Matt Perelstein, EQ dude & database dude Emotional Intelligence 101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1: The Basics -- http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31, just me) EQ-101.2: Emotional Healing -- http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, Paula and I) EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, Paula and Sharon and I) ---------------------- mcp -------------- "Only through focus can we do world-class things, no matter how capable we are." - Bill Gates ---------------------- mcp -------------- Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only Light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only Love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr., memorial ---------------------- mcp -------------- "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." - Bruce Lee --- Me: (summary) http://about.me/MattPerelstein Directions Unlimited | New Directions Workshops | 2GetHelp, Inc. | EucProducts.com 32501 McDonnell Lane, Fort Bragg, CA 95437 916.599.8597 cell | 707.962.9006 home | 707.962.9099 fax | 866-698-8920 fax via email (Gloria's RingCentral) Me: http://www.MattPerelstein.com Me on Facebook (1,201 friends): http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein Me on Twitter (956 tweets, 1,811 followers, 1,654 following): http://twitter.com/MattPerelstein Me on LinkedIn (495 connections, 502 followers!): http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein Me on 6Seconds: http://www.6seconds.org/cert/profile/view/matt-perelstein Me on Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/102969868167127324718/posts EQRocks! http://www.EQRocks.com EQRocks on Facebook: (66x) https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks EQRocks on Scoop.it (169 posts, 1,700 views): http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks RSS feed: http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks/rss.xml EQRocks on Pinterest (42 Pins, 86 Followers, 136 Following) EQforAll: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQforAll.doc EQ Research: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQResearch_20120716.doc EQRocks on Twitter: (897 tweets, 1,694 following, 1,875 followers) https://twitter.com/#!/eqrockseqheals EQ YouTube channel (46 videos, 26 Subscribers, 8,777 Views): http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 EQ Lessons and Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (free) EQ Blog (862 posts, page views: 110,000, RSS feed subscribers: 500): http://www.EQ-101.com (old format, same posts: http://2gethelp.blogs.com/) EQ-101.1: http://mendocoasttv.org/EQ101.html http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw or http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101 (28:31) EQ-101.2: http://mendocoasttv.org/EQ101P2.html (25:38, 3.7.2013) http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg EQ-101.3: http://archive.org/details/7653EQ1013 (26:16, 3.21.2013) http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo FB: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 1,900 members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ LinkedIn: The Emotional Intelligence Network (MGR(!) 9/21/2012, hit 45k 4/16/2013, now 45,188 members!): http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 2GetHelp non-profit: http://www.2GetHelp.org 2GetHelp fund raising: http://www.razoo.com/story/2-Get-Help-Incorporated 2GetHelp on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/2GetHelp.org Jill Bolte-Taylor on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU EQRocks on Scoop.it (854 views, 638 visitors) http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks EQRocksEQHeals on YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/EQRocksEQHeals MSC on feel.org http://www.feel.org 'Got Feelings?' on YouTube (270 views): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82czU-vpAIE (0:17) Emotional Literacy in kids Feel.org video (3:04) http://www.youtube.com/v/_tLQd4PpGRg EQ radio interviews http://www.EQRocks.com/audio/ (6x) LI-JEH: http://www.linkedin.com/groups?home=&gid=4297553 ND: May 18-20 140 W San Jose Ave, near Shaw and Blackstone, Fresno, CA ND Workshop: http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com ND Half-price page ($199) http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ *ND Testimonials: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials http://bit.ly/EQSuccess ND Signup: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup ND Dates: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/dates ND on Facebook (1,738 likes): http://Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop ND Closed Group (166x): https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewDirectionsWorkshop/ ND/EQ YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 ND for Veterans: http://www.2GetHelp4Vets.com ND for Veterans on Twitter (451 followers): http://www.Twitter.com/2GetHelp4Vets ND Tour Movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POi2NHMWMQo ND Tour PPT: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/NewDirectionsTour.ppt ND Tour on SlideShare (706 views): http://www.slideshare.net/mattperelstein/emotional-intelligence-workshop-explained Vet grad pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/2gethelp4veterans/ ND class pics & Doc's quote pics: http://www.EQRocks.com/images/ (zips) ND/EQ YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 Tags: EQ, success, emotions, emotional intelligence, emotional healing, New Directions workshop Personal Interviews: EQ-101: http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31) Karen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH8YRlHaLnY Sheila: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PvlLIOubQs Dorian: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpmGoyUBOJQ Susan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4d727gVhyg Eric: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQYwcZ9qwwY Sharon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsW98wvLwiU Larry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPnLk6FBZsU Larry1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S80Ie6mqPU Larry2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpUxYdGyYpA Christina: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbmOxhPl1sg Michele: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny2dd5ASSx0 (14:55) Michele1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCSM1bbB2V4 Dave/Richard/MNB vets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFX5I4Z5JWA (14:58) Troy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qltvWj5bno4 RichardJoAnn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSSRzHxqeRg ND_ProVideoClips1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLsGSAHJ7qk ND_ProVideoClips2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ipf8EgcKno Anger Interview (Tina and MCP) http://www.eqrocks.com/anger-is-misunderstood/ 1-Minute Interviews Karen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0KjCFZ-_OE(1:00) Mike White http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HekWCtadMQ (0:42) Kathy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrsHnkOTmzs (0:24) Tom Pope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eUcNSYLTpc (0:45) Larry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXSobgiL7DE (1:00) Sue Roth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYXA_BUdrvg (0:42) Eucalyptus Sales: http://www.EucProducts.com (28 subs) Eucalyptus on Facebook (479 likes, 52 friends): http://Facebook.com/EucProducts Euc care instructions: http://www.eucproducts.com/docs/eucalyptus-care-instructions-eucproducts.pdf Euc seed planting instructions: http://www.eucproducts.com/docs/eucalyptus-seed-planting-instructions-eucproducts.pdf Euc trees/seeds: http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html http://www.richters.com/Web_store/web_store.cgi?product=X2360 Eucs half price: http://www.eucproducts.com/pricelist_sale.html Euc seeds: http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html Euc starter/gift pack: http://www.eucproducts.com/gift%20and%20starter.html Euc branches: http://www.eucproducts.com/branches.html Euc leaves: http://www.eucproducts.com/leaves.html Euc chew sticks: http://www.eucproducts.com/sticks.html Euc combos: http://www.eucproducts.com/combo.html Euc subscriptions: http://www.eucproducts.com/subscription.html *Euc testimonials: http://www.eucproducts.com/testimonials.html photos: http://www.eucproducts.com/fan%20page.html Eucs SafePlants! (ISGA): http://bit.ly/xJHoy8 Draper-Richards-Kaplan: http://www.drkfoundation.org/ Keyword Usage: https://adwords.google.com/select/KeywordToolExternal Tags: EQ "emotional intelligence" "emotional healing" workshop success love "mental health" feelings emotions training help FreedmanTV: http://tinyurl.com/c4bwxgf Google Analytics for EQRocks (880 views): https://www.google.com/analytics/web/#report/content-overview/a30482748w56976267p58108207/ eqrocks.com@gmail.com / 2gh ND Informercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3ibkb7HAMg (5:36) Me on CreativeMojo blog: http://marklipinskisblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/creative-mojos-callin-june-13-2012/ Radio Interviews, 6.13.12, 6.26.12, 3.25.2013 Their's: http://toginet.com/shows/payingitforward (6.13.2012, the whole show) http://toginet.com/shows/creativemojo (6.13.2012, from minute 50 on) http://toginet.com/shows/believeinyourfairytale (6.26.2012, from minute 5:20-27:20 on) Emotional Physical Therapy - Dr. Danielle Mincey-White http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/03/25/emotional-intelligence#.UU-chs6Sq1U.gmail Mine: http://2GetHelp.org/audio/CreativeMojo.mp3 http://2GetHelp.org/audio/PayingitForward.mp3 http://2GetHelp.org/audio/BelieveInYourFairytale.mp3 It takes people like you to recognize there's an issue out there - My Emails matt@2gethelp.com 65,782 msgs eucs@2gethelp.com, mcp@2gethelp.com, info@2gethelp.com (w/PKP) matt@2gethelp.org / mperelst@2gethelp.com / matt@eucproducts.com matt@newdirectionsworkshop.com / info@newdirectionsworkshop.com matt@directionsunlimited.com matt@EQRocks.com / info@eqrocks.com mperelst@gmail.com / 2gh mattatak@gmail.com / mcp3x eqrocks.com@gmail.com / 2gh mperelst@yahoo.com / mperelstein@netsourceca.com eucproducts@yahoo.com old mathew.perelstein@autodesk.com mathew.perelstein@fiscal.ca.gov mperelstein@cisco.com - MyDomains on GoDaddy.com Domain Name Expires Status 2GETACLUE.COM 7/29/2012 Active - Locked 2GETBETTER.COM 7/29/2012 Active - Locked 2GETEQ.COM 2/28/2013 Active - Locked 2GETHELP.COM 12/18/2012 Active - Locked 2GetHelp.net 2/7/2014 Active - Locked 2GETHELP.ORG 4/15/2012 Active - Locked 2GETHELP4PTSD.COM 6/17/2013 Active - Locked 2GETHELP4TRAUMA.COM 6/17/2013 Active - Locked 2GETHELP4VETERANS.COM 3/18/2013 Active - Locked 2GETHELP4VETERANS.ORG 5/3/2012 Active - 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Locked WHATISEQ.ORG 3/3/2013 Active - Locked WHATISIQVSEQ.COM 2/21/2013 Active - Locked EQLiteracy.com/EQLiteracy.info 7.4.2013 EQersRock.com/EQersRock.info 7.4.2013 EQLanguage.com/EQLanguage.info 7.4.2013 EQinSchools.com/EQinSchools.info 7.4.2013 --- Peeps and such Thomas O'Callaghan, Professional Painting Services 57 Joseph Ct. San Rafael, CA 94903 415-459-4125 (c) wireless Xfinity Email / Pass tom.pps@comcast.net / 415-686-5286 4156865286 Tom Fan2lin 707671-3245 Sharon Davis puddingcreek@sbcglobal.net 561 N. Whipple St., FB 813-7574. FreeConference.com Line 1-605-475-4250 33# Mute/unmute *6 UK Tina Cook Digital Studio Press, tinac@iafrica.com (PP) 27 325257430 http://www.tinacook.tv/socialmedia/ Skype: bluebliss101 www.tina.bz/thrivequotes Google Docs: tinacookcoach@googlemail.com https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ArLmvigunbzddGNDRWk0MkpkNTBPNFVXNGxubm9oRVE#gid=0 Sliloh, Anita Scripter from Fort Wayne, Indiana (517) 639-0904 sliloh@sliloh.com personal site: http://slilohgraphics.com/ elance portfolio: http://www.elance.com/s/sliloh/ Clive Davies UK, elance clive@macace.net Larry Hawks 559-326-3930 Gloria Watson (559) 269-5419 gloria.watson@comcast.net gloria.watson@urs.com Project Administrator, URS Corporation 30 River Park Place West, Suite 180 Fresno, CA. 93720 Main: 559.256.1444 / Direct: 559.256.1459 Michael Fox 713-826-7375 c Lisa Rothstein 310-279-9039 lisa@yourwriterforhire.com Mark Teem, mechanic 961-0725, 513-5550 (c) Malia Vincent-Finney 58860 80th Street Anza, CA 92539 Doc Downing docdowning@att.net 559-449-9788 h Doc Downing, 559-449-9788 H, (559) 436-0428 ACT, 559-436-0438 fax Doc's Huge Group info http://02f4e26.netsolhost.com/DocBlog/blog5.php/2010/01/10/saturday-huge-group every Saturday morning from 9:00 am to 10:45 am. 4141 Ministries, 4141 N Fresno St, Fresno, CA www.DocDowning.info www.act-fresno.com info@act-fresno.com Chuck Ritchie, PMP, CISM critchie@metavista.com (916) 549-1800 Shane 559-908-4766 (c) ND-FB courseroom apt. complex mgr Cynthia Kelly NetSource Consulting Inc. Cell: 916-718-5717 Phone: 916-939-3335 ckelly@netsourceca.com Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, self-actualization http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow Celia Zaentz, celizan@att.net 805-234-6942 Merk's cell 928-699-2421 and Scott's cell 928-853-6379 MFF film-fest-board@googlegroups.com Melissa Howden Project Sanctuary (PS) 461 N. Franklin St., 964-HELP/964-4357 or 707-961-1507 IMS Health, Inc. 111 Sutter St. 14th fl | SF, CA 94104 | 415.814.7126 Email/Outlook: https://imsmail.medinitiatives.com/owa/ 2Gh7 (1.15.13) - 7 Steps to Emotional Healing [EQRocks] EQ Step 1: I know me, and I am aware of myself and my feelings [EQRocks] EQ Step 2: Know what my body Feels [EQRocks] EQ Step 3: Accept my Feelings [EQRocks] EQ Step 4: Express Feelings & Emotions [EQRocks] EQ Step 5: Release Negative Feelings [EQRocks] EQ Step 6: Replace negative feelings with Positive ones [EQRocks] EQ Step 7: Rejoice! about all our Learning and Growth [EQRocks] EQ Wrap-Up IKAERRR! (pronounced "I Care!") 1: I am aware of myself and my feelings 2: Knowing what our body Feels 3: Accepting our Feelings 4: Expressing Feelings & Emotions 5: Release of Negative Feelings 6: Replace Negative feelings with Positive ones 7: Rejoice! about all our Learning and Growth - Valerie Gemanis cd33333@aol.com 14k 14,500 Funding for 2GH/ND, Valerie (see C:\Users\v\Documents\~People\Val\AngelFund_20120305.xlsx) 1) Infomercial: $3,500. Malia 1750 (1750 paid) NOTHING! Demanded refund 3.27.12 2) Marketing pro: $4,000. bal, 1325 Lisa 1500 (1500 paid) copy (was 2250) Tina 75 (75 paid) sum it up Tina 585 (585 paid) EQ, EQRocks, MSC, NDW Tina 500 (500 paid) EQRocks marketing/promo (<--- check this against spreadsheet) Tina 750 (750 paid) EQRocks SM for 3 days/wk, an hour/day, for a month 5.17.2012 3) Websites/Blogs: $4,000. (increased from $3k) GetUWired 297 (297 paid) marketing plan, cancelled LiftedGroup 199/199/199 (597 paid, got $100 refund) NDW: emotional intelligence training, emotional intelligence class, emotional intelligence workshop, Dec11-Feb12 EQR: EQ, emotional intelligence, emotional healing Tina 2000 (2000 paid) EQRocks.com, with WishList Member and Social Media in place Bluehost 83 - 1yr (83 paid) host for EQRocks.com eqhealing.com / 2gh(?) Wishlist Member 97 (97 paid) WishList Member Tina Install and setup Membership Site, Wishlist $500 ($500 paid) 4) PR Campaign: $1,000. reassigned $1k PR 249 (249 paid) on the books, use it to launch EQRocks 5) Outside Salesman/marketing materials: $2,000. craigslist, n/c (need ND brochure) Elance 104.11 (104.11 paid) ND brochure / flyer Tina's proposal 5.8 I can do 5 days a week for approximately an hour a day for $1,260 per month (divided by 22 hours.mo = $57/hour, very fair). This would include: 1. Twitter – tweets, following, engaging 2. Facebook – posts and engaging 3. YouTube – finding videos, adding videos to playlists, adding contacts and engaging 4. Scoop.it – sourcing content to scoop. changed 5.28 via skype phone to: 1/2 hour coaching sessions, by skype phone, Mondays and Thursdays, 0900-0930 re: strategy and development of social media engagement --- MCP Standards / Writing Conventions I shall express myself, as I wish... and won't it be interesting to see how it goes and grows... I usually use . in dates rather than / so today is 11.25.2012 try to always use the 4-digit year (mostly outta respect) in filenames, dates should be written YYYYMMDD (ex: D-R_20121125.doc) so they sort properly 1'05 Month and Year only (M'YY) rare BACKUP Every day, using right-click, Send to Zip, and call it ~mcp_Ts_20121125.zip, and move to a \zArchive folder. use a zero in front of the time, if it's am so 05:11 time, am, until 10:00, then 10am or 10:23am 3:33pm Abbreviations and Naming Conventions: (!) = wow! something cool / interesting / really bad, etc. (?) or ?? = big, unanswered questions when (!) or (?) are at the end of a parenthetical, close properly with 2 )) ex: (this is a parenthetical remark, with a smiley at the end :)) (sp?) spelling is probably wrong, if it matters, like someone's name ?!? = ? maybe, huh, maybe ? !?! = definitely, but some ? ', " except for book titles and actual speech ("), use single quotes within sentences (ex: your 'disorder') ^ increase (ex: ^ Feelings = Feelings go up) \/ decrease (ex: \/ Logic = Logic goes down) (which I had a better symbol for down/decrease/less --- use --- (only) to split separate T's - and use - to separate a T, within a T (same basic subject as the one above, but dif. msg. ND's = ND 20080314 FresnoE or E's = Emotions T or T's or Thots = Thoughts F or F's = Feelings E or E's = Emotions R or R's = Relationships B or B's = Behaviour(s) Behaviour = Behavior (I like the European spelling better) F's and E's (in that order) T's, F's and B's (in that order) AR = AutoResponder (automated email sendouts, like the 100 Emotional Lessons in 100 Days) w/ = with (but you knew that one) I'll sometimes put hyp-hens where they don't belong... it's ok. one of my Worst, is that I often CAPITALIZE stuff that Ain't supposed to be capped, for Emphasis. I'll try not to overdo it, as some find it annoying, and yelling. tuff. "t" "u" "fuff" "fuff" = tuff, and tough. (,R#) = Audio recording from my Sony transcriber. # = order downloaded ~ -> mcp or 2gh/nd ~mcp, ~2GetHelp My -> subfolders MyApps, MyMusic, MyPictures, MyInvoices other biz TLM, Autodesk, EPA, CDPH z -> system zArchive, zLog >> = ToDo, by me << = ToDue, by others Collect: Euc Testimonial MCP Testimonial ND Testimonial EQ Testimonial <-- new File and folder names go from largest to smallest (ex:Facebook_MCP_20121125.txt) LI-EIN = LinkedIn, The Emotional Intelligence Network a number on the next line, ex: 20/30 = 20 requests to join/30 in submission queue FB-ND FB-NDG FB-MCP FB-EQR FB-EP FB-2GH FB-IM instant message TW-2GH TW-MCP (nd) EP: EQR: 2GH 2VH 2SH 2GHTC SP. SharePoint --- Important Peeps: Ursula Kauth Tel: 415.994.4433 / 415.945.9411 (c) ursula@ursulakauth.com 144 San Felipe Way, San Francisco, CA 94217 xTina Cook, via Skype https://twitter.com/#!/TinaCook 70,000 followers! Digital Studio Projects, Box 6558 Zimbali, KwaZulu Natal 4418 South Africa xSharon Davis xLonn Dugan 419-764-9649 PP: email@bighostco.com email: lonndugan@gmail.com xSusan Henderson 360-373-3223 xEleanor Prior 702-400-2567 xCatherine Franz xMalia xPhilip xLeah Grant xDave Buck xCoach t(!) Mike Biaggi 937-4965 695-0746 (c) MAC 937-5818 Lindsey x11 mike #17 marya, reg x10 - 01:37 ^^:^^ Timestamps: new standard convention a few days ago... usually on a line by themselves, after a ---, anywhere during a date stamp --- Emails (old, but...) Address Attributes Actions aj@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: aj93720@comcast.net christine@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: christinehelman@sbcglobal.net doc@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: docdowning@att.net erika@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: firedrake88@gmail.com eucs@2gethelp.com (Active) forwards to: matt@2gethelp.com wendyperelstein@aol.com glynk@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: glynksink@yahoo.com helen@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: hthorg@gmail.com info@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwards to: paula@2gethelp.com matt@2gethelp.com isaac@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: aisak23@hotmail.com john@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: johnfisher48@sbcglobal.net karen@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: klmabry@sbcglobal.net lj@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: ragamuffinnlove@aol.com lori@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: loriseargeant@sbcglobal.net mcp@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: matt@2gethelp.com michele@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: mesoplata@sbcglobal.net patrick@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: hd-roadrunner@hotmail.com rob@2gethelp.com (Active) forwarded to: rob@dreamachievers.com shannon@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: laclair@hotmail.com sharon@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: scn1616@comcast.net steve@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: snolan19@xtra.co.nz sydney@2GETHELP.COM (Active) forwarded to: woods48@juno.com DU (rename) Email Forwarding - 100 Pack - Exp: 04/03/2008 94 Available Add christine@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwarded to: christinehelman@sbcglobal.net info@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwards to: christinehelman@sbcglobal.net matt@2gethelp.com paula@2gethelp.com karen@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwarded to: klmabry@sbcglobal.net matt@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwarded to: matt@2gethelp.com paula@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwarded to: paula@2gethelp.com rob@directionsunlimited.com (Active) forwarded to: rob@dreamachievers.com MEW Foundation (rename) Email Forwarding - 100 Pack - Exp: 04/03/2008 92 Available Add 2gethelp@mew-foundation.org (Pending Setup) forwards to: matt@2gethelp.com mew-foundation@att.net paula@2gethelp.com lj@2gethelp.com aj@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwarded to: aj93720@comcast.net dancingbear@touchforhealth.org (Active) forwarded to: dancingbear14@comcast.net info@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwards to: matt@2gethelp.com paula@2gethelp.com lj@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwarded to: ragamuffinnlove@aol.com matt@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwarded to: matt@2gethelp.com msd@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwards to: matt@2gethelp.com docdowning@att.net mew-foundation@att.net paula@2gethelp.com paula@mew-foundation.org (Active) forwarded to: paula@2gethelp.com NDW (rename) Email Forwarding - 100 Pack - Exp: 04/03/2008 96 Available Add christine@NEWDIRECTIONSWORKSHOP.COM (Active) forwarded to: christinehelman@sbcglobal.net info@NEWDIRECTIONSWORKSHOP.COM (Active) forwards to: christinehelman@sbcglobal.net matt@2gethelp.com paula@2gethelp.com matt@NEWDIRECTIONSWORKSHOP.COM (Active) forwarded to: matt@2gethelp.com rob@newdirectionsworkshop.com (Active) forwarded to: rob@dreamachievers.com --- CA has 145,000 tax-exempt organizations --- EucProducts Wholesalers: 4.8.2010 Sweet Sugar Gliders (2-4x/mo) Misty, Ben, & Arren friends@mafriends.com, store@sweet-sugar-gliders.com http://www.sweet-sugar-gliders.com 8.16.2011 Snow Baby Gliders (very little) Kristina Zunker boukrismeyers@msn.com SnowBabyGliders.com x6.10.2012 SUGAR GLIDERS U.S.A. Karen Stallings on ebay Karen Stallings is fyi2002 on GC 340 Kenilworth Blvd. Kenilworth NJ 07033 - new subscription processing procedure 1. smile! 2. hit forward 3. copy from their name, include their email, thru their a address 4. come here to ~mcp.txt, search for subscribers, or Tammy, or one of 'em 5. go to the bottom of the main section, order by dSubscribed 6. Hrt, Paste, remove fluff so it reads Date(), Name, $ paid, order 7. copy that entire line 8. paste in next section, by MonthDay 9. scroll down below names and grab the wording by leaves/combo/branches 10. paste back into message 11. paste their email address in To: 12. BOLD the Welcome line and customize wording 13. Send EOP -- - Euc Monthly Subscriptions/Subscriber Customers as of 3.26.11 26x active, 61x canceled as of 11.25.2012 41x active, 110x canceled (see Recurring payments dashboard, $806) Started Cust what $$ week notes, email and address 9.16.07 Danielle Harris 1L 19.95 3 daniharris@comcast.net 130 Nottingham Road Pennsville, NJ 08070 10.9.07 Maggie Ogden 1L (CHECK ADDRESS!) some of both leaf types 19.95 2 maggieo253@gmail.com 2344 S Sheridan Ave, Tacoma, WA. 98405 ?.?.08 Star Hanson Starter 11.95 4 sshans@charter.net 4329 W. 8th Street Duluth, MN 55807 ?.?.08 Bob Wirth Starter 11.95 2 rwirth@frontiernet.net 6856 Sy Road Niagara Falls, NY 143040 4.22.08 Jane Thibeault 1L 19.95 3 lunamystab@hotmail.com 1641 Monty's Circle North, Southaven, MS 38672 8.06.08 Sherry Cannon 1/4L 9.95 1 11.12.08 10.26.08 Terri Woodburn 11.95 S terriw@ku.edu 16140 NW 124th St, Platte City, MO 64079 11.29.08 Sheri Starter 11.95 1 sherilb31@earthlink.net 6188 W Settlers Point Dr, West Valley City, UT 84128 ...08 J Hovde ? web work 1C cinnamon-stix@hotmail.com 332 25th Ave S Apt #3, Minneapolis, MN 55406 8.19.09 Elizabeth Julian 1C 19.95 4 bethjulian@communicomm.com P O Box 1075, 111 Main St. Platter, OK 74753 ?.?.09 Linda Lackey S 11.95 ? lclackey@gmail.com 1201 McCain Place, High Point, NC 27262 3.16.10 Steve Bugge / Rachel 2C 29.95 4 steve@stevebugge.com 1702 Rainier Ave. Everett, WA 98201 3.21.10 Jen Bailey S logo contest/ChrisHamman 530 So. 70 E #26, Kamas, UT 84036 (sent 9.18.10) 4.24.10 Ryan Hoffman $19.95 1C sk8erpunk_ryan@yahoo.com 6001 Old Shell Rd. , Robinwood Apts. , Apt#M97, Mobile, AL 36608 9.12.10 Mindy Sherer $11.95 1/2L mindy.whatever@gmail.com mindy lawson 2314 wilkinson pike maryville, TN 37803 11.24.10 Theresa Chambers 11.95 1/2L (aroma!)(NEW ADDRESS!) tcdragonfly@hotmail.com 3505 East Drive Apt H Baltimore, MD 21227 11.25.10 Sonja Earnest $11.95 1/2L-round searnest@cmpd.org 5833 Falls Ridge Lane Charlotte, NC 28269 1.27.11 Rudy & Lisa Gazarek $11.95 S gazuccio@verizon.net 42108 Flowering Path Place Aldie, VA 20105-2653 2.18.11 Lenetta Lefko $11.95 HOLD! (S, 2B's, no CS) TouchandSee@live.com 17720 S Sonoita Hwy Vail, AZ 85641-9104 3.18.11 Jared Dahlgren $11.95 SS boomoogoohoo@gmail.com 2318 San Marcos Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80910 3.22.11 Brian Pincus $11.95 1/2L brianpincus@gmail.com 26 Chadwick Court Trenton, NJ 08691 3.22.11 Cheryl Bates $11.95 S rcranch@kaltelnet.net 10071 Marilla rd. Copemish, MI 49625 7.1.11 Emily Jacques 11.95 S emmilely@gmail.com 150 Clubhouse Dr SW #302, Leesburg VA 20175 (2SG) 7.20.11 Jana Grabill $11.95 S (no CS) jgrabill@comcast.net 13509 Early Frost Circle Orlando, FL 32828 8.15.11 Carrie Martinez $29.95 2C keytoyourloan@yahoo.com 10700 Thrift Rd. Clinton, MD 20735 9.17.11 Blythe Smith $11.95, 1/2B,1' blythe891@yahoo.com 6117 Whitman Ave Fort Worth, TX 76133 North Ulmer Street Greenwood, AR 72936 11.10.11 Ryan & Danielle Ferguson $19.95 1C Ryan.K.Ferguson@gmail.com 3402 Stearns Rd. Valrico, FL 33596 12.23.11 Sandra Vercillo $11.95 S s.vercillo@gmail.com 306 old farmingdale road west babylon, NY 11704 2.11.12 Carin Wolfe $11.95 S carin.wolfe@msu.montana.edu 425 N 16th Ave Bozeman, MT 59715 (bi-monthly) 2.23.10 Dorothy Hill $19.95 1L counselorda@comcast.net 6771 SE Lillian Court Stuart, FL 34997 5.3.12 Christopher Kantz $19.95 1L crkantz@aol.com 732 Pawnee Street Bethlehem, PA 18015 6.1.12 Denise DeBlois $49.95 5L/CS miawillow@aol.com 8 Dexter ST. APT. 2 North Attleboro, MA 02760 6.4.12 Ashley Cooper $11.95 S ACOOPER387@AOL.COM 11681 SW 3rd St Plantation, FL 33325 7.2.12 Mickey Lin $29.95 2B, 4-2'x1" Svcs4You@yahoo.com 4236 Boxwood Lane Williamsburg, VA 23188 7.6.12 Pamela Mount $11.95 S jrmount@msn.com 205 Yoakum Parkway #1514, Alexandria, VA 22304 7.24.12 Tanis Morse $11.95 S(noB) tanismorse@hotmail.com 67 S Fair Manor Circle, The Woodlands, TX 77382 8.1.12 Stephanie Price $11.95 1/2B, 2-30" stephdaffy@yahoo.com 960 Flower Street Lakewood, CO 80215 8.19.12 Angela Scott $11.95 1/2B 2-2' ibiubu1334@hotmail.com angela scott 2203 garden drive janesville, WI 53546 8.28.12 katey zukosky $11.95 S katzy100@gmail.com 5506 18th St, Zephyrhills, FL 33542 9.13.12 Desiree Chambers $11.95 1/2B 2' d17tweety@yahoo.com 10216 La Vista, El Paso, TX 79924 9.15.12 Celeste Sotola $49.95 5B (arrangements) sotola7@aol.com 111 west Basin Street Basin, MT 59631 10.2.12 Dianna Miller $29.95 4-2'x1" (seeds, once, no bag!) dmjewelry@yahoo.com 5422 South 4178 Road Chelsea, OK 74016 10.9.12 Laurie Ramos $11.95 1/2L(R) ramoslaurie@yahoo.com 305 W Oltorf St, Austin, TX 78704 10.12.12 Randi Santone $49.95 5C randi8924@me.com 3522 Cedar Hill Dr Fayetteville, NC 28312 10.27.12 pamela houck $19.95 1C pghouck64@yahoo.com 1717 Briar Lake Road Winston Salem, NC 27103 11.14.12 Megan Gilliard $11.95 S mgjg1206@yahoo.com 1840 Darwick RD, Winston Salem, NC 27127 11.23.12 Jude Jett/Charles Burke $19.95 1L (B) GPSI fleurdejoo@gmail.com Jude Jett 414 Baxter Ave. #265 Louisville, KY 40204 12.3.12 Nancy-Lou D Chua $11.95 S tcily4ever@yahoo.com 36201 Grand River Ave Apt 202, Farmington, MI 48335 12.19.12 Angela Torrez $11.95 (REFUND March & April!) S angbammel@yahoo.com 46024 Dunkirk Court Macomb, MI 48044 1.21.13 Sarah Brahm $11.95 S sarahbrahm@hotmail.com 521 Fernando Drive De Pere, WI 54115 1.24.13 Leigh A Billingsley $19.95 1B, 8-1' leigh.billingsley@gmail.com Leigh A Billingsley Dole Fresh Vegetables 2959 Salinas Highway Monterey, CA 93940 2.2.13 Constance Moss $11.95 1/2L (pd Feb-Apr) 775-423-1162 1925 Gummow Dr. Fallon, NV 89406-6421 2.12.13 Jose Mayuga 12.95 1/2B, 2-1'x1" jpmorpheus@hotmail.com 704 Crabb Ave. Rockville, MD 20850 2.16.13 MAPSTAT80 $12.95 1/2L(Ban) Love@LoveCasanova.com 10307 Clarks Creek St Las Vegas, NV 89131-1555 2.18.13 melanie BURGESS $12.95 1/2L melfburgess@charter.net 2562dellwood ave medford, OR 97504 3.2.13 Gaye Schaul $19.95 1C moonpie1998@comcast.net 29W667 Prairie Ave Warrenville, IL 60555 3.4.13 Brian Dunbar, BM MM $12.95 S(X in May!) bddunbar@me.com 3023 Woodland Hills Drive #10 Ann Arbor, MI 48108 734.945.4880 3.23.13 Carla Covert $19.95 1C stillrckn03@yahoo.com 582 Erie Ave. N Canal Fulton, OH 44614 4.14.13 Allison De Hoyos $19.95 1B, 4-1' x1" allison.dehoyos@gmail.com 1462 Windward Dr Melbourne, FL 32935 4.29.13 Jeannie Burchfield $12.95/semi-monthly S jayep36@aol.com 108 Cypress Point Court Unit 306 Myrtle Beach, SC 29579 Subs By DATE: ...08 J Hovde ? web work 1C cinnamon-stix@hotmail.com 332 25th Ave S Apt #3, Minneapolis, MN 55406 6.1.12 Denise DeBlois $49.95 5L/CS miawillow@aol.com 8 Dexter ST. APT. 2 North Attleboro, MA 02760 10.2.12 Dianna Miller $29.95 4-2'x1" (no bag) dmjewelry@yahoo.com 5422 South 4178 Road Chelsea, OK 74016 ,7.2.12 Mickey Lin $29.95 2B, 4-2'x1" Svcs4You@yahoo.com Mickey Lin 4236 Boxwood Lane Williamsburg, VA 23188 2.2.13 Constance Moss $11.95 1/2L (pd Feb-Apr) 1925 Gummow Dr. Fallon, NV 89406-6421 775-423-1162 3.2.13 Gaye Schaul $19.95 1C moonpie1998@comcast.net 29W667 Prairie Ave Warrenville, IL 60555 ,5.3.12 Christopher Kantz $19.95 1L crkantz@aol.com 732 Pawnee Street Bethlehem, PA 18015 ,11.3.11 Meg Greene $11.95 S babymamasmilk@gmail.com 7702 56th ave ct nw, Gig harbor, WA 98335 12.3.12 Nancy-Lou D Chua $11.95 S tcily4ever@yahoo.com 36201 Grand River Ave Apt 202, Farmington, MI 48335 ,6.4.12 Ashley Cooper $11.95 S ACOOPER387@AOL.COM 11681 SW 3rd St Plantation, FL 33325 7.4.11 Emily Jacques 11.95 S emmilely@gmail.com 150 Clubhouse Dr SW #302, ,3.4.13 Brian Dunbar, BM MM $12.95 S bddunbar@me.com 3023 Woodland Hills Drive #10 Ann Arbor, MI 48108 734.945.4880 7.6.12 Pamela Mount $11.95 S jrmount@msn.com Pamela Mount205 Yoakum Parkway #1514, Alexandria, VA 22304 ,10.9.07 Maggie Ogden 1L (CHECK ADDRESS!) some of both leaf types 19.95 2 maggieo253@gmail.com mogden@bop.gov 2344 S Sheridan Ave, Tacoma, WA 98405 10.9.12 Laurie Ramos $11.95 1/2L(R) ramoslaurie@yahoo.com 305 W Oltorf St, Austin, TX 78704 ,11.10.11 Ryan & Danielle Ferguson $19.95 1C Ryan.K.Ferguson@gmail.com 3402 Stearns Rd. Valrico, FL 33596 2.11.12 Carin Wolfe $11.95 S carin.wolfe@msu.montana.edu 425 N 16th Ave Bozeman, MT 59715 ,9.12.10 Mindy Lawson $11.95 1/2L mindy.whatever@gmail.com 2314 wilkinson pike maryville, TN 37803 Medway, OH 45341 (c) 937-270-8323 10.12.12 Randi Santone $49.95 5C randi8924@me.com 3522 Cedar Hill Dr Fayetteville, NC 28312 2.12.13 Jose Mayuga 12.95 1/2B, 2-1'x1" jpmorpheus@hotmail.com 704 Crabb Ave. Rockville, MD 20850 9.13.12 Desiree Chambers $11.95 1/2C d17tweety@yahoo.com 10216 La Vista, El Paso, TX 79924 11.14.12 Megan Gilliard $11.95 S mgjg1206@yahoo.com 1840 Darwick RD, Winston Salem, NC 27127 4.14.13 Allison De Hoyos $19.95 1B, 4-1' x1" allison.dehoyos@gmail.com 1462 Windward Dr Melbourne, FL 32935 9.15.12 Celeste Sotola $49.95 5B (arrangements) sotola7@aol.com 111 west Basin Street Basin, MT 59631 8.15.11 Carrie Martinez $29.95 2C keytoyourloan@yahoo.com 10700 Thrift Rd. Clinton, MD 20735 ,9.16.07 Danielle Harris $19.95 1L daniharris@comcast.net 130 Nottingham Road Pennsville, NJ 08070 8.16.12 Stephanie Price $11.95 1/2B, 2-30" stephdaffy@yahoo.com 960 Flower Street Lakewood, CO 80215 2.16.13 MAPSTAT80 $12.95 1/2L(Ban) Love@LoveCasanova.com 10307 Clarks Creek St Las Vegas, NV 89131-1555 ,9.17.11 Blythe Smith $11.95, 1/2B,1' blythe891@yahoo.com 6117 Whitman Ave Fort Worth, TX 76133 2.18.13 Melanie BURGESS $12.95 1/2L melfburgess@charter.net 2562dellwood ave medford, OR 97504 ,8.19.09 Elizabeth Julian 1C 19.95 bethjulian@communicomm.com P O Box 1075, 111 Main St. Platter, OK 74753 8.19.12 Angela Scott $11.95 1/2B, 2-2' ibiubu1334@hotmail.com angela scott 2203 garden drive janesville, WI 53546 12.19.12 Angela Torrez $11.95 (REFUND March & April!) S angbammel@yahoo.com 46024 Dunkirk Court Macomb, MI 48044 ,7.20.11 Jana Grabill $11.95 S (no CS) jgrabill@comcast.net 13509 Early Frost Circle Orlando, FL 32828 ?3.21.10 Jen Bailey S logo contest/ChrisHamman 530 So. 70 E #26, Kamas, UT 84036 (sent 9.18.10, 1.21.13) 1.21.13 Sarah Brahm $11.95 S sarahbrahm@hotmail.com 521 Fernando Drive De Pere, WI 54115 ,4.22.08 Jane Thibeault 1L 19.95 lunamystab@hotmail.com 1641 Monty's Circle North, Southaven, MS 38672 ,3.22.11 Brian Pincus $11.95 1/2L brianpincus@gmail.com 26 Chadwick Court Trenton, NJ 08691 ,3.22.11 Cheryl Bates $11.95 S rcranch@kaltelnet.net 10071 Marilla rd. Copemish, MI 49625 ,12.23.11 Sandra Vercillo $11.95 S s.vercillo@gmail.com 306 old farmingdale road west babylon, NY 11704 ,2.23.10 Dorothy Hill $19.95 1L counselorda@comcast.net 6771 SE Lillian Court Stuart, FL 34997 11.23.12 Jude Jett/Charles Burke $19.95 1L (ban) GPSI fleurdejoo@gmail.com Jude Jett 414 Baxter Ave. #265 Louisville, KY 40204 3.23.13 Carla Covert $19.95 1C stillrckn03@yahoo.com 582 Erie Ave. N Canal Fulton, OH 44614 ,4.24.10 Ryan Hoffman $19.95 1C sk8erpunk_ryan@yahoo.com 6001 Old Shell Rd, Robinwood Apts, Apt#M97, Mobile, AL 36608 ,11.24.10 Theresa Chambers $11.95 1/2L (aroma!)(NEW ADDRESS!) tcdragonfly@hotmail.com 3505 East Drive Apt H Baltimore, MD 21227 7.24.12 Tanis Morse $11.95 S(noB) tanismorse@hotmail.com 67 S Fair Manor Circle, The Woodlands, TX 77382 1.24.13 Leigh A Billingsley $19.95 1B, 8-1' leigh.billingsley@gmail.com Leigh A Billingsley Dole Fresh Vegetables 2959 Salinas Highway Monterey, CA 93940 ,11.25.10 Sonja Earnest $11.95 1/2L-round searnest@cmpd.org 5833 Falls Ridge Lane Charlotte, NC 28269 ,1.27.11 Rudy & Lisa Gazarek $11.95 S gazuccio@verizon.net 42108 Flowering Path Place Aldie, VA 20105-2653 10.27.12 pamela houck $19.95 1C pghouck64@yahoo.com 1717 Briar Lake Road Winston Salem, NC 27103 8.28.12 katey zukosky $11.95 S katzy100@gmail.com 5506 18th St, Zephyrhills, FL 33542 11.29.08 Sheri S 11.95 sherilb31@earthlink.net 6188 W Settlers Point Dr, West Valley City, UT 84128 4.29.13 Jeannie Burchfield $12.95/semi-monthly S jayep36@aol.com 108 Cypress Point Court Unit 306 Myrtle Beach, SC 29579 had, but lost... 4.21.13 3.1.12 Naomi Hughes $11.95 S kawgirlzx7r@yahoo.com 1724 Augustine Dr. Titusville, FL 32796 (no mas SGs) 4.16 8.20.12 Demetrio Aspiras $11.95 1C daspiras@gmail.com NH Public Def 20 Merrimack St Manchester, NH 03101-2206 (?) 4.8.13 11.3.11 Meg Greene $11.95 S babymamasmilk@gmail.com 7702 56th ave Ct NW, Gig harbor, WA 98335 (aka Heather Cummings) sold gliders 4.3.2013 1.26.13 M.R. Steel Novelties $19.95 1C rsnms824@msn.com 6512 65 Ave N Pinellas Park, FL 33781 3.27.13 5.3.12 Debbie Holme $11.95 3' (once, then 2') debbieholme12@gmail.com 1410 Rose Hill Rd Hamersville OH 45130 3.24.13 10.2.11 Robin Haldeman $49.95 5B, 3'x1.5" auctionenvyus@aol.com 231 Waterford Drive Crystal Run Farms Middletown, DE 19709 (budgetary issues) 3.19.13 1.25.13 Melanie Jackson $11.95 1/2B, 2-1x1" melanieann1946@gmail.com 2741 Mt. Paran church Road Monroe, GA 30655 (?) 3.18.13 1.16.13 pam sheets $11.95 S sheetspamela@yahoo.com 2500 e harmony sp296, fort collins, CO 80524 (trailer trash!) 3.16.13 10.1.12 Glen Carter $49.95 5L, bananas dcarter281@gmail.com G. DeWayne Carter 847 N Ulmer Street Greenwood, AR 72936-3009 (10.3.11 for about 5 mo., then off) 3.15.13 11.3.2012 Jeffery Daft $11.95 S daffa@charter.net 4518 Shalom Creek Lane Spring, TX 77388 (found local tree) 3.6.13 10.17.12 Albert Durant $19/95 1L acdurant@snet.net 658 Colebrook Rd P.O. Box 257 Colebrook, CT 06021 2.26.13 2.22.13 mid west birds $12.95 S wings@midwestbirds.com 602 3rd Avenue Plattsmouth, NE 68048 (thought we had grass or something...) 2.22.13 1.20.12 Sheri Burnett $11.95 1/2L sherilb31@comcast.net Shauna Blythe 694n 410w, Tooele, UT 84074 ?? 2.18.11 Lenetta Lefko $11.95 HOLD! (S, 2B's, no CS) TouchandSee@live.com 17720 S Sonoita Hwy Vail, AZ 85641-9104 2.16.13 1.18.13 Daniel Farley $19.95 1C farley01983@aol.com 1162 Hager Fork, Midkiff, WV 25540 2.11.13 10.18.12 Nancy Kocher $11.95 S nkocher@tampabay.rr.com 10572 Fishbowl Drive West Homosassa, FL 34448-3834 352-628-7875 (gliders don't want/like 'em) 2.3.13 10.14.12 Joe Maruhn $19.95 1C painizcheap@yahoo.com 716 Reservoir St Socorro, NM 87801 1.21.13 9.9.12 Diane Barney $29.95 2C djbarneykin@gmail.com 12313 Holmwood Greens Pl. Riverview, FL 33579 1.14.13 8.07.10 Ileana Kistler $11.95 S imkistler726@gmail.com 214 n tryon st, ste 2500, charlotte, NC 28202-2381 12.15.12 ,5.9.11 Jocelyn Hreno $11.95 1C, fresh and dry, CS, biz cards jhreno1@hotmail.com 1426 E Edwards Ave Indianapolis, IN 46227 12.2.12 2.11.12 Penny Brannon $11.95 1/2L (b for GPSI) binxb1@aol.com Nicole Brannon (daughter) 265 Cranz PL Akron, OH 44310-3201 11.20.12 11.09.12 kim mcdonough $11.95 1/2C (1') Shortstuff875@yahoo.com 441 natches dr raeford, NC 28376 10.30.12 10.2.12 Ben Hauser $29.95+11.95 4-2'x1" AND 1/2C hauserb@gmail.com 502 Pomano Bayou Vista, TX 77563 9.23.2012 4.13.10 Tina Riegert $11.95 S kryssidog@earthlink.net 308 Hannah Marie Munford, TN 38058 8.23.12 11.22.11 Michelle Brantley $19.95 1L ugarph@charter.net Hart of Michelle 419 Golden Meadows Cir Suwanee, GA 30024 7.19.12 2.21.11 Sara Orsack $19.95 1L windowshoppingmaven@sio.midco.net 5809 W. 36th St. Sioux Falls, SD 57106 7.18.12 5.11.12 Mandymarleann King $11.95 1/2B mandymarleann@hotmail.com 1029 N 2nd St Decatur, IN 46733 7.18.12 5.15.12 West Coast Trading $19.95 1C tamaraklod@yahoo.com Tammy Klodzinski 12266 Country Day Cir, Fort Myers, FL 33913 7.6.12 12.5.11 Jennifer Leising $11.95 1/2L jleising@zagmail.gonzaga.edu 2232 S 78th St West Allis, WI 53219 6.7.12 4.30.12 Brandy Fruen $11.95 S thefruenfamily@aol.com 7360 Miter Street Jacksonville, FL 32219 5.30.12 11.29.11 Lori Crouse $19.95 1C crouse.loril@yahoo.com 320 Montevideo Timberville, VA 22853 5.5.12 3.9.12 Diane Fox $49.95 5B, 20-1'x2" Gliderinvasion@msn.com 104 Sunset Ave. Mount Airy, MD 21771 4.26.12 9.8.11 Patricia Andrus $11.95, 1/2B, 2' pandrus2006@yahoo.com 19115 Knoll Dale Court Cypress, TX 77429 4.2.12 1.25.10 Tanya Barton S $11.95 1 tanyagin@aol.com 175 Burner Lane Berryville, VA 22611 3.22.12 12.13.10 Melissa Cowles $11.95 S ssdreamsicles4@aol.com 6537 Old Greenhill Rd Bowling Green, KY 42103?? 3.18.11 Jared Dahlgren $11.95 SS boomoogoohoo@gmail.com 2318 San Marcos Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80910 11.14.11 9.7.11 Mischelle Sanchez $39.95 3C galerita2@gmail.com 14819 East Palomino Lane Spokane, WA 99206 ?? 11.12.10 Teri Chambers $9.95 S tcdragonfly@hotmail.com 84 bond street westminster, MD 21157 ?? 12.12.10 Carol Mombourquette $11.95 1/2L rmombo@comcast.net 58 Everard St #3 Revere, MA 02151 11.7.11 9.26.11 Tatiana Foster $19.95 1C tatianafoster@live.com 346 Roosevelt Ave Satellite Beach, FL 32937 11.?.11 3.16.10 Steve Bugge / Rachel 2C 29.95 4 steve@stevebugge.com 1702 Rainier Ave. Everett, WA 98201 10.24.11 6.01.11 Arie Hawkins 1B, 2x2' 19.95 ahawk2@umbc.edu 2561 Radcliffe Ave Abington, PA 19001 8.30.11 2.27.11 Lyn Westfall $11.95 S lasw4812@yahoo.com 2221 Blue Ridge Blvd Independence, MO 64052 8.26.11 8.22.08(!) Jeanette Freerksen Starter 11.95 1 charmedone@wi.rr.com 31722 North Circle Dr, Burlington, WI 53105-9767 8.25.11 9.30.08 Nancy Ford 1/2B (8x+) 11.95 1 n_c_ford@yahoo.com 6802 Papaya Ct Louisville, KY 40219 8.24.11 7.16.11 Lindsay Setford silvercopse@aol.com 253 nelson ave, upstairs, saratoga springs, NY 12866 8.19.11 10.7.10 Jodi Iker $11.95 1/2L 11.95 jewelcreekjo@yahoo.com Gary Coates, 12190 David Allen Dr Medway, OH 45341 (c) 937-270-8323 7.21.11 2.14.11 Jennifer Leising $11.95 S jleising@zagmail.gonzaga.edu 2695 Perryville Rd, Canastota NY 13037 should be back... 7.6.11 6.14.11 Jennie D Howe 2C 29.95 naturally01@hotmail.com 2410 Lakeshore Drive Kansasville, WI 53139 5.20.11 1.6.11 Janine Carroll $11.95 S ldyfeliciakiten@aol.com 114 West Cedar st. Vermillion, SD 57069 (undeliverable) 5.18.11 1.7.11 Bonnie Baath $19.95 1L round bbaath@aol.com 3 Ocean View Lane, Rockport, ME 04856 3.23.11 1.22.11 Glen Carter $49.95 5C(stems and leaves!) rarebird825@msn.com 847 N Ulmer Street Greenwood, AR 72936-3009 3.22.11 1.14.11 Nicole Perkins $11.95 S Njperkins@comcast.net 600 Meridian ST EXT Apt 1316 Groton, CT 06340 3.18.11 2.27.11 Sarah Brahm $11.95 S sarahbrahm@hotmail.com 521 Fernando Drive De Pere, WI 54115 12.14.10 9.06.07 Kathy Busby 1C 20.00 2 round leaves only k.busby@tx.rr.com 4308 Woodbluff Drive, Mesquite, TX 75150 11.12.10 10.23.09 John Jackson, Jr. 1/2 L 11.95 4 J1975John@aol.com 2650 Tom St. Sturgis, MS 39769 9.16.10 4.10.10 Renata Almeida $11.95 S na renata1976@gmail.com 804 Mount Vernon St. Orlando, FL 32803 8.4.10 6.27.10 Chris Keenon Starter 11.95 2 CJKeenon@comcast.net Chris Keenon 6317 Colton Ridge Ct. Plainfield, IL 60586 07.25.70 2.3.10 Denise Keast-Gainey 1L 19.95 1 dennil56@yahoo.com 1167 Biscayne Dr Cape Coral, FL 33909-5103 06.05.10 5.9.10 Michele Rebelo $11.95 S pinupsmurf@yahoo.com 661 Promenade Pl 212, Columbia, SC 29229 05.29.10 4.6.10 Ian Garrett $19.95 1B? 1 04.13.10 Wendy Cimino 3lb./wk, bananas, $50 WENDY.CIMINO@CZS.org Brookfield Zoo, 3300 Gold Road, Brookfield, IL 60513 (Fall?) 03.22.10 12.21.09 Patricia Molina 1C $19.95 3 molinayvedia@msn.com 511 N Cuernavaca Dr #B, Austin TX 78733 1 parrot 03.22.10 2.15.10 Robert & Shari Skaggs S 11.95 3 rowiska3@aol.com 1432 Snook Ct Fort Collins, CO 80526 02.25.10 7.17.09 Laurie Ramos S 11.95 4 ramoslaurie@yahoo.com 305 W Oltorf St, Austin, TX 78704 11.24.09 8.18.08 Chris Keenon Starter 11.95 2 CJKeenon@comcast.net Chris Keenon 6317 Colton Ridge Ct. Plainfield, IL 60586 11.22.09 9.19.08 Angela Baxter 1/2L, larger b's 11.95 1 allinhim6@yahoo.com 6742 Pine Springs Wesley Chapel, FL 33545 10.02.09 5.27.08 Christine Baggette 1C 19.95 1 136 Grande Club Drive, Maylene, AL 35114 8.27.09 4.9.09 Dennis Smith S 11.95 2 tullah@ktis.net 8564 Kickapoo Steedman, MO 65077-1020 (bird died) ?.?.08 Lucy Towbin 2Dried 28.00 ? Dried! phoenixforaging@gmail.com 7305 Apache Road Little Rock, AR 72205 11.26.08 Ian Garrett branches 19.95 1 homosapiensoregonus@gmail.com 2031 SW 10th Ave Apt 29, Portland, OR 97201 6.1.09 ?.?.08 Tammy Wilson 2C 33.00 St. Johns Housing Partnership, P.O. Box 1086, St. Augustine, FL 32085 5.20.09 4.11.09 Denise Keast-Gainey Variety! 11.95 4 dennil56@yahoo.com 1167 Biscayne Dr, Cape Coral, FL 33909-5103 5.17 5.2.09 Kimberly Lange 1/2L 11.95 1 langes4@q.com 5667 Kingsford Ave. Park City, UT 84098 (prickly sticks) ,?.?.08 Carol McDermott 1/2L 11.95 4 swimswithfish@hotmail.com 7142 Hillbeck Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80922 4.17.09 '2.28.09 Danielle Hawkinson 1C 19.95 1 ccutied123@gmail.com 5313 Peach Ave. Seffner, FL 335841 ,10.01.08 Janine Carroll Starter 11.95 1 ldyfeliciakiten@aol.com 2740 Eliot Cir Apt 22 Westminster, CO 80030 ,11.05.08 Karen Arrighetti 1C 19.95 3 k_arrighetti@earthlink.net 710 Morgan Rd. Scottsville, NY 14546 3.13.09 ,12.08 Lois E. Novacek 1C 19.95 2 ,5.9.08 Teresa Bullinger 1L 19.95 2 8.17.08 ,4.25.08 Courtney Pineda, Avian Angels 1C 19.95 4 512-659-5151 www.avianangels.org ,7.1.08 Erin Wrobel ,2.12.08 First Coast Sugar Gliders combo? Email: jaxsuggies@bellsouth.net Paula ,1.11.08 Laura Long 5lb combo! 52 ? seeds, some dry ,2.?.08 Sam S Combo ?? 4 ,7.3.07 Donna Maston Combo 27.95 3 ,10.5.07 Irene Martinez Combo 27.95 1 (and 1 more 9.23.08) 9081 Prosperity Lake Drive Jacksonville, FL 32244 4.17.08 Shelyn Garcia 1C 19.95 3 - (leaves) Hey ! Welcome to the elite group of fresh Eucalyptus subscribers! Your first shipment of leaves will go out on Monday, along with some tips on how to care for and present the Eucs to your little friend(s). Just curious, if the eucs are for pets, what kind of pet(s) do you have, and how many? How can I customize your order for you? We have oval (younger) leaves, banana-shaped (more mature) leaves, and dried leaves (leaves that have fallen and aged) -- or you may want to add sticks and/or branches, seeds, nuts or bark -- a pound is a pound of whatever part(s) of the Eucalyptus you want! And you can change your request any time. Let me know how I can make your experience with Eucalyptus as fulfilling as possible. Thanks again for subscribing! I will do my best for you. - Matt Perelstein www.EucProducts.com 916-599-8597 - (combo) Hi ! Welcome to the elite group of fresh Eucalyptus subscribers! Your first combo shipment will go out on Monday, along with instructions on how to care for and present the Eucs to your little friend(s). You ordered a one pound combo, which usually includes fresh leaves (and a few dried, just for fun), about 1' branches with leaves on, and a bundle of smaller chew sticks. Does that sound like the right mixture? Please know that, as a subscriber, you are free to customize your order whenever you wish... you can ask for more/less leaves, longer/thicker branches, more/less chew sticks, some seeds, seed pods, or even bark. Just curious, if the eucs are for pets, what kind of pet(s) do you have, and how many? Let me know if I can customize your order and make your experience with Eucalyptus as fulfilling as possible. Thanks again for subscribing! I will do my best for you. - Matt Perelstein www.EucProducts.com 916-599-8597 - (branches) Welcome to the elite group of fresh Eucalyptus subscribers! Your first shipment of fresh Euc Branches should go out on Monday, along with instructions on how to care for and present the Eucs to your little friend(s). In the future, you may modify your order to get chew sticks, leaves, branches, seeds, nuts, bark or whatever you'd like. Again, I can customize your order and make your experience with Eucalyptus as fulfilling as possible. Thanks again for subscribing! I will do my best for you. - Matt Perelstein www.EucProducts.com 916-599-8597 - (cancel sub) Oh no, Mandymarleann -- so sorry to see you go! Is it something I did or didn't do that's having you cancel your subscription? I hope things are ok for you. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. Take care and thanks for being a loyal customer! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- people who have done Euc orders/workers with me: Bri Sarah karlie Josh-u-a AK pkp pr scotto mikey aubree aj lori sydney girl from denmark jay jenna katie steven lauren 7.22 marie kaitlyn Kayla E. (sarah B's friend, tyler ashby's little sister) josh Linebaugh leela ernie big g (garrett), with Josh-u-a 10.21.11 Summer (Frank and Nancy's daughter Michele's daughter), Lindsey (driver) & Alonzo 6.20.2012 sharon (again) Christina Tate Bri, Jessica & Hannah (3 hours, $20 each) Ceana (sp? bri's friend, the great singer) DATED MATERIAL STARTS HERE --- 4.23.04 Subject: < ND/TCOY_ Wording from the feedback I'm getting on the brochure, I feel like people are trying to tell me, as they told Howard Rourk, to conform and be nice. I have gone overboard in the past in being conversational (ie-immature), but I my writing now is more mature and more professional, while still including myself in the text/content. Write ND from my perspective, 80% them, 20% me. Write what I know, then back it up with, how I know it, personally. Say it clearly, and forthright, and with Attitude. 30 second elevator speech ------------------------------ We show people how to handle their Feelings -- Anger, Fear, Depression (pause) because once the tough stuff is handled, our bodies return to their Natural state -- Happy, Loving and Free! We're all about Helping People Feel Better, about themselves and their Lives. We're about Handling our Feelings and Emotions We're about Taking Control of our Lives We're not an expensive, one-shot, motivational workshop that gets you all fired up, but then leaves you flat. We help people get out of repetitive behaviours that don't work. Do you have any areas of your life that aren't working well for you? There are probably things that you work really hard on, but are not getting the results you want. Chances are, there are some beliefs or feelings or thoughts that are getting in your way. We are not therapists. (actually, we're much faster :-) We don't analyze you, we don't label you, and we don't need to hear your whole life's story. We're not trying to make you dependant for life, just 1 short weekend. We don't have much time, so we go right to the Heart of the matter. We help you break-through old belief systems and thought patterns, quickly and effectively. … and we'll show you how it all works, so you can try it at home, with people you trust, from now on, for free! Life Events + Thoughts & Beliefs + Feelings & Emotions = Behaviors and Results Control them, or they will Control You In therapy, they call it: The Cognitive - Affective - Behavioral Model (Adler, Perls, Downing) At New Directions, we say it in simpler terms: 1. Understand your thoughts, and their origins 2. Identify, Accept and Express your Feelings in positive ways 3. Control your behaviours, and the feelings that push at them … that's it. It's not rocket science. It's just stuff that isn't taught in regular school. If you don't learn it from the New Directions weekend, you will probably learn it in the School of Hard Knocks. Imagine a life where you: Get your emotional needs met with empowering, Functional & FUN relationships Understand and accept your "issues", and know what to do with them Are able to make and keep your Boundaries and Values -- so you can keep yourself safe, emotionally Become vibrantly "in-touch" with your Feelings -- for a Love-filled, Joyous, Passionate Life!! Are able to be wide open and vulnerable with safe people -- creating intimacy, closeness and Love Actually Feel SAFE, for a change! (many have Never experienced that luxury -- we'll show you how) Have the courage and skills to take strong, purposeful action, if needed to protect yourself and your loved ones. Have a Knowing, a Wisdom, a Gift, that can only be achieved by being centered, aware, and whole. Once you learn to clearly identify how you Feel, and to Accept and Express your Feelings in positive ways, you will find an overwhelming sense of peace and control of your life! You can act, rather than re-act. You can understand people and get along with others. You can make your life look, and more importantly Feel, the way you want it to. Don't let your past run your life any longer! Don't let another painful, hopeless day go by! Don't let your dysfunctional past ruin your present and your future! This weekend is not for everyone. We will be gentle and loving, but there will still be awkward, uncomfortable moments during the process. It's called Growth, and Learning, and getting out of your Comfort Zone. It's a crutial part of going beyond where you've been before and it's the stuff that life is made of … but if you’re not up for it, that's Ok. We promise to push your boundaries and stretch your limits -- because that's what you've hired us to do. You will breakthrough old barriers and limitations and you will NOT leave the courseroom unhappy. After the weekend, you WILL feel better about your life -- We gaurentee it (or your money back)! Once a graduate, always a friend. --- how to blend the inner game with the outer game to achieve total success. --- Make decisions as a mature Adult, not a little child. --- this is not the place they get to come each week to whine about how they feel - this is where they come to examine what is working in the present, what is not, and to go through the process of changing the "is not" part of that by taking action. - Penny R. Tupy, Life Coach Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine: Clarity Release Acceptance Remove Judgments Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath) not Ok whining blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all) one-up-manship / competition poor me (if you want people to feel sorry for you, your not looking for results) victim (to explain how there really is NOthing you can do about it) --- Therapists work on the "past", we must focus on the Now, and the Future (which is what people want to fix, anyway! --- >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> mcp <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< gobs missing here!! moved to ~mcp_.txt --- off to Sac PR, Josh, Andrew, Sarah B., Bri, Pkp, 3 doggies --- wonderful New Year's Eve party! --- 1.1.11 (Happy New Year!!!)(!) --- 1.1.12(!) HNY! (hmmm...) --- 7.1.12 04:05 up (from coach) end of "Field of Dreams" ESPN LeBron's finals win Tiger's in 2nd 05:16 here --- PP = 1875 --- Yael Stark, via IM good luck with it all. The next few days/week might be kinda rough... don't fight it... learn from it all. Be careful of what you 'decide' from this, and make sure not to judge yourself too harshly... we can learn from our mistakes WITHOUT trashing/blaming/shaming ourselves! ... and again, I'm sorry this happened to you. It doesn't sound like you "did" anything wrong... you were duped by a con. You trusted, and loved, honestly, openly and completely... and that's a wonderful thing. --- 06:58 Hi Stephen, What comment of Joshua's are you referring to? I didn't see one in this thread. However, I have heard him say that EQ isn't teachable before. I think what he means is that it's already all inside us, and we're just bringing it out... not really "teaching" it, per se. Thanks for jumping in! - Matt (LI-EIN moderator) --- ...pause for an hour... (got my office too hot) --- 08:18 MCP testimonial, Euc Testimonial mistresslynn Glider 155 Posts Yesterday : 08:05:46 PM I got myne yesterday! They loved it. I do have a question though. My order was a small variety pk cause i didnt know if myne liked it but i would love branches with leaves on them. I seen the pic of exactly what i wanted in a blue bucket on here. Does anyone know how i order that stuff? Is that the branches? Thankx. JazzNZoeysmom Goofy Gorillatoes USA 4366 Posts Yesterday : 09:37:16 PM Yes. What I did was send Matt and email explaining what I wanted, he then explained to me how to get on his site and order it. He sells by the pound so you can pick a "lb-age" then tell him how you want it. Like, I want X amount of 1-2in. diameter branches...he'll tell you something like....a 2in. diameter branch that is about X ft. long usually weighs X lbs. so he'll instruct you to go to his site and select say, 2 lbs. of whatever and then email him as a reminder kind of thing. He's really good about cooresponding with you to make sure he gives you what you want. --- 08:38 Hi Miranda! I'd be happy to give you a quote for 12 - 3-footers... I just need to know how thick you want them (due to the weight). If you want 1/2" - 1" thick branches, with leaves on them, I believe it will be about 12 lbs. If you want them thicker, they'll weigh more. But I'll make you a deal and give you 12 lbs for the price of 10. Just place your order for Qty 2, 5 lb branches and I'll know what to send you, ok? http://www.eucproducts.com/branches.html And, based on your email address, you are in Canada, right? I've never shipped that much to Canada before, and we used to have problems with their customs... but I have been approved the Canadian government to ship Eucs across the border (I tape the certification to each box). May I ask what you're plans are for the branches? Thanks much for the inquiry. I hope we can do business together! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Branches From: Miranda Date: Sun, July 01, 2012 8:08 am To: eucs@2gethelp.com Im looking for about a dozen branches with leaves on them approx three feet long. Can you give me a price as well as a shipping estimate please? Thank you --- 08:52 FB-EP About: Sugar gliders and birds LOVE fresh Eucalyptus! Never sprayed, all natural leaves, chew sticks, perches, bark -- and FREE seeds! Try a Starter pack. http://EucProducts.com Company Overview We moved to Northern California and found some property that is literally covered with trees: redwoods, firs and Eucalyptus. We then found out, kinda by accident, that pet birds and sugar gliders LOVE Eucs (until then, we had burned our eucs as they are also make great firewood). Now, 7 years later, we have received over 1,000 orders, have a wholesale and drop-shipping business and provide Eucs to zoos, rescue operations and breeders all over the US, and beyond! --- trailer to dump --- >>? start up monthly call on EQRocks, and just go with it... whether anyone shows or not. Anyone wanna come learn about EQ? I'll be on the phone, __, __,2012 at least thru the rest of the year. >>? allow non-nders into group? >> announce calls to NDers, EQRocks, etc. if a few people come, we'll take turns. if a bunch of people come, I'll just talk. but I'd like for everyone to be able to introduce themselves, at least. chat lecture I have gobs of info on EQ we could pick a subject a night, or go with whatever you wanna talk about. what/how you're feeling, EQ-wise. then, we'd have a write in to support each other between times. I could do one for NDers, and one for the public, but... no, I'll do one, and focus. --- paula found $thousand --- I agree with Arlene re: Take 8. I also think we should pick the date, now. I think us farting around with the schedule last year, and now getting ready to do it again, has pissed off more people than anything else the MFF has ever done, ever. They want to KNOW there's an MFFestival, without fail, 3 days each and every year, like clockwork, the movie-lowers descends on Mendocino. It's an international event held in their/our own backyards, by people they can stop by and talk to. Gives hope and solidity and connection. I think we should plan on May 31 - June 2, 2013. As someone mentioned last night, it is not SIGNIFICANTLY more work to do a 3-dayer, than a 1-dayer. ALL the functions are required, either way, they're just repeated a bit longer. The incremental costs of additional days are very low. I believe we should announce that we had a stellar year this year, with massively successful hits, and 2 super-cool new venues... and the writer for the SF Chronicle ASKING to come talk... and that we are now County-wide, and coming back full speed next year, with the bestest MFF event ever! And, we're adding a mini-festival in November... stand by for more! As Paul also mentioned last night, we, unlike many/most non-profits, have massive untapped opportunities here. And I believe, as I spouted before, Film is the #1 most powerful media KNOWN TO MAN... and we have a unique opportunity to do amazing things with it! I believe we should talk to VMC about hiring me as the Exec Director, we could have the Society AND the Festival, and I believe we could triple our income this year! ... but that's just me. - Matt --- Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What is the most important social skill that emotionally intelligent people have? It is not what you say, but how you say it. Nobody has ever go to jail for being angry. It is what you did with your anger that got you in trouble. Feelings are internal reports of my emotional state. Judgment are external. Judgments are debatable and feelings are not. It is when you confuse your judgments with your feelings, that is when the trouble begins. For example, "I feel that you. . .." is a judgment. The word "that" makes it into a judgment. Posted by Myron Doc Downing --- Dump run --- MFF post-mtg drama --- 7.2 HB2Bri 00:25 laughter is one of the keys to sanity! - mcp --- Hi. Ok, I'm the EQ Dude... my mission is to spread the good word about the wonder and joy of EQ to the world! I've been teaching about it for 25 years or so, and I've writing about it that whole time. Twenceforth, I have gobs and gobs or writing (800 blog postings, log file over 300,000 lines long, and 20-25 handwritten notebooks). I write it so fast, I don't even read it, no less have time to type it, and post it, so people can actually USE it. Most of it is new EQ concepts, thoughts, tips, generalities, funny sayings, quotes, websites, cool phrases or wording I stole from others, sometimes entire web pages (which you can skip), etc. Some are my life notes ("up at 00:25, ESPN, Tiger, Giants and Spain won, Lance Armstrong officially accused"), some is my feelings ("sad about gym closing, cried, let it go... how to exercise?"), copies of emails sent, testimonials, quotes. My thought is that we would start backwards, with the most recent stuff first (which, I hope, are my best thots, anywayz). It's all about Emotional Intelligence (EQ), emotional healing, getting in touch with our right-brain feelings, add that info to our good, solid, left-brain logic, to make better decisions in life, and live a fuller, happier life! It's profound, it's simple, it's all natural, and it's all Free, inside of us ("The last great adventure on earth is the journey inside ourselves"). It also changes lives (I've personally SEEN it change over 2,000), saves lives (yep, some of them, too), enhance lives, bring more happiness and success, AND it could help reduce crime, mental health, suicides, divorces, addictions, violence, maybe even war... oh AND it helps in business, and school, and earning money, and success, and fulfillment... and so on. I believe EQ will be our next major foundational shift in consciousness, and we're right on the cutting edge of what I believe will be one of the biggest industries in the next 10 years! So, that's how I talk, and I'm pretty fired up. Oh, and one super-important thing... I believe it is the responsibility of those who know, to teach those who do not know... and it is our responsibility to Get ThEiR Attention, and KeeP it. I want to do that thru Love and Kindness, and FUN! I believe the laughter is one of the keys to sanity. --- ---------------- mcp ------------- You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be. ---------------- mcp ------------- Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. We Always Have Choices! We can see the world as happy or sad, as dangerous or wonderous, as scary or an adventure. We can see ourselves as victims or powerful, as leaders, followers or sabateurs, as a giver or taker We can love or hide, find peace or hatred, spread joy or pain, live for self or others. We can choose how we want to live our lives, from this day forward. - mcp ------------ mcp ----------- One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone. --- Jobs on Sologig http://www.sologig.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/RecommendedJobs.aspx?radius=30&latlon&job_did=J3J2KN6SBLD8247ZDR5&sortBy=locationup&iPath=JEJX --- 03:56 Hi Nkechi! You can do it! Just the fact that your here, posting in an EQ group, means, to me, that you have at least taken some responsibility for your feelings. I hope you will allow my words, as well as Laurence's, to lift your spirits, knowing you are not alone. Best wishes. - Matt --- Courage, Bravery, Intention Focus Are you all over the place, and can't focus? IQ knowledge of EQ Concepts There are many specific lessons that need to be taught, heard, shown, practiced and understood. We need a clear, concise, informative EQ curriculum that teaches right-brain concepts to the left-brain... AND... right-brain concepts, models, pictures, feelings, exercises, experiences, examples. >> design EQ-101 as a class >> write a book proposal for EQ-101 (later) Individual Responsibility(key!) One of the few things we can control in life are ourselves -- our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, values and behaviours -- as no one can make us think or feel anything, without our permission. Knowing, and accepting that fact, puts us in control of our lives(!) while denying it leads to blaming, self-pity and anger. The only way to NOT be a victim -- of life, of others, of our past, of our own dysfunctions -- is to take 100% full complete and total responsibility for our heart, mind and soul. Self-Awareness Honesty - "The truth will set you free -- but first, it can make you miserable" After self-awareness comes honesty. When we delve into our past, and take a good hard, honest look at what we've done (and not proud of), the mistakes we've made, the commitments we've broken, and the people we've hurt, it's mighty hard on the ego. We want to minimalize and deny, but we know the real truth. Wayne Dyer said recently that the #1 goal of self-awareness is Accepting what is, Exactly how it is. Affectiveness - "?" Our level of feeling is critical to high EQ. We must be able to, and to ALLOW ourselves the luxury of crying, sometimes hard. For me, I cry most days, when something touches or inspires or saddens me, or a big change happens and I need to let go of the old to embrace the new (ex: I try to play racquetball 2-3x/wk for the last 15 years... but our local gym just closed down yesterday... most sad). I also allow my anger, in safe, non-disruptive, yet totally cleansing ways (I have this cool technique of sqeeeezing every muscle I can find in my body, and allow the tension, and GROWL, or yell, or whatever sounds wants to come out, as much as it wants, as long as it wants, which is usually 30-sec - 5 min.... sometimes, only 1 sec!... in fact, when I'm really clear, there are times when I can just REALIZE that I am angry, accept that, and let go of it, completely, without ever having to 'go there' and really feel it... it's cool) Processing FeelingsAbility to Feel & Heal - "Feelings expressed as intensely as they are felt will take place and are free to change." Have you deal with your past? If not, you're in for some big surprises. Who are you? How did you get to be who you are today? What feelings and belief systems from your past are still running your life in the present? If you ain't dealt with/faced/learned from at least some of the big traumatic events from childhood, you don't really know yourself all that well. Congruency - "Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn." How you actually feel = how you are generally perceived by others to feel. ex1: Talking about a pissed-off moment, while smiling = incongruent ex2: Sad, head down, face sagging, slumping shoulders, at a funeral = more congruent Do people misunderstand you? Do your underlying intentions get thru to others? Are you honest about what you feel, or do you put on a mask to hide the real you? Congruency is essential for communication/intimacy/friendships/family/relationships... all of it! If you feel nasty, you don't have to be an ass... but other than that, it seems to work better if people actually know, or can guess, what we're feeling. Commitments Where is your Level of Commitment (see chart)? Do you live only for yourself, or one other, 2, 5, your fam, your team, your city, your country, the world? People who reach higher tend to feel more fulfilled. Language of Feelings Learn it, speak it, be it, live it. Feelings spoken here!! "I" statements, responsible responses, asking for what we want, training others how to be with us, clarity, empathy, SUAL, body language, congruency, tone, no name-calling/put-downs/threats ever. Self-diagnosis Identification When you feel what you feel, do you know what you feel? Can you name the feeling you're feeling -- fear, sadness, anger, depression, powerless or peace, love, joy, satisfaction, gratitude, powerful, happy? We can 'boil down' most of our feelings and issues into a few basic ones... so if we can master these... Not be afraid of our fear, and deny our sadness, we can focus our anger, blast thru our depression, and 'process our feelings' from yucky to yummy. Self-Mastery Confidence Self-trust Self-like Self-Love Empathy Intimacy Clarity, over cleverness. --- I'm still torn on what's most important/urgent to accomplish in the meantime, I'll keep writing. --- VA App --- Chade-Meng Tan I'm looking forward to it, Josh! I saw another of Daniel Golemans' talks the other day, that was the best yet (see links below). Did you know the head of Google, Chade-Meng Tan, is an EQ nut, he wrote a book on it "Search Inside Yourself", teaches classes on it, and allows employees 20% of their time (1 full day/wk!) to do whatever they feel is best... so he spends his 20% trying to create world peace via EQ!! I wonder if he knows this group exists? Thanks for pulling this all together... this conference is a milestone in the EQ industry! Links below: Daniel Goleman speaks at Authors@Google http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k Google's Chade-Meng Tan 1. Wants You to Search Inside Yourself for Inner (and World) Peace, http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2985 2. How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Resolve Conflicts and Build Tough, Kind Leaders. http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2991 3. How Emotional Intelligence Helps the Bottom Line http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2992 SIYLI siy*li (noun) to be effective, compassionate and fun, especially at work “Alignment means aligning our work with our values and higher purpose. Half jokingly, I think of alignment as finding a way to never have to work again for the rest of your life and still get paid.” I'm looking forward to it, Josh! I saw another of Daniel Golemans' talks the other day, that was the best yet (see links below)! Did you know the head of Google, Chade-Meng Tan, is an EQ nut, who wrote a book called "Search Inside Yourself", and has developed a Leadership Institute based on EQ. Google allows employees 20% of their time (1 full day/wk!) to do whatever they feel is best... so he spends his 20% trying to create world peace via EQ!! I wonder if he knows this group exists? Thanks for pulling this conference together... it is a milestone in the EQ industry! Daniel Goleman: * Speaks at Authors@Google Google's Chade-Meng Tan: * Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute http://www.siyli.org/ * Wants You to Search Inside Yourself for Inner (and World) Peace, http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2985 * How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Resolve Conflicts and Build Tough, Kind Leaders. http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2991 * How Emotional Intelligence Helps the Bottom Line http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2992 SIYLI siy*li (noun) to be effective, compassionate and fun, especially at work “Alignment means aligning our work with our values and higher purpose. Half jokingly, I think of alignment as finding a way to never have to work again for the rest of your life and still get paid." 7 week EQ class 1. Train your attention mindfulness, skill to bring mind to calm and clear 2. Creating self-mastery quality of self-awareness, self-knowledge, eventually, self-mastery 3. Create mental habits kindness, want others to be happy everything changes people like you and want to cooperate with you. SIY Book http://www.amazon.com/Search-Inside-Yourself-Unexpected-Achieving/dp/0062116924/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334125968&sr=8-1 Happiness effects our performance both today and tomorrow... a 2-day effect Nice Guys Finish First! Emotionally Intelligence makes better leaders Navy study on effective leaders - those who are nice, and warm - positive, friendly, fun, communicative, cooperative Body Scan, bringing awareness to dif. parts of the body --- Is it that you're so convinced that it's so much work that you won't even try? or is it mistrust of me, personally, or professionally, that is keeping this line of thinking going. EQ teaches that behind every thought and feeling is a belief system (affectionately called BS). These are a protective mechanism that we peoples have which tries to protect us. Is it protection? from emotional pain or protection from emotions, in general? we are taught/told/beaten/implied/shown/modeled to NOT show our feelings. that is a BAD thing. Feelings are way very important! Behind every behaviour is at least one feeling, and at least one thought. --- 06:14 MFF Proposal #2, to Paul Paul, I'm appealing to you as the voice of reason here. I strongly believe this scenario offers the answer that everyone seeks, but frankly, I'm not understanding yet why our BOD isn't jumping at this chance. Is it just so ingrained in folks that a festival is tooo hard, and tooo time-consuming, and it can't be done without A & M, so don't even try... or is there something about me, personally, or professionally, that you or they don't trust or believe in... or both? What am I missing? MFF Problems: - Putting on a festival, of any size, is a very large, time-consuming task, that requires many hours and much effort. - The volunteer model is not working. BODs are overworked, disgruntled and dropping like flies. - MFF does not make enough to administer a full-time paid employee model. - Programming and quality is essential and must not be compromised - Fund-raising and marketing/PR are the two largest holes (and with the most potential) Solution1: - reduce the scope of the product, offer smaller, quarterly events - use only the turnkey venues so it's easier - get more folks to carry the heavy load - try not to complain too loudly - MFF is sustained Solution2: - Get VMC involved - Have them hire me as ED, using their money - Expand the scope of the product, without sacrificing quality - Scrap the volunteer model for managers, except for specific, less-time consuming tasks, like Box Office (BPT) and managing event Volunteers. - Pay for Programming - Create a permanent venue, and start up the society - MFF becomes county-wide, and possibly world-renowned Advantages to MFF: - No more disgruntled BODs - Have a partner with a budget, and not have to depend on the charity of a few critical donors - Marketing and PR would be significantly covered, plus any social media and local PR we can muster. - Programming can choose more films, and have a bigger impact - Fund development will still be required, but we'd have help, and a bigger name/area to attach marketing efforts to. Advantages to VMC: - Add one of the finest festivals around to their repetoire - Comes complete with a trained, local ED who will manage the interface between the two orgs - Bring film-lovers to town - Maybe even bring film-making to town! Risks: - I fail as a leader - Donations plummet and MFF doesn't make enough to cover expenses - VMC hates MFF, and severs the relationship - MFF hates VMC, and severs the relationship This solution seems optimal for all parties involved, based on last year's discussions with VMC. Following is wording from an email dated Dec. 22, 2011 from Michael: "After a long discussion about many aspects of the festival, Scott concluded that VMC was not in a position to give us the funding but that they could fund the positions that we are requesting funds for. Specifically the ED position. We would decide on who to hire and VMC would contract them specifically for the MFF. Scott believes he can get approval from board at Jan 10 meeting to pay for the staff. VMC would want from us a county-wide fest." My overall impression from the phone call is that Scott and VMC are very interested in seeing us continue but will not be giving us funding this year. Scott is willing to get creative and work with us to fund the positions we need. We discussed the stipend for Exec. Director and he felt strongly that our number of 10K was very low. $36,000 for 6 months full time and 6 months part time was the number he suggested. You did a budget for VMC that came out to about $70k, correct? Let's revisit that budget and do up a brief Business Plan to present to VMC. Paul, I heard you are leaving town soon. I don't want to push this too hard, but there is some urgency because I'm going to have to take another job pretty quickly. I have a phone interview this morning and another tomorrow in Redwood City for on-site contracts (which I do NOT want). If we could get a nod from VMC, at least that they're still interested in working something out between us, the MFF job would definitely be my #1 first choice. What do you need from me in order to feel comfortable asking VMC to hire me? Thanks. Please let's talk, today. - Matt --- Sharon Davis puddingcreek@sbcglobal.net 561 N. Whipple St., FB The snapshot is fine, but I'd like a bit more detail, please. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: June invoice From: Sharon Davis Date: Sun, July 01, 2012 2:25 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Here you go Matt. Peachtree doesn’t like to export invoices so we’ll do it this way :) My mailing address is 561 N. Whipple St., FB Thanks! --- Elle Jay Could you drop off the computer and files before you go, please? Karen, Teri, Linda, Gloria, Kelly... anyone we know, really... should take up much room, right? Thanks! Let me know what you can arrange. --- 0931 http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcalcasa.org%2Fnisvs%2F&h=oAQEoCAnRAQG0qrFmDbqJg4PZabj1SePihxtw4D7UA1lRMA&enc=AZPdG7IKobNsZbw4E6wLCqDTy60RB3NKJcODuHZJykW12UuWr_H1oXLtu-shm5McBpDNOD8EG5DA2B5y3Cvxw7zA The study reveals that nearly 1 in 2 women (44.6%) and 1 in 5 men (22.2%) experience sexual violence other than rape throughout their lifetime. Approximately 1.3 million women reported being raped in the 12 months prior to taking the survey, --- 09:38 "Dawn Ferreia" Hi. I opened my big mouth at the last volunteer meeting to see if anyone wanted help out with a Project Sanctuary float at the July 4 parade, and you guys were nice enough to offer your support. However, I didn't get any further than that, so we don't have the help we need to pull this off. Twenceforth, the parade float is hereby cancelled for this year. Maybe we'll try again at the Paul Bunyan parade. Thanks much for your willingness to help out. Take care. - Matt --- 0959 By the way, Paul, I think that Steve's first email was harsh, yet honest, and was a private denial of our offer, so I don't have a big problem with it. But I also think his second response, to outsiders, especially Keith, was outta line and unnecessary. He pushed some red-hot buttons. Can we talk about this before sending your response to him? I have a phone interview at 10, a client meeting in town at 11, and my granddaughter's birthday party at the beach at 1. Can I call you about 3 or 4 today? Thanks for your consideration. Although the other board members are "pretty sure" we can't pull this off, if you are willing have another run at VMC with me, I believe they'll follow your lead. - Matt --- terminals POS terminials for financial institutions CRM, on SaleForce.com Sac and Louisville --- 11-12 to Jerry Murphy's to customize his BillQuick 12-1 to Safeway, with AK, Cassie(!) and Charles 1-4 Pudding Creek beach for Bri's birthday Bri, Karlie, Katelynn, Venus, Annalissa AK, Sarah, Travis, __ Autumn, Aaron, Wesley Tracy and Sean and Cabo in "their" motorhome! pkp, from work 3 doggies beautiful day, got some sun finally. feet in river and ocean(!) Bri and girls went swimming dogs, burgers, mac salad, 4-5 Talk to Paul Kemp re: MFF and VMC not yet. Wait a few weeks for bed tax to pass/not pass. 5-6 here How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one--but the lightbulb has to really want to change... - Lori Hoadley 6-6:30 nappage 7 Euc hunting --- 7.2 4-5 Paul, by phone he talked mostly, I mostly sual VMC, Scott (not good), Hal, Willits, Michael, Ann $70k offer work for Scott everyone hates VMC tracy kay, letter to movers and shakers that court, too. --- 7.3 each way I go is blocked or worse, it's done, then undone I got those huge paying jobs I was approved to teach EQ to the veterans at UWMC I have taught ND successfully for 25 years I have had 82 pc contracts I have written 800 blog posts I am certified to Test EQ SQL Entries Levels Take Responsibility for your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions -- all of them! Walt July 12, 6 at Silvers AK MAC error change Me.PAR_TYPE to Me.type2 in 2 places compiles 937-5818 MainMenu.OnLoad still crashes. Maximize, only? --- 09:16 YES!! Good one. Does this apply to the yucky pictures in our heads, too? are we holding on to them? how do we let go? Our limitations aren’t holding us… we’re holding them. - Larry Hawks! --- Yes, I agree that people who are happier consume less! Shopping sometimes can help us feel better, and sometimes worse. The cool part is that we too have found that the opposite is true -- that people who are already happy (higher EQ) get along fine, with less. When we shop, we buy smart, appreciate what we 'receive' and are happy to hand over our money so someone else can use it. We call 'em Pervasive Positives... finding the good in all that we do, think, feel and have. more dancing more singing more crying more hugging more courage more bold less bling less ego less fear EQRocks! --- 00:55 (sorry, the float ain't gonna happen, I'm afraid. Those poor ladies at the office are too swamped to take on another project. With the cutback in services like police, sheriffs, and hospital staff, and mental health is almost completely gone, they're being called on to handle more and more... and they're exhausted. If you believe in the mission of Project Sanctuary -- to try to end domestic violence and sexual assault in Mendo county -- consider lending a hand, in Fort Bragg or Ukiah. They can always use assistance in the office -- they often get slammed with walk-ins, while working legal cases and restraining orders, advocating at the hospital and offering free counseling and trainings -- they do everything they can, but it's only 4 ladies in the FB office, and they're draggin'. Please also spread the word that whenever someone needs to talk, their crisis line, covered by volunteers, is open 24/7 at 964-HELP. Paula's starting her last Crisis Counselor certification training in a few weeks... I did it... she really opened my eyes to the heart of this horrendous problem, plus she teaches powerful life skills, and communication/active-listening tools and so we can actually BE THERE for folks in need, in an empowering way. Consider volunteering, even an hour here and there. Sorry again about the float... we'll try again at the Paul Bunyan parade.) --- 01:04 Hang in there, Jack. This was a life-changer for all of us, but your family was totally rocked! The gym was such a focal point of ya'll's lives, and such a positive, healthy place for you and Brandi AND the boys to hang out and just be yourselves. Plus you both work right across the street... how perfect was that?!? sorry, dude/dudette. wicked bummer, indeed. We're all adjusting, and it ain't always fun... we're not ok, and that's ok. My latest shocker is that now I gotta start taking showers at home... feels strange! Remember, we gotta feel it to heal it. --- 01:07 HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lisa!! Lisa you rock! You're the BADdest female player I've ever had the honor of playing with. You can rocket that ball into the corner with such power... boom! Sorry we can't play today to celebrate. Enjoy your special day as the whole country gathers to celebrate your birthday! --- 01:10 I like your new profile pic, Karen Kelly! Looks like the 'real you', ey?!? We should all do that... change our pic to one of us cracking up laughing! LOL! --- Joshua Freedman ?53 hours 'till it starts... 6,805 signups so far! 24/EQ: The Global Emotional Intelligence Conference - Free Online! www.6seconds.org Top experts on emotions-leadership-learning streaming live to your desk for 24 hours from around the globe. No charge, but registration is required. Unlike · · Unfollow Post · Share · 12 hours ago You and Jenny Vestal Wiley like this. 01:16 Matt Perelstein Wow! Way to go, Joshua and all at Six Seconds!! You guys are bringing EQ to the world -- EQRocks! 2 seconds ago · Like --- The ideal business is a 100% referral business. If you're not on your way there, look at the way you're cultivating relationships and examine how often you ask people for referrals. Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Have faith. Morning comes every day; the sunrise does not fail, nor the sunset. --- 0200 LI-EIN (fun group thread...) "America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination, and unbeatable determination to do the job at hand." - Harry S. Truman (let us build a brave new world based on courage, conscious thought, empassioned feelings and the powerful connection of all people, one to another!) "America is a tune...It must be sung together." - Gerald Stanley Lee --- PP = 2154 (nice!) --- 02:22 Gwen Hi. The mods look Great... thanks! and congrats on figuring out an easier way! Wouldn't the HTML for the Gift Cert PP buttons be the same as all the other buttons, just with a different item_name and item_number? Below's the code for the Half-Pound Gift Certificate: does that help? Thanks again. - Matt
--- 05:43 Hey! Got your VM... glad things are better and the flames are dying down... wow. Sorry about your fishin' holes. Best of luck with the JavaScript... that's the one you said you were excited about taking, right? You've come a loooong way, in a few short years, baby! Super proud of you. How many certs do you have now -- would you make a list for me? Still looking for work. There are jobs, but also lots of applicants. I'll land one soon. Drove to SF (as 'downtown' as you can get) and back yesterday (350 mi.) for an interview for creating complex diagnostic data sets of medical health plan data using SQL Server stored procedures. Went well, we'll see. ... have another in Sac (400 mi. RT) on Monday. Of course, I'd strongly prefer a telecommute job... and strongly, strongly prefer work in teaching EQ, NOT a computer job! Made a bid to become Exec. Director of the Mendo Film Festival (I'm on their Board), but no luck yet. Today we're going to a funky parade in Mendo at noon, then off to a cool beach about 10 mi. N of here for swimming, fireworks (the cops let us) and overnight tent camping with the grandkiddos... should be fun. How'z the energy there? Are people celebrating the 4th, or hiding away to lick their wounds? I'm sure the fire changes everything! What a shame. Did Focus on the Family or any of the big religious places get burnt? Glad you're safe and well. Happy 4th to you and Mark! Love always, - da bro Hey Matt! I hope all is well with you guys. Thanks for the offer. I would like to come visit you sometime under different circumstances. This wildfire is of epic proportions thousands are still displaced, 397 homes burned and some of our best fish'en holes are ruined. They may be starting to get a handle on the fire although it's only 15% contained, but the weather yesterday has helped. I don't think we'll have to evacuate, however the winds may change directions to make the smoke and burning embers a problem. I tried to volunteer at the Red Cross and Care&Share but there are so many wanting to help that people are just standing around in the sun and I'm not down with that at all. In the mean time, I'm learning JavaScript. I'll take the certification exam in late July early August. This exam I'm taking on my own cause I am done with my classes and the new semester doesn't start till September. Also I took JavaScript at UofP but they didn't offer the certification itself so I'm going a little backwards to move forward. I figure if I can start learning programing concepts it will help with some of the more complex languages I need to learn in the future. I'll talk to you soon, Wendy --- 05:48 THE 11 CONVERSATIONS http://www.brunswickgroup.com/files/html/brunswickreviewIssue6/the-11-conversations.html It is said that there are only seven plots in drama. We think there are 11 big conversations about the challenges facing the world today – and that corporates need to join these conversations. (PDFs available for each) 1. Environment and Resources 2. Health 3. Education and Skills 4. Communities 5. Energy & Climate Change 6. Consumer Culture 7. Population 8. Security 9. Communication 10. Human Rights 11. Global Economy Each of The 11 Conversations is about finding responses to the world’s big challenges. The stories we’ve heard in the preceding pages show that business has a positive contribution to make – since only business has the skills and resources to really make an impact. A number of leading voices are making the case that business is part of the solution, not part of the problem. --- EQ Literacy EQ Healing EQ Language EQ Concepts EQ Training EQLiteracy.com/EQLiteracy.info 7.4.2013 EQersRock.com/EQersRock.info 7.4.2013 EQLanguage.com/EQLanguage.info 7.4.2013 EQinSchools.com/EQinSchools.info 7.4.2013 $34.20 for 8x --- “Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn't fit in with the core belief.” - Frantz Fanon RIGHT-o, Karen ... good quote.. and a critical concept in emotional healing! We too have found cognitive (and affective!) dissonance, in working with people on their underlying Belief Systems (what I affectionately call BS). As a child, when we make huge, generalized decisions about life -- like how bad we are, how we don't fit in, how unlovable we are (and other BS) -- we seem to need to be RIGHT about those decisions... so we set out to PROVE them to be true, over and over again, for the rest of our lives, without knowing we're doing it. (BS created by 5-year-olds run many adults' lives!) Then if/when we hear the opposite -- like "I love you", and "thanks", and "Join us" -- the message is uncomfortable, and counter to our strong BS beliefs, and therefore "wrong", and rejected. Twenceforth: a. We need to give ourselves permission to be wrong... it's good to be wrong sometimes. I thought I was unlovable, but thankfully, I was mistaken. b. We have to deal with the Feelings around the BS... the feelings that the child felt when the BS was first created ... often a trauma, but could be any hurt/anger/sadness/pain... must be identified, felt, and released. The unexpressed feelings are the 'glue' that hold the BS in place, and keep the negative messages alive and active in our unconscious mind. We gotta feel it to heal it! c. Then we can change the BS to whatever we want (yeehaa!). We made 'em in the first place, so we can re-make 'em. It's so fun to watch people 'change their minds' and re-decide some of their core life decisions -- "Hey, maybe I'm not so bad.", "wow, they actually want me to be with them... maybe I do fit in", "I can start loving myself" -- to consciously make themselves become more positive and empowering and inclusive, and joyous. d. Now, we spend the rest of our lives PROVING beyond a shadow, that we are right about our NEW Belief Systems... that we ARE lovable, we DO fit in, we ARE powerful, and clean, and worthy, and good... very, very good! We call it Emotional Processing, and it works wonders in changing lives... simply, profoundly, inexpensively and often permanently. EQRocks! - 6 Seconds has a set of cards - Think - Feel - Act. I use these with people with this blockage and then it leads to them questioning "why" they behave that way and what the belief is. - Yep, I have those cards, too. Our beliefs run the show, often without us knowing it. Using EQ to examine and change our beliefs puts us in control of our lives! --- Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big... because to them, it's all big stuff. - Catherine Wallace --- A child can teach an adult three things: - To be happy for no reason - To always be busy with something - To know how to demand with all his might that which he desires. - Paulo Coelho (saved jpg) --- No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. --- 06:50 working with Robin's developer Shujaat --- 07:21 Reporting Analyst, Position ID: JL228 Hi Jasen, jasenl@tts-consulting.com As you'll see from my attached resume, I am very qualified for this position. Please consider submitting my resume to the client. Thanks much. Happy 4th! - Matt --- 7.4 HB2USA --- 7.5 Hi Chelle -- Nice chatting with again, esp. after years! Thanks for the call. I am VERY qualified for this engagement! Resume is attached. Especially see Caltrans and Dept. of Parks and Rec engagements where I/we did a very similar conversion process for MS office apps. (more detail on Caltrans job...) On a team of 3, we helped Caltrans (CA DOT) upgrade their 22,000+ users from Office 2003 to 2007. Doesn't sound hard, but: a) their workers reside in over 600 locations, 40% disconnected laptops, with 15 decentrallized Districts, b) they have literally millions of files (Access, Excel and Word) that need to be converted, or at least, work in 2007, and c) if you'll recall, 2007 was when the dreaded Ribbon appeared, freaking out MOST users who were used to the Menu bar. We scanned / reported on every one of their servers using OMPM, I wrote 10+ user-conversion guides, and then help users convert their many multi-user apps to the latest version of Access , Excel and Word. The $60/hr rate is acceptable for a W-2 position. Would Experis be able to help with travel expenses at all? Please let me know what else you need from me. I look forward to working with you on this project! - Matt 916-599-8597 --- PP = -173 USPS --- 5 - 6pm (R02) Joshua Freedman and Peter Salovey Who, what, when EQ IQ vs. EQ. not opposites or opposed Cognitive + Emotional optimal way to measure is thru skills calling down, psyching up Dataset of 20,000 people Assessment Noble Goals - 6pm (R03) Chip Conley, 250M in Rev, 3500 employees Chief Emotions Officer, CEO Abe Maslow(!) Job / Survival / Money / Base Motivation Career / Recognition / Succeed / Loyalty Calling / Meaning / Transform / Inspiration No layoff policy focus on the impact, not the task Viktor Frankl between stimulus and response lies a space in our space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Victor Frankl "Man's Search for Meaning" respond, not just react Despair = Suffering - Meaning Great leaders create psycho-hygene when everyone's nervous and anxious it's time to bathe together, in such as way, to bring catharsis address anxiety, fear, anger, whatever Gratitude = wanting what you have Happiness = Wanting what you have --------------------------------- Having what you want Happiness = Practive Gratitude -------------------------- Pursue Gratification #1 emotion at work, world-wide Anxiety expect the worst, lessens disappointment Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness emotional balance sheet 4 columns 1. What do I know (something that's making you anxiety) 2. What do I not know 3. What is it that I can influence 4. What is it I cannot influence 75% have more in Col. 1 bad news: package it asap, deliver it asap Thriving = Frequency of the Positive ---------------------------------- Frequency of the Negative webinar: http://tinyurl.com/24EQmain last 10 min of meeting give example of someone who deserves recognition just stating the word you are feeling gives you 10-15 IQ points. "Connected" The most neglected fact in business... "We are all human" few of us went to emotion school. never taught anxiety, jealousy, joy, happiness, etc. (18x) Harvest Business Review Jan/Feb issue "The Value of Happiness" - how employee well-being drives profits empiracal evidence that most reliable and sustainable ways to give market share growth and profitability academic and business schools are embracing that EQ is value and culture like Zappos, $1B sold to Amazon, mostly due to culture, example for Amazon for learning their culture and emotional intelligence learn from little company to show big Depression is same word for emotional disaster AND financial disaster "Firms of Endearment" Emotionally resinent, stakeholder model, better profits short-term, be a jerk, make money MYTH: Emotional Intelligence means "being nice" sometimes! not highest values of a leader so much more... creating environment for people to live up to their potential --- 6:37 Hi Marja! See you Monday. Have a good weekend. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Access Meeting From: "Registrar" Date: Thu, July 05, 2012 1:15 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Hi there Matt. Here's your reminder for our little meeting at 5pm on Monday for Access at the Art Center. thanks again! Marja Liisa Kay Registrar Mendocino Art Center 707-937-5818 ext. 10 register@mendocinoartcenter.org --- 7: Enhance your coaching practice (200x) with Marilyn Jorgenson we support transformational positive change by harnessing the --- 7.6 06:45 up, watched Roger Federer beat Jokavick(sp?) in Wimbeldon semis pkp return call to head-hunter 08:36 Sharon Davis Hi. Sorry to be a pain, but I am still looking for a bit more detail as I need to account for any bills I incur. The invoices just say "PR", no dates nor specifics. I remember getting 4 emails connecting me to radio shows (3 of which I've done), then an email suggesting I get on Ricki Lake. What was the 1.15 hours for? Thanks! - Matt --- "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon --- 08:54 Hi Jay, Any more news from FI$Cal (about getting paid) or about the CDCR Report Writer or Training jobs? Thanks much. - Matt --- IQ testing Measures: 1. Verbal-Logical: Comprehension of similar words or opposites, analogies, relationships and arguments. 2. Mathematical-Numerical: Comprehension of mathematical equations, patterns and numerical relationships. 3. Visual-Spatial: Comprehension of graphical patterns, analogies and visualizations. --- Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal intent on throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burnt. Everything you've ever done, every person you've ever met, every experience you've ever had, is a part of who you are today. Adding interesting layers to your being, and colorful depths to your soul. Everything needed to be as it was, So you could grow as you did and do. --- 09:33 Hi. Thanks! That's what I needed. I did NOT say/imply that you were ineffective... I just needed to report the time to my 'angel' investor who will be paying the bill. I was concerned that my question might be taken that way, but it is NOT what I meant. Please Sharon, I am not questioning your integrity (only the level of Peachtree's billing detail). I will be happy to pay the full amount of the invoice, and I do appreciate your help! no offense. - Matt --- 09:47 GC [b]GOOD NEWS![/b] :clap: Yesterday, we had to cut some more Euc trees down to 'thin' them out... so we have gobs of the most beautiful fresh leaves again, that I cannot usually reach. Therefore, the [b]DDOOUUBBLLEE Leaves sale[/b] is back on for this weekend only! From now thru Sunday, 7/8, any order with Leaves (fresh or dried!) will get DOUBLE the amount of leaves ordered, for free. Pics of beautiful, mature Euc Banana Leaves: http://www.photobucket.com/EucBananaLeaves Remember to let me know you saw this announcement on GC and want the extra leaves. Thanks. Last chance. :dance: - Matt --- Michael Santa Rosa 206- Career Insurance Sales Agents NOT! --- 10:55 jay FI$cal - no, and don't claim paying 54%, will pay me 70% $1800, 7700 owed submitted to CDCR SOMS replacement trainers --- SQL Server Test est Results for: Matt Perelstein Company Name : Kforce (San Francisco F&A Flex 2) Test Administrator/Recruiter's Email : kshanley@kforce.com Test Name : SQL Entry Level Test Date : 6/7/2012 Elapsed Time : 00:48:01 Questions Correct : 24 out of 36 Percent Correct : 67% Percentile Ranking : 70 Global Average : 55% Test Description This SQL Entry Level assessment is designed to assess a test taker's understanding of basic SQL concepts. The test is a mixture of syntax rules as well as practical code examples. Topics covered by this test include select statements, basic DDL (Data Definition Language) statements, functions (single-row and group), joins and subqueries. This assessment is appropriate for test takers that are beginners with less than a year of experience with SQL. --- HeartMath Quick Coherance Steps - Heart-focused Breathing - Activate a Positive Feeling strengthens a muscle by using it can effect a shift in consciousness more natural heart waves, day and night create a more heart-based world >> Debbie and Jeff Goelitz transforming stress transforming anger research papers Stanford, heart attacks, emergent lowering Blood pressure 6-7x min. Bio, neuro heart waves, like heart rate monitor pulse data into heartrate a can See what your heart is doing/feeling learn to regulate ourselves, Stress happens --- Academic Job.com 888-900-5417 --- offer 1 --- Matt Perelstein with wife, kids and grandkids, moved from Sacramento to the coast of Northern California found property that is literally covered with trees: redwoods, firs and Eucalyptus. We then found out, kinda by accident, that pet birds and sugar gliders LOVE Eucs (until then, we had just burned our eucs as they are also make great firewood). Now, 7 years later, over 1,000 pet owners have placed orders for fresh eucalyptus, we do a bit of wholesale/drop-shipping trade, and we even provide Eucs to a few zoos, rescue operations and breeders across the US, and beyond! We can't live off it, but it's a wonderful side-business, making peeps and pets happy, Eucalyptusly. Birds like 'em, and they're healthy and all, but sugar gliders go bonkers over Eucalyptus -- so it's been fun! --- 1:40 Facebook Eucs Description: We sell Eucs by the pound, so you can mix and match whatever part of the Eucs you want -- branches, leaves, chew sticks, seed pods or bark! Just order the poundage you want (1/2, 1, 2, or 5 lbs), let me know what you'd like me to cut, and boom, it's yours! If questions, write or call me. Here are the choices: Branches: up to 6' long and up to 3" thick - beautiful smooth 'skin' (bark) that pets love to chew on and thru - with or without leaves on - mostly straight Leaves: (choices) - Oval-shaped Leaves: new growth, small trees or lower on the tree (and easier for me to reach), grayish-green, varying shapes, -- or -- - Banana-shaped Leaves: same trees, but higher up, more mature, on taller trees, more water content, beautiful solid green coloring, consistent half-moon shape - Fresh Cut Leaves: I hunt 'em, cut 'em and pack 'em on the same day or at worst the next day, they're supple, colorful, connected by thin, flexible-to-rigid branch-material, in sprigs of 2-12, usually bagged - Dried Leaves: Aged at least 3 months, crisp, super-light weight, used for potpourri, medicinal purposes (boiled, vaporized, in dog/cat bed, etc.), and aroma/massage therapy. (I put at least 2 drieds at the bottom of every bag of fresh, so you can try 'em out -- the aroma is so pleasant) ... and, some pets actually prefer their Euc leaves and/or branches after they've dried out. Chew Sticks: - These are cut from the small, connecting branches in between where leaves grow. They are usually 4-8" long, clean, straight and leaf-less. They're very light, so gliders and birds can easily lift, carry, play and build with them. (watch for them falling thru the base of open-bottom cages.) Seeds and Seed Pods: - Seeds: FREE seeds with any order (just ask), for planting, indoors (I'll send planting instructions, too). Trim 'em and feed 'em to your pet(s) as the trees grow, or try putting them outside. If they can survive your climate, you could put me outta business! :) - Seed Pods: (aka Buttons, nuts, lunar landers). 1"-2" diameter, acorn-like shell that houses 10-40 tiny seeds. Some gliders and birds like them, and they help keep fleas away from dogs and cats. Happy to throw some in for you, if you wanna try them. Bark: - Euc Bark: comes off the trees in long, thick strips. Some sugar gliders like to chew on fresh bark... they tend to shred it. (In my opinion, Branches are your best deal, as they include leaves, chew sticks, and bark, and you can easily cut 'em smaller, if you wish). --- PKP's new Re-fi at Chase was: 2065 now: 1398 Bal: 236k / now 238k, as July payment is NOT due! due: Aug 25 AND HFC is down from 500 AND Getting $500 from Mike Biaggi on Monday (for doing nothing, not even my trees!) BUT MH3 = 668 AND we lost over $6k from MV/FI$Cal this morning --- 2:17 LJ stuff! LM --- Thank you for taking this test. For interpretation of your test score, please contact your Test Administrator. Test Results for: Matt Perelstein Company Name : Kforce (San Francisco F&A Flex 2) Test Administrator/Recruiter's Email : kshanley@kforce.com Test Name : SQL Entry Level Test Date : 6/7/2012 Elapsed Time : 00:49:18 Questions Correct : 25 out of 36 Percent Correct : 69% Percentile Ranking : 70 Global Average : 55% --- subscribers +1, -1 you choose fear. the fundamental differences do not fit. I want an adult partner, and a sexual partner --- 9:48 LI-EIN The ability to FEEL to the depth of his being. The caring to LOVE as fully as his heart will allow. The strength to CRY when necessary. The fortitude to FIGHT for good, and against evil. The huevos to be ANGRY and stand up for what's right, and pure, and good. The wisdom to use that ANGER to focus, and motivate, or to tear-down or destroy, when it's time. The sensitivity to UNDERSTAND others, Having empathy for females and brotherhood among men. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. - Amen --- 10:14 Wendy Hi. Thanks for the list of certs... 7x already... nice going! Congrats on the JavaScript stuff... I know you were looking forward to that one, right? Enjoy! I had to take a SQL Server exam today for the job I went to SF for the other day. Didn't do that well (67%), so I retook it (69%), and I'll retake it again on Monday. Any suggestions? I'm even using MSDN and still missed 9 outta 36. On one, NONE of the answers are correct according to MSDN, but I'm not sure where I'm off by that many. Oh well... I don't really want that job, anywayz... it's 80% onsite, and it's a long-term employee position in downtown SF... tough commute. If I can pull it off, the ED job would be great because it should pay nicely, and I can do it from home. I gotta net $5k/mo. just to cover our bills, so that's what I'm asking for. It turns out that there's a non-profit here called VisitMendocino.com who is funded by the hotel bed tax to bring tourists to Mendo county... well, we (the MFF) bring LOTS of people to Mendo, so they're willing to 'fund us'... but not enough to make it a full-time paid position. However, the bed tax is up for a vote in a week or two, and it may very well DOUBLE, giving VMC an influx of another few $M/year! Twenceforth, they will have no trouble funding MFF for an Exec Dir... and I'm lobbying for them to hire Me. It's a long shot, but quite possible. The problem is timing... they're in no rush, but I am, and assholiness, as the boss is very unpopular with the locals. Paula was just able to refi our 1st, down $600, and our 2nd, down $500, for 8 months. Yay and yippee! Also this rich dude here is putting a walkway across his 500 acres, and he's using MY Eucs to do so. They've now come cut/bought 460 of 'em, the tall, skinny, few leaves at the top ones that don't get any sun (and you can't even notice they're gone!). Anyway, nice surprise, and wonderful timing for the extra cash! The problem is, as I've mentioned, is that I am looking for work as a computer dude, but I don't want to BE a computer dude anymore... I want to be an EQ dude, but know not (yet) how to make the $$ work. Not giving up, tho... I'll get 'er done... it's too important to not do it. Happy 6th (our Scott's birthday). - Matt --- CW206673589US Sorry, I couldn't get the shrink-wrapper working for the longest time... I sent you a bunch of leaves, and some very nice branches with leaves on. --- So, what themes emerged Josh? Where do you think we are with EQ, and what's next? How can the rest of us get involved in furthering EQ throughout the world? The way I see it, EQ is still in an infancy stage... but that infant is crying to be noticed! There is now GOBS of empirical evidence / proof in every area that shows the multitude of benefits for focusing on, teaching and living an EQ-centered life. As an industry, we're still in a sales mode, and will be for some time... but more are realizing the impact and potential. Once we get their attention, next will be HOW. We need a common language, some standards, and industry norms, values and boundaries. We, here in the FB-EIN, as well as the LI-EIN, could start the ball rolling. The 6 Sec model is good, but it's not great. seems kinda random, to me, or it wouldn't be so hard to remember. Competencies are good, but there are critical pieces of knowing yourself, and navigating emotions, that are missing. --- Praise immediately for a job well done in front of others and chide for a job wrongly done privately. --- 11:00 http://unemployedfaith.com/the-inspiration#comment-869 Way to go, Rosann. It sounds like a wonderful book and a very important subject! Thanks for doing this. Best of luck with it all! - Matt pp 'til midnight... --- 7.7 00:05 up to bed --- LI-EIN mcp testimonial Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What is Masculine Emotional Intelligence (MEI) for you? What unique traits does a man process when he is really a man? Matt! If you planned to make women go aghast and cry, then you should know that you succeeded.. :) I CRIED after reading your note. Wow such beautiful thoughts! Thank you so much for sharing them. Highly spiritual indeed. Posted by Kalika Eriksson --- 5:16 I am especially well-suited for this position! Please contat me so we can it submitted. --- 7.9 Monday still no work! --- 09:50 PP = 2,012 DDOOUUBBLLEE leaves sale didn't work well this time! -90 USPS (35 for a package to UK) -32 Silvers (with pkp, but she left in a huf, when I took a call from Ricci) -9 Safeway (after the 4th, with Bri and Jessica) --- A man that gives to others grows in so many ways. ---------------- mcp ---------------- If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way ---------------- mcp ---------------- In depression, nothing matters. In sadness, everything matters.” - Gloria Steinem --- 11:43 75% on KForce test... third try. Score Report Thank you for taking this test. Test Results for: Matt Perelstein Company Name : Kforce (San Francisco F&A Flex 2) Test Administrator/Recruiter's Email : kshanley@kforce.com Test Name : SQL Entry Level Test Date : 9/7/2012 Elapsed Time : 00:54:00 Questions Correct : 27 out of 36 Percent Correct : 75% Percentile Ranking : 80 Global Average : 55% --- Like my mother does by Lauren Aliana (AI 2011) http://www.vevo.com/watch/lauren-alaina/like-my-mother-does/GBE431100053 --- FB-EP Hi Brittany! Just go to http://www.EucProducts.com to order. Remember, seeds are FREE with any order (just ask) -- if you want to try and put me outta business! :) --- Rebecca O'Donnell commented on "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change:" - Inspirational video by Brené Brown. Does the content resonate... My shame tried to kill me. Literally. Calling it an epidemic is quite accurate. It does work the same way a deadly virus does: initial invasion, slow spread, complete inundation, destruction. Self love and clear, unbroken thinking is the antidote. Don't be discouraged that the cure takes time. Shame took a long time to get a person to a shattered state and it'll take awhile to flow back together into a whole. Being impatient because you're not "all better NOW" is the same as being mad that you can't get up and dance the day after you were hit by a bus. Healing is a soft, slow art. ------- mcp ----------- Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do. - Denis Waitley ------- mcp ----------- There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. - Denis Waitley ------- mcp ----------- Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley --- xCathleen Grant, ND --- Uploading pics of Final RB tourney to FB group --- applying for mass jobs! Reboot: EQ links Heartmath Research http://www.heartmath.org/research/research-library/research-library.html The Economics of Well-Being Harvard Business Review http://hbr.org/2012/01/the-economics-of-well-being/ar/1 Take the course http://www.siyli.org/take-the-course/ People with high emotional intelligence are more easily duped by fakers http://ht.ly/1O8hTO Dan Goleman talks to Google http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k --- Amazing Trick Pool skills http://www.youtube.com/embed/AeiEiSKAp5M?rel=0 How to spice up your Facebook page http://www.wordtracker.com/academy/spice-up-facebook?utm_source=Subscribers&utm_campaign=b1c24bf7c2-Newsletter_158&utm_medium=email 28 ND pics from Linda Wall saved all to Pics\Peoples http://newdirections2012.shutterfly.com/7#15 --- 1:36 AT&T May 125.57, $5 late fee, past due June 121, due 7.17, $5 late fee after 19th paid $125.57, MCP DU (V) Conf# 1R024VD8 International Calls 4.89 for 1 call 5.99 unlimited Canada+, or Mexico, or generic and lowest other countries --- >> apply to VBA Developer / Analyst in SF Aparna.sreeraman@modis.com Sologig jobs http://www.sologig.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/RecommendedJobs.aspx?radius=30&latlon&job_did=J3J2KN6SBLD8247ZDR5&sortBy=locationup&iPath=JEJX --- VA http://www.ivaa.org/?page=SubmitRFP Hi. Ok, I'm the EQ Dude... my mission is to spread the good word about the wonder and joy of emotional intelligence (EQ) to the world! My wife and I have been teaching about EQ for over 25 years or so, and I've writing about it that whole time. Twenceforth, I have gobs and gobs or writing (800 blog postings, log file is over 300,000 lines long, and I have 20-25 handwritten notebooks). I write it so fast, I don't even read it, no less have time to type it, and post it, so people can actually USE it. My thought is that we would start backwards, with the most recent stuff first (which, I hope, are also my best thots/concepts). It's all about Emotional Intelligence (EQ), emotional healing, getting in touch with our right-brain feelings to add to our left-brain logic, to make better decisions in life! It's profound, it's simple, it's all natural, and it's all Free, inside of us. It also changes lives (I've personally SEEN it change over 2,000), saves lives (yep, some of them, too), enhance lives, bring more happiness and success, AND it could help reduce crime, mental health, suicides, divorces, addictions, violence, maybe even war... oh AND it helps in business, and school, and earning money, and success, and fulfillment... and so on. I believe EQ will be our next major foundational shift in consciousness, and we're right on the cutting edge of what I believe will be one of the biggest industries in the next 10 years! So, that's how I talk, and I'm pretty fired up. Oh, and one super-important thing... I believe it is the responsibility of those who know, to teach those who do not know... and it is our responsibility to Get ThEiR Attention, and KeeP it. I want to do that thru Love and Kindness, and FUN! I believe the laughter is one of the keys to sanity. Personal Responsibility EQ Concepts Honesty Self-Awareness Level of Feeling Commitments Language Self-diagnosis Self-Mastery Confidence Self-trust Self-like Self-Love Empathy Intimacy Clarity, over cleverness. - 2:05 Services Needed: Posts, Shorts, News, Tips -n- Tricks, Lessons Categories: Social Media Services Author Assistance Editing and Proofreading Word Processing and Typing Hi. Ok, I'm the EQ Dude... my mission is to spread the good word about the wonder and joy of emotional intelligence (EQ) to the world! My wife and I have been teaching about EQ for over 25 years or so, and I've writing about it that whole time. Twenceforth, I have gobs and gobs or writing (800 blog postings, log file is over 300,000 lines long, and I have 20-25 handwritten notebooks). It's all about Emotional Intelligence (EQ), emotional healing, getting in touch with our right-brain feelings to add to our left-brain logic, to make better decisions in life! It's profound, it's simple, it's all natural, and it's all Free, inside of us. It also changes lives (I've personally SEEN it change over 2,000), saves lives (yep, some of them, too), enhance lives, bring more happiness and success, AND it could help reduce crime, mental health, suicides, divorces, addictions, violence, maybe even war... oh AND it helps in business, and school, and earning money, and success, and fulfillment... and so on. I believe EQ will be our next major foundational shift in consciousness, and we're right on the cutting edge of what I believe will be one of the biggest industries in the next 10 years! So, I'm looking for help with: - Simple blog postings - Some social media work (FB and Twitter) - Combine posts into a cool Autoresponder series ... that kinda thing. Clarity over cleverness! Can you help? Thanks much! - Matt EQ stuff: http://www.EQRocks.com http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com http://www.2GetHelp.org http://www.facebook.com/EQRocks http://Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop http://Twitter.com/MattPerelstein me: http://www.MattPerelstein.com http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein --- go eat and reboot (after 2 weeks or so!) --- up for lunch Emotional EQ, ABC news 3:35 I have about an hour then shower and go to MAC mtg with Mayra(!) so what? D-R? UK! made EQResearch_20120709.docx and ~mcp_EQNotes.txt - 4:21 Hi UK (as I affectionately refer to you in my journal): Ok, I'm ready to get back on the app. Things will never be perfect and it's time to continue. Can we talk in the next few days? I am totally flexible at this point, and will be happy to work around your schedule. I have a request that I'd like to try out, when we're actually wordsmithing, by phone. since it needs to be "my voice", I don't want you to type anything for me to review or type while we're on the phone (except maybe a quick reminder to send me something or talk to somebody). maybe after, a short summary of how you think we're doing, would be fun. but, I'll type. You help me think of what to say, and how to word it. it's gotta be my words, but talking to you ABOUT the words, and which to leave out, helps tons. Attached is my latest. We're starting over, to a point. but the most work is in How we will improve on existing efforts Let me know your thoughts here. I'd sure appreciate your help in getting this darned thing submitted. Hope you're well. - Matt --- to MAC , invoice 'em --- Robin's 2nd new site http://www.clickitphotography.net/contactus.html --- "Iron Lady", Margaret Thatcher, first female PM of UK Meryl Streep was awesome! good movie. --- slept in bed, but fell asleep with clothes on. --- 7.10 05-07 e's, poops, orders 07 wake up PKP, coffee finish orders so she can take 'em to the USPS 08 Chase calls re: closing on re-fi tomorrow EDD has a $4k lean on our house, so much have by tomorrow night credit card won't do... need cashier's check ouch. 09 --- 09:19 LI-EIN Kimberly Gleason What is one of the most emotionally intelligent, empowering questions you've asked or have been asked, and what was the result? As an executive and leadership coach, I have been trained in the art and power of asking good, thought provoking questions. For leaders who care about not just their organization’s success, but also the success of those they lead, here are thirty-five. And by the way, listening is required! What do you think about that? What would you do if you were in my situation? How will you accomplish that? What’s your plan and timeframe? What parts of this plan/project/idea are you most passionate or enthusiastic about? What are your strengths or talents that either one of us is not leveraging? What should be the measures of success for this plan/project/idea? What motivates you the most? What new ideas do you have? What do you think this company or our team needs? What are we missing? What were you hoping to accomplish that you haven’t been able to do thus far? How do (or don’t) our values align with our organization’s vision and mission? What do you wish we would do more of or less of? If I could be doing something differently as a leader, what would I be doing? What’s keeping you here? What opportunities should we be exploring? What part in this plan/project/idea would you like? What could we be doing better? How would you like me to lead you or this team? How will I know this objective has been accomplished? How will I know if you need assistance? What resources do you need from me? What makes you feel engaged? If you could be doing anything in our organization right now, what would you be doing? What do you need to be successful? Who can help you? What resources are you not utilizing? What should you be delegating, and to whom? If you could learn more about anything that would help you or the organization become more successful, what would you learn? What time of day do you work best? When do you most feel a part of the team? What makes you feel valued and appreciated? What kind of feedback would you find helpful? What makes you feel empowered to do your best? Try asking a few of these questions the next time you meet with a colleague or direct report. You may surprise them, but you will make them feel valued and appreciated. So, colleagues, what's one of the most emotionally intelligent, empowering questions you've asked or have been asked? And what was the result? - Hi. I'm Suzanne Starseed and I've written a book "The Ecology of Learning: Re-Inventing Schools" In it I take an ecological systems, research evidence based approach. All of the best current scientific research points to the importance of EQ for both teachers and students in the learning enterprise - Diane Chencharick commented on What role does mindfulness play in emotional intelligence? Does mindfulness contribute to emotional intelligence or has no impact? Mindfulness contributes to EVERYTHING in life, including EI. It is the door that opens us to authenticity and growth. - Sheryl B. commented on What role does mindfulness play in emotional intelligence? Does mindfulness contribute to emotional intelligence or has no impact? If I think about it I understand mindfulness to be the experience of being fully present moment to moment in our lives - a state or way of being rather than simply a skill. However we interpret it though, I believe it has a significant impact on our emotional intelligence. I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for several years now and it has made a significant impact on my wellbeing and my moment to moment emotional intelligence. I find that I am more conscious in the moment and my capacity to engage openly and directly with others much improved. I believe I am less defensive in my interactions with others and better able to deal creatively with whatever comes up. I actively encourage those with whom I work, private and organisational, to engage in mindfulness practice and have found that those that do take it up report great benefits from having done so. I would recommend to anyone wanting to improve either their emotional intelligence specifically or their well being genarally to engage in mindfulnees practice. --- Why your childhood habits are sabotaging your career http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7396227n&tag=featuredPostArea%3Ftag%3Dfacebook Make eye contact Your eyes are the window to the soul 50% of credibility - look 40% how you sound 10% what you say --- 09:43 FB-EP Have you ever tried Dried Eucalyptus leaves?!? - In Potpourri - Boiled for medicinal and aroma - In a steam room or sauna - Vacuum crushed leaves first to make the hole house smell grand - Deter fleas from dogs and cats Only $5.95 for a big gallon-bag full. Try some! http://www.eucproducts.com/leaves.html (scroll down) --- To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde --- 10:04 Kristen Beireis Hi again, Kristen, I sent in my RFP with IVA yesterday. No response yet. Can we talk for a few some time this week? Thanks. - Matt --- Josh Freedman What are the core issues that an intelligent change leader should focus on?* Do you want to know more about how to create excitement and curiosity in a change process or which people-focused steps are important to enact successful change? Then watch these new videos to get this or other answers: How can a change manager help in moving people from frustration to excitement? How can a change manager help in moving people from judgment to curiosity? What are the six people-focused steps to enact successful change? What are the suggested milestones in the process to re-imagine the future? --- IMS $53, in SF! Sheeva van Gemeren Case Study, 1-hour presentation Hi Matt, The salary is up to $85k annually. It is a contract to hire opportunity and their intention is to convert you to full-time after 6 months. Please confirm that this works for you. Thank you, Sheeva van Gemeren Account Manager & Technical Recruiter KFORCE Technology Staffing W-2s 85/12 = 7k/mo. 53 * 160 = 8480 I don't see how I can actually 'afford' to work in SF. MH or car, plus overnight, plus commute; Ferry to Sutter/Montgomery or bus to city from Marin one's $750/mo+ the other is $45/day so, 3-4 nights a week = 135-180/wk or 500-700/mo. MarinPark http://www.marinrvpark.com/newsite/index.php Map: http://www.marinrvpark.com/newsite/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=47&Itemid=65 Our overnight rate: effective 01-01-10 $45.00 + 10% tax for 2 people, plus $2.00 for extra persons (over the age of 5) - (Includes Cable TV) One RV per space; maximum occupancy 6 people per space. Summer Rate: Memorial Day Weekend through Labor Day Weekend $50.00 + 10% tax for 2 people, plus $2.00 for extra persons (over the age of 5) - (Includes Cable TV) One RV per space; maximum occupancy 6 people per space. 10% Good Sam and AAA discounts avaliable. Not Valid for Holidays or Special Events and cannot be combined with any other discounts. Click here for list of holiday's and special events. To make a reservation. Print this page and FAX it to 415-925-1584, or call us at 415-461-5199 or toll free 888-461-5199. - Larkspur RV http://larkspurrvpark.com South of ferry, next exit, assume it's walkable. Monthly rate is $725.00 plus electric and water, sites are metered. http://larkspurrvpark.com/rates For site availability and information on becoming a member of this community, please call (800) 733-6787 or (415) 897-1271. or Franklin-Templeton $60, in Rancho! Peters, Chelle" --- 10:55 MAC changed name of front-end and back-end but Marja not there yet --- To: tubbs@mcn.org, smileyjc96@gmail.com, postbyjose@yahoo.com, kurttubbs@mcn.org, lisa@harvestmarket.com, matt@2gethelp.com, dudedoc@mcn.org, rowrow7@yahoo.com, CA_ogar1@yahoo.com, silvercanul@hotmail.com, tomfan2lin@hotmail.com, babichmcs@comcast.net, aristeve@mcn.org, ginnyvarnum@comcast.net All, hope to see you at Silvers 6 PM on Thursday to commiserate on how much time we have now on our hands... Walt & Ginny --- EQ Test http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3038 --- 11:11 Hi Sheeva, The IMS case study is a 1-hour presentation, not a submittal, so I'm not sure if I need to send it to you first. If I do need to submit it, I can finish it Friday. Let me know what Josh says about working with KForce vs. IMS. Thanks. - Matt --- 11:56 Thanks, Jano. I've been tirelessly looking for work lately (our whole team lost a big consulting contract a month ago), so I haven't been posting much. Also, we just had our July 4 week/end here and that's my favorite time of year here... camped with grandkids at two incredible beaches, within 10 mi. of home... feel very blessed in that dept! EQ is doing very well, world-wide! Joshua Freedman, et. al. just had the biggest EQ conference ever (>7k EQers!), so I'm excited there. While I/we are awesome at emotional healing, and EQ concepts, I haven't found my niche yet with ongoing income... so I'm doing another computer gig... rather than teaching EQ like I'm 'supposed' to be doing! We do get to CHOOSE what we think, and how Positive/negative we allow our thoughts to be. How are you doing with staying positive these days? Thanks again for the kind thoughts. You've been very sweet. --- >> look for telecommute jobs! Crystal, recruiter Business Systems Analyst Marcos Elrahi The Computer Merchant, Ltd. (TCM) 95 Longwater Circle Norwell, MA 02061 Office: 800-617-6172 - 12:17 I am VERY qualified for this position, so if it's a decent rate and accessible to me, I'm VERY interested! I left a message with Crystal. Please call me asap to discuss. Thanks! - Matt Perelstein (updated resume attached) 707-962-9006 916-599-8597 cell --- What a Wonderful World http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPcgM1MnDnI --- >> Larry, Debbie! >> MFF eblast --- We can choose how we want to live We can master our destiny We can feel more powerful We can enjoy ourselves more We can enjoy our lives more We can make better decisions We can have more control over our lives We can heal our past We can feel better We can do better We can be happier We can improve We can change We can grow We can heal We can LIVE EQRocks! --- 12:51 Upload Doc's 54 blog books from: C:MyDocs\~People\Doc\DocsBlogs\ to http://www.2GetHelp.org/docs/doc/ but, they have spaces in the filenames, and Mixed case rename to: EQ-Doc-anger.pdf or EQ-Doc-fighting-abandonment.pdf --- trivia: In Windows 7, we can open 15 files at once in Windows Explorer, using the Right-click menu or no more. --- PKP --- "Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us." - Stephen R. Covey aka Happiness is a Choice. everything you see, hear, touch, taste, smell, or sense in any way is an aspect of Divinity. If you knew I answered whenever you spoke to me, Matt, would you be still enough to hear me? Prepare to be amazed, The Universe --- Getting worn out and run down robs you of receiving what you need from the universe. --- Josh tomorrow, 6-7:30pm Menlo Park --- conscious, not unconscious. planned, not so spontaneous and random --- val, let's talk, by phone >> reply! --- "When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way. " - Wayne Dyer If you are passionate about what you are doing then work is not a struggle. Of course there are challenges, but the work itself is a joy. --- "If you’re passionate about what it is you do, then you’re going to be looking for everything you can to get better at it." - Jack Canfield --- >> setup ARs to fire 2-3x/wk FB and Twitter write a slew of 'em --- Kristen Great, Kristen, thanks. I'll call in a few, about 9:30. - Matt sites workshop awesome concepts non-profit burning desire original concepts world-changing stuff $25/30, $40-50+ --- Brian at Nation's Lending re: monies due at closing Philip Jago, 707-357-0819 Fort Bragg, 1st Equity --- Family of like-minded EQ-centered People Education on EQ Concepts Tools to implement EQ Free Information and Resources Opportunity to connect virtually with others would you pay $19 one time --- PDFs audio video get cash for next few months --- it's not about doing the right things, it's about finding the way to do it, that's your way! >> BCC Kristen on note to Val --- Topic: Basic Conflict Resolution Skills for Teachers and Students: The S.T.A.R. Strategy http://www.oas.org/en/iten/PDFs/Webinar1_TWB_ITEN.pdf Christa M. Tinari, MA is a Safe Schools Specialist and a champion of whole-child education. A former Student Assistance Counselor, she has been training children and adults in the skills of peacemaking, for over 15 years. Ms. Tinari is founder of PeacePraxis Educational Services and creator of The Peaceful Schools Institute™, an interactive 3-day program that focuses on social-emotional learning, conflict resolution, diversity, positive discipline, and bullying prevention. Ms. Tinari is an Adjunct Instructor in the College of Education, Temple University (Philadelphia, PA), and a Certified Master Trainer in the “Conflict Resolution Education in Teacher Education” (CRETE) Project. She has presented at the International Bullying Prevention Association Conference, the International Summit of Conflict Resolution and Peace Education, the Association for Conflict Resolution National Conference, and the International Association of University Presidents Triennial. Ms. Tinari places much emphasis on practical strategies that help educators deal with the day-today challenges of reaching and teaching each student. To see how PeacePraxis improves school climate, visit www.peacepraxis.com The Idea: The S.T.A.R. strategy (Stop, Think, Act, Reflect), is a developmentally appropriate problem-solving strategy that: 1) helps students learn and practice critical social-emotional and conflict resolution skills 2) helps teachers and students resolve real problems 3) holds students accountable for their behavior Participants in this session will learn how to teach S.T.A.R. to students, ages 5-14, and how to implement S.T.A.R. in the classroom and school-wide. Participants will learn how to use S.T.A.R. to reinforce positive behaviors, build resilience within students, and support healthy relationships. We know that students who have improved social-emotional skills do better both in school, and in life. We know that we can create safer, more caring and productive classrooms when teachers and students use non-violent, effective methods to handle interpersonal conflicts. Students who learn and effectively use the S.T.A.R. strategy will be more likely to stop and think before acting, and will develop the ability to successfully resolve interpersonal problems --- Chase Theresa 877-483-3528 x70863 4,043.20 certified check "Nation's Lending", 350.92 due to skip check is out, "Nation's Lending", for lending paperwork Sept. 1 due ,1800 MV check , 500 Mike Biaggi check , 400 PP cash today , 400 PP EP tomorrow (PKP) ------- 3100 sub 400 on credit card today 400 on credit card tomorrow ($800 total) ------- 3900 sub 100 cash in drawer -------- 4000, boom Computaccount · (707) 937-4109 11000 Wildwood Ln · Mendocino Sarah Notary, tomorrow at 6pm ,make bill of sale for 100 x $5 = 500 PP = 2039 - 403 = 1636 PP DU = 910 PP 2GH = 357 Cash = 1600 - 400 = 1200 PayPal Smart Connect summary (X-6062) Spending power $124.00 USD available - 11:50 PP Help https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_help&t=escalateTab Products and Features, Reporting Hi. I'd like to find out how much we spent on postage last year (2011). I tried doing a history report where "USPS" is in the Email or the LastName field, but it's coming up empty. Can you help? Thanks. - Matt --- what is the PURPOSE of your behaviour? what need does it seek to fulfill for you? we're all about 'meeting our needs', emotionally, financially, spiritually --- I like the size and coloring of your graphic. How about wording something like this? ---------------------- IQ + EQ = LOL !! (always include the 2 !'s) Learn EQ at EQRocks.com 2GetHelp.org ---------------------- Also, PLEASE help me with the fonts on EQRocks... they're killing me! I actually DON'T look at/use the site because I can't stand the fonts! Thanks. - Matt --- Sapphire Job ID 270964, please choose another job. Ashley high 50's, $80k salary max. Maximus --- >> skew resume more toward Business Analyst --- Werner Bietz: hi, Matt. I am coming down from eureka to get the trailer. $400 right? Axel and wheel bearings ok? What size ball hitch is needed? C. U. Thurs. --- Elizabeth MCTV legal is the same judge is on vacation >> Make Sign on front 18"x18", send ahead show 20/20 video Drop off Copy of DVD >> 12min, get it to you earlier can you sit down have guests, later 30-min show --- emotional intelligence theory (EQ - Emotional Quotient) http://www.businessballs.com/eq.htm humour, funny and inspirational stories, amusing and inspirational quotes http://www.businessballs.com/amusement-stress-relief.htm --- So, Hi! Thanks for checking in, as I've been wanting to talk to you about all this. Below is an update, and a request: EQRocks/ND: - The industry is blooming with more and more interest in EQ and Emotional Healing - Our site and blog structure is completely set up, tested and working with the latest software - The membership functionality is also setup, tested and working. (for a $19.95 donation, one can now join the EQRocks family for life... and the money goes directly into the 2GetHelp account.) - Paying $750 for a month of social media posting was not a good investment (sorry about that one.. won't happen again) - My radio shows are online - 54 EQ Articles are up and available - More people are aware of ND & EQ, and actively asking for more information What's missing: - Implementing the income model on EQRocks - Content! I have gobs and gobs of writing that I've done but not had time to post. - EQ-101 (TV or online) isn't ready yet - Brochure still isn't done - Research numbers: I still need to test ND students before and after class to quantify results ("evidence-based intervention") - Still need a radio ad for ND created/tested So, I know this is a departure from our agreement, but I need you to consider this. I am unable to focus properly on ND/EQ and other potentially world-altering concepts because I am spending full-time looking for computer jobs (which I do not want, and which help no one). Would you ask "B" if she would consider funding me at $3k/mo. for 3 months (July,Aug,Sept) so that I could not take another computer job and instead focus my efforts full-time on what's most important? From her point of view, the money could still be donated to 2GetHelp, and I would be hired as a subcontractor by the non-profit. If I had 3 months to concentrate my efforts, I would commit to the following: An ND class in Fresno in July, and our 1st ND in Fort Bragg in September. Finish the ND Brochure, get it printed and distributed Tape at least 6 video trainings on EQ-101 (half-hour each), have them shown on TV and make them available online Get on at least 3 more radio shows and make these recordings available Have EQRocks.com family offering completed... with a goal of 333 sign-ups by Sept. 30 at $19.95 each ($6.6k) Complete and submit the Draper-Richards foundation application I believe that if I had this time, I can create enough ongoing income by then so that I wouldn't need any help thereafter. What do you think -- any possibility? Right now, I am in the running as one of the last 2 candidates for computer gigs in Sacramento and San Francisco (please don't make me go!!). Thanks. - Matt --- 7.12 Thursday 03:33 garage, 03:52 here --- I still have too much to work on EQ-101 outline is the most urgent now. I'm on the Tuesday after next. --- 04:25 yes, better, thanks. The fonts are set in the CSS, right? Please, change 'em to any font you think is nice. We might have to change 'em again, but we gotta try something different. Admin Panel: http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-admin Admin Username: MattRocks Admin Password: eqbig2012 Do I still owe you some pics of real people? - Matt --- 04:49 Yeah, I'm here Karen. I was embarrassed and didn't really have anything to say in my defense, so I didn't respond... besides you said to wait until you talked to the customer, so I was waiting... Rather than refund your fee, why don't we just leave it as a credit ($12?) and your next order will be free. I had that big sale a few weeks ago, and I got a huge rash of orders... and I didn't handle yours very carefully. I'll do better in the future, providing only the freshest leaves and branches... and making sure to include the instruction sheet in every one. As I said, I hate to throw away Eucs that I've cut, so even if they get a little old, I've been shipping 'em anyway... and that's not going very well... so I'll have to change my habit and start throwing away older ones (ouch), and cut more new each time. How was your second batch of branches that you were using for samples... better, right? I didn't send you instructions, as I don't send to anyone, after their first order. Give me the customer's address and I'll just send 'em a whole new order... at my cost... even tho' it's refunded. It'll be a nice surprise. sorry again about the mixups. I'll do better. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Are you there??? From: "Karen Stallings" Date: Thu, July 12, 2012 3:18 am To: "'Matt Perelstein'" Hello Matt, I sent you an email 2 days ago regarding an unhappy customer, and you have not responded. I have refunded to that customer all shipping and costs, and would like you to do the same. Please contact me, as I am concerned about your lack of response, as this as not been the case in the past. Thank you. Karen/SUGAR GLIDERS USA --- Josh, Hi Josh, Thanks for the note. Congrats again on your successful trips, certs, conference AND anniversary... you're on a roll making your life work in many areas... you're a poster child for high EQ! :) Gosh, I have so many things I'd like to talk to you about... - I like the "10 Signs of EQ"-kinda posts, because it gets people thinking about what EQ really is/means, and these have been some of the most popular posts. Yes, we've had plenty of those before, but I don't folks look very far back in history, so any that aren't actively being posted to, get left behind. PLUS, I think we still need to get better at "summing up" what EQ really means, in a very few, powerful words (like "Happiness is a Choice"), so I love to see others' ideas on this. - Say more about what you mean by "going deeper, with REAL issues or challenges they're facing". To me, the only thread that's kept going on a specific issue is the one on Change. Would you give me an example or two of threads you like best? - I'd like to modify the campaign page on www.feel.org a bit to make it more "branded" as the "Million Signature Campaign" (EQ-MSC). The page header says, "The EMOTIONAL LITERACY Campaign", but I'd like it to say, "The Emotional Literacy MILLION SIGNATURE CAMPAIGN", in the header and elsewhere, as the branding makes it easier to remember and 'get behind'. - Can we send an email to all the LinkedIn folks re: signing the MSC? (I'll draft the copy) - Can we also write to the participants from 24EQ, and ask the presenters to sign it, and send a note to their list? - Did you receive many $100 donations to download the 24EQ recordings? again, I'd like to see these given away for free... we WANT this information out in the world. I'd like to see the PPTs be free, and a basic class curriculum (elementary, middle, high, adult) given for free. make it clear EQ-101 - Me, I. self-esteem, feelings and emotions, IQ + EQ, balance, etc. EQ-201 - We, self-care, empathy, relationships, communication, boundaries, SUAL (shut up and listen) EQ-301 - Teams, commitment, goal-setting, intention, EQ-401 - Organizations, change management, sales, employee retention EQ-501 - Training for Trainers, individuals, groups, business, government let's work together to make this happen. - How can I work in with 6 Seconds to add the Individual to the mix? 2 big markets, both of which help spread EQ: - Individuals learning EQ basics, relationships, parenting, communications, codependence - Teachers, teaching EQ to Individuals elementary, middle, high, adult public schools, private schools, - Businesses learning EQ - Trainers/consultants/coaches/HR learning to teach Business EQ membership individual trainings curricula business trainings business curricula There's gotta be a way. I'm on my final interview for 2 dif. jobs. One's for a big medical billing firm in downtown SF. The other's in Sacramento something to do with personal and commercial loans. ... and I couldn't care LESS about either of these 'opportunities'. Is there SOME way I could work for 6 Seconds, rather than having to take these outta town jobs? Although you find me 'over the top', I believe I've reigned myself in since you said that a year or so ago. I have been consistently clear, and calm, and more professional, and I believe I've shown myself to be trust-worthy, over time... have I not? How can we work this in to 6 Sec's offering to the world? Individuals are the only piece you guys are missing, and it could well be your largest! How about I run an online EQ resource centers So we found out that running subgroups on LinkedIn is a pain, and Facebook isn't very flexible, either. Let's do our own, then, as the income possibilities are substantial! let's do an community, that can also login using their LinkedIn or Facebook IDs, for: - Individuals - Teachers - Businesses - Teams and under each, we can have special interest groups, like: - Parenting - Couples - Emotional Healing - Sports teams - Government agencies For each main area, we create some free EQ training and awareness materials for folks to get started on. Then, we collaborate with other providers to offer specialized trainings, products, reading materials, support groups, etc, most of which will be affiliate-based (where everyone wins). So, they take the main course, like EQ-101, for free then EQ-102, 103, 104, etc. are not-free classes on specialized subjects depending on your interest/need same goes for EQ-201, is free 202, 203, 204, etc. are not. My big dream is to have a site that does >> re-design EQRocks.com(!) >> design 2GetHelp.com (again) >> design 2GiveHelp.com - change the: The Emotional Literacy Campaign to: The Emotional Literacy Million Signature Campaign "6 Seconds EQ Network" should be "Six Seconds" and the link in Guidestar is: http://www.guidestar.org/organizations/94-3274972/six-seconds.aspx -------- Original Message -------- Subject: fyi re group From: Joshua Freedman Date: Wed, July 11, 2012 9:06 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt - hows the "day job" work slog going? I saw on FB you said you're heavily into search mode, I imagine it's not-super-fun... sorry. I'm a little exhausted after 3 mo of travel then 24EQ and now EQC this week. Nice to be w Patty today, just back from lovely dinner. FYI - I deleted this post: What are ten signs of EI that you can see in others around you right now? I thought it was redundant -- maybe I'm missing the point, but I don't think it's very interesting to have a lot of "what does EQ look like" posts running -- we've got the one on "most important social skill" and a couple others that all seem kinda the same to me.... Not anything earthshaking in importance, but I thought it might be worth discussing -- I'm thinking: how do we get the conversation to go deeper / more specific? I've liked the threads where people pose a REAL issue or challenge they're facing. Maybe in next announcement I'll encourage that. =:-) - J . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joshua Freedman, COO Six Seconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network T: 831 763-1800 • E: josh@6seconds.org W: www.6seconds.org --- 2 Get Help Incorporated http://www.guidestar.org/organizations/26-2421584/2-get-help-incorporated.aspx saved in 2GetHelp, Inc. contact info in Outlook and in IDPW --- Urgent Requirement for Access Developer http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Redmond&1s=WA&2c=Bremerton&2s=WA&2a=7070+Stampede+Blvd#a86f1894a3108a61cdb2cd0f Location : Redmond/Bellevue - WA Long Term Contract. Experience: 8+ years of Access Developer Experience Required. - Hi Keerthana, Thanks for the note. As you'll see from my resume (attached) I fit this requirement PERFECTLY, as I have over 23 years of DB design, development and documentation, specializing in Access and Excel (VBA). I am in California, but I am willing to commute, if the rate is worthwhile (I have commuted to Everett, WA before and worked 4-10's). Let's talk. Thanks. - Matt 707-962-9006 --- LI-EIN Hadeel S. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Dear all I am Hadeel Sakkijha. I am a research analyst in Orange. I live in Amman- Jordan. I have attended an emotional intelligence course this year with a company called change zone. and since then, my way of thinking have dramatically shifted. I really enjoy the topic and I look forward to be part of this group and exchange ideas and thoughts... - They know how to make others look good without making themselves look bad and hence, "all boats rise with the tide." - Why don't we have an Emotional First Aid Kit for the mind? (D-R) Over one million people die by suicide every year. The WHO estimates that it is the 13th leading cause of death worldwide and the National Safety Council rates it sixth in the United States. There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year worldwide. Hundreds of millions of people have suicidal thoughts in their minds. Billions of people have negative thoughts and negative behaviours everyday. - 05:38 Stay soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. --- D-R WHO mentioned "Emotional Intelligence" 151 times, in discussing training, preparation, healing, happiness, suicide prevention, etc. http://search.who.int/search?q=%22emotional+intelligence%22&ie=utf8&site=default_collection&client=_en&proxystylesheet=_en&output=xml_no_dtd&oe=utf8 • Suicide rates per 100,000 by country, year and sex (as of 2011) http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide_rates/en/ UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 17.7 males 4.5 females (4x as many males as females) --- 0541 Hi Nancy! (MMF) I hope the festival is going well for you! Do you need Paula and I to work a shift or two? Thanks. - Matt --- 05:58 MAC Hi Marja, "Registrar" Ok, it's time to put on your programmer hat! The problem is that I added all those if Zip = or if Zip2 = statements, but neglected to add Zip2 to the query (recordset). Soooo, When the error dialog box comes up, don't hit , hit Ctrl-Break _ that should kick you into the code. Find the line that says: str = "SELECT Contacts.[Long name], Contacts.Zip " & _ add a comma, a space and the 2nd zip code so it says: str = "SELECT Contacts.[Long name], Contacts.Zip, Contacts.Zip2 " & _ that's it. Save, close and test. btw, the "_" at the end of a line means that the next line is actually a continuation of that line, as the code is harder to read if it goes off the left edge of the screen. Let me know how that goes. - Matt --- "Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ Giving men the tools and plans to build the life YOU want. http://owenmarcus.com/emotions/whats-your-masculine-emotional-intelligence-quotient/ PDF http://www.owenmarcus.com/images/7%20Lies%20&%207%20Secrets%20-%20owenmarcus_com.pdf --- 07:15 Hi Josh, Thanks for the note. Congrats again on your successful trips, certs, conference AND anniversary... you're on a roll making your life work in many areas... you're a poster child for high EQ! :) Gosh, things are going so well for EQ, I have so many things I'd like to talk to you about... I like the "10 Signs of EQ"-kinda posts, because it gets people thinking about what EQ really is/means, and these have been some of the most popular posts. Yes, we've had plenty of those before, but I don't folks look very far back in history, so any that aren't actively being posted to, get left behind. PLUS, I think we still need to get better at "summing up" what EQ really means, in a very few, powerful words (like "Happiness is a Choice"), so I love to see others' ideas on this. Say more about what you mean by "going deeper, with REAL issues or challenges they're facing". To me, the only thread that's kept going on a specific issue is the one on Change. Would you give me an example or two of threads you like best? I'd like to modify the campaign page on www.feel.org a bit to make it more "branded" as the "Million Signature Campaign" (EQ-MSC). The page header says, "The EMOTIONAL LITERACY Campaign", but I'd like it to say, "The Emotional Literacy MILLION SIGNATURE CAMPAIGN", in the header and elsewhere, as the branding makes it easier to remember and 'get behind'. Can we send an email to all the LinkedIn folks re: signing the MSC? (I'll draft the copy) Can we also write to the participants from 24EQ, and ask the presenters to sign it, and send a note to their list? Did you receive many $100 donations to download the 24EQ recordings? I loved 24EQ (way to go!) and I loved how powerful the speakers were and how many people signed up to attend -- EQRocks! Josh, as we've discussed, I strongly believe that working with Individuals is the next big step for Six Seconds! You're in a wonderful position to train hundreds and thousands of folks on the ways of EQ, but it's limited when only focusing on business and organizations. Would you be willing to entertain some discussion on how we can work together to make this happen? As I see it, there are 4 big market segments for EQ products, and 6 Seconds handles #2 and #3 well. 1. Individuals learning EQ: the basics, personal responsibility, choice, feelings matter, head/heart/hand, Know/Choose/Give, relationships, parenting, communications, etc. 2. Teachers, teaching EQ to Individuals: elementary/middle/high school/adults, public/private schools, TAG/SEL, etc. 3. Businesses learning EQ: Teamwork, sales, HR, leadership, change, etc. 4. Trainers/consultants/coaches/HR teaching Business EQ: workshops, one-on-ones, curriculum, 30/60/90-day programs, etc. In each of these segments, there is potential for multiple, sustainable streams of income: Trainings/Certifications Store sales Affiliate-based sales Advertising sales A membership site (with a low one-time, join-our-family fee, then a gym-like model for more active support) I envision a whole 6 Seconds EQ University with the following courses available both on-line and in-person: EQ-100s - Me, I. self-awareness, self-esteem, feelings and emotions, head/heart/hand, Know/Choose/Give IQ + EQ, balance, etc. EQ-200s - We, self-care, empathy, relationships, communication, boundaries, compassion, SUAL (shut up and listen), etc. EQ-300s - Teams, commitment, goal-setting, intention, fitting in, etc. EQ-400s - Organizations, change management, sales, employee retention, personal power, etc. EQ-500s - Training for Trainers, individuals, groups, business, government, speaking, communicating, leading, etc. For each area, we create a free EQ training and awareness class for folks to get started on (EQ-101). Then, we collaborate with other providers to offer specialized trainings, products, reading materials, support groups, etc, most of which will be affiliate-based (where everyone wins). So, EQ-101 is free, then EQ-102, 103, 104, etc. are fee-based classes on specialized subjects depending on your interest/need. Same goes for EQ-201, which is free and then EQ-202, 203, 204, etc. are not, and 301, 401, and so on. I would love to work for 6 Seconds and help you bring the huge individual market into your mix. I'm on my final interview for 2 dif. "day jobs". One's for a big medical billing firm in downtown SF. The other's in Sacramento for Franklin-Templeton working with personal and commercial loans. ... and I couldn't care LESS about either of these 'opportunities'! Is there SOME way I could work for 6 Seconds, rather than having to take these outta town jobs? Although you have found me 'over the top', I believe I've reigned myself in since you said that a year or so ago. I have been consistently clear, and calm, and more professional, and I believe I've shown myself to be trust-worthy, over time... have I not? Thots? Thanks! - Matt 707-962-9006 p.s. - I could probably drive down for the mixer this evening, if you would like to discuss this further. The potential is there and we're in a wonderful position to make this happen, now. --- Ann Smith Hi Matt, Are you attending the Six Seconds EQ event at Synapse today? If all goes as planned, I hope to make it for the first half hour or so. Hope to see you there! 09:53 Oh, how nice of you to invite me! Actually, I'm still considering it, even tho' it's a 4-hour drive. I wrote to Josh earlier and tried to set up a meeting with him. If I can, then Yes, I will! Will you be there just the first half hour? (gosh, that was nice of you to invite me... as it turns out, when I got the invite yesterday, the first thing I did was scan the names to see if yours was there! I think we could do Soooo much more with teaching EQ... I'm trying to talk Josh into having us build an EQ training site together!) --- 10:07 Hey, Happy birthday, again! I was wondering, I noticed that you're not in the ND group anymore... did you remove yourself from the group on purpose? What's up? Hope you're good. Where are you staying these days? Come up and see us sometime! HB2U. Luv u. --- EQRocks http://www.eqrocks.com http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-admin/options-general.php?settings-updated=true Tagline: Sharing the power and the joy of having high emotional intelligence (EQ). Email: matt@2gethelp.org --- LI-EIN Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What is the most important social skill that emotionally intelligent people have? Humbly and respectfully, a deep and abiding sense of dignity, decency, goodness, and grace...and figuring out how to truly mean it - no matter what!. - Uma P. commented on What is the most important social skill that emotionally intelligent people have? Emotional intelligence is closely linked to the extent of expansion of one's self with the others and the universe.This is the pre requisite for loving others the way one loves oneself. The more the area of overlap, more advanced the emotional intelligence is. This automatically leads to empathy, respecting others, being nonjudgemental, patience, responding instead of reacting, overcoming adversities etc Dr Uma Pant Consultant Family Physician and Community Health Expert --- Optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to success in all aspects of life; to popularity; to good health and freedom from turmoil and trauma. --- BlueHost eqhealing.com / 2gh FTP Access account (so I don't have to give her rights to the Control Panel) sliloh@eqrocks.com / 2gh pathed to root, so she can see everything! ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/ To access the online Unlimited FTP client, enter in the following address and a pop up box will prompt you for your username and password: http://bluehost.com/cgi-bin/uftp/ try: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com Username: sliloh@eqrocks.com Password: 2gethelp FTP Server Port: 21 Path = /home8/eqhealin/ (enter "/" in field for root) --- noon-ish helped Tom's haul trailer ready for Werner Beitz to come buy it. --- 12:56 MAC, Susan Kelley and Lindsay Shields" Marja is happy, and as far as I know, we're done with her mods. FYI, the front-end is now called MAC.mdb (was macsys2011.mdb), while the back-end, on the server, is called MACData.mdb (was macsys2004.mde). Yes, I can connect GiftWorks with the MAC db. If we're gonna do this, we should do it soon, as I'm probably gonna be working outta town again in the next week or so. Lindsay, I think you're gonna love GiftWorks. Marja played with the demo on her PC and she thought that was "definitely" the way to go! Let me know. - Matt --- 2:45 Way2Go! Yes, please update the server, as well, and run a quick test. thanks. You've been a pleasure to work with! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Zip bug From: "Registrar" Date: Thu, July 12, 2012 1:06 pm To: woohoo!!! it worked. I accessed a code a different way, but it's working. Should I change the code on the server version as well? --- 2:47 Kristen I very much appreciate your support, and a gentle nudge. As you've seen, follow-thru is not one of my strong points. I an idea guy, not an ops guy. Know any ops-kinda people that I could hook up with? you're the best! I'll let you know what happens with it all. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: from Valerie - update From: "Kristen Beireis, Trust Marketing Expert" Date: Thu, July 12, 2012 6:56 am To: Great!!! Let me know how it goes. I’d love to see you get some time to solely focus on this project. Create a great day! --- I pretty much go as fast as I can, as long as I can (until it's time to eat, of course) --- 2:51 PP = 1676 --- Theresa $385.78 6pm Friday the 13th, here at home --- help Tom sell the trailer to Werner Beitz $400, gave me $50 commission and he paid next month's rent with rest. so I got it all! --- euc testimonial Nancy GaoEucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! 40 minutes ago near South Pasadena, CA · My gliders love your eucalyptus!! they smell so good!! my whole kitchen smell like eucalyptus now!! --- LI-EIN Michael R. commented on What is Masculine Emotional Intelligence (MEI) for you? What unique traits does a man process when he is really a man? I like to look at nature vs nurture and go from there. by nature and spirit, it seems to me that all humans are capable of emotional intelligence. Physically we are geared for different roles in humanity. on the nurture side of things, outside influences like upbringing, culture, and trauma intervene and unconsciously "teach us" what it is to be emotional beings, men, and women. So, your question(s) for me are more geared towards a discussion of gender roles in my own Western-based culture as well as a cultural discussion of the inner masculine and feminine psychology. Otherwise I could just claim a Ward Cleaver role and sit and pontificate to wife and kids from my lazy-boy chair with the evening paper in my hand. --- Hi Matt I saw your request for the above on IVAA's site and would like to indicate my interest.Feel free to make contact with me if you would like to discuss further, thanks Corine La Font Virtual Author's Assistant & Event Management Specialist (Virtual Book Tours, Amazon Best Seller Campaigns and more!) Visit www.helpdeskja.com Twitter:@authorasst 876 849 7856 Skype: helpdeskja.com ebook Kindle, Smashwords, or both do homework, first by the page, say 100 pages $1.50 - $2.50/page editor, $3.50/page Kindle, no graphics ereading devices, standard formats Smashwords, some graphics website dedicated to what you're doing WordPress Responder is free! >> send proposal for what I want, she'll price set up Responder --- 5:35 wake up PKP off to Silver's for racquetballers' party (very nice!) Rusty, Silver, Roger, Walt, Ginny, Lin, Doran, Sal, Tom, Danny, Rebecca, PKP 2 Kilt lifters and some fries 9pm home, crash --- 7.13 04:44 up and here "Every second we choose to nourish ourselves in a way that supports or depletes our lives, and to think and speak about other people in a way that is honoring or dishonoring. What choice are you going to make today." - Gregg Braden Earth is home to a web of living things that are connected to each other through a kaleidoscope of relationships. there is no such thing as a "bad omen," so you don't have to avoid black cats today. --- Ochestra Flash Mob in Spain http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GBaHPND2QJg Mall Ad http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GBaHPND2QJg Airport -Brazil http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GBaHPND2QJg --- 05:15 Hi. I was finally able to download the EucProducts PayPal transactions and filter them those going to "USPS", thus giving you the total Postage spent in 2011 ($8,510.66, see attached). Let me know if you need anything else from me for the taxes. Thanks for taking care of this! - Da Hub --- Telephone: (707) 964-6325 E-mail: jmurphy@jkmcpa.com Office: 1102 S. Main Street, Suite #1 Fort Bragg, CA 95437 http://www.jkmcpa.com/ - 05:30 Hi Jerry, Just wondering if you need any more help customizing your BillQuick? Thanks. - Matt Perelstein 962-9006 --- Anger weakens the liver. Grief weakens the lungs. Worry weakens the stomach. Stress weakens the heart and brain. Fear fails the kidney. - Life First Chiropractic It is better to build children, than to repair adults. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin If Howard Schultz gave up after being turned down by banks 242 times, there would be no Starbucks. If J.K. Rowling gave up after being turned down by multiple publishers, there would be no Harry Potter. If Walt Disney quit too soon after his theme park concept was trashed 302 times, there would be on Disneyland. One thing is for sure. If you give up too soon, you'll never know what you'll be missing. Keep Going and NEVER Quit! - I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promis it won't be boring. - David Bowie --- The Ego (false self) (see graphic) ME Separation Blame Hostility Resentment Pride Complaining Jealousy Anger power Materialism Madness War Coldness Past/future-orientation Intolerance Self-importance Eqoism Self-denial Social intertolerance Living up to this or that Shoulds Do OR The Soul (true self) WE Unity Understanding Friendliness Forgiveness Love Gratefulness Happiness (co-happiness) Humble Spiritual Wisdom Peace Sympathy Empathy Present-orientation Tolerance We-importance Altruism Self-acceptance Simplicity Be --- EQRocks WP Plugins, AutoResponders http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-admin/plugin-install.php?tab=search&s=responder&plugin-search-input=Search+Plugins --- 06:09 Added pic, to Doc http://www.eqrocks.com/eq-articles/ --- 06:21 Rebooting... --- 06:31 To the unlimited power that lies sleeping within you. Let it slumber no more. - Tony Robbins, dedication to "Awaken the Giant Within You" "It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well." - Rene Descartes --- True or False, I can make my name anything I want it to be, legally? True. then, the only boundaries are 'shoulds' Boundaries vs. Shoulds Understand ourselves what we think what we feel how we act how we react. I don't want to analyze the heck out of it... that's for left-brainers. but I do want to understand me, and how I work. I want to learn to Motivate myself, enough, but not too much. I want to be a good person. I want to be a successful good person. (yeah, 'good' is subjective, but good to me, so I'm proud to look people in the eye... for me.) I want to be a giving person... I am a giving person. I give whenever I can. I look for ways to give, and actively pursue 'em. I volunteer all over. I ask people what they need, and try to provide it to/for them. why? 'cause it's fun. 'cause it helps people like me. 'cause then I get to connect. I like people. I get a rush offa being around people. call this self-centered (I do), but it is how it is. It is how it is. the ultimate acceptance. We are an emotionally-clueless society. Many of our biggest social problems exist as Symptoms of this problem. Suicide, Crime, Mental Health, Abuse, Addictions, CoDependency, Violence, even War. are sooo much based on people not having a clue about how to deal with their feelings and emotions. --- Microsoft SQL Server Integration Service (SSIS), Analysis Service (SSAS) and Reporting Service (SSRS) desirable coellen.camat@experis.com --- 09:05 FB-R Actually, we heard some very good rumours yesterday, that there were 4 potential buyers, and the bank is choosing between two. Danny said that Larry (the owner of the 'other' club in FB) told him he was buying it. It might be a month or so, but I believe racquetball will once again return to FB! --- 09:25 Hi Katie. Thanks for the note, but I already found a VA (yesterday). I'll keep your info in case the other one doesn't work out. Best wishes and good luck with it all. - Matt --- (worked, a lot, on TCOYF&E... moving below) --- 10:33 Val Ok, I hear you. Thanks for being honest with me. I just thought I'd ask... knowing it wasn't likely. (I've been asking for things more directly lately, and it's going pretty well. I don't always get a Yes, but I have always been glad I asked) So, back to work. (you know I'm not gonna give up.) You have the latest brochure (attached) and you already gave me good feedback on it... I just haven't finished it. I got feedback from others that it's way too long, and that we should cut out about HALF the words. Sum it up, clearly, powerfully, and succinctly, in a few words. (sound familiar? as you know, this has been one of my greatest struggles in marketing ND/EQ!). Wanna help me brainstorm the "right"/best wording?! That would be most helpful! Here's something I wrote this morning. Whatchathink? 1. We don't have much control over what other people think/feel/do/say. 2. The main things that we can control/manage/effect in our lives are our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. 3. Every decision/choice we make, every behaviour we do and every word we say is based on at least one thought (left-brain IQ) and at least one feeling (right-brain EQ). Our thoughts generate feelings, our feelings effect our thoughts, and both effect how we decide to behave, therefore they are all interconnected. If we change one, they all change. 4. We never do anything we don't choose to do (except for some bodily functions). Therefore every behaviour/action/word is a choice that we make. 5. In that choice, is freedom, and responsibility. Once we come to grips with the fact that we are 100% totally, completely responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, then and only then can we have full control over our lives. 6. However, we are trained in school that left-brain is king -- to listen to, respect and educate the logic of our minds -- but to ignore, and downplay, and stuff our feelings and emotions. IQ is good, EQ is bad. Left-brain rules, right-brain drools. 7. But, our feelings and emotions give us continuous, super-vital, life-altering information about our internal state, emotionally and physically, and our external state, the landscape and the people in our environment. 8. To make better decisions, get better information, right? To get the best information available to us, we must incorporate both our thoughts and our feelings together and incorporate both into our decision-making. Combining the left and the right, the heart and the mind, the body and the spirit, leads to happiness, togetherness and success in life. Left-brain + right-brain = WHOLE brain! IQ + EQ = LOL !! 9. IQ can't be changed much... but EQ most certainly can. EQ skills/scores/knowledge/wisdom can be improved significantly. EQ concepts are real-life lessons about ourselves and others, that are inexpensive to teach, easy to remember, incredibly practical (instant gratification), and can be presented in a way that builds connections, wisdom and unity. Everyone wins with EQ... the teacher and the student... the speaker and the listener... the parent and the child. 10. We must spread EQ, as far and as wide as we possibly can, for ourselves, for our kids and for our future. Please join me on this adventure. --- Hi and yay! I believe that our power to modify/change/rewire those pictures/sounds/smells/feelings/belief systems is one of the most powerful functions of EQ. NLP Rocks! Would you mind dropping a note to a lady I met named Debbie (connectwithdebbie@gmail.com), as I think she has some specific questions for you? She's from Fort Bragg, she works with veterans in Fort Collins, CO, is married to a reactive vet, and I told her about some of the successes you have had in using EQ to work thru your PTSD. She's thinking of coming out to take ND, as well. I'd appreciate it. You guys won't be back in Fresno by July 27th, right? - Matt --- 10:54 PP = 1709 --- 1:06 “Emotional intelligence isn’t a luxury you can dispense with in tough times. It’s a basic tool that, deployed with finesse, is the key to professional success.” - Daniel Goleman, “Breakthrough Ideas for Tomorrow’s Business Agenda,” Harvard Business Review “Companies typically hire individuals for their IQ and expertise. They fire them for a lack of emotional intelligence (EQ).” - Phil Johnson, The Servant Warrior Leader The skills of emotional intelligence are highly significant to the success of individuals, teams, and organizations. - Barbara Kerr, Ph.D. http://www.emotionalintelligenceinsights.com/aboutus.htm Tools for creating an emotionally intelligent workplace --- Seven Ways to Increase Your Influence http://www.emotionalintelligenceinsights.com/blog.htm Enhance your influence and see your ideas given due consideration: 1. Be aware of your audience—others on your team or committee. Anticipate what the reaction—and possible objections—might be to your idea. If there is someone who you think will have a negative reaction, visit with that person before the meeting to talk one-on-one. 2. Be clear about your intended outcome. Ask yourself what you really want to convey and what you want the group to do in response. Is it necessary that they agree with everything you say—or that they take the idea seriously enough to discuss it further? 3. Time your contribution. If you are going into a meeting that already has an agenda as long as your arm, chances are it is not a good time to bring up a new idea. On the other hand, if the group seems to be looking for a solution to a particular problem, and you have a reasonable idea to resolve it, you will have a better chance of being heard. 4. Listen and collaborate. Listening carefully to the concerns of others means that you cannot just be thinking and waiting to pounce with your own idea. Instead, as you listen, ask if your idea might address any of those concerns. Or can you add to someone else’s idea—first giving them credit for that idea—and then building your concept on to it? 5. Become more self-aware. Try stepping outside yourself a bit at the next meeting you attend. Watch yourself speaking to the group, and observe the reactions of others. Who do you make eye contact with? Who do you avoid looking at? Who seems to be listening? Who seems distracted or hostile? If you cannot be an objective observer of yourself, find a trusted friend who can give you feedback. 6. Observe a skilled influencer. Who is the person that everyone seems to listen to at meetings? Observe how this person introduces a new topic or builds upon one that is already on the table. How does he or she appeal to group members? How does he or she acknowledge the ideas of others and perhaps build upon them? 7. Try a little empathy. Different personality types take in information in different ways and at different rates. Some people need time for reflection before making a decision one way or another; others will be impulsive and take on a new idea without much thought. Some want only logic and objectivity in the ideas presented; others will need a more personal touch with attention paid to how an idea will affect the people involved. - Eight Ways to Enhance Interpersonal Relationships in the Workplace Encourage better interpersonal relationships in the workplace: Below are some simple suggestions for increasing your ability to relate to others in the workplace. If you are seeking to enhance this competency and to raise the level of your Emotional Intelligence, try out one or two of these in your workplace environment. Then just observe the effect that your action has on your interpersonal relationships. 1. Seek to increase diversity. No, this is not a new idea. As a nation, we’ve been working at this for many years, and the numbers of women, minorities, and other underrepresented groups in the workplace have grown. But we sometimes forget just how limiting the old boy network was, and how easy it is to fall into hiring people who look and sound like ourselves. A true appreciation of diversity will include a broad spectrum of the categories we insist on placing people in—gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, culture, religion, political perspective, and educational background. 2. Make each communication meaningful. John Donne would be astonished to know how many ways we have to communicate in the 21st century. As an observer of the human heart, however, he might not be so surprised to find that despite all our technological gadgets, we are still learning how to communicate in ways that truly connect us. Try thinking of each communication in your day—whether by telephone, email, an informal chat, or a presentation at a formal meeting—as an opportunity to connect with another person. Recognize that emotions are the true currency of such communication. 3. Be curious. Developing (or perhaps it is simply remembering) our inborn sense of curiosity about people, events, and objects can greatly increase our connections to our colleagues while also broadening and deepening our perspective about the world. Every person you work with has a story. Being curious about even a part of that story—what that person at the next desk is passionate about, where that person who works down the hall went on vacation, how the hospitalization of a spouse or child has affected yet another colleague—can result in increasing your own empathy but also in building strong connections and support networks. 4. Experiment with providing appreciation, interest, and service. Expressing your appreciation of even the more or less expected work of a colleague—whether a boss, a peer, or someone you supervise—can result in much more than continued good work. The connections forged through demonstrating genuine interest or in performing acts of service for others in the workplace are in themselves valuable. By becoming interested in others, you will create new pathways for the neurons in your own brain, enriching your satisfaction and your experience of the world. 5. Share an experience that is not work-related. A team can prepare and consume a meal together. Several people can team up to introduce ideas for recycling or promoting physical fitness. Plan a brown bag lunch in which one or more colleagues shares an interest outside of work—a passion for opera, or soccer, or bird watching, or travel, or a service organization’s project. The possibilities for learning something are endless, and the connections you form with others by listening to them are perhaps even more valuable. 6. Involve others in decisions. While we may all be a bit cynical about the political polls that seem to be ubiquitous in these months before a major election, the idea of polling can help us recognize that the very act of asking people about their opinions can provoke them into thinking about an idea that they hadn’t really considered. In the workplace, asking people for their ideas and opinions, especially if they will feel the effects of a decision, can result in increased options, greater understanding of the issues, and enhanced interpersonal relationships. Of course, any decision must then be followed up with both appreciation and feedback. 7. Provide a gift of the senses . We are familiar with this idea in romantic relationships. We give flowers, candy, perfume—all intended to please the senses of the recipient. In the workplace, which is often a rather sterile environment, people appreciate those things that please their senses even in very small ways. With a bit of increased awareness, you can add pleasurable sensations that will be acknowledged at some level in others’ brains. Such “gifts” can include a smile (vision), a few flowers from your garden (smell and vision), a plate of cookies (taste), a brief touch (oh yes, we have to be careful these days—but an appropriate touch on the arm or shoulder can be powerful) , a genuine laugh, or a shared piece of music (hearing). All of these “gifts” will influence the recipients to experience positive feelings. 8. Avoid or minimize reactions to those who complain, gossip, attack, blame, or suddenly explode. It seems that every workplace has one or more of these characters. Some of them are executives, some are managers, some are employees—and all are difficult to work with. We’ve all wondered how best to deal with such people. It is worth repeating the truism here that it is not in our power to change them, but it is in our power to choose our reactions to them. One technique for changing our own reactions is to search for even a tiny bit of empathy for what that person is experiencing internally. --- “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main..." - John Donne The seventeenth-century poet wrote these words as part of a series of meditations as he was recovering from a life-threatening illness. --- 2:55 Lori Woohoo -- so glad to hear! We're ridin', too! (I guess we all choose to live that way, ey?) love you all! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Fw: Positive Thoughts From: Lori Seargeant Date: Fri, July 13, 2012 2:47 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com, paula@2gethelp.com, woods48@juno.com I am excited about camping!!! I think it wilk be a good time! We are hoping Robert does not end up being on call that weekend. Things are so up in the air with his job right now becasue he is moving permanently to Ranch Cordova! Which is great becaues it mean no more commute!!! Meanwhile it means getting the new guy up and running. So, stay tune...we are on a wild ride!! Love you guys! --- Explain EQ using cartoons --- 3:24 Hi Jennifer, I don’t mind donating some fresh Eucalyptus to your event (oh, I just noticed it’s on 9/11 – very cool!). I just wanted to let you know because the site says to send in our donation early… but it’s better if we send it in just before showtime. You can put me down for a: 5 lb. Fresh Euc Combo Pack ($50 value): - 2 lb. Fresh Euc Branches - 2 lb. Fresh Euc Leaves - 1 lb. Euc Chew Sticks - ¼ lb. Dried Euc Leaves I’ve been providing regular shipments of fresh Euc leaves to 2 zoos… I often wonder where the other zoos get Eucs from because some animals, like the Giant Prickly Stick Insects, eat little else. Koalas eat them, sugar gliders go berserk over them (like how catnip effects cats!) and birds chew, forage and gnaw on the branches and leaves. Do you have a program or other way to advertise? Nothing big like a sponsorship, but I don’t think most animal people know that clean, fresh, unsprayed Eucalyptus cuttings are readily and regularly available. Best wishes for a great show! Thanks. - Matt http://www.EucProducts.com http://Facebook.com/EucProducts --- Click Here to Do a Quick 2-Minute Online Interview! --- 4:07 darn. not even short-listed, ey? ouch. oh well. Any word on the SOMS training, or do I need to talk to only Jay about that. I hear Chuck is leaving/changing. He speaks so highly of you. Thanks for your diligence... - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: I heard from CDCR From: Colleen Abrams Date: Fri, July 13, 2012 3:18 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, I just herd back from CDCR. MetaVista did not get the contract for the SQL Report Writer engagement. I know you weren't all that optimistic, but I was. I'm sorry this one didn't come to be. Still looking for something good for you. Thanks, Colleen Abrams --- 6-7:30 signed new loan papers!! Mortgage is $1195/mo for $238k, 360 mo. at 4.125% +200 insurance not bad, ey? Tracy pays $1300 for rent. champagne and enchilada casserole (using white torts), yum! "Atlas Shrugged", pt. 1. Great story, book is way better. get pt. 2. --- 11:20 what part of your body will break down first? how come? what do you need to release / let go of, in order to have that area flow nicely. any 'blockage' like that is logic-confused emotion. neuro-associations (p 125 of Tony Robbins, "Awaken the Giant Within") false n-a's mixed n-a's self-sabotage. like our beliefs about money. --- I seem to have trouble giving examples of my points/lessons is the real-world part of it that throws me? or is it worse when I'm going thru a tough spot and the EQ stuff ain't working that well for me. actually, it's working well! I'm just down/worried/broke/unemployed. and disheveled, and fat, and everything is dirty, and unkempt, and I'm alientating some (like Paul). --- 11:26+ (worked, more, on TCOYF&E... moving below) Taking Control of your Feelings and Emotions REQUIRED class for ALL offenders All School kids ALL any time you FIGHT that fact, it brings up negative Feelings inside a. Anger is THE most mis-understood feeling b. Anger can be sooo destructive, or sooo Constructive, if used correctly c. do it quieter, it scares the dogs not a should, a Choice You DO Choose. all of it. every negative feeling is somehow a choice. we choose over and over and over and over again and again and again and again. every second, every minute, every hour, every single day, we choose. We ARE in control. We DO have the power. but it's not Power and Control over others... it's Power and Control over ourselves!(!) That's a key! Keys to EQ 1. We Choose 2. We Choose to Accept, or not, continuously. 3. We choose to think what we think... one of the biggest things we have 100% control over is our Judgements! 1. We never do anything we don't Choose to do. (except for some bodily functions) 2. In that choice, is freedom. 3. Behind every choice/action/behaviour is at least one thought (left-brain IQ), and at least one feeling (right-brain EQ) 4. We are trained that left-brain is king, to listen to, control and educate our logical minds, but to ignore, and downplay, and stuff, our feelings. IQ is good, EQ is bad. left-brain rules, right-brain drools. 5. But, our feelings give us super-vital information about ourselves, our passion, our values, our heart, and let us understand, and fit into, and manage our environment. 6. To make better choices/decisions/behaviours, we must incorporate our thoughts and our feelings together. IQ + EQ = LOL !! left-brain + right-brain = WHOLE brain/heart/body/spirit! 7. IQ can't be changed much... but EQ most certainly can... EQ skills/scores/knowledge/wisdom can be improved significantly, and quickly. EQ is inexpensive to teach, easy to remember, incredibly practical (instant gratification), and can be presented in a way that builds connections, wisdom and unity. Everyone wins with EQ... the teacher and the student... the speaker and the listener... the parent and the child. 8. We must spread EQ, as far and as wide as we possibly can. Please join me in this journey. We are told not get too Excited, or Upset both good and bad are cut off, discouraged, smashed down We never do anything we don't Choose to do. (except for some bodily functions) In that choice, is freedom, and responsibility. Behind every choice/action/behaviour is at least one thought (left-brain IQ), and at least one feeling (right-brain EQ) We are trained in school that left-brain is king -- to listen to, respect and educate the logic of our minds -- but to ignore, and downplay, and stuff our feelings and emotions. IQ is good, EQ is bad. Left-brain rules, right-brain drools. But, our feelings and emotions give us continuous, super-vital, life-altering information about our internal state, both emotionally and physically, and our external state, the landscape and people in our environment. To make better choices/decisions/behaviours, we must incorporate our thoughts and our feelings together. Combining the left and the right, the heart and the mind, the body and the spirit, leads to happiness, togetherness and success in life. Left-brain + right-brain = WHOLE brain! IQ + EQ = LOL !! IQ can't be changed much... but EQ most certainly can. EQ skills/scores/knowledge/wisdom can be improved significantly. EQ concepts are real-life lessons about ourselves and others, that are inexpensive to teach, easy to remember, incredibly practical (instant gratification), and can be presented in a way that builds connections, wisdom and unity. Everyone wins with EQ... the teacher and the student... the speaker and the listener... the parent and the child. We must spread EQ, as far and as wide as we possibly can, for ourselves, for our kids and for our future. Please join me on this adventure. We are a sum total of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. All 3 effect each other, so if you change one, they all change. thoughts - lots of control feelings - quite a bit of control, and lots of effect behaviours - total and complete control Attitudes, Judgements, Values, Belief Systems, Shoulds, Rules, Intention are all made up of thoughts and feelings many Ts and Fs are conscious, and many are unconscious. quiet, low, not aware of them, thinking about something else BS is a thought. easily make 'em conscious. EQRocks. Here's why: We don't have much control over what other people think/feel/do/say. The main things that we can control/manage/effect in our lives are our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Every decision/choice we make, every behaviour we do and every word we say is based on at least one thought (left-brain IQ) and at least one feeling (right-brain EQ). Our thoughts generate feelings, our feelings effect our thoughts, and both effect how we decide to behave, therefore they are all interconnected. If we change one, they all change. We never do anything we don't choose to do (except for some bodily functions). Therefore every behaviour/action/word is a choice that we make. In that choice, is freedom, and responsibility. Once we come to grips with the fact that we are 100% totally, completely responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, then and only then can we have full control over our lives. However, we are trained in school that left-brain is king -- to listen to, respect and educate the logic of our minds -- but to ignore, and downplay, and stuff our feelings and emotions. IQ is good, EQ is bad. Left-brain rules, right-brain drools. But, our feelings and emotions give us continuous, super-vital, life-altering information about our internal state, emotionally and physically, and our external state, the landscape and the people in our environment. To make better decisions, get better information, right? To get the best information available to us, we must incorporate both our thoughts and our feelings together and incorporate both into our decision-making. Combining the left and the right, the heart and the mind, the body and the spirit, leads to happiness, togetherness and success in life. Left-brain + right-brain = WHOLE brain! IQ + EQ = LOL !! IQ can't be changed much... but EQ most certainly can. EQ skills/scores/knowledge/wisdom can be improved significantly. EQ concepts are real-life lessons about ourselves and others, that are inexpensive to teach, easy to remember, incredibly practical (instant gratification), and can be presented in a way that builds connections, wisdom and unity. Everyone wins with EQ... the teacher and the student... the speaker and the listener... the parent and the child. We must spread EQ, as far and as wide as we possibly can, for ourselves, for our kids and for our future. Please join me on this adventure. --- Attitude Judgements Permissions who has security clearance in your head? who can make changes? Once we come to grips with the fact that we are 100% totally, completely responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, then and only then can we have full control over our lives. - mcp think of your brain's decision-making process. don't we want --- 1. We are born clean, and clear, and real, and happy, and content, and totally in touch with our feelings. 2. As we grow up, life happens... painful, traumatic, 3. But our parents weren't comfortable with their feelings, and they didn't know how to teach us how to handle ours... so they consciously and unconsciously stop their kids from expressing feeling. We were warned, told, hollared at, berated, ridiculed, criticized, even beaten for showing big feelings, either negative or positive. In addition, we were taught in schools that left-brain knowledge is king, while right-brain creativity, uniqueness and feeling is to be "trained out" of kids. IQ is good, EQ is bad. Left-brain rules, right-brain drools. - born clear - eq is trained out of us - life happens - we shut down - --- 05:52 sliloh People Pics: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/images ... and more are on the way... - Matt --- saving zips of pics to: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/images/ one zip is 175Mb! 8x, hundreds of pics! --- 07:22 Student: "Master, I am discouraged. What should I do?" Master: "Encourage others." --- Think Less, Feel More Frown Less, Smile More Talk Less, Listen More Judge Less, Accept More Watch Less, Do More Complain Less, Appreciate More Fear Less, Love More! - HappinessInYourLife.com --- HFC Modification is approved Making trial payment, as soon as it's paid 2- $555.76 payments both in by Aug. 26 --- Wells Fargo Visa, 30 days late $80 due check by phone 0318 Conf. #4567 --- Still applying!! For 30 years, I have worked in the IT industry, as an database analyst, designer and developer. After having over 80 successful jobs, and dealing with a huge range of customers -- from mom-n-pops to Fortune 500 companies and numerous government agencies -- I am uniquely qualified for a position as a Customer Success Manager. Please see my resume for a listing of jobs, and let's discuss how I can ensure customer success at GoodData! - For 30 years, I have worked in the IT industry, as an database analyst, designer and developer. After having over 80 successful jobs, and dealing with a huge range of customers -- from mom-n-pops to Fortune 500 companies and numerous government agencies -- I work well with customers, and translate into technical language for IT staff. Please see my resume for a listing of jobs, and let's discuss how I can help at GoodData! --- 09:17 Hey Summer!! (cc: Nancy) Hi. Hope you're well! Your gramma said you and Lindsey are coming back to Fort Bragg -- how very cool!! Whatchadoin' and whereyastayin'? Please, please let me know when you're back in town so we can hang out some more, as that was most fun for me! Also, Lindsey left her little black boombox here, and there's a pair of flip-flops and some socks, too. Call me! - Matt 707-962-9006 home 916-599-8597 cell --- Joni! 3pm to MacKerricher with PKP & Bella to meet Joni, Barney and Lou Ella - very nice! to Cap'n Flints for dinner, yep. 6pmish home "The Debt" " ? " (Clint Eastwood movie) 11 here pause (here, again) --- 7.15 Sunday we were all going to go to Ukiah to play, but Ginny and Curt backed out, so all backed out. darn. --- 05:22 Uploaded EQ radio interviews http://www.EQRocks.com/audio/ (3x) ND class pics & Doc's quote pics: http://www.EQRocks.com/images/ (zips) --- 05:37 Tweet from Matt Perelstein Relieve the symptoms of PTSD, in a safe environment. July 27-29 Fresno, CA #NewDirections, #PTSD? http://www.2GetHelp4Veterans.com Tweet from EQRocks.com Discover life-changing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills, quickly and safely! July 27-29 Fresno, CA #NewDirections, http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com --- 06:02 MCP testimonial Sanjoli Chimni Pande (FB): Thanks Matt, your enthusiasm is infectious and wonderful :0) May God Bless you always --- 06:26 From: Patricia Bryte [mailto:bryteworks@comcast.net] Hi Patricia, I just say your email – thanks for the note – so good to hear from you! I’m glad you’re into EQ (as I surely am!)… I believe EQ is the answer to many of our personal and social problems! We have a New Directions class coming up in a few weeks, July 27-29 in Fresno. Won’t you join us?!? Tell me more. Thanks again for spreading the joy and wonder of EQ! - Matt --- 06:36 Yael Stark If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. ~Daniel Goleman This statement applies to anything you want to succeed in- including successful steps towards optimal health and better quality of life. Are you aware of your emotions? can you manage them? do you understand the consequences of not being aware and not being able to manage them? Matt Perelstein We've been working with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) for over 25 years, and I can tell you, it's truly life-changing! We mostly learn book smarts in school (IQ), and our parents didn't teach about our feelings and emotions, 'cause they mostly don't know how to handle theirs... so how do we learn these vital skills? I have personally seen hundreds change their lives with these simple, powerful, natural concepts and skills... including a number who claim that it actually SAVED their self-esteem, marriage, job, relationship, even their lives! EQRocks! --- The 3 C's of Life: Choices, Chances, Changes We must make a Choice to take a Chance or our lives will never Change! --- Google Analytics for EucProducts.com Pageviews: 367 Unique Pageviews: 272 Code to add to each page, just before the closing : NDW: Installed Plugin: Google Analytics for WordPress Editing googleanalytics/googleanalytics.php updated 7 Plugins EQ-101: (http://www.2gethelp.org/blog) --- 07:08 Gwen, Hi. Would you do me a big favor and add Google Analytics to the site? Please paste the following code to each page, just before the closing <\head> tag: Let me know if this is ok! Thanks much. - Matt oh, on the home page, you have Twitter and Tjoos.com... would you please add a Google+ icon, as well? Here's the code:
Each page, please! I can let you know if it's working (not sure how to tell, otherwise). You can do just the homepage first, and I'll test it, if you want. Google Plus would be nice, but it's not that important, so don't stress about it. Congrats on the new cam! I will send you an assortment of pretty eucs tomorrow for videos! Happy Sunday. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: [FWD: Payment received from wendysutton@gmail.com] From: Gwen Hovde Date: Sun, July 15, 2012 10:24 am To: Matt Perelstein No problem, are we adding the google analytics to each page or just the home page? How do I know when I have it working? I have not loaded it yet due to not knowing what pages to add it to. As far as the google plus, it hates me. I add it into my html/script box, preview it and there is nothing there, did I mention yesterday was horrid, today WILL be a better day! Lol. I did get a new camera so you should send some pretty eucs over soon and I will try to take high def vids of my kids and get them loaded up for you. Maybe we can get something good and clear for the home page : ) Talk to you soon. --- listed "My Emails" at top of this file! matt@2gethelp.com 65,782 msgs --- 08:00 texted goodbye, et. al. to Joni! --- 08:25 You have brains in your head, and feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. - Dr. Seuss --- Compassion is the key to reaching someone's heart --- GoDaddy Domains/Products Domain Names: 119 Other Products: 132 --- Submitted app for "App Dev/Support Analyst (telecommute) - U.S., 386381" http://careers.unitedhealthgroup.com/Data/Jobs/Information-Technology/386381-Applications-DevelopmentSupport-Analyst-Telecommute-US.aspx UnitedHealth Group just posted yesterday I meet the criteria exactly! hopeful. --- 11:55 http://seeker.dice.com/jobsearch/servlet/JobSearch?op=302&dockey=xml/3/3/33b6c7d56f018414773c02fd769a347f@endecaindex&source=19&FREE_TEXT=vb&rating=99 jobs@frsoft.com Job Application: TECHNICAL ANALYST Hi Tracy, Please consider my for the TECHNICAL ANALYST job you have out of Denver. As you’ll see from my resume (attached), I am VERY well qualified for this position! I have healthcare experience, SQL Server, VA/VBA programming, MCP, I’m excellent with customers and willing to travel! Although I have made more money as a consultant than this position pays, I’d like to become an employee for the long run, and work remotely, when possible, for a reputable firm. Call me Monday and let’s discuss how we can work together! Thanks much. - Matt 916-599-8597 - Skills: Help Desk/Technical Support, SQL Server 2000/2005/2008, Windows Server 2000/2003/2008, T-SQL Scripts, troubleshooting permission, security, & connectivity issues, troubleshooting WPF & WCF application Date Posted: 7-14-2012 Location: Denver, CO Area Code: 303 Tax Term: FULLTIME Pay Rate: $45,000-60,000/year Length: Full Time Position ID: DC Dice ID: 10209621 Travel Required: 25% Telecommute: yes --- 12:08 Cindy Raleigh at 702-645-9860 or craleigh@zycron.com. http://seeker.dice.com/jobsearch/servlet/JobSearch?op=302&dockey=xml/f/4/f45e224e969a120d92505f15c9d276de@endecaindex&source=19&FREE_TEXT=vb&rating=99 Job Application: PRODUCT SPECIALIST (Prod_Spec_MA) Hi Cindy, Please consider me for the PRODUCT SPECIALIST job you have posted for Zycron in Boston. As you'll see from my resume (attached), I am VERY well qualified for this position! I have healthcare experience, lots of training and support experience, VB/VBA programming, MCP (also attached), I'm excellent with customers and willing to learn and grow with this job! I'd be happy to provide you with as many work samples as you'd like to see, as I've done hundreds, maybe thousands, of screen-based automations. I have been a consultant for years, and MOST of my 80+ jobs have been done remotely. I'd very much like to settle down to become an employee for the long run, and establish myself with a reputable firm. Call me Monday and let's discuss how we can work together! Thanks much. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 12:23 http://jobview.monster.com/VBA-Consulting-Washington-DC-Long-term-Job-Washington-DC-112084107.aspx rcgjobs@rcggs.com JOB ID: 896787SD - VBA Consulting Hi. Please consider me for the VBA Consulting job you have posted for RCG Global in Washington, D.C. As you'll see from my resume (attached), I am VERY well qualified for this position! I have tons of VB/VBA design and development experience, SQL Server and ODBC, queries and ETL data extractions, I'm an MCP (also attached), I'm excellent with customers and writing documentation, and I'm willing to learn and grow with this job! I'd be happy to provide you with as many work samples as you'd like to see, as I've done many complete apps in MS Office (both Access and Excel). I have been a consultant for years, but I'd very much like to settle down to become an employee for the long run, and establish myself with a reputable firm. Call me Monday and let's discuss how we can work together! Thanks much. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- Applied to: http://www.cybercoders.com/Apply.aspx?JobID=SB1-Visualbasic&ad=MSSarahBoutwell Database Analysis and Structural Design, SQL Server DBA, MS Access Development I'm a VBA DBA! --- 3:35 http://jobview.monster.com/Hands-on-Database-Developer-DBA-Architect-Job-danville-CA-US-112016139.aspx Please read the job description below and tell us why you are a great fit for this position. Hi. As you'll see from resume, I've done over 80 projects, working with database design and development for over 20 years now. I understand the concepts well. I've had a number of jobs specifically doing ETL, which requires conversion and mapping. I've had DBA jobs for EDD, Wells Fargo and Autodesk which required extensive data cleanup, and I've creating databases, from scratch, since I started. I understand data, I like data, and I'm good at manipulating data. I haven't had much experience in load-balancing, but I understand the concept and I'm sure I'll pick it up quickly. What is: a) Desired salary for this position? b) Your current/last base salary and total annual compensation including bonuses/commissions? c) Reason for seeking new employment? I have been a consultant for years, but I'd very much like to settle down and become an employee for the long run, and establish myself with a reputable firm. At my last 3 jobs I made $60+/hour, which comes out to $115k/year. Since I'd be an employee, with benefits, I'd be happy with $100k, to start. I see that you offer bonuses, and I can assure you, I am easily $$-motivated, so I'll want to earn those! What is your experience with designing database applications, such as interfaces, data transfer mechanisms, global temporary tables, data partitions, and function-based indexes to enable efficient access of the generic database structure? I'd say Advanced, over all. Very good at interfaces, data transfer, temp tables, in indexes. Will need to learn your specific needs and make it happen. What is your experience as a DBA? Good. Like I said, I've done many of the dba roles, in different jobs. Your environment sounds cool, to me... with a good combination of design, development and management. I like people, so I work well in a team-environment. Here's the only catch... I live in Fort Bragg, above SF... so I'll have to commute down to San Ramon and stay there during the week. I've done this many times - in Sacramento, San Jose, Palo Alto, SF, and San Rafael, so San Ramon is fine. We have a motorhome that I can stay in, or I've also rented a 'commuter room' (fully furnished, weekdays only), which works well. Call me and let's discuss this position. It sounds like a very good match! - Matt 916-599-8597 --- EQ at Work concepts work with, not for >> write down all the dif. EQ concepts in the One word one count 'em and post 'em --- Taleo m@2gh/2gh >> finish HealthNet app >> try posting 2 ENTRIX apps, again (won't submit) --- 4:10 FB-MCR Matt Perelstein Today was my fault, Roger, as it was my idea not to go... I only heard people dropping and nobody confirming, so we cancelled. Let's plan on going next Sunday, whoever can make it. So, Jim, did we lose all credibility, or can we try again? Will you be around, Dennis? --- started IMS case study, due tomorrow to discuss with Josh and Sheeva(sp?) I can do this. in fact, I shoulda been doing it all day, rather than applying for jobs woulda been such a much better day! ... but ... what I really shoulda done was gone to Ukiah with Roger to play racquetball. damn it. Riding bikes was super fun, tho! --- Maturity is not about speaking big things. It is about understanding small things. --- 4 - 8:13 Wrote MOTORCYCLES with RR and JJ!(!)! sooo much fun! Honda 250 4-stroke PR's Yamaha 125 2-stroke RR's Honda 85 2-stroke (wow!) JJ's Honda 50 ... and RR said to keep the 250 in our shed, and ride it anytime!!! Yeehaa! --- 8:38 LI-EIN If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Ok, gang, from our 135 responses so far, below is our entire unique list, in alpha order. Those with a "*" in front were mentioned the most. I think this list makes a very powerful statement for what EQ really is, and can be! Nice work, all. What else can/should we do with this list?!? Actualisation Acumen Adaptability Altruism Assertiveness Awake Aware *Awareness Balance Benevolence Caring Clever Colorful Common Sense *Compassion Congruence Connection Conscience Consider Control Cool Cooperation Core-awareness Deep *Empathy Empathetic Enliver Ethical Fairness Feedback Feeling Focus Freedom Generosity Giving Grace Grounded Harmony Healthy Heart Honesty Human Humane Humanity Influence Inner-Direction In-sight Integrity Intelligence Intuition Kindness Leadership Listen Listening Love Maturity Me! Mindful *Mindfulness Open-mindedness Openness Optimistic Peace-of-mind Perceptive Positivity Power Presence Present Prioritize Receptivity Reciprocity Rectitude Resilience Respect Responsible Responsibility Self-Control Self-Mastery Self-Realization Self-Reflection Self-Regulation Sensitivity Street Smart Thoughtfulness Transformation Transparency Trust Understanding Vision Warm Wisdom Withitness World-changing ... and, of course... Supercalifragalisticexbealidocious! (from my favorite movie of all times, "Mary Poppins"!) --- CBT works well... but CABT works even better, and deeper, and more permanently. Cognitive (left-brain, logic) Behavioural (thoughts effect behaviours) Therapy now add the add the A = Affective to make: Cognitive (left-brain IQ) + Affective (right-brain EQ) + Behavioural ('cause behind every behaviour are thots and feelings) Head-Heart-Hand, change one, they all 3 change IQ + EQ = LOL !! Awareness Acceptance Action we, american males, suck at BOTH the first 2 A's. we know not what we feel. we can't name 'em. we can't separate 'em, and we don't know what do with/about 'em... Clueless Court's where we live, emotionally. we're great at taking Action, tho. Not inspired, or well thought-out, nor helpful action sometimes, but certainly action. That's why it's almost all GUYS in jail, and addicts, and suicides, and abusers. we know not what we do. and that's not Ok, any longer. without education, emotions can be a most dangerous thing. please, we need to show, to tell, to entertain, to elicit, to stimulate we can do better. we know better. we are better. let's do better, together. let's get all the togethers, together, too. unite the non-profits of the world. many are in competition for the philanthropic dollar. but if we work together, to build USEFUL stuff for people, that matters we can do good. we're not gonna get away from the money-making part of it, anytime soon. by definition, there are a limited wealth to go around... so it's fight. --- dinner, alone salad, broccoli, torts, salsa, corn "The Social Network" -- most watched of 2011 and 2012! love that movie. inspires me. VC's are reachable! --- 11:29 I am respected (not a lot, but it's a start) on: - FB-EIN - LI-EIN - 6 Sec - FB-NDW - FB-ND - FB-EQRocks! you're doin' good, laddie. --- VC's decide if they wanna invest in you, or not. it's their money, they can do with it as they please. can we have some money, please? millions. ummmmm..... ok. head-heart-hand I realize I'm pushing the 3-year time limit, but I can assure you, I've been working on this for well over a year now... doing revision after revision, starting over, improving, expanding. this is, and will be, the largest project known to man. I believe in the inherant good in people, for the most part, and I'd like to act the way I believe. I'm mostly gonna trust people, until they give me reason not to. I'm on the board of our non-profit. If you do your due dilegence, here's what you're gonna find... our taxes aren't paid up. I lost 2 jobs, Paula's been working 2, and she's exhausted. They have 4 women to work 100 miles of coastal towns... and since California is cutting services, they're being called on to more and more... mental health, restraining orders (avg. 5/wk-- yikes!), court appointments (she beat a high-powered atty the other day, and was most proud). We're just regular people. I'm not that great of a businessman. But I feel VERY strongly, that this needs to happen, whether I lead, or someone else does. I'm an idea guy, but we'll need to make a LOT of things happen. Let's get together reach out to the entertainment industry to the federal, state and local governments to the We complain about the politicians, but they're trying their best. Let's act like we're on the same team and help them more than fight them. Pull people together to consciously HELP each other. But I believe we'll get it caught up. credit's ok, as we were just refinanced, yesterday, saving over $600/mo... woohoo! --- (unused wording to Nykia and Shane) done but I need help getting it finished. actually, please read it (it's only 6 pages), and get the gist. the headings in bold are set by them. the biggest issue is that it can only be 3 pages, max. and we only get one chance at this. you two are the brightest people I know, and you both know/understand about writing. Here's the thing with VC's (venture capitalists)... it's their money, and they will give it to whomever they darned well please, or not. So, we're talking TO them. 3 ladies, one of whom will be on our board, should they agree to this. I'd like one or both of you to be on our board, as well. You guys exemplify our answer to tomorrow... young, smart, super high EQ, personally powerful, engaging, bright, smiley, purposly-positive, loving, healthy (physically, mentally and emotionally) and all around cool people. but here's the thing... I think we need to scrap it and start over. I think it's bigger than I said the first time around. You'll see that what I'm talking about now is the #1 largest, most profound world-changing project ever conceived. We're going to change the very structure, restitch the fabric of our lives. - I want us to choose. to take a stand. Are you a good guy or a bad guy. if you say you're a good guy, but act like a bad guy, results rule, words fool. Join the family. Take the stand. Pitch in your $19.95. - what happens after they pitch in? become an EQer. Stand up, and state to the world that you are, in fact, a good guy. a trustworthy human who pulls his weight, gives as much as he receives and is kind to children and animals... by default. EQers are not perfect, they just learn from their mistakes (hopefully). EQers are not perfect, just forgiven, by themselves, or not, if they haven't learned their lesson yet. EQers are not perfect, consciously. EQers are not perfect... too much pressure... too many 'shoulds'. EQers unite. We will not go quietly into the night. - The Prez (Bill Daniels) in Independence Day right before they took off to attack the aliens 1. Collect resources and establish best practices Business Public Schools (SEL) Relationships / Parenting / Couples Healing Communications Leadership 2. Network like-minded people together to accomplish more. 3. Get entertainment, governments, Suicide - in horrible pain and know not what to do with it. We help them dump it all... blammmm... on the floor. poof, they feel better, more hopeful, more confident from their success with a huge new tools to deal with themselves and their lives better, from here on. 1. We understand themselves better Now, I see what to do. Now I see how I got to feel this way Now it all makes sense. Now "I" make sense, to me. if I can have Empathy for me, myself, as a kid, yes, my inner child, then (and only then) can I have real empathy for others. If we can re-experience what that little boy/girl went thru, the biggest underlying belief that comes from these life-traumas is separation, aloneness, distance, apart, not a part, different, wierd, or worse, less than, shamed, dirty, bad. Kids wants someone to understand, and appreciate, and NOT ABANDON THEM, ever... to be by their side and on their side... to feel loved and accepted and included. Our inner-child needs an advocate, a champion, a big bro/sis, a parent, a hero. To heal, WE, as adults, CAN BE A CHAMPION for our inner child. We can provide the largest missing piece in a child's development. We can Release all our pain that got stuck down inside... left to fester and rot over the years. Time does NOT necessarily heal... we just make do, and avoid, and skip over certain tender areas of our lives. It's like we have this beautiful pasture of grass that is the expanse of our mind... and it's pure, and clean, and wholesome, and you feel safe to play around in the grass, and even roll down the hills. But then someone dumps some nasty trash in the middle of the field. yuck. sharp stuff. rotten stuff. once whole and beautiful, it's now broken stuff. ugly stuff, that doesn't look good and it doesn't feel good. So, you start avoiding that area of your field. Now, instead of freely frollicking and goofing around, feeling safe, you now have to pay attention, and avoid this one area... or it will cut you. So, over time, this area where you no longer go has grown grass... it even grows up around, over and thru the trash, even covers and hides it, so you can't really see it anymore. WE CAN HEAL OURSELVES! --- 7.16 Monday 00:09 Christine P. commented on By many published accounts, Steve Jobs had low EI. Extremely insensitive, he had few qualms, stole people's ideas, insulted his people... Good discussion! Regarding Jobs, I just finished watching the 60 Minutes rerun of the interview with Walter Isaacson. At the conclusion, I wondered out loud; how does someone who is emotionally volatile get so many people on board with their pursuits? I don’t know the details of Jobs’ life (other than the Apple products), but from what I’ve read, he seemed very decisive and sure of himself (even if he occasionally high jacked someone else’s ideas). People are willing to follow leaders who can make hard decisions quickly, are charismatic, and are always in forward motion to achieve a worthwhile collective goal; even if the followers have to put up with a little crazy behavior along the way. Somehow somewhere there is a seed of security in following a dynamic person like that. --- >> ask for help at least once a day paid is fine, but ask >> Nykia and Shane, D-R --- Josh, we need a resource site! let's take the leadership. In LI-EIN, there are some real pros as far as how to run companies leadership how to use intention and personal connection to motivate, encourage and succeed. decision-making how to think, clearly and powerfully communications strategies marketing competition relationships purpose style competition, internal and external --- snooze... --- Josh, we need a resource site! --- slept here, in my chair then on the floor behind me, on Bella's bed 06 up, e's orders 07 pkp up, coffee egg salad finish orders 08 pkp to work, with orders, and movies "The Social Network" for a bit. 09:01 time to do the Case Study --- EQ http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-full-interview-nov-2011 HBR "Emotional Intelligence is an evolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea!" --- - every day, go thru LI and each of the FB pages and groups, and say something, or add to something. to each, each day/every other day. --- FB-ND Name: New Directions: Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Life-Changing Bootcamp About: In just one immersive weekend, begin to heal your past, enjoy your present and take charge of your future like never before Company Overview was: We believe that love is the answer! We believe that, no matter how badly you've been hurt, if you'll let yourself feel it, you CAN heal it... all of it! We believe that we can live happy, successful lives by finding out as much as we can about US, ourselves, our bodies, our feelings, our minds and our soul. Our goal is to journey inwards and to share the wonder and JOY of having high Emotional Intelligence! We believe that EQ training is the best possible gift we can give ourselves... to create a loving, supportive world in which people are not only more successful but happier and more aware of themselves and others. We help both adults and teens learn about themselves, so they can have satisfying relationships, professional success, fulfilling love and joy in their lives. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com now: (ND Brochure) EQ is the new YOU! EQ is about emotional intelligence, using the right-side of our brains, like never before, to find Joy and power, and passion and love in life. AND, using our right-brain also helps us in relationships, and families and with our friends, AND using our right-brain helps motivate us, and work better with people, and enjoy our job/career/calling more, and get more sales, and work smarter and get better results, AND using our right-brain cuts down on crime, and suicides, and addictions, and violence (someday, maybe even war!) Get a clue, about EQ. - First, you'll be given an Assessment test to see where you are in your EQness. - Next, you'll be given a 223-page e-book to read called "Taking Control of Your Life" by Myron 'Doc' Downing, Ph.D., LMFT (paperbacks available), which explains how our right-brain works, emotionally, how feelings are created and gives powerful techniques in know/accept/express our feelings in productive, healthy ways. - Third, there's a form to complete, like a journal, that asks you to describe some of your past, so we can get to know you better. We're all the same in some ways, but we're very unique in others, so it's important that we get to know YOU, and what YOU decided about life. - Next, you'll make an appt for a phone call to talk to one of our instructors by phone: a. get to know him/her, builds your trust b. they get to know you a bit, to help them work better with you. (how you feel now) c. you can figure out goals for yourself for the weekend (what you would like to feel), and get feedback and support on achieving them - duuum, de-dum, dum: ND! The big weekend. Here we go, Friday night about 6:45, arrive, take a seat, and You know the bumper sticker: "Get in, sit down, shut up, and hang on"? well ND is more like: "Get in, sit down, open up, and dump it out!" For example, Doc teaches us that we can be hoppin', screamin' angry in a way that actually brings people closer to you, rather than scaring them away... super-healthy for you and your relationships... hint, all statements start with "I feel...", 'cause feelings aren't arguable). When it comes to healing, and to activating our right-brain, alot of it is about Feelings. So, we have Thoughts, right? The words we hear all day long to guide us and show us what's what. We know those --- outstanding contracts past due debt $553.59 Valley Yellow pages 'business closed VYP needs to see that, gotta get 'final bill' from AT&T to give to VYP. "ok, but you better make it quick, 'cause it's in collections" that's the 3rd or 4th time I've said that same thing, with the same result. --- Hi Matt, Yes, the 19th is still open and it would be great if you do it. If you go to the office at about 9 on the 19th Nancy Harris will give you the money and tally sheets etc. Rehearsal starts at 10 and so it would be good to be set up before then. She can also give you a voucher for tickets. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you for doing this. Best, Arlene --- HFC $911.09 June is overdue July 24th $555.73 setup 6 transactions --- Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Annie McKee, Richard Boyatzis http://hbr.org/2001/12/primal-leadership-the-hidden-driver-of-great-performance/ar/1 When the theory of emotional intelligence at work began to receive widespread attention, we frequently heard executives say—in the same breath, mind you—“That’s incredible,” and, “Well, I’ve known that all along.” They were responding to our research that showed an incontrovertible link between an executive’s emotional maturity, exemplified by such capabilities as self-awareness and empathy, and his or her financial performance. Simply put, the research showed that “good guys”—that is, emotionally intelligent men and women—finish first. --- 11:05 Nykia and Shane Dude and Dudette, Hi. Will you help me, please? I'm lousy at asking for help, but this is too important to put off any longer, and I'm not getting 'er done, alone. Here's my request: As you know, we need to spread EQ world-wide and I just might have a way to make that happen. I have a proposal from a venture capital firm in San Francisco who only funds projects that are going to make a social impact on at least our country, if not the world. (are you familiar with Kiva, who took business micro-loans to 3rd world countries? That's one of their major successes). A draft of my answers to their questions is attached. Please take a skim, it's 6 pages, but can only be only 3 when submitted. Also attached are some of my research links, as we'll need to quantify and 'prove' our case for EQ, as best we can. The concepts in the app are good, but I think we need to start over and talk about how to make a foundational shift in human consciousness via bringing EQ to the world. The more we find out about EQ -- and the far-reaching effects in can have on our personal, social, intellectual, spiritual, financial, even physical lives -- is astounding. I just heard this this morning... Harvard Business Review: "Emotional Intelligence is an evolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea!" http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-full-interview-nov-2011 This shouldn't take all that long to finish... it's only 3 pages... but it's gotta be powerful, and clear, and attainable. Will you help (at least with the initial layout)? Thanks! Let me know your thoughts. - Matt p.s. - Here's the thing about VC's (venture capitalists)... it's their money, and they will give it to whomever they darned well please, or not. So, we're talking TO them http://www.drkfoundation.org. 3 ladies, one of whom will be on our board, should they agree to this. I'd like one or both of you to be on our board, as well. You guys exemplify our answer to tomorrow... young, smart, super high EQ, personally powerful, engaging, bright, smiley, purposely-positive, loving, healthy (physically, mentally and emotionally) and all around cool people. p.p.s. - I believe someone's birthday is coming up real soon... is that correct?! Anyone we know (and love)?!? =:^ ) --- Sharon Davis Hi Sharon. I'll be paying you out of a PayPal account. Do you have a PayPal account that I can send the money to, or should I send it to your email address puddingcreek@sbcglobal.net, and you can get it that way? So, what else do you suggest? I was disappointed with the results of the radio shows (NOT your fault)... I was on the radio for 2 full hours, and didn't get a single response. I know that partly it's me, and my unclear call-to-action message. What else can I do? Thanks! - Matt --- 11:32 LI-EIN Karen L. commented on Does Shopping Make Us Happy? Well, for one thing, shopping is the #1 tourist activity. Shopping is a good way to explore the culture of the destination you are visiting, and perhaps bring home a piece of jewelry/art that will provide a good conversation piece in your home. Secondly, shopping provides a great bonding activity for mothers and daughters. It is not so important that a purchase is made. It is about the time that is spent together, offering a casual environment for conversation. That said, I do love to shop! Even if I don't purchase, I love to wander around and see the colors, feel the textures, wonder at the artistic window displays. - Josh P. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? I'm Josh Phillips, a retired police lieutenant and currently an instructor in the Leadership Center of the North Carolina Justice Academy. The Academy is a state agency that provides advanced training for law enforcement officers in N.C. We have two campuses and I work at the Salemburg campus. I teach EI as a part of all my leadership courses. I also have a web-based course, "Developing Your Emotional Intelligence," which has been well received. - Nina D. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? I'm Nina Douglas, a graphic designer south of Seattle. My IQ is fine. EQ, not so much. I'm hoping to learn something from people who may be a bit more social than I am - Ana Cristina S. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi. I'm Ana Cristina. I'm a portuguese psychologist. I live near Lisbon, Portugal. I'm doing a doctoral tesis in Emotional Intelligence. I'm interested in developmental EQ in young people as a transformational approach to a new adult successful people. I'm looking here to being a part of a grow up discussion group. - Donald K. commented on What is the most important social skill that emotionally intelligent people have? Putting yourself on hold while trying to find out what the other person wants or is trying to get at. This seems to be a major obstacle when whoever thinks 'cause they think so it is so. Patience, humility, empathy, tolerance count a lot for me. --- When Emotional Reasoning Trumps IQ by Roderick Gilkey, Ricardo Caceda, and Clinton Kilts http://hbr.org/2010/09/when-emotional-reasoning-trumps-iq/ar/1 people view strategic reasoning as a high-level executive function of the brain and tactical thought as a discrete, lower-level activity. But the two kinds of thinking are linked in an important way: They both draw considerably on social-emotional reasoning, particularly in the brains of the most adept strategic thinkers. Indeed, strategic thought entails at least as much emotional intelligence as it does IQ. In a recent study we conducted with Diana Robertson and Andrew Bate of the Wharton School, we asked managers in an executive MBA program to react to fictional strategic and tactical management dilemmas and measured their brain activity using functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI. Instead of simply identifying which parts of the brain “lit up” in response to particular tasks, we looked at how the brain regions were interacting. The area of the brain people tend to associate with strategic thought is the prefrontal cortex, known for its role in executive function. It allows humans to engage in anticipation, pattern recognition, probability assessment, risk appraisal, and abstract thinking. Those abilities do help managers solve problems. However, when we examined the best strategic performers in our sample, we found significantly less neural activity in the prefrontal cortex than in the areas associated with “gut” responses, empathy, and emotional intelligence (that is, the insula, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the superior temporal sulcus). In other words, the conscious executive function was downplayed—while regions associated with unconscious emotion processing operated more freely. --- 1:25 "Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi --- 2-2:20 lunch. broccolli, torts, --- Gwen Hi. No, it doesn't. I looked at the source on the homepage, and saw the Google+ code at the bottom, but not the --- 3 R's in 53 Resistance, Resentment, Revenge --- Yvonne: there are some jobs out there, but lots of applicants, too. Have a 2nd interview tomorrow in downtown SF. I don't want to work in SF, or in the south bay... rather in Sac (or better yet, at home!)... so we'll see. Paula's kiinda freakin' about money, as you can imagine. --- Military Suicide: Help for Families Worried About Their Service Member http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/12/military-suicide-help-for-families-worried-about-their-service-member/ Every day, one active-duty service member dies by his own hand, the authors note: “The U.S. military seldom meets an enemy it cannot target, cannot crush, cannot put a fence around or drive a tank across. But it has not been ale to defeat or contain the epidemic of suicides among its troops.” --- Quotes on Happiness http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Happiness-Quotes-Quotes-About-Joy-Quotes-About-Happiness Happiness is there for the taking, and making - Oprah Very little is needed to make a happy life. - Marcus Aurelius True happiness is an acceptance of life as it is given to us, with its dimishment, mystery, uncontrollability, and all. - Michael Gellert Happiness is in your ability to love others. - Leo Tolstoy True happiness involves the pursuit of worthy goals. Without dreams, without risks, only a trivial semblance of living can be achieved. - Dan Buettner Happiness, not in another place, but this place... not for another hour, but for this hour. - Walt Whitman The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. - Victor Hugo --- worked on IMS PPT (27 slides) all afternoon, and evening! posted to FB lots of good luck wishes! 11:38 to bed for a bit then off to IMS 2nd interview in SF. --- 7.17 03 up and shower 03:33 go... 07ish got there (surprisingly little traffic) breakfast at Mel's diner on Lombard --- 7.18 slept and drove slept and drove 04:05 home and slept more (in the car) 06 Bud found me and woke me up 06:50 FB-EIN Here's the best video I've seen... might be a good at-home assignment, Saima. It's the man himself, Daniel Goleman, speaking to Google's midline managers about the power and need for EQ in the workplace. If EQ can help Google (most successful company in history), maybe it can help them, too. Best wishes! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k (55 min) 06:54 HB to Alicia Holiman (Harney) Happy Birthday, Alicia H! And CONGRATS on your wedding -- you look amazing (and amazingly happy) -- and you deserve it all! Take care and enjoy (yet another) special day! --- Load WPresponder to do an AR via WP --- "When I thought I couldn't go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck." - Estee Lauder "I challenge you to make your life like a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk." - Anthony Robbins --- Stephen R. Covey, author of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," has died in Idaho three months after a serious bicycle accident in Utah. Sad news: We lost one of the great thought leaders of our day. I never heard Stephen mention EQ, per se, but his 7 Habits are an excellent meld of IQ and EQ to get things done. Forever grateful! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk Stephen Covey, the author of the best-selling book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,”died early Monday morning at 79 years old, according to The Associated Press. --- Melinda --- Dejan Slibar Mejaceva 11a Borovnica 1353 Slovenia Hi Dejan, I received your order for fresh Eucs -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Please allow 1-2 weeks for delivery. I will vacuum seal the bag of leaves, which should help somewhat. I must have PayPal setup incorrectly because it only charged half of the shipping fee, but that's my fault. I'll still ship them. We've had trouble a few times with customs. Since it's agriculture coming into the country, they have destroyed the contents and (sometimes) notified the recipient. We have no control there... Anyway, thanks again for the order. Enjoy your Eucs (and let me know how they look when they get there). - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- maybe I got jobs, 'cause it was time to get jobs maybe I'm not getting jobs, 'cause it's time to not get a job. ... it's time to MAKE ONE! it's 11:34 I did a proposal for $1k, in the next week. what else can I do? where else can I earn? >> Do EQRocks like Simpleology! do the business plan this way. show hwo they do it. Free Modules Pro Modules Elite Modules do it! it's a class system to change your life to make it better, cleaner, more focussed and for real. --- 11:49 Excellent, Jerry -- we will build you a powerful app! ... and I am proud to count you as one of my customers! (yay for soccer ref'ing) I like the due data list concept... I'll these into a table of it's own (that you can easily edit in the future). Then, when you or Marie choose the Project Type from a drop down list, it will automatically calc the due date(s), and show the extension limits. cool. Would it be possible to do half now, and half upon successful project completion (probably by the 30th)? See you 3-3:30, and I'll bring a prototype of the data entry form. If you could list the reports, and what title/fields/totals/groupings/order you'd like on each, that would be most helpful. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: BillQuick Customization From: "Jerry Murphy" Date: Wed, July 18, 2012 11:31 am To: Matt, The project sounds pretty good to me and I will be here until about 4 this afternoon. Attached is a quick and dirty due date list that I came up with for this project. We can discuss the particulars as needed today. Jerry --- at 5 pm and have them show up at 5:30 pm --- 12:16 Done (or started, at least). Sorry 'bout that lousy, unfinished feeling. Since there ain't a darn thing you can or will do about the bookkeeping during your camp, PLEASE enjoy the moment, and let things go for 6 days! I know it's easier said than done, but try taking a conscious deep breath every time you remind yourself, to help both your body and mind to remember. Had a good interview yesterday for a job with a world-wide medical billing firm (IMS Health) in SF, but I'm still looking to work at home if at ALL possible (like being MFF ED!). I'm ready for my first management job, if we can get me paid, I would put my heart and soul into MFF (...and get the bookkeeping off of you!). Maybe VNC will get their additional funding and we would be a no-brainer. :) So, have a nice time... and I'll let you know how everyone votes. I'm assuming the BOD will be at your home, correct? Take care my friend! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hi. From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Tue, July 17, 2012 2:51 pm To: Hi Matt, I’ve been thinking of you also and would love to get together for a chat. However, I’ve been on a trip last week and now I leave again for 6 days with the lousy feeling that I’m so far behind that I’ll never catch up. I’ve not been able to do a thing about MFF this month except pay bills and reconcile the bank statement. But a week or 10 days after I get back let’s meet for a chat about things. We need to have an MFF meeting in early August. Would you use Ann’s famous Wiki to let us all vote on availability for a weekday meeting? I’d sure appreciate it if you could do that for us. We need to vote on 3 new members and they should be invited to the meeting as well. We can vote at 5 pm and have them show up at 5:30 pm. Maybe we should poll the existing board to see if this meets with their approval. I’d be grateful if you would do this for me. I’ll be at a camp and totally out of touch for the next 6 days starting at 3pm tomorrow. So if need be I can be reached tomorrow by phone (480-3460) before 2 pm. In the meantime I’ll look forward to seeing you in a few days. I sure don’t enjoy this feeling of getting so far behind in both personal and MFF stuff. How is your search for contracts shaping up? Cal has let you down twice now and you’re entitled! Best, PK From: matt@2gethelp.com Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 1:06 PM To: Paul Kemp Subject: Hi. Hi Paul, I've been thinking about you lately, so thought I'd drop you a note to see how you are feeling these days, especially with all the travel. Hope you and Nancy are well. - Matt --- 12:25 Val I just read this... guess where I'm going next?!? We need to write-up a set 'program' of healing for veterans, get that funded and make it happen. - Matt --- The American Marketing Association (AMA), American Marketing Association Foundation (AMAF) and The NonProfit Times have recognized Anne Marie Dougherty, executive director of the Bob Woodruff Foundation, as the 2012 Nonprofit Marketer of the Year. “It’s humbling; I was honored to be nominated and surprised to win,” said Dougherty. “Certainly it’s a milestone for me in my career and given me the opportunity to articulate what my journey has been at the Bob Woodruff Foundation,” she said. She will be honored during the 2012 AMA/AMAF Nonprofit Marketing Conference, which runs today through Wednesday at the Marriott Wardman Park in Washington, D.C. Dougherty joined the Bob Woodruff Foundation in 2008, becoming executive director in December 2011. Prior to being executive director, she was deputy director of marketing and communications, spearheading the foundation’s initial brand, messaging, communications, fundraising and marketing strategy. “I had the opportunity to start with something very small and stick with it to build it into a multimillion-dollar national nonprofit,” she said in a recent interview with The NonProfit Times. The Woodruff Foundation’s annual event, Stand Up for Heroes, “was my first stab at really owning the event,” said Dougherty. Not only did the fundraiser generate an extra half-million dollars in donations that night, but overall the organization enjoyed its best year ever, raising more than $3.2 million. The five-year-old organization awarded nearly 140 grants to more than 60 organizations, with plans to distribute another $2 million this year. “We are turning the corner from a small startup to an enduring national leader of veterans’ nonprofits,” Dougherty wrote in her nomination form. Dougherty initiated the public awareness movement ReMIND in 2009 and has managed five nationally recognized Stand Up for Heroes events, raising more than $10 million in all to support wounded warriors and their families. The foundation was an early adopter of Twitter, launching a Tweet to ReMIND campaign in May 2009, which raised more than $100,000 in 60 hours through micro-donations and tweets, asking for donations of $5.25 (the date, 5/25, of Memorial Day that year). In the past year, the Woodruff Foundation has had more than 56,000 visitors to its website, and now boasts more than 4,300 followers on Twitter and almost 5,000 Likes on Facebook. Dougherty was nominated by Foundation board member Marian Salzman, CEO of Euro RSCG World PR, who she described as a “guiding force on the board,” pushing the organization to adopt and use social media. “She really helped us craft a fundraiser, before fundraising was the norm on Twitter,” said Dougherty. “Using Twitter as an awareness platform gave us a good base of followers. Now we’re making sure we use Twitter to host a dialogue, and the same with Facebook. Use social media to talk about our cause, what we’re doing, and keep the needs of injured service members part of the dialogue,” said Dougherty. Being recognized as AMA’s Marketer of the Year is a “great opportunity to keep the conversation around what our cause is,” she said. Dougherty credited the foundation’s board members for their “knowledge, expertise and collective brilliance” that she’s been able to harvest. “I think that’s why the foundation is thriving,” she said. “I think we’re really going to be doing a marketing facelift on the organization and really digging into the social activation piece and taking our social media presence to the next level,” said Dougherty. The foundation raised more than $4 million last year, and almost $15 million since its inception. “The key ingredient to all this success was building relationships and leveraging the good will of a few to do good for many,” Dougherty said in her nomination submission. “Much of our marketing is pro bono. To have the reach and impact we boast is based purely on finding and using opportunities for corporate social responsibility, free ad or air space, pro bono agency support, and having the foresight to move on from campaigns that aren’t achieving the desired impact,” she said. Barely a month after being appointed co-anchor of ABC’s “World News Tonight,” Bob Woodruff was reporting near Taji, Iraq on Jan. 29, 2006 when he was seriously injured by a roadside bomb that struck his vehicle. The foundation is a leading nationally recognized organization that invests in innovative community-based programs that promote and provide meaningful activity and assistance to post-9/11 injured service members, veterans and their families. --- 12:35 thx! (I like having you to share stuff with!) hey, I created a grand outta nothing this morning... and, will pick up a check for $500 in a few hours (we surely need it). I was consciously aware of my kingness yesterday in those interviews -- thanks again for the reminder! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: app gig From: Robin Skrzypek Date: Wed, July 18, 2012 12:09 pm To: Matt Perelstein ahh very cool. Nibbling starting to happen as I've seen over the years. The question is now can you make a product out of what your doing to resell to other CPA'ers..... Keep in mind I haven't read what the product is and how custom it is to this client.. Great Job. Robin Skrzypek --- FB-ND Matt Perelstein Ok, I'm off (at 3am) for a 2nd interview tomorrow morning in downtown San Francisco. Wish me luck, as I've been outta work for over a month now (longest ever)! Like · · Unfollow Post · Monday at 10:57pm Megan LeAnne McIntyre and Julie Bower like this. Anthony Ambra Good luck Matt you got this:):):)!!! Monday at 10:58pm via mobile · Like Janet Tafoya-Gilchrist Positive thinking sent yiour way... Monday at 11:06pm · Like Janie Monsalve Shogren I wish you luck, Matt!. How could they not love you? Monday at 11:13pm via · Like · 1 Gay Storm If it's right for you, you'll get it. Love and light are going out to you. Monday at 11:31pm · Like Glori Celis Good luck Matt. I hope it works out for you. Monday at 11:58pm via mobile · Like Michelle Pauls Sending you energy and blessings for this job or something better Yesterday at 7:40am · Like Melann Kenel GOOD LUCK..SMILE!' Yesterday at 8:51am via mobile · Like THANKS, you guys... as you know, it means a lot to me to have your support! So, the interview went really well, tho' it was different! They had me write a powerpoint presentation to describe how use THEIR software to solve a complex problem. It was intense (27 slides), but I did super - started with the concepts, then drilled down into detailed steps, included possible Next steps (that I made up), and boom. Now we wait "a week to 10 days" for them to decide -- ahhh -- livin' on ramen 'til then! --- Matt Perelstein Sorry to hear that, Frank... esp. since "more stuff to do at the house" is probably not a good thing, ey? Let's keep it to Thursday, at 6, at Silver's! Walt and Ginny (and Lin) already said they're coming, Brandi Smiley and Frank are not... who else?!? --- 3:33 - 4:16 FB Chat with Gwen July 16 7:21 pm now there are 2 s. it's before the 2nd one, but not the first one.. and I think it ignores the 2nd one sorry ...sec it seriously hates me I did it the same way I did mine and it does not cooperate darn mine is funky though it keeps pinging me and then loses me and only shows me up under the live beta it picks up if I went directly though site or though yahoo search but I can only get it to recognize though the real time beta thing frustrating sorry I gotta go sit in front of teh ac for a bit, heat bothering me, I will email in about this and see what I can figure out about placement : ) Thanks! sorry for the hassle. did you see those 2 new bird pics... they're excellent ones. Um, I added the testimonial but I am gonna have to add the pics as I only added the html and not new photos, lol thanks for reminding me no prob they are there now : ) Excellent! Well done July 18 Ok, I got it showing between the head tags, just not right before the closing head tag, so hopefull it will work. Upon checking mine today it is starting to track info. http://cinnamonstix-n-sugar.com/ If you view the source on mine it is similar to yours in positioning, so hopefully yours will begin tracking now. It may take a day to start showing results unless you go under the live beta view thing. LMK if this is showing as installed for you though cause from looking at it I would think it looks good from what I am looking at, fingers crossed now : ) Cinnamonstix-N-Sugar - Hand Tamed and Bra Trained Joeys from MN cinnamonstix-n-sugar.com July 19 poke poke....lmk if it is working today : ) Hey..., sorry... haven't been at the computer since last we talked. Checking now.. no worries, I just saw that you were online yep. volunteered at the Mendocino Music Festival today. nice energy there. : ) cool what's the link for adwords, again? can't find it right yet Adwords? analytics? whoops... log into your google, go to account and go to products no products. got it... sorry... mental lapse. it's hard changing gears some times *^&^%&^&^%$% Lol YES!!! Visits: 74 Unique Visitors: 68 Ok, it IOS working Pageviews: 236 IS* good thank heavens I was ready to yell lol avg. visit duration: 03:43 bounce rate 45% % new visits: 92% good job!!! persistance wins the day, again! YAY ME your willingness to keep going, to try dif. things, in order to finally succeed, is an awesome skill... that few people appreciate! that's how it's done. well and now we both have it lol yep. so there we go ha ha there we go. at 3:33 pm you rock! did you get a box from me recently? I did, going to try to get to getting some pics/vid tonight : ) and I will of course let you know, may be updating the front page vid soon to something actually viewable how are they? been having troubles with wilting this summer PLEASE DO... it's too darned dark! does that mean we got 68 visitors just since yesterday?!? that's a ton (to me) right? I have not opened it yet look at the date on the top and see what/how you are tracking if we got even 5-10% of them to buy, something, anything, wow. : ) and you can see how they connect to your site I'm thinking of doing a little sampler, under $10. which is noce, where they are from lmk, I can add whatever needs to be done I know I still need to do gift certs, it has been hot and sickly here lol whatchathink? maybe a sandwhich baggie of leaves, some chew sticks, and a tiny branch. If you like, get more, 10% off... have you ever looked into shipping ups? I know you were saying sometimes the shipping is not covered with what you charge I had to ship something to my mom and was like OMG when I seen the USPS postal rates to her right, no, it doesn't, but I'm thinking a 1st class envelope! should be about $1, maybe $2 in postage. skip the branch, $9.95 total. well I was saying for some of your big in states orders that go out maybe look int6o ups and see if it wold save money for you my only competition, in Australia, BudgieWorld.com, sent out all their leaf orders 1st class mail, about 5-6 small banana leaves, vacuum sealed, in a regular envelope... $5. the lowest USPS Priority rate is $6, but first class is as fast, if not faster, and it's way cheaper. no boxes, only envelopes. but I can get envelopes that'll hold quite a bit... Yeah, let's try it, shall we?!? well that is a small not exciting quantity yeah, but we market it as a Tester! you have know idea if your glider or bird will like Eucs... so Test it out! only $9.95 (total) to sample fresh Euc leaves and some small chew sticks. I will have to figure out how we need to do that with the shipping that auto calculates what I need to put cost at most gliders LOVE 'em, but now you can try it first. If it goes well, and you wanna get more, 15% off all orders, from then on. We could make the half-price page into a 15% off page. And that page would have no shipping! nice and simple. boom. when they order the Tester, we send them a link to the 15% off page (and ask 'em not to tell... it's our secret!... makes people feel more connected to us) yep well if we are going to do a 15% off page I would rather make a diff page and make it 15% and keep the 50% page up right! OR are you able to make discount codes for Pay Pal? yeah, I said it wrong, but that's what I meant I don't wanna mess with codes. It's super-simple to manage if we just give them a dif. link/page. ok ... besides, that way we can easily have No Shipping on that page, ey? idk about the free shipping though cause you have it auto calculated by weight or sonething, I don't remember we have to figure out how to get it to come up w/ free shipping then no wait... sorry... the 15% off page Does have shipping. the discount is off the package, not the postage. ok, I'll need to look into that... I'm hoping it's part of the code. ok well we put weights in the codes, maybe that is how we are determining postage? ok, so 0 lbs. maybe... for the trial pack yep and I will make a 15% off page Yay! thanks! do you want a free shipping page added? and you can limit to what is avail to order of course no. the free shipping is only on the trial pack... nothing else. I was mistaken in saying that. ... too many orders hasn't been a prob, yet! I'm hoping to have the problem some day! ok, so does that make the Starter pack, not a Starter pack? either that or you are an over achiever and the amount you get just does not bother you...lol idk how you do ALL that you do or is there Test1 $9.95 and Test2 $17.95? persistence!! (and not a lotta sleep) or, Starter pack, $9.95 (FREE Shipping)! 1/2 pound combo (formally known as the Starter) is $11.95 + shipping. whatchathink? what if we removed the "starter pack" cause it is ideally on the combo page new and improved starter pack, now only 9.95 1/4 lb. Starter Pack $9.95 1/2 lb. Combo Pack $11.95 + $6 postage = $11.95 1 lb. Combo $19.95 + 10 postage = $29.95 etc. 1/4 lb. Starter Pack $9.95 FREE Shipping! Try one today. yep. not sure if your pet birds or sugar gliders are going to like eucs? we now offer a smaller and cheaper starter pack, best thing yet, shipping is FREE, yes you read it right FREE. If you decided to keep ordering you can become one of our very loyal customers and are entitled to a special pricing of 15% of each following order YES!!!!! Beautiful! aallright then, 1/4 lb it will consist of what exactly? Join the EucProducts Family, by ordering a fresh Euc Starter pack. As a family member, get 15% for life on all orders! oh, and Seeds are always free with any order (if you think you've got a green thumb and wanna try to put Matt outta business! =:^) I'd like a Community! Glider people like to connect, and chat! Let's help 'em do just that. Already loyal customers please contact Matt to confirm your family status and recieve your perks oh... good idea! yessir! I have a LOT of ex-clients (prob. 97% of people only order once) have you ever sent out a mass email to the people that have ordered? and I have all their emails in PayPal. I extracted about 600 one time, and I have them in 1ShoppingCart, so we could send an email to 'em all. yes, twice. so-so results but it wasn't a very nice mailing. I did it, and it wasn't very professional looking. and they are older now... the newest 200-300 I didn't harvest yet... awaiting inspiration... and this could be it! also you may not know but glider turnover is icky, most people that do not keep gliders rehome within one year of getting into them, if they make it past the year they will probably keep them but many are rehomed within the first year, you could get new owner orders and then owners rehome and disappear never to order again what would you think about actively selling Eucs for me. I am willing share earnings! idk how bird people aer but I know a few people directly who have not been able to handle keeping gliders and got rid of them, it is quite a shame ? actively selling how? write to the loyal customers, post on the site, start conversations on Faceboo (we have over 340 likes), write to zoos (I think that could be a huge one, esp. for Stick Insects!), joining glider and bird sites and posting a classified/start conversations, find places to advertise, etc. I could probably work on that lol Might take a little bit of going to get going, but it could be good yes, it could. we both win, you work from home, whenever you wish, market something you already believe in, folks to get to enjoy their gliders more, and everyone wins! You ever read over my about me on my profile? I have eucs in there.....oppp.....but I need to change it, the Ebay store link is still there lol yep. I like how you write, and how you seem to like and respect people, AND you have passion for gliders, so I think you could/would represent EucProducts in a very nice way. : ) (I wouldn't say that to anybody... in fact, I had a lady who wanted to market Eucs for me, but I didn't like her energy and thanked her, and sent her packin'.) ahhh, lol well stinky to be her lol AND, you can change the site to match anything you want to talk about at the moment. We could have specials, and contests... in fact, I've been wanting to have a contest! Lots of people like to Build stuff... so we would supply the materials (eucs) and they make something cool out of it... and we vote. then, the winning entries get to sell their stuff on our site, which they buy from us, which is ANOTHER way for folks to enjoy their gliders, and once again, everyone wins. --- 55 West abaxix --- ANNOUNCEMENT! To thank you guys for your love and support, REVIEWERS, usually $249, only $99, this weekend only! We still need Assistants, but if you have some 'stuff' to work on, and you want to be sure to get some focus time, then Review, for less this time. We'll be there to help you get thru it all -- by next Monday, you'll be released and relaxed! Go here to get your paperwork, and to signup: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup One of my main 'issues' I've been working on lately is the 1st agreement... Don't Take Anything Personally... where I have always taken Everything personally! not good. not fun. not healthy. not productive. It's getting better, but it's been a tough one. Which one(s) are you working on? --- D-R >> graphics: Maslow EMFB Global approach right & left brain --- FB chat with Rima if we can teach people how to 'be' with us, what we need in order to survive/function/thrive, then relationships are better, we do better and everyone wins! --- What Snake venum does to blood -- yikes -- cooagulates into jello in 1 second! http://videosift.com/video/This-is-what-snake-venom-does-to-blood --- So, we just decided... this weekend... Reviewers only $99! Does that help for Jackson?!? payments are ok, too, or use a credit card at http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup/ ND Group Melann - Dwayne Anthony Jessica Nykia, Jessica Karen Patrick, Larry, Kimra, Terri, Todd 6:31 I just saw this and thought of you guys... What Snake venum does to blood -- yikes -- Pretty amazing! http://videosift.com/video/This-is-what-snake-venom-does-to-blood Also, ND is next weekend, July 27! You are all most welcome! Reviewers special, only $99 this class. - Matt --- 7.20 00:00 The Dark Night Rises Bri, Karlie, Katelynn so-so 0800 PR to Redding to take Pharmacist's Tech test Josh got day off, too. Staying at Steph's tonight she's been studying, and working out, too. 21 days straight. 09:40 you must be willing to lose it all before you can have it all. --- "Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more." - A. Lou Vickery 09:51 LI-EIN "Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: A little bit more! They did all they could, and a little bit more." - A. Lou Vickery I can give a little bit more, can you? “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.” - Michael Althsuler --- "What you get by reaching your goals is not nearly as important as what you become by reaching them." - Zig Ziglar "Change before you have to." - Jack Welch, CEO GE If necessity is the mother of invention, then discontent is the father of progress. The Three S's Self-confidence Self-discipline Sense of humor Sharon DeLong commented on What is the most important social skill that emotionally intelligent people have? Appreciation - to see the value in something-, fpr self and others, is by far the most important social skill that anyone can embody. When we appreciate another's situation, be it a pain or a traumatic event, without any resistance to the event or to how the person is expressing themselves, appreciation melts the stickiness of negativity and allows the person to move through the experience. Reisitance, on the other hand, will only stick fixed attention futher into the situation. Appreciate ALL things and your life will be brighter! Ravindra S. commented on At what age should we introduce our children to IE and what are the best tools. to be used to achieve the desired result. EI rules the word Home is the first school and parents are first teacher of their children. parents are roll model for the child, they try to do like they see in the home. You need to keep yourself aware of these facts and act accordingly. If you want to introduce your children to IE, you just show it in your daily activity. --- my intentions are as good/clean/altruistic as I can make them! within boundaries --- Josh, I know I'm pushing it here, and this is unconventional... but EQ is about being original and creative sometimes, right? So, here's how I envision us working together. 1. Add a community to 6 Sec, that you and I run. 2. build a site for individuals build the EQ-101 structure write the course, some of my stuff, some of your stuff. collaborating on the MSC project with both 6 Seconds and Whole Life expos Active Volunteer - Mendocino Film Festival - Board Member, Database Manager and House Manager - Mendocino Music Festival - Volunteer and Database Manager (paid) - World's Largest Salmon BBQ - Salmon Restoration Society - Volunteer - Project Sanctuary - Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Counseling and Crisis Center - Certified Crisis Counselor, volunteer --- 10:25 LI-EIN When referring to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs doesn’t the self-actualization level, indicate and/or link to EI? Ethics? Empathy? Your thoughts? Maslow stated, “Self-actualizing people have a deep feeling of identification, sympathy, and affection for human beings in general. They feel kinship and connection, as if all people were members of a single family.” Oh, I think EQ affects the top 4 tiers, maybe all 5! The bottom tier is completely physical, but the others are emotional, and therefore very much EQ-based. "Safety" is clearly an EQ decision/concept... as it's mostly a feeling... "connection" is the magic of EQ!... and "esteem" and "self-actualization" are 100% emotion-based and therefore we are completely 'at choice' with these, every moment of every day. I think Maslow's hierarchy is right-on... and I believe EQ can help us rise up the tiers dramatically. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs --- D-R so, I want to bring the world together to push EQ. I'm on a mission to lead the world into the new Age of EQ The Emotional Intelligence Age where we truly learn about ourselves, and how to work smarter, rather than smarter. Where we start to come together, as a race. I believe we should lead that charge. It IS an "I" generation... but that's a good thing. People want to understand themselves, to do more with less, to experience life, to pay their bills, to live, to survive, to function and to thrive. --- Joan Robertson • self-awareness + awareness of others = the first step in understanding our human experience Liz Hengerer • I do believe our thoughts and feelings are within our control. We learn this by thinking of or experiencing consequences and deciding how we will react to certain situations. Maturity, resilliency and how we perceive the world are individual choices. Tara Vellucci • "Personal accountability for attitude and choice." --- LI-EIN my thread, 38 comments What's the Main Point of EQ? If you had one 'sound bite' / message / concept to say to the world re: EQ, what would it be? I'm still working on it, but for now, the main thing I want people to "get" is about Emotional Responsibility: - Our Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours are 100% OURS, alone -- we have total power and control over them -- and we have the freedom to know, accept and choose what we do with our head, our heart and our hands. "I am 100% responsible my thoughts, feelings and behaviours (head-heart-hand), because that gives me control of my love, my learning and my life!" "Behind every one of my behaviours, actions or words is at least one thought and at least one feeling." "No one can make us feel anything emotionally, without our permission." "Positive thinking dramatically increases our chances of success in any endeavor." "Happiness is a choice!" "Love is a decision." "All fear and all anger are based on thoughts." "IQ + EQ = LOL !!" "Guilt and shame are optional." "We gotta feel it to heal it" "Negative feelings, expressed as deeply as they are felt, will reduce in intensity and are free to change." - Myron Doc Downing - "Emotions can lead to our worst decisions or our best ones: The difference is emotional intelligence." - Joshua Freedman "Love is letting go of fear" --- Affect Versus Effect So most of the time affect with an a is a verb and effect with an e is a noun. psychology = Affect Affect vs Effect Pronunciation: Noun: ?æf?kt and Verb: ?'f?kt ??f?kt Meaning: As a verb, to affect something means to cause it to change in some way. As a noun, the word "affect" relates to the display of emotion. As a noun, effect means the result or outcome of a cause. As a verb, "to effect" means "to bring about". Also, a person's "effects" means his/her immediate personal belongings. Usage: "Affect" is most commonly used in its verb form. "Effect" is most commonly used in its noun form. Examples of Affect vs Effect Carbon di-oxide emissions affect the environment. The effect of global warming is that glaciers will melt and sea levels will rise. The 2008 Presidential elections in the United States were likely affected by the war in Iraq. Reducing the marketing budget will affect sales growth. Abuse during childhood may lead to violence in adulthood. This is just cause and effect. We know the new marketing campaign is really effective because sales are up 350%. Do you know the side effects of Advil vs Tylenol? Doctors must keep in mind that X-Rays in CAT Scans may affect the body adversely on repeated exposure. --- >> ,Lema goodies for Bella write to Nykia and Shane Murphy ,HB Abbie! store orders! Bri drop off video and signed at MCTV --- 5 / 10 SQL Test (got a 22, which is a 3, FAILED!) oh well, too hard. submitted to 2 others tho, both VBA jobs, 1 SF, 1 Natomas --- 3-5 orders with Bri and Katelynn USPS MCTV CVS Rite-Aid Safeway Katelynn's USA home bratwurst on hot dog rolls, with sourkraut and grey poupon -- yum! "Men in Black", 2nd half, with PKP Bri, Katelynn and Karlie return pause 11:30 up and go... --- 7.21 00:00 here Life is an echo: What you send out, comes back What you sow, you reap. What you see in others, exists in you. Do not judge, so you will not be judged. Radiate and give love, and love will come back to you. --- D-R Study suggests empathetic response from doctors may reduce depression, suicidal thoughts http://therapytoronto.ca/news/?p=4731 In the biggest study of depression in older people in Australia, researchers at The University of Western Australia and nationally showed that by educating GPs, it was possible to reduce the prevalence of depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts in their older patients. --- Your ignorance is their power. Fact Sheet: Guns Save Lives http://gunowners.org/sk0802.htm Guns used 2.5 million times a year in self-defense. Law-abiding citizens use guns to defend themselves against criminals as many as 2.5 million times every year -- or about 6,850 times a day.1 This means that each year, firearms are used more than 80 times more often to protect the lives of honest citizens than to take lives. Of the 2.5 million times citizens use their guns to defend themselves every year, the overwhelming majority merely brandish their gun or fire a warning shot to scare off their attackers. Less than 8% of the time, a citizen will kill or wound his/her attacker. --- "For he today who sheds his blood with me, shall be my brother." - William Shakespeare What do you call a person who asks you for your opinion then gets mad at your response?....................... an askhole. --- 04:14 do you Like the root pic, or the link to the pic? we can add a Title, and an Author, and Tags, and a 5-star rating to a File, in Windows Explorer (down the bottom). --- Shane/Nykia So, again, it can only be 3 pages long... therefore, I think we need a graphic or two, or three (no more) to get our point across visually. I'm thinking: 1. Left-brain vs. Right-brain (see attached) attachments: - left_mellow_right_WILD1.jpg printed on 8.5x14! Very cool. https://www.facebook.com/MindBodyMedicineGroupJmatTbAlqlAljsd --- 07:08 posted to my FB wall Ok, HERE's what's it's all about, kiddies! This shows BEAUTIFULLY what's missing in our lives and our world, and (IMHO) it's the #1 problem in our society today. Let me explain: Our logical Left-brain has been king for hundreds and thousands of years... while our creative, emotional Right-brain has been squashed, denied, avoided and disrespected. This ain't workin'! The world's not happy. People are afraid and angry, our level of addictions/suicides/crime/mental health/violence is not good, our economies are soft, we have homeless and hungry, and we're still at war. We're about ACTIVATING the Right-brain -- showing people the wonder and power that lies within our own heart and soul -- for our kids, in families, in homes, at work, in society (and maybe someday, in government)! Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the study and focus, the art and the science, the activation and the mastery of our incredible/healing/connecting/passionate Right-brain. When we add Left-brain knowledge, rules and skills (IQ), to Right-brain feelings, love and creativity (EQ), we may very well change our world, from the inside out! EQRocks! Objection: One might argue that we DON'T want people to feel more... it's the craziness, and the violence, and the machine-gunning people in the theatre kinda emotional outbursts that we need a lot LESS of, not more! I don't want to support Feelings... feelings are bad. Emotions get us in trouble. We need logic to live sanely and safely. a. I sorta agree. I'd like us to use more logic in our behaviours. EQ teaches that our behaviours are first based on our Thoughts... and that it's the Meaning we place on people/events/words that fires our feelings, which effects our behaviours. If we knew this, logically (IQ), that's half the battle is won already. If we can understand, logically, that we are 100% responsible for our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, to we know they effect each other and to have the skills to manage/control/express/not express, as the situation permits (or we decide). That, to me, is the ultimate power and control. b. I want us to UNDERSTAND ourselves, and our feelings. I want us to KNOW that we have Choices... and that some of our Choices lead to dire consequences. I want us to APPRECIATE the power of our feelings, within us, that drive us, that are our love, and our passion, our anger and our rage, our fear and our pain, our guilt and our shame, our sadness and our grief ...and our only way to peace and serenity. --- 06:30ish LI-EIN, Matt's EQ Stuff thread Hi! I just realized there's a movie that's a PERFECT example of how emotional problems are created, and how they're solved, using EQ! It's the Disney movie, "Hook"... and it's sooo well done! It's entertaining, no matter what your age! Ok, so Peter Pan (Robin Williams!) was the free-est spirit as a boy. In fact, he took himself so lightly, he could fly! But when his love Wendy 'grew up', he felt abandoned and alone. He hurt so badly, emotionally, that he gave up flying, and pretending, and feelin', and became an accountant, and a stuffy, grumpy, controlling, disconnected, semi-abusive dad. But Hook (Dustin Hoffman!) still wants to do battle, so he steals Peter (Pan) Banning's children and dares Peter to come save them. To save his kids, Peter must ultimately confront his pain, and what it has made him become, and with the help of Tink (Julia Roberts!) and the Lost Boys, he "finds his Happy thought" (which, as we know, is right-brain pictures+feelings+sounds+connections) and OFF HE FLIES to battle Hook to the end! It really is that simple, and it really does work, quite magically, just like the movie (well, we've got the Happy thought working well... it's the flying part I'm struggling with. Still looking for some of Tink's pixie dust, if you know where we could get some...). EQRocks! IQ + EQ = LOL !! IQ + EQ + Pixie Dust = !w!?o!?w! --- I'm using you. I'm pretending I'm talking to you, which I actually am, WHILE formulating my thoughts, and noticing what I feel about 'em all. --- 04:41 MFF Ok, well that just about does it! Well done, gang. I like when things are easy! So, but now this brings us to a crossroads. We're bringing on 3 newbies, they're pretty fired up and eager to jump in and help. are we going to let them? My fear here, is that we are just gonna lay our fears on top of their enthusiasm, and squash it down. So, here's how I see it. We have people ready and willing to take on the big roles that Ann and Michael yearned for... we did it. We (theoretically) have a Development Mgr, an (experienced) Ops Mgr, and help with PR. They had often listed a HR director in with their wishes, but I never quite understood what this person would do, or why it was so important... I asked Paul, and he didn't know either... can someone please enlighten us, from their POV (point of view)? As you also know, I would like to be Exec. Dir. I still haven't taken a consulting job, but I expect to be offered one next week. I'd like to see Hey, it's an election year, and I've never 'ran' for anything before... but I would like to RUN for you guys, for MFF, for bringing film to the north coast. oh, and speaking of film, I am filming the first of 10 educational half-hour segments on Emotional Intelligence (EQ) at MCTV on Tuesday. Wish me luck! I think you'll be making a mistake I need to find out how the bed tax thing went. Paul wants to do it right, so we'll be putting together a business plan. Nope, I don't have experience running the whole show like this... but with your help, I'm up for the challenge. Yes, I have a big mouth, and don't dress well, and I don't speak in big words very well. But, I believe my heart is in the right place, and feel good about the man I have become. I had a painful childhood, and I've done (and created) some amazing work in that area. I don't know if you read my last few long babblings, my guess is you guys think I'm pretty wacko by now ("over the top" is what one fellow called me.). I get it. In fact, the good news is that it is controlled. I know when I'm doing it, I know the risks, and I'm doing it on purpose, so it can be managed. In other words, I can be very emotional and/or very professional... or both... or neither. Feels good. (in fact, one of the main EQ tenants is that "we have --- Top 10 EQ Tenants 1. We are responsible. We are at choice. We can control our thoughts, feelings and behaviours That's about all we can control. Negative feelings, expressed at the intensity they are felt, will reduce in intensity and are free to change. In other words, we can spend 10-30 minutes of pure emotional agony (fear, pain or grief), and then let it go... (to be replaced with peace, love and joy) OR we can spend the rest of our lives trying to avoid, deny, dance around, stuff, medicate, etc. Our choice. --- VMC: one of the prettiest sites I've seen: http://www.visitmendocino.com/ --- Yassin, I'd like to announce the campaign in the Facebook and LinkedIn groups (finally)! May I ask a few wording changes on the www.Feel.org home page, to better 'brand' our campaign? - Change the title to match the sign-in box, The Emotional Literacy Campaign becomes The "Million Signature" Emotional Literacy Campaign - Change Campaign Action Plan: ... to ... Million Signature Campaign Action Plan: - Instead of Our Sponsors how about MSC Sponsors If any objections / suggestions, let me know. Thanks much. - Matt --- www.Nexuseq.com EQTargets_6SecNexus.jpg Head + Heart You: Create more joy and satisfaction in your life and family Healthcare: Deliver more effective patient care Organizations: Tap the human side of high performance School: Raise young people who are more successful in learning and life Leaders: Enhance our ability to influence and engage individuals and teams. --- Emotion Literate's Proclamation http://www.emolit.org/emoproc.html http://www.emolit.org/Emotion%20Literates%20Proc-emolit-org.pdf I am vulnerable living in the unknown. Oh yes, I have my patterns, my familiars, my adaptive powers AND I am vulnerable living in the unknown. To hide, minimize, pretend that I am not vulnerable is to lie to myself. To lie, I must feed my fear and numb my sense-abilities, my ability to sense that I am vulnerable living in the unknown. To not sense myself is to not be myself. To not be myself is to ignore myself, forget myself, lose myself. To lose myself is to lose my protection, my being, and wear a mask. To lose my protection, my being, and wear a mask I must be somebody else, somebody who is not vulnerable not living in the unknown. To be somebody who is NOT vulnerable not living in the unknown, I must act tougher, smarter, more something or other. To act tougher or smarter I must believe that it is necessary to hurt or defeat another in order to not be hurt or defeated myself. To let myself feel my vulnerability is to remember my vulnerability from long ago and how it was exploited, bull-dozed over, not noticed. I must remember or I will forget that I am vulnerable living in the unknown—still. I must remember so that I can recognize myself. To recognize myself is to pay attention to myself. To pay attention to myself is to protect myself, to be with myself. To protect myself, to be with myself, I must know myself and what I need. To know myself and what I need, I must learn about myself. To learn about myself, I must be open. To be open, I must be vulnerable living in the unknown. --- We would love to hear from you. Drop us a line (or a dime). --- 07:16 Matt Perelstein Well, I kinda agree you guys... as you know, anger doesn't necessarily hurt others... and it can be quite amazingly healing, in itself. But I certainly agree about tears cleansing the heart and soul! Thanks, Shauna. 20 minutes ago · Like Shauna Wright I guess I look at it hand in hand.....meaning to get anger out and not hold it in your heart (that is what hurts you and others), crying is a part of expressing the anger in order to release and heal. Often in life I have found it easier to hold anger in by not allowing myself to cry .... Yep. Crying is a part of expressing anger, but it's a part, not the whole. Many of us cry "instead of" being powerfully and honestly angry. In my experience, anger is usually processed by first crying, then moving to the strong, angry, pushing part, then, when complete, dissolving into tears again, as a final cleansing/release. Sound right? --- 7:22 FB Msg (re: FB!) Debbie Pacheco Oppie Have you decided if you will have a class in Fort Bragg in Sept? a few seconds agoMatt Perelstein Not for certain, yet, but I'd sure love to make it happen! We're overdue. Is Kelly your cuz? She asked to come, too! What weekend was best for you, again? Thanks for buggin' me about this. I have gobs on my plate, but little that's more important. - 07:32 Ok, so we're shooting for the 9/14-16/2012... I like it! I'll talk to Paula 'bout it, and let you know. We can announce it to our grads at class in Fresno next weekend. Yeah, there's plenty of pain / horror / PTSD... it's just convincing people that the #1 thing they're trying to avoid -- feeling it, re-living it, facing it -- is also the #1 tool to help themselves heal! - yep... moving in that direction, for sure! I know it's on us to find more/better ways to show/teach/explain, even entertain. In fact, on Tuesday, I'm filming the first in a 10-part series called EQ-101 at MCTV on Laurel street here. Should be fun, and allow us the ability to start showing others via video! --- We the people are the driver; the government is the car. We decide where it should go, by what route, and how fast. - Ronald Reagan --- TapIntoEFT.com "The power is within you. You are extensions of this powerful Source Energy. You are literally God expressing in this physical body. And so, as you are standing in a thought, or in a word, or in an action that feels good to you as you are standing there—then you are fully open and allowing all of that Divine Energy to flow through you. And in that moment you are all that you said you would be when you decided to come forth into this body. You are the extension of pure positive energy. You are in your full creative power. You are thriving. You are clear-minded. You are joyful. You are filled with love. You are who you are—you are allowing that which you really are." - Abraham-Hicks --- 08:25+ Buck, review in October split up past the shock of it why it keeps happening, 2nd time need support group, acceptance, sadness, bargain opposer (hard to let go) vs. seeker (over it too fast) Abbagale __. "Crazy Time", emotions control you! book acting like schizo, crying in store, grounded, good overview shock, anger, sad, depression, recovery looking forward to it actually if get stuck, comes up in next relationship has to do with possessiveness, out of fear and control what is jealousy? --- NLP HOME STUDY PROGRAM http://www.rapidnlp.com/nlp/ Day 1 - Session #1 “Empower Your Life With NLP” You will begin by discovering… The “Big Picture” of NLP and how you can use it to empower your lifeHow your unconscious mind determines the choices that you make and how to easily “program” your mind for ultimate successThe one simple key to creating a compelling future (hint: toddlers know this instinctively yet people seem to forget it as they get older)Your unconscious “filters” (and how to quickly change your “Internal Point of View” to control the suggestions you give to your unconscious mind)Why our brains delete 99% of the information that comes into our awareness and how to BENEFIT from this to be an unstoppable successThe role your internal mindset plays with your physical health (if you find yourself getting sick a lot then you must listen to this!)A simple secret hypnotists use to make sure their clients are ready to be hypnotized (this works even if they tell you they can’t be hypnotized)The simple trick that NLP masters know to make every NLP technique work even betterHow to adopt a powerful mindset about money that will lead to a life of financial abundance (and why the opposite mindset will stop the flow of money into your life!) Day 2 - Session #2“How To Set Powerful Goals” You Will Learn… How to set irresistible goals that produce the kind of results you wantThe simple secret that will enable you to instantly change your physical state (professional athletes use this all the time to keep them on top of their game)How you can coach others to create excellent behavior by making two little “tweaks” to their internal mindWhy eliminating negative “self talk” is often not enough to combat success sabotage (and the simple tricks to make sure you stop preventing your success)The history of NLP and how you can use the tools of top achievers in your everyday lifeHow the techniques of NLP were developed and why they can be applied perfectly for coaching, family therapy, sales, rapport, hypnosis, creativity and more…Use the language of the mind to consistently get your desired outcomes. The 5 principles for success – how you can be certain that you produce the behaviors and results that you wantSetting an intention for your goal (this is the common reason why the majority of people never reach their goals or resolutions)One simple tweak to your physiology that will have massive results for achieving your goalsThe 9 keys to an achievable outcome – a simple roadmap to follow so you can lead yourself and others to excellence3 Goal-killers you must avoid to be successfulThe secret top professionals use to make their business goals irresistibly powerful (it only takes a few seconds yet it is often the difference between those who dream about having money and those who attract it effortlessly). Day 3 - Session #3“NLP Rules To Live By” You Will Learn… To “filter your reality” in an empowering way by adopting a set of useful assumptionsThe most important belief you must have when coaching clients or using NLP with others (This will instantly transform your “inner game” and enhance your results with using NLP)Use NLP to have more friends, be liked by more people and attract vibrant relationships on demand!How to quiet that negative voice in the back of your head that keeps you from getting what you wantAn absolutely vital tip if you are working with someone who has a “learning disorder” (or if you have been LIED to into believing you have one yourself)How to accomplish remarkable goals by adopting the same mindset as Thomas EdisonWhy most relationships flounder because of poor communication (and what you need to know to stop being a victim)Why the subconscious mind is the key to becoming a master of influence3 Simple insights that will help you to stop back pain, become healthier and have more energy (and how to program your body to do it while you sleep)“Negative Commands” and how you can use them to persuade almost anyone (they are so covert they will almost always fly “under the radar”) Day 4 - Session #4“How To Create Rapid Rapport” You Will Learn… The secrets of Rapid Rapport (use these tips and you will have the help from complete strangers wherever you go)What Secret Service agents use to know if someone is lying (and how you can become a human lie detector over night)Simple tip offs that will let you know if the person you are talking to is open for influential suggestions“Uptime Trance” and how to use it to tell how well your communication is being received by the other personThe 5 “Calibration Cues” to look for when talking to someone so that you can evaluate their behavior effectivelyBody Language and why the majority of “experts” are wrong (and what you can do to avoid common body language mistakes)How to communicate directly to someone’s subconscious without saying a wordAvoid this Rapport Mistake – what most “newbies” do that will annoy people and completely backfire on your intention to be more persuasiveRapport Secret #1 – This is a goldmine for anyone in sales (your prospects will instantly feel like they have known you forever!)Rapport Secret #2 – Synchronize your breathing with individuals or large groups of people to create massive rapport (3 tips on how to make this automatic)Rapport Secret #3 – How to build rapport over the phone (3 simple techniques you need to know)Rapport Secret #4 – 4 signs to watch for to know for certain that you have built enough rapport with someoneRapport Secret #5 – The one situation where you should never gain rapport with someone. BONUS: A simple questionnaire to determine how you communicate and learn! Day 5 - Session #5“Representational Systems” You Will Learn… How you learn the best (do you learn better by sight, sound or feeling? We will walk you through a simple process so you know for certain). Specific words to use with specific people to be incredibly persuasive4 powerful sales scripts to use depending on the type of person you are selling to“Slow Talkers” – connect with this type of communicator effectively by knowing this one technique“Fast Talkers” – (know what is going on inside their head and how to paint vivid pictures in their mind that they can’t refuse)The power word “Cheat Sheet” – a simple breakdown of words you should know to be more effective (most people are only speaking effectively to ¼ of people)“Intonation Patterns” – learn the most powerful pattern for persuasive speech (top sales people do this instinctively and it only takes seconds to learn)“Eye Patterns” – Know how someone is thinking just by watching how they move their eyesThe one test that you need to know to make sure you are using the power of eye patterns effectively Day 6 - Session #6“Creating Change With Submodalities” You Will Learn… How to become totally motivated no matter what state you’re presently in (this simple technique makes becoming motivated as easy as turning the knobs on the radio)Isolate the triggers that can instantly make you or your clients motivated (do this one thing and watch your company’s productivity soar)Make problems disappear by changing the way you code them in your mind (imagine being able to hit the “delete” key on all your negative states)The simple trick that will give you an instant boost of motivation, happiness or energyKnock down mental barriers to wealth (reach financial goals that you never thought possible before with this simple technique)“Swish Patterns” and how to use this simple process to eliminate bad habits and create momentum for a compelling futureEnd negative patterns and how to open up new pathways for your life“Like-to-Dislike” – The script to give up a diet-killing foods in less than 5 minutes“Dissociative Technique” – use it to mediate conflicts and achieve swift resolutions (this is a must if you are a parent, coach or manager). Day 7 - Session #7“The Powerful Use Of Language” You Will Learn… The NLP use of language and how to communicate effectively to get what you wantStop “Autopilot Communication” – learn the power behind persuasive speechControl any conversation with NLP language patterns“The Agreement Frame” and two common phrases you must avoid or risk alienating the person you are speaking to“The Purpose Frame” – use this phrase to stop wasting time and get down to business fast and effectively“The What-If Frame” – A simple structure that opens up opportunities and turns objections into salesMaster the art of suggestion with this one simple trickDeliver your suggestions directly to someone’s subconscious mind (and bypass resistance) by using these 9 patterns“Double Binds” and how to give the allusion of choice while getting your prospects to do what you want“The Hierarchy of Ideas” – Use this powerful technique to negotiate effortlessly and reach agreement with anyoneHow to think like a CEO (why they make more money, work less and how you can too)How to avoid overwhelm and get more done in less time. Day 8 - Session #8“Conversational Hypnosis Language Patterns” You Will Learn… “Conversational Hypnosis” and how to use it for powerful and covert persuasion“Utilitarian Hypnosis” and how to use it for maximum influence (These simple tricks will make your un-sold prospects to do a complete 180)19 language patterns used by the world’s best hypnotist (these covert patterns are perfect business and relationships)WARNING: How the media and politicians routinely use hypnosis to make you follow their leadThe “Deep Structure” of communication – help others overcome mental barriers and create magical change with a simple set of questionsMassive communication problems cause by “Distortions, Deletions & Generalizations” and how to save your relationships. Day 9 - Session #9“State Elicitation & Anchoring” You Will Learn… Elicit powerful states instantly using “Anchoring”“Collapse Anchoring” and how to eliminate negative or “stuck” statesEliminate stage fright (these are the secrets that professional speakers use to confidently speak to huge groups of people)The 5 keys to anchoring you must know (use these steps to make the anchors you set elicit powerful, vivid emotions quickly and easily)How to anchor your coaching clients for maximum effectiveness“Chaining Anchors” – “Rewire” your brain and stop procrastination and quickly get out of stuck states neurologically“Physiology of Excellence” – be in control of your state no matter what is going on around you. Day 10 - Session #10“Mastering Strategies” You Will Learn… “Strategies” – uncover the subconscious “programs” that people run subconsciouslyThe “Buying Strategy” – learn this tick that will make your products irresistible to your prospectsThe “Deep Love Strategy” – learn the specific steps someone takes to fall in love (Warning- this is powerfully effective- use with caution!)Sex, motivation and creativity strategies and more (learn the questions to elicit any strategy within in minutes)“Negative Looping” and how to prevent this common source of unwanted behaviorThe “T.O.T.E Model” for effective strategies. Day 11 - Session #11“Rapid Reframing” You Will Learn… Make problems and objections disappear using “Reframing”A tested and proven method for eliminating the two biggest sales objections“Limiting Beliefs” and how you can lead those around you to a more empowering futureThe “Context & Content Reframes” – Become powerfully influential with these two NLP patterns“Parts” and how they are the source of conflict in people’s livesLive your life positively by following this simple strategy. Day 12 - Session #12“Phobia Destroyer & Parts Integration” You Will Learn… “Parts Integration” – How you can use this incredible technique to identify and eliminate conflict in your lifeThe 9 steps to follow for a successful and empowering parts integrationFulfill your highest intention and purpose (stop getting in your own way with this NLP technique)The one question you must ask your client before starting a parts integration (use this so you know you are tackling the real issue)Program your subconscious mind by using metaphorsThe “5 Minute Phobia Cure” – learn the secrets NLP masters use to end a life-long phobia in minute. Day 13 - Session #13“Hypnotic Induction” In this session you will learn… How to integrate all the information from the Learn NLP At Home programHow to attract strong, empowering relationshipsHow to achieve total bliss and live the life of your dreamsInspires you to take action and find your true fulfillmentTo have a healthy, happy bodyTo recall all the information you learned easily. Day 14 - Session #14“The NLP Model Of Therapy” You Will Learn… The NLP Model of therapyIntegrate this powerful information together and use it in your everyday lifeHow to use NLP and work with clients and colleaguesTo create success in your life (no matter what your purpose)The easiest method for mastering these NLP techniques (you will soon be integrating this knowledge in your life effortlessly!)How to feel confident and knowledgeable about using your new NLP skills (with clients, in business, relationships and for your own personal development) --- Software for PDFs (Windows, Mac, Linux, Android, iPhone) http://www.co.mendocino.ca.us/pdf.htm --- 09:14 Shane Nykia So, again, it can only be 3 pages long... therefore, I think we need a graphic or two, or three (no more) to get our point across visually (see attached for info on each). They need to be quite small, legible and powerful. I'm thinking: 1. Left-brain vs. Right-brain 2. EMFB 3. How emotional healling works Ideas/help/suggestions? thanks. - Matt left_mellow_right_WILD.jpg EMFBChart.doc why-eq-rocks.txt --- Search "Film" at VMC http://www.visitmendocino.com/search/node/film VMC MFF "Package", 2010 http://www.visitmendocino.com/specials-packages/mendocino-film-festival-package Mendocino Hotel Cost: $633.92 for a two night stay in a Garden Deluxe Room, $772.80 for a two night stay in an Ocean view or Garden Suite HISTORIC NOYO THEATRE in Willits http://www.visitmendocino.com/business/noyo-theatre-0 VMC - official Destination Marketing Organization (5x docs) http://www.co.mendocino.ca.us/bos/meetings/MG16425/AS16431/AS16434/AS16442/AI16532/DO16548/1.PDF Arts Council http://www.artsmendocino.org/ Jim Moorehead Photography http://www.artsmendocino.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=53:acmc-spot-artist1x&catid=34:acmc-frontpage-spotlight2&Itemid=2 Arts Council of Mendocino County 309 East Perkins Street Ukiah, CA 95482 Phone: (707) 463-2727 email: acmc@artsmendocino.org Hal Wagenet Modern Music Sound Service ACMC President Willits Organization: Modern Music Sound Service Hal is a native of Willits, but has been “south of Ukiah.” Trained as a classical pianist, he became fascinated by the tonal possibilities of the electric guitar. Wagenet moved to San Francisco sometime in the 1960s to pursue the dream of blending these two musical concepts. He achieved personal recognition as the lead guitarist for the “Indian Head Band,” then joined the psychedelic classical rock band, “It’s A Beautiful Day.” The group rose to prominence, earning a place in history as one of the most influential San Francisco groups. Hal returned to Mendocino County with his gold records and managed his family sawmill for the next 30 years. He taught recording and the “Business of Music” for ten years; served as Entertainment Director for Willits Frontier Days for 30 years; presented the Willits Country Pickers concert series for 10 years; provided technical services to clients as varied as Jose Feliciano, Taj Mahal, Ali Akbar Khan, and The Righteous Brothers. Becoming obsessed with the Willits Bypass in 2001, he found himself in local politics, was elected to the Mendocino County Board of Supervisors and served a term with distinction. He owns and operates Modern Music Sound Service, providing concert sound, stage lighting, DJ services and theatrical enhancements for the area. Performing Arts: Music City: Willits Website: www.modernmusicsound.com --- I must study politics and war, that my sons may study mathematics and philosophy…in order to give their children the right to study painting, poetry, music and architecture. – John Q. Adams Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere else. – Albert Einstein --- 09:45 to house for breakfast (and never made it down here again this day) worked on pump/wiring/rocks for fountain all day nice day (but still a bit one-sided) 5ish stopped for spaghetti and movie pause on couch (highly unusual!) --- 7.22 01:15 up, e's, poop, text with Gloria 02:18 I love the picture - and... it's a good metaphor. The neuroscience I've seen does not support the notion that 1 side is "analytical" -- but Matt your point is well taken! :) Strictly speaking, you're right, Josh. According to Daniel Goleman, it's actually about the base brain and the top brain... but, the left/right makes it easier to understand, and people 'get it' much better this way. The result is the same -- feelings (and creativity, and intuition) are squashed, when they need to be honored! --- Updated http://www.About.me/MattPerelstein I believe many of our most pressing social problems today -- crime, violence, suicide, divorce, abuse, addictions, mental health, even war -- are all based on people (mostly men) not knowing how to deal with their feelings and emotions! EQ can Help! I want a safer, kinder, more aware, more sane, more loving world, so that's what I'm trying to create. (yeah, it's all about me... and it's all about you, too!) Please make a commitment to love your fellow man, to be 'good guy', not a bad guy, to reach out, to connect, to love first. to be brave. To respect your own feelings and be empathetic toward others. Why? Because it works. It works for me, it works for us and it'll work for you, too! IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQRocks! Tags: EQ Emotional Intelligence Personal Growth Awareness Mindfulness Happiness Success Personal Responsibility Love Trust --- 02:38 Judy P. commented on You start growing old the day you stop laughing... yes, I totally agree with you. I am young and still working at my first job, I always laughed a lot when I was a student. My mom told me to stop that once I got my first job, but I couldn't. Even it seem like a little immature when laughing out loud, but it always reminds me of who I am. And seeing the people around me infected by my laughter makes me enjoy laughing even more. But I'm still learning and growing, so I don't think laughing doesn't stop one from growing. --- RIP Stephen Covey: Here Are His Famous '7 Habits Of Highly Effective People' http://www.businessinsider.com/stephen-coveys-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people-2012-7 1) Be Proactive As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. We have the independent will to make our own choices and decisions, and the response-ability ("the ability to respond") to make the right choices. You have the freedom to choose your own fate and path, so having the independent will, imagination and self-awareness to make the right move makes you a proactive, and not a reactive, person. 2) Begin With The End In Mind Mental visualization is extremely important. Covey says that all things are created twice: first, the mental conceptualization and visualization and a second physical, actual creation. Becoming your own creator means to plan and visualize what you're going to do and what you're setting out to accomplish and then go out and creating it. Identifying your personal statement and your principles will help. NOW READ: Jonah Lehrer Says That 'Grit' Is The Single-Most Important Predictor Of Success > 3) Put First Things First With your power of independent will, you can create the ending you want to have. Part of that comes with effective time management, starting with matters of importance. Then tasks should be completed based on urgency after you deal with all the important matters. If you deal with crises, pressing problems and deadline-driven projects first, your life will be a lot easier. 4) Think Win/Win If you believe in a better way to accomplish goals that's mutually beneficial to all sides, that's a win/win situation. "All parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan," Covey wrote. "One person's success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others." If you have integrity and maturity, there's no reason win/win situations can't happen all the time. DON'T MISS: 26 Successful People Who Failed First > 5) Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood If you're a good listener and you take the time to understand a concept, it will help you convey your opinions, plans and goals to others. It starts with communication and strong listening skills, followed by diagnosing the situation and then communicating your solution to others. 6) Synergize "Synergistic communication", according to Covey, is "opening your mind and heart to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options." This applies to the classroom, the business world and wherever you could apply openness and communication. It's all about building cooperation and trust. 7) Sharpen The Saw Sometimes you're working so hard on the other six habits that you forget about re-energizing and renewing yourself to sharpen yourself for the tasks in front of you. Some sharpening techniques include exercise and nutrition, reading, planning and writing, service and empathy and commitment, study and meditation. --- “Eat less, move more” "Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic." - Stephen R. Covey --- >> have people Tweet #EmotionalIntelligence #EQ --- The Six Habits of Highly Empathic People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9jC1ThqTNo Cultural historian and author of 'Wonderbox: Curious Histories of How to Live' Roman Krznaric reveals how the art of empathy can not only enrich one's own life but also help to create social change. Introspection vs. Outraspection "Experiential Empathy" Empathy: the key to radical social change! 1. Cultivate curiousity about strangers 2. Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities how we're alike, not how we're different Head of KKK, CPEllis, gets on committee with black lady, develops empathy, and becomes civil rights union 3. Extreme sport of "Experiential Empathy" walk a mile in their shoes 4. Practice the art of conversation Hello Peace, grass roots empathy, call 24x7 to get a 5. Inspire massive action and social change Rise and Fall empathy and collapse (slavery) movement powered by empathy 6. Develop an ambitious imagination of empathy social, political and economic transformation adventurous, those in power successful and wildly unsuccessful people we need to understand their views of the world climate change - empathy with those who it's effecting more thru time, future generations, adjusting our behaviour Know thyself, self reflective 21st century, know theyselve, by stepping outside ourselves create the revolution of human relationships that we need Six Habits of Highly Empathic People: 1. Cultivate curiousity about strangers 2. Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities 3. Make an extreme sport of "Experiential Empathy" 4. Practice the art of conversation 5. Inspire massive action and social change 6. Develop an ambitious imagination of empathy --- ND has allowed us to experience "Experiential Empathy", a lot. put our needs aside, for a bit, push Empathy experience, or at least understand, what it's like talks, petitions, public protest, boycots >> interview people to ask their views on empathy, on EQ >> ask! How do you use EQ in your life? How do you see EQ in the world? What, do you believe, is our next steps with EQ? we are wasting our time. we have a unique opportunity, right now, to make a very real difference in the world with EQ! We need to get people together. Let's use WholeLife! Josh, I think you're just being protective of 6 Sec, which is fine, so am I. I'm not trying to 'take' anything from you... I wish to ADD to your fortune, in every way! I know it's hard to trust, but I don't believe I've done anything to lead you to mistrust me, have I? I want in. I want to Matt with 6 Seconds... it would mean a lot to me. Even unpaid. I want to belong with you guys. That's a big part of why I took the SEI. And, like with Ayman, due to technical difficulties, and my overwhelm, it didn't go well. I'm sure you both have shared that I never got on the SEI via video (no webcam... believed they were expensive, hard to deal with and wouldn't work on our slow satellite connection), and when I chatted with Ayman a few times, my webcam didn't work (got one, super cheap, almost always worked/s, but for some reason, wouldn't on Skype for awhile. Since re-installed it and it worked fine yesterday. On our last call, mine worked but Ayman didn't turn his on.) why do I care? 6 Sec has it goin' on... baddest EQ trainers on the planet. 6 Sec model. I'm in more than anywhere else I see the potential! They're not that far away. MSC SEI Synapse School Deborah, and Ann, and Barbara, and Michele, and __ and Josh knows Dan Goleman, and Dan Pink, etc. >> yep, keep going. There's a depth missing from the KCG model. K can be so much deeper C is about choosing EVERYTHING, every moment of every day G is for real. G works. G = empathy, and empathy = social reform Navigating Emotions --- I don't want to 'meet' about it... not yet. Let's design it, instead. DESIGN, Design, Design! That's what I need help with! Design! Melinda , write to Val re: Melinda now >> pay Sharon, forward receipt to Val 131.95 support@2work-at-home.com --- lost 4 subs in 3 days! PP = 1654 (not good, sales are down... subs only) -41 1SC -60 Google AdWords... working? +10 GC Starter day before yesterday, none yesterday +52 3 subs -131.95 Sharon Davis PP = 1522 (saved 97 from RHC, and 20 from 24hr... but that means no exercise!) >> get off of 1SC, pronto! --- 04:07 FB-EP It was windy here yesterday, and as I drove up our road, I was inundated with the fresh, sweet smell of Eucalyptus! I inhaled hard, a few times, trying to anchor that scent, and that feeling, within me. =:^ ) --- >> Setup EQRocks using dif. menus http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-admin/admin.php?page=theme-settings&editor_tab=basic&updated=true www.Simpleology.com EQRocks main message, up top but sub-messages, below, or on slider like www.Simpleology.com index page drill down to each subtopic EQ at Work, EQ at Home, EQ in Schools, EQ for Relationships, EQ Family EQ Training, EQ Works!, EQ Success, EQ Healing, EQ Assessment EQ Resources, EQRocks Staff!, EQ Free Stuff --- >> confirm room with Shane --- EQ is moving humankind from human to kind. Moving from IQ to EQ to SQ Share Learn Grow --- a survey conducted by US department of labor in 1995 shows that 46% employees who quit their job do so because they feel unappreciated. http://www.citeman.com/4458-applying-emotions-to-work.html Deepak Chopra has given a formula of spiritual quotient in terms of Deed (D) and Ego (E). According to Deepak Chopra S.Q.=D/E. According to him if E is ‘zero’ the S.Q. will be infinite. A wise man is usually also an intelligent man but an intelligent man is not always a wise man. --- 05:25 EQRocks new post How EQ Works in our Brain http://www.eqrocks.com/how-eq-works-in-our-brain or http://www.eqrocks.com/?p=685 Ok, HERE's what's it's all about! This diagram shows BEAUTIFULLY what's missing in our lives and our world, and (IMHO) it's the #1 problem in our society today. Let me explain: Our logical Left-brain has been king for hundreds and thousands of years... while our creative, emotional Right-brain has been squashed, denied, avoided and disrespected. This ain't workin'! The world's not happy. People are afraid and angry, our level of addictions/suicides/crime/mental health/violence is not good, our economies are soft, we have homeless and hungry, and we're still at war. We're about ACTIVATING the Right-brain -- showing people the wonder and power that lies within our own heart and soul -- for our kids, in families, in homes, at work, in society (and maybe someday, in government)! Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the study and focus, the art and the science, the activation and the mastery of our incredible/healing/connecting/passionate Right-brain. When we learn to add our Left-brain knowledge, rules and skills (IQ), to Right-brain feelings, love and creativity (EQ), we may very well change our world, from the inside out. IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQRocks! Keywords/tags: Emotional Intelligence, EQ, What is EQ, Left brain, Right brain, Whole brain, awareness, emotions, feelings, mindfulness --- 7.16.2012 http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/48198048/ns/today-books/?ocid=ansmsnbc11 Stephen R. Covey, author of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," has died in Idaho three months after a serious bicycle accident in Utah. Sad news: We lost one of the great thought leaders of our day. I never heard Stephen mention EQ, per se, but his 7 Habits are an excellent meld of IQ and EQ to get things done. Forever grateful! "Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic." - Stephen R. Covey (RIP 07.19.2012) --- They say that people get older and wiser. We will definitely get older. We may or may not get any wiser. - mcp --- 07:00 WP Autoresponder Installing Plugin: WP Autoresponder And Newsletter Plugin 5.2.8 Downloading install package from http://downloads.wordpress.org/plugin/wp-responder-email-autoresponder-and-newsletter-plugin.zip… Unpacking the package… Installing the plugin… Successfully installed the plugin WP Autoresponder And Newsletter Plugin 5.2.8. in about 3 sec.! called Newsletters on Dashboard LNAV --- Prospects don't care what YOU would like to do. Never tell a prospect you'd like to make an appointment or give them a presentation. Instead, make a request or ask permission to do so and they will be more receptive. A person who is kind has the world in his hands. A person who is gentle with others will have those feeling returned most of the time. There are always people will be rude no matter how they are approached. Mankind is an odd animal. Posted by Deborah Adkins Discussion: Matt's EQ Stuff Matt, I appreciate you sharing about this movie (Hook). I am soooo much looking forward to see it this weekend!!! Posted by Olivia Tornai --- 07:16 searching: vb sql analyst --- The first time a man looks at an advertisement, he does not see it. The second time, he does not notice it. The third time, he is conscious of its existence. The fourth time, he faintly remembers having seen it before. The fifth time, he reads it. The sixth time, he turns up his nose at it. The seventh time, he reads it through and says, "Oh brother!" The eighth time, he says, "Here's that confounded thing again!" The ninth time, he wonders if it amounts to anything. The tenth time, he asks his neighbor if he has tried it. The eleventh time, he wonders how the advertiser makes it pay. The twelfth time, he thinks it must be a good thing. The thirteenth time, he thinks perhaps it might be worth something. The fourteenth time, he remembers wanting such a thing a long time. The fifteenth time, he is tantalized because he cannot afford to buy it. The sixteenth time, he thinks he will buy it some day. The seventeenth time, he makes a memorandum to buy it. The eighteenth time, he swears at his poverty. The nineteenth time, he counts his money carefully. The twentieth time he sees the ad, he buys what it is offering. - Thomas Smith of London in l885 --- Hey guys! As you may know, I've been applying for jobs like crazy, all across CA. However, on a few in Sacramento, I put down my home address as 3212 Cinnabar Ct (so commuting wouldn't be a concern right away)! Thought you might like to know, in case you get any bizarre mail addressed to me. I hope you don't mind. Hope you're having a nice summer and to see you some time this weekend. - Matt --- 07:47 LI-EIN by Nkechi At what age should we introduce our children to IE and what are the best tools. to be used to achieve the desired result. EI rules the word Good question. Our kids have grown up with EQ their whole lives now. It's not as much a teaching things as it is a showing thing... especially what is called "Experiential Empathy" -- actively reaching out to others, for the good of all -- but a combination of teaching and showing is the key! I'd like us to create more materials for parents to use in explaining/showing/living EQ in the home. (they've got plenty of negative role models... let's provide positives). Our parents didn't teach us EQ because they DID NOT KNOW. Now that we know, let's show! --- D-R Gallup Organization show that fully 2/3 of the existing working population are disengaged Research by Trust Across America demonstrates that productivity and profitability can be more than doubled in most organizations if they could achieve higher trust. --- 08:07 FB - Debbie Oppie I talked to Paula last night about an ND Sept. 14-15, and she's all for it! She runs the DV/SA crisis/women's shelter here in town and gets to meet plenty of people with emotional issues. Demand has never been a problem (there are plenty of people in pain), but get a student requires: a) desire/motivation to do something about it, b) belief/trust/faith that there's hope for relief, and c) ability and willingness to pay. How do we create a strong marketing message that can be inexpensive, yet effective? - https://thelane.solavei.com m@2gh / 2gh --- >> do testimonials like About.me where it's a big pic of the person and their supportive words are superimposed on top cool idea! --- Effective Feedback Language \MyDocs\Feedback Language.docx One of your key objectives in the feedback conversation is for your team member to take ownership of the problem and solution. Asking good questions will help this. Another objective is for your employee to come away knowing (and therefore feeling) is that you are on the same team. Using your emotional intelligence skill of empathy will help this. Your empathy will also keep the conversation calm, which will help your employee stay open. Below there are several language tips you can use. Remember that these will not work unless the words match what you are thinking and feeling on the inside. Use your own emotional intelligence to put yourself in a state where you can use these tips authentically. Starting the Conversation • I have a concern about ____(situation). Would you be willing to discuss this? • Can we explore this? • I noticed _____(behavior), and I’d like to work on this with you. • I am feeling dissatisfied with _____ (situation). Is now a reasonable time to talk about this? Exploring and Going Deeper • What are some other possibilities? • Perhaps we can discuss this further. • Can we look at another alternative? • What is another way to handle the situation? • What is another way of looking at this? • I’m not sure I follow, can you elaborate? • What are the obstacles? • What outcome do you want? Mirroring • It sounds like you are saying… • It seems like you are feeling… • I’d like to recap what I think you said: • So the way you see it is… • From your perspective, the situation is… Suggesting • Have you considered…? • Maybe there is a better way… • What would you think about…? • What about…? • How do you feel about..? Confirming the Course of Action • What is your conclusion? • Tell me what your thoughts are as a result of our discussion. • What is your understanding of our conversation today? • What is your game plan? • What will improve this situation? • What is the benefit of your choosing to make this change? • What support do you need from me to make this change? • What’s your take away from this? • Where do we go from here? --- A beautiful mess inside! ... midlife mindfulness, madness and mumblings Ever had a memory that sneaks out of your eye and rolls down your cheek... --- 09:01 Just found your page... and related right away! We do an intensive, emotional healing weekend workshop called New Directions where we work with our 'mess' inside! We heal our childhood wounds, reset limiting belief systems, and come out with eyes-and-heart-wide-open, ready to live, love and laugh (mess or not). I hope you find that we are serving the same need: Emotional Healing for all! http://facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop or http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com. --- In the midst of the deepest darkest night, when we feel most humbled by life, the faint shadow of our wings begins to appear. - Marianne Williamson ------------- mcp ----------- If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katherine Hepburn ------------- mcp ----------- Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment! bunch of cool saying photos https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.185151361561829.45498.178242035586095&type=3 --- Coping with the Emotional trauma after being raped http://videos.wisegeek.com/videos/517128523.htm (downloaded, 4:31, 17Mb) EmpowHER and How to Let your Emotions Out Trauma is relative own it, accept it, not be afraid of it, use it to give me strength and to reach out to others don't give it ownership over your life yeah, it hurts, but let's use it to add ways of being you in the world --- What Is an Amygdala Hijack? http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-amygdala-hijack.htm The term amygdala hijack describes any situation in which a person responds inappropriately based on emotional rather than intellectual factors. The amygdala is the emotional center of the human brain and can create split-second responses when a person is threatened. An inappropriate emotional response to a perceived threat is thus called an amygdala hijack. The term was invented by psychologist and journalist Daniel Goleman in his 1996 science bestseller, Emotional Intelligence. The amygdala is part of the brain for many of the higher vertebrates. It regulates the fight or flight response that is key to the survival mechanism for many animals, including humans and other primates. At the moment a threat is perceived, the amygdala can override the neocortex, the center of higher thinking, and initiate a violent response. In the wild or in the presence of actual physical threats, this can be a life-saving function. In ordinary day-to-day living, however, this amygdala hijack can inspire impulsive responses the person will later regret. On some levels, the human brain does not distinguish between a genuine threat to life or health and a subjective threat, such as loss of job status. While the latter might not even result in a change of income, a person who values a job highly may respond to such a status change as if it were an actual threat. If he or she takes inappropriate action against a co-worker or supervisor, however, the result could be a demotion or even the loss of the job. This illustrates Goleman’s three-stage definition of the amygdala hijack: emotional reaction, inappropriate response, and later regret. Goleman advises mindfulness training, such as meditation, to reduce the likelihood of an amygdala hijack. Meditation and similar exercises, such as tai chi, encourages a person to focus on his or her surroundings and process mental data in a calm state of mind. With practice, this kind of thinking will become second nature and can allow a person to retain a sense of calm focus even during crises. Goleman cites the 1997 boxing match in which Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield’s ear as a classic example of the amygdala hijack. Tyson lost control of his emotions and responded inappropriately, even by the standards of a violent sport. The result of this amygdala hijack was the temporary loss of Tyson’s boxing license and a $3 million US Dollars (USD) fine. Another example appears in T.S. Eliot’s 1922 poem The Waste Land, in which Eliot describes, “The awful daring of a moment's surrender/ Which an age of prudence can never retract.” --- class Aug. 17th Magiver here --- 10:44 Val Hi. A few things... 1. Following this email will be PayPal receipt for $131.95, for PR bookings of the 3 radio shows I was on last month. To account for the money, I updated the spreadsheet (attached) by adding Row 26 under PR Campaign. 2. Next Steps: So, Tina made EQRocks.com, and the foundation software is in place for the site and the membership functionality. The next step is to get it set it up correctly so that it can be used, and marketed, effectively. I will be hiring a Web Project Manager named Melinda to help me create a "marketing funnel" (offer intro products for free, then up-sell to fee-based services). We found a highly successful marketing model that we plan to emulate. The fee for the next month will be $400, and I believe this will lead us toward getting some solid income from memberships. I wanted to pass it by you before committing, but if it works for you, I can get her paid right away, and you can just do one check for 2 invoices. 3. The Brochure wording is also attached, in plain text format, but like I said, I think about HALF of it needs to go. Hope you're well. When's your next class? - Matt attachments: AngelFund_20120721.xls ND-Brochure.txt forwarded PayPal receipt for payment to Sharon Davis, 2work-at-home.com --- 10:45 to house for breakfast --- I have trouble with big negative generalizations, so I balked at the wording... but there's a big dif. between listening to understand and listening to reply! I've never heard it put that way, thanks for the concept. --- Design of EQRocks family site My Account, Site Map, Help, Log Out --- Karen Kelly interview Emotional Intelligence is recognizing others' emotions, and regulating them. having some self-control being aware of what your impact is on others, at home or at work recognizing other people's emotions, so you can true empathy for people and thereby be able to manage relationships. feelings give signals to our body like: sweaty hands when we're nervous or you get a knot in your stomach or your back or neck ache your body is telling you that there is something wrong and we medicate that... we take a tablet to make the headache go away but what's causing the stress is still there this actually gives you the tools to dig underneath and find out, How can I change things? if I have a difficult relationship you take control of your own life no more feeling helpless, exhausted, or overwhelmed How can we communicate that to you exhausted, overwhelmed motivated by fear fear of losing their job fear of not being good enough love is letting go of fear we don't unpack people's baggage in that setting, at all. we give you them the tools to move forward. 'cause the past is really that, you don't live there anymore the past is not where you live. and the power is in the now. corporates will send ... We do 2-day courses - 1:44 FB Chat TODAY SHOW.VOB with KAREN KELLY www.youtube.com My TV debut on 12th July 2012, on Bay TV, talking about emotional intelligence. Like · · Unfollow Post · Share · Friday at 1:42pm Karen Kelly Look Matt Perelstein. My debut. 3 hours ago · Like Matt Perelstein Yes, well done, Karen! Good examples, nice energy, timing and tone, and cool explanation of how emotions effect the body. "It's wonderful to see other people realize they are in control of their own lives. They are responsible for their own emotions..." Woohoo... one of my favorite feelings, as well! Keep up the good work. about an hour ago · Like · 1 Karen Kelly Thanks so much Matt Perelstein, your feedback makes me feel great. 56 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Matt Perelstein Actually, we should talk Karen... you said in the interview, "We don't unpack people's baggage in that setting, at all. We give them the tools to move forward... and the power is in the now." While I agree, and these are important tools, we do the opposite... we go toward the emotional baggage in an effort to relieve, release and replace it. There is a huge amount of emotional information provided by looking into one's past and unpacking that baggage, consciously and powerfully. Our past tells us how and why we 'decided' to be the person we have become, how we were formed, what pains, angers and saddens us, as a child and now as an adult, our family, our roots, and our core. It's also enlightening to discover our connections, or lack thereof, with others. There's nothing that builds empathy faster and more profoundly as when we build empathy for ourselves, and our own inner child! I believe the 'baggage handling' work provides a depth, and a breadth to EQ that I've not seen duplicated elsewhere. Of course, this would be tough to incorporate into a corporate or academic setting, but I've seen it done off-site. Let's talk! 26 minutes ago · Like · 1 Karen Kelly I agree with you however corporates can only spare 2 days away from work here. So I add to the course by follow up individual sessions where we unpack each persons baggage in a private setting. 24 minutes ago · Like Matt Perelstein ah, cool. Have you ever tried follow-on small group settings? There's something about the connection between people, when they help/accept/support/encourage each other thru their baggage, that creates a powerful bond between them. We've had people coming back for over 20 years because we are their 'safe place'. 19 minutes ago · Like · 1 Karen Kelly I would love to chat with you some more on this. Perhaps we should skype later in the week?? 17 minutes ago · Like --- >> find list of Powerful vs. Powerless Giving your Power Away: Blame Victim Resentment Long-standing Anger Protest Revenge --- LI-EIN Candi Lee Ross commented on How to get your Ex-Relation Back? After a raging Emotional break up? First, I think there has to be a sense of honesty with yourself as to why or what led to your "raging emotional break-up" in the first place. Was it some personal habits or traits, the lack of communication or even expressing yourself when enraged? What is it that you hope to gain from the reconnection? Is it habit? I never understood why individuals who claimed to care about each other expressed such hurtful words or displayed hurtful actions. I honestly always try to write down my thoughts, non-stop when I am upset and then I feel much better and have gained insight and perspective to what led me to feel the way I did. This allowed me to communicate the action that led to my feelings and understand the opposite point of view. I have exs that I remain friends with to this day because we are better friends than lovers; it took a long journey inward to accept the true role, we as individuals were to play in each other’s lives. --- Here are a few choices we get to make, every second of every day, from here on... Choices: Powerful or Powerless Hopeful or Hopeless Anger or Love Sadness or Joy Depression or Personal Power Responsible or Victim Guilty or Self-Forgiving Shame or Fame Chill or Pill Healthy or Lame Shoulds or Coulds Action or Reaction Respond or React IQ or EQ Head or Heart Do or Not Be or Not Feel or Not Give or Take Pride or Hide Satisfied or Calcified Bitchy or Richy Optimist or Pessimist Positive or Negative Half-empty or Half-full Clean or Dirty Good or Evil Happy or Miserable Appreciation or Entitlement Intimacy or Abandonment --- 3 Steps to Emotional Literacy 1. Awareness what, when, why, how, who 2. Acceptance reality 3. Action do or not, express or not change belief systems or not --- mcp testimonial Matt: The man, the myth, the legend! - Sydney Fry Rutherdale --- dammit went up to house for lunch and never returned here... and had LOTS to do! worked on back garden and front rocks and pizza for dinner and fell asleep watching a movie. dammit --- 7.23 06:23 LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: At what age should we introduce our children to IE and what are the best tools. to be used to achieve the desired result. EI rules the word I agree perfectly with Matt, we really need postive teaching materials to help our kids even us , as we teach we learn. and perfect our EQ. Some of the challenges and short comings some of us face today is as a result of lack of this knowlege, on the part our parents. Now that we know Yes! we ve got to practise, preach and pass it round. Wonderful group. I love you all for these excellent contribution. Posted by Nkechi Odebiyi --- 6 orders today 5 subs, 1 GC starter, not good --- Six Characteristics of Highly Persuasive Stories http://www.neurosciencemarketing.com/blog/articles/persuasive-stories.htm Wed, Jul 18, 2012 Neuromarketing One of the toughest persuasion tasks is convincing a jury in a courtroom. Car salespeople have it easy by comparison – they control the environment and have the undivided attention of the customer. Imagine if you were in a Lexus showroom listening to why you should buy one of their vehicles, and at your elbow was a BMW salesperson, periodically objecting to the Lexus pitch and then delivering her own. That’s the situation in a courtroom – arguments presented by one side will be directly (and mercilessly) attacked by the other side. One trial-proven persuasion strategy is the use of stories. Researchers Philip Mazzocco and Melanie Green draw a contrast between rhetorical persuasion, in essence arguing with facts and logic, and the use of narratives to influence decisions. They conclude that stories are more effective at changing emotional beliefs that logical arguments have difficulty reaching. The whole discussion is an interesting read, but for me one big takeaway is the list of factors that have been found to make stories more persuasive: Delivery Counts. For spoken narratives (as one normally finds in a courtroom), a good storyteller is more persuasive than a mediocre one. Dramatic pacing, use of imagery, and other factors affect the impact the story has on the listener. (If your story will be told in written form, it’s safe to assume that effective use of language and an appropirate narrative style will have that same effect.) And, as I described in Stories Synchronize Brains, when a story is told properly, there’s a sort of mind-meld connection between the teller and listener. Vivid Imagery. Immersive images will enable the audience to “see” the characters and scenes being described, and will trump dry factual information that lacks that impact. (If you have any doubts, brain scans show vivid action imagery lights up the reader’s or listener’s brain as if he were performing those same actions: Your Brain on Stories Realism and Understandability. Even if you are painting a fictional picture with the story, its elements need to relate to the reality that the audience is familiar with, for example, basic human motivations. Needless to say, the audience must be able to understand the story – the authors point out that Shakespeare resonates with readers because he was so in tune with human nature, but a younger audience might not make that connection for language reasons. A response to the article by Glen Kuper notest that stories must be coherent (“narrative probability”) and consistent with the listeners past experiences (“narrative fidelity”) Structure. Stories need to flow in a logical manner, and usually have a beginning, middle, and end. Suspense can keep an audience tuned in. Starting with a provocative question or curious situation will make listeners want to hear what comes next. Context and Surroundings. The same story may vary in its persuasive impact depending on the context in which it is told. A story told by a pushy salesperson will be less believable because listeners will attribute ulterior motives to the person telling it. At a more basic level, problematic surroundings (like a noisy environment, or, presumably, a web page with distracting elements near the text) can also reduce the story’s effectiveness. Audience. This is one factor you may not have direct control over: people vary in their ability to be transported by stories. Stories will be less likely to persuade audience members who lack the imagination to visualize what they are hearing or reading. While the authors suggest a simple test that could be used to evaluate potential jurors, most of us won’t be able to evaluate customers in that manner. If you could identify your less imaginative prospects, though, you could attempt to persuade them with logic and argument rather than a narrative. Rational vs. Experiential Mazzocco and Green find evidence that human brains process information in two ways, rational appraisal and “experiential.” The first includes digesting facts, comparing new information to one’s knowledge and past experience, etc. The second, in contrast, “involves the construction of an imaginary world filled with quasi-experiences.” It’s the experiential processing – creating the experience (that didn’t really happen) in the customer’s mind that can be reached most effectively by stories. The authors suggest that we can only think in one mode at a time, so the persuader should shift approaches depending on which style would be most effective in supporting each phase of the argument. There’s another way to look at this duality: We make our decision emotionally (and, to varying degrees, unconsciously), and then let our rational processes justify that decision with facts. So, here’s the Neuromarketing takeaway: even if you can persuade at the emotional level with a story, you may still need to provide factual persuasion elements to keep the customer’s entire brain happy. "NLP provides a systematic framework for directing our own brain. It teaches us how to direct not only our own states and behaviors, but also the states and behaviors of others. In short, it is the science of how to run your brain in an optimal way to produce the results you desire." - Tony Robbins --- 09:22 Hi Melinda, and THANKS for the follow up(s)! I sent the request to my investor and awaiting feedback. When I wrote, her autoreply said she'd reply on 7.30... so it may well be next week before we can get started. Here's an updated list of ToDos: -make EQRocks the same theme as NDW (we won't need the EQ-101.com WP site, if EQRocks is done right) -advise on design and help set up membership area, modeled after Simpleology.com -set up wp-autoresponder (I already installed it) -export/import info from 1SC to wp-autoresponder -30-min weekly phone call for marketing coaching -help with blogging and ongoing marketing -help with funnel development, call to actions and upsells , wp access How'z that all sound? - Matt NDW: www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com EQRocks, where wp-autoresponder and WishListMember are installed: www.EQRocks.com EQ-101: blog only, but blog posts are also in EQRocks --- Jobs >> contact Greg Abel Business Analyst with Public Safety experience (JSGA12-22803/4778141) http://www.job.com/my.job/search/page=jobview/key=131502289/p=2/pt=2/qs=3/c=35/r=46/kw=vb%20sql%20analyst/kt=2/ns=1/f=60/rpp=10/ 09:33 LM >> Contact:Jason CasaniAddress:251 S. Lake Ave Ste. 400 Pasadena, CA 91101Phone:(626) 568-1541 http://seeker.dice.com/jobsearch/servlet/JobSearch?op=101&dockey=xml/9/8/9855710b80c43d82ff5f194ad1017243@endecaindex&c=1&source=61&CMPID=AG_JOB_PD_JS_AV_OG__&utm_source=Job.com&utm_medium=Aggregator&utm_content=&utm_campaign=Advocacy_Ongoing&DFA=1 Hi. I believe I am uniquely qualified for this position as I have over 20 years as a database developer, and the 10 specifically in SQL Server. I have created numerous databases, from scratch, and upgraded, transferred, performed ETL and I've even been a full-time SQL Server DBA for the State of CA and others. Please review my resume and contact me to discuss this position. Thank you. - Matt Perelstein 09:37 LM >> contact Sarah Bales, Yoh Phone Number: (916) 479-6309 http://seeker.dice.com/jobsearch/servlet/JobSearch?op=101&dockey=xml/e/1/e1295f7814c4769b8b37b0bc7acbf98b@endecaindex&c=1&source=61&CMPID=AG_JOB_PD_JS_AV_OG__&utm_source=Job.com&utm_medium=Aggregator&utm_content=&utm_campaign=Advocacy_Ongoing&DFA=1 10:15 --- Job App: Technical Analyst (SQL and Data Profiling) https://technologies.randstadusa.com/apply.aspx?jobid=270298&source=STNAWebSite-Dice posted: 7/17/2012 job id: 270298 category: Database Development industry: Healthcare location: Mather, CA type: Contract required experience: 3 years questions about this job?: (916) 649-8330 description: We have a 6 month contract opportunity for a Technical Analyst with SQL and Data Profiling skills in the greater Sacramento area. Required Skills: Strong SQL skills, Data analysis and profiling skills and experience,Experience and skills in reporting . Preferred Skills: Experience with Initiate software,Windows and UNIX system management experience, Development background,HL7 experience Experience with SQL Server 2005, 2008, Java, .NET, Tomcat, Microsoft Office tools --- mcp testimonial LI-EIN Ginger Robinson commented on Matt's EQ Stuff I am a high school Counselor. I have watched a number of my students with very high IQs, not make it in life (chemical dependency) because they had low EQs. I will be taking 26 teen leaders on a retreat soon. My activities are designed to teach them about Emotional Quotient. It will make them better mentors, role models and leaders in our school. I jotted down some of your thoughts, Matt, to share at the retreat. Thank you for your insight! - Christine P. commented on If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Hi Hamdy, Wherewithal: Meaning a person is emotionally stable enough that they do not respond in a knee jerk, reactionary fashion (defensiveness) and regret their actions later. It describes a person who is present in the moment, remains calm and contained by exercising emotional self-discipline (albeit they can be angry and frustrated on the inside). They assess situations from various points of view (considers everyone’s individual motivating factors), and responds in a manner that is positive and takes action to move everyone forward (towards the overall objective). - Pride limits Pride limits my ability to see my own errors and sins. Pride makes it easier to see the mistakes and sin of others. Pride makes me think I am better than others Pride makes me a poor listener Pride makes me interrupt you to share my thoughts Pride makes me question the motives of others Pride blocks me from testing my own motives Pride makes me assume that I am immune to particular sins Pride makes me unable to ask for forgiveness Pride makes me sarcastic Pride makes me cynical Pride makes me lazy by telling me I have done enough already to earn my pay. Pride makes me insensitive, because I don't care about your feelings. Pride makes me justify the sin in my life, while condemning the same sin in others Pride makes me voice my disapproval of others Pride makes me think I am a good at what I do Pride makes me think I am better than others Pride makes me think i am humble for working through this study Pride makes me over emphasize “me” in ministry, and underestimate God Pride makes me want to have the last word Pride makes me compare myself with others Pride makes me control the people around me Pride makes me justify my own action while criticizing the actions of others Pride makes me not want to do what I am told Pride makes me like my ideas Pride makes me value what I do more than others Prides makes me value what I say more than others Pride makes me not want to wear my seat belt Pride makes me think that laws do not apply to me Pride makes me ashamed to share the gospel Pride is something that God loves Pride makes me more concerned about how I am perceived, than how I really am. Pride makes me dress to impress others Pride makes me pimp my ride Pride makes me talk about things that interest me and not others Pride makes me disagree with others before I have heard them out Pride makes me overestimate my own skill Pride makes me underestimate the skill of others Pride makes me think someone may think more of my study on pride. Pride makes me think I can lead worship better than another. Pride makes me think I can preach better than another. Pride makes me think I can teach better than others Pride make me pity myself Pride makes me think I am not able to teach Pride makes me think I am not able to serve Pride makes me think I deserve credit I have not earned Pride makes me think that I am too good to do certain jobs or tasks Pride makes me harm relationships Pride makes me unwilling give Pride makes me isolate myself from others Pride makes me think I cannot do better Pride is okay if I am not a Christian Pride makes me unwilling to ask for help Pride makes me jealous of others Pride makes me envious of others Pride makes me avoid correction Pride makes me unteachable Pride makes me flaunt my knowledge Pride makes me make me a poor witness Pride makes me unwilling to witness Pride makes me angry Pride makes me bitter Pride makes me selfish Pride makes me take credit for God's work Pride makes me take credit for the work of others Pride makes me find my security in myself Pride makes me overestimate my worth as a person Pride makes me underestimate my worth as a person Pride makes me look down on others Pride makes me say I am not proud, I am just honest Pride makes me sick! - Sharon Tenney commented on When referring to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs doesn’t the self-actualization level, indicate and/or link to EI? Ethics? Empathy? Your... Thanks Josh. As a social worker (and in my own life) I have seen lots of things on the lower rung. I also think that if something is a "need," that it does not mean that there is not gratitude, emotional feelings for being able to survive, and an impetus to find ways to get ahead. Obviously, there are all kinds of combinations, however, I do think that those at the top rung (like in the days of "Old Money" where those families made it a vow to help those who were still struggling) can create not only change in themselves but also change for others. It may appear as if it's a singular succession, however, working together, can create leaps up the ladder (pyramid) that could not otherwise be possible. In that kind of case it's "win-win." I only pointed it out because I've seen people at the top being disparaging to those at the bottom. Not all at the bottom are druggies, mentally ill or anything like that -- life is complicated, and although not all may start there, there are many who do who have the EQ to not only empathize with others at their same level, but also can "feel" and empathize with those at the top. I think sometimes people either forget, or don't seem to realize the impact that they can have on others. EQ is used for many things -- and since we're talking about Maslow, then helping others in the littlest ways (even a smile, or a "Hello," or just looking them in the eye and being kind) can be effective to instill "hope." EQ runs the gamut -- it does not have to be purely "self-actualization" because as you look at that word, the first is "self," and with EQ, I would also like to see the word "Others" added to it. Just my opinion from working in the trenches! :) Thanks. - What is one of the most emotionally intelligent, empowering questions you've asked or have been asked, and what was the result? Ray Mathis • Janice, in the classroom and as a parent, I always lived by a simple rule. It's a rule lawyers live by in courtrooms. Never ask a question for which you won't like the answer (i.e. How could you be so stupid?) or for which there probably won't be a good answer (WHY did you do that?) Like you said, most people have built up defenses to keep what they think and feel a secret because they think it reflects badly on them. That's why having Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA), and oozing it from your pores, and encouraging them to have USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance is such a crucial first step in intervening. So many who make mistakes have been asked "Why'd you do that?" many, many times before in their lives, and couldn't come up with an answer, or the one they gave wasn't good enough for those asking. Sometimes it's simply because their irrational thoughts become so automatic from rehearsal or practice that they become relatively unaware of them. When they hear "Why...?" they plug into some old and deep cognitive, emotional and behavioral "RUTS" in their brains. It becomes just one more time that they are not going to be able to come up with an answer, or one that's acceptable to others, and just one more time and way they haven't lived up to others expectations. --- 10:02 http://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=437ddd1e710eed08&q=%28vb+or+sql+or+analyst%29+AND+%28Technology+or+%22software+developer%22+or+%22IT+specialist%22+or+%22Electronic+Technician%22%29&l=Sacramento%2C+California&tk=172nlsbfc0k101er&from=api&advn=9136883011816569 Hi. I believe I am uniquely qualified for this position! I have over 20 years of database design and development, including as a SQL Server DBA, I have worked with many customers on functional specs and turned them into apps, I have experience with VB, IIS and SharePoint, and excellent customer-facing skills. Please call ASAP to discuss this project! Thanks. - Matt --- Sutter Health - 10:23 Hi Matt, Here's my resume (and a copy of my MCP card), please get me submitted to Sutter! Thanks. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 10:42 Excellent! Everyone (exc. Paul) voted to add all 3 new BOD Members. Well done, gang. I like when things are easy! I believe we should invite all 3 to the Aug. 2 BOD mtg to discuss our future. So, now we have people ready and willing to take on the big roles that Ann and Michael yearned for... yay! We (theoretically) have a Development Mgr, an (experienced) Ops Mgr, and help with PR and more. Actually, A & M had often listed a HR director in with their wishes, but I never quite understood what this person would do, or why it was so important to them... I asked Paul, and he didn't know either... can someone please enlighten us, from their POV (point of view)? As you also know, I would still like to be the next Exec. Dir, especially if we can get me paid by VMC, rather than by MFF. Arlene, or anyone, do you know whether the increased bed tax was approved (I couldn't find it anywhere online)? If it was, Paul and I discussed this, and we believe VMC will be further motivated to take us on (with our conditions in place, of course). Feedback? Thanks. - Matt --- Property taxes due due: 12/10/11 $729.15 due: 4/10/12 $749.15 1478.30 Nations Title send to you or to county on credit card? no, but county might to: Mendocino Tax Collector Nations Lending Services Attn: Jason, Closing Dept 3700 Corporate Drive, Suite 200 Columbus, OH 43231 614-890-5950 EucProducts: 1500 - 800 = 700 Directions: 900 + 399 = 1300 800 out of EucProducts PP = 1545 -44 USPS -800 for tax bill!?!(!) --- brassring 2gh! --- Offered job at IMS! $53/hour for 6 mo. 80K after awaiting written offer completed Background check info >> need to sign release for background check Sheeva is FedEx'ing it to me --- A Mental, Emotional & Social Tool Kit for Life http://www.itsjustanevent.com/ Ray Mathis The bulk of these tools are from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Education (REBE), an evidence-based approach to cognitive-behavioral therapy developed by the late Dr. Albert Ellis. It is not therapy. It's education based on therapy. It's a highly effective self-help approach to problems in schools and businesses. --- 11:57 good grief... the morning's now gone. rebooting (as Windows Explorer won't run!) --- Disappointment = Expectations/Results - Results ? >> don't remember, ask paula --- , MURPHY! do main menu and main form and send screenshots send file to test... combine into 1 MDB EQ-101. wow. --- 12:53 Start Dev... JPM.mdb --- 1:01 Subject: RE: Donation to CEF Silent Auction From: "Jennifer Flowers" To: Hi Matt! I am so sorry for such a delay in responding to your e-mail. I was out of the country for awhile and am just now getting caught up on everything. Wow..this is an awesome donation! Thank you so much. Yes, I agree, sending just before show time is the best for these items. I will check with AZA to see if there are additional ways to advertise / spread the word about your product. Thanks again for the donation and I will be back in touch with you soon. Take care, Jennifer Jennifer Flowers Director, Membership & Guest Services The Phoenix Zoo 455 N Galvin Pkwy Phoenix, AZ 85008 www.phoenixzoo.org 602.914.4336 - Office 602.617.3976 - Cell jflowers@thephxzoo.com -----Original Message----- From: Matt [mailto:matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Friday, July 13, 2012 3:25 PM To: Jennifer Flowers Subject: Donation to CEF Silent Auction Hi Jennifer, I don’t mind donating some fresh Eucalyptus to your event (oh, I just noticed it’s on 9/11 – very cool!). I just wanted to let you know because the site says to send in our donation early… but it’s better if we send it in just before showtime. You can put me down for a: 5 lb. Fresh Euc Combo Pack ($50 value): - 2 lb. Fresh Euc Branches - 2 lb. Fresh Euc Leaves - 1 lb. Euc Chew Sticks - ¼ lb. Dried Euc Leaves I’ve been providing regular shipments of fresh Euc leaves to 2 zoos… I often wonder where the other zoos get Eucs from because some animals, like the Giant Prickly Stick Insects, eat little else. Koalas eat them, sugar gliders go berserk over them (like how catnip effects cats!) and birds chew, forage and gnaw on the branches and leaves. Do you have a program or other way to advertise? Nothing big like a sponsorship, but I don’t think most animal people know that clean, fresh, unsprayed Eucalyptus cuttings are readily and regularly available. Best wishes for a great show! Thanks. - Matt http://www.EucProducts.com http://Facebook.com/EucProducts --- Craigslist Ad, Sac edited, but no Repost, so still 6/25 date Database Dude, Extraordinaire! For the past 20 years, I have personally analyzed, designed and developed over 100 Microsoft Access and/or SQL Server applications for the federal govt, 14 CA-state agencies, counties, cities, non-profits and businesses large and small.

I'll design your database for you, guide you, or do it for you.

Contact me today for database analysis and design, or coding in Access, Office and SQL Server.
- prefer working remotely, but have motorhome, will travel
- reasonable rates
- easy to work with
- ... and I speak, and write, English very well.
Matt Perelstein
(916) 599-8597

Resume
PDF: http://www.MattPerelstein.com/MattPerelsteinsResume.pdf
DOC: http://www.MattPerelstein.com/MattPerelsteinsResume.doc


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- SharePoint, SourceSafe, Visual Studio, Visual FoxPro, dBase --- Megan 916-525-8340 Stability Technology Partners SQL server dev 776558 Sutter data analysis, long term, 60+ contract to hire, 68k drug &background physical & tb test EPIC, - Hi Megan, a. My resume is attached. b. Yes, those rates are fine c. No, I've never worked for Sutter before d. Yes, I grant you Exclusive Authorization to represent me. Thanks! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Sutter Opportunity From: "Megan Vargas" Date: Mon, July 23, 2012 3:27 pm To: Hi Matt, Thanks for taking my call this afternoon. Per our conversation, please do send me a Word copy of your resume. Just to recap, I will submit your resume to Sutter for both the contract only and contract to hire data analyst positions at a minimum of 60 per hr W2 (unless you have your own corporation) and a FT salary expectation of 90K (which is high for what they are looking for, but we can try). Also, below is a copy of the right to represent form which you can copy and paste into a new email and send back. Also, one question they ask if you have ever worked at Sutter as a contractor in the past? I forgot to ask you on the phone, have you? Thanks and I look forward to working with you! -Megan Exclusive Authorization Return of this email confirms that Matt Perelstein, has given Stability Technology Partners the sole and exclusive right to seek technical staffing assignments for Sutter Health. This exclusive authorization will be effective for 90 days. Any other company which submits my name or resume for such assignments during this period has done so without my authorization and consent. This approved returned email will serve as notice to Sutter Health that Stability Technology Partners has the exclusive right to seek staffing assignments for me within the term of this Authorization. July 23rd, 2012 _______________________ Effective Date --- Hi Elizabeth. We're still on for tomorrow at 2 to tape the first showing of EQ-101, right? We just needed to confirm that I can show a DVD, which is a 12-min. ABC News 20/20 segment from 1996 with Barbara Walters, et. al. It says on the credits that we cannot charge for showing it, but we're not charging, so is it ok, as far as you know? I'll also have the image for the center of the podium made up. Would you do me a favor and measure that space, please, so I can have it cut correctly? Thanks much. - Matt 962-9006 --- yay -- thanks for the info! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Tuesday shoot From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Mon, July 23, 2012 2:33 pm To: Hi matt, Yes we are on for 2pm tomorrow. It sounds like the DVD permission is fine- but again we don't take any responsibility for permissions so it is on you if the feds or someone questions. I would not worry about it though, just making it clear. the flat space we want to be filled on the desk is 36inch wide by 24" tall see you tomorrow. On Jul 23, 2012, at 2:16 PM, wrote: Hi Elizabeth. We're still on for tomorrow at 2 to tape the first showing of EQ-101, right? We just needed to confirm that I can show a DVD, which is a 12-min. ABC News 20/20 segment from 1996 with Barbara Walters, et. al. It says on the credits that we cannot charge for showing it, but we're not charging, so is it ok, as far as you know? I'll also have the image for the center of the podium made up. Would you do me a favor and measure that space, please, so I can have it cut correctly? Thanks much. - Matt 962-9006 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Meeting today at 2pm From: Date: Wed, June 27, 2012 4:46 pm To: "Elizabeth Swenson" Hi Elizabeth. Thank you for meeting with me to get ready for EQ-101. I'll touch base with you around the 9th to see how your schedule looks, so we can get started that week or the week after. Best wishes on the trial. I'm sorry it's gotten personal... stay strong! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Meeting today at 2pm From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Wed, June 27, 2012 1:27 pm To: yes, we are on- It would have been better for me to have seen power points in advance- I may not have enough time available today to review power points. On Jun 27, 2012, at 12:53 PM, wrote: Hi Elizabeth, We were meeting today at 2:00 to figure out the set for EQ-101, right? You wanted me to email you the PowerPoint, but I'll just bring it with me. Ok? Thanks. - Matt Perelstein 962-9006 --- 3:27 Tracy McDaniel Tracy McDaniel shared a link "https://tracymcdaniel.scentsy.us/Scentsy...": "Super excited about joining the Scensy Wickless Candles! I am now an Independant Consultant so if you want to host a party or just place an order please visit my site at https://tracymcdaniel.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Home" https://tracymcdaniel.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Home tracymcdaniel.scentsy.us --- 3:33 completing KForce Background checker from LexisNexis --- >> write to Josh on Wednesday --- applied for more jobs in Sac! last chance --- Good stuff, Ray, and good question(s), Kimberly! What I do, just for fun, is instead of asking people HOW they are doing (which they almost always answer "fine" or "good"), I ask "WHAT are you feeling?". It kinda throws people off a bit, they actually consider the question, then often give a much more real answer. Try it! --- RIDE motorcycle with Jessie and Aiden(?) for awhile Paula on back for a bit, to Diana's fun! dinner movie crash on chair --- 7.24 01:30 up, ESPN 02:50 here printing 50 Euc leaves doc , EQ-101 is today at MCTV!(!) --- Euc Testimonials Matt's Eucalyptus is AMAZING! My gliders are ALL over it! Especially my baby Kalani. She's absolutely OBSESSED and won't leave it alone! LOL! kiki on GC I still have the leaves in the packet in my fridge and yes they loved throwing them around the cage and playing with them. Going to put more in the cage tonight for them. It also smells soooo devine. I will definitely order again. - T in South Africa! --- 03:20 Hi Jenny. I hope you and your gliders are happy and well! Congrats on your (semi-)new appointment to be a GC moderator. I was wondering if you could delete my post #824010. It was written well over a year ago and offers Eucs at a ridiculously low price for GC members... which is nice... but it's losing me money. Let me know if that's do-able. Thanks much! - Matt p.s. - Jenny, do you need any more Eucs? Since you've been a loyal customer, and for helping out on GC, I am hereby inviting you to use my super-secret HALF-price page, from now on! Eucs half price: http://www.eucproducts.com/pricelist_sale.html (please don't share this with anyone... but do you use it next time you order!) --- It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult... your words and actions have consequences in your child's life, use them wisely. - Ann Smith ---------- mcp ------------ "If you want to be happy, BE." - Leo Tolstoy --- my resume on corp-to-corp. http://www.corp-corp.com/emp/EMP_view_rs.aspx?RSID=MP371171 says my VBA skills are 'low'... wtf? whatever. i gotta job. --- 04:13 Cancelled Enhanced Identity Theft Protection, $15.95/mo. Confirmation https://www.enhanceditp.com/secure/Cancel.aspx Your Membership has been Cancelled. Your Confirmation #: WEB_PGP140_7.24_2012 We're sorry to see you go. Should you ever feel the need to have more control over your identity, Enhanced Identity Theft Protection is here to help. Be sure to add https://www.enhanceditp.com to your favorites, so we're always just a click away. Learn how to get your latest credit report when you call us at 1-800-358-5098. --- back to eq101 f6 distract-o-sourus the distractions are around personal responsibility I don't want to SEE what I create / cause / break / ruin / f-up the interruptions are around: I don't want to HEAR what pain I caused the fighting for 20 years is about: I don't want to BE RESPONSIBLE for what I create (exc. for the good stuff) apparently, I still feel the need to be punished. sometimes I think it's me, and I must want all this discord. and sometimes I think, man, she's just emotionally whacko - do any words have 'uo' in them? - I am sooo glad I can type sooo fast!! man, I get so much done that way. I can write an email, sometimes, in 10 secs. takes longer to send then to type. --- 04:23 http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=75300&type=member&item=90574234&commentID=89051304&goback=%2Egmp_75300&report%2Esuccess=8ULbKyXO6NDvmoK7o030UNOYGZKrvdhBhypZ_w8EpQrrQI-BBjkmxwkEOwBjLE28YyDIxcyEO7_TA_giuRN#commentID_89051304 What's the Main Point of EQ? If you had one 'sound bite' / message / concept to say to the world re: EQ, what would it be? I'm still working on it, but for now, the main thing I want people to "get" is about Emotional Responsibility: - Our Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours are 100% OURS, alone -- we have total power and control over them -- and we have the freedom to know, accept and choose what we do with our head, our heart and our hands. - Hey, how about: "Feel Strong!" Lance Armstrong says, "Live Strong!" We could say, "Feel Strong!" (it's a suggestion, and a statement, and an enticement, all at the same time.) --- Melinda, We need to post my writings. do a half-hour test I'm very curious as to how long this will take. I had a $35/hour VA tell me she could do between 5-10 an hour, so that's why I'm talking to you. I believe a fairly competent keyboardist could do 3-5 times that. We'll need a cool HTML 'template' to sendout the ARs I want a lower $ VA to go thru my notes and copy/paste them into separate docs, by subject. if unsure, dupes are fine. every single post has --- and - dates don't matter skip the personal stuff and just grab the good stuff, the EQ stuff, the ND stuff, the D-R stuff much of it is copies of emails I've written, and notes about looking for a job, and what I did that day, and some thoughts about me and my life. Everything is time-stamped, but time can be ignored... I mostly just want semi-relevant EQ thoughts. And the Testimonials: - ND Testimonials - Euc Testimonials - MCP Testimonials - other? Categories - EQ / ND / Emotional Intelligence - D-R (anything that is marked with D-R goes here AND in the EQ folder) - ND Testimonials - Euc Testimonials - MCP Testimonials Quotes? MCP Quotes all start with tab+-+space - Next Steps - We'll take the EQ collection and break it up further into subjects/lessons/tips/categories same thing, copy and paste. Quotes, too. - Post 'em up, and into ARs, by category - and make Top 10s, and EQ Quotes (3/day), and lessons, and tips suggestion: may want to start at the top read from a --- to next --- copy from --- to line above next --- (to leave the separator in tact) if it's not EQish, nuke it. clean, thorough --- -05:33+ good writing in EQ101! Top 10's good, original stuff(!) --- 05:37 FB To Robin, who's in NYC Go Mets! I got to see them play at Shea Stadium one time when I was little, and been a fan ever since. My parents are both from Brooklyn and my grandparents lived on Long Island... used to visit frequently, including 1 whole summer... great memories! Enjoy the big Apple! --- I get a lot of positives from the Indian EQ women. feels good. I did it at first to connect with them. Now I do it to connect with me. so every connection we make with another, may be a connection we are trying to make with ourselves! isn't every satisfying relationship really just a FEELING inside of us? couldn't we create that feeling without the relationship? --- What I've been exploring is the deep-ness of the learning... is it a top-of-mind, easy-to-forget learning, or a deeper, open-heart message to ourselves. --- FB: Feeling Notes What I've been exploring is the deep-ness of the learning... is it a top-of-mind, easy-to-forget learning, or a deeper, open-heart message to ourselves. Every teacher strives to have students take their teachings to heart, to make them a part of the student, to carry with them. What fascinates me about EQ, is when people are Totally in touch with the depth of their feeling (and, as Hanny mentioned, they feel safe!), they can open their heart to profound, life-changing lessons. They can even change their core meanings -- the personal belief systems, underneath, and behind, our thoughts and our feelings -- which changes Everything! Our ultimate choice in life is what Meaning we choose to place on things, how we let the outside, effect our inside. Meanings are a doorway, a portal, if you will, a peephole, from in to out. we watch, we see, we feel, we observe --- Post and Pray! daily Post, if I say something, almost anything, on some social media somewhere, I'm good for the day. I should skip thru them... yeah, when I have the time, right? I hope I can pull of hiring a VA instructions are good. >> finish 'em and make this happen... it's important because it allows my stuff to be published. --- know where I get the most active love in my life right now? Bella girl. she actively loves, she leans, she touches, she licks, she plops her big leg on top of some body part, she drapes her long jowels, she loves, actively, and and honestly, while looking straight in the eyes. and her coat is sooo soft, and she's always warm. so nice(!) --- Eleven Really Useful Techniques for Successful Presentations http://www.managingamericans.com/blogFeed/Eleven-Really-Useful-Techniques-for-Successful-Presentations.htm How do you define a GREAT presentation? Is it the comfort level you feel when presenting, OR the positive response you get from your audience? What if I told you that it should be both…by that definition, are you a great presenter? Let’s delve into the elements of a successful presentation and discuss eleven really useful techniques you can implement right away. 1) Define the reason you are presenting; what is the RESULT you want to achieve? Are you training others, looking for investors, trying to sell a product or service, trying to get your budget or plan approved?…The list can go on an on. It is important to be very specific about what you want before you prepare your presentation. Your result must resonate throughout your presentation so that by the time you get to the end, the message is clear. So take the time in the beginning of the process to write out the result you want to achieve, and be specific. 2) Build your presentation points yourself; the story needs to be yours. If you are given a pre-made presentation to present, modify it to your voice. Make sure you brush up on your PowerPoint skills so you have the ability to do this. It may be as simple as adding in transition slides, but you need to make it yours. 3) Make sure your presentation tells a story with a beginning, a middle and end. The beginning should resonate with the place your audience is currently at mentally (Obviously you must know your audience!). If, for example, your area of the business has not been doing well…start there. That is what they know, don’t hide it, get their attention by proving you understand them and their concerns. The middle of the presentation should be a philosophical journey taking them from point A (the beginning of the presentation), through to point F, to point N, to point T. The end of the presentation should be obvious by the time you get there. You will have taken your audience on a journey; their mindset should have transformed to where you want them to be. The end of your presentation should be your final points making sure there is a take away that everyone can clearly and collectively define. An actionable summary that includes follow-up dialog, approvals, timeframes, etc.… 4) Practice in front of a mirror, every page, over and over. Nobody gives a presentation with 3x5 cards, or at least they shouldn’t. Those days are over. You need to be able to give your presentation at least 10 different ways. By practicing in front of a mirror, you will force yourself to have eye contact, be aware of your appearance and be comfortable with the information you are presenting. The more you practice, the better able you will be to adlib the material, answer questions and modify your approach based on the response of your audience. Practice your presentation from start to finish and time yourself as if you were giving it to your audience. Don’t start over mid way through…you can’t do that when it is real, so why practice that way. Keep to your allotted time and modify your presentation accordingly. 5) Memorize the first two or three sentences of your presentation, and the last two or three sentences as well. DO NOT memorize anything in-between. You need to be able to adlib the majority of the presentation, but don’t leave yourself in an uncomfortable position in the begging or end. You must force yourself off to a good start and finish on a high note, no matter what happened in-between. Make your words meaningful, use some humor if you like but make sure it is actually funny. I recommend some powerful statements that ask a question like…why are we here? 6) Hear the sound of your voice before you present. We all get nervous, no matter whom we are. One way to overcome this fear is to hear the sound of your own voice in the room you are going to present in. Make a point to strike a conversation with people in the room prior to the presentation, introduce yourself, shake hands, and keep the dialog light; off topic. The sound of your voice will relax you and eliminate the anxiety that builds before you “officially” speak. Use cues throughout your presentation for areas you need some help remembering...this will help calm your nerves. You can do this by adding transition slides to slow you down and help move to the next topic. Or adding popup bubbles on a graph or financial statement that define changes in the data, so you don’t have to remember everything when you are getting bombarded with questions. When your audience starts questioning your work, these queues will show them you are prepared and have already done your homework. 8) Use either water or dissolving breath strips to combat dry mouth during your presentation. We have all been there…embarrassing…come prepared; it works. 9) Smile, focus on eye contact; watch your audience and respond to the way they are responding to you. Involve them in the dialog and encourage questions. If you know your material, you can modify it to the response you are seeing. You are a teacher…are your students learning what you want them to learn? You should be able to tell by their facial and body expressions. If they look confused, state your comments differently and ask them questions. 10) Don’t worry about being nervous in the beginning. If you stick with these steps, by the end you will be relaxed, and your audience will have forgotten the first few moments. Judge your success at the end of your presentation, not the beginning, and not the middle. Trust me on this. Everyone wants you to succeed, or you have wasted his or her time. So make sure you win the marathon, not the sprint. 11) Thank your audience for listing to you. Leave them with some final thoughts and include any follow-up that was discussed with back and forth dialog during the presentation. Finally, ask and answer any questions. Giving a successful presentation is a skill that takes practice. Being a seasoned presenter does not mean it comes naturally, it means you have honed in on these techniques to use them effectively. You can get to know your audience by becoming well rounded in all areas of business. It will enable you to speak with authority and show that you have respect for differences of opinion and the needs of your organization. At ManagingAmericans.com we encourage members to go in and out of different communities and learn about different professions; how to work together, solve problems and improve skills. Each community details expectations, challenges, success tips, training programs and useful resources. I hope you are able to test out these concepts and share your results with us. Others can benefit from your ideas and experiences. Good luck! L.J. Woods Sign up for our Keys2Communicate newsletter to continue on your path to professional success. --- - you don't know until you know, ya know? --- berkeley labs pt, off sight early, 09:30 invite $55 2 mo. Aug. 3 30*55 = 1600 x 4 = 6000 x 2 = 12k --- fresno sarah will stay with Thurs night --- well, I did it. I did Section #1 of EQ-101. Top --- 7: That's wonderful that your govt have seen the importance of EQ, Arati! Ours is coming along too, slowly. CASEL.org, armed with research data and curriculum from cutting-edge EQ educators like Six Seconds, are making real progress -- makes me very happy! As I've said many times, I believe that teaching our kids SEL is the #1 best possible thing we can for the kids, ourselves, and the future of our world... and it's not that hard or expensive to teach. They're making relatively minor shifts in the curriculum to creatively incorporate EQ-friendly examples, stories, roll-play, and concepts yet it's making NOTICABLE and significant differences in the classroom, on the playground, and in the homes. EQRocks! --- 7:25 PM w/StitchsMom on GC Oh no, PLEASE don't remove the thread! That thread is the best advertising I've ever had, or could imagine having! :santa: Great idea to genericize the post. So, instead of Delete, you'd use Edit, right? :yes: If you can edit it, how about we just change the whole thing? Let me know and I'll write up something about Eucs, and we'll just replace the wording from that post completely. can do? (actually, it's not really a biggie... people only use it maybe once a quarter... but I always cringe when I get one... know what I mean?). Half-price away! You've earned it. Thanks for your help. - Matt oh, and since you're the new classified mgr... about 2-3 years ago, I used to run contests, and give away prizes, and all kinda fun things to get people involved... but the moderator at the time told me to knock it off (not for 'chit-chat', she said). If you scan thru my earlier posts, you'll see that there was much more interaction... but very little thereafter. That, and the one post per 7 days rule, and this thread has cooled, considerably. Now I understand that it's tempting to want to limit classified postings to 'just business', but to me, that misses the point of GC... so as long as it's positive interaction, and it's clear that the item is something for sale, I think chit-chat should be encouraged, not discouraged, yay or nay? ... I logged in one day, and the entire Euc thread had been removed... hundreds of hours of careful wording, and interactions, giving the best possible customer service I could... gone, boom, bye. I cried. Please promise me you won't remove this thread. thanks, I know I'm over-reacting, but it was traumatic for me... and I'm a feeling-kinda dude... in fact, I teach emotional intelligence as the EQ Dude (or dud!)... know anything about EQ? ... and I use .... a lot! lol :grin: bye. thanks. - Matt - Hi, Matt! First of all, thank you for super secret link! I'll make sure to keep that little jewel all to myself. I've been considering making a new order soon so I just might have to do that when the next paycheck hits. As far as deleting that post, I have a slight issue. If I remove that post, it will remove any reply that was made to that specific post. To explain it easily, it would take me hours to remove just that one post as I would have to comb through each and every reply to either save or remove it. If a reply gets removed, I have to PM each member to let them know where their reply went. It would take a very long time. So, I have a two other options for you. 1. I can remove the entire thread and you can have a fresh start. I know vendors tend to panic over the thought of losing their reviews from members, but good vendors build up new reviews super fast so I don't think it's something you would really need to worry about. I'm sure if you started a new ad, people would flock to it to post just like they do now. 2. I can edit that one post and just remove all the info from it. I can replace it with something generic that says something along the lines of, "This sale has ended." Please let me know if one of those options works for you and I'll get on it. Thanks again, Matt! StitchsMom GC Administrator --- 8:25 Malia so anyway, about that video... I still need it! more than ever, in fact. let's get it done, shall we? What would it take? - Matt --- 9:16 Gloria no worries on the money... we're just rolling in the dough these days! We re-fi'd the house, right? Yay and yippee... saved over $600/mo. HOWEVER, we found out we had a $4k lean on the house that had to be paid first. ouch, but scrapped it all together, barely. phew. then found out yesterday, our property taxes are overdue, and must also be made current first... another $1500 today. We'll pull thru, but the credit cards are gonna be taking a hit next. There are three reviewers that I know of, for sure... you and both Michele/lles. We're not even paying for our gas. The main reason we're doing this class is because we said we would, and we didn't want to pull the rug out from people anymore. Good luck with your job! I'm having a background check done right now, too... started yesterday for job in SF. Still hoping/praying on replacing that job before I even start. Sac would be better... home (which is a possibility, as of today) would be WONDERFUL! Happy Birthday to you, sweetie. It's been some year so far, ey?!? luv ya... - Matt what was the downpayment for? EQ-101 PPT is attached (long and short versions) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Yo From: Gloria Watson Date: Tue, July 24, 2012 8:54 pm To: "" Yo back :) I am still reviewing but will have to give you a check or pay by visa after 7/31 is that ok? Between the cars, flat tires and downpymt I am broke. Until Tuesday. Rick is giving me some when he gets back to help out. I think they have just completed by background check at URS corp. I haven't heard back yet but don't expect to until next month. My birthday begins at midnight so you are the first to wish me HB Thank you :) Can hardly wait until Friday! See you guys then. --- Find arms that will hold you at your weakest times, eyes that will see your beauty at your ugliest, and a heart that will love you at your worst. --- 10:49 g'night --- 7.25 06:30 up, ESPN 07 PKP up, sit and chat 08:00 here. --- >> Jerry's app, by 11:30 Blue Cross resume EQ-101: pics to Elizabeth orders in (+1 new sub!) KForce paperwork write to Josh, and Paul, after "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Walsch When you decide to bring your full presence to work, you may find that the entire experience is filled with new energy and life. --- 08:30 LI-EIN Veldeman Tim commented on What leadership style do you tend to exhibit the most? What tips do you have regarding flexibility and adaptability? The harmonious style In harmonious style, the leader creates the links between people: links between the leader and others, and links between each other. The harmonious style plays a role during all phases of a change. This style allows the leader to continue dialogue with the employees. The harmonious style is a way for the leader to get a realistic picture of where the employees are in the change and whether there is resistance which he must work on. The visionary style In the visionary style, the leader develops a position where others see him as an authority by whom they want to be led. The visionary style plays a role during different phases of the change. During the first stage, the visionary leadership style direction, offers them new perspectives and opportunities, lets them see what the 'new thing' brings. During the second phase the visionary style provides that staff the larger context of change and not lose sight that they are not myopic or create suboptimal solutions. During the third phase the visionary style sees to it that need to be addressed differently. The imperative style In the imperative style, the leader centralizes power and decision-making. There’s no room for discussion. The imperative style plays a special role during the first phase of change. It shows the determination and clarity of the leader who tells employees that the change really is coming and that they will have to cooperate. The democratic style In the democratic style, the leader allows involvement and participation. He facilitates, encourages to provide input, and takes the proposals in consideration so that people feel they have influenced the decision and take responsibility for it. The role of the democratic style is to ensure that relevant stakeholders are involved, that they actively approach the solutions, and that they understand and accept the decision. The coaching style In the coaching style, the leader focuses on developing the competence and independence of others. The coaching style is important in various stages of change. During the third phase the coaching style provides that employees are supported and challenged to develop new competencies needed to implement 'the new thing'. During the fourth phase the coaching style sees to it that employees use their knowledge and skills to use their their knowledge and skills to identify and refine ‘the new thing’. The leading style In the leading style, the leader strives for quality, performance and ambitious goals. He draws attention to the 'best' achievement. The leading style plays a special role in the fourth phase of a change, by ensuring that results are achieved with the change and that employees are rewarded when they really achieve things with ‘the new thing’. - Veldeman Tim commented on What leadership style do you tend to exhibit the most? What tips do you have regarding flexibility and adaptability? Leadership styles and change The cycle of change goes through six different phases. Each stage requires something else, both from the employees as well as from the leaders driving change. Inspired by Daniel Goleman's description of 6 leadership styles and the underlying need for emotional competencies of the leader, we can add a dimension to the cycle of change. The theory of 6 leadership is based on a large empirical study involving more than 20,000 managers. The study looked at both the actions of each style and the impact of that leadership style on organizational climate, results, and the motivation and culture of the employees. The American author Daniel Goleman has enriched the theory by linking them to his concepts of emotional intelligence and emotional competencies. In 2006 the theory was expanded to include descriptions of resonances and dissonances of the styles. The theory of the 6 leadership styles describes the repertoire of the leader and perhaps, one of the best examples of what 'good' leadership could be. The leadership styles underline how important it is that leadership skills and flexibly switch between different ways of working. They emphasize that leaders must be aware of the leadership style appropriate to the position of employees in the change process. A leadership style that is used at the wrong time, creates more confusion and more, spring stand, Some leadership styles apply only in certain parts of the process. Others have their place in every phase and relevance. Ask yourself: do you know when each style is best used: Imperative? Democratic? Leading? Harmonious? Visionary? Coaching? - Veldeman Tim commented on What leadership style do you tend to exhibit the most? What tips do you have regarding flexibility and adaptability? Recently, I had the opportunity to get to know the Cycle of Change through a computer-gaming-program that visualizes the stages in change and also the levels of resistance accompanying it. This program incorporates the leading styles as defined by Daniel Goleman. I have translated them from Dutch into English. I hope there won't be too many (big and awful) mistakes in it. If so, just mention it, so I can make the "changes" where ever necessary. Managing through the cycle of change As leader of change you want to get everyone on board at once. But it is far from certain whether this is possible. Often you will experience as a leader that you have to determine whether to go "forward" or to “return” to a stakeholder at another position than the others - and that's what leaders need to consider more than the concept of potential resistance. Each step is accompanied by own psychological processes and requires other interventions of the leader. A leader must, therefore, recognise the positions of those involved in the change process and adjust his style of leadership as much as possible accordingly. Otherwise, there is a good chance that resistance will occur throughout the change trajectory. - Daryl B. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi everyone, Im Daryl Box. A Manager, trainer, coach & motivator. I'm interested in EQ because as a successful (what-ever), EQ is a vital component in the triangle of effective management/leadership EQ + IQ + PQ = effective MQ. I'm different because I 'care' about people, I know they are not robots they have feelings and opinions, they respond to external factors ie relationships etc. I get to know my team, what makes them tick and 'understand' them. I do somethin g unheard of in this day aand age of instant messaging, text, e-mail etc ..... I talk to people and make them aware, I care. If you listen to them, engage them, empower them ...... you will succeed. Like Sue Bethell's comment, I'm at a crossroads in my life where I am looking for a new & exciting challenge but don't know where that lies. I'd love to channel my EQ skills into a new role, skill set but wouldn't know where to start. Ask any of my old work colleagues and they'd tell you the same (because I'd bribe them in advance lol) ....... Daryl cares! - Brent Wickes commented on "CHANGE" is inevitable, and that makes some people feel powerless. How can we " Change the Change" by transforming our experience to be... Easy. From war to peace. Usually the instigator of war is happy in how they live but believes others will be happier thinking the way they do - or perhaps make themselves happier at the expense of others. Greed. Selfishness. They lose the war because they are wrong to start a war in the first place but the result is peace and evolving to become less savage society as time goes on. Yes, there is still war today but not as quick to start as in the past. The leaders of North Korea are happy with their lives at the expense of the population - is that correct to think that way? Burma is changing to bring happiness to the people after many decades of military rule. So it is the masses that benefit from change - it is the individuals that refuse change because they are personally happy and don't really care about if others are happy or not that is unhealthy and sometimes deadly. Change is usually a natural way of evolution to grow to become better for all life - not a single individual's desire. Change becomes violent or not peaceful because of those who deny change because it affects the personal lifestyle they are content with. With a more open mind they may realize change can be a better thing for them too. It does not take courage to NOT change - in fact I think quite the opposite, to not change is cowardly because one is afraid of change. One cannot ignore change any more than the sun rises and sets - it is constant and never ending - one cannot fight the nature of all things. - Annette H. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hello everyone, I'm Annette Herzog, a Canadian living and working in the Gulf area of The Middle East as an English as a Foreign Language Instructor for almost nine years. As an educator working overseas in this region, I have the opportunity to teach students of a cultural background whom I would not otherwise know. It's been interesting for me to see the behavioral commonalities shared by these students with those that I have taught in different parts of the world, as well as some interesting differences. In many ways, I believe that I have learned as much as I have taught. Learning is a lifelong process which doesn't happen in a vacuum. The ability to see how our interactions with one another are influenced by our environment yes, but also by what we bring to the equation, our own EI, is so important to factor in to being more effective communicators in our shared experiences. In the future, I would like to apply what I learn from EQ and EI to another career perhaps. But for now, I am here as a part of this forum to see how my participation will help it evolve. Thank you for reading this intro and let's see how we can put our thoughts and ideas together to help promote positive change. - Lisa H. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi Everyone! I'm Lisa Hilleren, and I am a Transformational Fiction Author and Authentic Living Advocate who uses EQ and Personality Types training to support women on their journeys of self-discovery. Over the past 15 years, I've trained countless corporate and non-profit leaders how to improve their business relationships; about 12 years ago, I asked myself, "Why aren't I using these skills and insights to transform my personal life?" Fast-forward to the present, and these days I use the combination of my EQ knowledge/skills and my life experience (in the form of my novels, my blogs, and my on-line support community---ReconstructingEve.com) to help other women on their journeys of self-discovery --- Micheal Lema 925-551-7851 --- 09:00 Avenash Grants review and applications grants, loans, awards, scholarships evals, store docs Caltrans & DPR • Converted and fixed over 60 databases, many requiring bug fixes/enhancements in VBA code, macros, references, DLLs, ODBC connections, and other Access components version 2, 95, 97, 2000, 2002/2003, 2007, 2010 I have Access 3 (12), 7 and 10 (14) loaded now Microsoft Access has been the default desktop database for MS Windows users since version 1.0 first shipped in 1992. UC Berkeley Labs some off site --- 09:39 switching to JKMurphy due at 11:30 --- NDers I'm sensing not the closeness we had --- "If you would be so kind... (yeah, I'm kind.)" they like to agree, they like to be right, and they like to be talked about. so, first thing a compliment works good. display interest in them, use their name. rapport --- keep our name Top of Mind! if someone's hurting, think of inviting them to ND right away! Nancy & Toms wedding Jayne and Jesse The hideaway, x miles from kirkwood amazing place! --- didn't make it to JKM's by 11:30... new goal, 3:00 with orders --- Paypal works on Chrome, sometimes not on IE, at all. only on Firefox, consistently. yikes(!) PP = 736 (ouch) -820 Mendo county property taxes -48 USPS -1 Blockbuster machine in Safeway (aka Slave Way, by Rachel Frasier, last night) - PP History Jul 24, 2012 Subscription Creation From tanis morse Sara Orsack CanceledThe subscription was cancelled and no more payments will be made. West Coast Trading CanceledThe subscription was cancelled and no more payments will be made. Brandy Fruen CanceledThe subscription was cancelled and no more payments will be made. mandymarleann king CanceledThe subscription was cancelled and no more payments will be made. Select record 5 Jul 6, 2012 Subscription Creation From Pamela Mount Jennifer Leising CanceledThe subscription was cancelled and no more payments will be made. ciera kozak Mickey Lin Details Subscription Creation From Mickey Lin 1.1.12 - 7.26.12 Creations: 20 Cancellations: 20 Refunds: 2, Jan. 13 and May 14 Orders since June 10: 160(!) Heather Reese downloaded all transactions back to 12/1/2011 in CSVs, then XLS \MyDocs\Eucs\Reporting --- >> I should post in all groups, at least 2x/wk and ND, more Bring up price early in your prospecting call or presentation. If you bring it up before your prospect does, it will not be perceived as much of a negative. Even better, bring price up as a benefit. The gift of disappointment is to bring us into reality so we don't get stuck in the realm of how things might have been. --- ...11:57... It's not in my timing, right? I'm not in charge of outcomes, or timing... that's up to the man upstairs... correct? It's not in my timing, right? I'm not in charge of outcomes, or timing... that's up to the man upstairs... correct? In the last 6 months, I have: - made a strong bid to become Exec. Dir. of the Film Festival... and lost. - started a new website, facebook page, twitter acct and youtube channel -- EQRocks! And a membership site. Need help with setup. - lost my big computer contract -- my fault. - lost another big computer contract -- not my fault (I don't think). - got accepted to 3 gigs on the radio - wrote and filmed a half-hour tv show, EQ-101 - got, and finished, a side job, a project tracking db for a local CPA - enrolled and marketed 3 NDs (not well) - started a new ND brochure (unfinished) - became 1 of 3 moderators for the largest EQ group (42k) on LinkedIn, the Emotional Intelligence Network, and I'm the 2nd most prolific authors there. - got hired by a big health care provider in downtown SF - worked on my plan to change the world with EQ - refinanced our first mortgage (actually, Paula did this!) - bought a new motorhome - won 1st place in doubles at a racquetball tourney - camped, went skiing, played disc golf, rode motorcycles (!!), went in the ocean - helped raise one of the biggest (and sweetest) dogs in town - partnered with 6 Seconds and WholeLife expos on the Million Signature Campaign Emotional Literacy project (www.Feel.org) --- 7.26 HB2WP! 00:00 snooze a bit 02:? to house to sign KForce papers, but uncomfortable, trying to be quiet so watched end of Ghostbusters (same bldg as IMS!)... 03:48 LI-EIN Andre G. commented on Empathy: Can you develop it through coaching? Hi Julia, I coach a number of business owners and leaders around leadership in medium size businesses and empathy is the most common area most of them score the lowest in. Through coaching a number of these leaders, I have realised that the key place to start is to get their interpretation of what Empathy is. Surprisingly, my evidence shows that a great deal of leaders still confuse empathy and sympathy and believe that empathy is "being soft". Once I take them through the true meaning of empathy, I break empathy down into key components; Listening, Curiousity and Building an Emotional Connection and talk about all of these individually. I ask them to give me real life experiences on each of them that they have experienced and then try and get them to link the outcome they received back to the specific component so they start to get understanding. I do this a number of times and with many the penny does drop and they start improving, but as many have said before, the desire to change must be present first. - Andre G. commented on Quantifying EQ in Sales Emotional Intelligence in sales is probably one of the key areas I focus on when conducting sales training. You can teach people hundreds of techniques and strategies on how to structure a meeting, how to negotiate, ask great questions and when and how to close for the sale, but without an emotional connection to the other person, all those strategies tend to be a lot less effective if they are in fact, effective at all. It has been proven over and over that the decision to buy any product or service is 80% emotive and 20% logic, yet so many sales trainers still focus primarily on the logic side when they train and ignore the 80% emotive side. Being able to uncover the concerns, fears or uncover key areas on which the buyer is going to make their decision to buy is critical and almost totally dependant on the rapport the salesperson builds with the buyer. Crucial to building this rapport are the abilities to empathise, namely, listen well and truly understand what the buyer is saying and not the salesperson's interpretation of it, being curious and digging deeper into challenges through questioning, but without causing offence and then on top of that, building a true emotional connection. Once a salesperson has mastered this, then all the strategies and techniques can be added on top. I could write forever on this topic, but will leave it there for now. “When a person lowers their voice, they want something. When they raise it, it is a sign they didn’t get it.” The foundation of all motivation is ………… HOPE The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime. - Babe Ruth "Humans, for the most part, don't have a clue... they don't want one or need one. They're happy. They think they have a 'good bead on things.'" - K, Men in Black --- coder for MSC Tech Support - Marshall Smith laniersmith@me.com --- >> write to Steve G and Alex re: Matheson --- 07:23 Hi Josh, "What is EQ" was searched 2.74M times on Google last month! People want to know what we know. As I mentioned, I believe we have a wonderful opportunity to add Individuals to the mix of 6 seconds' target markets! We could build out 6seconds.org (or WholeLife.com, or feel.org, or EQ.org), as I believe there is much money to be made in the next few years, as EQ gains momentum and grows faster and faster! Any interest in heading in this direction? What are the next steps for 6sec, as you see it? Thanks. - Matt --- 08:22 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Wendy!!!! sooo glad we've been talking more lately, as I so enjoy you! Take care and enjoy your special day. Love always, - da bro! --- 10:33, signed and faxed IMS/KForce paperwork back. >> get I-9 notarized and fax --- (111 Sutter looks just like Ghostbusters' haunted bldg!) --- Rosemary's coming to class. --- pics of horrible wildfire in Colorado Springs, from Dad http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2012/06/27/colorado-wildfires-waldo-canyon-fire-colorado-springs/5732/#more-5732 --- Sheeva background cleared I'm hired! --- trying like a madman to create a job OTHER than this one... but it's not happenin'. so I officially give up.... not. still persue other oppty's as I told Paula today, it's tacky to quit after a week or a month... but I'm willing to, to make it dif. so, when I went to work at Cisco, I vowed to make the time useful by bringing EQ to Cisco. yeah right. playin' Joss Stone, 5x --- It's not in my timing, right? I'm not in charge of outcomes, or timing... that's up to the man upstairs... correct? In the last 6 months, I have: - started a new website, facebook page, twitter acct and youtube channel -- EQRocks! And a membership site. (need help with setup) - made a strong bid to become Exec. Dir. of the Film Festival... and lost. - lost my big computer contract -- my fault. - lost another big computer contract -- not my fault (I don't think). - recorded 3 live internet radio interviews - wrote and filmed a half-hour tv show, EQ-101 - sold, and finished, a side job, a project tracking db for a local CPA - enrolled and marketed 3 NDs (not well) - started a new ND brochure (unfinished) - became 1 of 3 moderators for the largest EQ group (42k) on LinkedIn, the Emotional Intelligence Network, and I'm the 2nd most prolific author there. - been hired by a big health care provider in downtown SF - worked on my plan to change the world with EQ - refinanced our first mortgage (actually, Paula did this!) - got a new motorhome - won 1st place in doubles at a racquetball tourney - camped, went skiing, played disc golf, rode motorcycles (!!), went in the ocean - helped raise one of the biggest (and sweetest) dogs in town - partnered with 6 Seconds and WholeLife expos on the Million Signature Campaign Emotional Literacy project (www.Feel.org) - shipped over 300 fresh Eucalyptus orders - ... and slept very little! --- 12:32 FB-NDG Ok, well, here goes... my background check was successful, so I start my new job in SF on Tuesday (right after class). http://www.imshealth.com. I "should" be happy about it, but I am very, very sad, feeling like I "failed" yet again, to make a living with EQ. Some day, I'll make it happen. I won't give up... not ever! http://www.imshealth.com/portal/site/ims --- PP = 755 PP ND = $601.89 -694 for Mendo county taxes +399, Rosemary Nachtigall (yay, gas!) --- 2: made a few minor mods to MAC with Marja, by phone --- Matt, Here is how the situation would run itself out in real life, if I can use “life” in discussing death: A person dies on April 10th of this year. The person isn’t a client and I didn’t even see the obit in the Advocate. On July 25th his family has an appointment with me and we discuss the deceased person and his estate. If we decide that an estate return is going to be due then I need to figure out when the 706 will be due. If the date of death was 04/10/12 then the estate return is going to be due January 10, 2013 or nine months from the date of death. In this situation, the job was opened July 25th and the estate return (Form 706) is due January 10, 2013. This would be a new client as well as a new job. When we set up the client in BillQuick we would use “12” as the client’s year end because the client WAS an individual and probably has a tax filing requirement for 2012. We usually set up the estate as a client as well since the estate is a different client than the individual. The year-end for the estate would probably be “12” as well. The estate would probably have a fiduciary return (Form 1041) obligation and while they can play around a little with the fiscal year-end date, we can put in December to begin and if it changes due to elections then we can change it later. I hope that this isn’t to convoluted. Jerry --- 4:30 EQ-101 sent e to Elizabeth with attachments The girls are here (Bri and AK) so we're out... Hi Elizabeth, Thanks again for filming EQ-101. You and 'the boys' were proficient and professional, and I'm excited to see what comes of it! Attached are: the powerpoint I used during the session The left-brain/right-brain graphic that I gave you a print out of There are more stills and videos here (including the 3 min. YouTube video of Josh Freedman that I refer to during the filming): Go to: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/images ID: sliloh@eqrocks.com / Password: 2gethelp Please let me know if you need anything else. Good luck with the editing! - Matt --- 8:08 Hi Melinda, Please briefly recap what your plans are for EQRocks.com in the two weeks. Just bullet points are fine, but I need to present our plans to my investor. Can you do a nice template that I can use for PPT graphics for my next video?!? I'd like to make nicer graphics for the upcoming shows, similar but prettier than those used on this one ... http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101 We discussed that I have gobs of still pics that you can use... they are here: Go to: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/images ID: sliloh@eqrocks.com / Password: 2gethelp Thanks! - Matt --- IMS passed muster. start Tuesday, 7/31 (NOT!) --- off to Fresno with Bri, without dogs --- 7.29 nobody I've ever seen has had more dif. jobs than I have. I guess that's a good thing and a bad thing. but mostly, it is how it is, and it was how it was. 00:41 in MH jkm, crash, lost a few hours work. tried to recreate pseudocode paula was running the air/generator, so I had laptop plugged in but she went to bed hours ago (she's looking pretty happy, actually, I'm the one who's not being close) I was crying with Gloria. looks bad to other girls... she just came back first. so paula split. just noticed. whatever. moved from table to couch, so plug would reach cigarette lighter humming and hot, but working 6% --> 17%, so far. when reach 25%, pull it for a bit to give it a break. >> check craigslist for commuter room, with parking? hotel, with parking I'm still wimpy with my boundaries and willingnesses, with p --- 1 student, Rosemary, doing great! 1st one thru in the class, in fact. sweet lady, got pissed. now what? we're sooo lax now. no meetings, no CIS reading no time constraints (from me, but others contributed) it's so lax now that some people haven't gotten our best. Anthony, Bruce, Kim, Heather did, so did Matt but they gotta keep working with the tools to make them real. we must have an environment to learn and grow in I'm wimpy with people in class, too. feelings, but not as deep as they could go. not the huge breakthroughs... yes, the belief systems are important. but the reality is that we came here to cry, and scream, and release, and heal, and feel better... now. Tara? I can foresee it, but I have yet to make it happen. I will look back and it will be clar. but it ain't clear now. I am in my own way but then, it's not ready until it's ready, right? I need to finish the D-R, pronto. if I'm in SF at nights, I gotta do it. I believe the office is only 10-15 blocks from the ferry building. I think. I'm leaning toward taking the motorhome to Larkspur. the ferry's pretty cool! where else could I go, that is NOT hot... eureka... or SF... that's it. office is only 6 blocks from ferry bldg! - on phone: Commuter room Joan in Petaluma 707-763-2983 LM $500, house, 5 min. from 101 ? does anyone come from the north? how do you get to IMS? - $390 East Bay, shared room 580 & 880 - dorm setting shared, parking in bart, 1 blk, $20.mo San Leandro MarinRVpark.com $50/night summer wifi, but <2 hrs 415-461-5199 ferry RV 800 + 16*18 = 250 + 4x100 gas 400 = 1500! bus is cheaper! ferry is $9/trip, or $18/day Larkspurrvpark.com $725/mo. + e 415-897-1271 xAyman, rent a room in mill Valley? golden gate 40/day greenbrae dorian >> turn off email notifications from NDW or get a spam filter! 02:22 text to Dorian wrote to Ayman (and UK and Tom O) Bella's in heat not sure how this is gonna get handled. $53 x 40 = 2300/wk 8 mo - W2 taxes = 6, maybe - travel and living, 4500, ouch replace this job, asap gas in MH 350 miles / 10 = 35 gal, x 3.50 = 125 / trip/wk x 4 = 500 gas in car 350 miles / 20 = 17 gal x 3.50 = 60 x 4 = 240 cheapest stay at home, free or low parking bus in wow. of anywhere in the bay area, or Sac, SF's the #1 most expensive place to work! san jose was the furthest, and not nearly as expensive. actually, Everett, WA was the furthest, but they paid for everything! that was much fun(!) I'm enjoying just sitting and thinking more than I used to. like my thoughts, and respect 'em more. and they're grounded nd focussed, and clear. fast, but kinda skippy... but there's lots to think about. go to bed... not that tired --- 02:44 g'night --- 7.30 Heck yeah... it was be awesome if you guys could come celebrate Rachel's birthday with her! She's been totally looking forward to going to a bar and ordering a drink!! --- PP DU = 251 -350 gas to Fresno and back (ouch!) PP = 891 --- Susie Friar, Notary next to Farmer's 153 N Main 964-4492 --- 2:36 Monica Lynch's mom called Patrice. Monica died about 10 years ago she teaches, and uses statement certified in HeartMath Life Discovery / Silva Mind Control 209-522-1618 transformative journey blog Patricia Bryte closure on guilt and grief Monday, Tues, Wed, --- 7.31 3:10 to SF for IMS 07:50 parked MH3 on Sir Frances Drake Dr., across from Ferry terminal in Larkspur good news: nice trip. sun up, made good time, good work done all day bad news: I'm not starting today! talked to Sheeva, no, go home. talked to Josh Wright, we'll see nappage - yay(!) --- 09:39 on laptop, work/nap/work/nap charge laptop periodically using MH cigarette lighter finish up JKM, CPA --- Val, here's my plan with EQ. 1. Get EQRocks up and running as a viable membership site. requires design (me and Melinda), build (Melinda), and content (me and VA) 2. Market ND. Expand it into a 30-days, 100-days, 1-year certificate Program design, build, offer PKP, too 3. Get funded, finish D-R app Develop programs and have clear path from here to desired outcome spiritually, we're supposed to "not be invested in the outcome" however, business-wise, we are oft-times ONLY invested in the outcome! how to balance those. metrics: # views, experiences, touches, seen by... Business Plan with these parameters I can do this... I could have, with Paul's help. If I coulda stopped, back then. he actually was just with their family, and they have $ $$: Paul, Dorian, Ayman, Christina, Jay, D-R I'll get it... just don't know when, or see my way clear to 'how'! Worldwide EQ Network EQRocks - Informational site Educational Institution SEL in primary and Schools Individuals and Families EQ-101 (free), 100's fee EQ-201 (free), 200's fee 301 401 Leadership and Team-building Business: Sales, Customer Service and Success Special Interest: Prisons, Veterans, DV/SA, Faith-based Emotional Support Community (back-end?) Facebook login Public and private forums (when in public, show private, too, so they'll know what else is available) Trained Moderators EQ Resources >> post this in my forum of LI-EIN ------------- mcp ------------ “You are not the drop in the ocean, but the ocean in the drop.” - Deepak Chopra - 7 Steps to Handle Toxic Emotions: a 3-min. video by Deepak Chopra 1. Take Responsibility for your emotions! 2. Witness them: without judgment by feeling them in your body 3. Label them: identify them, give them a word 4. Express them: Describe them in the first person, second person, third person 5. Share them: with someone you love and trust 6. Release them: usually thru ritual, write and burn, flush(!), to church and offer it up, etc. 7. Celebrate them: movie, champagne, yoga, etc. 7 Steps to Handle Toxic Emotions: by Deepak Chopra 1. Take Responsibility 2. Witness 3. Label 4. Express 5. Share 6. Release 7. Celebrate 7 Steps to Processing Negative Feelings: by Matt Perelstein mcp 1. Know 2. Identify 3. Accept 4. Express 5. Release 6. Replace 7. Rejoice --- 2:36 Well, it seems that IMS does NOT want me to be a contractor, first they want me to be a direct hire, straight away. soooo, they are doing their own background check and it probably won't be this week, or next, to start. they have no office/cube for me. so, I'm going home. will stop by Ukiah RHC and see if anyone's playing! and CostCo, too, for a few things. Got most of JKM done, tho. drive on... RHC Ukiah ---- 8.1 (Wed) 00:05, arrive home Bri's up, watched "Legally Blonde" with her and Jessica ~2 crash 8ish up, Pkp up, coffee. --- some of the keys on my keyboard aren't working... f (pasted in), right-arrow, and 2 on the keypad. low battery? --- Jeanne Hayes (can't think of any better training you could provide for him and his future. He doesn't have to 'need it', he could also 'deserve it') $399... down to $299. And you could come assist. heck, if the talk with dad goes well, maybe Hunter could invite dad come with. They would be super-close, probably for the rest of their lives! --------------- mcp ----------------- The most powerful statement I've heard people use to get a loved-one to ND is, "Please come with me. It's important." --- 11:17 Hi Elizabeth, I think I'd like each show to consistently be 30-min long. Let me review my PPT and the video and decide what to put in and what to chop. I'll get back to you tomorrow morning, ok? When can we schedule another taping? After learning on our first run, others should go nicely. Thanks. - Matt Ok, I hear your changes and I appreciate you putting your thought and wisdom into making this a cool show! Tomorrow at 2 is just dandy! See you then. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EQ101 From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Wed, August 01, 2012 11:38 am To: So Matt, You need to come in to review the video I think - and for that you need an appointment so there is a staff person to set up equipment for you to view and it doesn't interfere with other production. Can't be today- could potentially be tomorrow (thursday) in afternoon between 2-3 (we have a studio shoot later so have to be done by 3ish). Friday would be difficult as we have CSA day, but maybe we won't be busy and would have time to view your show. I actually don't like the desk TV arrangement- need a smaller table I think- We'll go over when you come. I also really think the slides should be done differently- and will show you what I mean- it will be more work for you but. . . Elizabeth --- PP = 761 +3 subs (incl. 1 5L) --- updated NDW page $299 by Aug. 31 $199 Reviewers http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup --- 12:47 Hey Patrick, THANKS very much for paying for the room this past weekend! As I hope you know, I'd even more rather have you and Terri there at class with us, but the gesture was super-nice, and perfect timing. I've been outta work for two months now, but starting a new job next week or a big medical billing firm in San francisco. Anyway, I hope you guys are well, and THANKS again! Your friends, Matt -n- Paula --- 1:15-4:08 JKM. Got most done, but not all. Safeway home Bri shovelled rocks, unload MH3 (after non-trip) pkp home CostCo chicken and potato salad for dinner Olympics opening ceremony pause Robin called, getting photobooth tomorrow, first gig, next day... exciting! 10:22 here PP = 824 +3 order +1 sub --- Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us. - Wilma Rudolph, gold medalist in athletics in 1960 and bronze medalist in 1956 --- LI-EIN Ray Mathis • Elke, I taught health education for 33 years. Has Emotional Intelligence helped you stay healthy? I know it helps me stay healthy So much of what is "wrong" with people is often defined by them generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion. For example, so many have anger problems, anxiety disorders, depression, low self-esteem (shame about the past and present, and anxiety about the future) or too much stress (which is usually anxiety). Or, it's caused by them generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion, and what they do because of it, or to deal with it. For example, violence, abuse, smoke, drink, use drugs, overeat, unprotected sex and other unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors, including attempting suicide. Such behaviors in turn give rise to "problems" like addiction, eating disorders, obesity, overdoses, etc, and social "problems" like divorce, and health problems like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, stroke, etc. That's why I always believed it was so important to teach young people, and adults, to have truly effective emotional management, given that a lack of it contributes directly or indirectly to so much that goes wrong in the lives of young people, in and outside the classroom, now and later in their lives, including how physically healthy they end up being. Unfortunately, traditional health education does units on various topics or behaviors of concern, merely and largely providing information and advice. State and national standards are largely written in ways that encourage that type of approach, and do very little to encouraging teachers to address the underlying causes of so much that goes wrong. Even the new social and emotional learning standards many states have recently enacted don't go far enough. What I did with my students, teaching them ten "tools" as part of what I called "The ABC System of Cognitive, Emotional and Behavioral Self-management and Self-improvement", and now call "A Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Life" was actually frowned upon by my administration because they didn't get it. And when I present at state and national conferences in my field of health education, I find most people still stuck in the mode of trying to figure out better ways to dispense more information and advice, like webinars. Behavior can make or break someone health, all aspects of it. Behavior starts and continues because it serves a purpose. It's always goal-orientated. And the thing that gives so much purpose to so much unhealthy, self-defeating behavior is that people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion. One of the major "mistaken" goals of unhealthy, self-defeating behavior is to get relief from such emotion. There is much we could and should do to help them with that, but unfortunately are not. And sadly, it need not cost much to start doing so, and it would be a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure for so much that now goes wrong in and outside classrooms, now and later in the lives of young people. --- TEDxFiDiWomen - Lissa Rankin - The Shocking Truth About Your Health http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tu9nJmr4Xs if taking care of the body isn't the most important part of health, what is? it's caring for the mind caring for the heart caring for the soul taping into what I call your Inner Pilot Light that inner part of you, that essence, that deep, true part of you. that spiritual divine spark that always knows what's right for you. we're born with it. it goes with us when we die. and it always knows the truth about us and our body. --- Turning fear into fuel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFRwhJEOos #1: Positive Speaking #4: Death --- Akhil Ramesh @akhilrameshv The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. --- Melinda Janicki http://ondemandvirtualservices.com/about/ - can't add new post in EQRocks! --- When a prospect commits with a "yes" to your questions, get her to commit further by asking why she said yes. That way her commitment becomes stronger. - Hilton Johnson "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran “Over 80 percent of our life is determined not by events, but our reaction to them.” --- 8.2 00:02 new day. accomplish something wonderful? --- f words feeling focus fear fantastic far-out family friends f*&k future fearless familiar fabulous forlorn forgiveness forgive forget frankly --- Daphne Koller: What we're learning from online education http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6FvJ6jMGHU 3rd generation PHD College Grads 22% not working 22% working in jobs that do not require a college degree 55% working in jobs that do require a college degree (only half!) "Big breakthroughts happen when what is suddenly possible meets what is desperately necessary." - Thomas Friedman, NY Times, May 15, 2012 3 Stanford classes that had an enrollment of 100k or more! made Coursera, give best classes from best schools, for free 43 courses from 4 universities 640k students, 190 countries 1.5M enrollments lecture, 50% retention mastery (have to demonstrate competence before proceeding), 98%! ------------- mcp ----------- "College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either." - Mark Twain Igniting Minds, using Active learning improves 3 areas over Lecture-based learning Attendance (58% vs. 81%) Engagement (50% vs. 85%) Learning(41% vs. 74%) "Improved Learning in a Large-Enrollment Physics Class" Science (2011) --- 00:28 Hi Wanda, Yes, I can sell larger quantities at wholesale prices! What did you have in mind? Note: please remember that the leaves have a 'shelf-life', so my wholesale customers usually opt for drop-shipping, esp. the leaves, rather than inventory a large quantity. I usually sell wholesale at 1/2 of the retail pricing, but please give me an idea of the order you wish to place, and I'll give you a more specific quote. Thanks! I look forward to doing business with you! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Wholesale From: sugargliderhq@q.com Date: Wed, August 01, 2012 8:53 pm To: eucs@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, I was wondering if you sale larger quanities at wholesale prices? If so how much would I have to order and what would be the prices? Thank You for your time, Wanda Sugar Glider HQ --- 00:29 Keyboard suddenly started working again... all keys... at once. healed itself. fffff's... right-arrow... and 0 on keypad. bizarre, but yay(!) --- Top 10 Things Your Combat Vet Wants You To Know July 21, 2012, in Deployment by Guest Bloggers 350 I’m a psychiatrist. Every day I listen to my combat veterans as they struggle to return to the “normal” world after having a deeply life-changing experience. I do everything I can to help them. Sometimes that can involve medications, but listening is key. Sometimes a combat veteran tells me things that they wish their families knew. They have asked me to write something for their families, from my unique position as soldier, wife, and physician. These are generalizations; not all veterans have these reactions, but they are the concerns most commonly shared with me. (Author’s note: obviously warriors can be female — like me — and family can be male, but for clarity’s sake I will write assuming a male soldier and female family.) 1. He is addicted to war, although he loves you. War is horrible, but there is nothing like a life-and-death fight to make you feel truly alive. The adrenaline rush is tremendous, and can never be replaced. Succeeding in combat defines a warrior, places him in a brotherhood where he is always welcome and understood. The civilian world has its adrenaline junkies as well; just ask any retired firefighter, police officer, or emergency room staff if they miss it. 2. Living for you is harder. It would be easy for him to die for you because he loves you. Living for you, which is what you actually want, is harder for him. It is even harder for him if you are smart and do not need him to rescue you, since rescuing is something he does really well. 3. “The training kicks in” means something very different to him. It is direct battle doctrine that when ambushed by a superior force, the correct response is “Apply maximum firepower and break contact.” Unfortunately, your tears are unbearable to him; they create explosive emotions in him that are difficult for him to control. Unfortunately, warriors frequently respond to strong waves of guilt by applying more “maximum firepower” on friends, family, or unfortunate strangers. 4. He is afraid to get attached to anyone because he has learned that the people you love get killed, and he cannot face that pain again. He may make an exception for his children (because they cannot divorce him), but that will be instinctual and he will probably not be able to explain his actions. 5. He knows the military exists for a reason. The sad fact is that a military exists ultimately to kill people and break things. This was true of our beloved “Greatest Generation” warriors of WWII, and it remains true to this day. Technically, your warrior may well be a killer, as are his friends. He may have a hard time seeing that this does not make him a murderer. He is a sheepdog, not a wolf. The emotional side of killing in combat is complex. He may not know how to feel about what he’s seen or done, and he may not expect his feelings to change over time. Warriors can experiences moments of profound guilt, shame, and self-hatred. He may have experienced a momentary elation at “scoring one for the good guys,” then been horrified that he celebrated killing a human being. He may view himself as a monster for having those emotions, or for having gotten used to killing because it happened often. One of my Marines recommended On Killingby Dave Grossman, and I would pass that recommendation on. 6. He’s had to cultivate explosive anger in order to survive in combat. He may have grown up with explosive anger (violent alcoholic father?) as well. 7. He may have been only nineteen when he first had to make a life and death decision for someone else. What kind of skills does a nineteen-year-old have to deal with that kind of responsibility? 8. He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand. On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent. 9. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you, that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to. Imagine your reaction if someone pointed a weapon at your child. Would it change your reaction if a child pointed a weapon at your child? 10. When you don’t understand, he needs you to give him the benefit of the doubt. He needs you also to realize that his issues really aren’t about you, although you may step in them sometimes. Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/07/combat-vetera-wants-you-to-know.html#ixzz22N9vMJ3K SpouseBUZZ.com --- 8 Ways to Finally “Get Over It” and Get On with Your Life! http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/8-ways-to-get-over-it/ Tips to move forward from yesterday’s pull, to finally once and for all, “get over it.” 1. Realize that some things you never really “get over” but you still can “get through.” There are some things that are so life altering that we never can truly leave them behind us. Extreme and heart breaking loss such as the death of a child, severe trauma, facing a fatal disease, life-altering accidents in which you or a loved one are permanently disabled or disfigured, are just a few examples. The more tragic the impairment or loss, the more we are challenged to rise above it. The more we are pressed to make good of something so bad, the more we need to to seek support and help to carry on. Those that are determined to open their hearts to try again, to love again, to trust again, will get through the trauma much better than those that shut down and spiral into isolation and bitterness. We might not have the ability to change the past, but we can choose how we deal with it so we can at least get on with life in a way that is albeit quite different from before, but a life that still offers hope and joy. 2. Things that you can’t “get over” are great warnings! Imagine the gas light on your car. The gas light signals that we are running low on gas so as to prevent us from running out of gas and alerting us that action needs to be taken, i.e. to get to a gas station. Likewise, the things in our lives that we can not “get over” are telling us something that we still have things to learn – and it is up to us to discover what! 3. Over 80 percent of our life is determined not by events, but our reaction to them. Instead of focusing on what can not be changed, focus on what can be changed. In most cases, events or other people do not cause us to feel a certain way. WE DO! Taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, getting out of a victim mentality, will empower you to make stepping stones out of your past regrets, setbacks and disappointments instead of wearing them as millstones around your neck. 4. Stick to the facts, not interpretations Often we can not “get over” something because of stories we tell ourselves, which are not based on facts. For example, some people who lose a job will be disappointed, but still have the confidence to move on realizing that there might be better opportunities. In contrast, others would not be able to “get over” the trauma of rejection and label themselves as losers and failures. People in crisis often create stories about themselves and personalize life’s cruel twist as somehow reflecting their self worth, resulting from old ingrained judgmental thought habits. The negative “self-talk” becomes so ingrained that often we do not realize that we have the power to change it! 5. Give yourself permission to grieve what “could have been” In some instances, we can’t be expected to “get over” something too soon if we have not gone through the process of grieving. Grieving is not just a process we go through in dealing with the death or loss of a loved one. There are less visible and concrete losses, such as a realization that you might not have the life you thought you would, that your enthusiasm of Act 1 on your life gave way to a very disappointing Act 2 or 3. Anywhere from large scale grief to private heartache, the process of grieving is vital to the healing process. At times we need to go through stages of anger and bitterness in order to be able to move to the stage of acceptance. 6. Seek support – as long as it the healthy type! People grow best through support and relationships. Those who retreat inward and shut people off so as not to be hurt again will keep on re-traumatizing themselves. Those who become better from a setback rather than become bitter will find new avenues to seek support to soothe their sense of loss. Healthy and supportive relationships can help heal wounds. Even if others can not fix your trauma, they can help you cry. Also – keep in mind that even if you are reeling from a broken heart, at least when it is broken, it becomes open! 7. Know that there are no“do-overs” but there are “second chances.” Remind yourself that it’s never too late to “start over.” As the famous quote by George Elliot reads, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” If you learn lessons from what you can not “get over,” and make healthy decisions now based on what you learned, you will truly give yourself new life to an old issue. Changing behaviors to cope with or prevent unfortunate things from happening again will empower you. Being proactive instead of reactive, while making changes based on your life lessons, can heal past hurts. Reworking yesterday never really works! 8. Forgive for goodness sake! Whether you need to forgive yourself, others or even God or life itself, forgiveness will release you from the chains of bitterness. The more you can forgive, the more you can accept life as it comes. Forgiveness opens your heart to gratitude, focusing on what is good in your life rather than what is sorely missed. Imagine you are looking at a bagel. Do you focus on the hole or on the whole? Give yourself a gift by trading bitterness and powerlessness to acceptance and gratitude. If you follow these 8 tips to “get over it” you will be in great shape to get on with your life! --- 12 Ways to Forgive Your Parents for Doing Such a Crummy Job of Raising You http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/12-ways-to-forgive-your-parents/ “Children begin by loving their parents; after a time, they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.” ~ Oscar Wilde Childhood Pain Have you been holding onto childhood pain? Do you harbor deep-seeded resentment for the way your parents raised you? Do you blame them for the circumstances of your life today? Obviously, not everyone has been blessed with a happy home – with patient, loving, attentive parents. If you are one of the oh-so-many who harbor pent-up feelings toward mom or dad and those pent-up feelings affect you today, you are not alone. Nor are you condemned to a life plagued by the energy-sapping, happiness-stunting emotions of deep-seeded anger and resentment. It’s time to let go and move on! And not because your parents necessarily deserve it – they may not! At all. But YOU do! You deserve to be free of such emotional poison. It’s time to let it go. 12 Ways to Let Go and Move on Following, are specific steps you can take to unpack the baggage of blame and anger and resentment and, perhaps, begin to establish a new kind of relationship with your parents, or at least be able to let the past be buried in the past so that you can begin moving forward untethered to the pull of yesterday. 1. Redefine Your Relationship Allow people to evolve and change. And remind yourself that parents are people too. Some parents were horrible at parenting but not so bad as friends to their adult children. So be it. Let that be the redefinition of your relationship. Try not to judge the current reality against the context of the past. Instead, try to accept things as they are today. 2. Be Grateful for the Blueprint of what NOT to do Raising Your Kids We don’t come with owner’s manuals. And yet, we are far more complex than any piece of furniture or computer program we have ever had to put together or install. We are also all-too-familiar with the problems that can arise with do-it-yourself projects. Pieces don’t fit. Installations fail. It’s at those moments we are glad there are trouble-shooting instructions or FAQ pages provided. Well, guess what! Your parents’ mistakes are now effectively your trouble-shooting guide and FAQ page. “What happens if I scream and shout at my kids?” you might want to know. “Oh yeah, my parents did that to me. I know exactly what happens!” 3. Forgive Them for Being the Only Thing They Knew how to Be Impatient, unkind and punitive parents aren’t impatient, unkind and punitive simply because you were unworthy of their patience, kindness or compassion. They were that way because they are impatient, unkind and punitive people. In other words, how you were treated is all about them, not you. So, here’s the point I’m trying to make: All our parenting is done out of the context of who we are and what we know. Each one of us is limited in giving love by the limits to our capacity to love. Your parents were likewise limited. That understanding can lead to compassion which can lead to forgiveness. 4. Recognize They are likely Products of Their own Parents’ Mistakes and Flaws We reap what we sow. And we also “reap” the traits that our parents “sowed” as they raised us. We are products of both parental successes and mistakes. And while we can always learn and grow, most people seem to live on automatic pilot. So, most of us are something within a stones throw of our parents’ behaviors, attitudes and habits. Likewise, mom and dad are products of their parent’s parenting too. Forgive them of that. 5. Write it Down Sometimes we bury our feelings where they fester and decay, and then begin to infect other parts of the psyche as well. Sometimes, like the body expelling poisons, the soul also needs to vomit emotional toxins. Doing this on paper helps sort out feelings and make sense of things. There can be a cleansing quality to putting pain to paper too. Be as explicit and detailed as you can. Dump everything onto the page. It may take several days to get it all out. That’s okay; take the time. When you’re done, read it as a solemn recognition of the past. Then light the thing on fire and burn it. Let its ashes float away on the wind or up the vent. As the smoke lifts, feel the emotional baggage float away with it. Feel it rise with the ashes and smoke and disappear and be gone. And then be done with it. I would suggest this be a one-time expulsion of pent-up emotional poison. Doing this repeatedly can have the unhappy effect of amplifying, rather than muting, the past’s continuing influence as you keep swimming in that polluted pool. 6. Learn from Parental Strengths and Weaknesses Your parents were not just your parents. They, like all of us, are complex beings with a mixed bag of character strengths and flaws. Perhaps you ended up on the receiving end of their flaws. But they are not likely without redeeming qualities as well. See that in them. And commit to learning from both their strengths and weaknesses. And be grateful for the life-lessons learned. 7. Read the Book, A Child Called It, then be Grateful If you’ve read this autobiographical work by Dave Pelzer, you likely know your parents may not have been all that bad after all. Be thankful they at least had something going for them. This idea is something reminiscent of the principle so powerfully reflected in the Persian proverb: “I wept because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” So too, we weep for having flawed parents until we read books like A Child Called It and see that at least ours had some “feet.” 8. Let the Work You do in Your Own Home be the Salve that Heals the Wounds in Your Heart If you grew up without love, smother your children with it. If you grew up with family secrets, don’t have any. If you grew up with harsh criticism and ridicule and impatience, then be sure to compliment, love, and exercise patience with your children. Let the example of decency and compassion you share with them be the focus of your emotional healing. But be sure not to commit the sin of overcompensation. Your role here is to love, not spoil. In a sense, you will be parenting yourself with the love and compassion you wish your parents had shown you as you shower it on your own kids, in some way, making amends for what your parents failed to provide. In other words, parent yourself vicariously through parenting your own children. Extend to them what your parents failed to extend to you and allow the love flowing from you to your children to heal the wounds from the lack of love flowing to you as a child. 9. Take Responsibility for Your Life This can be a hard pill to swallow. Still, it’s important to stop blaming your parents for current problems. Did they lay the foundation for the problem? Perhaps. But it’s yours now. That’s the inescapable bottom line of it. You make the decision every day to hold on or let go. That’s your decision only. Accept that as fact. Own it completely and release your parents from the responsibility you’ve pinned to their shoulders for too long. Don’t get me wrong, here. I am not suggesting your past is your fault. I’m saying that your present is the result of choices you have made, as you have allowed your past to influence them. This step is admittedly difficult, but it is empowering and liberating once it’s fully accepted and internalized. I am who I choose to be. I feel what I choose to feel by choosing what thoughts I choose to harbor and how I choose to think about things. I choose to learn ways to change my thinking and interpretations of life or I choose not to. These are all my choices. And they are yours too. Final word on this point: Your parents may be responsible for creating the emotional context. You are responsible for keeping that context alive. So stop feeding it and let it wither on the vine. 10. Talk to Them Not out of rage or to guilt or shame them. Just talk. Be dispassionate. Simply ask them what in the world happened and why. Then listen. Let’s be clear, though, it may make things worse. But then again, it may lead to some kind of resolution. Of course, you know your family dynamics; I don’t. So use good judgment as to whether this would be a viable step, but consider it. Depending on circumstances, a neutral location such as a restaurant might be a preferable place for “the talk.” But try to listen and question without judgment. Remember, you’re not there to vent. You’re there to learn and understand and seek closure. Venting will put your parents in a defensive posture and will not likely meet your purpose for arranging the talk in the first place. 11. Stop Putting so Much Stock in How You were Raised Instead of constantly peeling away the scabs of life to see how things are healing underneath, decide what you want out of life, what traits are required to obtain what you want, and then act. Work at overcoming emotional obstacles and other personal obstructions without worrying so much about where they came from. Just get on with the work of living well. The past is the past. Let it die there, and stop unburying the dead and move on. Trying to drag the corpse of yesterday through life will make each moment of today a bit more difficult to manage. So find purpose and passion in life and move forward, looking back only long enough to learn from it. 12. Assume Good Intent Assume the best motives behind what very well may have been the worst practices. But assume they did the best they knew how (similar to #3). We sometimes have the habit of ascribing pure motives to our own flaws and evil intent to others. Instead, try being as magnanimous about their flaws as we hope others will be about our own. When we assume good motives behind misguided practices and weak wills, it is often easier to overlook and forgive their failures. --- Quiz: How is Your “Mental Wellness”? http://judybelmont.com/2012/04/quiz-how-is-your-mental-wellness/#more-118 Quick quiz to get an approximate gauge of your Mental Wellness I.Q. Below are 8 items that you may agree with or disagree with. On a scale of 1 to 7, rate your level of agreement with each item, being honest and open with yourself. On the comments below I would love to hear how you did! 7 Strongly Agree 6 Agree 5 Slightly Agree 4 Neither Agree or Disagree 3 Slightly disagree 2 Disagree 1 Strongly disagree _____ I feel satisfied with who I am and where I am in my life _____ I refuse to allow regrets and disappointments cloud “today” _____ I feel a strong sense of connection with others and do not feel isolated _____ I tend to think rationally and optimistically _____ I do not hold onto grudges and can forgive others for not living up to my expectations _____ I feel a great sense of control over my emotions, thoughts and feelings _____ I have a healthy sense of humor and can laugh at life’s imperfections _____ I feel more gratitude on how my life is now rather than focus on what’s lacking Total your score here: ____________ Mental Fitness Range: 51-56 Mental Wellness is extraordinary! 46- 50 High level of Mental Wellness 40-46 Moderate level of Mental Wellness 32-39 Mental Wellness needs some boosting! 24-31 Mental Welness is posing problems for optimal health – needs work! 16-23 Needs improvement! Actively work on improving your Mental Wellness Below 15 Danger Zone! --- 02:00 Tony Ambra I can loan you 150.00 if it helps Thanks for the offer, Tony! It's not quite THAT bad, yet, but it may be in a few weeks, if I don't pull something off. I appreciate all the work you're doing -- being a good friend to many NDers -- and staying positive and upbeat about things. I'm also glad to hear about your new business opportunity, as it sounds like a great job for you. Take care and thanks again for the offer! - Matt --- 02:05 Cathleen So, Hi. Are you upset with me/us? What happened last weekend with Jackson? I kinda assumed that, under the circumstances, you guys would jump at the chance to learn and do some processing. My guess is that Jackson decided not to come to class for some reason... is that true? Anywayz, I/we missed you, and Daniel, and Jackson. How's things going now?!? Take care. - Matt --- keyboard ain't workin' right, again! bizarre. --- 4:29 Love, reign on me. Love, reign on me. - Reign o'er me, The Who --- , finish JKM, around his schedule ,Josh Wright re: IMS "Wright, Josh" ,call Tom O' this morning re: a place to stay ,11: Melinda, $400 contract speciFics ,2: MCTV edits to EQ-101 (no prep req'd, but some forethought might be nice) ,write to/call Gloria ,5: MFF BOD! by phone or in person? another option... a yard or drive where I can (safely) park the MH3, and get to bus or ferry and back. I'm outta propane, and I'm freezing, even with the under-desk heater going. go work on JKM at house? Bella's in heat. dripping blood (tiny bits, and mostly she cleans them up, too) but I gotta 'control' her more, and watch other doggies around her Poosy is fixed, but Buddy dog (Jimmie Paul's) is not. nor is little Doc dog, but he couldn't possibly! (he's almost 2' away, crotch to crotch!) --- 4:37 Yo wendy. Check this out... I think you'll like it! Online Learning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6FvJ6jMGHU (20:00) - Matt --- I should go back thru mcp.txt and just see what I do/did each day... and see if that's a cool way to spend my time. I know that when it gets serious, and I gotta get something big done, I will put it off forever, or almost forever, until it's DUE. --- we can't just learn EQ out of a book Online Learning: 100,000 people in a class! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6FvJ6jMGHU (20:00) but it CAN be taught, online and with local in-person groups! >> find out who's doing this already! --- 05:01 We have found that if we are willing and able to Feel-and-Release our negative feelings, in safe, appropriate ways, it allows room for, and quite naturally helps "create", more positive feelings. It's quite wonderful actually (bordering on magical). Try it, it's free! Remember that saying, "Doctor, heal thyself"? Well, we are the doctors of EQ, so we must be willing and able to feel our feelings, to walk our talk, and heal our own pain. --- -------------- mcp --------------- I can only give my best to others when I am in touch with the best in myself. - Debby Rising --- EQ-101: The Self-Help Manual on how to Live and Love using our Feelings and Emotions! EQ-101: The Self-Help Manual on Using our Feelings and Emotions to Live and Love Wisely, Joyously and Successfully! --- 05:11 3 Reasons you should consider have your own info product. 1) You're seen as an instant expert in your market If you take the time to create a simple, step-by-step information product that can walk your ideal clients through one single objective that they have, you will be seen as an expert. Before people even buy the product, they will recognize that you are an authority on the topic...and you ARE! This expert status can lead to paid speaking gigs, higher fees for your 1:1 services, selling out your group coaching or training programs, joint venture opportunities, etc. 2) You can escape the "time for money" business trap If you are only helping people 1:1 then you are limiting the amount of money that you can earn and and working far too many hours earning it. The only way to make more money is to raise your prices and even that will have a cap eventually. Having a product that you can sell 24/7 eliminates the need to trade time for money allowing you to reserve your time for ideal clients who pay premium fees. 3) You can serve more people and make a bigger impact Imagine selling 100, 200 or even 1,000 copies of your information product. The positive impact that this will have on your market is unparalleled. Now, imagine working with 100 individual clients 1:1. Need I say more? This would be nearly impossible and completely draining if you could pull it off. It's time to create your own, profitable info product and I will guide you every step of the way during the Info Product Weekend. This is a virtual training program that you can attend from anywhere in the world while you create your best selling topic, attention getting title and 100% of your content for a brand new information product. --- "Wright, Josh" Hi Josh, What's happening with IMS? Thanks. - Matt Matt Perelstein 916-599-8597 --- 05:21 fB-ND I love how facebook has become very personal growth, even EQ-oriented! So many posts now are pictures with positive quotes, tips, sayings, statements, attitudes. Some are off-base, or based on erroneous traditional roles and biases, but overall, I like the trend! a) the attitude and awareness is great! b) many/most are right-on, and actually pretty darned helpful c) people are 'connecting' over them, speaking/sharing their feelings (or at least a joke about their feelings, which is fine), and becoming more consciously aware that We have Choices, and we CAN do something about our plot in life! Woohoo. EQRocks! --- 5-6:30ish FB-ND About: In one powerful immersion weekend, learn how to heal your past, fully experience the present, and together, build the best possible future we can create! In one powerful EQ immersion weekend, learn to heal your painful past, live fully in the present and build the best future we can, together! Name: New Directions Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Feel-it-to-heal-it Weekend Intensive New Directions Emotional Intelligence Healing Intensive Description: (old) "I have Personal Power" "I am THROUGH being the Victim" "I always have choices. I choose ME, and I choose to FEEL ALIVE!" "Get IN, Get it OUT, and Get ON" 3 Steps to Dealing with Feelings 1. Awareness - always the first key to change 2. Acceptance - embrace your feelings and live an happy(er), love-filled life... deny 'em, and your destined for pain and disappointment. 3. Action - we are responsible for our own choices, behaviours, attitudes and belief systems and we can create our lives and relationships so they work for all involved. Description: Discover a whole new world inside your own heart and mind -- the last great adventure on earth is the journey inside ourselves! You've been taught IQ in schools -- the left-brain logic and knowledge needed to get a job -- but we can have very high IQ and have happiness, success or love in our life. What's missing is the power and passion of the right-brain (EQ) -- the creativity, intuition and joy that allows us to connect deeply with ourselves and others, understand and master success and lifeskills principles and techniques, in a place where we can all grow together... so we never feel alone, again! Thru a series of powerful, time-tested individual and group exercises, we can help you heal your heart and emotions -- to Release-Replace-Rejoice old pain, anger and grief from your past -- to start anew; refreshed, rejuvinated, relaxed and hungry for more -- more joy, more love, more life! General Info: In a small group environment, we start by teaching the cognitive left-brain how right-brain EQ works, so it can understand, feel safe and give the right-brain permission to proceed. Then, we delve into the right-brain -- to discover, and release some of the pain and anger from our past, by allowing our inner child to speak, and feel, express and heal in a super-safe, loving, supportive environment. Each students gets individual time to work thru our "Statement of Direction"... a proclamation that 'we are through being a victim, and finished blaming others... and we choose to use our personal power from this day forward! The weekend involves some lecture, but mostly it's experiential, including sharing, visualization, communication, emotional processing and role-play exercises. It's 2.5 solid days of intensive EQ skills training, personal connections, and emotional release. The class is Friday night from 7-11ish, Saturday from 9-8ish, Sunday starts at 9, graduation's at 7pm. In one short weekend... boom, you're different. Things have changed/shifted/healed inside you. The world looks brighter, and more hopeful, and you will feel more in your control of yourself, your thoughts and feelings, and your entire life! I promise you that within those short hours, you will see and feel your life change dramatically, for the better, or we will give you your money back. We are willing to love and accept you as you are -- even the parts of you that YOU may not like -- until you can start to love and accept yourself. - we heal feel it to heal it. lessons environment model support encouragement UPR IQ EMFB 7 Steps 4 Steps 3 Steps EQ --- 06:13 f's are back on! --- Here are just 8 items that you may agree with or disagree with. On a scale of 1 to 7, rate your level of agreement with each item, being honest and open with yourself. Immediate results... try it! --- Pin and Tweet The new intention of education... let's teach people How to think and feel, not What to think and feel! Let's teach kids how to think and feel, not what to think and feel! #EQ #EmotionalIntelligence http://pinterest.com/pin/250512797993281902/ --- Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. http://www.empowermentresources.com/info2/childrenlearn-long_version.html If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. --- Melinda: , EQRocks is broken... can't add/edit posts VA writing Create template for ARs Setup AR --- 0700 wake up pkp --- The mind is not a vessel that needs filling, but wood that needs igniting ! - Plutarch --- Emotions As Tools http://www.emotionsastools.com/Emotions%20In%20Motion_A%20Primer%20to%20Harness%20Your%20Feelings_Ama.pdf Guilt, communicates the message “I did something wrong (or didn't do something that I should have done).” Shame communicates the message “There is something about me that is wrong.” Depression communicates the message that “I see myself as hopeless, helpless, or worthless.” Anger communicates the message “There is a threat in my environment that I can do something about.” Anger may also communicate the message that you have determined who caused the threat and blame that person or entity for any undesirable consequences that have occurred. Fear says “There is a threat in my environment that I can't do anything about and that will seriously hurt me”. Anxiety says “There MAY be a threat in my environment that MIGHT possibly be able to hurt me.” Happiness is “I've accomplished my goal. I'm pleased with what is happening. I want this to continue.” Sadness communicates “I've lost something, an opportunity, or someone that is important to me.” The Emotions as Tools suggests that our emotions are tools that help us interact more effectively with our environment. - I teach that all emotions communicate a message to us about how we (and others) perceive the situation in which we find ourselves. Once you identify the emotion (by knowing YOUR physical/mental "signs") and you label the emotion, you are then empowered to determine if the message is valid for the situation or it is not. The message is what the "emotion is telling you". If the message is valid, act on the emotion. If it is not, adjust your perception (thought) and the feeling will change. The message of anger is that there is a "threat" ( A threat can be to our person, our goals, our beliefs, our values, etc.) out that that I have the power to overcome and eliminate. Anger is a very energizing emotion. The message of anxiety (a future based emotion) is that there MAY be a threat out there and it may harm me. If the threat is valid, the anxiety becomes eustress and is a motivator. If the threat is not valid, we can choose to let go of the anxiety or to hold onto it and experience distress. The message of fear (a present based emotion which is different from anxiety) is that there is a threat and the threat will harm me unless I get out of the situation. This is the "hair on the back of the neck" experience which we may ignore (to our own peril) because cognitively we cannot see anything wrong with the situation. An example is how we might react to a stranger in an elevator. --- LI-EIN Kim K. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? My name is Kim Knight and I specialize in helping people identify and resolve the underlying emotional causes of stress and disease (dis-ease). It is so important people make the connection between emotions and health. I specialize in chronic conditions such as CFS, adrenal exhaustion, IBS, fibromyalgia, depression and more, ALL of which have their roots in emotional under-management. I am passionate about sharing any information I can about EQ, and do so worldwide via online events in order to reach as wide an audience as possible. Joshua will be one of the key speakers on my upcoming EQ summit in September, where I have gathered 27 experts to talk about all facets of EQ and how we can transform our health, relationships, wealth, education system through living from our heart. Plus the role EQ plays in soul development and the future direction of the planet. The event is also showcasing HeartMath's 'Global Coherence Initiative', a ground-breaking scientific experiment to measure the mass effect of human emotions on the planet. PM me or see my page if you want more details. --- Do not fight against pain; do not fight against irritation or jealousy. Embrace them with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a little baby. Your anger is yourself, and you should not be violent toward it. The same thing goes for all your emotions - Thich Nhat Hahn --- Kelly Cook IHSS Northstar Developmental services Casper, wyoming for a year lost, felt defeated women don't make much living in parent's backyard, on Cedar street Sea Cottage, 3-4x/wk past Little River cemetary addiction cert Eureka one day at a time guilt and toxic shame guilty for choices, burden dad's an alchy, dry drunk parents 81, 78, mom breast cancer radiation, chemo, surgery angry, depressed Hep C, 9 years old motivation to staying clean, use and die God gave it to me to save my life meth don't know how to do a relationship don't know how to love to be in love, trust issues communications too safer baggage! newdirectionsworkshop.com --- 8 - 00:30 PKP to emergency with chest pain xray, nitro, morphine, and she's fine Tracy/Sean/Sarah B... PR --- 8.3 01:00 home salad slept on couch --- 08 up, P's off, coffee, chat Tom O'Callahan has a 'loft' I can stay in in San Rafael. $300, just me. yeehaa! , Sign offer and submit Melinda / Val Orders FB new job! Call Brian, MMF 937-2044 BOW, export data to --- Val Hi. - I didn't get to talk to Melinda yesterday, so I'll finish it up today and get you an updated spreadsheet and a receipt. - I got to review the EQ-101 video (36 min.). Along with the PPT slides, some stills and a 3.5 min video of Josh Freedman discussing the bioneurology of emotions, it's all gotta be edited down to 30 min, so I carefully documented the run times for each subject, so we can put it all together. Updated PPT is due to the TV station by monday... the first segment airs Friday, Aug. 10. I made an appt. to tape 2 more segments on Aug. 10, and 2 more on Aug. 14. Although the first taping was my first, I can already see how subsequent segments will be better, smoother, clearer. Since the next is on a Friday, I'm gonna see if Paula will film with me! - I got a job... a good one... but it's in downtown SF! I start Monday, Aug. 20. - I wish you the best on your class! more later... - Matt --- #1 fear is losing everything single woman old age poverty SS, savings they'll help me thru 12 years dancer --- Gloria Hey. they almost met the salary, and added a sign-on bonus to sweeten the deal! gobs of benefits, and time off, and 1 day/wk telecommute for all employees, and tuition reimbursement (unemployment for SQL Server dudes = 2%). and I just found a place to stay, on the bus line in San Rafael! Hey. they almost met the salary, and added a sign-on bonus to sweeten the deal! gobs of benefits, and time off, and 1 day/wk telecommute for all employees, and tuition reimbursement (unemployment for SQL Server dudes = 2%). and I just found a place to stay, on the bus line in San Rafael! rent: $300/mo. gas: $250.mo. 300 mi. round trip @ 20 mi/gal = 15 gal x 4 = 60 in gas, each week x 4.? commute: $200-400 ferry is $18/day x 5 = 100/wk x 4. bus is less. 300 250 333 ---- 888/mo to get there and back. + food, but that's totally up to me. That's nice to know. So, I have 2 weeks, full time, 24x7, to make something happen! I went to edit EQ-101 yesterday. it's pretty good... not great. I want it to be great. Let's brainstorm some possibilities. I'm gonna have to cry, and yell, I know that. Gonna work it in. I just invited Paula, but not sure what kinda drama that will mean. maybe none... but not likely. anticipate and change it. so it's about being the manager of my own life. just spoke to Nancy about that. how do we, yes, we, empower and create our lives? how do we Want to feel? #1 fear in the US is about losing everything. let's help each other make that happen. you know what I take away from the bank bailout fiasco? some lessons about accountability. and a fresh perspective on how MUCH Money there is out there! we don't need much, only $3.3M each... that's all. there's PLENTY to share. assets at your disposal. we don't have to have our OWN money, just at our disposal --- 2pm Monday interview! grants, MS Access 2003 - 2010 Lawrence Livermoor Labs, Berkeley(!) Helen Converting Access GRANTS app to 2010 Telecommute! --- Harish Raichandani commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? "It doesn't matter for how long the room has been dark; For a day, or a week, or a year, or for ten thousand years. The moment you bring in a candle; darkness vanishes like it was never there. Similarly, it doesn't matter for how long we are stuck in a sense of our limitations. The moment you decide to break free, nothing will stop you. Create the light of your life" - Unknown --- Hi Ken! How's your $3.3M coming?!? Mine took a turn for the better yesterday, as I accepted a nice offer from a firm in San Francisco to do database work for them. My concern is that this new 'day job' will slow down my work in developing and spreading EQ throughout the world! I will be submitting an application to the venture capital firm Draper-Richards-Kaplan's foundation whose goal it is to make sweeping social changes to our country and our world -- and I believe EQ is the answer! Applied EQ could very well make the fundamental shift in human consciousness that we need to survive and thrive, as a planet. As a pro in this arena, I'd welcome your thoughts on this concept and my goal. Take care. glad we're friends. - Matt http://www.drkfoundation.org On 08/02/12 7:40 PM, Ken Haberman wrote: -------------------- Hi Matt, Thank you for the chance to network with you. Please let me know when I can help you. All the best! Ken On August 2, 2012 7:32 PM, Matt Perelstein wrote: -------------------- I'd like to add you to my professional network. - Matt Perelstein --- publisher called It helps me makes sense of common sense. forget, I wanna learn helps me apply all that - negatively, revolt, extremist - closed, secure personally, shelter from others - a way to further knowledge about the world in a Islamic studies class when 9/11 hit only white male and only Christian male invited to ramadan Indiana Univ., little SF Happiness is a Choice --- Melinda this month, come up with 3-4 statuses and 1 article adds each month 10-15 hours setup, budget $15.97 20-25 hours serve consistency simplify design and branding 2:31 paid her $400 from PP sent receipt to Val. (pd!, moneypak, back to PP) and updated spreadsheet ($5k bal). --- 8.2 at JKM from 09:15 - 1:45 installed, all tested and working! jerry to give feedback. get check --- 8.3 1:12 Hi Jerry, So how'z the app working for you? Please test and let me know if there's anything to add/change. If you feel it is predominantly complete, I'd like to stop by and get a check for the remaining project balance today, if possible. I got the job in SF, but I don't start for 2 weeks, so I'll still be available to you for any tweaks and/or bug fixes that may arise. Ok? Thanks. - Matt --- PFIMS merlin https://mail.primaryfunds.net/remote tim / Cookie17 FAILED: - encrypted with ELG E-key, ID: 452DAA 97 - decryption failed. secret key not available. Perhaps the key expired, or is no longer valid. You might check with Merlin tech support. - Matt --- 490 - possession wildlife, Sunday --- Gloria Heart pain alka selzer --- pkp home orders (fast!) to JKM to USPS Figaredos (7x) propane Safeway, check in, pop tarts Tracy --- 7:33 >> birthday party for PR at our house Sunday at 4ish --- dinner Roar, pilot snooze --- 8.4 06: up, olympics, etc. finish Roar pilot pkp 08:00 trying to get Pkp's kindle to connect to wireless You will not be punished FOR your anger, you will be punished BY your anger. Give, but don't allow yourself to be used. Love, but don't allow yourself to be abused. Trust, but don't be naive. Listen, but don't lose your own voice. (downloaded and posted pic to fB-NDG, with good Likes) then to LI-EIN, and fb-ND --- 8:30 - 9:40 got Paula's her first Kindle books fantasy and science fiction subscription, at 0.99/mo. Steven King, UR, another she's happily reading in bed, with coffee. I came back down made a fire P had extra cottage cheese from work, so I mixed in applesauce and banana - yum! been eating too much lately, and very little exercise (exc. running a mile the other day, pretty easily!) fridge is full, but cut down! 10:12 keyboard prob again... f, right, 0/2 on keypad battery? try it now. keep outlook msg open for clipboard and spelling/thesaurus --- >> EQ-101 type in outline plan it out update PPT not much else, please. , reply to Melinda with plans xWrite to RHC? now or never --- ----------------- mcp ------------------- ND Testimonials ND was the single most changing agent I have ever experienced. - Valerie Gemanis, instructor and coach, "Nurturing Parenting" Me too 25 yrs ago...I may not have a title..I am free!!! I am a loving wife. I have a loving husband. Ty Matt and Paula!! - MK, Fresno, CA --- I think I was ready, EQ-wise, with the basic concepts, a few years ago but not business-wise, or boil-it-all-down-wise. and the world wasn't as ready for EQ as it is now. --- Great EQ advice, Sudha! Isn't it nice how facebook is now full of these graphics with personal awareness concepts and sayings? EQ is going mainstream -- yeehaa! --- Yay. Thanks, Melinda, for forgiving my uncertainty. I am trying to do sooo many things at once, and it's sooo flippin' important, and I have failed many times to make things happen the way I wanted. I will probably change my mind about the redesign of EQRocks, but I just don't want to look back and be sorry, again, for moneys spent. So, how about this... can we do it in chunks? Can I have a list of ToDos, what you would/could do to that site, if you could do it however you want? How would you set it up? thx. So, yes, let's roll. Attached is a sample of the big log file I mentioned. At the top, are the Categories I have come up with so far. --- ------------- mcp -------------- Live your life doing what feels right to you, not what someone else thinks you should do. It’s ok to listen to advice, but in the end, make the decision that feels best for you. Being a people pleaser is a very frustrating way to live. Get in the habit of pleasing yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness. Your feelings are important. "Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect." It is that simple. Every choice matters. Image: by Alexei Mikhailov --- Tester success info@directionsunlimited.com who else? --- ------------- mcp ------------ Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own. - 7 Reasons Positive Emotions are Good or your Heart: www.PositiveMed.com 1. Laughter makes blood flow more freely 2. Hugs release oxytocin and remove stress from the body 3. Love gives your heart a workout 4. Spending time with friends lowers blood pressure 5. Holding hands calms nerves 6. Love letters lower cholesterol 7. Positive attitude lowers the risk of heart attack. --- 11:47 http://www.maven.co/join/EvLQjgfV MCP testimonial On 08/02/12 11:00 PM, Murthy Kn wrote: -------------------- My kindest regards to ur noble self. I am grateful for myour benign consideration. --- Sara called to see if Paula's ok. Karlie's Kindle prob here, and at starbucks, but not at cookie company --- we can edit our post in FB, for a few secs, at least. f F --- Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) + Emotional Intelligence (EQ) = Whole Brain Thinking ($$) and Feeling (LOL !!) IQ + EQ = $$ + LOL !! head smarts + heart smarts = happiness and success in liFe! --- The Scary 7 Avoid... 1. High fructose corn syrup 2. Trans at 3. Artificial flavors 4. Artificial colors 5. Artificial Sweeters 6. MSG 7. Preservatives (saved image) --- PP = 561 (lowest in years!) -400 OnDemand VA -54 USPS --- You do not attract with you want. You attract what you are. - Dr. Wayne Dyer --- 3-4: helped Tom clean his area, move a table and remove the SnugTop or Sale! SnugTop, 6' 9" gold,, $500 new lumber rack short bed Imagine yourself, or a moment, feeling perfectly happy and peaceful. Then imagine how this could spread peace through everyone. We have the profound ability to heal simply by walking along our personal path of joy and peace. - Doreen Virtue and Robert Reeves --- B-Event Sept. 14-14 ND teaches EQ. EQ, when added to IQ, makes us LOL !! Come discover the power and beauty of our under-used Right-brain. We learn left-brain IQ knowledge in school, but our right-brain EQ feelings are never taught. EQ gives us a whole new world of positive feelings, love and clarity inside our own heart and mind. Don't live shut down, or in pain -- letting fear, anger, grief or guilt ruin your life! Join us for our first class in Fort Bragg -- together we can learn to take control of our feelings and emotions, heal the pain from our past, and make our future filled with wisdom, choices and best of all, emotional freedom! "ND was the single most changing agent I have ever experienced." - VG parenting coach 288 friends invited Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/457006164321399 --- Tracy, and Leela 4pm tomorrow chicken and roasted potatoes side dish drinks --- 6:31 fb-family RACHEL turns 21 on Monday! Family birthday party for her tomorrow, Sunday, at 4 at our place. We're having chicken on the bbq, potatoes and Tracy's famous macaroni salad. Come on over to help celebrate!! --- Hi Gang, and Thanks, Karen! It's so important that we stay connected, so please share your wins and loses with us. Here's a few items of interest from the Perelburger household: I got the job in SF, but it doesn't start for 2 weeks. Our youngest daughter Rachel turns 21 on Monday (and Sharon turns 70!), so we're feeling proud, but old. Paula's still overworked and underpaid (for real) I taped a tv show EQ-101 last week and it airs for the first of four times next friday, Aug. 10. We'll get it on YouTube asap. Paula's gonna do the next one with me! What's up with you? Remember, you can either post in the Facebook group or hit to this email message and it should go to everyone that was in the class (and no one else). Love ya'll! Matt -n- Paula p.s. - How would you like to be the ND social manager? We try to stay connected, and we don't want people to feel neglected or fall through the cracks, so we need someone to stay involved with folks if you're interested... should be fun and very rewarding! --- 7:05 on fb-Event Many supposedly very "smart" people get an "F" in Emotional Intelligence! As we repeat past unhelpful behaviors and thoughts over and over, they become our belief systems, and we end up living our present based on programming from our past, and we don't even know it. But it doesn't have to be this way! You can open your eyes to a whole new way of thinking, behaving, working, living and loving. And it doesn't take years of therapy. It can happen in one weekend. For more info (and hope), see: http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/ --- 7:18 SnugTop truck bed, 6.5' short-bed camper shell 4 sale! New is $895, asking $500. As you can see, it's in almost perfect shape! Includes heavy-duty lumber rack on top, with tie-downs. Just south of fort bragg, between gibney and pearl. Bring your truck over, we'll help you install it! 962-9006 --- Remember in class we talked about being angry at our fear, to make it subside a bit? It's a tricky balance, tho... we can't get angry "to cover" our fear... we still gotta be real about it, and honest about our primary feeling. BUT, I think we can get mad AT our fear, in order to get it some strength, and power. fear is usually about powerlessness, and powerlessness is usually about some story we tell ourselves about how we can't, or shouldn't, or what might happen. I say, 'No More'! I don't want to walk around afraid... in fact, I WILL NOT walk around afraid. no mas. it's enuf. ... and it's counter-productive. While --- Remember in class we talked about being angry at our fear, to make it subside a bit? It's a tricky balance, tho... we can't get angry "to cover" our fear... we still gotta be real about it, and honest about our primary feeling. BUT, I think we can get mad AT our fear, in order to get it some strength, and power. fear is usually about powerlessness, and powerlessness is usually about some story we tell ourselves about how we can't, or shouldn't, or what might happen. I say, 'No More'! I don't want to walk around afraid... in fact, I WILL NOT walk around afraid. no mas. it's enuf. ... and it's counter-productive. While I believe that anger is the most misunderstood, and disrespected (and misdirected) feeling, I believe fear is the wimpiest, and powerless, and changable feelings we have. We can't rush sadness, but we can kick fear to the curb, pretty quickly. Try it. Like we say in class, it's about things being more important than scary, right? Well, changing the meaning behind the fear (which is a thought) can instantly change my fear to drive, and motivation, and power. I can sit back in my chair, and tremble, or I can sit forward, on the edge of me seat, and write the scary emails, and ask or stuff (btw, I did it again... I asked for more, and got it... boom.) People apologize for long posts, but I will not apologize. I have a lot to say. I post 1/10th of what I write. It just comes flowing out... it's cool. example: All fear is based on a powerless thought. All sadness is based on a perceived loss. All anger is based on a perceived inequity. sooo, thoughts really do create feelings. but... All behaviours are based on at least 1 thought and at least 1 feeling. If we are not in touch with our feelings and emotions, we are making decisions with only part of the information we have... often causing Bad, terrible, hurtful, clueless, unaware decisions/behavioural choices. Teaching people about themselves. Know me. Like me. Love me. I know me. I like me. I even love me. which it's more likely I'll love you, too. No EQ, no me. Know EQ, know me. I know me. I understand me. I accept me. I am (mostly) proud of me. I can trust me, with me, more and more. I am personally responsible for me. --- 9:31 Yes, do it! Under Discussions, to the right of your pic, says "Start a Discussion" You put the question in the top subject line. I think your wording's just dandy -- short, clear, powerful, open-ended). What insights have you discovered about yourself and your world that have changed you? Then, there's a second box or Add more details, where you can elaborate more on the question, if you wish. Look at other discussions and you'll see the subject in larger letters, then the details, if any, in a smaller type, below. Go for it! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: EQ discussions From: "Doc Downing" Date: Sat, August 04, 2012 8:44 pm To: Matt, What would you think about a new EQ Discussion: What insights have you discovered about yourself and your world that have changed you? (You may be able to word it better.) I have no idea how to set up a new discussion. It seems that many of the “What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you?” are often the persons own discoveries and not someone else’s quote. For example here is one I learned this week: If you want to do something perfectly, then you don’t want to do it at all. You can want to do a good job or even an outstanding job but you can never do a perfect job. There are many very smart EQ people out there that are smarter than the people they are quoting. Let’s give them some recognition. Doc --- euc testimonial Its for my gliders and I'm going to boil the dried stuff and use as a deodorizer for my cages! - TN, NY --- 9:51 Shane Celis Hey Matt, Nykia and I went over your proposal, very cool stuff! We shared a Google doc with you. Let me know if you have any problem accessing it. 8 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Got it! Thanks. perusing... Indeed!! Yessir, and ma'dam... yes. I like your outline. yet, the problem is still understated! The problem is that Suicides are out of control, and crime is rising, and DV/SA is horrible, and the VA has NOT found a way to help hundreds of thousands of young people coming back from war. 3 minutes agoMatt Perelstein The problem is that, as a nation, and as a society, we are clueless, emotionally. And, it's actually worse than that... we don't just Not Know... we are Anti-Emotions. They are denied, and neglected, and disrespected, and in fact, the #1 thing in people's lives that they try to Avoid, at all costs. there's a ton of work to be done to change all this... and it's mostly guys... who can be pretty thick, and not open to see/change/be. but there's hope. lots of hope. and we CAN make this change, this fundamental shift in human consciousness. we can --- Hi Bev, One of the most powerful exercises I've seen is also super-simple to administer, and totally flexible to fit your audience. Purposes: Communication skills, safety, trust (we add intimacy, but that's a natural by-product, even if you don't want to use that word). We call it "The Tunnel of Love" (but you can soften it for a business group). We arrange chairs in two rows, facing each other, about 2 feet apart. Participants work with the person across from them (we have them hold hands, to make the connection, but I guess that's optional... yet I highly recommend it.) "The folks facing me are the A's, the folks with their backs to me are B's. A's will speak first, and try to be as real as you can be. B's, you'll be practicing one of the most important communication skills there is... called Shut-Up and Listen." "I'll give A's about a minute to finish a sentence as many times as you can until I say 'Switch', then B's talk, A's listen. When B's are done, I'll say, 'Silence', to take in what you heard, and what you said, and you'll have a chance to share." "A's to B's, finish this sentence... 'What I like about you is...' begin." Now, take into account that we are going TOWARD feelings, and this exercise can work wonders in that dept (my job, while they're sharing, is 'tissue patrol')... like "Mom/Dad, what I want to say to you is...", and "I feel unloved when...", and "what I'm most afraid of is...". But you can change the Q's to "What I enjoy most about my job/career is...", or "I am motivated to...", and "I believe my strengths are...". Be creative... it really gets people thinking AND feeling, and creates a powerful bond between participants, quickly and safely. I end with, "You can try this at home! Wanna connect with your wife/husband/kid/friend/parent... sit down across from each other, hold their hands, look into their eyes and speak from your heart!" Best wishes for a successful retreat! Let us know what you decide to do, please. I'd love to hear your curriculum, if you wouldn't mind sharing. --- You lift weights, I lift water buckets and hay bales. You run 1km, I ride 10km. You jump hurdles that can fall, I jump solid fences that don't budge. You work with a team, I work with a 1200 pound animal, that I have to communicate with, without words. Who's the athlete now ? Post this on your page if you have or want your own horse! You ask me what sport I do, I'll say Equestrian. You tell me, it's not a sport. You tell me, it's easy. You tell me, it takes no skill. You tell me, we just sit there. You tell me, we aren't athletes. You tell me, it's just a silly hobby. I ask you: have you ever trusted something so unpredictable, who with one misstep can kill us? Have you ever fallen from 10feet up, going 35mph and brushed yourself off? Have you ever raced full speed towards a solid obstacle? Have you ever jumped something taller then you? So before you underestimate us, think to yourself; do you understand the true bond required? Have you ever had a team mate, ten times your size? Ask yourself that, don't judge us! Post this on your page if you think so to ! --- Hi Bev, One of the most powerful exercises I've seen is also super-simple to administer, and totally flexible to fit your audience. Purposes: Communication skills, safety, trust (we add intimacy, but that's a natural by-product, even if you don't want to use that word). We call it "The Tunnel of Love" (but you can soften it for a business group). We arrange chairs in two rows, facing each other, about 2 feet apart. Participants work with the person across from them (we have them hold hands, to make the connection, but I guess that's optional... yet I highly recommend it.) "The folks facing me are the A's, the folks with their backs to me are B's. A's will speak first, and try to be as real as you can be. B's, you'll be practicing one of the most important communication skills there is... called Shut-Up and Listen." "I'll give A's about a minute to finish a sentence as many times as you can until I say 'Switch', then B's talk, A's listen. When B's are done, I'll say, 'Silence', to take in what you heard, and what you said, and you'll have a chance to share." "A's to B's, finish this sentence... 'What I like about you is...' begin." Now, take into account that we are going TOWARD feelings, and this exercise can work wonders in that dept (my job, while they're sharing, is 'tissue patrol')... like "Mom/Dad, what I want to say to you is...", and "I feel unloved when...", and "what I'm most afraid of is...". But you can change the Q's to "What I enjoy most about my job/career is...", or "I am motivated to...", and "I believe my strengths are...". Be creative... it really gets people thinking AND feeling, and creates a powerful bond between participants, quickly and safely. I end with, "You can try this at home! Wanna connect with your wife/husband/kid/friend/parent... sit down across from each other, hold their hands, look into their eyes and speak from your heart!" Best wishes for a successful retreat! Let us know what you decide to do, please. I'd love to hear your curriculum, if you wouldn't mind sharing. --- 10:30ish Aubrey, doing 10 banners for me, in exchange for me buying her a sub to MyBannerMaker.com examples she made: http://www.howrse.com/joueur/fiche/?id=29855195 Aubree Medlock hi! about an hour agoMatt Perelstein Yo! How'z it going, sweetie? you're an almost birthday-girl, right?!? about an hour agoAubree Medlock Yep! Its going good. how was ND? hello? 40 minutes agoMatt Perelstein oh, sorry! got busy 40 minutes agoAubree Medlock Its okay Jeesh im making Banners alot! Its my new addiction! 39 minutes agoMatt Perelstein ND was Very good this time... very good, indeed. (probably 'cause there were only 2 guys in the room... me and one assistant). Banners?? whatchamean? 39 minutes agoAubree Medlock Lol! Why not alot? Look on my page, I posted some 39 minutes agoMatt Perelstein don't know guys are dense, and don't 'get it'... that's why 38 minutes agoAubree Medlock Ah 38 minutes agoMatt Perelstein ah... graphics banners... got it. Nice!! would you make me some?? 37 minutes agoAubree Medlock Yep! I made one for mom, shell post it its awesome! Sure! What d you want it to say, and do you have a pic or preferred colors... 37 minutes agoMatt Perelstein does it have to say Made with MyBannerMaker.com on it? 37 minutes agoAubree Medlock Yeah I cant change it I tried but they make sure its owned by them 36 minutes agoMatt Perelstein I have lots of quotes that I wrote, or I like. 35 minutes agoAubree Medlock Do you have my email? You could send them to me 35 minutes agoMatt Perelstein yeah, you can, actually... http://mybannermaker.com/upgrade.php?affiliate=removeadslink $25 Banner Maker - Become a VIP! mybannermaker.com Share 35 minutes agoAubree Medlock yeah but im cheap lol, mom prob wouldnt let me get it anyways, ugh. 34 minutes agoMatt Perelstein "Aubree M." , right? 34 minutes agoAubree Medlock I actually really like the All My Fault banner. The other one i rushed, this one i took time on. Plus itll go great with my story Yep thats it! 33 minutes agoMatt Perelstein How about if I get it for you... in exchange for some cool banners?? would your mom be Ok with that? 32 minutes agoAubree Medlock No way?!?!?! Your not serious are you.... 32 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Yep! 32 minutes agoAubree Medlock I wouldnt want to do that... I mean its 25 bucks. Are you totally and completely sure? Heres a link for more banners i made:http://www.howrse.com/joueur/fiche/?id=29855195 31 minutes agoMatt Perelstein I want you to make me 10 banners. Then it's yours forever. what am I looking for on that page? There are some cool horse pics... 30 minutes agoAubree Medlock Okay what type of banners...are you sure that the banners will tak off the thing? On the white part it says my works and below it i made. I didnt make the other icons though like the madewithmybanners 29 minutes agoMatt Perelstein very nice! 28 minutes agoAubree Medlock Yeah thanks. What type of banners? Like do you have pics for them or... 28 minutes agoMatt Perelstein yes, I'm sure... it says on their site, "Adverts are removed" and "your banner is free rom our branding bar on the bottom" I have pics, but they're optional. Mostly it's the wording I want to look cool! "banner settings are stored" and "edit your saved banners anytime" custom sizes, from 1x1 to 728x728 ask your mom, first, k? Oh, and it's your Happy Birthday (in 25 hours and 22 minutes)! 17 minutes agoAubree Medlock K ill ask her. Yeah they have a lot of great styles and colors for the words. Ill ask her tomorrow she is going to bed, she got allergies really bad I wanna ask her when she feels better. She is going to post the banner I made her soon 15 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Ok! I'll start collecting the quotes I want and I'll send to you via email... okie dokie? 12 minutes agoMatt Perelstein here's where the banners you make will go... somewhere on these pages... http://www.EQRocks.com/ EQRocks! www.eqrocks.com Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the #1 most powerful concept on the planet right now! IQ is set but EQ can be dramatically improved, quickly, inexpensively and permanently. IQ + EQ = LOL !! Share 9 minutes agoAubree Medlock Ah! You run the site or are part of it... Yeah that's good 8 minutes agoMatt Perelstein I am it. I had it done, I designed it, and I wrote every word on it. I did not, however, do the graphics... and I don't like many it's owned by the 2GetHelp non-profit that your mom and I are on the Board of. 4 minutes agoAubree Medlock Oh. Nice, so that info might help her agree a few seconds agoMatt Perelstein yay. I don't think she'll have a big prob with it. It's a business deal, after all! You'll be able to put this on your resume as one of your first jobs. - Hi you! So, here are some banners I'd like made. Be creative with the colors and backgrounds. Here are some notes. The words must stand out clearly from the background Professional-looking, no sparkles. Check carefully for typos font must be readable, not too fancy I do have pics, of people, and other stuff, if you want to use any... but the wording is the most important. This EQ stuff is REALLY important (like life or death in some cases), so we gotta tell people what we know! Let's try one or two and see how they look, k? Please to be in business with you!! - Matt Banner Quotes: Happiness is a Choice! IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQRocks! We gotta Feel it to Heal it! --- It's raining! (for about a minute) --- 11:08 Remember in class we talked about being angry AT our fear, to make it subside a bit? It's a tricky balance, tho... we can't get angry "to cover" our fear... we still gotta be real about it, and honest about our primary feeling (esp. with ourselves). BUT, I think we can get mad AT our fear, in order to give it some strength, and power, and courage. fear is usually about powerlessness, and powerlessness is usually about some story we tell ourselves about how we can't, or shouldn't, or what might happen if. I say, 'No More'! I don't want to walk around afraid... in fact, I WILL NOT walk around afraid. no mas. it's enuf. ... and it's counter-productive. While I believe that anger is the most misunderstood, and disrespected (and misdirected) feeling, I believe fear is the wimpiest, and most powerless... and one of the most Changable feelings we have. We can't rush sadness, but we can kick fear to the curb, pretty quickly. Try it. Like we say in class, conquering our fear is about making things more Important than Scary, right? Well, changing the meaning behind the fear (which is a thought) can instantly change my fear, to make it into a drive, a motivation, with power. I can sit back in my chair, and tremble, or I can sit forward, on the edge of my seat, and write the scary emails, and ask or stuff (btw, I did it again... I asked for more, and got it... boom.), and push myself to do and say the things I'd be afraid to say... if it weren't so darned Important! --- How people treat us is their karma. How we react is ours. - Dr. Wayne Dyer A single prospecting call a day, five days a week, adds up to 250 presentations a year. The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. - Marcel Proust --- 11:58 Added 11/2-4 ND as event https://www.facebook.com/events/394675943918838 --- 8.5 pause a bit... 02:21 "Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. - G. K. Chesterton" --- LI-EIN Ginger Robinson commented on I have been given the great pleasure of designing a EQ program for at risk teenagers. I am asking the group for any suggestion? Thanks... Hi Koreen, I am about to take 26 Juniors and Seniors from my school on a weekend Leadership Retreat. They will be presented a whole segment on Emotional Intelligence. I have been teaching EQ to my teens since I was trained in it a number of years. My kids are not "at risk"...however, they are typically very gifted students who go to Ivy League Schools. But, I have spent a large amount of my 37 years of Education in inner city schools, and I know that EVERYONE needs EQ! I believe that our rehab centers and jails are full because The Baby Boomers Generation was never taught about how important "feelings" were and that they must be acknowledged! It wasn't our parents fault, it was just a different world back then. So, this won't be too long, I will just tell you my five "Feelings Concepts" that I teach my kids and use all year long. 1. We ALL have feelings. 2. Feelings Change (important because teens committ suicide!) 3. We need a "Feelings Vocabulary" (too many kids only know sad, happy, scared and angry...they need a plethora of words in their feelings vocabulary!) 4. Feelings Need Validating (that's what I do, as a high school Counselor) 5. Feelings Cause Conflict I hope this is helpful, Koreen! Blessings, Ginger Robinson --- Be Happy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXI80TqAMQQ (2:42) Show up follow your heart find a new perspecitive have a sense of wonder find people you love set goals help others Dance Pamper Yourself face your fears go to a museum Exercise limit TV Get in touch with nature lighten up get a good night's sleep read books buy yourself flowers don't compare with others don't beat yourself up be open to new ideas don't focu on negatives focus on creating what you desire make time just to have fun keep the romance in your life make a gratitude list love your mother earth want what you have be true to yourself --- 3:00 TED-Ed Training, by subject Watch Quick Quiz Think Dig Deeper written by one animated by another posted for all then, "flip it" Change the title, customize it show it! use any YouTube video free, remarkable library of lessons worth sharing! --- 3:14 Thanks, ya'll! What a pleasure it is to bring pleasure to you and your furry friends!! You guys are the best. GC Rocks! - Matt :tnx --- 03:15 rebooting hoping keyboard will work better a_ter nope end o_ The Big Year... disappointing, esp. with an amazing cast. 04:15 PR called to see i_ I was up. I was birthday party stu__ 05ish snooze 09:ish up paula asked i_ I was upset with her. As usual, this doesn't turn out very well. 11ish to store to get _ood _or party not _un home cook, HB eggs, potato salad, shuck corn. burn trash, compost out (without dirt) 2:10 here. Bella's still on her period, but not spotting much, anymore. only issue has been Buddy dog... but he's skittish and runs away, even i_ I just say his name. changing keyboard batteries, to see... just did it a _ew weeks ago, so... --- w4t2346trtt nope. same probs. --- 8.6 HB2PR! >> ,EQ-101 outline fix PPT D-R app CV update orders ,find doc for pkp's heart prob get Left-brain/right-brain blown up? ND brochure wording --- Congrats Matt!! Best to you...bennies are nice. This company is gaining a great asset. Hugs...Angie August 6 THANKS!!! You're sweet, and you've always been oh-so supportive... I muchly appreciate that about you! some think it is silly to be that actively positive and loving... but I think it's Wonderful! ... and I highly recommend it as a lifestyle choice. Choose Love. --- Happiness is a Choice. Choose Love. Love leads to Happiness. - LI-EIN (draft) Ok, we need to sum up "What is EQ?" and "What is the point of EQ" in a very few words... something we can put on a lapel pin or a bumper sticker... soundbytes that we can bring to the world. We're close -- Check out our discussion at the link below. It gives some wonderful descriptions of EQ, in just 1 word. Let's take that word and make into a statement, a suggestion, a command, an action, or a concept that teaches EQ. soundbites we can use. My guess is that most people have them, in their heads, that you use to remind yourself, so please share. let's share our brains, and our hearts, with safe people. because we can, because it's fun, and because it makes life worth living. I'll start: Happiness is a Choice! Choose Love! IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQ > IQ! Right-brain EQ + Left-brain IQ = LOL !! Feelings Matter Give first, Trust first, Risk first Get a Clue, Get a Grip, Get a Life, Learn EQ --- Ongoing Plan posts I have 2 weeks do an every-day regimen EQRocks.com article EQRocks on FB FB-NDG FB-ND LI-EIN When I Pinterest, I also Tweet to EQRocksEQHeals When I Scoop.it, it goes to EQResources on EQ >> make a coherent and consistent plan make an overall plan, irst >> ,reply to Doc's post on LI-EIN post my new thread there. --- Livin' Please knock me down! please, let me have an adventure. please give me liFe! not physical pain, in me or others but adventure, interest, Fun, aliveness, joy. I think we're horribly bored society even with all the distractions, so Few have heart. let's make the ultimate heart connection have people be totally completely REAL with each other. and help them heal, each other, together, and apart. Our society is emotionally clueless. --- 10:49 LI-EIN Cynthia W. commented on Is discontentment necessary for growth? Are we motivated to strive and achieve only if we achingly "don't have enough"? What a wonderful discussion of an intriguing question! Thank you all for such rich comments! I have read through all of them so far and notice that some of you have tried to make a distinctions among the terms embedded in the question. I need to do this before I can make my comment. First, "contentment" - I think of this as a state we strive for. That is why "discontentment" can be a driver. The objective, when we are acting out of a state of discontent, is to achieve contentment. Second, "Getting ahead" - "Ahead" implies that there is something to get ahead of. My question is, "ahead of what?" Ahead of the people who are not content? Ahead of a standard of living? What does getting ahead do for the people who are content? Is there suffering that needs to be alleviated? If so, perhaps therein lies a discontent already. Third, "growth" - We seem to be talking about all kinds of growth - economic, material, personal, spiritual, etc. Is growth something to be desired in every realm, or is there such a thing as "sustainable stability" in many of these categories that can be a temporary or permanent state that does not require growth - and/or could be disrupted in a negative way by growth? AND if growth is desirable and not happening, or the engines for sustainability are also absent (stagnant) then that seems to imply that there would be discontent (not enough). So, given the distinctions above, there may be more to the question than I can know. I don't know the conditions in either the village or the city, and there may be relevant details, but on the face of it I want to say that the village people seem to have the very thing the city people are striving for. Contentment. The question creates a great metaphor for our own internal and external conditions of contentment/discontent, growth/stagnation and "getting ahead"/"letting be." I also appreciate the wonderful paradox embedded in the question: If I observe that people are content with a measurably lower standard than would bring about my own contentment, would it be helpful to disrupt their contentment in order to drive them to want to achieve contentment closer to my terms? Personally, I have great admiration for those who can be content (appreciative) with materially less than I think I would be content with. Personally (and paradoxically) I would consider my personal and spiritual "growth" to move toward contentment with less in the realm of material and economic wealth. Food for thought. Thanks for the opportunity to comment on this provocative question! - Linda M. commented on Is discontentment necessary for growth? Are we motivated to strive and achieve only if we achingly "don't have enough"? A certain amount of discontentment ( I call it frustration) is necessary for us to grow. It acts as a motivator/conduit for ( hopefully) healthy change. Being in discontentment/frustration too long, however, robs us of our energy to persist, thus left feeling dissatisfied in any given area of our life. This precludes the fact that we all have been exposed to different ways of building resilience in our lives. Someone never exposed to life's dualities is apt to use artificial and external means to live. --- 11:06 internet's not happy --- 11:30 created ~EQ-101 folder in MyDocs and ~mcp-EQ-101-Part1.txt typed in EQ-101 edits taping 35:49, must edit down to 28:30 so what gets chopped? --- >> good place to place an article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-r-doty-md/science-of-compassion_b_1578284.html# --- 12:12 Tara Huff Yay! Acceptance is such an important key to the whole thing! We're not saying we're never gonna have all those feelings... we can even welcome them in, as long as we accept them as a part of living, breathing and feeling. Good 4 U, Tara... you're doing great, and I'm super-proud of you (and you're high EQ)! --- PP = 741 +3 orders each of last 3 days (and $531 is heading my way) -25 Ginny Varnum, MS bike ride --- Is suffering really necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. You would not be reading this now. Suffereing cracks open the shell of ego, and then comes a point when it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary. - Eckhard Tolle --- 1:49 PKP MDCH.org 961-1234 cardiology-pulmunary 961-4665 http://www.mcdh.org/about/press-room/mendocino-coast-hospital-echocardiography-lab-earns-major-accreditation/ Reid Patterson, Echo Lab Sonographer 2:57 faxed Chest Pain page to 961-4790 avinash@xrgsystems.com XRG Systems Inc. 1 Annabel Lane, Suite 217, San Ramon, CA 94583 www.xrgsystems.com Tel : +1 925-241-4995 Fax : +1 925-241-4584 --- 2pm Monday interview! grants, MS Access 2003 - 2010 Lawrence Livermoor Labs, Berkeley(!) Helen Converting Access GRANTS app to 2010 Telecommute! Caltrans & DPR • Converted and fixed over 60 databases, many requiring bug fixes/enhancements in VBA code, trusted locations, enabling content, user-level security (ULS), macros, shortcuts, references, DLLs, ODBC connections, and other Access components. OMPM version 2, 95, 97, 2000, 2002/2003, 2007, 2010 I have Access 3 (12), 7 and 10 (14) loaded now - helen, karen (R5) DOE, UC Life sciences, non-DOE funding reports to NIH, etc. shadow systems small teams relatively small grants to support 1-2-3 scientiests block funded $50M/year, in 1 bucket 150 dif buckets 1996 run Paws track proposals, many fields for proposals NIH, which gratns already have, % o time not a use case Access 2003 2010, problems don't have robust support mech clean, tweaks/enhancements, archives, tune it (slow) still the right tool eventual data dumps into into peoplesoft using Excel stabalized karen clean it up written by non-access programmer critical: index to all grant files! number generator cross-relates people to multiple proposals tool to assign work to people 5 years out reports required, assign to person, review assignments tools, used and depend on upgrade to 2010 unstable beyond slow, unusable correlary DB, tracks people's efforts in a dif way used by budgeting people used to talk, don't talk to each other anymore they're in 2010, we're in 2003 can be a thing of beauty 100 hours? 1st deliverable would be an assessment of what's needed milestones, estimates PAD 2010 - budgets POD 2003 - grants challenge is the procurement references today - Hello Helen. It was good to meet with you and Karen. It sounds like there's hope for your database, if given the chance! Per your request, following are a few (of many!) happy customers you may contact to check me out. 1. Dr. Fred Stevens, Veterinary Medical Officer Firm: State of California Dept of Food and Ag (CDFA) Email: fred.stevens@cdfa.ca.gov Phone: (916) 900-5046 Project(s): Access development and SQL Server DB design 2. Rob Lyss, Owner Firm: Rob Lyss Enterprises Email: roblyss@hotmail.com Phone: (916) 899-9717 Project: Access development 3. Cynthia Kelly, President Firm: NetSource Consulting Inc. Phone: 916-939-3335 Email: ckelly@netsourceca.com Project: Supervisor, DPR and Caltrans Office/DB Conversion Projects 4. Gloria Watson, ex-Controller Firm: Kimberlite Corporation Phone: 559-269-5419 Email: gloria.watson@comcast.net Project: Modification and Enhancement to complex Access database Please let me know what else you need from me in order to get started. I'm available to start work as soon as the procurement paperwork is complete. Thank you. - Matt Perelstein 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: contact From: Helen Cademartori Date: Mon, August 06, 2012 2:23 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com -- Helen Cademartori Deputy Division Director for Operations Life Sciences Division Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory One Cyclotron Road, MS Donner Berkeley, CA 94720 (510) 486-6468 f Thanks much, Fred -- you're a champ in my book! FYI: This is only a 100-hour side job (part-time, off-site). They tried converting their grants DB from Access 2003 - 2010 and it didn't go well... so I'll do it or them (sometimes takes only 5 minutes, but hopefully longer.) Then they want some basic functional enhancements. I think I can handle it. Gosh, they're missing out if they didn't even contact you for that position. WTH? Best wishes for your continued employment OR for a cool future that you create outside of CDFA! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: contact From: "Stevens, Fred@CDFA" Date: Mon, August 06, 2012 3:02 pm To: Hi Matt, Thanks for the heads-up re this new job application – Lawrence Berkeley Nat. Lab Cyclotron? Sounds exciting! Just a FYI – I have not heard anything or gotten an interview for the cool job I was applying for at the diagnostic lab (since April!), worse yet, I am on a short list (related to seniority) for veterinarians to get laid off from Sac. Office of CDFA. Oh well, perhaps I will be a musician this time around… who knows! (mcp testimonial) Good luck with this new job! – I’ve got your back as far as a reference goes! Your colleague, Fred --- ,make appt Diane Harris, NC Family Health 961-4631, 3 Roberta Friday, 1:15, checkin at 1:00 Bring this, ask her 8-10 doctors there Reid 961-4631 hit "0" All can be done at MCDH, 6 stress tests, only 1 we don't do here ECHO EKG --- 4:44 The edit list shows everything that was taped... including some segments marked as "SKIP". To get it down to the desired 28:30, we could also SKIP the "7 Steps to Healing Feelings" (From 21:41 to 24:07). Does that make sense? Thanks or checking on the desk graphic! Attached is an updated copy of the edits and the updated PPT (better?). Yes, we can do 2 shows in a row next time to save time. An estimate will be helpful. How do you do the taping differently/better to minimize the edit time? No problem becoming a member. Thanks! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: How is the editing going From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Mon, August 06, 2012 4:28 pm To: Matt, I am not sure I understand your edit list- is the show going to be 36 minutes (35.49)? If so I think I do get, if not. . . Let me get back to you about the graphic for the desk- Mateo was working on something digital for that, but he is in class today until later. As there is quite a bit of editing and we haven't started yet, I am thinking to hold playing this until the next week. I should be able to give you a realistic estimate, tomorrow for what this first show cost. Potentially the next shows will be cheaper as we are shooting two in a row right? I may or may not have mentioned that you need to become a member ($36) of MCTV- it is an annual membership. It is our policy to require membership for people using our studio or we charge our commercial rate which is twice as much per hour. Elizabeth On Aug 6, 2012, at 2:00 PM, wrote: <~mcp-EQ-101-MCTVShow1.txt> --- https://www.facebook.com/pages/IMS-Health/107323295963975 Signed up Aubree Medlock horselover888@yahoo.com / horselover MyBannerMaker.com $25 for a year --- 6:13 LI-EIN My intention is to build an emotional support site that will be available 24x7x365, where both peers (volunteers) and pros are available to talk/listen/show kindness/and compassion. I believe many want to give help/loving support, and there are many, many who want/need to get help. I am quite positive that this simple concept can, and will, save lives (I've seen it happen)! Anyone want to join me/us in this important project? --- MCTV http://mendocoasttv.org/indmempay.html $36 Individual Membership Public, Education & Government (PEG) Access on the Mendocino Coast since 1983 >> send receipt to Val (draft saved) --- party or PR 9:30ish, Dick's place. lots o her riends showed up, about 15, mostly guys graduate -> goodguy --- 8.7 01:07 Nobody in sales has ever been ashamed of telling people exactly what they do for a living when they are making money. I'm not willing to not _eel proud o mysel. I won't do it. thereore, that raises my sites. I'm not willing to be ashamed o my work. I'm not willing to let people down. I'm not willing to not keep my word. I'm not willing to ail. there's striving or, and striving against. I want, is dierent than, I don't want. I'm in search o, vs. I'm in ear o. I'm going toward, or I'm running away. it matters. it's certainly relevant. unsae, without eeling powerless. not a victim, hardly ever, any more. I was, a lot. but it gets old, so I stopped. a riend o our daughters helps manage a seniour home, and she was telling o a lady who had a stroke and can't move, at ALL, not her arms, nor legs, nor acial muscles, only her eyes. she can blink Yes or No. she's ully cognizant. Can you imagine. that is the ultimate punishment/imprisonment/trauma... to be totally trapped inside your own body? wow. but it can be done. we have heard stories o POWs that survived, and even thrived (to some extent), even while in captivity. how? they decided. 02:09 re-examine(?) --- "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharal Nehru --- 02:12 You'll know when you need to know, Matt, and not a moment earlier. --- Angie Boulware Congrats Matt!! Best to you...bennies are nice. This company is gaining a great asset. Hugs...Angie THANKS!!! You're sweet, and you've always been oh-so supportive... I muchly appreciate that about you! some think it is silly to be that actively positive and loving... but I think it's Wonderful! ... and I highly recommend it as a lifestyle choice. Choose Love. --- pause... 05:20 he who eats till he is sick, must fast till he is well. --- , backup! yes, a N360 Backup was made to K: on Sunday, 2:44pm (according to the older times) --- >> going to help edit EQ-101 today --- http://www.6seconds.org/2011/10/15/neurobiology-of-emotional-intelligence/ --- EQ-101 edits new shows ? cancel friday's tapings, but leave Monday's? D-R needs to be done, too but the tapings are here, now, and will be much harder, later. --- greetings Happy Birthday Happy Haloween Merry Christmas Happy New Year Happy Easter Happy Valentine's Day Happy Memorial Day? no. --- Nykia and Shane Matt Perelstein Hi. I sorta went off on a tangent in my reply (as I often do), but I hope I got across that I do very much appreciate the work you guys did, and your contribution to my efforts! I know you guys are busy too. I work better With. ... and this has GOTTA get done, and I'm not making it happen on my own, so... thanks gobs for your help. I haven't heard from you, so I'm wondering if you guys're ok -- whatchafeelin'? Unfortunately, we have to use their outline, and we have a first attempt at describing the project. However, since I wrote it, I've realized the scope is really about making a foundational shift in human consciousness, so I think the wording needs to scraped and started over to grasp the enormity of what's possible with EQ. Let's build it in steps. By tomorrow, I'll come up with a few bullet points under each of their outline headings and send it to you for input, ok? thx. --- http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQforAll.doc http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQResearch_20120716.doc - 07:07 Ken Haberman, VC Hi Ken, Glad you're on a roll! If we learn how to make ourselves successful, we can help others do the same. There's a very rough draft of my project outline at the first link below. The second link is my collection of quantifiable, EQ-related data and findings. I want to get across the enormity of what's possible with EQ, if we take steps to achieve the dream. http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQforAll.doc http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQResearch_20120716.doc Any input would be appreciated. Thanks much. - Matt --- to wake up pkp --- phone msgs last night Ricci doc, hard time dealing email on class in Nov. congrats xSQL Server 7:42 x 8478747081 x331 --- 1SC 23 ARs Name Msgs Emails $3.3M Club 1 2 0 2 YES View Test Edit Add Message Delete 100 EQ Lessons in 100 Days 102 737 100 EQ Quotes in 100 Days 101 452 2GetHelp MSN Welcome 4 159 2GH R&D Team 1 0 7 Steps to Increase your EQ 9 17 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) 1 30 A Course About People 1 18 Call for Partners 1 3 EQ-101 Newsletter 1 208 EQRocks Family Lifetime Membership 0 2 EucOrders 3 765 EucProspects 3 0 Family Early Bird List 0 2 JoinEzine 1 92 ND NewGrad Welcome! 1 16 NewOrders 1 4 PepsiCommunityDailyReminders 15 3 Perennial Positivity 1 0 ProviderWelcome 2 1 Quotes 4 Life 367 21 Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions 10 263 Edit Add Message Delete Y24U 366 7 --- 10:27 Yay. Thanks, Melinda, for forgiving my uncertainty. I am trying to do sooo many things at once, and it's sooo flippin' important, and I have failed many times to make things happen the way I wanted. I want to talk more about the redesign of EQRocks. I don't like it the way it is, as I want it to be more solution-based selling. Rather than listing what we have, we list what the customer might need (help, support, anger mgt, codependence, work issues, emergency, etc.) In our call today, let's brainstorm what we could do with the site, including what you would do, if you could do it however you wanted. The funnel is important... but more important is that they can go from clueless to clueful... how do we help move them from ignorance to enlightenment? I'd love to discuss our options! So, yes, let's roll. I'll get you a sample of the big log file I mentioned. At the top, are the Categories I have come up with so far, with more to be added as we go. Here's EQRocks: - Login: http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-login.php MattRocks / 2gethelp - Problem: Try add or edit a post. The All in One SEO pack, on mine, seems to be covering the subject and body text fields. Does that happen for you, as well? 1SC http://1shoppingcart.com/ 2gethelp.org / 2gethelp Talk to you in a bit. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Getting Started ... From: Melinda Janicki Date: Fri, August 03, 2012 2:47 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hello Matt: So glad to have you and serve you through OnDemand Virtual Services! I am really excited to get started. For the next steps can you please send me the following: -your logins (specifically wordpress for EQ Rocks & 1SC) -the document containing the content you want us to organize -anything you would like me to know or see before our funnel discussion That should do it! I look forward to speaking with you on Tuesday 8/7 at 2 PM EASTERN. Here is my conference line for that call so we can record it: 1 (218) 339-2626 ACCESS CODE 629-6811 --- -To Your Continued Success- Melinda Melinda Janicki, Outsourced Web Project Manager, Internet Growth Expert & Online Marketing Strategist >> recommendations resources live feed community --- you look very nice n was in facebook n you came along sorry don't want to bother you 10:31 am no bother! I am nice. I go out of my way to be nice. I teach nice, so I try to live nice. positive, loving, trusting... that kinda thing not stupid or naive... still strong and alert... but also gentle, and nice... on purpose. --- 52 on W2 SQL Server, Excel, Sharepoint --- Subject: RE: FW: Matt Perelstein Offer Letter From: "Wright, Josh" Date: Tue, August 07, 2012 10:43 am To: Hi Matt, Everything is on track. I actually spoke with Daisy this morning and gave her your e-mail to follow up with you. Please let me know if she does not reach out to you by EOD. Thanks. Josh Wright 415-228-2246 --- fB-NDG got the job in Sf (and it's a real job, with benefits and all, not just a temp job). Starts Aug. 20. feels good. thx for ya'll's support! 10, 10! --- 11: Melinda (R6) just design the site - 1SC - EQRocks formatting - Wishlist Member - EQRocks post problem High content - this is what you need to know - you can expand that - options to move on and not just reading info on the site - sidebar, option should be higher - collecting emails is important part of the flow you have all the elements, it's about having them attach to each other opportunity to take it to the next level mini-courses 7 steps 101 lessons 101 quotes quotes 4 life quotes 4 life remove, then relaunch it later family PDfs audios video icons are more visually appealing organizing content for user global newsletter, what's new need ebook if you're the leader, must be from you. directly from me all social media up top remove family, for now make each item for sale, but if you join, it's all free! With a value build a sitemap! confidential do Ebook! site map, Monday >> PDfs send Google Analytics login info text file list of assets! --- 12 - 4:10 MSCV - editing Show #1 4:20 - 5ish Project Sanctuary to load TRO creator onto server \PSServ2\Public Export/Import TROs, one at a time, to server data to \Essentialformsdata backup to \Essentialformsdata\backup shortcuts on PKPs two pc's and Diana Knoll's in back and front --- 7:32 Wow... good one... esp. for Paula and I, as we escalate, quickly! How are you and Linda getting along? Must be very "interesting" to a) move in together, b) in her place, c) both of you facing physical challenges, and d) then move in AGAIN at your place! Hope you guy's high EQ is working well! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Stop Escalating Conflict! From: "Larry" Date: Tue, August 07, 2012 10:22 am To: "Larry" Stop Escalating Conflict! By Dr. Margaret Paul August 06, 2012 Do you get into fights that turn ugly as the conflict escalates? Discover how to stop doing this. A participant in one of my webinars asked: "Is there any way to resolve conflict if you have two 'escalating' personalities trying to solve a problem? In other words, how do you resolve conflict between two very strong willed, always-right personalities, who tend to escalate with every attempt at solving conflict?" There is a hard and fast rule about resolving conflict that most people find hard to remember: You cannot resolve conflict unless both people are open to learning. As long as each person is trying to be right, win, or at least not lose, no new learning can take place. Conflict resolves when new learning occurs due to both people being open to learning about themselves and each other. What to do When the Conflict is Escalating It is actually not hard to stop conflicts from escalating; the challenge is remembering to do it. This is hard to remember because, in conflict, often the fight or flight mechanism is activated. If both people involved tend to fight rather than flee, they will generally go on automatic pilot to win. When the stress response - the fight or flight mechanism - is activated, blood leaves the brain and goes into the arms and legs to enhance the ability to fight or flee You stop thinking well when your focus is on winning the fight. You are likely to say and do things that you would not ordinarily say or do - which, of course, escalates the fight. What to do? What you need to remember to do is to disengage the moment the fight starts to escalate. If you wait too long, you will be in the throes of the stress response. Once your amygdala - the survival part of the brain that activates fight or flight - takes over, it is VERY hard to stop. You both are like runaway trains, trying everything you can to win or not lose. That’s when things can get very ugly. If you disengage the moment the fight starts to escalate, then you can cool off, get your brain back online, and do an Inner Bonding process to see what has gotten triggered in you. You can move into compassion for yourself, make sure you are not taking the other person's words and behavior personally, allow your sadness, loneliness, heartache and helplessness over the other person's behavior to move through you, and then address what is really going on with you. Why do you need to win? What are you trying to control? What are you afraid of? What are you trying to avoid? These are some of the questions you can ask yourself during your Inner Bonding process. When to Resolve the Conflict Once you understand your part of the conflict and you feel open hearted and open to learning, you can approach the other person to see if he or she is also ready to learn. If not, then wait. If he or she is open, then the two of you can each share what you've learned in your Inner Bonding process and explore what needs to happen for each of you to feel resolved. This is a wonderful, intimate process that can happen only when both people are open to learning. If the other person does not open to learning, then you need to let go of trying to resolve the issue between you. You can then do an Inner Bonding process to understand what is in your highest good, given that the other person is not available to resolve the issue. In order to do this, you need to completely accept that you are helpless over getting the other person to open, which is a big challenge for many people. Even though resolving the issue for yourself is not always ideal, it is far better than the ugliness that often occurs when two people escalate a conflict. --- 29 WAYS TO GUARANTEE THAT YOU GET BETTER RESULTS. Want better results? http://danwaldschmidt.com/2012/08/attitude/27-ways-to-guarantee-you-get-better-results?goback=%2Egde_75300_member_143568924 You’re not alone. If you are like a lot of others around you, you might not be sure what to do in order to get better results. You’re confused and frustrated by things happening to you. Angry at everything that doesn’t seem to be working. Here are a few answers for you: You’ll get better results when you try harder. You’ll get better results when you stop making excuses. You’ll get better results when you care more about others. You’ll get better results when you ask for help. You’ll get better results when you doubt less. You’ll get better results when you stop being petty. You’ll get better results when you start being creative. You’ll get better results when you put together a better plan. You’ll get better results when you learn something new. You’ll get better results when you deny yourself immediate gratification. You’ll get better results when you build a team to conquer with you. You’ll get better results when you stop letting fear call the shots. You’ll get better results when you listen for answers. You’ll get better results when take time to be inspired. You’ll get better results when you ignore the criticism of the crowd. You’ll get better results when you fight through the pain. You’ll get better results when you have a better attitude. You’ll get better results when you aren’t afraid of failure. You’ll get better results when you just try one more time. You’ll get better results when you understand what is important to other people. You’ll get better results when stop believing everything you hear. You’ll get better results when you control whats in your mind. You’ll get better results when you say “Thank You” and “T’m Sorry” more. You’ll get better results when you stop taking yourself out of the game. You’ll get better results when you tough it out a little more. You’ll get better results when you believe what you’re doing is worth it. You’ll get better results when you’re tired of losing all the time. You’ll get better results when you quit holding back and go “all in”. You’ll get better results when you stop being so damn selfish. Pick one. Try a few. You’ll be surprised at the difference. The secret to getting better results is simply to do whatever it takes to improve. To adapt. To learn. To grow. To try a little bit harder each day. And while that doesn’t come easily, the results you’ll get are worth the struggle. What’s stopping you from getting better results? --- 8:42 Hi. THANKS, guys!! Yes, it's the same Sf job, Michelle, yet different. It was supposed to be temp-to-perm, where they "try me out" for some months first, but they wanted to hire me straight away... even offered a sign-on bonus, bennies, and 10 days of vacation in 2012, 20 next year! Did I tell you I found a place to stay in San Rafael? I'll park my car there and take the bus down 101, across the Golden Gate to downtown (40 min). I've decided to make the best of the commute and living away from home part-time (besides, I gotta stay a year or I'll have to re-pay the sign-on bonus) and keep working toward my goal/dream of bringing EQ to the world, full-time. --- Ricci wants to review Special I'd like to bring my oldest daughter, Jenna (Genevieve) seizures, emotional, meds, molested $299 student $99 for Ricci heart patients, after: angry and mean appreciative don't care at all lose short-term memory Dr. Gregory Richards, loved him love job and people! --- Hi Matt, First off, congratulations on your new job in SF! We’re doing well. We don’t know how we’re feeling. Um, I guess we’re feeling worried that we might say something unhelpful or unintentionally hurtful. We know how it feels to have our work critiqued and edited, especially when we have spent a good deal of time and emotion putting it together. It’s a vulnerable place to be. How are you feeling? With regards to your comments on the outline, we did check out the link you sent us. The institution offering these grants provided a prompt, which specifies what information they require, but they did not provide an outline. Lucky for us, proposal outlines are actually pretty uniform in construction. Nykia has done proposals for research grants in the past, so she’s seen the format. Just to initiate you, see this link[1] for writing business proposals. The most important aspect I think is the three steps: 1) Outline. 2) Write. 3) Edit. For a specific grant proposal, we’d refer to this link[2] as a starting place. The reason we’re harping on the outline is for two reasons: 1) it helps organize your big ideas into an easily digestible and concise paper (which we need since we only have three pages), and 2) because that’s the easiest way to steer the document collectively. It allows us all to agree on what it is we want and need to say before putting in the big effort to write it. Once we write it, we can then assess whether the text is doing what we wanted in our outline. It’s our map. Cheers, Nykia and Shane D-R [1]: http://blog.deiricmccann.com/2011/04/proposal-outline/ [2]: http://teachers.net/archive/grants.html - 9:34 Hey guys... thanks for the note. I feel better after hearing from you! Don't worry about hurting my feelings... as long as we talk about the document, and not personal attacks (which I can't imagine any of us doing), then I want it to be the very best it can be, so please say what's what and I will do the same. The app instructions say that we need only apply once, know what I mean? Are you double-triple sure/positive that we don't have to use their outline?!? I was quite sure we did, and have been writing that way since the beginning. I read "preparing a proposal outline" (thx), but they're talking about an open-ended business proposal, not a standardized foundation app, right? Seems to me that we should stick to their headings, just to be safe... no? (but, I've never done this before, so I'll take your advice). It would be nice to have our own map, as long as we answer all their questions. Whatchathink? Thanks! - Matt --- f --- ------------ mcp ------------- If you correct your mind, and your heart, the rest of your life will fall into place. - Lao Tzu --- 2:10 doing a Norton 360 Backup set had to delete the last one, Uploading RobertRedfordAsks4Eucs.mp4 (108Mb) to YouTube http://youtu.be/u_HSyTlo2hU (94 min remaining) --- 2:19 LI-EIN My comments: - Can emotions be 'fixed'? This implies that they are 'broken', which they are not. Yet they can be stuffed, and neglected, and hidden, and covered, and misdirected... so they can be relieved, and released, and respected, and changed, from negative to positive, fairly easily. - Do 1-in-4 live in chronic shame? Probably, and (I can attest that) this does lead to disconnectedness, and feeling less-than, and unworthy, and alone, and apart, and would certainly lead to feeling like no one is close enough to share a problem with. - Can an "online connection fulfill the underlying feeling of a deficit of connectedness." After running online groups for years, I say yes, they can -- especially after an initial face-to-face meeting, and when accompanied by periodic live phone calls -- a (predominately) online connection can create a very real sense of family and love. - "In some ways, it allows a false sense of intimacy and connection". Is there a 'real sense of intimacy'? I someone says they care, they probably care. They may not be willing to go any further to 'prove' they care, but if they say they care, it seems ok to take them that their word and 'feel' connected and intimate with that person... even from across the world! Why not? - I observation has been that, as people advance their level of EQ, and they themselves feel more connected, they tend to Want to give, to connect, to reach out to others, to bring more love into their lives and the world (like most in this group). If people are shown How to care -- wisely, safely, clearly and honestly -- they tend to find ways to love that work for themselves and others around them. - I believe we can change/save lives by promoting and teaching EQ. --- Emotions are like opinions, everyone has them and everyone is entilted to them. It is up to us to accept them as such. --- Mff Thank you's eblast draft f --- 3:03 Euc Testimonial I got my order and Bella, my Eclectus parrot, LOVES them!!! So far she prefers the dried version. I leave the fresh leaves out in her cage and by day 2 she is having a BLAST!!! And she loves the twigs!!! I will be ordering more as she gets close to running out. LaWanda --- ----------- mcp ----------- The EQ Serenity Prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." ----------- mcp ----------- "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller --- Orders (most all morning- 17x with 3-5's and 2-2's) lockin' Bella in as she's very much in heat right now... keeping Buddy dog away from her lunch JKM, about 45 min. a number of small ixes >> bring Office CD over to load on Marie's PC >> bring ND brochure, website, etc. gas $33, up 10 cents/gal :( farmer's market, tomatoes, jalepeno, walla-walla onion, small potatoes, eggplant, big Zuch --- 8.9 00:01 He who has the best presentation wins. That's true for politicians, religious leaders, advertising agencies, scientists, teachers, corporations, and of course sales people. "The geat blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it." - Seneca --- Euc testimonial (sort of) Title: Robert Redford Asks for Eucalyptus Leaves http://youtu.be/u_HSyTlo2hU Description: In "Electric Horseman", Robert Redford steals a $12M horse because he believed the horse was being treated badly in favor of capitalism. In order to heal the horse, RR, under cover, buys a bunch of Eucalyptus leaves in tea bags. Here's the interaction... Tags: Eucalyptus, fresh eucalyptus, eucalyptus leaves, Robert Redford, healing --- snooze... --- 05:07 Hi Jay, Thanks for thinking of me. This looks like a pretty straight-forward contract and it seems win-able. I have been offered a job with a company in San Francisco, but it's hasn't happened yet, so I would be glad to help get this one with you. If we were to win it, and I was no longer available, it would be easy enough to replace me on this one. Let me know if that's a good idea or not. Thanks again. Hope things are going well. - Matt --- 5:12 Gwen Hi. Here's another testimonial (below) and another pic. Also, I filmed this just for fun and loaded it on YouTube. Would you add it somewhere (maybe on the testimonials page, or even at the bottom o the home page)? http://youtu.be/u_HSyTlo2hU Thanks. How'z the baby?? - Matt --- 05:19 LI-EIN Quotes "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller The EQ Serenity Prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." I can only give my best to others when I am in touch with the best in myself. - Debby Rising --- The Power of Negative Thinking http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/the-positive-power-of-negative-thinking.html?_r=1 LAST month, in San Jose, Calif., 21 people were treated for burns after walking barefoot over hot coals as part of an event called Unleash the Power Within, starring the motivational speaker Tony Robbins. --- LI-EIN Rebecca O'Donnell • When I discovered I wasn't the garbage I'd always been told I was, when I actually changed my own mindset of self-hatred, everything changed forever. Life is now astonishingly and surprisingly wonderful. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you're not crippled by an insecurity addiction. --- Insights with Dr. Walt - Hurricanes in History http://mendocoasttv.org/DRWaltHurricanesinHistory.html#featured --- 05:49 Reboot (clean) nothing's working on internet 192 is fine, force ranging worked ?? Drive C, Properties (uncheck) Allow files on this drive to have contents indexed in addition to file properties Just C:? no, all (maybe it will speed up the chug-chuggin' on C:) ?thousands of log files called C:\Program files\...\ReportServerService__mm_dd_yyyy_xx_xx_xx.log C: 237 GB used, 49.3 GB free but showing: C:\$Recycle.Bin Config.msi MSOCache System Volume Information SYSTEM.SAV etc. darn... lost over 1/2 hour (so far!) 06:25 calling HughesNet, 5-15 min wait time... --- , Write to Elizabeth D-R Outline to Nykia/Shane Assets List to Melinda YouTube videos http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 mini-courses 7 steps 101 lessons 101 quotes quotes 4 life quotes 4 life remove, then relaunch it later family PDfs audios video do Ebook! site map, Monday >> PDfs send Google Analytics login info eqrocks.com@gmail.com / 2gh text file list of assets! Left-brain/right-brain graphics HughesNet, it's on their end! Case #32257218 --- D_R list of assets! Me on Facebook (1,149 friends): http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein Me on Twitter (1,839 followers): http://twitter.com/MattPerelstein Me on LinkedIn (415 connections, 471 followers!): http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein EQRocks! http://www.EQRocks.com EQRocks on Twitter: (888 tweets, 3016 following, 2749 followers) https://twitter.com/#!/eqrockseqheals EQRocks on Facebook: (50x) https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks EQ YouTube channel (46 videos, 25 Subscribers, 8,514 Views): http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 EQ Lessons and Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (free) EQ Blog (>800 posts): http://www.EQ-101.com (old format, same posts: http://2gethelp.blogs.com/) FB: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 1,718 members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ LinkedIn: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 41,625 members): http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 2GetHelp non-profit: http://www.2GetHelp.org Jill Bolte-Taylor on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU EQRocks on Scoop.it (414 views) http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks EQRocksEQHeals on YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/EQRocksEQHeals 'Got Feelings' on YouTube (270x): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82czU-vpAIE (0:17) Emotional Literacy in kids Feel.org video (3:04) http://www.youtube.com/v/_tLQd4PpGRg ND/EQ YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 Tags: EQ, success, emotions, emotional intelligence, emotional healing, New Directions workshop Personal Interviews: Karen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH8YRlHaLnY Sheila: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PvlLIOubQs Dorian: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpmGoyUBOJQ Susan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4d727gVhyg Eric: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQYwcZ9qwwY Sharon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsW98wvLwiU Larry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPnLk6FBZsU Larry1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S80Ie6mqPU Larry2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpUxYdGyYpA Christina: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbmOxhPl1sg Michele: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny2dd5ASSx0 (14:55) Michele1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCSM1bbB2V4 Dave/Richard/MNB vets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFX5I4Z5JWA (14:58) Troy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qltvWj5bno4 RichardJoAnn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSSRzHxqeRg ND_ProVideoClips1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLsGSAHJ7qk ND_ProVideoClips2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ipf8EgcKno Anger Interview (Tina and MCP) http://www.eqrocks.com/anger-is-misunderstood/ 1-Minute Interviews Karen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0KjCFZ-_OE(1:00) Mike White http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HekWCtadMQ (0:42) Kathy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrsHnkOTmzs (0:24) Tom Pope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eUcNSYLTpc (0:45) Larry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXSobgiL7DE (1:00) Sue Roth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYXA_BUdrvg (0:42) >> fTP L/R-brain graphics --- 09:09 PP = 683 -171 USPS +2 orders +500 MoneyPak AP-70F344468L6266151 PP = 1183 (better) --- Therapy helps... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!! haha (and can be more effective!) --- Yeah, sorry, here are your answers, in bold below... At this point, I think we better make tomorrow's taping just 1 show, not 2. I still hope 2 do 2 on Tuesday @ 2. 2morrow, 2PM, 2 people, Show2, 28:30 1st showing, Wed, 5pm correct? My wife, Paula Perelstein (note spelling) will be joining me in the studio. We'll be discussing Emotional Healing, which is pretty amazing stuff. I will probably cry at least once... please keep rollin'. Thanks. feel free to call if that would help. - Matt 962-9006 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: Friday and . . . From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Thu, August 09, 2012 9:07 am To: Matt Pearlstein I thought I better send this again since I hadn't heard from you Begin forwarded message: From: Elizabeth Swenson Subject: Friday and . . . Date: August 8, 2012 8:01:26 AM PDT To: Matt Pearlstein Hi Matt, I am writing to check with you about the Friday shoot and to go over costs for first show. On Friday, are you planning to do one show or two. We had talked about two, but wanting to confirm. At this point, I think we better make tomorrow's taping just 1 show, not 2. I still hope 2 do 2 on Tuesday @ 2. I am hoping we can finish the first show today and so we need to know as soon as possible this morning what you want to be said at end of show. WE will have a graphic that says produced using the facilities and equipment of MCTV. I imagine you want something about how to contact the organization, website, email,etc. I'll send a slide. I also want to make sure you are happy with the graphic work Mateo did on title and lower thirds. I couldn't tell if you liked or not. We want you to be happy so please if you are not liking the graphics let us know. Yes, I'm very happy with Mateo's skills, speed and results. I also want to go over the costs of the first show - which is quite a bit higher than any of us expected - the first show is always more, but in this case the editing needed accounts for most of the additional costs. I am also including below what I think the future shows will cost. understood. To be clear I haven't charged for my time (except when actually switching during the show), or any of the time and cost planning the set, making the TV mask, etc., 2.5 hours set up - one person= 2.5hrs .75 x 3 staff = 2.5 hours 6 - 7 hrs editing - one person 1.5 hour graphics: title, desk graphic, lower third, 2.5 hours with you this afternoon, 2-3 hours slides insertion/ final clean up/DVD. So it comes to 11 -12 hours @ $30 = $330 to $360. That's still about $11/hour for professional studio time, which seems quite reasonable to me. I am hoping we'll be able to finish the show today, and hoping that you can pay for it on Friday- I will have an invoice once I know the final time. The way this account is setup, thru PayPal, I can either 'send' you the money or use a debit card to pay... your choice. Tomorrow. For the future shows - if doing two at a time, and not having to edit beyond basically inserting slides and a little cleanup, it will take 5 to 6 hours people-hours per show and cost $150-$180 per show. If doing one show only when in studio the cost would end up at $210 to $250 per show if editing minimal. Set up: is pretty much the same whether doing one show or two: 1.5 hour, one person We used three people doing production on the first show - I think we can cut to 2 people. Editing time if just inserting slides and a tiny bit of clean up should be about 3 hours per show excellent! thanks for keeping the costs down. I want to get this off to you before go to appointment this morning, but also I plan to make a slide graphic to show you what I am thinking will work better for the slides in future shows. thank for the example slides. I'll make the ones for tomorrow much larger font, with white on blue. Mateo took what I did and worked them in nicely! Elizabeth --- I still have 1 more day to name the EQ-101 show... other ideas? The powerpoint slides are attached... the opening slide can still be changed and it needs a closing slide to announce the Sept. 14 fort bragg ND, and the Nov. 2 fresno ND. So, 2 of us (Paula and I) are doing Show2, at 2, 2morrow on Emotional Healing (EMFB, 3 steps to emotional health, 7 steps processing negative emotions, etc.). What 2 call it, is the question... EQ-101_Class1_EQBasics_v04.pptx --- 11-1pm Importing Ticket info into DB Did donors >> do Concerts (events), requires code and seats? (Brian's checking re: export) --- The Rules Of Social Media http://www.fastcompany.com/3000050/rules-social-media --- 4:45 >> Print pictures using Microsoft Office Picture Manager Edit, in MS Paint --- melinda --- 6:34 LI-EIN Don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness. --- stuffed zuchinni and sausage and stuffing for dinner - yum! some Olympics some show, pause some more Olympics women's soccer won gold, women's water polo, decathalon artistic gymnastics, with ball or hula hoop... wow! marathon swimming, 10K in 2 hours (!), only USA woman won silver still keeping doggies cooped up --- 02:52 "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Our worth of being on the planet at this time cannot be judged as we are all worthy and essential to being here now. imagination is your greatest gift. Do not be afraid to use it. Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen with our eyes but felt with our heart. --- 03:12 Rima Chaturvedi good afternoon sir i need ur help 26 minutes agoMatt Perelstein oh no. what's up? 25 minutes agoRima Chaturvedi sir do you think that if there are fluctuations in power/current system in home one can have effect on human body..?? 23 minutes agoMatt Perelstein no sure. I guess it's possible. are you feeling funny, physically? 22 minutes agoRima Chaturvedi no i was actually sleeping and felt that something or someone is sucking my left hand's vein blood i again ate the food and now i m feeling ok only music can help me,i know.. 2 minutes agoMatt Perelstein ouch. visualize fighting back... not allowing anything to be sucked from you... taking charge. the visual popped into your head, now it's yours, so finish the story... and make it come out the way you want/feel good about the visual popped into your head, now it's yours, so finish the story... and make it come out the way you want/feel good about about a minute agoRima Chaturvedi ok sir..that's the right thing now... yes sir.. 2 seconds agoMatt Perelstein our brain doesn't really know the dif between real and imagined... and esp. can't tell if a pic popped in, or we consciously created it. Therefore you can make/change/enhance/soften/create whatever pics you want to, and your brain will probably 'buy it' --- 03:19 LI-EIN I feel, therefore I am. Let's start using the tags #EQ and #EmotionalIntelligence in our tweets! Confusion, misery, enlightenment, joy, give, be! Confused, Miserable, Enlightened, Freedom, Give, Be! --- f F --- 04:03 Hi Lisa, Could I borrow your awesome wordsmithing talents for a sec? I'm creating a video series on the local cable channel, doing half-hour shows to teach Emotional Intelligence (EQ), but I can't think of a cool name for the series. So far, I have: EQ-101: The Art and Science of Emotional Mastery but, I'll bet you can do better. Any ideas? Thanks much! hope you're well. - Matt www.EQRocks.com www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com --- 04:08 >> Nykia and Shane, graphic(s)? Hey, do you think it's appropriate to include any graphics/visuals in the 3-page document? If so, I was thinking of using Maslow's hierarchy, and maybe EMFB, and perhaps one more. whatchathink? FYI: Here's the PPT I used as an outline for EQ-101, Show 1. EQ-101_Class1_EQBasics_v04a.pptx (437KB) --- 04:20 damn it, Karen... sorry. My guess is that him being selected over you had nothing to do with you... more that they wanted a guy, or he had the hours available they wanted, or was there first, or something else... but probably NOT 'cause of anything about you, or your experience. CLEARLY, you have some of the most awesome experience someone COULD have... working directly helping clients all day long, doing 20 years of NDs, being a mom and gramma, and all you've been through and successfully healed... it were up to me, I'd hire you in a Second to do counseling! I hear your frustration, and I join you in that dept. Apparently, it's not our time, just yet. Let's TRY to be patient, and not take it all too seriously, shall we? Hang in there. --- 04:32 We are trying to finish up the ND brochure and we need your input, please... What was the most important lesson you learned from ND? (these ALL work for me!) - I realized I can manage my own thoughts, feelings and behaviours - I feel more in control of my life - I connect better with others - I like myself more - I am through being a victim! - I choose to feel ALIVE! --- 04:38 The Rules Of Social Media BY FAST COMPANY STAFF | AUGUST 8, 2012 http://www.fastcompany.com/3000050/rules-social-media As part of our social media roadmap in the September 2012 issue of Fast Company, we asked social media's savviest users about their best practices. Use this guide to share their rules, then add yours, and we'll keep charting a course through this rocky terrain. If all you do is respond to complaints, that's all people will send you. @lebrun Stop & Ask: Would an ACTUAL person talk that way? @heyitsnoah Everyone says they don't want to be marketed to. Really, they just don't want to be talked down to. @Starzan The consumer is out for himself, not for you. @aweinreich As monetization attempts go up, consumer experience goes down. @bopeabody Don't try to be clever, be clever. Wally Petersen, @Draftfcb Social is 24/7, not a one-time stunt. @dwertheimer ALWAYS write back. @pdavison Have an ROI. Have an ROI. Have an ROI. @erinclaire People would rather talk to 'Comcast Melissa' than 'Comcast'. @kipwetzel Solve problems for people who talk about you, even if they don't address you. @HiltonWorldwide Not everything will work, and that's fine. @ChloeS Embrace negative content about your brand. @bazaarbrett Everyone's an influencer. @duncanjwatts If fans distribute your content without your permission, offer to help. @marose1025 It's okay to drive people to your site instead of Facebook's. @missrogue Update your page, or delete it. @gomattymo Don't make people do X, Y, then Z. Stick with X. @alexiskold Last year: Pump out content. This year: Optimize content. @Chris_DeWolfe Become BFFs with your Facebook reps. @grahamkahr Social media doesn't exist in a vacuum. Make traditional media and social work together. @dkroy Desktop is conquered territory. Mobile is the battlefield. @boughb If you don't see financial results, you wasted your money. @BJMendelson People fight for their privacy. @Caterina The only way to scale word of mouth: paid advertising. @christuff Have a crisis plan. @Ekaterina Don't use ads to prop up boring content. Use ads to accelerate successful content. @jeffwidman Forget individuals. You're creating content that encourages groups to form. @peretti People don't want to shop where they socialize. @eKristaGarcia Contests and sweepstakes are fine, if you want to encourage short relationships. @McProulx People care what you had for breakfast--if you're a food brand. @natanyap Pinterest works. @ReggieBradford Your fans own your brand. @scotthudler If you're bored by social media, it's because you're trying to get more value than you create. @timoreilly Think past vanity metrics like followers. @ZacMoffatt It's an organism, not a process. Michael Lebowitz, @bigspaceship --- EQ-101, Show2 Emotional Healing with EQ EMFB 3 steps to emotional health 7 steps to processing negative emotions imagine human affection connection we can do better let's go! let's band together. it's a movement an energy a foundational shift in human consciousness I want to lead, but you're the worst follower I can imagine, for me. ignore the positive, accentuate the negative and if I ask you not to do that, you get very defensive and justify your beh. thus continuing it, unabated. I must lead with a bit of anger. if it's all airy-fairy stuff, then it's probably not interesting. follow me. follow EQ. lead with EQ. lead with love, compassion, hope, pride, power, direction. or follow, with heart, and mind, and positive energy, and commitment and joy. and get love, and closeness, and intimacy, and belonging, and purpose, and a life. "get a life" means you haven't seen what I have seen check out these clips o people sharing what it REALLY eels like to feel, for real. if you ain't been there, you don't really know yourself very well. not way deep down, to the depth of your soul. what do you REALLY care about? what are the MOST IMPORTANT things/people/ideas TO YOU? What matters? (something, I hope. If not, that's called depression, and it's covered by anger, and it's unleashable, resolvable, powerful.) how can you be ALL that you can be, when you are DENYing a big part of WHO YOU ARE, and how you got to be who you be. please, do us all a favor (esp. you). take a few minutes to sit quietly and go back in your mind, to when you were little, just a kid. picture yourself back then, how you looked, where you lived, your mom and dad, from the kids' POV. and see how little you felt back then. did he/she feel wanted? important? loved? Now have little you meet big you, as you are now, and have them get to know each other. boom, now you both have a friend, from here on. How does that relate Befriend your inner child, and neither will feel alone, again! Befriend yourself. Empathy comes from within, first. a. We teach kids how EQ works and incorporate it into their world/environment. b. We make groups of teens/young adults/young-hearted adults, in all dif. ways, to help them reach out and connect, sooner, faster, deeper, yet wiser, and much more consciously. c. Parenting classes they say that you can't learn this in books, we can help people get on a MUCH better path than them continuing to do it cluelessly. Where's their EQ? is the question. Positive EQ is the answer. - I should copywrite these terms... or just popularize 'em, and let 'em be. better energy that way, - I have a bunch of wisdom I haven't used yet. I am consciously being negative about the job situation. it's ok. stop it. get on with it. you're whining, hoping someone will reach out and fix it. that's why you're so set on 'being discovered'... 'cause that means someone else is in charge. and will 'take care' of me/biz/us. true. wimpy, yet necessary, too. I work every waking moment I can, plus some. but I feel healthy, and happy, and I can still kick your a$$ in racquetball, or skiing, or rugby. but, in 10 days, I take on a new life. actually, I was given a 4 day (so far) reprieve bec. I do not have a contract, with IMS. and I'm still looking (well, keeping my options open). (dumb idea with mike lema... hero... too soon. make sure, first, please) I speak politely to myself. I never call myself names, except for what's real. I am fat. I am blubbery, even. I am aware o that, and when I'm ready to do something about it, I will. I am not on a diet. I try, sometimes, to cut down, but I am currently giving myself this freedom. I am aware of the potential risks and consequences. speak your truth, at least to yourself. quit complaining and go live your dream, whatever that entails. get off the coach and go help somebody -- you'll both win! it's called having a 'servant's heart', and it's a beautiful thing! it's just about putting someone else's needs ahead of your own, for awhile. consciously, givingly, wisely, what I see in her eyes, are my eyes I would react much like she reacts. like her, I can be invasive with my face... I love to touch my face to skin. like her, I lean way into a touch or caress... mmmmm...... 3 Steps to Getting a Life! Get a Clue: Wake up to your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. They're yours, own them. Get a Grip: Learn about yourself. Take a journey of discovery back to your childhood to understand and manage the outcomes of his childhood belief systems. Discover you, understand you, accept you, manage you, balance you, power yourself to make a life worth living! Get a Life: Use EQ to improve your life, and the lives of those you love... and everyone wins! How to Get a Life! wow. ok, we HAVE the BS we must examine our own BS BS is the key, says Paula. right-o. let's focus there. so, we're encouraging people Agenda Intro Homework review 10 reasons EQ is super-cool talk about #4 today, 'cause that's where our experience is. EQ Emotional Healing Processing Negative feelings into Positives Negative feelings (see articles on About.com, etc.) I think it helps to boil it all down to just 3 main emotions fear anger sadness if you can handle those 3, you'll be able to handle anything life throws at you. If you don't, We make decisions to ACT, based on what we Think and what we feel. However, we THINK that what we Think takes presedence, but there's more to it. What we fEEL is also critical to every decision, whether we realize it or not. I consciously try to use the smallest words I can. no offense, I'm certainly not talking down to anybody... I just want it to be simple, and clear, and easy to comprende, comprende? if I find that something I'm trying to explain is hard to explain, or lengthy, or takes big words, that means I haven't thot it thru enough, and it needs work. I believe I am a behaviouralist. What we do is driven by what we think and feel. let's understand and manage what we think and feel. we have 3 main controls in our cockpit. - thoughts they're runnin', like an engine that never shuts off, and some thots are in our control, and some ain't. we can 'make ourselves' think about certain things... we do it all day long at work, and at school. but then there's the thots behind the thots, that we have less control over. we can't necessarily 'control' them, but we can certainly influence them, sometimes quite a lot! Thoughts effect feelings feelings effect thoughts both effect behaviours. The effect on our affect has been effective. Thoughts Conscious, that we can control, and make ourselves 'think about work' concentration, focus, direction, environment, do biz behaviours, which require thinking/planning/focus Unconscious, quieter, deeper, more generalized, cautionary, often in the voice of the child who originated/cemented the BS. there's a whole layer of thought called BS, Belief Systems >> do graphic that underlies all thought triggers: veterans molest child in hospital my dad DOVE across the bed to cover me to avoid the breaking glass >> ask him about this sometime. --- 05:49 How Should I Deal With Negative Emotions? By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide Updated July 01, 2012 ------------ mcp ------------- Understand your Emotions Change what you can Find an outlet. How Should I Deal With Negative Emotions? By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide Updated July 01, 2012 About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board See More About:emotional stressangerruminationcoping with emotionscoping with stress Photo from iStockPhoto.com Ads Life Change Happen? Check Individual Health Plan Rates- Low Cost Coverage. Apply Now! www.Anthem.com 5 Signs of Depression These 5 Signs of Depression Will Shock You. See The Causes Now! Depression.DailyLife.com/5-Signs (5) Signs Of Depression These 5 Symptoms Of Depression Will Shock You. See The Causes Now. knowwhatsbest.com How to Stop Your Divorce There are 7 Secrets - Get 'em Free. Alternative to Marriage Counseling Marriagemax.com/Free-Help Natural Anxiety Relief Fast, Effective Anxiety Relief and No Negative Side Effects: Anxietin® Anxietin-for-Anxiety.HelloLife.net Question: How Should I Deal With Negative Emotions? "Sometimes I feel overcome with negative emotions, feelings of hurt, anger or frustration. I’ve heard that it isn’t good to "stuff my feelings," but I also don’t want to dwell on these negative feelings. How should I deal with these negative emotions in a healthy way?" Answer: You are right that ignoring feelings (such as "stuffing your anger") is not the healthiest way to deal with them. Generally speaking, that does not make them go away, but can cause them to come out in different ways. That’s because your emotions act as signals to you that what you are doing in your life is or isn’t working. If you’re feeling angry or frustrated, this can be a signal that something needs to change. If you don’t change the situations or thought patterns that are causing these uncomfortable, "red flag" emotions, you will continue to be triggered by them. Also, while you are not dealing with the emotions you are feeling, they can cause problems with your physical and emotional health. (See this article on anger problems for more.) Rumination, or the tendency to dwell on anger, resentment and other uncomfortable feelings, however, brings health consequences as well. So it’s important to listen to your emotions and then take steps to let them go. Here’s what I recommend: Understand Your Emotions. Look within and try to pinpoint the situations that are creating the stress and negative emotions in your life. Negative emotions can come from a triggering event: an overwhelming workload, for example. Negative emotions are also the result of our thoughts surrounding an event; the way we interpret what happened can alter how we experience the event and whether or not it causes stress. The key job of your emotions is to get you to see the problem, so you can make necessary changes. Change What You Can. Take what you’ve learned from my first recommendation and put it into practice. Cut down on your stress triggers, and you’ll find yourself feeling negative emotions less frequently. This could include cutting down on job stress, learning the practices of assertive communication (so you don’t feel trampled by people) and changing negative thought patterns through a process known as cognitive restructuring. Find An Outlet. Making changes in your life can cut down on negative emotions, but it won’t eliminate your stress triggers entirely. As you make changes in your life to bring about less frustration, you will also need to find healthful outlets for dealing with these emotions. Regular exercise can provide an emotional lift as well as an outlet for negative emotions. Meditation can help you find some inner "space" to work with, so your emotions don’t feel so overwhelming. Finding opportunities for having fun and getting more laughter in your life can also change your perspective and relieve stress. Find a few of these outlets, and you’ll feel less overwhelmed when negative emotions do arise. This site also has many resources for ongoing stress reduction. Give them a try, and you’ll feel less stressed and more free. Sources: Lo CS, Ho SM, Hollon SD. The Effects of Rumination and Negative Cognitive Styles on Depression: A Mediation Analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy, April, 2008. Miers AC, Rieffe C, Meerum Terwogt M, Cowan R, Linden W. The Relation Between Anger Coping Strategies, Anger Mood and Somatic Complaints in Children and Adolescents. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, August, 2007. More Resources To Clear Your Mind Meditation Mindfulness More Stress Resources Personality Tests Stress Reduction Tools Ongoing Resources for Stress Relief Ongoing Resources for Stress Reduction Free Weekly Newsletter Free E Courses Related Articles Negative Beliefs About Emotions - Coping with Negative Beliefs About Emotio... Divorce Stress - How to Deal With Divorce Stress Seeking Outlets for Emotional Expression - Parenting Children with Depressi... How To Deal With Stress, Step 3: Process Your Feelings Staying Happy - Fibromyalgia Elizabeth Scott, M.S. Stress Management Guide Sign up for My Newsletter HeadlinesForum Advertisement Stress Management Ads Stress Reduction Techniques Anger Stress Management Stress Reduction Stress Management Techniques Stress Management Tools Ads Maybe You Have Depression Learn 8 Common Symptoms To Check. You Don't Need to Feel Like This. TheMedicalManual.com Depression Symptoms Do You Have Depression? Get Info On Depression Symptoms! Local.Alot.com Why Men Fall In Love 9 Powerful Words You Can Say That Remind Him Why He Needs You. HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com 3-Minute Chakra Test Take the Free Chakra Test to Find Out Which of Your Chakras Are Weak www.ChakraHealing.com - Cognitive Restructuring for Stress Relief A Little Cognitive Restructuring Can Bring Significant Change By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide Updated November 29, 2007 http://stress.about.com/od/professionalhelp/a/Restructuring.htm Awareness is the first step Recognize your power --- 06:11 Megan LeAnne McIntyre LOL! It's OK. Yes, I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I'm due in early April. Matt Perelstein WOW!, Holy shmolies! That's so very, very cool! good 4U. I told you, I'm a little thick, sometimes! my birthday is April 5... and so was my favorite gramma's... aim for then! --- 06:28 writing to josh, again. Targeting the general public with EQ is the largest market imaginable... it applies to anyone who's ever had a thought, or a feeling... any age, any nationality, universally applicable, to all humans. Did I tell you that "What is EQ" was searched over 2.7M times last month, on Google? It's starting... Here's where I think we need for the general public - EQ Resources - Emotional Support Community - Purpose - R&D - Services - Education - Entertainment - What's new - Journaling And connect that to a network of in-person support sites around the world. We could make it a franchise operation, that could bring in millions. I've stopped thinking about tryng to sell products, I'm talking about starting a movement of social reform! We need to get funding for this project, so I can make it happen. You, and 6 seconds, are uniquely poised to make a HUGE impact on the world. I also believe the focus on the GP could dramatically improve your other services, and vice-versa. It's the next logical step for 6 seconds. I got another job, in downtown Sf. It pays well and all, and they're even offering benefits (even a sign-on bonus!) I got offered this fancy job, not 'cause I'm very smart... I'll bet my IQ is like half of yours, and Dan Goleman's, and others. But my EQ is off the charts. I'm a right-right-brainer... pure emotion sometimes... not even words. And this stuff just comes to me. I've been working in face-to-face workshops for 25 years now, helping people feel-and-release their negative feelings, and we've gotten significant results. help me write up a business plan, and we'll have someone donate the money to get us started. I'd like to head up if you'll get on board, I believe we can raise the money for my salary and much more. I don't want to take it. I just got a $5k job. that'll last us another month. let me do this, Paula. please. I'm right here, right now. so close. I want us to COME TOGETHER... not to 'sell EQ', but to GIVE EQ, to Teach EQ, to Share EQ! We all want us all to do EQ. We all win with EQ. IQ + EQ = LOL !! From: Joshua Freedman Date: Wed, August 08, 2012 2:49 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt - absolutely! I was just thinking of you yesterday -- we're working on a new report for our SEI Assessment that is something anyone can relate to -- our target for the product is companies, but it might be a powerful "linker" to doing more for the general public. Hoping to have a beta end of Sept so you can see it then! =:-) - J . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joshua Freedman, COO --- Hi Josh, I'm taping half-hour trainings on EQ-101. I like how you explained EQ here. May I show this video during the training? http://www.6seconds.org/2011/10/15/neurobiology-of-emotional-intelligence/ Thanks. - Matt --- >> Wholeheatedly(!) (ND Brochure) thesaurus 4: Healing curative remedial therapeutic medicinal curing restorative soothing health-giving recovery restoration recuperation therapy treatment reinvigoration settling reconciling restoring rebuilding rectiying make good patch up set right curing mending repairing nursing restore to health make well nurse back to health --- 06:59 QUICK, the ffff is working again! and the right-arrow, and the 00..112334566213300.65548799846422 entire keypad! WTH?!? lol. whatever feel, friend, for (4), find feeling(s) afraid forgive forget funding free freedom --- 07:30 LI-EIN Hi Correna G., thanks for your interest! Yeah, I think it's a killer idea, financially, and could change the world, at the same time! Here are some thoughts. feedback/involvement/collaboration is always welcome. EQforAll: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQforAll.doc EQ Research: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQResearch_20120716.doc - Matt --- EQ-101-Class1-EQBasics_v04a.pptx EQ-101:Taking Control of our Feelings and Emotions The first steps to increasing our emotional intelligence and living a life of purpose! EQ-101 Outline 1. What I’d like you to ‘get’ from this session 2. The Neurobiology of Emotional Intelligence 3. What is EQ? 4. 10 Reasons to Learn EQ 5. 4 Steps to Learning (anything) 6. Event ? Meaning ? Feeling ? Behaviour 7. 7 Steps to Healing Feelings 8. My story and background 9. 10 Steps to add EQ into your Life 10. Homework and Next Steps What I’d like you to “get” about EQ! 1. Awareness of EQ What I’d like you to “get” about EQ! 2. Acceptance of Feelings What I’d like you to “get” about EQ! 3. Desire to put EQ into practice Cut to Josh's YouTube video (3 min)http://www.6seconds.org/2011/10/15/neurobiology-of-emotional-intelligence/ The Neurobiology of Emotional Intelligence By Josh Freedman, COO of the 6 Seconds.org http://www.6seconds.org/2011/10/15/neurobiology-of-emotional-intelligence/ Emotions are neurohormones that travel thru the bloodstream. They effect every thought and every action we do! WHAT IS EQ? http://www.EQRocks.com/What-is-EQ EQ is a feeling, and EQ is about feeling EQ is a skill, or set of skills, that let us make our lives look, and more importantly, feel, as great as we can make it. EQ is 100% totally, completely FREE! EQ is the universal language among all people. EQ is an attitude, a belief, a knowledge, an experience EQ is about personal responsibility. EQ gives the freedom to choose… EQ is a knowing, about how we work EQ is about knowing ourselves so well, that we can act, or react, at will EQ is a decision, not to be a victim, ever. EQ is about power and control, but in a good way. EQ is a language, offering the tools to communicate who we are and what we need in a way that gets closeness, and results Daniel Goleman's constructs or skills for emotional intelligence (EQ) - Self-awareness - Self-regulation - Social skills - Empathy - Motivation from “What Makes a Leader" by Daniel Goleman, Best of Harvard Business Review, 1998 5 Top EQ Skills 1. Self-Awareness: The ability to know one's emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions. 5 Top EQ Skills 2. Self-Regulation: Involves controlling or redirecting one's regular, as well as disruptive, feelings, emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances. 5 Top EQ Skills 3. Social Skills: Managing successful relationships, human connection, and teamwork 5 Top EQ Skills 4. Empathy: Considering other people's feelings, especially when making decisions 5 Top EQ Skills 5. Motivation: One's internal drive to achieve, and succeed Top 10 Reasons to Learn EQ! 1. It's super-healthy for us, emotionally (and attitudinally)! If can accept and allow our feelings, we can accept and allow ourselves! 2. It's super-healthy for us, spiritually In goodness and light and purity of thought 3. It's super-healthy for us, physically Yep, it’s true! Stress in our heart causes stress in our body. 4. It's super-healthy for our relationships. Communication, boundaries, intimacy, passion, connection -- EQ is what relationships are all about! 5. It could be super-healthy for us, financially. I had trouble taking this one to heart, but it’s true: "every dollar we've EVER made, and every dollar we ever WILL make, is based on a relationship with someone.” 6. It's super-healthy for kids in school. In academia, EQ is called social and emotional learning . The research numbers show that SEL helps kids concentrate, learn better, fit in, not get sick, participate, retain, etc.! 7. It's super-healthy for our families. EQ helps us have a happy home, and kids, and wife/husband. EQ helps us get along, understand and appreciate each other, which makes for independent, well-adjusted kids/teens/adults. 8. EQ is good for business. EQ leads to better customer service, employee satisfaction/retention, even improved individual and team performance leading directly improvements to the bottom line! 9. It's super-healthy for us, socially People with high EQ tend to be givers, not takers, they want to connect, and to love, not steal from, cheat or hurt. 10. EQ could very well save our world! I believe EQ is the foundational shift needed to change the planet from a path of destruction and war, to a healthy togetherness, acceptance and positivity that could change EVERYTHING! Top 10 Reasons to Learn EQ! (oh, and IMHO, teaching EQ to our kids, and the world, is the #1 best thing we can do possibly for our own FUTURE!!) 4 Steps to Learning (anything) 1. Unconsciously Incompetent “We don’t know that we don’t know.” 2. Consciously Incompetent “We find out that we don’t know.” 3. Consciously Competent “We learn how to do it different.” 4. Unconsciously Competent “We do it different, without thinking about it.” EQ Homework 1. Stop and Notice what you’re feeling, at least three times a day. Can you identify the feeling(s)? Are you feeling more than one feeling at the same time? Are your feelings OK with you, or are you fighting or denying them, even to yourself? 2. Share your feeling(s) with another person. Start a sentence or two with “I feel…”, remembering not to judge or squash your feelings 3. Answer this question to yourself, about yourself, “When, as a child, did I feel this same feeling?” See how the feelings are similar and different Notice how feelings you felt as a child are still effecting you today. Learn EQ from the Pros! Breakthrough Workshop: Sept. 14 in Fort Bragg NewDirectionsWorkshop.com email: Matt@EQRocks.com call: (707) 962-9006 on Facebook: Matt Perelstein or: New Directions Workshop --- EQ-101 Class 2: Emotional Healing 1. Intro / Agenda Generally, EQ can save the world (show 1) Individually, EQ can change your life (show 2) 2. The Problem: Left-brain vs. Right-brain - Left-brain focus, Right-brain neglect - Right-brain feelings, trauma, belief systems 3. Emotional Healing: How it works/ND - Freud vs. Adler (powerless vs. powerful) - Clueless = dangerous, to self and others - Gives us control over our lives - Negative Feelings, expressed as intensely as they are felt, will reduce in intensity and are free to change! 4. Event --> Meaning --> Feeling --> Behaviour - show sheets, Paula asks, Matt answers/cries 5. Meanings (Belief Systems) are the key - We don’t react to people, events or words… we react to what they mean to us! 6. The Solution: Activate the right-brain, change the meanings -Become consciously aware, act vs. react - Understand self, left-brain understanding - Awareness and act, not react 7. ND, connection - for over 25 years, teaching ND, healing, amazing changes - 3 Steps to Managing Feelings AAA - 7 Steps to Healing Feelings 8. Sept. 14 in fB (still relevant "coming soon") - 1st class here, after 11 years - Russian Gulch - $100 off by Sept. 1 9. Homework and Next Steps - What would you want from ND? - How is your childhood still effecting you today? 10. Closing slide 3 Purposes to EQ: 1. Become more aware, knowing what we're doing 2. More intentional, doing what we mean (results) 3. More purposeful, doing it for a good reason Emotions are essential to effective decision-making and motivation 7 Steps to Processing Negative Feelings 1. Know 2. Identify 3. Accept 4. Express 5. Release (both Feelings and BS) 6. Replace 7. Rejoice "It is easier traveling the road of life when I don't have so much to carry on my back." - Silas Weir Mitchell {1829-1914 Physician, Writer & Poet} The EQ Serenity Prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." EQ is moving humankind from human to kind. "Most of the problems of man are man-made and can be solved by man." - JFK "Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves affects us inside ourselves." - Stephen R. Covey --- What Why How --- all morning creating EQ-101, show 2 slides/outline with PKP 1:07 good luck! Not good! not prepared paula was pissed the EMfB sharing went well, but that's about it. very sad. PS, copied their RClient (VfP) program from one PC to another, worked, yay home rode 4-stroke Honda 250 motorcycle after, 3+ miles Bella ahead, Bud-Bud behind mill, gibney, mallory dr! very fun --- 02-04 Olympics nap 08 hunting do orders argue a bit (2 biggest, discouragement and physical) --- 09:39 Hi you! Aubree So, here are some banners I'd like made. Be creative with the colors and backgrounds. Here are some notes. - The words must stand out clearly from the background - Professional-looking, no sparkles. - Check carefully for typos - font must be readable, not too fancy - I do have pics, of people, and other stuff, if you want to use any... but the wording is the most important. This EQ stuff is REALLY important (like life or death in some cases), so we gotta tell people what we know! Let's try one or two and see how they look, k? Please to be in business with you!! - Matt Banner Quotes: - Happiness is a Choice! - IQ + EQ = LOL !! - Choose Love! - EQRocks! - We gotta Feel it to Heal it! --- 09: Robin called... photobooth ND: Give guarentee enrollment! rachel probs - (!) manage emotions deal with emotions --- 10:20+ josh (not used) But my EQ is off the charts. I'm a right-right-brainer... pure emotion sometimes... not even words. And this stuff just comes to me. I've been working in face-to-face workshops for 25 years now, helping people feel-and-release their negative feelings, and we've gotten significant results. (f is working!) fffff yay! so helps the flow of things! I don't want to take it. I just got a $5k job. that'll last us another month. let me do this, Paula. please. I'm right here, right now. so close. --- 10:56 Betsy, Marcie and Paul Hi. Great pics, Marcie, thanks! Even if we don't run them, I'm keeping these! That pic of Michael is priceless... he has succeeded in life. We should frame this and send it to him as a thank you gift... he really was amazing, tough act to follow. There's was also a pic taken by the photographer (not nicholas) at the audience choice awards of all of us, out under the sign... that pic would be great at the top, showing WHO is saying thank you! Do we have any other pics of a bunch of the board members together? Know what else might be nice, if you're so inclined... a report of the fest. List the Showings, with the # tickets sold for each, then mark those where the filmmaker was here. maybe a paragraph per day. what happened, how it felt, feedback after. that kinda thing. optional. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: Test Message - HTML Format:Thank Youz 2012 From: Marcie Schorg Date: Sat, August 11, 2012 9:57 am To: Paul Kemp' , betsy ford Cc: Matt Perelstein Hi Betsy and Paul, Attached is the second version of the e-blast with kudos from audience members and Reuther family. Do you want to include any Film Fest news and 2013 dates? Matt is thinking the showing of people at the fest - good idea - Matt, attached are photos of this year's Fest with people in them. Copy for 1st photo: Film goers wait to enter Crown Hall in Mendocino at 2012 Film Festival. Copy for 2nd photo: Executive Director, Michael Fox, introduces the Shorts Program: All You Need is Love Copy for 3rd photo: Audience members enjoy Wonder Women film. Marcie --- completed Livermore Berkeley Labs visit request form Avinash called, told him of form prob. start Tuesday. --- 12:00 MFF Done, Arlene Took awhile, as I was looking for a group, to edit its members, but that's not how it works. You go into each Contact, and add them to the BOD group. So, it's done. I had to add Christine Wagner (christine.wag1961@gmail.com) as a new contact (we're gonna have to figure a way to differentiate the 2 Christine's, ey?) c-ya. - Matt --- PP = 1199 trying to print postage for 4 orders - only 1 offers "print shipping postage" - had to lookup box size (7x5x14) Shoebox - to San Diego, 1 lb, 10 oz only $5.66 (but it was 0.9, 1/2D, oh well.) not good(!) Both you and your recipient will receive details about this shipment in an email confirming this transaction. good Void this label To void your label, you must request a refund within the next 48 hours. Edit Printable Packing Slip Recurring payments dashboard Use this page to manage the following types of payments from your customers: Subscriptions Automatically billed payments Installment plan payments filter status by: Active, Cancelled Subscribers 28x! 1 since 2007, 1 since 2008! Elizabeth Jul…Email: bethjulian@communicomm.comCustomer ID: S-63S0139691636114WDescription: Eucs - 1 Pound Subscription Service Eucs - 1 Pound Subsc…Eucs - 1 Pound Subscription Service May 15, 2010 $19.95 USD Active Payments between installments, start and end dates, or not suspended Jane Thibeaul…Email: lunamystab@hotmail.comCustomer ID: S-8Y3101729L4189307Description: Eucs - 1 Pounder Subscription Service Eucs - 1 Pounder Sub…Eucs - 1 Pounder Subscription Service Apr 22, 2008 $19.95 USD Active Payments between installments, start and end dates, or not suspended Margaret Ogde…Email: maggieo253@gmail.comCustomer ID: S-291974759X3595043Description: EucLeaves - 1 Pounder Subscription Service EucLeaves - 1 Pounde…EucLeaves - 1 Pounder Subscription Service Oct 9, 2007 $19.95 USD Active - Print custom Shipping label from USPS.com https://cns.usps.com/go/Secure/LabelInformationAction!input.action --- We wanted to do a shout out to our loyal Euc subscribers! THANK YOU for keeping your furry/feathered friends happy Euc customers every month (one since 2007, one since 2008)! We appreciate you! --- 12:53 Gwen Hi. Hope you and yours are well. Here's code for a PayPal Gift Certificate, with the EucProducts logo, for $17.95. Would you try it out on the Gift page, please?
Thanks. - Matt --- Josh (not sent) Good news, Josh: Targeting the general public with EQ is the probably the largest market imaginable... EQ applies to anyone who's ever had a thought, or a feeling... any age, any nationality, universally applicable, to all humans. I believe it will be well worth the effort! You've mentioned a few times that you thot our views of what EQ is/means may be different, and I fear that may be true. However, with all due respect, I also believe that yours is more limited in vision. I have been to your world, but you have not been to mine. You see EQ as a cool tool that can be used to connect, and expand, and build, and lead... and I totally agree! But, I also see EQ as a naturally therapeutic tool for healing, and releasing, and curing some of the most profound pain of life, quite literally saving lives, and potentially, changing/saving our world! I, too, want to create more schools, all over the world, Josh. And, certainly agree with your goal to get EQ into existing schools. ... but not just high-end, private schools, but all kinda schools, all ages, all over. I believe that individuals, and organizations, and even governments could be brought together to create an educational network that has EQ as it's base. Kids first, lessons after. I've stopped thinking about trying to sell products, I'm talking about starting an EQ movement, geared toward social reform. I'm guessing that you would consider this to be 'over the top', and I guess it is... but I also believe it's could be very real, and possible, and would create an amazing business, with outstanding income. We could create a complete connection between online, by phone and in-person, to create an emotional support environment where EQ could be planted, nurtured and grown, until it reaches all. Have you seen the new mastery programs, where they've had over 100,000 students in one class from Stanford, incorporated both virtual and physical meet-ups, that are working beautifully. Can you imagine that many people in an EQ class... I can. Here's where I think we need for the general public - EQ Resources - Emotional Support Community - Purpose - R&D - Services - Education - Entertainment - What's new - Journaling And connect that to a network of in-person support sites everywhere... from a mom-and-pop wellness center, part-time in their homes... to multi-site chains of Emotional training and support centers. We could even make these into a franchise operation, that could bring in millions. We'd need to get seed funding for this project, so we'll need to write it up, get it approved by your board, then outsourced to get a backer. I suggest we go for corporate backing, because we would make a very good 'cause' for a giant PR-dependent orgs could get behind. You, and 6 seconds, are uniquely poised to make a HUGE impact on the world. I also believe the focus on the GP could dramatically improve your other services, and vice-versa. It's the next logical step for 6 seconds. I know you tried that video spots on iMotion. Didn't go like you hoped, right? I'm having the same problem, and trying the same solution. I've now taped 2 EQ-101 shows, because like you, I feel a strong need to 'get the word out', and video is the #1 best medium. I could see us speaking together sometime... you have a cool left-right-brain approach, with a wonderful vulnerability and 'realness' about you... while I am a right-right-brainer, have trouble forming a sentence sometimes, but you know Exactly what I'm feeling, and I have no problem sharing it. We'd complement each other. Oh, and people like me, and they like you, and that's the key. We both have a good sense of humour, we are ready and willing to laugh, for any reason, and we're willing to be real and vulnerable, in public. people like that. So, here's where I'm at: I got another job, in downtown Sf. It pays well and all, and they're offering great benefits (even a sign-on bonus!) 'cause they want me. I got offered this fancy job, not 'cause I'm very smart... I'll bet my IQ is like half of yours, and Dan Goleman's, and others. There's still a barrier we're gonna need to get past, in that you and Ayman still don't seem to trust that I'm for real. Ok, I understand. But I also think I've shown you for years now... I've helped run the groups, got SEI certified, came to 2 conferences to meet you and the gang in person, stay in touch... I believe you can now trust me, and hire me. I am for real, and I believe I have, and choose, the very best intentions... on a mission from above, Ghandi-like thing. Let's add a new division to 6 Seconds. Let's write up a business plan, and get the money to get me/us started. I believe we can raise the money for my salary and earn much more, so much more. I want us to COME TOGETHER... not to 'sell EQ', but to GIVE EQ, to Teach EQ, to Share EQ! We all want us all to do EQ. We all win with EQ. IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- 8.12 06:55 fff is working but others are not. can do. been watching Olympics for 3 hours. good stuff WR for USA in women's 4x100 relay, damn. and USAin Bolt wins the 100x & 200x for the second time, so he's considered the fastest man who ever lived! --- Hi Matt, I just got back from the city after a long exhausting week. My son's father was diagnosed with Cirrosisis. He don't have that long to live. I think I am going to have to make payments now for the class that your giving. Motels in the city just about made me go broke. Is there another option on paying ? I saved the doc's in my documents and will print them out and fill them out too. Just wanted to let you know this bit of information. Kely 57 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Hi Kelly, Thanks for the note, I appreciate the update. So sorry to hear about your troubles... is it a painful way to go? I understand about the payments. How about a deposit this month, some next month, and the rest the month after -- would that be comfortable for you? Let me know when you're done with the paperwork and we can meet up somewhere. This week is better for me, as I start a new job in San Francisco next Monday. - Matt --- I don't want to try to win over people and start from scratch. but I guess I gotta. shoulda had a mailing list all this time. follow MattPerelstein.com oh well, I didn't I couldn't spend the time to formalize them tried to format a template, but it's horrible. >> ND brochure 2, but no other leads --- "Never underestimate the power of denial." Ralph Wright Clinical Director Nenqayni Wellness Centre 250-989-0301 (loc) 222 rwright@nenqayni.com --- 08: - 10:14 MMF --- Personalized Cartoons As Response Engines By Stu Heinecke Direct marketing expert, published cartoonist and creator of the Personalized Cartoon direct mail genre Have you ever received a mailing that was so fascinating and involving that you couldn't wait to open it and respond to the offer inside? We all want to make our direct mail campaigns stand out in a pile of mail, but very few do. Here's a way to make your mailings do that and much more: Use a personalized cartoon as your response engine. Personalized cartoons have powered some of the most successful direct mail campaigns I've ever seen. I actually had one appointment-generation campaign produce an impossible 100% response -- and set response records for some of the biggest direct marketers in the world. So how can you put these powerful response engines to work in your campaigns? First, it's important to understand what a cartoon is and is not. A good cartoon -- like all humor -- always reveals a truth. After the laughter comes reflection, and if the cartoon is properly targeted, a deep-seated point of agreement emerges about the need for your product or service as a solution to a problem your prospects face. Cartoons are also compelling. Readership surveys have consistently shown cartoons are the best-read and best-remembered part of anything they're in editorially. Which is why they also command a lot of attention when they show up in the mail. But there are also potential pitfalls. Cartoons are difficult to create effectively, so if they aren't funny or if they're off-target, they can easily turn off an audience. Marketers often make the mistake of focusing the cartoon on their offer or brand, which also can shut a mailing down in a hurry. I always apply the following five rules to ensure success with a personalized cartoon mailing: Focus the cartoon solely on the recipient, not on you, your brand or offer Make sure the cartoon is funny and the recipient comes out on top in the gag Steer the humor so that the "truth revealed" is in alignment with your branded message Use that truth revealed as the point of agreement to launch your message copy Use the "Refrigerator Door" test What is the refrigerator door test? Ask yourself if the cartoon is something you would keep on your refrigerator door if you received it in the mail. If not, start over. So much of what we receive in the mail uses the principle of tease to get us hooked. Ultimately, teasing leads to disappointment or worse. But a personalized cartoon works on a completely different basis, delighting rather than teasing recipients into noticing and responding to the message inside. Can a personalized cartoon mailing work in your business? Of course. Because your prospects are already trained to respond positively to cartoons. And because there are always central truths about every solution offered in the form of a product or service. If they can set response records for the likes of AT&T, Time, Inc., Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Glaxo/SmithKline, the NHL and NBA, they can do the same for you, too. For more information, contact Stu Heinecke or visit CartoonLink.com Jay The Father of Guerrilla Marketing --- the coaches I hired were more interested in helping me do what they think was right but not work with me, as I are. --- Hi Matt, I just got back from the city after a long exhausting week. My son's father was diagnosed with Cirrosisis. He don't have that long to live. I think I am going to have to make payments now for the class that your giving. Motels in the city just about made me go broke. Is there another option on paying ? I saved the doc's in my documents and will print them out and fill them out too. Just wanted to let you know this bit of information. Kely 57 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Hi Kelly, Thanks for the note, I appreciate the update. So sorry to hear about your troubles... is it a painful way to go? I understand about the payments. How about a deposit this month, some next month, and the rest the month after -- would that be comfortable for you? Let me know when you're done with the paperwork and we can meet up somewhere. This week is better for me, as I start a new job in San Francisco next Monday. - Matt --- 08:09 Robert Redford Asks for Eucalyptus Leaves A great use of eucalyptus leaves is to relieve head colds and breathing problems. Here's a scene from "Electric Horseman" where Robert Redford buys eucalyptus leaves to treat his horse. Fresh eucalyptus leaves, branches/perches and chew sticks.are available at http://www.EucProducts.com. - A great use of eucalyptus leaves is to relieve head colds and breathing problems. Watch as Robert Redford buys some to treat his stolen $12M horse in "Electric Horseman". Fresh eucalyptus leaves, branches/perches and chew sticks.are available at http://www.EucProducts.com. - Eucalyptus leaves can help relieve head colds and breathing problems. Here Robert Redford in "Electric Horseman" buys some to treat his stolen $12M horse. Get eucalyptus leaves, branches/perches and chew sticks at http://www.EucProducts.com. Watch as Robert Redford in "Electric Horseman" buys eucalyptus leaves to help his horse breathe. Get fresh eucalyptus leaves, branches/perches and chew sticks at http://www.EucProducts.com. --- By now, you know that content marketing is the new advertising. Your readers - and those beloved search engines - highly reward those sites that consistently deliver authoritative content that is focused on a topic, industry, niche, or idea. What does this *really* mean? You've got to write. A lot. Sure, there's other ways to deliver the goods - audio, video, infographic design, etc. But ultimately, the writer runs this show. And, writing - whether in outline, script, or long form - is what underpins all other categories of media. Writing is the cornerstone skill of all great content creation. - Robert Bruce Copyblogger --- Dr Daniel Siegel presenting a Hand Model of the Brain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-lfP1FBFk if you can name it, you can contain it. --- Tweet: Dr Daniel Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain. If we can name it, we can contain it. #EQ #EmotionalIntelligence http://pinterest.com/pin/250512797993349460/ --- lunch nap 4 orders 2 pm LI-EIN submissions T.J. R. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi everyone! I live and work in Cleveland, Ohio. I consider myself a student of life, and I am always interested in the hows and whys of human behavior. I have recently started a new position in technical sales for a global company based in Sweden. Sales is a people oriented position, so I am always looking for new ways to connect with my customers. Emotional Intelligence is a buzz word I have been encountering more frequently, so I figured this would be a good place to learn a little more and share my experiences --- Rochele HC H. commented on From one of my favs about embracing your emotions (anger, pain, jealousy, sadness) with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a... I'll submit that Emotional Intelligence is a form of good potty-training. We may need to "go" but we don't pee on the living room floor. We wait and go to a restroom, a safe place to do the healthy thing. Emotions, like bodily fluids, must also flow to be healthy. We need to use "Emotional Rest Rooms" -- places to safely acknowledge and honor our emotions. To E.R.R. is Human, to flush is Divine. - Rochele HC H. commented on From one of my favs about embracing your emotions (anger, pain, jealousy, sadness) with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a... I'll submit that Emotional Intelligence is a form of good potty-training. We may need to "go" but we don't pee on the living room floor. We wait and go to a restroom, a safe place to do the healthy thing. Emotions, like bodily fluids, must also flow to be healthy. We need to use "Emotional Rest Rooms" -- places to safely acknowledge and honor our emotions. To E.R.R. is Human, to flush is Divine. - since 2004, it's 169,228 lines long. I've been keeping journals since I was a teen, mostly handwritten, then electronic later. I have sooo many thots that it helps to express/see/release them, even to myself. I rarely go back and read, bec. I'm constantly creating new. I/we have 4 businesses, and a fam to try and spend time with and be close to (since that's the point, after all!). 1. New Directions Workshops NewDirectionsWorkshop.com ND4Vets.com Teach EQ and emotional healing. Over 200 weekend workshops, in 4 states, with over 2,000 happy(er) graduates. hundreds of testimonials as to it's life-changing qualities 2. EucProducts of California (EucProducts.com) One of the only suppliers of clean, fresh cut Eucalyptus in the world. eucalyptus globulus AKA blue gum branches, leaves and chew sticks 7 years, 800 customers, 1,500 orders. 3. Directions Unlimited Computer Consulting Database dude, extraordinaire. 82 projects, 15 State agencies, 4 counties, 1 Fed, businesses large and small Start this week at Livermoore Labs, Berkeley, CA Next week at IMS Health, (See linkedin profile) 4. CEO of 2GetHelp, Inc (501c3 non-profit) Bringing the joy and wonder of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to the world! EQRocks.com, Facebook.com/EQRocks, #EQRocksEQHeals Learn: - The ins and outs of EQ, we'll show you, you'll feel it, you'll experience it, and (I'll betcha) you'll enjoy it. it ain't rocket science... it's what our body wantsta do, naturally, organically, spiritually. - Emotional Healing: there are a few basic concepts we'll tell ya... and again, show ya... so you can take it with you. it's about creating a relationship, a parental, empathetic, loving relationship between you and your inner child. >> in closing of ND now go back and RAISE up that inner child. you take the reigns, but you we leave it that they are 'equal', that each can be equal and learn from and be there for each other. Cool. good picture, good experience, good healing. BUT, that ain't the end of it... it's not about the kid being in charge, it's about the parent, the older you/me who NEEDS TO BE IN CHARGE. many of the emotions are the kid's, and they need to be respected and expressed... and controlled, and managed, and some sanity brought to the table, too. that's the EQ part... know What to do, When to do it. How to create a Safe environment for yourself. we don't have time to teach you where, or how. but we do --- Daniel, you, apparently, have the same affliction that I do... we're great starters, idea guys, let's go, go go! but lousy finishers, get distracted, lose interest, stinky follow-through. ADHD, I call it, just 'cause it helps me identify it better. I'm working on mine, but I still have 20-100 projects started, and not completed. think it's a pattern?!? --- ok, I'm ready to start IMS in 8 days and I'm ready to start LLL on Tuesday I'm doin' it... getting it covered. and I'm keeping Bella safe, and away from Buddy dog poor Spot and Bud are going nuts over her, but she thinks their wrestling with her, so she's enjoying it, mostly she can easily clobber both of them, so they stop when she says. hard to watch tho... doggie porn in our living room. I'm appreciating being able to type again at full speed. fffffull speed! I guess I was supposed to notice that. I did dust out the keyboard, perhaps that did it, and I could do more, to the right. (the right-arrow is pretty darned handy, I must say). I tried to be the paid ED of MFF, no. I tried to get Josh to hire me, no. I tried to get Val to fund me, no. I have NOT finished the D-R yet I am not committed, at least not time committed. as of me writing this, you/I can see that I am still committed to doing what I want, when I want to. to eating what I want, when I want to. to writing what I want, when I want to. , Melinda New Outline of D-R MCTV? Gotta watch the show, then - 2:45 Hi all. For Show2, I need to supply graphics to add to what was taped, so I'd like to see what we recorded, so far. I'd like to drop by on Monday, if you could set up the editor for me, I'll go thru and note the timings, and list which slides are to be inserted, and where. Ok? Thanks for all your hard work... you guys make a good team! Thanks. - Matt --- it's not a house, commercial warehouse, artist-type loft a dozen or so. Jim, nevada city shower, not full kitchen like mine lots of room, office, bedroom, full bath, hot water, forced air heatin drive car inside builds drums take someone on, immediately not ready let's talk to Jim and I'll stay there. $300 needs a bed. ok, find one for me, would you? I'll pay you back --- went for a 'ride' with Bella and Bud. thot, "Most fun I've had on our property!" then, boom. crash. forehead, nose, 2 right fingers, left palm, right forearm, right knee. pics to follow(!) couch dinner p cleaned me up a bit. I stayed in a good mood, the entire time. people do team up with me... they just do what they can do. I tend to push people to do more and more. I figure they'll let me know when it's enuf. I think they do, but they get emotionally involved, first, and then, get overloaded as I suck them dry. I act like it's their priveledge to be around me, so sometimes it prob. feels like I'm taking advantage of them. It's true, I treat them not 'special', but respectful and consistently thanking them... maybe that makes it kinda un-real. --- will confirm via email sunnyvale job matt rich experience willing to do process documentation Wed 1:30 priorities: sql design create tables excel automation info path and sharepoint docs 30-45 min, if like, then onsight, half day shortened resume, chopped part times >> highlight documentation better in resume --- I'm getting better, business-mind-wise. --- Hey gang: It's mega-cool that that the mars landing was so successful!! Glad you're enjoying it so... feels good to find out where you 'belong' don't it?!? so, here's my new part-time job: http://www.lbl.gov/ - you'll like this one, Wendy! and here's my new full-time job (with benefits, and vacation, and sick days, and a even a friggin' sign-on bonus!) http://www.IMSHealth.com I'll be working in downtown San Francisco so commuting down there and into the city is an expensive and time-consumiand, a friend/student is a musician in the north bay area, has a music studio where they make drums. has a loft, where I'll be staying (only $300/mo, I'm basically gonna have my own place... oh, and the garage has a tilt-up door and the car gets parked IN the living room! He said there's about 12-15 other artist-types around doing the same thing. Walk to bus, then to ferry (which Harley takes every day!) or stay on the bus, across the Golden Gate and into downtown. sounds amazing, if I gotta be away from home... and I don't have to drive the motorhome... big gas savings. --- PP = 1300 (nicer!) AFTER going to the USPS! good orders lately, about 3-5/day, last 3 days missed cancelling USPS postage order via PayPal I wonder why some say Print label, and most don't --- 1:15-2 MFF --- 2:26 Hi Elizabeth, I just looked on your schedule for show 1 and it's there, 7pm on Wednesday, but the title just says, EQ 101, and that's all. Can it be changed to say, EQ-101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or EQ-101: Taking Control of your Feelings and Emotions Thanks! - Matt --- , Melinda! --- 2:44 - 5 off to MCTV to view fiasco from Friday actually, after cringing and watching the entire video without sound, first, it's actually not bad, at all! there was some stammering and such, but we can nuke that out! given some good PPT slides, it's very salvagable! PS, carry Paula's class binders up to her office Piacci's - Arrogant Bastard North Coast - Scrimshaw and fries Figuredo's - 4 movies, 2 double-features CVS - 6-pack of p's wine home dinner movie (classic Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman) pause --- 8.14 01:15 watched 2nd half of USA men's b-ball gold metal game vs. Spain not a good game, but they won at the end by 7! filmed LeBron's celebration! --- 02:43 the Other Mendo TV http://mendocinotv.com/about/ Contact us on (707) 964-0101 or mendocinotv@gmail.com to make an appointment. --- 03:17 start GERT course, 32 slides General Employee Radiological Training req'd every 2 years for unescorted access to Berkeley Lab postings are changing blue and white control signs are being changed to yellow and magenta "Controlled Area" "Radioactive Material Area" Iodized radiation, invisible particles or waves of energy emitted from radioactive atoms or radiation generating devises. Common types are alpha, beta, neutron, X ray and gamma radiation. Some radioactive atoms (uranium-238 and thorium-232) are natural; others (plutonium-239 and iodine-131) are man-made. Dose limits, per person ALARA, as low as reasonably achievable Below detection: 985 workers < 100 mrem: 14 workers 100-250: 2 workers Airline flight crew member 500 Nuclear power plant worker 310 Medical personnel 70 increased risk of cancer lifetime risk of dying from any type of cancer in the US 25% (!) if radiation, only increases to: 25.4% embryo-fetus more sensitive to radiation 1/4 of BL staff wear dosimeters, like a name tag, measures radiation dose a person receives from external sources. optically stimulated luminescense dosimeter (OSL) reports available some monitored for internal doses controls at the lab Signage CAUTION Control Area Radiation Area Radioactive Material Area Q: as a GERT-trained employee, you can access... Bibliography US DOE print cert non-LDAP - LBL Yes, Thurs, Aug. 16 at 0830 works for me. I'll be leaving home about 0300, so barring any huge traffic jams, I should be there on time. I'm taking the GERT test now. Thank you for welcoming me... I look forward to a mutually-beneficial relationship! - Matt (916) 599-8597 cell -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: LBNL Affiliate: Matt Perelstein From: Karen Dickinson-Mazzei Date: Mon, August 13, 2012 4:28 pm To: Meghan Johnson Cc: Seana Summers , matt@2gethelp.com, Kevin Peet , Sytha Chan Hi Meghan, That sounds good to me. I will let Matt respond if there is a problem. Thanks, Karen On 8/13/2012 4:24 PM, Meghan Johnson wrote: Hi Karen, Does Thursday August 16th at 8:30am work? Meghan On Mon, Aug 13, 2012 at 4:22 PM, Karen Dickinson-Mazzei wrote: Hi Seana, We adjusted Matt's start date to Thursday, August 16, so he will need an appointment as early as possible on Thursday morning. Thanks, Karen On 8/13/2012 4:19 PM, Affiliate Specialist wrote: Dear Matt: Emp. ID No.: 033903 Congratulations and welcome to the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) as the affiliate of Karen Dickinson-Mazzei. Seana Summers looks forward to meeting with you to complete your Berkeley Lab affiliate appointment on August 14, 2012 at 9:30am in Bldg. 65A Trailer adjacent to Bldg. 65. Berkeley Lab’s Badge Office is open Monday through Friday from 8 AM to 5 PM. Required Training Prior to Arrival As part of your EH&S requirement, General Employee Radiation Training (GERT) must be completed by every person who will come to LBNL prior to getting your badge or your beginning any on-site work. For your GERT training use this link using the “non-LDAP” option with your Lab ID: https://ehswprod.lbl.gov/ehstraining/traininglogin/login.aspx?course=ehs0470&url=http://www.lbl.gov/ehs/training/webcourses/EHS0470 Once you have completed the GERT training, print out the “Congratulations” page to show you have successfully completed the GERT training and bring the document with you to your start appointment. You will also be required to complete a Job Hazard Analysis to identify appropriate training. Please do not initiate your Job Hazard Analysis (JHA) until you have had a chance to discuss it with your host or worklead. Required Forms and Information Prior to Arrival The following link contains your affiliate packet with forms you will need to complete and information about the lab: http://www.lbl.gov/HR/html/Guests/Affiliates/affiliate-packet.html Please complete and return the first four forms to me either by email or at your start appointment. You will need to bring valid photo ID with you to the Badge office such as a valid state driver's license or state ID. The Lab encourages the use of public transportation whenever possible. To gain access by Lab shuttle or car (if eligible for parking) you will need to present a printed copy of this email along with your photo ID to the shuttle driver or security gate personnel. State that you are coming to the Lab for your "start appointment". If you are driving on your first day, you will be given a visitor's pass at the security gate. Proceed as directed by the security gate personnel to Building 65A to park. Parking Permit (if eligible for parking): Please bring valid driver license and vehicle information ( year, make, model, color and license plate number). Directions and Transit Information Maps and directions to the Lab: http://www.lbl.gov/Workplace/Transportation.html Lab shuttle information: http://www.lbl.gov/Workplace/Facilities/Support/Busses/all_routes.html Lab site map: http://www.lbl.gov/Workplace/lab-site-map.html If you need temporary lodging in Berkeley, please consider the Lab’s on-site Guest House: www.berkeleylabguesthouse.berkeley.edu. For additional local housing options, please see the UC Berkeley International Office webpage on finding housing: http://internationaloffice.berkeley.edu/housing_finding. Regards, LBNL Affiliate Specialist affiliate@lbl.gov -- Meghan Johnson HR Service Center Specialist Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory 1 Cyclotron Road Berkeley, CA 94720 510-486-6749 510-486-4072 Fax - 03:47 EHS0470 - General Employee Radiological Training (GERT) Congratulations Matt Perelstein, you scored 100%! You will receive course credit(s) if applicable in the JHA Database within 24 hours. NOTE: If you logged in with a Non-LDAP login and did not provide your LBNL badge number, you will NOT receive course credit until you provide this ID to the EH&S Training Group. You will not have access to Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory sites with card access control without credit for General Employee Radiological Training (EHS0470). Please contact ehs_training@lbl.gov or ehs-webtraining-help@lbl.gov, 510-495-2228, 510-486-7603, 510-486-7524 for assistance. Click the link below to provide anonymous feedback on this course. Your comments and suggestions help us improve our training. https://isswprod.lbl.gov/SurveyNET/TakeSurvey.aspx?SurveyID=l2M08m2 --- 03:33 - I hit it over and over again(!) 25% risk of dying from cancer in US we at least try to be healthy we know that fruits and vegetables are better for our bodies than bread and sugar, right? Well, we also know that crying and venting are better for our bodies than stuffing and denying. >> D-R Universal vs. Individual Processes --- 04:20 , Bring big drive (K:) to MCTV $375 cash --- 04:34 Ok, we taped show2 on Friday on Emotional Healing. Show1 airs tomorrow 7pm http://mendocoasttv.org/schedule3.php. It ain't all gonna be perfect, but it's more important to us to be real. I'm proud of us for stepping out and making it more important than scary! --- 04:48 LI-EIN (45x) Courage is the acknowledgement that some things are more important than fear... Nick C. C. commented on How has your positive attitude influenced your growth and rise to success? Well without my positive attitude, I would have been just another sad statistic. Faced with unconscionable adversities while raising four young children alone, it would have been very easy to give up. However, my love for my four kids, the love and respect I have for myself, and just dedicating myself to worthy causes and staying focused, made my dark empty life transform into a pretty bright and successful one. Why? Because I knew if I stayed strong and keep a positive attitude (even when positive was highly unlikely at certain times), that I could make a difference not only in my kids lives....but in the lives of others as well. as many as 80% of all CEOs are ENTJs. great lives are the culmination of great thoughts followed by great actions. Peter Sinclair Vikki Brewster, MSW • I would agree with John in that we should not label emotions as positive or negative, but report them for what they are-emotions. Emotions are a part of us and we need to accept whatever comes our way and work through it. Consider emotions as part of the life journey. It is more important to identify the emotion, accept it, learn from it...if we do not, I believe emotions come out in other ways-meaning in our bodies as physical ailments-sore back, headaches, etc. Candi Lee Ross • Emotions are like opinions, everyone has them and everyone is entilted to them. It is up to us to accept them as such. Julie Meyer • Great quote, Sally, and so important. A very good book that I have come across in helping people (more than just children) learn to address their emotions is "Raising Intelligent Children" by John Gottman and Joan Declaire. What is particularly helpful and practical are the assessments of parenting styles to determine how we were parented. Children with parents who dismiss or distract from emotions grow up looking at their emotions as a "black hole." The book gives great tips for helping children or adults explore their emotions in a positive, productive way. Ed Daube, Ph.D. • All: There are some very good comments in this thread. John and Vicki point out that there are no negative emotions and that labeling an emotion as negative implies that we should eliminate it (My words.). This is, indeed, an enlightened group as many folks who comment on the topic of feelings still do not understand this concept (Many, fortunately, do and more are coming around. Note: I mean no disrespect or judgment with this comment.) That being said, I would like to comment on the concept of embracing your emotions. While I agree with the concept, I think that embracing (accepting, validating) one's feelings is an important place to start. I wrote a book (Emotions As Tools A Self Help Guide to Controlling Your Life not Your Feelings) based on my experiences teaching and working with a variety of populations including incarcerated and undereducated females who turned off their feelings in order to facilitate dealing with histories of multiple abuse. The metaphor I used to introduce and discuss feelings was my Emotions As Tools Model. The Model can be adapted to just about any population. I teach, using a psychoevolutionary and cognitive based approach that our feelings help us survive. We have had emotions since our ancestors were living in caves. They are like the early warning radar system which alerts us to any incoming "threat". Like the early warning radar, not all messages are accurate but all messages must be acknowledged, validated, and either dealt with or dispatched. (Note: I do explain each of these words and illustrate the idea of the early warning radar by talking about our senses, if needed.) I, then, explain that each emotion communicates a message to us about how we see, perceive, understand, or interpret our current situation. When you understand the message of the emotion, you can then learn to step back and question whether the perceived threat is real or your own misperception. If it is real, you can choose to take appropriate action to nullify it. The message of anger is that there is threat which I believe I can eliminate if I throw enough power at it. Examples include the petite mom who lifts a car off off her kid and the spousal abuser who beats his wife or girlfriend. The message of anxiety, which is a future based emotion, is that there MAY be a threat and it MAY "kill" me. Kill is in quotes because the perceived threat may by physical, psychological, financial, etc. Anxiety can be motivating (eustress) or debilitating (distress). The threat may exist or may be a "manufactured" misperception. Fear is a present based emotion and is different from anxiety. Thus, the phrase, "I am afraid of public speaking." is psychologically incorrect but metaphorically understandable in context. The message of fear, which you experience when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, is that there is a threat and it will kill me. I teach that fear should always be acted upon. A very good book which discusses fear is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker. Again, there are many good comments in this thread. I hope my comments add to the discussion. Ed Daube, Ph.D. The Emotions Doctor --- 05:06 Sami How do you Record Your Thoughts? 1) Traditional Methods a like Note Books, Memos, To Do Lists 2) Hand Held, Mobile Devices 3) A Word Processing software, Your Laptop 4) Audio Devices as Like Dicta Phone, Voice Recording Services 5) Web based Services, Email, Google Tasks, or Other Services What do you think what is the most effective for you? I record my thots like a mad-man! I write and write and write... either electronically in a 'journal' (super-long text file) or hand-written while travelling. Lots of thots, lots of feelings, lots of ideas and insights to record. Some become shared blog posts or articles or comments in this group. The best become audio, or video, or training materials. Most just sits, and waits, for someday... --- 05:20 Ok, gang, it's time for a check-in! How/what are you feeling these days? --- when calling someone 'stupid', ask them to 'explain' what they mean. Stupid is a generality... ask for specifics, so the emotion is taken out, and something can actually be done about the problem. --- 05:53 to all PS volunteers Hi. I just wanted to "publicly" wish Diane Clouse a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Diane, you've been a good friend, an active supporter of Project Sanctuary, and a wonderfully positive influence on us all! Enjoy your special day! - Matt --- 06:08 updated MFF Contact List on GoogleDocs https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Av8MWGohTkr-dDhMc2VJMU1yMzgxZ091YndiVFZ4aXc#gid=0 --- Before you Pray -- Believe Before you Speak -- Listen Before you Spend -- Earn Before you Write -- Think Before you Quit -- Try Before you Die -- Live!! --- 06:36 Good news: Bella is so beautiful as races along beside me on the motorcycle! She ran over 6 miles the other day, much of it at FULL SPEED (20+ mph!) pic of Bella running - Bad news: Here's what happens when me and the motorcycle part ways... pic of faceplant --- 06:43 UK Hi. Can we talk for a few about plans for the D-R app? I still think we need to start over, so a simple outline should be first. I'm available today or tomorrow, if you are. Thanks! - Matt --- 07:04 Hi Melinda, Here is more info that you can use to create a proposed Site Map for the redesign of EQRocks.com. List of Assets Me: (summary) http://about.me/MattPerelstein Me: http://www.MattPerelstein.com Me on Facebook (1,149 friends): http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein Me on Twitter (1,839 followers): http://twitter.com/MattPerelstein Me on LinkedIn (415 connections, 471 followers!): http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein EQRocks! http://www.EQRocks.com EQforAll: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQforAll.doc EQforAll Research: http://www.2gethelp.org/docs/EQResearch_20120716.doc EQRocks on Twitter: (888 tweets, 3016 following, 2749 followers) https://twitter.com/#!/eqrockseqheals EQRocks on Facebook: (50x) https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks EQ YouTube channel (46 videos, 25 Subscribers, 8,514 Views): http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 EQ Lessons and Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (free) EQ Blog (>800 posts): http://www.EQ-101.com (old format, same posts: http://2gethelp.blogs.com/) FB: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 1,718 members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ LinkedIn: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 41,625 members): http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 2GetHelp non-profit: http://www.2GetHelp.org EQRocks on Scoop.it (414 views) http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks EQRocksEQHeals on YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/EQRocksEQHeals MSC on feel.org http://www.feel.org EQ Lessons and Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (free autoresponder series to be moved to WordPress) mini-courses 7 steps 101 lessons 101 quotes quotes 4 life quotes 4 life I also have: 50 PDFs that are all articles on EQ 3 Audio recordings of radio interviews with me talking about EQ 2 half-hour EQ-101 videos/tv shows (Show1 available today, Show2 next week) Google Analytics http://www.google.com/intl/en/analytics/ matt@2gethelp.com / 2gethelp Customer ID: 421-005-0799 I like these ideas of yours: Make each item for sale, but if you join, it's all free! With a value build a sitemap! Remove the family offering for now and relaunch it later Site Map, to include EQ Resources and Recommendations Live feeds / search engine on EQ stuff Community etc. I'll talk to you at 11am PST. Same conf. line #, right? Thanks. - Matt --- 09:38 Residential PG&E 32501 disconnect, by 5pm tomorrow unable? assistance serious illness payment over phone now, press 1, arrange payments 3 cameron 866-735-7742, $1.45 --- not your fault, not in your control definitely not your problem! How can I make your problem my problem? I have a problem. now We have a problem. and really YOU have the problem, 'cause I am the all-mighty customer. cust svc has to keep the resp. on the customer, 'cause it's their equipment. and get them to see their responsibility in it all. irateness comes from feeling outta control, unfair, unresolvable, I can't get thru to you. if worded correctly, they can say most anything, and still have it feel like it's a we thing. like in class, where we can say most anything to people, while processing the ONLY time I "emotionally honest" with people is EQ Honest - I feel ___ when I'm around you, were you aware of that? did you want me to feel that way? --- looks horrible, but feels fine. most of the scrapes are just sensitive to the touch. and my right hand is mashed, but it mashed in such a way that it fits perfectly around the mouse, and it only hurts to type pppp's i'm fine. I'm rather accident prone, based on my history. how'z u? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Workshop From: Gloria Watson Date: Tue, August 14, 2012 9:26 am To: Matt Perelstein Saurina said you got yourself hurt! Are you ok? How bad is it? Luv ya --- 09:57 Nick C. C. commented on What are your most effective methods of controlling the conflict? The easiest and most effective of controlling conflict is don't start or take part in one first of all. Having said that, once there is 'conflict' in the air, the quickest way is to separate the conflicting parties. Than when cooler heads prevail, there must be OPEN and HONEST COMMUNICATION. That is just one of our problems as a society today. People either can't tell the truth; the can't handle the truth; or they just don't communicate well enough. One of reasons why (one would assume) that the "politically correct" fad started some years back. Which is a joke to me and a problem unto itself. Which also revolves around the lack of communication. PC is basically me saying what YOU what to hear. Its done to 'appease' others more so than to address the root of the issues. Personally, I don't want to tell you what you want to hear, I want to share with you what is in my heart. If that is different than your feelings or opinions, big deal. Move forward, agree to disagree respectfully. When people start taking responsibility for THEIR actions and stop blaming it on the likes of their horrible childhood, the medicine their taken, or the psychological changes they are going through, or the area of town in which they reside. The bottom line when it comes to conflict resolution is learning to LISTEN to others. Even if what they are saying is garbage or contrary to what you know is true and a fact. Being an ACTIVE LISTENER and having some compassion works wonders. Finding out what your adversary is looking for. And they should be doing the same for you as well. Once again, COMMUNICATION is the key to understanding and controlling one's emotions. Why do people fight? Because they are fearful of something. And what is fear but a lack of information on any given issue. Find accurate information, learn it, and become knowledgeable about the issue(s) that is overwhelming you BEFORE you plan on fighting or starting a conflict. THINK before YOU ACT. Continued success to all, Nick C. Cicchino, MABC --- “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." - William Arthur Ward "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller. Marc D. commented on "CHANGE" is inevitable, and that makes some people feel powerless. How can we " Change the Change" by transforming our experience to be... @geethamohan Not so. Both humans and the environment have changed since "before biblical days", so has the Human Mind. We act, think,live, and probably look, "differently" - moreover: I am not what I was just a moment ago, my very nature is change.Viz. Heraklitus, Buddha,Henri Bergson, et. al. I understand and sympathize with what you mean when you say "Man has not changed..."; the essential problem has not "changed", nor has its solution - this is why we value ancient wisdom and teaching so highly. The problem is the same: we suffer and die, the solution is the same: to fully understand this, accept it (really be in accord with it) and thus transcend it. But, of course, as you say 'Environment has changed', the world (Society, culture, the Earth itself) we live in is vastly different from what it was two or five thousand years ago, and it is important to be sensitive to this to understand ancient teaching in a contemporary context - to apply it and act on it in an appropriate manner within our current context. To renew it, reanimate it, make it relevant, immediate. The Human Mind has not changed insofar as a mirror is never altered by the things it reflects, but at the same time the Mind (as mirror) is ALSO the things it reflects - they are distinct but inseparable (a mirror that reflects nothing is no longer a mirror). So the Mind has not changed, but also has changed, is changing...is change itself. --- What I really have a problem with our lack of URGENCY in promoting EQ! Call me fanatic, or over-the-top, but people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. We need to make them aware, and show them how to do emotional healing. EQ is the Study of Me! If I know me, I can know you. If I like me, I can like you. If I have empathy for me, I can have empathy for you. It's not rocket science... in fact, many of the EQ teachings are incredibly simple, and short, and wham! Like Happiness is a Choice. Emotional Pain is not Terminal. Negative feelings, expressed as intensely as they are felt, are then free to change. Feel it to Heal it. All guilt and shame is optional. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. We all have Emotional Freedom, all the time. We get to decide. My thots, feelings and behaviours are mine. I am me, 24x7x365. I matter. I count. I have a voice. I can become we. I can make a difference. We can make a BIG difference. EQ = Emotional Healing EQ = Social Bonding EQ = Individual Success EQ = Group Results EQ = Improved Customer Service EQ = Employee Retention EQ = Child Empowerment EQ = Fierce Patriotism EQ = Self-Acceptance EQ = Self-Mastery EQ = Self-Esteem EQ = Common Sense EQ = Lack of Stupidity EQ = Heart-felt Empathy EQ = Intimate Relationships EQ = Healthy Boundaries EQ = Personal Power! EQ = I'm through being a Victim. EQ = I'm finished blaming others, and myself EQ = Now I choose to feel ALIVE! EQ Matters EQ Heals EQ Saves EQ Plaaaaays EQ Laughs :) IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQ has Fun! EQ Smiles, and hugs, and is consciously positive, and forthcoming, and honest, and vulnerable, and transparent, and clever, and with it and in the moment, and on top of it and at the height of my game and playing a bigger game or choosing whether I want damn, what more evidence do you need?!? They're all attitudes and they're all changable! --- 10:28 UK Any time before noon, please. I am taping EQ-101 Show 3 Friday at 2, then we have company coming up... remember Sharon from class?... her and Paula are going to a yarn/knitting class in Mendo together this weekend! :) --- this is a strategy meeting, not design, nor development. --- beautifully! Call me then. 707-962-9006 I don't want you to take notes, or write while we're talking. I'll do the writing, you help me figure out what to say, k? we tried it a number of ways, but I don't remember trying this way. I want us to flush out an outline of what will be said under each of their headings. I want to propose this as the biggest project they've ever done, the biggest project ANYone has ever done, as it's about total world unity and a foundational shift in human consciousness. the opposite of war. It can be done. The following information should be covered in your proposal: - The mission and objectives of the organization 2GetHelp plans to lead a worldwide movement towards enhanced emotional intelligence (EQ). Reduce social problems, and enhance life statisfaction, personal connection, happiness and success. - Your articulated theory for social change. EQ saves lives, loves and limbs. activate right-brain. embrace feelings/people/love. emotional responsibility ---> social responsibility - How you will improve on existing efforts. Teach EQ to the masses, from numerous directions/sources. No one left behind! Never feel alone again. Become part of a family who cares for/about each other. - How your approach is systemic and unique. Core, Foundation, from the heart, new way to think and act, that works. emotional/personal/social responsibility - A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan for its first three years. Coordinate a movement to teach, show, develop, embrace EQ worldwide, provide research, coordinate resources, outreach - An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. taught thousands, connections with other orgs, build awareness, hundreds -> thousands -> millions, 100th monkey theory - An explanation of how the organization will reach national or global scale. teach/build/mentor/show more, online & brick-n-morter - schools, biz, mental health, prisons, etc. simple message to pass it on! - An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. grants, foundations, branded products/services, membership site -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Friday? From: Ursula Kauth Date: Tue, August 14, 2012 10:39 am To: matt@2gethelp.com, matt@2gethelp.com 10am on Friday Matt! Will that work for you? Cheers UK On Aug 14, 2012, at 10:28 AM, wrote: Any time before noon, please. I am taping EQ-101 Show 3 Friday at 2, then we have company coming up... remember Sharon from class?... her and Paula are going to a yarn/knitting class in Mendo together this weekend! :) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Friday? From: Ursula Kauth Date: Tue, August 14, 2012 9:36 am To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt! Pls share your availability for an hour call for Friday! Cheers, Ursula --- You guys are sweet, I appreciate the empathy! Actually, my face doesn't hurt (exc. to the touch) but my fingers, hand, forearm and knee do. Yes, I am super-lucky that it wasn't worse... I wasn't wearing a helmet because I was "only riding around the property" -- dumb. The pisser is that, not 5 minutes before I crashed, I was standing straight up on the bike, cruizing up our dirt road (which feels EXACTLY like you're flying!), and thinking, "this is the most fun I've had since we moved here!!" I took this a few days before the crash, actually. My phone camera has a Sport setting that fires off 6 shots real fast... this is one of those. I also took a movie, which I will upload. She is an AMAZINGLY beautiful animal, prettiest dog I've ever seen, AND the best/fastest runner, AND the most actively loving dog, too. She has been my bestest friend lately, since I've been home with her (and the other 2) pretty much all day every day this summer. --- Melinda, People are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about dealing with their feelings, and activating their right-brain, and learning and living EQ! I don't want to be the regular 'marketer' who's touting his wares... I don't care about my wares. I want people to agree that EQ is the way to go. I want people to learn, breathe and live EQ. I want people to band together to bring EQ to the uneducated, as I think it could, and will, change our world! THAT's where I want the site to come from! We, together, are gonna change the world. Please join the EQRocks family, where we, together, will bring EQ to the world. Provide: Awareness: What is EQ, and why should I care? Results: How can it help me? Trainings: How? Stories: How others do it. Resources: How others can help Identification: What am I feeling? Release: How do I dump old baggage? Replace: How to fill up with positives? Rejoice: Wow, this feels good. Let's do more! Healing: Tools, skills and environment to feel-and-release pent-up feelings and emotions Teamwork: Band together to make a difference! Connection: How to create satisfying close, intimate relationships Communications: How to share, and more importantly, how to "shut up and listen" Relationships: Connection, intimacy, trust, faith, strength, courage Language: Use the language of feelings to thoroughly express and deeply understand etc. Everything they need to learn/change/grow/heal/succeed. Show 'em how Create the environment Bring people together Make it happen! make sense?? We're going for a BIG project... maybe the BIGgest project ever undertaken... bringing people, countries, worlds together to unite for everyone can survive and thrive. We're going for a fundamental shift in human consciousness. Sounds airy-fairy, but it's possible... can you dig it?!? we gotta at least try... - Matt --- to town - get PR for lunch, Subway! - then to her house to chow, nice (but found out that Leela is still working full time, even after this week) - to Safeway to get cash to pay MCTV ($375) - to MCTV, copy Show 2 to HP K: drive pay and get paid invoice - home - olympics, a bit (almost over) 6 - here --- Steve Nolan it's not a thing to read, the PPT became part of a 30-min TV show, which airs the first of four times tomorrow evening. I should have a link to it in the next few days, which I will share. Paula and I just filmed show #2 the other day, so I'm working on the PPT wording for that one too, which I/we still have time to edit (see link below), if you have any comments, I'm open... http://www.2gethelp.org/images/EQ-101_Show2_EQHealing_v01a.pptx --- ND testimonials Rosemary Nightingale 3:31pm Aug 14 Hey Paula, we are all rooting for you. As to life here it's more alive and empowered with lots of practice changing old beliefs and choosing to live like I want and wish too. Thank you guys for the insight and all you in the class for support. Hugs! --- Hi Karen, Just a minor heads-up, so you're not startled by my appearance. I kinda parted ways with my motorcycle the other day, and stopped myself with my forehead and nose, so I have some yucky-looking scrapes on my face (and elsewhere). I'll make sure they're covered, but I just wanted you to be aware. Thanks. - Matt --- 7pm FB-NDG Thanks, Glori! Means a lot to get your feedback. So, it's official, the name of the show (for now) is: "EQ-101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)." I got a copy of what they filmed of Paula and I, so I'm doing the PPT to add the graphics. In Show 2, we completed the EMFB worksheet that we do in class -- Paula explained/asked, and I shared my personal story of having to move so much as a kid and how that effected me. Went pretty well, I think. stay tuned for more... --- FB-MCP my face plant has 54 comments so far. mostly "ouch, get better" --- I'm sore, and stiff, and in pain (to the touch), but ok, overall, after my crash. As some of you have mentioned, you guys have been thru this with me before, so it's kinda a repeating pattern, ey? I'm pretty sure I can guess what it's about, and I think I'm dealing with all my disappointment and anxiety about not moving to EQ fast enuf, but apparently I still have some deep down anger or disregard for my body or something like that. I'm open to suggestions. --- 7:51 Steff Hey, I just wanted to say how COOL I thot it was that you were here for Rachel's birthday! You're a walking party, and you are super-important to Rachel, so no one in the world coulda been more better for her to hang with on her special day/weekend! Thanks again for being such a good friend to her, and I'm proud of you for all you've accomplished! luv ya, and always will, - Matt --- 7:56 Glori Celis Matt, are you trying to do too much at one time in the EQ dept? And if you are what's the meaning you put on it if you fail getting EQ out there or don't get it out there fast enough? Does it mean you are a failure? Do you give yourself enough credit for your efforts? These are the kinds of questions I ask myself when I'm having emotional stumbling blocks. Usually when I get the answer I know where to go or what to do. Hope that helps or at least makes you think :) Much love going to you Matt! I have SEEN the full impact of what EQ can do, and I think it's a CRIME that so few people know what we know about belief systems, living at choice, and processing negative feelings! "I" am not a failure, but I am failing, so far, to get the word out very well. Not giving up... never giving up... but it does feel like a total waste of time to be doing computer work, when there are soooo many lives to change/save. agree? --- 8:06 to Perelburgers, and Mayersky's Hey gang: It's mega-cool that that the mars landing was so successful!! See Wendy's links below. Here's my new part-time job for the DOE: http://www.lbl.gov/ (you'll like this one, Wendy), only my 2nd federal job. ... and here's my new full-time job (with benefits, and vacation, and sick days, and a even a friggin' sign-on bonus... woohoo... starting Monday. http://www.IMSHealth.com I'll be working in downtown San Francisco so commuting down there (175 miles) and into the city is gonna be both expensive and time-consuming. But good news in that dept... it turns out that a friend/student of ours is a musician in the north bay area, and has a music studio where they make drums, and the studio has a loft, where I can stay. He's only charging $300/mo, so I'm basically gonna have my own place, in Marin, for super-cheap... oh, and the garage has a tilt-up door and the car gets parked IN the living room! He said there's about 12-15 other artist-types around doing the same thing.... very chic! Walk to the bus, then to ferry or stay on the bus, cross the Golden Gate and into downtown. Sounds excellent, if I gotta be away from home. ... oh, and I parted ways with my motorcycle the other day, so I'm pretty scrapped up, but nothing major. Since I get benefits starting Monday, I've restricted myself from the motorcycle 'til at least then! luv you guys! - Matt --- 8:13 FB-MCR FYI from Tom, as he's now employed by Larry and Richard, working at both clubs: 1) They're looking at opening again in October. 2) He's still heard no mention of re-purposing Court 1 (see story in last week's Advocate) 3) The RHC had it's building inspection today, and they found some things wrong, but nothing too major. --- PP = 813 -403 cash, to MCTV for show 1 production - 16 Rite Aid, socks for PR, chew toys for Bella -20 CVS, 6-pack of wine for paula -62 ATM withdrawal for cash I needed. PP Virtual Terminal is $30/mo. --- FB-MCP Gwen Hovde I need you to look at your weights stuff in Pay Pal. I have gotten things ready for the new starter pack but I am unable to get it to ship free so you may have to adjust that so that 0 weight ships free. I have ecven tried to remove weight altogether and that did not work either. Sorry, working slow, hand raising baby has been tiedeous oh and last monday I had to bring one of my adults to the vet for a facial abcess, which he is doing better, still on meds, which come to think of it he is late for, damnit, gotta run lol! LMK what you figure out about the whipping weight thing : ) PS I saw your face, you need to be more careful!!! Lucky and very glad you are ok!!! thanks for the concern... I will be more careful! Sorry about the troubles with your little dudes. Sounds like you're being a great mom to them! Ok, I looked up the shipping calcs, and it goes by Order Amount (not weight), and it said from $0.01 to $11.95 = $6.00 shipping. However, it will not allow me to change the starting $0.01 to like $5, so I'm not sure how to set it. I'll write to PP tech support and ask (they're usually very helpful) and let you know when it's fixed. Thanks for everything! --- write it out better, put the powerpoint on the big screen, next to the cameras I hold a clicker to advance the slides. --- 1:05 she's the best dog in the world! She's having her first heat, which is too early to breed, but on her next heat, we'll see. Our daughter Rachel has the male, Remington, almost identical coloring, just bigger, and beautiful! Yeah, Teresa, she was in Ben's "citizenship" class. She passed the first class but while taking the test for the second, she decided she wanted to see me and walked right off the course and failed -- I felt horrible (but she does love me, actively, and that feels amazing). I'm gonna miss her tons next week when I have to go away to work. --- what if we could do this, Ursula? What if we could funding, specifically to start a worldwide movement towards an EQ-centered society. We have been IQ-centered society for hundreds of years. The lack of empathy, and humaneness, and common sense, is not working. Plus, there are way too many of us on a planet with limited resources so we really MUST work together to survive. --- @MattPerelstein @EQRocksEQHeals @2GetHelp4Vets Thanks. I'm fine... just scraped up (and a bit embarrassed). Helmet woulda been wise. what's up? - Matt Hey, I'm on TV tonite -- if you get Comcast Cable in Fort Bragg) --- sorry. Did you find a solution yet? the right syntax to use near '-1) NULL, looks like the type of field is there, but the fieldname is missing. It seems like it's getting blank field names, somehow and all 3 errors are on the same line... line 3 Did the conversion program to MySQL create script files for you? If so, they're undoubtedly plain text files, so maybe you can open it/them, find the syntax in error, and fix it yourself... and rerun. '-1) NULL, <--- should be: 'Year' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'Make' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'Model' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'BodyStyle' V' at line 3 '-1) NULL, <-- should be: 'OPTFrontSuspension ' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'OPTRearSuspension' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'OPTFrontSpringRate' VARCHAR' at line 3 '-1) NULL, <-- should be: 'MTManufacturer' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'MTPartCode' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'MTType' VARCHAR(-1) NULL, 'MTCas' at line 3 I was thinking that it might be having trouble because there are so many fields, but Year, Make, Model are right up front. If it keeps doing this, in dif. areas of the same line, then something else is wrong in the conversion process. did you try just scraping it and try again? call if you wanna chat thru this. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: SQL Server - MySQL migration From: Robert Lyss Date: Mon, August 13, 2012 2:27 pm To: Matt Perlstein Hi Matt! OK so I managed to get the connectivity issues worked out and was able to attempt a migration. It almost worked, the word almost being the key there. There were a few syntax errors in each of the tables, see the attached text document report. Any idea how to find the syntax it references? I poked around in SQL Server Administration console with no luck. Thoughts? Cheers, -Rob --- am I committing to IMS for a year?!? I'm interested in: a) getting better at SQL Server b) working with people, trainings, presentations, new relationships, outreach c) lead or management responsibilities --- 2:30 --- 8.15 Hi Daisy, (Chu, IMS) I'm excited to get started on Monday, and I look forward to meeting you! You were right, IMS has excellent benefits! I have a question to ask, please. I have been off work for almost 3 months, so we (esp. my wife) are looking forward to some income, asap. I assume that my first paycheck won't be for 3-4 weeks, right? What about the sign-on bonus -- the offer letter said 30 days from receipt of the signed letter, and the letter was dated 8.2.12. If I could get a check the first week in Sept, that would save us! Any suggestions? Thanks much. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- I found out today that we use about $2.50/day in electricity (PG&E) in the house and $13/mo, or about 0.43/day in my office. not bad... and it's ok to run the heater sometimes, cheapo(!) I want to have 'enuf' again. this is the 3rd time this year I have arranged to make over $100k/year. I'll try to hang on to this one for awhile. 85/12 = 7 / 2 = 3.5 - 1 = 2.5 sign-on = $2k lbl = $2-5k so, by end of Sept, $9kish coming in, net. boom --- 3:19 Thanks for thinking of me, Doc! Hope you're well. AnxietyDepressionClinics is a cool idea, but I've got too many things going just now to add any more. Are you posting blog articles at the Anxiety Treatment Directory? May I create a page on EQRocks.com to sell your books and ebooks? I cannot find a page anywhere where all your books are available in one place. If I sell a hard-copy book, I'll send you half the cover price + postage, along with the customer's address and you can drop-ship directly to them. If it's an ebook, it'll get downloaded thru smashwords, and the money will go directly to you. Ok? I tried to refer someone to buy the ebook, but couldn't find it for sale anywhere. Can you add it to your Smashwords account? https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/DocDowning Also, you probably know, but something happened to mess up your blog page: http://02f4e26.netsolhost.com/DocBlog/blog2.php and on a personal note: Wanna see what it's like on Mars? http://www.360cities.net/image/curiosity-rover-martian-solar-day-2#-1229.11,32.85,120.0 Here's my new part-time job for the DOE: http://www.lbl.gov ... and here's my new full-time job, with benefits, and vacation, and sick days, and a even a friggin' sign-on bonus (they wanted me badly) starting Monday, in SF. http://www.IMSHealth.com I'll be working in downtown San Francisco so commuting down there (175 miles) and into the city is gonna be both expensive and time-consuming. But good news in that dept... it turns out that a student of ours is a musician in the north bay area, and has a music studio where they make drums, and the studio has a loft, where I can stay. He's only charging $300/mo, so I'm basically gonna have my own place, in Marin, for super-cheap... oh, and the garage has a tilt-up door and the car gets parked IN the living room! He said there's about 12-15 other artist-types around doing the same thing.... very chic! Walk to the bus, then to ferry or stay on the bus, cross the Golden Gate and into downtown. Sounds excellent, if I gotta be away from home. Good news: Tony Robbins had 6,000 at his 4-day event last month in San Jose. Min. tickets were $750. That's $4.5M in a weekend! A few burned their feet and the press blew it all all outta proportion, but my guess is that it will HELP Tony, not hurt him. It's still absurd that we are as small as we are, with as gooda work as we both do. People are still dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. However, it also means that I failed, again, to be able to do EQ-related work full-time. Oh well... some day. I hope not to many more die, while I'm off trying to pay my mortgage! - Matt --- 3:26 Steve and Cheryl cool. I'm fine, physically... just wonder what it's all about, emotionally. love your new name, and love, love that you're off and running again. you (and I) obviously have stuff to say to the world, so, let's say it! Your quotes are, seriously, the wisest, clearest EQ-centered tips and lessons I know of! As you know, it kills me that I suck, still, at getting the word out. It's not from lack of trying... must be something else, ey. Tony Robbins had 6,000 at his 4-day event last month in San Jose. Min. tickets were $750 each. That's $4.5M in a weekend. And we are having trouble getting 6 people at $199!!! That's Shit. I'm not stupid, and I've had, even hired, tons of help. but still nothing. EQRocks, after being professionally social marketed for over a month, has 58 Likes. awesome, ey? so, here's my thots on the AR. Keep going in 1SC, but know that I'm planning to change to a different service, a free plug-in to WordPress (which EQRocks.com, NewDirectionsWorkshop.com, 2GetHelp.org and 2GetHelp4Vets.com are written in). We'll be able to export all your Quotes, then import them into the new one. I'll send info/instructions, when ready. Wanna see what it's like on Mars? http://www.360cities.net/image/curiosity-rover-martian-solar-day-2#-1229.11,32.85,120.0 Here's my new part-time job for the DOE: http://www.lbl.gov ... and here's my new full-time job, with benefits, and vacation, and sick days, and a even a friggin' sign-on bonus (they wanted me badly) starting Monday, in SF. http://www.IMSHealth.com I'll be working in downtown San Francisco so commuting down there (175 miles) and into the city is gonna be both expensive and time-consuming. But good news in that dept... it turns out that a friend/NDer is a musician in the north bay area, and has a music studio where they make drums, and the studio has a loft, where I can stay. He's only charging $300/mo, so I'm basically gonna have my own place, in Marin, for super-cheap... oh, and the garage has a tilt-up door and the car gets parked IN the living room! He said there's about 12-15 other artist-types around living the same way... very chic! Walk to the bus, then to ferry or stay on the bus, cross the Golden Gate and into downtown. Sounds excellent, if I gotta be away from home (which, as you know, I see as another royal FAILure on my part... tears). c-u. thx for listening, as you guys 'get me' better than most. luv u! - Matt --- Survival Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution. As a result, our emotions have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system. Our emotions alert us when natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely, our need for connection with other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our need for acceptance which is unmet. Decision Making Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make decisions. Studies show that when a person's emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn't know how he will feel about his choices. Predicting Behavior Our feelings are also useful in helping us predict our own, and others' behavior. Here is an article on the idea that feelings predict behavior. Boundary Setting When we feel uncomfortable with a person's behavior, our emotions alert us. If we learn to trust our emotions and feel confident expressing ourselves we can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling. This will help us set our boundaries which are necessary to protect our physical and mental health. Communication Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for example, can convey a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we are better able to help them feel understood, important and cared about. Happiness The only real way to know that we are happy is when we feel happy. When we feel happy, we feel content and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particulary our emotional needs. We can be warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our feelings let us know when we are unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy. Unity Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human species. Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us. Far too often, in fact, they have tragically and even fatally divided us. Emotions, on the other hand, are universal. Charles Darwin wrote about this years ago in one of his lesser-known books called "The Expression of Emotion In Man and Animal". The emotions of empathy, compassion, cooperation, and forgiveness, for instance, all have the potential to unite us as a species. It seems fair to say that, generally speaking: Beliefs divide us. Emotions unite us. --- 3:54 Sharon's on her way! rebooting... --- sharon --- 8.16 03:42 off to Berkeley for LBL/XRG meet with Tom O, after --- 04: out 08:30 arrive at Badge Facility top of hill above campus change clothes and affix bandaids over nose and forehead pic, LDAP UserID/Password 09:30 meet with Karen James updates virus protection, Java, Flash, remove NetWare, Windows (155x) >> load Windows 7, and IE9 on laptop 12:10 lunch at roach coach, steak sand and fries, not bad ate outside, beautiful out! keycard didn't work coming back 1:30 new MPerelstein@lbl.gov / 2Gh! -- 1st fed gov't email address(!) (karen is GREAT!) --- 8.16 at LBL 8:30 - 5 7.5 = 425 --- 5-6 to SanRafael to meet Tom 6-8 Tom's very cool place! 8-8:30 Costoco (chicken, only, yum!) drive and nap... --- 8.17 2-6 slept at AM/PM in Willits (darn) 07:38 back from Berkeley / LBL trip --- Get Even Get Sick Get Out Get Help - TCOYL, p.144 --- 07:55 LI-EIN Dean M. commented on Is discontentment necessary for growth? Are we motivated to strive and achieve only if we achingly "don't have enough"? Why does contentment = "stagnation"? Why can't contentment = "continuity" for the village? 1) Hedonic Discontent - self-directed pleasure, pursuit of happinessness, and the legitimate desire to have more. Desire for richer, colourful experiences. Adventure, achievement, growth, and honor. Progress through social and economic groups. 2) Eudaimonic Discontent - pursuit of virtue, meaning, purpose, and a life well-lived. Realization of peace, wisdom, transquility and "spiritual" flourishing (in a secular sense). Thriving emotionally, psychologically, intellilectually, and spiritually. Holistic wellbeing. Otherness. Autonomy, transparency and authenticity. True freedom! Is able to pursue hedonic happiness but is driven by eudaimonic discontent. --- MCTV Elizabeth Swenson Mateo Ortiz , Al Holston --- --- 07:08 PP = 1237 +375 MoneyPak (MCTV1) -41 1SC +3 orders yesterday +0 the day before +4 the day before that -9 24hr -59 USPS --- help people by doing it for them, show them how until they can do it for themselves that's what coaching is all about... or should be. more, it's about how they Should/could perform, but it's their problem to perform. because the coach can't perform? anyway, it's more of a hands-off approach to make the big bucks, you'd have to spend more time. go hang with the person for a bit. watch, and video, and video via glasses, discrete come back and show, in private once you take ownership then you have choices then you have power then you have control. (!) ND Testimonial MCP Testimonial ------------- mcp -------------- "I'm ok." - MSplat a doormat with attitude my dad taught me how to my mother taught me to keep quiet that's all they had, but that's what I take into R 'go ahead and run!" big quotes 07:28 outside, with the boys, crying esp. Bella she's been magically good to me, and with me, and with the other dogs and she's grown up, and she likes me, and she loves me, unconditionally and she waits for me, and she nuzzles me. and she comes when I call and she runs along beside, perfectly and she stays in the car, up to 12 hours one day, perfectly (exc. barking@doggies) and she's soooo soft, and beautiful, and BIG, and fun. wow. love is a wonderfull thing! --- be more specific - bullying, generalizing you're stupid your organizing system is stupid they way you put the files in order is stupid be less specific - fear anger sadness --- 07:40 Josh Wright, kforce YEP, it's happenin', Josh -- and I'll show up to play my part. I got a sweet setup with a friend in San Rafael, 2 exits from the ferry. Let's shoot for Wednesday lunch, ey? Thanks for your help on this gig... their benefits and days off are the best I've seen! - a happy/hopeful camper --- 07:44 Call 'em, or give me their number, and your userid, and I'll call 'em, your call. If that info is in the system, you should be able to download it, somehow. They have download capabilities elsewhere so it's just a matter of how to include that table/field. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Importing data into our database From: "Brian Eich" Date: Fri, August 17, 2012 11:40 am To: Matt, Thank you!! To answer your questions: 1. The first two are dinner parties and do not go into the ticket table. The others were test concerts when we were testing the system and do not need to be saved at all. 2. I am still trying to get a way to get that information from the system. I will be in touch as soon as I find out anything. Brian --- 10am Ursula (R08) Goal: Outline flushed out by Aug. 31 Intro bullets: • Every year, almost one million people die from suicide (National Safety Council rates it sixth in the United States. ) The following information should be covered in your proposal: - The mission and objectives of the organization Change the world be a centralized resource adding heart to head Add Emotional Intelligence to Intellectual Intelligence use their whole brain, make better decisions, reduce social problems and create a unified planet. - Your articulated theory for social change. EQ can change everything EQ is simple and straight-forward to teach, free, natural, etc. we don't teach it, been IQ-centerd soceity and therefore people aren't using their whole brain, which is cause stupid behavioural decisions, which causes these social probs, and we CAN teach it (doable, reasonable, possible) and we Can integrate it into life, and thereby change everything. Mission: Add Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) to help people use their whole brain and heart to make better decisions, and live happier, more successful lives -- which should reduce social problems and create a more unified planet -- where we all can survive, and thrive! - How you willl improve on existing efforts existing efforts are in the wrong direction... not even even try to teach it schools do not successfully integrate it bus doesn't families don't teach / show others how to add this focus into their existing programs. improve on results big We, not little we bring together others who are teaching EQ, Network , collaborate, standards, etc. examples, like Peace Corps, UN, etc. - How your approach is systemic and unique. systemic changing from the inside out, change core beliefs, focus on self vs. whole/group, adding compassion empathy to logic and reason changing kids, families, internally more naturally healthy way of functioning don't know that this have ever been attempted before, so unique. goal is make happier people, which should make a better world,, healthier environment, community inside out, me to us - A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan for its first three years. - create a franchise networki of caregivers, pros and peers, online, byphone and in-person - create teaching and class materials, re: the wonder of EQ, of dealing with feelings, to create more successful behaviours - create a learning environment to support, facilitate and encourage change - collaborate - An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. - success indicators, SEI results - survey, questions before, after, 3-, 6-, 12- - determine existing national and international levels, track over time to document improvements - #'s of participants, #'s of programs/caregivers who focus on EQ - veteran who shot all in Wisconsin, violence and hateful - Fort Hood event - An explanation of how the organization willl reach national or global scale. - outreach - networking - funding - franchise - technology - collaboration - An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization willl use to sustain your work over time. - internall income generation multiple streams of income - foundation & grants - donations - corporate sponsorships --- EQ-101, Show 3: THe Power of Anger EQ --> Personal Responsibility and Choices one area we often feel that others are responsible, and we have few choices is Anger! 1. Negative "You made me Angry" most misunderstood punished but it's the Behaviour, not the Feeling, that's the problem the feeling is a good! 2. Positive - Choices! Healing / Venting Personal Power Motivation Self-Esteem Not Victim Closer/intimacy - Building R's, not tearing down 3. Root Causes EMFB, change F and B Secondary emotion Body's way of saying that "this is not ok with me" Vulnerability Get Even / Get Sick / Get Out / Get Help 4. Purposes 3 Purposes Rejection, Manipulate, Feel better Power: use as a victim or healthy 5. Homework "I" messages if didn't love, wouldn't get so angry 10 successes, did it dif. 3 same B's --- 2-4 MCTV Show 3, Anger, with Paula and Sharon! makeup did good! MoneyPak, $375 --- made enchilada's with Sharon good. movies? nope. R knee still swollen, bad, after a whole week 9ish so lifted, and snooze! 10:30 to bed, with pillow under --- 8.18 06: up Traumeel and Ace bandage 06:50 --- keyboard fun 00022555555555555562000000000000000000000000000002222222220055555552322222222 right, right, right, ffffff woohoo!! the keys were just dirty.... very dirty! popped 'em off, grabbed out big wad of dog hair and dust, blew 'em out, reinsterted, and Presto! bizarre that all 5 keys stopped working the same day/time.... maybe I just didn't notice, but it kinda seemed like I would. EditPad is being weird again with the font not showing correctly. ... changed to Candara, Reg, 14, nice! will leave it here... I like! , MFF MMF MAC MattD LBL IMS --- breakfast and some Olympics Closing Ceremony Pet Shop Boys Eric Idle, human cannonball etc. well done! Rugby Club Men's Choir royalty athletes --- 10:15 sent eblast testers Paul, Marcie, Betsy, Pat 10:22 2 tester eblasts were just sent for your review. Don't worry about the text version... it always looks funny when tested, but comes out fine when sent (to the very few who get the text version). Since this is so late, I thought we might just WHAM, show the 3 pics, real big, to start... then go into Thank you and the stories, after. comments are welcome. Let's see if we can get this out this weekend. - Matt --- The more you motivated by love, the more fearless and free your actions can be! Be overflowing with peace and joy, and scatter them wherever you are and wherever you go. - Moinnudin Chisti --- Three Simple Life Rules 1. If you do not GO after what you want, you'll never have it. 2. If you do not ASK, the answer is always NO. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place. --- 11:42 Installed Adobe PhotoShop 7.0 (with Serial Number) from K:\Temp Adobe Illustrator demo period has expired --- UK not a shift not ignore the head don't downplay it at all. EQ Boosts IQ! Adding Heart to Head! improve EQ of people, so they'll make better decisions improve EQ adds the heart to the head it's a very sophisticated world, car ad: left-brain of why you'd want to buy this car and the right-brain of why you'd want to buy this car Add emotional intelligence to intellectual intelligence. Add your heart to your mind. Add your feelings to your thoughts. And know that every behaviour you do, is a choice. IQ + EQ = whole brain simple inexpensive natural fantastic results not be taught in schools en 7:00 --- D-R Mission: Add Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) to help people use their whole brain and heart to make better decisions, and live happier, more successful lives -- which should reduce social problems and create a more unified planet -- where we all can survive, and thrive! --- EQ-101 1: me 2: me and PKP 3: me and PKP and Sharon Why don't you guys record something, and we'll insert it into 4. Lol! You wanna lower the quality of the show ... LOL! 1: The Wonder and Joy of EQ me 2: Emotional Healing using EQ me and pkp 3. Anger, the most misunderstood Feeling me and pkp and sharon 4. __tbd__ steve and cheryl? --- August Rush Soundtrack -- wonderful music(!) downloaded 7x, no charge http://mp3skull.com/mp3/august_rush_soundtrack.html --- 5:45 waiting for PKP and Sharon to get home from their class --- EQ-101, Show 2 made manilla folder for EQ-101 notes and PPT printouts editing PPT --- The distance between dreams and reality is called Discipline! --- 6:23 (via LI) Hey wildman! I JUST got a job in SF (not bad, only 3 months, ey?!?). I'll be staying in San Rafael and commuting via ferry 4 days a week... should be interesting. Will miss the heat of Sacramento. Can't afford to drive the RV, I'm afriad! Starting riding my motorcycle instead, but last week had a little parting of the ways (it went one way, I kept going), so I'm healing from that little boo-boo. How'z your job/life going? Any problems with that dizziness you were having? I've been looking for a job all summer (not fun) and doing EQ every OTHER moment I could (much fun!). Made 3 half-hour TV shows, "EQ-101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence" and written a ton... I love that stuff, and I do honestly believe that it can change the world for the better! No, I had written to Eduardo but the only reply was sent to all of us on May 29. You heard that Chuck left MetaVista, right? Not sure the story there, but it wasn't long after we all split up. Did you ever get one of my famous Giant Paperclips? I hope so. It was a silly gesture, but I was waiting for the right moment to give one to each of us, as a team solidarity thing. Oh well. Hope you're well. Thanks for thinking of me. On 08/16/12 9:11 PM, Dennis Mustard wrote: -------------------- How are you doing? Have you been using your RV? Been working in IT or just doing the EQ? If you are coming up this way let me know and we could get together. Have you heard from Eduardo? I have not heard from him at all. Dennis --- 07:30 Matt Dusanic Autodesk2 more work on same file --- 08:30 - all day building dog run Tom PR and Josh, for a few RR!! --- 5pm "Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them..!" Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. - Groucho Marx --- 8.20 02 up 03 shower and pack 03:36 here orders go --- links http://suicide.org/ http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=sigmond+Freud&qpvt=sigmond+Freud&FORM=IGRE Negative Feelings http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=negative+feelings&qpvt=negative+feelings&FORM=IGRE Importance of Emotions http://eqi.org/emotions.htm How To Develop The Positive Thinking Habit Positive Thinking Can Become A Habit! http://stress.about.com/od/professionalhelp/a/Restructuring_2.htm The Benefits of Optimism Staying positive can improve stress management, productivity, and your health http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/optimismbenefit.htm Attitude, Self Talk and Stress Can Your Self Talk Create Additional Stress? Yes! http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/selftalk.htm How Should I Deal With Negative Emotions? http://stress.about.com/lr/emotional_health/246951/3/ Cartoons Link http://www.cartoonlink.com/ The Power of Negative Thinking http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/the-positive-power-of-negative-thinking.html?_r=3 --- What I really have a problem with our lack of URGENCY in promoting EQ! Call me fanatic, or over-the-top, but people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. We need to make them aware, and show them how to do emotional healing. EQ is the Study of Me! If I know me, I can know you. If I like me, I can like you. If I have empathy for me, I can have empathy for you. It's not rocket science... in fact, many of the EQ teachings are incredibly simple, and short, and wham! Like Happiness is a Choice. Emotional Pain is not Terminal. Negative feelings, expressed as intensely as they are felt, are then free to change. Feel it to Heal it. All guilt and shame is optional. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. We all have Emotional Freedom, all the time. We get to decide. My thots, feelings and behaviours are mine. I am me, 24x7x365. I matter. I count. I have a voice. I can become we. I can make a difference. We can make a BIG difference. EQ = Emotional Healing EQ = Social Bonding EQ = Individual Success EQ = Group Results EQ = Improved Customer Service EQ = Employee Retention EQ = Child Empowerment EQ = Fierce Patriotism EQ = Self-Acceptance EQ = Self-Mastery EQ = Self-Esteem EQ = Common Sense EQ = Lack of Stupidity EQ = Heart-felt Empathy EQ = Intimate Relationships EQ = Healthy Boundaries EQ = Personal Power! EQ = I'm through being a Victim. EQ = I'm finished blaming others, and myself EQ = Now I choose to feel ALIVE! EQ Matters EQ Heals EQ Saves EQ Plaaaaays EQ Laughs :) IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQ has Fun! EQ Smiles, and hugs, and is consciously positive, and forthcoming, and honest, and vulnerable, and transparent, and clever, and with it and in the moment, and on top of it and at the height of my game and playing a bigger game damn, what more evidence do you need?!? They're all attitudes and they're all changable! - Hi gang! I totally agree that feelings and emotions (all of them) are natural, organic, God-given "rights" of all humans! The best explanation I've seen of how emotions are generated, and what to do with them, is in a lively, easy-to-read, easy-to-remember book/ebook/workbook by our very own, Myron Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, called "Taking Control of Your Life: Increase your EQ". https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/DocDowning "If you interact with children, families or co-workers, this is a must-read book for you!" -- -Howard Watkins, Attorney "The lessons used in this book go beyond the conceptual and teach you the essential tools..." -- Loree Little, PhD, Registered Psychologist "This expertly written book explains that we can change and improve our emotions and behaviors..." -- -Wilfred P. Derksen, MD, Fellow American Academy Pediatrics --- 04:00 1st bill XRG - $500 go to SF! 06ish cloverdale (really good writing!) 07:40 SR to "apt", put stuff in fridge, hang up/change clothes, grab a piec 08:19 at ferry, bought tickets (full price), missed 08:20, next is 09:15, woulda been an hour late, NOT! drove in, $6 GGB + $x parking! 09:31 here, boom! --- at IMS, day 1(!) mperelstein@us.imshealth.com 415-814-7126 VM \ 7070# mperelstein / 2Gh1 --- , first order to do: M.R. Steel Novelties Steven and Jennifer want seeds new subscriber (2nd in 2 days!) missed a few, Kimberlee, and canada order, below 1/2B, 4x1 ,Kimberlee Walbourne 1342 Stanford St. #7 Santa Monica, CA 90404 Starter ,jen bobb #303-3636 pinewood ave prince george British Columbia v2n4j4 Hi! I received your order for a fresh Euc leaves -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working most of this week, so I'll get your order out on Friday. You should receive it Monday or Tuesday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LBL Bill called got me in db will send email to lbl email address mperelstein / c#1 (I think!) - LBL affiliate survey requested --- , bandaids , ibuprofin --- Load EditPadLite at IMS http://editpadlite.com/download.html --- State Compensation Insurance Fund --- 3 job calls today - no. folsom kyle 972-776-6778 --- 8.21 Tues. ferry (1st time, see pics) then walk to IMS cbt out at 5 5-7+ MFF BOD at 101 GGB North Vista Point(!) new MFFs(!) - Oct. - Nov. - Feb. 14 - May 31, June 1-2 French Dip and veggies Safeway - free cookies - bread and sandwhich stuff - ice cream - salad stuff 9 'home' --- Martin Wilson has sent you a message. Date: 8/21/2012 Subject: RE: My intention is to build an emotional support site that will be available 24x7x365, where both peers (volunteers) and pros are available... Matt, Think that's a great idea! I'm retired now, but served as Director of contact teleministries several years. We trained volunteers to be available, on the phone 24/7, 365/year, and it not only helped call in's...it improved the lives of the volunteers as they learned active listening. I'm "in" on your venture in any way that's helpful! Martin Wilson --- I overdressed a bit... too bigga sweatshirt (but not for the back of the ferry(!) a Vest is a good idea or many wear a light North Face / Lands End-kinda soft, thin, warm jacket/sweatshirt --- ,XRG is paying my first invoice, today! , call LBL , ask Jerry how it's going: jmurphy@jkmcpa.com --- EQ-101 is up, on MCTV! Embed: Link: http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101 YouTube: http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw --- Hi Matt! It's nice to meet you- even if it is through email. We appreciate Sharon Davis connecting us with you! GirlfriendIt Radio with Patty and Lisa is a weekly radio show on www.toginet.net The show airs live on Thursdays @ 12:00pm-1:00pmEST. It is part of a Women's Leadership Movement that rally women to do the remarkable in their corner of the world. You can find more information about GirlfriendIT at www.girlfriendit.com It would be an honor to have you sit around the proverbial coffee table with Patty and Lisa sharing your heart beart about EQ. It is a perfect fit for the message we convey each week to our listeners. The show is split into 4-15 min segments. You will be on for 2 of the segments. Would August 30th or Sept 6th work in your schedule? If not, please send me some dates that will work! The interview is done via telephone. Sincerely, Jamie Thanks for Living the Remarkable! Be A Light In Your World Jamie Weik GirlfriendIt Radio Executive Producer jamieweik@mac.com 602.708.3089 - Hi Jamie! I would be love to be a part of your show! Let's do it, asap... Aug. 30. Anything else you need from me? Sharon Davis is awesome... did she contact you recently? Thanks again for having me. I LOVE to talk about EQ (just did 3 half-hour TV spots on EQ-101), most of our clients are women (you guys are well ahead of us neanderthals, EQ-wise) and frankly, I believe EQ could very well save/change our world! let's talk. - Matt - yes, then no. they will reschedule... sorry. --- IMS paychecks paydates Aug. 31, not full, but mostly Sept. 15, full, plus signon bonus Sept. 30, full Oct. 15, 31 Nov. 15, 30 Dec. 15, 31 --- 7:15 out! 8:45 - 7:15 = 3 + 7 = 10 --- Ferry Schedule (see pic) Weekdays, half-hour trip http://goldengateferry.org/schedules/Larkspur.php Depart Larkspur: 04:51 05:22 05:50 06:35 07:10 07:50 08:20 09:15 10:10 11:10 11:40 - NOT! Oct - Mar 12:40 2:15 2:50 3:40 4:15 5:10 5:35 6:35 7:20 8:50 Depart SF (pm): 06:25 07:10 07:45 08:30 09:10 10:10 10:55 11:55 12:25 - Not! Oct. - Mar 1:25 3:00 3:35 4:25 5:00 5:20 5:55 *6:20 7:20 8:10 9:35 --- won't be boring, unless I make it so. but then, that's how it is, right? If you're bored, that's YOUR problem, NO body else's! If you're angry, you can stop it. If you're afraid, you can beat it, or ignore it, and press on to do what's right. technically, if you got your feelings hurt, that's you, too. we can do better, kiddies. we can. we're smarter than this. we're more aware than any other generation before us. Our parents didn't teach us, because our parents didn't know. (some knew how much pain they were inflicting, and didn't care, but that's a dif. problem) it's on you. It really is all about you... but not in the way you'd think/expect. There's a self-centered, self-serving, evil kinda "all about you", and there's a responsible, powerful, mature, angelic way of having it be "all about you". one takes the other gives. one manipulates the other empowers. one holds self above all the other is self-depricating yet proud, and holds the good of self, as a critical member of the group/people/others as the most sacred treasure. me and we not I to me I feel I believe I understand I accept I will I will not I can yes, I can. and I will if I have to. I can access, revup and USE my personal power in a split-seconds' notice. it's not about physical, it's emotional. STOP. WAIT. This way. it's ok, folks. power and control violence suicide divorce rape abuse or pride confidence Serene Ready Willing Able let's talk about How to, and How Not to let's teach self-discipline let's teach people about themselves. nope, it's not evidence-based yet. I haven't figured out how to pull that off, yet. we don't need the money, we need the evidence what can they do to change it. reality productive useful real practical objective subjective reactive radio-active hey, be positive look for light, or you'll die in the shadows if you find none, make some. do, go, believe, progress, push-on, until there's nothing left. together. let's do it together. it's gonna feel most excellent, you'll see. connect up. become one. I have my silly personality, and other people are gonna have theirs. but look at the EIN group on LI. 42,000 people talking, sharing, enjoying, getting along. I've monitored/read/accepted thousands and thousands of messages... one at a time. and I haven't rejected one in over a year. people are nice, consciously, actively, and powerfully. they sometimes disagree, but with total love and respect for each other. Spiritual Intelligence. One of the most interesting, and potentially explosive thread, was about religion... and it worked. Look up Spiritual Intelligence, and read thru that thread a bit, and you'll see what I mean. I was encouraged that people could disagree, fully and completely, but while taking FULL and Complete responsibilities for their viewpoints! I believe..., I've always thought... The way I was raised, ... it's not that hard, but it changes Everything! it's not totally, completely, 100% IN CONTROL of your self! your own heart, your own head, your own body... yours, alone, unique, different, yet the same. scared, yet strong. confident, yet sceptical loving, yet wise. SHIFT IT! It's the point. that's the movement. If we could JUST get people to BELIEVE that they had control, they'd have more control! now. and now. and now. and forever more (except when they all emotioned up and forget), and then we're there to remind them... lovingly (which does NOT always mean 'gently'). My power is in my PR My control is in my EQ. My happiness is in my hands, every minute of every day. My feelings can be adjusted, by me. My thoughts can be lifted, by me. My success is up to me, and me alone. My love is up to me, and me alone, or together, or whatever... it's my love... I generate it, I give it where I see fit, and I can retract it at any time. It's mine... treat it respectfully, as I will treat yours. My life is in my hands. My joy is at my door. My trust is up to me. My faith is what I can't see. I believe in good. I believe in good times. I believe in finding things to laugh about. I believe in keeping my word (as much as humanely possible) I believe I'll have another (too much, but I'm workin' on it) I believe the world is good. I believe that people are good, and kind, and want to find safety, and friends, and love... all of us. I believe that God is above, that He is all-powerful and spins the universe the way he chooses (kinda like how we spin ourselves the way we choose) I believe we can do this. I believe EQ can effect a change so I don't have the numbers I need to "prove" my case. It's not an evidence-based intervention, yet. in fact, that will be one of my primary objectives in I believe we can change things. I believe we can teach EQ, to the masses, in a way that a) they hear it, b) they accept it, c) they even ENJOY it. If we could pull this off, we would all WIN! I believe we can teach people Emotional Responsibility. I believe we can then show them Personal and Social Responsibility. I believe those lessons will have a trickle-down and trickle-out effect that could be a turning point in our civilization. The EQ Generation The EQ Movement The EQ Republic The Republic of EQ The EQ Do-U-EQ? EQ U, baby! EQRocks! give-away the stickers we'll mail 'em to you. $1. personallized something in the mail 2GH family it's too big for them Melinda is buckling under the pressure just like Tina did only UK has had the nerve to stand up to me, and with me. Catherine, even Lonn --- Wow, Martin, I was so happy to read your note! Thanks for reaching out to me. Yes, I strongly believe that the Giving of help is a wonderful way to give purpose and hope and meaning to many people's lives, just as the Getting of help, have a safe place to be real, to confide, to vent, to release will save many! I own 2GetHelp.com and 2GiveHelp.com, with that concept in mind. I want to Teach people how to listen, how to connect, how to 'process' negative feelings and how to redirect people's belief systems from powerless to powerful. People want to feel value and purpose in their lives, and there's a tremendous, free, conveneint and oh-so-important opportunity right in front of us. Everybody wins with EQ! So you have taught volunteers already?!? That's exactly what we need to do... some can charge and some won't, but must attend required training first. I'm sure that monitoring and oversight will be a challenge, as it's soo easy to cross a line, esp. when people are in a painful, vulnerable state. I am working on a foundation application that could potentially fund us to take this world-wide. I know it's a long shot, but we gotta try (and keep trying). http://www.drkfoundation.org Let's talk. I'm commuting into downtown San Francisco the next few days, so I can talk to you early before 7:30am PST or late 6:30pm+. yeehaa, Martin, yeehaa. - Matt --- 11+ "You have to look at the way conventional wisdom works... and abandon it." - Don Valentine "Something Ventured" funder of Atari, Oracle, Cisco, Apple Tom Perkins funder of Genentech, AOL, Compaq, Amazon Arthur Rock funder of Intel, Apple, Teledyne Venture, to proceed despite the risk of danger Capital, wealth used to generate additional wealth --- 8.22 00:23+ went to sleep watching "Something Ventured" coach, towel as blanket pause 05:20 "Something Ventured" --- "One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure." - William Feather "The first rule of any game is to know you're in one." - Cisco Systems , get a screen shot at 9:14 of Something Ventured it's the Cisco bldg 11 (where I worked) and 9 (HQ) from the air. "well, isn't it great if you can make a bunch of money and change the world for the better at the same time. lol!" - Don Valentine? --- 8.22 day 3 at IMS 5 up "Something Ventured" 6:45 shower... nice 7:15 to ferry, made it easily, even with traffic. just stay in right lane 07:50 ferry found Harleigh (third try!) she stood up with me, by the bathrooms... very nice chat! 08:40 IMS --- PP = 1406 + 6 orders today --- Hi Minty, That payment should have shown by now, 24-hours later, correct? I'm afraid it has not. Can you check into it, please? Thanks again. - Matt --- 3 jobs VBA Roseville neil @ 973-774-1085 Ginger 800-845-8569 x264 727-507-9646 --- Shruti gave me 1.5 hr training on HSD and rights to the Hub DB and Sharepoint and the manual and the HEDIS manual and permission to work from home on Friday!!(!) --- UK Hi. I just found out that I WILL be home on Friday, so let's meet again at 10am, ok? Good meeting last time... I'll write it up and send it before our meeting. Yeehaa! - Matt Also, if you have NetFlix, check out a movie called "Something Ventured", as it's most inpirational for what we're doing (and Richard Draper is in it)! --- out at 6 pub Find it, Own it, Enjoy it! - pretty black girl in pub --- positive psychology reslience family health work sean's Q & A lose weight or quit smoking bec. you raise your level of happiness define happiness are you happy 5 CD set somebody negative, pop in the cd you can ecourse positively impact the lives of our viewers people in your life who could be assisted by $75 The Happiness Advantage DVD $150 CD and book falling up, learn about not bounce up, but forward adversity is a stepping-stone sean kqed.org/donate $250 ecourse my fave The Happiness Connection 5 DVDs, book, ecourse meet sean chapters login semester topics health stress transform the people around me - mirror neurons toxic people research action plan it's like a training course we all DESERVE to be happy be happier we don't have to sit back and wait do experiments, at home try out yourself brings research to life bring the family around your computer and make it come to life >> sug. allow people to become PART of your studies you guys do it, keep track, enter numbers here and comments, of course make 'em a few months, at most, with a distinct ending/celebration/posting of results then start another then, let people start THEIR own, and get their own experiments going 4 habits live longer less depression more connected in your relationships 5th habit people around you -> most correllation .7 deep social support charge our battery re-connect with social network even 2 min. a day 21 days in a row think of someone 2 min. praise or thanksgiving old teacher, peer, spouse I'm the type of person who does things like that! charges your battery brain feels greater social support give first social as predictive in your longevity as obesity, smoking people who don't have friends. realize that if you don't have 21 people in social support network meaningfully activated these people increases your belief greatest buffer against depr. charge your battery, and 21 other people's it would make your day we can go days or weeks or Years on a single bit of praise! regardless of your upbring Happiness is a Choice! live longer less depres 31% higher energy more connected younger changes everything private equity firm gratitude is good for you. he's right we've heard this from every religion, motivational leader it's not new if we can do those habits, makes exercise easier positive meaningful impact common sense is not common action information is not transformation information does not mean transformation researchers too if you sleep 3 hours/night ripple THA out short email addy gets written to more 21 days in a row creates a life habit william james I do research on myself Activation Energy initial investment of energy reaction occur change it slight, brain will magnify it for you. negative habit watching TV avg 5.7hrs/day batteries out, in bedroom change activation energy create conscious hours I was watching TV try just 1 of these for 21 days in a row just 1 commit right now 3 fun 15 charge make 1 habit easier 2 major comco H is a choice, not external how you process the world change your habits raise your level of H significantly feel success in every are health improves ripple 40% more likely to live to 94 tip world away from negativity Happy and hopeful bring this research to life - social connection social support help me be ER resilient stress is inevitable effect is NOT inevitable on way to work at home stressful day change the way stress is effecting me more than just smiling improve energy triple your creativity be more focused more enjoyable thinking about not just your own H focused on research change the way you interact with them you can effect their level of H we start with negativity raise level of H easier to keep goals dieting, exercise plans FAQs happier cronic pain/illness transform schools using HA research headstart on a happy life - they don't pause, or breathe, just constant stream of words I wonder if they lose people with a pause... good stuff! --- people will do what I'm trying to do. I will get discouraged, thinking "that's already being done" don't stop. --- Be sure you put your feet in the right place, and then stand firm. - Abraham Lincoln "The Law of Relevance" "No matter how scared, or tired, or ill you are; no matter how lost, or confused, or desperate you become; no matter how lonely, depressed, or cranky you feel... if you just do what you can, with what you have, from right where you are, IT WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH." "Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity." - Edwin Hubbel Chapin Not everybody we meet will like us and it is ok to move into acceptance rather than trying to make somebody like you. Do you want to win? Then get tough. Mentally tough. It takes more than muscle, more than practice, more than sheer determination to get to the top. It takes the mind of a champion. --- Thomas O'Callaghan Professional Painting Services 57 Joseph Ct. San Rafael, CA 94903 415-459-4125 --- Emotional Intelligence in Texas - Happy Hour August 23, 2012 at 4:30 PM - 8:00 PM Blue Mesa North Plano, Plano http://www.linkedin.com/osview/canvas?_ch_page_id=1&_ch_panel_id=1&_ch_app_id=30&_applicationId=2000&_ownerId=0&appParams={%22event%22%3A%221040085%22%2C%22page%22%3A%22event%22} I can't make it, but I'm excited that EQers are getting together! Let's spread the good news about Emotional Intelligence. EQRocks! --- Real Player download (free) http://director.real.com/realplayer?type=rpsp_us_rpcom20 --- >> change snolan19@xtra.co.nz and stevenolan@xtra.co.nz accounts to stevenolan@slingshot.co.nz or as as a backup keylifeconcepts@gmail.com --- Firms with female directors perform better! Research ‘proves’ better share price linked to gender diversity at the top --- >> when on a new computer, open an Office document, go to the Clipboard and set it to Collect clips (12x)... otherwise, it only keeps the last one. --- 06:52 downloaded EQ-101, #1! Archive.org site allows/encourages it! there's more, in dif. formats very cool! (I was installing RealPlayer, but not needed... but still did) switching to Matt500 drive , clean off Payson drive, please! only 46Mb left --- shower, ferry, work, ferry, home! , 2 Mtgs Friday Noon, Melinda 2pm, UK Jerry, ok? , connect to LBL!!! write up requirements , Autodesk 2 , MFF? --- 08:48 here at IMS home tonight! learning HSD , pickup Matt500 drive at Tom's Talked to Tom he wants me to sleep downstairs has blow up air mattress. no prob. leave $100 , bring: ,another towel xsleeping bag/blanket (found 'em in coffee table) new room (#23) bed hang clothes dresser/milk crates trash can lamp/light flashlight to get from up to down, and back again. vitamins Harleigh says we're supposed to be sly about staying there drive to door, bring stuff in, then park car posted EQ-101-1 to YouTube! http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw --- Gloria got a job! --- Sent UK $200 , bill Val, next time --- I'm pretty sure my hand was broken in the motorcycle crash not sure what's up with my knee... still swollen (badly), 2 weeks later --- 5:55 out --- 8.23a (in GP) 8ish Moylan's. kilt-lifters are going into Safeway(!), so they're all outta capacity Kathleen, Danny Red Lifter *10:04, 128 E exit off 101 D-R Gallup Organization show that fully 2/3 of the existing working population are disengaged people with low EQ can be quite dangerous. where is it? in a dif. file? , LBL call karen, sorry >remove all DB stuff from LI? are you ready to be the EQ Dude, yet? make it fun, lively, upbeat, yet powerful get on tv and ENTERTAIN 'em... that's what I'm good at... or could be better at. I think I have good personality, and I will develop it over time. I let myself down about the on-air dieting thing. however, that was only when it's 'real'. it's not, yet, it's just practice. B's payin', I'm putting in the time, courage and some wisdom, and some feeling, and it's happenin', slowly. I kept the classes going. I kept writing and designing stuff. I kept getting trained, making connections and being out there, learning and living WHILE I also had full-time jobs (off and on... lots and lots of part-timers, tho). James, MyPic, MyDocs, MyMusic, all gone rebuilt profile. is the old profile still there? --- snoozage... --- 8.24 00:33ish up (cold) write a bit can't find D-R file. then go home and work on it... bye. --- 04:19 home! good writing again go get notebook and do some of the stuff I wrote! (novel idea, ey?) --- I already own EQDude.com now point it to MattPerelstein.com "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." - John Irving --- >> get a new/different keyboard or clean it better/again LBL on laptop how? Remote desktop only? IMS on their laptop --- PP = 1274 --- LI-EIN Charles W. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi, I Live in Sydney and I have 30 years experience in Family Therapy. I have struggled with this issue for many years. I have published papers on the effect of ' 1)The Pathological Triangle' as one cause of the emotional 'lack of intelligence'. 2) We are also taught that we will be 'judged' when we don't do things the 'right' way, what our culture defines as 'correct'. Here is one example: I had an Aboriginal client that brought his uncle who was 75 years old to a session, he told me that if you don't focus on judging children for what they can't do well but support them in all possible ways to encourage them to do what they do well!! That is the crux of how to gain emotional intelligence, all of us have our strengths and our weaknesses, focus on our strengths. 3) The other side: Kaballah and Contemplation are two meditative practices that also help us to attain Emotional Intelligence by releasing our hurts and abuses we have encountered in our lives. Those memories impede our Emotional Intelligence, with that release we gain 'real' empathy. Charles Westheafer --- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can also hurt me. Sticks and stones break only skin. while words are ghosts that haunt me. Pain from words has left its scar on mind and heart that's tender. Cuts and bruises now have healed, it's words that I remember. --- TEDxSF - Nicole Daedone - Orgasm: The Cure for Hunger in the Western Woman http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&vq=medium The Dalih Lama said that it will be western women who change the world. she says it will be turned-on women and those who dare to stroke us feeding our desire for connection that we all have. I have Melinda at noon and Ursula at 2 do graphics for video?!? EQ-101 Show 2 graphics... Melinda?!? --- 10:24 Tracy Kay called Josh has a game tonight v 7-7:30 timberwolf TD Ti and Sherry don't put energy anymore Hi, didn't want to carry that anger anymore scrimshaw there's my mom and dad had a purpose not any more simple, but not easy forgiveness, let it go it's ok orders by 30th, thurs. Mom came in, and she hung up! --- watching EQ-101.1 1st time terrible start, but I got clearer obviously not practiced, original thot --- automatically, instantaneously, continuously --- awareness is not the last step, it's the first step - mcp --- IMS Day 5, telecommuting wrote to both Shruti and Jim, so they know I'm on but... HSD ain't loading. VPN is on, connection "Excellent" 54MPS 10:49 youtube was going watching show1 but still no luck try wired, no called Samson .... getting Admin group from LDAP... you're not in the group "give me 5-10 min" "not the internet speed issue" --- 11:40 Hi Melinda, I'm excited to talk to you in a bit. More ideas: Here's the EQ-101 video I just did. It's my first, so it's ok, but it's not great. http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw How about if the home page opens to a "dashboard", showing all dif. things EQ, by subject depending on the customer's needs / interest Solution-based marketing like: EQ Emotional Healing EQ in Schools EQ for Families EQ at Work EQ for Results EQ for Couples EQ for Happiness EQ for Success EQ for Life! EQ for Teams EQ for Work Groups EQ in the Bedroom EQ for the Elderly EQ for Kids EQ for Dummies EQ for Veterans EQ for Caregivers EQ for Prisoners EQ for Teachers EQ for Individuals EQ for Groups EQ for Clubs EQ for Customer Service EQRocks! and a Search function, that filters among EQ-related sites Let's discuss. - Matt http://www.marlisekarlin.com/index.php/peace-portal http://www.peacelights.org/ --- , call Mendo guy (Marshall) ask Alex --- 2-3:00 UK (R02) D-R "What's your point" 1 sentence per --- Shane/Nykia I am asked (and I keep asking myself) "so, what's your point"? Therefore, I redid the document with ONLY that question in place... it's less than 1 page... lemme know what you think! EQforAll_points_20120824.doc --- 3:22 Hey Alex! Great job, so far, as a BOD member! You're on a roll... thanks. Hey, I'm looking for one of the cameramen from last year's MFF. He went to Mendo HS, graduated a few years, and now he's teaching there part-time. Super nice kid... do you remember his name? He does videos on the side and I can use some help putting one together. Thanks. Rock on! - Matt --- to Josh Lobue's first varsity game --- 8.25 job database marketing analyst sf --- 306 access tv at 4pm HDonly channel --- 1:40 Hi Marshall, (mr.superman13@gmail.com, bcc: Alex) I don't know if you remember me, but I'm on the MFF board and we met/talked at Crown during Take 7. We discussed that you have put films together and that I might need one done... and I do! The subject is Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and I am on a mission to bring EQ to the world. We are taught left-brain logic (IQ) in school, but the right-brain creativity and emotions (EQ) is mostly ignored, so we're not using our whole brain/heart to make decisions, and it's not going well. It's turning out that incorporating EQ into our lives can improve people, relationships, success, happiness, teamwork, business, crime, mental health, suicides, violence, and maybe even stop war! We've been teaching EQ for over 20 years and now it's time to get the word out correctly, and I need your help. I have hundreds of stills, many personal interviews (video and audio) on how cool EQ is and how it's changed people's lives, teachings, writings, and so on that I'd like to put together into a 5-7 minute INTRO to EQ... what it is, the (massive) benefits, how it works (basically) and where to go for more info. We just aired the first show of EQ-101 last week at MCTV (http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101, 28 minutes) and we've taped 2 more shows since (on Emotional Healing and Anger) but they must be edited first. They're ok, but they're way too long for popular consumption. I need a short, powerful intro to put on our websites (www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com and www.EQRocks.com), to load on YouTube and to give to people on DVD. Can you help? I have a small budget, that we can discuss. Timing is ASAP (no hard deadline... but the reality is that people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ). Let's talk! Thanks. Hope things are well. - Matt Perelstein 962-9006 --- Christine: He's isolated like the rest of us. We really don't know anyone yet. I'm hoping to maybe get him involved in a group of other gamers. He likes it here, but he's lonely. Brett is coming out to visit in a few weeks. He's the only family member (besides my brother and sister in law and their two kids) that we have any contact with. The rest of them, including my sister Lourie, we've had to "divorce" ourselves from. They lied about Mike and me, and the betrayal has wounded Mike very deeply. It's very sad what lengths some people will go to hurt others. While we've made amends with Brett, unfortunately, there's no repairing the relationship with the rest of them. Some betrayals just cut too deep. We've ran out of cheeks to turn. We've forgiven, but cannot forget how they viciously ganged up on us when we were the most vulnerable. Not our idea of what "family" represents. --- Jasen Mayersky 782 Watch Hill Lane Apt. A3. Traverse City, MI 49696 (248) 804-4142 2333621@facebook.com --- When things go wrong as they sometimes will When the road you're trudging seems all uphill When the funds are low, and the debts are high And you want to smile, but have to sigh When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but do not quit. Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you can never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems so far So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit It's when things go wrong that you must not quit. --- EQ Training and accreditation http://www.eiworld.org/index.shtml http://www.eiworld.org/traiteiaccred_index.shtml Defining Trait Emotional Intelligence Trait emotional intelligence covers perception of how well we deal with emotions. These perceptions play a critical role in our thoughts, feelings and behaviours & therefore influence our effectiveness and performance in everyday life. Emotional Intelligence Emotional Fitness Emotional Resilience --- mcp testimonial Sending my love & encouragement to you Matt, if I had a magic wand I would wish for such happiness & abundance, & that we all could fill you & Paula up with love to last a lifetime. What you two do for others DOES change the world, one person at a time, one day at a time. You touch the hearts of others because of your willingness to share your struggles as well as your triumphs. I really hope that you are willing to let go of the shame at having a hard time right now, I may be preaching to the choir but keep in mind that you are experienceing this because there is a very valuable lesson in it, we don't always go through things because we blew it. I have always told my kids "In life....you get the answers first...the question becomes clear later." Oh...THATS WHY! And I am willing to bet that your dogs will eat Top Ramen and still look upon you with unconditional love LOL. Sending love & light... Lourie (Brown) --- 12:00 Melinda (R01) 1 (218) 339-2626 ACCESS CODE 629-6811 definition visual statement this is a statement here's how to get started right into funnel solution 20 dif they're gonna get thru the site from the blog map it out categories thru blog develop hierarchy post about __ if they're searching, article will come up What is EQ What do I do about it 1. Sign up for ecourse 2. organize flow push to the family don't want to talk about training --- 2:58 uploaded 15 photos to new album on FB https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3914950466866.255434.1072573345&type=1&l=29e9af3e0a New job (and new commute)! --- 3:25 FB-NDG Ok, here's a 1-page outline on how I believe EQ can change our world! Whatchathink -- is it possible? --- 3:33 pm to house for a nap not watched movies all afternoon/evening with pkp dinner 11:30 ~10 orders some good (hand-)writing n garage --- 8.26 01:09 done with orders here --- EQRocks! Emotional Intelligence “Celebrating the power and joy of having high emotional intelligence (EQ)!” Curated by EQRocks 854 Views Pending suggestions 100 Scoop.it Score 86 Visitors 638 (+3) Created Mar 23 Created by EQRocks Updated Aug 20 Posts 143 Followers 18 Reactions 321 --- LI-EIN De B. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi everyone, I am De Backman-Hoyle from Melbourne, Australia My passion is mental health advocacy, with a special interest in mental health first aid and education within workplace environments. Helping managers understand the risks associated with not understand their own EQ abilities as well as creating a workplace environment that sees emotions as resources that can be explored for the benefits of all. I set up a business dedicated to this called Humanaging this is a separate business from my consultancy which has been established 17 years now. Thank you all for sharing your introductions - truly international insights With gratitude and respect to you all De --- 2-4:40ish pause --- 5:08 I'd like the CHOICE to have the timeline or not. You guys keep deciding FOR US, how we want things, and that's not cool. We want Choices... please. --- >> get info on insurance and towing for all 4 vehicles --- 05:41 Sunday morning. farted away the day yesterday, now I'm back in the saddle and got shit to do. >> ,LBL Autodesk2 ,orders (+1) ,fix fence ,D-R writings (first, dammit! most important) EQ-101 graphics ND Brochure (august rush soundtrack, deuling guitars(!) D-R (from notebook and hand written in garage) Teach the world a better way to live. How we to love if we've never seen it or experienced it! There are plenty of negative role models, let's give 'em positives so they can do it positively. It's called Emotional Intelligence (EQ)... and it very well change/save our world, from the inside out. The MAGIC of EQ! We're fighting evil with the only thing that beats it every time... MAGIC! fairies, pixie dust, love, smiles, belief, trust. --- if we're trusting and free, sometimes we get broken into. if we're super-controlling and don't trust anyone, sometimes we get broken into. how do you want to live? - We believe that the #1 best thing we do for the world... We believe the #1 biggest impact we can make on the future of our planet, it to teach people about themselves. we learn about how others do it, but not about how WE do it. we are all powerful... it's just how we use our power that is our greatest freedom! Our mission is to lead a worldwide movement towards Emotional Intelligence awereness, acceptance and skills necessary to make fully informed, adding right-brain feelings (EQ) to left-brain logic (IQ). Emotional ignorance leads to anger turned to violence, fear hidden and denied and not heeded, sadness turned bitter, low self-esteem to power and control issues. Emotional ignorant people can be dangerous, especially men. 70-95% of those involved in the following are men... and we believe emotional ignorant ones crime, suicide, mental health, domestic violence, sexual assault, most every war that's ever been faught has been a bunch of men attacking another bunch of men. behaviour-based they're not weather or nature-based, like tsunamis and earthquakes they're people-based, they're social problems so we need to answer them with social solutions. EQ teaches us how to be social. EQ shows us how we are being anti-social, and it lets us feel the magic in the connection with people. The magic isn't in the EQ, it's in us! EQ is the skill and the attitude and knowledge to that we get to choose, and to choose wisely. but the magic, still, is in the connection. suicide victims wanted someone to talk to, to hear them, to give a damn. domestic violence men want to be heard, and respected. sexual assualters were molested as a child, almost every single one. many mental health issues are being relieved just by feeling the feelings that the body was feeling when the feeling got stuck inside. Basic training in the military screams how NOT to feel... we need to do the opposite training, and just as intensely. (and for the last 3 years, we have lost more men to suicide than in combat... one per day now). How are you in an emergency? Do you let your emotions get the best of you? In an emergency, we need people to have EQ. As a dad, or a mom, we need people to have EQ. As a citizen, we need people to have EQ. and we can teach them! and we can teach them in a way that they will Want it and Accept it, and Use it, and Enjoy it. and live happier and more socially responsible because of it. Self-empathy leads to social empathy. Self-awareness leads to social awareness (how could it not?!) Self-knowledge leads to getting a clue and giving a shit. Self-acceptance leads to self-regulation. Self-understanding leads to self-control. We can make an impact. Let's all get together to promote EQ, together. In schools, in entertainment, in advertising (it's already happening) >> give examples of new slogans that are EQ-friendly Just Do It! etc. 3 Things We have the most Control of in Life: Head-Heart-Hand Show Tell Fun Play Give Get Run Walk Sing Dance Smile Share Hear Love Laugh Hug Light Easy Emotional Responsibility!!!! EQ --> ER! that's our big message to the world -- WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN THOTS, FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOURS! ALL of them! Every single one. we may not consciously generate each and every thought and feeling, but we DO consciously generate each and every BEHAVIOUR we do... so ACTing on a thought or feelings is completely, totally, 100% optional, and up to us. we are 100% responsible, even tho we are not 100% "in control", of our thoughts and feelings. we are 100% responsible AND we ARE 100% "in control" of our behaviours... every single one (except for some bodily functions) Find it, Own it, Enjoy it! - pretty black girl in SF pub - Come in with an open mind, and we'll help clean out the pain in your heart.(!) - >> do anger part 2 with Sharon The Power of Anger Venting is good IF you a) let go of some/all of your anger and/or b) change the meanings behind the anger, that generates (and re-generates) the anger make a new decision or decide to care less, make caring about something else MORE important, and caring about this LESS important, 2U. Not You made me angry. it's I got angry because I thot... or I felt... or I perceived... Manufactured Anger or Natural Anger dif. between triggering the feeling/flashback consciously or without your permission --- 06:43 fortune cookie mcp testimonial Don't underestimate yourself. Your social skills are needed by others at this time. --- 07:23 Ok, here's a 1-page outline on how I believe EQ can change our world! Whatchathink -- is it possible? EQforAll.pdf --- I don't want to be a controller, or a controlee. - mcp --- releasing negative feelings allows our 'default' to rise. the tough part is that you don't know that you don't know how to feel, until you find out how to feel... and then it may be too late... you're missing so much of life! you don't know until you know, ya know? - So am I suggested that people feel/vent/rage to their depths? mighty risky. Allow Accept Action! WARNING! WARNING(!) --- >> market EQ bumper stickers --- D-R all morning --- ,get new motion sensor lights for stairway and entranceway gave mine to Tom --- Awesome life, I can’t think of anything I would change right now. - Gloria - Yo! Good stuff. call me on my cell. discharged is a wonderful thing, right?!? and the job! you can let people off at the bus in Sac, so they finish their trip to Fresno/Clovis. paula's on new meds for 30-day trial, they said it was angina, stress-related, heart closes down. she's been fine this week, but last weekend she was not fine, so we'll see... some things we can control and some things we can't, right? Awesome life, I can't think of anything I would change right now. Yay and yahoo! So how much of that would you attribute to your super-high EQ? and "Life has no remote, get up and change it yourself." love it. and you. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: hey From: "Gloria Watson" Date: Sat, August 25, 2012 12:21 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Matt, So how was your first week? Are you tired? Do you like the work/people/place? How is Paula? You said she “seems” alright and that sent up a red flag for me. Do you think she is not telling you everything or are you just worried and scared? I understand being scared, it was pretty sudden. I will pray for you guys, you are both very important to me. I love you guys. Ask for what you need, please. I am still working on getting the RV to the point that I can use it for the class on 9/14. I got the job with URS starts 9/4. I told him that I will be taking the 14th and 17th off. Actually, it works out great because I told Ralph, my boss, and then I suggested that I make my training in Sacto the few days before or after class. He was good with that. I just work a full day instead of a half day to make up for it. Ralph seems very nice and the job looks interesting. I need to talk to Michele Soplata about the RV, but want to wait to confirm the dates before I do. She is riding with me. So, I will let you know if I have an extra bed soon as well. Oh, and I got invited to my 40th reunion yesterday, it is in Lake Stevens, WA . Rhonda, my friend, is organizing it from her home in Alaska. I told her that I can’t believe she actually found me. It starts on my birthday next year. I left Lake Stevens right after graduation and never went back. This is a laid back affair, a picnic, no dance or dinner to dress up for. We had something like 75 graduates that year. Cost is $35. Also, I found out that both of my mortgages were discharged in bankruptcy, so I am trying to find out how I get clear title. Not sure it works, but have to ask. If I can get that mess out of the way, I can stop worrying about Saundra and Keith and where are they gonna live. I am thinking of selling my mobile home because it is too expensive for me to move and I do not want to live in a park. It is still worth $70k, but I think if I allow $5k for paint and carpet, I will try to get $60k for it. I like that you are using the jpg for your posts on FB as I have with my signature. Awesome life, I can’t think of anything I would change right now. Gloria “Life has no remote, get up and change it yourself.” --- Hi Matt, Yes, the job's at 111 Sutter and Montgomery. www.IMSHealth.com I still need a new input data, tho, don't I? Your old spreadsheets used to contain the worksheets: tblRevenueFlatFileFinal tblCustomerFilteredIncluded Als, then new file has, tblRevenueIndSizeFile_Unknown_Test_File-and-Reqs_20120819_v1.xlsx, it contains the worksheet tblRevenueIndSizeFile - INPUT... but I thought tblRevenueIndSizeFile gets populated during the process, so I'm not understanding how it's an INPUT. explain, send, call or all 3. thanks. - Matt 707-962-9006 --- Ok, it's now available online! I hope I was able to properly introduces you to the surprising power and joy of EQ. Gentle feedback is always welcome and appreciated. EQRocks! http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101 --- Gloria, (R03) ND testimonial dammit you can choose to live your life in fear or you can choose to not live your life in fear --- PP = 1245 +1 order yesterday +1 order today (sub) PPDU = 347 --- 6:04 Andrew Wegner mcp testimonial Hey matt.. hows it goin... i was just wanted say thank you.. thank you for having been a big part of my childhood and having done alot for me over the years.. well im getting married on sept. 22 and my family and i would love to have you and a paula be there. I would tell you the name of the church and when but iv been kinda left out of the loop on the whole planning Lol. But either i can get it for you or my mother has all that information... like i said i cant thank you enough for all the great memory's and im sure many more to come.. so with that said, take care and we hope to see you there. - Hey dude -- thanks for the super nice note -- and CONGRATS on your upcoming marriage (wherever it may be!). Actually, will it be in Fort Bragg, or do you know?!? We'd love to come and celebrate with you! I'm working in downtown San Francisco now (started last week), but I'll be home that weekend. So how was boot camp... is it as bad as the stories say? Where are you heading next? Rachel said you might want to park your truck here for awhile, and that would be Ok with us (as long as you give me the keys... just kidding). As you know, you're one of my very favorite people in FB, and certainly one of my favorite of Rachel's friends. I connected with you from the beginning, when we very first met, and I'm not planning on changing that any time soon! I don't know if you're gonna be in town the weekend before the wedding, Sept. 14, but we're gonna have the first ND class in FB... finally... and we'd love to have you attend (we've been trying to arrange that for years!). We teach stuff you just don't learn elsewhere. Anyway, when you get more info, please let me know and we'll be there. Anything special you want/need? Take care and thanks again for the nice note and for being my friend. l8r t8r. - Matt --- You can't always be nice. That's how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries. --- Successful people Have a sense of gratitude Forgive Others Give other people credit for their victories Accept responsibility for their failures Compliment Read every day Keep a journal Talk about ideas Want others to succeed Share Information and data Keep a "to-do/Project" list Exude joy Keep a "to be" list Set goals and develop life plans Continuously learn Embrace change Operate from a transformational perspective Unsuccessful People Have a sense of entitlement Hold a grudge Take all the credit of their victories Blame others for their failures Criticize Watch TV everyday Say they keep a journle but really don't Talk about people Secretly hope others fail Horde information and data Don't know what they want to be Exude anger Fly by the seat of their pants Never set goals Think they know it all Fear change Operation from a transactional perspective --- 7:17 Did you know that ordering Euc BRANCHES is the best deal (IMHO)? With branches, you get leaves, chew sticks and thicker branches, all together. --- 8pm got most of Autodesk2 done but none of LBL or EQ-101 graphics, or ND brochure packing to go back to SF early tomorrow morn. --- 8:08 Hi Melinda, Please briefly recap what your plans are for EQRocks.com in the two weeks. Just bullet points are fine, but I need to present our plans to my investor. Can you do a nice template that I can use for PPT graphics for my next video?!? I'd like to make nicer graphics for the upcoming shows, similar but prettier than those used on this one ... http://archive.org/details/7182-EQ101 We discussed that I have gobs of still pics that you can use... they are here: Go to: ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com/images ID: sliloh@eqrocks.com / Password: 2gethelp Thanks! - Matt --- 8:15 Hey Jerry, So how'z your database working out? Anything need changin'? Since I'm working in SF, I'm not ref'n soccer this year... first time in 5 years... kinda sad, really. Hope you're well. - Matt --- 10ish pack and to bed (with leg elevated, still) --- 8.27 03:00 up, shower, load car 03:44 here, and go. try to make 07:50 ferry bye... - 07:08 some good writing ferry parking lot talking to pkp, wake her up for work change (in car) 07:50 ferry, with Harleigh, nice Advil (motrin) 800mg, every 4 hours, + alternate heat and ice 08:25 SF 08:40 here, week 2 wow, that went by sooo fast! nice day! wore a sweater, rather than my big, thick sweatshirt good, but can't wear sweater in office (too warm) - got padding, tape to top of recycle bin to elevate leg under desk --- ,ND testimonial mcp testimonial Lourie Brown shared your link: "New Directions is a program that I have been involved in off & on for wow 15 years or more. It has changed the course of my life and helped me to keep working towards learning how to do things differently. Paula & Matt are AMAZING!!!!" --- I'm a master at finding stuff to do to occupy my time. not always a priority, or even stuff I want to do... just the most obvious, sometimes. --- ,Advil banana, apple, oatmeal --- Marshall wrote back and said YES, he'd like to talk about video... yay! --- ,first order is Tina Reigert --- Karen (LBL) wrote and apologized for being late (woohoo... I thot I was) --- Hi! I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working most of this week, so I'll get your order out on Friday. You should receive it Monday or Tuesday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Hey Marshall, Thanks for the reply... I'm excited that we will be able to work together! I just started last week working in downtown San Francisco, but I get to telecommute from home on Fridays. Are you available either Friday or any time over the weekend? Thanks. Look forward to it! - Matt 962-9006 home, 916-599-8597 cell --- 1:37 Hey CJ (Butcher), thanks for lunch… most enjoyable (and yummy)… let’s do it again! I owe you. Below is the spelling of my name. That would be something if you find me in your yearbook. If you do, please bring it to work with you sometime. c-ya. - Matt --- Nykia, Thanks much for your concern for my feelings... I REALLY appreciate it! A few responses, please : - This is more important than my feelings (people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ) - This is a super rough draft... in fact, I already updated it some and posted it to the ND group (and received no responses or Likes). Therefore, picking apart the words ain't gonna help... yet... I'm looking for concept, first. The 6-pager I sent you the first round was ok, but it didn't get the full impact of what's possible with EQ, so I started completely over with this first draft, using the same template/outline, and I'm building on it from there. - At this stage, I'm more interested in whether it sounds feasible/viable or not, as I don't want the foundation to do a 'yeah, right' and just toss it. It IS possible, and the world IS changable with EQ... if I/we can design it and explain it clearly, powerfully and completely. - Actual "criticizm" is tough to take... like "that won't work" or "that sounds terrible", and other negatives like that. What's way more helpful to me is stuff like, "say more about this", or "can you put it a different way, as I'm not seeing that it's do-able with what you've said" or other encouragement to keep going... not discouragement about what's been done. So, again. YES, I want you to be totally honest (yet gentle) and I DO want to hear what you and Shane really think (that's why I asked you guys). No word-smithing yet... just overall feedback is cool, for now. We'll flush it out more as we go. THANKS again! - Matt --- It feels better to put my leg up, but then I fall asleep way more often! Talked to Edie (ex-MD) re: knee she said either have it drained or ICE (Ice, Compress, Elevate) "you gotta do something" xSandy Brown on Friday? --- 4pm 1:45 left (I hate watching the clock all day... what a waste) 4:45 1:00 left! (good grief) --- ,make appt with Sandy Brown for Friday to (maybe) get knee drained --- Knee effusion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_on_knee Knee effusion or swelling of the knee (colloquially known as water on the knee) occurs when excess fluid accumulates in or around the knee joint. There are many common causes for the swelling, including arthritis, injury to the ligaments or meniscus, or when fluid collects in the bursa. This condition is known as prepatellar bursitis. The swelling can, in most cases, be easily cured. Treatment of fluid in the knee depends on the underlying cause of the swelling. General measures such as rest, ice, and analgesics such as acetaminophen and NSAIDS are often recommended. Treatments for Fluid on the Knee http://www.ehow.com/way_5306315_treatments-fluid-knee.html Reduce with the ICE Method The first, and simplest method, to reducing swelling of the knee, is to apply the ICE method. (I)ce, (C)ompress and (E)levate. Prop the injured knee up to a height above waist level, then apply an ice-pack to the joint for at least twenty minutes. Be sure and place a thin cloth between the ice pack and your skin to avoid frostbite. Keep the knee elevated throughout treatment, and then wrap the knee in a compression bandage, such as an Ace Bandage, after treatment, to provide support for the knee until it heals. This method is very successful in most cases. Take Medication and Rest the Knee Use NSAID's (Non-steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs) such as Tylenol, Advil, Aleve or Aspirin. These drugs were made to reduce swelling and stiffness, and when combined with the above treatment can prove highly successful at reducing most cases of fluid on the knee. Be sure and check with your doctor about dosage and side-effects of these drugs. Use common sense and rest the injured knee. Stay off it, and do not attempt anything other than basic mobility until the fluid is reduced. Last Resort - Medical Assistance --- 5:36 Marshall Sunday is dandy. What time and where? Did you want to come over (I live near Gibney near Caspar) and see some of the goodies I have, or I could come to your place, as I have them on a portable drive... your call. - matt --- 5:45 Jim talks to me about modifying my schedule 6:20 ferry super-nice weather, stood outside with Alex, who had just sarted at Accenture! first job at Cisco pkp, got paycheck, $2.5k, expected, but after doing the math, it's very sad :( --- 8.28 (HB2TracyKay!) 05:58 move stuff from here (LBl) into mcp --- tomorrow is my grandparents' anniversary. ours too. hmmm... --- autorenewed 2getsomefuckinghelp.com lol, just for fun --- 06:15 signed in to lbl's Google Apps account http://apps.google.com lbl.gov / email just like Gmail, but private for a company. very cool. consider it for MFF --- 07:09 wrote up requirements after visit sent to Karen --- 07:11 go!! 07:25 out 07:35 thru gate sat on end chairs with Harleigh talk about how job is not-worth it she disagreed 08:20 nice walk to work walked one road too far, to Montgomery write to josh --- Paul, Let's meet with VMC, you and I, as I still believe they are one of our best resources. I want to see where they're at now, and how we can work together in the future. I'm home on Fridays. - Matt --- pear, banana, oatmeal --- Verizon (2gh) $226 past due ,call PkP and I can pay called and scheduled it for tomorrow, joint won't get cut off --- ,look for hole-punch to attach clipper card to IMS badge --- Off Monday for Labor day IMS Holidays 2012: Monday, September 03, 2012 Labor Day Thursday, November 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day Friday, November 23, 2012 Day after Thanksgiving Monday, December 24, 2012 Christmas Eve Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Christmas Monday, December 31, 2012 New Year's Eve --- Hi Chris, We could get together after work today or tomorrow, or next week. I ride the 6:20 ferry which arrives in Larkspur at 6:50, then I can drive to wherever you want to meet. your call. - Matt ,meet Chris Moshy at Marin Brewpub at 7. --- Hi Samson. I have another question, much less important... I noticed that you had put a hole in your Clipper card so it would attach with your badge... how did you make the hole? And does it matter which end of the card you punch so that the hole doesn't ruin the card? --- lunch with CJ good, fun --- PP = 1187 -40 Clipper (ferry) -45 safeway (+20) -17 Walgreens (ACE bandage and hot/cold compress) -117 USPS +3 orders today +4 orders yesterday --- 4:49 Hi Shruti, Thank you for your concern for my welfare! The problem is mostly the first day of each week. So I'm not driving to or from home in the middle of the night, If I came in later on that day, work a shorter day, then spread the hours across the rest of the week, it should come out Ok. Please let me know your thoughts. Hours Day/Schedule Next week: off Monday 6 Tuesday: leave home at 7, work Noon - 6 8 Wednesday: 9-6 8 Thursday: 7-4, home by nightfall 8 Friday: WFH 7-4 --- 30 hrs Normal week: 6 Mondays: leave home at 7, work Noon - 6 8 Tuesdays: 9-6 8 Wednesdays: 9-6 8 Thursdays: 7-4, home by nightfall 8 Fridays: WFH 7-4 --- 38 hrs - Lol! I’ll give it a try next week, and we’ll see how it works out. Thanks again. - Matt From: Gangadhar, Shruti (San Francisco) Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2012 5:03 PM To: Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) Subject: RE: Proposed Work Schedule Sounds good… You could choose to come in later than 7AM on Thursdays and leave by 4pm …unless of course it works better for you that way and you’d like to have the entire office to yourself ? Regards, Shruti --- out, to ferry, then meet with Chris 7:10 cerveza's Marin Brewery burgers and brews. Chocolate + Blonde = yum mixing beers is fun, and yum, and it's a very cool way to get the waitress and bartender(s) involved(!) had to explain EQ to Chris Chris, here's a few little tricks you might try, like I said, you don't have to do much different to teach EQ, it's just a subtle shift in intention to teach about feelings, and our emotional responsibility for each. Instead of "How are you" or "How was your day", ask "Whatcha feeling?" what are your biggest feelings right now? be willing to share yours, too, and it makes an awesome connection. what's real is what we feel. what's sacred is what we think about, when we're alone. what matters is what we want outta life, and what we're willing to put in to make it happen. Teach project management, for real life. us being successful as people is about us managing Ourselves. what if you were a consultant, and you see your kid trying to 'manage his business' as best he can. sometimes they do it beautifully, almost magically. sometimes they struggle, and stumble, and even fall and get hurt. so you, coach, are about helping this person be the best person they can be. that does NOT mean (anymore) to "follow all rules", sit up straight, listen to your teacher, work hard, and someday, you can get a 'good job' and be set for life. no mas. that was our parents' fear-based society. tons of 'Shoulds', gobs of fear, that the kids just don't have anymore. today's kids are the first kids ever to Not be afraid of adults. they Know how far you can 'punish' them. they Know you can't touch them, so there ain't no corporal punishment, any more. so we gotta reach them another way. I think that one of things I would be proudest of, is when our kids grow up and they actually DO want to be like us! many of us saw our parents unhappy, and unfulfilled. doing the 'right things', but not very friggin' happy about it. --- Attitudinal Healing Gerald Jompalski Contact us Voicemail number (415) 457-1000 Leave a message and someone will get back to you. Email: centerforah@gmail.com 415- www.cah-nothbay.org --- I thought Karen was mad at me for taking so long to get that document to her. but, I found out that she actually felt BADly that she hadn't contacted me! which, of course, changes everything for me. I immediately, the next day, jumped in and did what I hadn't gotten to before. Requirements Document - Berkeley Labs lbl.gov Analyzed existing 15-user databases, led JAD sessions, wrote requirements document and new ERD, augmented schema, migrated databases and significantly enhanced application functionality, delivered, tested, installed, trained and done, all in 6 weeks. Chris, Here's the foundation app I'm applying for, http://www.drkfoundation.org/ and here's a rough beginning on what I want to propose. it can only be 3 pages, but I thought I'd better start with the basic points and build from there. there's a whole side of us that we don't know/perceive/encourage/trust/allow. Find out about it. Discover it. Discover the rest of yourself! I'm not saying you're broken, or sick, or in any way critical... only mis-informed, and dis-informed. I wasn't high, I wasn't wired, I was just clear. I knew what I wanted and how to get it. - "Enhanced Eddie", Limitless --- 10:10+ netflix: Limitless --- Rational Self-interest People are rational, and selfish - Adam Smith never pay a cent more than he must. invisible hand that keeps the whole economy together. behavioural economics. Predictions of model. Mind Over Money: Nova show words skipping around on top of pics of a face, up close, thinking, feeling at 46:30 http://movies.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=70138091&trkid=2692263&pt_request_id=6e1e86d2-3f60-4fa0-b34b-2f63d1903bc7-465566&pt_rank=3&pt_row=0&pt_location=WATCHNOW --- Mind Over Money http://movies.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=70138091&trkid=2692263&pt_request_id=6e1e86d2-3f60-4fa0-b34b-2f63d1903bc7-465566&pt_rank=3&pt_row=0&pt_location=WATCHNOW model of consumer behaviour we never buy compute our pleasure over time they don't do the calc economics doesn't say people behave as if... crash of 2008, loss 40% $14T in wealth is gone since the great depression hunger, war, strife, unemployment economics didn't see it rif bet. economics and behaviouralists rational, or do our emotions and psychology effect us more than we realize. auctioned a $20 bill, sold for $28. why? emotional desire to win, fear of being a loser. irrational $100 in a year ->$102 in a year and a day ->$100 today $102 tomorrow bid on wine calc what it's worth last 2 digits of SSN anchoring higher #'s bid higher, consistently. dif. between lab and real world. we actually got in over our heads, but I made it happen and used it to push me and make me MORE successful. brain scan about emotion Brian Knutson(sp?) lower areas go further back in evolution nucleus s__ most primal human needs food, sex, air activates crutial in drug addiction what excited as food and drugs money! it's not the money, it's what it means to you/us. emotional excitement Robert Shiller, Yale predicted the crash driven by human emotion makes rational economists reject the idea of bubbles bubbles tulips bulb prices rose and rose half of dutch economy financial bubble buying them primarily bec. price was going up so they could sell it dropped, plunged, backrupt a generation to recover 1929 US stocks booming roaring 20's, bubble Oct. 29, prices dropped panic and fear 9000 banks failed, wiped out millions 25% unemployment change in psychology up in 20's, down in 30's John Maynard Caine emotions can cause prices to soar, and then collapse need precise mathematical model to show how emotions effect purchases how much would you pay for the mug? $6 avg given same mug for nothing how much would you sell it for? rational says it should be $6 avg, $9, owning it for an hour unexpected outcome socal phychologist, do experiments in the lab outside conscious awareness sadness, and how it effects at such a low level, people aren't aware of them Dr. Lerner 17:52 baseline, watch scene from sad movie triggers low-level sadness completely unaware financial test, choices how much would you pay compared to not shown video $2.50 sad, $10 increased valuation when you're sad high stakes, same effect what about markets and larger economy Shiller humans are uniquely empathetic animals I'm feeling the same, in my body, too could empathy explain how the jump in housing industry and drop the market is representation of optimistic or pessimistic D-R "emotions drive the market." 13:10ish what is the market telling us today. no gov't is nec. as market will always set to what's right --- 11:30ish off to bed (couch, towel under, light blanket over, 44, on L side, pillow between knees to elevate) cold compress on knee now, first good contact, as yesterday I did it 2-3x, but with jeans and ace no cold. -- 8.29 HA2G&G, HA2JRP, HA2Me 05's phone has nice alarm on it. touch it, and it snoozes 5/10 min. so I've been doing that, a lot. love that feeling of being able to do that, without worry up, clean, dishes (made salad last night -- spinach, good lettuce, cucs, tomato. , bring up my big dressing that's under the counter... honey mustard, I presume 06:15 so, I had dinner and a beer (shoulda had 2) with Chris last night. made a good connection. handled myself well. didn't interupt him, didn't talk too much, listened, too. he had me talking for awhile, with questions, and unwavering eye contact. Changing the world from the inside out. - Chris Moshy --- EQ4All Changing the world from the inside out. EQ for All - The mission and objectives of the organization 2GetHelp’s mission is to transform our world by introducing right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to the masses. We will lead a movement to introduce and train all people towards enhanced emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ provides the framework for a foundational shift in human consciousness that could very well change/save our planet. 2GetHelp’s mission is to reduce behavior-based social problems -- including suicide, addictions, crime, mental health, sexual assault, violence, even war – by teaching people how to make more informed decisions, by employing both their left- and right-brain, logic and emotion, head and heart and hand. through enhanced self-awareness, socialization training and life skills development. - Your articulated theory for social change. EQ -> ER -> PR -> SR -> Social Reform • Emotional Intelligence (EQ) leads to Emotional Responsibility (ER) Understanding and accepting that we generate our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours gives us and a sense of ownership, a sense of power and control often lacking in life. • Emotional Responsibility (ER) leads to Personal Responsibility (PR) If they’re my feelings, I want to generate good ones, so I create safety, security and love in my heart, friends and work • Personal Responsibility (PR) leads to Social Responsibility (SR) If I care about me and my feelings, it naturally leads to me caring for others, as well. To have friends, work and purpose, I must work and play well with others. I don’t want to hurt you, because that hurts me. • Social Responsibility (SR) leads to Social Reform (World Peace!) With enhanced EQ, I am more likely to live honorably, honestly, and healthily, feeling significant and connected, thus reducing suicide, crime, mental health, divorce, addictions, violence and maybe someday, even war. - How you will improve on existing efforts. Better intel leads to better decision-making. Add right-brain creativity and feeling (EQ) to traditional left-brain schooling on logic and reason (IQ). IQ + EQ = LOL !! Incorporate the whole system/body/person to provide more/better info to make better, more responsible, more informed decisions. Reach out toschools, the entertainment industry, to the federal, state and local governments - How your approach is systemic and unique. Change from the inside out. Core foundational shift, adding heart to head. A new way to think and act, that works for everyone. - A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan for its first three years. Coordinate a movement to create a worldwide 24x7x365 EQ-friendly environment, teach/show the benefits, results and wonder so people will embrace EQ in their home, school and work. Emergency services. Links to local resources. Support, encouragement, direction, training. Have people take EQ-101, it’s free. Us and other pros teach EQ-102, 103, etc. EQ-201 is free. Certificate. Evidence-based EQ training. EAP programs. Develop EQ brick-and-mortar local 2GetHelp Wellness Centers (including a scream room) EQ training and therapeutic local brick and morter. For-profit or non-profit, from in-home rural to multi-outlet retail stores. Franchise. EQ regional and local training centers - An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. a) taught thousands face-to-face, long term contact (3 generations),who have shown dramatic improvements, and decreased issues. b) research studies, both subjective and objective research and testing, show evidence-based intervention - An explanation of how the organization will reach national or global scale. collaborate, cooperate and instigate to create worldwide network of peers and pros connected via a safe, supportive “family” environment using all forms of medium on-line, by-phone, in-person to connect, learn and grow, together. - An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. earn it, ask for it, borrow it or print it ourselves(!) --- 07:06 rush again! shower and go (and don't forget the stick!) bye. have a good day. (made it easily) chat with Harleigh re: Claire's emotional breakdowns beautiful day (again!) got green tie-dyed peace shirt for PR, $30, , I only had $19 but market guys said, "are you sure that's enuf?", so we split it at $15 7-8 blocks up Market to Sutter, 1 block to Montgomery 10-12 minutes, walking briskly --- WageWorks, $100/mo on Clipper card for ferry starting Sept. 30 Wells Fargo CA Routing Number 121042882 https://www.wellsfargo.com/help/routing_number/ --- When making big change in our life, it can be easier to break it up into a few small changes to avoid overwhelm. you will benefit enormously if you simply strive to be a good person. Strive to live rightly. "People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." - Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross --- Hi Matt - just thinking about you today - how is your job hunt going? I'm "feeling the burn" of having a lot to do before heading off to Asia Oct 1 -- but all is going well and it's exciting. Synapse is just starting up and we've got an AMAZING group of teachers, and we've developed some very cool new opportunities for EQ education this year -- Susan & Alex & Barb are off to the Bahamas tonight to kick off a year-long program with 9 schools... plus another project in China... plus another in India... I'm stoked. Warmly, - Josh Wow, josh, congrats on all that interest in bringing EQ to the schools! That's fantastic news. Too bad it's all so far away, ey? The US will follow soon (right?). I sure wish I could be involved. Un/fortunately, I have two jobs right now. One in downtown San Francisco, working for a company that analyzes medical healthcare data - visits, diagnoses, treatments, etc - for insurance companies and other payers. It's a 'good job', but I don't want a 'good job'... I want to teach EQ (dammit!). --- I keep nodding off today. funny, as I thot I got enuf sleep last night. apparently not (sitting back in my chair with my knee iced and elevated) --- Hey Chris, It was great meeting you for cervezas last night. We always have plenty to talk about, and I'm glad you're getting to spend some time with your boys... you've earned that! FYI: Here's the VC firm's foundation site that I mentioned to you, http://www.drkfoundation.org/. Attached is a rough outline on what I intend to propose. The completed app can only be 3 pages long, so I thought I'd better start with the basic points and build it from there. I'd appreciate any feedback you're willing to provide. Thanks again. Talk to you soon. - Matt p.s. - I love the new working title "Changing the World from the Inside Out" -- thanks for that! --- 1ish lunch to Galleria mall next door looking for something for Tracy Kay nice, but expensive burrito special, $6.50... pretty good --- ,ND testimonial www.mattperelstein.com Brad Herbold City: Fresno Message: HI Matt (N Paula) Thanks for letting me "play" this weekend. It was GREAT. What a pleasure it was to meet you and get to know you, a little. Good Stuff, Good Stuff. I look forward to May! ND works! Too bad NIKE took "Just Do It" because it would fit ND SOOOOOO much better! Good on Ya! --- 4:20, 1.5x more >> ,Chris Josh Paul (VMC) ,Sandy Brown 964-9168 ,$15 cash for vendor ,gift for Tracy ,Costco, flashlight and MS lights ,2 jobs maybes today, (1 is 100% telecommute in NJ) 0.5 more... cleaning off Payson thumbdrive backed up to DROID deleted old apps Haney, CDSS2, Cisco, DresserRand, etc. 2Gb total, now 555Mb free 5:33 go... --- we rob people of the freedom to choose when we don't offer them the alternative. please do it. It’s all a choice, and it’s all up to us how we take things. We can be happy, if we choose to, or we can be miserable, either way, it’s up to us. We can get angry, or not. We can make our fear look like anger, and lash out at others with it, or not. We could be in a POW camp, and somehow keep a reasonably positive attitude toward life. choice - freedom Choice - above-average --- watched movie on NetFlix on the history of Linux left NetFlix logon info for Tom "Revolution OS" 3 poops big salad and cereal --- 11ish crash --- 8.30 05:00 up to alarm, poop 3x --- MFF new email: Christine Wagner christine.wag1961@gmail.com --- "Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us." - Sir Thomas Brown Our actions shape our lives, but what we don't take action on can be just as powerful. the word salvation in the Bible means perfect health, harmony, and freedom. - NDWalsch --- Ed Rowe • Hi. I'm an editorial project manager working and living near Oxford UK and I'm interested in understanding more about EQ and how it can help me in my working life. I hope to learn from and contribute to the discussions here, as a starting point. To me, interactivity between people (relationships) is the fundamental driver in all walks of life - even if one is interacting/acting on the basis of ignorance rather than insight. --- 05:37 D-R wording: mission Help people to join forces, to connect, to get together for the purpose of making a difference. I want us to set an example Coordinate the network and lead the world toward unity, and kindness. What if we could light up the world, from the inside? EQ is inexpensive, straight-forward, easy to understand (tho sometimes painful, the potential for highs worth the risk of possible lows. maybe I should write it in very few words. maybe not even paragraphs. if you assume they're smart people reading this, >> find % men in the big social ills suicides incarcerated addictions both consciously and unconsciously, not knowing our own emotions can create a core feeling of powerlessness, and lack of control. Teaching people about themselves helps them take that power back, and gives them the motivation, courage and drive to make their lives look the way they want, in a more personally responsible way. taking responsibility for one's own thoughts, feelings and behaviours changes everything. core responsibility power and control trust faith pride will =, not < strength courage hope Taking responsibility for our feelings puts us in control of our life! - mcp --- 06:18 FB: Melann posted old, old pics of us and other NDers at IC grad, etc. ,ND testimonial MCP testimonial PKP testimonial Matt and Paula..the number of people u two have helped is still going on and on. My time with u was by far the most important time of my life..for oh so many reasons!! I will always love u two...Ty Ty You like this.. Matt Perelstein You're awesome, too, Melann! Thanks for being a loyal friend for so long as I feel like we kinda 'grew up' together... lov you! NDersOfOld- Doc Ken Jan Dave and Saundra Susan K. Sharon Kris Candy --- "Golden Rule of leadership - treat your employees the way you want your customers to be treated." :) - Josh Freedman --- LI Profile IMS Health Healthcare Data Analyst Create and publish complex queries and reports on gobs (petabytes) of medical claims data (patients, doctor/hospital visits, diagnoses, treatments and prescriptions) using a propriety tool (called Health Smart Designer) and SQL Server 2008. petabytes of data, 10^15, a million billion byte, kilobytes, megabytes, gigabytes, terabytes, petabytes Changing the World from the Inside Out! How adding right-brain EQ to our left-brain IQ can improve decision-making, heal pain, reduce social problems and save our planet! --- 07:10 STOP TYPING! wash hair in sink pack, clean, go! talk to pkp '4-day weekend'! 07:40 clipper beep! 07:46 'we're sold out, sorry' --- 08:42 here (IMS) --- ,stop by apt. after to get milk, etc? costco ,chicken ,MS lights / flashlight ,Hamburger? , Josh Paul (VMC) xSandy Brown 964-9168 ,lube tubes @ Safeway --- water, banana, ice on knee another beautiful day, weather wise 1 pic of SF from a distance chatted with Christine, a PM with Adobe, on the ferry feelin' kinda nauceuos right now --- Euc Testimonial Oh my goodness, I stopped to pick up my mail on my way to work yesterday afternoon and low and behold there was my Euc already. I could smell it as soon as I opened the mail box. I had to leave it in my car during work and my car smelled wonderful when I came out to go home, I hadn’t even opened the box yet. Lucky you that gets to live where these trees grow and have such a wonderful fragrance. It is awesome. It is the first time I have smelled “real” Euc. I will have to wash the leaves and such tomorrow, so hopefully they will be OK in the fridge for a day. Then I think I will freeze some. Will try the little branches for the birds after I get them rinsed off. Thank you so much, I already have some of the dried ones spread around the house. Mary E Hemmah --- CJ, to Subway about 12:00?? internet was down most of the morning he sent link to: http://generalhharnold.ning.com/ , check it out (later) cj@cjbutcher.com --- Jim stopped by to chat was an MD, internal and pulminary Aaron, 22, DDE Jordan, 18, ADD 3:30 mtg (finally) then go! 5:00 ferry with Bob, the financial planner in a bowtie and rolex Costco Target Old Navy Moylan's John S. Giants game 9/4? go nap drive 02:58 Exploring our feet through self-reflexology can be an easy and free way to support our mind, body and spirit. --- Euc Testimonial Got my first package from you today!! Thank you so much!! My sugar glider LOVES it and I'll be sharing it with my sisters sugargliders when I see her this weekend!!! Will def be ordering from you again!!! You all are the greatest!! - JGG --- Self-Mastery, by Daniela Falecki PART 1 - Be your own best friend PART 2 - Trust yourself to grow wisely PART 3 - What about when it feels it all goes wrong? PART 4 - Question your identity & work with your inner characters PART 5 - Know when to DO and when to ALLOW --- , Pay ,HughesNet WFMC pause... 06:.. PP = 1198 (yay, after spending lots on livin' and commutin') we did it -- we made it 'til my first decent paycheck in 3 months(!) With my ailing memory, I'm thinking of changing my passwords to "incorrect". That way, when I try the wrong password, the computer will tell me "your password is incorrect." --- Dr. Jack Bellah, ortho North Coast Family Health Center 721 River Dr Ste B, Fort Bragg, CA 95437 964-6910 Orthopaedic Surgery Special Expertise: Ankle Elbow General Orthopaedics Hand Hip Knee Shoulder Trauma Wrist Joint Replacement http://www.vitals.com/doctors/Dr_Jack_Bellah.html#ixzz2591MxunX needs referral 3 weeks, Th/Fri only Dr. Lago 961-4550 no referral needed new, $141, 11? --- 10:38 to Dr. Lagomasino 515 Cypress 11-noon it's blood, and if it's lessening, let's leave it and not drain it, yet half-price, $70 appt in 3 weeks. yay lunch with pkp at Asia Buffet (so-so) 1:30 home e's LBL wrote to karen to ask re: progress on requirements doc --- 2 (R04) UK D-R resultinteaching understanding, great stuff re: the magic of connection and trauma from failed connections and EQ gives to tools the reason the strength the skill --- 3:29 Hey Kirk, I'm not gonna ref HS soccer this year, as I'm now working in downtown San Francisco. Would you please take me off your mailing list, for now. Thanks. Best wishes with everything! - Matt --- off to do orders (ran outta time, so only did 4x) Bella to get checkup, shots, $80 USPS (4x) movies (incl. x) Safeway, deposit first IMS check, salami/cheese/trisquits, v (USA gas is closed to tank repair) dinner, movie (PKP) almost. didn't go well 11-11:30ish went out to do orders (didn't close bags) --- 9.1 05:52 up 06:55 HughesNet $169.98 Joint V Conf #32536939 --- , ask Igor to pay, again he said he would on Tuesday xget new repeater for PKP (Windows 7) works fine, when Work Offline is not checked! >> ,AD2 ,MFF - contact list, gmail ,MMF, and invoice JerryMurphy ,orders (4+, today?) ,GC/FB note FB ND class? Josh ,Doc xIMS download of HSD using VDI Invoice: ,XRG ,MMF xMAC? EQ-101.2 graphics ND brochure wording --- CJ sent pic of me from 9th grade from HHArnold on Ning - wow... cool hair. let's see yours, and your sisters (just in case). --- working on MMF for hours. thought it would just take a few, but got it! - 09:26 Ok, it's done, Brian! (see attached) 2,709 records created Table: TicketsSub-BOW-IMPORT This file is .ZIPped, so Outlook strips off Access attachments. These records need to be imported into your 'real' table: TicketsSub so, either... Copy and Paste the data: a) Open this database/table b) Select All -> Copy c) Open TicketsSub d) Go to a new record and click to the far left to select that entire row e) Paste or Use an Append Query to copy the data: a) Import this table into your database b) Make a new query, type = Append Query c) Find the new temp table: TicketsSub-BOW-IMPORT d) Save into the old table: TicketsSub e) Map each field (except TicketID) f) Run query (should say 2,709 successfully appended) Call or write if you need/want help. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. - Matt 916-599-8597 (cell) --- http://theamericanscholar.org/living-with-voices/ If this sounds like the style of therapy found in the old dissociative disorders groups, back before the scandals of repressed memory blew the protocols apart, that is because it is. In the treatment of multiple personality disorder (now chastely renamed dissociative identity disorder), therapists were encouraged to talk directly with the personality “parts.” These parts, called alters, were invited to group therapy meetings. The therapists treated the alters with respect and as if they were real. --- 9:30-11 (PKP) almost, again. not as bad, but still distant --- 11:41 sorry Elizabeth, since I've been working in SF, it's messed up my schedule. I've started on the Show 2 slides, and I'll try to get those done for you by the end of this weekend. Show 1 airs 4 times, so 3 more, right? When's the next showing? Just for fun, we're entering our dog in the Ugly Dog contest this afternoon. Are you guys filming any of the weekend's events? Thx. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: what is happening? From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Sat, September 01, 2012 10:00 am To: Matt Perelstein Hey Matt, I am wondering when we can expect to get the slides for the last two studio shoots. I am hoping we can wrap these up soon. Elizabeth - Hi Matt I bet, just being in bay area all week must be a big disruption, let alone a new job. Getting us the slide show end of weekend is good. Do we need to go over edits with you on either of the shows? We are only covering the parade. We always want to cover the ugly dog, but can't afford to do for free and somehow I have never been able to get a volunteer to do, I didn't even try this year. Elizabeth --- PP = 1288 printed Tom's 104 page manual --- 12:47 Paula's ok. They put her on medication for Angina, and they'll test her again in a month. Seems she only has attacks on Thursdays(?!). Will send brochure wording by Monday. Sorry for the delay. EQ-101, Show 1: http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw Hope you're well. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: from Valerie - questions From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Fri, August 31, 2012 3:44 pm To: matt@2GetHelp.com Hi, Matt. First, I want to ask about how Paula is feeling. Was it anything serious or is she good to go? Also, would you please send me a version of your most recent ND flyer...a version that I can work on? .v. --- 12:59 Hi Helen. XRG Here is my timesheet for the entire period, and my invoice for just a few hours. Ok? Thanks. - Matt --- 1:07 euc hunting close up eucs from last night to postage shop Bella to Ugly Dog contest at CV Starr(!) of course, she's going for Prettiest, not Ugliest! FB-FBFamily Hey Gang! Just for fun, we're going to enter Bella girl into the Ugliest Dog contest at CV Starr at 3 today. Of course, she's going for PRETTIEST, not Ugliest! Come root her on... --- 9.2 00:00 here, snoozin' 01:01 up 01:13 Marshall Clayton Brown Personal Cell: (707) 367-8148 Work Cell: (415) 815-8330 Home: (707) 397-7532 Hey Marshall, Let's get together at 1pm on Monday please, as we're gonna cruise down to the 11am Paul Bunyan parade. Take Brookfield Dr, the right turn just N of Gibney. About 100 ft in, there are mailboxes and a dirt road to the left... McDonnell Lane. Go 1/3 mile up the bumpy road to 32501 McDonnell. If you get to the dead end, turn around, you missed us by one house. Are you with CalFire? I worked for them for 6 years when we moved up here. Awesome organization! Do you usually start with a Storyboard, or an outline, or... ? Yay. - Matt --- pausssssse 04:50 Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. - Lao Tzu You are the universe, expressing itself as a human, for a little while. - Eckhard Tolle Note to Self: RELAX! You do enough You have enough You are enough! Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions. - Hafiz (1325-1389) A wise physician said, "The best medicine for humans is Love and Care. Someone asked, "If it doesn't work?" He smiled and answered, "Increase the dose." "The great misfortune of growing up is not that we stop believing in magic, but that we feel we have to.” - Chris Kaltenbach If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you are peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu --- Adele Videos http://www.adele.tv/videos/ --- 05:50+ AD2 (fixed/cleaned 'fffff' key again!) --- Euc Testimonial MCP Testimonial You, my friend, are a wonderful person! You are the type of person that I look forward to being a customer with. Thank you so much! Marti --- 07:59 Melinda http://ondemandvirtualservices.com/about/ Hi Melinda, My recurring $400/mo payment is coming up tomorrow, but we got off to a slower start and haven't used the first credit yet, so I'd like to postpone it. How do I do that? I checked in my PayPal acct, but couldn't find it... in fact, it didn't even show that the Aug. 3/6th payment was recurring. Thanks. Can't wait to see your updates to EQRocks! - Matt --- PP = 1279 -114 USPS (Coast P&S, left packages there, she wrote down card #, billed, saved receipt) +8 orders in last 2 days (incl. 2-5Cs and a 2B) --- pancakes and pecan syrup (!) with pkp fell asleep at the computer about 20+x today. wrote to MFF re: Contact list (again) FB-MCP posted pic of Bella and Paula after she won the Best-Looking Doggie contest yesterday. 48/8 and my pic from 1974 in Wiesbaden 23/5 --- 2:34 Hey Doc, 1. How are you feeling, physically and emotionally? Hope you're well! 2. What did you think of my questions below? 3. What do you think of this concept? http://theamericanscholar.org/living-with-voices/ 4. I'm still curious about what your last post to me on Facebook was about when you said, "I know of no conflict or negative that I have written." What you were referring to? Thanks. Take care. - Matt --- 3:10 sent AD2, finally! another wasted day working on this damn file! off to work in the garden with pkp --- >> (much shorter!) ,JerryMurphy ,FB ND class? ,Josh ,Invoice: Ad2 EQ-101.2 graphics ND brochure wording --- worked with PKP on deck/garden all afternoon. moved / stained her work bench, and the floor beneath it moved BBQ to other side weeded, fire, laid a board to frame the gravel, and planned gravel walkway around house watered dog pen is holding up, and the dogs have never pooped there, in 2 weeks (cats, twice, dogs, 0) hamburger gravy for dinner nice, close, no touchie 9:50 set alarm to bed, together --- 9.3 , call M&D --- Jeannie Hi there. She's home and has admitted she is an addict. Has been hitting lots of meetings and reconnecting to her recovery friends. She's fighting addiction and mental illness but she is aware and is working on her. I'm super happy for her. I'm working on me and in therapy. I have lots of negative feelings towards her but I'm keeping them under wraps and working with my therapist with them. I don't feel this is the time to unleash on her when she is barely finding her own self. So for the both of us were just doing one minute at a time. Thanks for checking on us. Thanks Matt. September 3 Yay! Glad she's back and ok. And glad both you seem to be taking responsibility for your own stuff... and doing something about it. Nice to know there's hope, ey... it's "just" emotions... and we can deal with our own, right? Hang in there, strong lady. You're doing great! --- 05:22 crying, and ahhhhhhhhhhhh to above. I have the strength to persist. I can risk, because I can wash thru about anything. I can risk more. I'm scared, but I can risk more. I shoulda stopped and talked to Rachel and her mom, dammit. - I'm the real deal. I really do love first. I don't always trust first --- Steve Nolan maybe it's the home page. Try this, then go to Home from there to sign it. there's no spam. http://www.feel.org/about.php. Also, check out our graphic on that site. not great, but had to fight to get it included there. I'm trying to 'collaborate' with bigger orgs, and Josh and 6 Seconds are among the largest/most prolific. --- http://www.feel.org/about.php --- Glenda Young-Sanders About Glenda I am an energetic woman of many talents and abilities. I love music, dancing and creating all kinds of art. I love to write poetry and short stories. In summer, I love to go to camping, fishing, to the lakes, river, or ocean. In winter, you'll find me enjoying the fire,reaing, watching TV, listening to music or watching a movie. I am nuts about traveling to places I've never been and discovering the beauty and people of the area. I love bright colors especially purple and my home is full of all types of art. To me life is exciting and I try to live each day as an opportunity to discover new experiences and learn new things. I have always been a people person and enjoy serious and silly topics. I try to always see the glass as half-full and enjoy finding creative solutions to problems as they arise. I enjoy working outside the box and would never be accused of being the shy, quiet type. I am however, able to take a look at both sides of the story. I am a fantastic listener and empathic as well as, compassionate. Sitting around doing nothing is not in my vocabulary. Life on earth is too short and I enjoy learning and doing new things. I am patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and lovable. I currently have one cat but love dogs too. 05:38 Hey you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Nice to 'see you'. Hope you're happy and well! When's "SET ME FREE" coming to your area?!? Take care and enjoy your special day!! --- me being a leader was not the plan. but, then, there was no plan. so it's as good as any. I'm just trying to make a living and provide for my fam. I just wanna do it via EQ, and changing the world, that's all. I don't have anything better to do. --- Sue Barnes Porter, "The Accidental Leader" Happy Day, Sue! Nice family... hope things are well for you and yours. It's been awhile, but I remember being impressed with your knowledge, skill and energy. Thanks for all you do for the world. Take care and enjoy your special day! --- AFSP: Understanding and Preventing Suicide Through Research, Education and Advocacy http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction... The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide. --- 06:56 Hiya Paul, Ok, I made a copy and called it simply "MFF Contacts" and this will be our 'official' list from now on. Ok? https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/lv?key=0Ar9AhbywMl1fdE1OOHVVMUdRMDNxSjJubnNsamRxNUE&rm=full#gid=0 note: Since there's an internal version date in the document, I don't think we need the year in the filename. If you want the year back in, go ahead and change it. I transferred over Alex's info, made sure all the Board Members where as up-to-date as we know, and cleaned up the data a bit (like removing the 707's). (I didn't realize that Mendocino High School had an 'owner'!?!) btw, have you tried View => List on the menu -- I find it easier to read -- and edit one record at a time. I'll send the new link to all and help Betsy and Pat get on. Hope you and Nancy are well! - Matt p.s. - I heard you about VMC. Maybe we could start with an email from us to Scott and Hal to let them know our status and our plans, and how we might work together, and see how they reply. p.p.s. - I'm still working on my 'plan' to bring EQ worldwide, and it's coming together, slowly (as I come together!). I think of you often, and the thought that someone of your stature would believe that it's possible helps inspire me. I'll share it with you soon. --- http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=24328653&c_id=sf --- Begin with the end in mind. - Stephen Covey --- -------------- mcp ---------------(!) "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." - Bruce Lee - http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/sf/ticketing/group_special_events.jsp Bruce Lee Tribute Night Tuesday, 9/4 vs. ARI 7:15 p.m. SOLD OUT! --- You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in the sad. The gain in the pain and what makes you grateful, not hateful. - Karen Salmonsohn The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper. - W. B. Yeats --- PP = 1327 --- 08:07 Hi Jessica, Oh, so you're trying to put me outta business, ey?!? :) I give a small packet of seeds free with any order. I get them for $2.50 here: http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html If you just want a few, send me your address. If you want a few hundred, order from the above. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 08:08 Sounds complicated, Pam. I don't know how to extract the oil (tho' I'd like to), nor the sap. I do have lots of gum nuts, tho. Wanna help? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Idea From: Wanema Arndt Date: Sun, September 02, 2012 9:56 pm To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Hi! I was so excited to find you guys! I have budgies and they all have loved eucalypt products that I bought from a company in Australia but that company has gone out of business. But, before they disappeared I bought a jar of Budgie Butter. It's young leaves, phloem sap and young gum nuts ground up and combined with pure eucalyptus oil. I spread this on my perches and give them dollops in their feed and they LOVE it. I was wondering whether you would consider making a similar product? Thank you, ~Pam --- 08:16 Doc, Glad you're well, and busy... keeps you off the streets and outta the bars, ey?!? Sounds like you're quite popular these days... yay... what do you attribute that to? You used to say that it was the outreach that brought folks in... are you doing a lot of outreach these days? Do you know the ID and password to your smashwords account? If so, I could post the TCOYL ebook there for you/us. About the "negative comments" email, please forward it to me... I haven't written, or thought, anything like that for well over a year... almost 2! I don't think anyone got into my email, but that message musta got incredibly delayed in delivery! EQ-101, Show 1 was successfully filmed and aired. Show 2 and 3 have been filmed, awaiting graphical edits. yeehaa! toodles. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Anxiety Treatment Directory From: "Doc Downing" Date: Sun, September 02, 2012 4:05 pm To: Doc Downing Subject: RE: Anxiety Treatment Directory Hey Matt, 1. How are you feeling, physically and emotionally? Hope you're well! I am feeling well both physically and emotionally. That may be a problem because I am working 7 days a week at least for a while. I know it was you who kept telling me “Busy hand are happy hands.” At this point I am too busy to write any blogs. I started one over two months ago but have not had time to finish it. 2. What did you think of my questions below? You are welcome to sell my books (I do not have any in hard copy) The only place I sell my stuff is at the office or Saturday Huge Group. 3. What do you think of this concept? http://theamericanscholar.org/living-with-voices/ I will have to check this out when I have more time. The same goes for EQrocks. 4. I'm still curious about what your last post to me on Facebook was about when you said, "I know of no conflict or negative that I have written." What you were referring to? I just received an email from you saying that you thought we had agreed not to make negative comments about each other. As far as I know I have not made any negative about you or ND. Could someone be using your computer? Thanks. Take care. Doc - Congrats on your successes! What EQ topics are you referring to? Please ask Sue for the login info for your smashwords account... she made it for you. thx. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Anxiety Treatment Directory From: "Doc Downing" Date: Mon, September 03, 2012 8:51 am To: RE: Anxiety Treatment Directory Matt, Glad you're well, and busy... keeps you off the streets and outta the bars, ey?!? Sounds like you're quite popular these days... yay... what do you attribute that to? You used to say that it was the outreach that brought folks in... are you doing a lot of outreach these days? Yes, I am doing outreach, more and different kinds. I learned from you the how to write my ads for the Search Engines so people come find me. I use little or no time establishing rapport with clients (they came for help, knowing I am the one that could help them). I’m working with about six interns who are at different areas of their development. I encourage them to do outreach. Then I have a lot of old clients coming back for “tune-ups” or their grown children coming because it helped their parents. This last project that is taking up so much of my time, but should be over in a week or two, is a court case of a man who was arrested for child porn on a peer to peer network. (The Feds have new software that seeks out child porn. “Like shooting fish in a barrow.) I have always been impressed with all your outreach ideas. Way to go. Do you know the ID and password to your smashwords account? If so, I could post the TCOYL ebook there for you/us. Boy, I didn’t even know that I had a smashwords account! No, I have no idea what my ID or password would be. About the "negative comments" email, please forward it to me... I haven't written, or thought, anything like that for well over a year... almost 2! I don't think anyone got into my email, but that message musta got incredibly delayed in delivery! Let’s assume it was incredibly delayed. I do not have the time to look for it now, even if I had kept it. If I run across it again, I will forward it to you. Matt, what happened to EQ? The topics that I was following have disappeared and I lost interest. EQ-101, Show 1 was successfully filmed and aired. Show 2 and 3 have been filmed, awaiting graphical edits. yeehaa! toodles. - Matt --- 09:14 Thanks, Colleen... and Yikes! No, I didn't know anything about MV going away... I thought you guys just won a bunch of projects! So sorry to hear... I will certainly keep an eye out for you -- you're awesome! Have you tried the other staffing firms in Sac -- I know some of these folks if you want/need some introductions. I'm working in downtown SF (Sutter and Montgomery... waaay downtown). I stay at a friends' in San Rafael and ride the ferry/walk to work 4 days/wk. I kinda remember Chuck telling me you used to live in the Bay area, right? Did you want to come back? At IMS Health, I'm an actual "employee" (first time in 15 years)... so cool to have benefits (like getting paid for TODAY, when I'm sitting on my duff at home). I also got a 100% telecommute job with Berkeley Labs, plus some smaller side work, so I was outta work looking for 2+ months, and some succeeded, so now I'm swamped. Anyway, I know you'll be ok, as you're very good, and there is work out there. Give me more of an idea what you're looking for, k? Take care and let's stay in touch. - Matt 916-599-8597 (cell) --- Hi Jerry, Glad you're weekend went well with the refs -- I'm missing it! SF is going well (tho it's still hard to leave... esp. the doggies). Will you guys be in the office on Friday (I telecommute on Fridays)? I can stop by and make these small changes then. Actually, on the report date, you can do it yourself. Run that report as usual. When it's up on the screen, choose View-Details Click on the date field in question and it will show "handles" around it. Just click on the right-most handle and strettttcccccchhh it a bit (without covering any other fields). Save and close, and run it again. presto! Glad it's working well for you! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Comments on due date app From: "Jerry Murphy" Date: Mon, August 27, 2012 8:15 am To: Cc: "'Marie Thompson'" Good morning Matt, I hope your SF experience will be rewarding! This past weekend was the women’s soccer tournament which was a bit smaller than normal. Oh well, but the Sacramento referees stayed with us again and it was a fun weekend with them, as usual. We had about twelve referees and a couple of additional guests so Saturday evening was a big party night. The app is working and there are a couple of little hiccups but it works well. One hiccup is that when the tax due date had a double digit month (10/15/2012) in the Internal Due Date Report, the space allowed for them isn’t large enough so we get xxxxxx instead. Speaking of dates, I still get a wrong year sometimes for the tax due date (11/15/2013). Marie said that she is unable to archive the data base now but I think she’ll need to explain that issue instead of having me do it. But outside those items I can’t think of anything else at issue. The report is doing what I needed in giving me a schedule of tasks that need to be accomplished and warning me as due dates come up. Jerry --- Strong people don't put people down, They life people up! - Michael Watson --- 1-3 Marshall here http://www.marshallbrownmedia.com/?page_id=6 http://www.topdocamerica.com/ http://www.texasdoctorawards.com/ Interviews audio video Graphics Stills music what's the point? EQ-101 video EQ4all.doc Sites DVD Main Points: 3 Purposes of Learning EQ Become: 1. More aware, knowing what we're doing 2. More intentional, doing what we mean (results) 3. More purposeful, doing things for a good reason - Happiness is a Choice Happy ro miserable feel good or bad open and loving, or cold and distant - Add right-brain feelings and creatity to left-brain logic and knowledge - Every behaviour, action and decision we make is based on at least one thot and at least feelings, so emotional intelligence is essential to effective decision-making and motivation. Use your whole brain IQ + EQ = LOL !! - EQ gives people a feeling of power and control over their lives... which leads to freedom, hope and happiness - EQ is one of the biggest factors in determining happiness and success in life. - IQ is pretty much Stuck, EQ is highly teachable / changable! - Top EQ Skills - Self-awareness - Self-regulation - Social skills - Empathy - Motivation - take control of their emotions, rather than letting their emotions control them. - Begin with the end in mind - Steven Covey --- ND benefits background concept steps location cost / signup results testimonials call to action --- 5:12 Sounds complicated. Just forward this email to her and ask her to add TCOYL (attached) to your ebooks for sale on smashwords. If either of you have PDF of the TCOYL Workbook, that would be great to add, too. FYI: Here how the account looks now... https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/DocDowning Thanks. Let me know. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: smashwords account From: "Doc Downing" Date: Mon, September 03, 2012 3:40 pm To: Matt, This is what I got back from Sue. Doc From: Sue Wiseman [mailto:Sue@Inner-Muse.com] On Behalf Of Sue Wiseman Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 1:15 PM To: 'Doc Downing' Subject: RE: smashwords account Good afternoon Doc, You don’t actually have a Smashwords account. I set up your books as a ghost author account under my publishing account. I can see what it would take to make the ghost account an actual account. It will be the end of the week before I have the time to dedicate to the research. If there is something in particular you would like to have changed, please let me know and I can take a few minutes to make the changes. I’m between jobs again. I quit Galen on 8/15. The last few weeks have been focused on getting papers done for school and clearing out what I no longer need in the house. I’m taking this break between jobs to transition to the Carmel/Monterey area. Maybe we can get together later this week or next week. Just let me know what is best for you. My schedule sounds like it is more flexible than yours. Sue --- Understood, Paul. I agree that the next eblast should be more about the future than the past. ...and it's no prob to send another in 2 weeks... in fact, let's plan on sending at least one per month for the next year. I think it helps to stay in front of people, keep us top-of-mind, and keep 'em excited about our plans. I don't know anything about a MCN list serv... Arlene? MFF Take 8: May 31, June 1-2, 2013, correct? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: MFF Contacts list and feedback on "Thank you" eblast From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Mon, September 03, 2012 10:12 am To: Cc: "Betsy Ford" , "Arlene Morehead" Hi Matt, Thanks for the stuff. I’d prefer NOT to announce the new board or add any thing more than the date to the eblast. We’ve got a lot of thanking and explaining and other stuff to announce and we’ve got to think of our members first and foremost..........as we need their dough big time. So once the dates of the Fest have been added please send it out AS IS by Wednesday if you would please please please. I think we should think about a second sending maybe two weeks later. Would that be a no-no? Also how can we get that same image and text to send out to the MCN list serv? We’ve done that in the past with announcements of our dates and events. I think Arlene handled the entry. I would choose to update the website before we do any mailings of BOD members and we have the press releases to think about also. Much coordination to be done. Thanks much Matt. PK --- PP = 1383 - 100 Hey Marshall, here's the down-payment for the video we discussed today. Let me know how / if you get the money. Thanks for your help... I'm confident that you will do us proud and you'll have a new demo to showcase of your work. EQRocks! - Matt --- 6:45 to LI-EIN -------------- mcp ----------- Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. - Steven Covey -------------- mcp ----------- "I have found that if you love life, life will love you back." - Arthur Rubinstein --- Hey Marshall, THANKS much for taking on this important work! I sent you the initial $100 via PayPal... let me know if/how you are able to receive it. After further thought, I think this first video should be focused on the powerful impact that our EQ workshop, New Directions (ND), can make as it's more concrete and 'real' than just trying to sell EQ as a concept. Give me a few days to get some specific info to you about who our target market is, potential benefits/results they can expect, what points we should/could make, and what the call-to-action will be at the end. In the meantime, please review some of the files we copied for you, and some of the sites below (esp. those in bold). ND stuff on the Web: *ND Workshop: http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com * ND Testimonials: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials ND Signup: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup ND on Facebook (180 likes): http://Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop ND/EQ YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 ND for Veterans: http://www.2GetHelp4Vets.com ND for Veterans on Twitter (401 followers): http://www.Twitter.com/2GetHelp4Vets *ND Tour Movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POi2NHMWMQo ND Tour PPT: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/NewDirectionsTour.ppt Plus: EQRocks! http://www.EQRocks.com EQRocks on Facebook: (50x) https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks EQ YouTube channel (46 videos, 25 Subscribers, 8,514 Views): http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 EQ Lessons and Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (free) FB: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 1,718 members): https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ LinkedIn: The Emotional Intelligence Network (admin, 41,625 members): http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 2GetHelp non-profit: http://www.2GetHelp.org EQRocksEQHeals on YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/EQRocksEQHeals EQ radio interviews: http://www.EQRocks.com/audio/ (3x) Me on Facebook (1,167 friends): http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein Me on Twitter (1,875 followers): http://twitter.com/MattPerelstein Me on LinkedIn (415 connections, 471 followers): http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein Text Editor (free): www.EditPadLite.com Thanks much. I'll get you more soon. - Matt Matt Perelstein 707-962-9006 home 916-599-8597 cell --- orders pack dinner movie "__ Special" with Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L. Jackson (only) well done! (missed ending, as usual) snooze on coach --- 9.4 04:20 up finish orders pack shower 06:15 Sorry Val, didn't finish the brochure wording, again (man, I'm having trouble with that exact wording...). I already sent you the initial wording, and you edited it (masterfully)... but as I mentioned, it's way too long, so I'm trying to re-write it to much fewer words... and the fewer the words, the more powerful each must be. The good news is that I spent 3 hours yesterday with the new production guy, at my desk, watching his stuff to get ideas, and discussing and copying over our 60Gb of ND-related video, audio, stills, testimonials, writings, etc. so he could review it all. Good guy, skilled, infomercial should turn out well (in 2-4 weeks). I'll keep pluggin' away at it (as I always do). Off to SF again now. 1st ND in Fort Bragg coming up. - Matt --- first time coming in to IMS late try to catch 10:55 ferry, next is 11:55 nope. 11:10... hmmm go... to SF 06:45 off cried, a lot almost to Albion(!) and yelled. very sad 07:06 pkp sorry it's going wrong it's not going wrong... it just IS wrong! 10:00 SR Apt saw Tom (pure chance), showed new lights, got hug 'let's do a Giants-Dodgers game!' had salad ferry parking lot full, walk from Marin Airporter, $4 boat was empty beautiful day Subway 12:10 here Chris Moshy wrote Val Doc --- what do I do about overweight-nicity? just 'cutting down' is not gonna work --- SF-Larkspur Ferry Schedule, valid thru Sept. http://goldengateferry.org/schedules/documents/FerrySchedules061112.pdf --- >> bring a jacket/sweater to work and leave it here. coat rack? --- , F, 7, 09:30, help 'em setup the office get IMS email (OWA) on cell --- Hi Lance, No need to show them to me, as MOST of the Euc leaves and branches have those spots on them. The newest baby leaves don't, but then after only growing a foot or so, they start developing spots on each one. They do not drop off and the leaves stay in tact, and attached, for years. The County Dept. of Ag has been out and tested them and they passed, and I've been shipping these to pet owners (incl. budgies) for over 6 years without incident. However, if you feel uncomfortable with these, then keep the spot-less ones, throw away the rest, and I'll find and send you spot-free Eucs. Ok? Sorry for the concern. - Matt --- IMS drive is 250Gb with 201Gb free >> load tunes --- Hi Nicholas, Glad you're happy with your Eucs! No, they don't need to be kept in water constantly... it was just a suggestion to periodically take them out and "re-hydrate" them. Glad you rinsed them off. Yes, they keep very well in the freezer. Any other questions? Enjoy! - Matt --- >> note on monster that I'm employed now --- , call Dr. Lago 961-4550 re: moving/not moving any recommendations? stiff and limited ROM but definitely reducing in size(!) I guess, as they say, with age, things take longer to heal. ... and I'm friggin' Old! --- 8:55 apt here's my nice relaxing evening: >> ,mff - e's, contacts, eblast ad2 - keep going val - brochure text ,moshy - thx. nykia/shane - reply to feedback D-R - updates , @ Tom's new mouse - right-click doesn't work Office 2010 (Access) Reload Windows 7? --- 10:18 now Cheers MFF contacts and eblast version e's 11 snooze --- 9.5 05:05 MFF, Paul and Betsy How many new names do expect? I still suggest we trust our folks to enter names themselves. However, if they have their own contacts and they're super-uncomfortable touching the spreadsheet, they could send 'em to you/me and we could do it. To Add or Change MFF Contacts: - Open the document. - Scan down the list, in first name order, and confirm what's there, or missing. - To change any part of an entry, click Edit to the left of that row. When finished, click . - To add a new contact, scroll to an empty row at the bottom and click Edit. ok? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: Test Message - HTML Format:Thank Youz 2012] From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 4:24 pm To: , "betsy ford" Hey Matt, Here’s the final final word on this eBlast: We want to make a couple of small changes like move the date to the top rather than the bottom. Betsy will give you the changes but we do want the date to be included. We might as well get hung for a horse as well as stealing a goat. When Betsy is satisfied, please pull the trigger and send this thing out! It’s imperative that we get it out in the next 24 hours. It’s holding up a whole chain of planned letters and stuff. Thanks a lot for all the work and thinking you’ve put in on this..........it’s a real beauty! I can’t wait for the public to see it. That leads me to the mailing list..........I know we can add names if we all pull together. I’ll ask everyone to submit new names but how should this work? Can you figure out a procedure to make this happen. I’ll spend the time and ask everyone else to do the same and we’ll send it out again to the new names once we’ve collected them. Let me know will you? Thanks, PK --- 05:30 Right on, Chris -- thanks for the note, and the good idea. I have gobs of success stories, so I can and will include some as I flush it out. - We've had drug dealers stop dealing. - A hospitalized clinically-depressed lady instead ended up graduating college with honors, and is now a lead social worker helping welfare moms get off aid... while finishing her Masters in therapy. - A PTSD-stricken Vietnam vet who spent years sleeping in his closet with a loaded gun who now sleeps thru the night, just got engaged and cut out most of his meds. - Four classes in a row, a student came up to thank me and Paula and said that this "saved their life". The problem, frankly, with these stories, is that they seem to good to be true and are easily dismissed. The thing is, they happen to be true (and there are many more). I want it to be real, yet believable. Ideas?!? Thanks again! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: In Marin? From: Chris Moshy Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 9:06 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hi, Matt, it was fun, if you’re down here on a regular basis, we’ll to do it again. I enjoy hearing about effort in 2GetHelp, which is clearly your passion. Sorry for the delay, but I think the document is good. I would consider adding some real life examples of your program. It would help explain and make real to the reader what it is you do. Also, it makes clear that your program is active and operating now, with infrastructure in place to expand. I know from our conversations, that you’ve got some great examples of how it impacting people in real-time. Anyways, I hope that is helpful. Good Luck! Let me know how it goes. --Chris. Chris Moshy --- 05:50 FB-MCP: ND Event Join us for a most empowering experience! If it weren't for this class, I'd still be a shy, scared little boy inside, stuck in pain and fear. But now I can deal with my own heart and mind, to know myself, get along well with others and make my life look, and more importantly FEEL as great as I want! https://www.facebook.com/events/457006164321399/ --- 05:57 Larry Excellent! She's great, and that dude had some serious moves! If you ignore the many cameras and crew that we can't see, it seems like an amazing situation. Thanks for sharing. How'z tricks, old timer?!? Please plan on coming to the next fresno ND (Nov. 2)... I miss you! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: I DO KRAZZY! From: "Larry" Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 12:52 pm To: "Larry" I DON'T DO KARATE… I DO KRAZZY! --- 06:10 Nykia/Shane THANKS for the feedback -- great stuff -- and THANKS for believing in me/ND/EQ! Some comments: 1&2. I will define all terms & acronyms 3. Which website? 4. Yes, I realize that complete sentences are better -- just brainstormin', so far 5. Yeah, specific goals. Tough one, but you're right, so I'll work on it. 6 & 7. Research: Yep. See attached rough start re: Success Stories, yes, I believe they are needed... and I passed the outline along to a (very successful) friend/customer of mind and that was his main suggestion... "add some real life examples of your program". Here are a few: - (J & M) We've had drug dealers stop dealing. - (Karen) A hospitalized clinically-depressed lady instead ended up graduating college with honors, and is now a lead social worker helping welfare moms get off aid... while finishing her Masters in therapy. - (Larry) A PTSD-stricken Vietnam vet who spent years sleeping in his closet with a loaded gun who now sleeps thru the night, just got engaged and cut out most of his meds. - (R, D, Y and L) Four classes in a row, a student came up to thank me and Paula and said that this "saved their life". The problem, frankly, with these stories, is that they seem to good to be true and are easily dismissed. The thing is, they happen to be true (and, as you know, there are many more). I want it to be real, yet believable. Ideas?!? THANKS again -- you guys rock! - Matt p.s. - we're having our first ND in Fort Bragg next weekend (Sept. 14), and I just heard last night that Glori is coming up, with Sharon... made my day! attachment: EQResearch_20120716.docx --->>>>>>>>> --- 05:50 FB-MCP: ND Event Join us for a most empowering experience! If it weren't for this class, I'd still be a shy, scared little boy inside, stuck in pain and fear. But now I can deal with my own heart and mind, to know myself, get along well with others and make my life look, and more importantly FEEL as great as I want! https://www.facebook.com/events/457006164321399/ --- 05:57 Larry Excellent! She's great, and that dude had some serious moves! If you ignore the many cameras and crew that we can't see, it seems like an amazing situation. Thanks for sharing. How'z tricks, old timer?!? Please plan on coming to the next fresno ND (Nov. 2)... I miss you! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: I DO KRAZZY! From: "Larry" Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 12:52 pm To: "Larry" I DON'T DO KARATE… I DO KRAZZY! --- 06:10 Nykia/Shane THANKS for the feedback -- great stuff -- and THANKS for believing in me/ND/EQ! Some comments: 1&2. I will define all terms & acronyms 3. Which website? 4. Yes, I realize that complete sentences are better -- just brainstormin', so far 5. Yeah, specific goals. Tough one, but you're right, so I'll work on it. 6 & 7. Research: Yep. See attached rough start re: Success Stories, yes, I believe they are needed... and I passed the outline along to a (very successful) friend/customer of mind and that was his main suggestion... "add some real life examples of your program". Here are a few: - (J & M) We've had drug dealers stop dealing. - (Karen) A hospitalized clinically-depressed lady instead ended up graduating college with honors, and is now a lead social worker helping welfare moms get off aid... while finishing her Masters in therapy. - (Larry) A PTSD-stricken Vietnam vet who spent years sleeping in his closet with a loaded gun who now sleeps thru the night, just got engaged and cut out most of his meds. - (R, D, Y and L) Four classes in a row, a student came up to thank me and Paula and said that this "saved their life". The problem, frankly, with these stories, is that they seem to good to be true and are easily dismissed. The thing is, they happen to be true (and, as you know, there are many more). I want it to be real, yet believable. Ideas?!? THANKS again -- you guys rock! - Matt p.s. - we're having our first ND in Fort Bragg next weekend (Sept. 14), and I just heard last night that Glori is coming up, with Sharon... made my day! attachment: EQResearch_20120716.docx --- 06:30 Downloaded ND_Brochure.pdf and saved as text Oh, ok, Val... see attached (by the way, when you open a PDF these days, you can usually SaveAs a PDF or plain text... I'm sending you both). Before you start, I really think we need to use way LESS words here. I'm not sure people are gonna take the time to read all this (whatchathink?) Wordsmithing the words we have is cool, but I think we may need to replace some of the sections with a few, short, powerful statements that kinda jump off the page. The brochure is to get 'em interested and if they want more info, call or go to the website... right? Thanks again for your love and support. I have 2 small receipts to send your way. Are you out travelling? How was your last class? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: from Valerie - questions From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 8:35 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi, Matt. Hey, I'm not asking you for your future re-worked flyer. I want whatever one you already had (that you sent me that I commented on), in a form that I can download AND work with to make changes. The one I have I cannot mess with. .v. --- 06:42 Doc Ok, I looked thru the smashwords' 100-page style guide, and it's gonna be a pain, but it's doable. http://www.smashwords.com/books/download/52/1/latest/0/0/smashwords-style-guide.pdf To get started, I only have the PDF version of TCOYL (which is not editable)... do you have the original Word document (.DOC)? If not, maybe Erica Ybarra still has one... If it's too much of a pain to get it formatted correctly, we could just sell the PDF directly. You don't care if we use smashwords or not, right? How much did you want to charge? We'll get this... it's important. - Matt p.s. - I'm still curious as to which EQ writings you were 'following' and they ain't happening anymore. Are you referring to my posts on LinkedIn? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: FW: smashwords account From: "Doc Downing" Date: Tue, September 04, 2012 7:38 am To: Matt, Here is what I got back from Sue. Doc From: Sue Wiseman [mailto:Sue@Inner-Muse.com] On Behalf Of Sue Wiseman Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 9:03 PM To: 'Doc Downing' Subject: RE: FW: smashwords account Hi Doc, Smashwords does not accept PDF files. They have a specific format for submitting the publications then they do all of the conversions to allow it to be read on the various eReaders. I will be happy to give Matt the formatting guidelines for Smashwords if he wants to perform the necessary formatting. Meeting on Thursday is great. Let me know what time and where. At the moment my schedule is completely open. I don’t know anything about Phoenix’s funding. Galen was still authorized to offer federal loans when I left. Sue --- 06:58 sent 2 receipts to Val --- 07:00 LI-EIN Prathiba N. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi Iam Prathiba Nair,I live in Pune(India) and responsible for the HR operations of an IT company. In a workplace everyday we are encountering many employees and in real facing their varied emotions,this emotions are in conflict within itself and with others when in an group which is stiffening the workplace culture.If we observe carefully,the emotions are universal and at many time fundamentally the same ,everyone encounters the same emotions-Joy,sorrow,Love,Jealousy,Pain ,Happiness.Then why are some people sad? while some have found peace? The trick lies in overcoming,managing and channeling this emotions...BEING THE MASTER OF YOUR EMOTIONS THEN BE ITS SLAVE... I believe,this platform and discussion will give me more ideas in doing so - Glenn B. commented on Is it normal to have 100% faith oneself and belief in success, or is natural to have some self-doubt? You can’t have bliss without abyss! In a world of polarities you can’t have certainty without uncertainty. Therefore, as many have said, self-doubt is normal. Where some psychotherapies and positive psychologies get it wrong (in my experience) is they don’t acknowledge / work with that part of our self that has the capacity to hold BOTH feelings - certainty and uncertainty. Who is best to watch and hold self-doubt? It can’t be the self-doubting part of our psychology because this is a very narrow level of consciousness and it will turn corrosive through its ‘stories’. Such as: “I should be better than this/sorted this out/have more confidence in myself” etc. So the questions for you are – How are you at holding both polarities? How familiar is the YOU that watches and holds both? " - “It takes a mental pause to become sensitive to the subterranean murmur of mood – a moment we rarely take. Our feelings are always with us, but we are too seldom with them.” - Daniel Goleman in Working with Emotional Intelligence - Gar C. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? I am the Managing Director at a start-up company in Shanghai, China called Tang Doll. I can tell everyone that China's achilles heel is the lack of EQ and it will hold them back for decades to come. The education system there is focused on test scores and they do a great job at it but at the cost of creativity and innovation. The one-child policy, the lack of play, and many traditional child rearing beliefs create a culture where social interaction is minimal. Emotions are taught to be suppressed and you don't challenge the status quo. Our mission at Tang Doll is to help Chinese mothers raise smart and happy girls, the foundation of which is teaching EQ through doll play. My years at American Girl taught me that kids learn best through play and we are working to convince Chinese moms of that --- 07:05 off to work... --- 09:05 work: insert LI-EIN stuff above! --- pkp, $299 for class, $100 off --- 11 SG gave me 4 real measures to try and do Set Tree diagrams on. She'll give feedback. yikes. --- ,write to Marshall to see if he got the $$ - Hey Marshall, any luck getting that $$ from PayPal? - Matt --- x reply to Barbara Tatum's thread on FB-EIN adding IQ to EQ adding EQ to IQ --- >> talk to Daisy re: EQ Emotional Intelligence soft skills, people skills, communications get brochure done! --- , add NDW website to FB ND event $100 off --- mtg at 2 , list benefits --- Hi Cindy.... thanks for the note. I'm happy to supply whatever you need, or any combination thereof. Many customers get fresh Euc leaves for a spa or sauna, but dried might work well, too... I'm not sure. I have 2 varieties of leaves... the new-growth, oval-shaped greyish leaves that have more odor, and the more mature, banana-shaped, beautiful green leaves that last longer. Speaking of lasting, both can be kept in the freezer and there they stay good for months! you might want to start with the minimum order of a half-pound, and test it out. Sound good? Enjoy! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Sent MFF VR Thank Youz 2012 Master List (all contacts) 3,098 Nov 04, 2009 11:17AM May 01, 2012 3:38PM Your original list had 3,098 list members. View Lists Hide Lists Master List (all contacts) has 3098 list members We removed 84 list members that have unsubscribed. We removed 659 list members that have bounced back (invalid addresses). We removed 0 that are on-hold. This email will be sent to 2,324 list members. You have 10,000 email credits to use. After sending this email, you will have 7,676 email credits left. Your email is scheduled to be sent on Sep 5, 2012 3:09PM PDT --- , 3pm Friday, 9/7 conf call with Manjiri, XRG --- 1hr...ding! banana apple, some sub, lots 'o water pizza slice and cookie some sub, ice cream, oatmeal 6 go ferry marin B safeway apt --- Susan M. commented on There is no cure for anxiety...or is there? "I've 'renamed' anxiety as 'static in the nervous system.' I have noticed that we can get comfortable with our discomforts and in that case, anxiety might be visible to those observing us but we can be out of awareness of the levels of anxiety we habitually host. When my anxiety level increases I ask myself this question: Is what I am currently facing a problem to be solved or is it a reality to be experienced? If I identify it as a problem then I am free to spring into action to solve it. If I determine it is a reality to be experienced then my job is often to let go and allow the experience room to be acknowledged along with the sad, mad, disappointed, etc. that comes with it. Sometimes, it is a bit of both and in that case, again, I can choose to take the appropriate action to accept the situation or reject it and do something to change it. Sounds easy in writing! In practice, I notice that being able to laugh at myself and 'get over' myself are two skills that continue to be worth including! " --- “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo F. Buscaglia --- 10:13 Recommendation on LI Colleen rocks -- as she was instrumental in landing us the largest job I've ever been on! She helped assemble the team, write the winning proposal and whipped us into shape in preparation for a grueling group interview together with the State. All 6 of us on the team were truly impressed and amazed with her skills and insight! If you want to win proposals, I strongly suggest getting Colleeen on your team. --- 10:21 LI-EIN AratiUn HI! all and wanted to know from you all that, how is it for you when you have to become Extremely NonJudgemental? or it is a way of life for you? Or also Is it something which that counts in Patterns of behaviour Both. First, it's a decision, then I consciously make it into a pattern of behaviour, and eventually it becomes a way of life. Actually, I've extremely judgmental... I can find the GOOD in about anything! --- 10:25 Smiling is a great way to brighten up someone's day and also demonstrate a positive attitude. Everybody wins when we smile! I've found that people on the West coast of the US don't react that much to a smile, but if you talk to them, you could be best friends in minutes. However, on the East coast, it's opposite... they'll smile and wave, but it's hard to get much deeper. Has that been your experience? Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to! --- 10:28 Been thinking and observing for some time now, and it seems to me that there might be a link between strong feelings and emotions and creativity !! Do share your thoughts,feelings, observations . . Absolutely, Sanjoli! It's all about activating our right-brain! --- "Life is mind made" - Ray Mathis --- 10:38 There is no cure for anxiety...or is there? To me, it's about adding IQ to our EQ! If we're experiencing 'excessive anxiety', or any anxiety for that matter that feels like it's not in our control or realm of influence, then that's our bad, and we've got more to learn about ourselves! If I've got too much feeling -- too intense, for too long, for too many of the wrong reasons -- I need to add some IQ, some logic, and reason, and groundedness to my emotions. Conversely, if I'm shut down, too analytical, cold and/or distant, I can add some EQ to my IQ, some heart to my head, to allow warmth, care and concern for myself and others. IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- 11:02 I'm being punished -- I'm a victim, I tell you! Some are complaining 'cause it's too hot, and me, who LOVES the heat, spent the summer in Fort Bragg, wearing 3 long-sleeve shirts with the heater going -- and where do I find work -- in downtown SF -- where's it's windy and cold MOST of the time! Wth?!? Poor me! --- 11:11 I wanted to introduce two new members to our ND family... Debbie Pacheco Oppie and Kelly Sallinen... who are going thru class next weekend in Fort Bragg. WELCOME, ladies! Debbie lives in Colorado, in Fort Collins, where I, and my dad, went to college, but she' from Fort Bragg. Kelly's a neat lady who lives in Fort Bragg but just got back from a trip to Alaska... TODAY! ... oh, and they are cousins! We try to be as supportive and loving as we can to each other here. We share our wins and our loses. We vent and share our pain, in an effort to reach-out, and feel connected, and heard, but we also take full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions. We take our feelings seriously, while taking ourselves lightly. Many of us have been close ND friends for 5-10-15-20+ years now, so welcome to our family, as we all grow up (or in some cases, out) together! --- 11:47 Change your thinking to knowing that your life matters and that you are important. --- 11:55 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JUFjTOM32g&feature=youtu.be Creativity starts with a Belief --- 9.6 00:00 up a bit 00:15 salad go to bed (couch) watching Britain Has Talent awesome performances --- 05:00 up "Small are the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own heart." - Albert Einstein 05:45 AD2, on laptop (Access isn't on Tom's PC... , bring it for him/me) (he needs a new mouse, too, as the right-click doesn't work, and it's most annoying) - 06:58 Ok, made some more progress this morning. First thing I did was to make a way for us to re-test the file. On the main menu, you'll be able to double-click on the words "Autodesk Revenue By Size Analysis DB", and the tblRevenueIndSizeFile will be reset to retest. For now, you'll need to reload the tblRevenueIndSizeFile from the INPUT tab to retest. 5. When I run it, every time, I get 44 recs, not 39 ... 7a. I believe the app calcs H3 revenue correctly, and your calc is off. Please recheck. 7b. These 2 M&E's were included each time I ran it. 7c. Rows 18, 19, 20 showed up on mine, every time. 7d. Civil 3D, I neglected to code for this scenario. I'll have to finish it tomorrow. - Matt --- 7:11 go! pack laptop and pack for home. whoops, missed ferry! 08:20 ferry, smaller, higher, slower, nice stood out back in the wind and sun. very nice still got here on time, as I have to stay late tonight for a meeting --- ,ND Testimonial These classes and this group are life changing!! :-) :-) - Annette Kemnitz 1:42am Sep 6 --- x check for backup files. remove? >> get new: ,- shirts - belt ,- shoes - sunglasses --- 11: Town hall meeting, where I have to stand up and introduce myself. here are some notes... Hi, I’m Matt, working in Informatics on HeartSmart measures for Shruti and Jim. I’ve been a consultant for 20+ years now, this is my 85th job for the State, the federal gov't and business large and small, and I can say that these measures contain some of the most complicated logic I’ve ever seen! My friends ask about my new job: I say, “I write queries on medical healthcare data in SQL Server” “Queries? That's all you do is write queries?!? That’s easy!” “… and, it’s worse than that… I don’t even have to write the SQL for the queries! We have a tool called HeartSmart that you just answer the questions and it writes the queries for you! “You’re kidding… what a breeze.” "Yeah, well, there are just a few minor details… 1. We have an unbelievable amount of data! 2. These queries are some of the most amazingly complicated queries I’ve ever seen, some having well over 1,000 lines of SQL code! 3. They have to be RIGHT, as lives may depend on them! So, I’m coming up to speed, but my brain hurts! If anyone knows how to build measures correctly and consistently, please shake their hand, because they are Good!" >> see notes and PPT Brad Ryan, MD --- 12: Pot Luck (I brought a meat and cheese tray, from Safeway) , do benefits --- IMS connection: 144Mbps HughesNet connection: 52Mbps (1/2, wow) --- , to LI-EIN "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." - Bruce Lee , "Let's..." , post IMS jobs on LI & FB --- mcp testimonial I'd love to stay in touch. You're a good egg! - Colleen Abrams, MetaVista Consulting Group, Inc. 3 XRG - Minty, and Majiri Business Development Mgr. for State Contacting cards and emails reach out to contacts, ask what's coming up be involved in delivery entrepreneur hat "helping you monetize your relationships so all will benefit" --- LI-EIN Susan M. commented on Have you ever had the experience of taking lessons in Emotional Intelligence from a child? Absolutely. My four daughters have been amazing teachers. And now my grandchildren are carrying on the tradition! When my daughter Jennica was in kindergarten, I went to pick her up after school and she came out with her head down and holding back tears. I put my arms around her and asked what happened. She looked up at me and wiped a few escaping tears from her eyes as she told me: " We drew pictures and we had to hand them in. Then Mrs.___ gave them back at the end of the day. She gave me the wrong picture. When I told her, she told me I was wrong and that WAS my picture. Mom, it wasn't MY picture." Later in the day, I asked her how she was doing and she said: "Pretty good. The tears are out of my eyes...but they are still stuck in my body." We handled the issue with the teacher but I will never forget the emotional wisdom of the fact that tears can get out of our eyes but still be stuck in our bodies! --- Solovei lotions, motions or pills $49/mo unlimited cell service --- MFF eblast Opens (637): 27.43% Clicks (26): 1.12% Bounces (42): 1.81% Unsubscribes (4): 0.17% --- I put Kelly and Debbie in the ND closed group and somehow Diana Salinen was able to see it and now it's a big confidentiality issue at PS. good grief. --- 4 go... home. --- 9.7 00:00 snoozin' somewhere on the side of the road 00:47 up, for a few, then back down 03:47 just keep drivin', drivin', drivin' 04:58 home! 05:25 (posted on LI-EIN) Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. - Lao-Tze Either you run the day or the day runs you ! --- 05:43 Done! I know I can be a little over-the-top sometimes, Colleen... I consciously add EQ to my IQ. So, if you feel like writing/editing, how about a quick rec for me. If it's ok, I'm gonna submit your resume to my company (www.IMSHealth.com). They are hiring, and they have an office in Rancho Cordova. okie dokey? - Matt On 09/06/12 6:58 PM, Colleen Abrams wrote: -------------------- Matt - I'd like to tone it down a bit. I am definitely not that awesome! Also - weren't there only 4 of you, not counting Chuck? Are you OK with the changes I made below? If so, can you resubmit? Sorry - the editor in me never stops! Eek. - Colleen "Colleen was instrumental in landing our team a large State of California IT consulting contract. She worked patiently and professionally with each of us on our submissions, managed the whole proposal process, wrote the winning proposal, and conducted a much-needed interview prep session for our grueling team interview with a State evaluation panel. All of us on the team are very thankful for her skills, insight, and sense of humor. I highly recommend Colleen for your proposal team." On 09/05/12 10:13 PM, Matt Perelstein wrote: -------------------- Dear Colleen, Yo. So there. Details of the Recommendation: "Colleen rocks -- as she was instrumental in landing us the largest job I've ever been on! She helped assemble the team, write the winning proposal and whipped us into shape in preparation for a grueling group interview together with the State. All 6 of us on the team were truly impressed and amazed with her skills and insight! If you want to win proposals, I strongly suggest getting Colleeen on your team." --- PP = 1333.77 06:58 up. --- 2 Uk - D-R - How you will improve on existing efforts. Create and provide grassroots EQ training for all ages, create a model social environment with many ways to connect, learn and grow, together. Create teams for projects, connection, and growth. Create and provide EQ training to schools, work environments, to the entertainment industry, to the military, to parents, etc. Stats on men involved in social probs, quantify the problems. Support them for prevention, not just cure. Prevent disasters. How are others doing it? Others trying to collaborate lots of non-profits / care-givers, but solid foundation for growth and change, process, environment, focus, concrete practical, life-enhancing tools. Awareness, education and environment. --- a. me: professional, knowledgeable, technically competent, easy (and fun) to work with, responsible, good combination of IQ and EQ, responsive, ability to 'translate' user requirements into technical functionality... that kinda thing... not too much about the technology needed. b. I'm gonna send your resume to another company, too (XRG). They're a staffing/project firm (like MV) in the Bay area who has an MSA, but hasn't been able to make much headway with the State, so they're looking for someone in Sacramento to help them break in... that's you. c. Most of the positions with IMS are not posted... but yesterday we had a big webcast meeting between 5 offices and that was their main point... please send us your best candidate/friends so we can hire the best! toodles. - Matt On 09/07/12 6:54 AM, Colleen Abrams wrote: -------------------- Thank you Matt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be very, very, very happy to write you a recommendation - except what do I put in it? I am not a technology person, so have no idea where to begin in that department. Can you help me out a bit? I know you're a great business professional, responsive to my requests, but I seriously need help with the meat of the content. You are awesome and I want to write something helpful for you. And thank you for submitting my resume!! I will look them up online and get more info about the company and their open positions. You've been quite a gift to me this week. Thank you so much! Colleen --- HFC/Beneficial 1497.52 hardship starting 6.29 paid 555.76, twice new rate is 5.25 will wipe July and Aug, soon in 5th month of mod (November), before it ends, reapply send updated income docs and call Oh, ok, this is great, you're all paid up. due 9.24 --- 5:34 Hi Tom, a few things come to mind: Do you know your email and password for XFinity? If so, that will allow me to sign-on to the wifi with my laptop. Do you have the Windows 7 CD for your computer? Windows is crashing and rebooting itself pretty often and I think that re-installing Windows might help. I loaded some tunes on your machine under MyMusic. I was in a rush, so I only did the A's and B's, but if it's ok with you, I'll load the rest of what I have next week. You have tons of room on your hard drive and I have about 100 albums, if you want 'em. You mentioned that you have a gig coming up with the guitar player. When and where is it? I'd love to come see you guys play, if I'm in town! How are you liking the new motion-senser lights? Feel free to move/install them, as they're not in the best location yet. I had trouble finding the right position for them where they will "see" someone enter from either of two directions. Enjoy the self-charging flashlight at the top of the stairs, too! Sorry I left stuff in the frig this weekend. I got myself in a rush yesterday morning (in fact, I missed my usual ferry) and didn't grab everything. later tater! Have a good one. - Matt p.s. - Hi Harleigh! --- Euc Testimonial (from FB) Lyndia Root I pull the ones my gliders don't destroy out of the cage when they are crispy...run some hot water in the sink and drop them in...within just a few minutes they are nice a pliable again and the hot water makes like a "tea"....I just pull them out, let 'em drip for a sec as to not make a mess, (but I don't dry them) and put 'em right back in the cage....they attack 'em just like they did when they were fresh from EucProducts. :-) --- signed up for AvianA__ as EucProducts. but it said I was banned, forever! ouch --- 6:06 PDF to Word http://www.pdftoword.com/success.aspx uploaded TCOYL and they sent it to me --- 06:23 LI-EIN Fatima K. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hello everyone! First of all I'd like to thank Wilbert for introducing me to such an awesome platform of discussion. I'm Fatima Karim from Karachi, Pakistan. I'm a student of psychology. I wish to pursue my career in research in cognitive neuroscience. I have been working as a trainer and consultant for the youth. I have joined this network because there are many intellectuals sharing the interest: emotion. I want to get to know people's opinion how they think and feel about specific things and how can we change it in a certain way to bring about positive impact. How can we implement the theoretical knowledge of human emotion in the daily life and create innovation. I'm looking for some interesting hypotheses which can inspire my research on human cognition. It is just my beginning in research so I’m looking forward to learn a lot and get intellectual support from the group members. I'm really excited about it! --- 07:01 GC offer wholesale products? And if so, what is the criteria? I attend a few glider event throughout the year and was thinking it would be nice to have fresh euc products available for sale there as well as on my website. I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. My next event will be the Ohio Glider Gathering in November. Thanks! Shelly - Hi Slacker (I mean Shelly!), Sure, I'd be happy to provide Eucs to you on a wholesale basis! In fact, I can do wholesale, drop-shipping and private label... whatever works for you. I keep it simple and just charge 1/2 of my retail + shipping. So, for example, a 1/2# of anything (like a Starter pack) retails at $11.95, so it'd be half that or $6 + $6 shipping = $12. Sell it for whatever you can, send me my share via PayPal (matt@2gethelp.com) with the customer's address and I'll ship it directly to your customer (or to you). ... AND you can create your own customized instruction page and return address label so they think it's coming from YOU! Sound good?? Call if you wanna discuss this further. 707-962-9006 Thanks for the inquiry. - Matt --- 07:33 Avian Avenue Bird Forum Statistics Threads 87,497 Posts 1,388,429 Members 5,047 - Classified: The Marketplace http://forums.avianavenue.com/marketplace/91917-birds-love-fresh-eucalyptus.html#post1396701 Hi! We have provided fresh and dried Eucalyptus leaves, chew sticks, perches and branches (including a discounted Gift Pack) to happy bird lovers for over 6 years now. Try some today.. you AND your birds will love them! Our Eucs are totally natural, never been touched and certainly NEVER been sprayed, or altered, in any way, whatsoever! They grow wild here on the coast (we happen to have hundreds of Euc trees on our 13 acres here on the coast) so when we get an order, me and my granddaughters go find a Euc tree (that we can reach, many are well over 100' tall), cut off whatever is wanted (we call it "Euc hunting", and we are pretty sly, so we usually bag our limit!), and go back to the garage to pack and ship the order to you. Choose what you want: Fresh Leaves, chew sticks, or branches/perches, or a combo pack. Choose the size: 1/2 lb, 1 lb, 2 lb, or 5 lb. Give your shipping address: most helpful in getting the eucs to you! Any special instructions: special orders/requests are fine Grow your own Eucs? We're happy to send some Euc seeds, no charge, with any order (just ask) Place your order: Via PayPal, credit card, or send a check ... and boom, fresh cut Eucs are whisked off to you via US Post Office Priority Mail (2-3 days)(even overseas!) Try a Starter Pack today! Only $11.95 + $6 shipping and you'll see how your feathered friends LOVE their Eucs! Call or write with questions... I try to be responsive (but I do have a day job, or two) and easy to approach. ENJOY YOUR EUCS... Your birdies certainly will! - Matt - No worries, Chris... I'm on now. Thanks for trusting me... I do 'sell' Eucalyptus products to happy bird owners (over 6 years now), but I shall keep it clean, honest and straight-forward. I just posted a new thread in The Marketplace, as most bird owners don't know how much their feathered friends LOVE fresh Euc leaves and perches! Thanks again for doing your job. Great site! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Avian Avenue registration From: Chris Lardy Date: Fri, September 07, 2012 6:19 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Sorry about that Matt I was the one that banned you :-) We have had a lot of spammers slip through lately and your user name with Products in it and your email address brought up a red flag. Sorry for the inconvenience I will send you a password reset and you should be able to log in then. Again my apologies Chris --- It's your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it WITH you, but no one can walk it FOR you! If it's to be, it's up to me! (pic posted on FB-ND) When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy." - Dalai Lama It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Antione de Saint-Exupery --- PP = 1404 (better) --- Ad2 --- 08:46 gg@avianavenue.com Ok GG, I understand. 5:1 seems like a lot, but I will comply. Are you waiting for me to post the general messages before you replace the thread? Thanks. - Matt --- Ad2 Tom 09:34 Ad2 sent intermediary file to test - FYI... 1) Fixed 2) Fixed 3) working on this now... Note: no further explanation of #3 is needed... I understand it... I just hadn't coded it. Try the attached. To test, rather than your 6 steps below, try these 3 steps. 1. Click the bottom button to clear the data 2. Double-click the "Autodesk Revenue By Size..." label to re-set the tblRevenueIndSizeFile. 3. Click the 4th button to allocate unknowns. more to follow... - Matt does the best feedback I've seen(!) check his email dated 9.7.2012 screen shots, coloring, side-by-side comparisons, the works! hasn't helped much, 'cause they were sooo detailed that they didn't make sense to me... but... they're quite beautiful, and I can learn from his work. --- 10:20 AA = AvianAvenue okie dokie, GG, thanks for the explanation... sounds like fun when you put it that way! I'll post more this weekend. Thanks for putting my thread back, as people jumped right on it. I don't think that MOST people know how much birds like Eucs, how good they are for them, and/or where to get fresh Euc cuttings/perches. Take care and we'll be in touch. - Matt p.s. - Ever tried Eucs? Wanna try some? Send me your shipping address and I send you a 'trial size' package. www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Avian Avenue Posting Guidelines From: GG Date: Sat, September 08, 2012 10:02 am To: matt@2gethelp.com It would be nice if you would go to Welcome Lane and introduce yourself to everyone. I will put the thread back now but we do keep an eye on vendor's posting, so if you aren't participating, then your product threads might be removed. 5 general posts is really not that much - you can welcome others to the avenue, respond to existing threads/posts about members birds, admire photos, etc Participating on the forum is to your benefit as well - it allows members to get to know you a little better and feel comfortable about you and your products - you will find that while the forum does not endorse any particular vendor(s), we tend to be loyal to 'our' vendors :) GG --- seeds for: - Melissa Vorce - Allison De Hoyos Wait for 9/17: - Destiny Jones --- cleanin' with P (yucky) nappin' order addresses FB "Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. - Deepak Chopra --- , stuff we need from Fresno for class - music - nametags - binders - --- defending shitty behaviour by being shitty --- Debbie R, chairing a meeting nice. good for you, and all, for steppin' up! If we'd all step up and do cool stuff like this... --- my personality is that: - I'm nice, and kind, and loving, FIRST and foremost. - However, I am also no-bs, straight-forward, too not with bravado, and with ultimate humility but --- , write to Sharon some time --- without a brochure, we have nothing because neither of us can take the big talking step, yet. when we are living it, we're unstoppable but when we're having issues, we can't get our whole heart into it when we have a hole in our heart, we can't use our Whole heart. heal the hole. close it. heal it. let it grow back together. it's like a weaping wound, that's never been dressed. it continues to spew forth bile, without your knowledge or permission. it IS helpful to label. it IS helpful to sum yourself up. you can take the label as a big fat judgment, a pigon-holing of you and who you really are, 'cause you're more than just a label, deeper, more unique, a person... or not. or you can say, hmmm... perhaps I do have same tendencies as these other people... hmmm... we alike in this way. maybe we have something to talk about. maybe we can learn from each other. Find ways to connect. find reasons to connect. Have good intentions, please. They do matter Intention Attitude Love start with Imagination can you imagine yourself being loving can you imagine what you want can you identify what you want? so much of this stuff is totally 100% UP TO US! I find that an incredibly freeing, enlivening and wonderful thought, actually. I get to decide. boom, that's freedom. I have freedom to decide who I am how I show up. what I'm 'like'. wtf. it's up to me, and if I change my mind, and I do, boom, I change it again. wow. love it. love that feeling. freedom........... (it helps too that I'm listening to Santana, so I was already dancin' in my chair before I started writing this... but it's relevant. oh, here come the Eurythmics... ha) anyway, it's about knowing we have choice. choose love. choose happy. choose we don't 'get' happy we Decide to be happy, or not. even if things are going shitty, we don't have to FEEL shitty. we don't. no MATTER how shitty things are going outside, we can still feel good on the inside. period. in fact, even if things are going shitty on the inside, like physical problems, EVEN constant physical pain, we can STILL feel good on the inside. check that out! (it ain't always easy, but it can be done... it is in our power) it's true. as Ghandi, and desmond __ etc. as long as I come from "I", there can be no arguement. they can criticize me, but it's not me, it's a behaviour of mine they don't like. behaviours are easy to change. boom. changed, from now on. never do it again, change it, rework it but first, and foremost, be AWARE of it. People do what they do, but can they tell you WHY they do what they do? can you? do you know why you like certain commercials, or women/men, or friends? do you know what drives you, way down deep? for me, I was introduced to a whole new side of myself. I'm medium smart, IQ-wise, but my EQ was oh so low. once I added the beauty and choice, and fun from my right-brain and add that to what I know, and are actively learning in my left-brain, boom. life's good. do you ever see me down for long periods? nope. do you hear me complain much? not interested. you hear me smiling, and dancing, and standing out back on the ferry to feel the wind in my hair and sun on my face for an hour each day. (tears now...) I had no heart. or, my heart was broke. I was a sad boy, and angry boy, a painfully shy boy. I felt alone, and different and totally clueless about life. (ahhhh... saaaad.... full tissue) ok, here's my point. learn about yourself, you don't know so MUCH of you. there's a whole person INSIDE of you that you haven't met yet. it's the little you, that you left behind. she/he had a wisdom that we need. we need to connect with him or her, and find the heart of me, the heart of myself who I am, the pain I've been thru, the lessons, the power, the drive, the will we can take that inner glow add it to what we know and make our world a better place. we're not doing enough. we're not doing it right. we're not as effective, as we could be, as we will be. let's change, and let's change the world. let's look inside ourselves, and bring that out into the light, so people can see it, and know, and feel what we feel. and care, and think, and be kind, and be nice, and connect, and love. because it works. because they're just doing it the way they do it, because they've never seen any other way. it's the legacy of families it's generational, it's educational, it's dysfunctional. let's let it be INSPIRATIONAL to us, that ALL WE GOTTA DO is show people a different way show people themselves. show them they have choices. --- EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! Zip-ties, great idea for holding branches up, or down! Do others of you use them? I could throw some in with branch orders. --- 06:51 Sha Richter give love and gratitude to everything you do in life...it's the only way to have real joy regardless of circumstances --- 06:57 LI-EIN Ruth Tearle commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hello all, I am Ruth Tearle. As a consultant in strategic planning and change management, I have always incorporated both emotional and spiritual intelligence into every intervention I have run - together with the more traditional IQ. I call it using 'the head, heart and soul'. I have written 2 books linking EQ and SQ. "Ride the Wild Tiger" which is a novel that demonstrates the EQ and SQ side of managing change, and "Blackboards, Bubbles - To thine own self be true. --- windows media player says I have: - 2,864 items, 142,891,590 hours(!) wow. --- 07:08 val darn. I tried them both and they came up fine for me. Here they are again, re-attached. .TXT files are the most basic files there are. It should come up in Notepad, or other text editor. What program starts when you double-click it? saving the PDF as a text was a good idea. Yeah, it is a little weird because it's trying to translate everything, including graphics, into text, it's simplest form. That how I built the text file attached... but then I cleaned it up some for you to get started. let me know how it goes. sorry for the hassle. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: from Valerie - questions From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Sat, September 08, 2012 4:46 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Doesn't work at this end. Only the unchangeable PDF--tried saving as text...NOT. The other document came up really weird. .v. --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Venting is cool, Melann! Glad you felt safe enough to 'be real' here. We can do happy... I love happy... but we can also share our pain, and support each other as we go. Whether we say anything or not, know that lots of folks, who really do know their feelings, will be reading this and feeling for/with you. rock on... --- 07:37 10 most popular reasons that companies use telemarketing. It's for more than making cold calls. It's also for: Running sales programs to handle existing accounts Opening new accounts Pre-selling during incoming calls Qualifying people on your prospect list Activating marginal, old and forgotten accounts Introducing new products and services Generating leads Replying to business reply cards, coupons and direct mail letters Following up on direct mail campaigns Coordinating order entry and customer service programs Jay The Father of Guerrilla Marketing Author, "Guerrilla Marketing" series of books --- 7,678 Email Credits --- 08:17 EQ for All “Changing the World from the Inside Out!” - The mission and objectives of the organization 2GetHelp’s mission is to transform people by introducing right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to the masses. We believe that widespread use of EQ could reduce behavior-based social problems -- including suicide, abuse, addiction, crime, mental health, sexual assault, violence, even war – by teaching people about themselves. We gotta collaborate EQ provides the framework for a foundational shift in human consciousness that could very well change/save our planet. We hope to start a movement to introduce EQ teaching/training into home, schools, work and leisure, correctional facilities, care providers, someday even government and politics, for enhanced self-awareness, socialization training and life skills development. Harmony, Transform, renovate Activating the right brain, naturally leading to the ability and willingness to have empathy and compassion for others. Nicer, healthier. Research is showing significant results in many areas with minimal intervention costs. The variety of benefits and improvements being created with EQ, as emotional responsibility can lead all the way to social reform. Every behavior we do is based on at least 1 thought (IQ) and at least 1 feeling (EQ)… but if people aren’t aware of the feeling part, we don’t have all the information we need to make the best behavioural decisions (IQ + EQ). People make more informed decisions, by employing their left- and right-brain, logic and emotion, head and heart. Grass-roots. Magic of connection. EQ, in some ways, could be considered magical… knowing that we can spread the light over the limitless darkness. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only Light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only Love can do that.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., memorial inscription Help people to join forces, to connect, to get together for the purpose of making a difference, and for the connection. Connection. EQ allows and teaches, about connection. EQ is how to make connections, wisely, eyes open, aware Opening your heart. a. know that you can open, or not, and you are in charge b. how to do it in ways that work for you and others c. how to heal the pain of failing to past, to make it work for you, not against you most problems are from failing to connect inability to connect healing BS from the past Connection teach, show, heal connection I want us to set an example If you could teach only 2 feelings to improve the world it would be to have empathy and compassion… for themselves, and naturually, for others. 2 of the most powerful tools for creating connections! Actively Just show them how, they don’t know, never seen Coordinate the network and lead a movement. Oneness, compassion, unity, peace, sanity, matual respect, acceptance, harmony, forgiveness Grass-roots, local involvement, where 2 go, resources What if we could light up the world, from the inside? EQ healing power, trauma, deep-seated pain, anger (which leads to depression) Once people become aware that they decided to be who they are, at a core level, based on stuff that happened to them as a kid, so they can undecide the negatives, from then on. Self-made power and control. Biggest problems, by-product of feelings powerless and out of control, so if these feelings can be nurtured, created __ inside of people, internalized, they will need to less externalize the need for P&C and not do P&C on others, but use empathy and compassion, instead. - Your articulated theory for social change. EQ -> ER -> PR -> SR -> Social Reform • Emotional Intelligence (EQ) leads to Emotional Responsibility (ER) Understanding and accepting that we generate our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours gives us and a sense of ownership, a sense of power and control often lacking in life. • Emotional Responsibility (ER) leads to Personal Responsibility (PR) If they’re my feelings, I want to generate good ones, so I create safety, security and love in my heart, friends and work • Personal Responsibility (PR) leads to Social Responsibility (SR) If I care about me and my feelings, it naturally leads to me caring for others, as well. To have friends, work and purpose, I must work and play well with others. I don’t want to hurt you, because that hurts me. • Social Responsibility (SR) leads to Social Reform (World Peace!) With enhanced EQ, I am more likely to live honorably, honestly, and healthily, feeling significant and connected, thus reducing suicide, crime, mental health, divorce, addictions, violence and maybe someday, even war. • Enter research here: suicides, crime, all men! Men, women are ahead - How you will improve on existing efforts. Create and provide grassroots EQ training for all ages, create a model social environment with many ways to connect, learn and grow, together. Create teams for projects, connection, and growth. Create and provide EQ training to schools, work environments, to the entertainment industry, to the military, to parents, etc. Stats on men involved in social probs, quantify the problems. Support them for prevention, not just cure. Prevent disasters. How are others doing it? Others trying to collaborate lots of non-profits / care-givers, but solid foundation for growth and change, process, environment, focus, concrete practical, life-enhancing tools. Awareness, education and environment. - How your approach is systemic and unique. Show/entertain people how/why to change from the inside out. Core foundational shift, adding heart to head. Making millions of tiny and not so tiny life decisions based on what we know. The more we know about our heart and our right-brain, the better each decision can be, and ultimately, the better our best can be. A new way to think and act, that works for everyone. Dr. Abraham Maslow's best known contribution to Humanistic psychology is his Hierarchy of Human Needs. Many organizations focus on meeting the first two basic physiological and safety needs (i.e. Peace Corps, the UN, Kiva, food banks), but it is addressing the higher-level needs (Social, Esteem and Self-Actualization) where social reform can take place. While the more basic needs are critical to survival, fundamental changes in right-brain EQ knowledge can re-route negative thought patterns, improve attitudes (and hope, and faith), internal beliefs, managed behaviours and empathetic social interactions so profoundly that wide-sweeping social change is possible. Shift EQ without changing current curriculum (Alaska)! - A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan for its first three years. Coordinate a movement to create a worldwide 24x7x365 EQ-friendly environment, teach/show the benefits, results and wonder so people will embrace EQ in their home, school and work. Emergency services. Links to local resources. Support, encouragement, direction, training. Have people take EQ-101, it’s free. Us and other pros teach EQ-102, 103, etc. EQ-201 is free. Certificate. Evidence-based EQ training. EAP programs. Develop EQ brick-and-mortar local 2GetHelp Wellness Centers (including a scream room) EQ training and therapeutic local brick and morter. Economically viable, for-profit or non-profit, from in-home rural to multi-outlet retail stores. Franchise. EQ regional. Local involvement in training centers - An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. a) taught thousands face-to-face, long term contact (3 generations), who have shown dramatic improvements, and decreased issues. b) research studies, both subjective and objective research and testing, show evidence-based intervention some on specific problems, at least a list of actual prob/solutions. - An explanation of how the organization will reach national or global scale. Collaborate, cooperate and instigate the creation of a network of peers and pros connected via a safe, supportive “family” environment using all forms of medium on-line, by-phone, in-person to connect, learn and grow, together. Collaboration “our country, someday even the world.” - An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. earn it, ask for it, borrow it or print it ourselves(!) --- 09:02 AD2 14x, should be 20x all have negatives got it! (I hope) - 09:14 Ok, 20 records now created, rather than 14. You were right about the negatives... I change 3 instances of > to <>... and presto! see attached. hope that does it! - Matt --- other words for Judgment ruling decision finding verdict result sentence decree shrewdness discernment wisdom discrimination intelligence good sense common sense opinion view FEELING reasoning belief assessment appraisal conviction way of thinking considered opinion - 09:33 FB-NDG (Melann) So, I have a judgment about crying and venting... I think they're wonderful, and life-changing, and oh so healing, when done properly! (btw, I also have a judgment about the word judgment, because I think someone misspelled it and left out the other 'e' -- it should be judgement -- but it's not -- and I may or may not get over it... but I digress) The other cool thing about Judgments is that they are one of those cool Personal Responsibility communication tools we can use for effective "I statements". Like "I feel...", "I believe...", "I will..." and "I will not...", we can use "I have a judgment about..." as a way of expressing a bias or opinion in a way that takes 100% responsibility for ourselves (and cuts down on arguments and misunderstandings)! Try it... --- breakfast NFL day ! (watching RG-III kick butt on his first day with the Redskins) cleanin' with p orders MFF filmmakers list (30x) to Pat for editing etc. --- 1:04 PP = 1503 --- 3:37 AA Hi Mizzely, thanks for the question. The bark is semi-hard. You can peel it back with your fingers when it's fresh, and press your fingernail thru it. As the branches dry, the bark gets harder and more brittle (but some seem to like it better dried). I hope that answers it for you... not sure how else to explain it... you'll just have to try some, I guess! --- 5:13 Woohoo -- it's beautiful, you guys! Really classy looking, indeed. Really nice job. Dad, maybe post those pics in our yahoo group, so all can see, and we have 'em all together. poor horse. nice of you guys to take him in. you're not getting yourselves stuck having to be home again, right? the water pump went out in my car, and it took Paula and I 4.5 hours to get back from Ukiah (50 miles). This sounds bad, but it may be a huge blessing. Since I couldn't go to SF today bec. of the car, I had to work from home, and it went well. so I think I'll be able to more often... someday, full-time! there are 8 people on our team (2 in SF, 6 in LA, 1 in Czech Republic!) and ALL telecommute, full-time, except my boss and I... soon to be just my boss! ... the main thing I'm missing is the SF Giants parade Wed. afternoon, down the streets of downtown. Should be wild! New Years 2013 current outta town guest list: - Wendy and Mark - Jon - Me and Paula - Rachel and Josh (pretty sure) We're bringing our own beds, so M&D only need to accomodate 3 extra bodies. We're also planning a 'complete' reunion next August, when Abbie & John will be there. hoping to have Jase and Amy, Scott and Shannon, and Elizabeth there/then, as well. looking forward to seeing ya'll! Should be fun! - Matt --- Eucs Safe for birds list Eucalyptus Species-Do Not Use Any Parts Used in Flower Arrangements http://www.multiscope.com/hotspot/safeplants.htm --- dinner and a movie with the fam PKP, PR, Josh Los Gallitos for burritos and tacos and water "The Odd Life of Timothy Green", Disney $100 but very nice, indeed. --- 10:19 FB-6sEQed Arati Vijay Suryawanshi Hi! Lloyd Sirkin I liked the idea of Giving Herself from your statement, Hi! Joshua , I really liked all the Questions which I always like, I completely agree with Candice Smith, and the one how can you use your strengths to make work bette... See More August 31 at 8:58am · Like Joshua Freedman ?Candice Smith - Thank you!! I've been practicing - I find it a lot easier when I'm not in the midst of a presentation or facilitation, so I've been working on writing compelling questions into my slides, ideally 1-2 questions by themselves. In our Advanced Trainer Certification, and in some of our education training, we talk about FUSION questions. Questions that fuse the cognitive & emotional. September 1 at 12:08pm · Like · 1 Lloyd Sirkin Did my debrief this morning with this wonderful young lady. This is a great example of how difficulties in navigating emotions can have a ripple effect that even though you may have a strong noble goal, consequential thinking, empathy, etc., this one area can diminish the use of ones strengths. This will be a wonderful journey to accompany her on. Yesterday at 1:53pm · Like Matt Perelstein Way to go, Lloyd. I believe that Navigating Emotions is one of the trickiest, and most important, of the EQ competencies, since our emotions underlie every single thing we think, say and do. I'm curious as to how you plan to teach/show her how to master these skills. What's her next step? (keep going, you're doing great!) - pause... --- 11:33 Atlas Shrugged II movie, 10.12.2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCEDSU6JQBs&feature=g-all-u --- 11:40 AA (25 posts i the new thread... TODAY!) Originally Posted by WallyLoopey hm...could you buy in bulk and freeze? YES! Actually, if the leaves, or branches with leaves on, are frozen, it's like time STOPS, completely -- when they're removed from the freezer, even months later, they look, and smell, almost EXACTLY like they did when you put them in! Try it, it's kinda magical. (wholesale accounts and quantity discounts available... just ask) - Matt - got a $130 order, 60-1-footers! - and --- 11:51 Sure, Scott, there's lots going on in the world of EQ these days, I'm happy to say! Here are some sites to look at: Success Stories: http://newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials EQRocks!: http://www.EQRocks.com EQ Lessons: http://www.EQ-101.com EQ Videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 On LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN On Facebook: http://facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop ... and: http://facebook.com/EQRocks ... and: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ --- PP = 1734(!) big day with AA! +7 orders, 1 was $130 (40-1-footers)! --- Gymnastics and strength training, for 2 amazing little boys! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC-AxlsiDSM 1-armed hand-stand pushups(!) --- 9.10 00:05 http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2012/05/02/nine-dangerous-things-you-were-taught-in-school/ http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2012/02/28/the-six-enemies-of-greatness-and-happiness/ http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2012/06/26/20-ways-to-find-your-calling/3/ --- 00:22 (10B, 60-1's) Hi Danielle, I received your nice order for fresh Euc Branches -- thanks! Unfortunately, I had to leave town to work in San Francisco most of the week, so your order should go out on Friday when I return home. Did you want these "little perches" with leaves on, or cleaned off? Straight is better, right? Any other special requests? Enjoy your Eucs! On your next order, let me know, and I can give you a quantity discount... Thanks again. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- When the world is in chaos, we can still have our own inner peace and maintain a sense of calm in sea of unrest. "Why is this happening?" is the most useless question in the Universe. - Neale Donald "You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it." - Robert Anthony --00:58 Wendy Hey you... thanks for the note! Glad you're well, and still kickin' butt on your certs! You rock. One of my customers just turned me on to a Bird site (AvianAvenue.com) that's as big as the sugar glider site we were working with (GliderCentral.net). I registered Saturday, posted a classified ad on Sunday, and ended up getting 7 orders (so far), one of which was for 60 1-foot branches! I'm doing good. Did you see the pics I posted on our Yahoo group? I have a cool commute to work! The work itself is really dry (medical billing data), but the people are excellent, and they really do seem to care, telling me I'm can't drive in the middle of the night, and that I'm working too many hours... nice! Speaking of that, I gotta get some sleep before I leave for SF again in the morning. Let's talk some evening after 6 PST. 916-599-8597 toodles. - Matt --- 00:59 pack and orders and go... 01-02:29 orders 2:30 - 3 ESPN nappage 06 up, shower here 1 order 06:48 go beautiful day totally peaceful drive found myself remembering a lot, and laughing. I like that. Good writing, too! --- 12:19 IMS --- MOST employees, at least in CA, get mandatory Sexual Harassment Awareness for Employees and Supervisors/Managers training upon hire. Maybe this could be expanded to EQ training, as well! --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I'm outta town most of this week for work, so your order should go out on Friday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com PP = __ +3 orders today -186 USPS (ouch!) --- , leave my laptop on tonight (and every night?) --- 5:55 go... IMS password changed to 2Gh2 --- no writing at apt at night salad MNF#1: raiders vs. chargers... horrible game... fell asleep in 1st qtr --- 9.11 HB2Dad(!) 05:20 alarm Tom's there -- yikes! reinstalled windows 7 on his PC but it moved everything to C:\Windows.old so no shortcuts and nothing worked. copied shortcuts installed my Office 2010 made me miss ferry, 'cause he couldn't have done anything without it. --- 09:26 I walked thru Sf this morning, under 20-30-40 story buildings and not a one was being smashed by an airplane. that's a good thing. --- Nelson Mandella --- Karen, 1:30 510-486-4133 --- I love having a cuppa oatmeal every day! ... and our water is excellent. --- , submit colleen's resume --- IMS Pay Employee ID: 32954 Department: US30300111-Informatics Location: Med Vantage San Francisco CA Job Title: Statistician 3 Pay Rate: $3,541.67 Semimonthly 2012-10-31 Med-Vantage, Inc 10/16/2012 10/31/2012 $2518.97 682902 2012-09-14 Med-Vantage, Inc 09/01/2012 09/15/2012 $2656.81 675380 <- full paycheck, no benefits deducted 2012-09-14 Med-Vantage, Inc 09/01/2012 09/15/2012 $1235.00 675381 <- sign-on bonus, less massive taxes 2012-08-31 Med-Vantage, Inc 08/16/2012 08/31/2012 $2509.00 81684 <- almost full paycheck so, 2656 - 228 = 2428 x 2 = 4850/mo. net less travel of about 800 leaves 4k/mo. take-home. which is NOT enough to pay our bills! shit!!! x cancel bonus? if leave within first year, will have to repay $2k, even tho' I only received $1200 --- Doc, you'd your meeting with Sue go re: TCOYL on smashwords? --- Social Skills Scale measures positive social behaviors: http://psychcorp.pearsonassessments.com/HAIWEB/Cultures/en-us/Productdetail.htm?Pid=PAassrs&Mode=summary - Cooperation - Empathy - Assertion - Self-Control - Responsibility --- , invoice Matt @ F4P 10x? yes rate? 65 pd! --- >> get sweater/shirt(s) black, LS, classy T-under --- From: Paula [mailto:paula@projectsanctuary.org] Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2012 12:11 PM To: Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) Cc: Paula Perelstein Subject: New Directions Some notes so we both have them. Add notes or things you have thought of that I haven’t. Love you Music Player- We just have a boom box at work Chairs- 18 to 20 at work Statement Binders and inserts - Binders Costco Hearts – I have to look tonight to see if we have any Purple paint- Look at home Roses – Look at home Coffee maker – Home and office Coffee, creamer and sugar, cups Coffee carafes – at home Water cups Flip Chart to right on Where do we go to dinner Saturday? Can you get off on Thursday? additions: Name tags Water cups - have at home? - Hi. Thanks for getting this started. Coffee – we have in the garage pantry Name tags? – Michele could get from courseroom Water cups - have at home? Music – Michele is getting from Karen Love Note envelopes and paper – from courseroom? Binders – we should have a whole pack of the 1” white ones. Is that what we’re using now? Pillow(s) - ?? Dry erase or regular markers – we might have, if PS doesn’t Dinner – Perko’s or Denny’s? Off Thursday – nope, sorry, we’re behind! --- , MFF: Brian's import didn't work as expected see downloaded file --- >> LBL combine 3x into 2 (POD and PAD) Effort goes into POD 1 BE, 2 FEs mockup Dashboard get started on making Letters into emails due by EOSept, for first mailing 1st week in Oct. --- >> get toothpicks for work --- "Attribution" - giving someone credit for something --- 4:42 uno mas --- Efficacy = the capacity to produce an effect, the ability to produce the desired result. effectiveness, efficiency, usefulness, worth, value, ability --- >> write to Paul, again. so sad that I wasted that time spent with just him when we were moving! --- 5:22 half-an-uno mas --- “Success leaves clues.” - Tony Robbins --- 6 go (finally...) --- >>>>>>>>> missing stuff from Tom's while Lumanation was playing! --- 9.12 >>>>>>>>> "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." - Antonio Smith this is not the end, but the beginning. All endings start something better. It is inevitable. We all desire to find our tribe, a community of those that feel comfortable to us and nurture our journey. --- LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Have you ever had the experience of taking lessons in Emotional Intelligence from a child? I agree and share with just about all that has been said - but the concept of 'education' in all its aspects is also part of that consideration. When we as adults are directly involved with our emotions in an absorbing situation we can so easily run the risk of overlooking anything else outside what is ‘an obvious understanding’, but that ‘obvious understanding’ is very likely to be based on a bit of good sense and a lot of experience, which at certain times we may take far too much for granted. Sometimes as parents and as teachers we feel that our first priority is - to tell the kids in our care what we think they need to know, ...when, perhaps, our first action may well be better - to ask them what ‘they think’ they know already and if there is anything else they want to know. It is at that point that we can discuss an essential menu and a choice menu. Indeed, in that respect – it may give us a whole new perspective for what we understand about ‘education’. That’s also the difference between - IQ ...or ‘intellectual intelligence’ and - EQ ...or ‘emotional intelligence’ ...and justifies a deeper consideration of what applied Emotional Intelligence is really all about. By doing so we may learn more about the kids in our care as well as learn a bit more about ourselves ...and the other people around us as we strive to be more effective parents and teachers. After all, teaching is not about ‘stuffing facts’ into people ...but it might be more about – encouraging other people to be thoughtful and to be more receptive ...so that they will want to - and be able to learn more effectively for themselves. Posted by Ray Hobby - SMILING is infectious; you catch it like the flu, When someone SMILED at me today, I started SMILING too I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin When he smiled, I realised - I’d passed it on to him. I thought about THAT SMILE - then realised its worth, A single SMILE – just like mine – could travel round the Earth. So, if you feel a SMILE begin, don’t leave it undetected LET'S START AN EPIDEMIC QUICK - AND GET THE WORLD INFECTED ! - Read a good self-help book and you will be inspired. Read it over and over, take it apart, study it and master it, and you will be a highly paid professional teaching others your own version of the same material. "Open your heart and you will be amazed at the transformations taking place all around you." — Rev. Ed Bacon --- Hi Shruti, I was wondering if I could ask a big favor, please. We are having 5 people coming to our home Friday night for the weekend, and my wife would very much like some help getting our house ready for guests. Now that I have those measure validations to do, I feel like I have a clear focus. In fact, my goal is to finish them both next week (not sure if I can, but I like the challenge)! So, I will still WFH on Friday, but I’d very much like to take tomorrow (Thursday, 9/13) off to help my wife out. Would that be ok? Thanks! - Matt Matt Perelstein Healthcare Data Analyst, Informatics, Payer Solutions IMS Health® ? 111 Sutter St, Suite 1400? San Francisco, CA 94104 ? 415-814-7126 PLEASE NOTE: This e-mail and any attachments may be confidential or privileged and is solely for the intended addressee(s). Do not share or use without IMS approval. If received in error, please contact the sender and delete the email and any attachments. --- 09:49 Hi. Here's the best I could come up with to let you know my benefits choices and selections so far. Let's discuss... Benefits Summary (detail) >> PKP and RMP's SSN needed - Anthem BCBS PPO Medical, w/o HSA Employee + 2 $165.51 Before-Tax not: Anthem BCBS PPO with HSA Employee + 2 $92.03 Before-Tax - Delta Dental PPO Employee + 2 $23.02 Before-Tax not: Delta Dental HMO Employee + 2 $8.58 Before-Tax - Co Pd Life: Salary X 1 : $85,000 No choices, free - Optional Term Life 1X ( $85,000) coverage. Your Cost: $11.05 Optional Term Life 2X ( $170,000) 22.10 After-Tax Optional Term Life 3X ( $255,000) * 33.15 After-Tax Optional Term Life 4X ( $340,000) * 44.20 After-Tax Optional Term Life 5X ( $425,000) * 55.25 After-Tax Waive - Spouse Term Life $100,000 ( $100,000) coverage. Your Cost: $13.00 1.30 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $10,000 ( $10,000) 2.60 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $20,000 ( $20,000) * 3.90 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $30,000 ( $30,000) * 5.20 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $40,000 ( $40,000) * 6.50 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $50,000 ( $50,000) * 7.80 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $60,000 ( $60,000) * 9.10 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $70,000 ( $70,000) * 10.40 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $80,000 ( $80,000) * 11.70 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $90,000 ( $90,000) WAIVE - Child Term Life ( $10,000) coverage. Your Cost: $0.60 Waive - Voluntary Group Acc Family coverage for $50,000 Your Cost: $0.53 0.01 ^ After-Tax Voluntary Group Acc Emp only 0.01 ^ After-Tax Voluntary Group Acc Family Waive - Long Term Disability coverage. Your Cost: $7.79 The actual amount of coverage for this plan is based upon your salary, and will vary in accordance with any changes to your salary over time. This is a 66.67% salary replacement. Please note: If you change your election from the core plan to the buy plan, you will be required to complete evidence of insurability. The Employee Solutions Center will contact you to complete this process. Long Term Disability - Core $0.00 After-Tax IMS provides this benefit to you at no cost. This is a 40% salary replacement. - Legal with Employee Only coverage. Your Cost: $6.75 Employee only The Legal Plan, which is administered by Hyatt Legal Plans, Inc., can assist you with resolving a variety of personal legal problems. It gives you and your family access to professional legal representation at an affordable price. Waive Dependent Beneficiary Paula Kay Perelstein Spouse Rachel McKay Perelstein Child - Health Care Flex Spending Acct WAIVED for now Min $250/yr / 7 pay periods remaining in calendar year = $35.72/paycheck Health Care Flex Spending Acct Limited Health Care Spending Waive - Dependent Care Flex Spend Acct WAIVED for now The Dependent Care Flex Spending Care (DCSA) allows you to use pre-tax dollars to pay for eligible dependent daycare. IMS Health will match 50% of your first $1000 contributed up to $500. - Health Savings Account (HSA) WAIVED (see Medical PPO with HSA) Health Savings Account Health Savings Account Family Waive Election Summary Summarized estimates for new Benefit Elections Total Before Tax After Tax Your Costs 228.25 188.53 39.72 --- IMS Snapshot We provide members, providers and plans with information that can influence choices, change behavior and create a meaningful change in the quality and cost of healthcare in this country. - Founded in 1954 - Operating in 100+ countries - 38+ billion healthcare transactions processed annually - Tracks more than 80% of global pharmaceutical sales activity, 1.3+ million products - Information on 260+ million de-identified patients worldwide for unparalleled treatment insights - 98,000+ information suppliers, 695,000 individual data points globally - 5,000 databases supporting 16,000 healthcare clients, including pharma, biotech, payers and providers - Healthcare reference assets on 5 million professionals, with 500,000 organizational linkages and 2.4 million affiliations - Thousands of proprietary methodologies, including patented systems for analytics, data encryption and forecasting - Global Data Center with 3,600 servers, 2,800 “virtual” servers; 3 petabytes of online storage and 14 petabytes of archived storage --- byte kilobyte megabyte - million gigabyte - billion terabyte - 1000 billion petabyte - 1 million billion --- Do I get any vacation days yet? Shruti asked Kevin. Kevin said he'd check with Daisy. --- , Save off Payson4\ChicagoAlbums.zip --- PP = 1777 + many orders (5 today, 5 yesterday) ...and 2 new subs this week -20 Amnesty Int'l Doing good(!) >> update AA Thursday. --- 5:55 out (to apt, CostCo, Michaels, home!) --- 9.13 07:05 home here invoice Matt @ FfP, $650 --- 11:59 fire up IMS laptop --- Leadership study on EQ in leaders, by gender http://www.6seconds.org/2012/09/11/research-emotional-intelligence-gender-career/ --- Hi Elle Jay, Can you help with this, please? Thanks... let us know an ETA. - Matt 707-962-9006 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: caroll ann coleman/assesment from Dr.Downing 2010 From: Caroll ann Coleman Date: Thu, September 13, 2012 2:20 pm To: helloo, this is caroll ann coleman im sending you this email, requesting a copy of the assement Doc.Downing did for me back in 2010. a copy /email of this is needed before sept 26 2010. my number is 559-761-2312/ and the e-mail is chinablueblackwidow@hotmail.com thank you for your time and patience, caroll ann coleman --- 7 Traits of Truly Inspiring Leaders http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/6-traits-of-truly-inspiring-leaders.html After conducting interviews with thousands of executives, I've noticed there's a subset of bosses who inspire their employees and colleagues to achieve more than they ever thought possible. These individuals tend to share the following traits: 1. Purpose Inspiring leaders believe that success serves a higher purpose. When you ask what motivates them, they talk about making other people successful. Uninspiring leaders believe that success is their higher purpose. When you ask what motivates them, they talk about what makes them personally satisfied. 2. Giving Back Inspiring leaders feel an obligation to "give back." Their long-term plans usually include pro bono work or even endowing a charity. Uninspiring leaders feel no such obligation. Their long-term plans are limited to cashing in and/or buying physical objects. 3. Gratitude Inspiring leaders are deeply grateful. They know that their success is hugely dependent upon accidents of birth and circumstance. Uninspiring leaders are self-satisfied. They secretly believe their success is a natural result of being smarter and better than everyone else. 4. Beliefs & Values Inspiring leaders treasure their beliefs. They don't wear their values on their sleeves, but their deeply held convictions pervade everything they say and do. Uninspiring leaders foist their opinions. They demand converts to whatever religious sect or management fad currently captures their fancy. 5. Empathy Inspiring leaders care about people. They agree with Bill Gates that the fortunate few have an obligation to help those who are less fortunate. Uninspiring leaders couldn't care less. They agree with Ayn Rand that the poor are merely "moochers" begging for a handout. 6. Team Focus Inspiring leaders spread the credit. They never brag about themselves. Instead they redirect praise toward everyone else on the team. Uninspiring leaders spread the blame. They are as quick to mention the mistakes of underlings as they are to toot their own horns. 7. Energy Inspiring leaders are uplifting. You come away from meetings with them thinking, Gee, I'd really like to work here. Uninspiring leaders are depressing. You come away from meetings with them thinking, Gee, I'm glad I don't work for that jerk. Every truly inspiring executive, manager, or entrepreneur I've ever met has shared most or all of the traits described above. Are there uninspiring leaders? Absolutely. And they're often quite good at motivating people. They just use different tools: primarily fear and greed. --- Sharon & Glori here --- Gen. Stanley McChrystal: Leadership is a Choice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7DzQWjXKFI Sometimes the best thing you can do as a leader to the people below you is to get along with the managers above you. do you operate from a moral compass that they can believe in? require people to work together as a team "It's not complex, but it's very hard." Mindset change is not complex Mindset is extaordinarily important we're asking them to believe believe in their nation, their leadership monument you did what we asked you to do. --- , PS: Oct and Nov. --- Gwen said GoDaddy was hacked last week and their entire site was down! so she made http://www.eucproducts.cinnamonstix-n-sugar.com/leaves.html on a dif. hosting account (ipage) for me --- LI-EIN Nikki Levine Exelbert 4:13pm Sep 13 Hi, I am new to this Network and happy to become more involved with what EQ has to offer. As a Graduate of Naropa University, EQ and SEL seems to be a natural extention to the foundation of what I learned. The mindfulness training I received from Naropa flows right into this model, because meditation is about self-awareness of body, speech, and mind. As well as seeing patterns develop, consequences of those patterns, delaying responses to strong feelings that arise, kindness and acceptance of what is happening now, and the development of more expansive thinking by activating the right brain. I'm sure this is why I am so attracted to this model cause its not just a concept that I find interesting. I've directly experienced the benefits of "training my own mind" through mindfulness/meditation practices, and the emotional awareness that is birthed from it with time and practice. I look forward to learning more about the correlation between EQ and mindfulness, as well as how to implement it into the school system in S. Fl. --- Danielle ordered 60 1-footers new customer, sticks, coins and halves for sale http://www.thelittleperchcompany.com/toy-parts.html --- 9.14 06:33 LI-EIN marian C. commented on Have you ever had the experience of taking lessons in Emotional Intelligence from a child? Yes. I think it is very important for adults to ask their children and grandchildren what it is that THEY feel about someone or some situation. Often we seem to project OUR feelings onto them,based soley on OUR experiences,or OUR concept of what we think is the "right" way to feel, or the "right" choice to make.Of course,since children are not miniature adults ( though some,sadly, are treated as such),they require, and desire guidance,discipline,etc. However,whenever possible I believe and feel, they should be allowed to "weigh in" on matters that concern them. The old addage-" You'll do it because I said so !" doesn't seem very fair-minded to me. If given the choice, I believe most people would prefer to live in a democracy, rather than a Dictatorship. Then again,what do I know. Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember someone saying something like " ...and a little child shall lead us". What was that all about,anyway? - Chris H. commented on Is age a requirement for wisdom? Probably we would need to come to an agreement to what is wisdom before we could explore the many facets of this question. If wisdom is defined as "1.The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight." or "2. Common sense; good judgment", I think we would have to say it is different from speed of learning (especially motor learning), or intelligenge (fluid or crystal). "Sapientia - Amicitia - Libertas" Sapientia - Wisdom Amicitia - Friendship Libertas - Freedom Discussion: What's the Main Point of EQ? It's our choice how we feel "Life is mind-made" Dr. Chris Eisenbarth "It's (all) just an event - It's your choice how you want to feel" Response-ability = ability to respond (cognitively, emotionally, behaviorally to life in the best possible way, instead of react) Thoughts cause feelings, not events No one upsets us, we upset ourselves Posted by Ray Mathis - What's the Main Point of EQ? It is an inbuilt mechanism enabling one individual to express his feeling and reactions to a similar soul may be on same mode or with/without advantage over expression capability. Posted by Murthy Kn --- MFF_EmailMasterList https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ar9AhbywMl1fdDJsN1FnUzAwZFpvYWdXbVVDLWxtT0E --- Cutting People out of my life does not mean I hate them... it means I respect me. Instead of judging people for their past, stand by them and help them repair their future. Look back and learn from your experiences. Look forward and see hope Look around and find reality Look with and find yourself. --- 07:32 Done! Add/edit/delete your contacts... MFF EmailMasterList https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ar9AhbywMl1fdDJsN1FnUzAwZFpvYWdXbVVDLWxtT0E - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: MFF Email List From: Christine Wagner Date: Thu, September 13, 2012 8:41 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: betsy ford , Paul Kemp , Alex Fields , Christine Kenton , Mark Forgea , Pat Ferrero , Bob Woelfel , Arlene Moorehead Matt you're doing a fabulous job pulling all this together and I know how much it's appreciated, so thank you! I think putting the list on Googledocs is the best idea myself. CW --- 07:41 LJ Hi. Do you still have the files? How hard are they to get to? Thanks. - Matt - Yeah, sounds like a drag, but next Thurs is still the 20th, so that would work fine. You said they're in 2 boxes, right?... maybe you can move them more toward the front, in case this happens again. Actually, if you'd like to to ship the boxes to me/us, we can reimburse you the postage. Thanks. Sorry for the hassle. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: caroll ann coleman/assesment from Dr.D owning 2010] From: "ragamuffinnlove@aol.com" Date: Fri, September 14, 2012 8:46 am To: "Matt Perelstein" Yeah, its double doored . :-). Uh, well honestly it would be very difficult for me to get it to her before then. I will need help unloading my storage to get to the boxes.... My bro has next Thursday off. Can we try for that day and I will let you know. --- 07:50 Hi Danita, danita@thingsforwings.ca I see that you sell dried Eucalyptus branches and other hunks on your (beautiful) site. Obviously you have a steady source for them. Do you ever have need for fresh Eucs? If so, let me know. You could sell fresh perches or 'sticklettes' WITH leaves on, as the birds love 'em and they're pretty, and smell nice. In fact, you wouldn't even have to stock the Eucs, if you don't want to. Take orders, send me my portion (50% of my retail + shipping) and the customer's order/address, and I'll drop-ship directly to them... you could also customize the "instruction" page that I include, and the return address sticker, so my/our name won't appear anywhere, just ThingsForWings! Any interest? Thanks. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LI-EIN What's the greatest success principal you've ever learned? My greatest success principal was Emotional Responsibility! Once I realize how much of what I thot, felt and did was totally, 100%, completely up to ME, it no longer made sense to blame, whine or deny... and has therefore led more to my success(es) than any other lesson I can think of! Good question, Jeff... what's yours? --- 08:20 Follow Shawna LOVE has been on my mind lately and it has inspired another discussion topic. LOVE obviously means self-love. Setting boundaries with my daughter and my boyfriend have proven to be challenging for me. I love them and want to do so much for them that I found myself doing too much, taking their responsibilities away from them. As I realized that was not being an effective leader I have started to step back. Any advice, or thoughts for me on this subject? Hi Shawna. Thanks for sharing, and bringing up one of THE most important feelings of all... Love! Most everything we do, both personally and at work, is based on love... love for ourselves, love of feeling loved, love of making a difference, love of paying our bills (well, love of eating, sleeping, feeling safe, having freedom, etc.) and loving life enough to keep going. I love, therefore I am. What I think you're asking about is relationship love -- boundaries, limits, preferences, communication, sharing, caring, growing, leading -- that kinda love, right? The good news is that most of those are skills that can be learned... if you provide the love part. My guess is that you have a lot of love for your daughter and boyfriend, and it's just coming out strongly in doing and caring and protecting. ("what we protect, we make weak" - Myron Doc Downing). Maybe you can increase your love for them verbally (tell 'em), and decrease your need to protect and pamper them (they'll probably appreciate it... but they may fight you at first). You can do it... just keep lovin' yourself and them! --- oh. sorry, Danita. I blew that one. I just went back thru my notes, and we've talked before, last November. Well, now I think I have a better idea of what you're doing with 'em, so I can send you more of what you're looking for... thicker, clean, straight, no side branches, no leaves, hard, brown, solid branches... up to 3' long. Did I send you my wholesale price list? Do you need any more yet? Why don't I send a small shipment of Exactly what I'm talking about to see if that's more of what you want. whatchathink? (sorry again for not rememberin') - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus From: Danita Morrison Date: Fri, September 14, 2012 8:22 am To: "" Hi Matt I bought the euc from you. I don't want to do the drop ship thing as I like control over what I mail out. I only like the thicker branches, 1/2-1". But the only ones I can use are the nice bark ones that are brown. Some of the stuff you have sent is grey or green and course. It doesn't look as nice so I can't use it. Danita www.thingsforwings.ca --- "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom" - Victor Frankl --- EQ can most certainly be learned, and cultured, and encouraged, and applied, Vikki -- a bunch of us have been teaching it successfully for over 25 years now. And, yes, it can be assessed, and measured, and quantified, and improved, and enhanced (IQ's kinda 'stuck, while EQ is NOT!). EQRocks! --- WF, $44 Check by phone Conf. 4658 --- 09:30 LI-EIN How emotional intelligent works when we are depressed ? Matt Perelstein • Big strides have been made in relieving depression using emotional healing work, Rajamohan. We're finding that lots of (minor) Depression is based on Anger! ("Depression is anger turned inward." - Sigmund Freud, or "Depression is anger without enthusiasm.", says I). If people realize/accept/allow/release their anger, often their depression subsides, as well. * Depression = Anger + Powerlessness. Mobilize the anger * Depression Study in Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/charting-the-depths/201011/we-are-losing-the-fight-against-depression * Depression seems to progress in stages: 1. Powerlessness 2. Anger 3. Judgment 4. Denial 5. Defeat * "Depression: Illness or Symptom" by Myron Doc Downing, Ph.D., LMFT http://2gethelp.org/docs/doc/EQ-DocDowning-depression-as-symptom.pdf --- 9.16 (sunday) 06:21 Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: LOVE has been on my mind lately and it has inspired another discussion topic. Matt - You're quote was like "ahhh...oops, I do that :)" I will try that, telling them more and decreasing my need to pamper and do everything, and see what result I get. That will also give me a bit more time for me which I need now as I'm 6 months pregnant :) Thanks Matt. Shawna Posted by Shawna Garcia www.EmpoweredMommas.com - The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What's the greatest success principal you've ever learned? "Blowing up" my resentment. At one point in my life I was taught about the power of forgiveness. I knew I had a great resentment towards my parents about the way they raised me. I wanted to "get back on them", so I acted dissatisfaction. This controlled my whole being. So, I invited them at my house. Took them to a quiet place (my bedroom) ansd ashed them to sit next to me. I put my arms around them and said: "Mom, dad, I love you". (not knowing what woud happen nor if it was true what I said). Then (my parents stayed quiet) I became overwhelmed with sadness and love at the same time. I started crying and could not stop. All anger and resentment appeared in full and at the same time I felt love. My parents had dome everything within their ability for me (before that was not enough. I wanted better and more). Then I was free of all that "old stuff". More important I got in touch with what love is for me now. Not demanding and giving unconditionally. Love and kind regards, Wilbert PS Thank you Joshua for mentioning the "blaming others". This inspired me to write this contribution. Posted by Wilbert Louwers --- What's the Main Point of EQ? People smarts. Posted by Sarah Longman M.Ed PGD B.Ed --- MCP testimonial "Working with Matt Perelstein is a pleasure. He is a rare combination of technical expertise, drive, and accountability together with a professional, accommodating, and easygoing attitude. Looking at his many successes, it's obvious that Matt is an excellent database analyst that enjoys his work and the people he works with." --- PP = 1691 --- 07:08 redoing ND signage for wall diploma roster statement copy to thumb drive to take to Paula's PC --- 07:14 (boy, I'm really trusting you -- I've never given all this info out to anyone before...) NDW: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/wp-login.php admin / admin EQ-101: http://www.2gethelp.org/blog/wp-login.php MattPerelstein, M7777 2GH4V: 2GetHelp4Veterans www.NewDirectionsForVeterans.com http://2gethelp.org/nd4vets/wp-admin MattP / 2wCZh5HF9G 2GetHelp.org http://2gethelp.org/2_get_help/wp-login.php Matt Perelstein / M7777 EQRocks! http://www.eqrocks.com/wp-admin MattRocks / 2gethelp 2gethelp.org mperelst / Mcp77777 ftp://ftp.eqrocks.com eqhealin / 2gethelp or sliloh@eqrocks.com / 2gethelp Good luck with it all! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Received an error message so resending ... Fwd: Missing some pieces ... From: Melinda Janicki Date: Sat, September 15, 2012 3:47 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt - just checking in regarding the email below I sent last night ... On Fri, Sep 14, 2012 at 10:45 PM, Melinda Janicki wrote: Hey there Matt - really excited to get the edited theme up and graphics we created for you but I need ftp access to your site I only have the admin access for your wordpress - I would also like to extract some settings from the other theme that we couldn't grab from the live site - so can you also send me wordpress admin access for your other two sites? --- LI-EIN Chris J H. Teaching Emotional Intelligence How can we teach emotional Intelligence to more people so we can raise the level of maturity of people is this country and allow people to be more responsible and accomplish more It is not really taught in school.............it needs to be taught by groups like this Ideas?.................I have mine lets hear yours..............thanks Chris --- Fatima Karim commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hello everyone! First of all I'd like to thank Wilbert for introducing me to such an awesome platform of discussion. I'm Fatima Karim from Karachi, Pakistan. I'm a student of psychology. I wish to pursue my career in research in cognitive neuroscience. I have been working as a trainer and consultant for the youth. I have joined this network because there are many intellectuals sharing the interest: emotion. I want to get to know people's opinion how they think and feel about specific things and how can we change it in a certain way to bring about positive impact. How can we implement the theoretical knowledge of human emotion in the daily life and create innovation. I'm looking for some interesting hypotheses which can inspire my research on human cognition. It is just my beginning in research so I’m looking forward to learn a lot and get intellectual support from the group members. - Bill C. commented on What is the role of language in Emotional Intelligence. Greetings Bahl - that's a big question with many sides to it so please forgive me if my comments do not resonate with what you had in mind in asking it. As I reflected on your question a few ideas immediately sprang to mind for me.. (1) Language is essential to EI because it is a major medium through which we connect and express our feelings. If people cannot articulate how they feel very well - I think it's called emotional literacy - their emotions remain unmapped territory for themselves and others (2) We know that our Amyygdala - through imagination and our language centres in our brain - responds to feeling words and that we somehow regulate or moderate our emotions by naming feelings. Dr Dan Siegel has a great phrase for this - name it to tame it. (3) I guess on a higher level, we experience reality through our feelings - joy, sadness, etc - and translate our feeling experience into words in our inner-dialogue. So in a very real sense, language is the medium through which we feel, experience and filter reality - and some interesting work on this suggests that the language we speak and culture we hark from, have a lot to do with our patterns of feelings and seeing reality itself Please forgive if my comments seem off-beam....Regards and thanks for the opportunity to think about your question - Bill --- 07:28 Hi Celeste, It was good speaking with you yesterday. THANKS so much for your subscription order and WELCOME to the elite group of fresh Eucalyptus subscribers! I understand that you want the Eucs to display in flower vases, and I would like to send you the most beautiful, and sweet-smelling Eucs I can. Here's what I suggest: There are two distinct types of Euc leaves... the young, grayish, oval-shaped leaves that often have a stronger smell, and the long, beautiful, mature, green, banana-shaped leaves that are attached together with a thin, flexible stems. I'm thinking it would be best to send both kinds for this first order, so you can see what you like best... you decide which you prefer, or both... and next month we can adjust your order to match your needs. Sound good? Thanks again! I will always send you the best, freshest, prettiest Eucs I can! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: How emotional intelligent works when we are depressed ? Hello Balwant, in my experience, not everyone gains the wisdom of EI with passing years. Some people do learn from their experiences but not everyone. People of all ages prefer to blame others, rather than take responsibility for their own lives. It's an ongoing process that we have to work at. As Matt says, depression is in effect, repressed emotion. Making a choice to face up to the way you feel when you're depressed, requires courage and is the first step to overcoming your depression. What does often come with age is the realisation that the way you feel about an experience or relationship hasn't resolved with time. You may recognise some patterns and decide to take action at that point, but not everyone does. Posted by Linda Everett --- 07:42 sent invite to Pat Ferrero re: Groups.google.com pfcine@earthlink.net --- 9.17 05:30 up, shower, pack --- 06.16 Hi. (MFF BOD) 1. I just wanted to ensure that we'll be discussing each of our job assignments, as CW had requested a month or so ago. 2. We also need to have (daily) coverage for our email account - MendocinoFilmFestival@gmail.com. 3. Does the MFF 'society' idea deserve mentioning (maybe under item #9 'future events planning')? 4. Under 5b, let's mentioned the planning/collecting of pics/articles for the next eblast (in October, and each month thereafter). 5. Does our newly shared MFF Contacts list need to be mentioned, at all? Ok, I'm off to SF, again. Talk to ya'll tomorrow (by phone). Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Meeting Agenda for 9/18/2012 From: Christine Wagner Date: Sun, September 16, 2012 8:32 pm To: Paul Kemp Cc: Alex Fields , Arlene Morehead , Betsy Ford , Bob Woelfel , Christine Kenton , Mark Forgea , Matt Perelstein , Pat Ferrero , Ann Walker Thanks Paul. Looking forward to the meeting. See you all there. CW On Sun, Sep 16, 2012 at 1:36 PM, Paul Kemp wrote: Hi All, We’re meeting at 5 PM in our new office in the Water Tower behind the corner of Lansing and Ukiah Sts. Meeting A will be our normal Board Meeting: Meeting B will be an Operations Meeting for the November Screenings. Following is the Agenda for Meeting A: 1. Call to order 2. Approval of Minutes from last meeting 3. Treasurer’s report 4. Nominate Officers: VP Development & VP Operations 5. Committee Discussion; Assignments, Schedule, Report Protocols a. Friends Committee plan and schedule b. PR Committee assignments, schedule, interim coverage c. Finance/Budget Committee plan, assignments, schedule 6. Recognition plaques for Patrons, Sponsors, “Friends” 7. Telephone Voice Mail Protocol; assignment; schedule 8. Open House Proposed for October 13th, Second Saturday 9. Coordination with MAC and MMF; future events planning; Liaison 10. Date for next BOD Meeting. 11. Additional items requested by Board Members The Agenda and attendance for Meeting B will be determined between Pat and Alex. Please feel free to suggest additional agenda topics you feel we must address Tuesday evening. PK --- mcp testimonial LI-EIN What's the greatest success principal you've ever learned? The simple answer for me is: feelings have value. Realizing this has been transformational for me, and so many others -- individually & organizationally. AND, I love what Matt wrote. It was a huge surprise to me to realize how much I was blaming others for my choices and feelings (and sometimes still do). It's acutely uncomfortable taking total ownership of my own life... and amazingly freeing. Still practicing BOTH these -- easier to write than to do. Posted by Joshua Freedman Joshua Freedman • Matt - you have been such an invaluable member and leader of this group -- thank you for bringing so much passion -- and emotional intelligence -- to this role! Of course almost no one in the group can see all you do since the moderating is mostly invisible to everyone... but all you who appreciate that this group is almost spam-free should know that's because Matt and some other moderators and I scan through every new post before we approve. There are often 100s a day... and often the vast majority are either off topic or commercials... --- 06:32 Hi Eduardo! Thanks much for thinking of me! About a month ago, I woulda been all over your idea to work back at FI$Cal... but since then I gotta a job (a real job, as an employee this time, with benefits!), in San Francisco... so I stay in San Rafael, and take the ferry to work everyday. Best wishes with everything! I hear Accenture is an excellent company to work for, and you'll do fine there. Take care and thanks again. - Matt (916) 599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FI$Cal Project (Data Cleansing - [2nd round ?]) From: Eduardo Date: Fri, September 14, 2012 11:08 am To: matt@2GetHelp.com Hi Matt, Hope everything is going well. After few months on we were as a teammates with Metavista, now yesterday, I have received a potential role related to FI$Cal project again. As far as I understood, at this point Accenture team is committed to perform Data Conversion and State will deliver a bid for Data Cleansing. Below is the point of contact details, just in case you were interested in talk to him, evidently, feel free to mention my name as reference. Happy Friday, Eduardo. Brian Dempsey Manager, Innovation and Recruitment Direct Line: (415) 532-8513 Cell: (415) 505-9987 Fax: (415) 532-8838 --- 06:39 Ok, the brochure is my next priority. And we just finished our first (EXCELLENT!) ND in Fort Bragg... thanks to you!! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: from Valerie - flyer From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Fri, September 14, 2012 9:24 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Yes, this should work. Take your time, fill it in the way you want with text and photos, and current contact and cost info. When I get your final draft, I can play around with it...maybe come up with several versions for you to see. Sometimes, I leave one panel blank for mailing, but you have so many important things to say, we'll need every bit of space. Picturing it tri-folded, your biggest, best, most important messages should appear on the front panel before you open it. Then when it's opened, those 3 panels should combine interesting, larger, color and black and white text with photos and logos interspersed with interesting text. Your least important (or more dry stuff) should go on the remaining back two panels. Stacey had her final one printed out from a dics at a copy place with a little heavier paper and clearer printing than at home. Though you may have a printer person doing the whole thing, maybe they can fill with a good background/color or design that's not too "busy" and do the actual printing better tha regular machines with better paper--depending on expense. Also, if we do it this way, it's easy to change contact information, cost, etc. yourself. And, if money runs thin, you (we) can print at home. .v. --- Daniel Goleman: key ingredients to build rapport http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uowxqr5N1YY --- 06:54 pack 1 order and go! saw Sharon 07:18 leave (a bit late) called home to tell Glori to take some Eucs called Wendy good writing in Fat Little notebook --- 10:18 SR nibbles, change, trash, check e's and WF (check's in, with bonus) thot I was fine... 11:08 to ferry... whoops... lot full, can't make 11:10 drove in Stockton/Sutter parking garage (MUCH cheaper!) subway 12:10 boom, here --- , orders, start with patricia Sparks (see below) Well, I need larger leaves, or a variety of sizes, some of the leaves still on branches since that gives an interesting affect. Your idea of prettier branches is cool. The silk and wool fabrics I want to dye are about 14-20 inches wide. So the branches shouldn't be real big. That is, they shouldn't be too thick to be wrapped around the pipe I'm using for dyeing. Have you had other people doing this? Thanks, Pat Sparks --- PP = 1788 -29.95 24 hour (not good) +130 order +60 order ++ >> 24HOUR FITNESS USA,INC 800-432-6348 CA Completed Details Debit Card Signature Purchase To 24HOUR FITNESS USA,INC 800-432-6348 CA 1MC08138YM1489749 -$29.99 USD --- , type out handwritten LBL notes from notebook Invoice 'em! --- >> find a retractable mini USB cord for phone --- , Get PR's new phone at Best Buy Droid M --- PowerPoint Labeled Hierarchy Hierarchical Relationships tool When you choose a layout for your SmartArt graphic, To do this: Use this type: Show nonsequential information. List Show steps in a process or timeline. Process Show a continual process. Cycle Create an organization chart. Hierarchy Show a decision tree. Hierarchy Illustrate connections. Relationship Show how parts relate to a whole. Matrix Show proportional relationships with the largest component on the top or bottom. Pyramid --- dos mas tired headache toothache? --- How to convert a volume from FAT or FAT32 to NTFS from the command prompt convert drive_letter: /fs:ntfs switching Payson making backup to \DROID, first --- wow, I'm super tired! 1/2 mas 20 mas try to get to Parking garage by 6, else $3 more --- , reply to Doc re: Sue's involvement with TCOYL , Call M&D re: mom's procedure , call Wendy back , write back to Gloria re: PTSD grant --- drove around SF, on Marina, past wharfs very nice traffic, but didn't care talked to Gloria for a half-hour re: grants Marin Brewing Broncos lost MNF (Peyton Manning's first loss as a Bronco) Giants won Evan, 25. Cornell, winemaker - pd --- 9.18 Tuesday morning in SR 04:45 "If you allow yourself to feel the way you really feel, maybe you won't be afraid of that feeling anymore." - Tori Amos trust is unnecessary when you don't want or need anything. --- tom's pc was recently cleaned off and rebuilt, by a friend of his I donate my laptop's mouse to the cause, as his right-click didn't work and there are some things, like CD -> Eject, that I couldn't figure out how to do except for right-click --- IMS , I suggest that Youde and I get together and make a list of the tests you're dismissing the debug tool too early there are some parts of it, that work great. let's meet with Amber and Youde to determine that the tools we want/need are, in fact, working properly. 'cause if they are, we can use these to considerably cut down the validation time. and, we need to document / summarize it. procedural manual. step-by-step, how/what to validate. I want to be a liaison between the programmers/tech people, and the real world - Brad, nice meeting you. being new to the company, I I was hired for my technical skills, but I don't think I'm gonna make a dif. to IMS as a measure-builder. there is sooo much happenin'... it's good to be here, and exciting for me to think of other possibilities I might be able to be involved in. - >> Daisy, emotional intelligence --- 05:00 snooze, wait for alarm at 05:20 done, but snoozed too many times (only works for an hour) 07:20 up (yikes!) call PKP rush to 07:50 ferry damn, missed it again! 08:20 ferry --- 12:05 Excellent -- yes! Let's make a short list of what we want to say/get across to them. When is the letter of intent due to the VA? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: URS article From: Gloria Watson Date: Tue, September 18, 2012 9:37 am To: "" I think that we should contact the lady at ACP on the brochure I sent you. I think that we can also approach Urs for a commitment as well. ACP would be a source for students. G --- 8:45 Best Buy san Rafael 700 Du Bois St San Rafael, CA 94901 Tue 10:00a9:00p Wed 10:00a9:00p Thu 10:00a9:00p Get off 101 at Anderson N, before 580 Left to Du Bois --- Tom's wireless Xfinity Email / Pass tom.pps@comcast.net / 415-686-5286 --- >> Josh, how about we develop a class toward "Navigating Emotions"? --- 10:04 huge salad it's never enuf. the boys are playin' downstairs! new stuff. -- we can choose what to Picture what to look for to lean toward and away from. we could terrified, all the time. something tragic could happen, all the time. we could be maimed or killed, all the time. but we can't think about that, all the time. we got other stuff to think about. so we Choose what to focus on. the law of attraction works, if we are first attracted/ive to ourselves! I believe good things are gonna happen, 'cause I try my best to be a good guy... and so far, for the most part, it's come true... for about 50 years now. I have nothing to complain about. I love my life. and I'm satisfied where I'm at... and I still want more... much more ('cause it's more fun that way). and because I was given a gift, to share, to explore, to promote it's called EQ, and it's kinda magical. Call me self-absorbed or whatever, but I believe, from the bottom of my toes, that I was put here on this earth to spread the good word about EQ. no doubt. so, as you probably know, I'm doing my best to do just that. so, let's talk EQ, shall we? let's talk about there's a whole OTHER Side to people that they don't even know, that they're not aware of / in touch with / to access, discover, enjoy, learn from, create wisdom, self-mastery, confidence. EQ Heals! EQ can teach confidence. EQ can teach forgiveness. EQ can teach people how to heal. EQ can lessen PTSD. EQ can relax fears. EQ can reduce anger. EQ can heal sadness. EQ can depression. I realize these are super bold claims -- but they're true -- and it's all in the same area. They're all just FEELINGS and EMOTIONS... that's it, really! Teach people how to deal, how to feel, and they can heal. When they/we heal, we WANT to be a nice, kind, giving person... automatically, naturally, divinely. Humans lean toward love. Let's give them a place to lean, and show them there IS another way to live. EQRocks! --- I agree with Audrey that love starts with self. EQ teaches us how to heal pain. EQ teaches us how to love, wisely, and completely. EQ teaches us how to understand, accept and love, ourselves. EQ teaches us how to listen, to appreciate, to accept, to empathisize, to connect. EQ teaches us how to feel, how to heal, to squingeel (!?!) --- 11:18 ,ND testimonial This may have happened to you, but it doesn't have to be your reality. I learned how to work through this during a weekend workshop with New Directions. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/ - Debbie Pacheco --- 9.19 00:14 My biggest challenge right now is about focus! There are sooo many opportunities to write/teach/transform with EQ right now that I have a hard time staying focussed and finishing what I start. "Only through focus can we do world-class things, no matter how capable we are." - Bill Gates ... and thanks for sharing, Josh. Navigating Emotions is one of the trickiest skills, and the one we specialize in the most. Our solution for anxiety is to become aware of / discover / acknowledge the root beliefs / fears / meanings that create the stress, fully accept that these exist and that you feel how you feel, and then, of course, it's time to scream(!). As feelings of frustration, anger and fear build up, we gotta find creative ways to release them in safe, effective ways. Best wishes! JoshuaUnfollow What if... tomorrow you can be 25% better at any one EQ skill. Which will you choose and why? What impact would this have personally & professionally? BTW, by "EQ skill" I'm talking specifically about skills involving being intelligent with emotions -- e.g., more accurately recognizing feelings... or transforming my own emotions.... or generating emotions in myself... :) --- 06:20 up shower trash out 07:08 go (missed 2 ferries in a row... go!) --- Happiness and Kindness: The Amazing Connection A study in 2005 by Hebrew University in Israel noted that there is a link between kindness and a gene that releases dopamine -- the brain chemical that makes us feel happy. So not only does kindness make the person on the receiving end feel good, it makes the person being kind feel good too. We should strive always to speak, think, and behave with great thoughtfulness and compassion. --- 09:20 IMS Benefit Errors and Warnings xOptional Spouse Life Warning Your enrollment in this benefit plan requires proof of insurability. You will need to submit the appropriate documents to the Benefits Department. Your new coverage will not take effect until proof of insurability is received. 09:24 Open Benefit Events New Hire 08/20/2012 Submitted Welcome to the IMS Health Benefits Enrollment. The only time you may change your benefit choices outside of open enrollment is when a qualified family status change occurs (see enrollment guide for further information). --- Cassidy: Space shuttle Endeavour expected to take final flight over Silicon Valley http://www.mercurynews.com/mike-cassidy/ci_21565641/cassidy-space-shuttle-endeavour-expected-take-final-flight?source=inthenews - to All_SF_Office Hi. I just found out that the Space Shuttle will be making its farewell flight over the bay area Friday morning, about 08:30! http://www.mercurynews.com/mike-cassidy/ci_21565641/cassidy-space-shuttle-endeavour-expected-take-final-flight?source=inthenews “If all goes as planned, the Bay Area will be treated to the stunning spectacle Friday of the space shuttle Endeavour riding across the region's sky and dipping low toward the ground on the back of a 747 carrying a piece of American ingenuity into retirement. Weather permitting, it will be a morning of wide eyes and craned necks, as the 100-ton shuttle jets from Sacramento, where it will make a low pass near the Capitol; to San Francisco, where it will fly low near the Golden Gate Bridge; and on to Moffett Field, where in honor of NASA Ames, the piggybacking shuttle will make its final low pass -- at 1,500 feet or so, NASA officials say. After 8:30am, it will come in around Hayward, pass over Oakland, Richmond and Sausalito, then do a circle over the Golden Gate Bridge before continuing sound down the peninsula over San Bruno, San Mateo and Redwood City. The flight should reach Moffett Field in Mountain View sometime after 9 a.m.” Enjoy! - Matt x post to FB --- AutoFit columns works fine in Excel, not so well in Access --- >> get/bring glasses to work >> bring makeup from old briefcase --- Accenture is hiring for FI$Cal --- ,ND Testimonial Kelly Sallinen 9:36am Sep 19 This morning I feel Ecstatic. My mind has been quite still which I have not had for a long time and I don't miss the chatter in it. Life is awesome today :D --- Euc testimonial Thank you so much for my very first eucalyptus shipment. My sugar gliders love it. I went with the 1/2 lb combo pack but I was wondering if next month I can do the 2' branches. Desiree Chambers --- 1-1:40 lunch with CJ, salad bar, to Crocker Galeria roof --- 2:38 banana apple oatmeal salad (oriental salad bar straight across from office, $6.99/lb, 1.00lb, quite good) cookie (white choc. macademia, no flavor... but choc chip I had yesterday was very good!) water, water, water ------ Hi Songmi, I received your order for fresh Euc branches -- thanks! Your order should go out on Friday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 4:44 uno mas --- PP = 1722 -60 Google -130 USPS -32 MarinB + some >> run Debbie's CC for $299 --- 5:15 1/2 mas --- 5:21 Yay... thanks, Pam! Actually, I was counting on your payment so I shipped out the leaves to you on Monday. I got the biggest box I could find, and stuffed it so full that it took 2 of us to close it! So let me know how it goes. Enjoy! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Idea From: Wanema Arndt Date: Wed, September 19, 2012 5:00 pm To: Eucs Leaves are ordered and the name on it is Emory Arndt. ~Pam On 9/17/2012 5:27 AM, Eucs wrote: sounds good, Pam -- best of luck with it all. Either send a check, or go on the site and order a 1/2 lb. of leaves ($17.95) total... which will get the $$ to me (via credit card or paypal)... but I'll know that you want massive amount of leaves, instead. Sound good? Hope it goes well! Even just making oil outta the leaves might be a worthwhile endeavor. - Matt --- 5:39 to Minty and Manjiri Hello, Please see the below request for a work estimate on the Berkeley Labs project. I will be working on the "effort letters" extensively in the next week. I understand that that part of the project is due by Oct. 1. However, the ENTIRE project won't be done during Sept, so I need to know if I have room into October, or if we need to have all billing done by Sept. 30. They have allotted us 100 hours to do the work, and I believe the entire project will still be under the 100 hour cap, but not by next week. Do you want me to ask in my reply? Please advise. Thanks. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: LBL checking in From: Helen Cademartori Date: Wed, September 19, 2012 3:09 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Karen Dickinson-Mazzei Hi Matt- I wanted to check in with you and let you know that for the immediate timeframe, I am your point of contact. Karen needs to travel to be with family. Can you let me know status, if there is anything you need from us, and in particular when you think automating the "effort letters," might be ready. We would need to be updating those tables with the new salary rates going into effect Oct 1. For accounting reasons, we need your agency to send me an email estimating how many hours of effort they will bill us for Sept (hopefully close to the total 100 hours we began with). And let's set up a time to do a quick check-in by phone. Let me know what works best for you. I am available over the lunch hour tomorrow, and in the later afternoon Friday. Cheers, Helen -- Helen Cademartori --- 5:55 time to go... --- --- talked to him at Marin Brewing he had an avacodo burger with onion rings, and I just ordered what he was having... Ashley Giants winning, in fact, first 3 batters... single, single, homer... boom, 3-0, 0 outs I talked of right/left-brain, and IQ/EQ, and emotional intelligence... yes, I have heard of that, in fact. I'm a psychiatrist -- LOL! wouldn't want to do anything else Robert Fusco, MD Clinical Director at Kaiser Permanente Medical Group 901 Nevin Ave Richmond, CA 94801 (510) 307-1500 Specialties: Psychiatry - Board Certified Graduated in 1976, University At Buffalo State University Of New York School Of Medicine 1/3 of time with patients Awards and Recognitions Dr. Fusco is a HealthGrades Recognized Doctor Medical Schools: University At Buffalo State University Of New York School Of Medicine Graduated: 1976 Internship Hospital: Ej Meyer Meml Hospital Suny Buf Graduated: 1977 Residency Hospital: University Calif Graduated: 1981 http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-robert-fusco-xftr3/background-check --- 9:34 Gloria Good news! Peruse the attached. I think you'll be pleasently surprised, as I was, that we have the program/concepts written out so well already. This was written with Doc fully in mind, so we'll see how that pans out. 2GH could still contract with ACT to hire Doc by the hour... but we'll see. btw, I've convinced Doc to load TCOYL to smashwords so it can be sold as an ebook. As you prob. know, smashwords requires specialized document formatting, to automate the translation into PDF, DOC, Kindle, etc. format. Luckily, I had a PDF of the book for years (he did not), and I was able to convert it into a DOC, so it's now it's editable... but so guess who'z gonna do the edits and reformat it? sue. He said, I think there are some typos... I said, yeah, there a Lot of typos. hope she corrects things without changing the meaning or energy. call me. - Matt 916-599-8597 10+ chat re: grants >> talk again on Saturday >> 1. Grants.gov, AOR Indiv. and Organization 2. Congressionally directed medical research program CDMRP.org 3. Notified in November re: grant 4. Grants.gov is January 12.420 $20M --- pkp paula deter has about 600 plants at our house for the weekend got a tip that she would be raided --- Joan Ryan P.O. Box 8 Ross, CA 94957 joan@joanryanink.com --- “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” - Goethe --- 11:41 , order Igor Pavlenko 8318 Brewster Mill Cir Antelope, CA 95843 2L. --- 9.20 one month at IMS... wow... so fast! 05:30 up, shave, teeth, pack 06:10 Tom's up 06:16 A helpful exercise is to set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves. --- feelings are like waves... we can't stop them from coming but we can decide which ones to surf. --- 07:09 shower, pack, go --- 08:49 >> www.DynDNS.org (per CJ) remote into my PC at home! --- Checking --- 09:11 LBL Hi Helen, Thanks for the note. Happy to work with you. Karen, I hope all is well! I estimate 35 hours, in September, to finish the "effort letters". Let's talk Friday afternoon... any time... let me know what works for you. Thanks! - Matt >> Phone mtg, Friday afternoon with Helen, LBL --- >> complete Evidence of Insurability for PKP for additional $80K in life insurance 2010 IMS Optional Life EOI.pdf Return to Pawlowski, Amy (Bethlehem) --- 12:30 - 1:30 Lunch! Indian Buffet, spicy and yummy! Jim, Shruti, Luis, Youde and I missing Edie, Ken - 1:56 THANK YOU all for the nice lunch… • I feel very welcome! • Excellent restaurant choice, Shruti, thanks for arranging this! • I appreciate your special effort to join us, Naveena! • Sorry we missed you, Edie and Ken. Let’s do it again, soon! (see attached) - Matt --- I'm now on the Holiday party committee, per Kevin beg of Dec. potluck cookie exchange holiday party --- PP = 1755 +3x --- Eucs…Kimberly Sandack? 727-474-7682 Sarah Douglas wants donation for Glider Expo 315-450-3115 Do you still want to go to Andrew’s wedding on Saturday? DDB needs some help getting her new internet to connect…can you help? --- Hi Joanna, I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack-- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 4:34 go --- 9.21 01:40 LI-EIN Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What if... tomorrow you can be 25% better at any one EQ skill. Which will you choose and why? What impact would this have personally & professionally? Josh, I would choose" navigate emotions". Why Personally: Emotions are my feelings/ information as result of real time interactions with myself and the real world around me. If I can learn to harness and interpret this information with all authenticity and transparency, I will discover my search and purpose to life. Why Professionally: When I learn to 'navigate emotions" of others. I will be able to connect and value the individuals in the process of delivering my professional goals. This will make daily routines into a rich experience of recognizing mutual value and generate energy and harmony resulting in increased performance. Posted by Tim Alur - "The past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future." - Marilyn Ferguson just when it looks like life is falling apart, it may be falling together for the first time. What's the greatest success principal you've ever learned? Imagine what you could do if you werent scared. Posted by Rob Lamont --- 02:08 FB-NDG Alright, please check in and tell us how you're doing! It's important that we stay in touch. What's happenin' in your life... and if you care to share... let us know how we can support you. (I'll start) - As you know, we had class last weekend ... and I've been on Fire, ever since... writing, imagining, scheming and dreaming! Here's some of things we do different at ND: 1. We go right for the negative Feelings, in an effort to acknowledge 'em, allow 'em, respect 'em and then, best of all, release 'em. We found that we gotta feel it to heal it... and it really does improve, quite magically! 2. We do anger. No one does anger, esp. the way we do, going for good, clean, honest, non-victim, backed-up, child-centered anger and rage. Anger has such a bad reputation, people don't see/feel/understand the incredible POWER they can have by being willing and able to get good and PISSed now and then... by choice... to have our strongest emotion right there in our tool box if and when we need it. 3. We love, a lot. We accept people just the way they are. We allow people to be themselves, totally ok with us, until they can be ok with themselves. ha. --- 02:22 Doc Yay! Glad she can help... and glad your articles are taking off! EQ is a hot subject, and people wanna know what we know (finally). Is it really a 2nd "addiction" (see below)... what's your 1st addiction?!? =: ^) I think we should take some of your current articles, and combine them with step-by-step instructions on how to 'process' feelings, and make it the second book in the series, "Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions". - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: FW: smashwords account From: "Doc Downing" Date: Thu, September 13, 2012 10:27 am To: Matt, Sue said that she would get it ready for smashwords. She suggested that I make all the changes and corrections and addictions and call it a revised 2nd addiction. I’m not sure where I am going to get all the time, just another challenge. I need to also work on updating the article on Anxiety. Sue says that is a big seller and is going worldwide. Doc --- 02:37 Hey Josh, thanks for the note... I appreciate you thinking of me. Congrats on all that interest in bringing EQ to the schools! That's fantastic. Too bad it's so far away. The USA will follow soon (right?). Since I was looking for work, I found two jobs at once. One in downtown San Francisco, working for a big company, IMS Medical, that analyzes medical healthcare data - visits, diagnoses, treatments, etc - for insurance companies and medical 'payers'. (it's a 'good job', but I don't want a 'good job'... I want to teach EQ... dammit!) The other is fixing a grant funding database for Lawrence Berkeley Labs. Is there someone you'd like me to introduce you or Jay to in my company, as they already talk about EQ and emotional intelligence... maybe we can get 6sec in the door, somehow?! 2 requests: 1. I just saw that LinkedIn now shows the list of Managers of the site, and I want to be on that list. For over 2 years now, I have helped moderate the group and keep the discussions on subject and clean, yet lively and thought-provoking. I believe I have earned your trust in that area. 2. I would like to offer a class on Navigating Emotions under the 6 Seconds umbrella. I believe this is one of the trickiest, and most life-enhancing of the competencies... and it happens to be our specialty for over 25 years now. Would you consider it if I send you a textbook and proposed outline? Thanks. Rock on... - Matt --- often, when I finally decide to hit on an important email... I shrug my shoulders, thinking, "well, here goes. That's the best I've got right now / most amount of time I'm willing to spend on this, so off it goes. We'll see what happens, if anything." --- 5:55 I understand Doc... Good idea about making the ebook 2nd edition. I was just playin' with you about using the word "addictions"... it's "additions"... read it again below. :) To me, the writing is the most important thing we do. Our words are the best way we can pass the messages on to others, and they will be our legacy when we are gone... plus the few we helped personally. Is your court case done? How many days do you see clients nowadays? hang in there... gettin' old ain't for wimps! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: FW: smashwords account From: "Doc Downing" Date: Fri, September 21, 2012 5:39 pm To: Matt, She was talking about TCOYL book on line, would be 2nd addiction, the hard copy would be still be first addiction. I think I’m getting to old or else I am trying to do too much, but I love your idea about the articles. At this time I just don’t have the time to do all the wonderful things that I could do. So, unless someone else wants to step up to the plate, I’m not getting them done at least as long as I am working as many hours that I am. Doc --- LI-EIN 117 people request membership first approval, Amy Dugan, Dir of a non-profit training company - 6:28 Hot diggity -- thanks much, Josh! :) It means a lot to me that I'm finally a manager of the group. Most wouldn't care, but I'm super proud of this being the biggest EQ group in the world... with so little spam, and so much mutual respect and positive regard, and actually thinking, talking, and caring about EQ! I think we're setting a wonderful example of how EQ is supposed to work... thanks for getting it rolling correctly and yay us for keeping it safe and on task! I will look into who might be a decision-maker at my work and see about getting an appt for Jay. I'll let you know... I hear your criteria for accepting people into the group. Do you consciously limit the daily total to 30, or is it just a time constraint? I still follow an approval scheme whereby most any original post that has a link in it goes to Promotions... unless it's from you, or one of the 6 seconds ladies, or Dan. If in doubt, I let stuff run thru Promotions, but I do delete some that are way off topic, too loud, or negative (which are surprisingly few). I'm gonna like the "other posts" feature, as I've done that checking many times, but it took many more clicks. On the NE workshop -- we really need both in-person and virtual, and the best would probably be a combination of the two. We can teach the concepts virtually, but it seems like it'd be tricky to do 'emotions' over the net.... but we gotta get good at it, as I believe that's how MOST of our trainings will be done, going forward, via video and audio. We do our ND workshop over a weekend (Friday evening, Sat and Sun with a graduation Sunday night). We could stick to that format, as the intensity of time and the immersion and clarity work wonders... and Synapse would be an excellent venue! Lemme noodle on this more and we'll discuss further. How would you see it fitting in to your current offerings? yeehaa! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: checking in From: Joshua Freedman Date: Fri, September 21, 2012 9:36 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt - company - yes! If you can introduce Jay to someone there, that would be great. Whomever is the champion for creating a healthy organizational culture -- ideally very senior manager who "gets" that leadership is about creating a context for people to perform. LI manager - certainly! Done. Re accepting new people -- what I like to do is take the oldest submissions, about 30/day, and I don't accept people who are: - registered w/ a company name - have 0-1 connection unless there is some good reason to accept Also now when someone submits a post that's "total spam" you can click on the link that something like "other posts by this member" and then if they are not a real contributor (ie, no submissions, or all their submissions are actually spam) "change permissions" and select "remove, block, and delete" and they will be out of the group. NE workshop - are you thinking of something in-person or virtual? What kind of duration are you envisioning? If in-person, potentially could be something held @ Synapse to have a free space. =:-) - J . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joshua Freedman, COO Six Seconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network T: 831 763-1800 • E: josh@6seconds.org W: www.6seconds.org On Fri, Sep 21, 2012 at 2:36 AM, wrote: Hey Josh, thanks for the note... I appreciate you thinking of me. Congrats on all that interest in bringing EQ to the schools! That's fantastic. Too bad it's so far away. The USA will follow soon (right?). Since I was looking for work, I found two jobs at once. One in downtown San Francisco, working for a big company, IMS Medical, that analyzes medical healthcare data - visits, diagnoses, treatments, etc - for insurance companies and medical 'payers'. (it's a 'good job', but I don't want a 'good job'... I want to teach EQ... dammit!) The other is fixing a grant funding database for Lawrence Berkeley Labs. Is there someone you'd like me to introduce you or Jay to in my company, as they already talk about EQ and emotional intelligence... maybe we can get 6sec in the door, somehow?! 2 requests: 1. I just saw that LinkedIn now shows the list of Managers of the site, and I want to be on that list. For over 2 years now, I have helped moderate the group and keep the discussions on subject and clean, yet lively and thought-provoking. I believe I have earned your trust in that area. 2. I would like to offer a class on Navigating Emotions under the 6 Seconds umbrella. I believe this is one of the trickiest, and most life-enhancing of the competencies... and it happens to be our specialty for over 25 years now. Would you consider it if I send you a textbook and proposed outline? Thanks. Rock on... - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: checking in From: Joshua Freedman Date: Tue, August 28, 2012 10:38 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt - just thinking about you today - how is your job hunt going? I'm "feeling the burn" of having a lot to do before heading off to Asia Oct 1 -- but all is going well and it's exciting. Synapse is just starting up and we've got an AMAZING group of teachers, and we've developed some very cool new opportunities for EQ education this year -- Susan & Alex & Barb are off to the Bahamas tonight to kick off a year-long program with 9 schools... plus another project in China... plus another in India... I'm stoked. Warmly, - Josh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joshua Freedman, COO Six Seconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network T: 831 763-1800 • E: josh@6seconds.org W: www.6seconds.org --- >> walk over to Hay Group and see what's up --- 6:00 Howdy padners! (I added Alex and Ann to this message, as they have been working on getting our Facebook account in order, and all the outreach we do is interelated.) So, yeah, I totally agree with Paul! We should be doing MCN, we should be doing eblasts regularly, we need to update the website, badly, we should be tweeting and facebooking regularly (and make it more personal... not just announcements, as Facebook, especially, is about starting conversations with people), we should be blogging, we could post more videos on YouTube... there's sooo much opportunity for involvement and growth here, if we do it right. Idea: Perhaps some of us could take a particular film-related item we really like to talk about and start discussion threads on different subjects -- like trivia, or oldies, or current news/events in the film world, or superheros, or ... Let's make a plan, and a posting schedule. I'm sure Debbie already has one for her other sites. Debbie, could you provide a template or example of how to plan posts over a month or a quarter? Oh, and I decided to take the day off, Oct. 11, and join Mark at the Social Media conference in San Francisco. Let's do this. If we do it right, it shouldn't cost much in time or $$, but could return significant rewards, both tangible and intangible! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: MCN List Serv for eBlasts! From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Thu, September 20, 2012 5:12 pm To: "Marcie Schorg" , "Betsy Ford" , "Matt Perelstein" Cc: "Arlene Morehead" , "Mark Forgea" , "Debbie Holmer" Hi All, There are quite a few of us in the MCN service territory using their Listserv function. This is a grouped or massed email service that anyone can subscribe to and continually receive everything that is posted to it 24/7, by subject. It is easy to subscribe to it and it is easy to post stuff on it and there are many such subjects that many people use. It’s an old old style email tool still in use. There is an MCN listserv subject called “Movies” or similar and both Coast Cinema and Arena Theatre use this to weekly announce their films and schedules. When I have requested, we have used this a few times and Arlene has kindly posted a few of our announcements on it in past years. But we don’t have it on our radar normally except when I get conscious and specifically ask to have something posted (as far as I know). I would ask that since this is free and it’s easy to use and simple, that we make it a habit or a normal procedure to post our announcements on “Movies” in MCN listserv. It exposes us to many people that are serious enough about film to have it regularly sent to their email inbox. Could we leave this idea permanently on our “radar” please and send everything we release out on this free public announcement service? Thanks so much! PK --- 06:14 Cleanse yourself with laughter and with tears. Let tears take out all the agony that is hidden inside you, and let laughter ignite your contagious joy. Often it's our deepest pain which empowers us to grow into our highest self. - Karen Salmensohn I am in charge of how I feel and today I choose happiness! 15 things you should give up to be happy: 1. Give up your need to always be right 2. Give up your need for control 3. Give up on blame 4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk 5. Give up your limiting beliefs 6. Give up complaining 7. Give up the luxury of criticism 8. Give up your your need to impress others 9. Give up your resistance to change 10. Give up labels 11. Give up on your fears 12. Give up your excuses 13. Give up the past 14. Give up attachment 15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations - We change for two reasons... either we learn enought that we want to, or we've been hurt enough that we have to. --- 06:42 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sam-o-nellie! Miss you and hope you're well, sweet girl. I realized that I've known you MOST of your life and have wished you MANY happy birthday's before (and hope to wish you many, many more). Take care and enjoy your special day! --- Kristina Cook Kris Cook --- PP = 1630 -159 PR's new Droid Razor M phone! -60 google adwords -43 Marin Brewing --- debbie gloria and I just started working on a grant app to give our 'program' to vets... they have plenty... they need 'interventions' that work. In the app, they call what we do 'exposure therapy', going back re-feeling the original event and then changing the energy/pictures/feelings around it... esp. the powerlessness... as powerlessness leads to all kinda bad things. Anyway, they summissed that exposure therapy has made 'significant improvements' in symptoms of PTSD. do you have any experience with grants? --- 10:48 pkp I could do Sunday evening, 10/7, if you need me to... and if you could cover the last hour or so Monday morning. - me --- 11:23 sounds good... no worries. I'll get 'er done and back to you/her in a few. -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: Deed for Mathew and Paula Perelstein From: "Erv Perelstein" Date: Fri, September 21, 2012 10:46 am To: Matt, In order to complete the transfer of Orofino timeshare, you and Paula have to sign this Deed and have it notarized and return it to the sender (Amanda Wells) as soon as you can. We are in the final processing of this and we would really like to get this done and off the books. Thanks, Please let me know if you have any trouble with this. Love, Mom and Dad From: Amanda Wells [mailto:amanda@pacificpropertytransfer.com] Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2012 9:33 AM To: erv_perelstein@earthlink.net Subject: Deed for Mathew and Paula Perelstein Hello Erwin, Please find the deed we discussed attached for Mathew and Paula to sign and notarize. My direct line is (310)878-8071. Please feel free to contact me if you and Kay or Mathew and Paula should have any questions or comments. Please have them sign and notarize as soon as possible and fax it to me or email it to me so I can record the deed and send it to the resort to finalize the transfer of the timeshare. Thank you for your shared sense of urgency. Best Regards, Amanda Wells 2241 West 190th Street Suite 200A Torrance, CA 90504 P:(888)794-7612 F: (877)734-7822 Amanda@pacificpropertytransfer.com --- Sent: Friday, September 21, 2012 11:15 AM To: Gangadhar, Shruti (San Francisco) Hi Shruti, I am nearing completion of RHEUMLAB, so I will submit my test list and notes to you today for your review. I will then jump onto PRENATALHIV, so you can change the status to In Progress. Now that I've gotten thru the first one, and know where things are, I should be able to complete it by Monday or Tuesday. (oh, and I've been secretly documenting the steps and lessons you've shown us during the daily trainings, so the next people we train should be able to pick it up faster.) You were right about Youde's validation techniques being too high-level, and he has since come down to what's needed. I'd still like to spend some time with him to document 'his way', as I believe the information on how to automate the validation of measures will be invaluable to Informatics in the future. At minimum, his Code table tests are thoroughly exhaustive. As he's testing, he's still writing SQL code that could be made into stored procedures, or easily re-written into VBA, as I believe we should look at incorporating his testing concepts into Debug (and I can help with that, if necessary). - Matt ________________________________________ From: Gangadhar, Shruti (San Francisco) Sent: Friday, September 21, 2012 10:09 AM To: Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco); Sunkari, Kiran (Woodland Hills); Ailaboina, Lalini (Woodland Hills); Yu, June (Woodland Hills); Wang, Youde (San Francisco) Subject: Measure Validation Status A gentle reminder to email me the status of measures assigned to you by sometime Close Of Business today. Also, please let me know if you think you’ll be able to wrap up all the measures assigned to you by COB Wednesday so that we can let Jim know and explore the possibility of buying some time from the clients. --- I'm a MANAGER of the LI-EIN!!!(!) http://www.linkedin.com/manageGroupMembers?dispParts=&gid=75300&memberLevel=PENDING&trk=grpmgr_reqjoin http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 --- LBL/XRG Helen: charge as many hours as possible in Sept. optimistic expect to bill you $x for the period ending Sept. 30 deliverables Called Minty will let 'em know 'estimate of $$" and cc: me 75-100x --- Call now to order Exede12! 855-627-2553 up to 12Mbps down / 3 up! limiting beams 49 7.5Gb/mo 79 15Gb/mo 129 25Gb/mo 199 covers 24 mo 9.99/mo. $49.99 setup today, Joint V $59.98 + tax, a bit more the first bill same router 8-noon Friday or 1-5pm if you exceed allowance, can get 1Gb for $9.95 FAP, until next billing Viasat, free for 3 mo. paperless at time 24 months $15/mo early termination ship equip back within 30 days must have line-of-site additional install charges can't use HughesNet 30" $1200 total Order #183103806211 Exede http://www.exede.com/internet-packages-pricing/service-availability?zip=95437 --- SBJ Username: eckklx559 Password: cqmld853 Member Id: 111153367961 Membership URL: http://members.streetblowjobs.com --- Boom, I'm in. well done. looks like you guys had a great meeting, too! Some exciting stuff happenin'. I liked your idea of friends vs. members. I have some ideas about that, if you're interested. Actually, I'd like to be on your committee, if I'm not too much trouble. Whatchathink about brownpapertickets vs. printing our own? You said 1/4 were sold in person, but since we'll now have a more permanent presence, and we'll make the buying of tickets an 'event' in itself, the numbers will change a bit. Do you think BPT went well last year? Thanks, you don't make a buncha fan-fare about all the stuff you do... you just do it... beautifully. We're lucky to have you. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Friends mtg From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Fri, September 21, 2012 5:31 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, I had sent it to your gmail account. Was that wrong? Did you receive it now, included MFF at google groups. A --- IMS stand up Monday morn 11am I've been assigned two measures to validate. RHEUMLAB and PRENATALHIV The first is done, but it was my first, so I documented the heck out of what I did... and I'll be presenting that to Shruti this morning for feedback. The first always takes the longest, so I've started on my second, and I believe it will be smoother and faster. Also, since Youde got involved, he's come up with different tests that can help us automate the validation of elements and sets, so he's coding/I'm documenting this process as we go, in hopes of improving and speeding up measure validations in the future. --- FB-NDG Right on! Processing hurt, anger and sadness is so darned simple (simple, but not easy). And few know the amazing benefits of letting ourselves feel, and heal! If we're sad, we cry, and keep crying until our body's done. If we're angry, we scream, and keep screaming until our body's done. If we're afraid, we cry, and then scream, and then press on. If we're depressed, we scream, then cry, then scream some more... and we feel amazingly better! --- 9.22 FB msg w/debbie p Here is the link to the article about DNA, being changed by words. Curious what you think. http://wakeup-world.com/2011/07/12/scientist-prove-dna-can-be-reprogrammed-by-words-frequencies/ 06:18 curious! maybe it's true! Now that you've 'activated' your feelings, don't you kinda feel like a part of your brain/heart/spirit has been awakened, that you didn't know existed before? That's what I'm taking from that article, that we CAN change our lives, at a very core level, JUST by learning and practicing EQ! --- 115x new EQers want in!(!) damn. I hover over their name and it tells me about each one. then I approve 'em. starting at the bottom (oldest, waiting longest) some: Requested on 9/16/2012 (a week ago!) there have been some beauties, and a wonderful cross-section of: full-time EQ trainers grad student a CEO a consultant an author sales recruiter events and planning risk management coaches from the world over (I'd guess that >50% non-US... but speak English beautifully, or at least well.) MD Director of Nursing Performance Improvement Specialist (coach) Middleware Developer Disney voice actor Bilingual Client Representative, Canada IT Director, US Center for ..., Ghana HR, Spain HP, CA Career Services College Professor Consultant, Norway (from 9/18/2012,4 days ago) account exec, HP, SD, CA communications, toronto art psychotherapist, canada India Belgium marketing, india office mgr, bangladesh UK manager, india (86 more) Associate Director of Career Services, Post University Vietnam London Direttore Generale Iscom Emilia Romagna, Bologna Area, Italy Export Sales of aluminum pigment, China entertainment COO, Florida australia Psychotherapist in Private Practice Phoenix, Arizona Area In-House Fashion Consultant Omaha, Nebraska (where else does an in-house fashion consultant join up with a psychotherapist?) if they are a person (not a company, Josh says, haven't seen yet), and you have a picture, and you're on LinkedIn, you're probably ok to join us! --- 06:46 LI-EIN A whiteboard, some chairs, a small journal/binder, a pencil, a big pillow, tons of love and acceptance, and lots and lots of tissues. --- Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow An interpretation of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, represented as a pyramid with the more basic needs at the bottom.[30] Main article: Maslow's hierarchy of needs A visual aid Maslow created to explain his theory, which he called the Hierarchy of Needs, is a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological and physical. When a human being ascends the steps of the pyramid he reaches self-actualization. At the bottom of the pyramid are the “Basic needs or Physiological needs” of a human being: food, water, sleep and sex. The next level is “Safety Needs: Security, Order, and Stability.” These two steps are important to the physical survival of the person. Once individuals have basic nutrition, shelter and safety, they attempt to accomplish more. The third level of need is “Love and Belonging,” which are psychological needs; when individuals have taken care of themselves physically, they are ready to share themselves with others, such as with family and friends. The fourth level is achieved when individuals feel comfortable with what they have accomplished. This is the “Esteem” level, the need to be competent and recognized, such as through status and level of success. Then there is the “Cognitive” level, where individuals intellectually stimulate themselves and explore. After that is the “Aesthetic” level, which is the need for harmony, order and beauty.[31] At the top of the pyramid, “Need for Self-actualization,” occurs when individuals reach a state of harmony and understanding because they have achieved their full potential.[32] Once a person has reached the self-actualization state they focus on themselves and try to build their own image. They may look at this in terms of feelings such as self-confidence or by accomplishing a set goal.[33] B-values In studying accounts of peak experiences, Maslow identified a manner of thought he called "Being-cognition" (or "B-cognition", which is holistic and accepting, as opposed to the evaluative "Deficiency-cognition" or "D-cognition") and values he called "Being-values".[37] He listed the B-values as: - Wholeness (unity; integration; tendency to one-ness; interconnectedness; simplicity; organization; structure; dichotomy-transcendence; order); - Perfection (necessity; just-right-ness; just-so-ness; inevitability; suitability; justice; completeness; "oughtness"); - Completion (ending; finality; justice; "it's finished"; fulfillment; finis and telos; destiny; fate); - Justice (fairness; orderliness; lawfulness; "oughtness"); - Aliveness (process; non-deadness; spontaneity; self-regulation; full-functioning); - Richness (differentiation, complexity; intricacy); - Simplicity (honesty; nakedness; essentiality; abstract, essential, skeletal structure); - Beauty (rightness; form; aliveness; simplicity; richness; wholeness; perfection; completion; uniqueness; honesty); - Goodness (rightness; desirability; oughtness; justice; benevolence; honesty); - Uniqueness (idiosyncrasy; individuality; non-comparability; novelty); - Effortlessness (ease; lack of strain, striving or difficulty; grace; perfect, beautiful functioning); - Playfulness (fun; joy; amusement; gaiety; humor; exuberance; effortlessness); - Truth (honesty; reality; nakedness; simplicity; richness; oughtness; beauty; pure, clean and unadulterated; completeness; essentiality). - Self-sufficiency (autonomy; independence; not-needing-other-than-itself-in-order-to-be-itself; self-determining; environment-transcendence; separateness; living by its own laws). - Born April 1, 1908 Brooklyn, New York Died June 8, 1970 (aged 62) Menlo Park, California Nationality American Fields Psychology Institutions Cornell University Brooklyn College Brandeis University Alma mater University of Wisconsin–Madison Doctoral advisor Harry Harlow Known for Maslow's hierarchy of needs Influences Alfred Adler, Kurt Goldstein, Henry Murray Influenced Douglas McGregor, Roberto Assagioli,[1] Colin Wilson, Abbie Hoffman, Wayne Dyer --- It's NOT EQ vs. IQ! Some IQ is critical to our survival. For me, I focus on EQ because: - IQ is kinda stuck, where EQ is highly teachable and improve-able, so I want to focus on areas I can effect. - People don't seem to know much about the power of improving their EQ - EQ includes some kinda major questions like, "why am I here", and "why am I doing this" - EQ is more fun - Besides the basic needs of food, water and air, EQ is involved in all 4 of the remaining human needs (safety, love/belonging, esteem, self-actualization) --- He stressed the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to treating them as a "bag of symptoms."[3] 07:12 FB-TF&L What is one thing that you wish / they ought to have taught you, others, your children, parents :0) etc at school ? Matt Perelstein That a) these were 'just feelings' that we were experiencing, and b) how to effectively 'deal with' our feelings! (I guess that's 2, Sanjoli, but they're related, so I'm gonna take this bold action and press my limits -- lol!) --- 07:27 THIS is the face we all strive for -- excited, wonderous, spontaneous, inquisitive, safe, loved, supported, happy, ALIVE and FREE! (all of which are available via EQ, btw) --- FB-EQRocks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8mynrRd7Ak This is great! Short, 2-min video shows monkeys who get different 'pay' (cucumber or grape) for their work (handing a rock to the tester). Quiet entertaining, and shows amazing social awareness (like us humans). --- LI-EIN Management (8x): D'Souza, DBA, Granville 1st Joined on 5/03/2011 Moderator• Change Role Send Message Fariselli, Lorenzo 1st Joined on 7/16/2009 Manager• Change Role Send Message Freedman, Joshua 1st Joined on 3/20/2008 Owner Ghini, Massimiliano 2nd Joined on 5/03/2009 Manager• Change Role Send Message Golden, Alison 2nd Joined on 9/19/2012 Manager• Change Role Send Message Grant, Jay 1st Joined on 8/31/2009 Manager• Change Role Send Message Marais, Ruan 1st Joined on 1/03/2012 Manager• Change Role Send Message Perelstein, Matt YOU Joined on 6/09/2011 Manager• Change Role --- I am thrilled to announce that Josh made me a full-fledged group Manager yesterday! I've been an active Moderator for over a year, and I'm so proud to be a part of the LARGEST EQ group on the planet (as far as I know). We have an amazing cross-section of EQers... from grad students and housewives, to therapists, EQ teachers (yay!), and business professionals at all levels... engineers, managers, HR, even Sales is helped by EQ! Plus, we've got Daniel Goleman himself, Dan Pink and David Gray. I am sooo inspired know Management: 8 Members, 42,253 LinkedIn: ? Blocked: 300 Requests to Join: 69 Created: March 21, 2008 Type: Nonprofit Group Members: 42,253 Subgroups: 1 Owner: Joshua Freedman Managers: Matt Perelstein, Jay Grant, Massimiliano Ghini, Lorenzo Fariselli, Ruan Marais, Alison Golden, Website: http://www.6seconds.org http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Emotional-Intelligence-Network-75300/about?trk=anet_ug_grppro --- D-R (Gloria) Check out these Study Stats -- I believe this is EXACTLY what we need. All they did was give the test, do some training, then give the test again... and they MADE UP the very simple test! Do you think this will fly? http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/major-depressive-disorder-case-study-2 http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/ptsd-case-study-1 http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/teen-depression-case-study http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/subconscious-restructuring-intervention --- Euc Testimonials (from FB-EP) Just got our order from EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more!. Our Suggies are already loving it! Thanks So much! - Hey bud I forgot to email you and ask you to send me a jpeg of your logo for our website. It'll be a hyperlink to your website. Like · · August 26 at 7:30pm near Phoenix, AZ EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! We actually have a rotating logo... would this one work for you? Thanks! http://www.eucproducts.com/images/[gickr.com]_a29d1fc9-dcec-3994-4162-0a60c3d2591b.gif http://www.eucproducts.com/images/[gickr.com]_a29d1fc9-dcec-3994-4162-0a60c3d2591b.gif www.eucproducts.com August 26 at 7:38pm · Like · Remove Preview Az Sugar Glider Rescue Oh I like that one! I'm gonna try it. August 26 at 7:40pm via mobile · Like Az Sugar Glider Rescue I added it this morning and its working just fine. Thank you! http://www.azsugargliderrescue.com/Vendors_and_Businesses.html - Krys James DeRosa I recieved my order today and my house now smells AMAZING! Thank you. --- A crowd of troubles passed me by As I with courage waited; Said I, " Where do your troubles fly When you are thus belated?" 'We go,' they said, 'to those who mope, Who look on life dejected, Who weakly say goodbye to hope- We go where we're expected.' --- Karen and Brad's anniversary Matt Perelstein HOT DIGGITY, and Happy Anniversary to you both!! I was there... in fact, from the messed-up date, I believe I took this picture... and I am VERY happy to have know you two wonderful people for so long now! I'm proud of you for hangin' in there, and still loving each other. Have an excellent anniversary... you done good! --- 08:42 WELCOME to all the new members! Please stop by and say Hi! I am thrilled to announce that Josh made me a full-fledged Manager of the group yesterday! I've been an active Moderator for over a year, and I'm so proud to be a part of the LARGEST EQ group on the planet (as far as I know). We have an amazing cross-section of over 42,000 EQers... from grad students and housewives, to coaches, therapists, EQ teachers (yay), and business professionals at all levels... engineers, managers and senior managers (42% of the group!), HR, even Sales is helped by EQ! People here are intelligent (both IQ and EQ), and we have created a group that models high EQ behaviour... respectful, kind, accepting, willing to ask, to listen and to share. Thanks for helping spread the good word about EQ... as I believe it may very well change/save our world! Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why... linkedin.com Our group is getting so big! Exciting!! I encourage you to post a very brief intro on this thread.... --- Andrew and Aimee's wedding nice! Holes for a bit chow, M's Carol here --- 6:01 Emotional intelligence is the capacity to integrate feeling and thinking to make optimal decisions. Being "smart with feelings" is essential to effectively leading -- building engagement, navigating challenge, and accelerating change. The skills of emotional intelligence have practical application in numerous areas of organizational and professional performance. This is a group to discuss the challenges and opportunities of increasing emotional intelligence in the workplace, to share practices, and to learn together. The group is hosted by Six Seconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network, a global not-for-profit corporation that supports change agents to make a positive difference. - 75x to approve --- Josh Hi Matt - re approval - I don't have a particular reason, I just figure it's fine for people to wait a couple days after requesting to join, so I just do the most recent 30 or so, however many are more then 2-3 days old. Re NE course - "How would you see it fitting in to your current offerings?" - we don't really offer courses for general public like this, so not sure how it fits. Definitely don't want to be offering a kind of "group therapy" experience under 6s brand - that's not what we do. So for us to market, it has to focus on teaching specific tools & skills based on recent science. :) - J --- we HAVE to figure out how to do feelings at work! how? what do they Do with their feelings? what about jobs they DON't want to do? what about inconsiderate, or un-understanding bosses? what about fear, and threats, and panic, that --- LJ, please, this is important. I know it's gonna be a pain, but if you do this, it should be the last time. I shoulda thot of this months ago, when I found out you were moving, but I didn't. Once you get Caroll Ann's paperwork out, please tape up those bad boys, scribble our address on 'em and drop 'em at a Post Office. I'll pay you back immediately, or even pre-pay, if you need me to. Then, they'll be outta your hair, for good. I am still trying to make something of 2GH, so who knows, maybe someday, I'll actually succeed. When we took on the office, I guess we were signing up to take on the files, as well. I didn't want to take responsibility for them, but alas, now I must. Matt and Paula Perelstein 32501 McDonnell Lane Fort Bragg, CA 95437 Thanks. Let me know how it's going. ... and what's happenin' in your life? At some point, I had heard that Sammi was supposed to come stay with you... is that still a possibility? Are you with/near Michelle? How'z Evie's breathing? How'z you? (you look really good/pretty in your latest pics!). We had a lady from Ft. Collins in the class last weekend, Debbie, and she wants us come teach a class there, bad! Does your dad live in CO, too? That would be super cool to have you and Aubrey and Michelle back at class! btw, now that I'm thinking about you... my memory of you is that you were like one of our most avid supporters... for years! You lived it and breathed it, and had a wonderful way of teaching/explaining it that always made such perfect sense... one of our biggest challenges is to take the knowledge we have about EQ and living a super aware, ultra-responsible, feelings-centered lifestyle is being able to sum up the thoughts into very short, powerful terms/slogans/tips/signatures/lessons. Like a lapel pin or a bumper sticker... what would you want to say to the world, if you could? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: caroll ann coleman/assesment from Dr.Downing 2010 From: Caroll ann Coleman Date: Fri, September 21, 2012 7:40 pm --- I just switched yesterday, from FB being my primary focus to LI / EIN! that's major. and cool. growing up a bit, are we?!? (finally) feels good. feels right. it's not just all airy-fairy stuff to make us feel better. knowing the core feelings, how they are created, stored, accessed and implemented is super-major-huge, when it comes to understanding the whole person (like Maslow) --- 8:59 LJ, please, this is important. I know it's gonna be a pain, but if you do this, it should be the last time. I shoulda thot of this months ago, when I found out you were moving, but I didn't. Once you get Caroll Ann's paperwork out, please tape up those bad boys, scribble our address on 'em and drop 'em at a Post Office. I'll pay you back immediately, or even pre-pay, if you need me to. Then, they'll be outta your hair, for good. I am still trying to make something of 2GH, so who knows, maybe someday, I'll actually succeed. When we took on the office, I guess we were signing up to take on the files, as well. I didn't want to take responsibility for them, but alas, now I must. Matt and Paula Perelstein 32501 McDonnell Lane Fort Bragg, CA 95437 Thanks. Let me know how it's going. ... and what's happenin' in your life? At some point, I had heard that Sammi was supposed to come stay with you... is that still a possibilit (HB2 her, btw!)? Are you with/near Michelle? How'z Evie's breathing? Does your dad live in CO, too? What city are you in? How'z you? (you look really good/pretty in your latest pics!). We had a lady from Ft. Collins in the class last weekend, Debbie, and she wants us to come do an ND there, bad! That would be super cool to have you and Aubrey and Michelle back at class! btw, now that I'm thinking about you... I remember that you were like one of our most avid supporters... for years! You lived it and breathed it, and had a wonderful way of teaching/explaining it that always made such perfect sense... one of our biggest challenges is to take the knowledge we have about EQ and living a super aware, ultra-responsible, feelings-centered lifestyle is being able to sum up the thoughts into very short, powerful terms/slogans/tips/signatures/lessons. If you had to do an EQ lapel pin or a bumper sticker... what would you want to say to the world, if you could? Happiness is a Choice! Choose Love! We gotta feel it to heal it ___ ?? - Matt --- 9.23 09:04 LI-EIN Head of Cancer Registry at Tawam Hospital United Arab Emirates --- TEDxOrangeCoast - Daniel Amen - Change Your Brain, Change Your Life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLKj1puoWCg people get well in groups in families, in churches, in groups changing the world from churches up from schools up from businesses up --- Scientists Prove DNA Can Be Reprogrammed by Words and Frequencies http://wakeup-world.com/2011/07/12/scientist-prove-dna-can-be-reprogrammed-by-words-frequencies/ (from Debbie Pacheco) --- 09:45 Sounds good, Paul! We can schedule a working session on a Friday or weekend, when you're ready. Have a wonderful trip, and thanks for all you do! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Donor Tools From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Sun, September 23, 2012 9:34 am To: Cc: "Mark Forgea" Hey Matt, I agree that access to DT should be limited. So let’s do that when I get back from my week in Ashland. In the meantime can Mark then just access it at will? He needs that info along the way. Your point is a good one indeed.......editing or changes to this data base should be limited to just 3 or 4 people MAX. Viewing the data less restrictive. It’s so easy for well meaning people to screw up a data base so we’ve got to protect that data. Matt, on another note, we need to huddle with a couple of us and resurrect our cloud data archive idea for financial stuff, governance stuff, etc. Bless Michael, I complied with his idea and started upload all my stuff from 6 years (at the time) and then got busy and let it drift without keeping it current. Select people including our CPA should have immediate access to our accounting records, etc. This needs to get discussed and implemented and then made known so people are not in the dark about such issues. And I sure want to work with you to add some more organization to the folders in Google Docs. Many thanks to you and Michael for insisting on using it four our accessible data base. So we’ve got to reduce the unfamiliarity (like in me) so everyone makes frequent use of it (like you’ve been saying all along....if a tree falls in the forest...? etc etc) More when I get back. PK --- mcp testimonial WELCOME to all the new members! Please stop by and say Hi! @Matt, I trust and admire you as much as I do Joshua. I trust you will bring in your "Being human" even more then you did before. All beatiful people that I (get to) know I recommend the EQ network and the possibility to get to know more beautiful people. This releases so much good energy. Love and kind regards, Wilbert. Posted by Wilbert Louwers --- PP = 1629 -188 GoDaddy stuff. Linux, email, some domains --- 10:30 MNB and Sheila Howdy podners! So, CONGRATS again on your freedom on 9/11!! Thanks for calling, as I was 'supposed' to be joining you in that success. However, I screwed up, and failed, again. So here's my new plan... I'm gonna give it a year and try again for 9/11/2013! My new goal is to have 2GetHelp, Inc. have enough funding by 9.11.2013 that I can act as full-time Exec. Director, at >= $5k/mo. for at least a year. - I have a few grants in the works (which I may need to use your name in, MNB), and we are talking to a large construction company, who hires and mentors veterans, about funding the testing to show ND as an evidence-based intervention (sample size: 35 veterans, < $10k total). - I have a good job, and although it is far away (SF), I think I will learn a lot in this timeframe (and maybe mature a bit, along the way, too). I will also see what's it's like to introduce EQ into a business setting, which I have little experience with, but is probably the biggest opportunity for growth of the concept, as people realize how much effect EQ can have on their health, longevity and bottom line. - They gave me a sign-on bonus to entice me to jump on board (sounds cool, right?), but if I don't stay for a year, I gotta pay it back (uncool). - It will take some time to put together a program, get it funded, and ensure consistent income. So what's the plan, stan? Will you still be associated with UW (will your email address change)? I know you always have iron(s) in the fire(s), so let me know what's next! I'm excited for you, and for the world, actually, as you two make more difference, on a very real, very one-on-one AND global basis, than about anyone I know! Also, you guys need a webpage, badly. Even one page, <$100 to develop, something. I'm happy to host it for you, if you wish, or hire it done at www.Elance.com, especially now that you'll be on your own. Btw, I/we still have DoctorMichaelBrown.com, if you want it... otherwise, go to www.GoDaddy.com and find another unique name. go got 'em. Love you guys! - Matt I just noticed how you signed this note so I checked on GoDaddy and MichaelNBrownMD.com is already taken by a guy in Great Britain and DrMichaelBrown.com is from Canada... but MichaelNBrown.com IS available... Let's get it (only $8/yr)! SheilaBrown.com is taken, but not being used. Wanna get one for you, too, maybe with your middle name included? It's like owning real estate, as it's your unique address in the world. --- 10:33 FB-MCP changed my profile pic to one that Jonathan Lowe took of me teaching Optimism at 6 Sec conference. 10 likes, 2 comments, so far --- 10:45 Angie Dellard Clements (FB-msg) Hi Angie. Let's discuss your glider event on Nov. 10. What we usually do is to have you order a pound or two of Eucs (depending on the size of your event) and a) I'll package them into goodie-bag-sized helpings, and b) I'll donate some Starter packs and some big branches for you to use for door prizes or whatever. Sound good? Thanks. - Matt --- 10:58 to Aubree Hi. I was trying to sign in to the Banner Maker account to see if I could make those banners myself... did you change the password? The username is horselover888@yahoo.com... what's the password? Thanks. Hope you're ok. --- TEDxCMU -- Jacob Cass -- Building a Personal Brand Branding, Blogging and Social Media http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeHtvuTcy70 Define the brand Create website - Home - Portfolio / Case Studies - About - Testimonials - Blog Utilize networks --- ?"I define discipline as: an ability to create and enter a supportive space + a clear sense of purpose + a willingness to be uncomfortable Discipline requires courage, not the absence of fear." - Cairene MacDonald --- 12:09 NancyLevin.com Hi Nancy, Love your concepts, as I'm an avid writer/journaller myself! Hey I was wondering if you'd mind if I use your graphic as the profile pic for our love-based workshop! I love your graphic, and the self-love concept and gave you credit for the work. I'm not selling it or anything... just using it on Facebook. See http://facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop. btw, these workshops were 'born' in Boulder, CO, over 30 years ago, and we've been teaching people how to dump their backed up pain SO THAT they find self-love, ever since, with amazingly good results. Let me know if this is not ok with you and I will remove it. Thanks for your consideration and best wishes for your success in this important work -- which we call Emotional Intelligence (EQ)! - Matt --- 12:25 ,ND testimonial Splat called (R06) "you gotta know how different I am, and how I'm starting to actually love myself!" --- 2 GET HELP INCORPORATED 32501 MCDONNELL LN FORT BRAGG,CA UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 2GetHelp, Inc. is organized under the CA Nonprofit Public Benefit Corporation Law for public and charitable purposes. Federal Employer ID Number (FEIN) and 501c3 #: 26-2421584 (262421584) https://efile.boe.ca.gov/boe/boe_login.jsp SBE Resale number: SRKHO 101-112627 CA Corporation ID#: C3096713 4.25.08 old billing address: 27332 Perkins Rd., Madera, CA 93637 AT&T Msgs (559) 222-2378# 01012008# PP: paypal@2gethelp.org sd7 what's 62-01086(?) DLN: 600204017 D-U-N-S Number is 025173711 If you have any questions about your DUNS Number, please contact us at govt@dnb.com. GuideStar: http://www.guidestar.org/organizations/26-2421584/2-get-help-incorporated.aspx --- CDMRP pre-app 2gethelp / 2gh - Business 2gethelp2 / 2gh - PI(!) http://cdmrp.org/ --- 1-1:20 ND testimonial Troy Celis called (R07) to say Thank you for helping Glori. she came back sooo relaxed, and full of love. --- 1:33 Oh I LOVE you so much. So great to hear from you as we work our marathon week here in Carmel. Michael is examining a patient as I write. J Thank you so much for your loving words, they mean the world to us. You are so right about the website and the web address suggestions. We are very proud of you with your new career and even more excited for your future “new plan”. How exciting. You are THE man that is going to make this wonderful gift (EQ) happen for this wonderful world of ours. We all need this desperately!! Talk about world changers. You and Paula have made such a difference in the lives of all of us fortunate and blessed enough to have crossed your paths. We will all be eternally grateful to you both. Looking forward to a life where we can all spend some time together. Hang in there , we know better than anyone how it is to work and live in separate places, we are all paying our dues but NOT FOR LONG!!!! J Love you lots, xoxoxoxo Sheila~** MICHAEL N. BROWN, MD --- >> update LI profile pic to mcp_teachin --- Coast Tire (yesterday) 2 new tires, $115 each, on front, fronts rotated back 2 new tire rods in front, $25 ea alignment, $65 feels good 2+ move washer, as it's leaking like crazy. and the wall behind it, on the outside AND the inside, is moldy, wet and ruined. found hole in water release tube, removed it. now it's 10:30 and I'm just getting started on 22 orders! good grief. oh well. glad to go to Andrew's, and work on what Paula wanted. --- 10:33 So sorry to see you go, Tina (Riegert) ... you've been a loyal customer for over 2.5 years! Is it something I did or didn't do? Hope all is well with you and yours. Take care and thanks again. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- I didn't get much done this weekend. 3 days sitting here... what's up? busy, so what did you get done? --- 10:58 FB picture caption comment You will be surprised when you find how many choices you have, emotionally. You will be surprised at how much you can effect, and change, and release, and create, and let go of feelings and emotions inside you. You will be surprised how Good, and light, and solid you feel, after you dump some of the heavy baggage you've been carrying around for years. You will be surprised at yourself, your courage, your stamina, your personal power to face your fears, head-on, and blast right thru them. You will be surprised how much you like you. Do you like surprises? You'll love these. --- 11:42pm susan@blueavocado.org, cc: Paul and Mark. MFF Hi Susan, We would very much like to attend the San Francisco 10/11 Conference! We are: Mark Forgea / Matt Perelstein Mendocino Film Festival, Inc. 10481 Lansing Street PO Box 1843 Mendocino, CA 95460 707-937-0171 I'll get our 501c3 # for you... I just wanted to make sure we got in the queue. Thanks. - Matt Website: http://www.MendocinoFilmFestival.org Facebook: http://facebook.com/mendocinofilmfestival Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/MendoFilmFest YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/mendofilmfest 11:59 MMF --- 9.24 - 00:31 2,912x MMF sorry brian. spaced it completely. Here, try this one, as more concert records were created -- 2,912 vs. 2,709. 4839 now has 18 records. 19981 has 8. Let me know your findings. - Matt --- "Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements." - Napoleon Hill --- The Essence of Leadership http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/the-essence-of-leadership/?goback=%2Egde_75300_member_96175354 Develop a Service Attitude Service is the lifeblood of any organization. Everything flows from it, and is nourished by it. Customer service is not a department, it's an attitude. Love what you do Many things will catch your eye, but few will catch your heart. Focus on those. Focus on Priorities Focus on the critical few, not the insignificant many. Understand the soft stuff "There are two things more powerful than money and sex... recognition and praise." - Mary Kay Ash Build Your Brand In the Race for quality, there is no finish line. Embrace humor and optimism Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. - Helen Keller Commit to Excellence Excellence is not an act, it's a habit. - Aristotle Take Risks Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is. We always miss 100% of the shots we don't take. Reinfoce Core Values Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least. - Goethe Earn Trust Trust, not technology, is the issue of the decade. - Tom Peters Take Action You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. Aim for the Heart Because they don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. --- pause a bit... 02:58 Michael Toebe commented on Seeking to understand the gray area between sympathy and empathy. Please read the scenario below and share your perspectives on teaching... Dr. Hepker, I agree, empathy has a more powerful affect than sympathy, which, of course, has value (recognition) in its' own right. Empathy is connection, sympathy is not. Empathy is far more giving and humanitarian than sympathy. --- 03:20 Got Daily Press Democrat delivery for Tom for his birthday PRESSDEM/ARGUS CIRC 707-575-7500 http://subscribehome.com/pressdemocrat Not! a required field wouldn't show in IE or FireFox. call 'em. --- 03:40 go do 23 orders! 07:33 go... HH Daneen, to SR nice trip! processed her, molested at 4. to lompoc to jail 48x 11:00 at apt in SR 1st IMS Stand up call dress and go 11:33 missed Larkspur Ferry, to Sausalito 12:15 made it, nice, foreign tourists BUT, $3/hour to park(!), payable in advance (a guess!) took pics ferry slowed when passing close to Alcatraz walk subway (24-hour) 1:09 here --- 2:21 PP = -194 USPS (PKP) (new rule: 10 packages at a time, then to back of line -- uncool!) --- 5:52 out MNF! --- suasalito ferry (shoulda stayed to watch MNF somewhere for a bit... darn) Marin B. nap in car (missed game) uno cerveza (choc. blonde) and 2 small tacos (1 fish, 1 pork, Mondays's only) apt ate "A Knight's Tale" on netflix (nothing else) 11:30 snooze --- 9.25 06:30ish up get ready 07 pkp shower ferry 0710, 0750 & 0820's have been selling out, come earlier! >> leave apt by 0715! --- on ferry, in wind... can become - Aware - huh?!? - Accept - wow! - Redecide - no mas! in a few secs! (6?!) --- >> reply to Josh --- , get Unibal Vision Elite, black pens Tom had 'em! --- Giants game tomorrow? , text Tom tickets? dress warm big sweatshirt gloves (from trunk) - no, found new ones! , Reservation(s) --- >> goto Mill Valley FF? (paid by MFF) Oct. 4-14(?) --- , order Press Democrat for Tom 707-575-7500 $35.99 daily --- Payday is this Friday, 9/28 --- 1-1:30ish lunch with CJ: Subway haven't had one since.... yesterday berry white choc sample - yum got chicken FAC... good, very similar to roof over Galleria, pigeons nice out --- >> check Wellsfargo for paycheck --- >> work on LBL tonight! go to Marin B, or no? kinda got burned out on it, as of last night that might be a good thing! --- banana, walking pear 1/2 cookie 1/2 subway oatmeal --- "Attribution" is giving someone credit for their work --- I'm catching on the measure validation... finally!!! Got D of RHEUMLAB done! --- 6:20 LI-EIN posts and joins Round Table salad bar to Apt: Tom, and Bill shots got Giants tickets for tomorrow night, $51 ea. and reservations on ferry planning new room, downstairs new paint and carpet, so far has bed, shelving unit, flat screen, screen, and more --- 11:18 "A Knight's Tale" continued... in bed... --- 9.26 05:41 "A Knight's Tale" continued... while doing E's and starting LBL... Desire is a powerful force that can be used to make things happen. "Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." - Immanuel Kant You will become as small as your controlling desire; or as great as your dominant aspiration. - JAMES ALLEN Happy are those who find fault within themselves instead of finding fault with others.“ - Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wa Sallam) --- 06:26 LI-EIN Approved 18x, and a few posts Hey Mark, sounds like a good book! Usually, if there's a link in the post, anywhere, we send it to Promotions. But, if you can make the title of the post into a question for the group (not just about you or the group), it could be approved as a Discussion, instead. Ask something about conflict resolution in the title, then describe your take on it and how you know what you know, and include the link in the text. I'd be happy to approve it, and give your book a chance, but it's tricky because there are 5 of us, and there's no schedule... we just moderate posts when we have time and there are some to do. Let me know your thoughts. Best wishes with it all! - Matt On 09/25/12 7:46 PM, Mark Adams wrote: -------------------- Hello, I am a current member of the group with a simple question. I just completed my first book (346 pages) on conflict resolution which incorporates a great deal of EQ and would like to announce it to the group. I know there is an area for promotions but know most people, including myself, do not go there. I don't know if it is okay for me to start a discussion to let people know about the book and how it might be of interest to them. I know some group's administrators send out information about things like this and would appreciate any visibility you could provide me. I will have the details from Amazon soon and hope to let as many conflict/mediation professionals as possible know about it. If you could please let me know what the best course of action I should take, I would greatly appreciate it!! Thank you for any help you can provide! Mark Adams President, Achievement Edge, LLC --- 06:49 Hi Brian, a. I thought we added the NEW Donors while I was there, so there shouldn't be any effect on the Donors table. right? b. The only date in the zDonorImports file is the "Create Date" (I assume that's the day the record was entered). So there are some choices: - leave it that way - look up the actual dates of the concerts and replace the Concert Dates in the new table I sent (TicketSub-BOW-IMPORT). Filter by a specific concert, for example the concernt "bfo" is CID = 103, and replace all the dates for that concert, then filter another, do it again, and so on. - go back to the table you made for me, zDonorImport1, add a field for ConcertDate and fill it. Then send the file to me and I will re-do the import using that table, and that date. whatchathink? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Importing data into our database From: "Brian Eich" Date: Mon, September 24, 2012 11:40 am To: Matt, Thank you for checking into this. We appreciate it. The records seem to be complete now. I did notice however that the dates in the field “Concert Date” are no the concert dates. Is there an easy way that I could globally correct those dates? Also is there a way that we can add all of this information without it making duplicate entries in the donor’s file that have some of the information already in them? I am leaving the office for today, but you can copy me at home your response and then the next time that I am in I will do the steps. Brian --- 07:47 Hi Helen, I hope you were able to get the estimate info from XRG... they seem to be good guys... but let me know if there's anything else you need. So, let's get going... The most urgent task for the app is to make it able to send the Effort letters via email. a. The employee information in the system doesn't include their email address. We'll need to add a field and retain that info. There are almost 1,000 employees in the db now, so entering them by hand doesn't make sense. How about asking James or Bill if they could make you a list of Employee Numbers and Email addresses and I'll import them for you? If there is any other info on each employee (ex: Terminated, Mailstop, etc), those can be included/imported, as well. b. Can we talk sometime today or tomorrow, with the db in front of us, to help me define the flow of effort data into the emails, how/when the emails will be sent out, and email tracking? Do you have a half-hour late this morning or early afternoon? (i have a 3pm mtg today, but the rest of the day is pretty open). Should take 30min. max. Thanks! - Matt 916-599-8597 --- to work 08:20 ferry dressed warm, but late for ferry, so forgot gloves talked to L_ who works on ferry re: fishing talked to another guy about gloves stopped at shoe store asking about gloves ... and then, laying in the middle of the sidewalk, about a block from the office is a pair of gloves -- boom! --- Register and Autoload ClipperCard.com Card #1210165621 Clipper Cash $38.00 Reference Number 3812540 - MONTHLY COMMUTER BENEFITS REMINDER This email is being sent to you to confirm your order for the NOVEMBER 2012 benefit month. If you do not wish to make any changes to your order, you do not need to take any action. YOUR CURRENT / REMAINING ORDERS All orders are subject to the terms and conditions of the user agreement. ________________________________________ Order # 1: Clipper - Clipper/Translink Direct Load Processing Fee Unit Price: $1.00 Quantity: 1 Total Cost: $1.00 First Benefit Month: October 2012 Frequency: Every Month Upcoming Benefit Month: November 2012 Deadline to Change/Cancel: 01-Oct-2012 at 11:59 PM EST Important Note(s) About This Order. • Your Clipper/Translink card order will be available to download to your card by the 1st day of each benefit month. When you tag your card to the Clipper/Translink card reader, your order will download to the card. If you have an E-Cash election the amount of your fare is automatically deducted and your remaining value is displayed. ________________________________________ Order # 2: Clipper - $100 worth of E-Cash Unit Price: $100.00 Quantity: 1 Total Cost: $100.00 First Benefit Month: October 2012 Frequency: Every Month Upcoming Benefit Month: November 2012 Deadline to Change/Cancel: 01-Oct-2012 at 11:59 PM EST Important Note(s) About This Order. • Your Clipper/Translink card order will be available to download to your card by the 1st day of each benefit month. When you tag your card to the Clipper/Translink card reader, your order will download to the card. If you have an E-Cash election the amount of your fare is automatically deducted and your remaining value is displayed. ________________________________________ YOUR PROFILE Your mailing address: 32501 McDonnell Lane, Fort Bragg, CA 95437. Your phone number: (916) 599-8597. We may contact you by phone if there is an urgent issue regarding your order. TO PLACE / CHANGE / CANCEL AN ORDER OR EDIT YOUR PROFILE, LOG INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AT: http://www.wageworks.com Please do not reply to this automated email. - 09:35 Autoload of Clipper Card Confirmation This page is your receipt. Please print it and keep a copy for your records. Thank you for placing your order with Clipper Autoload will be set up on this card. Your new Autoload setup may take 3–5 days to take effect if you used a credit card or 5 to 10 business days if you used a bank account. A confirmation will be sent to you by email. Order Date: 09/26/2012 Card Serial Number: 1201656212 Reference Number: 3814652 Authorization Number: 376860 Type of Payment: Visa Credit Card Number: ************0253 Products/services: Item Autoload Value Current charge Clipper Cash Autoload $50.00 $0.00 Total current charge $0.00 - FYI: I had work take $100 out of my paycheck on the 1st of each month, pre-tax, and loading it onto my Clipper Card, to pay for the ferry. If I ride the ferry twice a day, 4x/wk, it’s about $200/mo., but I thought I’d start slower with $100 and I can increase it, if it makes sense to do so. - me --- 09:48 Walt and Frank and all: wmckeown@mcn.org, , brandismiley96@gmail.com, flurry@mcn.org, gmenken44@hotmail.com, tubbs@mcn.org, postbyjose@yahoo.com, kurttubbs@mcn.org, lisa@harvestmarket.com, rebeccalynnereynolds@yahoo.com, rowrow7@yahoo.com, sbrown@mcn.org, CA_ogar1@yahoo.com, silvercanul@hotmail.com, tomfan2lin@hotmail.com, babichmcs@comcast.net, ginnyvarnum@comcast.net, aristeve@mcn.org, dudedog@mcn.org Wish I could join you for dinner, gents! I'm working in SF now Monday-Thursday each week. Flurry even gave me a gift certificate for the restaurant for helping him work on his PC (about 2 years ago!), and I'd love to use it someday. Hopefully, we'll see ya'll back on the courts soon! If anyone wants to go to Ukiah and play on a Saturday or Sunday, let me know. - Matt 916-599-8597 btw, Neil's address is dudedog@mcn.org --- 10:01 Helen, LBL Yes, 10:15 is fine. and yes, I can make that work with the mapping file. Call me at 916-599-8597. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: LBL checking in From: Helen Cademartori Date: Wed, September 26, 2012 9:46 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Most of those 1000 are going to be old terminated; if we do a mapping with emplid and email, substituting terminated for email when that is the case, will that work? Also, how is 10:15 for a chat? Helen --- >> load Access 2010 onto IMS laptop (also) --- >> LBL: make a copy their DBs, rename, same folder, re-link, make shortcuts, test e to Helen --- Hi Lauren, I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks! I'm outta town working, so your order should go out on Friday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- lunch with CJ I paid, as he paid yesterday 360 burritos: 2 tacos, beens and rice... and another tortilla... not bad cookie, too but thick 10,000 calories/carbs, and $2.39 each, and not that sweet... ouch. cut down on the cookies, please. doing better elsewhere! --- 2:56 Yes, I can do it this weekend. I was just waiting for the copy and pics. I can certainly put a link to the trailer, if not the trailer itself, in the eblast... I'll look into this. Bring it on! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: eBlast schedule From: betsy ford Date: Wed, September 26, 2012 2:49 pm To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Marcia Schorg Hi Matt, I'm getting a bit nervous since I haven't heard any response to my emails about the eBlast schedule and how much time you have available. We need to get this out on Monday, Oct. 1st. Is that do-able for you? Plan: 1) Marcie and I have put together the copy and structure for the blast. We've collected all but one photo. I will send this under separate cover. 2) Can you put this together by Saturday? Then Sunday we can bounce it around, tweak, and finalize. Monday we press send. I also have another question for the next eBlast in late October. Can we put a trailer onto the eBlast all right? There is a trailer at the Fierce Green Fire website which would be perfect for that. Look forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks, Betsy >> eblast this weekend! --- 6pm off to Giants game!(!) vs. Arizona Diamondbacks 2nd to last home game of the season with Tom and Harleigh super nice night they won 6-0! great seats, happy, close, loving ferry home, under the bridge and into the night... much fun was had by all! --- 9.27 00:18 here, some tube, some TV --- 00:43 LI-EIN The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi All, I live in Bangalore, India. I am a HR Practitioner with 35 plus experience in Human Resource Management in manufacturing industries. Now, I am a consultant and a management trainer. I did my MA (Social Work) with specialization in Human Resource Management from Indore School of Social Work, India in the year 1974. EQ is an essential factor in dealing with employees in all individualized Human Interactions like counseling , coaching, mentoring, training, giving feedback on performance and grievance handling in industries to address work place issues. I apply EQ techniques in all human interactions. Posted by A.S. Nath --- ---------------------- mcp ---------------- EQ is an essential factor in dealing with employees in all individualized Human Interactions like counseling , coaching, mentoring, training, giving feedback on performance and grievance handling in industries to address work place issues. I apply EQ techniques in all human interactions. --- , orders ,see 2L from MA 9.24 seeds for Parry seeds and pods to Morton seeds to Kim --- ----------------- mcp ---------------- "Be true to your work, your word, and your friend." - Henry David Thoreau --- (copied from ~mcp-ToDos.txt, 3.31.2013) >> To Do file 9.27.2012+ ,7am Call James, LBL (510) 708-0554 , IMS, write to Jim re: Validations new dept. w/ Youde and Ken, I lead , orders ,try copy/paste onto labels, again -- yessir!! , load Access 2010 onto IMS laptop (also) --- , LBL: make a copy their DBs, rename, same folder, re-link, make shortcuts, test e to Helen combine 3x into 2 (POD and PAD) Effort goes into POD 1 BE, 2 FEs , Phone mtg, Friday afternoon with Helen, LBL , order Press Democrat for Tom call 707-575-7500 $35.99 daily address is not en route, will take a day or two , 24HOUR FITNESS USA, INC 800-432-6348 CA Completed Details Debit Card Signature Purchase To 24HOUR FITNESS USA,INC 800-432-6348 CA 1MC08138YM1489749 -$29.99 USD x goto Mill Valley FF? (paid by MFF) Oct. 4-14(?) , reply to Josh Navigating Emotions via webex >> send outline/list of topics , reply to Chris Moshy , update LI profile pic to mcp_teachin , ND Brochure , EQ-101.2 PPT >> D-R Update to Roger >> find % men in the big social ills suicides incarcerated addictions >> 1. Grants.gov, AOR Indiv. and Organization 2. Congressionally directed medical research program CDMRP.org 3. Notified in November re: grant 4. Grants.gov is January x complete Evidence of Insurability for PKP for additional $80K in life insurance 2010 IMS Optional Life EOI.pdf Return to Pawlowski, Amy (Bethlehem) >> PKP and RMP's SSN needed , get Orofino deed notorized Jenny @ MLCU, not 2-3pm >> www.DynDNS.org (per CJ) remote into my PC at home! , run Debbie's CC for $299 reboot to install PayPal on Outlook , get/bring glasses to work >> bring makeup from old briefcase , post in AA, GC >> get new: ,- belt ,- sunglasses ,- new mouse for old laptop ,- get a new/different keyboard or clean it better/again , LI email problem. , MFF: eblast >> bio for About Us page , MAC met with Susan, invoiced ($75) , removed show of hidden files on PC how?? "Folder Options" is in Control Panel , Cancel HughesNet, Paula needs to call $84, due 10/13 1-866-347-3292 Case #32877777 / 32877858 , $333 check to Tom --- 1:15ish to bed with "First Knight" --- 05:43 "First Knight" continued - LI-EIN Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? What an impressive range of members! I must particularly welcome Marcia ('transcend ego whilst retaining individual genius' - brilliantly put) and Jane ('nothing short of a paradigm shift ...'. That so many people are saying things like this (and presumably acting in accord with such sentiments) gives me hope for the future of humanity! Thanks Josh for enabling it all. Best wishes to you all. Keith --- 05:49 God grant us the wisdom to discover the right the will to choose it and the courage to make it endure. - King Arthur (Sean Connery) 53:00 --- LI-EIN Grant B. commented on Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? "Good Morning. I am a Rental Specialist (Sales) handling inbound queries not cold calling. EQ training has been part of our weekly routine at our company and has highlighted many thinkgs that I do know about understanding your emotional self but also many issues that I was not aware of. Handling and being aware of your own EQ is one thing but being aware of those around you does wonders for working relationships. It all boils down to being understanding and know when to be empathetic or when to put your foot down. Understanding EQ should be a priority in education - perhaps part of the school carriculum and / or part of your course at tersiary level. " I am interested in Emotional Intelligence from the perspective as to how it relates to this project. From reading Daniel Goleman's book on this subject it appears that EI is far more important to our success as both individuals and social groups than is I.Q. So, we will be conducting an in depth look at emotional intelligence and its role in wellness in our society today as we seek to create total wellness as something that is 'normal' in our society . Hello everyone, my name is Sasha, I am interested in the field of Emotional Intelligence because it is the main desired outcome for my coaching clients to achieve, either in corporate environments or in their personal life. EQ arises from learning to communicate with yourself effectively, understanding how you interact with other people, and developing sensory acuity to the ways people respond to your behaviour. Being aware of, and bringing harmony to each of these dimensions will ensure you get the following results: - know what you really want to achieve and take successful steps towards it - communicate your message honestly and speak with purpose - influence others in a positive and progressive direction - become sensitive to opportunities around you, and recognise talent in yourself and in others - learn to use your emotions and motivations in ways that serve you Handling and being aware of your own EQ is one thing but being aware of those around you does wonders for working relationships. It all boils down to being understanding and know when to be empathetic or when to put your foot down. Understanding EQ should be a priority in education - perhaps part of the school carriculum and / or part of your course at tersiary level. " - Grant Burger - Faisal Mkhize 3rd CEO at Barclays Bank Mozambique - Kayla Bittner 3rd Client Manager at Hay Group Greater Philadelphia Area --- "no matter how far you go down the wrong road, it is never too late to turn around. " "Good things in life aren't things." or "The best things in life aren't things." All empty souls tend towards extreme opinions. (!) - William Butler Yeats No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt "Life is MIND-made" - Dr. Chris Eisenbarth ------------------ mcp ---------------- We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as WE ARE! --- after reading DGoleman's book, people come away thinking that EQ > IQ... but that's not the point. The point is to Concentrate on EQ because a) it's changable, b) you have much to learn in this dept, c) it helps (a lot!), d) it's fun --- >> use the word "organic" on the site 9.27 07:12 Hello again, James, James Smithwick" I'm trying to get onto the Remote desktop, and I am embarassed to say, I seem to have mis-placed your instructions. All I have is: computername.dhcp.lbl.gov, which, of course, doesn't work very well! Please remind me of the address and password to connect, as I have gobs of work to do now. Thanks much. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 07:12 pack and go --- moved 1.1.2012 - 6.12.2012 from ~mcp.txt (from 7 -> 4Mb) to ~mcp_.txt (to 10Mb) zipped up both into ~mcp_mcp_20120927.zip --- PP = 1580 joanna kulis 130 Centre Ave #4A New Rochelle, NY 10805 --- LI-EIN (!) Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi All, I am Paul McGhee, located in Wilmington, Delaware, USA, but also doing a great deal of work now training physicians, nurses, social workers and SENIORS on the health and coping benefits of humor. After a 20 year pioneering career (starting in 1969) conducting research on humor & trying to get others to treat humor as a "serious" area of research, I've spent the last 20 focusing on important applications of humor in work settings and everyday life. The importance of humor has consistently been neglected by both researchers and practitioners in EI. So I am currently involved in an uphill struggle to make practitioners (and researchers!) in the fields of both Emotional Intelligence and Positive PSychology aware of the relevance of humor to their/your own work. There continues to be different approaches to defining & measuring EI, but the "ability to manage your own emotional state (and the emotional state of others)" is one component of EI that most of can agree on. There is an enormous body of research documenting humor's effectiveness in pulling you out of a negative state and substitutive a positive emotional state in its place. In work environments, having effective tools to manage your frame of mind are clearly essential if employees are to meet mounting job demands. A good sense of humor handles this task very nicely. I have a developed an effective humor intervention program (called "The 7 Humor Habits Program;" my website describes this program) whose effectiveness has been documented in 5 countries. I have undertaken a series of global (online) radio broadcasts to help people improve their sense of humor and am currently engaged in a multifaceted approach to bringing more humor into the lives of seniors to promote positive aging. My approach is to show Senior Living Communities (and church groups and social groups meeting in coffee shops) how to use this self-guided Humor Training PRogram to first boost basic humor skills, and then use those humor skills to cope with daily stress. So since I know this is a new idea for most of you, I invite you to think about just how the active use of good humor skills might fit into your own EI work. Posted by Paul McGhee, PhD --- 11:29 Yes, you're in time... thanks for the input. One of the requirements on my list is to re-work the db such that new Quarters are not so difficult to add. I'm embarrassed to say that I seem to have mis-placed the login info to your Remote Desktop so when I went to upload the employees this morning, I got no where. I wrote a note to Jim, asking for a reminder, and I'm awaiting his reply. I'll get on both the employee data and the file cloning tomorrow morning. - Matt --- Hi Kevin, Yes, I did receive your email with a request for saplings or seeds. No sapplings, sorry... they don't transplant well. Happy to send you some seeds, tho. Enjoy your Eucs and good luck planting new ones! - Matt --- Will do, Richard! Thanks so much, again. - Matt --- I'm at a client site today, James, so I'll call in the morning. ok? Thanks much. - Matt >> (510) 708-0554 --- 4:33 out 10:50 in (home) straight to office --- 11:09 Deleted ALL pics of my phone 1039x, 7.5Gb K:\500\MyPics\MyVideos\20120927-ALLPhone_1k\ "about 1 hour remaining"(!) 11:14 Bud found me... very excited! --- >> list todos! --- PP = 1506 -33 gas Cotati Golf Road Chevron (where road stops) -40 gas Ukiah AM/PM on Talmage -8 GoDaddy -4 Golden Gate Ferry (4 reservations) -25 AT&T park (Sean's hat) -13 Marin Brewing (cerveza and 2 tacos - MNF) 11:46 printed and noted Orders in 10 min! get each order in it's own tab copy and paste name/address into GoLabels.doc Change font and print write in their order preference, including subs done! Nice(!) orders per day, last 1 week 1 4 3 3 2 4 3 --- 20x --- When we begin to deal with parents that are aging, it can be a good time to examine your life together and familial past. --- 9.28, Friday 00:00 here getting ready for the weekend... busy! Me on LinkedIn (455 connections, 502 followers(!): http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein People You're Following (455) Your Followers (502) Discussions You’re Following (211) 22 Requests to Join >> do requests first, so they can see new posts being approved! 37 discussions to approve Managers are under Manage, Participants - EQ plays such a vital role in our personal and professional lives. - Rod Hazzard "Everything is a gift of the universe - even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, and separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment." - Ken Keyes, Jr. --- 00:31 FB-MCP AT&T Park pic Guess where I am!! Heck yeah -- GREAT Game (they won 6-0), went with really fun, loving people on a beautiful, cloudless, warm night with a full moon! Rode the ferry home, in the fog-covered blackness of night... soo cool... got back about 1am. Excellent evening, all around! 23 / 5x --- LI-EIN My IQ said I am lacking in the area of EQ I find that without EQ, well IQ often is not maximized and monetized. Una Murray BSc. • Hi All, I am enjoying the discussion very much. I am Una, a single mother of 1 and career woman/ entrepeneur. I have been a HR Manger for several years. I haven't always been able to help people the way I wanted to so I now specialise in Coaching and Mediation. I see so much unnecessary conflict in the work place and in families it breaks my heart. I love nothing better that to watch a huge weight lift from someones shoulder as the conflict ends or to watch a clients face as they start to realise that there is light where it was once very dull. Conflict can be avoided if we can learn to manage ourselves and our emotions. Unfortunatel conflict so often arises from flaming emotional communication or no communicaiton at all. I would love to see EQ focused on as much IQ in the education of children and youg adults. Afterall, studies have shown high EQ to be something that successful people have in common. - Paul McGhee, PhD • Hi All, I am Paul McGhee, located in Wilmington, Delaware, USA, but also doing a great deal of work now training physicians, nurses, social workers and SENIORS on the health and coping benefits of humor. After a 20 year pioneering career (starting in 1969) conducting research on humor & trying to get others to treat humor as a "serious" area of research, I've spent the last 20 focusing on important applications of humor in work settings and everyday life. The importance of humor has consistently been neglected by both researchers and practitioners in EI. So I am currently involved in an uphill struggle to make practitioners (and researchers!) in the fields of both Emotional Intelligence and Positive PSychology aware of the relevance of humor to their/your own work. There continues to be different approaches to defining & measuring EI, but the "ability to manage your own emotional state (and the emotional state of others)" is one component of EI that most of can agree on. There is an enormous body of research documenting humor's effectiveness in pulling you out of a negative state and substitutive a positive emotional state in its place. In work environments, having effective tools to manage your frame of mind are clearly essential if employees are to meet mounting job demands. A good sense of humor handles this task very nicely. I have a developed an effective humor intervention program (called "The 7 Humor Habits Program;" my website describes this program) whose effectiveness has been documented in 5 countries. I have undertaken a series of global (online) radio broadcasts to help people improve their sense of humor and am currently engaged in a multifaceted approach to bringing more humor into the lives of seniors to promote positive aging. My approach is to show Senior Living Communities (and church groups and social groups meeting in coffee shops) how to use this self-guided Humor Training PRogram to first boost basic humor skills, and then use those humor skills to cope with daily stress. So since I know this is a new idea for most of you, I invite you to think about just how the active use of good humor skills might fit into your own EI work. - Shelby Vaughn, J.D. • Hi. I am Shelby Vaughn, a career coach in West Bloomfield, MI. If you look at my LinkedIn headline you will see that I am a "caring and compassionate career coach". For me, the question should never be, "how smart are you?" but rather "how are you smart?". I love the fact that I have a very strong EQ. It makes me uniquely me! It enables me to connect with people on a very deep level, helping them to make the changes they want to make in their careers. - Rula Barghouty • Hi all I am Rula and I live in Chicago, USA. I see opportunity to use EQ in every aspect in life and I want to learn and share through this group. - Melanie Moder • My name is Melanie i live and work in the Los Angeles area in the field of Aerial and underground utility installation. I have worked here for 10 years and love my job. I am very interested in EQ because it provides me a way of connecting with our customers not only on a professional level but a spiritual one also. I have found that when i am vulnerable with our customers that we connect better in our professional element. This smooths the way for payment and contract negotiations. - Kendra Clark • My name is Kendra and I am a full time college student. I'm on my way to ending my first year for business administration. I thought that this group could help me not only in my studies but in my future endeavors as well. - Rev. John Giunta, MA • Hello, I am a yoga/meditation teacher and professional musician playing the classical guitar, flute and several other instruments. Human nature fascinates me to no end, especially regarding people's misunderstandings of each other's emotions. I look forward to reading your various experiences. - New connection: Ron Hazzard Hey Rod... THANKS for the connect. I save cool quotes about EQ, and I saved yours... "EQ plays such a vital role in our personal and professional lives. " Excellent. So, good luck with EQ! It's like magic in how many ways it can effect our lives... and it's totally, 100%, completely FREE, natural, organic, powerful, and fun! - Matt --- Euc Testimonial Hi Matt, Thank you so much for the branches, they are perfect! My vet was so impressed I passed along your info for referral! Hopefully we can get the rest of Buffalo, NY hooked on your beautiful Euc just like I am. Thanks again, Erin Ellis --- "Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."--Talmud --- 08:05 Howdy Susan, Can we do get together either Saturday or Sunday morning? I now work outta town (in SF) Mon-Thurs's. - Matt (I like your quote at the end... except that I DO feel obligated to complete the work!) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Mendocino Art Center database From: Susan Kelley Date: Thu, September 27, 2012 12:32 pm To: Matt Perelstein Do you have any time for the MAC database between now and Oct 5. I'm filling in for Marja while she is on vacation. There are a few things Lindsay would like fixed. Let me know. I can work around your schedule. Thanks Matt. Hope things are well. Susan Kelley 21761 John Hyman Rd. Fort Bragg, CA 95437 707-972-2237 skelley@sierraemail.com --- 08:08 Hi Joanna, I received a call and email (below) about your Euc order. Apparently, your old address was still in PayPal, so your Euc order is at your old apartment. Please go pick it up, and let me (and Richard, who was very kind), know. Thanks. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: We spoke on the phone From: Richard John Date: Thu, September 27, 2012 1:26 pm To: eucs@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, My name is Richard John and we spoke earlier I think about the package sent to 130 Centre Ave, Apt 4A, New Rochelle, NY 10805. Just to clear this up, I am the new tenant in the apartment. She used to live here. I spoke to the super and she told me that she called the person and left a message, and that she will let me know when she does. I will give you an update when that happens. If you can send her an email advising her that the package is with the super, please do. Thanking you, Richard John --- 09:03 LI-EIN Wanna STOP receiving so many emails from LinkedIn? (please don't leave the group, the world needs EQers... just change your settings... here's how...) LinkedIn automatically sets you to Follow any discussion you comment on, but you can uncheck "Send me an email for each new comment" when you first post, or you can Unfollow the thread later. To change your email settings in LinkedIn, you have choices (just like with EQ!): a) Find the link at the bottom-right of a LinkedIn email message that says, "Stop Following Discussion". b) Mouse over your name in the upper right corner of this page, choose Settings then go to the Email Preferences tab and choose "Set the frequency of emails" or "Set the frequency of group digest emails" c) Click on More in the menu (above) and choose Your Activity, go to that discussion thread and click Unfollow. Enjoy the group (I surely do)! p.s. - If you find yourself blaming and angry at us and/or LinkedIn, please stay, as you need EQ the most Stopping or Changing Email Notifications: http://www.linkedin.com/news?viewArticle=&articleID=5566345085357928450&gid=75300&type=member&item=169844112&articleURL=http%3A%2F%2Fhelp%2Elinkedin%2Ecom%2Fapp%2Fanswers%2Fglobal%2Fid%2F67%2Fft%2Feng&urlhash=LO59&goback=%2Egde_75300_member_169844112 --- LI Member since: July 12, 2004 --- Letting go of discouragement is no more difficult than holding on to it. And letting go is so much more empowering. - Ralph Marston --- mcp testimonial WELCOME to all the new members! Please stop by and say Hi! Matt- Congratulations.I agree with all that's been said. You have boundless energy and have contributed greatly to this group. It's true, most of us have no idea of the kind of behind the scenes work that is involved in monitoring a highly respected group such as this. Keep up the fight! Posted by Dr. Susan Stillman --- Quality Inn & Suites Attn: Karen Milas 160 Simuel Rd Spartanburg, SC 29303 "You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind." - Mahatma Gandhi “Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” - Warren Buffet When you determine what you want, you have made the most important decision in your life. You have to know what you want in order to attain it. - Douglas Lurtan ---------------- mcp --------------- Good things come to those who wait. Great things come to those that get out there and make it happen! There are three kinds of people in the world ; those who watch things happen, those who make things happen and those who wonder what happened. Pick who you want to be!! --- 3:08 Matt Perelstein wrote: Our members are getting bombarded with emails all of a sudden, starting last week. They claim that they Uncheck the follow this thread box, and/or edit their email settings, but no change. HELP, we're losing members fast! What can we do?!? On 9/28/12 4:42 PM, Matt Perelstein added the following clarification: It's a Closed group. Nothing has changed from our side! On 9/28/12 10:03 PM, Matt Perelstein added the following clarification: It seems to be coming from just 1 thread (which has 4,902 comments in it) and folks are saying they're receiving these emails even after they LEAVE THE GROUP completely! Not good. LinkedIn Tech Support ticket The ticket reference number for your question is: #120928-005725 You've successfully submitted your question, and we'll send you a confirmation email soon. Go to your Support History page to check out your ticket. --- 3:21 Start Oct. 1 $35.99 ordered Press Democrat for Tom call 707-575-7500 $35.99 daily address is not en route, will take a day or two confirmation: Employee Kerr #58 --- 3:26 Paid Verizon $184.08 DU Conf #502645 --- 24hour fitness, back to $9.95 'til April 4:30 to Tracy's bank to get Deed signed/notarized found out that we're Giving away Orofino... not getting it. hmmm... Safeway, banking Piaci's for dinner salad, pizza, KiltLifter, nice(!) 10:30 home, to BED! --- 9.29 Saturday 07: up (full night's sleep) shave, here 07:45 LI-EIN email issue continues, no Help from LI getting more posts these days! thanks for Josh - Introduce yourself to the group -- who are you, where are you, why are you interested in EQ? Hi Everybody I am from Mauritius working in Dubai. I stronly believe that EI capitalise on ME. Who is the person inside me, what are my strength, weaknesses. What are my limitation. It;s just a journey of discovery about oneself. If any program or coaching is being done in Dubai please contact me, I need a mentor. Posted by Muthy Zaahirah Zabeen I have been fascinated by EQ ever since I started reading about it and understanding the importance of it. A deeper understanding of EQ has helped me to deal well with many conflict situations and help people overcome emotional issues. It's amazing what an impact a little understanding of EQ can have on our day-to-day undertakings... I have written about EQ when I was writing a column in a Sri Lankan business magazine, but realise that their is also a definite disregard (and sometimes opposition) for the concept among many people in authority. Posted by Thilal Nanayakkara I remember the moment when my emotions met my mind. It was a management development course some 30 years ago which was pioneering in the sense that it used FIRO (Fundamental Interpersonal Relationship Orientation) a concept first promoted by Will Schutz (Stanford University California). Based on the principle that you cant manage people well unless you can manage yourself well, you cannot manage yourself well unless you know yourself. We all think we do but do we really? It was based on The Truth Option - the reality that we are all the result of all the decisions we take consciously or consciously. Well the self awareness of myself and others created an understanding for me that enabled me to incorporate the resultant behaviours into my life.The reason I am still here now and enjoyed the past 30 years in true 'present' . This early experience of EQ, or in my case my ability to express it, helped me realise my own worth and value, the understanding of others as individuals and real people. Enabling me to understand and sometime tolerate negative behaviours. Wow what a gift! I am so pleased this group is linking me with such amazing people who are helping others in either education or business to understand this fundamental gift that brings with it true enjoyment and fulfilment of life. Posted by Sandra Nundy ---------------- mcp ------------ "The path to success should be lined with your colleagues, not paved with them" "Tolerance is given, Respect is earned" Dave Posted by Dave Byers Inspiring someone is awakening a viewpoint which realises that something that seemed impossible can actually be done. Harry Palmer - author of the Avatar Course Posted by Lisa Perkins "We can buy a clock but not time" Alex Rukundo, a strategic communications specialist and avid people watcher. I strongly believe being part of this network enhances my skills and ability to deliver insightful communication, I get to interact with specialists or like-minded people and finally am able to look at how emotional intelligence as a "science" is evolving or growing. So far, what I have been exposed to, what I have learnt and what the network has shown me could never have been done in a university course or learning environment; you all should be proud! Posted by Alex Rukundo Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein Love is a better teacher than duty. - Albert Einstein Follow your heart but take your brain with you ;) --- Installed Access 2010 and Publisher on IMS laptop and others on first use --- 09:03 MFF, Betsy, Marcia Hi. So what's the subject line of the email? I'd be happy to train someone on the next one, and I'm happy to be a reviewer, but I don't really want to do these anymore, from scratch, if possible. Can we ask around to see if we can find someone else, please? It's not difficult, just takes awhile, especially with 8 emails (so far) for one issue. Looks good, tho. - Matt --- Entire Intro thread is gone Yikes! Write to tech support --- 10:30 - noon MAC walk around Mendo Mendosa's for carob peanut cliffs gas station blackberries Dick's eucs Walt home for lunch 4:13 LI-EIN Susan McNeal Velasquez commented on I'm looking for the business application of EI. In the late 60's, the Human Potential Movement surfaced and became visible through seminars marketed to the general public. Before that time,in general, if you wanted to increase your self-knowledge, that was done either through religion or therapy. In order to take the therapeutic route, you had to identify a problem and seek help from an expert. The intent of the the Human Potential Movement was to provide arenas for 'good people to become excellent.' No matter what your personal opinion regarding the massive general public trainings of that time, the outreach affected millions of people and eventually, many of the concepts and practices filtered into business (ex: Mission statements and a push for greater commitment and involvement within the business climate). These movements originally emphasized getting in touch with feelings and getting out of your head. Unfortunately, emotions started to be glorified and thinking/analyzing denigrated as inferior. All these years later, the emphasis has naturally evolved to the marriage of the intellect and the emotions in service to deeper intentions that manifest in increased discernment in decision-making. It is an art not a science though there are excellent frameworks that provide guidelines for best-practices for creating a climate that is conducive to collaboration. Just a small 'blast from the past' to hopefully, give a glimpse into the organic roots of our society moving towards an awareness that we each have a physical body, mental body, emotional body and spiritual body and the job is to integrate the complex energies that animate each of our lives. hidelisa D. commented on How does someone with a high EQ view failure? How do you respond to opposition that comes between you and your goals? Viewing failure positively is one that possesses high EQ.Failure should be viewed as pushing for more effort to come out correctly the next time around,to exert more focus and concentration on certain things,improving more on your special skills and dissecting lessons learned from failures.Perseverance and Consistency are two main factors in achieving your goals no matter how many times you failed. hidelisa D. commented on Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? As a teamleader in our company, EI give a strong impact on making Good Decisions. Basing on your past personal experiences, empathy,recent observations on situations and good state of mind, you will eventually come out into a favorable decision for everyone in the group. --- 4:22 Status: Open Ticket: 120929-002181 Created: 09/29/2012 18:22 Updated: 09/29/2012 18:22 In our group, The Emotional Intelligence Network https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN an entire main discussion thread just disappeared or was accidently deleted (with almost 5,000 posts in it)!!! How can we get it back?? PLEASE HELP, this is Very important! Here's the Link to the missing thread: http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=75300&item=ANET%3AS%3A41879670&trk=NUS_RITM-title --- Sharon Davis got me another radio interview, Oct. 15, 9am! No idea who/station! She's ED of the Jere Melo Foundation! they sold out Cotton last night for Otsuchi! -- (!) "Folder Options" is in Control Panel pizza and chicken wings ($5 Friday) really good, for 5 bucks! "Hugo" - so-so, for how much was spent, and the people involved. espn "Desperato", part "Holes"(!), simple, yet extremely well done! slept on coach, with the dogs and a cat --- 9.30 05-07 "August Rush" simple, yet extremely well done, again! list to sound track now... LI-EIN discussion is still gone and cs still hasn't replied support history: http://help.linkedin.com/app/account/history 3 questions, no replies (from LI) actually they did... said they received my email... about 10 hours after I sent it. hmmm... --- PP = 1660 +some orders, not a lot >> LBL eblast orders 16 so far, plus goodie bags new washer hose, install --- euc testimonials My little guys loved the sample pack I got awhile back. As the leaves dried, I put them in different toys and the linnies loved nibbling on them! I want to get various sized branches, with leaves next. Oh and anyone with rats or chins, they love the little sticks that come with the sample pack! - Tiki on AA The trial package arrived today. I picked it up and had to stay at work for 2 more hours. I couldn't believe, when I walked to my car- so nice aroma! Lucky chew the stick and I hang already fresh leaves in the aviary with toys. We love it! You have me as returning customer for sure! Eucalyptus is healthy for us too. Pictures and more when I have opportunity - Margaret on AA --- 08:59 Melinda Janicki (supposedly working on EQRocks.com, 2 weeks later than promised) Hi. --- 09:18 FB-NDG letting go is sooo much easier after we allow ourselves the tears or sadness. To me, letting myself know/accept/express my feelings is really about self-respect and self-care. When I'm taking care 'o me, I feel way more (and I like that). --- >> Get Windows 7 Pro, $89.95 auto backup is in all versions... look into it! Wendy? Control Panel -> System 4Gb RAM AMD Athlon II X2 2.80 Ghz Processor 64- bit operating system Model: HP a4327c HP CS: 800-474-6836 (1-800-HP-INVENT) --- euc hunting lunch 9ers are kickin' butt, 17-0 over Jets take washer hose back off, pkp goes to get a longer one --- 12:22 On Gmail Yay... good job, Arlene-ski! I stopped by the office yesterday and suggest a few things (which I'm sure you've already thot of)... The phone number should be available outside The brochure rack just inside the door, should be outside the door, in a waterproof rack How about our schedule of events (which is getting impressive, I'm happy to say) All the nail holes on the outside door and walls should be filled. I'd be happy to spackle 'em in, if someone would contact the landlord and see if we could have a small can of the original paint. Can we put more posters up... like a movie poster, or two... coming soon? (what are the rules in downtown Mendo) ... etc. The office is now our permanent face in Mendo, so let's set it up, even unmanned, so that it is a resource for all things MFF. Other thoughts? - Matt On Sep 29, 2012 9:49 AM, "Arlene Moorehead" wrote: Hi All, We are moving right along on setting up the WT. Desks are arranged and thanks to Randy's help both computers are up and running and the desks arranged for most efficient operations. We should have internet access on Tuesday after AT&T and Paul work it out. Cheers, A --- LI-EIN 6 newbies Ellie Donnelly commented on With the dawn of the ‘third wave’ of psychology, science returns to the search for the 'soul'. So what has made the discipline so... Why dichotomize at all? I agree with Einstein; “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” I’m personally saddened that I spent so many of my years, believing the absence of god would set me free. Isaac Asimov proposed that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. What is fact and what is true are often poor bedfellows; we need to remain present to the abstract nature of perception, and not get trapped in semantics that carry us away from the very core of our experience. 12:39 mcp @SusanStillman, THANKS -- you're too kind! @Hidelisa, I very much agree with you. I have NEVER seen a group that has more thoughtful information, fueled by years of conscious wisdom, for such an urgent, vital subject, from the brightest members on the planet (and with the least junk), ever! --- 12:40 Rebooting... --- orders Bronco's kicked the Raiders' butt! 10-6 at half, won 37-6, yay. --- 6:12 LI-EIN msg Safae Naim That's a tough one, Safae,but also a heckuva good question! It seems to me that both sides need to add some IQ to their EQ. There is very little logic in their habitual thoughts... it's almost pure emotion, and it's out of control... and they allow it to continue, unabated. The level of hatred and disgust that they both carry is unacceptable to me. So, it seems it needs to start with some common sense and logic. There has to be a willingness to stop... and it can be decided in a moment. What are your thoughts? Thanks. I'll think more on this... important subject, as I believe, as I think you are suggesting, that EQ actually COULD stop wars! - Matt --- dinner "The Rum Diaries", Johnny Depp. He did great, not sure why he took the part. so-so movie football pack stickers and enjoys on starters and shoe boxes (50x) snooze --- 10.1 Monday We're insured!!!(!) yay, I feel like 'made it' --- 04:20 up load fire MFF Another version of eblast, getting close LBL employee update some orders - everything is perfect Right Here, Right Now, and Right Here Right Now is all there is. You’ll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind. (Irish proverb) --- Glen Carter, 5L (bananas), is back! --- 07:03, go! 10:26 SR apt unpack a bit, a few emails, change and go 11:00 IMS Stand-up mtg (by phone) 11:10 ferry Beautiful out (85 degrees)! --- >> tonight LBL call Gloria MNF? eblast tweaks --- 5:55 go slight headache and oh, so tired (dozed 20+x today) --- Mike at Marin B choc. blonde + 3 MNF tacos ($2.50 ea), yum. MNF, cowboys got creamed. SF vs. LAD --- 9:20 Hi Miwako, thanks so much for your response! I'm kinda freaking out here because I'm afraid that, as a Manager of the group, I was the one who accidently deleted our biggest, most important discussion thread! There are almost 5,000 thoughtful, revealing, powerful posts there, and I'm so hoping that you can restore it. Yes, there were issues with the emails, too, and thanks if you got that fixed, but even more important is to get that deleted thread restored. Here's the link to the missing thread... as you'll see, it says, "This discussion is no longer available." http://www.linkedin.com/groupItem?view=&gid=75300&item=ANET%3AS%3A41879670&trk=NUS_RITM-title Can you make it available again, please, please?? Thanks much. - Matt - Hi Matt, Thanks for reaching out to me and I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. It seems like the problem has now been fixed. If you’re still having troubles, please send me a screen shot of the issue and I’ll look into it right away. Here’s how you can do that: https://help.linkedin.com/app/answers/global/id/223/ft/eng. Warm regards, Miwako Customer Experience Advocate --- 9:31 MNB Yo Michael, Good to hear from you. Glad you're moving forward with a website... with all the cool stuff you're always involved with, it should be interesting! I have DoctorMichaelBrown.com for you, and I suggest you get MichaelNBrown.com, as well, and use both as forwards to your 'real' site... it's just handy sometimes to have aliases. I'd be happy to register it for you... it's only $8 for me (frequent buyer, I have over 100 URLs), $11 for you at GoDaddy.com. I'm sending this to your aol account again... maybe it will magically work now... let me know if you get it. Otherwise, Sheila, if you would be so kind as to forward this to MNB, I'd appreciate it. I couldn't send to any comcast emails for a long time, and then one day, poof, they all worked again. Who know what goes on between hear and there. Best wishes to you both, - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: DR. BROWN'S SEPTEMBER 2012 CARMEL and FRESNO OFFICE SCHEDULEs From: "Sheila Brown" Date: Mon, October 01, 2012 2:15 pm To: Matt, MichaelNBrown, MD.com is me : ))) The individual in England is the guide it's helping me with my website. He registered the name for me. I am trying to get up on the web sometime in the next 2 weeks and put her website out. I will let you know when it is up and running. The plans are very complicated at this point. Although being away from the University has given me a lot of freed him I am going to be working like crazy over the next 12 months. Of course, like I usually do. I am 10 years behind with lots of catching up to do. I have also not been working full-time for 10 years and therefore I have a lot to due to catch up financially as well. Thank you for thinking of me with her website information. I am not sure whether I will need to register those names or not. It may be a good idea what do you think? I will no longer be using the e-mail address at the university. I need to figure out how to unblock you from my AOL account. I do not know how to block anyone and I do not know how to unblock anyone. I can't figure out how you got blocked to begin with. I do not even know how to use this stupid e-mail obviously. --- Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere else. - Albert Einstein --- An Interesting POV ! A master who was visiting the river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. Smiling, he turned to his disciples and asked, ‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’ The disciples thought for a while, and then one of them said, ‘Because when we lose our calm, we shout.’ ‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,’ asked the saint. The disciples gave more answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained: ‘When two people are angry at each other, the distance between their hearts is larger. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’ The master continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally,a lovely old couple-they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all that is needed to convey. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’ He looked at his disciples and said, ‘So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance you from each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not be able to find the path to return.’ --- LI-EIN 34 submissions 21 joins Shari Goodwin DOG Validates Authenticity! I was coaching an executive client the other day to help her prepare to interview for a CEO position. We were at her home & she said her dog doesn't like strangers. He was hiding in another room. We began our session and worked to develop clear, confident and compelling responses to tough lines of inquiry. After a bit of struggle, she found her authentic voice. At that moment, her dog entered the room, put his head on her lap and wagged his tail. Then, he came over to me, touched my knee and looked me straight in the eye. Then he left. From my work with horses, I knew this was profound acknowledgement of her alignment; the congruence between her thoughts, words, and actions. Animals are drawn to balanced energy. When we are balanced, we are powerful and our words resonate. Horses and dogs give us valueable feedback on our emotional state. I use this modality frequently in my work with business leaders. How have animals reflected your emotional state? "If opportunity does'nt knock, build a door." --- Tom home, new DW drum kit (beautiful!) 11ish crash --- 10.2 07:15 up (SHIT!) can't find toothbrush late sent eblast to 2,200 lbl, changed from POD to PAD, but couldn't modify forms shave in car missed ferry(s) took bus not good stood up, slower, but dropped about a block away (Bush and Pine) BAD NEWS! Introduce Yourself thread 'unfortunately' cannot be restored. big tears and anger (on the bus) MFF lots of kudos on eblast --- 10:55 , orders 3 new subs within a half-hour(!)... but 2 are the same guy! 2 - 2's 4-2'x1" 1/2 seeds to Dianna, Melissa Mike, double-leaves branches for arrangement (no pay, yet) Judith Jenks 2340 Hwy 180 East #151 Silver City, NM 88061 - Hi Ben, According to the USPS, Priority Mail is 2-3 business days. In the future, your orders will come thru on the 2nd each month, and I'll ship asap after that. Feel free to change the mixture of your order anytime. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt --- >> MNB's birthday? --- Lunch with CJ and Josh (K-Force) EPIC: super-powerful, and in-demand Healthcare database $100/hr+ --- >> load music onto IMS laptop! only have Chicago that CJ gave me, and it's not very good --- >> get earbuds from home, for phone/laptop --- when I'm watching the time (every afternoon) I've been calculating on 5:45, but it's more like 6:00 so calc on that, instead... worse news... but more realistic ... another vital item... the "original" oatmeal ain't very good, no sugar so, prob. better for me... but it's yucky! Maple and Brown Sugar is the best Cinnamon and Spics is the 2nd worst --- ferries in a.m. 07:10 07:50 <-- default 08:20 <-- if miss this one, a whole hour before the next one 09:15 --- 5:50 it's BEAUTIFUL Outside! 85 degrees... super nice! out bandcamp tonight! ... and not much I gotta do! pretty out off 10 min. early feeling rebellious had a black-n-tan then a piece a pizza. scoot to ferry so pretty out, with sunsetting, and warm lots o' people out back Marin B. darts guys: Erin and Chris, bought him a choc/blonde then eric and tim, the wasted atty. out to car to get (new) notepad for a cool thot. then back to darts with, but Marc, maintenance supervisor great talk, have some notes re: his success then Bryant, Union Bank, SR who was a down, grumpy stoner 'til August, when he went on a 6-day backpacking trip which changed/saved his life! he decided he COULD do it, didn't talk to or tell anyone about it. came back and changed his friends, his habits and his life both Marc and Bryant signed my book. 9:?? to apt bandcamp just starting with Tom's new drums!! 10:04 got a $90 order and 2 new subs today(!) and my 2 5? customers are in today 17+ lbs, so far, this weekend , send pic to PKP of her and the PS girls to iron on a present for Carol >> Beg for the return of the LI-EIN post Write about missing post, start a new one, explain efforts - Bobby also sings for Lion I'z, another band in Ventura album coming soon! --- 10-11 LBl --- ----------- mcp ------------- From Awful to AweFull! (!) lol awful: - dreadful - terrible - appalling - unpleasant - poor - horrible - horrific - shocking - dire - bad (lol) AweFull: - wonder - admiration - respect - amazement - surprise - astonishment - reverence - esteem - vereration - worship (antonyms) - fear(!) - terror - dread - fright - trepidation - fearfulness --- 10.3 0:00 shruti said they were assigning me the HEDIS measures that just came in. 13x, I believe. I think me and Youde and Ken and Amber should be the validation team me and Ken fulltime, Youde and Amber part time start creating the tests as we go. prove that the measure creation matches the specs is there a sub-process whereby please, no offense to Shruti, you guys are doing your very best, with the resources you had. This stuff is sooo complicated, and I am extremely impressed with your knowledge, and skill, and deep, deep understanding of how measures work (and more importantly) how they should work. I don't want to be a butt here. Please, my intention is NOT to cause problems, rock the boat or otherwise be disruptive. I just saw what Shruti went thru to get these measures validated, how IMPORTANT this is, and brain-iac over here develops code to PROVE that what is, is what is supposed to be, without a shadow of a doubt! here's how I see it. we get a piece of paper, a spec, from HEDIS or wherever, right? that's it. we gotta take it from there. from STD - Design HSD - Development HSM - Run SQL/Debug/Excel - Validate so, how do we make this process work better? the specs are often complicated but it's still a finite set of combinations, and we should be able to follow along each step to ensure correctnicity. >> talk to a real QA person I think we should do more cross-training, so we can help each other. or at least understand what each other are up to. we're a feet apart, fgs. --- 'educational' i= awareness + iID + skill --- Our unique program combines exposure therapy, imagery therapy and emotional processing to produce impactful, lasting results for participants. We start with the popular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which teaches the left-brain to manage our thoughts, beliefs and actions; and add right-brain treatment techniques and processes to PTSD, a right-brain dysfunction working with sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings, that create fear and anxiety in PTSD-sufferers. Our unique program combines exposure therapy, imagery therapy and emotional processing to produce impactful, lasting results for participants. Our unique program is both educational and therapeutic, combining exposure therapy, imagery therapy and emotional processing to produce impactful, lasting results for participants. We start with the popular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a left-brain CBT, the most popular, fastest, and lowest cost form of treatment is left-brain-centered CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. The theory here is that our thoughts create our experiences, so change your thoughts and that changes our feelings. Which works, usually. The critical missing piece is that PTSD is centered around pictures, sounds, smells and feelings that were traumatically thrust into the brain, and they require right-brain focussed intervention to resolve. Cognitive Affective Behavioral Therapy (CABT) combines exposure therapy, imagery therapy and emotional processing to produce impactful, lasting results for sufferers of PTSD, anxiety, depression and other right-brain dysfunctions. - Proposal to CalVet 2GetHelp.org, a non-profit 501C3 organization, works with people, including Veterans, that suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and other forms of emotional dysfunction. We have been working successfully with veterans and civilians to reduce or eliminate the results of exposure to traumatic events that result in PTSD, anxiety disorders and depression among other emotional illness. We have been holding workshops for over 25 years and have found success in helping Veterans that suffer from the symptoms of PTSD. Using combined novel therapies, we offer safety, hope and trust to people that have, many times, lost all hope for recovery. Our unique program combines exposure therapy, imagery therapy and emotional processing to produce impactful, lasting results for participants. We start with the popular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which teaches the left-brain to manage our thoughts, beliefs and actions; and add right-brain treatment techniques and processes to PTSD, a right-brain dysfunction working with sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings, that create fear and anxiety in PTSD-sufferers. We have many testimonials with veterans and civilians offering feedback on their personal experience. You can find these testimonials at: In order to offer our program to veterans in a friendly and secure setting we are asking for your assistance. We would like to have the use of the Veterans Home located in Fresno, CA to hold our classes. We are planning to use the classes to collect empirical data that we will use to obtain DoD and VA funding so that we can continue our work. We would also ask for referrals from your organization, should you find that someone is in need of our class. To hold a class, we would need the following; 1. Use of a large room approximately 20 ft. by 50 ft. that will accommodate a group of up to fifty people, including our instructors and assistants. 2. Use of restroom facilities for both sexes. 3. Use of an area where we can fill water pitcher, make coffee and put snacks or supplies that need refrigeration for the period of our classes. 4. Facility access for classes would be necessary from 6 p.m. on Friday evening through 9 p.m. on Sunday evening on the weekend of classes. It is our intention to provide ongoing support for this group by maintaining a presence on a regular basis to promote brotherhood and maintain openness to both giving and receiving help. To do this, we would need to be able to have an office or small room to use for gathering. Even a break room would work for this purpose. We have veterans that are graduates of our course who stand ready to assist their brothers. Many of us are family members of veterans from Korea and Vietnam right up to the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have the heart to carry on and support our veterans. We hope you will consider our request to help so that we can grow our community of support for veterans suffering from PTSD. Sincerely, Matt Perelstein Executive Director --- 01:21 these are the words, the words are on a button the button is on a form the button, when pressed, runs code, the code opens a form that asks how you'd like to customize your report the form runs a report which is run by queries which are based on tables which store the data. and then the printer gets involved. it's a team effort. everybody does their part and everybody gets along. - I think we're getting ready now. The biggest thing that happened with the old Obama campaign, tho we were all very disappointed, but the key to that was not the disappointment, and oh, the govt sucks and they're all liers... no. the biggest part of that was the "we" part we got together for the World Cup we got together for American idol we started getting together back in the 60's, when I was born. we got together, against the war, but pro-love. I think that's the only time I've ever heard of people taking to the streets to shout LOVE, PEACE, HAPPINESS. I like it. let's do it again. maybe if we shout now, it'll be INSTEAD of going to war. --- Our ancestors represent another wellspring from which we may draw for they, too, can act as our spirit guides. --- 01:33 Hi. We're still talking at 10:45, right? I did some more research, and I have some questions that we can discuss on our call. If you could be in front of the app while we talk, I'll try to do the same. - What's the "actual" difference between different FYs? What if you could set it when the applications opens, so that the user is just looking at FY12 data, or FY11, or any FY? - If the data could be filtered by date, "between 10/1/2012 and 09/31/2013", is there a reason that the data needs to be physically separated by year? If not, I suggest that we combine it all into one table... and use Access's filtering capabilities to separate the years... so you won't have to do the annual FY dance, any more. - Right nw, FY11 is throughout: effecting many tables, queries, reports, forms, macros and code These all should read "FY12", correct? Thanks. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 01:34 copy, and to bed (coach) boys played 'til 00:30, but they sounded flat, and tired. Tom brought it up. Bobby is beat. moved my car don't park on the end, anymore. --- pause --- 06:43 "Be gentle first with yourself - if you wish to be gentle with others." - Lama Yeshe Our ancestors represent another wellspring from which we may draw for they, too, can act as our spirit guides. Debra S. commented onWhat are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? " Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ... " Debra S. commented onWhat are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? " Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ... " Debra S. commented onWhat are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? " Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ... " Lisa Howe commented onEmotional awareness "In this age of quick fix and instant gratification, medications such as Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, and Xanax, just to name a few, play a huge role in "drugging" emotions, such as depression and anxiety, often prescribed by a family doctor without follow up from a psychologist/psychiatrist. My question is whether there is a direct correlation between these drugs being a solution above emotional awareness and emotional intelligence. In essence, are we using prescription medication to treat the symptoms instead of addressing the issue at the root? If so, is it really necessary? Have we decided to gloss over our emotions rather than deal with them? " Lisa Howe commented onEmotional awareness "Rod, I could not agree with you more. Many times, we are emotionally unavailable and have become so desensitized to our own emotions that we don't have a substantial/qualitative offering when it comes to friendships. The "it's all about me" mentality has overtaken us as a culture to a degree. I want my life to be filled with emotionally present moments that enable me to harness the greatness of the human spirit and share it with others. I look at the relationships my mother has maintained throughout the years and I ask myself why I don't have the same type of relationships. I think the answer has already been discussed in your post, Rod. " --- Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are(!) http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/major-depressive-disorder-case-study-2 You CAN fake it 'til you make it! Our minds change our bodies, AND our bodies change our minds. Powerful vs. Powerless assertive, optimistic, think more abstractly think they're gonna win, even in games of chance adopt for high-power poses vs. low-power poses --- 06:53 PP = 1953 (goin' for $2k again!) -29 refund to glider event --- 07:30 Hi Miwako, I'm sooo sad about the unfortunate news about the discussion!!! (I actually cried yesterday when I read your email). Please, would you escalate this request to your supervisor -- I'm a database programmer and LinkedIn is a big database of discussions and posts. I know that this discussion CAN be replaced, by going back a week or so in the archives. Please ask for me. This sounds kinda dramatic, but you must understand the nature of this group and discussion. We're 42,000 professionals discussing a life-changing (maybe world-changing) concept called Emotional Intelligence (we call it EQ). There is no group of EQers in the world as large as this LinkedIn group! And the thread that was deleted was almost 5,000 posts where members would describe and share their work in EQ, and how it has changed their company, school, family and life! PLEASE escalate this, Miwako. The discussion can be replaced, if you guys are willing... please ask. Thanks so much. This really is important! - Matt --- 5 Ways to Lead with Emotional Intelligence -- and Boost Productivity http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2012/09/24/5-ways-to-lead-with-emotional-intelligence-and-boost-productivity/ 6 Ways to Help With Peer Problems http://momshomeroom.msn.com/parenting-articles/social_issues/6-ways-to-help-with-peer-problems/253933980?wt.mc_id=msn Activity: Tween-Repulsing Exercises http://momshomeroom.msn.com/kids-educational-activities/getting_involved/activity--tween-repulsing-exercises/253918400?wt.mc_id=msn --- 07:30 shower and go... 08:20 ferry again, sooo beautifully warm out! yay, I'm being rewarded! Folks are complaining about it being too hot, in SF and the valley... but it's wonderful for me! --- Blue Angels should be practicing overhead today --- LBL, helen, gail, mary Account Infor populate Oct/Nov/Dec 2012 with Jul/Aug/Sept 2012 update all 11's to 12's make sure the Oct report runs correctly (should show Jul 2012 data, for now) Due tomorrow! noon mtg, if nec. --- 11:26 MFf G'day gents! I guess we missed the free signup period, Paul, do you still think it's a good idea that we go? Mark, did you still want to go to this workshop? I can get the day off and meet you there. Thanks. - Matt --- >> time to get a new thumb drive. Payson is getting tired, and often doesn't work --- this is some typing, to make some noise, and to keep myself semi-awake! --- euc testmonial Matt. Just got my eucalyptus. Thank you. My gliders acted rabid they loved them so much. I will definitely order more soon. - Anita --- 2:26 SF Social media scholarship app, per Paul http://socialmedia4nonprofits.org/sf/sfscholar/ How can a better understanding of technology, and social media in particular, help you better serve the community? * Hi. The MFF has been providing film programming to the north coast of CA for 8 years now. Since these screenings are a social event, social media is critical as a marketing tool, an information resource, and a fun way to connect on all things about film. We have a Facebook page (>1000 likes), Twitter, and youTube, and we could use all three more efficively and consistently. Ok, I submitted an application for their scholarship. Here's their automated response. Application Thanks for submitting your application for scholarship. The scholarships winners are announced on October 8th and preference is given to small nonprofits with budgets (as reported on 990) under $500,000.00 The scholarships are intended to enable nonprofits who otherwise couldn't afford to attend. You must be an employee of a nonprofit with 501c3 and consultants and volunteers are not eligible for the scholarship. --- PDFs (Adobe Reader) now has screen (block) capture capability under Edit -> "Take a Snapshot" or just click on page, and it copies the entire page... very nice(!) --- 7-8 it was warm this morning, but it dropped 21 degrees during the day, fog rolled in and brrr... sat in ferry parking lot in my car and wrote, as it was nice and warm and peaceful 8-9 talked to Debbie Pacheco re: her stay, her feelings, and her plans/intentions on helping me do EQ full-time. --- 10.4 10:04 (on 10.04!) IMS: first STD done on ABA sent to Priya in Czeck to validate --- Hi Arlene, You can either forward your original, or send this link to her, and she can read it online. Worst case, I could resend the email from verticalresponse directly to her. http://hosted-p0.vresp.com/575144/1fb6f4accb/ARCHIVE Right now, I'm available either day, so let me know how/when I can help. toodles. - Matt --- 11:20 met with Amber not encouraging --- 1:30 Lunch with CJ pizza, to Galeria roof saw Blue Angels fly over(!) --- 2pm Hi Shruti, I have a class I’d like to go to next Thursday, 10/11. So, if it’s ok with you, we have 3 choices: • Take PTO (Daisy said I now have enough hours) • Use my floating holiday or personal day (which she said I have been eligible for upon hire) • Make up the hours WFH over the weekend. What is your preference? Thanks! - Matt --- 3:50 here goes... so-so. we'll build up reusable code blocks as we go. at least I won't stress about it anymore! drivin' bandcamp! checked internet on laptop... nope. dinner with Tom Mark, Mike, Tim, and of course, Bobby! great guys! >> CD to KOZT! --- 10.05 00:28 home bud and bella to say Hi! --- 00:51 LI-EIN --- 01:05 Hey Shawna, sorry 'bout that... it sure sounds like you're following the rules... please try again. Our normal process is that if there's a link in a new discussion, linkedin givs the button/suggestion to move it to Promotions... and we usually do. Do people actually read your Promotions in this group? There are so many... but there are some REALLY good ones, too! I've been outta town all week working in SF, but I'm home for the weekend, and will doing most o the moderating. Try in either Discussions or Promotions. And i you want, send me a quick note before/when you post so I can be on the lookout or it. Ok, sorry or the hassle. I love this group! - Matt On 10/04/12 8:23 PM, Shawna Garcia www.EmpoweredMommas.com wrote: -------------------- Hi Matt, I posted a promotion yesterday and it seemed like it automatically got deleted. I've ready the group rules and believe I am following them but if I am not I want to know and I will adjust as I need to. Please let me in on what is going on with my promotion posts. I'm not sure if the same thing happens if I post to a discussion, I did not try that yesterday. Thank you, Shawna Garcia 801-631-8171 --- pause... F's not working again. pooF. cleaned it, no di... not working AT ALL. >> ind another keyboard, please, even tho it may be a plug in type 04: back on LBL got a challenging prob 2010 has new stuFF: - submacros - iF, as a macro command - SetLocalVar(!) Nice! - SetTempVar - EmailDataObject <--------- - WordMailMerge --- Hi Mary, The only way I can see to get that entire 12-month view to fit on one page is to redo it into a report, rather than trying to print the form (which is unusual). Unfortunately, when the form prints, the header "Employee Effort Navigation" pushes the rest of the data to the right, and off the page. I messed with the form for quite a while, and I can get those heading words to not print, but I couldn't get rid of that big margin on the left. Rather than trying to print the form, I could create a report that its on one page, and include a button on the form to preview the report. Is that what you want me to do? When trying to print the form, all the dropdowns at the bottom do the same thing as the "Find Bdgt"... no data. I could also fix this problem by switching to a report. It'll take about an hour, shall I proceed? - Matt --- 05:46 LI-EIN This is an amazing group, with amazing people, discussing an amazing subject. Please say hello, and let us know what you know, or want to know, about EQ. Thanks for sharing in the discovery and advocacy of this world-changing subject! --- 43 peeps, 42 posts - 05:54 Ellie Donnelly commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? I'd Pick More Daisies Don Herold (from 1953) "Of course, you can't unfry an egg, but there is no law against thinking about it. If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes. I would relax. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things that I would take seriously. I would be less hygienic. I would go more places. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less bran. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary troubles. You see, I have been one of those fellows who live prudently and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I have had my moments. But if I had it to do over again, I would have more of them - a lot more. I never go anywhere without a thermometer, a gargle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had it to do over, I would travel lighter. It may be too late to unteach an old dog old tricks, but perhaps a word from the unwise may be of benefit to a coming generation. I may help them to fall into some of the pitfalls I have avoided. If I had my life to live over, I would pay less attention to people who teach tension. In a world of specialization we naturally have a superabundance of individuals who cry at us to be serious about their individual specialty. They tell us we must learn Latin or History; otherwise we will be disgraced and ruined and flunked and failed. After a dozen or so of these protagonists have worked on a young mind, they are apt to leave it in hard knots for life. I wish they had sold me Latin and History as a lark. I would seek out more teachers who inspire relaxation and fun. I had a few of them, fortunately, and I figure it was they who kept me from going entirely to the dogs. From them I learned how to gather what few scraggly daisies I have gathered along life's cindery pathway." If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted a little earlier in the spring and stay that way a little later in the fall. I would play hooky more. I would shoot more paper wads at my teachers. I would have more dogs. I would keep later hours. I'd have more sweethearts. I would fish more. I would go to more circuses. I would go to more dances. I would ride on more merry-go-rounds. I would be carefree as long as I could, or at least until I got some care - instead of having my cares in advance. More errors are made solemnly than in fun. The rubs of family life come in moments of intense seriousness rather than in moments of light-heartedness. If nations - to magnify my point - declared international carnivals instead of international war, how much better that would be! G. K. Chesterton once said, "A characteristic of the great saints is their power of levity. Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. One 'settles down' into a sort of selfish seriousness; but one has to rise to a gay self-forgetfulness. A man falls into a 'brown study'; he reaches up at a blue sky." In a world in which practically everybody else seems to be consecrated to the gravity of the situation, I would rise to glorify the levity of the situation. For I agree with Will Durant that "gaiety is wiser than wisdom." I doubt, however, that I'll do much damage with my creed. The opposition is too strong. There are too many serious people trying to get everybody else to be too darned serious. - Ten years of continuous war, characterized by multiple deployments, elusive guerilla adversaries, and occupied populations seemingly more tilted toward resentment than gratitude - "Teach me to feel another's woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me." - Ellie Donnelly, CBT, Indonesia ------------------- mcp ---------------- “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo F. Buscaglia - 06:14 B-NDG You're doing great, Erika! I love all the honest, totally responsible, self-exploration -- esp. when it starts 'working' right away! You've got super-high EQ! We vent, we release some negatives, that opens us to positives, the positives come, BAM, lie works, and we feel better. I had that experience the other day... I got some bad news which made me cry (on a bus crossing the Golden Gate bridge, 'cause I had missed my ferry... but wherever)... I let it low and let it go, 'accepting' what is, exactly as it is... and as soon as I got to work, I got 3 good news's in 5 minutes. Hang in there sweetie, we can certainly all relate to feelings of rejection and abandonment. --- "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." - Lou Holtz - Peter Gruben commented on If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Sorry, I think there is not one word that can describe Emotional Intelligence. EI is a mixture of self-awareness (that is about our emotions), empathy (about the emotions of others) and the ability to read, understand and manage (influence positively) our and others emotions to build sustainable business relationships. There are many ways to respond to for example anger or frustration which in turn will increase the willingness to work together or increase apprehensions. That is why this is also described as the driver of the ‘secret economy’ and the key to motivating people. - Michael Nicholas commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? My favourite statement on humility, from one of the greatest geniuses, Albert Einstein: ----------------- mcp ----------------- "My religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that in comparison with it all the systematic thinking of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection. This feeling is the guiding principle of my life and work." - Albert Einstein - Lisa Howe commented on DOG Validates Authenticity! I believe that animals can sense authenticity as they can only go by body language, tone and vibrations (mental) that we exhibit. I have a Tennesee Walking horse who, at times, behaves rather badly. I noticed that his behavior is directly connected to my state of mind; if I am having an off day, he can sense it and responds accordingly by showing agitation and displeasure. In retrospect, I realize that my energy affects much more than me, personally. This has helped me realign my emotional balance by self checking and harnessing my emotions and no doubt, has kept me safe when riding! - Hidelisa dela Victoria commented on Emotional awareness In the medical world,medication can therapeutically alleviate the pain!But into what extent?In treating a disease one must identify the symptoms.Following the diagnosis comes the prognosis.In correlation with the Corporate world people with high EI has the ability to recognize emotions,understand and realize how emotions affect people around them.Sensitivity to the emotional needs of others helps and allows you to manage relationships more effectively.Live a less stress life! Develop EI in one's self!! - "Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." - William Arthur Ward Lisa Howe commented on Those who lack EQ tend to look at negative circumstances through the "victim" lens and want sympathy, while people with a higher EQ will... Sue, I do not think that you are terrible. I think that your behavior is more common than you realize. Many people have a difficult time dealing with conflict/negative situations, but that does not make them wrong or terrible people. Conflict is not pleasant, yet the power of your thoughts hold less power than your spoken words. For example, imagine that I ask you to begin counting the numbers 1 through 10 in your mind. Begin counting....Say my name (speak aloud). What happened? Your thoughts immediately stopped when you spoke aloud. In the same way, positive spoken words have power over negative thoughts in the mind. I agree with Rod, sometimes it is best to remove yourself physically, in order to gain control of your thoughts. But, avoidance will not handle the situation. And, sometimes, yes, you might make a mistake...but instead of thinking about it in this way, think about what you learned as a result and then, build on that. - Lisa Howe commented on Emotional awareness You are exactly right Victoria. I have been researching all the above mentioned methods to reframe, but the main thing for others to remember is that without application, methods are futile. The adage of loving yourself before you can love others is the truth, as well as understanding your own emotions--- both must be incorporated for true balance and the ability to help others. Willow-Marie P. commented on Seeking to understand the gray area between sympathy and empathy. Please read the scenario below and share your perspectives on teaching... I think sympathy is a deep understanding of someone else's feelings, while empathy is experiencing those feelings yourself. - Daniel Goleman Three Obamas: The One We Elected, The One We Got, The One We Want October 04, 2012 Here's a reprint of a HuffPost article I wrote last year about different leadership styles. Seems pertinent again after last night's debates. There's the inspiring leader who articulated a shared vision, speaking from the heart to the heart. That Obama moved millions to elect him. Then there was the Obama who sought consensus, giving up too much to appease his opponents. That Obama disappointed millions. Finally, there was the bold and confident Obama who faced down his opponents in his commanding address to Congress on jobs. All three of these Obamas are familiar to me; each represents one of six styles that exemplify the leaders who get the best results, whether in business or politics. And President Obama's performance offers crucial lessons to anyone who holds a leadership position, whether on a team or in an executive suite. High-performing leaders, those in the top 10 percent in business results, are adept at switching among the six styles, selecting the one that best suits the needs of a moment as they would pick the right golf club for a given challenge. But low-performing leaders tend to get stuck in just one or two styles, which can backfire when they are not up to the need at hand. President Obama had been stuck in a rut of consensus-seeking even when that style has failed spectacularly. The commanding presence we saw address Congress on jobs was the style he's needed -- and which had gone missing -- throughout the economic crisis, and especially during the debt ceiling debacle. Here's why. In a crisis -- when people are fearful about uncertainty -- they look to their leader for reassurance, just as a child looks to her parents when she feels danger. Followers need a leader who stays calm and takes command during an emergency; it relieves their fears. Think FDR's presidential inaugural address during the Depression, with his famous line, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." That's not to say the commanding style suits every occasion. In fact, research finds that this style too often gets used in the wrong situation, in the form of petty office tyrants who alienate their subordinates. Then it drives climate and performance off a cliff. Each of the six styles has its best uses. The visionary style inspires and motivates performance. Consensus-seeking does well when a decision includes diverse stakeholders. And the commanding style suits an emergency. The other three styles: the affiliate leader, who creates harmony and connection in a group; the pacesetter, who guides by example a highly motivated and talented team; and the coach, who helps people develop their strengths. The trick is to apply as appropriate -- and not when they don't work. Let's hope Obama gives us the president we need. --- 06:44 Sugarglider.com Yo Terry -- thanks for the note -- great ideas! However, I have been unable to pull them off. I just CLOSED my ebay store, because I didn't know how to promote it properly and it cost me more than it made for over 2 years. :( So, do YOU want to do it?? I'd be happy to give you a nice % commission on anything/everything you sell!! Ebay, yahoo, your own site, promote in glider groups, write to zoos, have contests, do social media... whatever... there are tons of choices and opportunities... I just don't have time! I have 4 businesses. The Eucs are selling wquite ell, without me having to do much at all (occasional posts on GliderCentral, and AvianAvenue, $60/mo for Google AdWords, but that's about it). MOST people still don't have a clue about how awesome Eucs are/can be, so I KNOW there is huge untapped potential out there. Plus Christmas is coming and Eucs are one of the most requested gifts! Wanna play? - Matt 916-599-8597 if you wanna chat... any time p.s. - Hey, I see I am listed right under Diet Supplies on your Vendor page -- Thanks! May I suggest you change the link wording to "fresh cut Eucalyptus" or "Gliders Love Eucalyptus" or the like? Good stuff! -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Your products From: Terry Date: Thu, October 04, 2012 9:51 pm To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Hey Matt. I have been feverishly working to monetize my website with sugar glider related products and I thought of your company when I was linking eucalyptus from Ebay. I was wondering if you'd care to try listing your products on Ebay. Of course nobody is listing Euc with animals in mind, ie: "sugar glider eucalyptus leaves" ... You might find an angle there with various sizes and bundles for various animals. At any rate, I recommend that you keep the words cut eucalyptus leaves in all of the titles but you can add to that to customize listings. Let me know if you need any advice. I have a general search listed here and it isnt returning much for now. http://www.sugarglider.com/suggested.asp#eucalyptus I also have a couple ad spots rotating through various product listings including euc stuff from ebay listings. I'm curious too if you have considered Amazon? Are you guys making other euc products like the soaps, lotions, oils, ....? Terry Sugarglider.com euc testimonial / link http://www.sugarglider.com/gliderpedia/index.asp?Vendors --- >> Matt D. Melinda Doc Paul Chris M --- Ok, PAD is ready for you to get on. As for the non-Terminated Employees, we have the same problem. Once you filter it by anything, no data comes out. Twenceforth, I will make the report able to filter by Terminated or not, as well, when you're ready. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Enhancements to PAD From: Mary Tydingco Date: Fri, October 05, 2012 7:44 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Gail Mosley Morning, Hang on to this fix for now. I now you have a list of requests from Karen and Helen to work on for now. I do have a request on the current reports. I includes terminated personnel. Can the report not include "terminated" staff? BTW- It appears that we are locked out of PAD. Thanks, Mary --- We are too blessed to be stressed! --- mcp testimonial Josh is playing for sure! So sorry I didn't call back. I forgot.....I was so tired last night that I didn't remember tell I went to lay down in bed. Ugh!!! Thank you for whatever you got. You are so good to us! We love you and see you tonight. - Tracy Kay, via B msg --- 9:30am Sat Harleigh Hi Matt - Where do the weeks go!!! GO GO GO!! Yes it is too bad you won't be able to attend tonight. Boo! Have a great weekend! Thanks... I was REALLY torn... in fact, I was gonna drive home, pick up Paula and the dogs and take the motorhome down for the weekend. But some other homey stuff came up, and I just wanted to be home... I was sad that didn't work out. Rock on, tonight!! You'll be their #1 groupie! --- Tracy kay Yay, and double yay! It's just some paper plates, not too sexy (as I ended up RUNning throughout Costco, in my socks!). See you in a few hours! Are there other 'events' going on tonight? Oh sweet! we needed paper plates badly! Thanks --- VR Postcards --- Hi Gang, Thanks for entertaining our ideas yesterday. I appreciate everyone's input on this important task. The conclusion of the meeting was to "slowly move in the direction" of automation... which makes sense... yet I'm not sure that's the best plan. I realize now that completely automating validations is probably unreasonable, at least in our lifetime, but I feel even stronger about how the automation of SOME of the events, especially the checking of Code tables, could help with ANY and every validation. If we can come up with a bulletproof means of 100% checking code tables, or both inclusion and exclusion, on almost any measure, I'm quite sure that would save AT LEAST an hour on each validation, and in many cases could save 1/4 to 1/2 of the processing time required (especially on measures with 50+ Code tables!). So, here's what I propose... Let's take what Youde and Amber have already designed, transform it into more generalized, repeatable stored procs, and then add it as an additional tab on our powerful Debug tool. I have coded in Access a time or two, Youde and Amber are SQL experts and understand measures and validations well, and together, I think we can make this happen. Ken's been working hard on getting the app perfect, and I can tell you that I've been using it for almost a month now, so has Youde, and it works REALLY well! With Ken's guidance, I could seamlessly "integrate" the new code table validation functionality into the existing Debug forms; same variables, naming conventions, code functions, fonts, the works. Jim and Shruti, I'd like your permission/blessing to proceed with this project. I'd like to schedule an hour meeting when I get back on Monday with Amber, Ken, Youde and myself to come up with the best 'process' we can for automating, documenting and validating code tables, and present it to you (or, of course, you're welcome to join us, too!). The tool already selects and loads the measure, beautifully. So, then what if we could read the names of the code tables DIRECTLY from the specs that we receive (OCR via PDF) and COMPLETELY automate the task? My goal is to be able to list, validate and document every code table in (almost) any measure with one click. Browse to document, , Done. I think we can do it... without too much trouble. I'll bet we could have something ready to show/test within a week... something that may pay dividends for years to come. We have a ton of validations coming up (I, personally, have 9 to do so far for HEDIS 2013), so I'd love to see the next round of validations done using Debug, and have validators not have to mess with the code tables, at all, ever again. Whatchathink? - Matt --- Scotto and Shannon Thanksgiving friday --- Mff 4x6 or 6x9 --- "The ultimate test of a man's conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard." - Gaylord Nelson Posted by Kristin Robbins --- If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Present Posted by Judy Oliver Busby --- Our grandson, Josh, is 17 and the star of the Varsity football team, and he's a senior, and it's the homecoming game tonight, and he joined the Marines, so he's outta here right after he graduates in June. So, even tho I was torn, I thought we better not miss it! --- f Melinda, wth?!? --- Well gang, I have good news and bad news... Good news: LinkedIn support says they were able to find and remove the problem of people getting gobs of emails from this group they didn't ask for. This sounds good, so let us know here if you still have a problem with this. Bad news: The problem seems to have been in the "Introduce Yourself" thread, our most popular discussion with almost 5,000 posts by all of you, the most amazing list of EQ learners, HR folks, admin, managers and other professionals ever amassed... who either know about, or want to know about EQ... and now it's gone! I have been working with them extensively, I pleaded, got angry, even offered to pay them to go back a week or so in their archives, and restore this important thread... but no luck. I am at a loss, and also sick over this wonderful thread disappearing. So let's start it over. EQ is partially about overcoming adversity, so PLEASE go to the discussion below and (re-)introduce yourself. Sorry, and thanks. --- 5:38 Val Hi You. Attached is an invoice for the video production of EQ-101 shows 2 (Emotional Healing) and 3 (Anger), as well as an updated spreadsheet. There will be another invoice, about this much again, after all graphics are inserted and editing is done. Btw, as you know, I'm still staying with Tom O a few days a week and we've been having a blast together. He and I and his girlfriend Harleigh (do you know her?) went to a Sf Giants game together last week. Tom's band is playing a live gig tonights (pop reggae) and they're super Good! Howz you? - Matt --- 5:43 Elizabeth, MCTV Hi. Yes, I will pay this invoice. Sorry for the delay in the Powerpoints. Actually, come to think of it... how about having Mateo or someone do the missing powerpoint slides for Show 2. I am willing to pay an extra hour or hour-and-a-half to get this done. Thanks. - Matt p.s. - my last name is spelled Perelstein. -------- Original Message -------- Subject: invoice for work done From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Wed, October 03, 2012 10:49 am To: Matt Pearlstein Hi Matt, Here is an invoice for the two studio shoots you did. Once you are able to get back to editing work we'll do final invoices, but would like this invoice to be paid soon Elilzabeth --- try to get Tom's PC to connect via wireless no luck --- 7+ Josh's Homecoming game! they won, at the last minute! 18-14! Josh played deense, oense AND special teams! not cold out, either. awesome! --- 10.6 Sat espn, poops, euc order labels --- LI-EIN 6 newbies Romeo H. Beliefs versus Values My take on the difference between values and beliefs. Feel free to pitched in with your opinions too. One reason why values are similar to beliefs is because the root or origin of values comes from beliefs. You've got to have the faculty of belief to first have faith in the values. Let me explain what I mean by defining each separately. Values are those things we put value or importance to or ones that we despise too. Values could fall into two categories- practiced values versus espoused or ideal values( ones that are ideal but are found struggling to practice). Values may spring up from any domain of life-finance,family,career,social,spiritual,health or leisure. Based on the various departments of life we ascribe value to spiritual over to career, family over spiritual, family over career or vice versa. These all depends on our values-( values by the way is not inborn, its a learnt or preferred choice to options in life). According to Tony Robbins, there are 2 types of values- means values and end values. To illustrate the difference, let me give an example of someone wanting to buy a Mercedez car. Here the person's mean value is the Mercedez but his end value might be prestige and social standing. Again Tony also give 2 continuum of values- one is toward values( values we run to-e.g peace, success, love) and other is the "away values"( ones we try to run away from) Beliefs by the way is our inner conviction of what is supposedly true or false to us( again based on our upbringing and training). It can be answered in Yes or No. Its a Certainty of feeling about the meaning of something. There are 2 types of beliefs- one that empowers us, the other is one that limits us. And there are 2 layers of beliefs again- one is core and the other is the surface belief. Core beliefs affect our identity. E.g Am good or am lazy. Surface beliefs affect our abilities- E.g I can do or I can't do that. Hope my input also expands our understanding of the difference between these two determinants of all human behaviors --- 07:51 PP = 1993 (almost...) post! --- Melinda http://ondemandvirtualservices.com/contact-us-2/ Please don't try to ignore me, Melinda, I'm not going away. I need you to finish EQRocks.com, as promised, or refund my money. What is your reply? - Matt --- Karma's only a bitch if you are! --- Josh freedman (9/22) Hi Matt - re approval - I don't have a particular reason, I just figure it's fine for people to wait a couple days after requesting to join, so I just do the most recent 30 or so, however many are more then 2-3 days old. Re NE course - "How would you see it fitting in to your current offerings?" - we don't really offer courses for general public like this, so not sure how it fits. Definitely don't want to be offering a kind of "group therapy" experience under 6s brand - that's not what we do. So for us to market, it has to focus on teaching specific tools & skills based on recent science. :) - J --- 08:35 Very cool, Val... yes, if you could pay them directly, that would be most helpful! She/they can't take credit cards or paypal, and I don't have any checks, so I paid her last time in cash... which seems kinda tacky. Their address, from the invoice, is: Mendocino Coast Television, Inc. PO Box 1672 Fort Bragg, CA 95437 Thanks much! Hi to Rebecca. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: from Valerie Re: Invoice/Receipt for EQ-101, Show 2 Video From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Sat, October 06, 2012 8:27 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi, Matt. No, I didn't know that you hung out with Tom. Nice guy. Haven't seen him in years and years. Payment issues: 1) Got the Mendocino Coast TV invoice for $180 Category 1 (Infomercials). I assumed I should pay them directly until I saw on the new spreadsheet that it appears that you paid them. So, what I need to reimburse you is a receipt of some sort that show that you paid this bill. Then I can reimburse you. Otherwise, I can just pay them directly. Let me know. 2) The new spreadsheet's "Balance Spent" line shows the old amount and does not reflect the $180 spent. The "Remaining Balance" seems correct. So, let me know about #1, and no need to bother with a new spread sheet right yet until we can fill in the payment details in line 6 and when the balance is corrected. Valerie --- 08:43 Startup or Google Affiliate Network http://www.google.com/ads/affiliatenetwork/advertiser/inquiry_thanks.html We sell fresh cut Eucalyptus, that we ship to customers. Others could easily sell it, give us the address and we drop-ship to their customer. Most bird and sugar glider owners don't know how much their pets LOVE Eucalyptus! - Thanks for your interest in Google Affiliate Network. We'll review your information and respond within approximately three business days. --- 08:59 ok, good. The last email I have from you was 3 weeks ago, 9/19, saying you'd be done "tonight". Let me know what's next. - Matt 09:45 - noon cleaned and worked on new MFF office then pizza and beer lunch after Mark, CW, Arlene, pkp and I then to Kelly House auction some fun stuff gift certs... $25 for 20, 100 for 75 and 2 cases of blue star --- PP = 2033!! --- 4:43 I recommend it, too! I haven't used vWorker itself, but I've used Elance.com a number of times -- similar concept, super-competitve pricing, excellent results. Right now, I'm having a tri-old brochure professionally created, unlimited revisions, $57. It evens the playing field, allowing the little guys to get projects done like the big guys, so it comes down to content, caring and class. --- Yo Lonn, UK, Robin I have an interesting question/problem for you... A big fan gave me $5,000 to spend on promoting our workshop and EQ. How would you best spend it? - Matt --- to frank and nancy's trailer, haven't seen 'em for 4 months or so. $100, nice(!) --- 5:48 How EQ Healing works...(!) 1. We're born awesome, with full contact with our feelings. 2. Our feelings get all messed up, from life, parents, school, other kids, trauma, abandonment, molest -- unexpressed fear, hurt and anger. 3. When those yucky things happen, and we don't have any way to 'resolve' our feelings inside, we 'decide' things about ourselves, both good and bad. The good -- our pride, our values, sense of humor, love, hope and perserverance -- helps us survive and deal. But, there's also the bad -- the painful, yucky, victim, less than, shameful, separate, don't fit in, unloved and unlovable kinda stuff -- that's deep down in our soul at this point, is where we need to focus, and release. If we can find out biggest limiting, core belief systems about who we are and how we fit into the world, that can change everything! 4. So, we spend a weekend experiencing that. We go back into our childhood, on purpose. We dig up those old yucky, nasty, ugly memories -- the ones that have effected, and trashed, our lives for many, many years now -- we look for them, we find them, we GO for them, we feel them, we release them, and we fill ourselves back up with the most amazing feelings of hope, and strength, and love, and acceptance, and EMOTIONAL fREEDOM you've probably ever felt! 5. After, we find that we can do this ourselves. We don't NEED books, people, therapists, classes, even friends or family... we don't NEED much of anything, really... except ourselves. Our lives become our own. We find freedom, and personal power, and a sense of control, and direction that is second to none. 6. It's not peachy from here on... it's not... sorry. But, it is YOURS. It is your life, your power, your feelings, your thoughts, your behaviours, your strength, your experience, your life... period... and NO ONE can take that away from you... not ever. 7. Things look better. The world is more colorful. You are deeper, people are more wonderous, and feelings, and caring, and values, and love all mean more. You are able to push yourself, to motivate yourself, to adjust your attitude as needed, to succeed (or to kick your own a$$ when you fail or f-up... not too long or too hard... but enuf to ensure it doesn't happen again). You learn, you grow, you connect, and you live. --- Hey Terry, I just signed up for the Google Affiliate Network (thanks for the suggestion... I was all excited about the possibilities here) and I get a reply email that says, oh, and it's $1000 to start, min. $500/mo... and if you don't sell that much, you will be billed the dif. Ouch. So that ain't happenin' any time soon... So, I started the process with cj.com. We could also use Clickbank... Yes, we have a few zoos already and yes, we have plenty of Eucs to service them! Personally, I think this could be one of the easiest, and most lucrative, target markets! I also have a mailing list of all the zoos in the US, if you wanna do a mailing and offer a free sample. Sure, come on up! We have an RV, and we have plenty-o-room for another (13 acres). "Harvest your own" would be very do-able... and we already have a huge rope swing (from a Euc), and our neighbor is threatening to put in a zip line! Come check it out. so what's next? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Your products From: Terry Date: Fri, October 05, 2012 10:23 am To: Eucs Commission on sales sounds nice but it also sounds like a big hassle to me in the small business realm. I havent a clue how one would track commissions in a low-tech way. As a web "publisher", I dont really see or care much about what seller fees are in any affiliate program. I like ebay because their system does all of the hard work. I have sold a lot on Ebay myself but have never opened a store. Perhaps you could consider doing simple non-store listings for awhile to see how that goes. If something sells, relist it. Ebay does give you 50 free listings a month so there isnt much to lose right now. I'll bet certain products would do better than others to merit their listing. Heck, maybe you should try a simple "sugar glider eucalyptus" listing. I will happily help you come up with some kewl ebay listing. Im not sure I ever saw any of your prior stuff on Ebay which suggests to me that you may not have been seeing much for conversions. If you had an affiliate tracking system, you could then allow other publishers to promote your goods "easily" and Im sure your sales would increase. Question is, where to go for the affiliate system. One can roll it in-house but then that's a whole other side to your business that's a pain. You may not see enough traffic from that alone to justify running it, so the next best thing is to go offsite. Something like http://www.cj.com or http://shareasale.com would get you started. As a publisher, I'm looking for the easiest and most hands-off way to monetize my web traffic. Third party programs work. Google has a system that is growing in popularity: http://www.google.com/ads/affiliatenetwork/ As a publisher I havent quite figured out how to use this one yet. Maybe helping you some would allow me to help myself some here. I think you can essentially upload your entire inventory and then their platform allows people like me to list and highlight specific items related to my site. Personally, I do need to start thinking bigger in what I do. I wouldnt mind using this opportunity to grow. I guess the problem from your point of view is "How can I allow others to monetize my products". My typical "DIY" answer would be that you need a "basket system" for your web site that already has built-in affiliate conversion tracking. You have done ok with the Paypal buttons but that only takes you so far. There is free stuff out there. I'm not yet familiar with it. What's your web hosting situation and constraints? How are your skills when it comes to implementing and troubleshooting a pre-written script? You guys selling to any zoos? I wonder if you have enough acreage to even do such. Have you a spot over there to park and plug in a small rv? I might have to come pay you a weekend visit some day soon and pick up some of the goings-on. Highlighting a trip might be a fun part of a web site campaign for me, but even for you as you offer to allow some of your customers to come visit the farm. :) "Harvest your own Euc at $10 a basket..." And next you'll have to install a zip line or a few tree houses. Terry --- LI-EIN Beth R. commented on How well do you process what's being heard? I believe being able to process information will be more crucial in the furure. Many individuals simply wish to shout others down instead of really taking the time to listen to what they have to say. Many people cannot absorb new information because it threatens there comfort zone. Good listeners are definately ahead of the game. Beth R. commented on How well do you process what's being heard? I believe that being a good listener can serve as an excellent attribute because so many individuals merely shout others down without processing any information that they hear. Many people also have a difficult time processing new information because it threatens their comfort zone. I have good listening skills. I believe that myself as well as others who can absorb inforamtion can ultimately find our selves ahead of the game because we will have more of an inside track as to what is really going on. - If we can't/won't let ourselves feel, we can't be very good listeners. We listen in a way that we do NOT feel. We spend our lives AVOIDING our feelings. 1. feelings are a bad thing. 2. feelings are to be avoided AT ALL COSTS! They say that statistically, Many people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of dying! I say, they're even MORE afraid of their own fear, their own anger, their own pain. I believe people can, and have DIED, rather than face themselves. --- 6:26 LM - Ethan, E's birthday! 2 on phone, 1 on Merk's fB. Yo! How'z it going?!? I wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the E-man, but I wasn't sure how to best get hold of him. What's the best # to reach you guys? Take care. Hope all is well! HB2EP. - Uncle Matt --- hi! This is my new keyboard. gonna take a little getting used to. HP wired. other got too dirty, no "ffffffFFFFF" key sucked. no left arrow, nor 0, 2 & 5 on the keypad. dif. layout of pageup, dn, del, etc. oh, Delete is huge! good. seems tighter. leaving plastic on for now, as dust was the other keyboard's demise. I'm not doing anything dif. Gloria says she's gonna get us a grant and Debbie says she's gonna get me outta here. and Josh said i could do a class at 6 sec... based on popular science, not group therapy. Put all our written stuff together, plus the TCOYL book. --- >> "The Hidden Power of Anger" --- Perennial Positivity Quotes and comments on positivity. by Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan maerose81@yahoo.com 76x Welcome + 75 #75 Laughter Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. W.H. Auden - 6:59 FB-ND We teach with laughter... "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh!" - W.H. Auden --- We believe that love is the answer, and that starts with loving ourselves! We believe that, no matter how badly you've been hurt, if you'll let yourself feel it, you CAN heal it... all of it... and actually start liking and loving ourselves. We believe that we can live happy, successful lives by finding out as much as we can about US, ourselves, our bodies, our feelings, our minds and our soul, both our left-brain and our right-brain, our mind and our heart, our knowledge and our power. --- left-brain knowledge, logic, reason, rules and guidelines, right-brain POWER, Love, joy, empathy, compassion, heart, soul together: Wisdom, serenity, purpose, 'self-actualization', meaning, LIFE! --- I hate to be a wet blanket here....but I want to stop further work on this for now. I truly appreciate the thought and effort that has gone into this up to this point and fully acknowledge that the method we have is not the most efficient. I have a different perspective on this....I'm looking at the overall throughput of the team and the due dates for our deliverables. My take on this is as follows: 1) The validation by tool is more efficient than validation by stored proc.....so I want everyone using the tool asap to maximize debug throughput. I don't want anything to slow Ken/Amber from getting this ready for a wider audience. 2) Enhancements to the tool may be apparent now, but they will be much more insightful after we have experience with the tool. The reality is that we have very little experience with this tool. 3) Matt and Youde have skill sets that can be leveraged to improve the tool.....however, that is time not spent building/validating measures. Given the current crunch and need to deliver measures, I want all hands on deck working on deliverables. Nuff said.....lets re-open this for discussion after we have delivered on TN & CF--> custom measures, FL--> PQA and HBI measures Have a good start on HEDIS 2013 measures Or before Shruti goes on PTO in a month. Thanks......jim ________________________ Jim Frankfort, MD CMO and VP Clinical Informatics, Payer Solutions jfrankfort@us.imshealth.com office: (415) 814-7119 ? mobile: (408) 319-7613 -----Original Message----- From: Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) Sent: Friday, October 05, 2012 1:40 PM To: Tucker, Amber L. (EX1 - San Francisco); Tyler, Kenneth (EX1 - San Francisco); Wang, Youde (San Francisco); Frankfort, Jim (San Francisco); Gangadhar, Shruti (San Francisco) Subject: RE: Automation of Measure Validations - Code Table Validations Hi Gang, Thanks for entertaining our ideas yesterday. I appreciate everyone's input on this important task. The conclusion of the meeting was to "slowly move in the direction" of automation... which makes sense... yet I'm not sure that's the best plan. I realize now that completely automating validations is probably unreasonable, at least in our lifetime, but I feel even stronger about how the automation of SOME of the events, especially the checking of Code tables, could help with ANY and every validation. If we can come up with a bulletproof means of 100% checking code tables, or both inclusion and exclusion, on almost any measure, I'm quite sure that would save AT LEAST an hour on each validation, and in many cases could save 1/4 to 1/2 of the processing time required (especially on measures with 50-100 Code tables!). So, here's what I propose... Let's take what Youde and Amber have already designed, transform it into more generalized, repeatable stored procs, and then add it as an additional tab on our powerful Debug tool. I have coded in Access a time or two, Youde and Amber are SQL experts and understand measures and validations well, and together, I think we can make this happen. Ken's been working hard on getting the app perfect, and I, as well as Youde, have been using for almost a month now and it works REALLY well! With Ken's guidance, I could seamlessly "integrate" the new code table validation functionality into the existing Debug forms; same variables, naming conventions, code functions, fonts, the works. Jim and Shruti, I'd like your permission/blessing to proceed with exploring this project. I'd like to schedule an hour meeting on Monday with Amber, Ken, Youde and myself to come up with the best 'process' we can for automating, documenting and validating code tables, and present it to you (or, of course, you're welcome to join us, too!). The tool already selects and loads a measure, beautifully. What if we could then read the names of the code tables DIRECTLY from the specs that we receive (OCR via PDF) and COMPLETELY automate the task? My goal is to be able to list, validate and document every code table in (almost) any measure with one click. Browse to document, , Done. I think we can do it... without too much trouble. I'll bet we could have something ready to show/test within a week... something that may pay dividends for years to come. We have a ton of validations coming up (I, personally, have 9 to do so far for HEDIS 2013), so I'd love to see the next round of validations done using Debug, and have the validators not have to mess with code tables, at all, ever again. Whatchathink? - Matt --- 6:30-7:42 FB-ND Alex Hurtado Hey my name is Alex, and I was just wondering what this thing is and what it is about? I'm interested and would like to know more. Thank you for your time. - Hi Alex! thanks for the question... it made me think. Without knowing what interests you about us, let me try to sum it up as best I can. So, the workshop is based on a few very simple concepts... 1. We are doing the best we can with what we know / were taught. 2. We were NOT taught how to deal with our feelings and emotions in healthy productive ways, and we have very few positive role models in school, at home, at work, or anywhere else. 3. Living life alone, clueless and out of touch can be painful, and flat, and depressing. 4. There's hope. 5. If we can add our right-brain feelings and power and heart (EQ) to our left-brain logic and reason and wisdom (IQ), we can make better decisions (since we'll have way more information), we can have so much more control over, and respect for, ourselves and our own feelings and emotions, and together we can live amazing, successful, satisfying lives. IQ + EQ = LOL !! 6. So we create an environment in the workshop of total acceptance, and encouragement and love, to help each other fully OPEN UP our feelings and emotions -- so we can understand, accept and manage this incredible part of ourselves -- and to learn how to live a powerful, fully engaged, super-aware, kick-a$$ life! 7. We live happily ever after (well, happier, anyway). how'd I do in explaining it? - Matt --- 10.7 01 up, espn (both A's and Giants lost their first playoff games) snooze some more... 04: up again 04:55 Sometimes the greatest motivator is when someone tells you...you can't do it. --- 05:13 our home/place on Google maps https://maps.google.com/maps?q=california&hl=en&ll=39.434337,-123.769741&spn=0.072125,0.125484&sll=31.491014,65.839326&sspn=0.004977,0.007843&t=h&hnear=California&z=13 home of NewDirectionsWorkshops, too! https://maps.google.com/maps?q=california&hl=en&ll=39.434337,-123.769741&spn=0.072125,0.125484&sll=31.491014,65.839326&sspn=0.004977,0.007843&t=h&hnear=California&z=13 --- 06:05 Matt: I don't have enough information to answer. It depends on how much you know about how participants find you now, and whether being more visible to those prospects would help attract more participants vs being more visible in other places. A general given is that marketing to existing / past customers is always cheaper than marketing to new prospects. Satisfied customers are always your best salespeople as well. Perhaps a mailing to past participants offering them a $50 coupon for themselves, and one to share with a friend? (remember, I don't know what the weekend costs, so I just imagined a price). Lonn --- 06:19 The Living Matrix - Film on the New Science of Healing (2010) http://vimeo.com/21432874 seperation is the foundation of western thinking sep. mind from body body is a well-behaved machine 2 engines are head and heart various processes localized a thought magneto encepholographic reads outside the head thoughts broadcast energy fields chem make body feel better correct, but only for a time, not working on chronic ailments Quantum Physics explained with 'little bits' organism is a machine thru molecular collision, is how info is passed from cell to cell tennis balls in swimming pool balls are supposed to FIND another tennis ball, in a vast amount of water enzymes and hormones majesty of human emotion modern physics eliminated paradigm that Matter is primary but Mind, or Spirit, is primary intelligent energy fields! a story that's already been written science is a story told in chapters, which change an entire system works together we understand how cells work but NOT how they talk to each and transfer information female doctor, motorcycle accident, 66 stitches out of body experience cast from hip to ankle rally my immune system thru my thots I would visualize and I could feel it tingling noetic, came to me. personal healing recognizing that my mind is important to my body, and vice versa If you think you have a belief if you think your problem is incurable, you are right. if you think your problem is curable, then you are also right. it all depends on your Intention - Herman Koning, MD Medical Director, MediPoint Intention what is it, and how does it play a role in healing? how our thots, emotions and cognitions influence our immune system and our endocrine system We know that this happens. we know that people under stress have a diminished immune system it has been shown in the (!)intention does have physical effects spouse the compassionate intention program meditation, suttle --- 06:29 D-R so, 2 major world changers. 1. Teach people how to Be With, active listening when to talk, and when to SUAL! medical world is going thru a huge transition. Obama Care has kicked in where they can, and are, penalizing hospitals, financially, for 'preventable readmissions'. This is a hugely touchy subject bec. the hosp gives the best care they can WHILE the person is there, but as soon as they are discharged, they have zero control over what happens, whether they take their meds, whether they have McDonald's 4x a day, whether they drink and drive. So, now, the focus has to change... to caring for, and not just about, the patient. The hospitals are rushing to hire 'case managers', who call, and teach, and care, and listen, Huge oppty for EQ! what if we could train Volunteers, or college kids, or stay-at-home-moms, or elderly (!) how they can REALLY help others. People WANT to volunteer, they WANT to make a difference, they WANT to belong, and matter. We can offer them this as well as significantly helping the hospital industry. peers 2VH 2. it's about physical AND emotional, together. but no one on the planet does emotional like we do. to the depth and core and soul, like we do. we're gonna be in big demand someday. hope it's soon. keep workin', until then. it's good for me. (and keeps me off the streets) >> take the dif. interviews, break out dif. parts of them, and put them together into sound bytes. 1 2 3 2 3 4 5 3 ... --- with this new keyboard, we are gonna change the world. keep the old keyboard for the EQ museum. (new layout is tough, still). maybe try another I think we should start an EQ museum, now, and keep track of the milestones along the way. g --- Let's try ANOTHER new keyboard!(!) actually, this is an OLD keyboard, and mouse, wireless Dell, dusty, but with switched batteries, it works! that other 'set' was Microsoft. the mouse kept getting dirty pads, but I'm sure this one will, too. I like this keyboard, so far! and the keys are where I think they should be! and the sound controls work great... with a round volume knob! just gotta dust off this bad-boy! so does Calculator, and My Computer (windows explorer) Mail opened Outlook, but not an email msg. --- >> Mark Euc guy, mike? Mike Biaggi 937-4965 695-0746 (c) 07:34, LM with wife? he's been 3-4x, but this time he didn't really ask, and didn't really pay me for them, either. out of town until Wednesday. that's ok, it's not urgent, but it is kinda important. --- Emotional processing is magic like an orgasm! dif, orgasm feels good the whole way, and amazing at the end. processing feels quite horrible along the way, but with much longer lasting, potentially permanent / life-changing / experience-enhancing results. --- 07:58 Chip conley, FB Gratitude early on a Sunday morning. Waves crashing, moon shining, me howling....at Esalen for 50th anniversary celebration with insightful speakers for mind & heart: Byron Katie, Dean Ornish, Robert Reich, Anna Halprin, Marianne Williamson (we sort of shared a room). While the Esalen Institute is known as the birthplace of self-actualization, the times suggest we need to focus on social-actualization: how do we actualize as a planet, not just individually. Good question, Chip! We are finding that if we can develop a sense of self-love and acceptance, especially starting with understanding and empathy for our own inner child, this leads quite naturally to personal and social responsibility, and eventually to social-actualization. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) leads to emotional responsiblity. Emotional responsibility leads to personal responsibility. Personal responsiblity leads to social responsibility. And social responsibility, (hopefully) leads to social reform! IQ + EQ = LOL !! whatchathink? --- 08:01 UK Without knowing your immediate goals, what came up immediately is the following: - Build an entire new website - use some of our app information that we are working on, on your website - Place at least 3 case studies on your website - you need proof - Design and print very simple brochures to advertise - Finish the app Maybe more than $5,000 - but in this priority I will do it. Are you going to a Giants game again soon? I would love to go with if you have extra tickets. Lets meet in person - give me a call this week so that we can talk! Cheers and happy Sunday. Ursula --- 08:57 FB Shannah Helman just came back to the ND group! and Christine, too. - FB msgs Matt Perelstein welcome back, sweetie! How'z school?!? 41 minutes agoShannah Helman It feels good to be back. 40 minutes agoMatt Perelstein yay! 40 minutes agoShannah Helman I'm sorry I stepped away for so long, I just needed time to distance myself from some people and learn how to set my boundraries and feel safe again. I'm a new and improved Shannah! LOL 40 minutes agoMatt Perelstein no prob. I understand. 40 minutes agoShannah Helman School is going great!!!! 39 minutes agoMatt Perelstein you were pretty cool before, so I'm excited about this new person, too! 39 minutes agoShannah Helman I'm hoping that with what I've learned will help others on ND too! 39 minutes agoMatt Perelstein YAY!! So glad you're finally getting to go... I remember when you were ready to leave for music school, and then WHAM. Oh, great attitude. Thanks! love it. 39 minutes agoShannah Helman Yep, i'm getting ly life back on track. 38 minutes agoMatt Perelstein we have a LOT of work to do in helping people heal!! way to go! 38 minutes agoShannah Helman How is everything with you and Paula? I miss you guys! 37 minutes agoMatt Perelstein we're good, thanks. We both work too much, but oh well. She's still saving lives, I'm still doing stupid computer tricks to pay for us doin' ND. had a class here in FB, at Paula's work... went really well! 37 minutes agoShannah Helman LOL! sounds awesome! 37 minutes agoMatt Perelstein cool energy I still cry everytime I leave for SF for the week, but it won't be for forever. Mike Brown just 'made it' thru to do what he loves, and I can do the same. 36 minutes agoShannah Helman I hope to be able to go back for a few N.D. classes once I'm done with school. Right now it's kinda hard because I can't afford to miss a day. It's an accelerated program so missing a day is like missing a week. 36 minutes agoMatt Perelstein I see. Accelerated, ey? nice! how long? 35 minutes agoShannah Helman Yep! I know you guys can do it! It's tough but it's always worth it at the end 35 minutes agoMatt Perelstein hope so. (know so) 35 minutes agoShannah Helman The Vet assistant program is 9 months and based on how well I do there, I'll get into the Vet Tech program and that's another 11 months. 34 minutes agoMatt Perelstein cool. did you want to work awhile in between, or just keep going. ? It's not nearly as intense, but Rachel just got her Pharmacist Tech cert (and a big raise), so we're super proud of her! you can do it! (love your timeline pic! Is that a puppy... your puppy?) 30 minutes agoMatt Perelstein (this might seem kinda silly, but I feel like, with you coming back to the ND group, that today is a successful day! (tears...) really missed you guys, and was sooo sad to see you go... 27 minutes agoShannah Helman Sorry! I had to run to the kitchen cuz I forgot about the cinnamon rolls i was baking! LOL I'm just focusing on school, and after the 9 months are over, they send me out on an externship to work in a REAL Veterinary clinic for experience. 26 minutes agoMatt Perelstein yum... and yay. 26 minutes agoShannah Helman I'm hoping to find a job soon after graduating. i want to work with animals so bad. if it wasn't for my pets, I don't think I would be here, breathing air anymore. 26 minutes agoMatt Perelstein if you un-roll a cinnamon roll, and feed it very gently into the CD slot, I'm sure it will get to me... right?? 26 minutes agoShannah Helman Their quiet love and the knowledge that I had to take care of them and couldn't leave them is what pulled me through the darkest, lowest parts of the past few years. I want to pay them back for saving my life, by saving the lives of other animals. 25 minutes agoMatt Perelstein wow, yay for them, and good for you! 25 minutes agoShannah Helman LOL! it just might.. though my computer would be sticky 25 minutes agoMatt Perelstein how cool, to have found your purpose, ey? nice. that's how I feel about teaching EQ... giving back for what saved my life! 24 minutes agoShannah Helman yep! My dad always wanted bme to find what i love and do it for a living. he said doing what you love makes a job not feel like a job 24 minutes agoMatt Perelstein (and lives of so many others!) RIGHT-o! 24 minutes agoShannah Helman oh! and YES! that little black fluffy puppy in the pics is MY PUPPY!!!! 24 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Yay for dad! TOTALLY Cute! Name? 24 minutes agoShannah Helman He's a German Shepherd. and I named him Sirius Black (from the Harry Potter books) 23 minutes agoMatt Perelstein lol. Is he "serious"?? 23 minutes agoShannah Helman i've always wanted a German Shepherd and also, they are police dogs so it's kind of a nice om-age to daddy. He'll be our protector when daddy can't 23 minutes agoMatt Perelstein NICE! Your dad's pic still sits right beside me (well, left beside me, actually), watching me, too! 21 minutes agoShannah Helman LOL! He is a little reserved, which is normal for a German Shepherd. they're not outwardly friendly. They adore the people the live with. But he won't be aggressive to other people, not unless they hurt us. haha 21 minutes agoMatt Perelstein excellent. 21 minutes agoShannah Helman I'll have to bring him down with me to an ND weekend too so you can meet him 18 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Here's our puppy, and Rachel's puppy, silently wrestling... who are gonna make more puppies someday (semi-soon). 1336082846021.jpg 17 minutes agoMatt Perelstein loved that pic of Patrick and I lifting you up, too! 16 minutes agoShannah Helman OMG! She is so big!!!!!! I remember when you guys first got her, she was just a little thing! 14 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Yep, they're both HUGE! And Bella just won the Ugly Dog Contest a few weeks ago, at the Paul Bunyan Days festival. 11 minutes agoShannah Helman Awwwe! she's not ugly!!!! LOL! 4 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Nope, she got 4th in BIGgest doggie, and 2nd in Best Looking (out of 36!) I wonder how a German Shephard and Great Dane might mix... 3 minutes agoShannah Helman I have no idea. but it would be a very big dog. haha! 2 minutes agoMatt Perelstein Well, I'm gonna go up to the house to stuff my face for a bit and do some Honey Do's. Tell your mom and Mikie HI for me/us. Again, super nice chatting with you, and I'm sooo glad you're back! about a minute agoShannah Helman I gotta get my butt in gear and head out to see my horse. It was so good talking to you Matt and catching up! *big hugs* I certainly will! Give Paula a hug for me too and tell her I said hi! a few seconds agoMatt Perelstein Will do. Toodles! --- -9:45 Cheryl Hot Diggety!! So, I made a sign-up block for your new eSeries... and added your Y24U, as well! http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/ar.htm if you'd like, have Stevie boy update the page look-and-feel a bit, take off some of my junk, and we can post it on MBB.com. You're the best! - Matt p.s. - I only read one so far, the last one, and it fits for me oh so well... #75 Laughter Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W.H. Auden --- A Model for Active Listening: Master a Skill That Can Boost Your Career http://www.managingamericans.com/blogFeed/A-Model-for-Active-Listening-Master.htm 1) Don’t respond until you have all the information. 2) Focus on what’s different instead of focusing on what’s familiar. 3) Encourage the speaker --- "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." - Og Mandino --- 12:40 Hey gang, 1. We had a blast fixing up the office yesterday... stop by and see it... it's shiny clean now, with pics up, great movie posters (thanks, Mark), and we're ready for business! Mark, Arlene, Bob, CW (nice to meet you!) and Paula all pitched in. Then Arlene was sweet enough to buy us all pizza and beer next door at Frankie's for lunch (and mentioned something about some keys...). 2. I'm still awaiting instructions on a subsequent email blast just for Friends. Thanks. - Matt --- Wikipedia describes Emotional Intelligence as: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. --- 12:47 LI-EIN How well do you process what's being heard? A Model for Active Listening: Master a Skill That Can Boost Your Career managingamericans.com By Deb Calvert, President, People First Productivity Solutions Research by Korn Ferry International reveals that there is one competency that may be more important than any other in the workplace.... Thanks Lisa, and Beth. In my opinion, Active Listening is one of our most important EQ skills (however, I term this critical skill a little differently... called "Shut Up and Listen") as it includes empathy, caring, delayed gratification, giving yourself, and good old-fashioned love. --- 1:35 rowrow7@yahoo.com Yo Roger, How's SR?? Hope you and the misses are happy and well there. Hey, I drive thru SR every Monday morn, about 8, on my way to work in SF (by noon or 1). Do you belong to a gym with courts there? I was thinking we should do battle some time for an hour! Whatchathink? - Matt 916-599-8597 - I haven't played since June 30. 3 months and a week --- 1:40 on... D-R "Roger Loeb" (it's been a year... yikes) Ok, Roger this... I've done lots of noodling and writing over the past months, and I think I've got a more feasible plan now. I'm starting with the basics, so a very short outline is attached for your review and comment. Besides, since then, a significant amount of important research has been done, in an amazing array of areas, all of which are areas where EQ can effect positive, sometimes semi-miraculous, change. Thanks! - Matt working in ~mcp-D-RSteps_20121007.txt(!) not bad... D-R >> connect up the work with the ACE study www.ACEStudy.org with what we heard yesterday about the Obamacare penalties for preventable readmissions. --- YouTube now has live streaming with Hangouts On Air --- PP = 2132 orders 2 1 4 1 --- D-R The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study ABOUT THE STUDY: What everyone should know! Over 17,000 Kaiser Permanente members voluntarily participated in a study to find out about how stressful or traumatic experiences during childhood affect adult health. After all the identifying information about the patients was removed, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention processed the information the patients provided in their questionnaires, Here's What We Learned: Many people experience harsh events in their childhood. 63% of the people who participated in the study had experienced at least one category of childhood trauma. Over 20% experienced 3 or more categories of trauma which we call Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). • 11% experienced emotional abuse. • 28% experienced physical abuse. • 21% experienced sexual abuse. • 15% experienced emotional neglect. • 10% experienced physical neglect. • 13% witnessed their mothers being treated violently. • 27% grew up with someone in the household using alcohol and/or drugs. • 19% grew up with a mentally-ill person in the household. • 23% lost a parent due to separation or divorce. • 5% grew up with a household member in jail or prison. ACEs seem to account for one-half to two-thirds of the serious problems with drug use. They increase the likelihood that girls will have sex before reaching 15 years of age, and that boys or young men will be more likely to impregnate a teenage girl. Adversity in childhood causes mental health disorders such as depression, hallucinations and post-traumatic stress disorders. What everyone should know: Page 2 of 2 The more categories of trauma experienced in childhood, the greater the likelihood of experiencing: • alcoholism and alcohol abuse • chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) • depression • fetal death • poor health-related quality of life • illicit drug use • ischemic heart disease (IHD) • liver disease • risk for intimate partner violence • multiple sexual partners • sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) • smoking • obesity • suicide attempts • unintended pregnancies If you experienced childhood trauma, you're not alone. Talk with your family health practitioner about what happened to you when you were a child. Ask for help. For more information about the ACE Study, email carolredding@acestudy.org, visit www.acestudy.org, or the Centers for Disease Control Book that gives stats --- 4:30 - 7:30 orders, with pkp! 10ish dinner and bed --- 10.8 04:30 up, brush, here 05:16 LI-EIN Lisa Howe commented on Why Not Let Employees Have It Their Way? You may want to check out Patagonia. Patagonia makes sports equipment,clothing,etc. Their policy on work is very different from anything I have seen. I have included an excerpt from Patagonia's web site, www.Patagonia.com, that you may find interesting. Let My People Surf We were able, in many ways, to keep alive our cultural values, even during the heavy-growth years, and after the shock of the 1991 layoffs. We were surrounded by friends who could dress however they wanted, even barefooted. People ran or surfed at lunch, or played volleyball in the sandpit at the back of the building. The company sponsored ski and climbing trips; many more trips were undertaken informally by groups of friends who would drive up to the Sierras on Friday night and arrive home, groggy but happy, in time for work on Monday morning. Since 1984 we have had no private offices, an architectural arrangement that sometimes creates distractions but also helps keep communication open. That year we opened a cafeteria where employees can gather throughout the day that to this day serves healthy, mostly vegetarian food. And we also opened, at Malinda Chouinard's insistence, an on-site child care center, at the time one of only 150 in the country (today there are more than 3,000). The presence of children playing in the yard, or having lunch with their parents in the cafeteria helps keep the company atmosphere more familial than corporate. We also continue to offer – mostly for the benefit of working parents but also for others – flexible working hours and job sharing. We have never had to make a "break" from the traditional corporate culture that makes businesses hidebound and inhibits creativity. For the most part, we simply made the effort to hold to our own values and traditions (http://www.patagonia.com/us/patagonia.us, © 2012 Patagonia, Inc., Retrieved October 8th, 2012). - Katja Reyniers commented on I am a simple man and I sing a simple song. Never been so much in love and never hurt so bad, for the first time. @ Barbara: to love and to be loved starts with connection, by being open and yourself... vulnerability and at the same times to dare to be totaly yourself. I believe the other can only hurts me, because at that specific moment there is a part in me that still feels hurt and not filled with uncondiotional love. When I'm reflecting at my life, I see that each time I felt hurt, it was a opportunity to embrace life by choosing for compassion for myself and forgive the others because otherwise I would't had the opportunity to learn and to become stronger by being "softer". So step by step I become stronger by being loving and caring for myself, by opening myself and by letting go wathever the cause of pain, sorrow was or what hurts me at that specific moment. This proces is not always comfortable. I couldn't agree withe the reactions or actions from those who hurt me. But I noticed that each time I was hurt, there was always a part of me that hurt myself, a part that was afraid of being great, succesfull, powerfull or responsible. A part inside of me that kept me small and accept that I stay in the role of being a victim. The moment that this was clear to me I started to work at hose causes. And step by step I learn how to deal with it on a other base.. an base that is called uncondiotional love. I learnd that each person know the same fears but that each of us choose another way to handle it. So when someone is trying to hurt me, I can see now where that person is hurt in his of her live... and it remember my way ... so I can understand what they are living in... and I have compassion with them. When I noticed they don't hurt me anymore, I feel free and full of copassion and grace. When I look back I know I can be filled with gratitude for all those precious moments... because now I feel more freedom than ever before, now I'm more connected than at the start. But especially I can forgive myself and the others... so at the end there is only uncondional love and empathy. Love and kind regards , Katja - mcp testimonial Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Parenting can be very, very tough in these times. What would be your advice to any parent-one word or one sentence or a quote would do. @ Matt Perelstein: I think you are so right when you say -Walk the talk. Children especially teenagers never listen to you but they will notice how you behaves. Thanks. --- 05:30 do about 6 orders, 2 5's, 3 2's, and an S 06:45 done pack, make coffee, 'bye' all. ,wash car (without getting back passenger light wet... it leaks and blew the bulbs, again) ,get monitor, keyboard and mouse (for at Tom's) go... nice day lots on my mind very little writing talked to pkp, twice 10:30 Tom's unpack shower go... (hustle) Marin airporter 11:10 ferry IMS standup mtg heard fine, 'til it was my turn, then cut off Jim's gone 'til Thursday. Pay: gross: 3541 taxes: 774 deductions: 272 (still 3, next should be 4), no 401K net: 2495 BEFORE-TAX DEDUCTIONS Description Current YTD Anthem BCBS PPO 165.51 165.51 Delta Dental PPO 23.02 23.02 Transit Pre Tax 50.50 101.00 AFTER-TAX DEDUCTIONS Description Current YTD Legal 6.75 6.75 Employee Paid Optional Term Lf 11.05 11.05 Child Term Life 0.60 0.60 Family Voluntary Group Accidnt 0.53 0.53 Spouse Term Life 6.30 6.30 Long Term Disability 7.79 7.79 EMPLOYER PAID BENEFITS Description Current YTD Employee Paid Optional Term Lf* -1.28 -1.28 Company Paid Basic Life* 4.03 4.03 TOTAL: 239.03 289.53 TOTAL: 33.02 33.02 *TAXABLE --- As it turns out, it doesn't matter whether folks use the database on the T: drive, or copy it to your local C: drive... as long as the front-end file (PAD) remains linked to the shared back-end data (PADData and EffortData), which they should when copied. In fact, many people copy front-ends to their local drives, as it can be significantly faster (sometimes). The only issue is that when I make an update to PAD on T:, people will need to be notified to re-copy the updated PAD file from T: to C:. Does that answer your question? What's next... emailing Effort Letters, right? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Enhancements to PAD From: Gail Mosley Date: Mon, October 08, 2012 12:10 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Mary Tydingco Matt, Should we be accessing and using the database on the T drive, or is it acceptable to copy the database to our desktop and use/access it form there? Will it matter in terms of the changes you are making? It is causing some confusion here. Thanks. Gail --- 3:02 Jenean Merkel Perelstein 2:06pm Oct 8 Hey Matt- Either of our cell numbers work. Mine is 928-699-2421 and Scott's is 928-853-6379. We just got back in town from a weekend in Sedona with E and his buddies. Fun for sure! Love. --- 4:23 re: 401K enrollment Daisy stopped by and said to write to... Employee Solutions Center (Bethlehem), EmployeeSolutions@IMSHealth.com, 1-800-467-6130 - Hi. I’m new but I’m not sure I ever received information on how to enroll in the 401K plan. Would you please send info or a link (again)? Thanks much. - Matt --- >> make appt for Dental cap re-glued cleaning check-up >> North Coast Tire heater? rattle? >> Pacific AutoBody Sunroof >> E&B ABS light hesitation >> Pick-n-pull door panels shift handle driver sun visor --- 5:56 Hi Marja, Welcome back! You had to defend your thesis, right? How'd it go? Susan asked me to remove the ability to nuke a Contact from the Contacts form, so I hid the button, and removed the record selector (down the left edge of the screen, that you can click on and then just hit Delete and poof, they're gone). Therefore, the only way to delete contacts is to delete them directly from the Contacts table. Hit , go to Tables, open the Contacts table, find the record you wish to delete, click to the far left to select the entire record, then just hit the Delete key (or Ctrl and minus). However, rather than permanently removing the record, it might be better to set their Status to "Archived" or "Old". Let me know if that works / is ok with you. Best wishes. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: access From: "Registrar" Date: Mon, October 08, 2012 4:45 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Hey Matt. I'm back, and Susan mentioned you guys had changed how I would need to delete contacts. I need to delete a few now, of course. :) Could ya walk me through it? thanks a bunch Marja Liisa Kay Registrar Mendocino Art Center 707-937-5818 ext. 10 register@mendocinoartcenter.org --- 6 go! MNF --- >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> FORGOT STICK AT Tom's! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> --- 10.9 (Cont'd) 06:30 up phone not charged 07:30 pkp go 08:20 ferry met Adam Cherier (acherier@hotmail.com) out back Wells Fargo video training creator! wrote some great quotes of his, and he signed my paper saw a battleship in the bay(!) left from Fleet Week last weekend --- signing up for IMS/Charles schwab 401k --- PP = 1972 - igor (ass, called me a liar) + new sub (ha) 10.09.12 Laurie Ramos $11.95 1/2L ramoslaurie@yahoo.com 305 W Oltorf St, Austin, TX 78704 --- >> bring 500 drive to work to load music... or wait and do it on Friday. Chicago and Godsmack 'til then! --- 2-3 Emergency Building Training --- 3:33 $333 to Tom tonight dos mas --- Social Media for Non-profits Thursday, October 11, 2012 from 9:00 AM to 5:30 PM (PDT) San Francisco Marriott Marquis 55 4th St --- 5:40 MFF Ok, here we go! I'll meet you there, a few minutes before, ok? I'm at 916-599-8597 (c). What's your cell #, Mark? Looking forward to it. - Matt --- Hi Francine. I've heard that both Euc leaves and seed pods help with feline flea control. Leaves: put in or around bedding Seed pods: lace together (like popcorn on a Christmas tree) and hang around their neck. If you want to give it a try, order a 1/2 lb. of leaves and I'll throw in a bunch of seed pods, so you can try both ways. Sound good? - Matt www.EucProducts.com/leaves --- 6 go ferry nice out(!) warm, beautiful sunset (pics) Marin B. Eric (Lumanation, $3m home flip) another guy (email is in notebook) "Which side of the couch are you on?", "both" bandcamp $333 to tom for rent, no $350 (incl. internet and utilities) chatted for 2-3 hours in the kitchen about EQ and claire, and Tom's fam, and all the people he wants in the class(!) ND: April 5-7, 2013, Bay area --- I know... you just feel cozy and loving and warm toward me... and you like it. that's all. EQ and positives really is gonna change the world. In think we both feel strongly about the magic of EQ. good stuff, sis! let's stay bro and sis for good, shall we? - me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Welcome to Perennial Positivity From: Cheryl Nolan Date: Tue, October 09, 2012 9:58 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi! Lucky me because "Pocket Positives" and "More Pocket Positives" have alphabetized the subject matter. BTW - it's great to be back in touch with you! I know we were never "not in touch" but you know what I mean... C -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Matt Perelstein To: maerose81@yahoo.com Sent: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 12:41 AM Subject: Re: Welcome to Perennial Positivity No pressure!! And Quotes 4Life has been available... I just added the other two. How did you get 'em in alpha order... did you write these all out first? Thanks 4 doing this! -da bro -----Original message----- From: Cheryl Nolan To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Sent: Mon, Oct 8, 2012 07:54:32 GMT+00:00 Subject: Re: Welcome to Perennial Positivity Okay, now I'm scared - this means I have to really force myself to find quiet time to work on these - WTF?, LOL! I want to try to stay ahead of you. You can include Quotes for Life as well - when you have time. I know you are a busy guy nowadays. Thanks for all you do! Cheryl -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "matt@2gethelp.com" To: maerose81@yahoo.com Sent: Monday, October 8, 2012 5:45 AM Subject: RE: Welcome to Perennial Positivity Hot Diggety!! So, I made a sign-up block for your new eSeries... and added your Y24U, as well! http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/ar.htm if you'd like, have Stevie boy update the page look-and-feel a bit, take off some of my junk, and we can post it on MBB.com. You're the best! - Matt p.s. - I only read one so far, the last one, and it fits for me oh so well... #75 Laughter Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W.H. Auden -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Welcome to Perennial Positivity From: "Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan" Date: Sun, October 07, 2012 8:14 am To: "Matt Perelstein" Hello Matt, Thank you for signing up to receive my thoughts on "Positivity" quotes. I have been a collector of quotes for many years but recently I found a copy of "Pocket Positives" and "More Pocket Positives" bound together in one volume at a booksale - and I couldn't resist! I believe it is critical for our mental health to remain focused on the positive aspects we encounter daily - rather than focusing on the negatives. So, I am beginning another year of "quotes" using this book as my source/guide. Here's hoping that this series of quotes will help you attain your goals! Cheryl Montgomery-Nolan Personal Email = maerose81@yahoo.com 2GetHelp, Inc. 32501 McDonnell Lane Fort Bragg, CA 95437 (707) 962-9006 info@EQRocks.com http://EQRocks.com If you no longer wish to receive communication from us: Cancel To update your contact information: Update --- 10:30 LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Parenting can be very, very tough in these times. What would be your advice to any parent-one word or one sentence or a quote would do. Acceptance and negotiation. Accept your kids for who they are and be willing to negotiate for rules, material items, curfew, etc. Posted by Victoria Brewster, MSW --- bandcamp, sorta playing tape of show the other night, at George's some guys already left, Marc and Mike and Chris What if trauma and PTSD could be re-imagined away? --- video is not a peachy, sweet music. it's grinding, powerful music showing pain, and anger, and how to deal with it, for real. positive, yet powerful. cry, show, process testimonial sound-bytes >> Gloria plan LBL reports, then email Effort letters brochure --- Video on Emotions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jqqoCWgGi8 Emotions with Spirity, What changes as you move along your spiritual path is the way you Process what you do with them and how they effect your life. they will not have the same effect as you when you were a child you will learn to choose your emotional responses to situations this when you the belief that once you steponto the spirutual path it is unreasonable to expect that just as it is unr to expect that you will always you will still feel anger and even fear, the emotions that once had control over you i wlll now be part balancing spirity and emotion gives you the freedom to live your lives without drama and chaos. in that respect, it may be difficul because one of the mind's and it likes to keep a certain amount of chaos so as you move towards balancing your you will find that some chaos and drama may at first, you will react then you will be free to experience in ways that reflect your spirituality life is meant to be fun and joyful when you are balanced, cannot devastate you or cause you rage balance you emotions spirity source of drama and chaos leave and change and you will be freeto move along your path without becoming so involved in your and joy and peace will be yours they your life will flow effortlessly --- 11:01 Hey, thanks, UK! super ideas. you've inspired me (again). I didn't think the Giants were gonna get another chance, but they're still in it now. I don't think I'll be going to another game, tho. The game we went to, the bleacher seats were $9. The first playoff game, the same seats were $135. I'm riding the ferry pretty consistently, gets to Larkspur at 7pm M-Th. Let's try again to get together, k? thanks again. you know me, and my 'cause' probably better than anyone on the planet right now. thanks for being a safe sounding board for me. gloria's got us applying for a big grant with the VA, who said, "we do not know how to manage PTSD, please help us." ($200M). - Matt 10:30+ T O' --- 10.10 00-00 - 00:41 T O' you don't have to wear it any longer! we wear our pain, our abuse, like clothes try it on see how it fts release the pain, and then choose to take action ask for what you want, while detaching yourself from the outcome... you can't lose. Class, here in SR, on my birthday 4/5/2013, Friday night --- It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perp asks is that the bystander do nothing. We appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement and remembering. - Dr. Judith Herman, Trauma & Recovery --- LI-EIN 22 newbies, 24 discussions always have your hook baited. In the pool you least think, there will be a fish. “To accuse others for one’s own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete.” – Epictetus Kelly H. commented onParenting can be very, very tough in these times. What would be your advice to any parent-one word or one sentence or a quote would do. " Enjoy them. Guide them, give them the confidence to make their own decisions but be there when they make the wrong ones! " --- pause --- 05:55 up, shower, haircut(!) Tom has a retractable round mirror on the wall by the shower so I could actually SEE the back of my head while cutting. nice! funny, tho, trying to maneuver the scissors between double mirrors --- 06:49 LI-EIN 8 J / 3 P J = Join Requests P = Posts, off to Promotions or Discussions Grace Tallar commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hello, I have been Emotional Intelligence trainer and coach since 1993. I am also Polish-Canadian nonfiction writer living in Toronto area. I was very fortunate to have as a mentor prof. Peter Salovey. EI is my passion and mission. --- 06:55 Changed name on LI profile from Database Dude by day, Emotional Intelligence Dude by night (EQRocks!) to Emotional Intelligence EQ Dude; EQRocks! --- EQ Dude; EQRocks! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/heaven-real-says-neurosurgeon-claims-visited-afterlife-213527063.html Dr. Eben Alexander has taught at Harvard Medical School and has earned a strong reputation as a neurosurgeon. And while Alexander says he's long called himself a Christian, he never held deeply religious beliefs or a pronounced faith in the afterlife. But after a week in a coma during the fall of 2008, during which his neocortex ceased to function, Alexander claims he experienced a life-changing visit to the afterlife, specifically heaven. "According to current medical understanding of the brain and mind, there is absolutely no way that I could have experienced even a dim and limited consciousness during my time in the coma, much less the hyper-vivid and completely coherent odyssey I underwent," Alexander writes in the cover story of this week's edition of Newsweek. So what exactly does heaven look like? Alexander says he first found himself floating above clouds before witnessing, "transparent, shimmering beings arced across the sky, leaving long, streamer like lines behind them." He claims to have been escorted by an unknown female companion and says he communicated with these beings through a method of correspondence that transcended language. Alexander says the messages he received from those beings loosely translated as: "You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever." "You have nothing to fear." "There is nothing you can do wrong." From there, Alexander claims to have traveled to "an immense void, completely dark, infinite in size, yet also infinitely comforting." He believes this void was the home of God. After recovering from his meningitis-induced coma, Alexander says he was reluctant to share his experience with his colleagues but found comfort inside the walls of his church. He's chronicled his experience in a new book, "Proof of Heaven: A neurosurgeon's journey into the afterlife," which will be published in late October. "I'm still a doctor, and still a man of science every bit as much as I was before I had my experience," Alexander writes. "But on a deep level I'm very different from the person I was before, because I've caught a glimpse of this emerging picture of reality. And you can believe me when I tell you that it will be worth every bit of the work it will take us, and those who come after us, to get it right." 2:41 Morgan Freedman, Dr. Eben Alexander describes his journey, in "another existance, out beyond the one we know." http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/10/07/proof-of-heaven-a-doctor-s-experience-with-the-afterlife.html --- >> new PC or my laptop MS Office Pin It, Scoop.it speakers --- Tantrums / behaviour is what is visible, if you really want to help, perhaps u need to dig deeper, to find what's driving that behaviour ? Feelings are 'real' to whoevers having them, they may be mistaken, we may not agree / understand, but it's very powerful to have someone 'validate' our feelings ! Sometimes, That's just about acknowledging and respecting what / how we feel, and then perhaps moving on to exploring 'what options do we have.' This may then create the context for transformation ! Posted by sanjoli chimni - Parenting can be very, very tough in these times. What would be your advice to any parent-one word or one sentence or a quote would do. Enjoy them. Guide them, give them the confidence to make their own decisions but be there when they make the wrong ones! Posted by Kelly Hunt - LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi Everyone, great to be a part of the group! I am a speaker and trainer in Emotional Intelligence with EQAdvantage.ca and CEYA.ca in Vancouver, British Columbia. I believe that EQ can become strategic advantage for companies who are willing to embrace it and "Develop a Culture of Excellence". I am a licensed practitioner with the Insights Discovery Learning and Development Program, a preference-based learning system that has its foundations in the work of Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung. I believe that Insights provides the best tools in the world for understanding and developing the four areas of emotional intelligence. I look forward to engaging with you as fellow partners on my journey of self discovery and personal growth. Posted by Russell Cullingworth, MBA - Discussion: Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello, I am a Project Director for Mott MacDonald and very interested in aspects of EI that will help me improve my leadership skills and the professional excellence of my teams. I find that in my profession (engineering) plenty of negative behaviours, poor communication and stress - in which I have a part to play. On a personal level I am looking for ways to manage anxienty and have a greater sense of purpose. Posted by Michael Savill - Wow after reading the introductions I feel I am in good company :) I'm a social policy analyst working for the federal government in Ottawa, Canada. Emotional intelligence to me encompasses all the psycho-developmental stages from birth to death. It is the language of the heart and mind combined. And leads us to better connection with ourselves and one another. Looking forward to being part of this great group. Posted by Lili Zwart - Acceptance of others, their looks, their behaviours, their beliefs, brings you an inner peace and tranquillity - instead of anger and resentment. --- 07:23 Adam Cherier, Wells Fargo film maker acherier@hotmail.com Wanna help me write a video on EQ, and the power of anger? I could have someone produce it, if you would help me write/design it... notes from our ferry ride together yesterday am epiphany everyone's a torch; they just need to be lit. we can be sparks, walking around, spreading the fire! We neet to stop being goal-oriented, and become more process-oriented, instead then we can't fail! 1. Awareness that something's gotta change 2. Move away from that moment to see that happiness is a choice Release the anchor of the past we're living others' metaphors but we need to grow up and make our own metaphors. "I've never met anyone who wasn't a genius." --- 07:35 when we are traumatized, as a kid, teen or adult, and we don't 'deal with' the pain and horror of the event we end up walking around 'wearing' the pain the trauma becomes 'part of' us, and we identify with it. that's not smart, and it's not necessary. D-R -------------------- mcp --------------- there is hope and there is help. we CAN heal the pain. we CAN change the pictures. we CAN feel better. we can make the trauma work FOR us, not against us EQRocks! --- Lumanation www.ReverbNation.com http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/lumanation About Members: Bobby Galyan / Marc Wendt / Michael Stecher / Tom O'Callaghan Sounds Like: Michael Franti and Spearhead, Pepper, Fishbone, Rebelution, Slightly Stoopid Label: Unsigned Lumanation emerged from the creative cauldron of the Marin County music scene, brought together by a common love of roots reggae music. The abundant Marin rock scene grows musicians, but the influence of Jamaican reggae touched these native sons, and in the footsteps of a california dub rock scene, Lumanation is bubbling the vibe near you! -- Bobby “G” Galyan still performs with his powerhouse band Lyon Eyes, a Ventura favorite for 20 years. Marc Wendt is steeped in reggae vibrations, his Uncle Doug Wendt being the DJ of Midnight Dread for over 30 years. TommyO studied under the legendary Chuck Brown. Mike Stecher began as a drummer and studied under Todd Fleming. Video http://www.reverbnation.com/lumanation#! --- 07:47 go... (last day for the week) to Social media workshop tomorrow with Mark Forgea, MFF made 08:20 ferry, but lady had whole cart of stuff to bring on so I switched with her and took the bus Ed Cushman, CEO, Hebrew Free Loans.org excellent ride/talk wife and kids are psychologists! --- 09:44 IMS --- New York / New Jersey Area: October 27, 28 & 29, 2012 http://www.humanext.com/HumaNext-Events.html Scholarships to Attend HumaNext Events http://www.humanext.com/scholarships.html You May Qualify for a Full or Partial Scholarship If you are granted a full or partial scholarship to one of our exciting learning events, you will get to attend all the sessions and participate fully in all the activities like those who have paid the full fee for the event. In the past years, several persons and organizations have enjoyed the benefits of our scholarship program. Read their stories on this page. HumaNext scholarships are usually granted to one or more persons selected by our Scholarship Committee- at its sole discretion- from the pool of applicants. Those who may apply are those working for small non-profit organizations (less than 50 persons), recent college graduates, research and Ph.D. students / assistants, new consultants (less than two years in business), and others with special needs who are not able to pay our full fee. What the US Army Coaching Director Said about Our Event The Executive Coaching Program Director of the US Army wrote the following about the three day program he attended: I have weaved some of the concepts (of the training) into what I am doing here at the Army... Francois leads his 'Applying Emotional Intelligence' class with a highly effective mixture of kindness, compassion and expertise. He creates and nurtures a cooperative and cohesive classroom environment, where participants are motivated to use their collective synergy to find solutions to their unique challenges." - Andy Kirkpatrick, CERDEC Executive Coaching Program Director Employee Resources Services US Army --- 10:35 Hi Shruti, (cc: Kevin) Per your request, I am officially requesting to take my first PTO day tomorrow, Oct. 11, 2012 This message is being copied to Kevin for record-keeping. (this is the first “paid” time-off I’ve had in over 15 years!) Thank you. - Matt --- >> bring/find phone battery pack glove box or trunk? >> pens --- Hey, This is my work email for you. Not nagging but did you send out that Cal Vet proposal? I was going to suggest that you could send it email once you have it on letter head. Call me later about the CDMRP proposal, I would like to spend some time on it today/tonight. Gloria Watson Project Administrator URS Corporation 30 River Park Place West, Suite 180 Fresno, CA. 93720 Tel: 559.256.1444 Direct: 559.256.1459 Mobile:559.269-5419 Fax: 559.256.1478 --- lunch with Youde and CJ (good chinese!) warning of inequality with mgt re: automating validations 3 promos in 3 years, while disappearing for weeks or months at a time. ("I get paid the same, either way") cookie after, and CJ told me about lady in hotel --- Hi Kirk, (Mason) I got a real job (finally), so I'm working in San Francisco every day and cannot ref for awhile. Would you please take me off your list for now? Hopefully, I'll be able to do soccer again next year. Thanks. Good luck with it all! - Matt Perelstein --- Mary Beth Wells Hour http://www.toginet.com/shows/adoptionjourneytomotherhood mbwtogiteam@gmail.com 4/20/1999 Columbine Massacre 12 students and 1 teacher killed 21 students injured 4th deadliest school massacre in US history - Astrology: Life Mission www.MaxineTaylor.com 15 min for $25 starmax@bellsouth.net Birth Chart gives understanding programming, hidden messages from their parents they're fabulous strengths, talents Road map - Hi MaryBeth, Sharon Davis said that you would like me as a guest on your show on Monday, Oct. 15. I'd love to be on, to talk about the life-changing / world-changing subject of Emotional Intelligence! Let me know how you'd like to proceed. Thanks. - Matt Perelstein 916-599-8597 --- Dr. Chris Martin (707) 937-1790 Amber 11:45 glue cap cleaning exam/x-rays --- >> I'm not the woman I used to be, I am free! radio show incest, minister --- CalVet - Fresno did CalVetProposal_20121010.doc Gloria reviewed printed, to be mailed Nazzera Tackett, Assistant Administrator Veterans Home of California, Fresno 2811 West California Avenue Fresno, CA 93706 --- finished the STDs for all 9 HEDIS measures I was assigned one is ready to be sent on Friday leave laptop here and pick it up in the morning, on the way to the SM workshop --- >>>>> Missing stuff from Tom's? >>>>> --- 10.11 05:30 up do 2GH 3-section brochure/handouts, printed 5x, so got 15x 08:20 ferry to IMS to get laptop Jim's right there, Hi, getting HEDIS measures done? yep. "good, because there's some urgency. Oh, well, I'm off today, just picking up the laptop. Oh :(, well have fun. hmmm... Mariott Marquis 55 4th 350x there nice tables handouts (see bag) founder of Scoop.it, Razoo, etc. 800 lines of notes --- 09:20 - 5: SM4NP, Social Media for Non-Profits --- Social Media for NonProfits Darian Rodriquez-Heyman www.Nonprofits101.org ED of Craigslist Non-profit Mgt 101 Inspired to action 1 full-timer: Riku marriott-conference / 65ae01 tactical and practical accessiblility - Microsoft: Todd Marshaurgh Razoo.com facebook causes Kimbia CBB insurance for NPs Fundly Change.org Salsa Vodaphone Techsoup.org super-cheap S/W for NPs $3B/yr from MS NP Insuracne Classy Awards Foundation Center Center for vol and NP leadership of marin KQED KGO 810 news SVCN $125 - 195 for conference 250-500 not accessible don't skimp on effort and education NTen, gives structure, not in Tides - scholarships Thea Nillson 2000 employees in the bay Skype Hotmail bing office:mac TellMe 75m unemployeed youth <50% have secondary eduation 1 in 4 youth are the "working poor" Show map of where your folks are from Microsoft.com/localimpactmap build followers Microsoft Silicon Valley metrics FB: Microsoft Silicon Valley - Razoo.com - a coin of little value many combined make a huge dif. Online fundraising Crowdfunding for causes > $100M raised Already on the platform, IRS DB scientific fact that giving makes us feel good! - Dr. Mark Drapeau @cheeky_geeky Microsoft Social media for social good have a personalty / presence 1000 employees in Washington DC talk to thinktanks and big NP in DC Goals: Awareness, then Fundraising tactical maneuvers are necessary, but not sufficient so Awareness is the first 1/3 less than 50 employees 1/3 50 - 100 1/3 over 100 XBox live is streaming the presidential debate tonight SVP launched the national talent Steve Balmer, made YouthSpark for job No one cares about your cause you're all competing with each other Goal -> Audience -> Story -> Media -> Feedback 1. What's your goal, specifically? 2. Who are you trying to reach? 3. What is the story you want to tell, overall? then 4. Media, incl. mailings, tv, public speaking, OpEd YouTube campaign, twitter, ... 5. Feedback make it surprising, eye-catching geek to chic, 25 geeks on catwalk bloomingdale's fashion show young community leaders / role models The Network for TY NIFTY SM 25% what we do 75% of what people say about you Twitter is a dynamic homepage for your brand! changing content search for you, go to twitter now can have big pics, like FB what are your last 20 tweets showing about you? personal vs. professional work vs. home Pinterest can be a valuable tool for visualizing for your audience something they can aspire to >> add pinterest to contact list EQ board make a 'board' with multiple pics and tell a story! aspire long-form content is still valuable discussion boards publicyte, innovation and technology >> what are you 6 big points for your website reading long stuff, 1000+ articles Patriotic.ly (coming in Nov) with startup America innovators of america startups and NPs fancy discussion board comments, rates, share to FB consistently post daily just 'cause they like or follow you doesn't mean they give a damn about you or know who you are --- Simplymeasure.com $500/mo. >> get Free reports! times, locations, #'s, engagement, etc. can send a direct message to everyone who follows you on twitter, by location CrowdSocial(?) more affordable - Libbie Leffler, Strategic Partnerships, Facebook small actes, when multiplied by millions, can transform our world inspire video: kids swim 2K to schools raise money to buy them a boat ferrying kids to school ----------- mcp ----------- If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will. - Mother Teresa connect with causes authenticity and identity platform partnerships partnering in a social world 1. Everybody is a partner of theirs 2. This all about education 3. Free tools pages, groups, free justgiving FB app indiv. can launch a campaign enabled people to share with their friends raised $40M last year water.org build experiences to share, and visualize give.water.org # lives helped Movember annual campaign where men grow a mustache and have people sponsor it $14M FB opengraph enabled site share photos >> waving wednesdays Socialblood.org 8 groups, by bloodtype get a msg when needs your bloodtype finding matching donors Mr. Roper do not pity a shelter dog, adopt one find pets a home Tips! Build a presence with Pages Program your page Photos are everything Engage other groups and orgs Tap into tools Analytics and insights 1. Program your page Abilitypath every Friday, they launch Foto Friday launch people's photos on their page Involvement, keep them engaged puts them at the center, and makes them the stars you're really listening >> Waving Wednesdays they have incentive to share distribution comment, like, share see that friends like your page 2. Photos are everything Water.org exampled don't need beautiful photos snap photos of events, stuff done, etc. snap, Intagram, FB speaks volumes, easy to share, broadcast 3. Engage other groups and orgs >> join others for cross-marketing ask them to tag you when you have an event, and tag when they have an event! 4. Tap into tools thanks to everyone who helped pick out our new cover, come check it out OpenGraph don't need an app timeline profile foto, cover photo, status updated, photos and videos events, questions (poll) >> ask re: 3 new cover photo 5. Analytics, Analytics, Analytics Nonprofits on FB every Saturday, check analytics, what works, what doesn't >> Admin control panel, Insights, See all reach, friends, friends of friends, reach aggragate and specific by country, city, gender, age know who you want to connect with, and is it working Facebook.com/nonprofits - their hub, get ideas, see examples Resource Center Talk to us, she reads every message send a note re: something to highlight > 1B around the world polls pre-fill answers vs. letting them fill 'em in >> create a media committee give 5-10 min/wk send them what's going out have others comment, seeds, likes, etc. - Scoop.it Guillaume Decugis, CEO, and founder Curation someone who continually finds, groups, orgs, etc. and shares it with others crowded, and everyone talks at the same time become a curator discover Xsocial graphx xinterest graphx noise relevant XsearchX find best practices for curation - organize your sources - filter with purpose - add your point of view - make it your content hub to feed FB - measure your impact do they care/react - build your community of interests people who are interested in what you're interested in create communities good curation: honor study sources credit transform remix bad curation: degrade skim few sources don't credit imitate cut and paste examples Ashoka.org cancercommons.org encouragingreport.com - sharing Good news! beth kanter, for NP's twitter #sm4np solution salon everyone is smarter than anyone ask a question keep it short how can we help be specific - lunch RB sandwhich -- what does success look like? Rolling Thunder 1. Donations 2. Ticket Sales 3. Awareness follower base $12/year value per follower NP's post their events 4-6 weeks out 80% of audience buys tickets only 2 weeks out or less Success: Rolling thunder one and done spray and pray find your drum beat be consistent let people know esp, from multiple sources if dividing the work, not just 1 person many hands make light work! organized who comm. what, where, when tools Editorial or content calendar >> ask for template / spreadsheet darian@sm4rp.org 10am Tues, fb, encourage 3pm Wed, twitter, volunteers emails: 9-11am Tues - Thurs. or mid-afternoon SM: 8:45am, 12:30, 6pm, 9:30pm get them in their down time on the way to work, lunchtime, on the way home, before bed (after kids in bed) plan and time >> check free report (see above) FB 900M people checked avg. 6x/day they have avg. 130 friends Likes, Comments and Shares are the currency >> end with a question Use media tag people edge ranking - boring vs. interesting - SM committee people like, comment or share, 3x/wk esp. all Board Members (low touch, high value) just Tuesdays or .... tools and platforms: (Darian and Ritu) - hootsuite for scheduling posts esp. for twitter - FB, schedule from there - twitter/FB direct msg. - create a registration page, at least 6 weeks out when, where, what, map, brownpapertickets donation button (if can't come) they use eventbrite good data, if going, 60% more likely to share - create an event on FB invite your friends/relevant folks - as things progress, more info share on that page - post in LinkedIn and FB groups - GooglePlus now has Events module - create a LinkedIn event - scatter the posts - Invite attendees to RSVP as they register - tag everyone - vidoes and pics are the most popular (cute puppies and kids) esp. when reading from a phone - What is a 'share' worth, $2.52 for NPs avg. 11 event share views - create (register) a #hashtag (6-8 char.) check to see if already being used check on twubs.com, tagal.us after - ask for feedback - create and share recaps - post and tag photos - review analytics - use storify.com and slideshare.net to share content they will photo deck, publish contributors - select and plan channels - incent early ticket purchasers (coupons, discount, free stuff) - collect donations from non-attendees - encourage post-purchase sharing - engage before, during and after - analyze what works where did sales come from, key drivers, compare to last year - try funding a specific project / task >> most powerful ask is a Friend ask: I invite YOu to join Me they donate, spread the word 20-200% >> facilitate sharing - Razoo.com Crowdfunding101 Lesley Mansford, CEO Tips! the collective wallet of the crowd! Your network trumps your wallet! people don't give TO you, they give THRU you! - easy - efficient - social - increases donor base - engages donors 1. Start 2. Set a realistic goal 3. Plan 4. Tell a story! 4. Start with people you know 5. Create a deadline (30-45 day campaigns) _ __ / \ / / ________________________/ / start middle end - end the campaign on a weekday (when people check their email) - be fun, creative the awkward dance campaign guy gets punishment at donation levels, pie in face beard on / off donations >> videos raise 4x more!!! the throwing cards thing, telling story this isn't about me - start promoting - countdown / thermometer widget - start with your inner circle - Thank you video! Lesley Mansford Optimize: 1. Change DONATE button changed from Grey to Red 2. Default Donation levels 50/100/200/other 3. Each donation level should be described as to what that will buy/bring 4. the 3-click rule if it takes more than 3 clicks, too many! return on investment vs. return on engagement turn your donors into fundraisers - Dave Boyce, CEO, Fundly all stand sit if you have raised more than $100 this year, $1000, $5000, 50K $10B more will be given this year than last year who gets it, those who are ASKing for it >> pick a platform! ask in their words, native to 2012 ask in their words, native to 2012 Online = social fundraising Oct. 2012 avg. donation on FUndly: $103 8yo raised $20k 9yo raised $30k for hosp. 15yo raised $50K for town in MA built a library co in Oakland started their own Montessori school Habitat For Humanity $1.5M use volunteers Teachers of America childrens Wall St. Journal buying supplies for hospitals >> pick a platform 6x here Myths: - If you build it, they will come - Like + Share buttons = social - People are dying to give you their money Must: - Make it easy - Make it emotional! super short, super emotional - Make it engaging, easy to share people, conversations photos, following, sharing, tracking progress dialog, questions make it a win! - viral loops Actions - 50% to goal - new picture - friend followed - comment - 2 days left Notifications Social Reach Easy + Emotional + Engaging = Effective --- Robert Rosenthal, VP Comm and Marketing VolunteerMatch.com Content Strategy Basics for Engaging Volunteers FB like = $214 first year value $3k lifetime value of a volunteer match recruit - 58 hours/year - 2.5 years 10x Donations - Sharing, petitions - microvolunteering - traditional volunteers - Skilled vol. - retention - donations Recruitment and Recognition Retention - Story telling (dif. than donor story telling) - how it works - create sharable content "buying what we are selling is the best way for them to be who they are" "To be interesting, be interested!" - David Ogilvy, advertising Purpose, Meaning and Mission ex: Luke Skywalker had a volunteer engager had similar purpose Luke wanted to fit in and do something OBwan, has a budget, has other needs to fill, wants to ensure Luke be successful Donating Vlounteers Money time, skills or both Buying membership Spontaneous or planned inherently transactional By age older folks what to use their skills youger folks want to DEVELP their skills! they all want to make a dif. they all want to meet other people Tips - Talk about volunteering on site and in SM - create surveys - the basics of storytelling the story of the cause org volunteer their work with you (wins and challenges) Instigation - they're needed and there's an oppty obstacles - Achievement - they can do it. they will be supported rewards, celebration, achievement Program support skilled non-skilled collecting and curating the volunteer experience building memories that can be shared SM best in the world saving, your members sharing the public - invest in cameras and remind supporters to bring theirs too esp. video - run contests of volunteers - send out surveys/polls >> - engage volunteers as reporters, shooters, tweeters, not takers, etc. ask Volunteer match staff to do SM! - remind supporters to use hashtags - monitor your social channels for comments and testimonials. Must have the word 'volunteer' on home page >> ways to volunteer (like ways to donate) page dedicated to volunteering >> Praise and thank publicly! they become the story of your org, at that moment 3 R's in Action: Recruit Recognize Retain new LinkedIn causes pics of an event couple volunteered on the honeymoon output 30000 vols, Friends of Trees stories, pics, crazy pics on FLikr make your message about people first let your brand guid your messages VoluteerMatch EngagingVolunteers.org Energize HandsOn LinkedIn groups Coyote Communications - Blue State Digital Blaise Nutter, Cameron Corda Mobile Google Page Speed can identify areas to improve no flash! constant testing, and they change (Apple iPhone 5 just came out, and over 50% of views already) check how your emails look Responsive Design fast, but not difficult style sheets that conditionally load if width = x, use these rules Reach mobile audience Maintain one site future proof the design and functionality iPhone are the #1 user opening emails! not gmail, yahoo, even Outlook (#1 forever) mobile-friendly emails and donation forms simple and fast! remove distractions... on mobile, remove even more distractions 1click donate optin uses saved transactions / information SMS Text to give (text __ to donate) - Fundraising Advocacy Marketing Recruitment - Causes Syd Fleischer, Community Director Community + Advocacy = Social Change A community of like-minded people that grows over time, builds social capital, and advocates for change thru collective action. Pledge Video Poll/quiz vote petition fundraise start post an action engage share and grow celebrate post cycle continues causes.com 170M people 50% is from peer-to-peer promotion 30% actively use twitter Case Studies Kitchen Gardeners Int'l edible garden on WhiteHouse lawn build community garden support in general change zoning laws social change advocacy help us win a grant 60K members - stop the war on front-yard veg. gardens 30k signed petition go to local meetings WIN: Changing the laws listen: solicit campaigns from your community Give people multiple avenuse of support be public and social pledge - Protect our Defenders change the way military handles SA 1-in-3 women are SA start al Lackland AFB videos, updates 10k constant updates share, small victories and warnings Tweet #AskBuck (the CO of Lackland) 3k tweets talk to people ask them why this is important to them over 1M people signed petition invite 25 friends, and ask them to invite 25 friends be personal, be authentic engage in conversation tell a personal story find ways for your community to reach levers of power leverage famous people's SM too celebrate victories along the way Petitions CAN work some tools can allow you to get an email when someone signs public comments --- wendy http://www.spacefoundation.org/visit/science-sphere --- get people to do SOMETHING! tweet, share, click, email... something! powerofthepeaceful.com what is the role of a Like? starts a conversation - Online Petition to Win Lawrence Grodeska, NP Community Mgr, Change.org Change.org/start-a-petition nonprofits@change.org smart solutions to build communities, atrract supporters and Lorax at Universal Studios boy scouts B of A 20M active users 150 countries B-corp, social benefit corp We the People - Obama campaign Human rights campaign 17000 petitioners 33M sigs petitions are a great tactic to support causes online petitions ARE social media The Theory of Change roadmap to a specific future objective who can help me reach my goal? leverage DIRTy Dramatic Inspiring Relevant - how does it effect THEIR life? Timely Groundswell shared moral vision for a better world "Tell Village Voice Media to STOP Child Sex Trafficking on Backpage.com" had a rally at Village Voice HQ in NYC pimps are branding their girls on Anderson Cooper Washington Post they won! - Achievable Ask - Specific targeting - Compelling story - Provocative image - Engaging title Email is still best What are YOU going to change? Pledge is a "Thank you" less action oriented, more passive not as effective petition fatigue - closing raffle, MS OFFICe $500 not. --- walked back to ferry, rained 6:20 Got on early, got window seat organized bag Nappage(!) car, apt (officially moved downstairs Costco pickup 2 inks switch Tom for LJ, no, $55 and needs letter from Paula --- 05:24 LI-EIN 15/6 --- 05:33 Hi Nick, I just noticed that one of your posts in the EIN group was misguided. I'm not sure which discussion you were responding to (it starts with @Karen...), but your post went into the Quotes discussion. If you'd like to resubmit it into the correct thread, I'll then remove the errant one. I cannot move it myself. If you'd like, I can send you the exact wording used. Thanks. I appreciate your involvement with EQ! - Matt --- FB-Getting to know me Sanjoli Chimni Pande What 'one' dominant belief that you hold in your mind and heart has stood you in good stead and carried you well through the challenges and opportunities life brought ? For me, it's " Happiness is a choice", every second of every day! Any time I'm feeling anything other than happy, I know I created those feelings, and I have the power and the EQ tools to change them whenever I want. Emotional responsibility sets me free!! --- PP = 2214 -261 USPS -- a record, I think(!) +6x yesterday, 2 already today --- FB-NDG Rock on, Shannah! Take some deep breaths, maybe even have a good scream in the car on the way, to release some of the tension. In fact, something we've been working with since last class... try getting Angry at your Fear(!)... tell it to CALM DOWN, and chill, so you can think. You can do it!! --- 05:50 My boss is from India and she's going home for a month for her sister's wedding... except that her sister doesn't have a husband picked out... so they gotta find someone suitable and available, get them together and married, and be back in a month! Is that common? --- "There is no security in life, only opportunity." - Mark Twain --- "Be Angry and Sin Not!" - Taking Control of your Anger and Rage --- Breaking the chain of family cycles can be done, and it only takes one person to step up and take action. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” - Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning --- 08:05 Euc Testimonials The trial package arrived today. I picked it up and had to stay at work for 2 more hours. I couldn't believe, when I walked to my car- so nice aroma! Lucky chew the stick and I hang already fresh leaves in the aviary with toys. We love it! You have me as returning customer for sure! Eucalyptus is healthy for us too. Pictures and more when I have opportunity - Margaret on AA - Amanda Holly McCaulla I got the starter pack to try it out and immediately both my girls jumped in and started nibbling the leaves they LOVE it they won't put it down :) I received my order today... The babies LOVE it! They chew on the sticks and play like crazy in the leaves. Thank you! --- Okie dokie, Wendy, will do! FYI: I'm now working 200 miles from home each week, so I come home and do Euc orders on the weekends with my granddaughter. Therefore, your orders should go out each Monday. Thanks again. I'll send you long, beautiful banana-shaped leaves, as always! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: euc time! From: "CIMINO, WENDY" Date: Fri, October 12, 2012 8:31 am To: Hi Matt, It’s that time of year again! The leaves are almost all gone out here a little early this year due to our drought. Could you start sending 3# of eucalyptus weekly? I’m sure we’ll make adjustments as time goes on but lets start with that. I still have to hear back from the other department that started getting it last year so if they decide they will be needing some too I’ll send you another email. If you don’t hear from me then just stick with the 3#. Thanks!! Wendy --- 09:15 (Val) Super cool -- Yay for Tracy (and for you for supporting her on this important journey)!! You guys rock! - Matt p.s - We just scheduled a first ND in the Bay area, with Tom O, and others! Will be the best birthday present for me... April 5-7, 2013 in San Rafael, CA. Come up and join us (we'll need assistants)! --- 9+ motorcyclin' with Bella and Bud last chance for blueberries this year - yum! --- >> note to MFF re: workshop --- Melinda --- SORRY, sweetie, about your bad news. smart girl taking today to cry. damn. whenever you're ready. Actually, I get to go play RACQUETBALL tomorrow... woohoo... been over 3 months. But it's in Ukiah (hour away), Paula's going and we'll go out after. So call me tomorrow morn or Sunday, or if it's a shitty weekend for you, Monday. love you. hang in there. - Matt --- lunch argue re: same thing part of "Down and out in Beverly Hills" --- New Job: New Haven CT School District sent ERD $65, 10-15 hrs/wk for 6 mo. William DeLeo I Get It! Development, Inc. (401) 580-5289 www.igetit.net --- Just something ot warm your evenings...This is what We Wish for You This Evening and Every Evening to Follow... Comfort on Difficult Days… Smiles when Sadness Intrudes…Rainbows to Follow the Clouds… Laughter to Kiss Your lips…Sunsets to Warm Your Heart…Hugs when Spirits Sag… Beauty for Your Eyes to See…Friendships to Brighten Your Being… Faith so that you May Believe… Confidence for when You Doubt... Posted by Dan Horn --- No prob! Did you want the new-growth, grayish, oval leaves, or the long, green, banana leaves, or both? I'll send you some beauties, and pack them nicer than usual. Order 2 lbs. here: http://www.EucProducts.com/leaves Sound good? - Matt --- Office 2010: How to Enable or Disable DEP Mode http://www.technipages.com/office-2010-how-to-enable-or-disable-dep-mode.html --- 4:15 razoo.com m@2gh, 2Gh 2 Get Help, Incorporated FB, T, LI, EQRocks mcp-teachin http://www.razoo.com/story/2-Get-Help-Incorporated (added to main area above) - Aaron Borrelli (Razoo Support) Oct 12 07:20 pm (EDT) Hi Matt, Thank you. I have just given you administrative privileges. Kind regards, Aaron Razoo Customer Support Team Facebook: facebook.com/RazooGiving Twitter: twitter.com/#!/razoo Pinterest: pinterest.com/razoogiving Razoo e-Newsletter: razoo.com/p/e-news --- 5-6:15 ridin' motorcycles with the boys (and girls, and doggies)!!!(!) --- 6:28 I'm glad we're talking about the mission! It's not that I don't agree with ours, it's just not clear, and obvious. Let's sum it up in a few powerful words, something people can understand, relate to and get behind... like.... Mendocino Film Festival Bringing the culture, education and entertainment of film and movies to the Mendocino community! something like that... Let's create a tag line, just below our name, on the site, on signage, on badges, on tickets, on postcards, etc. Ideas? - Matt --- 6:42 Hey, I think we may have found our niche! I thought it was EQ, but EQ is getting so popular now (yay!) that we need to dig deeper. So, what feeling has a horribly bad reputation, but we find that, when managed and mastered, can actually become one of the most important and powerful tools in our our emotional toolbox?!? Our ANGER!! Without our anger, we are wimpy, codependent, frightened, and shut down. Without our anger, we get depressed, and feel powerless, and lost. WITH our anger, we can step out into the world, be BRAVE about our feelings, look people in the eye, and know that, without a doubt, we can, and WILL, take care of ourselves, and our loved ones, in powerful, effective ways. I've never heard of another healing modality that faces ANGER the way we do -- head on -- as a good and valuable feeling/tool -- that can be used to heal, to motivate, to release, and to succeed! Whatchathink? (plus we are blessed to have Sharon... the goddess of Anger, herself!) --- Euc testimonial Hello Matt, We received our first monthly order in the mail today, thank you. We are very pleased with it. I would also like to get some of your free euc seed with my next order if you don't mind. I know the Oklahoma climate isn't suitable to grow eucs but I would still like to give it a try. Once again, thank you for such a wonderful service. Our birds are going to love them! Dianna (in Oklahoma) Sammy (SI Eclectus) Jade (SI Eclectus) Ruby (SI Eclectus) Tuki (Shamrock Macaw) --- new 5C Sub! --- pizza and beer for dinner "The Descendents" - George Clooney. Not happy, but good --- RHC Redwood Health Club - Ukiah our new 'home court' an hour away http://www.redwoodhealthclubofukiah.com/club-tour/ --- Giants won their divisional playoffs (in 5 games) A's lost theirs (in 5) --- 10.13 05:20 up, poops scoopin' in! --- 06:09 Can You Teach Emotional Intelligence? The Secretary of Education isn’t the only one who thinks so. Behind the growing movement for social and emotional learning. http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/can-you-teach-emotional-intelligence The children were silent, some of them rubbing their temples as they considered these questions. Peace persisted as Spencer led them through a breathing exercise that used the idea of “smelling the cake” and “blowing out the candles” to inspire deep inhales and exhales, and then instructed them to lay head-to-toe on the carpet to do a guided muscle relaxation meditation. D-R According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), a group that advocates the widespread adoption of SEL instruction, students exposed to SEL see their scores on standardized achievement tests rise by an average of 11 percentile points, compared to students who are not exposed. SEL-trained students also exhibit improvements in class behavior and a decrease in anxiety, depression, and other forms of emotional distress. The value of getting students to understand and deal with their own emotions cannot be overstated. Studies show that students in SEL programs not only perform better on achievement tests, but also have significantly fewer suspensions and expulsions, better school attendance, higher grades, and decreased prevalence of high-risk behaviors such as violence and drug and alcohol use. Additionally, multiple studies show that students who develop emotional bonds with their classmates and with teachers who have high expectations adopt a positive attitude toward academic achievement, learning, and school in general. Students in SEL training also exhibit less disruptive behavior and a greater ability to concentrate in the classroom. Some in Congress are moving to enthrone SEL in educational law. Representatives Dale Kildee (D- MI), Tim Ryan (D-OH), and Judy Biggert (R-IL) have introduced the Academic, Social and Emotional Learning Act of 2009, H.R. 4223, to the House of Representatives in an effort to get SEL standards included in the reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act. Ryan sees SEL as “a force multiplier” that has tremendous potential to inspire broad-based change. “You get the teachers, you get the parents, you get the students, you create an environment, you create a community, you create success, you create the kind of compassionate society that we all want,” he said at a forum organized by CASEL. “I'm completely on board.” He secured a grant to implement comprehensive SEL curricula in three school districts in his home state of Ohio. "These are learned skills. Children can have huge challenges, but when you help them learn how to handle them, you have a chance. - Secretary of Education Arne Duncan --- Euc Testimonial Kaylyn Grossman Woo hoo, my suggies love you! --- Verizon Manage Friends & Family Scotto 9163629077 9163884848 Shannon (I assume) me 5592695419 Gloria --- 06:42 PP = 2357 -41 1SC +9 orders yesterday (free branch sale) --- Mary Beth Wells Hour "Reach out, reach deep and talk about topics of substance." Can I ask you a question? I'm curious, what inspired you to have me on the show... what does Emotional Intelligence mean to you? Q's: - What is EQ? - It just helps you feel better, right? - How do I learn more? Links FB: MattPerelstein / NewDirectionsWorkshop / EQRocks T: LI: YT: --- LI-EIN 24/1 apparently, nobody is approving new members but me... which is fine... I like it. I wonder why Josh doesn't like it. --- "Life is mind-made" - Dr. Chris Eisenbarth EQ = People smarts. - Sum up EQ I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and actions, and that gives me power and control over my life! - Six word memoirs clueless pain --> persistent healing --> share successes! - Matt's EQ Stuff --- 08:30 Josh, Yo Josh, Hope your trip is going well! Feedback, please... If there's any link in a new discussion request, I usually send these to Promotions (or, if off-topic, delete it). However, when it's written by 6Sec folks like Susan and Melissa then they get special treatment into the big board... agreed? What happened to the Million Signature Campaign -- can we promote it to our group? I could write a post with the link to www.Feel.org, and you could include it in an email to all. I love approving newbies and checking out who they are, and I try get to it at least twice a day. The caliber of people we are attracting is truly amazing... yay us! Thanks. Hope your trip is going well. - Matt --- (not sent) p.s. - We discussed a Navigating Emotions class. I'm working on it... --- 08:31 Yo, Marshall. Let's get back on the video project! What do you need from me to get rollin'? Thanks. --- 08:33 appt for North Coast Tire to diagnose heater prob next Friday, 10/19, 9am 1/2 labor --- 08:33 Hey there! (Debbie Pacheco) How'z it going for you guys, now that you're home? Good, I hope. Hey, I was never able to run your credit card for ND. Would you go to this page, and go thru the Sign-up process, please... it's still set to the discounted price of $299. Thanks. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/signup So, when's our first class in Fort Collins? How about March, or May? We just scheduled a (1st) class in the Bay area for my birthday, April 5! Let's do it. - Matt --- Index of /audio http://www.eqrocks.com/audio/ Parent Directory BelieveInYourFairytaleLIVE_2012-06-26.mp3 CreativeMojoLIVE_2012-06-13.mp3 PayingitForwardLIVE_2012-05-23.mp3 --- 08:50 Matt Perelstein • clueless pain --> persistent healing --> share successes! --- 08:51 Employers want "Emotional Intelligence" http://www.thewisejobsearch.com/2012/08/employers-want-intelligence.html#.UG996TPsIOA.facebook Emotional Intelligence is a term heard often these days. Books on leadership discuss it, personality assessments address it, and occasionally employers will mention it when they are evaluating potential new hires or promotions. What is Emotional Intelligence, and how do you get it and demonstrate that you have it? Good question… here are some observations… Wikipedia describes Emotional Intelligence as: Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. Generally, it’s being able to correctly perceive and respond appropriately to the underlying emotions of the people you come in contact to. So why does this matter in a job interview? Often times, someone with strong Emotional Intelligence (EI) is perceived to have very strong communication skills, or to be “quick” or ‘“on the ball”. Since they can often understand what’s really being conveyed by the person they’re talking to beyond the words that are spoken, they can respond in a way that addresses more than what’s been articulated. They are perceived to “get it” faster than someone with low EI. Any employer would like to hire someone that’s quick to understand and effectively communicate and address concerns with others. So how do you get EI? For some people it’s innate. It may be a natural part of their personality, or something they’ve learned through their upbringing and their family dynamics. However, it is something that can be learned and developed whether you already have it or not. It primarily comes down to effective listening and observation! Too often, people don’t really listen to the people they are conversing with. They are more preoccupied with what they are going to say next, rather than paying close attention to what the other person is saying, or how they are expressing themselves with their body language. Listening, not only to their words, but also to their voice inflections, their boldness or uncertainty, their comfort or irritation, or other aspects of their tone. Observing, not only their lips, but their stance and posture, evidence of stress or anxiousness, looks of concern, joy, curiosity, anger, caring, or boredom. Paying attention to all these things and more can give clues about the persons interest, concern, or other aspects of the conversation. When their voice and body language don’t seem to match their words, it’s evidence that there are other things going on in the background. Being willing to ask about and address those additional issues will make you much more effective in getting to the root of a problem or persuading others to your point of view. If you want a potential employer, a current co-worker or boss, or a friend, child, or spouse to perceive you as “getting it”, learn, develop, and demonstrate a high degree of Emotional Intelligence. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results. --- ND Testimonial - Glori Healthy anger is WONDERFUL! Unhealthy anger is devastating. I'm excited my life and it's not what I can see on the outside or what I'm doing that's exciting. It's the insights that I'm having internally. I'm so glad I have EQ cuz if I didn't I'd be defending myself and lashing out but I don't want to put out hate to people I love or to the world in general. Thanks Julie and Matt for validating what I'm doing by sharing my journey is what connects me to other people in a positive way. My childhood make me think me sharing my vulnerability only lead to getting hurt. ND teaches that belief is false. I'm SO grateful for all you guys. I hope u all have a great week cuz I know I'm going to have an awesome week. I love u ND family. --- Euc Testimonial everyone else that has used your product says their little fuzzybutts love the leaves and branches --- Tom F. --- The bible read aloud, by version, book and chapter http://www.biblegateway.com/audio/mclean/kjv/Eph.4.26 read by Max McLean (beautiful voice!) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A26&version=KJV 12:17 FB-ND GOOD NEWS! We just added an ND class in the north SF Bay area on my next birthday, April 5-7, 2013! I'm excited to reach a different audience and bring EQ to the Bay (much needed). (...and I may be nuts, but I can't think of a better birthday present!) FB-NDG Matt Perelstein "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." - Ephesians 4:26, King James Version (KJV). Here's more Ephesians ... Neither shall ye give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no more. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil-speaking be put away from you. With all malice. Be ye kind, one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God hath forgiven you. a few seconds ago · Like --- ND Testimonial Michelle Pauls 12:46pm Oct 13 Acknowledging my anger has made me a stronger, happier, healthier woman. Yea healthy anger!!!! --- 12:30 - 1:15 LBL Off to Ukiah to play racquetball with Lisa, Jack and Brandi(!) PKP's going to go shopping. her car woohoo! 3:30 - 5:30 guys vs. girls we won, barely, 3 games to 2. super fun, and we all really appreciated playing again! (neglected to take a pic of us, tho) to Buckhorn in Boonville with J and B buffalo burger and boont, yum! they paid ($120) home watched end of NYY lose game 1, 2nd level playoffs Derek Jeter, their leader and captain, broke his ankle, out for season pause on couch --- 10.14 01:15 up, nibble, change shirts (1 off, 3 on) espn, beginning of Charlie's Angels - Cameron Diaz, Lucy Lui and Drew Barrymore here 02:06 ND Testimonial Kelly Sallinen Anger has helped me tremendously. It seems to give me more power to help the process of letting it go sooner than later. It has made me a better person to myself. I now can honestly say “I love me” I’m no longer mad at me. I praise myself and not put myself down. Melann I recommend ND because of what it did for me. mcp testimonial euc testimonial Shirley Smith Matt is such a SUPER guy!!! --- 02:57 Sugar gliders and birds LOVE fresh Eucalyptus! Never sprayed, all natural leaves, chew sticks, branches, perches, bark and FREE seeds. Try a Starter pack today! http://EucProducts.com About: Matt Perelstein with his wife, kids and grandkids, moved from Sacramento to the coast of Northern California and found property that is literally covered with trees: redwoods, firs and Eucalyptus. We then found out, kinda by accident, that pet birds and sugar gliders LOVE Eucs (until then, we had just burned our eucs as they are also make great firewood). Company Overview: Now, 7 years later, over 1,000 pet owners have placed orders for fresh eucalyptus, we do a bit of wholesale/drop-shipping trade, and we even provide Eucs to a few zoos, rescue operations and breeders across the US, and beyond! We can't live off it, but it's been a wonderful side-business, making peeps and pets happy, Eucalyptusly. Birds like 'em, and sugar gliders go bonkers over Eucalyptus -- so it's been fun! Description: We sell Eucs by the pound, so you can mix and match whatever part of the Eucs you want -- branches, leaves, chew sticks, seed pods or bark! Just order the poundage you want (1/2, 1, 2, or 5 lbs), let me know what you'd like me to cut, and boom, it's yours! If questions, write or call me. Here are the choices: Branches: up to 6' long and up to 3" thick - beautiful smooth 'skin' (bark) that pets love to chew on and thru - with or without leaves on - mostly straight - hard and beautiful! - (in my opinion, branches are the best 'deal', as they include most everything described below) Leaves: Types - Oval-shaped Leaves: new growth, small trees or lower on the tree (and easier for me to reach), grayish-green, varying shapes, smelll great -- or -- - Banana-shaped Leaves: same trees, but higher up, more mature, on taller trees, more water content, beautiful solid green coloring, consistent half-moon shape Age - Fresh Cut Leaves: I hunt 'em, cut 'em and bag 'em on the same day or at worst the next day, they're supple, colorful, connected by thin, flexible-to-rigid branch-material, in sprigs of 2-12 - Dried Leaves: Aged at least a few months, crisp, super-light weight, used for potpourri, medicinal purposes (boiled, vaporized, in dog/cat bed, etc.), and aroma/massage therapy. I include at least 2 dried leaves at the bottom of every bag of fresh, so you can try 'em out -- the aroma is so pleasant. It turns out that gliders and birds actually prefer their Euc leaves and/or branches after they've dried. Chew Sticks: - These are cut from the small, connecting branches in between the leaves. They are usually 4-8" long, thin, clean, straight and leaf-less. They're very light, so gliders and birds can easily lift, carry, play and build with them. Seeds and Seed Pods: - Seeds: FREE seeds with any order (just ask), for planting, indoors (I'll send planting instructions, too). Trim 'em and feed 'em to your pet(s) as the trees grow, or try putting them outside. If they can survive your climate, you could put me outta business! :) - Seed Pods: (aka Buttons, nuts, lunar landers). 1"-2" diameter, acorn-like shell that houses 10-40 tiny seeds. Some gliders and birds like them, and they help keep fleas away from dogs and cats. Happy to throw some in for you, if you wanna try them. Bark: - Euc Bark: comes off the trees in long, thick strips. Some sugar gliders like to chew on fresh bark... they tend to shred it. --- Monthly Subscriptions: - We can also provide Eucs to you automatically, every month, so your little friends never go without! 1/2, 1, 2, 5 pounds of branches, leaves, chew sticks or any mixture you want... change your mix any time or every time. Want 'em more or less often, write or call. HINT: Ordering a subscription is the cheapest way to buy Eucs... free shipping... cancel any time thru your PayPal account. ("betcha can't get just one!") Mission: Helping pet owners enjoy their pets by providing something the pets enjoy -- wonderful, safe, fresh Eucalyptus! Founded: 2005 Awards: Our best reward are happy testimonials and repeat customers -- and we're blessed to have plenty of both! Products: Any part of the mighty Eucalyptus: - Fresh leaves, chew sticks, branches and perches! - Dried leaves and branches (which make your home smell amazing when burned or boiled!) - Seed pods (aka buttons or gum nuts) - FREE seeds with any order (just ask, planting instructions included). - Bark, mulch One-time or monthly subscriptions -- 1/2, 1, 2, or 5 pounds, any mix Care and feeding instructions with all first-time orders Website: http://www.EucProducts.com --- 03:06 Feedback to Razoo The interaction was handled very professionally. My only comment is about adding some EXCITEMENT and appreciation to the communications. Get started with you guys could be a life-changing event for the user, and a world-changing event for the beneficiaries... to I woulda liked more of a "Hey, thank you for helping change the world! Razoo will strive to help you reach your goals and dreams, and support you in carrying out your important mission." That kinda thing. I met Lesley at the SM4NP in SF the other day, and she had that energy... it was very nice... I suggest continuing that with the customer service folks. Thanks for all YOU do to help the world! - Matt --- in LI-EIN 9 / 6 ---------------- mcp --------------- Never let an unsuccessful person sell you on his system for doing things. - Hilton Johnson --- 03:18 GREAT FUN! (sorry we didn't get a pic) kinda sore, but VERY happy -- I love Racquetball (and you guys)! --- 03:23 The Society of Emotional Intelligence (SoEI) Website http://www.societyofei.org https://www.facebook.com/pages/SoEI/232387744059?sk=info The Society of Emotional Intelligence (SoEI) is a nonprofit organization and is dedicated to bringing emotional intelligence into practice in all walks of life including schools, families, organizations, and communities. Mission Act as a central membership driven association for those interested in understanding and applying emotional intelligence in their personal and professional lives as well as the lives of others. To be an association of and for those interested in emotional intelligence. Company Overview The Society of Emotional Intelligence (SoEI) is a nonprofit organization and is dedicated to bringing emotional intelligence into practice in all walks of life including schools, families, organizations, and communities. - Downloaded EQatWork_SoEI.mp3 hour radio show Conflict and Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence is a key to making us the best place to work --- 03:33 PP = 2441 --- , Orders (23x, so far) from Margaret Ogden, on... Igor Pavlenko 2L 8318 Brewster Mill Cir Antelope, CA 95843 Laurie Ramos, 1/2L round Zoo! Seeds/pods: - Christian Haefs free branches: - Lynn Harrison - Heather Peninger - Amalea Summers - amanda henderson - Brandi Schuettler --- How to Grow a list as you speak (publicly) Fix Your Funnel http://fixyourfunnel.com/blog/how-to-grow-a-list-as-you-speak/?v=2 1. Have an open-ended question that would allow your audience to participate with the core topic you are speaking about. 2. Have a resource (PDF or video) that can be emailed as an attachment or link, that is directly related to what you are speaking about, and idelly related to the open-ended question you ask the audience. Presentation slides, special report, etc. ex: What is limited profit in your business right now? "text your current limitation to ..." InfusionSoft (optional) + FixYourFunnel + Innovation collected: Cell # Hot Button Name Email - Continue the conversation (add to Autoresponder) - Lead them to a buy - Invite them to a future speaking engagement - JV with other speakers - Presell your next book or product - Invite them to engage on Facebook --- 04:45 chatting with Yael Stark in the UK about being successful, financially and health-wise (her niche) IQ + EQ = $$ !! --- 05:17 Janna Halioris has sent you a message. Date: 10/14/2012 Subject: RE: Before you Pray -- Believe Before you Speak -- Listen Before you Spend -- Earn Before you Write -- Think Before you Quit -- Try... My interest in EQ goes back to my time in Training & Development. EQ for me is like a bankaccount. You make deposits and you make withdrawals. In relationships whether work or personal it is very important to make sure our Emotional Bankaccount looks healthy. We need to keep track of our deposits and withdrawals. This has major implications for a team environment. I have been observing this in the workplace. As a consultant I often was called in to do teambuilding exercises. Unfortunately, the majority of times you are called in when the bankaccounts of the team are in overdraft. --- pause... --- 07:25 Georgia W. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Good morning! I attended a powerful workshop a few weeks back, and emotional intelligence was one of its components as well as an underlying theme to the entire week. I want to learn as much about this topic as I can, for both personal and professional reasons. --- 07:42 6Sec SEL Survey https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dFh5WnhZYzRNbGxEeWdTeGpVYm00aVE6MQ Hi Susan, et. al.! As you know I'm a big-time EQ advocate, working with individuals to improve their awareness, education, healing, happiness and success. In the short run, we are applying for a large foundation fellowship designed to create social reform using EQ, so what I need most are #'s... research results... quantifying the benefits of EQ. In the long run, I want to teach parents how to parent better, kids how to learn better, teachers how to teach better and organizations how to get better results with EQ. - Matt I STILL believe that teaching SEL to our kiddos is the #1 best possible thing we can do for our future and our world! Thanks for all you do! ------ 07:53 FB - Feelings Notes 3H = Head + Heart + Hand = Thoughts + Feelings + Behaviours = IQ + EQ + Life! The 3H's are aspects of life that we are 100% responsible for, and some of the only things in life that we actually have control over. Knowing this -- understanding that the 3H's are ours and ours alone -- sets us free, gives us power and control, and allows us to live a happy, successful, satisfying life (or not, it's totally up to us)! --- AA posts Hi. When people ask for hardware to hang their Euc perches, I got some double-threaded bolts (threads on both ends), drill a 1/2" long hole in the end of the branch, and using plyers, screw the bolt into the hole. Then the washer(s) and wing-nuts are easy to install so they can be attached to the top or side of a cage. Screwing the bolt into the hole is the hardest part, but the effort should pay dividends for months to come! Good luck with it all. - Matt Hi. A few ... 1. Be careful of silver dollar Eucs... not that they're bad in any way... it's just that they are most commonly found at florists, but those are SPRAYED with preservatives, which I would NOT give to your feathered friends. 2. We tried offering Euc trees, about 2' high, but they did not/do not transplant well. According to the State of California, to propogte, you "gotta" start 'em from seed. The good news is that, as hotfoot jackson said above, they are super-fast growing (and can get huge)! 3. If you want blue gum seeds (eucalyptus globulus), I'm happy to send you 20 or 30 to try, with planting instructions, and a few seed pods just for fun, no charge. Best wishes with your Eucs! - Matt - [QUOTE=Tangle Elf;1294975]Eucalyptus is also a natural flea deterrent. Having some in or around the cage, like what they have here Natural Eucalyptus Accessories For Birds could be helpful. You can put it fresh or dried around your house and even crush it and sprinkle it in the carpet. [/QUOTE] Natural Eucalyptus Accessories For Birds is shut down temporarily as a source for Eucs. They make theirs into cool ladders, swings and such, which we do not do, but we can provide the same raw materials, if you need some. - [QUOTE=BradG;561003]Great looking ringnecks! I didn't know they liked eucalyptus! I buy a pack from from a Budgie store in Australia every couple of months and the Budgies go nuts eating the leaves. Smells good too! I'll see if the ringies here like it. They eat everything else....[/QUOTE] If the "Budgie store in Australia" was BudgieWorldStore.com, they stopped providing Eucs about a year ago. But, as far as I have heard, Budgies still love Eucs, so if you need some, let me know (Euc seeds and seed pods, aka gum nuts, are free). - Matt - [QUOTE=heather1;519737]another good one is eucproducts.com he has just eucalyptus very fast shipping[/QUOTE] Thanks for the nice compliment, Heather. We can provide most anything you need, Eucalyptusly-speaking! - [QUOTE=Stormcloud;1388870]Tammy, I'd actually recommend natural hardwood branches such as eucalyptus that vary between 25-35mm in diameter if you can acquire them. They're pretty durable and will assist in spreading your GCC's feet slightly. This is important because it will assist in keeping his/her claws in check and the varying width will help exercise its feet.[/QUOTE] We can provide Euc branches at pretty much any thickness you want, with or without leaves attached, including a variety pack, just ask for the size(s) you need. Best wishes! - Matt --- Euc testimonials my Budgies love taking a bath in wet Eucalyptus leaves! Eucalyptus is also a natural flea deterrent. Having some in or around the cage, like what they have at Natural Eucalyptus Accessories For Birds could be helpful. The Budgies go nuts eating the leaves. Smells good too! Tammy, I'd actually recommend natural hardwood branches such as eucalyptus that vary between 25-35mm in diameter if you can acquire them. They're pretty durable and will assist in spreading your GCC's feet slightly. This is important because it will assist in keeping his/her claws in check and the varying width will help exercise its feet. --- 09:09 FB-EIN Can anyone guide me that how EQ is helpful in ultimate success for personal and professional life? Absolutely Saima! EQ provides an understanding and management of "the missing link" between our thoughts and our behaviours. Every behaviour we do is based on at least 1 thought and at least 1 feeling... but thoughts are a "good" thing (taught in schools, encouraged at home and demanded at work), while feelings are a "bad" thing (denied, disrespected, even punished). If we are not aware of our feelings/EQ, we are making personal and professional decisions based on incomplete information, often resulting in mis-informed, mis-guided decision making. IQ + EQ = LOL !!, and in fact, IQ + EQ = $$ !! --- Hi Randi, this is Matt, and I agree with Gwen (I usually do, as she has gobs of gliders and joeys, and has been feeding them Eucs for years now!). Since you ordered 5 lbs, I can send you at least 1 branch for each of your 6 cages. And, yes, the branches include leaves, chew sticks, bark, the works. I'll also send you a mixture of cut leaves, smaller branches and chew sticks that you can distribute amongst them. Try out the order I'm sending you tomorrow and you can see what they like the best. Next month, and thereafter, we can adjust your mixture so they are getting their faves, every time. Sound good? Thanks. - Matt --- 09:30 AA Sorry GG, I got involved and forgot about posting to other threads. I replied to a bunch of them now. I'm trying to offer a 'service', not just selling, as most don't know where to get Eucs, or know how much birdies like 'em. I hope I'm keeping a nice tone. I don't have any birds, so it's tough to think of stuff to write about without sounding salesy. I'm also offering free seeds and/or seed pods, so that's not sales. I'm also thinking of offering a Contest where I provide the Eucs and folks can make the best ladders, swings, perches, whatever out of them and folks vote on their faves... but with the interaction that will require, there's no way I could keep up the 1:5 post ratio. Any suggestions? Anyway, please un-suspend my thread, and I'll do better in the future. Thanks. And glad you liked your Euc goodies. Which did they like the best? - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Avian Avenue Posting Guidelines From: GG Date: Sun, October 14, 2012 7:31 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt A belated thank you for the euc goodies! Did you have any questions about the posting guidelines? Posting only in your thread about the Fresh Euc doesn't count as 5 general posts to one per each post about sales/marketplace offerings. Your thread has been suspended until you make a few posts in other areas. Thanks for understanding GG - 12:26 hmmm... so you'd rather have semi-meaningless posts that anything of substance? I just went to first thread on Welcome and there are 3 full pages of the word "Welcome", and not much else. Is that what most of those folks are doing, just meeting their minimums? If I join in, and say the same thing they are saying, then I'm following the rules, right? I think I'll dig a little deeper. It's tough because my product is all I really know about, and I thought I did pretty well GIVING information, not "selling" much at all. I/we don't have any birds, and the only one we had was a screamer and a biter, so no one could/would touch him, and the household was much relieved when we gave it to a pet store owner. I'll keep trying, but back to my question please... can I have a Contest, which will require some interaction, without being judged on the 5:1 rule? I'm not really selling anything that way, mostly giving away branches (except for postage), and having some fun with it. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Avian Avenue Posting Guidelines From: GG Date: Sun, October 14, 2012 10:33 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, it's great to see you posting, but perhaps I was not clear enough :) the other 5 posts can't be about your product and that is basically all you have posted about today Go to Welcome Lane and welcome some new members - most people say - Welcome to the Avenue Go to Feathered Photos and comment on people's pics - things like - great pic/love your set up/my bird(s) do similar things etc without mentioning eucalyptus in them :) Thanks GG --- If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Insightful! insightful - exhibiting insight or clear and deep perception; "an insightful parent"; perceptive - having the ability to perceive or understand; keen in discernment; "a perceptive eye"; "a perceptive observation" I like "insightful"...emotional intelligence is a mechanism, the results are based on the intent of the person. very insightful :) Posted by Susan McClung - EQ = Sensitivity Empathy Connectedness Guidance Compassion Confidence Power Insightful --- 12:44 LI-EIN If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Carolyn Warden • How does "power" define EQ, Tony? Having high EQ gives on the ability to avoid self-destructing though that certainly is NOT the same a POWER. Sorry, @Carolyn, but I think @Tony's word for EQ = Power is write on! One of the MAIN things I learned from EQ was that I had, and could use, my own Personal Power, whenever, wherever and however I need to. Having that sense of Power -- power over our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours -- and yes the power to keep from self-destructing -- seems to keep people from having to exert unwelcome power and control over others around them! P&C are two of the biggest driving forces around abuse, violence, assault, many crimes, even war, so I "want" people to feel their own P&C, inside of them, without having their force their will on others to feel that way. What form of power were you responding to? Juan-Carlos Perez-Gonzalez, Ph.D. • Self-regulation. Self-awareness is not enough. You may know it is hard to you control your rage, but the thing is not to know that but be able to do it. --- Never accept no from someone not in the position to tell you yes. Posted by Charlene Sills --- FB-ND A quick lesson in EQ: Before you Pray -- Believe Before you Speak -- Listen Before you Spend -- Earn Before you Write -- Think Before you Quit -- Try Before you Die -- Live!! --- 12:58 No, I don't squat about IQ, Barbara... I assume you meant EQ, right?? I do know a bit about that one! :) Here are hundreds of EQ resources I have collected: http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks Then, here's some of my own stuff. EQ Blog http://www.EQ-101.com EQRocks! http://www.EQRocks.com Our 25-yo EQ intensive workshop: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com Signup for EQ Lessons and Daily Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm etc. Whatcha looking for, specifically, so I can know what info you want and need? Welcome to the world of EQ... it's an amazing, magical place! - Matt On 10/14/12 8:48 AM, Barbara Touey wrote: -------------------- can you direct me to some online IQ education? --- LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? @Matt given the different flavors of power, the single word power doesn't translate well, if you have to use qualifier of personal in front of it then I agree with @Carolyn. self control and emotional intelligence doesn't translate well either in my humble opinion.emotional control doesn't imply what our emotional intelligence may say, emotional intelligence may be cognisance for manipulation, it could mean enough to know how to achieve an end goal, not necessarily altruistic. I'm sure psychopaths have emotional intelligence as well. I'm finding the assumption of emotional intelligence used for the purposes of "good" rather presumptive. Posted by Susan McClung --- 1:07 Yeah, @Susan, I have wrestled with that before, too... the assumption that higher EQ translates to higher values and morals... but in fact, we're finding that it usually Does! The more people learn about themselves, and get in touch with their own true feelings, it makes it harder and harder for them to hurt others' feelings without negative residual feelings. Empathy and compassion seem to be natural by-products. EQ leads to Emotional Responsibility, which leads to Personal Responsibility, which leads to Social Responsibility. Of course, all this can be manipulated and skewed toward the negative... but for the most part, I'm happy to say, that ain't what's happening. --- “The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine,forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.” - Norman Vincent Peale --- Doing something nice for myself does not make me selfish. --- 2ish when Euc hunting on our new QUAD!!! Arctic Fox 400 atv it's OURS!!!! Pic: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Arctic+Fox+400+atv&view=detail&id=C62BDDFF9534D356950FED423DE52E2EFEEF0824&qpvt=Arctic+Fox+400+atv 3-5:30 Bri, Jessica, Hannah help with Euc orders... lots of orders! $20 each 5:30 - 9:30 Frank and Nancy over for dinner and Oh Shit! so-so put bikes away RR chat here radio interview prep pause, here --- 10.15 01:53 EQRocks! Emotional Intelligence | Scoop.it http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks/rss.xml Pending suggestions 103 Scoop.it Score 83 Visitors 916 (+17) Created Mar 23 Created by EQRocks Updated Oct 13 Posts 169 Followers 26 Reactions 433 --- 02:10 "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw --- PP = 2695(!) + a few orders from weekend sale: Oct. 14 10 Oct. 13 3 Oct. 12 9 Oct. 11 6 PP DU = 637 +299 Debbie Pacheco, Desired Reflections --- Euc Testimonial Jen, I just use the leaves and branches straight off the tree. You can wash them if you want, but I simply use them as is. I'm pretty sure Stevo & Casey do the same. Parrots love chewing up the bark especially. --- 02:32 ACE Study: Preventing child maltreatment: a guide to taking action and generating evidence http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2006/9241594365_eng.pdf (downloaded) The Impact of Early Life Trauma on Health and Disease: The Hidden Epidemic [Hardcover] http://www.amazon.com/Impact-Early-Trauma-Health-Disease/dp/0521880262 There is now ample evidence from the preclinical and clinical fields that early life trauma has both dramatic and long-lasting effects on neurobiological systems and functions that are involved in different forms of psychopathology as well as on health in general. To date, a comprehensive review of the recent research on the effects of early and later life trauma is lacking. This book fills an obvious gap in academic and clinical literature by providing reviews which summarize and synthesize these findings. Topics considered and discussed include the possible biological and neuropsychological effects of trauma at different epochs and their effect on health. This book will be essential reading for psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, mental health professionals, social workers, pediatricians and specialists in child development. Started from a weight-loss program that found that those who dropped out were exclusively those who were SUCCESSFUL in losing weight, so they asked Why. "patients inexplicably fleeing their own success". p.77 Data and Statistics http://www.cdc.gov/ace/data.htm Demographics, Based on 17,337 participants. http://www.cdc.gov/ace/demographics.htm Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/PIIS0749379798000178/abstract http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797(98)00017-8/images Conclusions: We found a strong graded relationship between the breadth of exposure to abuse or household dysfunction during childhood and multiple risk factors for several of the leading causes of death in adults. Background: The relationship of health risk behavior and disease in adulthood to the breadth of exposure to childhood emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and household dysfunction during childhood has not previously been described. Methods: A questionnaire about adverse childhood experiences was mailed to 13,494 adults who had completed a standardized medical evaluation at a large HMO; 9,508 (70.5%) responded. Seven categories of adverse childhood experiences were studied: psychological, physical, or sexual abuse; violence against mother; or living with household members who were substance abusers, mentally ill or suicidal, or ever imprisoned. The number of categories of these adverse childhood experiences was then compared to measures of adult risk behavior, health status, and disease. Logistic regression was used to adjust for effects of demographic factors on the association between the cumulative number of categories of childhood exposures (range: 0–7) and risk factors for the leading causes of death in adult life. Results: More than half of respondents reported at least one, and one-fourth reported ?2 categories of childhood exposures. We found a graded relationship between the number of categories of childhood exposure and each of the adult health risk behaviors and diseases that were studied (P < .001). Persons who had experienced four or more categories of childhood exposure, compared to those who had experienced none, had 4- to 12-fold increased health risks for alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, and suicide attempt; a 2- to 4-fold increase in smoking, poor self-rated health, ?50 sexual intercourse partners, and sexually transmitted disease; and a 1.4- to 1.6-fold increase in physical inactivity and severe obesity. The number of categories of adverse childhood exposures showed a graded relationship to the presence of adult diseases including ischemic heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, skeletal fractures, and liver disease. The seven categories of adverse childhood experiences were strongly interrelated and persons with multiple categories of childhood exposure were likely to have multiple health risk factors later in life. CDC Office of Surveillance, Epidemiology, and Laboratory Services Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System http://www.cdc.gov/brfss/ CDC Related Links: http://www.cdc.gov/ace/links.htm --- 02:58 Hi. Answers: 1. Yes, it's at http://2gethelp4vets.com/ (and it's pretty nice, in my opinion) 2. Yes, it's at https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks. So sorry to hear about Nina's health... wow... when we spoke last week, I thought she was kinda depressed, but now a ventilator?!? Now THAT's depressed! ouch. You're awesome! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: A few questions From: "Gloria Watson" Date: Sun, October 14, 2012 12:24 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Matt, I am thinking about the aftercare and a couple of questions come up as I am writing and do not want to make a misstatement 1. Is the 2gethlp4vets still up 2. Did the Facebook page get started I would like to show that we have begun an infrastructure of support in our grant. I hope you had a great time yesterday! I am going out for a bit and will return and get going again. Rick’s wife has been put on a ventilator with little hope L I am sad for him but helping with what I can. Their son Dustin is looking for a miracle and it is just too late. Nina never wanted to be placed on life support but Rick decided to give Dustin a few days. Love you, Gloria --- pause --- 04:35 Excellent! I see that you put a LOT of thought into this. Thanks. Here are some initial observations... please don't take any as 'criticism'... I'm just asking, ok? - According to the Summary tab, in PY 2013, there are 2 instructors and 240 students (1:120), while in 2017, there are 156 instructors and 360 students (1:2). Perhaps it's because, on the tab Admin Budget_2014thru2017, you're SUMming the # of instructors, so that the same 2 instructors, teaching once a month, shows 24 instructors, but it's really only 2, right? Or perhaps it's just the label, that says the "Number of Instructors", but more accurately, it's "Number of Instructor/Classes". - In 2017, we're helping 360 vets, but it's costing almost $1M/year to do so. Seems high, doesn't it? - Do you think we can help the vets that much in just 1 weekend each? - On the Labor & PerDiem Budget tab, there's a * next to 2 of the OCC_TITLEs (C12 & C14). - - - - What does the * refer to? - There are 12 OCC_TITLEs listed, but we're only using 5 of them... what's your objective in listing the other 7? - So, we're getting better at this, over time, right? 20-24-26-30 students per class. Oh, I see, the # of instructors per workshop increases, too. In 2016, 4 instructors teach 30 students, but in 2017 it takes 5 instructors to do those 30 students. - There's $850 for Testing Supplies... where did that number come from? - Where are we flying to? - Workshop Supplies are $150/month, but only every other class? - Perdiem costs are only for 'home' classes (no airline cost)? I'm sure you've thought out most of these, so if you don't feel like writing out your responses, we can talk by phone this evening or next. Great start! - Matt --- I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest. - John Buchan --- Gloria Preproposal Narrative Overarching Goals: Using a novel combination of psychosocial therapies, 2gethelp a (501c3), non-profit organization plans to schedule three day workshops and provide ongoing support for veterans suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In the first four studies 2gethelp will perform workshops at several western state VA PTSD Program locations as well as VA Retirement Homes. Prior to each workshop, participants will complete interviews and questionnaires that will measure the severity of their particular PTSD symptoms and their overall emotional well-being and functionality. Also included in the workshops are family members and caregivers of the veterans. These non-military participants will also complete an interview and questionnaires. At the end of each weekend workshop, the participants (both military and non-military) will complete questionnaires to once again measure the level of symptoms upon completion. Questionnaires will be sent out at intervals to participants to measure their recovery and progress. The VA PTSD programs that have agreed to participate in our research are ? The program utilized by 2gethelp for more than 20 years combines the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Cognitive Affective Behavioral Therapy (CABT) to assist the PTSD sufferer to process their emotions. The use of imaginal therapy and emotional processing theory in an intensive 3 day long workshop helps the participant reduces the anxiety they feel and creates a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel safe, cared for and become emotionally competent again. This process has been successful in the prevention of suicide thought and ideation among our graduates, both civilian and military persons. Because of the program’s success with veterans and the great need among our returning servicemen and women, 2gehelp would like to advance the program by collecting empirical data. Data collection and a study of the results will help to determine if this program will be of assistance to more sufferers of PTSD. In addition, once the participant has completed the program, they are able to return for workshops, free of charge, and assist the instructors with helping others that suffer from PTSD or other emotional illness as well. Consortium Structure: Research Plan: --- 04:56 Well done! No changes. (2gethelp or 2GetHelp?) The biggest assumption I'm struggling with is that we can make such a significant impact on these guys' lives in just 3-days. Our original program had them coming to (I believe) 2 week-long classes... training some Cognitive, some affective, then both together, with ongoing support. I'm doing an interview from 6-7am, then off to SF. Between 9-10:30am, I should be just driving and have cell service, so if you're awake/ok/available, call me then. I hope you get some rest. I'm off to do Euc orders. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: a start From: "Gloria Watson" Date: Sun, October 14, 2012 8:05 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Matt, I have been working on this for hours, it takes much time to make sure you are answering just what they are asking. The formatting is specific and no hyperlinks can be added. I have attached the little bit I have gotten done so far, please look for any obvious errors. I would appreciate if you did not change anything at this point. Remember this is a DoD and VA grant and they could care less about any attempt to market or sway. The words need to have meaning for them. We need to call some PTSD centers, there are 27 in the 10 western states and find 4 that will agree to participate to start with. Also, get Michael Brown on board if you can please Gloria --- 08:06 leaving, after doing LOTS of orders and having the radio show postponed a week - then couldn't find my wallet for about a half-hour... not a good feeling found it where it belongs, under car seat, just off to the side a bit I put it there yesterday so I wouldn't forget it! beautiful weather! talked to Doc(!) Psychology Today ad: "anxiety, anger and depression" (that you suggested) and he has more clients than he can use. Wanted 2 days a week, now working 3.5-4... plus consulting for law cases, on contingency, at $120/hour, payable in a year or two. not writing 11 IMS Standup mtg (whoops, forgot!, oh well) noon-ish Apple Tree Family Therapy center knocked, called, LM re: doing workshop there William email, then called New Haven, CT School District job has conditional approval! They're deciding tonight 15-20 hours/week x 65 = same as IMS, less the commute fees BUT, paycheck will be 45+ days removed! 12:40 ferry super pretty/warm out, stood out back in sun, in short-sleeve green Carharrt! 1:33 IMS PP = 2363, nice, AFTER largest shipment ever! -391 USPS(!) new record! >> do sale report to figure $ profit 10/12 - 10/14 only --- >> invoice XRG 15ish, total (60ish?) --- Pd = 2495 changing Federal withhold from 3 to 4, increased check by $23. wow. YTD = $13,894 --- LBL: >> status/progress to Gail in the morning. draft to test by Thursday. --- "An honest man can feel no pleasure in exercise of power over his fellow citizens." - Thomas Jefferson --- As a thank-you for being an Exede Internet customer, we're moving your data plan from 7.5GB per month up to 10GB per month - effective immediately! --- 5:33 zzzzzz --- >> get new inverter for car razor won't run in car, anymore, but it works in the house --- >,orders from 10/15, Karen Diehm on cancelled 10.17 10.2.12 Dianna Miller $29.95 4-2'x1" (seeds, once, no bag!) dmjewelry@yahoo.com 5422 South 4178 Road Chelsea, OK 74016 Judith Williams variety bark seeds resend Dianna Miller, 1L, no bags Seeds: Malgorzata Dosla Sharon Collins Mikey 2' Marilyn Daust 3' ?? to Pamela Berk --- Marin B Wow! Giants won playoff game 7-1 vs. Cardinals! Broncos won 36-24 vs. Chargers! 0-24 at halftime, one of the biggest comebacks in history, Peyton Manning's biggest! 2 choc/blondes, 2 tacos, fries 9:ish apt, first night in new room downstairs ok. --- 10.16 05:20 up old laptop in bandcamp room, wireless is dandy ("very good") LBL, write Q's for Gail/Mary 08:20 ferry (barely) BEAUTIUFUL out. Short sleeve only! wrote on boat. --- Melann and Glori say we don't do Anger enuf anymore. CH defended with lack of ICs/experienced assistants >> reply --- I got excited about maybe quitting IMS yesterday for New Haven, but knew PKP would have a fit turns out, she cancelled her insurance at work and cannot resign up for a YEAR! >> check Cobra --- lunch with CJ 1:30 phone mtg with LBL re: emailing effort letters 510-495-2981 --- Hi Shirley! "Shirley Smith" I try to keep my wholesale program super-simple and just charge 1/2 of my retail + shipping. So, for example, a 1/2# of anything (like a Starter pack) retails at $11.95, so it'd be half that or $6 + $6 shipping = $12. Sell it for whatever you can, send me my share via PayPal (matt@2gethelp.com) with the customer's address and I'll ship it directly to your customer (or to you). ... AND you can create your own customized instruction page and return address label so they think it's coming from YOU! Does that answer your question? Not a big rush on an order as I'm outta town working this week, so I'll be shipping this weekend. Thanks! Let me know what you need. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- To Betsy, MFF FYI: Times http://www.readwriteweb.com/enterprise/2012/10/whats-the-best-time-of-day-to-send-emails-infographic.php Days http://www.ecreativeim.com/blog/2011/03/best-day-of-the-week-to-send-mass-email-eblasts "It's generally agreed that the statistically ideal times to send out mass email campaigns is Tuesday or Wednesday, in the middle of the day." Both http://emailuniverse.com/ezine-tips/?id=1338 - Matt --- Hey Matt, Are you able to be the house manager for us for the following screenings: - Friday, Nov. 9 at 7pm at Matheson located at the Mendocino High School - Saturday, Nov. 10 at 11am at Coast Cinema in Ft. Bragg - Saturday, Nov. 10 at 7pm at Matheson Let me know of your availability. Thanks and see you soon, Christine K. - Yes. --- 5:33 out! --- Marin B, but left 9-10 Gloria VA grant, preapp Rick's wife Nina having terrible cancer, inoperable, and they told her today >> have Joe Blay go see MNB! 10:12 Absolutely!! Can he do New Year's, too?!? Let's do a Perelstein New Year... it'll be so cool, and we can ask EVERYone of the Perelburgers to come out for it... including Elizabeth Perelstein ... who I'm friends with on Facebook... we chatted last week... she's in Med school at U of Michigan (where Dad went, right?) Rachel & Josh (her beau) Scotto & Shannon (his girl) Jon and Elizabeth (his girl, in a different way) Jase, Abbie, John You and Mark Paula and I M&D Scott's fam ... boom ... that's all of us. Excellent idea. I sure hope Mark can stay one more night... we've pulled this off before... let's go for it. Some of us are in the Perelstein Yahoo group, maybe we can encourage the rest to join us, so we can plan this and stay in touch. yep. yep. yep. Paula already checked on flights, and they're about $300 round-trip for us... reasonable. And if a bunch of us are coming, it makes more sense to drive in the motorhome together. So we have choices. yay. you rock. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: I was thinking about you From: wendyperelstein@aol.com Date: Tue, October 16, 2012 5:22 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hey Matt! Very cool! I can't wait to see you. Mark's off work the week between Xmas and New Year's, so that will be a great time for us. How about Rachael and Paula can they make it? Do you think we can get Abbie & John and maybe even Jason to come also? Then we could have a family gathering of sorts. I don't have any contact info for Jason (do you?), but I will email Abbie and John. How about Jon Perelstein? We'll figure out some dates and let you know. It should be fun!! Talk to you soon, Wendy --- Bandnight! Tim's back Bobby G says, "I was born to do this!" At first, I was pretty shy, but after years of doing it (since 1989) you get more confident." - 10:15 - 11 LBL effort emails --- Harleigh Reilly Transaction Accountant (c) 415-686-5286 4156865286 Project Frog, Inc. 222 Vallejo Street, Suite 320 San Francisco, California 94111 Direct: 415.814.8544 --- 10.17 04:40 LBL --- 05:26 >> check out belly. maybe my constipation is not just 'cause I eat so badly --- 05:27 I'm not alone. I'm here with me. present and accounted for. I take care of me. I like me. I enjoy me. I motivate me. I encourage me. I listen to me. I understand me. I appreciate me. I succeed. --- LI-EIN Andrew L. commented onDear All, Is it ethical to hurt the feelings of billions of people in the name of "Freedom of Expression" ??? What emotional intelligence... "To all, So many worthy thoughts here. Offence has to be accepted to exist, whether an insult is hurled at you or not. Is it ethical to insult billions of people? Well, it's not really a question of ethics. Is it ethical to take offence at insults hurled at you? Again, the wrong question. Regardless of your religious belief systems, the response from the muslim world was exactly what the movie sought to elicit, so they played into his hands completely. One man's freedom of expression is another man's libel. Even in America defamation laws exist, so nowhere has genuine freedom of speech. So perhaps an emotionally intelligent response would look at this issue from the direction of 'those things which I have control of'. What about discussing the freedom to ignore insult, the freedom to not respond to villifcation, the freedom to have such faith that a mere insult is less than a flea on an elephant's hide. These are also freedoms that can be considered, and as it is in our control as to how much offence we take when someone hurls an insult, EI would suggest that this is where our response lies, not in trying to change the world. Just ourselves." less… 13 hours ago Approve• Delete •See Andrew L.'s activity » - ----------- mcp ---------------- Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself. - Khalil Gibran Posted by Dan Horn ----------- mcp ---------------- "Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a purpose." - Helen Keller ----------- mcp ---------------- I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. - D.H. Lawrence ----------- mcp ---------------- There are only 3 things that can make your dreams come true, Matt: your thoughts, your words, and your actions. It is vital to the energy of your spirit and the energy of your family unit that you take time for yourself each day to balance and center. The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher. Thomas Huxley (1825 - 1895) --- new 1L sub that's 7 new subs in October(!) bird people from AA? --- Hey you! We've decided to have a Perelstein Family Reunion, and your presence is most definitely requested! The Perelburgers Unite New Years 2013, Flagstaff, AZ Erv and Kay Perelstein's place I'm off to invite your dad. Can you make it?!? It's time for you to meet the rest of your fam! - Matt --- 06:04 MA order Got it, Arren... but I'm outta town working this week (and pretty much every week), so it'll go out on Monday. I'm doing orders on the weekends, shipping on Mondays... no choice, sorry. Thanks for being such good, loyal customers. You guys have been a pleasure to deal with. - Matt --- 4156865286 --- Rutherdale's house sold $165k --- Hi Brad, Thanks for the note! a, the branches themselves last a good long time, weeks, even months, and some/many gliders like them better AFTER they've dried. b. The leaves can be rehydrated by periodic soaking... AND, they can be kept in the freezer, almost indefinitely (we had a customer 'forget' them for over 2 years, and he said they look Exactly the way they did when he put them in!). So, I hope that answers your question. Know that I can easily do up to 3' branches, and up to 3" thick, so let me know what you'd like. Thanks. Take care. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- lbl --- Bodin's for a lunch sub. chicken pesto. so-so. --- You CAN'T do TODAY'S business UsingYESTERDAY'S methods And expect to achieve. RESULTS TOMORROW --- William DeLeo, can you talk tonight? - Sure. Do I need to be in front of a PC? I get off at 5:45 PST. Is that too late? - Matt --- The first message is by design... the 2nd is not. The 2nd one is appearing because it's looking for Outlook. As long as Outlook is setup on the PC this is being run on, the button on the Employee Browser should create a complete email message and leave it up on the screen, ready to send. The button on the Reports form only shows a dialog box, actually two (until tomorrow). The reports from the dropdown should work as they did before. Can you get Outlook installed? It's on the PC that I remote into. - Matt --- Order for 15 lbs of leaves! Hi Ronald, I received your order for 15 lbs. of fresh Euc leaves -- thanks! Eucs have 2 distinct types of leaves; the 'baby' leaves are rounder, greyer, thicker and grow on all Euc trees until they get to about 15-20 feet tall. Above that height, they 'magically' morph into long, green, banana-shaped leaves from there up over 100 feet! Which would you like -- ovals, bananas or a mixture of both? I'm outta town working this week, so I'll cut and ship your order this weekend. They should come via the US Post Office, in 2 large, white, Priority Mail boxes. Thanks again for the nice order. Do you mind if I ask what your plans are for the leaves? Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- >> bring new headphones to work --- EFWIN32.exe \\psserv02\public\efwin32.exe \\psserv02\public\ --- Euc testimonial Matt, You are awesome!!! The branches look amazing and thank you for the extras :) My gliders will love it! Heather Peninger --- PP = 2683 +5 orders today, incl. a 15L ($180)(!) --- >> Elizabeth, did you get paid? Can Matteu work the powerpoint into EQ-101.2? --- Jon Perelstein - yes! Libby Perelstein - No ($$) --- 8:18 there ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes. --- >> ask for New Year's off leave Christmas Eve, so we'll be outta contact on Christmas is on Tuesday --- KRON 4News: $1.8M education low, but 2nd most pop 3.5M for engineers over 40 years biz majors most likely to get a job computer, math and science, pay well visual and performing arts, < 50% FT employment women are paid less than men in every area/degree! --- Oracle America's cup boat flipped and trashed last night $8M, whoops Meteor sighting 7:45 tonight expecting more we have a lot of pictures, but we want more check your surveillance video --- what do you have control over, and what not? What do you really care about it, what not? What matters? Who matters? What can you do about it, if anything? Many times, we can't do ANYthing about things... EXCEPT to adjust our attitude! Attitude really is everything! I don't post I don't blog I scoop I write and write but no one sees it all. not really even me. --- there's keeping customers, and filling needs... and then there's customers who lavish praise on me and my service. nice(!) ---- 8:59 "Braveheart" William's dad, at the beginning, showed a good example of powerful love, and approval from dad. William said, "I can fight" (he's like 10), and his dad says, "I know you can. But a man's wits our in his head" --- Top Discipline Mistakes of Parents http://momshomeroom.msn.com/parenting-articles/learning_memory/top-discipline-mistakes-of-parents/253954834?wt.mc_id=msn RELATED ACTIVITY: Quiz: Extracurricular Activities Overload Take our quiz and learn how much activity is too much for a kid. Read More By GreatSchools Staff "Cut it out. Or else ..." How many times have you resorted to this tired threat with your child? And how many times has it worked? Yup, you're not alone. Disciplining kids is one of the most confusing, difficult and important jobs we have as parents. Research has shown that kids around this age respond to positive feedback. What's more, they barely even register negative messages. So instead of saying, "Don't pick at your food," try "Please eat your dinner." Kids this age really just need to be told what to do. Also keep in mind that they love being told when they've done something right. So don't be afraid to heap on the praise!By staying positive and avoiding these three basic pitfalls, you might be able to sail through the adolescent years with, well, relative ease. 1. Being inconsistent The problem: One day you punish your child for not doing his chore. The next day you let it slide. Sometimes the consequence is no TV after dinner. Other times you ground him. If you mete out inconsistent punishments occasionally and let bad behavior go other times, your child will in turn be inconsistent in his behavior. Try this instead: Make it clear what the rules are — and the consequence of not following them. Then, without exception, follow through. (If you want to make the house rules crystal clear, post them on the fridge or in your child's room.) Being consistent also means that all the adults in the family are in agreement about the rules. If Dad lets your kid watch TV before doing homework and you've told him that the TV stays off until after homework, there will be trouble ahead. 2. Not following through The problem: "If you don't turn off the TV right now, no more shows for the rest of the week. I mean it!" Really? Parents often make threats that we don't — or can't — follow through on. Our kids know it, too. And when they do, they'll take advantage. Try this instead: Before you announce the consequence, make sure it's one you can follow through on — and live with. (Do you really want the whole family to skip the Fourth of July parade?) Once you start carrying out your promised punishment, your kid will know you mean business. And remember: Keep it short and simple. "No Wii until your homework is finished." Simple, relevant and very effective. 3. Losing it The problem: Have you ever screamed at your child, "Be quiet!"? Seems pretty silly to be screaming about being quiet, right? Your child probably thinks so too. When kids push our buttons — which by now they've perfected to a fine art — it can take superhuman strength for parents to keep their cool. But yelling is one of the least effective forms of discipline. Kids don't hear the words; they just hear the anger. Worse, after all that yelling, they rarely change their behavior (and you feel like a monster after seeing the frightened look on your child's face). Try this instead: If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like yelling, try your best to walk away. This can be easier said than done. It often helps to have a "stop yourself" word ("stop" works) so you don't yell without thinking. Or try counting to 10 before yelling. If you can get to 10, chances are you'll no longer have an impulse to yell. Also, leave the room for a minute to regain your composure. When you return, make sure you calmly tell your child why you're angry: "I asked you to finish your math homework before you could play on the computer." Then tell her (again, short and sweet, avoiding a lecture or recrimination) what you want her to do: "Turn off the computer and finish all of your math." --- >> ask for the time off IMS Holidays 2012: Monday, September 03, 2012 Labor Day Thursday, November 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day Friday, November 23, 2012 Day after Thanksgiving Monday, December 24, 2012 Christmas Eve Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Christmas Monday, December 31, 2012 New Year's Eve --- 9:27 Tom wants his computer back kinda permantely and he's been home every night I've been here for weeks go... --- 10:26 Caleb M. commented on -Be a Warrior "I think this sums it up the best. It's a poem by Chief Tecumseh, a Shawnee Chief. It got a lot of popularity when the Act of Valor movie ... "more… "I think this sums it up the best. It's a poem by Chief Tecumseh, a Shawnee Chief. It got a lot of popularity when the Act of Valor movie came out. But I have had this hanging in my cube for years. And can recite from memory. I truly think this is a very good definition of what a warrior is. Notice there is no mention of violence, it is more of a personal "mission statement". "So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion;respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." --- 10:32 What Fire-In-The-Belly Really Means. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2012/10/business/what-fire-in-the-belly-really-means?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=linkedin&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Edge_of_Explosion+%28Edgy+Conversations+with+Dan+Waldschmidt%21%29 Often times you’ll hear someone make a comment about needing more “fire in the belly”. And we all understand what it means. More passion. More fight. More emotional investment. It’s about an extra inner drive. A burning to achieve success at any cost. But it’s just an expression. Just words that we toss around around to mean big things. It’s easy to talk about. Easy to preach. But harder to let drive your daily activity. It’s a big attitude adjustment. 1.It means that you’re tired of screwing up. 2.It means that you stop excusing away your weaknesses. 3.It means that you’re angry that you’re getting beat by your competitors. 4.It means that you are eager to try again. 5.It means that you find a way to get better. 6.It means that you’re putting in every ounce of extra effort you have. 7.It means that you get pushed down but don’t stay there. That’s what “fire in the belly” means. It’s not a sometime thing. It’s an “all the time” thing. An attitude of being invincible. Unstoppable. Not perfect. Not powerful. Just determined. (and that makes a big difference) --- >> bring speakers --- Invoice LBL/XRG 53 hours so far, out of 100 total +15 = 68, 32 left good. just did 35 last, = $1,750 15 x 50 = $750 --- 10.18 00:08 Hi Helen, Attached are my timesheet and invoice for Oct. 15. Please acknowledge receipt and ETA. Please also confirm that my last invoice for Oct. 1 has been paid. Thanks. - Matt --- 05:56 >> For my new home in San Rafael (SR) - Print this! ,Router, booster or wire-extention ,speakers new laptop/PC headphones ,buds w/mic ikea: corner desk & legs paper organizer lamp multi-outlet strip (only 1) notepad/pens - ims? blanket pillow ,toothbrush/paste ,neosporin bandaids aspirin clean socks & undies sweats shorts >> Friday ,car in to NC Tire ,est on heater fix !tail lights ,PS, fix efwin ,MAC ,put tunes on IMS laptop ,load Snagit 9 on IMS load Access 2010 on my laptop ,load Tunage.zip from IMS laptop to PC & 500 Calls ,M&D re:HNY ,Gloria --- wireless 'very good' in bandcamp, 56Mps nada in my room --- +1 sub =1 sub --- 08:20 ferry --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! I am outta town for work this week, so your order will be cut and shipped this weekend, when I return home. Any special requests? I'll send you some beauties. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Jim's in at 09:26 M & Th --- LBL Hi Gail, Any luck with Outlook? When you choose the Effort letter for Oct from the reports form, using the drop down, it now only prints letters for those who have not received an email in october. The last step (I think) is to automate bulk send of emails. Question: When an email is created one at a time, from the Employee form, it creates the email and then displays the message to be sent manually. If we that same concept with the bulk email creation, it could create many, many emails at once and will inundate the screen. Should I make it so they send automatically, without showing 'em first? - Matt - If neither "Ready to Send" or "Do Not Send" is selected, what happens? Effort Letter: prints anyway Effort Email: Will not send, as Ready to Send isn't checked How do we see the audit trail so we can find out who has already received their letters before we send again? Good question, I'll have to add a button to pop up the audit trail list for that month. I think it should be on the reports form, agreed? Also, I just thought that the one-at-a-time Employee Browser should designate when an email has already been sent for that month. I could add a button to pop up the Audit Trail list of all emails sent, by month, for that Employee. yes? Unfortunately, the person who was going to install Outlook first thing this morning remembered that he won't be here today. I am looking for someone else to do it. See my questions below in green in response to what you wrote. Here are some other questions I have: If neither "Ready to Send" or "Do Not Send" is selected, what happens? How do we see the audit trail so we can find out who has already received their letters before we send again? When you choose the Effort letter for Oct from the reports form, using the drop down, it now only prints letters for those who have not received an email in October. No one has yet received email in October so it will print all of those where "Ready to Email" is selected, correct? --- >> find another dentist, on our plan, in FB Mc__, where Jennifer is? --- IMS >> bring headset back in to IMS , load music , load Snagit9 --- Hi Joe, Your order was shipped to the new address on Monday. You should get it soon... like tomorrow. If not there by Monday next, please let me know. Thanks. Enjoy! - Matt --- PP = 2745 --- CJ game me Tunage.zip, 890Mb of music! --- , LBL, 8am Actually, I'll be home so our land line is 707-962-9006. Have a good day (it's BEAUTIFUL out!) and we'll chat in the morning. - Matt --- In 2003, the overall cost burden of cardiovascular disease (CVD) was estimated at $351 billion. Of this, $209 billion made up the amount allocated for health care expenditures (direct cost) and $142 billion was the result of lost worker productivity (indirect cost) (CDC, 2005). --- 03:08 nappage... --- MAC I only looked for/found Paglia. I'll come by tomorrow to see if we can find the others. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Lost Access Records From: "Lindsay Shields" Date: Thu, October 18, 2012 1:09 pm To: , "'Mike McDonald'" , Cc: "Liliana Cunha" , , , Hi All, In checking the list of those we give thanks to in our fall/winter magazine, I again have not been able to find Chuck & Olivia Hasty. Mike, I believe you have a couple of names as well? Matt – this is pretty much driving us truly nuts. Was there anything in finding Paglia or Stewart that you noticed could be a continuing issue? And can you come in again … asap please? This is getting to be very serious, and since our db is very confidential, I’d like this to be kept inhouse. Many thanks, Lindsay H. Lindsay Shields --- 4:06 out --- 10.19 8 got home LBL mtg (phone was ringing when I got to my office, Gail) 9 Car in to N. Coast tire heater, can't help you rear passenger lights, bulbs fixed, housing is $345 ABS, we don't do rattle, is INSIDE catalytic converter, must change whole thing PS all morning fixing Essential Forms, attempting to fix ALICE CVS Safeway home nap watched Giants beat Cardinals 5-0, to force game 6 of ALCS so PKP didn't go To Josh's game they won, in spectacular fashion! Josh caught a beautiful touchdown pass from Tyler They were losing by 23, and won by 1... much fun to watch with Sean, Tracy and Sarah B. got great pics with Josh, and Sarah and Travis Safeway after slept on couch, fully clothed but I needed it! --- 10.20 07:30 up and here with doggies --- ---------------- mcp --------------- People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1926) --- LI-EIN 25/14 Shawna Garcia www.EmpoweredMommas.com Global Personal Development Company Seeks Independent Resellers I am looking for positive, fun, self-directed, action-taking EI professionals who have a BIG vision for their life. This is an uncapped income opportunity with many earning 6-figures+ within their first year. Suited for those with an entrepreneurial spirit. Our product can benefit any person, corporation, church, organization etc. so the market is HUGE for you. Here's a peek at what's in it for you: - It's fun! It's exciting! It's proven to work, if you do! - Start part-time or full-time. - Large commissions. Very lucrative. - Recruiting/team-building is not required to earn a great income. A little about us: - We are positioned in the $65 billion dollar Personal Leadership Development industry. - We are experiencing incredible growth even in today's economy. - Our product has earned many accolades and is college-accredited. Request information: http://www.IGHIntl.com --- ---------------- mcp --------------- "I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I loke most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." - Audrey Hepburn --- 08:36 YES, let's do this!! I talked to mom and dad, and a) we're on for New Years! b) your dates are fine with them, c) they have room so you can stay at their place, and d) they glad you're coming! It looks like Elizabeth is gonna be the only one missing from ALL the Perelburgers in our fam... any way to persuade her otherwise? She said she can't afford it, and I told her we'd take up a collection, as we'd love to her there (Rachel was especially excited to meet her). C-u soon. --- People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved, and people are being used. “Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character.” - William Arthur Ward You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. - Leo Aikman truth spoken is a gift given. Truth withheld is more than a gift denied, it is an arrow aimed at the heart. ------------ mcp --------------- The emotional trigger than begins an argument may have little to do with your present situation, but has probably dug up an old, unresolved wound. "The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun." - Napoleon Hill --- PP DU $927 +299 Debbie Benavidez PP = 2689 -60 Google AdWords -10 BestBuy -122 Target (new jeans, shirts, helium for Sarah B's b-day) + a few orders --- a friend at work has been 'providing' me with tunes, to pass the day here's almost a gig of old rock. https://dl.dropbox.com/u/11409366/Tunage.zip --- switching from PAYTON4 to EQRocks16 tunage.zip from CJ was first copy, 913Mb ?? run >> most important backups All pics Outlook .PST D-R All music --- fb.com? --- yarn --- 10:25 sharon (R8) been years instruct should stand with another energy changes with more we don't back up for most we push it they're not gonna go further pull them into some resolution when they're finished, what's behind it, not just an anger do you need to be sad, time to let it go or cry it out got a trickle of a tear what about venting/procesing that's so magically puts you back to that moment feelings come up again, when you give them permission not what you should feel, it's what you actually feel/felt confirmation / validation remake the decisions new decision now logic, for you dif. logic same situations FOR YOU! we see what need needs to be met being willing to go to our own stuff what's going on for them, where they need to go next it's not our logic that they're feeling. k has so much logic, that she was convinced... but that's not logic, feel it Feel it to Heal it. it may NOT be logical, it's ok it's a kid it didn't make logic even if it's now, our former beliefs kick in not nec. to the kid, it's what you've heard didn't expect it. solid beliefs and marriage it's what you internalized 16-yo who was in love with him still believed acceptance awareness validation allow sometimes its in your fingers and sometimes its in your toes magic how and why you're carrying it! it pops up at the strangest places like doctor's office "Good morning, Mrs. Large" heart went nuts full physical dropped the numbers on the scale! >> interviews since she's been to ND she's as she doesn't engage now, Glori jumpin' in! changes the whole Gay, Lynda, Glori, Sharon one person with high EQ can change the group I got promoted to Goddess of Anger! sparks coming from my fingertips! --- new keyboard MUST have the Ctrl key in the far bottom left! >> Best Buy! --- put music from 500 onto IMS laptop and copied Tunage from CJ to 500 --- Shawna I wasn't raised that way www.hypnobabies.com! 30-35 min. http://www.pgoverview.com/Account/PGOverview.aspx --- 3:18 $46.94 CISCO LINKSYS WIRELESS N300 WIFI ACCESS POINT RANGE EXTENDER REPEATER BRIDGE VPN ( 200827202303 ) Paid on Oct-20-12 $39.97 $6.97 1 $39.97 USPS Priority Mail Padded Flat Rate Envelope Estimated delivery: October 24 - October 25, 2012 3:28 Your payment of $32.50 USD is complete. You're now going back to Online Labels, Inc.. 4"x2", 2 up x 5, mail labels 250x10 = 2500 labels for EucProducts, mostly --- Ikea Emeryville http://www.ikea.com/us/en/store/emeryville 4400 Shellmound Street, Emeryville, CA (510) 420-4532 Monday-Saturday: 9:30am-8:30pm Sunday 9:30am-7:30pm Map https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=embed&hl=en&geocode=&q=IKEA+Emeryville,+Shellmound+Street,+Emeryville,+CA&aq=0&sll=40.508713,-111.894908&sspn=0.008745,0.014141&vpsrc=0&ie=UTF8&hq=IKEA+Emeryville,+Shellmound+Street,+Emeryville,+CA&t=m&ll=37.831277,-122.292423&spn=0.013558,0.014935&z=14&iwloc=A take 580 from ferry after work, and back FREE Emery-Go-Round shuttle from the MacArthur BART station. --- So, thanks for the feedback you guys about the level of deep anger work we've been doing in class! I know it's hard to suggest changes to us, but it's ok, as that's how we can improve (consciously incompetence). So, I've spoken to both Paula and Sharon about this... and it turns out that I sorta agree with you guys and sorta not. Yes, we used to push for deep anger for every student, and if we go long enough, and enough of us are pushing, we can pretty much always succeed. However, we've also found that; a) for some, anger is not their biggest blockage. We say that anger is a secondary emotion, so what's BENEATH the anger is often the key (usually fear, sadness, guilt/shame). b) as you know, it's not the "feeling", the anger, that counts, as much as the Belief System (BS) that's been anchored behind the feeling that makes most of the dif. c) although I HIGHly recommend anger, and totally believe, as you guys do, that it's a life-changer once experienced to its depth, it's not right to push people to do things they really don't want to do. The fellow you were referring to Melann, did NOT want to do anger... as we asked, begged, reasoned with him... but he was not gonna go there... and that made me sad and I told him so. I also offered to have him come back to 'keep working' as he was not done, but no word. d) I believe that if the group totally 'gets' someone to do something emotionally, beyond what they can/will do for themselves, it's way harder to reproduce the feelings on their own, as they believe "I need ND to...", when they don't need anyone or anything to Feel. I hope others weigh in on this important topic. Anger really is one of the most powerful, yet misunderstood feelings there are, and I believe it's one of the keys to healing and growth, but it's not for everyone, every time. Whatchathink?? --- 6-8 Spaghetti dinner at Lorel Deli benefit for FBHS Football Josh there, said 'Hey' Travis (Sarah B's beau) waited on us so-so, but nice to hang with T, S and S.b. --- 9 ND Testimonial I don't think anger has to be the main emotion. I think getting someone to get in touch with their emotions period is the most important thing no matter what the emotion is. I feel like most people who are in ND who keep coming back. The more I get in touch with my emotions and don't judge them negatively the better I feel and the more options I have to make the choices that end up with a positive outcome for me, my life and the people in my life. I love ND and the people in ND. Now that I'm coming outta my emotional shell I appreciate it even more. - Glori --- pause... here. --- 10.21 00:33 up (bella barking at...?) 00:43 All glory comes from daring to begin. - Eugene F. Ware (1841-1911) --- LI-EIN 11/14 --- 01:42 Copying missing music from PC C: to 500 and vise versa --- PP = 2682 +23 orders this week (and a few re-sends) -labels - --- 02:03 EXCELLENT Times!! You girls "almost" kicked our butts, with Lisa's power and Brandi's sliiiiiiide. much fun! I'm here most Friday and Sat nights, so let's pick a date for Silver's! --- 02:14 They made a 4-song demo CD to get people up and jammin'. The lead singer has the charisma of David Lee Roth! If you know anyone in the industry, please pass it on (CDs available). --- 02:24 Name: Celebrating the Joy and Wonder of Emotional Intelligence at EQRocks.com Celebrating the Awesome Power of Emotional Intelligence at EQRocks.com https://www.facebook.com/eqrocks --- ----------- mcp -------------- If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. - Toni Morrison --- 02:3 - 3:18+ Gloria confirmed CDMRP account pre-app http://cdmrp.org/ 2gethelp / 2gh eReceipt Help Desk at (301) 682-5507 FAQs: https://cdmrp.org/FAQ/#intent_q1 Treatment for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Military and Veteran Populations Copyright © National Academy of Sciences. All rights reserved. http://www.iom.edu/Reports/2012/Treatment-for-Posttraumatic-Stress-Disorder-in-Military-and-Veteran-Populations-Initial-Assessment.aspx Exposure therapies are first-line treatments designed to reduce PTSD symptoms and related problems such as depression, anger, and guilt, by helping patients confront their trauma-related memories, feelings, and stimuli. Exposure interventions may include imaginal exposure, in vivo exposure, or both types of exposure; programs such as PE that include a single component. PE is effective for chronic PTSD as well as acute stress disorder and improvements are generally maintained at a year or more. Variations of exposure therapy, such as narrative exposure therapy and imagery rescripting, have also been shown to be efficacious in RCTs. Other effective treatments include EMDR and imagery rehearsal therapy. EMDR assists patients in accessing and processing traumatic memories while bringing them to an adaptive resolution. Imagery rehearsal therapy specifically targets nightmares, a common symptom of PTSD, by changing the content of the patient’s nightmares to promote mastery over the content threat and thereby alter the importance of the nightmare. Imagery rehearsal therapy is an effective treatment for nightmares. The effectiveness of CBT to treat both chronic pain and PTSD is supported by empirical evidence. Veterans who have PTSD have higher incidences of IPV, divorce, and aggression and violence than veterans who do not. Psychosocial rehabilitation typically involves family psychoeducation and supported employment, education, and housing. Data support an integrated, collaborative treatment plan for PTSD that combines trauma-focused therapies with psychosocial rehabilitation. Preliminary findings suggest that programs such as the Navy and Marine Corps FOCUS project reduce the risk of IPV in military couples. Veterans who have PTSD have higher rates of underemployment and unemployment than veterans who do not. Veterans who are disabled with combat-related PTSD may use the VA Vocational Rehabilitation and Employment Program, which includes funds for schooling or training, comprehensive vocational evaluation, work-readiness services, and case management and vocational placement services. PTSD is commonly associated with drug abuse, alcohol abuse, anger, and aggressive behavior, all of which may lead to legal problems. Studies suggest that veterans who have PTSD and are incarcerated or were recently released from jail can benefit from comprehensive treatment and rehabilitation programs that address PTSD symptoms, substance abuse, and aggression. In general, the evidence base for treatment for PTSD and co-occurring problems—particularly such psychosocial conditions as homelessness, high-risk behaviors, and many medical conditions such as cardiovascular disease—is sparse. Of the U.S. service members and veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and have screened positive for PTSD, only slightly more than half of those have received treatment. Barriers to care exist at the patient, provider, and institutional levels. Patients might not seek care because of concerns about the effects of seeking PTSD treatment on employment or military career, a perception that mental health care is ineffective, a lack of information on resources for care, financial concerns, and logistical problems, such as travel distance. For providers, barriers to treating patients with PTSD might include lack of training, lack of time, and treatment location issues, such as transportation in the theater of war. At the organizational level, barriers can include the treatment setting (for example, limited treatment opportunities in combat zones), restrictions on when and where pharmacotherapy for PTSD can be used, and logistical difficulty in getting to appointments (for example, getting to a mental health provider in a combat zone for service members or getting to a specialized VA PTSD clinic for a veteran living in a rural area). The DoD and the VA have made progress in early identification of service members and veterans who have PTSD; this progress needs to be followed by timely access to the best evidence-based care. The DoD has increased the number of referrals to TRICARE mental health providers in an attempt to reduce waiting times for appointments. The VA has also increased the number of mental health providers and increased training in PTSD treatments for counselors in Vet Centers. FINDINGS AND RECOMMENDATIONS The committee’s findings led to recommendations that could, in the short and long terms, improve the management of PTSD for service members, veterans, and their families. To emphasize recommendations that were, in many cases, applicable to both the DoD and the VA and that addressed research topics, data collection, and gaps in DoD and VA programs, services, and facilities, the committee grouped its recommendations into five action items: analyze, implement, innovate, overcome, and integrate, which are delineated below. A. Analyze • A1. To study the efficacy of treatment and to move toward measurement- based PTSD care in the DoD and the VA, assessment data should be collected before, during, and after treatment and should be entered into patients’ medical records. This information should be made accessible to researchers with appropriate safeguards to ensure patient confidentiality. • A2. The DoD and the VA should institute programs of research to evaluate the efficacy, effectiveness, and implementation of all their PTSD screening, treatment, and rehabilitation services, including research in different populations of active-duty personnel and veterans; the effectiveness of DoD prevention services should also be assessed. The DoD and the VA should coordinate, evaluate, and review these efforts continually and routinely and should disseminate the findings widely. B. Implement • B1. PTSD screening should be conducted at least once a year when primary care providers see service members at DoD military treatment facilities or at any TRICARE provider locations, as is currently done when veterans are seen in the VA. C. Innovate • C1. Specialized intensive PTSD programs and other approaches for the delivery of PTSD care, including combining different treatment approaches and such emerging treatments as complementary and alternative medicine and couple and family therapy, need to be rigorously evaluated throughout DoD facilities (including TRICARE providers) and VA facilities for efficacy, effectiveness, and cost. More rigorous assessment of symptom improvements (for example, such outcome metrics as follow-up rates) and of functional improvements (for example, improvements in physical comorbidities, memory, and return to duty) is needed. The evaluations of these programs should be made publicly available. • C2. The DoD and the VA should support neurobiology research that might help translate current knowledge of the neurobiology of PTSD to screening, diagnosis, and treatment approaches and might increase understanding of the biologic basis of evidence-based therapies. D. Overcome • D1. The DoD and the VA should support research that investigates emerging technologic approaches (mobile, telemedicine, Internet-based, and virtual reality) that may help to overcome barriers to awareness, accessibility, availability, acceptability, and adherence to evidence-based treatments and disseminate the outcomes to a wide audience. E. Integrate • E1. Research to create an evidence base to guide the integration of treatment for comorbidities with treatment for PTSD should be encouraged by the DoD and the VA. PTSD treatment trials should incorporate assessment of comorbid conditions and the value of concurrent and sequential care. Effective treatments should be included in updates of the VA/DoD Clinical p.12 Treatment Delivery Technologies New approaches are being used to improve the delivery of mental health services to military and veteran populations, including the use of computers to deliver person-to-person therapy. Telemental health approaches take advantage of recent advances in computing and information technology to support user interaction with clinicians via videoteleconferencing or interaction with websites via connectivity with the Internet. Telemental health methods may be used to deliver such services as screening assessments and general clinical information to users in remote locations. In some cases, guides allow users to self-manage mental health programs, often supported by interactions with a clinical provider. That approach decreases the burdens of travel time and costs and time away from work or family; it could improve access to services for traditionally underserved populations and for people in areas that may be difficult for therapists to access (such as combat zones). Several RCTs of Internet-based treatments for PTSD have found them to be effective in military populations. p.28 PTSD is unique among psychiatric disorders in that it is linked to a specific trigger: a traumatic event (Criterion A1). Traumatic events known to BOX 2-1 DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder A1. The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others A2. The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror B. Re-experiencing Symptoms (requires one or more of): B1. Intrusive recollections B2. Distressing nightmares B3. Acting/feeling as though event were recurring (flashbacks) B4. Psychological distress when exposed to traumatic reminders B5. Physiological reactivity when exposed to traumatic reminders C. Avoidant/Numbing Symptoms (requires three or more of): C1. Avoidance of thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the stressor C2. Avoidance of activities, places, or people associated with the stressor C3. Inability to recall important aspects of traumatic event C4. Diminished interest in significant activities C5. Detachment from others C6. Restricted range of affect C7. Sense of foreshortened future D. Hyperarousal Symptoms (requires two or more of): D1. Sleep problems D2. Irritability D3. Concentration problems D4. Hypervigilance D5. Exaggerated startle response E. Duration of the disturbance is at least 1 month Acute—when the duration of symptoms is less than 3 months Chronic—when symptoms last 3 months or longer With Delayed Onset—at least 6 months have elapsed between the traumatic event and onset of symptoms F. Requires significant distress or functional impairment SOURCE: American Psychiatric Association (2000) with permission. trigger PTSD include combat, natural and accidental disasters (for example, tsunamis, earthquakes, and vehicle and airplane crashes), and victimization or abuse (for example, sexual assault, armed robbery, and torture) (Basile et al., 2004; Harrison and Kinner, 1998; Hoge et al., 2004; Neria et al., 2007; Punamaki et al., 2010). PTSD may be of acute, chronic, or delayed onset. In acute PTSD, symptoms develop immediately or soon after experiencing a traumatic event and persist longer than a month but less than 3 months. If symptom duration is longer than 3 months, a person has chronic PTSD. In delayed-onset PTSD, a person does not express symptoms for months or even years after the traumatic event (APA, 2000). The condition is considered partial or subthreshold PTSD if a person does not meet the full diagnostic criteria—exposure to a traumatic event and at least six symptoms: at least one B criterion of re-experiencing, at least three C criteria of numbing or avoidance, and at least two D criteria of hyperarousal—or if symptoms are not in the correct distribution. EPIDEMIOLOGY OF PTSD IN THE GENERAL POPULATION This section begins with a brief discussion of factors associated with the experience of trauma in the general population, inasmuch as this is a main criterion in the diagnosis of PTSD, before considering the epidemiology of PTSD in the general population. The next major section deals with trauma and epidemiology specific to military and veteran populations. Men are more likely than women to experience potential traumatic events overall, although the types of traumatic events differ by sex (Tolin and Foa, 2006). Studies assessing the role of race and ethnicity have had mixed results but have found that whites have higher risks of exposure to any traumatic event than Hispanics and blacks (Noris, 1992; Roberts et al., 2011). Other factors found to be associated with increased risk of experiencing traumatic events include lower education attainment (less than a 4-year college degree), lower annual income (less than $25,000), and nonheterosexual orientation (Breslau et al., 1998; Roberts et al., 2010). Three prospective studies have documented that externalizing behavioral problems (for example, difficult temperament and antisocial behavior) in early childhood increase the risk of traumatic-event exposure—particularly assaultive violence—over a lifetime (Breslau et al., 2006; Koenen et al., 2007; Storr et al., 2007). Trauma type and severity are central determinants of the risk of development of PTSD. Experiencing physical injuries (penetrating and assault), viewing the event as a true threat to one’s life, and suffering major losses are all associated with a higher risk of PTSD (Holbrook et al., 2001; Ozer et al., 2003). The occurrence of dissociation itself during a traumatic event does not appear to predict development of PTSD as much as dissociation that persists after the event (Panasetis and Bryant, 2003) or the experience of perievent emotional reactions (Galea et al., 2003). As recognized by the VA/ DoD Clinical Practice Guideline for Management of Post-Traumatic Stress (2010), lack of social support, trauma severity, and ongoing life stress increase the risk of PTSD. Lack or loss of social support (for example, spouse, friends, or family) after a traumatic event and ongoing life stress—including loss of employment, financial strain, and disability—have been associated with increased risk of PTSD (Brewin et al., 2000a; Ozer et al., 2003). Several large, nationally representative surveys have provided estimates of the prevalence of PTSD in the general population. The National Comorbidity Survey (NCS), conducted from 1990 to 1992, was one of the first large-scale surveys to examine the distribution of and factors associated with psychiatric disorders in the United States. Using a structured diagnostic interview, the NCS found that the lifetime prevalence of PTSD was 7.8% overall (Kessler et al., 1995). In the National Comorbidity Survey– Replication (NCS–R) conducted 10 years after the original, the prevalence of lifetime PTSD was estimated to be 6.8% overall and that of current (12-month) PTSD 3.6% overall (Kessler et al., 2005). The 2004–2005 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions estimated lifetime prevalence of PTSD to be 7.3% overall (Roberts et al., 2011). Family and twin studies of PTSD have produced two major findings. First, PTSD has a genetic component. Modern genetic studies of PTSD began with the observation that relatives of probands (persons serving as index cases in genetic investigations of families) who had PTSD had a higher risk of the disorder than relatives of similarly trauma-exposed controls who did not develop PTSD. Twin studies established that genetic influences explain much of the vulnerability to PTSD, from about 30% in male Vietnam veterans (True et al., 1993) to 72% in young women (Sartor et al., 2011), even after genetic influences on trauma exposure are accounted for. Second, both family and twin studies suggest that there is strong overlap for genetic influences on PTSD and those of other mental disorders including major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and alcohol and drug dependence. For example, in a sample of Vietnam veterans, common genetic influences explained 63% of the major depression–PTSD comorbidity and 58% genetic variance in PTSD (Koenen et al., 2008a). Other studies using the Vietnam Era Twin Registry found genetic influences of generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder symptoms (Chantarujikapong et al., 2001), alcohol dependence and drug dependence (Xian et al., 2000), and nicotine dependence (Koenen et al., 2005b) account for a substantial proportion of the genetic variance for PTSD. Those results suggest that most of the genes that affect the risk of PTSD also influence the risk of these psychiatric disorders and vice versa. A more complete discussion of genetic influences on PTSD is found in Chapter 3. Several prospective studies have implicated pretrauma psychopathology in increasing the risk of PTSD. In a cohort of randomly selected newborns in southeastern Michigan followed for 17 years, children who at the age of Copyright © National Academy of Sciences. All rights reserved. Treatment for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Military and Veteran Populations: Initial Assessment HISTORY, DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA, AND EPIDEMIOLOGY 33 6 years were rated as having externalizing problems above the normal range were more likely to develop PTSD than children who were rated as normal externalizers; young adults who had received a diagnosis of any anxiety disorder at the age of 6 years were significantly more likely to develop PTSD than those who had not (Breslau et al., 2006). Another prospective study in a cohort of children of similar age entering first grade over a 2-year period and followed for 15 years, those who in first grade were categorized as highly anxious or having depressive mood were at higher risk for PTSD among those exposed to traumatic events than their peers who did not have these psychologic problems; exhibiting aggressive or disruptive behaviors, concentration problems, and low social interaction were not found to be associated with increased risk of PTSD in this cohort (Storr et al., 2007). A third prospective study, which followed a New Zealand birth cohort and assessed for trauma exposure and PTSD at the ages of 26 and 32 years, found several childhood risk factors to be associated with PTSD. Childhood temperament ratings were made at the ages of 3 and 5 years, and behavior ratings were made by teachers biannually from the ages of 5 through 11 years. Children who had difficult temperaments or antisocial behavior and who were unpopular were statistically more likely to develop PTSD than their peers who did not have these characteristics. Antisocial behavior assessed before the age of 11 years predicted development of PTSD at the age of 26 years and at the age of 32 years. Childhood poverty and high levels of internalizing symptoms in mothers were also associated with development of PTSD (Koenen et al., 2007). Childhood abuse may have an effect on the development of PTSD. A meta-analysis that considered nine studies suggests that abuse during childhood is a risk factor for PTSD (Brewin et al., 2000b). Desai et al. (2002) found that physical or sexual childhood victimization or both increased the risk of adult victimization by an intimate partner. This aligns with NCS findings that women who experienced physical abuse during childhood had the highest risk of lifetime PTSD (Kessler et al., 1995). In addition to pretrauma psychopathology or childhood abuse, prior trauma has been shown to increase the risk of PTSD. Ozer et al. (2003) found a significant association between a history of prior trauma and PTSD symptoms or diagnosis. Persons who experienced a traumatic event before the target stressor reported higher levels of PTSD symptoms on the average than persons who did not. Prior trauma was more strongly associated with PTSD in connection with traumatic experiences of noncombat interpersonal violence than with combat exposures (Ozer et al., 2003). However, more recent data from prospective studies offer evidence against the hypothesis that prior trauma alone increases the risk of PTSD. Using a random sample from a large health maintenance organization in southeastern Michigan, Breslau et al. (2008) found that prior experience of trauma does not necessarily increase the risk of PTSD in response to a subsequent trauma. Only those persons who developed PTSD in response to a prior trauma had an increased risk of PTSD after a later trauma. A follow-up study on assaultive violence found that it was the development of prior PTSD after a trauma that was predictive of the development of current PTSD after a later trauma (Breslau and Peterson, 2010). Of 329,049 OEF and OIF veterans who received care at a VA health care facility, females were significantly less likely than their male counterparts to receive a diagnosis of PTSD (17% vs. 22%, respectively) but significantly more likely to receive a diagnosis of depression (23% vs. 17%, respectively) (Maguen et al., 2010). In a sample of National Guard service members 1 month before deployment, no differences between males and females were found in posttraumatic stress symptoms (mean scores on the PTSD Checklist— Civilian version were 26.0 and 27.4, respectively) although females were significantly more likely to screen positive for depression symptoms (mean scores on the Beck Depression Inventory-II were 5.6 for men and 9.5 for women) (Carter-Visscher et al., 2010). Similarly, in a study of OEF and OIF veterans seen in VA health care facilities from 2001 through 2005, women and men were equally likely to receive at least one mental health diagnosis (26% and 25%, respectively), but men were significantly more likely to receive a diagnosis of PTSD (risk ratio 1.14, 95% CI 1.08–1.10) (Seal et al., 2007). Sexual Assault Sexual assault is a leading risk factor for PTSD (Kessler et al., 1995). Prevalence estimates vary by method of assessment, sample type (clinical, research, or benefit-seeking), and definition used (Suris and Lind, 2008). Military sexual trauma (MST) is a term used specifically in the VA and is defined as “sexual harassment that is threatening in character or physical assault of a sexual nature that occurred while the victim was in the military, regardless of geographic location of the trauma, gender of the victim, or the relationship to the perpetrator” (VA, 2012). MST surveillance data collected by the VA on nearly 1.7 million veterans showed that about 22% of women and 1% of men experienced MST. However, it has been estimated that about 54% of all VA users that screen positive for MST are men (Suris and Lind, 2008). Other convenience and small-sample studies of experiencing rape and sexual assault during military service have estimated the prevalence in women to range from 23% to 41% (Coyle et al., 1996; Frayne et al., 1999; Sadler et al., 2000). In a small study of female veterans that compared MST with other types of trauma, 60% of those who reported MST had received a diagnosis of PTSD compared with 43% of those who experienced other traumas (with or without MST) (Yaeger et al., 2006). Underrecognized and Underreported The true prevalence of PTSD in military populations is probably higher than the available estimates. Generally, prevalence estimates for PTSD in the populations have ranged from 13% to 20% (Hoge et al., 2004; Seal et al., 2007; Tanielian and Jaycox, 2008; Vasterling et al., 2010). However, those may be underestimates of the prevalence of PTSD in the military and veteran populations. The fear of negative consequences for a military career, including decreased potential for promotion and perceived stigma by peers and leaders (Hoge et al., 2004), may lead to underreporting of PTSD symptoms. Compensation Issues and Secondary Gain PTSD in military and veteran populations is complicated by concerns about malingering and attempts to receive the diagnosis for secondary gain. This issue has become particularly important in military populations inasmuch as its presence is formally recognized as making someone eligible for DoD and VA benefits. Thus, a diagnosis of PTSD is problematic in both active-duty and veteran populations, and can lead to underreporting (for example, to remain in one’s position) or to overreporting (for example, to gain benefits or to be excused from duty). A previous Institute of Medicine report on PTSD compensation and military service (IOM, 2007) noted that, apart from problems with the current procedures for assigning a disability rating to PTSD, other considerations include “barriers or disincentives to recovery, the effect of disability compensation on recovery, and the advisability of periodic re-examination of PTSD compensation beneficiaries.” Although that committee found that compensation does not appear to serve as a disincentive to seeking treatment, periodic re-examinations for veterans who have a PTSD service-connected disability were regarded as inappropriate because research on misreporting and exaggeration of symptoms had not found evidence supporting a singling out of PTSD (IOM, 2007). This is an important and complicated issue, and the present committee will reconsider it if any new literature becomes available during phase 2. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), PTSD symptoms must be manifested in three clusters: 1. Persistent re-experiencing, such as recurrent thoughts, nightmares, and flashbacks; 2. Persistent avoidance of trauma-associated stimuli (for example, avoiding related thoughts, feelings, conversations, or places) and emotional numbing that was not present before the trauma; and 3. Persistent hyperarousal that may be manifested as hypervigilance, an exaggerated startle response, or difficulty in concentrating. Those symptoms must persist for at least a month and cause clinically significant distress or functional impairment. PTSD is unique among psychiatric disorders in that it is linked to a specific trigger—a traumatic event—such as combat, natural and accidental disasters, and victimization and abuse. --- major nappage...here 07:55 up and get some sh*t done! trying to fix Office 2003 install on my laptop not going well only need Access 2003, so uninstall, re-install deleted Office 2003 installed Office 2010 (from 500) (which is gonna ask me to register it everytime) valid copy, but already registered 2-3x, so it's not happy re-installed Access, Word and Excel 2003 (from 500) and put all music from 500 there (some was, mostly not) 08:20 The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success. --- ND Testimonial I believe that the ND will be key in saving my marriage, excited to continue the journey! - DOP, via IM --- 08:49 Katelynn Holaway Hey you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So, we've known each other for years now, and it's been great seeing you grow into a cool woman. Take care, enjoy your special day, and I'll see you 'round (we'll have to race quads some time)! --- 09:15 Gloria darn, the bio says, do not exceed 4 pages! that's severly Limiting, ya know?! :) I'm 'meeting' with Paula in a bit, over breakfast, to discuss the doc you sent last night and work on bio-sketches. When is all this due again?? I confirmed my registration with CDMRP. me, paula, you, sharon, Dr. B. I'll be speaking to Sharon later today, and now that you've done such a thorough job, I'll package this up and send it to Dr. B, and see what he says... is "Consulting Professional" off their list or perhaps Clinical Advisor might be more descriptive. dave, larry, & richard don't need to complete it, do they? Is the formatting so tight that we can't even do hard returns, to have space between paragraphs? (FYI: see attached stuff I found while looking for other stuff) You said you had a lady interested in class. However, she would make only our 2nd student, and class is supposed to be next weekend. I talked to Paula about moving it back a week, but I don't really think that's gonna help (who asked that it be moved, btw?). Paula wants us to cancel this class and start fresh in January, after sending the new brochure out to everyone. your thots? this is becoming real. wow. - Matt Perelstein (please), and it's Mathew. p.s. - would you do me a favor... could we keep the same email thread going, rather than starting anew each time, so I can see the history of our conversations? You can even change the Subject each time, but it's easier if I don't have to search backward, I can just scroll backwards... ok? thanks! --- Debbie Oppie Pacheco (and Dan) 09:00+ via FB IM Hi Matt, good news on a workshop in CO, I have a location for free, it is at my friends spa in Greeley, there is a hotel down the road, I live 45 min away. She would promote to her clients, this actually could turn into a once a month event over time. I will catch up with you on stuff soon. Have lots to tell you. I have been encouraged to start journeling.... Woohoo!!! You rock! I've been journalling since I was in high school, and I a) strongly believe in it, and b) believe it has saved my sanity over the years! we started our marriage counseling on Fri and he actually showed his true colors with the counselor, by treating me in a rude and condescending way, not happy to be treated that way but she SAW it. She suggested one on one counseling in addition to our marriage counseling. I see this as a preparation to ND and by the time of the workshop he will be ready to LET GO!! Excellent! Sorry for the rudeness, but glad it happened when/where it needed to happen. Best wishes with it all... STAY STRONG! After the little rant, the counselor asked me how I FELT with the way I was talked to, I said I felt it was condescending and disrespectful and rude. Then I turned to my husband and asked him how he would feel if i had spoke to him that way? He said he would feel the same....progress. NICE! how do you feel is a great question, ey?! yes, it sure felt good to know that someone else witnessed that too. I needed the validation. I believe that the ND will be key in saving my marriage, excited to continue the journey. Good for you! I'm proud of you, as you've been a great learner. I think the key is, not to stop learning... Agreed! was the number of students 20 minimum for a workshop? how many assistants would be needed for that size? 10 minimum students, 20 max. maybe 5 assistants would be minimum (but we've done it with 2). ok what cost would it be? How is the brochure coming? Have been sick since I got home...interestingly enough with the book Heal Your Body book, the symptoms I have are mostly respiratory and that shows that I could have emotional wounds that have not been allowed to heal, tired of life, depression, grief, fear of taking in life, not feeling worthy of living life fully, holding in angry words, a desire to bark at the world, See me! Listen to me! Very interesting huh! symptoms 'make sense'! sorry you've been sick. $399 Actually, I feel it is more of an emotional detox than anything, and seeing that list shows me I am on the right path...I believe we can store emotions physically and our body has to clear out when the emotions are on the healing path. Curious if you have heard of anyone else having physical issues after an ND. "emotional wounds that have not been allowed to heal"... that's what we're all about. And, it' sooo simple. Create a safe place, let yourself feel to the depths that your body ALREADY wants to, DISCOVER the belief systems (BS) that kept the pain going all this time, decide if you still agree with those beliefs... if not, change 'em... let go of the pain, and fill up with love and peace, and self-love, acceptance and empathy. And know, from now on, that YOU are in charge of the your thots, feelings, belief systems and actions. Yes, physical and emotional are very linked, In fact, emotions are physical energy. Dave, a multi-tour vietnam vet (Lt. Col.), called ND "Emotional Bootcamp" where we tear away the old beliefs and replace them with new ones, in a short, intensive, powerful environment. good description yep. and he is a Major success story. suicidal coming in, then after he fought/beat cancer and just got married a few months ago! just curious what type of cancer? that is awesome don't remember, maybe I wrote it down... looking... When I left on Sunday, I was walking on air. The overwhelming feeling I have is still one of relief and being cleansed. I cannot say enough positives about you and Paula! Both of you were fantastic and I look forward to the next time. I found my peace. There's a 17-year-old private that has been on my shoulders for 40 years, that I've been able to put down. The weekend was a life-changing emotional bootcamp. - Dave Brown, 11.25 wow just read that to Dan nice. sorry, I don't seem to have written down exactly what Dave had. not sure it was cancer, per se, but he did go thru chemo and radiation... and was totally trashed... but with tons of love and support, he pulled thru and now he's kickin' butt again! that is good news. is he in Fresno? yep wish Dan would go to the one in Nov, to maybe meet some of the vets yeah, I hear you... --- 11:36 LI Profile change Exec. Dir. and emotional intelligence advocate at 2GetHelp.org Emotional intelligence (EQ) advocate and executive director at 2GetHelp.org Industry: Nonprofit Organization Management Professional Experience & Goals: We've been teaching an intensive, life-changing emotional intelligence (EQ) / emotional healing weekend called New Directions Workshop for 25 years now, to 2,000+ people, in 4 states. Results have been significant -- with improvements in anxiety, depression, PTSD, addictions, anger management, personal power and more -- so my/our mission is to bring the power and joy of EQ to the world (see EQRocks.com)! For 25 years, I have also had a day job as a computer database consulting dude, with a diverse list of 83 successful IT projects working for federal, state and local governments, plus businesses and non-profits, large and small. I believe this balanced (tho' hectic) career has provided with good balance: my right-brain EQ has helped my left-brain IQ (lots of happy computer customers), and my logical IQ has helped my feeling-centered EQ (lots of happy(er) workshop students). IQ + EQ = LOL !! Specialties: • Emotional Intelligence (EQ) LifeSkills: Emotional Literacy and Emotional Healing! • Computer Database Analysis and Design: Requirements gathering, business process re-engineering, system and user documentation, database architecture design, database conversion and integration, and full life-cycle application development. • Expert-level database management: MS Access (all versions since v1.1), MS Visual Basic for Applications (VBA), MS SQL Server DBA, MS Office automation, MS Visual Basic. --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack, branches and seeds -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- The Conscious Lifestyle: Rising Above Routine http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20121016010515-75054000-the-conscious-lifestyle-rising-above-routine?goback=%2Eptf_0_*1_*1&trk=who_to_follow-b Routine activity conditions the brain to follow old, familiar neural circuits. Over time, new input has a harder and harder time registering, because the course of least resistance is to follow the same ingrained patterns. Routine dulls the mind by making you go on automatic pilot. Hours can be filled keeping busy without actually thinking. Routine makes you less active and more reactive. I ran across a nice phrase recently: the reactive rut. You find yourself in such a rut when your day is organized around e-mails, meetings, and a calendar of planned activity. --- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Perelstein/members Post message: Perelstein@yahoogroups.com Subscribe: Perelstein-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Unsubscribe: Perelstein-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com List owner: Perelstein-owner@yahoogroups.com dad, jon, scott, wendy (2x), tina, me abbie, jase, pr, scotto FB: msg to scotto Hey Scotto! We decided to have a Perelburger family reunion, on New Year's, in Flagstaff, AZ... wanna go?!? Most everyone will be there... and there's snowboarding 15 min away! We're taking the motorhome, if you wanna ride with, or follow, or fly. Shannon is welcome too! We'll head back New Years day, home by Wed, 1/2/13. Come with, k?!? - 1:28 Hey gang! I'm super-excited to see ya'll on New Years! Let's make our plans here so all can share them. Group Members: dad/mom, jon, scott, wendy, tina, matt Needed: abbie, jase, paula, elizabeth, rachel, scotto FYI: We're planning to drive the motorhome, starting Thurs or Friday. 12/27-28, stay over, then leave Tues, 1/1/13, to zip back for Paula to teach her certification class Wed evening. We also plan on going skiing/snowboarding at least once while there! Looking forward to it. - Matt - to: Jase, Abbie, Scotto, PR, Elizabeth, Paula cc: wendy, dad, scott, merck, jon Hey Gang, As you know by now, we're having a family reunion on New Years, and we hope that you, and everyone, can come! Please join our family Yahoo group (below), so we can all stay in touch, share pictures, and plans, etc. Thanks. Hope to see you soon. - Matt and Wendy 916-599-8597 --- 1:31 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marjorie-hansen-shaevitz/video-games-good-kids_b_1974015.html Author of The New York Times best-seller, Reality Is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World, McGonigal began her talk by saying that there are 500 million active gamers in the world right now and by the time they reach the age of 21, each one of them will have spent 10,000 hours playing video games. (10,000 hours might sound like a familiar statistic; remember what Malcolm Gladwell said in Outliers about how individuals can become virtuosos in just about anything from sports to science by putting in that much time?) Ninety-five percent of American kids -- boys and girls alike -- under the age of 20 play video games. "the opposite of play isn't work; it's depression." 2. "10 Positive Emotions" that gamers experience while involved with video games are joy, belief, love, surprise, pride, curiosity, excitement, awe and wonder, contentment and creativity. Many commercial game developers understand that a game's success comes about from how many strong feelings it provokes in people who play the game. Therefore, a lot of conditions are built into games that bring forth those aforementioned emotions. "What else can people do that elicits ten positive emotions?" said McGonigal. --- 2:03 Melinda These graphics are beautiful, Melinda! You caught the gist of the site pretty darned well. Nice going. A few minor comments: - whatiseq_slide1.png is kinda busy. It looks like right-brain is 'better' than left-brain, but it's not. we just focus on right- bec. people are so clueless in this are. Also, the wording looks funny that some is bold and some isn't. - eqresponsibility_slide4.png Good message! Can you work in... every thought, feeling and behaviour is our responsibility. and end with a CHOICE, a decision, an opportunity. - eqisyou_slide6.png the community is not "no cost"... it's a low, one-time fee of $19.95 FOR LIFE (like when you join a family) - eqrelationships_slide5.png have empathy for ourselves, like ourselves and even love ourselves, it's natural... - eqislanguage_slide3.png they're called "I Messages" and please include "I feel", "I will", and "I will not" I thought we had decided to make EQRocks the same theme as www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com, not 2GetHelp.org... right? What's next? Thanks. - Matt --- LI-EIN Olga Gilburd commented on Happiness as a Subject of School Curriculum Wilbert, I completely agree that occasional burst of positivity are joy and bliss, but sustained, long term happiness is in contentment and moderation. I discuss it in detail in my blog posts at www.olgarythm.blogspot.com Sometimes it seems that the society steers our understanding of true happiness into a wrong direction. I am so glad to learn that people such as you have views similar to mine. I would love to pass the notion of contentment to children, who struggle with being expected to achieve more and more, to be overly ambitious, to yearn for something that is not always realistic, and when it does not turn true, to feel like quitters or loosers. It is great to have dreams, but at the same time be content with what is here now; to move toward a goal, but to enjoy the road, not endure or despise it. Thank you for your support. I hope to keep in touch about the developments of my idea. Best regards, Olga - Judita Louwers commented on <> is the most important leadership quality for the future Beautiful! In my perception, we are entering a totally new paradigm where the old ways " I know how " or " that's what I have learned in the university" is no longer applicable. The way to survive and continuously nourish our life in the future is to shift from " I have been told how" into I create and envision. If we can sustain each other visions and promote creativity we are enabled to see, act and produce more. I was inspired by the "Thrive" movie. With love, Judita Judita Louwers commented on Which is the strongest emotion? The strongest emotion is anger. When I feel angry I feel so powerful that I am capable to transform my anger into a passionate source of energy and accomplish things that I was procrastinating for a long time. Afterwards comes forgiveness to myself for being angry and forgiveness to people or their behavior I was angry about. In the end I obtain completeness, satisfaction and ease. --- 2:16 I have an interesting question/problem for you... A big fan gave us $5,000 to spend on promoting ND and EQ. How would you best spend it? Ok, it's happenin'! We're doing a pre-app (due Thursday) for a grant with the VA to provide ND to veterans in a 90-day PTSD / MST (military sexual trauma) program. They want it in 4 vet centers, so we chose Clovis, San Francisco, Sacramento and Seattle. We'll need Assistants, too (you guys) and we should be able to at least pay for expenses and per diem... interested in helping?!? --- 26 ORDERS with Bri ($20) Tracy and Sean over, too nice! --- couldn't get to sleep for over an hour 'cause my L shoulder mysteriously hurt so bad... --- 10.22 04:20 on coach shoulder is mostly fine... bizarre 05:23 FB-NDG Well, I failed again. We only have a few students for class, and it's next weekend, so it looks like we're gonna have to CANCEL the class for Nov. 2. So sorry! I feel horrible about this, as we REALLY didn't want to do this... but it's just not a quality experience with so few students. We'll get you a date for a January class... sorry again. --- 05:29 http://angerisnotanemotion.com/2012/10/21/what-is-anger-its-not-an-emotion/#comment-694 Sorry, Jeanette, but I very much disagree that anger is not an emotion. Sure, it's feuled by thoughts and expectations not being met, and yes, it's often based on fear, but it's still a very real, very powerful emotion... one of THE most powerful we possess. And it sounds like your strategy is to avoid anger at all costs, while we teach that anger can be a wonderfully motivating and empowering emotion, if used/directed/managed properly. Thanks for the thought! - Matt --- Exede Installer, Antonio 916-893-8051 --- 05:52 Debbie Benavidez Hi Debbie, I'm very sorry to say that we are gonna have to postpone this class until January. I'll send you the exact date as soon as I have it. I can either refund your payment, or apply it to the January class. The class is normally $399, but I had left the link on the page at the special price of $299 by accident, so I'd suggest you let me transfer it to the next class... but I will honor your wishes, either way. In the meantime, if you would like to get to know some of the grads from previous classes, and you're on Facebook, I can add you to our private group there, where we support and encourage each other. Let me know. Sorry again. Take care. - Matt www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com --- 6-7 Radio interview with Mary Beth ... again next week! ConnectingWithJuliana.com --- PP = 2814 --- How To Create an App Empire: Make Money, Have a Life and Let Technology Work For You Anthony (Tony) Robbins http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20121020002118-101706366-how-to-create-an-app-empire-make-money-have-a-life-and-let-technology-work-for-you?goback=%2Eptf_0_*1_*1&trk=who_to_follow-b --- The Conscious Lifestyle: Rising Above Routine Deepak Chopra MD (official) http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20121016010515-75054000-the-conscious-lifestyle-rising-above-routine?goback=%2Eptf_0_*1_*1&trk=who_to_follow-b --- 07:13 go... (from office) 4 orders 08:03 go... HH: Brandon from Mendo to SR 5 felonies and various misdeamoners but now a man of God told me about angels and such. then slept while I talked on phone - Gloria - William - 11: IMS Stand up in parking lot at Tom's --- >> bandaid for blister on finger from cutting Eucs yesterday! USPS over $300, again --- GIANTS are IN the WORLD SERIES!!! down 3 games to 1, they came back and KICKED BUTT!! 6-0, 8-1, and last night, the clincher, 9-0!! damn. great to see resilience, and success, like that! espn radio on phone(!) didn't know I had that. Marin B for an inning, and MNF. home to watch end on TV (Tom's not here) try to work, but too tired 9:30 to bed shoulder still bothering me. wierd weakness/pain couldn't get arm out window to put coin in Marin Airporter parking lot machine --- 10.23 04:30ish up unpack stuff for bathroom and room new/old clothes, toothbrush/paste, scissors, new jeans, undershirt and thin long-johns(!) 05:00 LI-EIN 19/14 FB, 6 birthdays --- 05:46 FB Karen Kelly I am now an Accredited NLP Practitioner. The effort, sweat and tenacity paid off. Doing another course in February 2013 to become a Master Trainer in NLP. Worth every moment. Way to go, Karen! NLP rocks! Here are some lessons I have learned (so far) from NLP: 1. We can change/modify/heal any picture, sound, smell, taste or touch we have stuck in our right-brain. We can take control of our own mind and body. 2. Good feelings can be Anchored in our body, for later use and retreival 3. We can identlify/"empty out"/let go of much of our most horrible pain, and fill the hole with a color, or a sound, or something soothing, which feels soooo much better, often permanently! --- FB 12 Things Happy People Do Differently - from Sonja Lyubomirsky 1. Express gratitude 2. Cultivate Optimism 3. Avoid over-thinking & social comparison 4. Practice acts of kindness 5. Nurture social relationships 6. Develop strategies for coping 7. Learn to forgive 8. Increase flow experiences 9. Savor life's joys 10. Commit to your goals 11. Practice spirituality 12. Take care of your body Matt Perelstein I am happy to say that I do most of these basic EQ skills regularly, and I am even happier to say that THEY WORK. EQRocks! --- PP = 2606 - 305 USPS(!), again (!) doesn't have to stay exactly this way search for (!, so I can continue comments inside the parens, like this) --- >> VA Intro VA bio (paula, too) LBL NewHaven MFF tonight at 5 MFF bio --- D-R Therapy Over the Phone as Effective as Face-To-Face, Study Suggests ScienceDaily (Sep. 28, 2012) — A new study reveals that cognitive therapy over the phone is just as effective as meeting face-to-face. The research was published September 28, in the journal PLoS ONE. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/09/120929140240.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily%2Fmind_brain%2Fbehavior+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Mind+%26+Brain+News+--+Behavior%29 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Share This: 130See Also: Health & Medicine •Mental Health Research •Diseases and Conditions •Chronic Illness Mind & Brain •Mental Health •Behavior •Depression Reference •Palliative care •Psychopathology •Occupational therapy •Therapy dog Researchers at the University of Cambridge together with the National Institute for Health Research Collaboration for Leadership in Applied Health Research & Care (NIHR CLAHRC) and NHS Midlands & East also found that providing talk therapy over the phone increases access to psychological therapies for people with common mental disorders and potentially saves the NHS money. For the study, data from 39,000 patients in seven established Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) services (an initiative which aims to expand the availability of psychological therapies) in the East of England were used to compare Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) delivered face-to-face versus over the phone. For all but an infrequent, identifiable clinical group with more severe illness, therapy over the phone was as effective as face to face, and the cost per session was 36.2% lower. Patients may be unable to access health services due to transport problems, work commitments and physical disability, among many reasons. So increasing availability of talking therapies over the phone will make mental health services more accessible to patients. On the back of the study results, NHS Midlands & East has instigated a regional training programme to standardise service delivery and ensure therapists are competent at phone contacts. The training programme has recently been extended into a partnership with a third party organisation. Professor Peter Jones, Principal Investigator of the study from the University of Cambridge, said: "Providing therapy over the phone will not only help individuals gain much-needed access to mental health treatment, it will provide a more cost effective way of providing these services at a time when everyone is concerned about cutting costs." Mental health illnesses affect one in four adults in Britain every year. Additionally, the NHS spends more on mental health than it does on cancer, heart disease, stroke and asthma put together (a total of £9.95 billion in 2010-2011), with general practitioners spending more than a third of their time on mental health issues. Providing therapy over the phone will not only help individuals gain much-needed access to mental health treatment, it will provide a more cost effective way of providing these services at a time when we have to be innovative and efficient." - Professor Peter Jones --- 6-7 VA intro --- This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Licence. If you use this content on your site please link back to this page. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ --- 06:57 to Abbie and Jase FB: Abbie AndJohn MayerskyHey there, We're looking into it. Its not looking good. Its expensive. We're saving for a big summer trip which includes 2 to 3 weeks in AZ in August 2013. We were hoping people would come out then. The weather will be nicer! ;-} Talk soon, Abb Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Abs, but I understand! I guess we'll just have to do it again in August! You're right, the weather will be probably be MUCH nicer. Whatchathink, Jase?? We'll see you guys in August, too, right?!? - Matt --- 07:04 Hi Maria, it's Matt... how very nice to hear from you! Hope you and yours are happy and well. If you'd like, I could add you to our private group for ND grads, where about 200 of us actively love and support each other through our lives. Take care. Come back to class sometime. Love always, - Matt "How do you solve a problem?" Like Maria! --- 07:42 go (to IMS) --- 10:04 Hi Shruti, I was wondering if I could take a few days off at the end of the year. We are having a family reunion on New Years, in Flagstaff, AZ, and we’ll be driving there, so I’d need to leave a few days early, and take off the day after as well, please. Our Christmas holiday covers Monday 12/24 and Tuesday, 12/25. I’d like to WFH on Wednesday, 12/26, and we’re leaving Thursday, so I’d like to take PTO on Thursday, 12/27 and Friday, 12/28. Monday, 12/31 is an IMS holiday. We’ll leave on New Year’s Day, so I’d need to take off Tuesday 1/2. Since it’s a shortened week, I’d like to WFH on Wed-Friday that week, 1/2 thru 1/4, if that’s ok with you. On another work scheduling note, I’ve been taking the 11:10 ferry on Monday mornings, but we have the Informatics Standup call at 11:00. By the time it’s my turn to talk, the ferry is VERY loud, and I lose connection in the middle of the bay. So, I’ve been waiting to take the next ferry, but they cancelled that mid-day trip in middle of the day, and the next one isn’t until 12:40, so I don’t get here until 1:15 or so. I’m working later on Mondays to make up the extra time. Thanks. Let me know if this is acceptable with you. - Matt --- Pam Berk Sure, I can send you BIG branch, Pam... I just sent a 4.5-footer yesterday. I can also find a nice one with side branches, but they need to be flexible enough to fold down against the main branch, or it will be hugely expensive to ship. Yes, it will dry out eventually, and get very hard, but still look nice and your little dudes can still have fun with it. Your magnolia branch probably doesn't have leaves on it, right? I can send your branch with leaves on if you'd like, and you can snip them off, or they will fall off eventually... or I can clean them off before sending... your call. The 4.5-footer was only 2.5 lbs. so your 4-footer, with side branches will probably be 3-4 lbs. Either order a 5 lb branch off the site, or order for a 2-foot branch and a 1-foot branch, and that should cover it. Sound good? Thanks. - Matt www.EucProducts.com/branches --- , orders first: Green Oasis Reptiles(!) 8x on Monday seeds Shannon Tipton Rob confirmation of shipment: Michelle Steel Danielle Renshaw 15-1'x1", no leaves Shelly Sterk out Nov.5 60 goodie bags, starter, branches (game box) , Friday MAC --- added 605-475-4250 to Friends and Family (for now) in place of FB Home 2: 707-964-4425 --- called in to MFF mtg, but noone on the line. --- 6: out --- ian, harbor engineer marin b spinach salad and a choc, no blonde tom's bandcamp night working in my room on a door laid between my bed and the printer box/my briefcase and a chair, lamp across the room shoulder is almost complete immobile and throbs constantly bizarre. 'very good' reception here, but wants xfinity login --- 80-160 sense of urgency!!! guys are dying to know this qualified instructors will be our most limiting factor intensive training before we go online can hire myself out of that position --- worked 'til midnight --- 10.24 03:25 up, straighten room/clothes and get back to the VA preapp in bandcamp 7:30 'til sent to Gloria, Paula and Paul Kemp >> --- MNB said YES, and sent a 35-page CV Doc said no, but I can refer to him. 8:30-12 VA PreApp --- 10.25 00:27 Davina, Bill Ou Gail, Mary Bill, Davina says that Outlook is installed and working on her PC, but for some reason, Access doesn't understand the ActiveX control that creates a new email message. The references are correct, so I'm not sure what's up. On my PC, and my laptop, it works fine. On the pc that I remote into, Access2010-s01.dhcp.lbl.gov, it tries to work... Outlook is installed but not setup on that machine, but when I click the button to create the email, it does, in fact, open Outlook. I tried to set up Outlook using my lbl.gov email address, but it wouldn't authenticate. Would you set up an email account on Outlook on that machine? Worst case, if it works and Davina's does not, Davina could Remote into that system and send the emails from there. I've been curious, too, Davina, who(m) did you want the emails to be addressed From? If you run them on your PC, they'll be from you. If you want a dif. From address, you could setup the remote PC with the appropriate account name and email addess. (just a thought). I get off at 4 tomorrow and I'll come straight there. You're at 717 Potter, correct? - Matt 916-599-8597 --- General Application Instructions Fiscal Year 2012 Defense Health Program Department of Defense Congressionally Directed Medical Research Programs --- All great champions, most of whom are optimists, have become great because of - not in spite of - great adversity. - Robert Mack --- 04:49 Started new Pre-app(!) Had to be a PI, first wasted over 2 hours trying to figure out how/where/why I couldn't start a preapp it's bec. I was registered as a Business Official, and it only shows up for PI's biz: 2gethelp / 2gh pi: 2gethelp2 / 2gh app started app Info in application contacts (me) collaborations and COIs (none yet) 6 sec? >> PreProposal Narrative (PDF) Research-based, not treatment-based Supporting Documentation (PDF) References - D-R file BioSketches - me and MNB --- LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello all you beautifull people. I'm from South Africa and VERY keen to learn more about EQ from all you experts! Im in the banking sector attending to customer complaints and can surely do with some great tips and guidance! Posted by Burrie Theunissen --- Some of what we are studying is difficult to quantify. Quality of Life Statistically- accurate tools Hi gang, I am submitting a pre-app for a research grant from the VA/DOD, studying the effects of EQ training and emotional processing techniques in the treatment of veterans with PTSD, and I'm listing the SEI as the main assessment tool. 5 years, 4 VA locations (SF, Fresno, Sacramento and Seattle), 1500-2000 veterans, at least two tests per (one at the start of treatment, another after). Would 6 Seconds be interested in collaborating on this study with 2GetHelp (our 501c3) ? --- 05:43 oh no. called Gloria. yep, it's true. the VA is ONLY funding research, NOT treatment STOP(!) I'm going back to bed, for an hour! --- 08:07 driving in the city today, to Berkeley (LBL) and Emeryville (Ikea) after --- D-R excellent wording re: PTSD! http://www.iom.edu/Reports/2012/Treatment-for-Posttraumatic-Stress-Disorder-in-Military-and-Veteran-Populations-Initial-Assessment.aspx --- , 11am MAC --- Danielle, Just order a pound of sticks (even tho 15 is probably more than a pound) and I'll know what to send you. Whatcha doing with them? thanks. - Matt --- Yes, I'm sure. They do want the best treatments, but they want us to Research and discover the best treatments... not PROVIDE the best treatments! --- super late for LBL Adverse Event measure is all messed up by trying to be tricky by importing XML waste of parking. damn! Now I'm on the hook for Monday morning, too! damn. I guess I'll try to go to Ikea while I'm there. --- supposed to be out at 4 to go to LBL but measure broke 5:10 out --- $28.50 parking, yeesh talked to Gloria in Ikea PL game almost over, find a TV, quick! ran to Elephant Bar and watched the Giants finish off the Tigers 2-0, which makes them 2-0 in the world series! back to ikea goodies for room TV case, out of stock and discontinued desk ($235 total) won't fit in car (I don't think) go 80 -> 580 -> 101 have subway and chicken so roll gas in Petaluma, $4.65 (but dropping, I hope!) drive, nap 3ish drive, nap 6ish drive 06:30 home! --- 07:27 LI-EIN 31/27 Shashidhara T. commented on Which is the strongest emotion? All emotions are like the multiple horses in the chariot of a Greek Warrior. Even though they have varied power they have to kept under tight leash so that you can move forward in the desired direction. Let loose the leash and the chariot runs helter-skelter and you meet with disaster. We should also know which emotion is our weakness and which is our strong point and control our behaviour depending on the situation. We should be the masters who control or let loose the emotion. We should be also have the ability to see the situation in the proper perspective irrespective of our emotional involvement.This is far easier said than done. Most of the time our emotions colour the way we see the situation and give us a wrong perception. --- EQ joy - their words, actions and behaviours don't mean ANYTHING about who I am... only who THEY are! --- breakfast and such with paula gave her new vase from Ikea --- headhunter: Is there ANY amount of money that would help you decide to move to Michigan for a job?? not really. --- 09:34 Hi Shelly, Nice chattin' with you this morning, and I'm glad to be working together. I received your order, and I'll send you a BUNCH of leaves, with chew sticks, and donate a Starter pack and some branches to your cause. Did you want this shipment this weekend, or wait until next weekend for freshness? Attached is my instruction page. Change it however you wish and send it back, and I'll print 'em and place 'em in each order of yours. Thanks again. Best wishes with all you do! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Notification of payment received From: "shellysterk@yahoo.com" --- Emotional Intelligence is very interesting to me because it is the root of human potential. We can not choose when we live or die or many things that happen to us. But, we can choose how we respond (via emotions) to the things that happen to us. The proper response makes all the difference in the world. EQ is the root of human potential. Freda M., LI-EIN --- 2:30 mtg with Shruti, IMS will need to work this weekend some --- I am currently connected to: - New Haven, via both VPN and RDC - IMS via both VPN (on laptop) and VMI (PC) - LLC, via RDC ... and they're all working! --- --- Hi Tess, I haven't ref'd this year, but I'm willing to do a few games Sunday morning (earlier is better). Does that help? - Matt 962-9006 --- Soroptomists, by Tess http://www.si-noyosunrise.org/Awards/awards.htm --- 5-7 Josh, Ernie, Devin over to trim the most amazing pile of 'sticks' I've seen! --- josh's home football game vs. St. Helena won in OT, by 1. fantastic finish! josh was awesome... starting linebacker and starting receiver sarah b. and bri arguing so sarah stayed the night B-day party for her at 10, anywayz pause on coach --- 10.27 05: up, double poops (yay) 05:30 - 06:30ish tried to burn branches and leaves, but they were just cut yesterday, so super green cheated and used oil, but still... need to move all and start with a pallet and real fire sticks under --- 06:59 euc testimonials We loved the first package, so we ordered second time. (We= me like smell and fids like chewing, and when using a vacum cleaner I double like it again);) Everything came lovely again. My guy at the Post Office(after having bird toys co I'm calling that man all the cute names and so is he, but it's no affair- boyfriend do not read that) is kidding, that he loves when I'm not picking up package from Eucalyptus for as couple of days, because his work place smells like oregano(he knows it's eucalyptus) I will make pictures during day time. - Jen, I just use them straight off the tree. You can wash them if you want, but I simply use them as is. I'm pretty sure Stevo & Casey do the same. Parrots love chewing up the bark especially. --- --------------------- mcp ------------ It's not who and what you are that holds you back; it's what you think you're not. - Denis Waitley --- LI-EIN Shashidhara T. commented on Which is the strongest emotion? I am in total agreement with Elena about the point that the study of emotions does not lend itself to a totally scientific explanation. The observer, the observed and the observation are all interrelated and affected by each other and this makes a scientific conclusions very conditional. There is another point to the original question of "Which is the strongest emotion?" posed by Jagadish. In my experience I have observed and realised the strongest destructive emotion is "HUBRIS" or "ARROGANCE" which is the closest word. A string of successes to a person or a company will lead to this emotion and blinds or weakens their tthinking faculties. In this condition the person or the Organisation is not willing to consider alternate possibilities and thinks what they know or conclusions they have arrived at are the best. This leads to fall of organisations and eventually to a buyout. Please read the book "How the Mighty Fall" by Jim Collins. Another example is that of Hitler who suffered from excessive "HUBRIS" which made him and his Wehrmacht' to continue fighting in the face of destruction by Allied forces, leading to eventual collapse. I have personally witnessed in the organisations I have worked where this "HUBRIS" took over and considerable damage was done by the time this was realised.I have also personally gone through this emotion and realised that it damaged all good relationships and friends. So in my view "HUBRIS" has strongest potential for destruction for persons and organisations. The biggest problem with this emotion is that it is very subtle and not easily observable or understood, but very powerful. --- 07:26 MFF vote yes for full-day brainstorming meeting, with facilitator new 1C sub 9 new subs in Oct(!) --- new wholesaler instructions labels \GliderNursery - Shelly, Ok, I printed 10x, so go get us some biz!! =: ^ ) - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Labels & Care Instructions From: Shelly Sterk Date: Fri, October 26, 2012 3:09 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Please let me know if these will work or not! Thanks, Shelly Sterk http://www.GliderNursery.webs.com http://www.SugarGliderHelp.com to Lakeport then Ukiah Wal*Mart Applebee's car overheating --- 10.28 01:35 home 07:35 8-noon ref'n all morning at Spook fest --- William, NewHaven I'm sorry, but this weekend got away from me. I didn't feel well this weekend and didn't get much done... I'll try to jump on it this afternoon. Remember how I said this job could be a life-changer for me? Well, I was hoping that this job could REPLACE my 'real' job... I could quit there and dive into your work... well, it seems to uncertain to do so, so I'm stuck doing both (or more accurately, all 3 jobs). I can do some work on your project, but there's no way I can do 15-20 hours per week, consistently. You'd better get Michael involved, and split the work between us. I can do more like 5-7 hours/week. I'm sorry, as you know, I can do the work, I'm just swamped and I don't want to leave you hangin'. Are there logical areas where I can have a section, and give Michael a dif. section of the tasks? Thanks. - Matt --- 8-12 ref 3x beautiful out 8-0, 6-0, 5-0 U16G, U18G TWS $105(!) GP's overheating BADly! --- 1:55 Bri here to work 18 orders, incl. zoo PP = 2791 --- confirmation of shipment: Michelle Steel --- changed thermostat, but it's pouring water out the bottom Mark Teem? cancelled room with Shane no SF tomorrow --- “Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” - Deepak Chopra Emotional literacy is about choices. If we're aware of our choices, we can find alternate tempations. - some people think that spending time with their kids is an inconvenience. For me, I'd rather hang with the kiddos that most any adults... they're way more fun, and real! --- 10.29 radio! Mary Beth: I do like this subject! I want to discuss the acceptance that people have for themselves and also get into fear, anxiety, anger and feel it to heal it. I want you to expand on your answers just as you did last week! 05:56 Jill from toginet radio KAE Awareness Acceptance! Action / Expression or not! accept feelings, accept self! 7 steps [EQRocks] EQ Step 1: Awareness that we Feel [EQRocks] EQ Step 2: Knowing what our body Feels [EQRocks] EQ Step 3: Accepting our Feelings [EQRocks] EQ Step 4: Expressing Feelings & Emotions [EQRocks] EQ Step 5: Release of Negative Feelings [EQRocks] EQ Step 6: Replace Negative feelings with Positive ones [EQRocks] EQ Step 7: Rejoice! about all our Learning and Growth [EQRocks] EQ Wrap-Up empathy begins with self-empathy self-acceptance begins with self-empathy self-esteem begins with self-empathy parent ourselves the way our parents parented us words, discipline, criticizims , got FreeEQStuff.com >> GoodNewsREEQ, or something like that! Thank you 06:58 (R10) --- 07:15 Good morning, Shruti, (IMS) My car had a meltdown and blew water all over the freeway. The other night, Paula and I had to drive to another city, 30 miles away, and all was well, but it took us 4.5 hours to get back home because the car overheated so many times. It's being worked on today (I'm hoping it's just the water pump, but we'll see), so I will need to work from home. This might just work out better, because I'll be available earlier. If Amber and Ivy can get that adverse measure working, I can make the changes you need me to, and we can get it to Youde today... finally. As you saw from the emails, I helped him get his HSD 3.7.3 up and running, so he's ready. In the meantime, I'm working on the HEDIS measures (VDI is awesome!), but I'll switch gears immediately when we get the adverse measure going again. Thanks. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- Radio Show from 10/22 http://toginet.com/shows/adoptionjourneytomotherhood http://toginet.com/podcasts/adoptionjourneytomotherhood/AdoptionJourneytoMotherhoodLIVE_2012-10-22.mp3?type=showpage --- 8-10:30 USPS, O'Brien's (new water pump, $39.95), return movies, mcD's with PKP --- USPS, O'Brien's, return movies ------ 2:12 Betsy Headshots and MFF bios For over 25 years, Matt and his wife Paula have been teaching intensive emotional healing workshops, and they are board members for 2GetHelp, Inc., a non-profit dedicated to bringing the joy and wonder of emotional intelligence (EQ) to the world. Matt joined the film festival board in 2010 as our "database dude", he loves film and people, and you'll probably see him as the House Manager at Matheson and one of our other venues. --- >> XRG timesheet? schedule! --- LI-EIN 6:05 Hi Katherine. I'd like to read your book! I can't promise a detailed review, but I'll sure give some feedback. Thanks for caring. Parenting is one of the most important things we humans do, and if we can do it with EQ, woohoo!! - Matt --- busy day feel accomplished. car fixed LBL fixed progress on IMS, and ok that I'm working at home e to Elizabeth to get going on EQ-101.2 e to M&D and all the perelburgers re: guest list and august reunion MFF call with Christine Wagner re: volunteers for events where I am house mgr. --- 10.30 Tues. home again/still(!) "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela "The difference between imagination and reality is a very fine line of illusion, discover it and turn your dreams into reality". - Hayan Hamzeh --- James, RCI orlando 3 days, 2 nights Carnival cruise, 2 adults cancun, new eng, bahamas, alaska all paid exc. gambling and drinking 4 days, 3 nights Daytona Beach resort 18 months to travel $5k, $499 port taxes paid --- PP = 2633 -145 USPS -2 subs (same guy, too much) -27 Event Merchandising (2 World Series bats and a pen) orders Oct 28 0 Oct 29 -2 subs Oct. 30 0 (hmmm... post-sale blues, but damn...) --- Peggy Brooks 462-3814 personal matter --- LBL MSI fire, burning slash RR cutting eucs MFF Halloween night, Friday at 1 with Alex --- 6:43 FB-NDG ND Testimonials / explanations Cary Parkins Most definitely Matt. Most definitely. When a person actually sees this and admits to it, they have the power. 7 hours ago · Like Cary Parkins I really like the acronym "BS" for belief system. 7 hours ago · Unlike · 1 Cary Parkins What's needed, once a person sees this, is the permission to re-imagine and the validation that it can and should be done. I feel we are definitely NOT ordinarily given permission to do so in our culture. 7 hours ago · Like Cary Parkins The message we ordinarily get, IMHO, is that the meaning we've assigned to an event is a FACT. Not logical, not scientific, not helpful. 7 hours ago · Unlike · 1 Glori Celis Cary - what does IMHO mean? Matt, I love ur idea about re-imagine how you see your life and how you see yourself. That's what makes ND so powerful cuz most people need help and support to even begin to change the way they see things. --- --- spinach salad, yum. 2 Dexters actually went to bed on coach best is paula and spot in bed bella gets the big chair, at the back bud on big chair, out front I get to spread out on the coach or bella in bed, spot on floor (his choice) but if I get in the bed, Bella follows, paula leaves --- 10.31 HH (whatchagonna dress up as?) 04:?? up, "electric horseman" SF Giants parade is today, sorry I'm gonna miss it it starts on Montgomery and Market, 1 block from Montgomery and Sutter, where IMS is. --- 05:01 got an order today, a starter first in 3 days but big subs are this weekend, so... LI-EIN (42,686x) 20/30 Madeleine De Beer commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hallo everyone. I am from South Africa and specialises in psychometric testing. I am also a trauma counseller. As emotional intelligence and trauma plays a central role in my environment, I have decided to join the group in order to learn more. --- 05:20 backing up files: ~mcp's <--- !! new flash drive (luckily, I copied over entire Payson4 the other day, as it doesn't seem to be working at all now... oh, out and back in... workin') Payson4 is also FULL(!), while new drive is a 16. to phone? (not plugged into PC, wall instead, as it keeps docking/undocking randomly) to Online File Folder 2GH All of ~docs, .ZIPped (1 hr remaining...) --- 05:35 Success finds a way, failure finds an excuse. - Josh Group Settings *Automatically remove content flagged as inappropriate by group members. - NO! Permissions Anyone on LinkedIn: Submit both comments & discussions for approval. *Submit comments for approval only (no discussions allowed). Members of this group: *Free to post comments only and submit everything else. Submit everything for approval. --- SixSeconds, Middle East and Africa http://www.6seconds-mea.com/ --- LI-TJOEH, or just LI-EH 2 new members, now at 6! keith, meghan, lonn, me, and a LCSW and an admin lady from ohio woohoo(!) The Joy of Emotional Healing! To explore the joy and the wonder of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and more specifically, Emotional Healing. We are finding that emotional intelligence leads to emotional responsibility, personal responsibility and social responsibility, so It's very possible that inner child work could eventually lead to world peace! To explore the joy and the wonder of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and more specifically, Emotional Healing. EQ leads to emotional responsibility, personal responsibility and social responsibility, so it's very possible that emotional healing/inner child work could eventually lead to world peace! This group is for sharing EQ resources, research and new findings The group will support and cares for its members, providing a model for how high EQ can lead to happiness and success in life! This group is for sharing EQ resources, research and new findings The group will support and cares for its members, providing a model for how high EQ can lead to happiness and success in life! All posts are moderated, so let's stay on subject, be respectful and kind to one another (even when, and especially when, we disagree), and no blatant ads, please. Thanks for joining us! EQ is already starting to change the world. EQRocks! - Matt - Request-to-Join Message Template Hi. Thank you for your interest in joining our group. If you're a 'regular person', and not a spammer or bot, you will probably be approved! If I don't approve your request in a timely manner, please remind me (gently) via email. If you're interested in Emotional Healing -- as a student, caregiver or instructor -- HANG ON, as it's the most amazing journey life has to offer! We say it's the "Last great adventure on earth, the journey inside our own heart and mind!" Thanks again for caring. We look forward to your participation in the group! With much love ('cause that's what it's all about!), - Matt matt@2GetHelp.com (06:20) sample email sent - Welcome Your request to join the LinkedIn group - The Joy of Emotional Healing! Decline Your request to join the LinkedIn group - The Joy of Emotional Healing! Decline and Block Welcome HI, and WELCOME to our group!! Emotional healers are some of the coolest people on the planet! So, let's get to it, as there's a ton of work to be done. The world is a mess, emotionally, and it's our job to teach them. Our parents didn't teach us because they didn't know, and people are dying, quite literally, to to know what we know about EQ, our feelings, the magic of the human connection, releasing our pain, and replacing negatives with positives. We're only limited to one or two ways to teach EQ... we are open to hearing about alternative and creative methods to teach/show/explain/share/experience EQ healing. So, jump in, the water's warm, as we learn what we can, to help as many people as possible. We do the best we can with what we know... the more we know, the better our best can be! With much love ('cause that's what it's all about). - Matt and friends matt@2GetHelp.com Links: EQ -- EQRocks! -- http://www.EQRocks.com Free EQ Lessons and Quotes -- http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm Facebook -- https://www.facebook.com/EQRocks Twitter -- https://twitter.com/#!/eqrockseqheals Scoop.it -- http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks EQ blog -- http://www.EQ-101.com EQ in-person training/healing -- http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com EQ-based non-profit -- http://www.2GetHelp.org EQ videos on YouTube -- http://www.YouTube.com/user/EQRocksEQHeals EQ at work group (46,000 members) -- http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 Sign petition to require more EQ (SEL) in schools -- http://www.feel.org Me: matt@2gethelp.com LinkedIn -- http://www.linkedin.com/in/mattperelstein Facebook -- http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein Twitter -- http://twitter.com/MattPerelstein About -- http://www.MattPerelstein.com About2 -- http://about.me/MattPerelstein --- CEO of USAA on Effective Leadership by Creating a Mission http://videos.ceoshow.com/usaa-effective-leadership-by-creating-a-mission tell people, over and over and over here's our mission here's what's important here's what we're asking you to do. here's how you connect the dots here's what the big picture looks like here's what we're asking you to do communicate, communicate, communicate, constantly they wanna hear from the boss I have a really strong team I was about taking care of our customers even in dire times not about profit, or veterans, growth objectives executing plan great leadership team what's our secret sauce we have the best customers we have the best employees we have the leadership that transcends everything we do. Scoop.it USAA President & CEO, Josue (Joe) Robles defines the greatest lesson CEOs can learn from the military, and how effective leaders begin by creating a mission for their business. He shared the leadership style that has lead to his success.: "We tell people, over and over and over here's our mission here's what's important here's what we're asking you to do. here's how you connect the dots here's what the big picture looks like here's what we're asking you to do communicate, communicate, communicate, constantly they wanna hear from the boss." --- "Wisdom is seeing the similarities where are differences and differences where are similarities." “The question is not what you look at, but what you see”. - Henry David Thoreau Silence please, unless you have something important to say. - VENKATESH KANGOVI NARASIMHAMURTHY “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” - Henry David Thoreau --- 10:15 IMS Paycheck 2012-10-31 Med-Vantage, Inc 10/16/2012 10/31/2012 $2518.97 682902 --- working on making code table changes to the CC Adverse Events measures and the data is ready for the PCP Engagement Observation events, so I'll be running those this afternoon for validation --- suckers and lipstick for Diana to pick up for / PR kiddos -- 3:20 LBL Mary, Gail, Davina Ok, I just got off the phone with Davina, after working with her, and James, much of the day. We're LIVE! She's off to notify the Budget Analysts to mark ReadyToSend for each employee they want an effort email sent to. We also added a new feature today so that the Budget Analysts can enter a customized comment for each employee, and it will show up in the email, between the body and the efforts. We have a bit of cleanup to do, and a few more features to make it slick(er) and cool(er), but I think it's all ready. Let me know if any problems and/or what's next. - Matt --- 5:30+ at MFF office, after Halloween Party-ish circus/silks/trapeze event There was a friggin' circus RIGHT outside the front door of the new office, so Christine W and I 'manned' the office. gave out candy and wine... and postcards re: Fierce Green Fire... most fun! a few dif. kids thanked me, profusely, for handing out candy. they didn't even want any, they just thought it was cool that I was standing there giving something away. People are starting to realize the amazing benefits to YOU for giving to others. --- LI-EIN Brian Wax We speak and play nicely together in this group. There is no need to be that harsh. I deleted your last 2 posts... please don't talk that again. Thanks. - Matt - Shashidhara T. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "I did like Raj's clarity of thought, in the goals he has set for himself, very much and I wish him all he best. ... "more… "I did like Raj's clarity of thought, in the goals he has set for himself, very much and I wish him all he best. However regarding "Soft Skills", in my opinion, are not not so soft as the word implies. if the person does not have the desirable skills, They are the toughest to handle and toughest to develop. The person's upbringing, the social melee in which he has grown up, his friends circle, etc influence his thinking habits he has developed, and requites humongous efforts to change in the required direction Such changes require a very strong determination and tremendous amount of patience on the part of the Change Manager who aims at this. " - Linda R. commented on Is EQ more important than IQ? What are your thoughts? "Doing the right thing can be difficult, even painful. That is when Me Q steps in. It is better to stop and consider your decision if ... "more… "Doing the right thing can be difficult, even painful. That is when Me Q steps in. It is better to stop and consider your decision if you are at a cross road. Emotional decisions will make you feel good at the time, but what are the long-term consequences? On the other hand, doing the right thing will always grant you peace within yourself, It is really wonderful when heart and mind are in synch. " - Linda R. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hi to everyone! It is so refreshing to be among people discussing feelings and emotions! . I am not degreed as most of you are, but do ... "more… "Hi to everyone! It is so refreshing to be among people discussing feelings and emotions! . I am not degreed as most of you are, but do have many years of life experience behind me. I have learned a lot from observation and communication with people. The more years that pass, the more I seem to want to learn. Everyone has something to teach us. We can be awakened to a goal, or sometimes we are able to see where we don't want to be. I have always been a nurturer and encourager, because I am so aware of how people feel. It has come to my attention that much of that nurturing and encouraging should have been more directed at myself. I have alot of insights to share, but am now at this site to learn and share and grow as much as I can. I am going through a big change in my life right now and am so happy to see so many positive and encouraging comments. You guys are my mentors and are bringing so much into my life. You all speak from your hearts, which is another word for truth. It is an honor to read your words. " - Kelly D. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hi there my Name is Kelly Dallas. I am new to this group. I work in the Renewables sector and find that as I manage a team of guys and ... "more… "Hi there my Name is Kelly Dallas. I am new to this group. I work in the Renewables sector and find that as I manage a team of guys and interact with many people in different companies and cultures that undertanding the EQ of my team and others has been vital to both the team success and successful relationships with suppliers. - Caleb M. commented on What role does coaching play for individuals,organizations and society? WHAT DOES GREAT COACHING LOOK LIKE? "What is a great coach? Good question. I get a fairly good exposure to this on a regular basis. I coach my daughters Select Soccer team, ... "more… "What is a great coach? Good question. I get a fairly good exposure to this on a regular basis. I coach my daughters Select Soccer team, and my sons Rec. team. So I get a good cross section of types and styles. At the Select level you see a huge variance of styles. I would venture to say that Ego plays lot into they Coaches style. You see everything from the hyper aggressive to the extremely mellow. And surprisingly enough, you can see these traits carry over to the team and the way they play. The more aggressive and antagonistic the coach is. The more "dirty" the team plays. The more mellow and even keeled a coach is the more the team is focused and ready to do work. A Great Coach will push hard in practice, demand focus and attention to detail. When it comes to game time, if you have done a good job as a coach you really should only be worried about strategies and rotating players in and out. You should have done a good job preparing your team to handle anything thrown your way. The Team knows what they need to do and only on rare occasions should there be any tactical communication to the filed. When you do communicate it should only be for support and encouragement. Too many times I witness Coaches that try to exert to much influence and control to the field and it only ends up exciting the players and putting undue stress upon them in already stressful times. The players already know what needs to be done. You shouldn't have to yell at them to get them to do it. When you do it will only breed contempt and turn people off to the sport. Too many times I see coaches yelling at refs for "bad" calls. Or just on calls that don't go their way. I always tell my girls "The Ref is going to his job and call his game. Your job is to play yours." With all that being said, I think a great coach is a person that provides guidance and mentor-ship. Someone that can keep you grounded and focused in times of stress. A person that can sympathize with your view point while at the same time offering a different one in a non-confrontational manner. When motivation is needed, a good Coach can supply. It doesn't really matter what field it is. If you can communicate and help people see their strengths, and their weaknesses. If you can help facilitate a candid talk on these subjects with out judgement or bias. Your job is done. No one ever wakes up in the morning and wants to do a horrible job. If you're a good Coach, you can help people make THEMSELVES better. I have done this now for 6 years, and after this next Season, I will have to hand off my Daughter to a new Coach. I have my concerns. But I know that if I have done a good enough job she will succeed and thrive even under sub-optimal circumstances. =Caleb - Kimberly Gleason Has your organization built a "coaching culture?" And if so, how was it done and what were the results? Here's my take: Want to be more empowered, effective, and successful? Get a coach. Want those same attributes to define your company’s culture? Well, that’s another story. Based on research conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership, “[L]eaders are confident that coaching cultures ... more… Want to be more empowered, effective, and successful? Get a coach. Want those same attributes to define your company’s culture? Well, that’s another story. Based on research conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership, “[L]eaders are confident that coaching cultures benefit the business in ways that include: increasing employee engagement, job satisfaction, morale, collaboration and teamwork. Yet, these same leaders recognize that their organizations may be out of step in their current use of coaching compared with the potential of coaching.” So what we have here is the belief that while building a culture of coaching can and does bring huge benefits to companies, rarely do leaders implement the practice, despite having been trained in coaching skills. According to BlessingWhite’s research, “[Leaders] like to coach, know they should, but don’t get around to doing it with any regularity.” So how does an organization build this kind of culture? According to extensive studies done by The Center for Creative Leadership, Personnel Today, Coaching Today, Business Management, BlessingWhite, International Coach Federation, and others, organizations must follow these nine steps in order to integrate coaching into an organization, sustain the coaching, and see the long-term positive results from creating a coaching culture. 1. Find a sponsor or champion of the coaching initiative—a highly respected top executive with much influence. This creates buy-in. 2. Find leaders within the organization who can role-model coaching skills. 3. Link coaching outcomes to business goals. Coaching cannot be a stand-alone initiative. It must be aligned with the strategic goals of the company. 4. Train top leaders in coaching skills. 5. Utilize external coaches. Any kind of culture change is a long-term process that benefits greatly from an unbiased, objective outside observer. An external coach will provide observation, insight, feedback, and accountability to stick with the changes desired. 6. Coach the managers and teams. Says BlessingWhite, “It’s common for managers to need coaching on coaching.” This goes for teams too. So, even if managers have been trained how to coach, they still need coaching from an external coach on their coaching, to ensure the implementation and sustainability of these new behaviors that drive culture change. 7. Recognize and reward. Because coaching shouldn’t be seen as a stand-alone imitative (do it, then forget it), role models of good coaching should be recognized and rewarded, and the benefits frequently highlighted. 8. Incorporate coaching with other processes. For example, coaching must be integrated with processes such as talent management, job competencies, and learning and development. This way, coaching becomes fully engrained into the culture and moves from being merely a skill that is utilized on occasion to the regular way of doing things. 9. Regularly measure and evaluate. Like anything else that is important, coaching should be measured and evaluated on a regular basis. How is it working? What business results are seen? Where is coaching not being applied with diligence? How is it being tied into the overall vision and strategy of the organization? While the above nine steps require much effort, time, and financial resources, the benefits of higher performance, effectiveness, engagement, satisfaction, and teamwork are worth it. Creating a sustainable culture of coaching is an investment with huge dividends for companies eager and motivated to see its power and results. So I’m curious, has your company built this kind of culture? And if so, what have been the specific results? --- ebook on Anger Management http://keep-anger-controlled.com/?hop=jeanettekk Anger comes at a high price. Are You A Slave To Your Anger? Don’t You Think It’s Time You Took Control And Got Your Life Back? Dear friend, If you have issues with anger than this will be the most important thing you’re going to read because your life CAN change today. Don’t get me wrong, anger is a natural and necessary emotion that has its place in our lives, it can be a tool to motivate us to change our circumstances if we’re not happy with them, it can also stimulate our evolutionary flight or fight response in reaction to dangerous situations. So as you see, anger does have its place, however when it escalates and becomes destructive to both ourselves and to those around us, it becomes a serious problem. Your Anger Is A Silent Killer Living with anger physically changes the body’s biochemistry releasing toxins into your bloodstream slowly poisoning you, this is why anger is known as the silent killer. Living like this for years eventually catches up and manifests itself in the form of health issues. Most people aren’t even aware of the damage they’re causing their own body until one day they have a major heart attack and wonder how it could have happened. It’s not until they understand that their anger was a contributing factor to their health condition that they finally realize their heart attack was a long time in the making. Did you know that those who live with chronic anger are more at risk of heart disease, stroke, impaired immune system, higher blood pressure and cholesterol levels than those not living with chronic anger? So it pays to control your anger and not let it control you. That’s just the physical cost of anger, what about the emotional and psychological aspects? What is it costing you in terms of your relationships with your loved ones? Is it driving a wedge between your and your family? Is it stealing the joy from your life? The isolation and the loneliness you experience living with chronic anger can be the highest price of all. Do You Live With Chronic Anger? Do You Allow Trivial Things That Should Have No Effect On Your Life To Make You Angry? Do You Allow Anger To Control Your Life? Is Your Temper Hair Trigger That It Doesn’t Take Much To Set You Off? Do You Miss Out On Enjoying Your Time? Is Your Anger Too Intense? Does Your Anger Feel More Like Rage, To The Point Where You Can't Control It, The Point Where You Couldn't Stop Being Angry Now No Matter How Hard You Try? Do You Use Your Anger To Help You Get Through Life? Are Your Family Or Friends Afraid Of Your Temper? 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The digital file is in PDF format which is compatible with both Windows and Mac operating systems. GUARANTEE: Get your copy of "Anger Management: How To Control Your Anger To Get The Most Out Of Your Life" right now and read it over. Try the information out. If you are for any reason at all not 100% satisfied, send me an email within 60 days after purchasing, and I will personally refund every penny of your money, no questions asked. For Members | Contact Us! | Affiliates | Home Page - Anger Management — How to control your anger and get the most out of your life! http://angerisnotanemotion.com/reviews/anger-management-how-to-control-your-anger-and-get-the-most-out-of-your-life/ Anger comes at a high price. Are You A Slave To Your Anger? Don’t You Think It’s Time You Took Control And Got Your Life Back? I’ve just finished reviewing Anger Management — How to control your anger and get the most out of your life! and I highly recommend it. What I liked best was that James Brown makes it very easy to understand where our anger is coming from, how it’s affecting us both physically and mentally, and he has some great strategies to quickly gain control of our anger. Here Is A Little Of What You’ll Learn With This Incredible System Discover The Benefits Of Anger And How To Separate Them From The Unhealthy Kind How To Recognize If You Have An Anger Problem 5 Major Costs Of Anger – Learn What Anger Is Secretly Stealing From You How To Decode The Physical Signs Of Anger And How To Stop It From Escalating Beyond The Point Of Control The 12 Types Of Anger And What That Means To You 10 Basic Anger Management Coping Strategies To Help Reel In Your Anger And Keep It In Check How To Develop New Communication Skills To Diffuse Difficult Situations So That You Come Out A Winner Each Time --- Helping Children Cope With Natural Disasters http://www.schoolcounselor.org/content.asp?contentid=699 Tips for Helping Kids in Times of Crisis and Stress • Try and keep routines as normal as possible. Kids gain security from the predictability of routine, including attending school.? • Limit exposure to television and the news.? • Be honest with kids and share with them as much information as they are developmentally able to handle.? • Listen to kids’ fears and concerns.? • Reassure kids that the world is a good place to be, but sometimes bad things happen.? • Parents and adults need to first deal with and assess their own responses to crisis and stress.? • Rebuild and reaffirm attachments and relationships. Resources to Download --- "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that, good men do NOTHING" Posted by Mohammad Sayeed --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out on Friday. Any special requests. (it won't, but it 'should') Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Euc Testimonial The branches arrived on time, and they made wonderful arrangements in my friend's vases - they looked and smelled great. Many thanks, Nancy --- >> Take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions... it's all the power and control you'll ever need! - 11:45 LI-EIN Get a Clue, Get a Grip, Get a Life! go home... --- 11.1.2012 Thursday no, to Dick's place to see Alex give him keys, dance a bit (yow) 2ish home pasta and coach --- 08: oh no... slept past alarm. I'm late and Paula's late pkp 08:30 here IMS (yikes!) 08:31 Every tomorrow has two handles. You can take hold of the handle of anxiety or the handle of enthusiasm. Upon your choice so will be the day. --- 10:09 No apology necessary, Brian, just no more flaming please. We're trying to set an example for high EQ, which includes kindness, understanding and empathy. It's fine to disagree with someone, but name-calling, put-downs, threats and such is not good EQ. Speak from "I" (I don't understand, I disagree, I feel differently... that kinda thing) and there can be no argument. Thanks for understanding. See you on the boards (with other friendly folks!). - Matt On 11/01/12 7:09 AM, Brian Wax wrote: -------------------- OK Matt, I get your message this time. Sorry for the previous rant. My apologies and if you would like me to make a public apology, let me know. Kind regards, Brian Who has been around a lot of very unfreiendly people... --- Terri B. To become empowered through one's own personal choice is the most well defined inner power a person can have. Power over others is... Over the years it has never ceased to amaze me how a person develops once they understand that there is a choice in everything they do even when it feels like there isn't. With every choice there is an outcome and some are better then others. We create freedom for ourselves when we learn and grow from whatever outcome our choices produce. Being empowered is knowing that we have the amazing ability to make choices and create whatever we want in life. What do you think? How do you empower yourself and those around you - Genevieve B. commented on What are your wishes for your children....through the arc of their lives? Broad and basic wishes ? For example - Happiness. To never stop learning, to never give up on their dreams, to believe in themselves, to be happy and blessed, to be spiritually fulfilled, to know they are loved and to teach their children the same. --- 12:54 IMS Measure Modification notes CC_99_??? MINUS, PATIENTID_AND_COT, Yes CC_99 OR, PATIENTID, YES CT (drag & drop) CT (drag & drop) CC_99_Exclusions AND, PATIENTID_AND_COT, Yes CC_99_Exclusions_Table OR, PATIENTID, YES CT CC_2012_99_xxx, Ref: Import_Index_Dates, COTPeriodStart -180D, -1D, PrimaryDx, Lab/Rad, Facility CT CC_2012_99_xxx, Ref: Import_Index_Dates, COTPeriodStart -180D, -1D, PrimaryDx, Lab/Rad, Professional CC_99_Age AND, PATIENTID, YES MemberAgeSex event: Gender or GTE 0, LT ? Throughout Ref: CC_99 cotstart, -180D / -1D ??: 24 male (started, asked) 10/CC_Cancer (see shruti's email) ?137 male and age <8 and age >59 (attempted, asked) ?142 male and age <8 and age >59 (did normal, see 137) 143 male and age <8 and age >59 " 144 male and age <8 and age >59 145 male and age <8 and age >59 146 male and age <8 and age >59 147 male and age <8 and age >59 Additional criteria for CC 171: IF AGE>=2, THEN remove the following ICD9’s from CC 171 – does NOT include all codes for CC 171: Done: 1.12 - 1.16 XML Code Tables 1.17 108 1.18 36 (Shruti) 1.19 CC_2012_24_Female_Remove 1.20 CC_2012_140_Female_Remove 1.21 CC_2012_139_Male_Remove 1.22 " 1.23 CC_2012_138_Male_Remove 1.24 CC_2012_137_Remove 1.25 CC_2012_171_Remove 1.26 CC_2012_172_Remove 1.27 CC_2012_142_Remove --- "There is beauty and adventure in the commonplace for those with eyes to see beyond." - Jonathan Lockwood Huie "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes; but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." - H. - Jackson Brown, Jr. --- 4-6 IMS 6:20+ MFF Eblast 6:30 - 7:25 more IMS --- 7:35 Euc Testimonial Dear Matt, I just placed my second order with you just now because I am running dangerously low on eucalyptus leaves! Apparently it's quite true that roaches dislike the smell of eucalyptus... I've been so successful in running them out of our kitchen and garage that they've escaped to our bedroom now! :( So the battle rages on!! Nevertheless, while I am hogging the lion's share of the eucalyptus leaves for my roach-killing purposes, I did let our flock "test them out" a bit. Funny thing, of all the birds, it was our Ringneck who seemed to have the most fun with them. I've attached a photo of him with some eucalyptus leaves if you'd like to use it at your site in the testimonials section. Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to the next batch of eucalyptus leaves arriving on our doorstep ~ thank you so much for making them available to everyone else, they're very useful and are making the house smell wonderful! :) Very sincerely, - KD - I just know she LOVES them as much as her pomegranate ha ha ha. --- Gloria another research grant http://grants.nih.gov/grants/guide/pa-files/PAR-12-279.html Hi. so sorry to hear about Rick's wife... I can't believe how fast she went downhill! That surely shows how much 'Will to live' (or lack thereof) can effect us, ey? wow. and sorry this is such a painful time for you. sheesh. I hear you about the incentive program... cool idea... but in my opinion, our grads are not so much $$-motivated as they are afraid/don't know how to talk to their loved ones about class. The best things we can do is do a great brochure, and maybe a DVD, for them to give them tools to open a conversation. ya know? the NIH grant you found is another research grant. Maybe we should be looking for researchers... I definitely like the idea of a corporate program! What do we bring to them, specifically? If people feel more, and heal their past, our experience is that some (incl. me) decide to QUIT their job, 'cause it's not them in the first place. The LinkedIn group is just stuff full of biz people who are ALREADY interested in EQ... but I don't know what to give them. ahhh... you're awesome. keep those ideas coming. I had a heckuva week (tho it was cool being home!), and I'm back on the brochure and the D-R app this weekend. toodles. hang in there. - me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Hey From: "Gloria Watson" Date: Thu, November 01, 2012 3:19 pm To: Yes, a blessing in disguise. What does “kinda blew up mean”?? I am good, things have been somewhat depressing though. Rick’s wife died on Sunday and it was much sooner than their son expected. Rick is grieving and trying to be there for him. My mother died six years ago this past Monday and Stef died on 11.25.2002 so the tenth anniversary is coming up. Kind of makes it hard to stay out of the feelings about death. Rick wants to go to Nevada before her memorial on 11.18 for 4 or 5 days. I told him that I would go. I really am sad that we cancelled the November class but it got me to thinking. How about trying an incentive program? People who have been through the class understand the value of the class, but may have trouble explaining it. Here is what I suggest, please let me know if you disagree. 1. Graduates who refer new students will receive an incentive of $100. The price must be $399, or whatever the full price is at that time. 2. The graduates that receive incentives will have 3 choices on how to receive the incentive: a. Cash b. Credit toward a review class c. Credit for the student they referred. I think that you should consider increasing the full price to $450. There hasn’t been an increase that I know of since I started again in 2008. Also, increase the course $50 at a time until the price is back where it should be. Also, let’s look at putting together a corporate program and presentation. Meet with HR heads (not execs) and see if we can get some momentum built up. We can start with URS but would have to go to Austin TX or Atlanta GA. Gloria --- 7:49 that's enuf for today... --- "Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." - Albert Einstein We can incorporate bear energy into our lives by remembering to take time to go inward to rest and rejuvenate in daily mini hibernations. --- Wednesday, November 7 at 7:30 p.m. and again on Friday, November 9 at the same time on MCTV, Comcast Channel 3. --- Country Music Awards (for about 15 min... then snooze) --- 11.2 00:05 up, a bit of espn and go... (IMS is behind) MFF eblast, v2 --- 01:58 MFFers, Dave Mathews, Marcie Wow, you guys must check out our new About Us page! I learned a lot about you guys by reading the bios... and I didn't even know we had an advisory board... good stuff. At least take a glance at it... it's quite impressive. Well done, Betsy, and Dave, you rock! I love your design and implementation work! (typo in Jennifer Taylor's bio: "She lived many years in France were she worked as a...") Yay us! - Matt --- 02:42 I've been working at IMS in Payer Informatics (San Francisco) for 2 months now. I've found it to be a great company to work for, with wonderful people, providing meaningful products, in a cutting-edge, growing market! --- 02:50 PP = 2764 - Netflix -36 press democrat (for Tom) + 5 orders, 2 5's --- Humans Can't Be Empathetic And Logical At The Same Time http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-11/humans-cant-be-empathetic-and-logical-same-time Logic and emotion tend to be considered as polar opposites. Think about the analytic CEO—his actions make sense in the science of profit, but when it means using cheap human labor or firing a couple hundred employees, there’s an apparent lack of concern for the human consequences of his actions. Many choices are a struggle to compromise the two systems--and that may have to do with how our brains are wired. A new study published in NeuroImage found that separate neural pathways are used alternately for empathetic and analytic problem solving. The study compares it to a see-saw. When you’re busy empathizing, the neural network for analysis is repressed, and this switches according to the task at hand. --- 03:04 Hi. (Doc) Check out the first article on how Humans Can't Be Empathetic And Logical At The Same Time (feelings go up, logic goes down!) at http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks. In fact, I'd love your involvement here, if you're interested. That link goes to my page on Scoop.it, which a site for 'curating' information on a subject (EQ). It's super-easy, you load it in your internet browser, and it adds a button so that wherever you find a cool EQ-related article/resource/quiz/whatever you just click the Scoop.it button, and it gets automatically added to this page. I find it the very easiest, fastest way to catalog dif. cool stuff I find and over 1,500 people have viewed my page, so it's good for sharing, too! If you're interested, let me know when you get home, and I'll help you load it up real quick. Have a wonderful vacation! - Matt --- 03:51 Whenever I have found that I have blundered or that my work has been imperfect, and when I have been contemptuously criticised and even when I have been overpraised, so that I have felt mortified, it has been my greatest comfort to say hundreds of times to myself that 'I have worked as hard and as well as I could, and no man can do more than this.' - Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882) --- FB-ND ------------------- mcp --------------- “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order. To put the nation in order, we must put the family in order, to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life. And to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts straight.” - Confucius, BC 551-479 New Directions Emotional Healing Workshops Well, it's nice to be in such good company because this is what we are finding with EQ (we just say it backwards)! EQ leads to Emotional Responsibility. Emotional Responsibility leads to Personal Responsibility. Personal Responsibility leads to Social Responsibility. Social Responsibility leads to Social Change. EQRocks! --- ------------- mcp ------------------- “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world — that is the myth of the atomic age — as in being able to remake ourselves.” - Gandhi The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine Who You Want to Be. - Neale Donald Walsh --- PP = 2841 +another 5 and a 2 subs only maybe 1-2 outside orders this week! --- 1999 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP Sedan 4D http://www.automartsd.com/1999_Pontiac_Grand%20Prix_San%20Diego_CA_136048976.veh Kelly Blue Book value Excellent $4,242 Very Good $3,967 Good $3,842 Fair $3,192 http://www.kbb.com/pontiac/grand-prix/1999-pontiac-grand-prix/gtp-sedan-4d/?vehicleid=5968&intent=buy-used&mileage=150000&category=sedan&condition=very-good&pricetype=private-party $5,995 Fortuna http://www.fthrtrailers.com/1999_Pontiac_Grand%20Prix_FORTUNA_CA_154858304.veh --- >> type out some of Doc's intro to: \MyDocs\DVD\ND TeachingsMatt&Doc_audio.mp3 --- 06:43 Rosie Barfoot commented on To become empowered through one's own personal choice is the most well defined inner power a person can have. Power over others is... One of the most powerful lessons for me was Steven Covey's 'stimulus + response = outcome' We have the ability to choose our response and that is what taking responsibility is about. Knowing I had that choice moved from being a victim to being in control of my life. --- 1:35 (Shruti) This seems to be working well so far for me to WFH. Should we continue next week, or do you need me there in the office? - Matt --- Hi Edie, Shruti’s question applies to the following, as all 3 say “does NOT include all codes”: CC146 CC147 CC171 Thanks for your help. - Matt --- , orders seeds: Kimberlyn Mark Teem flushed system, including heater still starts rough seems to over heat less fingers crossed tomorrow he's doing Paula's thermostat --- 1:45 MFF to office to meet Alex re: next weekend's showings 2-3:40 meet at MFF office / Matheson with Alex re: planning for next weekend's showings. 4:27 Robert Redford and Meryl Streep Narrate eBlast sent to 2,272x --- first friday, late met Caasdfoashdo, sales guy met Scott for 1 second saw Mark, talking to Hal, didn't even go introduce myself just split, to see Paula's sweater, she asked if I love it, I said no, gently but then she didn't buy it. hmmm. then we waited an hour for dinner at Los Gollitos which wouldn't bother me, except that I left VMC early because of it. not good. not good at all. --- 11.3 The film festival weekend almost completely sold out last year, and we're hearing that people want more... more films, in more venues, more often. We heard you, so here we grow! This screening represents the first of our new quarterly events that we'll present locally and throughout Mendo county. Wanna see more? What kinda films? Where? --- 08:10 Saturday morn sometimes, I finish writing a post, copy it, and say "yeah!", that's me, that's what i wanted to say, the energy I wanted to project, and the timing I wanted to send it in. ... but more often, I kinda shrug, and say, 'hey, that's the best I got at this moment... and the most time I want to spend on this subject... and the most caring I want to give right now. so, i hope it goes well. I hope I don't get in too much trouble for this/it/being me, unique, ExCiTeD, out loud,' --- 10 orders yesterday(!) incl. a 5L 5 the day before incl. 2 5's before... 1 0 2 0 not sure what happened, but happy 'bout it! btw, good job getting it built back up! esp. while commutin', and LBL'n, and EQ'n (but not much ND'n) congrats. --- ww.scoop.it/t/eqrocks rocks! --- There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures. - Shakespeare To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. - Shakespeare "Fully armed, but with no weapons, great battles could be won. " --- LI-EIN 4/10 0 from USA Ireland, UK, South Africa, UK --- 4:43 Eventbrite - Leading in a Changing Educational Landscape: How EQ can help! Matt registered for Leading in a Changing Educational Landscape: How EQ can help! at Eventbrite! Time:Monday, November 5, 2012 Hosted By:Six Seconds via Eventbrite --- 4:48 I just registered! Who else is going? Susan and Six Seconds know more about teaching EQ than most anyone on the planet. Please help us spread the good news about EQ! (at least register to receive the recording... no charge). Join us Monday at 12ET for an exciting webinar with two of our network members and powerful educational leaders! --- 5:12 Susan Stillman, Josh, Jenny Wiley Hi gang, I look forward to your workshop on Monday, Susan! I'll be driving to SF during that time, so I'll try to listen in, but it was nice to register to automatically receive the recording... nice feature! FYI, I'm not sure that Eventbrite was completely setup for this event. See below for my receipt for donating to the fund... there's no mention of it... it looks like I just paid Eventbrite, and I believe you can customize this receipt to show it as a donation. Also, look at the link in your announcement on Facebook and see what it says... "normal 0 false false ..." I think that's because some of the description fields weren't completed in Eventbrite. Anyway, thanks for doing this event, and ALL you guys do to spread EQ! - Matt http://www.scoop.it/#/EQRocks -- FYI: pretty consistent Subject Launch Date Sent Open Click Bounce Unsub Robert Redford & Meryl Streep Narrate Nov 02, 2012 4:25PM 2,271 28.23% 2.95% 0.40% 0.09% More Award-Winning Films! Oct 02, 2012 7:45AM 2,278 29.59% 6.94% 0.40% 0.18% Thank Youz 2012 Sep 05, 2012 3:11PM 2,322 32.08% 1.51% 1.81% 0.17% It was great to meet you in person, Marcie!! - Matt --- 5:37 Hi Anita... hope things are well for you and yours! Can you fix a page for me, please? http://2gethelp.org/freestuff/ doesn't work... no buttons... and the Email and Name text labels show up funny. The code behind the missing buttons should be the same as those used here: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm While you're at it, please add the 2 newest sign-ups, so they're all available. Quotes 4 Life e-series, Year 2 Perennial Positivity (Cheryl has now done 3 years of positive quotes, that are quite powerful... you might want to try 'em out) Thanks much. Will pay. - Matt --- 6:40 MFF Yo Dave, do you have Google or other Analytics set up on the MFF site? Can we tell who clicked thru from an email/eblast to specific pages? And, did Michael have you setup an instance of Wordpress for us? Thanks! - Matt, et. al. --- Yes, @Mei, LIVING is whatever you want it to mean, to you! If you're happy working, work away -- if you're friend's version of living is ridin' the breeze, as long as he's not hurting or taking from others, I say ride away! That's some of the cool things about EQ -- we explore living, we study living, we choose living. And, Yes, @Lesley, that line in Shawshank was a life-changer for me. (makes me cry again...). When I first heard that, back when I was younger, and new to exploring EQ, just realizing the power of choice I had in front of me, it really hit me hard... I took it to heart, and got busy livin'! For me, truly living means experiencing and documenting my own trials and tribulations, and insights... then take that and do the very best I can to bring EQ to the world. Like George Carlin said... "my job is to think up goofy sh*t, and come back and report it to you!"... well, my job is to live EQ to the fullest extent I can out in the world, and come back and report it to you! --- Yo Elizabeth... that was a cool concept you just wrote about... burning the apt... but in your line of work, you gotta be super-clean, right? and FB has become the #1 means of researching a person's credibility. I may be overstepping, but I suggest you consider an edit, or make it private, or delete it. my 2 cents, 'cause I care. Thanks for giving your opinion -- you're right, it just means you care. Can you tell me why you think it's not super-clean? I think I'm missing something. I made a joke about burning the apartment down because I hate spiders, what part of that struck you as potentially dicey? burning the apt down. mental instability. funny, yet scary, too. personally, I have no prob with it... but if stuffy folks are Looking for issues/negatives/potential probs, they can make a case outta it. I personally know 2 people who were fired from their jobs ONLY bec. of what they posted on FB. boom, next day, bye. don't mean to be a worry wart... I'm just super proud of you going to med school, and I'm trying to connect/help. It's fine if you leave it... it's your call, certainly. Ah. Well, I actually disagree with you on this one. I also know of cases where people were fired for what they said on FB -- you're right, you have to watch yourself. That being said, I don't think it was ever for anything as mild as what I wrote, which (1) is not directed at any person or group of people, (2) is not racially/politically/whateverly insensitive, and (3) does not reflect a controversial view I hold. I think I will leave it up, but this conversation will make me really examine things I post in the future. Thanks for chiming in. hope you can come out to AZ in August! mom and dad are getting older, and it's time we all met up. plus, you need to know Rachel, as she lived in your clothes for years, and she's very curious to meet you! And Ethan and Finn are two of the coolest kids... What's going on in August? I could probably get a ticket for then! August is normally a good time for students... No seriously, you just got me all excited. "hope you can come out to AZ in August!" What's going on in August????? Oh, sorry... Abbie and John are not coming for New Years (nor are some others), but they ARE coming in August... sooooo, we're ALL gonna convene there in August (way better weather, too). Maybe we can go to the lake and get a houseboat... or Scott's wife Merk's dad owns an AMAZING home on the golf course in Sedona. Let's do it! If you could be there too, it was so 'complete' our fam! I just read your rebuttal to my concerns... and I have to agree... and back off. You're cool. Leave it. I'm going to note your 3 points, tho, 'cause they're a clear test for appropriate-nicity. aren't I the cool one, getting to chat with a real, live med student?!? seriously, I have a ton of respect for medical caregivers, like mom! We've laughed many times that I can deal with ANY feeling or emotion you can throw at me... but blood and body parts, ahhh... while mom is the exact opposite. --- what NOT to say on Facebook (FB) (1) is directed at any person or group of people, (2) is racially/politically/whateverly insensitive, and (3) does it reflect a controversial view I hold. --- Yes, @Mei, LIVING is whatever you want it to mean, to you! If you're happy working, work away -- if you're friend's version of living is ridin' the breeze, as long as he's not hurting or taking from others, I say ride away. That's some of the coolest things about EQ -- we explore living, we study living, and we get to choose! And, Yes, @Lesley, that line in Shawshank was a life-changer for me. (makes me cry again...). When I first heard that, back when I was younger, and new to exploring EQ, just realizing the power of choice I had in front of me, it really hit me hard... I took it to heart, and got busy livin'! For me, truly living means experiencing and documenting my own trials and tribulations, and insights... then take that and do the very best I can to bring EQ to the world. Like George Carlin said... "my job is to think up goofy sh*t, and come back and report it to you!"... well, my job is to live EQ to the fullest extent I can out in the world, and come back and report it to you! here's a powerful (yet harsh) quote that a friend of mine, @ElleJay, likes to say: "The unexamined life is not worth living." Agree? --- --------- mcp ---------- Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. - Albert Schweitzer --- People actively trying to help us: - Gloria, grants and vets and non-profit, and all. - Debbie Oppie - class in CO - Meghann Bartlett - class in Sac, Boys & Girls Club of El Dorado County (BGCE) - Christine - class in WA - Mike and Sheila - ? --- >> brochure --- 8:09 called Gloria Rick's wife died last week --- As the character of Julius Caesar said in Shakespeare's play by the same name, "A coward dies many times before his death. The valiant never tastes of death but once." --- no more than 5 bullets on a page no more than 5 words per page --- 11.4 05:55 Daylight Saving Time, fall back which means all my ferry trips home from now on will be in the dark --- LI-EIN 13/3 2 of 13 from USA --- 06:19 PP = 2941 (almost...) +1 order -27 donation to World EQ fund --- Margaret Lynch http://margaretmlynch.com/admitting-my-tricks-and-ridiculous-tapping/ Success Strategies How to commit, while still procrastinating 1. Choose a long term AND short term goal 2. Commit to taking action on your goals 3. Carve it out on the calendar 4. Voice your "I commit, I intend" goals daily 5. Be accountable to someone for timing and results "I'm rebelling against myself" voice the rebellion tap and repeat... I do not want a goal I don't wanna they can't make me do it yuck, boring, restrictive I'll do it when and if I feel like it that feels like it I'm not gonna do it I hate being told what to do procrastination is about rebellion use Conscious Willpower take action on your mission --- Any time we 'lecture', the leader is assuming that they know something that the listeners do not. big assumption. --- Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html CNN asked him, "what is the state of psychology today?" you get 1 word: "good" ok, 2 words "not good" alright, 3 words "not good enough" that's what I want to talk about today... psych is the it's about finding what's wrong with you people now move towards me NIH made none of the disorders were treatable 14 are now treatable 2 are even curable a new science of mental illness we can take fuzzy concepts and measure them with rigor we can look across time isolate variables test like we test drug treatments and test them rigorously throw out what didn't psych, can make miserable people less miserable I'm proud of it. Disease Model consequences 1. Moral - we forgot Victimization 2. Forgot about improving normal lives, and high talent make relatively high-functioning people even better 3. we didn't know to make interventions that make people happier positive - Martin Seligman on positive psychology psych is in disease model what's wrong with you, spot the loony $30B NINH made 14 disorders are now treatable / curable now can measure illnesses can find causability can do experience Invent treatments (Tx and Rx) Discover causes psychology can make miserable people less miserable Not good - victimologiest, pathologizers - forgot about improving normal lives and higher talent (genuis) - disease model, there were no positives What is Positive Psychology? 1. Psych should be as concerned with strength and with weakness 2. Interested in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst 3. as concerned with making the lives of normal people fulfilling and with nurturing high talent (genius) as with healing pathology Science of Positive Psc measurement AuthenticHappiness.org free testing classification causation marty@ miserable people happy people 1 dif. is they are extremely social romantic R interventions from buddha to tony robbins efficacy and effectiveness studies 3 Happy Lives - the Pleasant life (PA) - life of engagement, leisure - the meaningful life philanthropy vs. fun - Questionnaires Center http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx --- ND does a good job of healing but we need to focus more on success, after, too! 1. Learn how to clear out your past blocks, fear, pain, anger and abuse, so it does not have a take over your life any longer. 2. Discover a new way of looking at yourself, your past, and your world 3. Experience the freedom and joy of emotional responsibility 4. Connect with super-loving, accepting, wonderful people who are ready, willing and able to support you in your emotional growth and development 5. Get the emotional tools you need to handle your own and other feelings, going forward heal the past live fully in the present create the future you want, for you and yours Contract: We'll bring the support group, set up the environment and teach/model the tools, techniques and language you bring the willingness, some courage, and even some anger at the abuse you have taken and the ways you were victimized, as a child, teen or adult. We are there 2GiveHelp... you are there 2GetHelp. Let's put those two powerful forces together to help you clean out and feel better about yourself and your life, maybe permanently! - 08:57 LI-EIN Matt's EQ Stuff EQ Caregiving is a skill. Active listening is a skill. Empathy is a skill (!) Communications is a skill. Leading / Supervising is a skill. Even LOVING WISELY is a skill. EQ skills can change our entire work and life experience -- inexpensively, powerfully, and profoundly. - Examine all timeframes You might consider ND if, a. you mostly forgot/covered up your memories of childhood b. whenever you think back, it's painful c. you KNOW that stuff from back there is still effecting/affecting your daily life and loves. d. you are in serious pain, and/or you're relationships are trashed. e. you keep repeating the same stupid behaviours over and over, you don't know why, and you can't seem to stop it. f. you want more outta life. g. you're bored. h. you're prematurely tired. i. you're ok, but you still want more. j. you're curious, 'cause we didn't learn this stuff in school, and you hecka wanna know all you can know about yourself, what drives you, what you care most about, what and who I love the most... and I want to focus on THAT part of my life... 'cause it matters. k. you already a rockstar, and you don't have anything better to do. lol. l. you've tried every healing technique known to man... some have worked, some whatever... but you ain't tried this one... and all these people are saying it rocked their world... so........ anyway, >> Examine >> Discover >> Effect/Affect what did it do to you physically - pain, move, separate what did it do to you emotionally - pain, anger, beliefs, values, IQ = Effect. What happened in my life as a result of this event. EQ = Affect. How did it feel? What happened to you EMOTIONALLY, as a result of these events It's NOT THERAPY. You (probably) don't need therapy!!!!! You just need to learn about HOW YOU WORK, and HOW YOU FEEL and WHO YOU ARE and HOW TO DEAL with yourself and others. It's called EQ. It stands for Emotional Intelligence. Learn who you are. Learn about the OTHER SIDE of your spirit, mind, body, soul, heart and LOVE. Learn about what really friggin' matters in life, to you. Learn how to be the coolest, most confident, most awesome person, with all you need and want in life BY being nice, and working well with others, and being a loving, giving person. (that's our biggest secret to a happy life -- LOVE. Love really is the answer. It makes you feel better. It makes others feel better around you... which makes YOU feel better. get it? It's all about you, and me, loving ourselves. If we love ourselves, WE ALL WIN! If we like ourselves, WE USUALLY LIKE PEOPLE better. we don't nec. want to be around 'em all the time, but still we like people, we enjoy people, we feel loved, easily and quickly, and consistently We know how to make ourselves feel loved. We know how to make ourselves feel powerful, and in control. If we understand ourselves, we can manage ourselves better. we don't need as much outside stimulus. it doesn't have to come a specific, certain way in order for us to 'get it'. we can truly appreciate the Intention behind actions, which makes people make so much more sense. if I know me, I can know you. if I like me, I can like you. if I have empathy for me, I can have empathy for you. if I am shut down, and verbally abuse myself, guess how I'm gonna be towards you. if I'm a miserable victim who blames the world for my pain, how do you think my life is gonna work? if I was hollared at over and over, and beaten, and molested, and abused as a kid, and my emotions are smashed down inside of me, how can I see the world as a safe, loving place? --- 07:15 Hi Matt, Susan Stillman commented on your post. Susan wrote: "Thanks, Matt. YOu are so right!" --- 07:23 EP = Elizabeth Perelstein E-man = Ethan Perelstein Are you taught much about the soft side of medicine... dealing with people's fears and emotions, how to talk to 'em, how to listen... that kinda thing? I sense that you're already a loving, caring person, so it won't be a big challenge for you, but for some, empathy and compassion are totally foreign concepts. How important is patient interaction in your trainings? --- I like how I'm being now. I like how I think, and I love how I feel... loving, confident, challenged, inspired, connected, loved. I'm more accepting of me, so IN RESPONSE, I believe others are more accepting of me. we EXUDE what we feel about ourselves! the exercises need to be self-reflection >> do my CV --- Who wants to start a by-phone support group? I miss you guys like crazy, so let's pick a time, in the evening, maybe every other week or so, where we all jump on the phone together. I don't wanna be mr. instructor dude, I just wanna be me. let's give it a try for a month or two, wanna? Hey sweetie. so sorry 'bout all this. Good job in getting yourself and your baby Out. Hang in there, and know you're loved! Being with your mom is about the best place on earth for you emotionally. --- Jim Rohn "It's best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It's easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it's a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million." - Jim Rohn 08:08 Good point! And that's a good problem to have... we all have problems... but there are good problems and bad problems... that's a good problem! I'll start practicing, thanks... --- 08:25 Doc Check out Martin Seligman's site on Authentic Happiness! http://www.AuthenticHappiness.org And his talk on TED http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html I think that's one of the things we're good at... not just finding people's weaknesses, but celebrating their strengths, as well! Helping normally functioning people feel fulfilled. yay us. - Matt --- Attached is the PPT I've been working on this morning. it's too long. and there's more below... see what I mean? I can write 10,000 words, but not 20! HELP me hone it down to what's important! - Matt >> Examine >> Discover >> Effect/Affect what did it do to you physically - pain, move, separate what did it do to you emotionally - pain, anger, beliefs, values, IQ = Effect. What happened in my life as a result of this event. EQ = Affect. How did it feel? What happened to you EMOTIONALLY, as a result of these events It's NOT THERAPY. You (probably) don't need therapy!!!!! You just need to learn about HOW YOU WORK, and HOW YOU FEEL and WHO YOU ARE and HOW TO DEAL with yourself and others. It's called EQ. It stands for Emotional Intelligence. Learn who you are. Learn about the OTHER SIDE of your spirit, mind, body, soul, heart and LOVE. Learn about what really friggin' matters in life, to you. Learn how to be the coolest, most confident, most awesome person, with all you need and want in life BY being nice, and working well with others, and being a loving, giving person. (that's our biggest secret to a happy life -- LOVE. Love really is the answer. It makes you feel better. It makes others feel better around you... which makes YOU feel better. get it? It's all about you, and me, loving ourselves, then others. If we love ourselves, WE ALL WIN! If we like ourselves, WE USUALLY LIKE PEOPLE better. we don't nec. want to be around 'em all the time, but still we like people, we enjoy people, we feel loved, easily and quickly, and consistently We know how to make ourselves feel loved. We know how to make ourselves feel powerful, and in control. so we don't need to get it from outside so much If we understand ourselves, we can manage ourselves better. we don't need as much outside stimulus. it doesn't have to come a specific, certain way in order for us to 'get it'. we can truly appreciate the Intention behind actions, which makes people make so much more sense. if I know me, I can know you. if I like me, I can like you. if I have empathy for me, I can have empathy for you. if I am shut down, and verbally abuse myself, guess how I'm gonna be towards you. if I'm a miserable victim who blames the world for my pain, how do you think my life is gonna work? if I was hollared at over and over, and beaten, and molested, and abused as a kid, and my emotions are smashed down inside of me, how could I see others, and the world as a safe, loving place --- Emotional Responsibility Bad news: It's your problem, so you can't deny, blame or victimize yourself in good conscience anymore. Good news: It's your problem, so you can DO something about it all. You have waaaay more power and control over your emotional life than you ever thought possible! --- Quadin' and motorcyclin' with PKP (to RR's, then Diana's) with RR and boys with Bri! doing euc orders with the Briana, Briana, Danna! --- 11.5 02:?? up, end of Broncos beating Bengals 31-23 Payton Manning is awesome! Broke Marino's 4th qtr, come from behind TD record Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts broke rookie record for yards/game, 433x 04:27 sent PKP's form for additional spouse life insurance at IMS $20k now, asking for $100k cleaned out Inbox, finally --- PP = 2971 (not quite... and when paula goes to the PO today, bye) -50 Sliloh for fixing 2GetHelp.org/freestuff.html --- 05:06 Euc Testimonial My budgie - Blueberra aka shredder machine - is chewing them with the same passion like toys with balsa wood. I don't have time to clean - M, AA --- LI-EIN 11/ 2 of 11 USA Ines M. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi everyone! I reside in California and work for a Mortgage company where I lead Leadership Development and Mentoring Programs nationwide. I became interested in EI several years ago. I am using Emotional Intelligence as a core fundamental element to help our associates with their leadership development. I was very excited to find and join this group! I look forward to learn more from others. --- 05:30 Hi again GG, I've been super-busy and haven't gotten to the bird toy contest, like I had planned. I just started looking into it and noticed a forum for Contests, but I'm not allowed to start a new thread there. How should I get the contest started? Thanks again for your help. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 05:56 Shelly Hi Shelly, Glider Nursery (GN) Ok, your order is packed and ready to ship today! FYI, I got carried away last night while packing, and rather than sending you the two pounds you ordered, I sent you 8.5 lbs of leaves and branches!! I did not set it up in a starter pack or anything, in fact, they're not even in a box (wouldn't fit)... I just plastic wrapped the entire wad and off it goes. You'll need to make the goodie bags and decide what you want to give away. There are GOBS of leaves and branches in there, so have fun with it all (I'm quite sure the postage is gonna be as much as the order you placed... but that's ok). Oh, I also didn't include any instructions, as you have those already to print out and give along with the Eucs. Enjoy, and best wishes for a successful event! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out TODAY. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 08:25 phone support group (10x responded) Glori Buck Debbie Megan Splat Cary Christina Kelly Rosemary Matt Perelstein Cool. Thanks for all the interest (I feel better already)!. Howz Wednesday evening, 7:00 - 8:30pm?? --- 50 Personal Development Posts that Will Inspire Change http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/50-personal-development-posts-that-will-inspire-change/ --- 08:26 out to SF NOT! made it 18 miles, to 128. took almost 2 hours to get back to town. The Auto Shop, on 434 McPherson not good. Paula to USPS to Hare Creek Auto champagne 2009 Toyota Rav4 yes? >> 5:30, David --- 3:00 back here IMS! --- "Passion is in all great searches and is necessary to all creative endeavors" - W.Eugene Smith -- 4:52 EP are you taught much about the soft side of medicine... dealing with people's fears and emotions, how to talk to 'em, how to listen... that kinda thing? I sense that you're already a loving, caring person, so it won't be a big challenge for you, but for some, empathy and compassion are totally foreign concepts. How important is patient interaction in your trainings? We actually are taught a lot about that. Almost to the point where I want to yell "OK WE GOT THE MESSAGE!" I think the reputation of docs in years past has been that they have no people skills, so many schools are actively trying to combat that now. - Excellent... glad to hear it! We call it Emotional Intelligence or 'EQ', as opposed to 'IQ', Intellectual Intelligence. Paula and I have been teaching intensive EQ classes for over 25 years now, and I believe it could be a world-changer. imho, MOST addictions, violence, suicides, abuse, mental health, crime, even war is based on people not knowing how to deal with their own or others feelings and emotions. Whatchathink? So we started a non-profit called 2GetHelp to bring EQ to the world. We're currently looking for funding to do research on our means of providing mental health treatment, to verify that EQ is an "evidence-based intervention". We have years of experience and hundreds of significant, positive feedback from participants, but this method of treatment needs to be properly studied and quantified. Ever heard of CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? CBT is by far the most popular, fastest, least expensive, least intrusive means of providing therapy, but us and the therapists we work with have enhanced the popular cognitive model by adding the right-brain affective functionality to the left-brain cognition, making it CABT or Cognitive-Affective Behavioural Therapy. Some of our specialties include depression, anxiety, anger and PTSD, and we've worked with trauma, military veterans, sexual assault victims and more. Do you have any/much experience with therapy/personal growth/self-awareness in this area? --- Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. All the changes occurring right now on this planet are leading to a better life for all. - NDW --- 11.6 00:51 Paypal Virtual Terminal is $30/mo. No setup, no contract. not needed yet, but hopefully someday (soon). --- LI-EIN 11/15 4 of 11 USA --- Ginger Robinson http://www.carpediem.ms/edu08.htm Learning and Laughter Educational Topics: Emotional "Baggage" Creating "Warm" Educators Touching the Hearts of Those Who Touch Lives Child Care Workers Change Society The "Strong-Willed, High-Spirited" Child "Tools" to Build Children You've Got the Whole World in Your Hand Developing Intellectual & Emotional Competencies Conflict Management Personality Styles - Your "Gift" to Others Guidance Through Literature Ages 10-13...The Challenge Years Parenting: What Works...What Doesn't Parenting Strategies for Parents of Teens Staff Development for Teachers and Counselors Professionally trained in the following areas: Practical Parent Education Peer Mediation Teaching & Learning Styles Diversity in the Workplace Conflict Resolution Crisis Management ADD/ADHD Behavior Modification Crisis Intervention/Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Reactive Attachment Disorder Gifted and Talented Students Ropes Course Facilitator Eating Disorders Self-Injury Substance Abuse Internal Safety Sexual Abstinence --- 02:03 I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I'm outta town working most of this week, so your order will go out on Friday when I get back home. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- it's not the stress, it's what we DO with the stress. If it's 'expected' and even welcomed, it can be fine, and help us strive to be the very best we can be. but if it's unwanted, thrust upon us, never-ending, powerless, victim kinda-stress, it can eat into our body.. or more acurately, we excrete hormones and acid and pain into dif. parts of our system/body, usually the weakest, or the ones where we carry the most pain. If you have not dealt with your childhood pain, anger and abuse, YOU'RE STILL CARRYING IT around with you, inside your body! GET IT OUT. Kick it out. Cry it out. Scream it out. Drop it, let go, --- 02:56 LI CONGRATS, Ginger!! What a wonderful way to help the world, taking kids with high IQ and giving them EQ to match! yay. ...and 'welcoming' kids to high school is awesome. My experience with my 3 kids and 4 grandkids is that middle school is the turning point, and their freshman year is therefore critical to their successful integration/future. Way to go! And thanks for the kind words. I LOVE EQ (can you tell?) and I believe it's a game/world changer that NEEDS to be taught/addressed/screamed from the rooftops! (my mission/calling) I checked thru your website... yay... you're on a roll. great stuff. You've been right there WITH all those kids, that's golden experience! To me, teaching EQ/SEL to our kiddos (and their teachers/caregivers) is the #1 best thing we can do for our future/world! I'm curious, what do you teach the kids about how to deal with their feelings and emotions? Is it "ok" to express themselves... what about deep, core emotions... do you guys talk about releasing, and healing? AAA = Awareness/Acceptance/Action... or KAE = Know/Accept/Express(or not). I'm sure stuff has 'come up' in your workshops, right? what's your philosophy? Rock on... you/we are doing great work!!! - Matt (teachin' EQ is sooo fun, and rewarding, and interesting, and...... I realized/told my wife the other day that EQ is my favorite Hobby... there's nothing I'd rather be doing/talking about/researching/writing 'bout... yeehaa!) "Learning and Laughter." yep, that's how I teach, too! EQRocks! On 11/05/12 7:22 AM, Ginger Robinson wrote: -------------------- It was a super retreat! My kids have big time IQs...so, we have to emphasize EQs to keep them "balanced!" I teach this leadership class on Monday evenings, here at our high school, Fort Worth Country Day. These juniors and seniors mentor small groups of freshmen under the national program called Link Crew. It's a wonderful way to stop the initiations and hazing of younger students. Our freshmen (we call them FISH) start the school year with their two "best friends" being upperclassmen! They feel welcomed into our school. Matt, I love all of your posts!! I will be doing some counselor training in North Carolina this week (National Center for Youth Issues is my "booking agent") and I will use some of the great "sayings" that are coming through all of the EQ postings. I learn so much! My website www.carpediem.ms Blessings to you...have a great Monday! ginger Thank you for checking on my retreat! --- we wanna say that we're all 'equal', but we're not. we all have strengths that make us 'exemplary' --- 03:12 Ok, let's do it! Anyone who wants to join in, just call the conference line at 7pm Wednesday evening. 1-605-475-4250 then 33#. I figured we'd just go around to each of us to get a chance to talk/share/cry/whine/vent/whatever, while others support/listen/validate/encourage/love. bring your biggest issues/pain/confusion/dreams to the call/group/surface, and let's see what we can do with 'em! sound good? (it does to me... i'm excited to talk to ya'll again... did I mention that I love you guys?!? :) EQRocks! --- it's 3 o'clock in the morning. I fell asleep for a while, maybe an hour or so, not sure... doesn't matter. and I've driving 4 hours then taking the ferry (nap?), then work all day. what the heck are you doing? my very best, I'm afraid. I flow, and it's ok. EQ Eucs ND LI-EIN D-R VA --- 3:46 Halloween in Mendo, right in front of the new MFF Office! Very fun. What was the name of the troupe who performed?? They were wonderful and the kids, some local, were especially impressive! --- 03:47 LI-EIn David P. commented on If you had to describe Emotional Intelligence in ONE WORD, what would it be? Peace. Only because this word embodies everything we strive for, whether we realise it or not. David P. commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? The main quote that has inspired me lately is: "Evil prevails when good people do nothing." The main reason I love this is because I'm like that in life. You don't have to go around with your heart on your sleeve, guns blazing, but make small, karmic contributions daily. Where there is a wrong, make it right if you can. Anyone can do it. --- 2009 Toyota Rav4 4WD, 52,567x $295/mo. for 6 years incl. 'gap insurance' ($495 for life of loan) Tracy, can beat FBCU at 4.5% Blue book $17.5 or 18 $16.5 go longer, Goal: prepay not pre-loaded FB-MCP Pic of car My new ride! My poor Grand Prix died yesterday on my way to SF (so sad, loved that car!), so I had to get a new/used one to get to work. Part-commuter, part-woodsy (4WD/hitch), great interest rate, doggies will fit... should be fun! — with Tracy McDaniel and Paula Perelstein at Hare Creek Automotive. --- 04:44 go... switched most everything from the GP to the Rav4. cried for awhile left home at 05:55 more crying list of +'s and -'s re: Rav4 beautiful day drives ok pretty uncomfortable oh well, stuck with it for now --- HughesNet owe $84 last payment: Sept. 12, 2012 CustSvc 866-347-3292 --- 09:35 SR unpack shower missed 10:10 ferry login to attempt IMS measure runs, not 11:10 ferry nice! subway, cookie 12:05 here Shruti stopped to welcome me back and to say thanks for going thru all that hassle, here's what happened. nice ... and she got a haircut, about 5" off. cute, but I liked it long, too. she said when she was little, it went down to her knees... she's do pony tails with down, and back up, twice! --- , orders from Lisa Yoshino on... PP = 2775 --- 1:37 Hi, (paula and me) Below is information on insurance rate and deductible increases for our health coverage (boo!). See attached guide for more details. We must make changes by next Friday, 11/16. Whatchathink? - Matt From: Employee Solutions Center (Bethlehem) Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 1:27 PM Subject: Important Benefits Open Enrollment Information Important IMS Benefits Annual Enrollment Information! To: U.S. Benefits-eligible Employees From: Paul M. Thomson, Senior VP, Human Resources & Administration Date: November 6, 2012 Subject: 2013 Benefits Enrollment Dear Colleagues: It’s time to make decisions on your benefits selections for next year. Our 2013 Open Enrollment period begins November 7 and runs through November 16. During this time, you’ll be able to review your benefits options for next year and choose those that best meet the needs of you and your family. There are some key changes in our benefits plans for 2013, so it’s important to review your selections carefully. At IMS, we remain committed to providing competitive and affordable healthcare coverage as part of our comprehensive benefits package offered to employees. We benchmark our programs and costs, negotiate the best possible rates with our benefit partners, and continue to fund the majority of healthcare plan costs for colleagues. Healthcare continues to represent a significant and increasing cost to IMS and like any business, we must respond. In 2013, plan premiums for IMS’s PPO and HSA medical plans will increase to reflect the rise in costs. Deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums for our PPO plan also will rise. In addition, if you are enrolled in the medical/prescription and vision plans, you must make a new election during Open Enrollment or you will not have coverage next year. Changes for 2013 To account for the increase in plan costs, the premiums for the PPO and HSA plans will increase between $8 and $51 per month next year, depending on the number of family members covered: 2013 Employee Per-Month Costs for Medical/Prescription Drug Coverage Medical Plan Employee Only Employee + 1 Employee + 2 Employee + 3 or more 2012 2013 2012 2013 2012 2013 2012 2013 PPO Plan $107.67 $122.65 $216.66 $246.80 $331.01 $377.06 $372.74 $424.59 HSA Plan $ 58.55 $ 66.69 $117.47 $133.81 $184.06 $209.66 $201.09 $229.06 You also will see changes in the deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums for the PPO plan. The annual deductible increases to $500 (employee only)/$1,000 (family) for in-network coverage. Out of network, the annual deductible rises to $1,000/$2,000. The annual out-of-pocket maximum for the PPO plan will be $2,500/$5,000 for in-network coverage, and $5,000/$10,000 out of network. Deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums for IMS’s HSA plan will not change in 2013. As of January 1, 2013, certain medications that could be used for non-medical purposes will now need prior authorization to ensure that the drug meets standards for safety, effectiveness and cost. This requirement will apply to a limited number of prescribed drugs. Additional details and a list of affected medications can be found on the Benefits Enrollment section of our Intranet. Starting next year, employees electing to cover spouses who have access to other medical coverage – for example, through the spouse’s employer – will pay a surcharge of $25 per month to be included in an IMS medical plan. Another way to help control the overall costs of our plans is to encourage colleagues to take more responsibility for their own health; a surcharge of $25 per month will be included in premiums for employees and covered dependents who use tobacco. This surcharge will be waived due to certain medical conditions or for individuals who register for a tobacco cessation program. Also next year, vision coverage will be offered separately for the first time and be available to you even if you decline medical coverage through IMS. The employee cost for vision coverage will range from $5 to $20 per month, depending on the coverage level you choose. Other benefits changes include a reduction in the amount an employee can contribute to a Healthcare Flexible Spending Account (FSA), the result of U.S. Healthcare Reform legislation. For 2013, the new contribution limit is $2,500. Employee contributions for dental coverage remain unchanged next year, as does the level of the company’s contributions to employees’ HSA accounts in 2013. Please take some time to carefully review and choose the benefits options that are most appropriate for you and your family. You can find more information in the Benefits Enrollment section of our Intranet, IMS Now, as well as in the IMS 2013 Benefits Enrollment Guide. You can make your 2013 Open Enrollment elections through PeopleSoft. Have Questions? An online presentation is available through the Learning Center and can be found on the IMS Benefits Enrollment section. Directions on how to log in to access the presentation are also available. If you have questions after reviewing the IMS 2013 Benefits Enrollment Guide, the IMS Employee Solutions Center is here to help. Contact the Employee Solutions Center at 1-800-467-6130 or via email at employeesolutions@imshealth.com. --- Verizon services on 916-599-8597 Confirmed - You have made changes to your plan MOT MOTOROLA DROID BIONIC 916-599-8597Added: Backup Assistant Plus$0.00 $0.00 Share Name ID$0.00 $0.00 Backup Assistant Plus for Media: 25 GB $2.99 $2.99 Existing: Unlimited Data $29.99 $29.99 Nationwide - Line Access with Text $9.99 $9.99 All Included Features Pay As You Go ($0.20 per message) Streamline Billing $0.00 Message Waiting Ind Declined Insurance $0.00 Caller ID $0.00 Busy Transfer 3-Way Calling Call Delivery Call Waiting No Answer Transfer Call Forwarding $0.00 Basic Voice Mail $0.00 V CAST APPS $0.00 4G DATA TRANSPORT $0.00 REAL TIME USAGE REPORTING $0.00 Pay Per Message $0.00 DYNAMIC-PRIVATE IP $0.00 4G INTERNET ACCESS $0.00 4G APPLICATION ACCESS $0.00 4G No Roam - USA Only $0.00 PICTURE MESSAGING $0.00 FRIENDS & FAMILY $0.00 CONSUMER PDA $0.00 Pay As You Go ($0.20 per message) Streamline Billing $0.00 Message Waiting Ind Declined Insurance $0.00 Caller ID $0.00 Busy Transfer 3-Way Calling Call Delivery Call Waiting No Answer Transfer Call Forwarding $0.00 Basic Voice Mail $0.00 V CAST APPS $0.00 4G DATA TRANSPORT $0.00 REAL TIME USAGE REPORTING $0.00 Pay Per Message $0.00 DYNAMIC-PRIVATE IP $0.00 4G INTERNET ACCESS $0.00 4G APPLICATION ACCESS $0.00 4G No Roam - USA Only $0.00 PICTURE MESSAGING $0.00 FRIENDS & FAMILY $0.00 CONSUMER PDA $0.00 Next Steps: - Manage Share Name ID - Add/update a name to display on devices with Caller ID enabled. - Learn More - Next Steps Start Using Cloud Storage Go to your online storage now and start uploading your media. Get Started Features have been successfully updated. We are processing your request. The changes will take place within 24 hours. Thank you. Features Total: $42.97 --- they say I've got a lot on my plate, but right now, I'm not sure what to do, exactly... 1. HEDIS 2013: I have table of mods, but that's it. Others are getting involved, too. 2. CF Adverse Event measure: draft 1 of mods done, some tweakes req'd 3. Observations: 12 need to be run / 'exec counts' re: zeroing out, waiting for data on mvinfo1/sql2008 --- 5:31 go (get 5:55 ferry!) Gloria Marin B. a choc/blonde and finished some guys' fries (with permission) watched soccer rather than baseball or football. dif. guy said european players make sooo much they're seasons are only 90 days or so. so they can have 3 contracts a year, PLUS play for the national team (no pay but big exposure) so the top guys are making $120M/yr PLUS endorsements! wow encouraging to me that something/anything is worth that much... and, all it is is Talents! Landon Donovan said he doesn't want to play for the national team anymore he's tired. he's 38. then went to mex place next door, and got 2 mini gorditas $4, and chowed on a big basket of chips the have a salsa bar! --- Talent, that's what you have. the highest paid people in the world are paid that much because of their TALENT, something they can control. ask Will Smith ask Clint Eastwood how about George Lucas and Michael Jordan, and Magic, and Kobe yeah, the athletes have an ureal physical talent that most of us can't manage, but still, they had to get to the top of their game. talent. Maybe you're happy with the election results. maybe you're sad, discouraged and depressed. sorry, but it's done. and it's out of our control. So let's focus on the stuff we DO have control of! Like our Attitude, and our Energy and our Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours and let's make OURSELVES the best person we can be. Let's find our Motivation, and motivate us. let's find our Passion, and GO FOR IT! Let's find out where each of us can contribute, and get out there and do it. --- 06:23 I'm in my room, working on my laptop, with 'very good' internet access!!(!) I got a repeater, click, plug, bang... done! there's a firewall of block between this room and the rest of the space and Tom's internet wouldn't go thru it. and they use an internet line in the band room so, there's a blue line there now, rather than the beige, which goes into the new box DD-WRT Repeater Bridge 4156865286 --- M&D called, Paula called back ' 07:29 go --- 11.7 missing >>>>>>> --- 08:25 got BUS, instead (on purpose!) how nice! got entire back row, 5x seats laid out, with sweater as pillow, and SLEPT! bus stops at Bush and Pine, about 2 blocks from here! excellent 1SC: 2gethelp.org / 2gh2 --- 09:37 IMS Hey guys! Here's the new password for 1SC. 2gethelp.org / 2gethelp2 remember, if/when 2gethelp2 doesn't work anymore, try 2gethelp3, and so on... rock on!! love always, - Matt --- Euc Testimonial Woohoo!! Glad you liked 'em so much, Karen! Enjoy! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: The eucalyptus leaves arrived today! From: Karen Deihm Date: Wed, November 07, 2012 11:51 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Dear Matt, I just wanted to say thank you for sending along the PayPal info (I finally got the official invoice from them after I received yours!) and also I want to let you know the box arrived today. What a gorgeous bunch of leaves!! I am absolutely impressed by the quality of the leaves and the branches, the smell, everything... thank you so much! You definitely will have a repeat customer in us! I hope you and your family have a great day, and thank you again for the wonderful service and leaf selection! Very sincerely, Karen Deihm :) --- If you think peaceful thoughts, you'll feel peaceful emotions, and that's what you'll bring to every life situation. If you're attached to being right or absolutely need something in order to be at peace or successful, you'll live a life of striving yet never arriving. - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer --- Guess who's "Request to Join" I just approved on LI-EIN -- Tony Robbins!!(!) Daniel Goleman Daniel Pink Tony Robbins --- 5:30 out to 7pm support call in Ferry parking lot Splat Glori Erika Debbie Round Table salad bar 9:20 home, studio >> tom got combo code working 2357 save to ID_PW find out in the morning what's up... MFF FGF eblast draft write 'til after midnight --- 11.8 09:43 IMS eblast draft 2 >>>>>>> Missing >>>>>>>>> napped about 10x! --- 11.9 07:02 home pkp, new sweater (which she loved! yeehaa.) "All things are difficult before they are easy". - Thomas Fuller Such as we are made of, such we be. - William Shakespeare Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul. - Thomas Merton Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. - Swami Sivananda --- Animal Odd Couple http://video.pbs.org/video/2300668052?starttime=1200000 interacting with other people in positive, social ways, feels good. --- 07:50 here, IMS work, for Jim Shruti's leaving today for 6 weeks in India! to get her sister married. --- 09:07 just installed EditPadLite onto IMS VDI(! nice) (thank you for taking a few minutes to improve our future, says I) --- 09:52 Priya (IMS) I WFH on Fridays. 707-962-9006 Monday afternoon, T-Th, 415-814-7126 desk I drive all Monday morning, or if I’m not at my desk. 916-599-8597 cell --- 91 S of prague lang is tough lived their bef beurocracy relatively safe indian, few foreigners, stick out -5 freezing and gray no snow little style american on VA lake braddock closer to CA get away from rest of family observed and judged competition --- 1:10 Doc, Hawaii big island 11 dif. climate zones, frozen, rain forest, dessert Scoop.it Blog coming out beliefs that limit our relationships look in PTSD 30-sec. video Bill passing the test, all day sat clases 40-hours of hospice counselling in the evening >> send info on Scoop.it --- 7pm Matheson screening of FGF! 111x(!) went SUPER smoothly! good film, good peeps, Mark Kitchell, director, there nice event Big success, with little stress. soup bed (couch) --- 11.10 05:?? up, poops, play with doggies made coffee, washed dishes 06:55 here, "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." - Lao Tzu Forgiving is my gift to you. Moving on is my gift to myself. - FB-EIN Matt Perelstein Good one, Sudha, Yet we teach that Forgiveness is actually a gift to ourselves, too. Forgiveness is letting go of the pain that is between us -- my pain, my anger, my disappointment -- my benefit! Here's a tweak on this that I read yesterday -- "Maturity is forgiving your actions... wisdom is knowing never to trust you again!" -------- mcp ------ Maturity is forgiving your actions... wisdom is never trusting you again! - mcp --- 2 new subscribers last night! that's 11 new since Oct. 1 yay for bird people (with money)! , orders Kim 1' branch, too Karen aroma, spiders Jocelyn 1L, fresh and dried leaves, small sticks, and bus. cards --- 07:13 Hi Jocelyn, WELCOME BACK!! Sure, I can send fresh and dried leaves, small sticks, and bus. cards this time (did I miss anything?)! Thanks for being such a loyal customer... your order should go out on Monday, whoops Tuesday. Enjoy! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LI-EIN Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. - Albert Schweitzer (...and I'd like to see each of us at least TRY to be that "rekindler" for others. We don't have anything better to do!) 08:50 FB-MFF This showing was the World Premiere, in fact, first time ever shown to the public. Yay for MHS! Thanks for letting us use your cool theatre! - Awesome screening last night! 111 folks enjoyed an unforgettable film, and got to meet Mark and his fam. Showing again today at 11 in Fort Bragg, tonight at 7 in Mendo and tomorrow at 3 in Pt. Arena. Rave reviews -- many bought their own copy on DVD -- don't miss it. Get tickets at the door (cash/check) or visit http://mendocinofilmfestival.org to prepay (paypal/card). - Brrr... it's freezing out. Join us at Coast Cinema in Fort Bragg this morning at 11, to get some warm coffee, and see an amazing film on those who have given so much to help save our planet! --- 09:34 BlueHost.com submit tickets Hi. I have two email accounts, and I don't have the password for either (what I wrote down doesn't work). Would you reset them, please? info@eqrocks.com matt@eqrocks.com Thanks much. - Matt --- 7 MFF Matheson -- SOLD OUT!!! 9:30 - 10:30 sweep with Alex, clean and go 11-11:40 paula made anniversary pizza --- 11.11(!) 07 up, poops, coffee, doggies 2nd half of "Bringing down the House" - love that movie(!) 08:50 >> here, to do some LBL then >> FINISH ND BROCHURE!!! >> start CV --- ND testimonials Rosemary Nightingale Matt, thank you for the words I needed and wanted to hear. Walking the walk, doing the work, celebrating life we choose. It's such a rut and old habit to complain and b____! It's so refreshing to find those feelings and share them with the safe, supportive environment. Wish you were all right here by my wood stove. So appreciate you making the opportunity to move into being alive. Hugs! Glori Celis Well said Matt. One conclusion I've drawn from dealing with my own childhood trauma and watching others deal with it is that you need to be a VERY courageous person to feel those hurt, sad, angry feelings, then deal with them and be willing to accept responsibility for them NOW (even though a lot of them came from childhood) and change them. It ALL starts with being brave and courageous. ND people are the most courageous people I know! --- "The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Do what you can with what you have, where you are. - Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919) --- 09:31 Hi Paul, We had a heckuva weekend! Out-did my expectations in all 3 showings, including SELLING OUT Matheson last night... and ya know how many people had to turn away... Zero! it was just perfect... fit everyone in, and the showing, crowd, Q&A, energy was just super... I love when that happens. I'm sorry, but Michael was VERY good at his job, but he tended to stress, a lot, and it puts a dif. energy on things. Alex is very calm, and competent, and everyone smiles, and pitches in, and smiles some more at our packed houses, and happy customers. There was a tiny glitch with the video on Friday, they (Alex, Marshall and co) fixed it immediately and went on... michael woulda had a fit. anyway, another potential glitch was that one of the mics we got from Matt R was real fuzzy, so we had to use only one... no biggie... handled. Also, if you remember the lighting at Coast... if you're standing in front of the screen talking, people can only see your silhouette and it's kinda weird. Anyway, to handle it, we decided to run across the street to Mendo Mill and bought a few shop work lights that clip on. Alex directed the lights manually during the Q&A, 'cause if the light's showing toward the presenter, they can't see the audience, so he shined 'em down during the Q, then back up during the A. went well. cost a few bucks, but all re-usable stuff. twenceforth, the receipt below is for the stuff I bought at the store. - 2 small work lights, $9.95/ea - 40 & 100-watt halogen bulbs (to see which worked best) - an extension cord - a multiple outlet strip Thanks. Oh, I hope you got/get to see FGF... the subject is unarguable, and the documentation of it was super well done, IMHO! both informative and entertaining. Paula was selling DVDs for Mark after each show (and she sold a bunch!) and some guy bought HER one... so we have a copy, if you need. some great lines from the movie. "If you breathe air (and most people I know do breathe air), and you like to breathe clean air, you're an environmentalist. If you eat food (and most people I know do eat food), and you like to eat safe food, you're an environmentalist. If you drink water (and most people I know do drink water), and you like to drink clean water, you're an environmentalist." To guy who started Green Peace, "you know your acts are despicable, reprehensible, and vile!" "so?" "well, you need to know what people think of what you're doing." "I don't care what people think... I don't work for people... I work for whales and seals and polar bears. And when a whale comes up and complains about what I'm doing, then I'll listen." proud of our crew. miss you... hope you're well. - Matt --- Moveon.org YAHOOOOO!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you did to help reelect President Obama, send progressive champions like Elizabeth Warren, Tammy Baldwin, and Chris Murphy to Congress, and score other key victories down the ballot. This is a victory for everyone who believes in a country and an economy that work for all of us, where the wealthy pay their fair share and everyone has the same rights—no matter what they look like or who they love. We poured our hearts and souls into the fight. And together with our allies, YOU beat the money, YOU beat the dirty tricks, and YOU beat the lies. --- LI-EIN 25 / 16 --- sexiest song "Love of my Life", by Dave Mathews and Santana sexiest girl hostess at Marin B. most beautiful girl ?whitney, janet, olivia, JLo fave song "A cup of your love", by Lumanation favorite hobby writing/reading/designing EQ --- 09:48 Guess who just joined our EQ group on LinkedIn -- Tony Robbins, himself!!! Woohoo! EQ is going mainstream!! Tony says over 50M people have seen/read/heard him... wow... I believe he's the world's #1 EQer. (I approved his request to join and immediately sent him an invitation to connect. it was fun to say, "Hi Tony,..."... feels successful 2me.) The group's more about EQ in schools and at work, over 42% of the 43,000 folks there are mgrs or senior mgrs, and over 50% are non-USA. EQRocks! http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 --- http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/3_ways_to_raise_kind_kids?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+berkeley%2FMMpu+Raising+Happiness#When:11:59:00Z Teaching kindness as parents, we SHOW kindness, act it don't be exposed we try to protect our kids from their pain and other people's pain Compassion! acknowledge person, ways they can help make them aware of what it's like what's one kind thing you did today what's kind thing did someone else do today --- Write on, Christine! If it's bad, like global warming, it's bad. Don't lie to them. Don't get all hopeless and powerless and blaming about it... but if it's bad, or sad, or unfair, or not right and makes you angry... then it is how it is (Wayne Dyer says "True personal enlightenment is about truly accepting things as they are, exactly how they are."). Kids like us being 'real', and they can spot fakery in an instant. They need to know some things just ain't right, or good, or yippy skippy... and that's ok... helps them be 'real' and acknowledge (and deal with) their feelings, helps them trust and respect you more, and helps them see what it's like to be a real, live adult. --- http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_walk_on_by When I see beings of a negative disposition, or those oppressed by negativity or pain, may I, as if finding a treasure, consider them precious. Roshi Bernie Glassman has explained it with disarming simplicity: “When we don’t ask, we don’t let others give. When we fear rejection, we don’t let generosity arise.” we think the person who is loved owes a debt of gratitude to the one who loves them. There is an expectation that it should be repaid in kind, on installment, “reminiscent,” he says sarcastically, “of an actual bookkeeping arrangement.” Instead, he turns the whole thing on its head: “No, the one who loves runs into debt; in feeling himself gripped by love, he feels this as being in an infinite debt. Amazing!” --- Manuel R. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi, This is Manuel. I joined your EQ group because I have discovered 4 years ago the relevancy of the Human Behaviours, believe and attitude on the daily activities and deccissions. Being a Director from some time ago, I use EQ every day and I have developed a way to influence attitudes from a positive approach; understanding the decission making processes every individual is applying and how they need help, support, direction, learning and guidance to understand themselves (Themselves meaning their emotions and the influence of their emotions). Kind regards, Manuel. --- 10:57 LI-EIN I'm inspired by feeling valuable, and part of a team, with a bigger purpose. I'm inspired by my internal demands for quality and competence. I'm inspired by feelings of success, and benefit, and positive regard (yes, it's all about me!) I'm inspired by my fear of failing. But, I am also inspired by others' smiles, and words of respect, and positive regard. I am inspired to teach what I know about EQ as I can SEE, feel and hear how it has improved others' lives, in both the short- and long-run, small- and big-picture. And I am inspired by the belief and awareness that we are blessed with knowledge that others do not have -- the freedom of choice, the power to feel (or not), the ability to reach out, to empathize, to empower, to lead and to succeed. Great question @Jason, thanks. Way to go @Victoria and @Murthy... you both sound inspired! --- Your Topic URL http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks m@2gh / 2gh Your topic RSS feed http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks/rss.xml Scoop.it Widget for your Website and Blog --- 11:57 Doc, Join me in "scoop"ing cool, EQ-related articles. 1. Goto: http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks and choose Login ID: matt@2gethelp.com PW: 2gethelp 2. In the upper right of scoop.it, it shows a small pic of EQRocks and 1.7K | +9... click on the down arrow there... and choose Bookmarklet. 3. Click on the button and drag it up to your bookmark toolbar. that's it... you're ready to curate. Now, whenever you go to your favorite sites, or happen across good articles, research or tips on EQ, you just hit that button and a window will popup on the right with most of the fields already completed. You can personalize the description and add some keyword tabs under More Options, and when you're ready, just click the button and you're done... this page will be added to the EQRocks site, automatically. Try it! and let me know how it goes. Call if you wanna or needta. - Matt 916-599-8597 (c) --- “The two commonest mistakes in judgement ... are, the confounding of shyness with arrogance - a very common mistake indeed - and the not understanding that an obstinate nature exists in a perpetual struggle with itself.” - Charles Dickens ----------- mcp -------------- “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” - Charles Dickens - People often confuse shyness with arrogance. --- Bruce Plait meltdown call Doc --- Hey Tyler, My name is Matt and I just sent you a friend request. I knew you when you were born, up 'til 5-6yo in Boulder (you were a cool kid). Me and my wife Paula went thru IC with your parents and we still teach UYO-like classes to this day in California! Sorry about your dad passing... he/they totally, completely changed my life for the better, and I'm still committed to his 3-and-a-third-Million dream. Your page says you're an instructor at GRC... I thot it was all gone... but I hope it's true! I'd love to know you now, esp. since you grew up with such incredibly aware parents, and I still have big plans/hopes for emotional intelligence (EQ) training. Let's talk sometime, ok? Later. - Matt --- lunch with pkp broncos won, saints beat falcons ( --- Bill Reidler www.BillReidler.com http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7537091472287542431&postID=4078825470880288428 FB Friend Requests Sent: ,Tyler Kvols-Reidler ,Kathryn Kvols !Skip Swies Marj Swies Frank Ross Leggio John Masterman Barry Wilhite Karl Dinse, MRI, Sac, lives in Carmichael ,Jane Nelson !Kris Stoffel Your contributions to the children in the world, many of whom will some day become the parents of the world, are enormous. What an optimistic and encouraging "spin" you have given to the direction of humanity, Jane! --- 3: Broncos 36-14 Jaguars http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=321111029 CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Peyton Manning made sure John Fox's return to Carolina was a successful one, throwing for 301 yards and a touchdown to lead the Denver Broncos to a 36-14 win over the Panthers on Sunday. Manning threw his 420th touchdown pass to move into a tie for second place on the NFL's all-time list with Dan Marino. He trails only Brett Favre (508). --- 3:20 Skip Swies Matt it's going great. What're you up these days. Still teaching? It's been a very long time , what's new? YEP, still teaching! and still loving it. (I'm bound to get good at it, one of these days!) you? is GRC still around? I was looking for a reference Bill Reidler and happened across Tyler Kvols-Reidler... and wrote to him... and that led me to Kath, then to you! --- Skip was #1, Marj #3 Taking It Lightly Milwaukee Patrica Clason Center for Creative Learning Letters to Jung Changing Lives thru Redecision therapy Goulding Healing Fiction Do a process to Activate a feeling what did you decide? what would you like to redcied "it's always your turn" Skip Swies 512-589-9252 (c) findingthefather@juno.com --- 5:16 PP = 2918 PP = 2946 (so close) --- 7:36 LI-EIN Sudeshna Would anyone like to share their thoughts on this: Has any book/books or person/persons helped you realize your inner potential? Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Taking Control of Your Life - Myron 'Doc' Downing, PhD, LMFT Autobiography of a Yogi - Paramahansa Yogananda Emotional Equations - Chip Conley Personal Power - Tony Robbins The Road Less Travelled - Scott Peck Living in the Light - Shakti Gawain The Courage to Heal - Ellen Bass The Courage to Trust - Cynthia Wall Illusions and The Bridge Across Forever: A Love Story - Richard Bach Positive Discipline - Jane Nelsen At the Heart of Leadership - Joshua Freedman Children: The Challenge - Rudolph Dreikurs Understanding Yourself and Others - Bill Reidler and Kath Kvols A Course in Miracles - Foundation for Inner Peace The Big Book of AA --- 04:00 alarm, up 1st time "This Emotional Life" ND: A Program of Recovery from... --- Doc on Psychology Today http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=88962 Find a TherapistFind a PsychiatristGroup TherapyTreatment CentersArticlesDiagnosis DictionaryProfessionalsTherapist LoginSign Up and Get Listed New Search | Back To Results < Previous | Next > Dr. Myron K Downing, Marriage & Family Therapist , PhD , LMFT Office Affective Center For Therapy 2560 W. Shaw Ave. Suite 105 Fresno, California 93711 Show map Visit my website Contact Information phone: (559) 403-0758 fax: (559) 436-0438 Email me Send to friend I specialize in therapy for Anxiety Disorders such as: Panic disorders, PTSD, Depression, Anger Management. I provide therapy for individuals, couples and families in relationship building, conflict management, problem solving without losers and parenting. I believe that the fastest, most effective means to achieve change is by involving the whole brain. The left side of the brain thinks in logical terms, while the right side thinks in pictures, smells and touch. The Cognitive>Affective>Behavioral Therapy,CABT,approach works best to achieve lasting change. The Cognitive>Affective>Behavioral Therapy, CABT, approach allows the therapist and the client to conceptualize and focus on working with both sides of the brain. CABT improves on the effectiveness of the popular CBT method by adding the right-brain affective component to the traditional cognitive talk-therapy approach. The right side of the brain is where emotions, feelings and flashbacks occur. Along with traditional talk therapy,techniques used to help integrate the two hemispheres may include psychodrama, visualization, imagery and role playing. I have written four books. The latest is, A WHOLE BRAIN APPROACH TO ANXIETY DISORDERS. Taking the first step toward getting help is often the most difficult Please don't hesitate to send an email to Dr. Myron Downing. Treatment Approach Treatment Orientation: Cognitive Affective Behavioral Cognitive Behavioral (CBT) Family/Marital Therapy Gestalt Modality: Couples Family Group Finances Avg Cost (per session): $70 - $110 Sliding Scale: No Accepted Payment Methods: Mastercard, Visa Accepted Insurance Plans: Aetna BlueCross and/or BlueShield Health Net Horizon Healthcare Humana Magellan Behavioral Health PacifiCare ValueOptions Verify your health insurance coverage when you arrange your first visit. Qualifications Years in Practice: 30+ Years School: Columbia Pacific University Year Graduated: 1984 License No. and State: MFC 19396 California Specialties Trauma and PTSD Depression Relationship Issues Issues: Anger Management Anxiety or Fears Child or Adolescent Chronic Pain or Illness Divorce Family Conflict Loss or Grief Obsessive-Compulsive (OCD) Parenting Spirituality Substance Abuse Mental Health: Dissociative Disorders Thinking Disorders Client Focus Gender: All Religious Orientation: Any Age: Adolescents / Teenagers (14 to 19) Adults Elders (65+) Easy Access Nearby Towns: Fresno, CA, Madera, CA, Selma, CA Nearby Counties: Fresno, Madera Nearby Zips: 93637, 93662, 93711, 93726 Dr. Myron Downing hosts the following groups: Huge Group Therapy FREE! Huge Group Therapy dealing with Depression, Anger Management, Anxiety, PTSD/Flashbacks, Molest, Violence, Abuse, Dissociative Disorders, Relationships, Grief and Loss, Separation and Divorce. For those who want to change their lives and are tired of making the same mistakes over and over in their personal lives and in their relationships. You will learn to be a therapeutic person for yourself and for those you love and care about. Group Details Age: Adults Where: 4141 Ministry 4141 N Fresno St. Fresno, California 93726 When: Every Saturday at 9am - 10:45am Email Dr. Myron Downing about this group or call (559) 403-0758 Print Last Modified: 07 Dec 2011 Searches containing Dr. Myron Downing About | Privacy Policy | Terms | Site Index | Mobile © 2012 Sussex Directories Inc. | Psychology Today is © 2012 Sussex Publishers, LLC Get Found Online! Join The Therapy Directory Today. Sign Up and Get Listed - Group Therapy: Huge Group Therapy Host: Myron K Downing PhD, LMFT "FREE! Huge Group Therapy dealing with Depression, Anger Management, Anxiety, PTSD/Flashbacks, Molest, Violence, Abuse, Dissociative Disorders, Relationships, Grief and Loss, Separation and Divorce. For those who want to change their lives and are ..." Dr. Myron Downing hosts the following groups: Huge Group Therapy FREE! Huge Group Therapy dealing with Depression, Anger Management, Anxiety, PTSD/Flashbacks, Molest, Violence, Abuse, Dissociative Disorders, Relationships, Grief and Loss, Separation and Divorce. For those who want to change their lives and are tired of making the same mistakes over and over in their personal lives and in their relationships. You will learn to be a therapeutic person for yourself and for those you love and care about. - PT: Diagnosis Dictionary http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions Abuse/Neglect Child Abuse Child Neglect Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse Elder or Dependent Adult Neglect Addictions/Substance Abuse Alcohol Abuse Amphetamines Cannabis/Marijuana Co-Occurring Disorders Cocaine Compulsive Gambling Hallucinogens Nicotine Opioids Sedatives Sex and Love Addiction Aging Aging Alzheimer's Disease Delirium Mid-Life Anxiety/Phobia Acute Stress Disorder Adjustment Disorder Agoraphobia Generalized Anxiety Disorder Hypersomnia Insomnia Nightmares Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Panic Disorder Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Separation Anxiety Social Phobia Tourette's Syndrome Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Adult) Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Children) Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Teen) Child/Adolescent Asperger's Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Children) Autism Child Abuse Child Neglect Communication Disorders Depressive Disorders (Children and Adolescents) Encopresis Enuresis Learning Disability Mental Retardation Separation Anxiety Tourette's Syndrome Depression/Mood Bipolar Disorder Cyclothymia Depressive Disorders Dysthymia Postpartum Disorder Seasonal Affective Disorder Dissociation Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) Eating Disorders Anorexia Nervosa Bulimia Nervosa Compulsive Overeating Eating Disorders Obesity Impulse Disorder Intermittent Explosive Disorder Kleptomania Personality Antisocial Personality Disorder Avoidant Personality Disorder Borderline Personality Disorder Histrionic Personality Disorder Malingering Narcissistic Personality Disorder Paranoid Personality Disorder Schizoid Personality Disorder Schizotypal Personality Disorder Psychosis Delusional Disorder Schizophrenia Relationships Bereavement Death and Dying Dependent Personality Disorder Empty Nest Syndrome Mid-Life Sexuality Exhibitionism Fetishism Gender Identity Disorder Orgasmic Disorder Paraphilias Pedophilia Sexual Arousal Disorder Sexual Desire Disorder Sexual Masochism Sexual Pain Disorder Sleep Disorder Hypersomnia Insomnia Nightmares Sleep Apnea Sleepwalking --- 05:51 PP = 3034(!) Made it! YEEHAA. I love meeting goals! make a BIG deal outta it, for me to celebrate me, and my accomplishments. --- So, I'm on the phone with my bosses boss the other day, working on a project (from home on Fridays, yay), and stops and asks this bizarre question... "So how are you, Matt?"... and I told him. no you didn't. but you will, right? So a nap was a good solution to high emotional times, right? good job... sounds like you handled your feelings well. Go see Doc, or if he's full, see Bill Kissee at that same # I gave (above). You know yourself pretty well, when you master your emotions, you're gonna be dynomite! --- 6:01 FB-HB Kim Toth HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Kim! I hope things are going well for you... I'm still on your mail list, so I think of you fondly, when I receive them... cool niche. Take care and enjoy your special day! (and thanks for all you do for the world!) --- Val I haven't spent a penny in the last month bec. I am re-evaluating. I've gone thru 2/3 of that gift money, and have very few results to show for it. I do what to teach the world about EQ, and spent some in that direction... with disappointing results. I have now hired 3 dif. people to make us a video, and have NOTHING to show for it. bizarre. I have done some web SEO, so that our keyword terms shoot to the top of what people are looking for... but again, no results. soooo... (hey, did you know Skip Swies, and instructor from GRC? I talked to him by phone for a half-hour yesterday... most very cool. He (#1) and his wife Marj (#3) just celebrated their 38th anniversary... wow. and he taught his own weekend, Finding the Father, for 15 years. I STILL totally, 100% believe that someday, I'm gonna strike a cord with someone, they're gonna go Holy Krykees, Batman... and 'discover' us, and we will be unstoppable thereafter. A big part of this is about my maturity, or lack thereof, as I am single-handedly handling this entire movement. stuff I'm proud of: - the Facebook ND support group is going GREAT! tons of love, support, encouragement, sharing, feelings, tips, yeehaa, and hugs abounding. love it. 200x - the people who have used the ND tools for a long time, such as me, and you, are Really pretty friggin' Happy, and successful, over all. We have power, we have resilience, we Know we're at choice and we choose to be happy, often. oh, how'z this for a powerful statement... just thot it, while talking to you! Once we take Emotional Responsibility, all other Responsibility falls into place. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) leads to Emotional Responsibility -- Let's teach EVERYONE Emotional Intelligence -- it could change the world from the inside out!! EQ is the 1st step in changing our world for the better! EQ leads to Emotional Responsibility ER leads to Personal Responsibility PR leads to Social Responsibility SR could lead to Social Reform! and a new, more loving, more cooperative, less war-ing, less fighting, less hatred. it's worth a shot, don't you think? or do you have something better to do? oooohhhh lol Let's do this. It's a crisis of spirit. It's a violation of our Emotional Rights part of our Civil Rights, and rights to Freedom. Freedom of speach Freedom of expression. BUT, It MUST be personalized! I feel I believe I have a judgment I assume I expect I am (above looks like I'm givin the finger...lol) respectful and peaceful. disagree all you want. even put your Feelings into your rebuttal. but no NOT confuse/mistake the issue with the person. it's a person. with feelings who happens to disagree with your ideas. it's ok. you're ok. and it's ok if you disagree. it's ok if you live a dif. lifestyle, as long as you're not hurting anyone. --- The Big Book of AA http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm Each chapter is a PDF --- 08:14 printed Gloria's version of brochure backup files go , Orders from Kathy Green on... and 5C that's in the garage and zoo on FRIDAY! Scott, ? Erin 18-24" branches with leaves, a little less than 1/2" David Oglivie 2B, DRIED, branches and leaves, for aroma --- Euc testimonial Hi Matt, I loved what you sent last time, a few 18-24" branches with leaves, a little less than 1/2" thick for my little Budgie bird. She loves them so much! She perches on them and nibbles the leaves---plus they smell so good :) Thanks so Much, Erin --- 11:40 SR door locked! ate out front, changed in hallway to ferry 12 min. nap 12:40 go... beautiful out! 1:30 IMS (no Subway) --- A man of courage is also full of faith. - Marcus Tullius Cicero --- >> write to Christine at UCBerkely re: class/research write to Martin Seligman get bit.ly addresses for video/radio, etc and list on 1 page --- Hi Scott, I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks! I'm outta town working most of this week, so your order will go out on Friday, when I get home. Any special requests? I can send branches up to 3' long, if you'd like some longer ones. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 3:33 sneak out to Subway with CJ to get a sub and a cookie their rasberry cookies are excellent! --- issue at work, working with Jim (as he messed up the measures!) fun 6:55 out to 7:20 ferry dark, and the homeless come out and settle into doorways with their boxes different --- MNF @ marin steelers beat chiefs (yay!) in OT... good game SR apt tired gloria for a bit to bed --- 11.13 05 up LBL a bit EucProducts new gift certs PP = 3124(!) +7x yesterday --- 05:54 wow, I am running my own show/biz. sit back and use your noggin', rather than sitting forward, in fear, madly reacting and connecting. grow up be mature be a man be strong sit back stand tall look people in the eye take up space be seen, and even heard be present be BIG be bold not just show up, STAND up... even if/when you're the only one standing(!) mcp mantra to myself "nobody gives a sh*t but you" I don't mean that in an uncaring way... well, some... but in a way to motivate myself to BE myself. >> Christine Carter GreaterGood 3 Ways to Raise Kind Kids --- Hi Christine! You rock! I love your energy, and I ALWAYS read your stuff when it comes by. Thanks for spreading the word about ENJOYing your kids (and ENJOYing yourself around your kids)! I wanted to introduce myself and I think you'll dig the EQ work we've been doing. My wife Paula and I have been teaching intensive, weekend, breakthrough EQ workshops for over 25 years now... and we have gotten some significant results (see our pages and pages of real-life, unsolicited Testimonials!). I don't wanna brag, because although we're really good at creating an emotionally safe, feelings-based environment, it's not me/us that's the star here... it's EQ! EQ is like MAGIC for healing feelings, dealing with unresolved crap from our past, pain, anger, abuse, molest, depression... even trauma causing PTSD and more. I'm not 'selling' any magic potion and people do NOT need us, or anyone else, or any THING else to heal themselves. It's all about Feelings (and the nasty Belief Systems underlying our feelings). It's about being in touch with, allowing, accepting, expressing, releasing, replacing and rejoicing... it's about making feelings a good thing, not a bad thing... in fact, it turns out that they are THE thing when it comes to Happiness and Success, right? it's so incredible, that I've been screaming from the rooftops... "HEY, EQ Works! Like Magic. Try it... it's totally, completely FREE inside of you. " Every decision we make, every action we take, everything we do or say, is based on both our Thoughts (IQ) and our Feelings (EQ), right? It's a balancing act. BUT, if we're not AWARE of our feelings... if we deny them, and disrespect them, and negate them, and stuff 'em away... they STILL effect/affect us... and thus we end up making decisions based on incomplete information, NOT the whole picture --> IQ + EQ, left-brain + right-brain, intellect and creativity! ... and, as you know, that's not working very well. Some results of bad behavioural decision-making, include: - addictions - violence - abuse - suicide - divorce - neglect - crime - mental health - even war! what if we can TEACH the world another way? What if we can make people AWARE of the whole 'other side' of them that often runs, or takes over, our lives? What if we can SHOW people a happier, more successful way to live? ... and what if we can ENTERTAIN them, Engage them, Follow them and Lead them ... what if we can make the world into one big Team? Ok, it gets better... We've been teaching these courses, mostly in Fresno and Sacramento, with the active involvement of a very cool therapist, Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT. We're working on a new way to do therapy, that more intimately involves feelings and emotions. CBT, by far the most popular therapy modality, is great.... BUT it's limited, 'cause it's Cognitive-Behavioural (left-brain only)... they forgot the Affective part of it (CABT), the right-brain, the core belief systems, the pictures/sounds/smells/tastes and FEELINGS that are stuffed down inside of us, 'cause no one ever acknowledged/cared/paid attention to them! And they DO still effect/affect us, every moment of every day, often WITHOUT our conscious knowledge. Very uncool, and makes for very Poor decision-making. (sorry for all the caps, but I was crying while writing this, and my fingers got carried away >>> This is friggin' Important, and I can't stop screaming from the rooftops that HEY, Happiness is a Choice. We CAN heal our pain! We can feel better. We can all learn to get along. We can be happy, yes, in this lifetime, without gobs of money/fame/love... we create love. We create happy. We learn to appreciate and live, openly and honestly, completely and deeply... because we know our feelings.) so here's how EQ can change the world....from the inside out! we're finding that, as people learn EQ, they mostly have to make this one big shift from: You made/make me angry (or hurt, sad, afraid, guilty, etc). to: I choose to feel angry. and I can change it. This simple shift is called "Emotional Responsibility". EQ leads to Emotional Responsibility. people realize that we do, truly, CREATE our own thoughts, feelings, attitude, beliefs, values, actions/reactions, etc. and we can CREATE any feeling we want to, any time we want. It's most refreshing, and free-ing, and healing, and it's Wonderful news... that we really DO have control over ourselves and our lives. boom. Emotional Responsibility seems to lead, quite naturally, to Personal Responsibility! now that I feel, I want to feel good, by having my sh*t handled and in place I want my finances taken care of, I want to have a place to stay, I need some friends/fam yeah, I better figure out how to do this life thing, to make myself happy and to be happy, I need to be semi-successful, so I'd better figure out how to make that happpen. THEN comes... ... ya know what really seems to make people profoundly happy, is being around others... being a Part of, connected, belonging, a team... heck, most would rather hang with their friends and fam then about anything. And boy, if we can make them smile. If we can ease their burden, even for a minute, to let 'em know we care about them. If we can actually make a dif. in their lives somehow, man, that would feel sooooo good. Wow, this giving stuff really works. Personal Responsibility leads to Social Responsibility! ... and perhaps some day... Social Responsibility could lead to Social Reform. ... and no mo' wo. Soooo...(thanks for reading this far...) We have a 501c3 non-profit called 2GetHelp, Inc. There's a foundation of venture capitalists Draper-Richards-Kaufman across the pond from you in Menlo Park and they fund ideas/movements/passions (like micro-loans thru Kiva.com) that are attempting to change our country, or better yet, the world! We'll be submitting an application to them next month. I would looove to work with them, and you. We, as educators, have been successful in showing people a better/deeper/more fulfilling way to live. We, as parents, have also been very successful (in my opinion) in raising our kids and grandkids to have high EQ, to be feeling-based, kind, empathetic and actively loving... we have 3 adult children and 4 teen grandkids, and they have been THE biggest joy of my life... and all 7 of them have these positive traits! What can we do together? Actually, I know what we need most, is to certify EQ healing/emotional processing work as an "Evidence-based Intervention". Therefore, we need numbers and we need a grad student or two to do a real Study on us, on EQ healing, on CABT. We have a statistically viable EQ testing tool (SEI from 6 Seconds.org-- who, btw, also has the Synapse EQ school for TAG kids in Menlo Park... if you haven't heard of them, check them out, as they're doing really great work academically!). How about if we do some classes in Berkeley, with Berkeley students, being studied by a Berkeley researcher? hmmm... Can we meet/talk some time? Thanks. Best wishes for all you do. - Matt Perelstein, EQ Dude (916) 599-8597 --- >> brochure D-R --- 07:04 Hi. Thanks for your work on this! PayPal shipping fees are set by Weight, not $$ (see attached)... so if the new items have 0 weight, and they still charge shipping, I'll look further/ask. I don't remember the 15% off idea. sounds complicated. How did you envision the process working? How about this... We have a whole page of Gift certs on the main site... the 4 dif. sizes, and 4 subscription sizes (the gift that keeps on giving). When they click the link, it allows them to pay, and gives them a link that they can send to their giftee. The link goes to another page that let's them enter their address and choose between: Leaves, chew sticks, dried, combo, branches, already in the size that was paid for. Once they choose, and hit Submit, it sends me an email with their address and preference. (yes, they could use the link again, but I can watch for duplications). thanks! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Gift Certificates From: Gwen Hovde Date: Mon, November 12, 2012 12:39 pm To: Matt Perelstein Ok, I have 4 added to the top of gift/starter page. Changed button text to Gifts & Starter Packs. On that page you have gift certs, then starter pack, then Gift pack at the bottom, not certain I like the order of that yet but I wanted new product top of page and then next best which would be the starter.Don't know but all are easy to move/migrate elsewhere on the page. We need to correct in Pay Pal items with a weight of 0 to ship free. I have not launched the changes yet but I have the new info for the trial packs (new pricing and size) as well as disclaimer for 15% off all future orders. Can you set up a code in PP that when they use it in correlation to your store it will apply a 15% discount? I think that would be cleaner than adding another discount page if it is doable. Let me know. Then you pass along the code and they use it to get the discounts. Let me know : ) --- tom paula shower go 07:55 --- 09:27 IMS --- There's greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love - posted by VENKATESH KANGOVI NARASIMHAMURTHY --- To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink http://www.danpink.com/tsih-trailer?utm_source=Dan+Pink%27s+Newsletter&utm_campaign=54e8c16c0c-Book_Launch_Team_11_13_2012&utm_medium=email 1 in 9 Americans earn a living in Sales Sales is everywhere Seller beware new approach to moving people not slick or Master: Attunement Boyance Clarity key Abilities: Pitch Improvise Serve --- >> Dinner Gift Certs bought at Auction! >> Elizabeth, EQ-101.2 ppt? --- lunch, by myself (CJ has a meeting) salad/pizza place... got salad... good, and only $6 tried new CC cookie, $2, got CJ one 2:48 Christine Carter Greater@berkeley.edu 4:00 sent e 5:30 out --- >> PLEASE finish the brochure tonight! and get rolling on D-R! please. --- 9:51+ ND Brochure Heal Feel Freedom Purpose Connect Love Grow Let Go Emerge Re-imagine Re-decide Establish We don't 'find' ourselves, we 'create' ourselves. Remove the blockages You can Heal You can do this yourself You can thrive, not just Survive. survival is a drag Landmark says it all doesn't matter, anyway. which is cool, and true, but also kinda bland. if we get to choose (and we do, every second of every day!) between bad, neutural, and good. I almost always choose Good. I like feeling Good. I like when Good things happen. I even like 'spinning' bad into Good. --- >> evaluate IMS insurance changes and suggest to Paula, with options I do not feel a part of, yet. but I'm getting there. it's starting to 'gel', and I have real assignments, and fix real problems, and have Jim's clout to get excellent cooperation, and assistance. sometimes, I like to figure stuff out myself, so I won't ask most often, I don't feel right askin'. anyway, it's fun to ask, and get people to help, and make it fun. way more enjoyable for me. I'd rather work with people than machines I need to understand it all, technically, but I'm not a technician. I'm more of a people person put me in front of customers. My personality profile had me pegged as a 'Politician', by nature charismatic, up, smoothe, win people over with a smile and hand-shake -------- mcp ---------- Be both blessed, and a Blessing. - Randy Gage Be a blessing Be the Change you want to see in others. Be the blessing you want to feel in your life. Be the Person you want your kids, and your friends to see, and learn from Past Present Future He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age. - Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) --- 11:27 going to a workshop intro night tomorrow with Tom 75 Broadway, at 7 --- 11:37 to bed --- 11.14 05:42 up (had alarm set for 0400, switched to 0500 cleaned bandcamp a bit, pooped(!) please do the brochure. thx I love starting things, but going BACK to FINISH something I already started, is like horrid for me. I'm a Crusader(!) On a Crusade for EQ. --- 06:19 LI-EIN 12/4 (stopped the US/non-US research... don't care... got my point across, to me.) it's well over 50% non-US. I don't have the numbers but trust me with this. Frank S. commented on How can you use emotional intelligence to cope with a bullying boss? " One of the best pieces of advise I was given ( although it was not given as advise at the time) was "I can't help the way you feel". So in this context " I can't help the fact that you feel bullied" What I subsequently learnt is that he was not clever with words and what he had meant to say was " I can't help the way you are choosing to feel" ( although he thought it was clever to say such a thing without explanation! How we are feeling is a choice so I'd explain that you can choose to feel something different. If you wish to tackle it head on then remember that it is the action (of bullying) which you dislike, not the person bullying you, never confuse the two. When you have learnt to respect the person you will react differently towards them and this will change their actions towards you. Sounds easy, doesn't it? " less… 7 minutes ago Approve• Delete • See Frank S.'s activity » --- new MCP convention/standard \images and \docs is being combined into C:\~stuff\ C:\~mcp ~mcp.txt and ~mcp_.txt C:\2GetHelp --- 07:35 Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello! My name is Jane Schuette and as an image consultant, I work with a variety of private and public sector organizations, mostly in the area of self-awareness and communication. Along with using Lumina Spark, a personality trait instrument based on the 5 Factor-model, my work is built upon the benefits of positivity. My interest in EQ goes back twenty years when I was an educator for gifted children. I saw the need for helping students and teachers understand and develop emotional intelligence. It was obvious that low IQ was not an issue in their success. The problem was not being able to connect emotionally with others in a positive and affirming manner. I am joining the EQ Forum to learn in what ways EQ discussions have changed and more about EQ Best Practices. I feel that this forum will aid my life-long learning journey and add helpful information to my image consulting business. Posted by Jane Schuette --- MNB's 35-page CV. damn some typos, no mention of ND 07:45 go... 08:15 FIRST one to be turned away from ferry to bus, no prob. got entire last seat, again! worked on ND brochure, handwritten bus driver took a bizarre route past the piers, took 15 min. longer! --- , open enrollment today! pass --- IMS paychecks (going down!) I gross over $7k, and bring home under well under $5k 2012-11-15 Med-Vantage, Inc 11/01/2012 11/15/2012 $2439.53 685096 2012-10-31 Med-Vantage, Inc 10/16/2012 10/31/2012 $2518.97 682902 2012-10-15 Med-Vantage, Inc 10/01/2012 10/15/2012 $2518.98 680044 2012-09-28 Med-Vantage, Inc 09/16/2012 09/30/2012 $2495.22 677873 2012-09-14 Med-Vantage, Inc 09/01/2012 09/15/2012 $2656.81 675380 2012-09-14 Med-Vantage, Inc 09/01/2012 09/15/2012 $1235.00 675381 2012-08-31 Med-Vantage, Inc 08/16/2012 08/31/2012 $2509.00 81684 - changed # of withholdings from 4 to 9. 2012-11-15 401k is now on! Current YTD 401K Pre Tax Matched 106.25 106.25 401K Pre Tax Matched $53.13 $53.13 total $160 so, $160/paycheck x 19 checks 'til Aug. (my 1 yr 'sentence') = $3k(!) BEFORE-TAX DEDUCTIONS Description Current YTD Anthem BCBS PPO 165.51 662.04 Delta Dental PPO 23.02 92.08 401K Pre Tax Matched 106.25 106.25 Transit Pre Tax 50.50 252.50 AFTER-TAX DEDUCTIONS Legal 6.75 27.00 Employee Paid Optional Term Lf 11.05 44.20 Child Term Life 0.60 2.40 Family Voluntary Group Accidnt 0.53 2.12 Spouse Term Life 6.30 25.20 Long Term Disability 7.79 31.16 EMPLOYER PAID BENEFITS Employee Paid Optional Term Lf* -1.28 -5.12 Company Paid Basic Life* 4.03 16.12 401K Pre Tax Matched 53.13 53.13 --- Benefits Summary (before) Type of Benefit Plan Description Coverage or Participation Voluntary Group Accident Voluntary Group Acc Family $50,000 Short-Term Disability Short Term Disability 70% of Salary Optional Term Life Optional Term Life 1X Salary X 1 Optional Spouse Life Spouse Term Life $20,000 $20,000 Medical Anthem BCBS PPO Employee + 2 Long-Term Disability Long Term Disability 66.67% of Salary Legal Assistance Plan Legal Employee Only Health Savings Account Waived Health Care Flex Spending Acct Waived Dependent Care Flex Spend Acct Waived Dental Delta Dental PPO Employee + 2 Company Paid Basic Company Paid Basic Life Salary X 1 Child Life Child Term Life $10,000 Business Travel Accident Business Travel Accident Salary X 5 401K Pre Tax Unmatched 401K Pre Tax Unmatched Not Contributing 401K Pre Tax Matched 401K Pre Tax Matched 3% Before Tax 401K Post Tax Unmatched 401K Post Tax Unmatched Not Contributing 401K Post Tax Matched 401K Post Tax Matched Not Contributing 401K Catch Up Contribution 401K Catch Up Contribution Not Contributing New Benefits: - Medical You have chosen Anthem PPO No Surcharge with Employee + 2 coverage. Anthem PPO No Surcharge By selecting this plan, you certify that a) if you are including a spouse in your coverage, your spouse does not have access to medical coverage through his/her own employer, and b) that neither you, nor anyone else included in your coverage uses tobacco. Employee Only $61.33 Before-Tax Employee + 1Dependent $123.40 Before-Tax * Employee + 2 $188.53 Before-Tax Employee + 3 or more $212.30 Before-Tax - Vision Yes EyeMed Select Vision Plan Allows use of in or out of network providers. Plan covers routine eye exams along with coverage for glasses and contact lenses. Coverage Level Your Costs Tax Class Employee Only $2.54 Before-Tax Employee + 1Dependent $5.08 Before-Tax *Employee + 2 $7.62 Before-Tax Employee + 3 or more $10.16 Before-Tax - Dental (no change) Dental Before Tax After Tax Current: Delta Dental PPO:Emp+2 New: Delta Dental PPO:Emp+2 23.02 - Spouse Life Coverage Level Your Cost Tax Class 5.15 + After-Tax * Spouse Term Life $10,000 ( $10,000) * 10.30 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $20,000 ( $20,000) * 15.45 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $30,000 ( $30,000) * 20.60 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $40,000 ( $40,000) * 25.75 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $50,000 ( $50,000) * 30.90 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $60,000 ( $60,000) * 36.05 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $70,000 ( $70,000) * 41.20 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $80,000 ( $80,000) * 46.35 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $90,000 ( $90,000) * 51.50 + After-Tax Spouse Term Life $100,000 ( $100,000) - Enrollment Summary Medical Before Tax After Tax Current: Anthem BCBS PPO:Emp+2 New: Anthem PPO No Surcharge:Emp+2 188.53 Dental Before Tax After Tax Current: Delta Dental PPO:Emp+2 New: Delta Dental PPO:Emp+2 23.02 Vision Before Tax After Tax Current: No Coverage New: EyeMed Select Vision Plan:Emp+2 7.62 Company Paid Basic Before Tax After Tax Current: Co Pd Life: Salary X 1 New: Co Pd Life: Salary X 1 : $85,000 Optional Term Life Before Tax After Tax Current: OTL1X: Salary X 1 New: OTL1X: Salary X 1 : $85,000 11.05 Optional Spouse Life Before Tax After Tax Current: Spouse Term Life $20,000: $20,000 New: Spouse Term Life $20,000: $20,000 10.30 Child Life Before Tax After Tax Current: Child Term Life: $10,000 New: Child Term Life: $10,000 0.60 Voluntary Group Accident Before Tax After Tax Current: Voluntary Group Acc Family: $50,000 New: Voluntary Group Acc Family: $50,000 0.53 Long-Term Disability Before Tax After Tax Current: Long Term Disability: 66.67% of Salary New: Long Term Disability: 66.67% of Salary 7.79 Legal Assistance Plan Before Tax After Tax Current: Legal:Empl Only New: Legal:Empl Only 6.75 Health Care Flex Spending Acct Before Tax After Tax Current: Waive New: Waive 0.00 Dependent Care Flex Spend Acct Before Tax After Tax Current: Waive New: Waive 0.00 Health Savings Account Before Tax After Tax Current: Waive New: Waive 0.00 This table summarizes estimated costs for your new benefit choices. Election Summary Summarized estimates for new Benefit Elections Total Before Tax After Tax Costs 256.19 219.17 37.02 Your Costs 256.19 219.17 37.02 - Authorize Elections By submitting your benefit choices you are authorizing the company to take deductions from your paycheck to pay for your benefit costs. You are also authorizing the Benefits Department to send necessary personal information to your selected providers to initiate and support your coverage. This Website is a summary of the IMS Health Benefit program. If there is a discrepancy between this web site and the official plan document, the plan document will always govern. IMS Health reserves the right to change or terminate these plans at any time. This web site is in no way intended to constitute a contract of employment. - Open Enrollment Mathew Perelstein You have already submitted your choices to the Benefits Department, however, your elections have not yet been finalized. Therefore you may make additional changes. Make sure you complete all your changes during this session. --- Tricia Borg (SF/Chicago/Harvard) 4156244376 MVDell9-64bit\QA1 MV_RESULTS Hi Jimmy – Which tables should I be looking for (was thinking denom_final and num_final?) and what should I be looking for there? The records are substantially null except for the ‘values’ field – sum that? Thanks – Tricia - Not really, sorry. I was asked to make some simple changes/fixes to each measure, but know nada about validating them. I do know that these are pretty straightforward, just giving a single number (Value) at the end. So, yeah, SUMming the responses sounds correct. --- PP = 3064 +3x today +3x yesterday +7x day before -180 USPS -41 1SC --- 6pm out to 75 Broadway with Tom O' to see about a workshop (know nothing about it!) --- Analysis of Google Analytics stats for Oct. - Nov., 2012 - Almost 1,000 visits in a month is wonderful (IMHO)! - Over half were New visitors, so that's even better. - 1/3 came from Google searches... which means we're pretty easy to find. I can check into specific search terms that were used later - 1/5 came from eblasts... decent. - 1/5 came directly (they typed in MendocinoFilmFestival.org) - only 4% came from Facebook (plenty of opportunity for improvement here) - 2% came from film.ca.gov (??) - 1.5% came from Mendocino.com (who I've never heard of... we should pursue) - none, 0% came from VMC (not good)! of course, visits spiked over last weekend most people visited more than one page, not just the homepage (that's good) I love our site and it can still be improved. Is that what you were looking for? - Matt --- 1:29 Yep, I usually leave between 7 & 8, but I can adjust it earlier, if you need. Also, I can come pick you up at your house, since I go on 128. Are you going to Sunnyvale? looking forward to the time together. - Matt >> AnnW's going to Berkeley with me on Monday! --- 5pm IMS out --- --- 11.16 Mindfulness (IQ) + Heartfulness (EQ) = Fulness (LOL!!) What do you think? AND What do you feel? ID Experience Seperation Management Conscious AND Conscience ("How does that feel?" "Not good!") --- There's certainly an "I" in MY teams! Spin it' to Win it! Adjust your BS until they work, for you and others - EQ Every time a feeling is examined, and respected, that's EQ. Anywhere there's conscious love. Every smile (well, most smiles). Most hugs. All compassion, and empathy. EQ is a Belief EQ is a Thought EQ is a LifeStyle EQ is a Language EQ is a Concept EQ is a Skill EQ is a Pain EQ is aLive! Mindfulness Thoughtfulness Compassion Connection Communication Empathy Love Passion Intimacy Joy --- D-R EQ Healing/Mental Health Kids in School ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Human Resources Business and Sales ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Medical / Healthcare Success / Results ~ACE~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Prisons / Criminal Justice If we can teach EQ to the masses (which we can) that could change everything! We may be able to create a foundational shift in human consciousness. EQ is magic, and we have the wand! Help me use it wisely, effectively and lovingly. - One person with high EQ can change an entire team/group/family! - LETting your feel -- finally, completely, unashamedly -- is SUCH a Relief! Break Through And Break Out! of your own man-/woman-made emotional prison. We limit ourselves... and We can set ourselves FREE! --- PP = 3136 +3 today +4 orders yesterday +6 day before -150 Landmark -9 24hr clicking Payments received in PP doesn't nec. give them ALL(!) update the date range and refresh the page to get all --- You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path. - Steve Jobs "Life is not about perfection - or a quest for perfection. Life is about enjoying what we have - for as long as we have it." - Jonathan Lockwood Huie --- 10:15 - 1:00 IMS --- Euc Testimonial My babies love the leaves. -KH --- The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises. - Leo Buscaglia --- 3pm Euc hunting --- 3:45 back to IMS - - When copying rows outta a table in SQL Server, you can use right-click Copy or Copy with Headers (field names)... nice! --- copied \MyPics\~People (1.7Gb) to new thumbdrive and phone drive and copied some of my favorite music, to phone drive, too. (gobs of room left) --- 5:42 FB-NDG Ok, so I'm working on our application for foundation funding, and after 3 pages of giving the many benefits, examples, and research, and explaining how EQ could lead to social reform by changing our world from the inside out, I'm thinking of ending it like this... "EQ is like magic, and we have the wand. Please help us use it wisely, effectively and lovingly." Whatchathink?? --- 6pm meet everyone at RiteAid - Boatyard to go thru pics and print a collage for Charlotte PR, PKP, SarahB., Bri, Tracy, Sean fun got some good ones. copied Tracy's to mine --- The Alive Academy Every emotion we have creates a physical reaction in our body. Our emotions and thoughts can literally heal or destroy our cells. Our thoughts, feelings and behaviors have are physical in bth the Universe & our Bodies — with Shila Monica Gomes. --- I Cry, Therefore I Am http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/opinion/sunday/i-cry-therefore-i-am.html Surveys estimate that 85 percent of women and 73 percent of men report feeling better after shedding tears. --- worked on 2GH brochure --- 10:09 pack and go... off to Sac in MH Rachel and I drove all night(!) wonderful time together! 06:05 Costco/Michaels/Target in Woodland nappage 08:30 up, shopping drive to Elk Grove Walgreen's in Elk Grove to copy pic Paula and Rachel made a calendar with pics of each of us AND a big collage. 11ish Charlotte's Jackie and Blaise Heather and Wayne doggies good pics Charlotte's doing ok. mind's fine body is falling apart Jackie lives there Blaise come daily Arden Mall PKP to Jo-Ann's Fabrics us to Mall PR, Sarah B., Bri and I (pics) R's Lori and Robert Steven - Scrabble KT hangin' with her 'girlfriend' Kaylee (and ignoring us) --- 11.18 2 crash in MH table/bed IS long enuf for me -- Yeehaa! 07:30 up to Robin's, R-ball! we lost in doubles to Jess and __ then I lost, twice, to Robin in singles then we lost again, to Sean and Frank (14-15)... when we were up 13-9... dammit. shower, go. R's 11ish Big 5 new all-black, zip-up, training boots! snowboard boots and jacket for Sarah B. Michaels Target In -n- Out just Sarah B. and Bri birds flying in formation! drove home everyone awake. nice unload Bri and I do about 20 Euc orders take girls home talk to AK for a bit, very nice home couch --- 11.19 05:30 up, espn (NFL week 10), shower 07 go! in Toy car 07:20 Pickup Ann Walker(!) at her house in Mendo very nice drive just missed 10:10 ferry starbucks 11:10 ferry IMS stand up call (using her ear plugs) subway 12:20ish work frustrating day, not knowing how to proceed 6:08 downstairs 6:16 (8 min) made 6:20 ferry Marin B. Chris, sinus surgery salesman, Johnson and Johnson 9ers creamed the Bears 30-7 rib eye sandwhich, Chibata, sweet potato fries -- yum! room new fridge and desk section(!) got internet without repeater kinda buzzed and tired from 4 short nights 9ish crashed IN A *stationary* BED --- 11.20 03:33 alarm 05:15 up (oh well) no wireless, at all, even with repeater silly box... reboot? confusion with Mobile Hotspot on my phone *Droid Bionic get brochure done don't go to marin tonight. nothing on, getting habitual, and I have work to do... dammit. raining still no rain jacket Natalie W. Jones commented on How do you teach Emotional Intelligence to pre-teen kids? "Hi Trent: Like Michelle, I use the Second Step curriculum with 7th and 8th grade students in social skills groups. (My co-worker teaches the curriculum in the 6th grade history classes and facilitates groups with those students.) The curriculum covers the key points of SEL: self-awareness, empathy, emotion management and social skills. Role-playing is important as it provides an opportunity for the students to practice real-life situations by using assertiveness, conflict resolution/perspective-taking and problem solving skills. One challenge for most of the students is learning to respond, rather than react, when faced with stressful situations. Are they going to stop and think in order to respond? Or will they behave based on their feelings (react)? Will they view their situation with optimism and hope? Or will they jump to conclusions? Making this distinction and actually following through with it takes a great deal of practice. ----------------- mcp ------------- Recently, we discussed the quote "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." They learned that they have control over 90% of their lives just by how they choose to respond. When they respond in a positive manner, they are more likely to reach their goals and enjoy more positive relationships at school, work and their personal lives. --- LI-EIN To me, 'over-reacting' means that something about our current situation triggers feelings or situations in our past that we haven't resolved, and feelings 'erupt'. When feelings go up, logic goes down. When the feelings get so big we can't even think, we say and do things that don't 'make sense'. EQ is about recognizing that our fire is being feuled, being able to stop/regulate ourselves (for at least 6 seconds!), and knowing how to add some 'sense' (IQ) to our strong emotions (EQ). IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- 06:36 Support group call tomorrow, 7pm, if you wanna join us. Happy almost Turkey-day! --- 06:45 Meghann Bartlett Hoard Hey Matt , My family and I are camping at Casper Beach (wed-sun) I hear you and Paula live near there... It would be great to see you guys! 530-409/8020 Meg - How cool! So you're spending turkey-day camping... good for you! Yes, we live RIGHT near there... about a mile, maybe 2. YES, let's get together, either Friday or Saturday. My cell is (916) 599-8597. Yeehaa... excited to see you, and meet the fam (you were a dink, the last time I saw you... now you're a wife and mom... wow). --- The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. - Joseph Campbell When you are in the valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb. - Denis Waitley --- A+B =C where A = Adversity, B is Beliefs and C is Consequences ( feelings, actions. .) If we can explore / challenge B, and change B, then C will change! Think about it! Are your beliefs serving u well or getting u down! 'Accurate optimism' is key to realizing our best potential! Pessimism makes us quit where optimism keeps us going. Does this make sense to u ? Would u like to learn more about this ? - Sanjoli it is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary. Charisma distracts, destructs, and rewards the wrong leaders. --- Shortstuff875@yahoo.com Hi Kim, I'm sorry to see you go! Is it something I did or didn't do, that caused you to cancel? Hope things are well for you and yours. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Take care. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LI CJ Butcher endorsed me 500+ connections --- 07:20 get dressed, call pkp, and go. raining (first time) 08:18 08:20 ferry! STOPped raining... very nice. walked with Ian from URS. --- PP = 3010 -60 Google -25 Marin B -10 Best Buy (ins. for PR's phone) --- Meditation Appears to Produce Enduring Changes in Emotional Processing in the Brain http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121112150339.htm ScienceDaily (Nov. 12, 2012) — A new study has found that participating in an 8-week meditation training program can have measurable effects on how the brain functions even when someone is not actively meditating. In their report in the November issue of Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, investigators at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), Boston University (BU), and several other research centers also found differences in those effects based on the specific type of meditation practiced. Keywords: Yoga Meditation Brain Fitness Neuroscience Psychology See Also: Health & Medicine Nervous System Psychology Research Fitness Mind & Brain Spirituality Neuroscience Disorders and Syndromes Living Well Reference Functional neuroimaging Alpha wave Meditation Amygdala "The two different types of meditation training our study participants completed yielded some differences in the response of the amygdala -- a part of the brain known for decades to be important for emotion -- to images with emotional content," says Gaëlle Desbordes, PhD, a research fellow at the Athinoula A. Martinos Center for Biomedical Imaging at MGH and at the BU Center for Computational Neuroscience and Neural Technology, corresponding author of the report. "This is the first time that meditation training has been shown to affect emotional processing in the brain outside of a meditative state." Several previous studies have supported the hypothesis that meditation training improves practitioners' emotional regulation. While neuroimaging studies have found that meditation training appeared to decrease activation of the amygdala -- a structure at the base of the brain that is known to have a role in processing memory and emotion -- those changes were only observed while study participants were meditating. The current study was designed to test the hypothesis that meditation training could also produce a generalized reduction in amygdala response to emotional stimuli, measurable by functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). Participants had enrolled in a larger investigation into the effects of two forms of meditation, based at Emory University in Atlanta. Healthy adults with no experience meditating participated in 8-week courses in either mindful attention meditation -- the most commonly studied form that focuses on developing attention and awareness of breathing, thoughts and emotions -- and compassion meditation, a less-studied form that includes methods designed to develop loving kindness and compassion for oneself and for others. A control group participated in an 8-week health education course. Within three weeks before beginning and three weeks after completing the training, 12 participants from each group traveled to Boston for fMRI brain imaging at the Martinos Center's state-of-the-art imaging facilities. Brain scans were performed as the volunteers viewed a series of 216 different images -- 108 per session -- of people in situations with either positive, negative or neutral emotional content. Meditation was not mentioned in pre-imaging instructions to participants, and investigators confirmed afterwards that the volunteers had not meditated while in the scanner. Participants also completed assessments of symptoms of depression and anxiety before and after the training programs. In the mindful attention group, the after-training brain scans showed a decrease in activation in the right amygdala in response to all images, supporting the hypothesis that meditation can improve emotional stability and response to stress. In the compassion meditation group, right amygdala activity also decreased in response to positive or neutral images. But among those who reported practicing compassion meditation most frequently outside of the training sessions, right amygdala activity tended to increase in response to negative images -- all of which depicted some form of human suffering. No significant changes were seen in the control group or in the left amygdala of any study participants. "We think these two forms of meditation cultivate different aspects of mind," Desbordes explains. "Since compassion meditation is designed to enhance compassionate feelings, it makes sense that it could increase amygdala response to seeing people suffer. Increased amygdala activation was also correlated with decreased depression scores in the compassion meditation group, which suggests that having more compassion towards others may also be beneficial for oneself. Overall, these results are consistent with the overarching hypothesis that meditation may result in enduring, beneficial changes in brain function, especially in the area of emotional processing." Eric Schwartz, PhD, of the BU Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering and Center for Computational Neuroscience and Neural Technology, is senior author of the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience report. Additional co-authors are Lobsang T. Negi, PhD, and Thaddeus Pace, PhD, Emory University; Alan Wallace, PhD, Santa Barbara Institute for Consciousness Studies; and Charles Raison, MD, University of Arizona College of Medicine. The study was supported by grants from the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, including an American Recovery and Reinvestment Act grant to Boston University. --- BMI: Body Mass Index Table 1 http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/bmi_tbl.htm 72", 240lbs, BMI = 33 Obese drop to 220 to get out of high-risk obese category --- LBL Error in Outlook E's Orderby LastName, Firstname cSQL = "SELECT zEffortEmails.[Employee Number], First(zEffortEmails.[Last Name]) AS [Last Name], First(zEffortEmails.[First Name]) AS [First Name], First(Email) AS Email1, First([Supervisors Email]) AS SupervisorsEmail, First(EmailComments) AS EmailComments1 " & _ " FROM zEffortEmails " & _ " GROUP BY [Employee Number] " & _ " ORDER BY First(zEffortEmails.[Last Name]), First(zEffortEmails.[First Name]) " - Hi James, Once again, we're trying to make mods to the PAD database in production and someone has left their connection open so we cannot. Davina asked everyone to get out, so we may need your help in kicking them out, as you did before. The database is located at: T:\AccessDB\2010 Desktop Copies PAD.accdb is the DB, while PAD.laccdb is the security file that (I believe) needs to be deleted. Thanks for your help. It's important that this gets done tomorrow early. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 5:24 out, and WFH tomorrow (yay!) --- 11.21 06:36 Home. here --- mcp testimonial Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Is there any such thing as 'over reacting?' All around you, how do u see this in action? Does it serve us well ? Hello all, I am new to the group and delighted to be a part of such stimulating discussions. My background is in emotionally focused relationship counselling and my area of speciality is helping new parents adjust to the emotional and relationship changes that come with starting a family. Great question Sanjoli. I agree with you Matt, when I feel myself "over-reacting" to a situation (or my partner points it out to me :) and I take the time to go inwards and ask myself what it's really about, I find it's tapping into some old, sometimes familiar stuff, and then I try to set aside some time and space to explore that. When working with my clients I invite them to do the same, it's a great opportunity for us to learn about ourselves (or our partner) at a deeper level. Posted by Elly Taylor --- Yael Stark It is amazing to see, over and over again, how you attract people ( and things) into your life. When I was 21 I walked along Oxford St and Regent St entering each shop to ask if they needed sales assistant, one shop said yes and a year later a lady entered that shop, saw my smile ( yes, it was always there) approached me and after a short conversation offered me to work with her and look into a partnership in her business in Covent Garden. I grabbed the opportunity and never looked back.. My Pebble, my friends, business colleagues, intimate relationships: all those I didn't chase, I transmitted something to them and they came to me.. Every morning when I wake up I think about my transmission to the universe.. - Matt Perelstein Beautiful attitude and energy, Yael! Way to go. You do have a wonderfully real, inviting nature about you. I've had the same experience with things/people/life 'coming to me' without me chasing them. I 'chase' only one thing, and that is the global awareness of EQ in our lifetime! Best wishes as you continue your excellent journey! --- Don't let the best you have done so far be the standard for the rest of your life. Gustavus - F. Swift (1839 - 1903) Here's an excellent EQ-centered quote from one of our newest members(!): "Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human." - Anthony Robbins you are part of a Larger Whole, and you are never, ever alone. "In the midst of the flurry - clarity. In the midst of the storm - calm. In the midst of divided interests - certainty. In the many roads - a certain choice." - Mary Anne Radmacher --- 1-2 nappage --- Euc Testimonial Got them today, they are going crazy, couldn't hardly get the first branch in the cage and they were grabbing and pulling :-) - VM in VA --- MMF, Nancy Harris is going to work for North Coast Brewing! Festival Presenting Sponsor(?) nancyh@mcn.org Hey Nancy, Sorry to see you go from MMF, but North Coast sounds great for you! They're growing like crazy, so what a cool opportunity (plus, I reeeeally like their products :) I'll see you 'round Fort Bragg. Best wishes with it all! - Matt --- 3:33 The IMS VDI now includes a connection to any USB devices I insert while it's running... so I can copy directly from here to there, or there to here(!). Most very cool! --- Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology (Feb. 2004, 23:45) http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html email: marty@apa.org Positive Psychology Center University of Pennsylvania 11th reason to be optimistic editor of Discover told us 10 of them DSM-IV of 500+ mental health illnesses 60 years ago, none of the disorders were treatable 14 are now treatable 2 are now curable make miserable people less miserable repairing damange healing pathology became victimologists improving normal lives make relatively untroubled people happier, more fulfilled, more productive genius and high talent positive interventions to make people happier strengths and values causation of a strength ---------- mcp ---------- extremely happy people are extremely social! romantic relationship relationships 120 interventions proposed that make people happy Efficacy and effectiveness 3 lives - a Pleasant Life (PA) as many pleasures as you can learning skills that amplify them over time and space drawbacks: positive emotion is heritable, not very 15-20% tricks Habituates, like French Vanilla not maleable - a Good Life (engagement) work, play, love positive affectivity pleasure (thot and feelings) vs. Flow (can't feel, time stops, intense concentration) knowing your highest strengths are recraft your life to use them - a Meaningful Life most venerable of the 3 knowing what your highest strengths are use them in service of things bigger than you what lastingly changes lives in these 3 ways long-term studies mindfulness skills and savory skills design yourself a beautiful day Gratitude Visit close eyes, remember someone who did something enormously important who changed your lives write a 300-word testimonial, meet with them, read it to them tested happier and less depressed, even months later fun vs. philantropy do something altruistic fun, square wave, wears off philantropic lasts! Life Satisfaction to what extend does the pursuit of pleasure contribute to life satisfaction pursuit of pleasure is less meaning is most! effects... productivity? Health? morbidity? YES technology, entertainment and design can be used in destructive ways relieving misery vs. if not depressessed, then happy? not nec. dif. skills! and can be made to make positive increase happiness increase positive emotion entertainment CAN create: flow, meaning --- Teamwork for Ann Orders USPS P Safeway Todd's Point for ND Support call Home Robin Hood, for a few moments --- 11.22 5-8 up, toobin' and poopin' and taped doggie door Kelly Sellinen 707-206-8196 --- lottery winners vs. paraplegic The Impact Bias Hedonic help people accept the things you cannot change the irreversible condition is not conducive to the synthesis of happiness choose Reversible "Tis nothing good or bad, 'tis thinking make it so." - Shakespeare let 'em choose. --- "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the universe. - Neale Donald Walsch Now may every living thing, young or old, weak or strong, living near or far, known or unknown, living or departed or yet unborn, may every living thing be full of bliss. - Buddha (5th century BC) --- >> go talk to Daisy about EQ/EI --- LI-EIN Happy Thanksgiving to and from the US!! I THANK YOU for being here in the group with us exploring the magic of EQ! so join us in our mission to teach others the critical EQ concepts, choices and skills. I hope you've read enough by now to share our belief that Emotional Intelligence may very well change the world, from the inside out! We are truly blessed to know what we know, so join us in our mission to teach others the critical EQ concepts, choices and skills. I feel blessed to know what I know about the critical Emotional Intelligence concepts, choices and skills, as they have totally transformed my work and life! It is my belief that EQ may very well change the world, from the inside out! I hope you will join me/us in our mission to share adding right-brain feelings to left-brain intellect to make better decisions, in less pain, and create fuller, more successful lives. I'm feel blessed to know what I know about the critical Emotional Intelligence concepts, choices and skills, as they have totally transformed my work and life! In fact, it is my belief that EQ may very well change the world, from the inside out! I hope you will join me/us in our mission to share how adding right-brain feelings (EQ) to left-brain intellect (IQ) helps us make better decisions, feel less pain and anger, and create fuller, more successful, more satisfying lives. --- heal the past heal the pain find out the Unconscious parts of you. Remove your limits --- , orders from Cheryl Bates on Callaghan, 2D, a week late already! 1 MA karen seeds --- mcp testimonial 09:36 LI-EIN LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Thank you Elly - and many others. Like you, I found most LI groups were clogged with spam and promotion... so we're attempting to be fairly brutal in moderation... it takes a lot of time, but the result is a forum that's mostly content!!! A big Thank You for this work goes to Matt Perelstein, who does the lion's share of the moderating. :) Elly, I'm curious about your book title! Maybe you could tell me more off-group: josh@6seconds.org Posted by Joshua Freedman --- if your life was a book, and you were the author, how would you like the story to go? --- 10:30 Hi Nancy (and Frankie)! HAPPY TURKEY DAY! I wanted to get you the phone number of a friend/graduate who, I believe, will do excellent, careful, thorough work for you in cleaning Seahorse. She's expecting your call sometime. Kelly Cook 707-206-8196 gobble, gobble =:^) - Matt --- success = helps others and makes you feel better, at the same time cannot have just one of these... you need BOTH! To establish a place of work where engineers can feel the joy of technological innovation, be aware of their mission to society, and work to their heart's content. - Masuru Ibuka, Sony's "Purposes of Incorporation" --- 10:44 Hey you... HAPPY TURKEY DAY! YES, our trip was most enjoyable for me, too! As I believe I told you, you were one of the main reasons I joined MFF, as I have the utmost respect for how you many things you handle, with such competence and grace, while keeping a wonderfully positive attitude to the work and the people. You've been a role model for me... thank you for that! So, we ended up talking a bunch about emotional intelligence (EQ) (my favorite subject... could you tell?!?), and I already transcribed the 'sound byte' notes you wrote down. We discussed a TED talk where they studied the motivation for successful teams... here it is. Michael Norton: How to buy happiness http://www.ted.com/talks/michael_norton_how_to_buy_happiness.html Here are a few more faves re: EQ at work: Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html Martin Seligman: The state of psychology http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html http://www.AuthenticHappiness.org Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html Sony's "Purposes of Incorporation", by Masuru Ibuka "To establish a place of work where engineers can feel the joy of technological innovation, be aware of their mission to society, and work to their heart's content. If you know anyone who is working in any of these areas, to bring the 'magic' of EQ to the world, please introduce us. Take care and I'll see you 'round! - Matt --- wow, how could she jump from you, to Marrying him, that fast... not a recipe for success. Way to go, taking care of yourself, by creating closure... high EQ marks 4U! That musta been hard. How did she take it/respond/explain? you don't sound as down and hopeless as last time, so I'm happy to see that. Hang in there... relationships are primary, but they're not everything. Find a purpose, that's bigger than you, and grab on... a noble goal... it feels great, and helps put/keep things in perspective! --- Miles smiles. Miles and miles of smiles and smiles. Piles of Miles smiles, stay awhile, won't you? miles smiles vile a while for a while whiles defiles guile piles living books get people involved create social media games would make a great Reaility TV, the best have people share their story then watch them, and root for them, as they cry/scream out their pain then recover and release, and heal, right in front of your eyes! the possibilities are endless journals book stories in a searchable, sharing format where people can contribute, and tell their story, what worked, what didn't advice NOT their judgements --- Wholesale? http://www.thebirdsupplystore.com/ sell in store 100 birds in sanctuary stock in storefront 10 acres attachments real thing means you did something to it... not just a branch outta my yard. moisture Paula let's do some business, Paula!! - Matt www.EucProducts.com Paypal = matt@2gethelp.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: From: Date: Thu, November 22, 2012 11:26 am To: Please send information on how to purchase wholesale for my store. You can reach me on my cell 862-268-3059 Thank you Rte 23 LLC Aka The Bird Supply Store 22 East Main Street Sussex, New Jersey 07461 www.thebirdsupplystore.com --- Turkey-day dinner at Tracy/Sean's very nice this time! all 4 kiddos, Big G, Carson, PR/Josh/Leela/Ernie/Shannah, Jen/Pat/Teri (some pics) 6 home NFL? nope, crash! --- 11.23 03:33 up, NFL, 4 poops (so far) a bit of "Bringing Down the House", again! 04:56 ------------ mcp ----------------- "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it." - Michelangelo When it becomes too cold to be outside with nature, bring her inside through your meditation. challenges are what you came for. And you are never, ever, given a challenge you cannot overcome. All that mankind has done, thought, or been is lying in magic preservation in the pages of books. - Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881) --- I feel joyful, and thankful, and encouraged this morning. life is good. I've healed a ton of my childhood pain. I have a wonderful family, and life. I have purpose and meaning and know why I get outta bed everyday. I have friends, and family and people who I love, and who love me. the country/world is moving in a positive direction. good news doesn't sell as well. but let's report it, anyway. report on all things EQ. healing connecting journaling posting local 2gh resources what's worked/hasn't judgments / praise grateful for / pissed about recommendations / warnings reality tv most powerful, and effective, emotional support site every created languages 2GH/2VH 2GHTC I gotta start D-R over, again. --- MSWord can help us write XML try it as an XML editor --- way to go, E... making your boundaries known and being so clear. In order to have close relationships, we gotta have the tough conversations... so being brave is a part of high EQ! You could try the Pre-conversation, where we first ask for permission/agreement/timing to broach a potentially touchy/emotional subject... or, you can also just play it off, and make it fun/funny... "Dude, you're not getting any tonight, so put your tongue back in your mouth, and let's get to know each other first, k?" lol... something like that! (oh, i crack myself up!). I am sooo proud of all of us, too... cause we got the EQ thing goin' on, big time! I'll bet this group, and us NDers, have about the highest functional EQ than about any one anywhere! Lots of people talk about EQ, and can discuss it cognitively, but we DO IT, and live it, and feel it, and have for some time now... and EQRocks, don't you think?!? --- yeah, thanks for the great dinner! You guys can sure put on a spread... and hecka-good ham, turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole... and the topper... wicked good cinnamon rolls! yum. Went home after and crashed... at 6 o'clock. Thanks, Sean, you guys rock! --- LI-EIN 10/7 Abdullah Ben-Mahfoudh • One of the best books I read was "7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence" by "Patrick Merlevede, Denis Bridoux & Rudy Vandamme". I chose this for you from the book: ' If we never want to do things that aren't in our interest, how come we still expect others to do?'. 23 days ago• Like• Reply privately• Delete 3 ' Our blame-oriented culture does not allow for failure, not realizing that it is integral to the learning process'. --- Nicholas Stewart • I think for the younger generation Way of the Peaceful Warrior- makes a fabulous gift to a teen-ager --- Wendy Saunders • Hello everyone... I'm new to the group and am grateful to be here! I was introduced to a book several years ago that has been transformative for me and a number of my staff: Leadership & Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute. This book has powerful implications for the workplace but can also be extremely effective for transforming personal relationships. I was introduced to it in a leadership development program and have subsequently trained over 50 of my leadership team members on this book. Enjoy! >> Leadership & Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute. >> check this thread for recommended EQ readings/books http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Would-anyone-like-share-their-75300.S.180503818?view=&gid=75300&type=member&item=180503818 --- 06:20 @Nicholas Stewart said, "I think for the younger generation 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior' (Dan Millman) makes a fabulous gift to a teen-ager." RIGHT ON, Thanks, Nicholas... my grandson's a senior this year, and is off to the Marines right after graduation, so this would be such a cool gift for him... thanks again... I wouldn't have thought of that. That brings me to a challenge... we now have a list of fantastic, life-changing, EQ-centered books here (thanks, @Sudeshna). So WHICH one(s) are YOU getting for WHOM, this holiday season?? We have personal enlightenment thru EQ -- let's use it to spread the good word to the rest of the world! http://www.PeacefulWarrior.com http://www.Amazon.com http://www.BarnesandNoble.com http://www.6seconds.org/newstore --- 06:31 Hi. Yes, she lives in Fort Bragg... in fact, she's 4th generation Fort Bragg! No clue what her schedule is, but I know she's contracting on other cleaning gigs, so she's viable. (she shared the other night... "It's like I get OCD when I'm cleaning"... as an employer, that's a good thing!) call her. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: My Phone number is] From: Nancy Sinnett Date: Thu, November 22, 2012 11:56 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hey guy!~ Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours also!! Hope your day was an amazing showcase of the abundance in life we all share!! Thanks so much for sharing Kelly's number. Does she live in the area? Any idea what her schedule is as far as flexibility? We'll be in touch but, in the meantime, give our love to the troops!! NF&M What makes us grow old, is replacing love with regret . . . 'Patty Loveless' --- Ray Mathis • One of the ten "tools" I teach young people is "# 7 To assert yourself tactfully with I Messages". Like individuals, families develop "ruts" for how they think, feel, say and do things when together. Those can be good or bad, lead to closeness or arguing and fighting. Anger often comes into play when they lead to "bad" places for all concerned, either as a primary emotion, or secondary one, sometimes to protect someone from how they might really feel (sad or depressed, anxious, ashamed, guilty, lonely) about what is transpiring at the time, or has over time. In angry states people often use YOU Messages; threats, orders, name-calling, put downs, lecturing, criticism, etc. They usually point their finger at someone else. These are often called "solution" messages because they try to take away from another person their right to choose what to do for themselves. All these characteristics are why YOU Messages don't work very well in communicating with others. I messages simply give others information, and leave the choice what to do about it up to them. For example, what we like or don't like, what we want or don't want. They can also convey how we feel, but we need to be careful not to make others responsible for how we make ourselves feel. The way we do is understandable, part of being human, but no one upsets us, we upset ourselves. For example, "I get sad when..." is better than "It makes me sad when...", or "I get frustrated when you...." is better than "You make me angry when....". I try to convince kids that writing letters to someone else is a great way to communicate effectively if face-to-face meetings always seem to lead to both/all sides slipping into their dysfunctional cognitive, emotional and behavioral ruts. The nice thing about letters is that you get a chance to take back something if it sounds like it might be inflammatory instead of constructive. That's even easier today than ever with word processing. Once you say something face to face, it's out there. You can't take it back. Even if you never give someone the letter, it's good practice trying to communicate more effectively, without all the usual "triggers" or "events" that might "hook" you and encourage you to slip into your old "ruts". It's a version of what is called in REBT "putting your behavior where you want your attitude to be". Practicing talking/writing they way it would be good for you to think. I tell kids that even if it doesn't work with someone like a parent, it's good practice for a future relationship, so that you might do it better than your parents did with each other, or with you. If you do give it to someone, they'll read it, more often than not, more than once. You get to make points w/o interruption, and the more times they read it, the more likely your comments are to have the desired effect. And if you wrote it with the intention of finding common ground, getting a relationship back on track instead of derailing it permanently, chances are the next face-to-face will be easier, and more rewarding, even though we never get rid of our old "ruts" and either side can slip back into them at any time. Part of being human. I then offer them a list of 50 I Messages, which I'm going to share, and assign them to write a letter to someone they've been disagreeing with a lot lately, and would like to get along better with. I offer those now for your use, if ever needed. 1 day ago• Like• Reply privately• Delete Ray Unfollow Ray Mathis • 1. I don’t like it when we argue and fight so much 2. I don’t like it when we yell at each other 3. I don’t like it when we can’t seem to get along 4. I don’t like that we’re not as close as we used to be 5. I don’t like that we can’t seem to talk without arguing 6. I don’t like that we don’t spend as much time together as before 7. I like it better when we get along 8. I like it better when we talk instead of yell at each other 9. I liked it better when we spent more time together 10. I liked it better when we were closer 11. I get frustrated when I try to please you and can’t seem to 12. I get frustrated when I try to make you happy and can’t 13. I get frustrated when I try to make you proud of me and can’t 14. I get frustrated when I try to get along with you and can’t 15. I get frustrated when I try to talk to you and you won’t listen 16. I get frustrated when I try to explain things and you won’t let me 17. I get frustrated when I tell you the truth and you don’t believe me 18. I get sad because we argue and fight so much 19. I get sad because we can’t seem to get along 20. I get sad because we’re not as close as we used to be 21. I get sad because we don’t talk like we used to 22. I get sad because we don’t spend as much time together 23. I know I sometimes do things you don’t like 24. I know I do things that you get upset about 25. I know I’ve said some things I probably shouldn’t have 26. I know we don’t always agree on things 27. I know it’s not always easy being my ______(parent, friend, etc) 28. I know you mean well with the things you say and do 29. I know you’re often just trying to help 30. I know you just want what’s best for me 31. I know there’s a lot of other things on your mind sometimes 32. I’m sorry we argue and fight so much 33. I’m sorry we can’t seem to get along 34. I’m sorry we’re not as close as we used to be 35. I’m sorry we don’t talk as much as we used to 36. I’m sorry if I’ve done some things you didn’t like 37. I’m sorry if I’ve said some things that you were upset about 38. I’m sorry if you’re upset with some things I’ve said or done 39. I wish I could take back some things I’ve said 40. I wish I could undo some things I’ve done 41. I just want us to get along 42. I just want us to stop arguing and fighting so much 43. I just want us to stop yelling at each other 44. I just want us to be closer 45. I just want us to talk more 46. I just want us to be happy 47. I just want us to spend more time together 48. I just want to hear that you’re happy with what I do 49. I just want to hear that you’re proud of me once in a while 50. I just want to hear that you love me no matter what Got someone you're not getting along with as well as you'd like. Try writing them a letter using just these I Messages, leave it for them, or send it to them, and see what happens. It's not a cure all by any means. But sometimes it's enough to get people out of their old cognitive, emotional and behavioral "ruts" to allow some good things to start to happen. Ultimately, if there's a lot of emotion involved, it will probably take some of the other "tools" (see www.itsjustanevent.com) to really fix what's broken and build something better and lasting. But this can give most people a good bang for their buck as they say. 1 day ago• Unlike 2 Ray Unfollow Ray Mathis • One of the simplest and most important questions we can and should ask ourselves is: "What do you really want? How do you really want to feel?" The second is: "How's it working for you? To think, feel, say and do what you do now? Does it allow you to get what you really want and feel the way you really want to, or make it harder?" Third: "If you keep thinking, feeling, saying and doing what you always have, will it be easier or harder to get what you really want, and to feel the way you'd like to really feel in the future?" Fouth: "If someone else thinks, feels, says or does what they do, are you likely to get what you really want from them, or with them? To feel the way you'd really like to feel with them?" The answers are always obvious. The questions just need to be asked. And the only person we really control is us. So that's a good place to start. These questions are part of Tool #9 Evaluating our thoughts, feelings and actions with respect to our real life goals (and helping others do the same) And if we don't like what's happening, Dr. Paul Hauck suggests we have four basic options: * Problem solve and assert ourselves * Tolerate with disturbance * Tolerate without disturbance * Leave Always keeping in mind that we get what we tolerate (What reason does someone else have to change if we tolerate "bad" behavior?) And the best way to assert ourselves is to use I Messages. But sometimes it's hard to do that, or tolerate without disturbance, or even leave when it makes sense to, if we can't get into the right cognitive and emotional place to do so. That's where the other "tools" come in handy. - 06:53 I think you're close, @Joyce... and thanks, @Ray, I always love/appreciate your super-practical EQ tools! What I have found, and what we teach, is that our past DOES effect/affect us, often in ways we're not aware of, which means in some ways, a little, traumatized child is running our present life. Twenceforth, we: * Discover how our past pain/decisions/belief systems are still effecting/affecting us in the present. * Dig into/express/release the feelings of our inner-child, to uncover the unconscious Meanings we placed on ourselves and our world. * Re-decide about how we fit in to our family and the world, how lovable we are/feel, and what truly matters to us. * Gather the personal/emotional/EQ tools/skills/concepts needed to be/live/express who we truly are, create close/satisfying relationships (mostly by giving, to ourselves and to others), and make a different in the world (by finding/creating our noble goals). To me, my happiness is about healing and learning from my Past, being able to live fully and completely in the Present, and creating the best possible future I can for myself and those I love (which is a LOT of people). --- The following presentation of RUN FROM THE CURE: The Rick Simpson Story was made possible by Rick Simpson and video producer Christian Laurette... made for free to teach YOU how to heal yourself of disease and illness using cannabinoids. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rzUGuuXWr8 --- What if Money didn't Matter? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nif01WZ9aI it's all wretch and no vomit. it never gets there. - Alan Watts --- 5 Reasons Why Most Don't Become Wealthy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c2RrJ9ykr4&feature=related 1. It never occurs to us, never met any, no role models 2. They never decide to become wealthy / become successful. do something different. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. 3. Procrastination reasons not to do what they know they need to do month by month and year and year 4. Inability to Delay Gratification spend every penny they make or borrow. if you cannot save money, the seeds of greatness are not within you. - W. Clement Stone 5. Lack of Time Perspective amount of time willing to sacrafice in the short term those with a long term move up "brain tracy.com stroke wealthreport" www.BrianTracy.com/wealthreport --- some people hide who they are by not getting on Facebook and LI. I, however, WANT to a) celebrate, b) share, and c) model myself. I'm a role model for me. teach yourself. be your best teacher. be an avid student. be your worst critic and your biggest chearleader. learn about who you are, and what motivates you. EQ: The Study of Self. Assumption: We are all trying to be the best ME we can be, with what we know. The more we know, the better OUR BEST can be. People are expected to Love, without having been taught, or shown, Love. that's not fair. People are expected to CONTROL their angry outbursts, but shown quite the opposite. People are expected to BE NICE, while the world was never nice to them. We're supposed to live a life we were not taught how to live. Kids are being taught IQ, but not EQ. We want to teach EQ, as well. Since so many drop out, teach 'em EQ early and often! with EQ, you can ask for IQ. with EQ, you can hire IQ. with EQ, you can create IQ. (?) It is super important. Maybe that's my 'fight'. it's gotta be a call to arms. the state testings are ineffective. public, and private, school teachings are ineffective in teaching our children about LIFE. the results I'm not a left-brainer, so this may sound more like an empassioned plea than you're used to reading. I'm a right-brainer, in fact, a right-right-brainer, so sometimes I may not even make sense... it's just pure emotion talking. but that's ok with me, 'cause that's where I want to live... and it turns out, that's where we want the world to move toward. you see, we're finding that, as people become more aware of the passion, and feeling, and joy, and color that is lives in their right-brain, they not only enjoy their own lives more -- become more fulfilled, more hope, more passion for life -- they want to, and it serves them to, be nice and play well with others. In fact, it goes further in that enlightened folks tend to be ecological, social and philosophical philantropists, ready to save the planet. (at a last film festival event the other night, the worst thing that happened all evening, is that we forgot a recycle bin... and people were just aghast!). bad: there are three times as many black males incarcerated than there were in slavery. the suicide rate of returning veterans, and the handling of PTSD, is unacceptable. Good: children in schools are x more likely to stay in school, get better grades, cause the least problems I also realize that this 3-page document, on which I have spent almost 3 years, will not be your only research on me/us, so let me warn you about what you will find. Our credit is so-so, about 700. we chose to live/purchase land in the most beautiful forest in the world, in a super-small community, in a safe environment to raise our kids, and that has cost us. There is little work here, so I have been a computer consultant for 25 years, and I've telecommuted when possible, but otherwise driven, a lot, to customer sites 200 miles away. In fact, I currently work off Market in San Francisco. In my free time, I'm an avid EQer... kinda over-the-top enthusiastic about it, in fact. Feel free to check my Facebook page(s) and LinkedIn, and Twitter, and (especially) YouTube. I live and breathe EQ, and I choose to be a good guy, a loving guy, a fun guy, but a real guy, too. I strive to be my own role model! We've been teaching /doing the emotional healing work for 25 years, too (that's where Paula and I met), and although we stink at marketing, and I still have money/deserving issues that keep us from growing, our results have been significant! Here's my proudest/most powerful: 4 people have come up to me/paula/us THIS YEAR, in 2012, and said "You/this saved my life." Four. that's a lot (tears). if you woulda seen any 1 of their faces before, during or after, you'd understand why 4 is a lot. This stuff works. EQ works. It's free, it's simple, it's inside of us, it (can be) fun. it's memorable, it's profound, it's unlimited, and did I mention, it's free, 100%, no charge, nada. So, it took me a while to say this, but: EQ is like Magic. It transforms businesses. It saves lives. It bring Love wherever there are people. It empowers people. It teaches, shows, models, employs. It uplifts, and embraces, and encourages, and grows. It's like magic. and maybe that's what it takes to battle evil, and corruption, and greed. we have the wand. Help me to use it powerfully, effectively, and wisely. Thanks. - Matt Perelstein, EQ Dude Extraordinaire - feelings, communication skills, being real, sharing, connecting with others should not be a By-product of schools... bec. it's often done sooo poorly, and thus painfully. please, let's talk about our feelings, how they work, how EVERYBODY's got 'em, whether they show 'em or not... and that EVERYBODY feels, all day, every day, whether they acknowledge it or not... and EVERYBODY struggles with fear, and anger, and guilt, and rejection, and so we try to deal, and survive, and be, and have some fun, and hang out... not battle, or steal, or bully, or rape... ... and maybe we can learn to find laughter and joy without drinking or drugs. --- Getting noticed in a meaningful way is less about the grand gesture and more about the small, thoughtful things we do every day. There's often a pay it forward beauty to going that extra inch. - Linda Kaplan-Thaler & Robin Koval --- I'll be the spokesman I'll be the head chearleader Am I as committed as that guy from greenpeace? apparently not. - What do you want to do with your life? (pic) Stand By Turn Off Restart - Rather than being stuck by life's limitations, how about being energized by life's possibilities for Change and Transformation? www.dailypositiveinspirations.com --- Authentic Happiness Inventory http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Tests/SameOptionDifferentAnswers_t.aspx?id=258 Please read each group of statements carefully. Then pick the one statement in each group that best describes the way you have been feeling for the past week, including today. Be sure to read all of the statements in each group before making your choice in the dropdown list next to the statements. 1. A. I feel like a failure. B. I do not feel like a winner. C. I feel like I have succeeded more than most people. D. As I look back on my life, all I see are victories. E. I feel I am extraordinarily successful. 2. A. I am usually in a bad mood. B. I am usually in a neutral mood. C. I am usually in a good mood. D. I am usually in a great mood. E. I am usually in an unbelievably great mood. 3. A. When I am working, I pay more attention to what is going on around me than to what I am doing. B. When I am working, I pay as much attention to what is going on around me as to what I am doing. C. When I am working, I pay more attention to what I am doing than to what is going on around me. D. When I am working, I rarely notice what is going on around me. E. When I am working, I pay so much attention to what I am doing that the outside world practically ceases to exist. 4. A. My life does not have any purpose or meaning. B. I do not know the purpose or meaning of my life. C. I have a hint about my purpose in life. D. I have a pretty good idea about the purpose or meaning of my life. E. I have a very clear idea about the purpose or meaning of my life. 5. A. I rarely get what I want. B. Sometimes, I get what I want, and sometimes not. C. Somewhat more often than not, I get what I want. D. I usually get what I want. E. I always get what I want. 6. A. I have sorrow in my life. B. I have neither sorrow nor joy in my life. C. I have more joy than sorrow in my life. D. I have much more joy than sorrow in my life. E. My life is filled with joy. 7. A. Most of the time I feel bored. B. Most of the time I feel neither bored nor interested in what I am doing. C. Most of the time I feel interested in what I am doing. D. Most of the time I feel quite interested in what I am doing. E. Most of the time I feel fascinated by what I am doing. 8. A. I feel cut off from other people. B. I feel neither close to nor cut off from other people. C. I feel close to friends and family members. D. I feel close to most people, even if I do not know them well. E. I feel close to everyone in the world. 9. A. By objective standards, I do poorly. B. By objective standards, I do neither well nor poorly. C. By objective standards, I do rather well. D. By objective standards, I do quite well. E. By objective standards, I do amazingly well. 10. A. I am ashamed of myself. B. I am not ashamed of myself. C. I am proud of myself. D. I am very proud of myself. E. I am extraordinarily proud of myself. 11. A. Time passes slowly during most of the things that I do. B. Time passes quickly during some of the things that I do and slowly for other things. C. Time passes quickly during most of the things that I do. D. Time passes quickly during all of the things that I do. E. Time passes so quickly during all of the things that I do that I do not even notice it. 12. A. In the grand scheme of things, my existence may hurt the world. B. My existence neither helps nor hurts the world. C. My existence has a small but positive effect on the world. D. My existence makes the world a better place. E. My existence has a lasting, large, and positive impact on the world. 13. A. I do not do most things very well. B. I do okay at most things I am doing. C. I do well at some things I am doing. D. I do well at most things I am doing. E. I do really well at whatever I am doing. 14. A. I have little or no enthusiasm. B. My enthusiasm level is neither high nor low. C. I have a good amount of enthusiasm. D. I feel enthusiastic doing almost everything. E. I have so much enthusiasm that I feel I can do most anything. 15. A. I do not like my work (paid or unpaid). B. I feel neutral about my work. C. For the most part, I like my work. D. I really like my work. E. I truly love my work. 16. A. I am pessimistic about the future. B. I am neither optimistic nor pessimistic about the future. C. I feel somewhat optimistic about the future. D. I feel quite optimistic about the future. E. I feel extraordinarily optimistic about the future. 17. A. I have accomplished little in life. B. I have accomplished no more in life than most people. C. I have accomplished somewhat more in life than most people. D. I have accomplished more in life than most people. E. I have accomplished a great deal more in my life than most people. 18. A. I am unhappy with myself. B. I am neither happy nor unhappy with myself--I am neutral. C. I am happy with myself. D. I am very happy with myself. E. I could not be any happier with myself. 19. A. My skills are never challenged by the situations I encounter. B. My skills are occasionally challenged by the situations I encounter. C. My skills are sometimes challenged by the situations I encounter. D. My skills are often challenged by the situations I encounter. E. My skills are always challenged by the situations I encounter. 20. A. I spend all of my time doing things that are unimportant. B. I spend a lot of time doing things that are neither important nor unimportant. C. I spend some of my time every day doing things that are important. D. I spend most of my time every day doing things that are important. E. I spend practically every moment every day doing things that are important. 21. A. If I were keeping score in life, I would be behind. B. If I were keeping score in life, I would be about even. C. If I were keeping score in life, I would be somewhat ahead. D. If I were keeping score in life, I would be ahead. E. If I were keeping score in life, I would be far ahead. 22. A. I experience more pain than pleasure. B. I experience pain and pleasure in equal measure. C. I experience more pleasure than pain. D. I experience much more pleasure than pain. E. My life is filled with pleasure. 23. A. I do not enjoy my daily routine. B. I feel neutral about my daily routine. C. I like my daily routine, but I am happy to get away from it. D. I like my daily routine so much that I rarely take breaks from it. E. I like my daily routine so much that I almost never take breaks from it. 24. A. My life is a bad one. B. My life is an OK one. C. My life is a good one. D. My life is a very good one. E. My life is a wonderful one. The Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire is © 2005 Christopher Peterson, University of Michigan. Used with permission. © 2005 Martin E. P. Seligman - TEST CENTER Test Center My Profile QUESTIONNAIRES Questionnaire Center Authentic Happiness Inventory (AHI) Depression Scale (CES-D) Fordyce Emotions General Happiness PANAS Brief Strengths Test Gratitude (GQ-6) Grit Survey Optimism Transgression Motivations VIA Survey of Character Strengths VIA Strengths for Children Work-Life Close Relationships Compassionate Love Scale Meaning in Life Approaches to Happiness Satisfaction with Life INITIATIVES Initiatives Center Positive Health Positive Education Comprehensive Soldier Fitness Positive Psychotherapy Positive Neuroscience Newsletter Center Authentic Happiness Newsletters Authentic Happiness Coaching Newsletters RESOURCES Authentic Happiness Inventory Here is your score on the Authentic Happiness Inventory. We are currently testing and refining this questionnaire. We cannot yet tell you whether or how scores on this questionnaire are related to happiness. We can only tell you how your scores compared to those of others using the site and thank you for your kind contribution to this research. When we finish the study in a few months, we'll add more information about this score on your personalized Test Center page. Authentic Happiness Inventory Authentic Happiness Inventory Score November 23, 2012 Your Score Range 4.21 1.00 to 5.00 you scored as high as or higher than 97 % 97 % 97 % 97 % 96 % 98 % Web users gender age occup educ zip code --- Amnesty International http://www.amnestyusa.org/donate/ Nov 8, 2012 $This debit card purchase is eligible for cash back. This debit card purchase is eligible for cash back. Debit Card Signature Purchase To AMNESTY INTERNATL-PS NEW YORK NY Completed Details Debit Card Signature Purchase To AMNESTY INTERNATL-PS NEW YORK NY 5X436080MG905270L -$20.00 $0.00 -$20.00 USD 09:26 LM Member Services department at (212) 633-4254, M-F 9:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Eastern. Amnesty International USA 5 Penn Plaza 16th Floor New York, NY 10001 --- Try these Positive Psychology assessments (free)! I just took the Happiness one (4.21) and the Gratitude one (42). Sorry, you'll need to register first, but it's the Univ. of Pennsylvania and they do research, not sales, so I've never gotten spam from them. http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter.aspx FYI: These are from the wonderful work of Dr. Martin Seligman. He said therapy/Psychology used to only focus on the disease model, to "make miserable people less miserable", but now it's expanding to help "make relatively untroubled people happier, more fulfilled, and more productive." He said that, of the 500+ DSM-IV mental illnesses, 14 are now 'treatable' and 2 are actually 'curable', so we're making progress! Here's his educational and entertaining TED talk (23:45): http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html Note: They have also found that "extremely happy people are extremely social" so please STAY IN TOUCH! --- Sewing Machine for PR and Tracy Kay http://www.walmart.com/ip/Brother-Computerized-Sewing-Machine-CS6000I/4764726#ProductDetail --- Eucs Insects stems Jude Jett subscription branches, lots of branches stick insects banana leaves 2B sub! nope, 1L (ban) GPSI --- ordered PayPal credit card reader (free)! Welcome to PayPal Here! Dear Matt Perelstein, Welcome. We're glad you're here. Your registration is now complete. The PayPal Here secure card reader is on its way, but you can start taking payments now! Remember, certain fees are associated with completed sales. Funds from all swiped credit card sales is available immediately. Refer to your funds availability policy for details on manually entered transactions. Your payments are always secure when you use PayPal. Questions? See our FAQ or give us a call at 1-877-569-1136. We offer free customer support Monday through Friday: 6:00 am to 11:00 pm Central Time and Saturday and Sunday: 8:00 am to 10:00 pm Central Time. PayPal Here Terms and Conditions https://cms.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/?cmd=_render-content&content_ID=ua/US_PayPalHere_full&locale.x=en_US Sincerely, PayPal PayPal Here allows you to accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover branded credit cards and debit cards (“Cards”) as well as check payments into your PayPal Account. It also allows you to do your record keeping for cash payments you accept. In addition to agreeing to these terms, you will be required to provide certain personal information in order to register you for PayPal Here. You must have a Business Account or Premier Account in good standing and be approved by PayPal to use PayPal Here. If you have a Personal Account (rather than a Business or Premier Account) prior to signing up for PayPal Here, you will be upgraded automatically to a Premier or a Business Account as part of the sign-up process, depending on your expected use of PayPal Here. >> whoops, I just upgraded to $30/mo for PP! Business Account or Premier Account Account Type: Business Funds availability: If you process more than $2,500.00 USD in any 7-day period, 100% of the additional money will be held in your account for 30 days. This applies to the following transactions:non - swipe. My reserves balance You don't have pending balance for selected currency How are my available funds calculated? Sliding window. For each PayPal Heretm transaction received, we will add it to the amount received over the last 7 days. Funds that exceed the $2,500.00 USD threshold amount will be placed into Reserve for 30 days. They will then be available for you to use or withdraw from your PayPal account. - PayPal Verified https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_manual-seal Verification link for customers https://www.paypal.com/us/verified/pal=matt%402GetHelp%2ecom Logo Official PayPal Seal or I'm PayPal Verified I'm PayPal Verified Withdrawal Your limit has been lifted. Sending Your limit has been lifted. Everyone's account has initial sending, receiving, and withdrawal limits until you provide some information to help us get to know you. After we confirm your information, you'll be a - PP = 3097 --- LI-EIN Sean Childerley • Hello. I'm Sean Childerley. I work from home in Nottingham, England as a media sales consultant for a company called Rainmaker and previously I was a Commercial Director at Global Radio who own several radio brands across the UK. I'm interested in this group as I work with business people across the country and fundamentally believe that nearly all decisions are made based upon our emotional connections to the matter in hand. I am also studying for my degree in Leadership and Management and this topic is very useful for using in case studies and for theory and models. --- Scotto and Shannon here(!) (she's cool!) chat, tour, rope swing Ricarda's KC T. home, wine - Cupcake Vineyards... yum refill water in MH 9ish coach/bed --- 11.24 05:?? cable off, so paid $193, but outta EP (bummer) 05:59 - 06:01 What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. - Plutarch Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. - Swami Sivananda You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. - Winston Churchill No one ever hurt their eyesight by looking at the bright side of life. If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side. --------- mcp ------------ If you have to advertise to attract business, you don't know much about marketing. "A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality." - John F. Kennedy - Profiles in Courage (1956) "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers --- Way of the Peaceful Warrior a book that changes lives - Josh - Andrew Wegner (saved a bunch of pics of him and Aimee's wedding!) >> get address from Aimee 15S OH-58D Helicopter repairer at U.S Army Aimee Janette Wegner Married since September 22, 2012 5409 Emory Drive Savannah, GA 31406 707-485-4807 aimee --- great pic of you, Josh... fully engaged in your art/craft/mission/life... while bringing joy, and love, to the table! This, to me, is a picture of true SUCCESS. Congrats on making it so. (I have a few similar pics of me fully ALIVE teaching EQ, and I treasure them above most others). In fact, to the rest of who read this... if you want your face to look like this, in your job/career, TEACH EQ... possibly the most rewarding job on the planet... making very real dif. in people's lives! --- The enjoyed the joy in the article... and I liked her conclusion: "Lesson four, pay attention to everything you have done, who you have met and how one day it may actually come together and create a business that is about a greater good." --- 06:53 FB-EQRocks Studies show that extremely happy people are also extremely social! STAY IN TOUCH with people, and make deep, lasting relationships (at least 1, so you know for sure that you're loved). --- >> social media schedule LI - EIN FB - NDG - EQRocks - ND - MCP - EP Twitter ? Scoop.It EQRocks Pinterest EQRocks --- sarah b. yeah, you school and work so much, free time feels weird, huh? --- Glori Matt Perelstein This is a GREAT pic... thanks for sharing it, Glori! I feel like I know you even better. Even after all you went thru, you guys look hopeful, and in love. I love all the love you share now! --- 10 Ways to Move On 1. Allow yourself to be happy 2. Be confident & trust yourself 3. Welcome change and go with it 4. Be courageous and take a risk 5. Ditch the guilt 6. Know that you deserve the best 7. Make a decision and follow it through 8. Smile in the face of adversity 9. Remember that yoiu are good enough 10. Beee yourself! - www.LyndaField.com pic --- 07:21 What encourages me is that Facebook is becoming a haven for EQ! There are now tons of EQ-friendly stories, and quotes, and tips, and life lessons being tossed around, and I believe it's increasing the collective EQ of the general public... which makes me VERY happy! --- 07:26 LI-Helena Coello Hey you! Thanks for the connection... I'm happy to be in touch with you! So, whatchadoin' these days, and whereyadoinit?? Hope you and yours are happy and well! - Matt saw your awesome daughter at the football game the other week. She's so cool... so full of life, but with an awareness of others that came from You! --- 07:41 Hey Josh, CONGRATS on another successful whirlwind tour of the world! You're amazing. So, I just wanted to let you know that I've been approving a few more Discussions that woulda been Promotions lately. Tho newbies are still streaming in (>43k now), there actually aren't as many Discussions or responses being generated... and, some of the Promo posts are really good, and extremely EQ-related... and most don't even SEE the Promos (which is a shame). So, I've been Approving more links lately... like "How to handle the fears of leadership", or "How to be a great mentor", or Daniel Goleman's free ebook, or "Success is a Choice" article by an ex-commander. Ok by you? any comments? btw, I have noticed that you give me extra credit for managing the group,.. and I appreciate that.... a lot. I believe this group is THE biggest forum for EQ that I can be an active participant in, and I am more and more amazed at the caliber of members we/EQ are attracting! We ARE making a difference in the world, you and I. Rock on... - Matt --- Sara Speer Selber 7:17am Nov 24 matt, I so agree! I too was conflicted. Loved the sentiment, but conflicted as to when reality shows up. Love the conversation. --- 07:46 Aimee Janette Wegner Hey you! CONGRATS on the wonderful pics/memories! I went thru them all and saved off a bunch of them! Hey, will Andrew be home for Christmas at all? I have something for him... if not, can I have his mailing address? Must be hard to be apart, after your awesome wedding, ey? Take care. - Matt --- 08:02 submit credit app to Amazon/Chase credit card, for $50 free credit "will be notified"... hmmm --- 08:10 Book Description Publication Date: April 1, 2011 The Four Purposes of Life was born from Dan Millman's decades-long search to make sense of life. He distills decades of experience into a concise map of the journey -- the full scope of what we're each here to accomplish here on planet Earth. It puts together, for the first time, essential elements from the "peaceful warrior teachings" in their full and proper context --- providing a burst of clarity to bring our lives into sharper focus. This backstage tour of life begins with the proposition that we are here to fulfill (not one but) four purposes: Learning Life's Lessons Finding Your Career and Calling Fulfilling Your Hidden Life Path Attending to This Arising Moment - Book Description Publication Date: June 1, 1999 On the Journey of Life, Do You Sometimes Wish You Had a Map? You now hold such a map in your hands-a guide through the twelve gateways of personal growth to the summit of your potential. Dan Millman makes your ascent accessible by bringing enlightenment down to earth-applying spiritual wisdom to the practical realities of everyday life. Explore the challenges and mysteries of body, mind, and emotions. Discover a new approach to success. Change confusion into clarity and knowledge into action. It begins as you turn the first page and enter... 1. Discover Your Worth 2. Reclaim Your Will 3. Energize Your Body 4. Manage Your Money 5. Tame Your Mind 6. Trust Your Intuition 7. Accept Your Emotions 8. Face Your Fears 9. Illuminate Your Shadow 10. Embrace Your Sexuality 11. Awaken Your Heart 12. Serve Your World The Time is Now. The Road is Open. Your Destiny Awaits. --- 08:29 PP = 2942 -193 DirectTV --- D-R Energy and Passion. These are two closely linked characteristics that seem to fuel one another in the great entrepreneurs and venture capitalists that I’ve met. Energy helps you discover and pursue your passion. Passion gives you more energy, which leads to more discoveries and pursuits. -William H. Draper, III The Startup Game http://drkfoundation.org/our-grants.html - Submit a Proposal After filling out some basic information about your organization in our online process, you should attach two files (PDF preferred): a brief proposal and a resume of the founder(s). In no more than a 3-page proposal, please provide the following information: Impact The mission and objectives of the organization. Innovative solution description: A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan. Explain how your organization will improve on existing efforts and how your approach is systemic and unique. Be sure to describe existing programs and how yours will differ. An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. Scale An explanation of how the organization, over time, will be nationwide in the US or global (2 or more countries) in scale. An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. Leader Please attach a standard resume for the entrepreneur(s), not simply a text bio. --- CURRICULUM VITAE for MCP A skill-based CV focuses on skills acquired rather than experience in a specific area. For instance, it is possible to acquire leadership skills from jobs or volunteer work in an area that is different from the specific area a person is applying for. Read more: About Curriculum Vitae | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_4567135_curriculum-vitae.html#ixzz2D9rGC2fp --- >> IDEA: have a member ship site ON Facebook! just make it a closed group, and charge by the month/year. (see below for an example) Want exclusive content? Want your burning marketing questions answered by experts? Want to see inside my business? Want insider tips, tricks and business hacks? I wanted those things too when I was getting started, but the expenses were so high that I couldn't join. I know what it's like, which is why I am running an insanely cheap introductory lifetime membership offer. My partner Bill Guthrie and I have created something we feel will bring impact to your business right away. Join my Insiders Club today for $7 a month and receive: -- Live Web Sessions: At least twice monthly we're hosting live Q&A sessions (no pitches allowed) where you can ask us anything that's on your mind. Stuck within an aspect of your business? Ask us. Want our opinion on something? Ask us. (We'll have a way for you to submit questions in advance so we'll have plenty of time to consider our answers.) And we'll tell you what we're up to as well, so you can learn from the ways in which we build our business. -- Exclusive Training: And at least once a month we'll release unique video-based training on a variety of topics. We have extensive experience in the following: Affiliate Marketing Product Creation (WSOs & Info Products) Outsourcing CPA Marketing List Building Traffic Tactics SEO Copywriting Local Business Marketing (Offline) and just about every other aspect of marketing you can think of… -- Private Insiders Club Facebook Group: You get 24/7 access to other marketers as well as myself and Jason. Networking, friendship, and collaboration have grown my businesses and the same will happen for you too! As part of the whole Black Friday thing, we're opening the Opportunity Marketers Insiders Club to new members for only $7 a month. You'll be protected from future price increases for the lifetime of your membership. This can save you a lot of money! This special pricing is only good through Monday Nov. 26th. After that, the price goes up. Be a part of something special Our first live session will be Tuesday Nov. 27th, so you'll get a quick taste of what the Insiders Club will be like. If you hate it, cancel your membership with no hard feelings (there will be no refunds, however, as we can't get back the time we invest). Once you pay, you'll receive instructions on how to access the private FB group, as well as how to begin sending in your first batch of questions for our Tuesday Q&A session. We'll be waiting to connect, and we look forward to helping you grow your business! All best, Jason Keith & Bill Guthrie | The Opportunity Marketers P.S. You'll never see this membership for so little, so we hope you'll take advantage of our special introductory offer. P.S.S. Yes, we will record all live sessions and post them in a secure members area. And we'll make sure to have our sessions at different times so that our global membership base can attend. --- 09:51 Sliloh / anita gosh, I'm sorry for the start again / stop again thing... that's how my life is... too many irons in the fire... and they're ALL important (to me). So, I do have something for you... that will be JUST you working on it (duh). I have a bunch of ND testimonials... written/posted, audio files and videos (on youtube). There are unsolicited glowing remarks, interviews, and soundbytes from taped conversations. I'd like these presented in a powerful way on NewDirectionsWorkshop.com! I don't know what's best, so I'll leave it to you to make a suggestion, or two. Here are the PAGES of written testimonials (but they're totally random... how about breaking them up by 'subject'?) http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials/ Here is my YouTube account, with interviews. The bottom ones are under 1 minute, while the middle set are 15-25 min. long and in depth... plus an informercial and a half-hour TV show on EQ-101. http://www.youtube.com/user/MattAttack7777 Here are the audio files. Some are half-hour/hour radio interviews I've been on (optional, since they're not exactly testimonials... just me running my mouth about EQ). Some are taped phone conversations, and another is the audio of the TV program EQ-101. http://www.EQRocks.com/audio/ What's a cool way to show/present these?? - Also, if you're up for it, can you enhance this page some? http://2gethelp.org/eqresources/ I have 'curated' some very cool pages on Scoop.it, but this page doesn't display them well at all (one-at-a-time, no buttons to scroll, etc.). See http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks for a much better presentation of the same material. ... and this page: http://www.eqrocks.com/blog/ should look like/go here: http://2gethelp.org/eq-training-blog-2/ (140 pages of blog posts, with no pics, so they're ugly). Thanks. I apologize again, and hope you can be flexible with me. - Matt --- 10:00 pretty good progress this morning gotta better feel for how I want to do my D-R Resume, at least and got a good assignment to Sliloh gotta go. Scott and Shannon wanna go wine-tasting today. --- >> gwen re: Euc gift cert and 15% off thingy carve turkey for lunch Safeway for snack goodies off to Pacific Star winery, very nice then to 10-mile beach fire, walk with scotto, (shannon's being a butt, negative, grumpy) CVS home AK, Bri, Tracy over for a bit (fun!) dinner Upwords (1x) 10ish bed/coach --- 11.25 sunday. 5-days at home went by soooo fast! 00:55 up, poops "This Emotional Life" on PBS fear, anxiety, depression --- 03:20 here dinner --- First keep peace with yourself, then you can also bring peace to others. - Thomas Kempis Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other. - Euripides Business should be fun. Without fun, people are left wearing emotional raincoats most of their working lives. Building fun into business is vital; it brings life into our daily being. Fun is a powerful motive for most of our activities and should be a direct path of our livelihood. We should not relegate it to something we buy after work with money we earn. - Michael Phillips (1943) --- 03:40 Hi Anita. Thanks for hangin' in there with me, and thanks for the work on the scoop.it resources page: http://2gethelp.org/eqresources/ it looks great in Firefox, but it has a blank column in IE, and overlaps in Chrome. (see attached). Can you control it differently by browser? Yes, http://www.eqrocks.com/blog/ is blank, but it shouldn't be. There are gobs of posts but no images, I'm afraid (I wrote most of these years ago). I'd like it to show up kinda like http://2gethelp.org/eq-training-blog-2/, if you can, please. Excited to see your new testimonials page, whenever it's ready. Thanks!! You rock. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EucProducts of California sent you $50.00 USD From: sliloh Date: Sun, November 25, 2012 2:06 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, >Also, if you're up for it, can you enhance this page some? http://2gethelp.org/eqresources/ I have 'curated' some very cool pages on >Scoop.it, but this page doesn't display them well at all (one-at-a-time, no buttons to scroll, etc.). See http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks for a much better presentation of the same material. Did this one, what do you think? http://2gethelp.org/eqresources/ >... and this page: http://www.eqrocks.com/blog/ should look like/go here: http://2gethelp.org/eq-training-blog-2/ (>140 pages of blog posts, with no pics, so they're ugly). I'm not sure what you mean here? Your eqrocks blog just shows a blank page, but you do have posts there, with images, right? The eq-training-blog has a lot of great content but you are right, it's much nicer having pictures included. As for the testimonials, etc, I'm working on it. Hopefully I can come up with something cool. Anita --- 03:52 "This Emotional Life" on PBS fear, anxiety, depression Trailer http://video.pbs.org/video/1274855067 Anger feels like acid running thru my viens, and I have to LASH OUT, and hurt. prove that depression is an illness that has a physical basis, just like other illnesses. depression effects more than our emotions, it changes the way we perceive things, and even the way we see things. I was never quite given the right pill. why are we so poor about looking into the future, and figuring out what will make us happy? I won the lottery ($45M) but being happy slash content takes work. you have to work at it. study of lottery winners vs. paraplegics level of happiness. expect a wide difference, found NO difference. some of each were happy, some of each were miserable. become more resilent it's the rate of recovery. like with athleticism, and physical exertion, the rate of "how gooda shape we're in" is about how long it takes to recover, to have our heartrate return to 'normal'. same with feelings. I'm a behaviouralist, but I'm also a feeling monster. it's not just a cognitive world. let's not teach only cognitive skills. --- The revolutionary psychoanalyst Frantz Fanon once famously wrote of "the wretched of the earth." The slum-dwellers and migrant workers; the indentured servants and child labourers; the subsistence farmers and the three billion who live on less than $2.50 a day: these are today's wretched of the suffering, straining earth. They're as invisible to you and I, in our glittering business-class titanium bubbles, as the earth is to the distant stars; just so much human rubble that we cruise past, over, beyond. what can we give all these people, quickly, inexpensively and permanently, the power of choice. EQ. we can let them know, somehow, that they are at choice. We do see them. We do understand, and we are working toward a better tomorrow. But in the meantime, we are all at choice, to be happy or miserable, REGARDLESS of our external surroundings. Nelson Mandela came outta 25 years of captivity feeling sad for his captures, and not at all a victim. __ __, who won $45M in the lottery, was suicidal. What's the difference? Choice. The power to choose. Our feelings, thoughts, behaviours, are our Happiness. The good news is that the three: - reside WITHIN us, not outside us - we have way more power and control over them than we ever thought possible. - We getta CHOOSE -- what we think, how we feel, and certainly what we say and do -- again, and again, every minute of every day. We don't get happy. we don't find happy, we Create happy. We choose happy. We decide to live happy. that's it. boom. the rest is trivial. even if we're Unhappy, we can choose to be happy about that. even if we're in Physical pain, we can choose to be happy around, underneath, in spite of the pain. even if our world is Dire outside of us, we can choose to be happy, inside of us. that's what we need to tell people. people don't know that - it's TOTALLY, 100% up to Them, if they wanna be happy or not. - there are simple, FREE, powerful Skills that can be learned to HELP us choose happiness (almost) every time. - there's a whole other Side of Themselves, they have never met, yet. most of us have never explored our right-brain, have felt the deepest Empathy for what they have had to endure, so far in life, to make friends, and talk to, and LISTEN TO, and parent our own Inner child. What was life like for me, as a kid? How did our parents treat me? (ability to feel loved and accepted, self-esteem) How did they treat each other? (our primary relationship role model... which we WILL tend to re-live!) what about my brothers and sisters, and other relatives? What kind of Trauma did I have? was I abandoned or rejected? was I molested or raped? what accidents, punishments or other negative experiences got 'stuck' in my body? if you don't do ANY emotional healing work, then you are fooling yourself that you "Know Yourself" very well. If you don't know what/how/how deeply you are STILL be effected/affected by your childhood, then you are NOT in control of your life. sorry. but that whole part of your brain, apparently is Off-Limits to you, and you don't 'go there'. ok, fine. it's fear-based, but that's ok for now. Just know that you are missing out. Missing a whole, amazing, powerful, compassionate, passionate, intimate, loving, feeling, BEAUTIFUL side of you. I like to know what people are feeling. It makes me feel safer to be around them. I like others to know what I am feeling (mostly). It makes me feel real, and genuine, and complete. I like for others to know what they are feeling. It makes them more trustworthy, and honest, and safer, to me. I like when people accept they're own feelings. It makes it easier for them to accept mine. I like feeling safe with people. I like being accepted. I like people. I like. I. EQ = I IQ + EQ = Me. --- @Ray dude, you rock, as usual. I have to tell you that I copy most Everything you say for my notes, but I will always give you credit for 'em... but to me, you explain EQ in the most practical way I have seen or heard! And, not 5 minutes ago, I was writing about knowing that we are always "at choice" is the first key to EQ... and I read your words, "No one can make us feel good or bad about ourselves. No one can make us happy. Because anything they say or do, regardless of how outrageous most people might find it, is just an EVENT, and we always have a choice how we want to look at it, and ourselves, what meaning we want to attach to it, and how much importance we want to attach to it. Those and others such choices are ours alone to make." boom, this, to me, is the key to EQ. We call it Emotional Responsibility, and it's this simple switch -- understanding that "you did not make me angry... I made me angry" -- changes Everything! So, back to the Ray S's original question about thicker skin... I don't think it's about how thick our skin is... it's about the MEANING we put on the criticism. If we do not respect the person it came from, or we don't already feel imperfect in the area that was criticized, it doesn't MEAN much to us, so it doesn't hurt much, either. However, if it's something we already felt badly about, or we put negative meanings on it, or it's the same thing our dad used to say, and it hurt as a kid, then it's gonna 'bring up' more feelings. To me, the keys are: basic emotional healing techniques: - Identify what I'm feeling - Explore the meaning "what does that mean about me?" - Reassess the situation - Make new decisions, change the meaning, release the feeling IKAERRR 7 Steps to Emotional Healing EQ 1: I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings and behaviours 2: Know what my body feels 3: Accept my feelings, my thoughts and my beliefs 4: Express negative feelings in productive ways 5: Release negative feelings, change negative meanings 6: Replace negatives thoughts and feelings with positive, productive ones 7: REJOICE about me, about us, about life! IKAERRR! (pronounced "I Care!") what about the Meanings? Managing Meanings Awareness identify the thoughts and meanings behind the feelings Assessment agreement severity priority past results Action add: encourage ones that work edit/delete: adjust those that don't --- 07:19 Marshall today?!? or next Friday/weekend? - Matt --- 07:58 My judgement, Erika, is that you are doing great! I've seen real growth in you in the past year or two. Your lows use to be lower, and last longer, and now you seem to have a lighter, more Hey-I'm-ok kinda attitude about you that's quite excellent. Rock on, girlfriend! oh, and about the self-forgiveness, start with self-empathy. It seems to start with us feeling empathy toward ourselves as a child, first, and then translating this feeling into empathy toward ourselves as an adult, then empathy toward others, and so on. Are you still judging little Erika, or big Erika? --- 08:00 FB-Feeling Notes Feelings when become intense shed out with cryinig...quite a global phenomena...a worth reading article... I Cry, Therefore I Am www.nytimes.com Shedding tears of emotion was vital for human evolution and the rise of cultures. This is an interesting dissertation on Crying -- who, when, why, etc. It was most informative, thanks, Arati! --- 08:10 2GetHelp, Inc. has the username 2GetHelp.org. You can visit it by going to http://www.facebook.com/2GetHelp.org. You may change this username once. --- >> Scoop.it seems to be Tweeting twice! see duplicate tweets at https://twitter.com/eqrockseqheals Melinda? Anita? --- twitter can now automatically post to FB Twitter's display page, with logos and hashtags and such https://twitter.com/logo 08:30 changed twitter profile pic to mcp-teaching.jpg --- 08:38 Umm Sulaim Hi. Just a minor comment... when you reply to folks, please try not to criticize them or make them wrong. Just speak from "I" (I believe, I feel, I think) and everyone will get along fine, ok? Thanks for your involvement... keep it up! - Matt --- Yael Stark I'm compiling for the Think Healthy group a list of health practitioners. I have put you as EQ, would you like the rest of your details there? - Skype, personal statement, what type of coach, website, Twitter ... what do you think? unused wording joy and wonder, love, empathy and compassion self better decisions richer, fuller lives, in less emotional pain, Matt Perelstein Mission: To change the world from the inside out by adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to left-brain intellectual intelligence (IQ), expanding emotional, personal and social responsibility for all! email: Matt@2GetHelp.com cellphone: 916-599-8597 skype: MattPerelstein Website: Facebook Twitter www.EQRocks.com www.Facebook.com/EQRocks www.twitter.com/eqrockseqheals www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com www.Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop www.MattPerelstein.com www.Facebook.com/MattPerelstein www.Twitter.com/mattperelstein www.2GetHelp.org www.Facebook.com/2GetHelp.org www.Twitter.com/2GetHelp4Vets --- 08:54 Caregiver Mental Health Summit 2012 http://fovsummits.com/promotional-materials/ Thursday,?November?29th?-?Classes?Dedicated?to?Those?Who?Serve?Caregivers Caregiver?Resources:?10:00?am?-?11:30?am?CST Learn.what.resources. are.available. to. help. your. clients. beyond. your. own. doors?. Find. solu- ?ons. from. those. working. in. the. trenches. including. the. Department. of. Veteran. …??airs. and. hardworking.non-pro??ts.including.Give.…n.Hour? .…rm.your.arsenal.to.help.those.surviving.and. thriving. in.Life.…??er. Combat.with. the. best.resources. available. and. hear. directly. from.them. where.their.special?es.are.so.you.know.your.recommenda?ons.will.be.the.very.best.you.can. o??er? Facts?and?Trends?from?the?Trenches:?11:30?am?-?1:00?pm?CST This.frank.discussion.comes.straight.from.the.“front.lines”.of.Family.of.a.Vet’s.sta??.on.what. they.see.happening,. what.the.up.and. coming.trends.are.in.veteran.and.caregiver.care,.and. how.you.need.to.be.ready.to.serve.that.community? .Learn.how.to.help.families.with.these.crisis. issues.and.have.the.opportunity.to.pick.the.brains.of.those.working.with.these.families.and. helping.them.through.Life.…??er.Combat? Beyond?the?Caregiver:?1:00?pm?-?2:30?pm?CST Join.Beau.Chatham,.CEO.of.Warrior.Life.Coach.and.a.former.U?S?.…rmy.Infantry.o??cer,.as.he. discusses.his.revolu?onary.techniques.for.helping.not.only.veterans,.but.caregivers.and.veteran. families.as.well? .When.a.warrior.is.on.track.mentally,.his.caregiver’s.burden.signi??cantly. decreases? . Learn. how. Beau. is. helping. families. with. his. revolu?onary. R?E?C?O?N?. technique. survive.and.thrive.in.Life.…??er.Combat? Caregiver?Panel:?2:30?pm?-?4:00?pm?CST Speak.directly.with.caregivers.as.they.talk.to.you.about.the.reali?es.of.what.caregiving.can.really. do.to.your.mental.health? .This.panel.includes.top.veteran.caregiver.bloggers.Torrey.Shannon,. Kat.Honaker.(a?k?a?.Uncle.Sam’s.Mistress).and.…shley.Lambert-Wise.of.Ba?ling.Bare.and. others. as. they. open. up. and. share. with. you. their. struggles. and. how. they. overcame. them? .Learn.what’s.really.going.on,.what.caregivers.are.afraid.to.tell.you.and.why,.and.how. Life After Combat (LAC) --- Dr Wayne Dyer - Behind Every Thought Is An Energy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgtXUKKMkUI The ancestor to every action is in a thought - Emerson every thought has an energy. from low to high which can be measured power vs. force demo with audience what is your name facing him right hand on shoulder her right arm out straight to the side left hand on her outstretched arm, downward pressure truth: can resist lie: can't resist that moment make you feel weak or strong does that thought make you stronger or weaker think of something you feel shame about can't resist shame is the absolute lowest consciousness think of someone who has the highest spiritual energy Mother Theresa wow every thot has an energy higher energy gives us strength lower saps our strength "we coulda saved $93M if we'd have used this with Bill Clinton -- ha ha" --- Dr. Wayne Dyer on Michael Jackson Deepok Chopra agreed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyCZ4x0cmmg (9:36) Michael was one of the most spiritual person I've met come out with my family 8 children, for 5 days, in 1991 is there a such a thing as real magic, how, where Neverland I trusted my children with him 74 of 76 police cars jury voted 12-0 to acquit him kind and decent and spiritual enormous talent he personally was responsible for cutting the people in HALF with We are the World beautiful, beautiful human being one of the greatest entertainer, ever his heart was so pure anyone can make an acquisation he was a transcendent being with a heart as big as the sky! Like attracts like...Amazing, inspirational, uplifting, self-help advocate, author, and lecturer Dr. Wayne Dyer met the also amazing, inspirational, humanitarian and talented artist Michael Jackson and spent time with him at Neverland. Not so many in the public eye try as much as these men to create work that brings peace, truth and love to the world. They are examples of creativity and great energy that allow us to see the love, the divinity and greatness that comes from God or a higher power that motivates us to be better. So it is no surprise that Dr. Wayne Dyer kindly takes the time in his radio show 2009 to speak and bring truth and light on who Michael Jackson really is, honoring him and his legacy. Thank you Dr Wayne Dyer for everything that you do and for using the media to bring light while others use it to defame and confuse. --- Scotto quad! breakfast, potato pancakes good conversation they left NFL (9ers and donkeys both won!) and nappage "A King's Speech" - excellent "Finding Nemo" - very end... most excellent! 5:46 back here write to Megann Hoard --------------- mcp --------------- ND Testimonial Ralph 'David' Brown Miles, remember my story? All in the span of a few days: 1.) life threatening motorcycle accident. 2.) wife did not show up at hospital for 2 days. 3.) during MRI's a brain tumor is found. 4.) Get home and find wife was sleeping with man at Sacramento hotel and that's why she wasn't at the hospital. 5.) My dad died. 6.) My wife keep my kids from coming to dad's funeral. 6.) I had an extreme blowout of PTSD because of all that shit. Again, all this happened in just a few days. I thought it was the end of me, and I wanted it to be the end of a few others too. Matt, Paula, Hawk, others, and even YOU helped me through. You gotta move forward, even when mine fields, Concertina wire and other crap is in our way. You will prevail. Continue to reach out to all our ND friends, and stay strong! It will be hard. Let truth be told. But, you will overcome. It has to start with you, and let your friends come to your aid to provide support. SEMPER!!! --- 6:12 Thanks for listening, Umm. No, your comment wasn't offensive, it's just that I didn't get the joke, and you were the only one who replied, twice, and I hoped others would, too. We getting tons of new members, but not as much interaction in the group. Keep up the good discussions, and thanks for helping spread the good word about EQ! - Matt On 11/25/12 10:37 AM, Umm Sulaim . wrote: -------------------- Hello Matt, That is acceptable. I hope everyone observes the same. I prefer to use "one" instead of "I". Yes there are times I could modify my words. What is important is the individual; some instead of making their own observation regardless of whether they agree with any other comment or not pay more attention to the person. Moreover, most of my comments are a detailed description of my personal experience and are not just superficial theories that are discarded at moments of convenience. Just a point, I noticed my second comment on your thread - the one I cracked a joke about the turkey and the ram - was missing. Was that comment offensive? The one and only, Umm Sulaim --- Four Strategic Marketing Principles http://media.briantracy.com/downloads/pdf/WTA_Report.pdf There are four keys to successful sales and marketing. 1 Specialization – you must specialize in a particular customer, or market area. It must be clear to you and to everyone who deals with you that this is your area of specialization. 2 Differentiation – the title of the book Differentiate or Die is quite true. To be successful in business, you must have a competitive advantage, an area of superiority that makes you different and better than any of your competitors. Your competitive advantage must be something that your customer wants, needs, values and it willing to pay for. This is often called your “value of fering.” It is what makes you the “only supplier” for the customers you have chosen to serve. Sometimes it is called your “area of excellence.” Finally, in differentiation, you need a “Unique Selling Proposition.” This is something that you do or offer that no one else in the world can offer to your customers. As Jack Welch of General Electric said, “If you don’t have competitive advantage, don’t compete.” Your ability to develop a competitive advantage, a unique selling proposition, is the key to your success in business. 3 Segmentation – this is the process of identifying your ideal customers, the customers who will most appreciate the product or service in which you specialize, and the way in which your product or service is superior to anyone else’s. 4 Concentration – this requires that you concentrate all of your sales, marketing and business efforts on contacting and selling exactly those customers who can most benefit and enjoy from what it is you do better than anyone else. Seven Key Result Areas of Selling There are seven steps to selling more of your product or service. 1 Prospecting – this is the process of lead generation. Where are your prospects? Who are they? How do you get to them? 2 Establishing rapport – your ability to build trust, credibility and confidence in your prospective customer is the key to making the sale. 3 Identifying needs accurately – this is the process of asking focused, targeted questions to make sure that you fully understand what your customer wants and needs and is willing to pay for. 4 Presenting – this is where you show, teach and explain the benefits of what you sell. You focus on what your product “does” rather than what your product “is.” 5 Answering objections – this is where you answer the normal and natural concerns that prospects have about price and capability. 6 Closing the sale – you must learn how to ask for the order and tell the prospect exactly what he or she has to do to complete the sale. 7 Getting resales and referrals – this is the “acid test” of success. Do your customers buy from you again, and recommend you to their friends and associates? This is the key to the future. Seven Strategic Questions There are seven strategic questions you need to ask in the process of specialization, differentiation, segmentation and concentration. Here they are: 1 Who is my customer? Who is my ideal customer? Who is my perfect customer? You must be absolutely clear about the age, income, education, tastes, history, background and desires of your ideal customer before you begin a business, and especially before you begin advertising. 2 Why does he or she buy? What need or desire does he or she have that causes him or her to buy in the first place? 3 What value, result or reward does he or she expect when he or she buys from me? What is my value offering to my customer? 4 What do you do better than anyone else? What is your competitive advantage? What makes you superior to any other choice the customer can make? 5 Who or what is your competition? Not only your direct competition, but any other use of the same amount of money, or any other way to satisfy the same need. You must be crystal clear about who you are competing against if you are going to compete successfully. 6 Why does your customer buy from your competitor? What value does he perceive that he receives from your competitor that he does not receive from you? How could you counteract this? 7 What does your customer need to be convinced of to buy from you, rather than from anyone else? --- LI-EIN Hello, everyone. I'm the author of Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work and a few articles on emotional intelligence, including Applications of Emotional Intelligence to Schools and Workplace. I just returned from Europe where I gave a very successful presentation in Vienna, titled, How Emotional Intelligence is Transforming Business Around the World (and How You Can Change With It). If I can be of assistance to anyone of you in this network, please feel free to call on me. 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In your life? authenticity-marc.blogspot.com.es 4:01 AM Wanting Meaningful Work Is Not a First World Problem - Umair Haque - Harvard Business Review blogs.hbr.org 3:48 AM Video: This Emotional Life Trailer | Watch This Emotional Life Online | PBS Video video.pbs.org 3:48 AM Search for this emotional life www.pbs.org 3:43 AM Video: Meat Loaf - Web Exclusive | Watch Tavis Smiley Online | PBS Video video.pbs.org 3:43 AM Video: Magic Johnson | Watch Tavis Smiley Online | PBS Video video.pbs.org 3:42 AM Video: Actress Sally Field, Part 2 | Watch Tavis Smiley Online | PBS Video video.pbs.org 3:41 AM PBS: Public Broadcasting Service www.pbs.org 3:35 AM EQRocks.com EQ Blog | EQRocks.com www.eqrocks.com 3:28 AM Inbox | LinkedIn www.linkedin.com 3:25 AM Workspace Webmail :: Compose email16.secureserver.net 3:23 AM EQ 4 All, by 2GetHelp, Inc. | EQ Resources 2gethelp.org 3:21 AM Edit Profile | LinkedIn www.linkedin.com 3:14 AM https://email16.secureserver.net/webmail.php?&auth=6b88adf893eb7802d470835ae25174ac&login=1&ssl=0 email16.secureserver.net Yesterday - Saturday, November 24, 2012 3:55 PM Workspace Login login.secureserver.net 9:58 AM Richard Branson (Private) - YouTube www.youtube.com 9:58 AM Submission Queue : The Emotional Intelligence Network | LinkedIn www.linkedin.com 9:57 AM Participants: The Emotional Intelligence Network | LinkedIn www.linkedin.com 9:55 AM The Game of Thanks - Esther and Jerry Hicks - Heal Your Life www.healyourlife.com 9:55 AM (1) The Emotional Intelligence Network www.facebook.com 9:51 AM Workspace Webmail :: Mail Index :: Inbox email16.secureserver.net 9:50 AM Workspace Login login.secureserver.net 9:46 AM EQ 4 All, by 2GetHelp, Inc. | Bringing the joy and wonder of Emotional Intelligence to the world! 2gethelp.org 9:45 AM Emotional Intelligence 2gethelp.org 9:44 AM Emotional Intelligence (EQRocks!) | Scoop.it www.scoop.it 9:43 AM EQRocks.com EQ Blog | EQRocks.com www.eqrocks.com 9:43 AM http://www.scoop.it/u/eqrocks?widget=grey#pg=1&mi=topics&si=curated&panel=followedPanel www.scoop.it 9:42 AM EQRocks.com EQ Resources | EQRocks.com www.eqrocks.com 9:40 AM Workspace Login email16.secureserver.net --- also, I'd like it categorized, as much as possible. Some is : - Life: a record of what I'm doing (like what time I left, or how much I paid for gas, usually down the right side of the page) - EQ: most are EQ/ND thots, research, and ideas (like "All guilt, shame and anger is optional", on left/middle of pages) - T's: some are my thots about how I'm doing - ToDos: start with >>, and are important to me. - BIG IDEAS: have arrows pointing at 'em, and are Very important to me. - Drawings: make a note in the text (like: see pic of street layout) - Tables: if/when you find a table of data or a grid, please try to reproduce it as best you can in text. most entries are 'date stamped', written like this, on the right side of the page: 10.27.2012 Wal*Mart Ukiah PKP So, from the 10.27.2012, thru the next time there's a date stamp like that, were all written on 10.27. You'll need to come up with a way to differentiate dates, so it's obvious when a date changes. The trick is that some of stuff in the category of Life and ToDos kinda matter about the date... while the EQ , T's, >>, ??, and any BIG IDEAS don't really matter... so please figure out a system that's fast for you, and easy to separate later. Got this & a 2013 planner(!) & a calculator/ white bd/cork bd combo for kitchen - found the pen - didn't have the 1 I wanted --- 09:30 - 10 Sean here to get started on transcription --- LI-EIN mcp testimonial Humbled by the gesture, Matt. Many thanks to you. This indeed is a treasure trove of titles. Hope it reaches more people, and better still if we could imbibe even one line from any of the picks. Posted by Sudeshna B Baruah - “When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.” - Lao Tzu “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” - Lao Tzu “Rely on your own strength of body and soul. Take for your star self-reliance, faith, honesty and industry. Don’t take too much advice — keep at the helm and steer your own ship, and remember that the great art of commanding is to take a fair share of the work. Fire above the mark you intend to hit. Energy, invincible determination with the right motive, are the levers that move the world.” - Noah Porter “I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.” - Lao-Tzu -------- mcp ----------- If you don't like it, change it. If you don't want to change it, it can't be that bad. --- Sunday evening is a pretty good time, social media wise #1 Friday evening #2 Sunday evening #3 Saturday morning --- 10:09 Hi Sean, I'd like 'em categorized, as much as possible. Some entries would be under: - Life: a record of what I'm doing (like what time I left, or how much I paid for gas, usually down the right side of the page) - EQ: most are EQ/ND thots, research, and ideas (like "All guilt, shame and anger is optional", on left/middle of pages) - T's: some are my thots about how I'm doing - ToDos: start with >>, and are important to me. - BIG IDEAS: have arrows pointing at 'em, and are Very important to me. - Drawings: make a note in the text (like: see pic of street layout) - Tables: if/when you find a table of data or a grid, please try to reproduce it as best you can in text. most entries are 'date stamped', written like this, on the right side of the page: 10.27.2012 Wal*Mart Ukiah PKP So, from the 10.27.2012, thru the next time there's a date stamp like that, were all written on 10.27. You'll need to come up with a way to differentiate dates, so it's obvious when a date changes. The trick is that some of stuff in the category of Life and ToDos kinda matter about the date... while the EQ , T's, >>, ??, and any BIG IDEAS don't really matter... so please figure out a system that's fast for you, and easy to separate later. Got this & a 2013 planner(!) & a calculator/ white bd/cork bd combo for kitchen - found the pen - didn't have the 1 I wanted MCP Standards / Writing Conventions (see links attached) I shall express myself, as I wish... and won't it be interesting to see how it goes and grows... I usually use . in dates rather than / so today is 11.25.2012 try to always use the 4-digit year (mostly outta respect) in filenames, dates should be written YYYYMMDD (ex: D-R_20121125.doc) so they sort properly 1'05 Month and Year only (M'YY) rare BACKUP Every day, using right-click, Send to Zip, and call it ~mcp_Ts_20121125.zip, and move to a \zArchive folder. use a zero in front of the time, if it's am so 05:11 time, am, until 10:00, then 10am or 10:23am 3:33pm Abbreviations and Naming Conventions (!) = wow! something cool / interesting / really bad, etc. (?) or ?? = big, unanswered questions when (!) or (?) are at the end of a parenthetical, close properly with 2 )) ex: (this is a parenthetical remark, with a smiley at the end :)) (sp?) spelling is probably wrong, if it matters, like someone's name ?!? = ? maybe, huh, maybe ? !?! = definitely, but some ? ', " except for book titles and actual speech ("), use single quotes within sentences (ex: your 'disorder') ^ increase (ex: ^ Feelings = Feelings go up) \/ decrease (ex: \/ Logic = Logic goes down) (which I had a better symbol for down/decrease/less) --- use --- (only) to split separate T's - and use - to separate a T, within a T (same basic subject as the one above, but dif. msg. E or E's = Emotions T or T's or Thots = Thoughts F or F's = Feelings E or E's = Emotions R or R's = Relationships B or B's = Behaviour(s) Behaviour = Behavior (I like the European spelling better) F's and E's (in that order) D-R = Draper-Richards Foundation (THE most important stuff, to me) T's, F's and B's (in that order) IQ + EQ = LOL !! (always 2 !!, with a space before) when listing both, put IQ first Name ND's by date and city = ND_20080314_Fresno AR = AutoResponder (automated email sendouts, like the 100 Emotional Lessons in 100 Days) w/ = with (but you knew that one) I'll sometimes put hyp-hens where they don't belong... it's ok. one of my Worst, is that I often CAPITALIZE stuff that Ain't supposed to be capped, for Emphasis. I'll try not to overdo it, as some find it annoying, and yelling. tuff. "t" "u" "fuff" "fuff" = tuff, and tough. (,R#) = Audio recording from my Sony transcriber. # = order downloaded ~ -> mcp or 2gh/nd ~mcp, ~2GetHelp My -> subfolders MyApps, MyMusic, MyPictures, MyInvoices other biz TLM, Autodesk, EPA, CDPH z -> system zArchive, zLog >> = ToDo, by me << = ToDue, by others Collect: Euc Testimonial MCP Testimonial ND Testimonial EQ Testimonial <-- new File and folder names go from largest to smallest (ex:Facebook_MCP_20121125.txt) LI-EIN = LinkedIn, The Emotional Intelligence Network a number on the next line, ex: 20/30 = 20 requests to join/30 in submission queue FB = Facebook or Fort Bragg(!?) USPS, PO = US Post Office ------------ mcp ----------- "an excellent quote" - author (see extra goodies below) --- 10:28 euc testimonial Just received my starter pack of Eucalyptus from Matt. Smells so good. --- snooooooze... --- 11.26 01:03 If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. - Jim Rohn --- 1: I am aware of myself and my feelings 2: Knowing what our body Feels 3: Accepting our Feelings 4: Expressing Feelings & Emotions 5: Release of Negative Feelings 6: Replace Negative feelings with Positive ones 7: Rejoice! about all our Learning and Growth - 01:13 Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? @RayM dude, you rock, as usual. (I have to tell you that I copy most Everything you say for my notes, but I always give you credit for 'em) To me, you explain EQ in the most practical way I have seen or heard! And, not 5 minutes ago, I was writing about knowing that we are always "at choice" is the first key to EQ... and I read your words that sum it up so beautifully... "No one can make us feel good or bad about ourselves. No one can make us happy. Because anything they say or do, regardless of how outrageous most people might find it, is just an EVENT, and we always have a Choice how we want to look at it, and ourselves, what Meaning we want to attach to it, and how much importance we want to attach to it. Those and others such choices are ours alone to make." boom, this, to me, is the key to EQ! We call it Emotional Responsibility, and it's this simple switch -- understanding that "you did not make me angry... I made me angry", "You cannot make me happy, or unhappy... only I can do that." -- changes Everything! So, back to Ray S's original question about thicker skin... I don't think it's about how thick our skin is (personally, mine is pretty thin)... it's about the MEANING we put on the criticism. If I do not respect the person it came from, or I don't already feel imperfect in the area that was criticized, it doesn't MEAN much to me or about me, so it doesn't hurt much, either. However, if it's something I already fell badly about, or I put negative meanings on it, or it's the same thing my dad used to yell, that hurt me as a child, then it's gonna 'bring up' more feelings. To me, the keys are in the EQ techniques: Basic Steps to Emotional Healing: - Identify what I'm feeling - Explore the belief system ("what did that mean about me?") - Reassess the situation - Make new decisions, change the meaning, release the negative feeling 7 Steps to Emotional Healing EQ 1: I understand that I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and behaviours 2: Know what my body feels 3: Accept my feelings, thoughts and beliefs 4: Express negative feelings in productive ways 5: Release negative feelings, change negative meanings 6: Replace negatives thoughts and feelings with positive, productive ones 7: REJOICE about me, about us, about life! Thanks. - Matt --- 01:52 Euc Subscribers as of 11.26.2012 41x active, 110x canceled (see Recurring payments dashboard) $806/mo. 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We seek to make a foundational shift in human consciousness, and we believe this can be accomplished, thru the education and leadership using Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence is set of learned skills, focussed on teaching people to use their creative, feeling right-brain, in add it to the intellectual, cognitive left-brain training that has historically been the focus of education, to make better The key lies in Emotional Responsibility, which most people do not have, because they are unaware of the concept. “You made me mad.” vs. “I am angry at you.” “You were late.” vs. “I expected you.” --- 02:20 Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html Building Resilience: Listen to an interview with Martin Seligman.(00:24) http://hbr.org/2011/04/building-resilience/ar/1 Post-Traumatic Growth(!) anxiety, depression, suicide, substance abuse most people are resilient (see details below) Learn About Positive Psychology http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1554 Comprehensive Soldier Fitness: An Overview http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1552 ------------ mcp ----------- Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html ------------ mcp ----------- Michael Norton: How to buy happiness http://www.ted.com/talks/michael_norton_how_to_buy_happiness.html - Douglas and Walter, two University of Pennsylvania MBA graduates, were laid off by their Wall Street companies 18 months ago. Both went into a tailspin: They were sad, listless, indecisive, and anxious about the future. For Douglas, the mood was transient. After two weeks he told himself, “It’s not you; it’s the economy going through a bad patch. I’m good at what I do, and there will be a market for my skills.” He updated his résumé and sent it to a dozen New York firms, all of which rejected him. He then tried six companies in his Ohio hometown and eventually landed a position. Walter, by contrast, spiraled into hopelessness: “I got fired because I can’t perform under pressure,” he thought. “I’m not cut out for finance. The economy will take years to recover.” Even as the market improved, he didn’t look for another job; he ended up moving back in with his parents. Douglas and Walter (actually composites based on interviewees) stand at opposite ends of the continuum of reactions to failure. The Douglases of the world bounce back after a brief period of malaise; within a year they’ve grown because of the experience. The Walters go from sadness to depression to a paralyzing fear of the future. Yet failure is a nearly inevitable part of work; and along with dashed romance, it is one of life’s most common traumas. People like Walter are almost certain to find their careers stymied, and companies full of such employees are doomed in hard times. It is people like Douglas who rise to the top, and whom organizations must recruit and retain in order to succeed. But how can you tell who is a Walter and who is a Douglas? And can Walters become Douglases? Can resilience be measured and taught? Thirty years of scientific research has put the answers to these questions within our reach. We have learned not only how to distinguish those who will grow after failure from those who will collapse, but also how to build the skills of people in the latter category. I have worked with colleagues from around the world to develop a program for teaching resilience. It is now being tested in an organization of 1.1 million people where trauma is more common and more severe than in any corporate setting: the U.S. Army. Its members may struggle with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but thousands of them also experience post-traumatic growth. Our goal is to employ resilience training to reduce the number of those who struggle and increase the number of those who grow. We believe that businesspeople can draw lessons from this approach, particularly in times of failure and stagnation. Working with both individual soldiers (employees) and drill sergeants (managers), we are helping to create an army of Douglases who can turn their most difficult experiences into catalysts for improved performance. Optimism Is the Key Although I’m now called the father of positive psychology, I came to it the long, hard way, through many years of research on failure and helplessness. In the late 1960s I was part of the team that discovered “learned helplessness.” We found that dogs, rats, mice, and even cockroaches that experienced mildly painful shock over which they had no control would eventually just accept it, with no attempt to escape. It was next shown that human beings do the same thing. In an experiment published in 1975 by Donald Hiroto and me and replicated many times since, subjects are randomly divided into three groups. Those in the first are exposed to an annoying loud noise that they can stop by pushing a button in front of them. Those in the second hear the same noise but can’t turn it off, though they try hard. Those in the third, the control group, hear nothing at all. Later, typically the following day, the subjects are faced with a brand-new situation that again involves noise. To turn the noise off, all they have to do is move their hands about 12 inches. The people in the first and third groups figure this out and readily learn to avoid the noise. But those in the second group typically do nothing. In phase one they failed, realized they had no control, and became passive. In phase two, expecting more failure, they don’t even try to escape. They have learned helplessness. Strangely, however, about a third of the animals and people who experience inescapable shocks or noise never become helpless. What is it about them that makes this so? Over 15 years of study, my colleagues and I discovered that the answer is optimism. We developed questionnaires and analyzed the content of verbatim speech and writing to assess “explanatory style” as optimistic or pessimistic. We discovered that people who don’t give up have a habit of interpreting setbacks as temporary, local, and changeable. (“It’s going away quickly; it’s just this one situation, and I can do something about it.”) That suggested how we might immunize people against learned helplessness, against depression and anxiety, and against giving up after failure: by teaching them to think like optimists. We created the Penn Resiliency Program, under the direction of Karen Reivich and Jane Gillham, of the University of Pennsylvania, for young adults and children. The program has been replicated in 21 diverse school settings—ranging from suburbs to inner cities, from Philadelphia to Beijing. We also created a 10-day program in which teachers learn techniques for becoming more optimistic in their own lives and how to teach those techniques to their students. We’ve found that it reduces depression and anxiety in the children under their care. (Another way we teach positive psychology is through the master of applied positive psychology, or MAPP, degree program, now in its sixth year at Penn.) In November 2008, when the legendary General George W. Casey, Jr., the army chief of staff and former commander of the multinational force in Iraq, asked me what positive psychology had to say about soldiers’ problems, I offered a simple answer: How human beings react to extreme adversity is normally distributed. On one end are the people who fall apart into PTSD, depression, and even suicide. In the middle are most people, who at first react with symptoms of depression and anxiety but within a month or so are, by physical and psychological measures, back where they were before the trauma. That is resilience. On the other end are people who show post-traumatic growth. They, too, first experience depression and anxiety, often exhibiting full-blown PTSD, but within a year they are better off than they were before the trauma. These are the people of whom Friedrich Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” I told General Casey that the army could shift its distribution toward the growth end by teaching psychological skills to stop the downward spiral that often follows failure. He ordered the organization to measure resilience and teach positive psychology to create a force as fit psychologically as it is physically. This $145 million initiative, under the direction of Brigadier General Rhonda Cornum, is called Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) and consists of three components: a test for psychological fitness, self-improvement courses available following the test, and “master resilience training” (MRT) for drill sergeants. These are based on PERMA: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment—the building blocks of resilience and growth. --- we're creatures of narrative (belief systems) US military learned helplessness what's the opposite Penn relience program taught set of skills to teachers who taught to students measured students lower depression and anxiety growth and relience 40,000 teachers in the army, the drill seargents who teach the 1.1M the military is not a hospital reaction, subject 3,100x so far, 180 NCOs get 10 days of training 1. Mental toughness 2. Leading with Strengths 3. New Social Skills for Leadership learn how to do in their own lives, then teach them drill sargents very tough people 3+ tours very critical, leaning back, then leaning forward girly, touchy-feely, psycho-babble rated at 4.9 of 5, "best training ever had in the army" pentagon will publish results first with normal adolescents, divorced couples then for business corporate model military model thot we'd have to radically change, but not so. they're 20yo, cellphones, fight with wife over grades or readily adaptable program, 15-20% 'tinkering' Flourish HBR.org --- Post-Traumatic Growth and Building Resilience (see also MP3) http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html Post-Traumatic Growth and Building Resilience by HBR IdeaCast | 6:38 PM March 3, 2011 Comments (9) Featured Guest: Martin Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and author of the HBR article Building Resilience. He is also the author of Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Download this podcast Subscribe via: RSS | iTunes All Podcasts TRANSCRIPT SARAH GREEN: Welcome to the HBR IdeaCast from Harvard Business Review, I'm Sarah Green. I'm talking today with University of Pennsylvania Professor Martin Seligman, the man known as the father of positive psychology. He's the author of the new book, Flourish, and of the HBR article, "Building Resilience" in the April 2011 issue of the magazine. Marty, thanks so much for talking with us today. MARTIN SELIGMAN: Glad to be here. SARAH GREEN: I know it's a huge project, but I'd like to start with having you just give us a quick encapsulation of the work that you've been doing with the United States Army, which is the foundation of the article. MARTIN SELIGMAN: About two and a half years ago, the chief of staff of the army called me to the Pentagon and said, suicide, post traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, divorce, depression. What is positive psychology say about that, Dr. Seligman? And there was a meeting with general staff and I said that the human reaction to extreme adversity-- combat, being laid, off divorce-- is bell shaped. And on the left-hand side, you got people who fall apart. And those are five ways in which we fall apart: anxiety, depression, suicide, post traumatic stress disorder. And I thought the Army should continue to spend $5 to $10 billion a year treating those things. But the Army is not a hospital. And there are two really important things about the reaction to adversity. The majority of people are resilient. And what that means is they go through a tough time after unemployment, after rejection, after combat, but a month or two later, by our psychological and physical measures, they're back where they were. And then a large number of people show what's called post traumatic growth. And what that means is they typically go through a very hard time, often post traumatic stress disorder. But a year later they're stronger than they were before by psychological and physical measures. These are the people of whom Nietzsche said, 'if it doesn't kill me, it makes me stronger'. So my recommendation to General Casey was to measure and build resilience, and to create an army, which was what he wanted to do that was just as psychologically fit as physically fit. SARAH GREEN: Well, before we get into some of the how of how that happened, as I was reading the article I realized just how much we, in the media, focus on post traumatic stress disorder. And I always come away from those articles feeling as if the only way to avoid PTSD is to avoid trauma. Which of course, is impossible no matter who you are. I think you actually do us a great service by switching the focus to post traumatic growth. But I wanted to ask you before we get more into that, do you think that there is a negative impact on people of focusing so much on post traumatic stress disorder? MARTIN SELIGMAN: You've hit on a reality, Sarah. We went up to West Point and we asked, how many of you are aware of post traumatic stress disorder? And 97%. And how many of you are aware of post traumatic growth? It was about 10%. And the reason that's very important is that it's self-fulfilling in the following way. So it just isn't depression. If the only thing you know about is post traumatic stress disorder and you have some awful event, and the next day you burst into tears, you're going to think, I'm going under. I've got post dramatic stress disorder. And what that does is worsen the symptoms, which are symptoms of anxiety and depression. Which in turn, makes you think even more certainly that you're going under, which worsens the symptoms. If, on the other hand, you have just a little bit of medical literacy and you know that crying and mourning and feeling very down are typical, normal reactions to being fired, to combat, and that the usual response is resilience and sometimes growth, that stops the downward spiral. So it's very important for people to know that the normal response to very bad things is not going under. It's not post traumatic stress disorder. It's resilience and not infrequently, growth. SARAH GREEN: Let's talk a little bit more about some of the characteristics of post traumatic growth. One of the things you mention in the article is that a key part of it is seeing the failure of the trauma as a fork in the. Road What do you mean by that and why is that so important? MARTIN SELIGMAN: Well, very often, extremely bad events lead to personal and moral dilemmas. And they're existential crises in which you have to make decisions. And therefore, we talk about it as a fork in the road. One of the most interesting things about depression, which is the big, big component of post traumatic stress disorder, it is an emotion that tells you to detach from goals you had. That they're unreachable. And that creates a fork in the road. It makes you ask the question, what other things might I do? What doors might open for me? And one of the important things about knowing about post traumatic growth and resilience is when those doors open for you, if you are paralyzed by the depression, by the anxiety, by the symptoms of post traumatic growth, you're not going to walk through those doors. You're not going to take advantage of them. But knowing that typically, people who suffer very bad events have new doors open for them and that it's important to be prepared to walk through them. SARAH GREEN: One of the other key elements that you talk about when you talk about growth after a traumatic event, any event, is the importance of articulating life principles. Why is it so important to do that as sort of the final step in growth? MARTIN SELIGMAN: Human beings are ineluctably creatures of narrative, creatures who make meaning, tell stories about their lives. And to the extent you can create a narrative of your trauma, a narrative of unemployment, a narrative of combat in which new principles, a more mature way of viewing the world arise and you can go, like Orpheus, come back from the underground and make sense of what's in the underground, and tell the world what's in the underground, that there's reason to think that's an important enabling condition after trauma. SARAH GREEN: So I'd like to transition now into the sort of nuts and bolts of how you adapted all this information about growth and trauma into a program that would work for the US military. MARTIN SELIGMAN: Well, starting about almost 20 years ago, after I had worked on learned helplessness, we began to ask the question, what can you do with human beings to create the opposite of learned helplessness in the face of trauma? So we developed a resilience program called the Penn Resilience Program. And we started to go to schools, first to classrooms, and then to whole schools. And now to national school systems. and we taught a set of skills to teachers. And the teachers then, taught them to the students. And we measured the anxiety and depression in students. So what we had basically found in 21 replications across the world of giving the Penn Resilience Program to teachers to teach was that over the next couple of years, the students of these teachers compared to controls had lower depression and anxiety. So that was the background of our work with the Army. And the next step was again, going back to this meeting with General Casey. When I recommended that the Army try to move the entire distribution toward growth and resilience he said, well, we've read your papers on positive education and we see that you teach teachers these skills and then the teachers teach the students. Well that, Dr. Seligman, is the Army model. And I said, it is? And he said, yeah. We have 40,000 teachers in the Army-- the drill sergeants. And so he said, the job should be to train all 40,000 drill sergeants in these skills. They will then teach the entire 1.1 million person army these skills, and we will measure, very carefully, if that prevents post traumatic stress disorder. And most importantly, the military isn't a hospital, increases performance, increases what readers of the Harvard Business Review would call productivity. And so that's what we're in the middle of right now. SARAH GREEN: So I know this is still in progress, but can you give us a sense of how it's going? MARTIN SELIGMAN: I can give you a subjective sense, but I can't tell you the results. Not because I don't know them, but because Congress has not yet been briefed on them. So in a couple of months I think this will be front page news. But for now I can tell you what the reaction of the-- we've now graduated 3,100 drill sergeants from Penn. And the way that's structured is every month 180 non-commissioned officers come to Penn and we give them 10 days of training in the Penn Resilience Program. It has three parts. The first part is mental toughness. The second part is leading with strengths. And the third part is new social skills for leadership. And the 10 days are divided. First they learn how to use these skills in their own lives, and then they learn how to teach them. And the results are really fascinating. You can actually watch the results in action from the back of the room. So on the first day these drill sergeants who are really tough people going through three tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, they're war heroes, and they're very critical as you'd imagine. So many of them, on the first couple of hours, are sitting there leaning back in their chairs. And then by the end of the first day, they're leaning forward and actively participating. We had worried that they would say, girly, touchy-feely psycho babble. And to our astonishment, what we find after 10 days is that the average rating of the program is 4.9 out of 5. Hundreds of them have said, this is the best training I ever had in the army. And emblematic is one sergeant who came up to me the day after we had taught active constructive responding to good events and he said, last night on the phone my 11-year-old son and I were talking about what he did in little league that day. He had done something good. And after five minutes my son said, is this really you, Daddy? So the results have been to the observer, subjectively unexpectedly, some would say astonishingly positive. And in the next couple of months, the Pentagon will start publishing the results. And I'm not free to release them at this point. SARAH GREEN: Well it does sound tremendously encouraging, and I can just hear the wheels in my listeners' heads turning saying, OK, it worked for teachers. It worked for drill Sergeant. I've got to get my managers to do this. Can you talk a little bit about the challenges you faced in adapting this program from one organizational context to another? MARTIN SELIGMAN: It's actually pretty straightforward. So I should say how the Penn Resilience Program came about. We first began it with normal adolescents, with divorced couples. And then we actually adapted it for corporations. So we created a generic model of one, mental toughness, two, leading with strengths, and three, social skills and leadership. So we had a generic model that the Penn Resilience Program used in many settings. Mostly educational, but a bit corporately And then when the army came along, we adapted the generic model to the military. Strangely enough, we thought we were going to have to radically change the 10 day program since it wasn't at all military. And then when we started to interview soldiers, what we found was that these were 20-year-olds for the most part. They have cellphones. And when you see post traumatic stress disorder and rejection, it's not about your buddy being killed. What it is typically, is a rejection back in Kansas City. If you've got a cellphone and before you go into combat, you get into a fight with your wife about the kids' grades and it's the rich or that she's running around with someone. And so we found that most of the examples that we use in schools for teachers, in corporate life, for couples, for depression and adolescence, did pretty well. So we basically changed about 20 to 25% of the content. So that's a long-winded way of saying, Sarah, that this is a readily adaptable program that has been used in a variety of settings and only needs a bit of tinkering with for corporate life. SARAH GREEN: Well, I think that's good news for all of us in the corporate side. Marty, thanks so much for talking with us today. MARTIN SELIGMAN: Well, thank you, Sarah. SARAH GREEN: That was University of Pennsylvania's Martin Seligman. The book is Flourish, and the article, "Building Resilience" appears in the April issue of HBR. For more, go to hbr.org. - as psychologically fit as they are physically fit spiritual and moral dilemmas PTSD vs. PTG GEN. George W. Casey Jr., Chief of Staff of the Army - Army To Train Soldiers In Emotional Resiliency (see also MP3, 29 min) http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112717611 So resilience begins by teaching soldiers, just as we have taught thousands of people, to recognize the most catastrophic things they say to themselves when bad events occur and to dispute them, to find the realistic causes of the bad events. should be trained by same trainers, same NCOs not outside psych soldiers teaching soldiers catastrophic thoughts DRPDA started with middle school teachers --- D-R people who might be prone to depression, by getting people to think about the catastrophic thoughts they say to themselves, by getting them conscious of the things that cause depression, the most catastrophic interpretations of bad events, you not only get a vocabulary, but the data are that programs of this sort done preventatively can circumvent the need for therapy some of the time. And roughly, we find they roughly halve the rate of depression among adolescents when they're given preventatively. So that's a good reason that this would work. CONAN: This is TALK OF THE NATION. I'm Neal Conan, in Washington. U.S. Army surveys show that at least 20 percent of combat soldiers show symptoms of mental health problems like depression or PTSD. Sadly, suicide is a growing problem. there is a huge effort on de-stigmatizing going to get mental health assistance, - D-R measure results: Test for depression, anxiety, etc. test again later the usual negative indicators anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide. Brig. Gen. CORNUM: Well, we're not describing it as an experiment. We're describing it as training, and I think we have shown that emphasis on physical fitness has resulted in that the Army's average, you know, percent body fat is lower than the civilian society, so I think we will - we have reason to think that unequal emphasis on psychological fitness will result in our psychological fitness being higher than the civilian population in general. --- Rethinking Education: Educating Hearts and Minds - Daniel Goleman with George Lucas http://www.morethansound.net/store/wired-to-connect/rethinking-education-educating-hearts-and-minds/prod_84.html Learn how teachers can: - Break down the barriers between kids that create destructive behavior - Utilize contemporary culture to make learning meaningful for today's youth - Foster in students the optimal neural state for receiving and retaining information --- grief is the most individual http://video.pbs.org/video/1374092401 (00:59) This Emotional Life Your Friends' Friends Can Make You Happy Dr. Nicholas Christakis explains how happiness flows one person to another. http://video.pbs.org/video/1376654831 social networks if your friend becomes happy, it increases the probability that you will become happy by 15% friend's friend, 10% friend's friend's friend, 6% friend's friend's friend's friend, 0% This Emotional Life http://www.pbs.org/search/?q=this+emotional+life&mediatype=Video --- 03:40 ordered 4 used copies of "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" on Paula's account! $22.96 delivery estimate: December 3, 2012 PP = 2953 -25.11 GoDaddy EQSavesLives.com EQHeals.com EQisGreaterThanIQ.com - Hi. I just ordered 4 copies of the same book, going to the same address, but it seems to have charged me too much shipping. As I understand it, it should be $3.99 for the first book, and $0.99 thereafter... for a total of $7... rather than the $15 that was charged. Please confirm. Thanks. - Matt --- Walmart Brother sewing machine, for PR? $153 http://www.walmart.com/ip/Brother-Computerized-Sewing-Machine-CS6000I/4764726#ProductDetail --- 04:06 LI-EIN Sheereen Rawat commented on The issue of trust What is trust: a behaviour, a behavioural intention, a belief, a cause, a choice, a rational choice, an effect, an emergent state, an interaction, a process, a psychological condition, a social structure, a trait? Definition of trust: "a willingness of a party to be vulnerable to the actions of another party based on the expectation that the other will perform a particular action important to the trustor, irrespective of the ability to monitor or control that party" ? (quote from Mayer, Davis & Schoorman) Characteristics of trust: benevolence/caring/compassion, ability/competence, integrity of character, dependability, predictability, credibility, reliability? Benefits of trust: communication, cooperation, individual performance, organisational stability, team performance, organisational citizenship behaviour, exploration and risk-taking, learning, social capital, followership, leadership, reduced transaction costs? What builds trust: altruism, civic virtue, conscientiousness, decision commitment, job performance, job satisfaction, job performance, language, length of relationship, non-task communication, personality, prior history, propensity to trust, reciprocity, reward systems, reputation, reward systems, risk buffers, psychological safety, positive attitudes towards and willingness to assist the exchange partner? --- 04:08 off to do orders, then go (SF) 11-11:50 IMS Standup mtg 11:30-noon:15 SR get stuff outta upstairs kitchen cabinets, fridge clean/fill/pic my new fridge(!) 12:40 ferry nap in sun BEAUTIFUL day! 1:30 here (IMS) --- "Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning. We give our own meaning to time as to life." - Jonathan Lockwood Huie --- Paul, a. Sorry again that I missed the last BOD mtg. I'd like to call in to tomorrow's meeting (either on the conference line or directly), if we can work that out somehow. b. My name is misspelled a few times in the Minutes... I'll notify Bob. c. It seems a bit strange to me that the MFF just committed to the largest cash outlay in the history of the festival... hiring the new Director... but there is no mention of that decision, or anything about her, anywhere in the last few meetings or in the agenda for this one. I remember being invited to come meet her... but it was the middle of the day on a weekday, so I could not... and that's the last I've heard (except Ann happened to mention that she accepted the job and has already found a place to live, and is on her way). What's the scoop? thanks. - Matt --- Turkey pot pie pie crust turkey gravy potatoes vegies top cook freeze Yum! Brings Thanksgiving back! --- 6:20 ferry nap and FB sit down by bathroom nice legroom! Marin B MNF, Panthers and Cam Newtom beat the Eagles, both losing teams, but entertaining Cam does not have control of his EQ. immature. no more running / passing QBs, was 10 passes per game, now over 30, 300 yards is 'normal' now. wide receivers are amazing nowadays running backs are not as imporant as they were. 9:23 clean fridge and desk, and unpack a it. --- Five Ways Managers Can Improve Their Performance http://under30ceo.com/five-ways-managers-can-improve-their-performance/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Under30CEOAll+%28Under30CEO%29 Under30CEO | November 26, 2012 | Leave a Comment and 50 Reactions There is no such thing as a perfect manager, but in today’s market it is important that every employee improves his or her performance. Here are a few things that managers can do to improve their performance. 1. Lead by Example While this common phrase is used daily in various situations, it is equally important in management. Most managers have been placed in positions not because they are the best in their field but because of their experience. This experience sometimes causes them to become lazy and lax in their approach. Managers feel that they should just give direction instead of showing their team members the right way by performing to the best of their ability. 2. Give The Reason Some managers have a hard time communicating with their employees. Oftentimes, they will assign them tasks without giving them a reason. Employees should not be told to do something without a reason. Conveying the reason gives the employee a better idea of the purpose. For example, Manager John tells the front line employees to always answer the phones on the first ring. John has just given a command and has not given them a reason why this is important. It would have been better if John told the reason to answer the call on the first ring is because the company is trying to improve sales from inbound calls. It is important that the phones are answered on the first ring so that there are no missed opportunities. 3. Implement & Support Peer to Peer Coaching To further improve communication efforts between managers and employees, peer to peer coaching is a suggested method. This allows employees to help each other throughout the day without managers handling all of the situations. Most front line employees have a better connection with the person that works with them daily as compared to their supervisor. This creates a support system and also reduces the chance of small issues turning into big issues. 4. Identify Your Employee Strengths We all have our weaknesses just like we have our strengths. Too many times managers will focus on their employees’ weaknesses and overlook their strengths. This is a big problem that managers do not address. Identifying the strengths of employees provides you sense of what each employee role should be. The science of Organizational Performance looks at the entire organization including the employees. When you have people working in an area where their strengths will not be used this hurts their overall performance. Managers must be engaged with their employees to create a winning team. 5. Create Your Own Management Style What works for someone else will not always work for you. Often managers try to emulate the practices and styles of other managers. The truth is that every manager has their own style. The best thing to do is to try different methods to improve your team such as weekly meetings, one on ones, or even daily motivations. Bottom line, just do what best fits you and your team. This process will take some time to develop but do not be discouraged. Your employees will appreciate your efforts and will respect your individuality. Tim Lampkin is an entrepreneur based out of Mississippi. He is the CEO of Southern City Greeks. His background covers the areas of Management, Sales, Organizational Performance, and Marketing. Lampkin also provides services such as Booking, Tour Production, and Public Relations for several people in the entertainment industry. He is currently pursuing his MBA from Delta State University. --- work play --- Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? I also believe that all comments are about the commentator as well as about the subject at hand. Aristotle said, " You must be able to angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way. "?? This is what we call today emotional intelligence. ?EQ refers to a combination of skills such as empathy, self-control, self-awareness, sensitivity to feelings of others, persistence and self-motivation. A negative feedback most of the time starts with the judgment “you are wrong” or “I disagree with you. The person with meager empathy, self-control, self-awareness and sensitivity to the feelings of others has a questionable EQ to start with. It is still all right to weigh the content of the comment since if nothing else it may increase our reasoning skill even if not for the benefit of the commentator. It is also possible that EQ deficient people can be beneficial to others if obviously not to themselves. If they have high IQ others may benefit from their analytical competence. In this case the ability to interact with empathy to people of deficient empathy by exercising empathy, self-control, self-awareness, persistence and self-motivation can overcome the conflict and make use of the circumstance. So it is possible that instead of resigning to conflict the outcome can turn toward understanding. Ultimately there is no general rule but rather a demand for correct assessment. Even the ancients knew this: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” ~ Proverbs 15:1. Best, Marika --- 11.27 05:55 up first day with fridge,and stuff, and multi-outlet strip (and I found a plug by my bedhead, so rechargable flashlight and razor are now there) (next to my speaker-box night stand) === 06:27 Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? I think that sort of change has to begin within. I used to agonize over other people's opinions, literally not being able to sleep if someone didn't like me or said something negative, or I interpreted as negative. I was raised in an abusive household so I was already hardwired to accepting abuse and subconsciously believing it was my fault. I carried that mindset into my adult life and it eventually tried to kill me: I attempted suicide before I was thirty. I'd always dreamed of someone swooping in and rescuing me; a soul mate who'd love me unconditionally, stand up for me, believe in my worth. Nobody came and even if they had, I'd probably have rejected them because of my own self hate. I needed to hear words of love and praise, so finally decided to become my own soul mate. Every day, even now, I say, "I love you, Rebecca." Every night, I say, "good night beautiful mind, good night beautiful spirit, good night beautiful body." It took a long time to believe those words but I kept at it. I stopped insulting myself (much harder than you'd think - it's addictive), stopped valuing other people's opinions over my own, and began to truly think I was a good, talented person. It's a long slow process but a necessary one for emotional health. Maintenance is key, also. I think of it as having diabetes: if I don't take my daily dose of self-love, I'm in serious trouble. Diligence and repetition work wonders. Just have patience with yourself; it takes time to recognize how incredible you really are. A lot of it. Keep at it. Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? @ Marika, thanks for that. Research has also shown that when someone who is very religious or political is in a discussion about religion or politics, their responses (and processes in general) bypass the areas having to do with logical thought. I think there is a difference between unconscious emotion or unchecked empathy, and emotion/empathy that can be balanced and integrated with logic. I would say that because many let empathy drown out logic doesn't necessarily mean the two can't work together so it's not an either/or...just like intuition and logic. - Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? @ Le, I like your distinction between those you respect and those whose comments you can shrug off. I do think it's a worthwhile goal to increase our self-confidence and reduce our insecurity which makes it easier to maintain equanimity and not be so affected by what goes on or is said around us or to us. But a thick skin could become a wall of denial and an inability to let in feedback. As with much in life it's a fine line calling for powers of discernment. @ Susan, I like your comment: "I ask myself: "What experience am I trying to ignore and run away from?" When I identify it, I dive in." I think it's important to honestly mine for truth in what others say, and not avoid difficult or uncomfortable emotions. If we have buttons that keep getting pushed, we need to focus on why we have the button and not on ignoring or eliminating the button pushers...if we have a button (an unresolved emotion), I believe the universe can't help but send someone or something to push it. @ Dennis, I like your reminder to observe our thoughts (emotions, etc) and to as well practice some detachment from flattery. - Ray Mathis Now picture a second visual with three different sections. One with DON'T CARE, the middle with UNPLEASANT, INCONVENIENT, UNCOMFORTABLE (lots of things in life are), and a third with AWFUL There are a lot of things in life that are unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable to some degree (from a little to a lot, which matches the FID of emotion). The mistake we make is to tell ourselves something that is happening is AWFUL, as in the worse possible thing that could be happening to us at the moment. Thereby generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion needlessly, and being prone to reacting instead of responding, and perhaps even overreacting. Now do a third visual with three sections again. One with DON'T CARE, the middle with DON'T LIKE, and the third with CAN'T STAND IT. We have a right to not like something. That's one of our many rights as a human being. The mistake we make is to start to tell ourselves we CAN'T STAND something that is happening. By doing that we needlessly inflame ourselves. That's why Ellis called this type of irrational thinking CAN'T STAND IT-ITIS. The fourth visual has three sections once again. One with DON'T CARE, the middle with DISLIKE THE BEHAVIOR, and the third with LABEL AND DAMN THE PERSON. We have a right to dislike what someone else says or does. The mistake we make in our minds is to LABEL AND DAMN the person. It's blatant over generalization. Like calling an apple "BAD" simply because it's got a bruise, even though 95% of it is still fine. It's like calling someone stupid just for doing a stupid thing, or something WE didn't like. According to Ellis, this is how people overreact, first cognitively, then emotionally, and because of that, behaviorally. RESPONSE-ABILITY really is the ability to RESPOND to life events in the best possible way instead of reacting to them. By the top portion of our brain exaggerating or lying to the bottom portion, we generate more e-motion (energy to move) than is helpful or necessary, and become less response-ABLE. The key to being more response-ABLE, and less reactive, is to learn to keep emotions at a functional level. The key to doing that is to tone down any perceptions that tend to go wild. You can read how to do that at: http://www.itsjustanevent.com/Pagesix.html Sanjoli, you work with teachers, right? Here's some of my favorite quotes that have to do with overreacting. "A problem is a misbehavior that gets mismanaged" Happens all the time in schools. "Perfect execution cannot compensate for implementing the wrong solution" Schools follow rules to the letter, but often do the "wrong" things with kids. "The further into discipline we get, the more positive it should become" The opposite is usually true. That's why it often fails. "If you can't make something better, at least don't make it worse" And teachers do all the time by overreacting. Because they do what I talked about in their heads. "Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing" But that's hard to do when you're disturbing yourself needlessly. "The problems of man are caused by man. They can be solved by man" Every "problem" teachers think they have with a student can be traced back to what others said or did to them, and that can be traced back to how they made themselves feel about what the child said or did, which in turn can be traced back to how they chose to look at what the child did. Which brings me to my other favorite quote. "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" Albert Einstein. If teachers keep looking at kids the way others always have, feeling the same way others have because of that, and doing the same thing others always have with them, they'll keep getting what others have always gotten. - Is there any such thing as 'over reacting?' All around you, how do u see this in action? Does it serve us well ? Matt, got the perfect saying for what you're talking about. An overreaction is an age regression. By saying that to ourselves when we are overreaction, it would encourage us to consider how this current situation might remind us of something that happened in the past, and help us identify some dysfunctional cognitive, emotional, and perhaps even behavioral "ruts" we might have. Then the rule is: "Once "RUTS" get created, we can't get rid of them. We can only make new ones" So we need to make a new connection in our brains to think, feel, say and do things differently. And then practice and rehearse until THAT becomes a "RUT" and can compete with our old ones. - Dennis. Your comment, "it's just as important to develop a thicker skin towards comments that are perceived as positive — flattery, for example — but which can be an attempt on the part of the flatterer to gain undue influence" appears to be proven by recent studies. A pivotal study led by the Case Western Reserve University researchers showed that when the brain fires up the network of neurons that allows us to empathize, it suppresses the network used for analysis. "The study provides the simple reason why even the most intelligent, complex brains can be taken by a swindler's story – one that upon a second look offers clues it was false." You write that the greatest difficulty is "to know one's self, both thoughts and feelings, in such a way that one's emotional responses to others are both authentic and proportional." Studies show that the ability to acquire knowledge does not necessarily mean that we can recognize and manage our own emotional states. Dr Karen Horney in her book, "Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization" deals with the same issue. Under favor­able conditions, she believes that person's energies go toward realizing his own potentialities. She also describes that under inner stress, a person becomes alienated from his real self and throws his/her energies into creating and building up a false, idealized self, based on pride but harassed by doubts, self-contempt, and self-hate. She also describes the neurotic's solutions for relieving the tensions of conflict in such emotional attitudes as domination, self-effacement, dependency or resignation. Psychoanalysis helps to develop coping skills and coping techniques. You state, "It's important to own the feelings one feels and to learn to accept them." To find the way for self realization is the most difficult task yet it is the ultimate goal. Best, Marika. - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Is there any such thing as 'over reacting?' All around you, how do u see this in action? Does it serve us well ? Sanjoli, If you see e-motion as energy to move, to get us to do something to make our plight better, or even protect us from threats (as in fight or flight), which is the ultimate purpose of it, then yes it is possible for people to overreact, and it often makes things worse instead of better. I was taught, "There's two ways to make something you don't like worse, do nothing and overreact to it". Teachers and parents for example, more often than not do the latter. That's why they make a lot of mistakes with kids. I can't use diagrams in this format, otherwise it would be easier to explain. I often use a half circle divided into 3 equal pie sections, with a needle that could move through the 180 degrees of the half circle. Like a needle on some electronic instrument that let's you know how much power, or sound is being produced. I also sometimes use the visual of an old fashioned thermostat, where you push a needle up to raise the temperature. Then imagine one section having CALM in it, the middle section having FRUSTRATION, IRRITATION, ANNOYANCE, and the top section having ANGER. These are qualitatively different emotions because they have different cognitive origins. For example, frustration, irritation and annoyance come from WANTING something and not getting it. ANGER comes from thinking you NEED something, HAVE TO or MUST have it, and then not getting it. Whenever you look at emotions, you always want to look at the FREQUENCY, INTENSITY and DURATION of that emotion. So you can have qualitatively different emotions, and varying quantities of them. From a low FID to a high FID. I always talk about a dysfunctional amount of emotion. I define it as: 1) More than is necessary or helpful for the situation 2) More than we want to have 3) More than is healthy for us to have 4) More than we know what to do with 5) A type and FID that works against us instead of for us (instead of being helpful energy to move) Problems often arise because PERCEPTION is involved in the process of determining which emotion we have, and the FID of it. The way I always explain it, and I hope I'm right (been a long time since the physiological psych class in college) is that the top portion of our brain is connected to the outside world by way of our senses, eyes, ears, nose, etc. It's job is to assess potential threats to us. That's it's primary function really. It gauges those by using words. In some complex way it sends information to lower portions of our brain that control emotion, and body functions (heart rate, adrenal glands, etc) The problem is the bottom portion is "blind, deaf and dumb" to what's happening in the outside world. It takes the word of the top portion of our brain. And the problem is, the top portion has the capacity, and innate tendency to exaggerate or even outright lie to the bottom portion. This is where Albert Ellis paradigm comes in nicely. We have a right to WANT, prefer and desire whatever we want to. The mistake we make is to start to think we NEED something we simply want, like we need air, water and food, to start to treat our simple preferences as NECESSITIES (called necessitizing), and to start to DEMAND what we simply desire. This sets up a greater difference between expectation and reality (at least as we perceive it), and can cause us to generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion needlessly. Imagine those half circle visuals, or the thermostat visual for these cognitions as well, with three sections, one with DON'T CARE, the middle one with WANT, PREFER and DESIRE, and the third with NEED, NECESSITY and DEMAND. Where you end up cognitively determines where you end up emotionally. And within these sections, you could really not care, or just sort of not care. You could sort of want something, or really want it, and you could sort of think you need something, or really think you need it. This corresponds with the FID of the emotion, from low to high. Posted by Ray Mathis - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? The comment, "it's just as important to develop a thicker skin towards comments that are perceived as positive — flattery, for example — but which can be an attempt on the part of the flatterer to gain undue influence" appears to be proven by recent studies. A pivotal study led by the Case Western Reserve University researchers showed that when the brain fires up the network of neurons that allows us to empathize, it suppresses the network used for analysis. "The study provides the simple reason why even the most intelligent, complex brains can be taken by a swindler's story – one that upon a second look offers clues it was false." The greatest difficulty you write is "to know one's self, both thoughts and feelings, in such a way that one's emotional responses to others are both authentic and proportional." The ability to acquire knowledge does not necessarily mean that we can recognize and manage our own emotional states. Dr Karen Horney in her book, "Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization" deals with the same issue. Under favor­able conditions, she believes that person's energies go toward realizing his own potentialities. She also describes that under inner stress, a person becomes alienated from his real self and throws his/her energies into creating and building up a false, idealized self, based on pride but harassed by doubts, self-contempt, and self-hate. She also describes the neurotic's solutions for relieving the tensions of conflict in such emotional attitudes as domination, self-effacement, dependency or resignation. Psychoanalysis helps to develop coping skills and coping techniques. You state, "It's important to own the feelings one feels and to learn to accept them." To find the way for self realization is the ultimate goal for all of us. Best, Marika. Posted by Marika Herskovic, PhD - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? Quite a few interesting and helpful approaches to the subject of acquiring a "thicker skin." I'd add one or two thoughts: most of these approaches seem to have in common the development of the skill of objectifying one's own emotions; this involves allowing the intellect to observe the emotions as though it were a separate entity. The effort can be very useful because it allows the person to gain a bit of perspective, but in the end, out intellect and emotions aren't really separate from each other. Even in the midst of this objectification, it's important to own the feelings one feels and to learn to accept them. Secondly, I think it's just as important to develop a thicker skin towards comments that are perceived as positive — flattery, for example — but which can be an attempt on the part of the flatterer to gain undue influence. The important thing is to know one's self, both thoughts and feelings, in such a way that one's emotional responses to others are both authentic and proportional. Posted by Dennis Lundblad - Katherine Gordy Levine commented on Don't Make a Decision in Anger Because you can't see a clear reflection in boiling water "See we are all on the same page. My approach to anger is that is a wrong that needs to be corrected, but one needs to calm down, spend ... "more… "See we are all on the same page. My approach to anger is that is a wrong that needs to be corrected, but one needs to calm down, spend some time thinking about what matters as well as the wrong leading to your anger. Only when you know in your heart and head can you can act wisely and not destructively. This is the heart of what you all suggest, and the heart of my Emotional Fitness Training programs. Let me add one thought. 99.9% of the time the best action is against what the anger or any negative feelings urges. Anger urges beating the other guy up, so acting against would mean being kind, and caring to the person enraging you while you figure out what needs correcting. When you know what needs correcting you can act to keep anger in its place so you don't get burned. Stay strong all, it is a struggle sometimes, but worth it. --- AMM, keep at it. nope, didn't pass PS 461 N. Franklin St. --- , orders from MA on (I think) 8am Monday, 11.26 Ken, 2C, 3' Mickey Lin 4236 Boxwood Lane Williamsburg, VA 23188 2B, 6' tree, cut in half(!) --- , Brother CS-6000i, $153, now $149 Singer 6160, $118, now $99 Free shipping to Paula's work DU >> get both nice ones?? Yep! price went down over night(!) and Singer was outta stock, anywayz so... 07:10 Thank you! Your order has been placed. An email confirmation will be sent to you. We'll process the order as soon as your payment method is approved.Order Number: 2677299-422062 Ship Paula Perelstein, 461 N. Franklin St. Fort Bragg, CA 95437 Ships Standard. Arrives 11/29 - 12/5 QtyPrice. Brother 60-Stitch Computerized Sewing Machine, CS-6000i http://www.walmart.com/ip/Brother-Computerized-Sewing-Machine-CS6000I/4764726 Add to Reminder List NEW! Order Summary $299.94 Subtotal ( 2 items ).FreeShipping.$25.12Tax Taxes includes all state and local sales taxes for merchandise, gift wrap and shipping (where applicable). .$325.06Order Total.Payment Method VISA image Ending in 5061 Expires 10/14 ..Matt Perelstein 32501 McDonnell Lane , Fort Bragg, CA 95437 (707) 962-9006 --- >> bring chair in garage >> rug for bathroom >> drain plug for sink in bathroom --- 07:49 Hi Mickey, Yikes. Sounds like someone is stealing your boxes and destroying them. How about if we send it to your work, or a neighbor who's home during the day? I've tried sending live trees, but they do NOT transplant well (except for some 20-30-footers I did, which might prove difficult to VA!). Wanna try some seeds again? That's the best I know to do. Thanks. - Matt --- see http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials/!!!!!!(!) Sliloh! excellent! --- LBL Thursday, 07:30 --- Gail, I spoke to Davina this morning, and the reality is that there are two distinct problems. 1. The November emails were created with October Activities data - my fault/my problem. 2. On Davina's pc (only), Outlook will not allow multiple emails to be created (one-at-a-time works fine) -- not my fault. I should be able to fix problem #1 today, remotely. if Bill could take a look at her Outlook setup, and possibly re-install it, perhaps we can get it all fixed before Thursday. I'll let you know when my end is working. - Matt --- EQ at IMS "emotional Intelligence" Harvard Business Review (HBR) HBR Must Reads What Makes a Leader, by Daniel Goleman (15 pg PDF) http://arc.imshealth.com/gm/document-1.9.2327228/HBR%2010%20Must%20Reads.pdf Included with this collection: Meeting the Challenge of Disruptive Change by Clayton M. Christensen and Michael Overdorf Competing on Analytics by Thomas H. Davenport Managing Oneself by Peter F. Drucker What Makes a Leader? by Daniel Goleman Putting the Balanced Scorecard to Work by Robert S. Kaplan and David P. Norton Innovation: The Classic Traps by Rosabeth Moss Kanter Leading Change: Why Transformation Efforts Fail by John P. Kotter Marketing Myopia by Theodore Levitt What Is Strategy? by Michael E. Porter The Core Competence of the Corporation by C.K. Prahalad and Gary Hamel --- Davina, Hi. I'm checking my code for the multi-emails, and it says November, not October, so I'm not sure what happened. Would you please forward to me one of the emails you received, complaining about October data in November? (or just copy and paste the activity numbers for me). Thanks. - Matt --- AN HONEST ENLIGHTENED SOCIETY Enlightened society is not an idealized environment. It’s an environment that actually accepts the imperfections of humanity and encourages you to open your heart and mind and work with other people and situations as they are. Enlightened society is one in which, as you make friends with yourself, your communication with other people gets clearer, more direct, more honest -Pema Chodron, “No Place to Hide” --- 5-7 MFF BOD Melissa, new project lead gym at 350 seats? $2-3K let's do it. gym and Crown, no Matheson Jan. retreat, on a Saturday, 10-5 Feb. event, Valentine's day PR 7:20 ferry beautifully warm out, stood out back and SANG, and danced. so nice(!) PKP sick Gloria "The Glorious One" I'm not a victim, I'm Gloria. 4 pages of notes in love moving to Vegas new 9mm, and AK-15 Assault with 4 clips and 1000 rounds brainstorm ND brochure Marin B. 1 cerveza 10:35 here, egg/spinach bread pudding that Scotto and Shannon made --- In everyone there is something precious, found in no-one else; so honor each man for what is hidden within him - for what he alone has, and none of his fellows. - Hasidic saying - LI-EIN 18/20 Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? Sir Walter Scott; His last injunction to his son-in-law was " Lockhart , i may have but a minute to speak to you. My dear, be virtuous, be religious, be a good man. Nothing else will give you any comfort when you come to lie down here. Posted by VENKATESH KANGOVI NARASIMHAMURTHY - Esther F. commented on Don't Make a Decision in Anger Because you can't see a clear reflection in boiling water "Anger sits right between False Pride and Greed on Hawkins' Map of Consciousness. When we move away from anger, we often have to ... "more… "Anger sits right between False Pride and Greed on Hawkins' Map of Consciousness. When we move away from anger, we often have to otherwise deal with addictive behaviours or perfectionism. In order to truly move into a more positive energy level, we need to apply courage. Courage is the key to lift our energy into trust and perhaps even hope. To see a good diagram of this, go to Youtap.ca on the Emotions in Motion pages. Unless we apply courage, we can hang out in anger for a lifetime. " --- D-R In the last 3 years, we lost more military veterans to suicide than died in combat. --- One-minute testimonial with Kathy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrsHnkOTmzs I'm not going to waste my time and energy blaming others. I choose to take care of myself and my family. Tom Pope It was a very rewarding program for me. It is very imporatnt to express your emo baggage, out of a painful past into a pleasant present moved beyond it, much happier person now. - Sue Roth platform to grow and move forward personal work I've done and therapy over the years tackle various childhood traumas that I have been thru and move forward with them go on with my life better myself in realtionships, the work everionment and everyday situations I'm very thankful for New Directions. --- Mike I'd prob. still be married today. --- Interview with Julie B. your relationship with you is different than your relationship with him/her/them 1. Why did you attend ND in the first place? a friend trusted I didn't want to do the same thing you I felt repeating the same behaviours over and over again 2. coping mechanisms 3. what was it like when you came to class the first time? cried the whole first day, which means it was time it's been a reeeally long time, I let it build up I got what she was saying, after awhile I cleared the stuff outta the way listening to people share their stories, and get what they were needed, I was going to too ok, I'm ready for my time. no high pressure at all. let down the walls, not tear down the walls makes it easier for you to reproduce this at home. that first week after class, I'm having almost daily realizations light bulbs, about relationships identify where they're coming from Oh, that's not accurate. when I was a little kid, I decided that I'm ugly. I'm not wanted. I don't fit in. I'm not loved. it's not therapy, it's faster, cheaper, and much deeper. we go right to the Heart of the problem. 'cause the broken heart usually IS the problem. We don't analyze, Helps you make sense to you. Do you make sense to you? No.?!? it's a releif, getting something off your chest, or your back. Pain takes up room, and energy, in our bodies. Identify get rid of it, set it off to the side recognize it ability to once you realize it, you have choices if you don't know, you have no choices, only habits self-esteem was 0, or possibly negative 1 how do we do this adult thing? how about the Parent thing? ND is a great place to get started. I wanted to change ND is really good at getting you over that hump identifying what it's really about, so you can Where did they come from? What makes you you? Do you like those parts of you? Do you want to keep those parts of you? It's up to you. But, know that many of those parts of you are Feelings-based, not just logic-based. many of our idiosyncracies, personality traits, habits, addictions, functions and dysfunctions are emotion-based. they originated when you were younger, and were probably formed outta some emotional, memorable, life-transforming event(s) that happened to you. These are became your judgements, your values, your opinions, your memories and your experiences. These are what shaped you, what made you you, who you are today. Soooo, let's delve into your past, together. Let's see/feel/experience/learn from some of the hardships that happened to you as a kid. learn that you can 'go there' and back again. find your Courage, your strength, your Personal Power and your Joy of Living! it's in there. it just gets covered up by our pain, anger and sadness / life. our job, is to Uncover it. That's all. just Uncover it, and let it out... the rest is quite natural. once this 'space' has been vacated, our Higher Power and the universe (and other loving, do=gooders that you now hang around) can FILL YOU UP with Positives, with Love, and cool colors, and bright light. It's a simple theory... we are born with super-high EQ. When we're upset, we don't judge it, we express it. When our need has been met, we NATURALLY go back to being happy, and content, and cool, and go looking for cool stuff to experience, eat, touch, smell or learn, and for other people, to smile with, to touch, to be involved with, to enjoy. - 11:39 Right-right-brainers write like this... with feelings, color, sound, touchy-feely-kinda words. we don't like rules Either, so we often change 'em. other right-right brainers Splat Larry Cheryl Sydney Lori Bill (Val and Rebecca's friend) Bill S. etc. ND Interviews -- 11.28 00:00 00:14 brush teeth set alarm for 0500 off to bed --- 05:55 up, shower day and it's raining out 06:17 here "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." "Pain is just weakness leaving your body." - the book of "7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence" is a must to read. But it needs some basic background in NLP. The good about it is the use of diagrams and tables that simplify things like any technical book. Talking about the mind is so difficult but in this book you read something really solid and strong. This is my personal opinion. --- 06:37 Heck yeah! You're doing great with it. I can see it all in the 3 files, and I'll be able to clean up (or delete) stuff you (nor I) couldn't read. Excellent. I knew you'd do well! How long did this take? I don't have gobs of cash, and I want us to keep moving forward. I have a few notebooks I'd like you to do, and then we'll take the stuff that matters, categorize it, and get it posted. If you come across any D-R stuff, as well as any with ARROWs on the page, please put these in a separate file and send it to me at the end of a typing session. Sausalito is nearby, so I could go over there for dinner some evening. Did you want to arrange an introduction, so I can say Hi for you? Next week? yehaa. Thanks, dude. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: How is this so far? From: sean mc daniel Date: Tue, November 27, 2012 4:25 pm To: Matt Here is what I've gotten so far. Hope this is kinda what you were looking for. Having a hard time reading some of it but I'm figuring it out as I go on. Hope your having a good day. Oh yeah, are you staying in Sausalito? If so, you have to go to my buddies restaurant Saylors. We haven't been able to make it down there yet. He is the caterer for Sammy's band Chickenfoot. He does Mexican food. Its also a tequila bar. :) --- 06:48 LI-EIN 8/8 Tanya Steinbeck commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hi all! My name is Tanya Steinbeck and I am from Perth, Australia. I am a Certified Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach and Trainer ... "more… "Hi all! My name is Tanya Steinbeck and I am from Perth, Australia. I am a Certified Social & Emotional Intelligence Coach and Trainer with the Institute of Social & Emotional Intelligence in Denver. I was fortunate enough to be taught by the wonderful Laura Belsten and have been coaching and training for around 4 years now. I think there is an enormous opportunity to increase the level of awareness around S+EI and how it can make such a significant impact to individual and organisational performance. My goal for 2013 is to make it to Harvard for the upcoming Nexus Event!! " --- 07:11 LI-EIN Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? It's about RESILIENCE (as Ray, Jane and others have said). It's not what happens TO us, it's about how we RESPOND to what happens to us... that's where our power and control lies. D-R Dr. Martin Seligman, the director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and author of the book "Building Resilience" got a contract with the US Army to teach a 10-day EQ class to all 40,000 drill sargeants, who will then teach it to the 1.1M troops they train. His primary goal was to teach Resilience, as they have found that resilence is the #1 best way to help our troops. Rather than PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, they teach Post-Traumatic Growth... we can actually learn, and grow stronger thru the trials and tribulations of life! Interview with Harvard Business Review (HBR) re: Resilience http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html TED Talk: Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html Interview with Joshua Freedman of 6 Seconds re: Choosing Optimism http://www.6seconds.org/1999/11/10/choosing-optimism-an-interview-with-martin-ep-seligman-ph-d/ --- 07:45 shower done hi to Tom they're causiously back together are we back the way we were? No. we're not. if I 'actually' did something wrong, wow. --- 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence http://businessanalysisbooks.com/1899836500.html Patrick E. Merlevede MSc, Denis Bridoux, Rudy Vandamme March 2001, Crown House Publishing, Paperback, 400 pages, ISBN 1899836500 Summary Buy the book 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence reveals the structuring beneath Emotional Intelligence (EI), utilising its unique framework to combine EI and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) – the study of excellence that examines how behaviour is neurologically formulated. 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence confidently integrates the insights of EI and NLP to promote a greater understanding of how emotions work – and how they can be worked upon. This book is driven by one important message, ‘Don’t just think about it, do it!’ A model-based guide packed with powerful NLP exercises and self-assessment techniques, it allows you to design your own EQ improvement system, and to partake in an intensive EQ excellence course that utilises the self-programming practices of NLP. A thoroughly structured, functionally formatted guide to improving your EQ, 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence serves as a textbook of EI theory, a manual of NLP techniques, and a workbook that systematically leads you through the process of dynamic EQ improvement. It answers the essential EI questions: what do my emotions mean? how do I manage my emotions? how can I deal with conflicts in an emotionally intelligent way? what motivates people and how can I take that into account? how can I handle situations in the best possible way? how do I get what I want AND satisfy others? analysis bookstore top BA books: Table of Contents Buy the book Acknowledgements Foreword A walk through this book - How to use this manual Introduction What is Intelligence? The Presuppositions Used In this book Emotions 101: Understanding The Power Of Emotions Managing Your Emotional Budget Emotions, Health and Well-being Lesson 1: Managing your emotions Introduction: A Plea for Self-management The Intertwining of Emotions and Experience Association / Dissociation Cases Exercises for this lesson Lesson 2: Levels in Experience and Communication Introduction: The Levels Of Your Functioning Basic Model of the Neuro-logical Levels of Experience The Meaning of Emotions The Power of Emotional Beliefs Applying logical levels to enhance your Emotional Intelligence Appendix to Chapter 2: The Theory Behind The Model Exercises for this lesson Lesson 3: Planning for Success The TOTE model: the structure of flexible plans Conclusion: some tips for emotional development Application 1: Sharing goals with others Application 2: Expectations and the Structure of Happiness Exercises for this lesson Lesson 4: Learn how You Perceive the World Introduction Representation Systems: How do people construct their internal world? Submodalities: How You Format Your Own Reality EQ and the Application of the structure of subjective experience Conclusion: Realising the structure of your subjective experience Meta-Programs: The Filters In Your Thoughts Conclusion: Patterns In Your Emotions Exercises for this lesson Lesson 5: Emotional Intelligence In Company Perceptual Positions: Empathy For Yourself And For Others Projection: What Irritation Can Teach You About Yourself A model for a qualitative co-operation Look at your relationship from a different perspective Interacting Socially: How Do You Bring Emotion in Your Communication? Exercises concerning lesson 5 Lesson 6: Asking The Right Questions A counter-example: What NOT to do Introduction The Basic Model: Three traffic Rules for "Good Questions" The Meta-Model: Questions for dealing with Exercises for this lesson Lesson 7: Successfully Interact with Yourself and Others Introduction: Mastery in building and maintaining relationships The Art of Calibration: What You Can Learn From Body Language Achieve rapport with yourself Getting into rapport with someone's thoughts and experience Rapport with Others: how to achieve it ? How do you know you've got rapport? Levels of Rapport Applications Conclusion: Observation skills as key element for Emotional Intelligence Exercises for this lesson Conclusions: Making Connections, GainING in Emotional Wisdom New Emotional Abilities Making a full model of competence Some final exercises Recapitulation From Emotional Intelligence to Emotional Wisdom Conclusion: From Emotional Intelligence to Emotional Wisdom 14 day program: A "to do" list for the next fortnight Afterword Bibliography & Further Reading Overview of the Neuro-Linguistic literature Other references for this workbook The Internet Solutions to the exercises of this book Appendix 1: Neuro-Linguistic Programming Appendix 2: Meta-Programs in Recruiting and Management Appendix 3: Integral Perspectives Group - 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence [Paperback] http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Emotional-Intelligence-Patrick-Merlevede/dp/1899836500 Book Description Publication Date: March 1, 2001 Goleman taught us the importance of Emotional Intelligence. Since the publication of his EQ 'exposition', a whole array of Emotional Intelligence books has appeared, with each title purporting to put those theories of EQ into practice. This book goes deeper. Revealing the structure beneath Emotional Intelligence, 7 Steps utilises its unique framework to combine EQ and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) - the study of excellence that examines how behaviour is neurologically formulated. 7 Steps confidently integrates the insights of EQ and NLP to promote a greater understanding of how emotions work - and how they can be worked upon. This book is driven by one important message: 'don't just think about it, do it.' A model-based guide packed with powerful NLP exercises and self-assessment techniques, it allows you to generate your own trics, and to partake in an intensive EQ excellence course that utilises the self-programming practices of NLP. A thoroughly structured, functionally formatted guide to improving your EQ, 7 Steps serves as a textbook of EQ theory, a manual of NLP techniques, and a workbook that systematically leads you through the process of dynamic EQ improvement. It answers the essential EQ questions: - what do my emotions mean? - how do I manage my emotions? - how can I deal with conflicts in an emotionally intelligent way? - what motivates people and how can I take that into account? - how can I handle situations in the best possible way? - how do I get what I want? --- 09:33 here wet! first time it's rained DURING a commute. BUS, was wonderful, again! Entire back seat. wrote and sang and napped. --- Fazil Ice in Yosemite (from CJ) http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=9V9p4mFEYXc&vq=medium#t=15 Wow. Very cool! Massive movement… and then it stops, and turns and diverts… and then starts again. Excellent! >> try visiting in Feb, March, April (Spring) --- 12:06 Onboarding Survey I received training on harassment and respect, but nothing about the company, or the possibilities here. I don't know how our dept fits in with the company as a whole. I have a very specific, front-line data analyst job, but I have no idea where I can go from here. Technical, job-related training was almost non-existant (as everyone is so busy), so I had/have to figure out most things myself. The onboarding program had nothing to do with becoming part of the team. Team-building is NOT happening, and some emotional intelligence/teamwork/ leadership training would be most helpful. The team is fragmented (in 3 countries), so it's even more important. The people, including my bosses, are great, and super-smart, but the work itself is tedious and unrewarding. --- LBL fixed effort emails to This month (not hard coded to October!) removed Form_Open event that asked/reset all ReadyToSends to False There 0730 tomorrow 717 Potter Street, near Ashby & 7th Merge onto I-580 E. 15.5 mi Exit at Ashby Ave/CA-13 via EXIT 10. Turn left onto 7th St. Artisan Burlwood Furniture is on the corner If you reach 9th St you've gone about 0.1 miles too far Take the 1st left onto Potter St. Wells Fargo Bank is on the corner If you reach Anthony St you've gone a little too far 717 POTTER ST is on the right. Your destination is just past 5th St --- CJ Excellent! Ever been to NZ? They’re not addicted to law-suits like we are, so they can do all kinda things we can’t do! I’ve been there, and dove in an aquarium with sharks, rays and eels, swam with dolphins, and did this amazing Sky Fox zip line that was incredible! I friend I was with broke his ankle on the Sky Fox, and they were like, “sorry mate, jump in the back of the pickup and we’ll give you a lift to the doc." From: Butcher, CJ (EX1 - San Francisco) Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 4:11 PM To: Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) Subject: RE: Pretty cool For after the slush melts: http://www.shotoverjet.com/the-video --- 6:44 out to 7:20 ferry PKP is still really sick. Wendy's a single is $3.98, yikes! cool ketchup packets, tho. Got 3 extra for PR and kiddos got gas, $3.69 SR use Bobby's microbomber for first time. works really well --- 9:24 Posted ND-Fresno_20130201 in FB-ND Group events ND is about YOU! Your heart, your mind, your soul. Your feelings, your thoughts and you behaviours. Do you know you? Do you know how you became the you that you are today? Are you in pain much of the time? Do you know how to "deal with" your pain, anger and sadness? Do you like you? Do you love you? In an amazingly safe environment, we can teach/tell/show you how to truly Take Control of your feelings and emotions... and your life! It's not complicated. No tricks. No fancy processes. Just a ton of love, and acceptance, and guidance, and fellowship, as we all strive to heal our past together, live as fully and happily as we can in the present, and create the best future we can, for ourselves and those we love. Join us for this life-changing workshop. Give yourself this gift of emotional freedom and relief. If, at the end of the workshop, you decide it's not for you, you're welcome to have your pain back... and your tuition, too... we're that sure that you'll feel better after, often permanently. We've been 'doing' NDs for over 25 years now, and we have very few unhappy customers... hardly any, in fact. Here are a bunch of graduate success stories. http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials/ (written, audio, video, TV shows and radio spots) - 9:33 Post: https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewDirectionsWorkshop/permalink/433620630038974/?notif_t=like Hey, check out the new and improved ND Success Stories page: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials/. Look for you... you might be quoted there (if you wanna be, let me know). And this page might be the best one to send to friends and family to introduce them to ND. --- 9:40 ANNOUNCING: New Directions Workshop -- Fresno. Feb. 1 - 3, 2013. Come experience the safest, most loving environment on the planet, where together we face, and get rid of, a bunch of our unresolved pain, anger and sadness from childhood. You deserve this... please give yourself the gift of emotional freedom, healing and relief. https://www.facebook.com/events/560756620607724/ image: TshirtLogo.gif --- LI-EIN 22/25 Jason M. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. " Hi, I am Jason. I became interested in EQ as I believe it plays a very vital role in our everyday lives. We can only become better for it and from it. Thanks " --- Warren Buffet, Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway said it best:, “In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don’t have the first one, the other two will kill you.” --- http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Emotional-Intelligence Many types of intelligence exist, but emotional intelligence is always a rare gem to find in others. People with this gift find dealing with others easy, and it can be obtained by all. --- About https://www.facebook.com/ZigZiglar/info Zig Ziglar, the undisputed King of Motivation, Inspiration and Education, along with the Ziglar team is leading the way for you to succeed Globally. http://www.ziglar.com/ Biography “The Master of Motivation” Zig Ziglar has been described as “One of America’s Icons,” “the salesman’s salesman” and “A legacy that will forever impact our history.” Helping people to achieve long-term balanced success based on his philosophy of character, attitude and skills, he has impacted more than a quarter billion people and continues to make a difference in the lives of those who act on his philosophy. As a best-selling author, Zig Ziglar has written more than 30 sales and motivational books, 10 of which have appeared on best-seller lists and have been translated into more than 36 different languages and dialects worldwide. He’s been featured in numerous publications including the New York Times, the Washington Post, Fortune Magazine, the Dallas Morning News, Success Magazine, and Esquire Magazine. Ziglar motivational books and programs are widely distributed through multiple channels including the Ziglar website, Amazon.com, and the world’s largest producer of audio programs, Nightingale-Conant. In the media Ziglar has appeared on such venues as the Today Show, 20/20, the Phil Donahue Show and 60 minutes. As a speaker, Zig has repeatedly appeared with six former U.S. presidents; world leaders and news makers like Rudy Giuliani, Generals Colin Powell and Norman Schwarzkopf, and Lady Margaret Thatcher; business leaders, famous speakers and authors such as Seth Godin, Debi Fields, Tom Hopkins, Brian Tracy, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, and Denis Waitley; and countless sports and Hollywood celebrities such as Paul Harvey and Joe Montana. Recognized for his work, Ziglar has been documented three times in the Congressional Record of the United States for his work with youth in the drug war, and for his dedication to America and the free enterprise system. The Ziglar Brand is known and respected globally and and one of the most recognized names in the world. His son Tom Ziglar and Daughter Julie Ziglar continue to share the Ziglar pure and simple philosophy to an entire new generation of achievers. --- ND Testimonial New Directions is a place where people come to open up what they want, no one is pressing questions you dont want to answer at you. You can open up to anyone and no one will judge, its a place that is safe to talk and relax and also work out built up anger and emotions. Its a place where everyone is vulnerable, and vulnerable isnt a bad thing. - aubree, age 14, via FB IM - on Aubree's profile At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. - Plato Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. - Khalil Gibran Beauty has a lot to do with character. - Kevyn Aucoin Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou Music is my religion. - Jimi Hendrix Music in the soul can be heard by the universe. - Lao Tzu --- 11.29 05:43 "Nothing can dim the light which shines from within." - Maya Angelou “You think it will never happen to you, that it cannot happen to you, that you are the only person in the world to whom none of these things will ever happen, and then, one by one, they all begin to happen to you, in the same way they happen to everyone else.” - Opening lines from 'Winter Journal', by Paul Auster. It's nice to be important but it is important to be nice. - Posted by Diane Hope A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? @Jane. Skating as you said gives "expressive liberation.” You are precisely right. Many years ago I read the psychological importance of skating. I was happy to realize that it was my natural choice at early age. It is also interesting that late in life I got married and my husband and I we both enjoy skating. I find that thick skin is a wonderful choice of words. Thick skin protects against vulnerability. Psychological understanding of an individual has to come from the individual alone. We can help a person to ask self-directed questions and we can stay by their side and we can hold their hands but we as outsiders can never have the answer. It is fortunate that we can seek help when we feel impaired in everyday functioning but as individuals we have to learn to benefit from our neurosis through the process of inner perspective and sublimating. There is a book by Freud, "Leonardo da Vinci" which gives a brilliant example to the importance of sublimation. I enjoy to set short-term goals. I like to accomplish but I truly enjoy the process. I love to be dedicated and I am thankful. This is a journey and we are fortunate that we are all in it together. Thank you for your friendship. Very best regards, Marika James W. commented on Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? " Hi, just in-case this helps, if someone says something that hurts you, you feel 'Pain' or hurt 'within you', the person has pushed a button so to speak or an old emotional wound/pain. With Self-awareness simply observe and 'Accept' the hurt and pain that you feel within, when you Accept this part of you, you will with 'Compassion' for yourself just like you would have for a child be able to Love this pain/wound within and heal it. As in truth at your Soul level you cannot be hurt and you don't need a thick skin, you don't need to create barriers to protect you, you simply need to heal past pain, let them go and allow pain/barriers to dissolve so that your invulnerable truth emerges from within and you simply won't feel hurt by others, you will feel Empowered invulnerable and just laugh it off or simply be at Peace with whatever anyone is saying. It is a process of Healing and Emergence. I hope this helps, it is only my perspective of course. Love, James x W." - Sheereen Rawat commented on Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? " Developing hardiness and resilience are an important part of the equation. (Tugade defines resilience as “the psychological quality of resettling oneself after significant setbacks, and of returning from adversity relatively unscathed, and perhaps even stronger”.) Hardiness and resilience develop as a consequence of: - HUMOUR - Making healthy commitments to oneself, to family, work, and personal values - Focus on what can be controlled rather than on what can’t be controlled - Planning - Self-empowerment - Seeking and responding to constructive challenges - Coherence / a sense of knowingness and reasonable positive expectation - A broader perspective - Improved problem-solving - Decisive action - A growth-oriented and positive mindset (Dweck's work on this is great) - Developing creative perspectives - Relying on oneself and one’s insight when confronted with a challenge - Breaking down problems into manageable portions - Re-orienteering to positive and constructive thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviors - Building social support including social networks - Cultivating a fighting spirit" - My STAPLE go to tool when I feel even a pinch of discomfort from a perceived external force is THE WORK by Byron Katie. Her simple (4) questions and the turnaround are easy and immediately effective. The Work of Byron Katie 1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If “no,” move to 3.) 2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.) 3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? Turn the thought around. Find specific, genuine examples for the turnaround. Can you find other turnarounds? Give specific, genuine examples for each turnaround For FREE resources go to http://www.thework.com/dothework.php . I'm not trainer of Byron Katie just a student of THE WORK and a true believer in its effectiveness! Posted by Julie Zolfo | The Flux-Mindset & Fulfillment Authority --- 06:34 listening to my interviews on Toginet not bad, hoser off to Berkeley (LBL) --- LBL Gail got card validated so I have access to 717 Potter hers worked fine, generating emails, then crashed after about 100x new keyboard Davina, ALSO worked fine --- We must learn to put time between our feeling, thoughts, and actions. Just because we feel something or think something does not mean we should act on that feeling or thought. In the words of the Bible, this would be called, acting in the 'flesh'. The Bible teaches us to act in the 'spirit' which as I see it, is in a Christ-like manner (as moved by the Holy Spirit) or, as our 'best' self would act. All it takes is discipline, practice, and a reason (a goal, perhaps a noble goal) to do so... When we show empathy and compassion, the divide among us completely dissolves and a new world is created. It is our hearts, not our minds, that will heal this world. - Michael Eisen LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” - Albert Einstein “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Teresa “Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace.” - Albert Schweitzer --- Do you do Facebook? If so, watch this video of Bruce Lee playing ping pong... with nun chuks(!) https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151111632195718 wow!! (that's how you play tennis, right?!?) - matt --- good stuff at work, doing special projects for Jim 7pm out, to Costco, and home! --- "There is no large and difficult task that can't be divided into little easy tasks." - Buddhist saying --- let me manage the troops how often are the measures validated to do it properly is difficult, and complicated and not at all intuitive BCS, write out how to do it first --- once we can access our feelings, it gives a whole new 'wisdom' about ourselves, about life, about other people. about why we're here, what it takes/means to be 'happy', how to motivate ourselves, and how to like/love ourselves. I suggest 'going there'... often. it's free. the view is amazing. the feeling is all-encompassing. the 'real'ness of it all, feels so good, so solid, so right. I am who I am. as Gloria put it... I am not a survivor of abuse and abandonment and a psychotic father bent on killing me/us. I not all that. I am Gloria. --- Glori Celis ND Testimonial I just got through dealing with my sister and I was so proud of myself for holding my tongue and not lashing out at her in anger. She wronged me but as far as she's concerned I'm the one that did something wrong. I'm so glad I have the ability to know I can control my anger even when it feels volcanic. Glori you are AWESOME! Yea Glori! Unlike · · Follow Post · 8 hours ago near Lemoore, CA Seen by 14 You, Megan LeAnne McIntyre, Kelly Sallinen, Michele Soplata and 2 others like this. Troy Celis Youre AWESOME!!!!!! 8 hours ago · Like · 1 Megan LeAnne McIntyre You ARE awesome Glori. Good job. Hugs! 8 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1 Michele Soplata Yeah !!!! 5 hours ago via mobile · Like Matt Perelstein Yea Glori. Proud of you, and happy for you! Step 7: REJOICE for all the work you've done. --- 05:29 Poor Paula has pneumonia. :( I just got home, but it was hard being away knowing she was just lying there, sick and alone (exc. doggies) for 4 days and nights. I'll take care of her now, but I know she'd appreciate your well-wishes... --- 10:08 once we can access our feelings, it gives a whole new 'wisdom' about ourselves, about life, about other people. about why we're here, what it takes/means to be 'happy', how to motivate ourselves, and how to like/love ourselves. --- 10:53 Hi Teri... I'm so sorry that you got yucky branches... not good, and it won't happen again. I'm shipping orders again on Monday, so I'll make sure to send you a replacement for your last batch. If there are any further problems, please let me know right away and I'll take care of it, ok? Sorry again. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: my subscribsion From: "Teri .C" Date: Thu, November 29, 2012 9:10 pm To: "eucs@2gethelp.com" hello, i get your deliveries every month. last month when i got the different package i figured it was a tempory change, the plants were dried out and the furr kids didnt even play with the big branches when i put them in, i guess since they had no smell. then i got it again this week the same way. the branches are too big to put in the fridge and they are dried out by the time they get here so they dont have much of a scent. the plstic bags seemed to keep the moister in, so if thats the way they are being delivered now i would like to cancel the service. thanks. Teri (theresa Chambers) westminster md. --- 11:20-1 Marshall here brainstorming EQ videos lunch and such --- 3:33 He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist. - Saint Francis of Assisi --- Bruce https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151111632195718 --- 4:11 GC & FB-EP It's been stormin' here on the coast, so the MOST BEAUTIFUL Euc leaves have blown down from the tops of the tallest trees (that I cannot usually reach)! Get some this weekend! - Matt (with BananaLeaves1.jpg) --- 4:12 Can do! In fact, I'll do these this weekend. I'll be in touch. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Pending Actions with PAD From: Gail Mosley Date: Fri, November 30, 2012 10:27 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Davina S Abram , Helen Cademartori , Mary G Cruz Matt, It was really nice seeing you yesterday! I am confirming the PAD actions that we discussed: Remove the "Do Not Send" button. The budget analysts agreed that it is not needed. Remove functionality to set all the "Ready to Send" records to "no" at the beginning of the month. Default should be to leave all records with "Ready to Send" checked. Breaking up the sending of the monthly letters into smaller groups: Would arranging it by number (each record would have a number) be any better than arranging by letter? I leave it up to you. We didn't discuss this yesterday but we would like to have it done: Clean up PAD links and clarify which link we should be using. If any data needs to be transferred from a test database to the database that we will be using, please let me know what you plan to do. We would like to have this done by December 6 so we have a week to test things before the next letters go out on December 13. Does that sound like a workable deadline to you? Thanks. Gail --- >> figure out hours, ask for more! bill XRG do PAD and POD updates --- 4:50 to town with PKP and Bella to bank, Sarah B. and Bri are there. fun. took SB to work. get movies SW home pizza "Brave", Disney, good, not great. --- "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. " I can relate, but I can't connect. connection is about intimacy opening up, allowing in. and it's usually NOT about anger (esp. at the person(s) you're trying to connect to) unless the anger ends in tears. anger that ends in disconnection, running away, rebellion, protest... hard to connect with. it needs to be hard, and painful, and see that pain, and struggle Braveheart, #1 movie of all time he mobilized his anger, but it was based on pain, and it was visible, and palpable. and an innocense, pure-ness (like the doggies, wag) it's real. all anger is not real, because it's missing the critical components, fear and hurt/sad is sad dif. than hurt? yes. sad is pure loss, like a death, or a lost job hurt is sad + anger, and both must be dealt with --- 12.1 LI-EIN 20/20 “The thought manifests the word; The word manifests the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character; So watch the thought and its ways with care, And let them spring forth from love Born out of compassion for all beings. As the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become.” - Juan Mascaro ------------ mcp ---------- “If a person seems wicked, do not cast him away. Awaken him with your words, elevate him with your deeds, repay his injury with your kindness. Do not cast him away; cast away his wickedness.” - Lao Tzu ------------ mcp ---------- “The most treasured and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love. The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy. In the end, the development of such love is the true measure of success in life.” Joseph B Wirthlin --------- mcp ------- Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. - Gail Sheehy ------- mcp --------- "Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way." - Alan Watts --- chatting with Debbie O chiropractor going to sep. therapists, as marriage issues are just symptoms of the real issues 08:45 oh, just realized... if I see someone's profile pic, and they're wearing a tie, I'm immediately turned OFF by them, figuring they'll judge me, and we won't be able to connect. hmmm... that's some serious rebellion, dude! anti-tie, anti-control, anti-judgment, EQ rules! --- QR Code for ND brochure, et. al. (per Debbie) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QR_Code --- MSC shoaibch40@gmail.com Change "State" to "State / Country"! --- Euc leaves pic https://www.facebook.com/EucProducts --- 09:24 LI-EIN MSC http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Do-you-believe-we-should-75300.S.191668619 Do you believe we should be teaching EQ in public schools? If so, please sign our petition at http://www.Feel.org Emotional Literacy is the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our emotions and it is an essential ingredient for life success, vibrant health, happiness and peace. Your support will help bring one million signatures to Washington and the UN to ensure emotional literacy is a core part of every child's education. (your contact info will NOT be spammed or sold, ever). Support all children to develop these skills by signing the petition at the link below. The Emotional Literacy Million-Signature Campaign feel.org "We, the undersigned, believe that emotional literacy is an essential life-skill that must be a core part of every child's education. - 09:25 Hi Yassin, Ayman Sawaf , yassin shaar Josh Freedman I (finally) announced the MSC to the LI-EIN group! http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Do-you-believe-we-should-75300.S.191668619 Before posting, I confirmed that feel.org was still up and ready... it is... thanks. But it also occurred to me that MOST of the LI-EIN members are not in the US, so we need to ask for Country, not just State. We could either change the last field's label from "State" to "State / Country", or add a "Country" field at the bottom... your choice. Thanks much. Let us know if anyone signs/donates! - Matt --- we have $3K in joint checking and -13 in Directions checking --- SmartFM presents Smart Emotion Millions hear EQ at work info on their commute to work http://www.6seconds.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Smart-Emotion-29-November-2012.mp3 (downloaded to \stuff) Josh's interview EQ makes me a better leader, better father, better husband, better man. people want to make things better they need the skills people know they need to give people feedback how to do actually do it. transforms the workplace, which changes people's lives focus 1. Self-Awareness how you deal with emotion if we can tune in to our own emotion, it's data learn what it means makes people too soft too touchy-feely not comfortable if we believe people are JUST rational, that's irrational thinking people are not just purely rational, there are other dimensions to us the reality is that we are leading People confront the reality that people, including You, the leader, that people are not just rational. get smart in this whole other area feelings are real. whether they make us soft or tough is up to us but the starting point is Let's deal with facts... emotions are part of every single person, and they drive our thinking, they drive the way we behave. if you want to build performance, starting with ourselves, we need to deal with that reality is it dif. throughout the world? yes, research people are really the same at the basic level what we're afraid of, and what we want, is similar in all but the dif. cultures vary in how we show emotions, how we listen to each other Indonesia, people are very open and very warm, but they don't express what they're really feelings, so sometimes you don't know, "are we really communicating?" --- 09:52 Mom has Parkinsons(!) there are meds for the symptoms (dopemine), but not a cure she can still walk as fast as dad, lol! progressive, gets worse Exercise is the best and staying interested and alive voice prob is typical of patients back to Mayo in April now have a baseline no meds for Alzheimers, either some, but only for awhile Barrows Institute MohammedAli foundation and Michael J. Fox 2-day course, Parkinson's Disease 101 Exaggerate movements her right arm doesn't swing, she has to push it open and close index and thumb we can do it for 15 min. she can do it 3-4x, then it stops osteoparosis arthritis old age is not for wimps we're still waiting for the golden years if you you need to know you have a remarkable mother fight this, and enjoy lives cat will not be happy she has a vacation home somewhere 10:30am moved Tom's new covering used pry-bar and logs to pull 2' rebar stakes out put small logs under each side, Tom and I pushed it back about 15' and re-assembled back and sides. went well! Forum balance paid, $375 to house called Computer Solutions to see about repeater, "access point" so Paula can get internet from my office. Aaron, owner, coming out to take a look. 1:30 with PKP, watched MLS championship, LA Galaxy 3, Houston Dynamos 1 David Beckham's and Landon Donovan's last game for MLS nap, shower, lunch 4:35 LI-EIN (43,138x) Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? Chantal, You said, “I would be very interested on learning how to deal with my anger in observing manipulation and lying. My pet peeves ( double dishonesty)”. There’s a saying that “An overreaction is an age regression”. It simply means that we often get upset about something in the present, and perhaps more than we need to or than is helpful, because at some level, even unconsciously, it reminds us of something that’s happened in the past, and possibly repeatedly. You also said, “I have thought about why I get so upset when I perceive someone doing this repeatedly.I would think it would make anyone mad, especially when it hits home ( family members or friends for example).” Getting angry is understandable, part of being human. Lots of folks do so, even after having a lot of training in how not to. It’s certainly nothing to beat up on ourselves for, even if others might think so. The simple question is always, “How’s it working for you to get angry?” And that typically depends on the frequency, intensity and duration of it. You went on to say, “It takes observing ones behavior repeatedly to figure it out.... My sister in law practices this on my brother and it has changed him to the point where I don't recognize my little brother anymore.” This would seem to be another example of “an overreaction is an age regression” Having been your brother’s older sister for quite some time, you’ve probably got some well “rutted” thoughts, feelings and behavior for being protective. You finished by saying, “How would I master my re-activity ( acquire a think skin or resilience), to not get so angry (at anyone) when I observe this behavior? This has been a true hardship for me and my Mom ( though she gets sad- not angry).” Well here’s your answer. Dr. Paul Hauck says we always have four basic options when we don’t like something. 1) Problem solve and assert ourselves 2) Tolerate WITH disturbance 3) Tolerate WITHOUT disturbance 4) Leave Which you want to do with your brothers situation is up to you. There are “tools” you can use to help you do which ever one you might want to. One important tool in any situation is to recognize that “No one upsets you, you upset yourself”. Anger, and any other feeling, comes from inside us, not outside us. You sister-in-law doesn’t make you angry by what she does. You do by how you choose to look at what she does, what meaning you attach to it, among other things. It’s also a function of what you expect in the first place, in this case how you expect someone to treat your brother. And the bigger the difference between those expectations and reality, or at least your perception of it, the more anger you’ll generate. Thoughts cause feelings not events. Whatever she does is technically just an event to you. That’s a scientific fact, even if it doesn’t feel good to hear. It’s also important to remind ourselves of what we do and don’t have control over. You don’t control what your brother or sister-in-law think, feel, say or do, about each other, or with each other. There are fairly effective ways to try to influence such things, such as using I Messages whenever you do try to assert yourself, but there’s no guarantee anything will work, or be received the way you intend it, and there’s always a risk of unintended consequences – i.e. your brother getting upset with you for interjecting yourself into his relationship, and siding with his wife, and ceasing communication with you and your mom. - Albert Ellis said that when we get angry, it’s because we are making DEMANDS of others that aren’t being met. We are also AWFULIZING, telling ourselves we CAN’T STAND something we simply don’t like, and often LABEL AND DAMNING the other person we’re angry at. You have every right to want your sister-in-law to treat your brother better, or the way you would like her to. And if she doesn’t, it will be frustrating, irritating and annoying. However, if in your mind or in your comments, you start to use words like “should”, “has to” and “needs to”, and start to mean she absolutely MUST treat him differently and better than you perceive her to do now, you create a much greater potential difference between your expectations and what she actually ends up doing, and set yourself up to get angry. And she won’t be doing that to you, you will be. That’s a hard fact of life, and often a tough pill to swallow. She’s not responsible for how you feel, you are. It’s not her problem if you’re angry, it’s yours. And it’s not her job to make you feel better, it’s yours. I suspect you probably do often use the verb SHOULD or SHOULDN’T when establishing or even expressing your expectations of her regarding how she treats your brother. I suspect your mom probably does as well. This is jokingly called SHOULDING on others, and it just makes YOU and your mom feel SHOULDY. There’s an old joke by a famous comedian: “I went to a doctor and said ‘Doc, it hurts when I do this’. He said, ‘So stop doing that’” One good exercise would be to write the phrases “She SHOULD….”, “She SHOULDN’T….”, “She needs to….”, “She has to…..”, and “She can’t…..” on a piece of paper, and complete these in as many ways as sound familiar to you as possible. Or, you could start logging your own, and even your mom’s comments that are formatted these ways. Then there are some simple questions to ask yourself, or your mom. “Why does she have to?” “She has to, or you just want her to?” “She has to, or you’d just like her to?” I suspect your tendency will be to answer these questions with “Because….”. But whatever you say after that will always be the wrong answer. The only right answers are: “She doesn’t have to” “She doesn’t have to, I just want her to” “She doesn’t have to, I’d just like her to” “She doesn’t have to do anything, least of all what I want or would like” The flip side questions are: “Why can’t she?” “She can’t, or you just don’t want her to?” “She can’t, or you just don’t like when she doesn?” Again, if your answers start with “Because….”, they’ll always be wrong. The only right answers are: “She can” “She can, I just don’t want her to” “She can, I just don’t like when she does” “She can do whatever she wants to” One of the implied demands when people get angry, or sad and depressed, is: “I have to like what happens” No we don’t. And we certainly don’t have to like something in order for it to happen. Plenty of evidence in all our lives that we don’t have to like what other people say or do for them to say or do it, and that we often won’t. If your mom is getting sad or even depressed, it’s probably because, as a mom, she’s understandably making the following demands of life: “This shouldn’t be happening to him” “He shouldn’t have to live like this/deal with this” “He should have a better life than this” “It’s not fair (and it should be)” Well, it is, he does, he has what he has (at least for now), and life ain’t always fair. Posted by Ray Mathis - Albert Ellis said that when we get angry, it’s because we are making DEMANDS of others that aren’t being met. We are also AWFULIZING, telling ourselves we CAN’T STAND something we simply don’t like, and often LABEL AND DAMNING the other person we’re angry at. You have every right to want your sister-in-law to treat your brother better, or the way you would like her to. And if she doesn’t, it will be frustrating, irritating and annoying. However, if in your mind or in your comments, you start to use words like “should”, “has to” and “needs to”, and start to mean she absolutely MUST treat him differently and better than you perceive her to do now, you create a much greater potential difference between your expectations and what she actually ends up doing, and set yourself up to get angry. And she won’t be doing that to you, you will be. That’s a hard fact of life, and often a tough pill to swallow. She’s not responsible for how you feel, you are. It’s not her problem if you’re angry, it’s yours. And it’s not her job to make you feel better, it’s yours. I suspect you probably do often use the verb SHOULD or SHOULDN’T when establishing or even expressing your expectations of her regarding how she treats your brother. I suspect your mom probably does as well. This is jokingly called SHOULDING on others, and it just makes YOU and your mom feel SHOULDY. There’s an old joke by a famous comedian: “I went to a doctor and said ‘Doc, it hurts when I do this’. He said, ‘So stop doing that’” One good exercise would be to write the phrases “She SHOULD….”, “She SHOULDN’T….”, “She needs to….”, “She has to…..”, and “She can’t…..” on a piece of paper, and complete these in as many ways as sound familiar to you as possible. Or, you could start logging your own, and even your mom’s comments that are formatted these ways. Then there are some simple questions to ask yourself, or your mom. “Why does she have to?” “She has to, or you just want her to?” “She has to, or you’d just like her to?” I suspect your tendency will be to answer these questions with “Because….”. But whatever you say after that will always be the wrong answer. The only right answers are: “She doesn’t have to” “She doesn’t have to, I just want her to” “She doesn’t have to, I’d just like her to” “She doesn’t have to do anything, least of all what I want or would like” The flip side questions are: “Why can’t she?” “She can’t, or you just don’t want her to?” “She can’t, or you just don’t like when she doesn?” Again, if your answers start with “Because….”, they’ll always be wrong. The only right answers are: “She can” “She can, I just don’t want her to” “She can, I just don’t like when she does” “She can do whatever she wants to” One of the implied demands when people get angry, or sad and depressed, is: “I have to like what happens” No we don’t. And we certainly don’t have to like something in order for it to happen. Plenty of evidence in all our lives that we don’t have to like what other people say or do for them to say or do it, and that we often won’t. If your mom is getting sad or even depressed, it’s probably because, as a mom, she’s understandably making the following demands of life: “This shouldn’t be happening to him” “He shouldn’t have to live like this/deal with this” “He should have a better life than this” “It’s not fair (and it should be)” Well, it is, he does, he has what he has (at least for now), and life ain’t always fair. Posted by Ray Mathis --- Eucs: posted (and pic) about beautiful leaves, from storm GC, FB-EP, and MA newsletter lots of orders --- David Galson Yo David, remember me from Office of the State Architect and Dan Hood and Macs and Panorama?!? Looks like you're happy and well. I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. - Matt Perelstein --- since I'm almost always in a RUSH, I don't stop and do things 'right'. I don't clean well, I don't set things up right I don't plan ahead. I just go, go, go... which is a Present-addiction hiding from the future, but knowing it's comin' way too quick. I figure that, if I do it super-duper Fast, I can be proud that I did it at all, and not have to pay attention to/care about/cleanup/take responsibility for the quality of my work/writing/sloppiness. --- whoops, I gotta do an Eblast --- Ctrl-Alt-S = Snagit hotkey!(!) --- , I gotta bring some leaves in to DRY! --- 5:34 Do you believe we should be teaching EQ in public schools? If so, please sign our petition at http://www.Feel.org. SIGNED! Great idea and I fully support this movement because with the growing use of technology in our homes and schools (both good and bad), I believe children are becoming more and more disconnected with real emotions and feelings that are vital to social and emotional intelligence. Before heading to grad school I worked in an elementary school (K-3 specifically) helping to implement and teach the teachers Second Step Curriculum in the classroom. The curriculum focused on empathy, impulse control, and anger management. The principal found that over the year we implemented the curriculum, discipline issues decreased by 24% from the previous years. So, I believe in the value of teaching EQ and Emotional Literacy in schools. Thanks for putting this out for us to see and sign! Should there be anything further I can do to help, please contact me. Cheer Posted by Lawrence Schwartz --- 6:04 Excellent, Skipper! I totally agree. I am appreciating my dad, and mom today, as they called this morning to let me know that mom has Parkinson's. Remedy? Stay Active... so, Go Mom, and Dad! (I feel so blessed that they're still here, still active, and still loving me and us). Thanks for the post... sorry for your loss. --- 6:17 No worries Jaer... in fact, since you've been such a good customer, keep it, and use it whenever you wish! I just didn't think it was published anymore. It's fine. note: it's raining all weekend, so the leaves will be wet when you get them. Please take 'em out of the bags, dry 'em off a bit and then you can re-bag them (or not), but don't seal the bags, ok? Enjoy -- I'll send you/them some beauties! - Matt --- Euc Testimonial All the rescues that come through here get addicted to Euc so it's best to send them home with some to help with the transition a little. Thanks for the instructions, will do! I'm looking forward to it! I swear I can see the gliders sticking their tongues out in anticipation for new eucalyptus too. =p --- 7pm-ish MFF eblast wording, Draft #1 It was a Fierce Green Weekend Over the November 9-11 weekend, enthusiastic audiences filled theaters up and down the coast to see the work of Mark Kitchell, Oscar-nominated filmmaker, as he presented the world premiere of his final cut of A Fierce Green Fire: The Battle for a Living Planet. Screenings and conversations with Mr. Kitchell began on Friday morning at Matheson Performing Arts Center, where the entire Mendocino High School student body learned of the environmental activism of their parents' and grandparents' time. Four more screenings and conversations with Mark were held over the weekend, two at Matheson in Mendocino, one at Coast Cinemas in Fort Bragg and one at Arena Theater in Point Arena. By Sunday evening, the coast was abuzz with the issues and inspirational stories portrayed in the film. As further testimony to the film's impact, Director Mark brought 50 DVDs for audience members to take home and sold every last one! Mark and his family had a great time here and this is what he had to say about his visit. We loved playing the Mendocino coast. It felt like the heartland, where everybody gets it and does it. I wish every place we go will be as friendly and supportive as Mendocino. Mark Kitchell The Fierce Green Fire screenings were made possible through the generous support of: --- dinner, pizza (same kind as last night) "Joyful Noise" - Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton (with plastic surgery) "Music and Lyrics"- Hugh Grant and rainy and windy, but 74 degrees in the house, without the heater on (set to 60) 11:24 Dear Matt, I always felt that EI should be made compulsory in all schools. Let's catch them young. I am involved in conducting free sessions for school students and had been helping them overcome a lot of interpersonal issues. I would like to implore concerned authorities to introduce 'SENSITIVITY' as a subject in all the schools. Posted by Reyaz Mohemmad --- 11:29 Hi Jane (Barrash), sorry for the mixup with your post to Chantal! I'm sure it was removed inadvertently. I'm not the only moderator, but I can assure you, nothing you've posted so far approaches something we'd 'censure'. Thanks for your involvement. Your writings are wise, profound, as well as positive and loving. Please keep posting! - Matt --- What did the buffalo say to his boy when he went away to college? Bi-son. --- 12.2 02:00 stormin', some rain, LOTS of wind! cellphone dead, but not charging, switching to wall outlet home phones are down internet is down - reboot modem and router, lights show no joy propane ran out of heater under-desk heater isn't working window leaks onto windowsill. move stuff so it dries yikes 02:35 >> update POD Bio.mdb (copy from server) update PAD.accdb (copy from server) do test of numbering for Karen remove DoNotSend for Gail break up emails/letters sent by name (approx. 100x) for Davina >> XRG #hours left bill for 11/15-11/30 --- 03:05 D-R --- 03:15 computer shut off, restart flashlight in pocket Sears coat on lap cell at 40%... print Canada Euc cert of origin, 12x print ordernote_Leaves, 35x --- 03:27 D-R, again >> list most powerful stats (5x?) showing dif. areas of EQ effectiveness - Mental Health - Veterans - Suicide - Physical Health - ACE study - Education - Test scores - Truancy, problems, bullying - Business - Success - Bottom line - Criminal Justice - 3x as many black males in prison as slaves Stats: - Physical Health / AceStudy Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults - Kids / SEL The Positive Impact of SEL for Kindergarten to Eighth-Grade Students: Findings from Three Scientific Reviews Anchorage, Alaska public school district (STAR testing scores up 25%!) - Business / 6Sec The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence 2010 – review of current research linking EQ to improved leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. research by PsychTests (http://psychtests.com) reveals that top performers at work outscored their less successful counterparts on all 33 EQ factors, 23 of which were by 10 points or more on a scale from 0 to 100. - Veterans / VA Veteran suicides outpaced combat deaths for past 3 years (2008-2010)! - Mental Health / WHO, suicides Every year, almost one million people die from suicide WHO mentioned "Emotional Intelligence" 151 times, in discussing training, preparation, healing, happiness, suicide prevention, etc. --- 04:05 Paula called to say we have "half power" go through all power switches to test now wet, and doggies are wet, but no dif. PG&E "is there such thing as half power?" yes. they'll be out --- 05ish POWER OUT 4 2 days(!) --- 12.3 Monday, WFH (to manage the generator) --- 12.4 04:00 up 04:33 here ,LI-EIN ,MFF eblast, v2 --- LI-EIN 15/23 S.T.A.P.L.E.S.™ = Skills Talents Attitudinal Energies Passion Leadership Emotional Intelligence Service The best advice for dealing with negative comments that works for me is still what my mother told me: "They've got the problem, not you" - Jane Barrash commented on Does anyone have thoughts on how to have a thicker skin and take negative comments in stride or for what they're worth? @Ray, I know I can be annoying in my desire for clarification, but I do want to make sure that in addition to understanding the importance of emotion (which is why we're all in this discussion), you understand the nature and role of consciousness, and its relationship to emotion. Yes people have too much dysfunctional emotion and we are discussing here how to better handle negativity I'm glad to hear that those you work with don't shift their addictions/neuroses (thanks @Marika for the reminders). I like to make sure people are aware that we can get addicted to brain chemical cocktails (which are tied to emotions like anger or anxiety), and unconsciously create or influence the circumstances that will yield the next chemical fix. We are not machines, we are systems of information and energy so its important to look at emotional challenges as part of a holistic system...not something or someone(s) that you want to excise or sew up. In a mechanical model of course the people you speak of have reason to be upset given the circumstances. In the quantum model, if they justify their emotional upsets they are keeping those neuronetworks of negativity very active. It's important to feel, learn from, be opened by emotions, but not wallow or perpetuate. Dig down and move through. I can have compassion and empathize, but I will hold people accountable for emotions they love to hate. I know they can change and thankyou @ Susan for your marvelous self-observation practice! We can change our operating systems :) The brain does rewire and all the research I am familiar with indicates old neuro networks do disappear. --- 05:04 Robin/Heaven, running for Miss San Diego(!) Hey, so glad she's moving forward into bigger arenas! She has it all, so she just might... anyways, I was trying to pitch in, but neither the links below, nor the links in the PDF are working! can you help her get it fixed, and let me/us know? Rock on, proud dad! - Matt --- 05:55 MFF eblast out couldn't make new header, no AI you do it, and send it to me. --- 05:57 Hi Sumit, (Vorha, for Josh) Thanks for joining us and we appreciate your submissions to the EQ network! I see that you are announcing changes to Nursery Admissions. We strive to ensure that all posts to the group are EQ-related, so in the future, can you connect the two (EQ and nursery admissions), perhaps supporting EQ/SEL in schools/nurseries? Thanks again. - Matt --- 06:16 one new sub 2 more orders ,print EP labels and MA labe.s/instructions (now that I have power again!) --- PP = 2926 (good, after big expenses!) -375 Landmark Forum -290 USPS gotta go finish (bigger) orders (fallen banana leaves) , invoice XRG (10x) --- 1:00 SR on Webex, Validation Mtg (total waste of time) had Webex call thru my laptop... apparently it has a built-in mic (which I never knew(!) >> how to do technical meetings with numerous people, but only a few are engaged in deep discussion take this off-line not going in! --- 1:48 Hi Shabbir, Let's talk! I work in downtown SF, and stay in San Rafael during the week, so let's talk by phone some time. I can talk after 7 or before 9 Mon-Thurs, or any time Friday, Sat, Sun. We can choose a time, or just call me, and I'll call back, if necessary. Looking forward to meeting you. - Matt 916-599-8597 (c) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Hello From: Shabbir Latif via LinkedIn Date: Tue, December 04, 2012 8:26 am To: Matt Perelstein LinkedIn Shabbir Latif has sent you a message. Date: 12/04/2012 Subject: Hello Thanks for connecting. It seems like only two local people responded to my survey of EI meetup in the SF bay area. Two of them were out of town. One of them is you. I would love to connect with you and learn more about your passion and challenges in helping people. My mission is to empower parents, teachers, and teenagers to create a stress-free, constructive, learning environment. I live in San Jose, CA. Where are you located? Can we connect personally, phone, or Skype? View/reply to this message Don't want to receive e-mail notifications? Adjust your message settings. This email was intended for Matt Perelstein (Emotional Intelligence advocate and lead EQ instructor at 2GetHelp.org). Learn why we included this. © 2012, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA --- 3:33 sent Eblast! 2,255x It Was a Fierce Green Weekend per Betsy and Marcie Canvas Dec 04, 2012 3:33PM Pending Approval --- , orders 2 S MA Please put a note in each box saying "Merry Christmas from Bobbie Van Enk" Here are the addresses: Kingdom Kritters Rescue & Sanctuary c/o Val Betts 604 Deahl Street Borger, TX 79007 SouthEast Companion Animal Rescue & Education Services, Inc c/o Kate Keller PO Box 342 Vero Beach, Fl 32961 Thanks! Arren - Theresa Chambers 84 Bond Street Westminster, MD 21157 1/2B, 2' * (aroma!) (whoops) Kim Sandak 1L ROUND kymmie61@gmail.com 2346 Druid Rd. East Clearwater, FL 33764 1L (oval) Kelly Miller 708 Rosedale St Annapolis, MD 21401 Robin Haldeman 5B, 3' 1 & 1/2" Waterford Drive Crystal Run Farms Middletown, DE 19709 --- IMS until 8pm --- Shabbir >> calling 2pm Friday --- right-brain/left-brain synergy --- 08:42 Hi Sandy... I like that story... how nice! I can get/cut pretty much whatever you'd like. I'd suggest the many, aromatic leaves attached to new growth branches... they're beautiful, and smell wonderful. Maybe a foot long or so. We can time it so that they arrive as close to the date as possible for the big day... when is it? How many would you need... I can give you a weight/cost estimate. Best wishes to you all. - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus branches From: "Sandy Higgins" Date: Tue, December 04, 2012 8:15 pm To: My future son in law proposed to my daughter in a field of eucalyptus in California. I am arranging some hydrangea in centerpieces on the tables at the reception and would like to include euchalyptus. What would you suggest? Are there smaller branches? The centerpieces will not be tall. Thanks for your guidance. Sandy --- 12.5 Fraser, entire first season --- Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. --- 07:15 Thanks, Paul. Yes, this was a good one (altho' we're working on a new, more generic header banner). I just do the grunt work... Betsy and Marcie do the harder, creative work. Attached are the stats, so far, on this eblast. Again, we got zero Facebook 'Likes' from this mailing, so I suggest we stop talking about it. These people either already Liked us, or they ain't gonna at this point. Let's push them to our beautiful and informative website, instead. - Matt --- 07:31 Hi. A few things: The 'production' PAD database is the one in the main folder: T:\AccessDB\2010 Desktop Copies. There is also a Shortcut in that same folder that opens the same database (PAD). Since these are redundant, the shortcut can be removed if it's confusing. There's another folder called \PAD_Tester, which has another version of PAD, where I do my work and testing. I've removed the DoNotSend functionality, as well as the reset of ReadyToSend, in the test database. I'll work on splitting the batch email sendouts, as well as the BG numbering functionality in POD, tonight. I'm about out of hours for LBL. We'll need a few more for PAD, and more for POD (not sure how many yet). Please let me know if this will be a problem. Thanks. More tomorrow. - Matt --- going for 08:30 bus shower, first (hope Tom's up) MISSED it! went on 09:15 ferry (didn't matter one bit) Jim's not in today, Shruti's not in this MONTH, and my first mtg wasn't 'til 10:30 10:30 - 1 on phone, entire time! --- Feb. 3, Superbowl! --- got 6' audio cable at Radio shack for $5. --- 4:50 Hi! I agree with #2 (Murphy’s), but have no preference of Wednesday vs Thursday (Wednesday is 12/12/12, so that’s kinda cool, but also irrelevant!). Many telecommute on Wednesdays tho’ (notice how quiet it is right now?) so they might pass (like Jim) which would be a shame. If we go to Murphy’s, we can spend more on prizes. I like the raffle idea, too. I vote for 3-6pm, so people can go home about the same time they usually do. I think the photobooth would be great fun, and give people some memorabilia to keep. That’s very cool that Suga has set one up before… it doesn’t sound too difficult, and I’m happy to help! We could even do a customized photo frame, with “Happy Holidays from IMS” -- “thanks for being part of the team” kinda thing, pre-printed. Low price, nice touch. I’m really liking the Cupcake building idea that Daisy had too, for fun, creativity and team-building! • Build the 'coolest cupcake structure' you can in an hour o Name your project (Maybe some construction paper to display the project name) o Present it to the group for voting o 8-10 teams of 4-5x each • All vote, prizes for first 3 winners for coolest, and maybe 1 for ugliest and one we come up with during the event, like Most likely to crash -n- burn(?) • Pics taken with all team-members and their structures o Print pics at the event o Put 'em in a customized cardboard holder to take home or put on their desk o Post pics after for viewing/download • Cupcake building materials o Order sheets of plain (undecorated) cupcakes, 100-200 total, some white, some chocolate, etc. o Icings, pretzel logs, sprinkles, chocolates, mints, candy canes, lifesavers, licorice, ribbon, etc. o Super cheap and super creative • Murphy’s would have to OK the food being brought in, and provide some long(er) tables to work on. Some ‘tools’ would be nice (like knives, icing decorator bags/tips, tweezers, etc.) It’d be easy enough to have a Darts tournament going on at the same time, with prizes for winners. Cupcake decorating ideas (but couldn’t find any cupcake BUILDing ideas). http://hoosierhomemade.com/host-a-cupcake-decorating-party-cupcake-tuesday/ http://hoosierhomemade.com/christmas-cupcakescupcake-challenge-recap/ Lots to do Prizes for many/most Keepsake pic for all to take home Inexpensive Easy to prepare Good team-building opportunity Fun for all! Whatchathink? - Matt --- 6 out, to make ferry PL by 7 for support group call --- 10:24 "Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that it will makes sense, regardless of how it turns out." - Vaclav Havel --- 1L 3013313096 --- kimberly 727-474-7682 fat leaves --- how to take the issues we are having now, and seeing how they're directly connected to our childhood. 11 pause --- 12.6 04:30 up >> LBL, 2x, plus hours, 2x --- LI-EIN "If I treat you as you are, you will remain as you are. If I treat you as if you were what you could be, that is what you will become." - Goethe - William "Bill" V. commented on Do words cause feelings/emotions or do emotions cause our words? Do you attract people/clients by our words or by the feeling behind our... "It is iterative and inextricably intertwined. Words cause emotions, and emotions cause words, along with the often more significant ... "more… "It is iterative and inextricably intertwined. Words cause emotions, and emotions cause words, along with the often more significant non-verbal cues. Often there is an interactive effect. And this cycle can spiral up or down, in terms of relationships. Sometimes the words are not consistent with the non-verbal communication, which causes confusion at best, but generally makes matters worse due to compromise of transparency and integrity. It really does not matter where it starts, and it is generally much easier to do damage than to repair it. Perhaps more important in building healthy, constructive, productive relationships is how well we listen, a skill that is grossly underdeveloped in most individuals, groups, and organizations. Active, skilled listening can help ensure words and emotions are not misunderstood, including the underlying assumptions behind the words and feelings. " --- ND Brochure It's about Learning to Unlearn, and ReLearn! --- Does Purpose Affect Emotion by Josh Freedman http://www.6seconds.org/2012/11/01/does-purpose-affect-emotions/ >> scoop.it --- SR® TrainingSubconscious Restructuring®Coporate LicensingSupport.:: SR® Counseling Coaching Intervention Coaching Training $1995, online http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/subconscious-restructuring-intervention >> see how they did their video testimonials took an interview and overlaid the person's name, and a bottom banner http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/life-coach-counseling-certification-dates --- 05:28 No worries, mate! You're ok with me... and I DO listen to you. Thanks much for sharing... helps me feel closer to you. I've had similar experiences in childhood, and I too have social anxiety... interesting, ey? I guess some of us, who are afraid of people, end up WATCHing and observing and summing people up... from a distance, perhaps, but also pretty effectively, if I must say so! So, yeah, let's write a book, whether we have a 'publisher' or not. You have awesome stuff.. to tell... as do I. We need to get this stuff out to the world, somehow, someway. This is a nice forum, but I don't think people go back and read old posts much, so it needs to be in a more tangible, lasting, mobile format that can be proactive. Those of us who know, are responsible to teach those who do not. and People are dying, both emotionally and quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. wanna talk sometime, maybe this weekend? (your faithful fan) - Matt On 12/03/12 6:01 AM, Ray Mathis wrote: -------------------- I want to apologize for the original post. It was "picky" and inappropriate. So please let me explain. I spent close to four decades doing this kind of work with kids, and myself of course, long before most people in education were even thinking about it. I actually took a lot of flack for doing it. Believe it or not, often from counselors, etc. It was like "turf" wars in many ways. Not for me, but apparently for them. I could never get anyone to listen to me about ideas I had to help kids with all the issues we were trying to deal with. Because I truly believe any efforts have to be school wide for them to be as effective as they could be. Quite frankly, my school district was probably relieved when I retired, looking forward to having a health teacher who taught health the "normal" way. Lots of missed opportunities for them and me because they had that "he's out there" perception of me. One of my frustrations was that the year after I retired, the state of IL finally enacted the Social and Emotional Learning standards, pretty much vindicating the approach I'd taken with kids for over three decades. I retired not to get out of the classroom, because I love it. Not the daily grind of it, but working with kids. It's why I do the "Tool Time" groups for FREE. That and partly to prove I was right all along about what we can do with kids. But the problem I run into there is that too many teachers keep doing things their same old way, plugging into many cognitive, emotion and behavioral "ruts" they brought with them to the classroom, some of which are helpful, many of which are not when dealing with my kind of kids. It's why I signed on to teach five different grad classes for teachers in the Chicago area. I had hoped to be speaking a lot more than I do, to conventions, to schools, to colleges and universities, maybe in the corporate world as well. For some reason I haven't figured out yet, it hasn't worked out as well as I'd hoped. Keep trying, but frustrating to say the least. My wife keeps saying it's because I don't have a PhD, and all these other letters after my name. She might be right, I don't know. The classes have been frustrating as well because there has suddenly been all kinds of budget issues in IL (and elsewhere) and changes in the way classes get taken (i.e. reimbursement) and there's been a drop off in people signing up. And that started right about the time I started teaching. I figured writing a book could be a way to open some doors. Seems to for others. But lots of dead ends there as well trying to get literary agents or publishers interested. It's amazing as many books get published as do. But the most frustrating part of all is that it feels like a "script" of my life playing out one more time. A script that started as a child, of not being able to get anyone to listen to me. Having a lot to say and tell people, but for some reason, not knowing how to get them to listen. I know I have social anxiety big time, always have since I was a child. Some of it I truly believe in genetic, the rest environmental, because my daughter seems to have inherited a proclivity for it, but she also had some of the same experiences I had as a child unfortunately, in spite of my trying to help her avoid them. Sometimes I think that social anxiety creates a certain amount of ineptness when trying to get into various types of "circles", like speaking, publishing, etc, and that may be why I'm "missing something". Anyway, that's a look at my past, but I've got to avoid staring at it. The point of all this is that this network, and the others I belong too, have been a tremendous outlet for someone who has a lot they want to tell people that they've learned from what they've done for almost 40 years, and who has been frustrated for much of his 62 years getting people to listen anywhere else. And sometimes I go overboard. I try to just share, but you never know how people even take that in this format, except for the "likes" and other feedback. And I try not to critique anything, because I know everyone has a lot of time, energy and effort invested in whatever they do and how they do it, and what we all do becomes "sacred cows" for us, And I don't mean that in any negative way at all. What I do, and the how I do it is a "sacred cow" for me. And if I do feel strongly about something, I try to do it in as tactful way as possible, but as soon as you call something into question, even if in as tactful way as possible, you're treading into dangerous territory. That's one of the reasons I think Albert Ellis got a bad rap a lot, because he had an "in your face" style. I was on the receiving end of it once myself. My mentor adopted that same style and for all the people that love him for what he shares with them, and does for them, that combative style is why some hate his guts. I've tried hard to learn from their mistakes. So I apologize if that original email seemed "picky". Get so caught up in making points some times that lose sight of how it might be perceived by others. But give me a little time to reflect, and I usually correct those mistakes. Ray --- Hello Matt, I want to thank you for deciding to join the Conover Company’s Group for Social & Emotional Intelligence. I am currently offering free webinars for educators looking to learn more about our online assessments & curriculum. Would you be interested in signing up for a 20 minute webinar to learn more? Social/Emotional Intelligence Assessments: Personal Responsibility Youtube Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SQtnHSIt6Q&feature=plcp Success Profiler Youtbue Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5v36gXVnNE Thank you again for joining our Group and your interest in learning more about social/emotional intelligence. Sincerely, Mark Sonnenburg --- Five Ways Managers Can Improve Their Performance http://under30ceo.com/five-ways-managers-can-improve-their-performance/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Under30CEOAll+%28Under30CEO%29 There is no such thing as a perfect manager, but in today’s market it is important that every employee improves his or her performance. Here are a few things that managers can do to improve their performance. 1. Lead by Example While this common phrase is used daily in various situations, it is equally important in management. Most managers have been placed in positions not because they are the best in their field but because of their experience. This experience sometimes causes them to become lazy and lax in their approach. Managers feel that they should just give direction instead of showing their team members the right way by performing to the best of their ability. 2. Give The Reason Some managers have a hard time communicating with their employees. Oftentimes, they will assign them tasks without giving them a reason. Employees should not be told to do something without a reason. Conveying the reason gives the employee a better idea of the purpose. For example, Manager John tells the front line employees to always answer the phones on the first ring. John has just given a command and has not given them a reason why this is important. It would have been better if John told the reason to answer the call on the first ring is because the company is trying to improve sales from inbound calls. It is important that the phones are answered on the first ring so that there are no missed opportunities. 3. Implement & Support Peer to Peer Coaching To further improve communication efforts between managers and employees, peer to peer coaching is a suggested method. This allows employees to help each other throughout the day without managers handling all of the situations. Most front line employees have a better connection with the person that works with them daily as compared to their supervisor. This creates a support system and also reduces the chance of small issues turning into big issues. 4. Identify Your Employee Strengths We all have our weaknesses just like we have our strengths. Too many times managers will focus on their employees’ weaknesses and overlook their strengths. This is a big problem that managers do not address. Identifying the strengths of employees provides you sense of what each employee role should be. The science of Organizational Performance looks at the entire organization including the employees. When you have people working in an area where their strengths will not be used this hurts their overall performance. Managers must be engaged with their employees to create a winning team. 5. Create Your Own Management Style What works for someone else will not always work for you. Often managers try to emulate the practices and styles of other managers. The truth is that every manager has their own style. The best thing to do is to try different methods to improve your team such as weekly meetings, one on ones, or even daily motivations. Bottom line, just do what best fits you and your team. This process will take some time to develop but do not be discouraged. Your employees will appreciate your efforts and will respect your individuality. Tim Lampkin is an entrepreneur based out of Mississippi. He is the CEO of Southern City Greeks. His background covers the areas of Management, Sales, Organizational Performance, and Marketing. Lampkin also provides services such as Booking, Tour Production, and Public Relations for several people in the entertainment industry. He is currently pursuing his MBA from Delta State University. --- it is not necessary for you to report everyone's mistakes to them, much less to give them corrections. --- 05:55 Pablo Fung Hey Pablo, remember me? I still remember you as one of the best programmers I've ever met... and our company is hiring, if you're interested. I work for IMS Health in downtown San Francisco, but they/we have an office in Rancho Cordova. It's data management and analysis using SQL Server. Any need/interest? Hope you're happy and well! - Matt --- Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Punishment useful or a dirty word? The three R's of consequences I was taught as a teacher are: Related, Reasonable and Respectful. Unfortunately, too often what teachers and parents do is not one or more of these. I was also taught that sometimes the job involves "protecting kids from themselves". For example, asking a student to leave the room temporarily to cool down, and as he leaves explaining to him and the rest of the class, "I'm having him go out there for a while to gather his thoughts and cool down because you and I both know that if he stays in here and continues as he is, he's probably going to say or do something that's going to force my hand and put me in a place where I have to do something. (even though we don't ever HAVE TO do anything)" Alfred Adler said, "A problem is a misbehavior that gets managed". A lot of that happens in schools, and probably in homes as well, largely because teachers and parents make themselves angry. I was also taught "There's two ways to make something worse. Do nothing and overreact to it". Most do the latter because they make themselves angry. Part of protecting kids from themselves is to learn to not make yourself angry. Because if you think the kid makes you angry, and he/she thinks they make you angry, it gives that kid a false sense of power and control over you that ends up reinforcing the very behavior you may not like. Kids will do a lot of self-defeating things, and accept all kinds of consequences they don't like just to satisfy that "mistaken" goal of "power" or "revenge". And at the same time it's important to set limits, and enforce them, I also always encourage my fellow teachers to remember that behavior is just the tip of the iceberg, and in many ways a symptom of other things that can and should be addressed. And the more "tools" they have for making sense out of what's going on, and dealing with the real underlying causes of any behavior they don't like, the better. Because there's another old saying in teaching, "If you're only tool is a hammer, you treat every kid like a nail". And I never wanted to be just another nail in some kids "coffin", either on purpose or inadvertently. One of the irrational beliefs teachers and parents often have is "We have to do something about everything a kid does". No, we don't, and sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. Another irrational belief is "We have to teach this kid a lesson". We have no control over what lesson they might learn, and it might not be one we'd like. In the end, the fall back is the "first do no harm rule" from medicine. "If you can't make something better, at least don't make it worse". Posted by Ray Mathis - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Punishment useful or a dirty word? Demanding obedience vs inviting co operation - very profound, a wonderful way of putting things in perspective - if only we'd have patience and find courage ! --- enuf with the SM admin stuff time to do LBL --- Word and Excel are now "unlicensed products" on laptop so I can open/read, but no write or save, yikes(!) >> XRG at home! downloaded EULA how many installations do I actually have? --- LBL made 4 buttons to do effort letters in batches by Lastname A-F G-M N-R S-Z and made POD Bio TESTER.mdb, but uses ULS, and I don't have an ID/password --- 07:16 Ten Timeless Persuasive Writing Techniques http://www.copyblogger.com/persuasive-writing/ Want to convince your readers to do something or agree with your point of view? OK, that was a silly question. Of course you do. Persuasion is generally an exercise in creating a win-win situation. You present a case that others find beneficial to agree with. You make them an offer they can’t refuse, but not in the manipulative Godfather sense. It’s simply a good deal or a position that makes sense to that particular person. But there are techniques that can make your job easier and your case more compelling. While this list is in no way comprehensive, these 10 strategies are used quite a bit because they work. Repetition Talk to anyone well versed in learning psychology, and they’ll tell you repetition is crucial. It’s also critical in persuasive writing, since a person can’t agree with you if they don’t truly get what you’re saying. Of course, there’s good repetition and bad. To stay on the good side, make your point in several different ways, such as directly, using an example, in a story, via a quote from a famous person, and once more in your summary. Reasons Why Remember the power of the word because. Psychological studies have shown that people are more likely to comply with a request if you simply give them a reason why… even if that reason makes no sense. The strategy itself does make sense if you think about it. We don’t like to be told things or asked to take action without a reasonable explanation. When you need people to be receptive to your line of thinking, always give reasons why. Consistency It’s been called the “hobgoblin of little minds,” but consistency in our thoughts and actions is a valued social trait. We don’t want to appear inconsistent, since, whether fair or not, that characteristic is associated with instability and flightiness, while consistency is associated with integrity and rational behavior. Use this in your writing by getting the reader to agree with something up front that most people would have a hard time disagreeing with. Then rigorously make your case, with plenty of supporting evidence, all while relating your ultimate point back to the opening scenario that’s already been accepted. Social Proof Looking for guidance from others as to what to do and what to accept is one of the most powerful psychological forces in our lives. It can determine whether we deliver aid to a person in need, and it can determine whether we muster the courage to kill ourselves. Obvious examples of social proof can be found in testimonials and outside referrals, and it’s the driving force behind social media. But you can also casually integrate elements of social proof in your writing, ranging from skillful alignment with outside authorities to blatant name dropping. Comparisons Metaphors, similes and analogies are the persuasive writer’s best friends. When you can relate your scenario to something that the reader already accepts as true, you’re well on your way to convincing someone to see things your way. But comparisons work in other ways too. Sometimes you can be more persuasive by comparing apples to oranges (to use a tired but effective metaphor). Don’t compare the price of your home study course to the price of a similar course—compare it to the price of a live seminar or your hourly consulting rate. Agitate and Solve This is a persuasion theme that works as an overall approach to making your case. First, you identify the problem and qualify your audience. Then you agitate the reader’s pain before offering your solution as the answer that will make it all better. The agitation phase is not about being sadistic; it’s about empathy. You want the reader to know unequivocally that you understand his problem because you’ve dealt with it and/or are experienced at eliminating it. The credibility of your solution goes way up if you demonstrate that you truly feel the prospect’s pain. Prognosticate Another persuasion theme involves providing your readers with a glimpse into the future. If you can convincingly present an extrapolation of current events into likely future outcomes, you may as well have a license to print money. This entire strategy is built on credibility. If you have no idea what you’re talking about, you’ll end up looking foolish. But if you can back up your claims with your credentials or your obvious grasp of the subject matter, this is an extremely persuasive technique. Go Tribal Despite our attempts to be sophisticated, evolved beings, we humans are exclusionary by nature. Give someone a chance to be a part of a group that they want to be in—whether that be wealthy, or hip, or green, or even contrarian—and they’ll hop on board whatever train you’re driving. This is the technique used in the greatest sales letter ever written. Find out what group people want to be in, and offer them an invitation to join while seemingly excluding others. Address Objections If you present your case and someone is left thinking “yeah, but…”, well, you’ve lost. This is why direct marketers use long copy—it’s not that they want you to read it all, it’s that they want you to read enough until you buy. Addressing all the potential objections of at least the majority of your readers can be tough, but if you really know your subject the arguments against you should be fairly obvious. If you think there are no reasonable objections to your position, you’re in for a shock if you have comments enabled. Storytelling Storytelling is really a catch-all technique—you can and should use it in combination with any and all of the previous nine strategies. But the reason why storytelling works so well lies at the heart of what persuasion really is. Stories allow people to persuade themselves, and that’s what it’s really all about. You might say that we never convince anyone of anything—we simply help others independently decide that we’re right. Do everything you can to tell better stories, and you’ll find that you are a terribly persuasive person. As I mentioned, this is in no way a complete list. What other persuasive writing strategies work for you? --- shower Tom 08:13 go! --- verizon, 440.48 233.70 <-- overdue! Joint checking? --- >> put a blank check in wallet --- LBL Woohoo! If you want to get everyone out, I can make it 'live'... otherwise, I can do it tonight. What else?! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Pending Actions with PAD From: Davina Abram Date: Thu, December 06, 2012 11:38 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Gail Mosley , Helen Cademartori , Mary G Cruz Matt, I just tested the 4 different effort email buttons and I even tested it in different variations. It appears to be accurate. All letters are being batched by alpha. It looks good. Davina - So glad you're getting the correct numbers, Davina! I'll fix the alignment problem.... when less than 10%, the missing digit shifts things to the left. If everyone gets out when they leave tonight, I can update early in the morning, before ya'll get to work. - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: Pending Actions with PAD From: Davina Abram Date: Thu, December 06, 2012 1:14 pm To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Gail Mosley , Helen Cademartori , Mary Tydingco Here's the attachment. Davina ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Davina Abram Date: Thu, Dec 6, 2012 at 1:11 PM Subject: Re: Pending Actions with PAD To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Gail Mosley , Helen Cademartori , Mary G Cruz Mary, I wanted to show you that Dec & Jan letters are accurate. I checked the percentages for 2 people who's effort often changes from month to month and it added up. Please take a look at the examples attached. Also, I noticed the alignment off a bit, but not a big deal. Matt, Mary can tell you if it's best to wait until the end of the day or if it's okay for everyone to exit PAD during business hours so you can change it from test to live. We just need to know when to exit PAD. Thanks, Davina --- 1:30 - 2:05 Took CJ to lunch, Chinese next door at Galleria (roof was closed for some reason) Youde, Franco, Pet, Dong, CJ and I got pic nice... talked about survellience and how the CIA kidnapped a guy in Italy and they could trace EVER step they took! cookie later. nope but walked him a few blocks on his way home, for the last time. sad, cried all the way back. I get really attached to people. --- 6:08 out, parking garage, home (in massive traffic, I'm sure) --- --- 12.7 04ish Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Punishment useful or a dirty word? There's a simple paradigm for how to be with kids. Imagine two categories on the left side of a chart, KIND and UNKIND. And two across the top, FIRM and UNFIRM. Now, consider the possible combinations. KIND AND FIRM, KIND AND UNFIRM, UNKIND AND FIRM, and finally UNKIND AND UNFIRM. No such paradigm is perfect,. and there obviously could be gradations of all the four categories in real life. But the most effective way is to be is KIND AND FIRM. Kids will put up with a lot if they know you have their best interests at heart and you're KIND, or they at least perceive you as being KIND more often than not. There's an another old saying in teaching, "They won't care what you know until they know you care". And of course, there's that ancient saying, at least I'm assuming it's ancient, "You get a lot more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. The thing that ultimately determines which you can be, or end up being, is how effectively you manage your own cognitive and emotional responses in response to what kids do. Anger is the number 1 "enemy of effectiveness" for teachers and parents. It makes us more likely to be UNKIND, or at least be perceived as being so by kids, and makes us more likely to react or overreact, and harder to abide by the 3 R's of consequences, Related, Reasonable, Respectful. And the biggest cause of anger is that 1) Teachers and parents wrongly blame kids for their anger, and 2) They DEMAND kids do what they want, and be the way they want, and think it's AWFUL, and that they CAN'T STAND IT when they don't, and aren't. Both are easy to correct, sort of. But such ways of looking at things are often deeply "rutted" in peoples minds, and therefore resistant to change. Posted by Ray Mathis - The key thing is usually the intent of those imposing consequences. I mentioned Rudolph Dreikurs "Mistaken" Goals model earlier. At least I think I do. It was developed to explain kids misbehaving in classrooms, but has much wider application. Two of those are "Power" (Control) and "Revenge". They're mistaken because kids end up giving away more power and control than they get from what they do, and they give adults to do things to them they otherwise might not be able to, or think to. They only get a FALSE sense of power or revenge for a short time (even though they can replay the incident in their heads and relive that moment). And it makes getting along with teachers or parents harder, and makes it less likely they'll be able to do what it takes to be successful. Parents and teachers, even cops and other authorities, often have the "mistaken" goals of "power" (control) and "revenge" when they impose consequences. They are typically angry when they do because they are thinking "How dare you....?" They are often taking what a child says or does personal, even if it's not. The essence of taking it personal is "How dare you do that to ME?" or "....in MY class?" or "....in MY home?" Consider the different videos we've all seen on TV when people are dealing with offenders. Sometimes you see an officer taking all kinds of abuse and calmly writing someone a ticket. And other times you see them beating on someone needlessly with night sticks. If a teacher or parent has made themselves angry, and has these "mistaken" goals, then what they say and do is, in my mind, punishment, and will usually be perceived as such by children, especially teens, or in the case of cops, other adults. Which only invites them to settle the score in some way. And the smart ones will pick their time and way wisely, and unfortunately, it might even involve "cutting off their nose to spite their face", and be at a bad time, in a bad way for us. Like a kid starting to do badly in school. Doing something to embarrassed a teacher or parent. Like when a cop's kid gets busted for drugs, or a teacher's kid gets him/herself kicked out of school where their mom/dad work. If we want consequences to have the greatest potential to work, it's important we stay or get into the right cognitive and emotional place before saying or doing anything. To make that easier and more likely, it's good to a lot of mental practice for such events well in advance. Until we are able to get into that place, the best thing to do is often nothing. A lady in one of my grad classes said she had a kid yell out the "f" word out of the blue one day. She said t caught her so off guard coming from that particular boy that she didn't know what to think, feel, say or do. So she just remained quiet. Within a few seconds, some girls in the class started giving the guy a hard time and insisting he apologize to her. He did, and did so sincerely, then and again after class. And she never had to say anything, and she and the boy had a better relationship after that. The other things I think we really need to consider is what the kids might do with what we say or do. There are many who will really shame themselves for what they've done without our help, and do it even more with our encouragement. Shame can have some serious untoward effects. Shame is often the primary disturbance in alcohol and drug use and abuse, suicide, kids shutting down in school, or even eventually dropping out. (the opposite of what we want them to do) So I think it's important to know the child and what he/she tends to do in their own minds with things that happen, and that others say and do to them. It's important to look for feedback, be it signs that they are starting to shame or beat up on themselves, or getting ready to explode, and adjust. Easier to do if not angry. Punishment like beauty is ultimately in the eye of the beholder. --- 04:12 My walk is not only for exercise. It is a meditation, it refreshes my spirit. It is a time of inspiration, a reconnection with nature and with my soul. - Felicity Pullman Tuning in to the language of our bodies can be very enlightening and increases our intuition. ----------- mcp ----------- Whoever retains the natural curiosity and wonder of childhood is never bored or dull. --- here agitated anxious fired up crouched and ready I want to teach EQ INSTEAD of sitting in a chair, on my buttocks. (kinda) make a plan, stan it's 4am on a Friday I have to work some today, I have a eq guy calling at 2, and that's about it until Monday morning. oh and gingerbread houses tonight with PR and Josh. and paula's now frantic that there aren't enough Christmas decorations up (which is true) but it's the frantic that bothers me. if I know it's frantic, I have be able to rise above it, and not treat her badly BECAUSE she's frantic much of the time. frantic sounds like anger. fear sounds like anger jealousy sounds like anger pettiness sounds like anger, and disgust, and judgmental --- I continue to be heartened by the wisdom of children. What insightful children we have at Synapse School! If you guide them in EQ skills they will always surprise you with their wisdom! I am hoping all of you in the EQ Educators' Network have a great day tomorrow and just take the time to listen to our children! You will always learn so much from them! Write on, Deb, the kiddos are so great, and Synapse is doing fabulous work in this area! I tell people, if you're into instant gratification, try teaching EQ! You get to see instant, and lasting results, all the time. Their little eyes light up, a smile comes across their face, "Kewl!" and off they go -- braver, stronger, less alone, more loving -- to conquer their world. I ask you, is there anything better, or more important, we could be doing, than giving the next generations the tools they need to survive and thrive, to live and give, to feel and heal?!? EQRocks! - alone. so, one of the biggest issues with suicide is Aloneness. People feel alone, cut off, misunderstood, rejected, abandoned, alone. this is horribly pervasive, core feeling, that I contend that we can do something about this, for many, many people I believe we can teach people how to connect how to listen, and speak, in a way, that Works, for everyone. someone cares there is goodness and faith in the world. I have seen people, with NO Hope or connection, completely CHANGE their Mind about their aloneness (it's only a state-of-mind, so it can be changed at the speed of thought). you can let yourself Feel connected by opening your heart. BUT, opening your heart to love, invites/brings up/connects with the PAIN that is lying OVER and around and Thru your poor, beaten-up, rejected, abused, traumatized little heart. it's true. if you want to Love more, you're probably signing up to Cry more, as well. get used to it. (ND brochure) it's ok. you're ok. it's gonna be ok. because you're gonna be ok. and you know that, but you/we Create our Ok-ness. EQ is about knowing how to Be Ok. EQ is the understanding of Ok-ness, so we can re-create it. EQ has the toolbox people need to BUILD their Ok-ness, and their love, and have them care about their world. maybe it'll back-fire Risk Factors timing - we gotta go. people are dying, both figuratively and literally, to know what we know about EQ. values - once people are more open, they are also more vulnerable to scams, attacks and desceptions. () study showed that people with high love/eq are easier to fool. target population is unreasonable - agreed. it is. changing the world. maybe I need to break it down or be more specific, but that's the goal. if we only reach half our goal, I think I'll be ok with that... but you can count on me to 'keep trying' (25 years so far, and we ARE getting closer/better/more EQ aware -- yay!) Look at the ads, the sales slogans for the biggest, most popular companies are EQ--based messages... that cleaverly encourages their product while giving a positive life-message in hopes that you'll pass it on to your friends and family. I love it! and many of the most popular posts on Facebook nowadays, are a photo (.jpg/.gif) of a cool life saying. D-R As I walk to work through downtown SF, and see sooo many people, and I think, "Many of these people are in pain, either physically, emotionally, or both. I can't do much about their physical pain, but I CAN do something about their emotional pain!" --- no mas. --- D-R I'm not a great businessman. I'm not a great leader. But I am a nut for EQ, and I do believe it's the answer we're looking to get behind. I would love to be a fellow of DRK, and I welcome your vastly superior wisdom if you were to become partners in this growth, as together, I do believe, we can change the world. - Matt Perelstein, EQ Dude, Extraordinaire! --- FB ought to allow a nickname or 'handle' for people to express themselves better. --- 05-06:23 LBL --- 07:37 Thanks, Yassin! I appreciate your help. How many have completed the form so far? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Feel.org paypal integration From: yassin shaar Date: Fri, December 07, 2012 7:02 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Joshua Freedman , Ayman Sawaf Hi Matt, We need to change the widget for this purpose. Will get the team on it and let you know when its done. Yassin --- 10-10:35 drive MH in to OceanView RV hot water back thermostat windows rattle hitchhiked home, with Val, Jordan's mom --- 10:30 & 11 IMS mtgs --- Abbie's road trip! http://www.mytripjournal.com/pv/712993-22-1-0-0-Day-5--Near-Fayetteville-WV --- Jordan called, no order 1L (oval) Kelly Miller 708 Rosedale St Annapolis, MD 21401 --- Wherever you go, go with all your heart. - Confucius --- don't ask, "Can everybody see me?" "Do you all understand?" --- 2pm EQ call Meetups how to empower people Solidad youth 4-year program Last Chance in Texas Life Story and Crime Story kids shut down everything but anger Doc, and Glenda Pleasant Valley men's prison and CCWF women's prison in California. Teaches in High School Emotional Literacy Recognizing Patterns Empathy Purpose Hero's Journey sense of purpose Advanced Practitioner Curriculum Adult Ed Courses --- PR & josh over for Gingerbread houses, and a train very mellow and pleasant 2 beers, incl. Scotto's Krok(?), which was Excellent! chair --- 12.8 05ish up --- FB-IM Abbie Hey Matt, How are things out west? Its wet and gloomy here, but, I'm not. ;-} Hello to all, Abb Hey you! Good job on the Attitudinal adjustments! That's one of the things we have 100% control over in our lives. Miss you! saw your pics yesterday of your ride... looks like great fun, nice weather, cool people, excellent trip (i hope/assume)! - Motorcycle Trip Journal http://www.mytripjournal.com/mimcytrips Matt Perelstein Thanks for sharing, Abbs. Looks like great fun, nice weather, pretty scenery, awesome bikes and very cool people... good for you guys, in making that happen in your lives! --- 08:52 If you want to walk long, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk with a friend. - ?? how In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing and the next best thing is the wrong thing--the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt Employers Hire Potential Drinking Buddies Ahead Of Top Candidates - Forbes forbes.com Work hard, play hard, save money, live well - Sir Leslie --- 09:38 IMS what to do re: AMM --- SharePoint naming convention: SP. --- Hi ms. worry wart :) (you're right to worry, as they sure can't take care of themselves, right?) From what I understand, the white is fine... just wipe it off (and notice the beautiful colors underneath!). Altho' all our Eucs are the same variety (eucalyptus globulus) the branches offer a wide variety of colors, textures, even shapes (some are actually square). I try to give a variety in every order, not knowing what the heck the little guys are gonna take to. As far as I know, branches don't 'go bad'... they just dry out and get harder as a rock... and some gliders actually prefer 'em that way, after they're dried! thanks for the note. I think it's ok. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: white branches? From: akoenig176@aim.com Date: Fri, December 07, 2012 10:03 pm To: eucs@2gethelp.com Hello I purchased some eucs a few weeks ago for my sugar gliders and have been keeping them in the refrigerator and today I noticed some had a white coating to it? I also found it odd that in the box it had two pretty green sleek branches and some had different colors and stuff. Is that ok? And when do I tell if it goes bad? And if its bad and the gliders eat it, what is the worse that can happen? Also just a suggestion if you can put on your site what fresh plants look like and bad plants for worry warts like me. Thank you for your time =] --- The most beautiful people we have know are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. (from pic \~stuff\BeautifulPeople.jpg) --- 10:30 order labels (16x, but 2 or 3 are replacements!) printed 260x EP RA labels, 10 Zoo to's PP = 2692 +16 orders -117 USPS -200 PR -20 Amnesty Int'l -15 New Asia, SF, CJ's bye-bye luncheon Youde, Franco, Dong, Pete, CJ, and I nice (tho' don't think CJ really wanted to do it...) --- Charlene J. commented on What tools can be used to evaluate the level of EQ in a husband-to-be? I really like "playing victim draws the attention of those filled with sympathy, but not those with empathy. " I have not thought in those terms before. Yes, sympathy seems to imply the sympathizer has some wholeness the one sympathized with does not and yes that does arc back into the opposite: antipathy. Empathy has implicite equality it seems, from that point of view. Very helpful. Thank you! ------- mcp ----- playing the victim draws the attention of those filled with sympathy, but not those with empathy. --- 11:04 Jo Ann Allen-Ives http://www.forevermissed.com/jo-ann-a/#about 40 years old Date of birth: Feb 2, 1971 Place of birth: Norwalk, California, United States Date of passing: Apr 18, 2011 Place of passing: Fresno, California, United States --- Talked to Scotto! Kwalk Kwak beer, yummy! ginger bread houses, pre-assembled, for each team - Daisy Bec. of no bonuses I'm concerned that this I'm not sure you're aware that, severe lack of enthusiasm 1:53 (to IMS party committee) Hey you guys… I’m concerned about our lack of enthusiasm around this party. I believe it was meant to improve morale, but a party with no heart, no spirit, and no cash could serve to dampen morale, rather than improve it. At this point, I might even suggest we take the $4k budget, split it up, and give everyone a $100 gift card… something people can use, and appreciate… especially since there have been bonuses given in past years that don’t seem to be happening this year. Let’s have some fun it, and fire up the troops a bit with games and prizes (and cervezas). Will there be a raffle, photos, contests… what was decided after our last brainstorming meeting? How about we do a 1-page flyer… with some holiday spirit and cheer … that we can send out on Monday, and post up around the office? I’m happy to help wherever I can. Daisy, as the most senior member of our committee, what do you think? - Matt --- 2-3 LBL got printed letter form working with variable months, employees, and BW/MO yay me! - (Davina, Gail, Helen, Bill) Hi. I'm proud to announce that, in addition to the single and batch emails, Effort Letters can now be printed, based on: - Month - BW/MO - Timekeeper - Employee Rather then choosing a different report for each month, or a different report depending on whether you want only 1 employee or all, and then having to type in Davina's name, and the BW/MO each time... now these choices can be made using specific dropdown lists on the reporting form. Make your choices (which are defaulted to the most relevant options), hit the new button, and the Event Letters is/are shown, applicable to the dropdown items chosen. Someone's still in PAD, so I can't move it over to production yet, but feel free to go into the PAD_Tester version and check out the new and improved Reporting form. Let me know your feedback (good or bad). Thanks. - Matt - 3:56 3 more things in this new version (V.2012.3a): It only prints effort letters for employees who have some effort/account info to report It never shows blank account info or 0% effort The % effort and account numbers now line up nicely, vertically - Matt --- 3:11 What keeps your hope alive? http://www.linkedin.com/groups/What-keeps-your-hope-alive-75300.S.191177848 I keep my hope alive by believing, with all my heart and mind, that EQ (when added to IQ) is the key to what's missing in the world -- awareness, understanding, empathy, empowerment, compassion, communication, purpose, common sense and personal decency! If we can teach the world EQ, I believe we just might have a chance. --- Sponsored Heaven for Ms. San Diego! $50 pics http://jquiban.wix.com/heavenleigh#!gallery/albumphotos0=6 Robin Skrzypek Marketing Manager - Life and Health Direct: (916) 853-3402 Email: skrzypekr@bankrateinsurance.com Bankrate Insurance More Sales. Less Hassle. --- 5:05 Karen, Bill Hi Karen, Ok, I'm into the app, and I see where and how the BG Numbers are assigned. I was surprised to find a finite list of BG Numbers in a table, with a checkbox for "Assigned" next to each. There are many starting with 12-XXX(00), but no 13's. The next 12 to be assigned is 12-104(00). Did you want me to add some 13's, so you can assign some to next year, or is there a special process for this? The code is ready to ask, and assign next year's BG number rather than this year's. It' in Pod Bio TESTER, when we're ready to give it a try. - Matt --- 5:07 to the house for seafood dinner and a movie, and pause (cleaned re-taped doggie door at the house swept back porch, as it had kittie litter soaking up spilled gas from generator --- 06:45-8 sorting, cutting 2 hefty bags and a huge branch all fulla banana left I/we 'collected' after last week's storms. Some's too far gone already, but much is not. doing Matt Perelstein What Belief Systems (bs) do you have about being left, or unlovable, or misunderstood, that keeps the pain so fresh and alive? What words do you tell yourself to describe your pain, and loss, to yourself? Most of your life is going well, excellent in fact, but one area is not. ok. work on that area... but know it's "only feelings", and we know how to deal with and process feelings... as well as the underlying bs that keeps them going. Explore a bit with us, please Miles. luv ya, bud --- 08:13 Hi Cameron, I received your order for fresh Euc Leaves and Branches -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Any special requsts? I've got beautiful, mature, banana-leaves right now, blown down from the storm last week, that I cannot usually reach. I'll also send some of the new growth, oval leaves, so you can try both, ok? And I can do branches up to 3' long, if you'd like some longer ones. I assume you want the leaves left on the branches, tho' some bird-owners prefer 'em clean, dry and straight. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- What doesn't kill you makes you stronger What doesn't kill you CAN make you stronger, or it can make you a powerless, feel-sorry-for-yourself victim. it's completely your choice. - Work for a cause, not applause [We do!] Live life to express, not to impress [ We do!] Don't strive to make your presence noticed, make your absence felt. [We try!] Humility is a virtue [Absolutely!] Posted by Esperanza or Hope Reynolds --- LI-EIN 12/25 What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? @Oran, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger........" Actually, what doesn't kill you CAN make you stronger, or it can make you a powerless, feel-sorry-for-yourself victim. it's completely your choice. @Alia, • "If you want to walk long, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk with a friend." I've heard that quote before, and it's intriguing to consider... but I don't really get it. How would you relate this to EQ/work/life? Katherine Gordy Levine commented on Punishment useful or a dirty word? Ray, I like the reframes to challenge and clearly you are a super teaching. But my contrarian self also says some things are problems - the kids aren't, but some things are and the reframes in some cases hurt the kid. The word challenge implies something you can overcome, but some things you cannot overcome. Think of blindness. And yes, I know Helen Keller is a lesson to all of us, but her blindness and deafness was compensated for, plus she had a great teacher and the family had lots of money. So she could compensate for her blindness. I have mentioned before that I am both dysgraphic and dyscalculic. My brain cannot hold onto number facts, when I look at a column of numbers they jump around, reverse, some jump off the page. Cannot remember spelling or grammar rules, but word process has been a great help. Still I have to edit, re-edit, re-edit, wait and edit again. I have compensated but for me both are problems, not challenges. I was very fortunate to have good teachers, parents who let me learn all I could the way I could. I for one want what I have dealt with seen as problems, not just challenges. I am proud of where I have come, but saddened by where I might have been and the energy it takes to keep moving ahead. Now I sound like a cranky old lady, but it is the end of the day. And this is a minor rant, but I also know many who would like a problem called a problem if it is big enough to limit what they can eventually accomplish. A rose is a rose isn't it. Staying strong. - Elly Taylor commented on The issue of trust I believe a person's capacity for trust depends on their attachment style. Securely attached individuals are more likely to trust. When Bowlby and Ainsworth etc. discovered this originally it was thought our attachment style was fixed for life. Neuroplasticity research now, thankfully, tells us differently. Knowing a person's attachment style gives us clues about how we might go about building trust with them. - Elly Taylor commented on If you have a "negative" team member, will EQ change that person? Question came up in a course today - my answer is below... what's yours? I'm joining in late, but I hope I can provide a different perspective. As a relationship counsellor one of the first things I am looking for in my clients is their attachment style (secure, preoccupied, dismissive, fearful). This gives me information on how to relate best and build trust between us. Securely attached individuals are easiest to work with (and are likely to have a higher EQ), others may need to be worked with differently to get the most out of our professional relationship. Most of us aren't even aware of our attachment style, but there are clues. In a team management situation, I imagine it's even more beneficial to know how to work with different styles. --- Lincoln and leadership http://www.economist.com/news/business/21567341-outsiders-can-make-best-leadersand-also-worst-lincoln-and-leadership Abraham Lincoln now regularly tops historians’ lists of the greatest American presidents. But he owes his greatness partly to the fact that he was an outsider on whom no sensible man would have bet. He made a series of bold moves—such as sending ships to supply Fort Sumter, thereby forcing the South to fire the first shot of the civil war—that his more experienced rivals might not have made. And he gave a series of nation-defining speeches that nobody else in the country could have delivered. - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Punishment useful or a dirty word? Katherine, We all have a choice as to how we want to look at things. Ultimately, that's our choice alone to make. And I certainly don't pass judgment on how other choose to look at things. I don't like a lot of things teacher for example do with kids, largely because I suspect it's only making things worse instead of better, not only for the kid, but the teacher him/herself. And people do get locked into what Alex Molnar (Changing Problem Behavior in Schools - lots of great stuff in this book) accurately called "frozen perceptions", of others, themselves, and life. (Kids do too) And often stay with those even when they don't result in improvement in their plight, or even make matters worse in some way. His suggestion, simply try looking at things in a different way that also fits the facts, or what you perceive as facts, and that might offer a different and perhaps better solution. Seeing what transpired, or what might, as simply EVENTS, or CHALLENGES and OPPORTUNITIES are just some of the many possible ways we can label what happens or might. And there can be, and often are different emotional and even behavioral consequences inherent with the labels we choose. There's a parenting program called Active Parenting that uses a version of Albert Ellis' idea, the sequence EVENT>THINK>FEEL.DO to help parents make sense out of what happens, see where they might make mistakes, and why, and to handle things better. I used to add the word PROBLEM to the end of it. For example, EVENT>THINK>FEEL.DO>PROBLEM. Lots of people think they have PROBLEMS with kids. I've always believed that you can trace any of those largely back to what others or the kids have said or done, which in turn can be traced back to how they or the kids feel, which ultimately can be traced back to how they or the kids chose to look at things that happened, or the kid did. And one of the most common things they chose to do was be quick to label it a PROBLEM, instead perhaps just an EVENT, or possibly a CHALLENGE or even an OPPORTUNITY. Their choice, but it comes down to the two questions I always ask: 1) What do you really want? (How do you want to feel? How do you want your life to be?) 2) How's it work for you to look at things the way you do now? Does it make it easier or harder to get what you want, to feel the way you want to, and to have your life be the way you want it to be? Another example of sorts is how people choose to refer to an unplanned pregnancy, often in front of children. "Yeah, Sarah was an ACCIDENT" or "Bobby was a MISTAKE". Still others might say, "Johnny was a wonderful SURPRISE". Does it make a difference which one we use? Does the one we use make a difference to the kid if he overhears us using it? I really like the quote I recently got from a Dr. Chris Eisenbarth. "Life is MIND made". And then there's my two other favorites. In case I haven't shared them before, here goes. "The problems of man are man-made. They can be solved by man" JFK "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" Einstein Posted by Ray Mathis - ---------- mcp ----------- The virtues of managing by walking around (Lincoln spent a lot of time walking around battlefields) - Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: What keeps your hope alive? @Antoinette: What keeps my hope alive? My endless dedication to what I believe in as well as what I do. Knowing that my actions are setting an example for my children (and a legacy) and that I hope they continue doing great things; as well as knowing lives can be changed for the better by what I contribute to the world. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Albert Einstein --- ?? is the length of the ----------- mcp ------------ a sign of it's importance? I should differentiate Quotes from lessons, or thoughts, too... I guess. --- 08:40 Sean Hey, would you do me a favor... a lot of my writing is crap / well, it's interesting, but only to me. Would you please just flip thru the notebook and jot down any D-Rs or Arrows or Stars, the stuff I really care about? The D-R app is due in 2 weeks, and I gotta pull it all together, pronto! thx. --- 09:21 order labels overwrote/over-printed 5x, so had to do 'em again... not being careful enuf, knowing it was risky, and uncertain. PP = 2759 --- I don't necessarily think that feelings are on a stepped continuum like this graph implies, but I do like the concept of upward spirals and downward spirals, emotionally-speaking. And I think we can have many spirals going at once, depending on the subject/issue/person/situation. The coolest part is that, with EQ, we get to CHOOSE the direction of our spiral(s)! --- 09:45 EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! No, they're too hard for me to gather. I do offer a few seeds (like 20-30) FREE with any order, but if you want more, the same kind that I have (eucalyptus globulus), you get 200-300 for only $2.50. http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html Order Eucalyptus, Eucalyptus globulus, Herb Seeds www.sandmountainherbs.com --- one is a victim, blaming, powerless, whiney, judgmental, angry, makes us feel worse, not better kinda attitude... while the other is powerful, self-loving, honest, real, probably hurt or sad or afraid, and can be oh, so healing. Whatchathink? --- FB-EN (Educators Network) Deborah Havert I continue to be heartened by the wisdom of children. What insightful children we have at Synapse School! If you guide them in EQ skills they will always surprise you with their wisdom! I am hoping all of you in the EQ Educators' Network have a great day tomorrow and just take the time to listen to our children! You will always learn so much from them! Write on, Deb, the kiddos are so great, and Synapse is doing fabulous work in this area! I tell people, if you're into instant gratification, try teaching EQ! You get to see instant, and lasting results, all the time. Their little eyes light up, a smile comes across their face, "Kewl!" and off they go -- braver, stronger, less alone, more loving -- to conquer their world. I ask you, is there anything better, or more important, we could be doing, than giving the next generations the tools they need to survive and thrive, to live and give, to feel and heal?!? EQRocks! --- If you walk alone, the journey may feel long. If you walk with a friend and have your emotional needs met, then the distance will pass without notice. We are stronger and better able to perform with EQ. Posted by Rosie Barfoot --- I'm coming home, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iGNIDXUaVts --- 10:34 Matt Perelstein Good one, Ayman, thx! Do you think all EQ is underwater like this shows? And does it imply that EQ is 'bigger' than IQ? Some of our EQ shows above water, even if we don't want it to. 30 minutes ago · Like Ayman Sawaf What i liked in this picture is that emotions are mostly not dealt with and mostly stuffed inside us deep below.. the water is symbol of emotions as air is mental etc.. Sometime we describe in certain exercises in EQ.. that we need to dive in the pool of emotions all the way to the bottom where the juicy ones are vs the light one which are at the surface like anger, fear etc.. .. EQ for some can be seen to be the precursor to SQ or spiritual intelligence and merging with it thus looking far larger.. i can argue too that yes EQ is far larger than IQ... that s why the saying .. we use only 2 % of our brain which is the thinking part and deny the rest which are mostly EQ. 21 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Matt Perelstein I like the idea of diving into the pool of emotions all the way to the bottom, so we can Know/Accept/Express our feelings! Then we can use this information, together with our IQ, to make better/more informed life decisions. IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- 10:35 Wendy Cimino, Brookfield Zoo Hi Wendy, I am going to be out of town next weekend, so I'm sending you two shipments on Monday. Hope that's ok. Attached is my invoice for November's shipments. FYI: we received the check for October yesterday (yay)! Thanks. - Matt --- getting squirmy, as it's D-R time get on it (at least until 11am). it's not free-form. answer their questions. it's a PDF, so I can have links in it. Martin Seligman peeps: Roger Scott Cathleen Gloria Doc Skip --- D-R By teaching EQ to the masses, I believe we could create a foundational shift in human consciousness. by educating, directing, modeling, and create an environment for safety, learning, growth and support theory for social change EQ --> ER --> PR --> SR foundational shift in human consciousness. One person with high EQ can change an entire team/group/family! operations how to measure challenge to quantify results as they are so subjective... I'll need help in this area. - D-R >> list most powerful stats (5x?) showing dif. areas of EQ effectiveness - Mental Health - Veterans: In the last 3 years, 2008-2010, the US lost more military veterans to suicide than died in combat. VA: over 40% of returning troops have PTSD - Suicide - CABT - Physical Health - ACE study - Education - anchorage school district - Test scores - Truancy, problems, bullying - Business - Success - Bottom line - Criminal Justice - 3x as many black males in prison as slaves veterans suicide ace study anchorage school district martin seligman turning PTSD into PTG! It's about RESILIENCE (as Ray, Jane and others have said). It's not what happens TO us, it's about how we RESPOND to what happens to us... that's where our power and control lies. Dr. Martin Seligman, the director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and author of the book "Building Resilience" got a contract with the US Army to teach a 10-day EQ class to all 40,000 drill sargeants, who will then teach it to the 1.1M troops they train. His primary goal was to teach Resilience, as they have found that resilence is the #1 best way to help our troops. Rather than PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, they teach Post-Traumatic Growth... we can actually learn, and grow stronger thru the trials and tribulations of life! Interview with Harvard Business Review (HBR) re: Resilience http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html TED Talk: Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html - The mission and objectives of the organization 2GetHelp plans to change the world, from the inside out. We seek to make a foundational shift in human consciousness, and we believe this can be accomplished, thru the education and leadership using Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence is set of learned skills, focussed on teaching people to use their creative, feeling right-brain, in add it to the intellectual, cognitive left-brain training that has historically been the focus of education, to make better The key lies in Emotional Responsibility, which most people do not have, because they are unaware of the concept. “You made me mad.” vs. “I am angry at you.” “You were late.” vs. “I expected you.” Conclusion: EQ is like magic, and we have the wand! Help me use it wisely, effectively and lovingly. - report on all things EQ. Network of EQ resources, providers, caregivers, goods and services Build the most effective emotional support site ever describe 2GH and 2VH peers and pros multiple income streams provide support at home, at work, and even paid via insurance client-centered solution-based feeling-based language of feeling EQ University free: EQ-101, 201, 301 fee: EQ-102, 103, 104 healing connecting journaling posting local 2gh resources what's worked/hasn't judgments / praise grateful for / pissed about recommendations / warnings reality tv most powerful, and effective, emotional support site every created languages 2GH/2VH 2GHTC - EQ Healing/Mental Health Kids in School ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Human Resources Business and Sales ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Medical / Healthcare Success / Results ~ACE~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Prisons / Criminal Justice (see new \D-R\~mcp-D-RSteps_20121209.txt) --- lunch $20 to Bri, she owes me as she's not coming to help tonight and I won't be home next weekend, at all(!) watched (and napped) 9ers beat Miami, to stay in 2nd towards the playoffs Broncos have already clinched with 10-4 record (Payton Manning is sooo darned good.) Euc hunting with quad and doggies sunset, very nice about 26x to do --- 4:40 - 6 D-RSteps focused... nice... going well! dinner Rugby (!) surprise. 11 crash ---12.10 04:20, up espn, rugby 5-7 pack orders 7-7:30 IMSm running measures for Priya (in Czech Republic) --- Links Marshmallow Study, followup http://www.rochester.edu/pr/Review/V75N2/0305_marshmallow.html - What Hippies and Entrepreneurs Have in Common http://jimrisser.weebly.com/2/post/2012/12/what-hippies-and-entrepreneurs-have-in-common.html - Lincoln Leadership http://www.economist.com/news/business/21567341-outsiders-can-make-best-leadersand-also-worst-lincoln-and-leadership - D-R The Impact of Enhancing Students’ Social and Emotional Learning: A Meta-Analysis of School-Based Universal Interventions http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01564.x/abstract - Daniel Goleman's Best Seller, "Emotional Intelligence" http://www.morethansound.net/store/wired-to-connect/rethinking-education-educating-hearts-and-minds/prod_84.html - Unburden Your Emotional Backpack http://www.iskme.org/our-ideas/unburden-your-emotional-backpack - Public Speaking: Do Not Over Prepare http://thetrustambassador.com/2012/12/08/do-not-over-prepare/ - Harmonic Film http://vimeo.com/52711779 --- “Man learns more readily and remembers more willingly what excites his ridicule than what deserves esteem and respect.” - Horace (12/08/0065 – 11/27/0008 BC) Italian writer --- 1:45 IMS --- 2013 IMS Holiday Schedule: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 New Year's Day Monday, February 18, 2013 President's Day Monday, May 27, 2013 Memorial Day Thursday, July 4, 2013 Independence Day Monday, September 2, 2013 Labor Day Thursday, November 28, 2013 Thanksgiving Day Friday, November 29, 2013 Day after Thanksgiving Tuesday, December 24, 2013 Christmas Eve Wednesday, December 25, 2013 Christmas Tuesday, December 31, 2013 New Year's Eve - 5:10 I had the same thought about the STD acronym, Jim… in fact, it makes me smile every time I read or write it! ? I have 3 more HEDIS measures to get to match this week, and I’m getting close. I have a workshop I’m signed up for on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, so I’m determined to get these done by Wednesday, and then I’ll have Thursday as a buffer, just in case. OK for PTO on Friday? Since I’ll be staying here in town over the weekend, I’ll be able to work regular hours on Monday, 12/17. While we’re on the subject, I had written to Shruti and Lakisha re: my holiday schedule, requesting a few more days off… here are the details. We are having a family reunion at my parent’s home on New Years in Flagstaff, AZ, and we’ll be driving (4 people, 3 dogs). IMS holidays cover Monday 12/24 and Tuesday, 12/25. I’d like to WFH on Wednesday, 12/26, and we’ll leave early Thursday, so I’d like to take PTO on Thursday, 12/27 and Friday, 12/28. New Years eve, Monday, 12/31 and New Year day, Tuesday, 1/1 are IMS holidays. We’ll leave to return home on New Year’s Day, so I’d need to take PTO on Wednesday, 1/2. Since it’s a shortened week, I’d WFH on Thursday 1/3 and Friday 1/4, and be back in the office on Monday, 1/7. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks. - Matt --- Hi Melissa, Thanks for the order, but I just left home this morning, and I'll be gone until the end of next week (12/20). Can you wait a bit for your leaves?!? Sorry! - Matt --- MNF at Marin B 'Stout'-Blonde (not bad, but not great) Patriots cream Texans for only their 2nd loss of the season Broncos clinch playoff birth (10-3!) Gloria, they got a 20-day notice S-R, Bandcamp 10:00 Hi! Glad you're life isn't dull! So, about the EQ-101 show 2, I don't seem to have the video with me (and I won't be home for 11 days from now). The best I have is the Audio track from the taping, plus the rough PowerPoint. They're located on my OnlineFileFolder account, here: https://files02.secureserver.net/index.php?action=folder&folder_num=662836453 ID: matt@2gethelp.com PW: 77777 (5-7's) The audio is uncut, so the first minute or so, for example, doesn't have much of any talking, but pick out what you can. Also, we mentioned the class dae (which was months ago now), so please note any parts of the video which will need to be editing. I'm not sure if the audio gives enough info to do the PPTcorrectly, but see for yourself. If not, let me know and I'll get you the video when I get home. THANKS! You're awesome. This has been bothering me for awhile. - Matt --- PP = 2614 -41 1SC -249 USPS + some orders (which I'll fill in about 2 weeks!) --- >> get cash for Tom!! --- feet are dry, and cracking or is it 2 splinters? ouch --- Bandcamp tonight the boys have a gig this Saturday at George's. Hope I can make it after class! --- 10:32 Hey! CONGRATS on your continued success! Heck yeah, we'll be there about the same days you will... yeehaa. The Meteor Crater sounds cool. We'd like to ski one day, if there's snow. I'd also like to spend some time with M&D, asking questions, listening to stories, and maybe recording some it... they have a perspective on things, me, us, our history that I want to capture some of. Plus, I want to spend some time hangin' with you, and getting to know Mark a bit. We'll be bringing 2 grandgirls (who are excited to meet you), and 3 doggies (incl. a very large, very loving one!). Looking forward to it! Thanks for the note. - da bro -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: I was thinking about you From: wendyperelstein@aol.com Date: Sun, December 09, 2012 5:44 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hello Matt! We haven't talked in a while so I thought I would drop you a line. How's things going with your new jobs? Not driving back and forth too much I hope! I past another certification for school it was about Networking this time. There was a ton of memorization on this test but I got it OK. I should have taken it before the Security plus cert. but I was on a different track then and it wasn't required. Now I'm on to program development we're learning Java which is a full scale programing language. It should be interesting. You still going to make it to Flagg the last week or so in December? Did you have anything in mind to do while we're there? I like to take a day trip to Meteor Crater and maybe Scott knows some other cool stuff to do. We'll be heading out the day after Xmas and stay till just after New Years. I can't wait! Talk to you soon, Wendy --- 11 crash --- 12.11 05:10 up 05:28 work on mcp_D-RSteps_20121211.txt >> I don't have Word, Excel or PowerPoint on either of my laptops not good at all. (both have 2007, but LBL is Access 2010) buy MS Office 2010? ask around here's some writing I did this morning. Maybe some of it can be used for the brochure. --- D-R The Case for Emotional Intelligence http://www.6seconds.org/case/ working with Joshua Freedman, COO of 6 Seconds.org. having trained over resume I've gotta be able to highlight my experiences with people, results in class in social media all the things I've tried certs volunteer Board of Directors and Database Manager: Mendocino Film Festival Project Sanctuary 24-hour hotline, Certified with the State of California as domestic violence/sexual assault peer counselors http://projectsanctuary.org/volunteer.htm Mendocino Music Festival Salmon Restoration Association, World's Largest Salmon Barbecue many links. make sure it shows proof. must be classy powerful, yet personable. they are hiring me, and my ideas, in that order. gotta be able to read it fully and completely, and not click any links. >> make a version with NO LINKs, and review it that way, too -------------- mcp ------------- I feel focused and this is rolling off my fingers... as I imagined... awaiting inspiration! if I die tomorrow, I hope someone reads this this will be my greatest moment, and my gift to mankind don't you realize who I am? I was put here to do this work. to lead, and to lead by learning to lead, out loud. I'm kinda stupid, and kinda smart at the same time. I'm naive, and don't know much about much. I suck at working on cars... just don't get it all. I'm really not that good analytically, cognitively. I don't understand MUCh of the database stuff that I'm supposed to understand. some of these guys... damn. but I AM good at some things. I understand feelings, and behaviours, and motivations. people make sense to me. I'm the true right-right brainer. I've haven't cared that much about developing my left-brain... only enough to stay employed (thanks, Bill, for MS Access!) I chose to specialize in the easiest db/RDBMS I could find. (and it does awesome things, and everyone already owns it!) so, what's my personality? stupid yet smart about EQ. in super-learning mode... what can I/we learn about what happened. The Spin Doctor The EQ Dude Database Dude, Extraordinaire watch, as I take any situation, and turn it into a Learning experience, a Feeling experience, a Self-Examination experience. PTSD or PTG PTSD = Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTG = Post-Traumatic Growth resilency if your trauma is negatively effecting you, and YOU CANNOT STOP IT or CHANGE IT. there are unconscious BS in the way. to Get to those, to make them Conscious, we gotta ALLOW it. THAT's the hardest part... Allowing it. "It ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done." - me We CAN get thru these feelings, but first we gotta Go There. the feelings, and the BS live, buried, in our right-brain. no, I can't prove it, scientifically. but I can tell you what I've seen, and experienced. Our feelings get stuck... mostly because WE IGNORE THEM, and disrespect them, and CONSCIOUSLY STUFF THEM AWAY. because we're chicken. because they scare us. because we don't understand them. and certainly don't LIKE them. in fact, we then go about the rest of our lives Avoiding them, and denying them, and covering them, and consciously making them stay unconscious. sooo, change it. change your mind, right now, about Feelings and Emotions. Our Feelings and Emotions, our entire Right-brain, our creativity, our passion, our success and our joy all live in the same house. Open the doors. look inside. but brace yourself. 'cause that house is FULL of backed-up, unexpressed, raw, core emotion. it won't come pouring all out at once... well, it might... actually, it CAN, and you WANT IT TO. we can help you START on this path. we can open that door, together. we'll be there with you... in fact, we're opening our own doors, right beside you. if yours gets bad, reach out, we'll be there. if mine gets bad, I'm gonna do the same... will/can you be there, for me, too? we'll help you. we'll guide you. we'll go with you, into the house. let's clean house. let's re-connect little you with Big you. let's help them be friends, and Be There for each other. let's take some of the pain, and anger, that little kid experienced and Let go of it. IQ is more of me, as an adult. (hmmm...) EQ is more of me, as a kid. (yipee!!) see why the right-right brain? the #1 most important relationship we'll ever have is not you and me, it's not even me and me. it's little me, past me, younger me, with me now, older, wiser (!?!), heavier (!), smarter me, who can DO SOMETHING about stuff. it's the past me and the current me. past me can't DO anything, except feel, and see, and advise, and give input on attitude and actions. past me, goes, "HEY, we experienced this before! and it was NOT PRETTY. It felt horrible. Remember that!" then current me says, "Ok, I hear you... thanks for the warning/feeling/advise. Now I will decide what's best for me/us/you, from here." Consciously. Boldly. With ALL the valuable information we posess. we feed our IQ, by reading, learning, keeping up feel your EQ, by digging, allowing, exploring, releasing, and rejoicing! but only Current me can DO something with it all. current me is the problem. current me is the challenge. how do I make current me, how do I manage, and motivate, and sell, and coerce, and enjoy, and allow, but also discipline, and say 'no' to, and guide current me. current me is the objective. if we have a business, we're an entrepreneur. we're all entrepreneurs, selling us to the world. how'z business for you? It's not Outside us, it's inside Happiness is a choice. Want help choosing wisely? Left-brain / right-brain Thoughts + Feelings = Behaviours IQ + EQ = LOL !! Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the study of US. Who we are, how we got to be who we are, how we feel deep inside, and how we hold ourselves back, limit ourselves, and even keep ourselves in pain, because we lack EQ. In one intensive, life-changing weekend, explore the very depths of who you are, learn to RELEASE your old childhood traumas, uncover and examine unconscious underlying Belief Systems (bs) from childhood, and come out REFRESHED, rejuvinated and ready to face the world with a new, higher, deeper understanding of who you are, and how you fti into the world. Due to trauma and pain in childhood, parts of our right-brain get shut down and stuffed away... but the feelings, and the underlying Decisions/meaning/beliefs about life, and love, and family, and men, and you, STILL Effect/affect us, without our knowledge. We'll go there, together. We support each other in discovering, uncovering, and resolving issues from the past. You'll discover a side of you that you've never met... By learning EQ, you'll learn to love wisely, to turn negative feelings into positives, to connect with others like never before. Our right-brain carries: - anger - fear - pain - disappointment - guilt - shame - powerlessness - hurt it also carries: - love - joy - peace - intimicy - sex - personal power we can help you CLEAN OUT the negatives -- discover them, examine them, accept them, learn from them -- and then RELEASE them, express them, let go of them. and QUITE NATURALLY, the space will fill with Positives -- with joy, and love, and peace. Our job is to: - keep the negatives out, or if in, do the AAA process to clean 'em out (only takes a sec, when you get good at it) - have the courage to feel - have made a decision/self-commitment/intention NOT to be a victim, ever again. Victim - someone else is in charge of my happiness and my feelings. I hope they do what's best for me, so I can be ok. EQRocks - nope, I'M IN CHARGE of my thoughts, feelings, and esp. my behaviours. No one can make me feel ANYthing, emotionally, without my permission! I choose -- I have the wisdom to see my (many) choices, I have the power to modify my behaviours, and even my belief systems, so they work the best I can, for me, and those I love & care about. I am through being the victim, and finished blaming others. NOW WHAT?!? Even though I am afraid, I'm turning my anger to love, my sadness to joy, and my depression into Personal Power! Now, I Choose To Feel ALIVE!! Who or what hurt you the most? Who or what are you angry at? Who or what scares you the most? Unresolved emotional 'issues'/feelings/traumas/belief systems makes you a victim of YOU. Being afraid of our feelings, means I'm afraid of me... not good... been there, done that, hated it. changed it. there is no feeling I know of that I am not ok with. I've been there... all us 2000 grads have been there... and we're not (as) afraid to go there again. we've seen ourselves at our core... and we lived to tell the tale. "Emotional Pain is not Terminal." - Doc Downing, Ph.D., LMFT We limit ourselves and our feelings as a kid , to fit in -- to our family, at school, with our friends -- we became 'socialized'... and that's ok, that's a good thing, we all gotta get along... But there's no balance... we never allow ourselves the time to NOT LIMIT OURSELVES... to feel our feelings AS STRONGLY as our body wants to feel them (and that's a lot). All we gotta do is get outta the way and 'let 'em'. but that means 'going there'. going to the deep, dark place that you've sworn to secrecy for the rest of your days. it take courage, it takes focus, and it takes some faith... but that's about all it takes! with some courage, you CAN heal your life! You can NOT DIE at a young age, because you've been HOLDing in all your stress, for years and years and years. You can NOT LIVE IN PAIN most of your life, based on crap that happened to you in the past. F&%k them, and F&%k that! NObody keeps me from being the best I can be! NObody decides what goes on inside of me, but me! NObody can make me a victim, ever again! I am me. I feel me. I like me. I well me, and I sell me. shell me and hell me or well me and sell me - I was molested as a teen. it wasn't that horrible at the time (like so many of the stories we hear, oh my), but it DEFINITELY messed my up in later years. the core decisions I (apparently) made during and after that event, served to trash my relationships, and my view of myself and how I fit in to the world, at a core level. I didn't know that. I was clueless and unaware. "You don't know, until you know. You know?" "Sweeeet!" - Crush, the cool turtle dad, on Finding Nemo Now that I know, I can choose. now that I know, I can use that information to make better decisions. now that I know, I can be a better me. "We do the best we can with what we know. The more we know, the better our best can be." So, now, I can do it my way. I can like my way. I don't have to do life their way, my judgmental parent's way, my scared little boy's way. I can do it my way. As my wonderful friend said the other day, "I am not a survivor of abuse and abandonment and a psychotic father. I not all that. I am Gloria." For me, I believe am no longer 'broken'. I am no longer 'less than', or dirty, or unlovable, and I no longer need to carry the shame. I no longer have to Hide. Now, I can stand up and be counted. I am me. (can you say that, and mean it?) this new feeling comes from: - healing my past - uprooting, examining, evaluating, changing, re-building, habit-izing many my core Belief Systems (bs) (tho' there's plenty more to go) - coming to understand, accept, and even express myself, my feelings, my passion, my joy - internal joy, bursting to get out. - hanging around with Kiddos, and Dogs, as much as I do! - Being alone some - pushing myself - deciding that THIS is my life purpose. This is my main goal. This is what I came here for. as a kid, did you know you were destined to change the world. no. as a teen, did you know? no. as a young adult, did you know? kinda. as I found UYO, and EQ, it was starting to materialize about how important this is... and that I better get the word out there. - feeling energized - after having done this work for 25 years or so, I have come to Trust me, to have faith in me, that I will 'be there' for me, what I usually do (now), I am proud of later. I like me. I manage me. I am successful, and I feel free. EQ is great for business and academics, and even home, but to me, the most incredible aspect of EQ, is the "you gotta feel it to heal it" process, that brings UnCanny results! I have to confess, that staying calm, and business-like, is not my forte. I want to FEEL, and Express, and Jump up and Down, and Scream from the rooftops, EQ is REAL. EQ is Magical. EQ is about being Real, to the depths of our being. EQ is passion, and joy, and life. join us. we will welcome you in... I promise. examing me, writing it down, bring it to you, EQ. learn about me, share me, validates me, makes me feel good, and clean, and wholesome, and real. choose, are you a good guy or a bad guy? do you hurt, or help? why are YOU here, among us? what's your offering to the world. You get, do you give? who you is and where's you goin'? I'm finding me, to share me. I'm building me, to get results. I'm creating me, 'cause I have nothing better to do. ... and the me I created is a save-the-world kinda guy. --- MFF: we do NOT need to make a profit. sometimes I feel the emphasis is more on us, than them. of course we're gonna use the gym, that way more people can see what they wanna see. we sold out the biggest venue we had, more than once. we have a bigger venue at our disposal, go. of course it needs to not LOSE money, but that's unlikely. do we advertise in Sac and the Bay Area? we're a non-profit, so we should be able to place free ads here and there. even Announcements, not ads. we should have a list, we fire off press releases to. or hire a service to do it, they're not expensive. but best would be to do it ourselves, even automate it some database dude should do that, tho, huh? 07:50 sent to Gloria --- >> when I merge \~stuff folder, DO NOT OVERWRITE, merge 'em. >> bring good headphones to SR --- 08:30 no more bus, opened door, but then denied. walked over 2 freeways to Lucky Dr., bus, back 10 work do photo frames? yes, but not yet. --- Bus Routes/schedules to San Rafael SF Financial District (Fremont between Mission & Market) Terra Linda Bus Pad (Hwy 101 at Freitas Pkwy) 58: 4:34, 5:10, 5:40 5:25, 6:01, 6:31 44: 5:10, 6:09 6:08, 7:07 54: 7:05 8:00 http://goldengatetransit.org/schedules/current/route_58.php http://goldengatetransit.org/schedules/updates/route_44.php http://goldengatetransit.org/schedules/updates/route_54.php --- Murphy's Pub Moose Drool ($4.50 HR, nice) and garlic fries ($7.25, wow) --- my story is that I am unhappilied married, and it's not my fault. there's nothing I can do, I'm a victim, and a loser, in an unhappy, sexless marriage of convenience how is my story working for me? oh, I'm auditioning for someone to step up and be willing to take care of me. learned helplessness, Paula called it. so true. I have to be at work about 10am tomorrow. it's 8pm now. nothing stands between me and 10. d-r brochure. just get 'em done and off your plate. brochure first. got it, go... --- ND brochure wording, old: Learn to live a life filled with joy and purpose. Create your future as you imagine it should be. Move past your fears and resolve the pain and anger of abuse. Use the emotional tools you will learn to change the way you think and take emotional responsibility for your life. With more than twenty years of experience and training, we can help you learn to become emotionally competent. New Directions is a loving and confidential environment where you can have a life changing experience. We are committed to capturing the sense of relief, hope, connection and inspiration that is so much a part ofthe decades of New Directions tradition. The Workshop Experience Learn what values and belief systems are holding you back. Examine and heal the pain and abuse from your past. Overcome your fear. Heal and connect with loving people in a non-judgmental, supportive community full of love, joy and happiness. Be a part of the growing community emotional intellects! Pictures of past workshops & graduations. Every new graduate is invited to our closed, confidential Facebook site where participants feel free to share in confidence, their hopes, their dreams, their loves, their issues, their struggles, their wins and their loses. together, we can get thru anything. Join us on Facebook:Facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop Experience ex•pe•ri•ence [ik-speer-ee-uhns] The totality of the cognitions given by perception; all that is perceived, understood, and remembered • The power of emotional release. • How to connect with loving people. • The emotional tools you need to improve your life. • Learn from and heal your past. • Take control of your life. • Completely confidential. info@NewDirectionsWorkshop.com To find out more about this powerful experience New Directions Workshops makes a commitment to every paying first time student to have the opportunity to return to our workshops as a student assistant as often as you would like to continue to learn, discover and grow. This is at no additional change to the student assistant. New Student $400 Returning Student $250 Student Assistants Free! Make this your You Tube stuff --- --------------- mcp --------------- Together, we can get thru anything. - mcp --- 8:18 Doc, Sue Would you be willing to share your EQ exercises?! How about writing them up, or copying them out of TCOYL... make one PDF of each, then categorize them, and let's provide/sell/share them, ok? Sue, how's it going getting TCOYL on smashwords? Need some help? EQ is taking off... and Doc, you STILL have some of the most grounded, practical, easy-to-remember, profound teachings out there. Feelings, and Belief Systems, really are the key to mental health, and we MUST let others know these simple, life-changing, FREE concepts and skills. I'm going to a Landmark Forum weekend this week. They have over 1.3M grads, so I'm VERY interested to see what they have to say/teach/experience. I'll let you know what I learn. Hopefully, it'll help me make things happen better. - Matt --- brochure --- 8:30 PKP Hi. We discussed setting up an auto bill-pay for the $350 due to Tom the first of each month. Here's the address: Thomas O'Callaghan Professional Painting Services 57 Joseph Ct. San Rafael, CA 94903 415-459-4125 Let me know when you get that XRG check in the bank, as I need to withdraw funds today. It's the 12th, and the rent is due on the 1st. Thanks. - me --- 8:36 Swenson Thanks for staying up on this, Elizabeth. It wasn't right for me to just dump it on you, when it's my prob. So, I asked someone else to give it a shot, and we'll see what we can come up with. I'm outta town until the 20th, so I should be by to pick up the DVD then. We'll get 'er done. Best wishes on your surgery! - Matt --- ND Brochure wording The power of the intensive group workshop 3 days will not solve every problem, possible benefits of immersing yourself in a 3-day intensive workshop Day 1 Know 3 Steps to Healing our Feelings 1. Know 2. Accept 3. Express Day 1: Know Create a safe enough environment that you can go inside, find your inner child, and get to know her or him. Who we are now, is a product of thousands of tiny decisions and experiences, plus some real Whopping traumatic events, along with the Decisions and Belief Systems (bs) that we create, in order to try to make some sense of the world. Know that feelings are ok. Know that people are gonna be there with you. you don't have to know how (yet), you just gotta allow it, and have the courage to face it, and blast thru it... we'll help you, and show you how. Know WHAT you feel. Be able to IDentify feelings... because sometimes they're tricky... you think you're angry, and hurt, but then you find out there's sadness, and fear, underneath it all. But the good news is that it's gonna be ok. They're all just feelings, and we know how to DEAL with feelings! Know that you feel. Know that you can feel, and it's ok. "Emotional Pain is NOT Terminal!" We'll get thru this... we always do. ...and sometimes (often) we feel more than one feeling at the very same time. We can be both sad, and angry, together. We can easily be happy, yet cautious (afraid), as well. Day 2: Acceptance You feel angry, you feel frightenetd, you're sad, you're guilty, you're happy, you're joyous, you're silly, you're sweet, you're a jerk, and you're you. accept it... all of it. You don't have to like it, and you can definitely want to CHANGE some of it... but still Accept it... all of it. all of you. Accepting our Feelings = Accepting Ourselves! If you know what you feel, you'll know who you are, what you want, and what's most important to you. It only takes a sec to accept. the time it takes for a thought, a decision, a new perspective, a new, heightened reality. be real. be honest, at least with yourself. if we don't ourselves, if we don't understand and accept ourselves, who's gonna? Who's running your life, while you're off telling yourself stories about how bad you have it. Who's in charge in your body? if you don't go back and discover/uncover/unpack/allow/release/heal some of your past, you can't really know yourself very well. do you realize what's there? It's the beauty and joy, and wonder, that little you USED TO HAVE! maybe your childhood was horribly painful, and dysfunctional (like so many people). or maybe it was just painful, without being very dysfunctional (like mine). it doesn't matter. the stories don't matter to us, not one bit, except to understand and appreciate who you are, what you've been thru, and how it felt/stuck/was experienced by you, big you, little you, we don't care. it's still you. as long as you're not actively lying/hostile/defensive/threatening to the group, we'll PROBABLY love you. We do this thing we call Instant Intimacy. when we meet you, boom, you're in... until you prove otherwise, you're in. you are now a life-long friend, for real, starting now... forever more. I/we have gobs of life-long friends. I love, and am loved, by a LOT of people (and I love that about this work). it's about love, for love, around love, because of love, creating love, teaching love, giving love, receiving love, and loving ourselves and our lives the entire time. EQ is Love. Love is EQ. I love EQ. EQ loves. EQRocks! denial, blame, victim, powerless, poor me... none of that helps. Power, clarity, intellectual AND emotional intelligence (IQ + EQ), balance, mastery, attraction, love are those who you are? (they sure are who I are!) :) Do day two Exercises Day 1 We introduce ourselves, give 3 purposes of the weekend and We share, from the heart, why we're here do this, helping out, digging in, cleaning out, opening up, connecting, crying, loving, living then You share, why are you here, how can we help, your goals for the weekend. Inner Child Visualization: We take you on a guided journey back, as far back as you can into your childhood, so you can experience what it was like for you, as a young child... how did you feel, how did you see the world., what your mom and dad were like get to know you, see the world through the child's eyes... once you see it his/her way, it makes your whole life make so much more Sense. of course, based on the child's experiences, of course you're afraid of men. or you feel you don't fit in, and will be rejected. or you're not worthy, feel less than, ashamed, dirty, broken. we can KNOW what that child went thru, you, what you decided about - who you are - how you fit into the world - your 'place' in your community/family/team Empathy is one of the top 3 most important EQ skills. and true Empathy starts with Self-Empathy! care about you, as a child, you're care about yourself. bash that kid with verbally abusive self-talk, and you will feel bad about yourself forever more. judge and blame and feel disgusted toward him/her/you, and nothing and no one can fill the hole, and people will give up trying to make you happy. BUT, cut the kid some slack... understand him, let him express, let him feel, and allow what his poor little body has been carrying around for 10-20-30-50 or more years, killing off parts of your body, heart, mind and soul. LET THE KID FEEL WHAT HE FEELS! Our job, as emotionally supportive adults, is to Make Space for the little child to feel, to truly FEEL, and release all the crap. To live, and breathe, and smile, and dance, and laugh. let go of "Feel and Release" the negatives (like Catch-and-Release in fishing), and Day 3: Expression Here we go. This is where "the rubber hits the road". It's time to dig in and get those feelings out. The exercise we do to help with this process is called The Statement of Direction. The Statement has been carefully designed to: - help you identify, separate and experience each emotion - show you that you can, in fact, control your emotions... actually manage is a better word. You FIND a feeling inside you, identify it, touch it, and then just ALLOW yourself to kinda fall into it. The good news is that it's a gentle fall, and you can catch yourself, and pull yourself back out of the feeling whenever you wish. The power, the freedom, the confidence that creates is often uncanny. People are like, "Wow, I had no idea I could let myself feel sad, or angry, and then just let it go, and off it goes. Feel it to heal it. Wanna feel better, feel worse, first. If we want to release the pain, we have to feel the pain, first, and then, once acknowledged and allowed, it kinda just goes away, all by itself. It's difficult to really feel, deep down, with the same intensity and depth, twice or thrice in a row. Once we feel something about something, we feel better about that something... it's kinda magical. Feelings want life, they want respect, they want acknowledgement, or they'll scream louder, and more often, until they take over and you have no choice. Our feelings are there FOR US. They teach us, they show us what we care most about, they have super valuable life-lessons contained inside them... if we'll just look, and listen, and allow, and understand. We don't have to go to the depths of despair over every issue we've ever had... but we do have to work thru the big ones. and really, I find nowadays that I want to dig in there. I want to learn from little Matt. He's been one of my best teachers, ever. He's my hero, and my mentor... I have learned so much from him... there's an honesty, and a glow about him, that I try to carry with me wherever I go. He had a very real smile, that I strive to reproduce whenever and wherever possible. I strive to be happy, to think happy thoughts and to feel happy, and joyful. I work with my belief systems (bs), and 'spin' them until they work best for me. If something goes wrong in my life, I figure out how I may have created that, and what/how I can do it different next time. I don't beat on me (like I used to), I actively encourage me, I like my thoughts (mostly) and my feelings (I find them fascinating). I like people and I seek out conversations, relationships and even life-long friendships... why not? I don't have anything better to do. So what is happy? joyful free peaceful serene confident solid hopeful grateful love power control ? those are all different, and all the same. they differ in that we can feel one without the other. they come from dif. thoughts, and belief systems. (insert Purposes of the Statement) Then we have folks, one-at-a-time, "do" the statement. you get a chance to feel, at your own unique 100%, each of the different feelings, in turn we help you, in fact, the group will be there for you, just you, to help you, to encourage you, to accept you, to have empathy for you and to love you... so you can begin to love yourself. - differentiate - manage/control - expand the acceptable limits of your emotions (which allow a fuller, richer, deeper, more colorful, more passionate life experience!) - allow, then let go of feelings (we call it the 'e-ticket' roller-coaster ride) - get a glimpse of a different side of you that you probably have never met - build a trust in yourself to manage your feelings better, leading to more trust, courage and self-esteem >>create a 10-pager brochure, that's downloadable people can give their email to sign up for >> create an ebook EQ-101, that they sign up for >> sliloh - add the Tour to testimonials page - big link on home page - Make an Above-the line page, that scrolls down boxes - recorded calls - radio shows - video interviews - see on tv, training, interview on Fox TV ND Brochure We like people. We like feelings. We like to experience our feelings, and we can relate and connect when other people dig in and express their feelings. We laugh in class, a lot. It helps. In fact, it's a feeling, we're about experiencing our feelings, so laughter, and happiness, and joy count, loads! we have a bumper sticker that says, "You're Taking This Life Thing Way Too Seriously". Knowing that we control our destiny.... knowing that I can make myself as happy as I want, or as miserable as I want, based on my thoughts, feelings and belief systems, gives me PERSONAL POWER, and a sense of CONTROL over my life that I've never felt before now. Taking control of our feelings = Taking Control of our Lives! Oh, and you don't need us to do any of this. you can do it all at home, by yourself, or in your car, or in a field, or wherever. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO DO EMOTIONAL HEALING WORK! It's more fun with others, and it gives a sense of connection, community, commaradarie and compassion that it truly awe-inspiring... but the reality is that YOU will be doing the work. You have all the tools you need inside of you, to make this happen, and to live a feeling-centered lifestyle from here on. In fact, you could decide RIGHT NOW, that you will give a new respect and honor to your own feelings, to know that our feelings really are US, and they are super-important to our continued success and health in life. We'll be here, if you want some help, but you really don't NEED us to feel... all you need is courage... and there's plenty of that, right? After care: This is a tough part, because it's mostly up to you. We offer as much as we can (and it's almost all free), but you have to reach out: - a super-loving and supportive support group on Facebook, for ND grads only - a bi-weekly support group phone call - online resources and social media connection via our websites, plus facebook, twitter, blog, email series of tips, quotes, lessons, research and more In Fresno, CA: - weekly in-person "Huge Group" therapy session run by Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT - Doc is also available for in-person individual therapy for PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and Relationship issues --- "The ingredients of prosocial behavior, from kindness to philanthropy, are more complex and varied. They include the ability to perceive others’ distress, the sense of self that helps sort out your own identity and feelings, the regulatory skills that prevent distress so severe it turns to aversion, and the cognitive and emotional understanding of the value of helping. Twin studies have suggested that there is some genetic component to prosocial tendencies." - Perri Klass, M.D. yeah, and it prosocial behaviour can be taught, too. those 'abilities' are all learnable skills. --- 11ish, bed heater off, only a long-sleeve shirt on (brr), lights off, laptop asleep, Frazier paused on Season 1, Episode 23 --- 12.12.12(!) 05-6 wrote ND wording (above) *and nothing else. no email, no work, no LI-EIN, just focussed mad writing. I'm having trouble writing it short, so I'm starting by writing it long then I'll try to sum it up --- LI-EIN ------------- mcp ------------ Empathy = "voluntary behavior intended to benefit another" (!) - Mirror M. commented on Have you seen two perpetual liars in the same room? "OH, thank you, thank you, Ms. Inskeep! So…it was adrenaline rush that was driving those perpetual liars. I had noticed that they were ... "more… "OH, thank you, thank you, Ms. Inskeep! So…it was adrenaline rush that was driving those perpetual liars. I had noticed that they were not always doing it out of greed to gain something. They would lie and break promises even when it was not in their interest to do so. But if it was adrenaline rush, then it must be like drug to them. No logical sense, but just an addiction. Those girls who are in relationship with a perpetual liar are wasting their lives trying to change their men, I see that now. Thank you very much again. Warm regards - Ioanna S. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hello everyone! ... "more… "Hello everyone! Greetings from Greece and thanks for the invitation :) My name is Ioanna Sarli, I am Geologist working in the sector of Civil Protection. I am interested in Positive Psychology, Law of Attraction and the ways they affect our lives. I believe that EI is very important because it helps us improve our personal and professional life. I am excited to be part of this great group and looking forward to learn more. Thanks in advance to all of You! " --- 06:28 http://holistichealthdaily.com/how-you-give-anxiety-to-yourself/ Holistic Health Daily Daily Holistic Health News, Tips, Trainings, Articles & Videos HomeAbout Curation & Excerpting PolicyArticles A Major Problem With Self HelpAn Introduction to Spiritual TechnologyDeep PEAT and Deep PEAT III/IV (Primordial Energy Activation and Transcendence)Deep PEAT Description by Zivorad M. 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I bet you didn’t know you do it. I suspect you didn’t even know you could do it. So I thought it might be useful to tell you how you give anxiety to yourself. I bet you though anxiety showed up in your life because… take your pick… they didn’t do what they said (s)he said this about me my boss doesn’t understand my boy/girlfriend just won’t stop doing that my boy/girlfriend won’t do this my parents keep expecting… my children will never learn how to… I don’t get paid enough I don’t get the respect I deserve the government is doing this wrong the government is doing that the economy capitalism or communism (depending on the person) the conservatives say the liberals say the religious say this group believes etc, etc, etc… You could go on and on about what specific thing you believe causes the anxiety in your life. And what I am about to say, you may use to make yourself anxious… BUT… It can also delight and surprise you and give you hope. How You Give Anxiety To Yourself It is not ANY of the things listed above that give you anxiety and it is not anything you think is causing your anxiety. How you give yourself anxiety is not about what you think, it is how you think. It is not what happens in the world or to you that creates stress or anxiety.,It is how you ADD MEANING, otherwise know as how you interpret what happens and your relationship to that made up meaning that determines whether or not you give anxiety to yourself or you give peace to yourself. So what is it that you do so fast that has you give yourself anxiety without even knowing it? Here is what you do and the reason you don’t know you are doing it is because it is happening so fast. Faster than your conscious awareness goes. You have thousands and thousands of pictures running through your mind in your visual field and the reason you seldom see them is they are moving at the speed of light. Which is 186,000 miles a second or 700 million miles an hour. To consciously see one you have to slow a specific picture way down enough to bring it into conscious awareness. Here I’ll help you… Tell me right now… What would your living room look like with all the furniture moved over to the left wall? OK, here is another one. What is in the back seat of your car? To give an answer to either one of those questions you had to slow the pictures down in your head to see the living room the way it is and then with furniture all moved to the left wall and you had to picture the back seat of your car. In a matter of seconds you slowed down two of your pictures and created another (all furniture to the left wall). You are way more powerful than you think. Especially if you learn how to train your thinking. Now just having your pictures moving through your head at the speed of light is not how you give yourself anxiety. That comes in based on your internal dialog about the pictures in your head. And why do you miss what your self talk is saying? Because it is moving at the speed of sound, which is about 1,100 ft per second. And that is still faster than your conscious awareness can compute. How you feel depends on what you are saying to yourself about the pictures that are going through your mind. AND it is usually going on outside your conscious awareness. So how you give anxiety to yourself is you say things to yourself about the pictures in your head that equate to fear and not getting what you want, that you are not aware you are saying them. So, what to do? SIMPLE AND EASY Take whatever feeling you are feeling, stress, anxiety, fear, sadness and before you judge it, ask yourself, “what thought must I be thinking to have this feeling?” Just curiously asking the question will soften the intensity of the feeling, maybe not that much but any relief is relief you didn’t have a second ago. When the thought comes, it will have that spin on it that doesn’t feel good. It will feel negative. Simply as another question… “Did I make that up? Is it really true?” The actual answer to Question 1 is 100% YES and the answer to Question 2 is 100% NO. As you continue to play this little game or do this simple exercise you will have less and less experiences of those emotions that you do not want and when they do show up they don’t stay very long at all. And that is how you give anxiety to yourself and how you take it away. If you’ve ever been anxious share and send this to everyone you know. When you subscribe we will send you this FREE Special Report on "Does The Secret Work" and send you our Web magazine "Balanced Living Magazine" with advice from our Experts Panel. Your name…Your email address… Related posts: Anxiety Can Trigger Pain Black Friday On Happy Wednesday Because Of Anxiety Thursday Meditation Techniques For Anxiety Anxiety and Physical Pain In Children Mental Training Reduces Anxiety Categories: Anxiety - Tags: anxiety, anxiety relief, beliefs, creating anxxiety, how you think, stress, stress relief Leave A Comment... Cancel reply Name * Email * Website Get The Complimentary Special Report... Does The Secret Work by filling in your first name and email address below. Name: Email: We respect your email privacy Powered by AWeber email marketing Get Your FREE Clearing Audio Today! Kindle Three Systems of Medicine Video Series Get your set of 57 videos that describe the 19 distintions between the Three Systems of Medicine NOW! Please fill in your 1st name and your email address and as soon as we confirm your email we will send you the links. Name: Email: We respect your email privacy Email Marketing by AWeber Have you ever asked the question self healing uses how much energy? I bet you never did and yet self healing really is energy healing at its best. Everything is made of energy and self healing is the moving of energy in a good way so as to restore balance and flow to your system. [...] Read more » Recent Posts How You Give Anxiety To Yourself Healthy Food Favored over Vitamin Supplements by Nicky Warner Signs Of Anxiety Taking Over Your Life (SAD) Social Anxiety Disorder : Who needs it? 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If you walk with a friend and have your emotional needs met, then the distance will pass without notice. We are stronger and better able to perform with EQ. --- 6:43 , orders abagale235@gmail.com money request gift We've sent your invoice 20111019-APS. did Ryan Ferguson, and Mindy Lawson, but not Carin Wolfe or Randi alexandra cho vase leaves MA, 3x (not yet!) Theresa Chambers 84 Bond Street Westminster, MD 21157 1L (use this address) Karen Hodge PO Box 203664 Austin, TX 78720 (use this address, and seeds) Amy Mitchell c/o Laura Bondurant 2812 Tulip Lane Vinton, VA 24179 Kim Sandak 1L ROUND kymmie61@gmail.com 2346 Druid Rd. East Clearwater, FL 33764 Deborah Bezler smoother young sticks for 2C Anna Melicher Catherine West Sarah Edwards - URGENT! Harry Cawthorn 1L Seeds Amanda gift, card Amathea B, no CS deborah bizier smooth branches Jennifer Gerlack S, not CS Jude Jett 1503 Indiana Ave. Louisville, KY 40213 1L* ,Starter I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working most of this week, so I won't be able to ship your order until Friday, Dec. 20. I hope that's not too late for you. I'll send you a nice variety of leaves, chew sticks and a branch, plus care instructions. Any special requests? Thanks again. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com , Leaves I received your order for fresh Euc Leaves -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working most of this week, so I won't be able to ship your order until Friday, Dec. 20. I hope that's not too late for you. Any special requests? Eucs grow oval-shaped leaves while young, then when they're about 15-20' tall, the leaves become banana-shaped from that point on. Do you have a preference for oval or banana leaves? If this is your first time ordering, I'll send both, so you can see which your pets prefer. ok? Thanks again. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com , Chew Sticks I received your order for fresh Euc Braches -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working this week and next, so I won't be able to ship your order until Friday, Dec. 20. I hope that's not too late for you. Any special requests? Euc Chew Sticks are short, straight, thin, clean sticks... but I could also send you a 'branch' which is thicker, longer (up to 2'), and has leaves on... which would you prefer... I could send you either or both? Thanks again. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com 'Branches I received your order for fresh Euc Branches -- thanks! Unfortunately, I am outta town working this week and next, so I won't be able to ship your order until Friday, Dec. 20. I hope that's not too late for you. Any special requests? You asked for 1' branches, but since you have to wait, I can send you 2' branches instead... sound good? Thanks again. Sorry for the delay. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com PP = 2719 --- 07:09 Pic of Ray and Joni's old place in Dunn Loring Yep. Good memories, of Barney and Lou Ella sitting at the kitchen table, with the big Fury out front, and us rockin' out in the basement, playing pool! "I musta been round, that Texas town..." Yep, some of my best memories as a teen. Thanks Struttons!! --- 12.13 04:00 up to find an ATM to get rent for Tom we get $350 rent from Tom F. we pay $350 rent to Tom O'C. cool. spreading the wealth living the dream. I travel, and I work hard and I juggle a lot. but it's ok. I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm pretty darned happy, considering. I ain't issue-free, but for the most part, I walk/sit around my day with a smile (or near a smile) actively looking for good stuff. they like me at work, and keep telling me I'm doing a good job. yes, I had the easiest measures, but I got/getting 'em done. --- 06:10 EQ Quiz http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz/18 - mcp results Your Score: 18/20 Impressive. You've got a strong ability to read other people and understand what they're feeling. It's a great skill to have in a friend (and a poker player). Your score puts you in the upper echelons of emotional intelligence, yet research suggests that people can improve their emotion recognition skills with practice. So keep an eye out for our forthcoming empathy training tool, designed to boost your score even higher. --- Miles S. Matt, I have felt very close to you as well. You and Paula have been in my life for a very long time. You are right, I do generalize the rejections as well as internalize them and make them mean something about me. I am my own worst critic. I "should" on myself all the time. I feel as though I really let myself feel the feelings. All but anger. I never feel comfortable with that one. I had an encounter with Michelle (my ex) a little bit ago. She came over to pick up some of her mail as well as another item she left here at the house. Things were civil and we both kind of asked how each other were doing in our own awkward way. After she left I think I had a panic attack. I have only had one of those one other time and it was at work. I don't really understand the meaning behind it and I was hoping you or someone else could shed some light on it. --- ---------- mcp ------------- “Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life!” - Danielle LaPorte --- Never apologize for what you feel. It is okay to be sensitive. It is okay to be ..."Emotional" It is okay to to be sad, afraid or uncertain. It's okay to cry. It doesn't mean you are being negative. It doesn't mean you are weak. It takes great courage to be able to understand; Accept and acknowledge what you feel. Only then you can Face it, dis-empower it - and Let it go. Never suppress your feelings because you are too afraid of what others will "Think" of you. You can Choose to make Positive Choices. And Change your "Response-ability" to your Feelings. And Transform them into a Beautiful, Positive Power. Beyond anything you have ever imagined. You are stronger than you think. Let the Love and Peace inside you, awaken. Let it Begin to Heal you. Love yourself and have Faith in your Journey. Life is waiting ... ? © Kiran Shaikh 2012 / Back Towards Light --- 07:11 There aren’t that many parts of life we actually have much power and control over. But, one of our biggest, and most important, is that we can effectively, wisely and powerfully MANAGE our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. ... and this includes our Attitudes, belief systems, value, judgments, complaints, pain, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, grief, depression, joy, passion, Peace and Serenity. Happiness is a Choice. we can be as Happy as we want, or as Miserable as we want, anytime, day or night, NO MATTER what is going on around/outside of us! No Matter What. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for over 20 years and he came out and wasn't even angry at them. "They know not what they do." was his attitude. pretty cool. a study researched a group of new Lottery winners of >$1M, and compared their level of Happiness, to a group of Quadraplegics... and they tied! It's ALL a matter of attitude. What drives our attitudes? what's behind, beneath, and all intertwined with our Attitudes? Our thoughts, and our feelings. and what's behind those?? our (often unconscious) Belief Systems (bs) that we have been developing since childhood (whether we know it or not, whether we like 'em or not, and, if they're unconscious to you, whether you even Agree with them or not). Babies come out with super-high EQ. They feel, they emote, they cleanse, and then they forget, there's no residual because of having not had their needs met. but then we grow up, and are socialized, and told/ridiculed/beaten/not told/without positive role models/figure-it-out-yourself, and keep-it-to-yourself/feelings are a BAD thing/don't air dirty laundry/FAMILY SECRETS/I'll give you something to cry about/fear-based/shame-based/should-based/dictatorship. and sh&t happens. Bad sh&t, sometimes. and there's bad, and there's really bad. So what's the kid supposed to DO with all those feelings? a. Her/his feelings weren't Ok BEFORE the trauma. b. Now, the feelings are HUGE, and they're STILL not Ok... so what do I DO with all this?!? answers a. they get stuffed. they get denied (even to myself). they get lied about. They get mixed up with other feelings. a lot of people even create this wall where they don't let others in... or they don't let themselves out... or both. some try to Disappear, and not stand out, and not rock the boat, and just get along... 'cause that's all we're worth, anyhow... some get pissed, and self-centered, and think the world owes them. addiction mentality. separate, every-man-for-himself, survive at all costs. what's your story? what do you tell yourself? What kinda person are you? Who are you? - The Who "Tell me who the f*** are you?!?" What do you believe in? What do you stand for? What are you about? What's your game? How do you roll? ... and who with? or alone? what we do in class, is try to re-connect with that little kid inside you. and We, as adults, help HIM/HER, as a kid, to Feel and Heal! We make the safe place, but the kid's doing the work. the adult's main jobs are to: - stay outta the way! - trust the kid - trust that it will be Ok. - create/manage a safe place for him to feel - allow others to help/be there/love/accept you, as you accept you, as a kid. One of the ultimate tests of EQ is... how well do you get along with your inner child? Does he trust you? Does he like you? Is he proud of you? Do you like him? Are you proud of him? (Look what he created!) it's about healing our selves, our own journey We, as adults, help our inner child, to feel and to heal. we, as the rest of your class, are here to support, encourage, guide and create a safe spsce so you, and your inner child, can feel, and heal, together. >> insert quote on safety Success is a learned Skill. Happiness is a learned skill. Teamwork, and Communications, and relationships, and empathy, and compassion, and joy (it turns out) are all LEARNED SKILLS! --- 08:20 ferry --- D-R Obama monitizes the requirement to add EQ to hospitalization and health care >> get a link --- 2:46 off to holiday party... went well. Darts and cupcakes, and pool, and pics, and grub and B&W great timing, as LF starts tomorrow. --- 8:45 ND-G ND Testimonial Miles Scrivner What post? I guess I missed it. Thank you everyone for your support! Matt, I have felt very close to you as well. You and Paula have been in my life for a very long time. You are right, I do generalize the rejections as well as internalize them and ma...See More Yesterday at 7:31pm · Unlike · 1..Christine Helman Panic attacks...if I recall Doc's explanation...has to do with fear and anger, the panic comes from thinking in the future rather in the present. I'm sure Gay or Glori or Matt would be better at quoting him, but I would suggest that you need to be angry, but anger frightens you because what you saw growing up was out of control rage, rather than healthy anger. It is interesting that you would rather hurt yourself literally, rather than to express anger verbally and perhaps even physically in a safe and controlled environment. The fact that you were civil to her today is commendable, but it my opinion - for what it's worth - I'd wager what you really wanted to do in your head was was vent your pain and indignation at her. It feels "wrong" or suspicious to me that she would come over after what she's done. Her mail could be dropped off at a neutral location, as well as anything else she left behind. That' not a should...it's just an observation, as it seems like it was more a punishment, certainly a slap in the face, to see her again. I would have to suspect her motives. Being friends at this juncture would not be healthy. Certainly right now "civility" is probably not your best friend. What I mean by that is that civility has been your M.O.; right up there with silence, and it doesn't seem to be serving you. I am not suggesting you be abusive, but seeing her when you have been punishing yourself, blaming yourself, and hurting yourself with cutting, is probably not a healthy option. Until you can get good and angry, and express the depth of the pain you feel without turning it inward and hurting yourself, I would suggest you avoid any contact with her in the future. You need to be angry. You deserve to be angry and FEEL angry - there is a difference! Anger will allow you to draw that proverbial line in the sand and take a stand that you will NOT be a victim; that you will NOT tolerate being treated the way you have been by the two significant relationships you have had. Until you can do that, I hate to be a downer, but the chances are you will continue to find yourself meeting the same type of women. I know that sucks!! But the universe has a way of continuing to send us the same life lesson over and over until we "get it." Once you make the decision that you really don't deserve to be treated that way, chances are you will continue to accept being treated as an option rather than a priority. Right now it would be healthy for you to blame her, not yourself. It wold be healthy to vent and get fricking pissed off for what she did! She doesn't deserve your kindness right now, not until you can feel and express what you need to in order to get past making what she did mean something about you. I think being kind is a strength in itself, but there has to be balance my friend. Yesterday at 8:07pm · Unlike · 3..Glori Celis Very well said Christine Helman. What you said about what Doc says about panic attacks is exactly right. It is living in the future instead of being in the present. I agree also that Miles Scrivner I think you need to get your anger out in a safe way. You will move on much quicker if you deal with the anger. Sat group is a perfect place to deal with anger. I hope to see you there. 21 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2..Janie Monsalve Shogren Wow, Christine that was really right on!. Miles, let us know via this media if you are willing to come to Saturday group and I bet there will be a lot of us showing up to support you. (so wish Christine was still here.) Most of us have been through a devastating break up and know about the pain you are in. I hope this does not sound like a "should". You are loved no matter what you do! --- 9:12 internet's not working, very very slow, first time. good timing... working on ND brochure, which is all local. --- ND Brochure Lasting Benefits of experiencing ND: -Discover a whole new world inside each of us, a deeper, richness that can improve, and lighten every single thing you say, do or are. - Experience Instant Intimacy, where we immediately Open Up to each other, on purpose, with eyes wide open, and others to support. that way we start to learn trust, belonging and 11: crash --- 12.14 04:50 up and writing brochure wording. go, go, go... I will be sooo proud, after, it's turning out excellent! Tom went to see Celia, spending the weekend with her --- >>. write to skip --- 9:20 snooooze, Bobby knocked and woke me up, then all band came by, first time showed them the pause, below... good laugh. lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk people actually seem to like me. I look, and I can tell if I'm upsetting, or irritating them. I think I can tell. I look people in the eye, so I think that helps. I gotta be careful, too, because I can open my heart wide open, and it scares people, makes them wonder my intentions 'cause they can't/haven't/don't go where I've been. it's kindof a drag, really, 'cause the only people I 'really' get along with, that I like to hang/be around, are grads... deeper, more real, more feeling-based, and feeling-centered. we know what we feel - get a good start on getting to know, like and understand your own feelings and emotions - discover parts of you that you have never met. - Resilience: heal the pain from your painful past, learn from the trauma, and be better off because of it. - discover a depth, and a passion, and a love, buried deep inside you, that you can pull out at any time - Experience empathy and compassion - Learn to differentiate what is your problem, and what is NOT your problem - Learn to differentiate what is in Control, and to let go of those things that are not. - Learn to adjust your heart, how open you are, to whom, and to better recognize motivations, feelings and actions of others - Identify, separate and process feelings, from negative to positive - Expand your life-long LIMITS that keep your feelings stuffed down inside (which is horrible for your body, both emotionally and physically) - Experience your own deep feeling, core power and true expression - Develop hope, and optimism, and a new fire for life - Garner a new appreciation, acceptance and understanding of feelings, your own and others, too. - Discover the freedom of having good, strong, healthy Boundaries, and the tools and power to uphold them. Yes, it will wear off, if you don't continue the work after. it's uncomfortable work, I warn you now. it's not for everyone. Some feel safer continuing their non-feeling lifestyle, and that's ok. we say, "It ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done" "Emotional Pain is NOT Terminal... you WILL live thru it... and hopefully come out stronger on the other side." (shorter) - Empathy and Compassion - Discover another side of yourself - Start to like, and enjoy, your feelings - Activate your right-brain, as that's where life is! - some of the greatest lessons of life: - Happiness is a learned skill - Success is a learned skill - Joy is a learned skill - Empathy is a learned skill - Find your ability to open your heart to others, or not, it's totally your choice - You will make more sense, to you. - Others will make more sense, to you. - Feel too much negative (sadness, fear, shame, guilt, depression, anger), and not enough positive (peace, joy, power, serenity and love)? - Keep repeating the same unsuccessful behaviours, and you want to know why, and how to modify/change/stop it? - Feel stuck in a rut. - Want to heal, and release, hurt and pain from your past? - Want some powerful, effective, super-practical tools for handling yourself and your relationships with others? ND will give you the emotional tools to: - Let go of past pain and anger - Turn the traumas that have haunted you into powerful learning experiences - Fill up with joy, peace and serenity - Connect, create intimacy, share and open up (or not!) with your family and friends - Make new, healthy friends who support and encourage your happiness, growth and emotional well-being Leave the workshop with a new sense of who you are, how you became you, and how to accept, encourage and even love you AND your inner child, from here on. This is not an intro workshop, so we can sell you something bigger. This is it. This is all we do (so far). ND is about healing our past, LIVING FULLY in the present, and creating the BEST future we possibly can, together! To build, we need tools. The tools we use/teach/learn is called Emotional Intelligence (or EQ). There's IQ, our logical, book learning, left-brain that we did in school, and then there's EQ, our creative, feeling-based, passionate right-brain that is NOT taught in schools or at home. In fact, we're told NOT to feel, NOT to express, and NOT to listen to the powerful inner-voice that is us. So, we're trying to create balance -- Left-brain AND Right-brain, Thoughts AND Feelings, Knowledge AND Wisdom, Head AND Heart -- so we can make better life decisions, so we can happier, more successful, and more fulfilled, and so we can get along, create love, and joy, and relationships, so we can all live peacefully on our tiny planet. Learn a new language, as the basis for your new Emotional Toolbox: - Separate, Identify and Name specific feelings inside you (and others) so you can better deal with them, one-at-a-time - Navigate thru different feelings, not getting 'stuck' on any one, causing blockages and unhappiness - Speak the "Language of Feelings" (EQese? :) to fully speak your heart and mind, while listening, and truly hearing, others - The use of "I" messages (I feel, I want, I believe, I understand, I need, I appreciate, I am and I am not) to deepen your understanding and to get in less arguments (opinions are debatable, feelings are not) - Learn the 7 steps to 'processing' your negative feelings... uncover the root of an issue, learn from it, feel it, release it, replace it, and rejoice for your accomplishments - Understand how feelings and 'issues' are first created, what they're based up on, and what to "do" with them, once they've surfaced - Get to the Heart of the Matter We're not therapy, we're much faster! less words, more tears less $$, more joy all at once, not dragging it out for months less cognitive, more emotional less labeling, more loving less analysis, more hugs (sent) --- LI-EIN, going well. many good article, that should go to Promotions, I want to Approve, as they're Exactly what we're looking for others to learn/hear/teach John Maerz commented on Do words cause feelings/emotions or do emotions cause our words? Do you attract people/clients by our words or by the feeling behind our... "What a great topic. :-) ... "more… "What a great topic. :-) All three are different and contribute in different ways. Feelings happen only in the moment. They are the involuntary movement of energy within us. As soon as we have a feeling we separate from HAVING the the feeling and experience to thinking ABOUT it. (the mind only works within the timeline...past, present and future) This thought ABOUT the feeling is paired with the experience and creates a memory of it. This pairing in memory produces emotions. Then, when a later experience triggers the MEMORY of the feeling paired with a prior experience, emotion is triggered. (Latin emovere = ex-//out and -movere//to move) Emotion is the pairing of feeling with thought within the confines of time. Feelings are timeless and only happen in the moment. Emotions and thoughts can be controlled. Feelings cannot. So, in answer to your question, feelings come first. Then, the memory of feelings (emotions) and feelings can be triggered by words (thoughts). Through triggering both, emotions and feelings, the processing of the new experience compounds the memory creating emotional intensity. This perspective originates from the chosen belief that "I am, therefore I think." Timelessness occurs first (feelings in the moment) then thought and words (governed by a timeline). " - Petrus J. commented on Do words cause feelings/emotions or do emotions cause our words? Do you attract people/clients by our words or by the feeling behind our... "Do words cause feelings/emotions or do emotions cause our words? Do you attract people/clients by our words or by the feeling behind our ... "more… "Do words cause feelings/emotions or do emotions cause our words? Do you attract people/clients by our words or by the feeling behind our words? Jessica, this is a good question... and doesn't have a simple answer. It's like asking: What was first? The chicken or the egg? I believe that the one feeds the other. The one impacts the other. When you're feeling on top of the world, then your words will be different from the words you use when you're feeling down. However, can the quality of the words you use CHANGE how you feel (and how the people around you feel)? Most certainly YES! We have all had the experience where we feel down, or maybe even depressed, after we've had a conversation with a friend who has been complaining about something; even though you've felt great prior to this conversation. This means that: 1. words impact our feelings/emotions as well as 2. emotions impacting the words we use. Attracting clients with your words? YES! Generally people like people who are enthusiastic, optimistic and full of energy. When you use words that reflect these feelings/emotions / states of mind, then it will most certainly have a positive impact on the number of clients you attract. Please note: be sincere in your communication! Or else you'll actually repel clients. Petrus - Victor V. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hello Everyone, ... "more… "Hello Everyone, I recently moved to the Bay Area, excited to be part of the massive innovation happening in the social enterprise space here. Specifically, I am interested in using social entrepreneurship to make a positive impact in the education sector. In my opinion, one of the most immediate ways to make a difference is to start incorporating emotional & social intelligence into the curricula, and starting at a young age. I'm looking to meet some potential co-founders and business partners to create a social enterprise that can help close the education gap and help redesign our system to better serve our youth. Looking forward to connecting with you all! --- Thinking Spirits … A blog about Knowledge Workers and their Managers … Skip to contentHomeWhy this Blog?? Analyzing the PastLeverage the mavens ?The New Manager and the P-A-C http://thinkingspirits.com/2012/11/30/the-new-manager-and-the-p-a-c/ Posted on November 30, 2012 by Ather Imran It may sound nerdy but I love models and applying them wherever I can. They give me a structure to make sense of a situation and pursue a solution. I do not have to reinvent the wheel. Someone has already thought through similar situations and may have prescribed what to do. It is if I am standing clueless in a totally alien land and suddenly been handed a guide book with a map. I still have to find the way but it is much easier. A model will make me think more, skip less and act effectively. The key is to apply the correct model and be open to tweaking it. If I am starting a new team, devising strategy for a chess game, making a decision to switch jobs, evaluating how to budget the next quarter or to manage my investments, I look for a model that I can apply. This is what the organizations do. This is definitely what the researchers do. We build on what we already know and formulated rather than starting from scratch (and repeating the mistakes). Hence, whenever I am reading a book, attending a training or talking to someone who knows more than me, I am always on the lookout for a new model or a tool. I try to extract from all the details, anecdotes and discussions the underlying models and tools and add them to my armory. “I’m OK-You’re OK” by Thomas Harris is a great self-help book that makes people understand themselves and how they function. It helps them living a better life by immensely improving their personal and business communications. It’s a bit dense but classic read. My best takeaway from the book was the “P-A-C model” which is the basis for the overall framework that Thomas offers. P-A-C stands for Parent-Adult-Child (always start from Caps). Thomas says that we have three persons inside us – a Parent, a Child and an Adult. At any instant when we are thinking or communicating, it is one of these three that is in control. Ability to identify – and change – which of these three is in control of us at any instant is the key to understanding and improving ourselves. The Parent represents what we have learned from our parents in our childhood. It is a repository of all the dos, donts, rules, constraints, admonitions and expectations of acceptable behaviors from our parents and teachers. These are sometimes helpful - ”Never talk loud in front of adults”, “Always say Thank you”, “Be careful when you cross the road”, “All people are equal”. At other times they introduce prejudices and stereotypes. ”Do not play with children from the other neighborhood”, “Never talk to strangers”, “People in the western part of city are not nice”, “Always mingle with children of your own type”, “Elders can never be wrong”. All these get embedded in Parent without any rationale or logic. They are simple fiats and rules that have to be followed. Every time a child quotes his mom or dad to justify something, its her Parent talking. The Child represents the emotional responses and feelings that we experienced in our childhood in response to event. For example, a scare from a fiery dog can result in fear embedded in the Child as an emotion on seeing a dog. Or a child may have liked her uncle in a military outfit and this may store passion or awe for military. An ugly experience with a divorce in a house may store apathy for any relationship. Similar to Parent, there is no rationale or logic for what goes into the Child. These are just recordings of emotions and feelings in response to various stimuli. Here is the scary part: the Parent and the Child control our behavior by default. We are on autopilot with they in control unless we make an explicit effort to regain the control – which means giving it to the Adult. The Adult represents the logical, analytical, objective and evaluative being inside us. It does not take anything for granted – there are no recordings in the Adult. It is not a replacement of Parent or Child. It does see what is stored in them but questions whether that is the right way. Adult is a judge, arbiter, the cool-headed wise guy who works on logic rather than emotion. An Adult reacting to a situation is a conscious analysis. A Parent or Child reacting is like a subconscious response. Adult is analytical. Parent and Child are impulsive. Adult looks for the best way to handle the current situation. Parent and Child enforce the status quo. A woman who had fear embedded in her Child because she as a kid got scared of a puppy will still react with fear even if she sees a dog today. Her Child controls her behavior – until she makes an explicit effort for her Adult to come forward and rubbish her Child. Waiting for a few seconds before reacting to an explosive situation is giving time for your Adult to take over and stop the emotional impulsive reaction of the Child. That is why in some countries you get possession of a gun you purchase after 24 hours. The Parent and Child are not necessarily bad. Rather they are the only way a child can survive and function. However, they can become disruptive when they are the only means of behavior in adults. Here is an even scarier part: you will very likely always be governed by the Parent and the Child and that is how most people go through their lives. Its like “you never grow up”. The way to a better life – to get to a “I’m OK-You’re OK” state – is to have your Adult be at the forefront of your communications (external) and thoughts (internal). You do not have to discard the Parent and the Child – they have some very useful stuff stored in there. You just have to make them subservient to your rational Adult. You have to turn-off the autopilot of Parent and Child and have the Adult take over you manually. Initially this requires practice until it becomes your new autopilot mode. OK, all very interesting – but why am I telling you this? Remember, I said I like to apply models. So I applied P-A-C to how managers in knowledge organizations get developed. The initial years of a newly promoted manager is like a kid’s childhood. A newbie manager, talented but lacking experience and generally any grooming and guidance, needs help from others – just like a child needs help from his parents and teachers. The Parent and Child of the manager starts developing. The Parent gets deposited with the senior manager or executive’s style and mentoring. Some of it can be helpful: “You should get to know your reports better”, “You cannot grow as a manager unless you grow your people”, “Do regular One-on-Ones’ with your reports”, “Relationships and influences work better than role power”, “Talk but listen more”, “Delegate anything that can be delegated”. But then there can be stuff that is not so good: ”You should never trust the marketing folks”, “Never entrust your team with important things”, “Only hire people like you”, “A manager always has to be stern and forceful”, “Persuasion is for the weak. You should just command”, “Managers always have to multi-task”. Similarly, the manager’s Child starts developing with the emotions and feelings he associates with various events in his early managerial career. A senior executives diatribe in response to the manager’s question in public makes him fearful of asking any questions in public. Chaos and stress experienced during a product rollout makes him nervous about them – even if the future rollouts are much easier. A bully executive the manager has to work with in his first major project makes him dislike all executives. Getting a great and dependable team to work with early makes the manager always assume a positive lookout for future teams. Just like for a child, there is nothing wrong with it. A manager has to stock up his Parent and Child in order to know what to do. He is like a kid who needs his parents to tell him what is right and wrong, what to do and what not to do. However, as the manager “grows up”, he needs to make his Adult become proactive and start questioning his managerial Parent and Child. He has to function using reason and analysis rather than by impulse. He has to correct himself anytime he says “this is how things have always been done around here”. What is in his Parent and Child may be too restrictive and specific and possibly wrong and impeding. His Adult has to become the primary controller. The Parent and Child need to serve the Adult, not keep him in the closet. In order for a manager to be called “grown-up”, he has to have a fully functional Adult making his choices and decisions. --- >> watch Josh's new video, how do I sort out emotions? freedmantv.com suggest: "How we sort out emotions" people are looking for EQ-101 how do I do this? our response, "Here's how" direct, short, powerful, informative, no bs, go. What is EQ? --- 06:17 (formatting problem, made -'s into bullet points, with an extra hard-return between each LI-EIN, Matt's EQ Stuff Good news! - Happiness is a learned skill - Success is a learned skill - Joy is a learned skill - Empathy is a learned skill - Teamwork is a learned skill - Leadership is a learned skill That puts us in control of the quality and success of our personal and business lives, right?!? Woohoo... EQRocks! See our Promotions page for EQ trainings, services and insightful articles. http://www.linkedin.com/groups?promosList=&gid=75300&trk=anet_ug_promos&goback=%2Egmp_75300 --- 06:04 ... and here's a powerful quote from the Please Introduce Yourself thread: "In my opinion, one of the most immediate ways to make a difference is to start incorporating emotional & social intelligence into the curricula, and starting at a young age." http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Welcome-Who-are-you-why-75300.S.172640653?qid=64c9cded-a6ac-455b-a8be-e58b708b8a2b&trk=group_most_popular-0-b-ttl&goback=%2Egmp_75300%2Egde_75300_member_191668619%2Egmp_75300 --- I'm holding on to something, that's for sure. maybe after I finish D-R, I'll be able to poop(!) I did 2 x-lax on Tues, 2 on Wed, and 3 yesterday... nothing... wow. it must be ugly in there just spent/wasted an hour doing LI-EIN 2 new posts, and a few likes. it's important back to the brochure, I was on a roll 'til I let myself be distracted. --- 07:07 Hey you, I've bought from VistaPrint before. Good quality, nice backgrounds, great prices. Thanks for the reminder! so, I've still been working on the brochure. I added some pics, but I'm still having trouble with the wording... there's sooo litte space, and I have sooo much to say (see attached)... how do I boil it all down? btw, see our new Testimonials page! Most everything in one place... feel goods, and I'm going to point people there more often to help get the scoop about the power of ND. Did you get to see Tom at all last weekend?? I'm going to the Landmark Forum starting TODAY, and I'm excited and scared. I want to both see how they do things (they've had over 1.3M graduate!), and "get over" some of my continued blockages (like finishing things, and standing up to be a man... I still feel pretty wimpy much of the time... and there'll be no place for that, where I'm going). Have you been to a Forum? I know Tom and Celia have Hope you are well. oh, I've been working on the Draper-Richards app, too, and it's turning out Way much better than before... I'm psyched. luv ya! btw, when we change the world, you can take a ton of credit for being my inspiration, and my drive to make this all happen! - Matt --- 07:20 Paula went to church with Judge Brennan "she's not gonna have an affair. It's a professional friendship" had a strong effect on me. --- 07:27 cleanup and go to LF --- LandmarkForum.com Payoff <----- Avoid Responsibilies --------- Right/wrong Win/Lose Justify/invalidate Dominate/avoid domination Cost <----- Alivenes ------ Love/Affinity Satisfaction/fulfilment Wellbeing/vitality Self-Expression --- --------------- mcp ------------------- Good news! (D-R) - Happiness is a learned skill - Success is a learned skill - Joy is a learned skill - Empathy is a learned skill - Teamwork is a learned skill - Leadership is a learned skill - Mental Health is a learned skill - Peace is a learned skill - Love is a learned skill - Sobriety is a learned skill - Serenity is a learned skill --- Loss of: ---------- - Power - Freedom - Self-Expression - Peace of Mind Inauthentic --------------- - Hiding - Pretending - Ignoring - Lying Impact --------- - You - Others New Possibilities for Being! Racket: A fixed way of being + a persistant complaint a reaction to a real or imagined threat Homework 1. Look back through your life to discover what your 'rackets' are unloved no sex girls mad at me unfulfilling work / ND/EQ full-time few intimate friends 2. Share with someone in your life a possibility that you have invented for yourself or your life out of participating in The Landmark Forum in a way that leaves them touched, moved or inspired by your havin gotten that possibility. (This will create a very powerful result in your life) 3. Write a practice letter to somone you have been inauthentic with or have been running a 'racket' on. Share with them the possibility you have invented for yourself and your life. Be willing to acknowledge having been inauthentic and share the impact that has had in your life. Suggested format and points for your letter: - What I came to The Landmark Forum to accomplish is... - What I am actually accomplishing is... - The possibility that I have invented for myself and my life is the possibility of being... - Create a communication that begins to establish a new relationship with the person to whom you are writing. Practice being generous in that relationship. Some ideas of how to create this in your letter: - Acknowledge something that hasn't been acknowledged - Give something up - Commit to something - Offer something - Request something - Extend an invitation Hi Sean, There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. Sorry to do it in a letter, but please bear with me... as this is important. First, I want to thank you for being there for Tracy and the kiddos all these years! You have been a safe, stable, wise husband and Seany-father to some of my very favorite people on the planet. You couldn't have come along at a better time in their lives, or yours, and I believe that us all moving to Fort Bragg was a very good decision for everyone (well, except Scott, perhaps). Anyway, I appreciate you loving them. Second, I know you want to contribute to the family, and I like your work, so I'm offering you a small job, where you can work whenever you want, wherever you want, and help make a difference for your family and for the world. I can envision the possibility that we make a LOT of money next year, from home, as EQ is going to be one of the hottest information products out there... and we are on the cutting edge of what's possible with EQ. Let me know your thoughts. Sorry I haven't said this sooner. Your friend, - Matt --- 11:30 - --- 12.15 00:30 talk with pkp good, honest talk, plus some blaming and some denial shared LF homework she's going out with Judge Brennan again, to an art show or something --- no internet pause --- 06 up still no internet shows very low, low, good, excellent connection to Netgear ND brochure (and fart around with internet... got FB, but not e, or linked-in, or netflix... teasers) --- >> copy testimonials here (so no internet req'd) >> update ND FAQ's with new wording --- 07:57 go, LF Day 2 --- 12.17 07:50 go for 09:10 ferry... gives me an hour. will cost me $4 parking, tho, as the PL fills then I like who I am I like what I do I like how I treat people. I like my relationship with my past. working on self is fine, in fact, it's gotta be done. I feel like I have few real issues holding me back. ND Brochure do you have areas of your life -- in relationships, at work, at school that just aren't working for you? Chances are there are some thoughts, feelings and belief systems (bs) that in your way. we have tons of Unconscious Belief System (bs-u), made by a frightened, traumatized little kid. >> use acronyms, to grab/satisfy/acknowledge the analytical, left-brainers I just went to the Landmark Forum this past weekend, they say that it doesn't necessarily even Make Sense... as it's pure right brain! in fact, our job is to shed some light on our hidden bs. find 'em, discover them, take 'em out, dust 'em off, and check 'em out. do we agree? here's the biggest question, did it just happen once or twice, and the I MADE IT HAPPEN, to prove myself right from then on?!? how did I Generalize it, to 'all men', or even 'all people'... partly guys are clueless, and can be so shallow. but also a few bad guys ruin it for the 'good guys'. chances are that our childhood trauma had a guy/man involved. and chances are that little kid, said, "whooooa. that hurt. omg. what did I do wrong? I must be really Bad to make him do something that bad." and then they thot, "men are scary, mean and controlling... stay away!" but then they're also saying (quite naturally), "oh, I so need/want the love of a man. I yearn/long/hurt for it." and that's where the confusion starts. so, as we grow, we let our body be near/with/around guys, but not our heart. Since we never 'dealt with' the original pain, all we can do is close down. We close down our heart -- to the world, to ourselves, to "them" -- losing intimacy, joy, and emotional freedom -- all because we haven't so guys, who have been hurt, and have closed down, guys/boys and females/girls may have never been open. They may have felt unsafe from as far back as they can remember. >> FB-NDG We've had 3 main traumas in life, each of which has left us with in interpretations. These have shaped: 1. Toddler-Child: Age 3-7 "Something's wrong. The world is not safe." 2. Adolescent: Ages 8-17 "I don't fit in/belong." 3. Young Adult: Ages: 18-30 "I am alone in the world." kids are great observers -- they see, and more importantly, feel, what is going on around them. but they are also lousy interpretors -- they think that, if something bad is happening, IT MUST BE ME that's bad, and wrong, and unlovable. we take it on. we pick up the pain, and carry it, along with the negative belief systems (bs-n) during class... call, call, call train 'em how to call train 'em to handle objections train 'em what to say, and what not to say after class... bring 'em here's where I think we could add to your story. --- Gary Bishop, Connect on LI communicate thru LI. If he has 400+ connections, maybe he uses it a few concepts, ideas you might add in/be aware of emotional intelligence It's Ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done. right-brain (EQ) vs. left-brain (IQ) and IQ + EQ = LOL !! left-brain must give the right-brain Permission to proceed. so allow yourself to feel every Behaviour is made up of at least 1 thought, and at least 1 feeling you can make fun of feelings, but also let 'em know that our feelings are critical, and they ARE to be heard/understood/listened to, dumped Knowing that "life is empty and meaningless" should HELP people let go of their negative feelings faster/more completely since they Know that feelings are based on bs, and if the bs is 'meaningless', it helps the emotions disappate, often instantly, and quite magically! We gotta FEEL IT to HEAL IT. Traumas have such a strong right-brain affect, they DON'T MAKE SENSE, logically/cognitively. some quotes we use, that are related to some of the points you were making when feelings go up, logic goes down (aka amygdala hijack) --- ND Brochure We are NOT in control of our lives, if we don't know, understand, appreciate and LEARN from these events that have shaped our lives. don't feel much, or feel too much in one area? so our job is to add IQ to EQ, relieve the pressure/blockage/judgment/ --- >> script talk with Jim Expert in Emotional Intelligence written, taught, researched and spread EQ for over 25 years Your mission was about making families work, right? that's beautiful. --- 08:37 go! PP = 3136 (NICE!) , reply to order emails! --- Monday after LF! >> invite some folks youde? Tom? Jim --- , Connect with Gary Bishop on LI (done!) http://www.landmarkeducation.com/The_Landmark_Forum/Landmark_Faculty/Faculty_Photos.aspx Hi Gary, GREAT Forum this weekend -- thanks for the "awesome" experience -- let's connect! I'll send you the pic we took with you, me, Deep, Jeffery (the dolphin), and Victor. I will also Assist at a later course. When will you be back in SF? - Matt Perelstein --- Matt, that's a very flattering offer, but I'm going to decline it because I have so many projects going right now as it is. In addition to all the educational and EI pokers I have in the fire, I'm also a professional landscape photographer - www.raymathisphotography.com, and of course a husband and father which I have to sometimes remind myself to prioritize. And I know myself well enough to know I have this old dysfunctional "rut" to take on more than I can handle and then suffer mentally and even physically for it down the road. And I'm getting too old to do that to myself anymore. If things change, I'll let you know if you're still looking for someone. And thanks for all you and Josh do to make this work, and to promote EI all over the world. But I also urge you both to find any way you can to divide up the work among as many others as you can because it's got to be a monumental undertaking. And there are a lot of savvy folks who are members. Ray --- Thanks, Minty -- HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you, too! I need to get some more hours on my contract in order to finish the work at LBL. I think we should discuss how many, and how to ask. Thanks. - Matt - The first big task had serious scope creep, so it used most of the initial hours. I've mentioned this to Helen Cademartori hcademartori@lbl.gov, Karen's boss, but we didn't determine if she had additional budget or not. --- IMS Holiday Pics Hi, do you have rights to print pictures of the winners on the color printer? If not, do you know who does? I’d like to make a display on a wall somewhere, with the pics of the winners and their certification with their name on it. John took Great pics… check ‘em out in the folder below. - Matt --- 6:50 out 7:20 ferry talked to Del from PG&E Oganizational Behaviour Internet's working!! slowly, but that's ok --- YOUR CONTACTS: :: for SEI - Yoshimi Miyazaki :: for Vital Signs - Alex Russell :: for corporate training & consulting - Jay Grant :: for products & certifications - Jenny Wiley :: for coaching - Marilynn Jorgensen :: for education - Susan Stillman :: for cheerleading - Josh Freedman --- PKP Gloria Safeway sausage pulled pork (yum) ice cream (yikes, doesn't fit in freezer_ apples SR try internet in bandcamp... boom, works great... so it's the wireless part that isn't working Robin (loves new CPAP machine) and Heaven(!) Hunter hates him "not all the time" door-to-door selling approach, from the side knock, then step back up 8' from door keep hands in sight dress in light colors hey it's Robin with >> looks like bus development in the online community trade dollars do we want to spend our time/resources/money in putting this partnership together let's go ahead and get started. --- 12.18 00:12 Ok, so the Forum was quite EXCELLENT!! I especially liked their perspective on the development of Meanings and Belief Systems, they call 'em Interpretations. There's what happened... then there's our Interpretation or 'story' about what happened. We make decisions, from the point of view of a small, traumatized child, and then we set out proving ourselves RIGHT. They say we have at least 3 life-alterning traumas/shocks in life, each effecting us differently: 1. Toddler-Child: Age 3-7 "Something's wrong. The world is not safe." 2. Adolescent: Age 8-17 "I don't fit in. I don't belong." 3. Young Adult: Age 18-30 "I am alone in the world." We might change our CIS form to ask for these 3 Early Recollections. The instructor was the best I've ever seen! Super-polished, yet very real, loving, authentic, powerful, engaged, funny and energetic. 3 days, 36 hours, 110 students, $525, 1 instructor. Plus, he's Scottish, and has a very strong accent, so it's cool to hear certain words in his voice in my head. I highly recommend it! Especially for us who have done ND first, so we have the ability to access and release the negative emotions, easily and quickly. They did a visualization specifically designed to get people into their feelings, esp. fear, and some anger, and the room was almost silent (I even peaked 4-5x), so that means people weren't nearly feeling at the depth and breadth of completeness that we do/can/live. I'm meeting with the instructor after graduation tomorrow night, and I plan to Assist at an upcoming class (we can sign-up to assist for a few as 2 hours), and they have specific training for assistants. I could see teaching for them. they have 55 instructors, and Gary does 35 classes a year. I'll let you know if I make any progress. Whatchathink? --- 00:14 go to bed! 066:20 up do some e's, then back to my room (brrrr out here, and too dark to see keyboard) --- I believe communication and being emotionally savvy is key to success in personal and professional relationships. - "Emotional Education" - Gloria Watson “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations --- 06:50 Hi Yassin, (josh and ayman) Josh just announced the Feel.org petition last night, so there should be more activity. Can you get the word Country added to State? I'd still love to get notification of new signups to matt@2gethelp.com. Thank you. - Matt --- Christine, CPAP? nope --- >>>>>>>>>>> missing from work >>>>>> --- LandmarkForum graduation. almost pure sales. too bad, but some GREAT stuff written in my pink, polka-dotted notebook(!) wording, concepts, observations ND Brochure stuff. Jack Daniel's Pulled Pork, on tortillas, yum and some sausage and water. ice cream melted all over! ate/drank some, dumped half in toilet (so I wouldn't eat it) don't buy ice cream anymore. --- 12.19 00:29 2 hours in a room to teach EQ Give 'em some of the main EQ concepts: - You are at choice... you are always at choice. You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable... it's your choice. - Feelings matter. If you want to connect with people, you HAVE to care about them, and listen to their feelings, sometimes. Listen/hear/accept expressions of feelings, and they'll trust you forever. - When feelings go up, logic goes down. - #1 communication skill, "Shut up and Listen". brochure, feels constraining. don't give up... you can do it. >> review notes from LF grad Bold and Adventurous Bold and Adventurous yes, bold, adventurous, and together those people were predominately self-centered. I shoulda stood up and said something. this wasn't about us at all. people were quite squirmy about that. 3 people shared. just 3. and you used them masterfully to elicit emotion for enrollment ask the question get 'em to think then call on people all you have to do is NOT raise your hand, and phew, you're thru. no. nobody gets thru without getting they love they deserve (unless they're being super yucky about it, then they can go). but mostly, I need to apologize to you guys. the course was about being Authentic (in a Scottish accent, of course) being real with what you've been playing at. 1. I believe I have failed you in many areas... I have not kept my word to you (or me). I have gotten excited about new and different things, and disappointed many by failing to deliver. worst, I haven't been able to create the safe, loving, warm environment that we all need to heal. this group is super-cool, but I haven't found what you're looking for. I think we've done well with ND, making it a super-safe environment, where you are free, and encouraged, to FEEL like crazy, down to your toes, and we LOVE YOU for it! ND is hard as heck to explain, and I haven't provided you guys the tools to make your life sooo nice when those you love love like you love, they understand love, they know love is the key and they spread love wherever they go... why? 'cause it's fun. 'cause it works. 'cause it feels good... so very, very good to give, to receive, to connect, to succeed, to live fully, to be present Give yourself the #1 best gift, A present the present present moment the present present, v a gift present yourself with the #1 best christmas present, learn to be present in the present. ? but I digress... Gary made us laugh, a lot, but there's a lack of depth to the thing, that could be improved. Kind regard, best wishes, head cheerleader kinda You paid money for me to coach you, and now you're fighting me. Be --> Do --> Have Possbilities --> Actions --> Results ^ ^ \-----------------------------/ Aliveness Play big (I think I am... as big as I know to do. I need to write to Tony, tho Choose or Resist Write your lIfe Story name tags: MATT <-- bigger and bold perelstein <--- Seminar series is brilliant train instructors, who probably pay to e in the lcass that ALLOWs them to be Insructors Sorry, my ride was in a big rush to leave, and I didn't come say Goodbye. I wish I would have. 2GH - Resource Control Network - 2GH / 2VH 2GetHelp.com - EQ Emotional Support site, 24x7x365 support available, from peers and pros EQ-101 a community of EQ-friendlies, going and growing, together. we will always be as fair as we can, Policies: We love first. Come on it, you're among friends. we will be kind, and loving, and respected (always respected) We will have strong boundaries and deal-breakers, and we will remove you from the group but more than likely we'll be friends, all of us, because we choose to be. 2GiveHelp.com - Givers, helpers, those who have some learning and growth under their belt, who want to be Trained in how to be a better Giver, helper, lover. EQ-201 - Google me and see what you see. Gary Bishop's on my mind. interesting. We teach Intellectual Education, but not Emotional Education. every behaviour is based on at least one thought and at least one feeling. if you only know and understand, and are comfortable with, your thoughts, and distant, unfamiliar, Here's the app I sent to DRKfoundation.org D-R End with, I believe we can make a profound shift in human consciousness by living, teaching and creating an EQ-friendly world. Creating an EQ-friendly world. put 10+ links in each section. One thing you can count on me for is to never give up in bringing EQ to the world. Please help me teach the world about themselves. - Matt resume --- Ray Mathis Something we could start doing tomorrow to make a big difference, and it wouldn't cost a penny to do. It’s gratifying to hear that mental health is part of the discussion so far after the recent tragedy in Newtown. Even if there hadn’t been a shooting, we have millions of people in the country who generate more emotion than is helpful or necessary, and than they know what to do with, and they suffer needlessly in a host of ways because they do. And there is a simple thing we could start doing tomorrow in every school across the nation that would be a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure. And it wouldn’t cost a penny to do it. And it would be good for teachers as well. The vast majority of people walking this planet, including most teachers and parents, have an external locus. They wrongly believe that what others say and do, and what happens, makes them feel the way they do. This puts them at the mercy of their life events, and often causes them to generate more emotion than necessary or helpful, and to more importantly, to miss many opportunities to feel better. The formula for feelings is: EVENT THOUGHTS = FEELINGS. Anything that happens, or that others say and do is technically just an EVENT in the formula. It’s what we choose to think about those events, be they real or imagined, that really determine how we feel. Thoughts cause feelings, not events. It’s like that formula we all learn in algebra, a b = c, where a is a constant, and b is a variable. If a stays the same, and you change b, c changes. Likewise, if the EVENT stays the same, and you change your THOUGHTS about it, your FEELINGS change, either for the better or worse. Dr. Albert Ellis long ago invented the ABC Theory of Emotions, where: A = Activating Event (or adversity) B = Beliefs C = Consequences (feel, do) He contended that how you feel and what you do is a consequence of what you believe about the activating event, and sometimes yourself, others and life. We all do have a host of cognitive choices that we make all the time, usually without being aware that we do. We’re usually unaware because we make them so automatically because of prior practice and rehearsal. The choices include: 1) How we LOOK AT what happens, or ourselves 2) What MEANING we attach to what happens 3) What we REMEMBER about the past 4) What we IMAGINE well happen in the future 5) What we FOCUS on 6) What we COMPARE things to 7) What we EXPECT of ourselves, others and life 8) How much IMPORTANCE we attach to what does happen Making young people more aware of the choices they have, and teaching them how to make them differently and better, can be very empowering. It can “vaccinate” young people mentally and emotionally against all kinds of mental health, health and social problems. These choices can act like “mental and emotional karate” moves against bullying. It can give young people the mental and emotional fitness to function at levels they are capable of. And like I said, it wouldn’t cost a penny to implement this into school curriculum. And it would be good for teachers as well. Too many of them needlessly stress themselves out and disturb themselves because they have an external locus of control, and wrongly blame students for how they make themselves feel. And that causes them to make many mistakes with students, especially the most troubled and troublesome ones they can least afford to make mistakes with. You can learn more about the “tool” of an Internal Locus of Control” at: http://www.itsjustanevent.com/Pagefour.html If a teacher simply read that page, they could help themselves a great deal, and start a discussion tomorrow in their classroom. Do that simple thing in every classroom, in age appropriate ways, and we’d be headed in the right direction less… 8 hours ago Approve• Move to Promotions• Delete • See Ray Mathis's activity » --- Tigran K. commented on Do you believe we should be teaching EQ in public schools? If so, please sign our petition at http://www.Feel.org. " Should we TEACHING or DEVELOPING EQ? Even EQ is considered as an inteligence, it is more skills and abilities based drived by attitudes. We all know that "knowing" is not enough for "doing"; there are also skills and abilities that are developed only by practicing. Otherwise, we will have the old "learning transfert" issue. " --- ------------------ mcp ----------------- There is only one real failure in life that is possible and that is, not to be true to the best one knows. - Frederic Farrer (1831 - 1903) ------------------ mcp ----------------- If you find it hard to be grateful for what you have, it is time to dig deeper. --- FB-ND (not!) Left-brain intellectual intelligence (IQ) is taught, and honored, our whole lives in school, and at home... while our right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) are squashed, denied and disrespected. feelings and emotions --- 01:26 Miles, dude, what's up? Talk to us, homey. You mentioned that you'd lost a long post, and I was sad to hear that. You KNOW we're rooting for you, right?!? Jump on the call tonight at 7 and let's talk, ok? Love you! --- Everything you say is an affirmation. Everything you think is an affirmation. Everything! What you want to do is get control of what you are saying and thinking, so these things bring you good experiences in life rather than rotten experiences. Louise Hay --- 06:45 to Gary Bishop, on LI Hi Gary! THANKS again for a wonderful class... you rock! I'm sorry I missed the chance to say goodbye last night -- my ride was in a hurry to go -- as I wanted to shake your hand one more time, and thank you personally. I wanted to chat about the Instructor program, too. Where would I go to find out more? I will also be assisting. When will you be back teaching in SF? Thanks for all you do/have done to make the world a better place! - Matt 07:06 to Ray Mathis on LI dude, just go to your Activity list, select all, copy, paste into a new document, organize it a bit, and you've got a book on EQ!! You're amazing. I want to do a series. Myron Doc Downing wrote Taking Control of Your Life, and I want us to follow it with Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions: practical tools for incorporating the right-brain power into a left-brain world (well, something much sexier than that) We don't need a publisher first, we just need to write the thing... as people don't know what we know. Even the simplest and most basic EQ skills (like 'Shut up and Listen' and "Happiness is a Choice") are unknown to the general public. Start simple with short, powerful lessons, and teach 'em how to do life. I want to build an online EQ university, with EQ-101 The basics, EQ-201, Communication Skills, EQ-301 Teamwork, etc. There's incredible potential there! Have you heard of Moodle, an integrated learning environment? I have a non-profit, and we're applying for a foundation grant for seed money to bring EQ to the world. Wanna join me? - Matt p.s. - moderating the group only takes me a few minutes twice a day, I do the Requests to Join and Josh and others help with submissions. I could do it much faster, if I wasn't copying and saving the best posts (like yours) and promotions to build our list of EQ Resources. p.p.s. - Yeah, I heard you that you get into too many things... me, too... but I'm having fun with it... are you? I really, honestly, truly believe that I was put here on this earth to teach EQ. you were too. We just 'get it', and we both know how simple and life-changing these tools are and can be. Ray, those of us who know are a responsibility to teach those who do not. I'd like you involved... is there some area you would be interested in pursuing? --- 07:13 FB-ND Left-brain intellectual intelligence (IQ) is taught, and honored, in school, and at home... while right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) is ignored, squashed, and disrespected. Understanding, managing and learning from our right-brain is one of the keys to Happiness and Success in life! --- Euc Testimonial, FB-EP Amanda Holly McCaulla I was just asking a question in the email I didn't expect getting another box separate than what I paid for thank you so much for the big limbs the girls won't get it till they wake up Christmas morning to a cage full of leaves and limbs they absolute love this stuff and so do I keep up the great work :) thank you again maybe next time ill see about getting some seeds from you :p --- ND Brochure --- Book Recommendation Waking the Tiger, by Peter Levine(?) --- lost wallet NOT a good feeling! last seen in car on way home from graduation last night got it out in lady's car (name?) to give Bob my card. in Rebekkah's car after? <--------------------- YES!!!!! ferry parking lot? --- pkp showdown job options before 11 5yo told mom lorenzo EPO ddb overstepping furious threaten to quit, to take a stand with ddb not too far, too emotional maybe --- D-R >> Change.org, get collaborators http://www.change.org/ --- Ayman, Josh, Yassir, Bob Thanks for the efforts, the page looks very good in Firefox... but try it in Internet Explorer... huge difference. Love your wording Ayman... We are working on a grant application with that very theme! Many of the problems in modern society are due or at least in part, to people unable to understand and appropriately express their emotions. Emotional Literacy is a preventive tool, once properly understood, can help solve many social ills -- violence, illness, drug abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and global societal conflicts. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Feel.org launch/ Emotional literacy, the true antidote to school violence.. Sign the campaign on Feel.org From: Ayman Sawaf Date: Wed, December 19, 2012 8:47 am To: yassin shaar , matt@2gethelp.com, Joshua Freedman , bg@wholelife.com Dear Matt i m planning to send this to a 50k mailing lists of friends and attendees of the wholelife expos and other network and thousands of teachers and authors in our market place. I will be posting this on facebook and email it to everyone there so that they can share it too. Any feedback or addition before sending it. The time to launch is perfect especially with the tragedy of Conn. We just finished uploading the corrected feel.org site, adding state and country, a touch of beautification on the sponsor columns and a new widget to be shared as the past one was buggy. Please check and give us feedback. A Many of the problems in modern society are due or at least in part, to people unable to understand and appropriately express their emotions. Emotional Literacy is a preventive tool, once properly understood, can help solve many social ills -- violence, illness, drug abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and global societal conflicts. The true antidote to violence in schools and at home is learning Emotional literacy: The ability to recognize, understand and express our emotions in appropriate ways. D-R A poll by USA Today showed that, when asked what they most wanted to change in their children's schools, a full 75% of all parents asked for emotional literacy - though not by name. Parents' most frequent request (36%) was the desire for more school counselors - a need alleviated by Emotional Literacy education. The second greatest request (33%) was the desire for emotional diagnosis of our kids before it was 'too late.' The third most prolific desire was to insure our kids are taught not to hate (18%). Please support the One million signature campaign on feel.org and share it with your friends. Thank you. Ayman and Rowan Sawaf Feel.org Yassin, for the wholelife lists, please replace subject with Support the Feel.org One Million signature campaign, sponsored by the Wholelife Expos. ( Bob, any better subject?) thanks guys.. Ayman --- Jan. 10, 6pm, Thursday! mtg with ladies, near Embarcadero BART >> where? --- --- dentist! 415-402-0707 re-glued cap, cleaning, (amazing, high-tech) xrays -- all No Charge! got a good bag, since I was good. dentist is a fine lady, super pretty, super gentle, nice find(!) bad news re: more work to be done! -- big charges! >> Jan. 8, 6pm dentist appt. 3 cavities, $300 he'll bill as of Dec. 27 OV so it counts against 2012 limits Jeff Gunier The Dental Suite 50 Post Street, Suite 3 San Francisco, CA 94104 P: 415.402.0707 F: 415.704.8787 E: jeff@dentalsuite-sf.com www.dentalsuite-sf.com Got PDF of XRays (wow) Jeff, Thank you for the PDF. There were also some closeups taken with a camera that really showed the problems, in color... are those available, too? - Matt --- PP = 3401 --- SEI Assessor Update For Six Seconds Certified SEI EQ Assessors Dear Matt, I hope you've had a chance to see the amazing new "Brain Brief Profile" - it's a breakthrough because it allow a huge new group of people to become interested to start practicing the skills of emotional intelligence! The Brain Brief Profile (BBP) integrates 10 years of our research on EQ into a 1-page, visual, low cost, easy-to-understand, and insightful snapshot. "Brain Style" refers to how we each are currently integrating emotional and cognitive data. The profile has 3 scales: Focus (do we pay more attention to emotional or rational data?), Decisions (do we evaluate more to avoid risks or reach opportunities), and Drive (are we motivated more toward the pragmatic or the idealistic?). Overview of the BBP (www.6seconds.org/bbp - this is public - please share this and the brochure and manual that are on this page) As a Certified SEI Assessor, you are now able to use the Brain Brief Profile with your clients. Here is a special guide for SEI Assessors on using BBP. Or, here is the guide in an A4 version if that's a better size for you :) (These are not for sharing -- only for certified EQ Assessors) If you have not tried the BBP yourself, you're welcome to so using this link (again, this link is only for you). When you take it, you'll see that you use the "regular" SEI, but instead of a long report, you get the 1-p Brain Brief Profile. When you receive your BBP, you'll see that you also have access to a very cool 24-page booklet, The Brain Brief Interpretation Guide (for sharing with people who receive the BBP). Finally: Soon the BBP will be available for any learning & development professional to administer. It's a "Level A" report, meaning no debrief is required. Only Certified Assessors can access the full SEI (Leadership & Development reports, SEI360, SEIYV), but "Profilers" will be able to access the BBP. We're making an online tutorial on the BBP for these people. The tutorial isn't done yet, but you might want to check it out -- it has a video describing the BBP, and some great tips on using it, including a workshop you can download: URL: http://admin.6seconds.org/elearn/bb User: change Pass: EQ4change (Again, this is not for sharing) The team and I look forward to hearing how you like this tool!! Warmly, Joshua Freedman COO, Six Seconds --- 4:40 I've had a Subway meatball sub ($2/$4) every day for 6 days in a row now. Started Friday at LF, now it's Wednesday. Since I don't have my wallet, I found a few bills in the center console of my car ... with some change, I was able to get a 6" today ... also found that there was a $10-bill in with the crumpled singles, so I'm good 'til Petaluma --- Rebekkah DT Petaluma? call when driving up, about 8:30 --- 11:23 415-402-0707, 33 sec Jeff, dentist 1:44 Rebekkah 0:43, wallet lady! when? 1:18 Bart bid --- 5:55 out ferry, with Michael (with the huge smile and the Columbian wife(s)), GM of an ESPN Desportes affiliate radio station then ND Support group in the ferry parking lot just me and Splat, but I will continue... (it's fun for me.) To Rebekah Negro's in Petaluma to re-connect with my WALLET!! brought her a jar of honey, had a glass of wine, talked, hugged, went home ... and wrote some great stuff in the morning! --- --- 11:04 EucProducts of California, you have sent $167.00 USD to anita scripter. Hi. Sorry for the delay. I like what you've done. On the testimonials page, please show all the choices above the fold. That page is gonna be my focus, so I want it cool. However, I cannot pay properly for you to spend whole days on my stuff. I hope this is ok... thanks, you've reinspired me PP = 3241 -150 Sliloh -10 Best Buy -60 Google AdWords --- 11:07 rebekah negro Yay. It was so very nice to meet you. I'm proud of you for all you've been thru, you're doing really great. How cool that you're going to spend your Holiday as a family again!?! here's our workshop: www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com and what folks have shared about it: (scroll down to see the best ones) you know I'm not a sales guy, but they guys are all saying that the love really works! Enjoy it all! You're a super lady. let's stay in touch. - Matt --- Sarah Lobue 8:59pm Dec 19 im running a little short on money i have everything but pants and bindings i also dont have goggles and only have so much money do u think i could work with u for a littlr Absolutely! Do you have school Friday? I have a BUNCH of orders to do, by 5. If you have school, could you and Bri come straight over after school and work for a few hours? I'll throw in some extra, too. you could also Borrow pants and goggles... Rachel has some... see you Friday? Woohoo! - OG -- ND Testimonial, MCP Testimonial Since I can't get to a group I need to reach out here again, and more instead of keeping it inside~ Thanks for listening and for caring about people! OxO please tell your family Merry Christmas and Happy 2013!!! --- 12.20 06:35 I love your clarity in this situation, Gay! No drama, no 'story', just boundaries and agreements based on Behaviours... if you do this, here's what happens... clear, clear. Thanks for the lesson. Sounds like you also reached out to people you trust and considered their advice... nice going. Best wishes with it all. --- ND Testimonial, MCP Testimonial Glori Celis Wow, I totally forgot about Wed call tonight. Wish I had been there. Troy Celis and I got some extremely sad news tonight. Tory's ex brother in law called and told us Troy's sister committed suicide Nov 29. Troy and I haven't been close to his sister in years but it still sucks. One more casualty of the legacy of extreme kinky belief systems. What made it even worse was the brother in law (who we haven't talked to in over 15 years) was so high or drunk he barely made sense. It took Troy and I back to the insane way of thinking that we grew up in. Everything was extreme and over the top. It makes me even more grateful for all the work Troy and I did to get our emotional health and well being back. Matt Perelstein, you might think you aren't doing enough but Troy could have easily have been his sister all those years ago as many of you remember so I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my family come as far as we have. I am forever grateful for Myron Doc Downing and ND. I also have to thank Troy and I for being smart enough and brave enough to put the concepts into practice. Love you guys! - Gay Storm Amen, sista. I'm so thankful too --- Michele Soplata Wow thanks Matt, what a great call and wow to the processing. Growth in my life today means so much to me. To be able to see it in myself is even greater. I love ND. --- Yep, I'm loving these calls! So, let's get more specific and work directly on our Meanings and Belief Systems (bs). They say we have at least 3 life-alterning traumas/shocks in life, each effecting us differently: 1. Infant-Toddler-Child: Age 0-7 "Something's wrong. The world is not safe." 2. Adolescent: Age 8-17 "I don't fit in. I don't belong." 3. Young Adult: Age 18-30 "I am alone in the world." Next support call, on Jan. 2, we're gonna focus on #1... when we very first realized that something is badly wrong in the world... "Ouch! It's not the safe place I thought it was!". Try and find the exact moment you made that decision... and consider re-making it. --- Generalizing does NOT help. One of the worst things we do with Belief Systems is: - Personalize them - "It must be me". Kids are great Observers -- we see it, and feel it... but we're lousy Interpreters. We don't realize that IT'S NOT ME that's the problem!! - Generalize them - "Men are..." "Life is...", "I am..." those are pretty big generalities... in fact, they can't get any bigger for a child! Rather than, "You, my dad, who is drunk at the moment, raising his voice really high, stomping around and using lots of bad words." - Compartmentalize them - Stuff 'em away in a box - Suicide them! - Kill off those feelings! Deny them, ignore them, avoid them AT ALL COSTS... there are times we'd rather DIE than to 'touch' some of the horrors that live down inside of us. Although these aren't Avoidable, they are, in fact, Resolvable. ... and, I'm go even further to say that, these Life-defining events can be our greatest Teachers, lessons, experiences, that hopefully, 100% totally at our choice, turns to Inspiration, and Motivation, and Strength, and Self-Esteem. We can Learn from our Trauma That's part of 'feeling it', is that we give it life, we let it exist ('cause it does already, we're just taking the lid off). Shine the light on our traumas. In the workshop the other day, I 'found' one of my life-defining events... when I truly felt so, so totally Alone... when my buddy Paul had to move away, when we lived in Ethiopia... it was a horribly painful moment for me (tears), and one in which I decided stuff like, "I am alone. I don't matter. I am unlovable. I am disconnected. The world is big and painful. I have no control over my life. I can't get what I want." super-negative generalities, buried under the pain. But now, I'm super HAPPY about knowing one of the ROOTS of so much of my life's pain -- that's very good news, to me -- 'cause now I can DO something with it. People who don't do this work don't see what we see. They're not connected to their inner-child in a way that works. #1 Most Important Relationship Connecting with our Inner Child. When you and him/her meet, and create a cool relationship, here's what we start to say: 1. I know her/him. 2. I accept her/him 3. I will listen to her/him. 4. I accept her/his feelings. Feelings are Real, but they or may not be True. Real - we actually felt what we felt, it's a body sensation, and it's real True - they're based on actual events, not interpretations or filtered (which is almost impossible) We put total stock in our feelings. what did you feel... boom... that's what I felt. it's real. it happened inside the kid. You do NOT have to have major issues, huge drama and a violent past to learn about YOU. Solving Breakdowns! 1. Declare the Breakdown with those you're involved with. 2. Get back on track to the possibility you were TRYing to create when the breakdown occurred. Views --> Actions --> Results I'm not saying it's about Healing. it's more about Knowing, and Accepting. - I can be dramatic in my writing... 'cause it's ABOUT drama I am writing. --- the girls are gonna come Friday afternoon to help me do orders -- yay! --- Minty, XRG / LBL I forgot something... Due to my error in the effort letters, I will offer 10 unbilled hours of work for them. I developed the single emails first, and had hard-coded "October" for testing... then I made the multiples functionality using a variable month... and off they went to run multiples... but Outlook kept crashing so they reverted to the singles and she created and sent 84 emails one at a time... which were still in Oct, but it was now November. So the emails worked, but they had the wrong data on them. It was very embarrassing for them, and I feel badly about it, so I'd like to offer some hours back. Ok -- can I do that, please? thanks. - Matt --- 07:30 Matt Perelstein Wow. Sorry, Troy -- love you, dude. Talk to us. What's going thru your heart and mind? thanks, Glori.. you're my positive picture of what's possible with this work! Talk to us Troy... let 'er rip... you're safe here with us. --- 07:41 FB-MCP I went to the Landmark Forum this past weekend -- holy shmolies, batman -- it was so powerful, and life-transforming! They have had over 1.3M graduates over 30+ years (remember the old 'est' trainings) so I wanted to see/feel how the big boys do it (and work out more of my 'stuff'). Damn. Got some BIG pieces for me about how afraid I've been of people, of the world, of life... knowledge is power, and it feels sooo powerful to know me, understand me, accept me, and thus be able to better 'manage' me, toward happiness and success. So, they have quarterly classes in Sac and monthly in San Francisco -- consider getting yourself the best Christmas present ever -- and go! Most describe this class as the most influential event of their lives. www.Landmarkeducation.com --- 07:41 go, to 08:20 ferry leave at 07:55, and take it easy. go We are wired to master disappointment rather than seek fulfillment kids become their own hero be the one you run to! Training vs. Development "internal locus of control" What Makes You A Winner. danwaldschmidt.com You have to want it. That’s what makes you a winner. You have to want to win. Like crazy. You have to want to win so badly that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be successful. from fizzle to sizzle --- IMS >> do Christmas poster today --- Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? Absolutely: With a high degree of EQ your intuition and empathy of the people involved will be a key factor when coming to a decision about the task. Interestingly, coping mechanisms in stressful scenarios can have a negative impact on sensitivity, noticing skills and EQ capacity and in turn have a cause and effect on the result you want. This all seems obvious but when you see growing data revealing the cause and effect of overload and stress on EQ capacity with a direct consequence of poor leadership then maybe this is another piece of the jigsaw that should be discussed. Really enjoying reading the comments thanks Mohan. Posted by Rob Coulthard --- Hi Jennifer, I received your order for fresh Euc Chew Sticks -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Any special requests? Euc Chew Sticks are short, straight, thin, clean sticks... but I could also send you a 'branch' which is thicker, longer (up to 2'), and has leaves on... which would you prefer... I could send you either or both? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Got it! Some of those are not Costco items, but I can go to Wal*Mart, too. I'll call DDB. Joint checking, right? I'm sorry to say that Lincoln isn't playing anymore. See http://thecoastcinemas.com/ I've heard that Flight is very good, too! Romantic weekend sounds good! - me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Costco list From: "Paula" Date: Thu, December 20, 2012 2:46 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" , "Matt Perelstein" Hi honey, Cream cheese Artichoke hearts ( in jar ) Red and yellow bell peppers Avocados Large Bag of salad mix for Christmas eve and day Sunflower seed kernels, if they have them Ranch salad dressing Package of Secret baby powder deodorant for Rach Waffle iron for Sean ( don’t spend over about $25.00 ) Beers of the world for Carson ( don’t spend over about $15.00 ) You could also look around for what you think might be good for him. If you don’t find anything we can get Blue Moon. AK says he likes that also. Would you give DDB a call when you are at Costco? She wants bold flavor whole coffee beans. her cell # is 813-1131 and home is 964-0923 I’m trying to remember what I needed at Wal-Mart I should be home by 6:30 or 7 I’ll be at Tracy’s bank helping her. I’ll try to keep my cell with me. Thank you for picking up everything Maybe we could go see Lincoln with Daniel Day Lewis at the movies tomorrow and have a really romantic weekend and Christmas Love You Paula Perelstein Project Sanctuary 461 North Franklin Street Fort Bragg CA 95437 707-961-1507 --- 6:50 ND testimonial Thanks everyone....I am sad,yet not surprized by what has occurred...My background is quite terrible and I too came close to doing the same things...thank god I got help and realized I wasnt going to make it without some real Help...special thanks to Matt and Paula for their sensitivity and support. And to Glori because she knew me better than anyone. My sister only now has maybe some Peace she never attain during her time here. I really only knew her as a child and we never maintained a relationship as adults.....it is tragic. I did love her,bye sweetie - Troy --- put up Holiday Party pics 6:58 OUT (home, after almost 2 weeks!) - SR to pack, REALLY QUICKLY and goodbye and hugs to Marc and Bobby and Tom, and met Cloie 8:28 zip to CostCo... made it by 2 min (phew -- much Christmas-related food and presents!) $200 joint then to Target $100 PP-EP 11:58 pulled over to nap on 101 somewhere --- 12.21.12 Friday morn 01:25 up and go... 02?? to AM/PM in Willits pause by the pumps 03:45 up, gas = $3.23(!)... lowest in a year, I'll bet(!) good timing, since we're driving the MH to Flagg in a few talk to guy inside. you used to work in Sac, right? yep, now SF. free mounds to halfway nap, twice 06:30 home first time in 11 days... nice 07:13 Hint! If you're going to or thru Willits, fill up with gas there. It's down to $3.23, 30-40 cents less than FB or the bay area. Happy Holidays! --- Wayne McGregor Creativity is teachable. made up my dance, to teach to my peers corre technology of the body communicating ideas thru the body, to move them, touch them. in mind, and in body distributed cognitive process explore the idea of physical thinking a sense of my own body in the real world I don't know what I'm going to do how they take in information, what they do with it, and TED, make something a letter T snapshot it (nope) --- Brene Brown, Vulnerability http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=363 D-R Does shame affect our bodies and health? I think we carry shame in our bodies just like we carry trauma in our bodies. One of the interesting studies on this was from James Pennebaker at the University of Texas at Austin. He studied trauma, expressive writing, and physical wellness. What he found is that for people who held on to a secret of trauma—because of shame or because of guilt—keeping that secret had a worse effect on their physical well-being than the actual traumatic event. - She may not be a household name just yet, but when you refer to “the woman who talks about vulnerability,” the seven million viewers of her TEDTalks videos know you mean Brené Brown. A research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Brown has been studying shame, fear, and vulnerability for 12 years. She has presented her findings in three books, on national television, and in lectures across the country. A mix of no-nonsense Texan and best-friend warmth, Brown shines a light into the inner chambers of our hearts—and illuminates a reason to hope. She discusses her new book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, with S&H’s Karen Bouris. S&H: In your new book Daring Greatly, you introduce the idea of a shame-based emotion that seems unique to our contemporary society. One aspect you name is the “fear of being ordinary.” Brené Brown: The overwhelming message in our culture today is that an ordinary life is a meaningless life unless you are grabbing a lot of attention and you have lots of Twitter followers and Facebook fans who know everything you know. I use the shame-based fear of being ordinary as my definition for narcissism. I definitely see it in younger generations, where people fear they are not big enough. No matter how happy and fulfilling their small, quiet life is, they feel it must not mean very much, because it’s not the way people are measuring success. Which is just terrifying. So there’s excess, but at the same time, you talk about a culture of scarcity. Can you explain what you mean by that? The root of the scarcity issue is fear. The questions we are living by—what are we supposed to fear, and who is to blame?—are exhausting for us spiritually, emotionally. Fear consumes an enormous amount of energy in our lives, and to me that’s probably the greatest casualty of the scarcity culture. We are spending so much time and energy being afraid that we are not fully walking into our power and our gifts. During your 12 years of research, you found people who do feel adequate; you coined the term “wholehearted” for this feeling, a feeling of being enough. How did they arrive at that emotional place? There are two things they shared in common. The first is a sense of worthiness—they engage in the world, with the world, from a place of worthiness. Second, they make choices every day in their life, choices that almost feel subversive in our culture. They are mindful about things like rest and play. They cultivate creativity, they practice self-compassion. They have an understanding of the importance of vulnerability and the perception of vulnerability as courage. They show up in their lives in a very open way that I think scares most of us. How does vulnerability relate to our capacity for joy? As someone who spent more than a decade studying fear, vulnerability, and shame, I never thought in a million years that I would say that joy is probably the most difficult emotion to feel. It’s hard to feel joy because we are so keenly aware that it’s fleeting. When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, we lose the courage to be joyful. Joy is a daring emotion! We are going to let ourselves stop in a moment that won’t last forever, that can be taken away. We feel almost that “you are a schmuck if you let yourself feel too deeply because the bad stuff is going to happen.” Is that because we feel undeserving of joy? I think what drives it, even more than feeling undeserving, is “if I let myself feel this joy, pain will be all that much harder. If I let myself just really sink into the joy of my child, something is going to happen to him or her, and I will be devastated.” It comes back to the idea that it’s easier to live disappointed than feel disappointed. And yet we are starving for joy. I have never met anyone who doesn’t want more joy in their life. You use a term, “the betrayal of disengagement.” Before I started this research, when someone used the word “betrayal,” I thought of high drama, of cheating or mistrust. During the interviews, though, the most hurt and the deepest hurt I saw, over and over, was when people would talk about relationships— whether it was with a friend, a parent, with adult children—where people had just stopped trying. Where at some point, they threw their hands in the air and said, “it’s not supposed to be this much work or this hard.” Our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be brokenhearted; again, it goes back to the idea that we are so afraid of feeling pain and feeling loss that we opt to live disappointed rather than to feel disappointed. We are never fully in; there is no raw engagement. A lot of your work examines how humans experience the emotion of shame. Can you explain how shame relates to vulnerability? If vulnerability is the willingness to show up and let ourselves be seen, shame gets in the way. How can we be authentically known when we are paralyzed with fear about what people might see? Setting boundaries is a great example; it’s something that people don’t think about as vulnerability, but saying “no” and protecting our time—whether it’s family time, our creative time, whatever our self-care time is—that’s a huge act of vulnerability in a culture where productivity is so highly valued. Where does shame come from? Are we born with it? We are born with the hardwiring for connection, and I think we learn shame. It starts as a parenting tool. It’s also a tool for social control; it’s a tool in classrooms; it’s a tool in synagogues and churches and mosques. But if it’s everywhere, how can we overcome it? Shame needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. And when you start naming [the cause of your shame] and talking about it with people who have earned the right to hear these stories in your life, it dissipates, because shame only works when it keeps you in this false belief that you are alone. The good news is that the men and women I have interviewed who have high levels of shame resilience share things in common that we can all learn from. ( You first studied women, then men. Did you find that the genders experience shame differently? Shame is a human experience, but the expectations and messages that fuel shame are definitely organized by gender. I would say that men have a tendency, and this is painting with a broad stroke, but men have a tendency to have one or two responses to shame, which is anger or disengagement. Women have a tendency to turn against themselves. We tend to join the choir of the gremlins and engage in some destructive self-loathing. Does that shame affect our bodies and health? I think we carry shame in our bodies just like we carry trauma in our bodies. One of the interesting studies on this was from James Pennebaker at the University of Texas at Austin. He studied trauma, expressive writing, and physical wellness. What he found is that for people who held on to a secret of trauma—because of shame or because of guilt—keeping that secret had a worse effect on their physical well-being than the actual traumatic event. You share in your TEDTalks and your books about having a breakdown, and you call it a spiritual awakening. What does that mean to you? For me, it was reconnecting with my vulnerability and letting joy back in my life, practicing gratitude, and letting go of perfection. My faith life is my greatest act and source of daring. I am a believer; I am all in! I believe in God, I believe in the goodness of people, I believe that we are all interconnected by something deeply spiritual and profound that’s bigger than us, and so for me, personally, my path to engaging with the world and having the courage to be vulnerable was strictly the result of reconnecting with my faith life. Is your faith an internal or external expression? It’s fully both. I am engaged in a faith community; I go to an Episcopal church here in Houston, and I am very involved and my family is very involved. That’s part of it. But there is the deeper part of it that is just my relationship with God. At one point in my life, the organizing principle was acceptance and approval. Now, the organizing principles in my life are my faith and my values, which are driven completely by my faith. It’s about doing my work in service to my beliefs, as opposed to doing my work for gold stars—and I am so crazy about a gold star every now and then! I am not that evolved. However, it’s not the guiding principle anymore. I also don’t have the fear of failure I used to have. Because of grace. You know, grace allows for failure. What do you hope people will get from Daring Greatly? That we need what everyone has to bring to the table. If we are so afraid of what people think, we’re not going to show up in the way that we need to show up for ourselves and for the people around us. We’re all in this together, and time is short. So get the show on the road! —S&H Stop Shame in Its Tracks Everyone is going to experience feelings of shame, yet we can become more “shame resilient,” says Brown. She observed that some people have higher levels of what she calls shame resilience, and that this characteristic can lead to deeper connections with themselves and others. There were four traits that she found shame-resilient people had in common, and she shares them with us here: THEY KNOW WHAT SHAME IS. “They talk about the feelings, they ask for what they need,” says Brown. “And they don’t call it embarrassment, they don’t call it guilt, they don’t call it self-esteem—they call it shame.” THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT ACTIVATES THEIR FEELINGS OF SHAME. “For example, I can expect to be triggered as soon as I feel like I have disappointed someone or let them down,” she says. “I am going to hear a mental tape playing ‘you are not enough.’ Because I am expecting it, I can greet it and say, ‘I get it, but not this time.’ ” THEY PRACTICE CRITICAL AWARENESS. Brown might, for example, ask herself, Is it really true that my worth hinges on making someone else happy? THEY REACH OUT. “I might call a good friend and say, ‘Hey, this guy has been asking me to speak at a conference, but it’s on Charlie’s birthday. I said no and he got upset. I know I did the right thing, yet I am feeling like I am not good enough.’” Shame can’t survive being spoken, says Brown. “Talking cuts shame off at its knees.” --- D-R do a grid, with links in every statement Problems EQ Solutions --- “To prepare our kids for this world, we must educate the heart.” http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3023&Itemid=0 --- When a child is born, we do everything we can to protect them, love them we want to teach them everything they know, to give them the tools for life friendship, romance, disappoinment, romance are the tools enough to prepare them for this world we must also educate the heart! teach them compassion, acceptance and tolerance. can begin today it's happening around the world S & EL ask for a balanced education Educating both the mind and the heart --- 07:48 FB-EIN Beautiful, short video from the Dalai Lama Center saying "We must educate both the mind and the heart!" and teaching our kids "compassion, acceptance and tolerance". Watch it. http://shambhalasun.com/sunspace/?p=30601 --- ?"The two great words of antiquity are behold and beware. Behold the possibilities and beware the temptations." - Jim Rohn --- FB-Andrew Wegner Hey dude... thinking of you! I didn't know it got below zero in that part of the world... -15 is damned cold. Hope you're keeping a good attitude. Got a small Christmas present coming your way, when you get settled somewhere. Enjoy your experience(s)! --- IMS work --- 08:51 Annette Kemnitz HI Matt, Merry Christmas to you and your family I've been wondering which of the ND profile's is the 'private' site for NDers only? I tired of hearing some of my 'friends' dog my growth and learning process. Including feelings or thoughts I have along the way..... I just wanna feel safe to share my stuff and know I will be getting positive feedback even if it's constructive critic~ I feel so lost and sad inside Matt due to many circumstances, but I'm doing my best to get through it and the Holidays in as many dif positive ways as I can, for Jayden and with Jayden (of course for myself too)!! Since I can't get to a group I need to reach out here again, and more instead of keeping it inside~ Thanks for listening and for caring about people! OxO please tell your family Merry Christmas and Happy 2013!!! - Hi Annette! Merry Christmas to you and yours, as well!! :) Paula and I wish you the very best this holiday season. Here's the PRIVATE ND group (below). Please feel free to post here... your involvement would be most welcome. How can we help? Please share. https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewDirectionsWorkshop/ love you and miss you! - Matt --- Diane Clouse Merry Christmas to you and all those you love, Matt! We miss you. Steve is doing awful. He is on the Hep-C drugs. Today is a shot and 12 pills. The rest of the week is just 12 pills. Somedays he can hardly walk up the stairs. YIKES! Merry Christimas to you, too, crazy lady! Sorry to hear about Stevie-boy. Is it the drugs that's are making it so bad? I assume he's still ornery, even without walking, ey?!? --- Aimee Janette Wegner PFC Andrew Wegner Operation Enduring Freedom Delta 3-17 Cav Task Force Light Horse FOB Kandahar APO AE 09355 --- Here are 7 things to GIVE UP in order to end anxiety. 1. Give up your resistance to the anxious bodily sensations you feel. (Allow them to be present through acceptance) 3. Give up the thoughts that say 'I cant handle this'. (You can, -your body can. ) 4. Give up thinking there is something mentally wrong with you. (Anxiety is the result of an over sensitized nervous system) 4. Give up your need to micro-manage your body. (Your body is amazing -trust it to do its job) 5. Give up being so hard on yourself. (You are doing so well for dealing with this -you are truly brave) 6. Give up seeing anxiety as a curse. (You will grow stronger as a result of this) 7. Give up thinking your anxiety will last forever. (It wont) So think about the above over the holidays and please make sure to also take time out and look after yourself. (You can't be there for them if you are not there for yourself) Have a wonderful Christmas! Barry www.panicaway.com - 09:38 sent to Doc --- IMS --- 1pm Sarah B. here to work on orders order labels with Sarah B. 47x(!) hunting ~20 Starters/1/2Ls/1/2CSs and one emergency (Sarah Edwards) 4:58 USPS (just) $101.10 movies at Figuredos MLCU, drop off Sarah B. home clean, burn trash, compost, sweep 7ish PR and Josh over for tacos and wrap presents, nice 9ish movie? nope, crashola to Bed... yes, in the bed, me, to sleep, boom. --- 12.22 Sat. 03ish up shower cut toe nails (biggest chunk of toenail ever!) clean bathroom a bit "Major Payne" (!!) 2 poops (yay, more?) 04:20 here 04:42 Sarah B. PP = 3118 -101.10 USPS -33 AM/PM Willits -97 Target -9.99 Best Buy PR's phone insurance -60 Google AdWords +3 subs >> M&D's Anniversary tomorrow! --- 05:12 Jennifer Cecere Supposed to be in sacramento all weekend!! Can't wait to see everyone....everybody pray for me that I don't have any bad luck....last time I got a flat tire.. I definitely can't afford any extra. Happy end of the world day everyone. Lol! Like · · 18 hours ago via mobile · Scott Formanek and 2 others like this. Scott Formanek you should come by on sunday before you leave. 13 hours ago · Like Good for you, Jen! Going to see grandma? We were there a few weeks ago, saw your parental units, and Heather, but missed you and your fam. Go see Scotto too, it's not far. Have fun. --- Lyle T. Lachmuth Since my near-fatal car crash I have said, "I do not fear death" ... I realized recently that instead I fear dying, as in a mall shooting, fire, or anything violent. Is this toooo dark for Dec 22? so it's the method of dying, not the dying itself, ey? Check out the pictures that are in your head... what are they trying to tell you/teach you/warn you... and know you can change/modify/let go of them (per NLP)! --- nancy TriCities called Marshall, 707-995-8600 Officer Guyean, FBPD called at 04:50 Angela Norton, was picked up on a DUI and keeps insisting that someone from PS should come pick her up Please call Officer Guyean, FBPD 310-876-7217 --- 05ish woke up paula called sheriff, shes' going to jail in Ukaih --- 06:55 Arati Suryawanshi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV5Ab_sfqb8 Celebrating EQ in India with the Colors of Education. EQ is becoming a world-wide phenomenon as people discover the powerful teachings, healings, connections and results available to us when we embrace our right-brain Emotional Intelligence! 6Seconds celebrates EQ in India at SHIKSHNOTSAV 2012 - The Colors of Education #EQ #EmotionalIntelligence http://sco.lt/.. Well done, Arati, thanks for celebrating EQ! Thanks too to Josh Freedman and fam for spreading the good news about EQ to the world! Joshua Freedman Part of the Six Seconds' founding team, Josh is one of the world leading experts on emotions, change, and performance. One of a handful of people with proven experience creating organizational performance through EQ, Freedman leads a world-wide network of EQ change agents. --- LI-EIN Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? In education, there's a new buzz word in classroom management, "emotional objectivity", and it's rightfully said the key to it is "mindset" (Robert Marzano). That's kind of a strange combination of words when you think about it. I think his point is that teachers often let emotion contaminate their judgement. I'd say anger does a lot, and anxiety is another. I don't know that it's even possible to separate emotion entirely from decision making because of the way the brain works, and not sure you'd want to if you could. I've always taught that e-motion can be helpful energy to move, to motivate you to make your plight better. Without it, you might not have to energy to do so. But obviously, we've all seen times when we and others generate much too much for our own good and the good of others. I like to call this a dysfunctional amount of emotion. Strong emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt and loneliness often exert a powerful influence over peoples lives, and often cause them to make poor decisions and do things that are unhealthy and self-defeating, and therefore can often be dysfunctional. But a lot of it depends on the frequency, intensity and duration of those feelings. The main way such emotions work against us is that they cause us to become reactive instead of responsive. We become less response-ABLE, and lose response-ability, or the ability to respond in the best possible way. Emotions like frustration, irritation, annoyance, concern, sadness, regret and remorse are qualitatively different than anger, anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt because they have qualitatively different origins. Frustration for example comes from wanting something and not getting it. Anger comes from thinking you need it, and demanding it and not getting it. Obviously the strength of either your wants or demands can vary, and that determines the frequency, intensity and duration of the emotion that results when you don't get what you either want or think you need. Frustration, etc. can be helpful energy to move. For example, if we get frustrated, it can make us want to try harder. If we're concerned, we're more likely to take precautions. Once again, you can have a high or low frequency, intensity or duration of these. I often draw out a half circle, and divide it up into three equal pie slices. In the left slice, I write the word calm. In the center I write functional. And in the right I write dysfunctional. Then I fill in frustration, irritation, concern, sadness, regret and remorse in the center functional slice, and anger, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt in the dysfunctional slice. At one end of each slice I right "low FID" and at the other "high FID". Then imagine an arrow that can move from left to right and back again. If you made a small poster with a movable cardboard arrow, it might even be a good "tool" to help keep track of where you are at any given moment emotionally. Always with the understanding that if we do generate more than is helpful or necessary, it's understandable, part of being human, and nothing to beat up on ourselves for. Whether that emotion is functional or dysfunctional can be determined by asking some simple questions of ourselves or others. 1) What do you really want? 2) How's it working for you to feel the way you do? Does it make it easier or harder to get what you really want.? 3) And if you keep feeling this way, will it be easier or harder to get what you want in the future? And if it's not working, the key is to identify what if any irrational beliefs you might be having, and modify those. The reason being that thoughts cause feelings, not events. And there is a pattern to thought when people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion. We can learn to look for it, and learn how to correct it. And teach others as well. If enough practice is done, we slowly start to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of irrational thoughts and start generating a more functional amount of emotion. Most of us have some dysfunctional cognitive, emotional and behavioral "ruts" by the time we're adults. Once we get "ruts" we basically are stuck with them. But we can create new ones that can compete with the old. We call new cognitive "ruts" GETTING better instead of just temporarily feeling better in one of the many healthy or unhealthy ways there are to do that. Posted by Ray Mathis --- Sex and Money are not taught or even spoken about we need to talk about it "what am I doing about it?" there are 1.2B people in India and every one of them is capable of having sex. --- 9-11 IMS work on Fact Reporting --- noon - 3 to town Christmas shopping at RiteAid, $100 - PP electric scissors for pkp nail polish for PR & Sarah B. snuggies for PR and Josh snacks for doggies at FB Feed 3-5 Nappage(!) some espn (MNF on Saturday - Falcons vs. Lions) 5:20 here Hey, Ctrl-Enter in EditPad does a
horizontal rule (like this) , canceled BESTBUY GSP MT00015784 RICHFIELD MN, $9.99 --- 6:13 from a postcard Bri mailed us from school... mcp testimonial Dear Grandma and Grandpa Perelstein, Thank you for allway doing whatever you can to make me happy and get me lots of things. I love every second of the time I get to spend with you guys and all the road trips I go with you. I love you guys so much. Thanks for being in my life! Love allways, Bri --- Children who experienced unreliable interactions with an experimenter waited for a mean time of three minutes and two seconds on the marshmallow task, while youngsters who experienced reliable interactions held out for 12 minutes and 2 seconds. Only one of the 14 children in the unreliable group waited the full 15 minutes, compared to nine children in the reliable condition. “I was astounded that the effect was so large,” says Aslin. “I thought that we might get a difference of maybe a minute or so. You don’t see effects like this very often.” In prior research, children’s wait time averaged between 5.71 and 6.08 minutes, the authors report. By comparison, manipulating the environment doubled wait times in the reliable condition and halved the time in the unreliable scenario. - http://casel.org/why-it-matters/sel-faqs/ - Change.Org Petitioned The School System Say 'Yes' to Teaching Emotional Intelligence In Our Schools Petition by Aimee Colbert fort worth, TX EVERY SIGNATURE COUNTS! Since the country has been allowing programs that educate people on emotional intelligence, crime rates and instances of bullying has dramatically decreased since 1994. However, there's still a long way to go in the war against student violence and bullying. Studies show that programs which promote emotional intelligence, and peer mediating, help to reduce recidivism. If similar programs were taught on a regular basis and were apart of our children's curriculum's, we would see a dramatic drop in behavioral problems in schools across the country. It's time to send our school system a message and let them know how we feel about it. Something you should know: In 2004, Illinois became the first state in the nation to require all school districts to teach social and emotional skills as part of their curriculum and daily school life.Students enrolled in such programs scored at least 10 percentage points higher on achievement tests than peers who weren’t. At the same time, discipline problems were cut in half. Sign this petition to support teaching emotional intelligence in our schools. What is emotional intelligence? Self awareness One of the basic emotional skills involves being able to recognize feelings and put a name on them. It is also important to be aware of the relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions. What thought sparked off that feeling? What feeling was behind that action? Managing emotions It is important to realize what is behind feelings. Beliefs have a fundamental effect on the ability to act and on how things are done. Many people continually give themselves negative messages. Hope can be a useful asset. In addition, finding ways to deal with anger, fear, anxiety and sadness is essential: learning how to soothe oneself when upset, for example. Understanding what happens when emotions get the upper hand and how to gain time to judge if what is about to be said or done in the heat of the moment is really the best thing to do. Being able to channel emotions to a positive end is a key aptitude. Empathy Getting the measure of a situation and being able to act appropriately requires understanding the feelings of the others involved and being able to take their perspective. It is important to be able to listen to them without being carried away by personal emotions. There's a need to be able to distinguish between what others do or say and personal reactions and judgements. Communicating Developing quality relationships has a very positive effect on all involved. What feelings are being communicated to others? Enthusiasm and optimism are contagious as are pessimism and negativity. Being able to express personal concerns without anger or passivity is a key asset. Co-operation Knowing how and when to take the lead and when to follow is essential for effective co-operation. Effective leadership is not built on domination but the art of helping people work together on common goals. Recognizing the value of the contribution of others and encouraging their participation can often do more good than giving orders or complaining. At the same time, there is a need to take responsibilities and recognize the consequences of decisions and acts and follow through on commitments. Resolving conflicts In resolving conflicts there is a need to understand the mechanisms at work. People in conflict are generally locked into a self-perpetuating emotional spiral in which the declared subject of conflict is rarely the key issue. Much of the resolution of conflicts calls on using the other emotional skills mentioned here. When we fail to teach our children how to get along and have successful relationships in and out of the home, we fail to ensure the success of our children's future. If something is not done, we could see higher instances of violence according to statistics. We can't afford to let our children be victims anymore and we cannot let them fall through the cracks. Dr. Maurice Elias, a leading child psychologist, researcher and expert on SEL from Rutgers University, explains the dangers of omitting social-emotional programs from our children's classrooms. He maintains that "many of the problems in our schools are the result of social and emotional malfunction and debilitation from which too many children have suffered and continue to bear the consequences. Children in class who are beset by an array of confused or hurtful feelings cannot and will not learn effectively. In the process of civilizing and humanizing our children, the missing piece is, without doubt, social and emotional learning. Protestations that this must be outside of and separate from traditional schooling are misinformed, harmful and may doom us to continued frustration in our academic mission and the need for Herculean efforts in behavioral damage control and repair. The roster of social casualties will grow ever larger." With your support we can develop and institute emotional intelligence courses just like many schools have already done across this nation. Thank you for signing! For more info: http://casel.org/why-it-matters/sel-faqs/ Statistics on violence in schools: http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu/violence-in-schools/national-statistics.html To: The School System, Aimee Colbert Project I just signed the following petition addressed to: the school system. ---------------- Begin teaching emotional intelligence in schools across the country. Since the country has been allowing programs that educate people on emotional intelligence, crime rates and instances of bullying has dramatically decreased since 1994. However, there's still a long way to go in the war against student... --- Bullying May Contribute To Lower Test Scores, Curry Researchers Find http://curry.virginia.edu/press-releases/bullying-may-contribute-to-lower-test-scores-curry-researchers-find Published on 08/08/11, in News » Press Releases August 5, 2011 — Students at Virginia high schools in which they report a high rate of bullying post significantly lower scores on standardized tests required for graduation, according to research being presented Sunday by University of Virginia researchers at the 119th annual convention of the American Psychological Association, being held in Washington, D.C. Dewey Cornell “Our study suggests that a bullying climate may play an important role in student test performance,” said Dewey Cornell, a clinical psychologist and professor of education at U.Va.‘s Curry School of Education. “This research underscores the importance of treating bullying as a schoolwide problem rather than just an individual problem.” D-R The research, which is part of the ongoing Virginia High School Safety Study (http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu/prevention/vhss.html), compiled surveys about bullying in 2007 from more than 7,300 ninth-grade students and almost 3,000 teachers at 284 high schools across Virginia. Approximately two-thirds of the students were white; 22 percent were African-American and 5 percent were Hispanic. The study found that schoolwide passing rates on standardized exams for Algebra I, Earth Science and World History were 3 percent to 6 percent lower in schools where students reported a more severe bullying climate. “This difference is substantial because it affects both the educational success of many students who don’t pass the exams and the school’s ability to meet federal requirements,” said Cornell, who is also director of the U.Va. Youth Violence Project (http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu). Cornell, Erin Nekvasil, Anna Lacey Under the federal No Child Left Behind Act, students must receive a passing grade on the standardized tests to graduate from high school, and at least 70 percent of a school’s students must pass the tests for the school to keep its state accreditation in Virginia. The high school freshman year is pivotal, Cornell said; research has shown that poor academic performance in ninth grade predicts a higher probability of high school drop-outs. The survey defined bullying as “the use of one’s strength or popularity to injure, threaten or embarrass another person on purpose. Bullying can be physical, verbal or social. It is not bullying when two students of about the same strength argue or fight.” The No Child Left Behind Act puts schools under immense pressure to improve standardized test scores, Cornell said. “This study supports the case for schoolwide bullying prevention programs as a step to improve school climate and facilitate academic achievement,” he said. Effective anti-bullying programs must take a schoolwide approach involving students, teachers and parents, Cornell said. The programs should provide help for bullying victims, counseling and discipline for bullies, and education for bystanders to discourage them from supporting bullying. The U.Va. study was co-authored by Anna Lacey, a graduate student in clinical and school psychology, and the research was supported by a grant from the U.S. Justice Department’s Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. The study couldn’t explain the reasons for a bullying climate at some schools or the causes of lower test scores at those schools, but the researchers offered several theories. The academic performance of students in schools with pervasive bullying may suffer because students are less engaged in learning due to fears about bullying or due to a greater level of school disorder associated with bullying, they said. Teachers also may be less effective because they spend more time focused on discipline, they added. Cornell said he doesn’t believe bullying has increased in schools, but media attention has highlighted the serious problem. “We have always had bullying in our schools,” he said. “What has changed is we have become more aware of bullying due to a series of high-profile tragic cases involving school shootings and suicides. “Our society does not permit harassment and abuse of adults in the workplace, and the same protections should be afforded to children in school. --- Emotional Intelligence Test http://www.supernova.com/BethemilMofinfytoya/blog/460943/Emotional-Intelligence-Test POSTED BY BethemilMofinfytoya | 38 VIEWS Getting an athlete is not just about brute energy. It can take a selected amount of intelligence in buy to master the many plays, drills and formations necessary for the sport. For instance, soccer gamers should memorize hefty playbooks and be prepared to recall a perform at the drop of a hat. But in purchase to become a best athlete, you will require far more than brawns and brains. You want the capability to do the job with some others, to effectively take care of behavior and navigate the social complexities demanded for staff cohesion. In small, you want emotional intelligence to complete very well on the industry. Not sure if you have any emotional intelligence? Try ei workshop to get out. The Four Parts of Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is comprised of 4 core abilities, all which engage in a purpose in the athlete’s capacity to come to be a excessive performer. These four expertise, tied in with their marriage to sports general performance, are as follows: one.Self-Awareness Self-consciousness is the potential to accurately understand emotions and keep knowledgeable of one’s emotional state. All through a game, it is simple for players to develop into emotional and eliminate their emphasis. In these kinds of a aggressive natural environment, players can very easily get caught up in the sport. Even so, by realizing your have emotional state, you are greater able to compose by yourself in the discipline and accomplish appropriately. 2.Self Management Emotional intelligence is a lot more than just recognizing emotions and emotions. Self conduite is one other key part and calls for the power to manage one’s emotions and adapt to modifying circumstances. When tensions operate excessive and the clock is managing minimal, it is important for athletes to be in a position to retain their awesome. If they let feelings get the greater of them, it may outcome in a penalty or even a suspension from the activity. three.Social Consciousness Social consciousness establishes the individual’s capacity to decide up on emotions of many others and be able to fully grasp the social networks around them. A essential skill for coaches, captains, and crew members alike, the capability to empathize and hook up with other individuals qualified prospects to superior teamwork, cohesion and collaboration. Gamers on the industry with higher social consciousness can superior anticipate their staff member’s psychological state and whether or not they are capable of managing a engage in. By realize the feelings, gamers able to benefit from them to increase their sport and grow to be a best doing athlete. 4.Romantic relationship Administration At last, romantic relationship management is the potential to use the consciousness of your very own and other’s emotions to deal with interactions. Utilizing this recognition, people today are capable to inspire, impact, and control other individuals. Connection conduite is a essential ability for leaders, and equips them with a broad set of techniques crucial for team administration. In addition, this trait plays a position in conflict management, crucial for settling disputes amid crew members. For captains, coaches, and other leader positions in sports activities, romance administration will help them make a cohesive workforce that collaborates effortlessly in the industry. Nevertheless, if you sense as however you absence in these features, don’t despair. Emotional intelligence is not a static excellent in contrast to individuality or IQ, it can be trained. With good enough follow, an athlete can create and boost their emotional intelligence, influencing their personal means to develop into a top rated performer in the subject. --- 7:49 LI-EIN reached 43,333 members! --- Choose it. If we gotta do it anyway, Choose it. - Puts us back in control - (we're choosing it, anywayz!) -Attitude adjustment - No Victim! --- 7:54 FB-MCP Merry Christmas to all! Turn up your speakers and sign along to this happy melody -- guaranteed to brighten your mood, and season! Enjoy :) http://gpsinformation.info/main/merryxmas.swf --- Turn Breakdowns into Breakthroughs! How to handle life, even when it doesn't go your way --- ND Brochure Adding EQ to IQ Adding IQ to EQ Reason to Emotion Passion to Intellect Right-brain to left Affective to Cognitive Opens an entire new realm of possibilities There's Hope and there's Help Benefits of ND: - Courage - Completing the Past - Peace of Mind (and Heart!) - Deal with it! - Be powerful about it, not a victim! - Getting the results you want - Arrows out - Lighter, happier, More Present - Doing it, feeling it, seeing it - Not just 'information' but deeper, a Discovery in the realm of Knowing once you discover this side of yourself, you can't undiscover it. - Freedom from Resentment and Regret - We have tremendous capacity to survive... but how much are we dragging our painful past with us. - Self-Love - Enjoy who you are - Zest for life - Paradigm shift - Authentic - Be Present Left-brain tries to 'make sense' of the trauma 1. Ouch! Pain and anger are experienced, but not expressed 2. Shut up and Shut Down! What do we do with all those feelings as a child? 3. Handle the rest of life Wouldn't it be nice to find out that you, other people, and the world were NOT as bad as you thought/believed/learned?!? it's wonderful to be Wrong sometimes! Overcome: - Resigned and Complacent (aka depressed) - Where you haven't been effective - Long-standing Resentment, Regret and Disappointment - Living in constant pain ND is 2-and-a-half days of discovering, laughing, crying, connecting, loving, healing, freeing not just left-brain, cognitive information (you already know so much)... it's right-brain, affective, experiential, impactful, discovery so you can Transform your life, from here on! There was 1 moment in time when you Decided to be who you are today probably unconscious surprisingly profound, as we look back across our lives to uncover all the things we've said, done and been AS A RESULT OF the trauma we experienced as a child. Turn your Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) into Post Traumatic Growth - Resilency - Freedom from Resentment and Regret - Overcoming - Learning - Experience - Maturity - Strength - Clarity - Understanding - Appreciation - Knowledge - Personal Power Ever thought the world is callus, uncaring, and cold? come meet people who are NOT like that. There's Hope and there's Help! --- 20 Kids' Flicks That Make Grown Men and Women Cry http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20609141_20312065,00.html?xid=outbrainfam Bambi The Iron Giant Dumbo Old Yeller Annie ET Watership Down The Neverending Story The Man in the Moon Lion King Wall-E Black Stallion My Dog Skip Born Free Charlotte's Web Babe A Little Princess Fly Away Home Milo and Otis Fox and the Hound --- 8:48 LI-EIN I keep my hope alive by believing / knowing that EQ has sooo many answers for me, for us, and for the world! We have documented that EQ has created SIGNIFICANT improvements in us as individuals, as well as in our personal, business, academic, social and even physical lives. EQ skills are highly teachable, inexpensive to disseminate, easy to remember and recall, and can be most enjoyable to learn, teach and practice. Going into the new year of 2013, I am optimistic, as Emotional Intelligence gives me hope for a better, safer, happier and more successful world. EQRocks! --- up to house for pickup dinner movie (don't remember name, but good one) crash --- 12.23 HA,M&D 03:?? up to poop (2-3x, and 3 yesterday, finally!... good to be home) ESPN Calvin Johnson, Lions, beat Jerry Rice's single season catch yardage record of 1,848 yards, going for 2k (but Lions have lost last 6x in a row... not good) 04:35 LI-EIN 43,333 Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? Emotions guide and propel the thinking process that leads to a decisions. Emotions can misguide because an emotion is always a result of beliefs created by some past experience or learning, applied to the present situation. Human mind seems to have been wired to look out for past dangers and opportunities in the present situation. Emotional Intelligence would ensure that emotions of the past do not tangle freely with the realities of the present. Posted by Ambuj Jain Tarsicio V. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi!, my name is Tarsio Valero. I'm Spanish currently living in Spain. I started to be interested in Emotional Intelligence when living in Australia from 1999 - 2000. I could realize how important can be the attitude on the result. Now I am leading with “industrial continuous improvement” with lean applications where the attitude is the base to success Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: If there were one characteristic (or trait) that especially leads to leadership ineffectiveness, what is it? By the way, I'm writing a book, so your feedback is helpful. Thank you for your insights. One of the worst qualities in a boss is when they automatically assume the worst motives from their employees, especially when it is combined with playing arbitrary favorites and inability to recognize or acknowledge when they are wrong. This can manifest itself in many ways, for example “publically shooting the messenger” when an employee points out a defect in a work process in an honest effort to improve the process and the leader assumes that the employee is motivated by some selfish reason. A good leader should actually make the effort to investigate motives of voiced employee concerns, from an initial assumption that there is a sincere desire to make the process better for multiple stakeholders. Assuming the worst sows distrust, because it is natural for human beings to reciprocate distrust with distrust. This will result in an environment where the followers learn to keep their mouths shut when they see danger or inefficiency in a process and blindly follow orders without any ownership in the results. This group will eventually be full of “yes man” followers locked in group think. Information from the frontlines stops flowing upwards to management and management losses touch with what is happening in the group. Performance will suffer drastically. Posted by Scott Ullman - Emotional Intelligence would ensure that emotions of the past do not tangle freely with the realities of the present. - Ambuj Jain --- , fix printer, where paper jammed inside yay! , print Euc instructions for 30+ orders today and more labels --- 04:43 9 Simple Steps to Improve Your Health (Without Joining a Gym) http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/its-your-body/9-simple-steps-to-improve-your-health Laughter, the arts, touch, sleep. What you can do in your everyday life to get healthier. Document Actions Email Print Feed Share by Sven Eberlein posted Sep 20, 2012 CLICK HERE TO GET THIS ARTICLE AS A POSTER! Ask a centenarian the secret ingredients to a long and healthy life and you aren’t likely to hear “doctors, drugs, and fad diets.” We all know that there’s more to our overall well-being than treating symptoms or the occasional replacement of a part. The good news is that scientists in various fields are discovering ever more ways we can keep ourselves healthy without expensive medication and complicated workout regimens. Here are nine simple, scientifically proven—and sometimes surprising—ways to empower yourself to make the right choices for your body and health. 1. Laugh to your heart's delight “Laughter might be one of the only things in life that can be done outside of moderation and still reap the benefits,” muses Dr. Michael Miller, director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center. If you ever LOL you don’t need proof of the healing powers of a good belly laugh. Dr. Miller’s studies show that laughter expands blood vessels, and endorphins released in response to laughter activate the chemical nitric oxide in the inner lining of our blood vessels to promote vascular health. Seriously.| STUDY: “Inverse association between sense of humor and coronary heart disease” http://www.internationaljournalofcardiology.com/article/S0167-5273%2801%2900470-3/abstract 2. Age artfully Digging the old paint brush or the dusty guitar out of the closet is always a good idea. However, for aging baby boomers, getting back into the creative swing of the rockin’ ’60s is a matter of health insurance. Research shows that seniors engaged in activities like singing, creative writing, or painting are healthier and happier than those who aren’t. Whether this boost in the immune system is from a heightened sense of personal growth or from feeling more socially engaged, it’s clear that the body likes it when the imagination roams freely. STUDY: “The Creativity and Aging Study” http://www.nea.gov/resources/accessibility/CnA-Rep4-30-06.pdf 3. Work with friends When you’re shopping around for a job with great health benefits, pay attention to the office vibe. Israeli researchers found that people who get along with their co-workers in a friendly and supportive work environment live longer. Note: Similar support from the boss had no effect on mortality, so get acquainted with your peers before accepting the job. STUDY: “Work-Based Predictors of Mortality” http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/hea-30-3-268.pdf 4. Get a massage You can never go wrong with a massage, but research shows significant benefits for overall health. Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute says massage therapy slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure and stress hormones. The decrease in stress hormones increases your body’s natural killer cells, which ward off viruses, bacteria, and cancer cells. “We’re finding biological changes associated with a single massage session,” says Mark Rapaport, Chief of Psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine. Added bonus for massages from loved ones: good for body, mind, relationship, and wallet. STUDY: “A Preliminary Study of the Effects of a Single Session of Swedish Massage…” http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/acm.2009.0634 5. Eat your carotenoids It’s no secret that people feel good when they look good. New evidence suggests that fruits and vegetables, in addition to their many other benefits, give our skin a healthful glow. Scottish researchers found that eating lots of carotenoid-rich fruits and veggies like kale, cabbage, broccoli, tomatoes, peppers, or peaches gives our skin a slightly yellower tone, making us look—and feel—healthier and more attractive. If it works for pallid Scots, you know it’ll work for the rest of us. STUDY: “You Are What You Eat” http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0032988 6. Chat with the neighbors People are healthier when they have a strong, localized community. A 50-year study centered around Roseto, Penn., a close-knit community of Italian-Americans, showed the lowest rates of heart disease in the nation—until the town became more “suburbanized” in the 1960s. Many people living in housing cooperatives report improved emotional and physical health. As social animals, having playmates is part of our survival strategy. STUDY: “The Roseto effect” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1695733/ 6 Ways Communities Put Health First From play space for kids to AIDS activism: the fight against disease goes grassroots. 7. Sleep more Become a dream catcher and stop being a weight watcher. According to researcher William Killgore, when people get less sleep they tend to feel more hungry and to crave carbohydrates, particularly sweets. “If a person feels excessively sleepy,” says Killgore, “it’s likely that they haven’t been getting adequate sleep and may be prone toward eating more than they want to.” If you’re plagued by frequent snack attacks, cure them with a good night’s sleep. STUDY: Preliminary findings, Killgore, et al., Harvard Medical School 8. Scrub without toxics There are alternatives to toxic household products like bleach. A University of Florida study found that a mixture of vinegar, lemon juice, and baking soda significantly reduces bacteria. Good Housekeeping microbiologist Gina Marino put it to the test and was impressed with how well vinegar worked in fighting germs and mold. Adding a little elbow grease on the tough spots helps keep your gym dues low. STUDY: “Bacterial Reduction Test on Food Surfaces” http://www.tersano.com/pdf/FLA_FoodSurfaceReport.pdf 9. Hope like your life depends on it We know enough about anxiety and depression to drag us down for several lifetimes, but a truly uplifting new study by Harvard’s School of Public Health gives reasons to rejoice. “Happy and optimistic people with a purpose in life tend to have a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease,” says researcher Julia K. Boehm. So keep hope alive, but remember that in the words of the late, great Vaclav Havel, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.” STUDY: “The Heart’s Content” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22506752 --- Better Eating Through Mindfulness How can increasing your awareness of tasting, craving, and satisfaction be a tool for healthier eating? Here’s what psychologists have to say. http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/better-eating-through-mindfulness --- Fixed printer! once I turned it off, there was no pressure and the paper came right out... yay! printing Euc instructions and order labels PP = 3035 -21 Rite Aid, PR and Josh's Snuggies -91 Rite Aid, other presents, incl. electric scissors for pkp, which weren't strong enuf --- 05:16 LI-EIN made screenshots of group demographics and activities. Post Demographics Our EQ group now has over 43,000 members, and growing! Start a discussion, post a comment and invite your friends and colleagues. Share the GOOD NEWS about how Emotional Intelligence can make significant improvements in employee retention, team-building, customer support, and sales, AND in the personal, academic, social, even physical areas of life. EQRocks! --- prosocial behavior, “voluntary behavior intended to benefit another.” paused for a bit --- 07:10 AA Due to storms, we have some of the most beautiful, banana-shaped Euc leaves available right now! They're blown down from the tops of the tallest Eucs (>100' tall), that I can't usually reach. Wanna try some? Happy Holidays to you! - Matt --- 07:14 GC More storms... more beautiful, banana-shaped Euc leaves available right now... wanna try some? Happy Holidays to you and yours! - Matt :gidea: --- 07:21 FB-EP More storms... more beautiful, hard-to-reach, super-fresh, banana-shaped Euc leaves available right now (see pic below). Wanna try some? HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you and yours! - Matt (and the grand-girls) --- Euc Marketing FB-EP GC AA $60/mo on Google. ------------------------------ result = $2k/mo in sales for $60 in expenses --- 07:27 Ginger Merry Christmas to all! Turn up your speakers and sign along to this happy melody -- guaranteed to brighten your mood, and season! Enjoy :) http://gpsinformation.info/main/merryxmas.swf gpsinformation.info 2Like · · Unfollow Post · Share Skip Swies, Bruce Babcock, Debbie Pacheco Oppie and 2 others like this. Yvonne Ellen Danks Marcellino This is great! Thanks Matt 11 hours ago · Unlike · 1 Matt Perelstein Thanks, Y. Love the big finish to the song... I've rewound it 3-4x already... smiles to you and yours! 11 hours ago · Like · 1 Ginger Larson I don't know how to "sign"! Hahaha 16 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Matt Perelstein wow, I read that sentence many times before posting it, and never caught that... oh well. I guess we could do Sign language along with the song... but Singing would be way more fun. Thanks, Ginger! Happy Holidays to you and yours! Ginger Larson Just messin' with ya! Remember that time you wrote the author of some lame economics textbook re an error and got $5.00? Matt Perelstein Yes, I do... lol! I find typos all the time... in fact, I've edited two EQ books for typos. Just the other day, a nice restaurant in town got a new menu... I found a typo, or two, asked the waitress for a pen, and found 30 more typos which I marked up for them (they have since re-printed it!). Not trying to be picky... just trying to help. Miss ya! --- Landmark Forum Intro Video http://www.landmarkeducation.com/The_Landmark_Forum/Introduction_to_The_Landmark_Forum.aspx did the course make a profound, lasting difference in your life? Benefits 1. Increased ability to relate effectively with others even when there's a problem everything can be worked out 2. Increased personal productivity and effectiveness limits to effectiveness are self-imposed decisions from our past are effecting us today 3. Confidence We have areas of our lives where we feel confident, but in others, we doubt ourselves, and hold back. Imagine yourself, stepping into situations, where you were once limited, but now have the confidence to act in the face of self-doubt, and even fear. 4. Making the right choices and pursuing what's important You will come to relate to Choice in a whole new way Create and pursue what's important 5. Living Life Fully You can go after what you want, bring passion to your commitments live without regret, and express yourself successfully Results Clarify Goals and Values Helped Cope with Challenges More committed and motivated better relationships and enhanced communication with family, friends and fellow workers Well worth the cost Profound, lasting difference in the way they live their lives Significant increase in their income of 25% or more How it works alter what's possible with you and your life bring about breakthroughs in a very limited amount of time. positive and permanent shift in the quality of your life. The methods are more like coaching than teaching, more like conversation than lecture, while conventional education methods focus on content, adding facts, rules or skills, our method deals with context, the framework in which content exists Whether we are limited in life, whether it's a fear of moving forward or lack of confidence there is something we are blind to, that is holding that limitation in place uncover and examine blind spots that limit what's really Possible in certain areas of your life You could find out how those limits got there and address them for what they really are. You'll find the constraints of the past disappear. The change is immediate, dramatic, and without effort. It is a breakthrough. let's take a look inside the LF... You're leve of effectiveness and your satisfaction is NOT a function of what you are doing. or even the way you are doing what you're doing In fact, at the source of effectiveness and satisfaction is the context, inside of which you're doing what you're doing. In life, the context goes unexamined. what do I mean by context? The context is what's way in the background. that shapes your relationship to the content, or the foreground of your life. story to illustrate... man walking, came across people who were intently chipping away at blocks of stone asked them, "what are you doing?" one said, "I'm chipping stone." but 1 man looked very different from all the others, in that he looked like he was really Enjoying what he was doing, and the quality of his work was distinct from all the others. asked them, "what are you doing?" I'm building a cathedral. both doing the same thing, they're experience, and the quality of the work they were both doing was effected by the Context. the context is decisive. The problem is that the context is so far in the background, we don't see the context. we just deal with what's right in front of us to deal with. how does this apply? ex; mother gives you advice. do you have an advice-giving mother? mine says, "are you eating properly? are you sleeping properly? am I wearing warm-enough clothes? I used to find my mother very irritating! but what I found was that it wasn't that my mother was irritating, it was the context through which I viewed my mother was that she doesn't trust me, and she's interfering in my life. when I saw the context that allowed me to shift the context of which I related to my mother I found that my mother is completely committed to make sure my life turns out, and she finds ways to participate and contribute to my life. That shift in context has totally altered my experience of my mother, the quality of our relationship, and also how I participate with her. I no longer avoid her, but Welcome her. She hasn't altered. What's altered is the context by which I view her. because in life, the context is what's decisive. - of everything in the universe, how much of it do you think we actually know? we know what we know, and we know we don't know. people live their whole lives tryng to get ahead in live by moving things from what they know they don't know to what they know. but they miss... there's a whole other domain, that's out here. it's what is it we haven't even considered? what is it we haven't even imagined? right there, you can call that our "Blind Spots" as human beings. in a car, there are spots you just can't see. but that's where the troubles lie and that's where the breakthrough thinking comes from from that domain, what we don't know that we don't know You're going to have that opportunity to discover your blind spots in life eliminate the blind spots and eliminate what limits you in life. Discover your blind spots and you get to think in new ways. 1. that's where the trouble lies you get to think in ways you've never thought before for your own life. 2. That's where the breakthroughs come from That's where transformation happens. - Realm of What Happened the facts, Uniquely human, because of language Interpretation or story about what happened. As long as you remember that all the interpretation and the story is NOT the truth. we look at our story, overlaying what really happened, and we think they are one and the same. - this is this way I'm a certain way. My parents are a certain way. we get stuck in believing that people, and things, and life are fixed and 'a certain way' there's nothing wrong with that, but it leaves us with very little power. when we interact in relationships, at home and at work we come to believe that the best we can do is to figure out how to move the piece around conversations we have about __ have some fundamantel element of consider the possibility: it's not reality, it's Occurring what occurs for people lives in language the language creates the way other people occur for us. the conversations we have about our father, or other people conversations create the way you occur for yourself and other people have the power to shift the way those situations occur, the way we we see others, and the way we see ourselves, so those possibilities can occur. --- LF conclusions: - EVERYTHING I see, hear, feel, and think is an Interpretation of what happened... NOT what happened. - None of it really matters(!) - Life is empty and meaningless. Nothing exists without language, our interpretation Yesterday doesn't exist The Future hasn't come yet Here, now, that's it. It's not gonna 'turn out' ok... this is it. life is inherently insignificant We must let ourselves get to Nothing before we can get to Everything. The future is open to be written. Shakespeare's Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5 http://everything2.com/title/A+tale+told+by+an+idiot%252C+full+of+sound+and+fury%252C+signifying+nothing "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury. Signifying nothing." - MACBETH Wherefore was that cry? SEYTON The queen, my lord, is dead. MACBETH She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. --- plus membership, 5061 auto renewal Plus membership incl. 100 miles Premier for MH 3 people, $267 2010 85 classic, $195, added 3rd person 91 primary, 52 each additional person $195 refund to DU V Monday --- wrapping sewing cooking tomorrow night egg salad eve, rachel's day, tracy --- Lincoln, pretty good to kiddos 4:15 Sarah B. and Krysten here to do 30ish orders --- 10 to bed! --- 12.24 06:00 Up! naturally. done sleeping. nice. FB-IM, Cheryl Hi bro - missing you this holiday. 5:17pm Sorry! Wish we could be together too! Luv you!!! Zen hugs then! Today 06:45 BIG Zen Hugs!!! 07:14 instead of 'missing' me... how about 'enjoying the memory of' me... would that work better? --- 07:20 Thanks you guys for loving Miles so much, but dude,I have a problem here. You know I love you, and want the best for you, right? Well, I gotta ask... what's the 'story' you run thru your mind about your anger and the 'group setting'? I don't wanna get too heavy here on Christmas eve, but that's the first I've heard that "You are not comfortable in a group setting". Is that what keeps you from dealing with your anger, ever? You have grown up knowing what works, how to relieve much of your pain, in a group setting where you have massive support and total, complete compassion, love and encouragement, but something inside you, some 'STORY', some pictures (I'm guessing) are KEEPing you from doing any work in that group setting... one that you grew up in (so you've seen it work over and over)... one that most of your best friends know works... one that both your parents and brothers believe in. What's your huge aversion to Anger? My guess is it's something to do with your parents, prob. the mom. 'Cause you WON'T do it.... not can't...won't. It's contributed to your depression, your cutting, your panic attacks, and probably your relationships with women. In fact, given the choice of dying, or being angry, at this point, I fear that you would chose to die! Consider that you might have a story you tell yourself over and over, inside your head and heart... and it may or may not be TRUE, or correct. I just re-read what 'David' wrote above, and one of the biggest reasons it worked so well for him... saved his life, in fact... was that he was apprehensive, but WILLing to feel -- anger, rage, sadness, fear -- whatever his body wanted to feel, and poof, incredible relief! You, personally, have one of the best emotional support systems around you than most anyone on the planet... please use it. If you don't like the group setting, go see Doc privately, but PLEASE, deal with your anger, directly, powerfully, and honestly. I believe it would change your life, forever. So, ok, off my soap box... sorry... I do care (dammit). So, let's explore this a bit... what is your story? What goes thru your head, and heart, when you think about Anger, or being Angry? --- Hi Skky! Your order shipped out on Friday, as promised. However, the USPS charges extra for tracking, so I don't usually get a number... sorry. Hopefully, it will be there TODAY (or Wednesday at the latest). Enjoy, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! - Matt -- 07:35 it's Christmas eve, please get the app done. we're leaving in a few days. >> bring laptop! --- without god, our week would be Sinday Mournday Tearsday Wasteday Thirstday Fightday Shatterday 7 days without God makes one weak! --- working on D-R some extra wording: - focus on feelings, not judgements, not complaints, not pettiness, feelings. how does that make you feel? If it's a really strong feeling, when, as a child, did you feel similar feelings? How did you feel, as a child? What happened, from the kid's POV? What did you decide then, based on your pain? Do you still agree with that/those decisions? What would you like to redecide now? What thought will you need to change, to support the new decisions? How does that feel? better? Yay. Congrats. Woohoo. Way to go. You did it... You can do it again. See, it's ONLY feelings, and we know how to deal with those! --- 09:17 Mary Romero commented on Can you be "empathic" but not "soft"? Can a business leader be "tough on people" but "gentle on people" or is it an oxymoron? I agree with everyone else's opinions here. Empathy does not equate to 'being soft'. It is having the ability to place yourself in the other's position and understanding the feelings that go along with whatever event occurs/has occurred. I also believe that empathy, in ANY setting, be it work related, family related, frienships, etc. is one of the most important attriubutes one can possess. I will give my own example of working in a juvenile correctional setting. I could be empathetic to the individual's situation as, at times, things happen in their home setting and they feel helpless and hopeless to do anything about it. Yet, I can still be 'hard' enough to make it a teachable moment. By discussing the situation and asking questions like, "What can you do differently in your own life so that you are not in a place of hopeless and helplessness when things happen?" This is just one example. Empathy need not be seen as a 'weakness' and this, is what I am gathering from the client you speak of Joshua. A good question for this person may be, 'is it that you don't want to take the TIME to treat another individual with dignity and respect in order to be empathetic or, do you truly not possess that quality?" Maybe they could try to give you an example of when they WERE empathetic so that you know exactly what you are dealing with. Some people just don't 'get it'....so to speak. --- mcp testimonial Linda K Wall So glad & thankful you are a part (BIG) of my life! Thanks --- ND Testmonials MCP testimonial Glori Celis Wow, I totally forgot about Wed call tonight. Wish I had been there. Troy Celis and I got some extremely sad news tonight. Tory's ex brother in law called and told us Troy's sister committed suicide Nov 29. Troy and I haven't been close to his sister in years but it still sucks. One more casualty of the legacy of extreme kinky belief systems. What made it even worse was the brother in law (who we haven't talked to in over 15 years) was so high or drunk he barely made sense. It took Troy and I back to the insane way of thinking that we grew up in. Everything was extreme and over the top. It makes me even more grateful for all the work Troy and I did to get our emotional health and well being back. Matt Perelstein, you might think you aren't doing enough but Troy could have easily have been his sister all those years ago as many of you remember so I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my family come as far as we have. I am forever grateful for Myron Doc Downing and ND. I also have to thank Troy and I for being smart enough and brave enough to put the concepts into practice. Love you guys! Unlike · · Unfollow Post · December 20 at 12:22am near Lemoore, CA Seen by 33 You, Erika Friedman and Gay Storm like this. Gay Storm Amen, sista. I'm so thankful too, because without you, I might not be where I'm at right now. Everything we do affects someone, even if we might not know it at the time. I'm sad to hear of Troy's sister. It's terrible to lose your family no matter what the circumstances, and I hope that Troy appreciates himself for what he's done to not go down that path. Love you both. December 20 at 12:26am · Like · 2 Matt Perelstein Wow. Sorry, Troy -- love you, dude. Talk to us. What's going thru your heart and mind? thanks, Glori.. you're my positive picture of what's possible with this work! Talk to us Troy... let 'er rip... you're safe here with us. December 20 at 7:30am · Like · 2 Janie Monsalve Shogren Troy and Glori, Wow, you two have been through a lot this year. It just goes to show how strong you are. I am so sad for your pain. You two have changed the legacy because of all your work. Yes, there are countless of us who will always be indebted to Doc and Matt and Paula. But, you have to want to change and there is no question about your willingness to "bring it on" . You are both so good at processing everything that comes at you, so I know you will do the same in this case also. I love you both and so glad you have each other to lean on. Gobs of love to you my dear friends. Sent from my iPad December 20 at 9:53am via · Like · 2 Christine Helman Glori, I have watched your learning process...both you and Troy and the family. You are awesome people. So brave. So committed to making a difference and changing the belief system and the behavior, and so willing to allow your childrens' process. I commend you both for all your hard work and for how you give so much back to others. Just offering a word or two, even if you don't have the answer, is so HUGE! It was for me and Shannah. I admire you very much. December 20 at 11:02am · Like · 2 Glori Celis Thanks Gay Storm Matt Perelstein Janie Monsalve Shogren and Christine Helman for letting me know once again that I make a big difference. I woke up this morning especially grateful for this day and the fact that I do so love my life and how much work I...See More December 20 at 11:25am via mobile · Unlike · 2 Troy Celis Thanks everyone....I am sad,yet not surprized by what has occurred...My background is quite terrible and I too came close to doing the same things...thank god I got help and realized I wasnt going to make it without some real Help...special thanks to Matt and Paula for their sensitivity and support. And to Glori because she knew me better than anyone. My sister only now has maybe some Peace she never attain during her time here. I really only knew her as a child and we never maintained a relationship as adults.....is is tragic. I did love her,bye sweetie December 20 at 6:25pm · Unlike · 3 Linda K Wall Sending my Love to you & Troy --- Matt Perelstein 8:56am Dec 24 HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE to all you/us NDers!! I want you to know how much I appreciate you guys, and this group, and our classes... the difference we are making for each other, how we're setting an example of how to 'be there' for ourselves and others emotionally, and what's possible when people have high EQ! Thank you for putting up with me and my rantings. Please enjoy your holidays as best you can, finding gratitude and appreciation for even the smallest things, and know that you are loved, at least by us silly folks here. - Rosemary Nightingale 9:26am Dec 24 I am grateful you are in our lives. Your caring, support and love, the thread of messages that lite us up. All the best to you and Paula, ND'ers and our whole world. Peace on earth! - Michele Soplata Amen Linda!! We get thru all our hurts and get stronger cause of them. Thank God we have ND. It's helped me grow thru these things and not alone. --- M&D Toyota Ciena Max is gone to Tuscon 22" of Snow! --- 10:14 What baby boomers need to live to 100 By Glenn Ruffenach | MarketWatch – Sat, Jun 23, 2012 5:42 AM EDT Yahoo! editors have selected this article as a favorite of 2012. It first appeared on Yahoo! Finance in June and was one of the most popular stories of the month. Readers pointed out that living a long life can be a mixed blessing if you outlive all your loved ones. "My Dad lived to 103," said user Don C. "When [asked] what he attributed his long life [to], he replied 'Just bad luck.'" Your chances of reaching age 100 could be better than you think — especially if you get some additional sleep and improve your diet. U.S. seniors who make it to their 100th birthdays tend to credit social connections, exercise and spiritual activity as keys to successful aging. Research from UnitedHealthcare looks at centenarians and baby boomers, asking the former about the “secrets of aging success” and evaluating whether the latter are taking the necessary steps to celebrate a 100th birthday. The primary findings: Many boomers are embracing lifestyles that could lead to a long and rewarding life — with two exceptions. More than seven in 10 centenarians — 71% — say they get eight hours or more of sleep each night. By contrast, only 38% of boomers say they get the same amount of rest. And when it comes to eating right, more than eight in 10 centenarians say they regularly consume a balanced meal, compared with just over two-thirds (68%) of baby boomers. The report — “100@100 Survey” (view PDF at UnitedHealthGroup.com) — begins with some startling numbers. As of late 2010, the U.S. had an estimated 72,000 centenarians, according to the Census Bureau. By the year 2050, that number — with the aging of the baby-boom generation — is expected to reach more than 600,000. Meanwhile, an estimated 10,000 boomers each and every day — for the next decade — will turn 65. How to reach 100? Centenarians point to social connections, exercise and spiritual activity as some of the keys to successful aging. Among surveyed centenarians, almost nine in 10 — fully 89% — say they communicate with a family member or friend every day; about two-thirds (67%) pray, meditate or engage in some form of spiritual activity; and just over half (51%) say they exercise almost daily. In each of these areas, baby boomers, as it turns out, match up fairly well. The same percentage of boomers as centenarians — 89% — say they’re in touch with friends or family members on a regular basis. Sixty percent of surveyed baby boomers say spiritual activity is an important part of their lives, and almost six in 10 boomers (59%) exercise regularly. Again, sleep and diet are the two areas where baby boomers come up short. Not surprisingly, the one area where boomers are more active is the workplace. Three-quarters (76%) of surveyed baby boomers say they work at a job or hobby almost every day; that compares with 16% of centenarians. Finally, researchers turned to cultural affairs and asked centenarians and boomers to identify — from a list of 14 notable people (including President Obama, singer Paul McCartney and actors Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts) — their preferred dinner guest. The top choice among centenarians and boomers alike: actress and comedienne Betty White. --- PP = 3075 -101 USPS +5-6x Gwen: I have had everything set up for ages but still was waiting to hear when you got the shipping situated. Can you enter a shipping weight of 0.0 and price of 0 or contact pay pal to figure out how to get free shipping working on certificates? --- christmas eve at Rachel's. she was a wonderful, gratious host. i had too much and couldn't drive,,, p not happy,,, threw lettuce at me. awesome thoughts, tho... see D-RSteps(!) PR, Josh, Leela, Ernie, D_, Constance(?), Ed, D__ (safeway deli) ham and mega fixings, ate 4-5 bites of soup, then chewed a piece of ham for about 20 minutes or better(!) then 2-3 more bites of PR's Potato Lentil soup ... and that's it --- 9:35 (I'm trying to write to teach/make a point/or two, as well as make the reading flow interestingly and crisply along... tweedle dee, tweedle dum...) --- D-R T's pause here in chair --- 12.25 MXMAS2All $50 Gift Cert at Amazon ordered, received, printed, folded, give! 03:29 It's impossible to help others without helping yourself. The most important things in life are human relations. I found that out too late. - Katharine Susannah Prichard (1883 - 1969) “My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” - Bob Hope Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped. - African Proverb --- 03:37 Sanjoli Chimni Pande via FB Wow, Sanjoli... thanks for thinking of me! Thanks for all you do to spread EQ to the world. Merry Christmas to you and yours, too! 10:28am Barbara Martell via FB Merry Christmas and May God bless you and your Loved ones! 9:11am Matt Perelstein Wow, thanks, Barbara!! Merry Christmas to you and yours, too! --- 04:08 PP = 2651 Quintillion (Gwen) Hi. MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours! I just checked on PayPal, and it looks like the codes below should work for a button... and the button should take care of the shipping automatically... or am I missing something? Try it on a page and let's test it.
(see the value="2RY5NN8W3FFEY" in the button above? PayPal has to give unique codes for every button built, so just for fun, I was checking to see how many combinations of letters that is... 12 digits of 36 characters (A-Z,0-9) = 4,738,381,338,321,616,896 - or 4.7 Quintillion dif. combinations !) The only thing I don't like is that the recipient must have or create a PayPal account in order to redeem the gift cert. Not sure why that's necessary, since no $$ are changing hands, but there it is... any ideas? Thanks again for all you do. Wishing you a healthy and happy new year! - Matt --- pause and stuff.... 07:15 FB-NDG MERRY CHRISTMAS All! Attached is the 1st page of a 3-page grant application on how we can change the world with EQ. Whatchathink? --- wrap PR & Josh over very nice to Kiddos incl. Josh Lobue, who is now going with us to AZ... surprise(!) very, very nice(!) home "The Reality of Love" 10 to bed. --- 12.26 04:30 up, shower (brr...) 05:00 here LI-EIN My personal definition of EQ is the sum of my perspective, perception, level of thinking & emotional mastery. If I improve one of these elements, I become a stronger leader. By increasing all of these elements I increase my ability to read others, master myself and master others. EQ in my perspective is like martial arts, there are mental, emotional, intuitive, and spiritual components that need to work together. Posted by Berel Michael Weiner - Elizabeth M. R. Grant • There is a very interesting book on leadership which looks at the various qualities as applied to the Modern Presidency by John Scowronek and it indicates the most rated Presidents as great or very good tend to have a combination of factors but without exception EQ is higher than the 'failures' or mediocre incumbents. - 8 core dimensions of a world class leader: Resilience, Authenticity, Adapability, Drive, Influence, Innovation, Thinking, Positivity. - Christopher Golis • Referring back to Pfeffer, he was the only person I know who puts the ability to handle conflict on his core list of six attributes. According to Pfeffer leaders are willing to engage, when necessary in conflict and confrontation. Many people believe that to get along you go along. This belief is inculcated from an early age. However, leaders have discovered that conflict will often provide you far more power than pliability. His other five are interesting: Energy The first common characteristic of leaders (as opposed to other people) is their energy and physical stamina. Leaders are the first in the office and the last to leave. Before they get to the office and after they leave they participate in other activities. During the day they continue to be active in a round of meetings. They are rarely sick. Focus Contrary to the popular view, perhaps pushed by the recruitment consultants, successful general managers are not general. Typically the people who become managing directors do so by focusing their energy and avoiding wasted effort. They succeed by focusing their efforts in one industry and generally one company. Empathy Successful leaders are aware of other people. They spend time thinking about the behaviour and personality of their colleagues and employees. They put themselves in other people's shoes. Flexibility To succeed as a leader it is necessary to be able to modify one's behaviour. Flexibility is essential to success, particularly for managers. People may not like flexibility in the abstract but they do like what it is able to accomplish. Team spirit While confrontation is a key to success, another key—particularly in the larger organisation, is the ability to submerge one's ego and become a team player during one's career. - 0.3EQ + 0.7IQ =Great Leader - Ray Mathis • Having actually taught emotional management to students for nearly 4 decades, I'd like to share the common obstacles I always ran into. * There were parents and even staff who perceived what I was doing as "therapy". It never was. It was education. Education can be very therapeutic. I specifically would not allow kids to divulge any personal information about themselves or family in class. And would cut them off tactfully if they started to, and offer to talk to them later. But that perception often still persisted. Never warranted, but that never stopped people from having it. * A corollary to this was that they would question what my credentials were for doing what I did with students. And it often didn't matter to those questioning them that I did have all the necessary credentials. It was just another prone of attack against something they didn't agree with. Call it their plan B. * Parents would accuse me and the school of trying to impose our values on their children. Which is exactly the opposite of what I did. I always started with talking about having UOA, or Unconditional Other Acceptance, meaning that I believed whatever they thought, felt, said or did was understandable given their unique life history. And encouraging them to have USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance. But that perception persisted. I do admit to challenging and questioning beliefs if students made them public and they were inflammatory or defaming of others, like attacks on gays for example. And then it was something as simple as, "Please tell me one concrete way your life will change for the worse if two people of the same sex marry each other in another state 2000 miles away?" But I never did that with the intention of forcing my values on them. Everyone is free to think what they want too. My intention was simply to encourage them to examine the functionality of those beliefs in their current, and future life. I've always believed that's part of being a teacher. And I would always qualify any such efforts with "Look, you can look at things anyway you want. That's your right as a human being. And I'm sure the way you do is understandable given your life experiences" I often related the example of a friend of nearly 60 years now who grew up in a racist home and held a lot of racist beliefs. He went to WIU to play baseball, was really looking forward to being there, and when he got there, his roommate was African-American. He went home, never played baseball, and never finished college, and regretted it ever since. Those who objected to teaching about emotional management would often use the derogatory term "touchy-feely stuff". I suspect anyone, or any school, or any governmental institution that attempts to institute teaching about emotional management (intelligence) into the curriculum will probably run into to similar push backs. It helps to be prepared in advance. But what you say in defense won't always matter to those who object. --- ND testimonial I love ND for LIFE!!! (whether or not I attend as I wish I could) - Annette Kemnitz --- 06:13 Emotional Intelligence, from Johns Hopkins University http://education.jhu.edu/PD/newhorizons/strategies/topics/Emotional%20Intelligence/index.html Introduction Introduction taken from the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, Ph. D. with permission of the author. Copyright 1997 by John Gottman, all rights reserved. Good parenting requires more than intellect. It touches a dimension of the personality that's been ignored in much of the advice dispensed to parents over the past thirty years. Good parenting involves emotion. In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. For parents, this quality of "emotional intelligence"-- as many now call it-- means being aware of your children's feelings, and being able to empathize, soothe, and guide them. For children, who learn most lessons about emotion from their parents, it includes the ability to control impulses, delay gratification, motivate themselves, read other people's social cues, and cope with life's ups and downs. "Family life is our first school for emotional learning, " writes Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, a book that describes in rich detail the scientific research that has led to our growing understanding of this field. "In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think about these feelings and what choices we have in reacting; how to read and express hopes and fears. This emotional schooling operates not just through the things parents say and do directly to children, but also in the models they offer for handling their own feelings and those that pass between husband and wife. Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, others atrocious." What parental behaviors make the difference? As a research psychologist studying parent-child interactions, I have spent much of the past twenty ears looking for the answer to this question. Working with research teams at the University of Illinois and the University of Washington, I have conducted in-depth research in two studies of 119 families, observing how parents and children react to one another in emotionally charged situations. We have been following these children from age four to adolescence. In addition, we are in the process of tracking 130 newlywed couples as they become parents of young infants. Our studies involve lengthy interviews with parents, talking about their marriages, their reactions to their children's emotional experiences and their own awareness of the role emotion plays in their lives. We have tracked children's physiological responses during stressful parent-child interactions. We have carefully observed and analyzed parents' emotional reactions to their kids' anger and sadness. Then we have checked in with these families over time to see how their children developed in terms of health, academic achievement, emotional development, and social relationships. Our results tell a simple, yet compelling story. We have found that most parents fall into one of two broad categories: those who give their children guidance about the world of emotion and those who don't. I call the parents who get involved with their children's feelings "Emotion Coaches." Much like athletic coaches, they teach their children strategies to deal with life's ups and downs. They don't object to their children's displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life and they use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer relationships with them. The process of Emotion Coaching that my research colleagues and I uncovered in our studies of successful parent-child interactions typically happens in five steps. The parents: 1. become aware of the child's emotion; 2. recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching; 3. listen empathetically, validating the child's feelings; 4. help the child find words to label the emotion he is having; and 5. set limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand. The Effects of Emotion Coaching What difference does it make when children have Emotion-Coaching parents? By observing and analyzing in detail the words, actions, and emotional responses of families over time, as we have done in our studies, we have discovered a truly significant contrast. Children whose parents consistently practice Emotion Coaching have better physical health and score higher academically than children whose parents don't offer such guidance. These kids get along better with friends, have fewer behavior problems, and are less prone to acts of violence. Over all, children who are Emotion-Coached experience fewer negative feelings and more positive feelings. In short, they're more healthy emotionally. But here's the result I find most surprising: When mothers and fathers use a coaching style of parenting, their children become more resilient. The kids who are Emotion-Coached still get sad, angry, or scared under difficult circumstances, but they are better able to soothe themselves, bounce back from distress, and carry on with productive activities. In other words, they are more emotionally intelligent. Indeed, our research shows that Emotion Coaching can even protect kids from the proven harmful effects of an increasingly common crisis for American families-marital conflict and divorce. With more than half of all marriages now ending in divorce, millions of children are at risk for problems many social scientists have linked to family dissolution. These problems include school failure, rejection by other children, depression, health challenges, and antisocial behavior. Such problems can also affect children from unhappy, conflict-ridden homes even when their parents don't divorce. Our own research shows that when a couple constantly fights, their conflict gets in the way of their child's ability to form friendships. We also found that marital conflict affects a child's schoolwork and increases the child's susceptibility to illness. We now know that a major result of the epidemic of ailing and dissolving marriages in our society is an increase in deviant and violent behavior among children and teenagers. But when the Emotion-Coaching parents in our studies experienced marital conflict, or were separated or divorced, something different happened. With the exception of the fact that these kids were generally "sadder" than the other children in our study, Emotion-Coaching seemed to shield them from the deleterious effects suffered by so many who have this experience. Previously proven effects of divorce and marital conflict, such as academic failure, aggression, and problems with peers, did not show up in the Emotion-Coached kids; all of which suggests that Emotion-Coaching offers children the first proven buffer against the emotional trauma of divorce. While such findings are obviously relevant for families who are currently struggling with marital problems and the aftermath of a divorce, we expect that further research will reveal that Emotion-Coaching can buffer children against a whole host of other conflicts, losses, and heartaches as well. Another surprising discovery from our research has to do with fathers. Our studies found that when dads adopt an Emotion-Coaching style of parenting, it has an extremely positive impact on their children's emotional development. When fathers are aware of their kids' feelings and try to help them solve problems, children do better in school and in relationships with others. In contrast, an emotionally distant dad-one who is harsh, critical, or dismissing of his children's emotions-can have a deeply negative impact. His kids are more likely to do poorly in school, fight more with friends, and have poor health. (This emphasis on dads does not mean that a mother's involvement doesn't affect children's emotional intelligence as well. The effects of her interactions with her children are significant. But our studies indicate that a father's influence can be much more extreme, whether that effect is good or bad. At a time when an alarming 28 percent of American children are growing up in mother-only households, the significance of a father's presence in a child's life cannot be overlooked. We shouldn't assume, however that any father is better than no father. An emotionally present dad can be a tremendous benefit in a child's life, but a cold and cruel father can do great harm. While our research shows that Emotion-Coaching parents can help their kids develop into healthier, more successful adults, the technique is by no means a cure for serious family problems that require the help of a professional therapist. And unlike proponents of many other parenting theories, I will not promise that Emotion-Coaching is a panacea for all the normal problems of family life. Practicing Emotion Coaching does not mean all family arguments will cease, that there will be no more harsh words, no more bruised feelings, no more sadness or stress. Conflict is a fact of family life. Still, once you start using Emotion Coaching, you will probably feel yourself growing closer to your children. And when your family shares a deeper intimacy and respect, problems between family members will seem lighter to bear. And finally, Emotion Coaching does not mean and end to discipline. Indeed, when you and your children are emotionally close, you are even more invested in their lives an can therefore assert a stronger influence. You're in a position to be tough when toughness is called for. When you see your children making mistakes or slacking off, you can call them on it. You're not afraid to set limits. You're not afraid to tell them when they've disappointed you , when you know they can do better. And because you have an emotional bond with your children, your words matter. They care about what you think and they don't want to displease you. In this way, Emotion Coaching may help you guide and motivate your kids. Emotion Coaching requires a significant amount of commitment and patience, but the job is essentially the same as that of any other coach. If you want to see your kid excel at baseball, you don't avoid the game; you get out in the yard and start working with him. Likewise, if you want to see your child handle feelings, cope with stress, and develop healthy relationships, you don't shut down or ignore expressions of negative emotion; you engage with your child and offer guidance. While grandparents, teachers, and other adults can serve as Emotion Coaches in a child's life, as a parent, you're in the best spot for the job. After all, you're the one who knows what rules you want your child to play by. And you're the one who's going to be there when life gets tough. Whether the challenge is infant colic, potty training, sibling warfare, or broken prom dates, your child looks to you for signals. So you might as well put on the coach's cap and help your child win the game. Articles Emotional Intelligence: Five Years Later Daniel Goleman Welcoming Spirit Into Our Schools Gary Tubbs Leadership in the Millennium David Dunning Recommended Reading The Personal Intelligences: Promoting Social and Emotional Learning by Launa Ellison Corwin Press, 2001 ISBN: 0-7619-7691-4 Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman Simon and Schuster, 1997 ISBN: 0684838656 The Key to Success: Developing Emotional Intelligence in Young Children by Gail Kushnir Aschai Publishers, 2003 Related Links The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations http://www.eiconsortium.org/ The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning http://www.casel.org/ Emotional Intelligence in Schools http://www.connected.org/learn/school.html © Copyright 1997 --- Hi Kathleen, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack-- thanks! Your order should go out TODAY! Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! - Matt www.EucProducts.com PP = 2785 print orders (9x) for today still have gobs of banana's we picked up after the storms last week --- 06:40 Cheryl Hi Sweetie! Thanks for the nice note, and update, Ms. Hamwich! You're doing GREAT with quotes, and YES, I am still enjoying them! You find amazing quotes, and then say wise, simple, powerful comments to add to those quotes. I find your stuff so easy to read, only takes a sec, and they have very real meaning to them... please continue. Potpourri sounds nice... Eucs would be a nice addition, too! I'd love to see the list of books that have changed your life... may I? LOL re: Janine! We're heading to Flagstaff, AZ this evening, to spend New Years with my fam... should be fun... but COLD (-2 the other night + 22" of new snow). Paula, 3 dogs and 3 grandkids (Sarah, Bri and Josh) are going with, so it should be an adventure. We'll go to the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas on the way, and skiing when we get there. Haven't seen my younger sis (Wendy) for a few years, so I'm very much looking forward to that... and my mom was just diagnosed with Parkinson's (last week), so it's good timing, too. Merry Christmas to you... even if it is Summertime. LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!! :) - da bro Oh, and attached is a first page draft of my 3-page grant app to change the world with EQ. Feedback is welcome! -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Quotes & etc. From: Cheryl Nolan Date: Sun, December 23, 2012 6:31 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Bro! I only have about 125 quotes to go to finish the year of Positivity - YAY! Are you still enjoying them? Sometimes I worry that I didn't say the right thing. But then I'm always second-guessing myself! The summer weather has hit us, though we are lucky to have a breeze - being just 3 blocks from the beach. We go to Steve's folks for Christmas dinner tomorrow. His Dad will barbeque steaks, but his Mum will make a steamed pudding for dessert. I will be bringing ice cream and strawberries too. It is weird having Xmas in the summertime, but you can get used to it. One good thing is that we have fresh asparagus right now. I have been making potpourri with the petals from my rose bushes and geraniums. I have red, orange, yellow and pink ones. I add some cracked allspice and cloves. Smells great. I still volunteer at the Library mending books for a couple of hours each week. I also help out at the YWCA and volunteer time at the Red Cross bookshop once a week. I am still trying to fit in. Janine was here last week - Matt, what just happened here? LOL! I will be giving a talk in March during the Women's Festival on the 5-6 books that changed my life. I'm scared and yet still looking forward to it. A friend tells me that my Hobbit name is : Orangeblossom Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern, LOL! I haven't seen the movie yet, but I will. Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Love you - and I mean that! Cheryl --- It's beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you've built up around your mind and heart, and let them inside. --- 06:51 Gwen Yes, I think pre-determined amounts is better, so there's no left-over... for example, if they do a gift cert for $20, but buy a $17.95 pack, what happens to the remaining $2.05? Let's do: $17.95 $27.95 $39.95 $61.95 the codes for these amounts are below... yes? Thanks! - Matt --- ---------- mcp ---------------- "Choose Inner Peace. Nothing is worth losing your inner peace. Take action as circumstances require, but never surrender your inner peace. Stop. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes and breathe deeply again. Then, and only then, take action - from a peaceful heart." - Jonathan Lockwood Huie --- “ A gilded No is more satisfactory than a dry Yes.. ” - Baltasar Grasian --- Parent Rap, from Kath Kvols https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152256161995471&set=vb.725955470&type=2&theater About Kath http://www.incaf.com/aboutkathrynkvols.html A “catalyst for creating healthy relationships” is the best way to describe Kathryn Kvols. A dynamic and entertaining international speaker, Kathryn has worked with thousands of teachers, nurses, counselors, childcare workers and parents, presenting keynote addresses, workshops, and classes. Kathryn presents fresh new ways at looking at age-old problems. Seeing with these new eyes, her audience is inspired to make amazing shifts toward loving action. These loving actions are creating more satisfying relationships at home, in school and in the workplace. Kathryn has a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and Social Work with a minor in Education from Concordia College in Minnesota. She is adept at creating safe learning environments through her heart-felt speaking style, her sense of humor, and insightful observations. Her workshops are interactive and her audiences walk away with practical tools they can implement immediately. Highlights of her career include being invited to speak at the World Peace Conference in Costa Rica and being interviewed as an expert for the PBS Documentary, “The Children Are Watching.” Kathryn is published in newspapers and magazines such as the Chicago Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, Washington Post, Parent’s Journal, Tomorrow’s Child, Good Housekeeping and Women’s World. She appeared on MSNBC and featured on numerous radio interviews. Large organization have sought Kathryn for her inspiring keynotes and workshops such as Burger King, NAYEC, the Pediatric Nurse Practioner’s Association and the American Montessori Society. Kathryn’s list of published books includes: Redirecting Children’s Behavior Parenting Guidelines Understanding Yourself and Others Success Strategies for Family Meetings She has also developed several courses: Redirecting Children’s Behavior Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom (co-author) Redirecting Corporate America (co-author) The Family Empowerment Series The Family Puzzle…Putting the Pieces Together Understanding Yourself and Others (co-author) The Love Course Understanding Successful Attitudes (co-author) Kathryn is the president of the International Network for Children and Families, a worldwide parent-training network that teaches her course life changing course, “Redirecting Children’ Behavior.” The course teaches skill-building strategies to families. They emphasize teamwork, creating win-win situations, and effectively avoiding power struggles using kind-but-firm methods promoted by Alfred Adler and Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. Kathryn and her husband, Brian Harper, reside in Gainesville, Florida and have a blended family of five children: Brianna, Tyler, Chloe, Emily, and Amy. Her experiences as a mom, single mom, and step-mom have made her empathetic to her audience and easy for them to relate to her. Kathryn is the president of the International Network for Children and Families, a worldwide parent-training network that teaches her course life changing course, "Redirecting Children' Behavior." The course teaches skill-building strategies to families. They emphasize teamwork, creating win-win situations, and effectively avoiding power struggles using kind-but-firm methods promoted by Alfred Adler and Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. Kathryn and her husband, Brian Harper, reside in Gainesville, Florida and have a blended family of five children: Brianna, Tyler, Chloe, Emily, and Amy. Her experiences as a mom, single mom, and step-mom have made her empathetic to her audience and easy for them to relate to her. - DiAnne Craig, certified instructor of RCB and owner of GRC, NM Rio Rancho, New Mexico 87144E-mail: bcdc1129@aol.com Voice Phone: 505-771-2082 --- Kathryn is published in newspapers and magazines such as the Chicago Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, Washington Post, Parent's Journal, Tomorrow's Child, Good Housekeeping and Women's World. She appeared on MSNBC and featured on numerous radio interviews. --- Hey gang, We're on our way toward AZ this evening! We're gonna take our time and visit Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, so we'll probably be there Friday. We're bringing some grandkids, and they're very excited about going snow-boarding/skiing... can we all go one day, either Sat, Sun or Monday? Dad said you have snow now, so sledding would be fun too (and oh so much cheaper) but we gotta go skiing one day, at least, anyway. We might need some help with gloves or pants, or any snowboard equip you might have. We have some plastic sleds we'll bring. Also Wendy wanted to go see a crater one day... any other plans? Whatchadoin' for New Years... are we going to your house, or M&D's? Excited to see the boys, too! The girls we are bringing are 14 and 15, and I'm sure they'll all get along famously. I think Josh is coming too now, our 17yo grandson who you guys met when he came out to race BMX with (our) Scott when they were little(r). c-ya soon. - Matt 916-599-8597 What number(s) should I use to stay in contact with you guys? --- 58 & 178 --- Happiness * Neurologists have discovered that our brain is configured for happiness in this moment. We were born to be happy just as much as we were born to communicate or to reason. To be unhappy is unnatural. Our degree of happiness is an ongoing journey to become our most authentic, emotionally intelligent self while serving others. Happiness is the place where we know we fit. Where the gentlest sense of wholeness and passion enfolds and warms us to our core. We begin to realize the unique gift that only we can give to others. This gift is also our greatest wealth. When we are on purpose we are filled with passion and clarity. We are flow with life. We are able to calmly look back at the difficulties and suffering in our life without resistance, judgment or attachment to outcome. We are happy. Merry Christmas! Phil --- 1:18 Hi Kath! Thanks for friending me... I wasn't sure if you were still made at me/us or not. I ran across Tyler's name on Facebook, and friended him... how cool to see a fine young man when last I saw him he was a dinky kid! And, I ran across Skip Swies, as well, and ended up talking to him for over an hour on the phone... strolling down memory lane! It looks like you're still teaching... very cool... so are we. Are there any more UYO's happening anywhere, or USA's? Let's chat some time. I hope you and yours are happy and well. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! - Matt --- Sounds like a good plan. All that you have on your list are available. Sledding all over, Snowbowl is open for skiing/boarding. We have lots of spare stuff. The crater can be fun. I don't have any other agenda items...yet. We thought you were going to be back in Cali for New Years. We are happy to host. No other plans and probably easiest for our guys to bow out into their beds. What are your Grand Canyon plans? I love that place and it's only an hour from here. Maybe we could meet you there and hang at the hole, then caravan back down. Call my cell 928-853-6379 or Merk's 928-699-2421. Safe driving! From: matt@2gethelp.com [matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Wednesday, December 26, 2012 12:25 PM To: Scott A Perelstein; Merk Perelstein Cc: Wendy Perelstein; Dad and Mom Perelstein Subject: On our way... Hey gang, We're on our way toward AZ this evening! We're gonna take our time and visit Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, so we'll probably be there Friday. We're bringing some grandkids, and they're very excited about going snow-boarding/skiing... can we all go one day, either Sat, Sun or Monday? Dad said you have snow now, so sledding would be fun too (and oh so much cheaper) but we gotta go skiing one day, at least, anyway. We might need some help with gloves or pants, or any snowboard equip you might have. We have some plastic sleds we'll bring. Also Wendy wanted to go see a crater one day... any other plans? Whatchadoin' for New Years... are we going to your house, or M&D's? Excited to see the boys, too! The girls we are bringing are 14 and 15, and I'm sure they'll all get along famously. I think Josh is coming too now, our 17yo grandson who you guys met when he came out to race BMX with (our) Scott when they were little(r). c-ya soon. - Matt 916-599-8597 What number(s) should I use to stay in contact with you guys? --- IMS all morning go to AZ... --- 12.27 --- 12.28 --- 12.29 --- 12.30 --- 12.31 --- 1.1.2013(!) HNY! --- 1.2.2012 00:56 TA Truckstop in Livingston, again. us and about 100 semis, sleeping have to put out slideout so bed will pull out FB --> Livingston TA --> Circus-Circus, LV, NV --> M&D's, Flagstaff, AZ, 4x --> Livingston TA 2ish pause in passenger seat working on D-R / ND Brochure wording is what's coming out. (both are equally important, to me) 5ish up, plug laptop in to inverter (climb over bed with Bri, then Josh on table, then Sarah B. and PKP, and Bella in bed) cold, blanket on describing EQ - dif. for grant wording NDers LI-EINers website brochure testimonials - I'm coming up with the concepts, and verbalizing them/boiling them down/writing them up yes, it's in my conversational tone. --- >> wish HNY for awhile! I like the holidays that start with the word 'Happy' Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, Happy Chanukah, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Halloween(?), --- ND Brochure wording definition of EQ: self-awareness and awareness of others, need for socialization, emotional, personal and social responsibility awareness, tools and skills, caring, respect starts with a basic self-respect and respect for others not just me, it's we shift from left-brain-only focus, adding right-brain awareness, tools, skills, and competencies, to become whole-brain balanced -- feeling alive, alert, at choice, optimistic, caring, connected, passionate, hopeful, aware, congruent, real, loving Chances are, you grew up in a home/school/world where feelings were NOT Ok to be discussed, experienced, expressed or allowed. This makes for shut-down, limited, unaware, one-sided, uninformed, unbalanced, unhealthy, co-dependent, dysfunctional, repetitive, unclear, blaming, not-in-control Victims. (we may not be all these things (phew), but chances are we have some of these going on!) EQ training can provide clarity, tools, skills, language, empathy, compassion, reality, wisdom, grace, POWER, Aliveness, LOVE, heart, soul, passion, Joy power, control, direction, focus, motivation, success, happiness and Life to our lives! emotion-based intel critical to fully-informed decision-making EQ can keep us from wanting to commit suicide. EQ can keep us from hurting others, by accident, or on purpose. EQ can provide a framework for how we see ourselves, and each other, and life, that probably didn't exist before in our reality. EQ can open whole new worlds of creativity, connection, empathy and self-acceptance that is difficult to experience otherwise. With basic EQ concepts, like: - self-awareness - emotional responsibility - acceptance - Choice - win-win - me to we 3 Purposes to the ND Weekend 1. Help you recognize how your present life is still being influenced by your past. 2. Allow you to release feelings and beliefs from the past that you would like to put behind you. 3. Enable you to take full responsibility for how you choose to live your life, from this day forward. 10 Basic tenants of EQ - I am responsible for my own Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours - Happiness is a Choice: No matter what is happening outside of us, we can choose to be happy, and loving, and free, inside of us - Feelings are a good thing, not a bad, and they can be understood, identified, explained, shared (or not) - I have Personal Power! I am through being a victim and finished blaming others - My current 'isseus' 'makes sense' and I have the knowledge, power and wisdom to manage myself, my feeling, my words, actions and behaviours - There are things I can control, and things I cannot (a wise man knows his limits), I am at choice >> let's come up with the basic tenants of EQ: I'll start. Either throw out a new one, or resubmit the entire 10, your way, my way or some combination thereof. Research, Standardization, we need to pool our talents to create a better whole prepare and my chance will come don't realize the urgency, and criticality, of what we're doing here. EQ isn't just some cool new fad that might help your bus... EQ is a game-changer. EQ rocks the world -- in business, academics, mental health, criminal justice, military, parenting, communications, because it starts with all the way down to core self-beliefs, basic decision making processes, heart, soul and life. EQ is a set of skills that can learned, quite easily in fact I will attempt to write this proposal from a left-brain point-of-view, as I'm assuming that's what you're used to, and that's what you're expecting. However, left-brain logic is not my strong point. I'm a right-brainer, so there will some of that here, as well. In fact, this paragraph is a right-brain concept that I need to explain myself, and that I can set the stage, and the tone for this project. I believe this the largest proposal you have received, ever, and the largest proposal you will ever receive. They say to play BIG, well, it can't get any bigger than this. My proposal is to change the world, the entire world, and (most) everyone in it, from the inside out. I believe we can make a fundamental shift in human consciousness by adding the powerfully-creative, aware, connection-seeking right-brain to our predominately left-brain world, to create a knowing, a socialization, a self-awareness that could change everything. I believe that, with fairly minimal resources, we can introduce the world the basic EQ concepts, show them the power, control, success, love and happiness that can come from learning these basic concepts, in a way that they will want to incorporate it into their lives. - Chances are, any emotional issues we have in the present are feuled by unresolved pain, anger and sadness we had in our past... and that identifying, accepting, allowing and learning from that pain... allows us to a) relieve the pain, quickly and completely, b) learn invaluable lessons from ourselves, our past, our experiences, our roots c) be completely present in knowing/accepting/championing our inner child, our right-brain, our past. Past + Present = Now Past + Present + EQ Wisdom/Experience/Intuition + IQ Knowledge/Facts/Reality = a very cool future "Plans mean nothing, yet Planning is everything!" Inner child = right-brain? >> D-R to Jim, too (after a round or two of edits) >> NDers. You guys, this isn't just me yapping... EQ is a game-changer... and I/we need to let people know, the right people, who can move this forward. Do you realize that the UofPenn did a 4-week training for the US Army of ALL 40,000 drill instructors...as they believed this train-the-trainer concept would be the most effective way to get to the 1.1M soldiers in the field, around the world! ND isn't just some class that we're trying to make money on... ND is one of the keys to mental health... we are an incredible example of what's possible in healing, and loving, and making our lives work. As you know, we've had a number of 'saves'... people who fully intended to commit suicide, had a plan, the tools, and the willingness to pull it off... but who are NOW still with us today... some quite seriously HAPPY about it all! 4 people, yes 4, in 2012 said to us, to our faces, that you/ND saved their life. boom. results. sure, it's only 4, not a statistically viable test population, yet... but nevertheless, serious, undeniable, powerful, life-changing, game-changing results. How many of you were on meds, and ain't no mo? How many of you had shitty relationships, mended, forgiven, returned to loving, because YOU made it so? How many of you are pretty friggin' happy, given everything that's happening in the world? How many of you believe that you have created more success in your lives as a result of knowing your right-brain feelings, accepting them, and then using that information to make better decisions, create closeness and intimacy, using improved communication skills, adding heart to your head... feeling to your logic... love to your work... joy to your friends, family and life?? How many of you are significantly better off just 'cause of a silly weekend workshop, done with almost NO external resources? we have a bunch of people in a room... some had been there before, some not. We have safe room, some chairs, pillows, a white-board, a binder, and lots and lots of tissues (oh, and our super-powered, magic-wand-like, custom-printed ND PENCIL, thanks to Karen!) virtually NOTHING is required to change lives for the better -- profoundly, completely and permanently! I just went the Landmark Forum, who have over a Million graduates... and we didn't even get a binder NOR a pencil (nor did they use pillows, but that's another story). We are cutting edge here, ladies and germs. As you know, I manage the huge group of EQers on LinkedIn, and I see EVERY single promotion that goes by, sometimes up to 100 a day... and I can tell you, we are CUTTING EDGE! Nobody is doing healing like we do... nobody is getting the results that we get... nobody goes as deep as we do... to the heart of the matter... to heal our inner child... to not 'forget the past', but to embrace it... feel it, allow it, figure out the negative, limiting belief systems that were created by us, our children... so we can LEARN from our past, and make our present, and our future, as cool as we can! The main point of the Landmark Forum is that we made it all up, so we can remake it so that it works for us, and our world. Yay, and yahoo! But they don't do that part about learning from our past, embracing/allowing/accepting/not judging the feelings, and allowing our right-brain emotions to co-exist with our left-brain logic and knowledge, so we live a fuller, clearer, more Alive life. make your past into an Asset, even (especially) the painful parts! allow the wisdom and experiences of you, as a child, as a teen, as a young adult TEACH/affect/encourage/enlighten you now, so you can make better decisions in the present, that create your future. They say to try to forget the past... NO, do not forget the past... LEARN from it. Get stronger 'cause of it. Be wiser because of the experiences you've had. Do NOT let them beat you. Do NOT let emotional decisions, made by a 5-year-old, HAMPER your present, cause you to feel bad about yourself/disconnected/less than and get in the way of living the coolest, most excellent life you can! Our past is the key to our present. and our present creates our future. EMFB! yep, that's the correct order. Meanings CREATE/generate/instigate/exacerbate feelings! We know we have Choices... we can look at things and find the negative, or we can look at things and find the good, the positive, the beneficial (even if painful). 06:54 drive to Sac... --- 1.3.2013 Thurs. home! 09:00 here IMS --- If I say I can't - I won't If I say I'll try - I might If I say I will - I win! --- PP = 2432 (not bad, considering!) --- "matters of the heart" --- 11:15-12 Lunch. Fajita chicken that Scott and Merk made and zucks that PKP made for HNY party --- Happy! for DDB --- 12:10 Euc Testimonial This product is great! I put a few branches in the corners of one of my sugar glider cages last night. I came back the next morning to see two pouches filled with leaves and a branch hanging from one. They absolutely loved it and were excited to have part of their natural habit in their cage. I will definitely be ordering more! - Hayley (see pic) --- LI-EIN LinkedIn Groups Group: The Emotional Intelligence Network Discussion: Do you believe we should be teaching EQ in public schools? If so, please sign our petition at http://www.Feel.org. Here is another concept that I would love to be taught in schools. What do you feel? Sorry vs. Sad There is the disheveled old man sitting at the exit off the freeway with his little, sad eyed dog. What emotion is he trying to engender in you so that you will give him money? He wants you to feel sorry for him so that you will give him money! And, more often than not, it works. However, you do have a choice of what to feel providing that you know that you think. Most people do not know that they think. They believe that they are the victims of feelings, both their own and others. Once you accept that what you think (which includes your beliefs, your expectations, and your conclusions about yourself, others, the world, etc) then you become responsible for your feelings and, as a consequence, your behaviors. I choose to think sad instead of sorry for that little old alcoholic/drug user and his sad eyed dog. I choose to think differently, so that I will feel differently and will act differently and not give him money. I choose not feel manipulated by his plight. “I am so sad that you have chosen to take the path you did and make the decisions that have brought you to this place. What can you do differently?” People, that I chose to feel sorry for, I may become co-dependent with and want to be their rescuer. Rescuers tend to become victims. If I chose to become a rescuer, sooner or later I will become the victim. I am not saying that you should never feel sorry for someone or help someone who cannot help themselves. Posted by Myron Doc Downing --- Teddy http://www.flickspire.com/m/BLM/MakeADifference --- 6:36 done with IMS for the day. --- PP = 2526 --- >>>>>>>>>>>>> From house laptop --- 1.6 09: Yael Stark, via Skype, re: D-R 'biz plan' --- "If you think seven years of bad luck are too much for breaking a mirror... try breaking a condom" (pic) (ouch!) --- 10:15 pkp, coming home today not good there not happy 10:26 Gwen BUT... if we change the gift cert prices, we kinda gotta change the regular prices too... and those are all set to the lower 9... $11.95, $19.95, $29.95, $49.95... it's just when we add the Postage that it goes over the top to $40 and $70. I think let's leave 'em alone for now (get it... leave 'em?!?). Where/how will the Gift certs be offered? Also, can you update the page footers to say 2004-2013? (wow, 9 years... doesn't seem like it) Thanks for everything! - me --- 10:31 PP = 2709 order labels 46x(!), thru Pamela Mount --- -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: Should EQ be part of every school?] From: yassin shaar Date: Mon, December 31, 2012 3:10 am To: matt@2gethelp.com, Ayman Sawwaf , Joshua Freedman Hi Matt, Here is the login information to mailchimp: Username: feelorg password: 1million Kindly, once you login go to this page and edit all the information so you can take control over the process and start receiving the notifications. As for the rest of the tasks: - Please email me what links you need to be added on the "links" page - If you look further down the page at the last sentence in the 3rd paragraph, it says: "In 2012, 2gethelp joined forces with 6seconds.org to help re-establish this vital campaign." - Adding facebook to the page is schedueled after new year's - As for the facebook page, ayman please assign me as an admin so i can take care of the rest. - Here is the access info for feel channel on wholelife , username: emotional Literacy / password: 1million Please let me know if you have any further questions. Happy new "emotional literate" year :) Peace, Yassin - 12.19 Ayman Hi Matt.. How are you friend.. Ping me when you can today to discuss few things.. we are finishing today the fixes on feel.org and i am ready to send emails to 50k people and would like to discuss with you few things... it is a perfect timing to launch the campaign after the tragedy of the school in Conn. Emotional literacy is the only true antidote to violence in school... not only limiting guns... we need to heal our culture of violence . talk soon --- HNY 2U, 2! Oh, Matt, you're soooo clever! --- Careful what you say, children will listen. - "Children Will Listen", Barbara Streisand http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiTaDJ9E1I0 ------------------- >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> missing from house ------------------- 6-10 Orders 10-11 nappage 11-00:00 orders... --- 1.7 00:00 - 02:30 ... done with orders 07 snooze 07:31 here, pack and go. IE open links White Christmas http://gpsinformation.info/main/merryxmas.swf Talking Christmas card http://www.bluemountain.com/ecards/christmas/talking/card-3285609 Understanding How Children Develop Empathy http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/10/understanding-how-children-develop-empathy/ From Violent Hearts to Heavenly Peace (6 sec article on shootings) http://www.6seconds.org/2012/12/21/from-violent-hearts/ Better Eating thru Mindfulness http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/better-eating-through-mindfulness Expert page on SelfGrowth.com http://www.selfgrowth.com/user/26479/edit/membership_request Burberry managing social media talent http://blogs.hbr.org/video/2012/12/how-burberry-manages-talent.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+harvardbusiness+%28HBR.org%29&goback=.nmp_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1 --- LI-EIN If you are depressed your living in the past, if your anxious, your living in the future, if your happy, your living in the present ! --- 1 order Make Coffee Invoice Zoo pack and go... to SR (not SF!) --- noon SR stay here and work (nice!) IMS (and Frasier). Saw Tom, too. --- 3:22 Scott P and I are connected on LinkedIn Hey! Thanks for connecting with me... I'm honored. It was super-great seeing you and the fam over New Years! I loved spending time with you... sorry it went by so darned fast. I'll post the pics that Eric took in the next few days... there are some great ones! Thanks again for the hospitality. You have a wonderful family! - Matt --- Pkp to Seattle Flights, from Santa Rosa? Thursday to leave on Thursday, 1pm $276 --- Bowl Game Undefeated Notre Dame vs. #1 Alabama ESPN.com --- Orders start with Kerri pamela? Hi Kerri, I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I'm outta town working most of this week, so your order won't go out until Friday, when I return home... I hope that's not too late. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com Sarah Edwards, 2L (bananas) Alicia Grondski to: Connie Caldwell 18329 County Road 420A Puxico, MO 63960 1C gift card Tracking number! , out FRIDAY! Jordan, 1L , out FRIDAY! Lori, S, 3', more CS than L --- made some good progress on IMS worked steady and focused all afternoon adding NDC and LN60 data columns to non-hybrid HEDIS 2013 measures for Informatix Fact reporting export/import HSD/HSM 3.7.3/4.0.1 map data files, run profile exec SP in SS --- 1.8 04:20 alarm(s) 05:40 up (nice to keep going back to sleep over and over!) unpack, straighten, garbage out wash hair e's - 07:04 PKP dentist bill? to WA, Friday to Friday check in at 09:50 , request today every other week - NOT! pay Aaron, of Computer Solutions Joint, 2500 DU, 400 savings, 1k sewing class on Saturday, felting, kinda build it by hand, on old-fashioned washboards boots --- Jay T. commented on There is no such thing as Right or wrong/ Good or Bad...It is something very relative.......what is boon to some might be a curse for... "Catherine, here is another thought. First of all, we seem to have migrated from good/bad, wright/wrong to evil/good, which personally I ... "more… "Catherine, here is another thought. First of all, we seem to have migrated from good/bad, wright/wrong to evil/good, which personally I think is an interesting transition. Having said that, I have spent over 2 decades working with people, helping them to overcome their problems and lead lives of success. in doing that, I have had the opportunity to work in the Mental Health field and have seen the worst of the worst. I actually have worked with people who at a young age have done things like this. So here is my other thought. What about they are born with the internal compass, and because of the environment that they are raised in, their internal compass get s skewed (see my previous comments) to a point where in their mind this is normal? What if they have seen this done with other animals (farm) or played enough video games and seen enough violence on TV that their reality is such that this is nothing more than curiosity. As horrific as this sounds, this was the case with several of the people I worked with where they lived in or their parent(s) created an environment where the children's behaviors were linked back to nothing more than sheer curiosity due to the violence the child had been witness to. Two I can think of were 4 years old and the other was 7. As I said previously, we are all born (with obvious exceptions for brain and cognitive deformation) with an internal compass that tells us what is right and wrong. What pulls us away from that compass generally is the environment that we experience throughout our lives and the reality that we grow up in. " --- 07:54 sent ND Brochure to Val (finally) not positive 08:20 ferry full, took 08:30 bus (so nice(!)) 09:30 IMS haven't been here since Dec. 20, 2.5wks ago! --- 11:06 mcp testimonial Shruti said that Priya said that I really stepped up to handle HEDIS while she was gone! --- when it's time... do Atkins low-carb diet! Kevin lost 40 lbs! --- 12:28 Hi Shruti, I would like to propose a change to my WFH schedule, please. I believe I now understand the processes much better, I’ve been getting my work done, and I can now work more independently. I’ve been working closely with Amber and Jimmy, and even though I’m in the office, I hardly ever “see” them… we do everything thru email and IM. Therefore, I’d like to come in to the SF office every other week, rather than every week. If it’s ok with you, I’ll work here this week, then home next week (1/14-1/18), then I’ll be back in the office the week after (1/21 - 1/24). It turns out that the last week in January (1/28-1/31) I need to be home anyway, as my wife must fly to Washington that week to care for her sister’s husband who is having major surgery for esophageal cancer. I have a friend who has worked for Apple in Cupertino for 20+ years on this every-other-week schedule and she says it works quite satisfactory. (it helps that she’s now a multi-millionaire from her stock options, and she now FLIES to Cupertino every week in her airplane… but I think I’ll just keep driving for now ?). Can we try this schedule thru January and see how it goes? Thanks. - Matt --- 3:43 Hi Kevin, Could I get a quick accounting of how many days I took off last year, and how many I have for this year, pretty please? I just want to confirm that our records match. Thanks much. - Matt 6pm dentist onlay #4, $535, due tomorrow super gentle touch, wonderful novacaine, nice job. walked to ferry with mark, Ofc. Mgr. SF, NYC, SR nice fellow. safeway lemons, syrup, cayenne, salads low/no carbs for awhile... see if you can do it. and situps, too. here we go... feels better already. don't get discouraged over not-immediate results. --- 10:45 Sorry Josh, I asked Ray, and then kinda dropped it. I think it's going fine right now. I check at least twice a day, and it only takes a few minutes to process 'em all. I love reading everything, to see what's up, and what people care about / are talking about. I copy and save the best ones. We have some AMAZING folks, and I just wish we could harness the power of the group better to make things happen! ... and the Promotions are excellent, too. Again, I wish others could see all the cool stuff that passes by... I'm tempted to "approve" more posts that I "send to promotions", because I want people to know what's being offered out there, and some of the great articles about EQ, leadership, how to use EQ in business, etc. Have you been getting any complaints about delays in approvals? I haven't. I still delete some posts, but not many... pretty classy bunch, overall... they 'get it' about the professionalism of the group. So, how are things for you? Get caught up after your whirl-wind tour of the world? What's next? How's the NY event looking? And again, how can we harness the power of 45,000 Pros to spread the good news about EQ?? I believe EQ is a game-changer, and we need to let more people know! see ya. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: moderation From: Joshua Freedman Date: Tue, January 08, 2013 10:27 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt - just revisiting my email to you about additional moderators - did you end up asking anyone? Should I? Or are we happy w/ current situation? :) - J --- 10ish hangin' in bandcamp with Bobby G. and Marc. playing with those 10 magnet balls I got at the Meteor Crater in AZ. rolling, placing in circle, keep away, stick to. Bobby won with 8 of 10 sticking to the pipe in the other room --- Emotional Intelligence Network What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? To paraphrase Australian philanthropist Philip Wollen, If there was anything in nature as violent and destructive as man, we would call it a virus and attempt to wipe it off the face of the earth. By Catherine Puglisi --- 11:00 I believe that behind every decision, every action, everything we do, and everything we say, is at least 1 thought and at least 1 feeling. Yet, we're taught to respect our Thoughts, and ignore our Feelings. That means we're not getting all the information we need to make the best decisions we can about ourselves and our lives. As Josh puts it, "Feelings Matter!" --- Having a breakdown is often the catharsis that is needed to keep our emotional life in balance. --- pd Tom $350 he had another fight with Harleigh... a real fight this time. She was escorted away, out of bed upstairs, by the sheriff. last night. ouch. that's twice. --- 11:47 Marc, bye Frazier "I love you, dad." --- 1.09 00:00 - 00:16 gotta get those midnight runs in there. is it martyrdom, or just silly goose-nicity? --> 3ish pause at computer pause in bed --- 07:11 “Value improvement over approval, advancement over change, and internal growth over the external pleasures.” Dr. Melodye Hilton --- 07:75 out. --- 1.09 Hi Kara, sorry, I'm working outta town this week, so it's tough to do business properly. My wife said you called. I'll call you tomorrow morning, and take your order over the phone. I just got a new credit card processor for my phone(!), so you'll be the first to use it. Your order wouldn't go out until Friday anyway, so we've got time. Thanks for understanding. - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: order placed From: kara k Date: Tue, January 08, 2013 1:59 pm To: hi, my name is kara kurtenbach. i placed an online order and payed with my paypal. it turns out, i had an old checking account on paypal, and the funds didn't go through. i want to apologize for my error, and see if i could call you all and give you a credit card #. please let me know. thanks, kara kurtenbach 573 673 7682 --- yay! thanks. no big rush... I just hadn't heard. Kids are great, ey?!? ... and yes, it's WAAY easier to understand than to apply! None of it is rocket science, but still... it's simple, but NOT easy! Thanks for your wonderful work. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Updates for Matt From: sliloh Date: Wed, January 09, 2013 3:16 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, Sorry for the delay. After spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years all by my lonesome, I had a great visit from my kids ;) I'll get to work on the changes tonight. I can edit audio, so should be able to cut part of that one out. I think your videos are great, and I'd say I'm not a complete newbie and definitely not a non-believer. I went through a dialectical behavior therapy course a few times during a bad time in my life. It's a lot easier to understand it intellectually than it is to apply it. ;) Anita --- Paid $300 on dentist bill IMS is moving to 425 Market St. San francisco CA June-ish --- 6 out --- Safeway returned $10 serrated knife 7:30 SR --- LI-EIN Is it time to ‘make friends’ with our emotions? Matt, feelings matter alright and they carry a ton of clout. The HeartMath Institute Research shows that the magnetic energy of feeling is about 5,000 times greater than thought alone. We hinder our self - spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically when we try (notice I said, 'try') to repress them or ignore them. Now that I've come to honor them as a part of my natural physiology and learn how to harness them in a healthy way, I feel not only calmer and clearer, I also feel that my decisions are more intelligent. By Valencia Ray, MD --- 8:01 FB-EIN There has been much discussion on whether EQ / empathy / compassion is actually a teachable skill, or do you have to kinda be 'born' with it. Here's more important research to show (as we've seen for years) that compassion is, in fact, very teachable! "Stanford researcher Hooria Jazaieri and colleagues (including GGSC Science Director Emiliana Simon-Thomas) randomly assigned 100 adults to a nine-week compassion cultivation training program or to a waitlist control condition. Before and after taking the compassion course, participants completed surveys that 'measured compassion for others, receiving compassion from others, and self-compassion.' Across all three domains, participants showed big increases in compassion. These papers clearly suggest that we can train people—in schools, workplaces, churches, and elsewhere—to ease suffering in themselves and others." http://ccare.stanford.edu/publications/enhancing-compassion-randomized-controlled-trial-compassion-cultivation-training-progra --- FB-ND What do you feel? Sorry vs. Sad There is the disheveled old man sitting at the exit off the freeway with his little, sad eyed dog. What emotion is he trying to engender in you so that you will give him money? He wants you to feel sorry for him so that you will give him money! And, more often than not, it works. However, you do have a choice of what to feel providing that you know that you th...ink. Most people do not know that they think. They believe that they are the victims of feelings, both their own and others. Once you accept that what you think (which includes your beliefs, your expectations, and your conclusions about yourself, others, the world, etc.) then you become responsible for your feelings and, as a consequence, your behaviors. People that I chose to feel sorry for, I may become co-dependent with and want to be their rescuer. Rescuers tend to become victims. If I chose to become a rescuer, sooner or later I will become the victim. I am not saying that you should never feel sorry for someone or help someone who cannot help themselves. - Myron Doc Downing, Ph.D., LFMT --- LI-EIN Matt's EQ Stuff - - GREAT NEWS - - - Happiness is a learned skill! - Success is a learned skill - Joy is a learned skill - Empathy is a learned skill - Teamwork is a learned skill - Leadership is a learned skill - Mental Health is a learned skill - Peace is a learned skill - Love is a learned skill - Sobriety is a learned skill - Serenity is a learned skill - Self-Esteem is. - Self-Discipline is. - Self-Acceptace is - Self-Awareness is. - Even Self-Love can be learned, and cultivated. (image what our world would be like if most people loved themselves...:) - Communications - Compassion - Intimacy - Togetherness - Us/we/our vs. I/me/mine Life is a learned skill. (...as my mom, 77, told me last week, after being diagnosed with Parkinson's... "Growin' old is not for wimps." It turns out that inner strength and personal power are also learned skills!) Yeehaa... --- 1.09 10:45pm Mary, Bill, Gail LBL Ok, now the filtering works... phew... I had to build a new query, then figure out which filter dropdown was used, then change the SQL in the query based on which dropdown was used, save it, export it to an Excel file, and make sure the file exists before notifying you of its success. Someone's in PAD, so the new code is in PAD_Tester. Test it and see how it goes. If all's well, ask everyone to get out, and then Bill, if you would archive PAD, then copy and rename PAD_Tester to PAD, you'll be ready to roll. Hope that works well for you. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Fwd: Exporting option is not working in the PAD Access database From: Mary Tydingco Date: Mon, January 07, 2013 7:40 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: "Bill W. Ou" , Gail Mosley Hi Matt, I ran a test. I searched for "Moses, William" and then used the new "Export to Excel" button. It appears to dump all the records 1267 lines. Do you know why the pull down option to Excel under the menu "External Data" is not working? --- 1.10 05ish up, heater on (quick!) wet comb hair (showered yesterday) get dressed (it's cold today) Sliloh updated the testimonials page... getting excellent! 06:05 John Maerz commented on There is no such thing as Right or wrong/ Good or Bad...It is something very relative.......what is boon to some might be a curse for... "Catherine- I agree. It would eliminate a lot of sadness, hurt and anger if all of us were, first, perceptive enough to realize that our current way of life teaches kids to treat everyone else as Christmas trees and second, had the courage and strength to teach them to be compassionate. Through video games, shopping malls, wall street, the news media and sports, just to name a few, our animal nature has bled through and we have allowed our hearts to become buried with the excuse of survival. Our national bird has morphed from the eagle to the ostrich and the hyena. John- --- 06:22 WOOHOO!! Love the new page layout! great icons. I love how the videos continue until stopped... well done. I just watched 'em all, and they're all excellent... made me teary... watch Karen's again... damn... she made such HUGE strides, it's really amazing. Divorced, broken, 4 little ones, suicidal, cutter... to... new relationship, got herself to university (magna cum laude), now a social worker for the county, super-proud grandma and finishing her Master's in Counseling to become a therapist! She's a poster child for what we do. Larry, too. ha. a couple things, if you're up for it... - can you change the header to be more desriptive (see wording below), and can you start with Karen, rather than Kathy? How about adding 6 1-minute video thumbnails underneath the large one, so they can see their choices? - Cool 'secrets' page. I have one of those, too (but not in html). FYI: 2GetHelp is always spelled 2GetHelp, not 2 Get Help (except for where the state misspelled it on our Articles of Incorporation). HEADINGS Success Stories Read / Listen / Watch ND grads talk about their experiences before, during and (especially) after the workshop! Written Testimonials We get all kinds of thank-you's and atta-boy's -- via letters, email and IM -- here are some of our best. Audio Click on the graphic below to see a list of radio shows, interviews and lessons Video One-minute Testimonials (1 minute) My old camera could only hold videos up to 1-minute on a floppy, so here are some quickies Full Interviews (12-20 minutes) Watch their faces closely, and you can see they have sincerely benefitted from this EQ work TV Shows and Teachings Miscellaneous Just for fun, here are some silly folks practicing teamwork and togetherness (the 3 ND Group Cheers) --- PP = 2647 not bad after a trip to AZ! --- http://www.tomhopkins.com/testimonials.shtml --- Cheryl Hey sis. You probably know that we just lost Zig Ziegler to pneumonia about a month ago. sad. In fact, paula had pneumonia at the same time, so that was scary. Also, I happened to ride the ski lift last week with a guy who's the road mgr for Tom Hopkins (big-time sales trainer, travels 20-25 days/mo), and he knew Zig, and said it was really sad at the end, 'cause they had Zig out on stage waaay past where he was comfortable... they'd wheel him out in his wheelchair, and Zig's son would do most of the talking. used up and off he went. well, actually, that's how I wanna go, too! sharing, teaching, helping... I'll sleep later. luv ya. thanks again for the cool quotes everyday! - Matt --- 07:02 FB-ND 7 / 1 I'm happy to say that Doc's still going strong! He does individual therapy and every Sat morning, a free HUGE GROUP Therapy in Fresno. see http://www.act-fresno.com for more. Doc has the clearest way of putting things... boiling down complex emotional concepts into simple, clear, memorable, practical EQ sayings that have helped changed many, many lives! --- , check out IMS Medical cards on one page print it --- --------------- mcp ----------------- "The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway." - Henry Boye Having somewhere to go is HOME. Having someone to love is FAMILY. Having both is a BLESSING! --- 07:34 New "PayPal Here" credit card processor for phone works GREAT! can swipe or SCAN the card, or type it in, or Invoice, or pay cash and I saved the 4 euc order sizes (1/2, 1, 2, 5) practice charged myself $17.95 - worked beautifully, and sent receipt , call Kara, LM --- 08:20 ferry clear and cold, beautiful out --- Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. - Benjamin Franklin --- Got it, Alicia! A 1-lb. combo to: Connie Caldwell 18329 County Road 420A Puxico, MO 63960 with gift card and Tracking number emailed to alicialaw@aol.com out tomorrow! right? - Matt --- 5pm Shruti met with me Too early to work every other week at home. DAE shoulda been done sooner. tedious. other stuff in IMS. Access don't feel bad, doing well. --- 6-7 met with Michele, Carrie and Liz (artists) at the ferry bldg. to advise on CMS $60, maybe hire PR 7:20 ferry 8:10 SR, pack and go... 8:25 CostCo drive... (car seat is so uncomfortable that I'm motorvated to keep driving home) --- 1.11 00:30ish AM/PM in Willits ($3.35, them and Safeway are best in NoCal!) chat with station mgr from Nepal some nappage on 20 04:34 home from SF dogs greet! --- PC Startup, runs full speed for over 15 min. -- virus! HPAdvisor adobearm.exe DocVideo.exe dwm.exe CLMLSvc.exe OSA.exe MS Office in Startup ccsvchst.exe googledrivesync.exe Adobe PhotoShop works, with registration(!) Adobe Illustrator's free trial period has ended and it needs a serial number to work I found a serial number generator online, but I'm afriad to download and use it. Adobe Air? Removed Ask Toolbar Camtasia Studio 5's free trial ended, removed Google Earth HughesNet Downlaod Manager, rem HughesNet Status Meter, rem LabelPrint? --- 05:08 LI-EIN 16 / 29 John Maerz commented on It’s the problem, not the person When we blame a person for something, we're often localizing OUR difficulty with a situation. This way, when we leave the person, we can also tell ourselves we're leaving the problem and that "it's not our responsibility." If we accept the difficulty as something more "universal," we're getting closer to realizing that everything we see as a difficulty has a tremendous amount to do with our own expectations for how we choose to respond to the situation. Then, when we leave, it travels with us. :-( Blaming a person is a great way to escape and deny our own involvement and accountability for how we choose to believe and would rather not change. - MAHMOOD M. commented on Is it time to ‘make friends’ with our emotions? Friendship is an emotional act, so one cannot make friendship without emotions. The friendship with out emotions is a partnership (a business). - Julia J. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi, I am Julia. My interest in EQ stems from being an HR professional for over 16 years (although I now focus on BD) I still keep my hand in HR. I have used various psychometric assessments over the years and am level B qualified. I have a personal interest in what makes people tick, why people behave in certain ways and how you can help people channel their emotions positively. Having worked at board level, I spent a lot of time trying to help senior business people understand and control their own emotional intelligence whilst at the same time opening up their receptiveness to others. I am looking forward to participating and learning more about EQ - If you have a headache are you mentally ill? The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain - What is EQ? “Emotional Intelligence is being smart with feelings so you can develop optimal relationships with yourself and others.” - Six Seconds definition Dr. Glen Hepker • In speaking in the spirit of humility, it is Acting Without Acting...doing the right thing, for the right sake, without the need for selfish recognition or hidden agendas. It is treating others with dignity, decency, goodness, and grace (grace rooted philosophically and/or religiously) - and figuring out how to truly mean it...no matter what. It is the true responsibility of supporting others in their healthful goals. It is realizing we are all in the same boat, not so separate as we most often think and act. In this truly well-meaning and healthful spirit, it is taking True Responsibility for our own health and wellbeing. It is expressing oneself in the healthful, loving, and selfless spirit of True Honesty...the spirit of doing the right thing for the right sake, without hidden agendas. True Honesty is promoting of True Happiness and True Freedom. It is promoting of a WAY OF LIFE that more and more there is less and less to hide behind. In deep realization of this blossoming effect on one's life,,,way of being, it is amazing in the difference in people who are attracted to you. There is a huge difference between want vs. need (can be quite complicated...yin to yang and yang to yin...reflecting back and forth): If you learn to be truly happy within yourself, you don't really 'need' in the same way. Ashok Kumar • Emotional Intelligence is present when one applies positive thought to condition his/her responses in using faculties and emotions to deal with any given situation. This ensures perfect balance regardless of ones own earlier opinion. Its a shift in mindset that allows control over ones emotions and yet retain the humane aspect of oneself. As an example, Ego sees competition as a threat. Humility sees competition as an opportunity to go the extra mile. And that is always by being better than what we once were - instead of destroying the other. EQ is present whenever we think about a thought, or have a feeling about a feeling. It's awareness, insight, understanding, appreciation and control/management of our emotional self. It's - Myron Doc Downing • Here is a concept that I believe needs to be taught in schools: Guilt vs. Remorse “The man being sentenced, showed no remorse.” Courts no longer want a criminal to show guilt or to express guilt. So, what is the difference between guilt and remorse? A client who regularly attends Huge Group put it this way. Guilt is all about you; it is self-centered and self-absorbed. Remorse is about the other person; it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling what it must have been like for them. Guilt is not a constructive emotion. Whenever you feel guilty, you will set yourself up to be punished. The punishment can range from hitting yourself in the head and saying, “Oh, that was really stupid of me,” to becoming depressed (I don’t deserve to be happy) to doing some behavior that gets you arrested (punished). Getting arrested can often result in feelings of guilt, which can lead to screwing up and getting arrested again, etc. It is not easy to put yourself into someone else’s shoes and to feel the heartbreak, pain and shame that they are feeling. It takes someone who knows what they feel, who can accept their own feelings without judgments, and then accept other people’s feelings without judging them. What other ways can you think of to learn how to feel what another person might be feeling? Is the ability to feel remorse the start of having empathy? - Ray Mathis • Doc, Good clarification on guilt and remorse. Actually never thought about the internal external nature of them. Just usually teach remorse as being a more functional emotion than guilt, which like you noted, so often has untoward effects, including sometimes some serious self-punishing behavior. Likewise, treat regret as the functional cousin of shame, which itself is a common, and often unrecognized source of needless misery and even self-punishing and self-destructive behavior. You do CBT, right? I seem to remember that from looking at your website. Ellis used the two terms USA and UOA for Unconditional Self-Acceptance and Other Acceptance. Very important thing to teach and encourage kids to have, or people of any age for that matter. Remember the old Joe South song from the '70's, "Before you accuse, criticize or abuse, walk a mile in my shoes". My mother use to always ask me, "How would you feel if someone did that to you?" It worked. Which is why I sometimes get frustrated at people in my own profession who treat kids in ways in public that they would be mortified and furious about if their principal or superintendent did an analogous thing to them. For example, st our last group meeting, the school psychologist burst into our group and told some kid he couldn't be there because he was failing a class (which is what I was working with him on) and dressed him down in front of the other kids. Even worse, she went to his counselor and she came in and demanded he leave. If their principal or superintendent did that to them in front of other teachers, they'd be furious. Discipline should always be as private as possible. Not to mention how discounting it was to what I was working on with the student at the time. What do you think they'd do if I burst into one of their counseling sessions and told their student he had to leave? It all comes down to that old Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Amazing how many people forget it. But that happens when people make themselves angry needless. Anger makes otherwise smart, and even empathic people do stupid things.. - Ray Mathis The only problem is that because people aren't taught about emotions, they often don't know there's anything awry in their lives, and often accept a dysfunctional amount of emotion as an inevitable outcome of their lives. But it's not. For example, when I teach students, or adults, the formula for feelings, EVENT + THOUGHTS = FEELING, that's more often than not a new and striking revelation for them. Heck, it was for me when a colleague told me "It's your choice how you want to feel" for the first time in my late 30's. Some people have a fuzzy picture that if people think one way they feel better or worse than if they think another way, but most don't put it together enough on their own to help themselves. It's like that old saying, "Ignorance is bliss", except for most folks, it's anything but bliss. - Ray Mathis • Having actually taught emotional management to students for nearly 4 decades, I'd like to share the common obstacles I always ran into. * There were parents and even staff who perceived what I was doing as "therapy". It never was. It was education. Education can be very therapeutic. I specifically would not allow kids to divulge any personal information about themselves or family in class. And would cut them off tactfully if they started to, and offer to talk to them later. But that perception often still persisted. Never warranted, but that never stopped people from having it. * A corollary to this was that they would question what my credentials were for doing what I did with students. And it often didn't matter to those questioning them that I did have all the necessary credentials. It was just another prone of attack against something they didn't agree with. Call it their plan B. * Parents would accuse me and the school of trying to impose our values on their children. Which is exactly the opposite of what I did. I always started with talking about having UOA, or Unconditional Other Acceptance, meaning that I believed whatever they thought, felt, said or did was understandable given their unique life history. And encouraging them to have USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance. But that perception persisted. I do admit to challenging and questioning beliefs if students made them public and they were inflammatory or defaming of others, like attacks on gays for example. And then it was something as simple as, "Please tell me one concrete way your life will change for the worse if two people of the same sex marry each other in another state 2000 miles away?" But I never did that with the intention of forcing my values on them. Everyone is free to think what they want too. My intention was simply to encourage them to examine the functionality of those beliefs in their current, and future life. I've always believed that's part of being a teacher. And I would always qualify any such efforts with "Look, you can look at things anyway you want. That's your right as a human being. And I'm sure the way you do is understandable given your life experiences" I often related the example of a friend of nearly 60 years now who grew up in a racist home and held a lot of racist beliefs. He went to WIU to play baseball, was really looking forward to being there, and when he got there, his roommate was African-American. He went home, never played baseball, and never finished college, and regretted it ever since. Those who objected to teaching about emotional management would often use the derogatory term "touchy-feely stuff". I suspect anyone, or any school, or any governmental institution that attempts to institute teaching about emotional management (intelligence) into the curriculum will probably run into to similar push backs. It helps to be prepared in advance. But what you say in defense won't always matter to those who object. --- Left stick in other pants get mcp.txt from IMS laptop (nope, from VDI, actually) --- 06:11 PP = 2701 --- ----------- mcp ------------ "I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown Face your demons http://blogs.terrapinn.com/happiness/2013/01/09/face-demons/ The ability to pursue what we care about despite the presence of pain and anxiety is what psychological flexibility is all about. --- ND Brochure The reason those demons Remain as demons is because they WANT OUR ATTENTION (and they'll get it, eventually, one way or another). Unresolved internal pain is like poison inside your body. and it's a poison we have very much control over! no pills, no silver bullet, no technique we have to master... it goes something like this... If I have big pain now, it is MOST LIKELY tied to stuff that happened to us in the past, prob. as a kid. "When, as a child, did I feel a similar feeling?" it's probably familiar to you. or "When, as a child, did I decide the same things I'm deciding now?" the child originally made the belief (bs)... are you setting up your life to PROVE yourself correct?!? are you actively looking for, and finding, Evidence that your original decision was true? check it out and be honest with yourself (it's hard... oh so hard sometimes, to be brutally honest with ourselves. actually, you can skip the 'brutally' part, and just be honest with yourself, out of respect and love, for you.) see also: "When, as a teenager, did I feel a similar feeling?" and "When, as a young adult, did I feel this way?" if you can get back to the core, down to the Heart of the matter, it's about unresolved pain from those big, life-defining events in our lives. What if you could take much of what you Don't Like about yourself, and change it, so you did/do/will? If you're not delving into the emotional side of your being, your person, your personality, your body, your mind and your soul, dude, you're missing out. And, you're not doing your best. emotional work is hard work. emotional work is painful... in fact, it's the definition of pain. Please Air, I No. Pissed, Angry, Inconsolable, Narcissistic Propose An Image Now "Pain is weakness leaving your body." - Josh Lobue's t-shirt while snow-boarding in AZ --- IMS 'til 4:37 2 rush orders zip to USPS with doggies (1st time Bud and Spot ride in Rav4) (Chris is retiring... sad) CVS, case of pkp's wine home 6:30 back to D'Aurillio's with PKP, PR, Josh large pizza, huge salad, pasta, soup, bread - yum!, $74 sit down to wathc TV paula covers me up, boom, gone --- 1.12 04:20 up, gotta pee, and Carmel and Bella laying on me , ,MMF EBlast (first) ,LBL query IMS Fact Report spreadsheet ,LI-EIN ,FB orders tomorrow BIG Playoff Games today 10:30 xBroncos vs. Ravens(!) 1:30 49ers vs. Packers ... and two more tomorrow Patriots vs Texans Falcons and ... ? --- LI-EIN 21 / 3 Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello Josh, my name is Tammy. My interest in EQ come clear after working in many fields of business for over 20 years. I have developed my keen sense of emotional awareness throughout my career and have realized how important it is to balance my stress, recognize and manage my emotions, connect with others, use my sense of humor and play to deal with challenges, and to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence. I am happy to be on board, and look forward to learning more about this amazing tool. By Tammy Glace A new question that every CPO should be asking, "How do I promote Kindness as a part of my organization's culture?" --- Email Archive on GoDaddy 88,919x(!) 4,832Mb --- Reports: Kings may move to Seattle http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/sacramento-kings-owners-maloofs-sale-seattle-move-010913 --- 05:41 USPS, ordered 3 cases of Game Boxes 1 for me 1 for Philo 1 for FB(!) got 4 cases of starter boxes yesterday printed 100 Euc labels and instructions and MA labels --- 06:10 MFF eblast, Welcome, Melissa! --- Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. - Jalal Ad-Din Rumi Matters of the Heart - Tracy Chapman --- 06:40- LBL 07:27 Bill, Mary, Gail Try it now in PAD_Tester. - Matt --- persuasive argument what's the prob? show it what's our solution? here's why conclusion restate the prob restate why our solution is best Call to action --- 08 to house to get Paula going coffee, hot cereal, chicken sandwhich swept kitchen area and garage fed Bella girl 09:35 PP = 2700 downloaded Nov and Dec Monthly Financials and Monthly Sales Nov. 100 orders, 1 refund ($17.95), $2,150 Dec. 116 orders, 0 refunds, $2,718 Jan (1/1-1/12). 56 orders, 0 refunds, 1,274 >$100/day avg. 4.3 orders/day Nice! --- bought and downloaded Paper Template, a WordPress plugin for sales License key = 111d1982173decd22dc2d2bf073df735 License email = matt@2GetHelp.com Your Membership Info: U: MattPerelstein P: 2gethelp Login URL: http://www.newbiecrusher.com/members/wp-login.php Installation Instructions Play Video You will need this information to activate certain the plugin when you install it on your blog. To add this to your membership site, all you have to do is: Download the zip file to your hard drive Login to your WordPress backend, click "Plugins, Add New" then the "Upload Tab" Upload that zip file and install the plugin Go to "Pages, Add New" to create your sales letter Add your title, headline (header 1), subheadline (header 2), text, bullet points, testimonial boxes (blockquote -- the quote symbol above your post) Scroll below the post to the "Paper Template" area to add your order button, set your front page and configure your navigation After Publishing your page, go to "Settings, Paper Template" to fill in your business information --- , stop $20 payment to Amnesty Int'l (212) 633-4254 calendared for Monday morning, early 6x made, should get accounting via mail for 2012, and another, next year, for 2013 --- 11:26 Helping Hands Sacramento IHSS, Samoanas, nice, and Strong --- --- 1.12 noon, on at the house, watching football playoffs - Broncos AND 49ers Paula's at a boot-making class, and she just called to ask if she could go again tomorrow. when there are 2 MORE games! --- D-R Resume Stats Euc orders: > 2,000 Consulting Contracts: 83 --- Feb. 8, Fresno, CA Apr. 5, San Rafael, CA July 19, Seattle, WA --- Broncos vs. Ravens 1:45 7-0 1st post-season 90-yard punt return. chips to celebrate salsa? (yep!) guac? cerveza? chili, cheese, salsa on top, on a chip... not bad needs jalepenos --- 2:41 mid of 2nd qtr. 21-14 Broncos! - Superbowl Pepsi crowdphotos welcoming Beonce submit your photo to Pepsi --- Doing Enjoy's on 75 starter boxes --- 3:08 Orders 4x since I've been here! 2S, MA Kris Cook 4922 Menominee Lane Clarkston, MI 48348 - Jennifer Mutton 26 S Edgewood Dr Springville, NY 14141 Wish: 2B, 3' D'Rozon, 1/2L Bronx, NY --- Catherine P. commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? "Bless the beasts and the children ... "more… "Bless the beasts and the children For in this world they have no voice They have no choice… Light their way when the darkness surrounds them And give them love, let it shine all around them Bless the beasts and the children Give them shelter from the storm… The Carpenters --- 2nd eblast for Volunteers for Feb. 16 events, 2, 5, 8 The MFF will reprise its popular love-themed short films program, All We Need is Love, which sold out three times at last June’s festival. If you missed out the first time, or you want to see these terrific films again, save Saturday, February 16 for screenings in the village of Mendocino. Watch for further details at MendocinoFilmFestival.org. The future is bright for the MFF because our future includes you. Please email us at volunteer@mcn.org if you would like to sign up for one of our three screenings. (Insert times of screenings). --- 4:46 Pete - FI$Cal I do meet these qualifications well, as evidenced by them hiring me the first time around. But there are a few other minor issues.... I have a job now, a 'real' job, as a 'permanent' employee, with benefits, and all. That means a few things... - They gave me a sign-on bonus to join them, and if I don't make it a year, I gotta pay it back. - This is gonna have to be a heckuva rate to make it make sense for me to quit. What's the best you can offer? Would it be W-2 or 1099? I'll need to get my own benefits, right? - This is back in Sac, which still working far away from home. The nature of the FI$Cal tasks are certainly conducive to working a good portion of the time (maybe half) off-site. Do you think we can address these issues? If so, we can proceed. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Seeking Referrals for FI$Cal Data Conversion Project From: Pete Christopher Date: Sat, January 12, 2013 3:28 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt – Yeah, there was supposed to be an attachment. I believe we have here yet another ID10T error. Sigh. Here’s the whole thing. I can’t say what happened during your first experience with this, but MetaVista has closed its doors, so there may have been issues completely unrelated to your fit on the project. Given that, if you feel like a good match for this please get a current resume to me as soon as possible. Thanks, Pete. Pete Christopher Sr. Technical Recruiter Stanfield Systems Inc. 718 Sutter Street, Suite 108 Folsom, CA 95630 Office: 916-358-7117 Mobile: 916-261-3501 Email: Pete@StanfieldSystems.com LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/petechristopher From: matt@2gethelp.com [mailto:matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Saturday, January 12, 2013 3:28 PM To: Pete Christopher Subject: RE: Seeking Referrals for FI$Cal Data Conversion Project Hey Pete! a. Was there supposed to be an attachment? b. This is a tough one, because I already had that job! I was with MetaVista Consulting, and we won the contract... had it for about 2 months... and were let go... all 5 of us. Our leadership didn't get along well with theirs. I'm not sure if that means I'm very qualified, or if it would tend to eliminate me from contention. whatchathink? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Seeking Referrals for FI$Cal Data Conversion Project From: pete@stanfieldsystems.com Date: Sat, January 12, 2013 3:17 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt -- We are on a team bidding the Fi$Cal Data Conversion project and are seeking to fill key roles on the project team. I wanted to know if you might know would be interested in one of the key roles listed in Section VI on Table VI.1, Mandatory Staffing Qualifications. We are looking to staff on any of the key roles, but are specifically focused on 5, 7, 8 & 9 (in case your network spans to those skill sets). The project is a 4 year+ effort. It goes without saying, but ideally resources with CalSTARS , FI$Cal, Finance knowledge or experience would be highly desired. I am trying to get an idea of where we might be able to play in the next 24-48 hours, so initial interest at this point and a resume is all I need for the moment. Legacy Systems Data ETL Specialist: The Legacy Systems Data ETL* Specialist must have minimum of two (2) years of experience performing legacy systems data ETL activities (including post ETL data validation) using Oracle Data Integrator ETL Tool and an SQL** Tool for a large-scale software project implementation. **SQL is defined as Structured Query Language *ETL is defined as extract, transform, load 1) Extract -- the process of extracting data from a database. 2) Transform -- the process of converting the extracted data from its previous form into the form it needs to be in so that it can be placed into another database. Transformation occurs by using rules or lookup tables or by combining the data with other data. 3) Load -- the process of writing the data into the target database Validation – provide the post ETL process validation strategies to ensure quality data. Regards, Pete. Pete Christopher Sr. Technical Recruiter Stanfield Systems Inc. 718 Sutter Street, Suite 108 Folsom, CA 95630 Office: 916-358-7117 Mobile: 916-261-3501 Email: Pete@StanfieldSystems.com LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/petechristopher Broncos LOST in 2OT, by a field goal. They were up by a touchdown with 0:32 left, and they left a guy open for a 50+ yard pass for a TD. very sad for Manning and all. Champ Bailey had a horrible game, too. --- 7:53 Name Type Launch Date Sent Open Click Bounce Unsub Welcome, Melissa! Canvas Jan 12, 2013 12:54PM 2,239 21.04% 1.97% 0.63% 0.31% Hey Paul, I replied via our 'other' email that I wanted to attend, and tried arranging to work at home next week so I could attend, but alas, it is not to be... sorry. We sent out an eblast today. I know you like stats, so here are the numbers so far: Name Type Launch Date Sent Open Clicks Bounce Unsubscribes Welcome, Melissa! Canvas Jan 12, 2013 12:54PM 2,239 21.04% 1.97% 0.63% 0.31% I'll arrange to meet Melissa in the next week or two. I have high hopes for her joining us. I hope you and Nancy are well. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Monday night From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Sat, January 12, 2013 5:17 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Hi Matt, Any chance you can get your bod to our little shindig on Monday? It’d be great if you could but maybe you’re down in the big city working. Just wondering......let me know would you? Many thanks, PK --- pause... 10:40 LI-EIN Catherine P. commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? ""The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi ... "more… ""The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi "The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him." ~ Rudyard Kipling "If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very very few people." ~ James Thurber "A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg." ~ Samuel Butler "I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." ~ Hippolyte Taine "Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one" ~ Anonymous "Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled" ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky "A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue." ~ Anonymous "The dog represents all that is best in man." ~ Etienne Charlet "The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp." ~ John Berry "And God took a handful of southernly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse." ~ Bedouin Legend "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." ~ Andrew A. Rooney "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." ~ Chinese Proverb "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." ~ Mary Bly "Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." ~ George Elliot "The Trouble with a kitten is That Eventually it becomes a Cat" - Ogden Nash "The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too." ~ Samuel Butler "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." - Abraham Lincoln "If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer." ~ Alfred North Whitehead "...he will be our friend for always and always and always." ~ Rudyard Kipling "The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much." ~ Thornton Wilder "When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her." ~ Montaigne " --- watched 2nd half of 9ers vs. Packers good game, 9ers won 45-31! pause... sitting up, on coach, touching Bella (sweetest, most loving dog I've ever seen!) --- 1.13 5:22 D'Rozon Shipping took longer than expected over the holiday, but you actually received the Euc order, didn't you? And, since I couldn't prove it with a tracking number, and you never told PayPal, they decided in your favor, and you got your money back, right? Congrats, you won. Enjoy your FREE Eucs leaves! - Matt - I never did. --- 06:09 no internet radio tv work on brochure, please --- , clean house heater filter trash, compost, recycle orders IMS MFF voluntunteer eblast watch some football (but not too much) include in Peeps, way above MFF film-fest-board@googlegroups.com Mendocino Film Festival P.O. Box 1843 Mendocino, CA 95460 707-937-0171 send drop ship docs to Elena top of fridge --- 06:20 Oh, ok. Well, please confirm your address and I'll try again tomorrow then. D'Rozon 2332 Tiebout Ave Apt 6L Bronx, NY 10458-7342 Enjoy. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Notification of payment received From: Ariel Duran Date: Sun, January 13, 2013 5:26 am To: "" I never did.. You have a nice day.. --- 07:02 Hey dude... thanks for the note... sorry for the delay. "Had a could season"? Hope you meant "good season"! Yeah, we drove to Flagstaff, AZ to see/celebrate New Years with my parents, sister and bro... very nice... very cold (-2 when we left), but excellent to see them all! Mom was just diagnosed with Parkinson's a few weeks ago, so it was good timing. Got to get skiing, too, which was (amazingly expensive), but super-fun, too. Still playing tennis in the winter? Are the washing machines still screamin' out the doors? I applied for my old job back yesterday, a 4-year gig in Sac. IMS is cool, but... Thanks again for the note. I think of you often, and wish you the best! - Matt --- 07:08 Hi Elena, THANKS for the note... and sorry for the delay... I'm usually super-responsive, esp. to orders! I try to keep my wholesale program simple and just charge 1/2 of my retail + shipping. So, for example, a 1/2# of anything (like a Starter pack) retails at $11.95, so it'd be half that or $6 + $6 shipping = $12. Sell it for whatever you can, send me my share via PayPal (matt@2gethelp.com) with the customer's address and I'll ship it directly to your customer. ... AND you can create your own customized instruction page and return address label so they think it's coming from YOU (see attached)! Any questions? --- ND Brochure our past coming back to haunt us in the present. --- 07:22 Hi Misty! Thanks for the nice note (and sorry for the delay). Steve and Cheryl are two of my/our favorite people ON THE PLANET, so any friend of theirs is a friend of ours, too! :) Sorry about your relationship stuggles... I sure understand about our past coming back to haunt us in the present. But, I applaud you for wanting to get it cleaned up and outta your way. It's tuff work, but oh so worth it! We have 3 classes scheduled so far. See www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com for more info. Feb. 8, Fresno, CA Apr. 5, San Rafael, CA July 19, Seattle, WA ... but aren't you in NZ?? Are you thinking of coming here? The normal price is $399, but since you're a friend, I can give you a big discount. Anything else I can answer for you? Take care, and I hope to talk/meet soon. - Matt - From: Misty Steuben Subject: wondering about your classes Message Body: Hello Matt and Paula My name is Misty, I am good friends with Steve and Cheryl Nolan. I'v heard them talk about you for many years, all positive I might add. I lost my husband to cancer a few years ago. I have recently become engaged to a sweetheart of a man, but we both have tragic backgrounds. This makes me uneasy with our future. We tend to give each other strength yet I think we could benefit with more support. It has been a long difficult road already. I think if we could put our pasts in a more positive prospective that our lives together would greatly benefit. can you please send a list of your up and coming classes and cost of these classes? thank you Misty Steuben --- EQ workshops in Dubai http://www.ktalk.info/index.php/workshops/item/92-emotional-intelligence-workshop Emotional Intelligence Workshop Print Email People in the grip of overwhelming emotions are typically ineffective. Consequently, one of the most essential components of success—by some accounts more important than academic intelligence—is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage one’s emotions and stay on course even when navigating life’s most challenging storms. Just as we are responsible for the quality of our outer life, we are responsible for the quality of our inner life as well. In fact, cognitive psychologists suggest that we can only perceive what is going on outside of us through the lens of what is going on inside of us. Our inner conversations create our interpretation of the events going on around us, and in this way, our thoughts actually create our “reality.” People who are emotionally intelligent are skilled at controlling the content of their consciousness. This skill allows them to make wise choices, while others struggle merely to survive their emotional storms. When we assist participants to gain greater emotional intelligence, we empower them not only to be more effective in the pursuit of their dreams, but also to experience happiness, joy, and peace of mind on their journey. At KTalk we are after Empowering you to . . . - Take responsibility for the quality of your inner experience of life. - Honor your emotions, seeing both pleasant and unpleasant emotions as important feedback for keeping you on course. - More consciously choose the content of your consciousness, thinking and speaking more positively about yourself, others, and the world, thus creating an experience of greater optimism, joy, and happiness. - Avoid emotional hijackings, thus persisting in the face of challenges and setbacks. - Learn how to create more “flow” or peak experiences in your life. - Improve relationships through empathy for and an understanding of the emotions of others. - Postpone instant gratification for a later, greater reward. + Why should I attend? Because EI is essentially about attitudes and feelings, it follows that if aspects of our EI change, then we change as people. It may be that you want you to develop your flexibility so you are more constructive about the changes taking place around you. If you improve your attitudes towards flexibility, this will also impact on other areas of your life. You may, for example, find yourself wanting to do different things at work, with your family, taking up a new sport, or trying out food that you wouldn’t have eaten before. So, if through skilled facilitation and coaching, you develop your EI, it is not just one aspect in you that will improve. You will also experience changes at work, with your family and friends, at weekends, on holiday and in just about any situation you face. + Who should attend? Everyone The Workshop Track The Emotional Intelligence coaching workshop is approximately a 4-month program, consisting of 4 in-person experiential workshops. + Groundwork (2 days workshop) Introduction, the first level of our track, is a 2 days workshop through out it you will realize that EI is not about lots of unclear, touchy-feely ideas that are fun to read about or experience in a training programme, but when you go back to real life, nothing really happens. You will realize that yes, developing your EI will take time, but when it happens it will lead to sustainable behavior changes that will improve the way you manage yourself and the way you work with others. During those 2 days you will be in an exploration journey in your self, it will help you actually realize who you are, find your passions, desires and carvings. + Attitude (2 Days work shop) Regard, It is hard to develop EI if you do not value yourself and others. These core attitudes underpin development in all aspects of EI. 1.Self-Regard: the degree to which you accept and value yourself. How much do you value yourself as a person? Self-regard is about who you are, not what you do. All too often people develop conditions of worth to substitute for self-regard, focusing on what they achieve or own rather than who they are. If we like and accept ourselves it will have a positive impact on all situations. 2.Regard for Others: the degree to which you accept and value others as people, as distinct from liking or approving of what they may do. How much do you value others as people, as distinct from what they do? How often do you find yourself making judgments of others based on your own values? It is perfectly acceptable to criticize other people’s behavior (as long as it is constructive criticism), but never acceptable to judge them as a person. + Feeling (2 days workshop) Awareness, Self and Other Awareness is the foundation to developing EI. Our feelings tell us what we want, like and need so as to understand ourselves and other people. 1.Self-Awareness: the degree to which you are in touch with your body, your feelings and your intuitions. How well do you listen to what your body is telling you? Hundreds of times a day our emotional brain communicates with us via feelings. People with low self- awareness often don’t notice this or learn from it. 2.Awareness of Others: the degree to which you are in touch with the feeling states of others. How well tuned in are you to the feeling states of others? How well do you pick up on other people’s non-verbal cues telling you how they are feeling? Do you regularly show empathy towards others and really listen to what they are telling you? + Action (3 days workshop) Self-Management Self-Management is how we manage our thoughts, feelings and behavior in order to be personally effective. 1.Emotional Resilience: the degree to which you are able to pick yourself up and bounce back when things go badly for you. How well do you bounce back when things go wrong? It is a fact that we will all experience negative things in our lives that will trigger negative emotions. This could range from your train being cancelled to being fired from your job or losing a close friend. Emotional resilience is about how effectively you recover from these situations, turning negative attitudes, thoughts and emotions into more positive ones. 2.Personal Power: the degree to which you believe that you are in charge of, and take responsibility for, your outcomes in life, rather than seeing yourself as the victim of circumstances and/or of other people. How much do you take control of your life, seeing yourself as being responsible for your own actions? The opposite of personal power is to see yourself as a victim, always looking to blame other people or things for your failure to succeed. 3.Goal-Directedness: the degree to which your behavior is related to your own long-term goals. How clear are you on your goals and how much do your attitudes, beliefs and actions support you by moving you towards these goals? Or do you regularly find yourself procrastinating, looking for excuses or spending time on things that will not help you to achieve your goals? 4.Flexibility: the degree to which you feel free to adapt your thinking and your behavior to match the changing situations of life. Change is a fact of life. All of us will experience regular changes at work and at home. Flexibility is about how free you feel to adapt your thoughts, attitudes and behavior in times of change, seeing change as an opportunity for creating something new and better rather than resisting change and always trying to hold on to the way things used to be. 5.Invitation to Trust: the degree to which you invite the trust of others by being principled, reliable and consistent. How much do you invite the trust of others by being consistent, true to your word and reliable? Or are you a person who regularly changes opinion just to be liked by those around you, or maybe you regularly fail to keep promises and say things you don’t really mean? 6.Balanced Outlook: A healthy balance is tending towards optimism, but being sure to check out your hopes against reality. Do you have a tendency to be pessimistic, focusing on what’s wrong with things and highlighting problems rather than solutions? Do you always assume everything will be fine without taking the necessary action to make sure it is? Do you set unrealistic goals that you regularly fail to achieve? Having a balanced outlook is about generally keeping a positive attitude about things but also being realistic and objective about the likelihood of things succeeding and turning out the way you want. Relationship Management Relationship Management is how we manage our thoughts, feelings and behavior in our relationships in order to be interpersonally effective. 1.Personal Connectedness: The extent and ease to which you make significant connections with other people. How well do you make significant connections with others by being open and honest about your true feelings? How easy do you find it to be honest with yourself about how you feel and then be prepared to communicate this appropriately to others? 2.Trust: A healthy balance is being ready to trust others, but only to the extent of simultaneously looking after yourself and your interests. It is not good to totally trust all people all of the time, as this may lead to dis- appointment and allow others to take advantage of you. At the same time, the world would be a very lonely and negative place if you are always suspicious and never trust anyone in any situation. Emotionally intelligent trust lies somewhere in the middle, being carefully trusting of people, and remembering when it may be wise to keep things to yourself until that trust has been earned. 3.Emotional Expression: A healthy balance is being free to express your feelings, but also in control of whether, how and when to do so. You will experience hundreds of different emotions every day. Emotions can change very quickly – one moment you may be feeling relaxed and happy, the next you might be angry because somebody drove into the back of your car. Do you bottle up your emotions during the day, believing it is not appropriate or right to show how you are feeling? Do you have no control filter at all, always allowing your emotions to burst out into your behavior, however inappropriate it may be? Emotional expression is about choosing when to allow your emotions to show, feeling free to express your emotions, but also having enough control to select when and how you do this. 4.Conflict Handling: A healthy balance is to be assertive, standing up for your wants and needs, but staying calm and respecting the other while doing so. Conflict is a fact of life. Every day you will experience conflicts, whether they are small things or more important. Do you regularly shy away from conflict, feeling uncomfortable and believing that all conflict is bad? Do you use humor or other avoidance techniques to prevent direct discussion about disagreements? Do you view conflict as a battle, where there is a winner and a loser and you want to be the winner? Do you often find yourself shouting, interrupting and not listening to others, determined to have things your way? Both of these extremes (passive and aggressive) are ineffective ways of managing conflict. A healthy balance between these two approaches is being assertive; standing up for your own wants and needs while at the same time being prepared to listen to, understand and compromise with others. 5.Interdependence: A healthy balance in taking yourself and others into account. Do you depend too much on others, worried about how successful you would be on your own? Do you link your own identity too much with those around you, finding false security in the fact you have successful friends or are married to a great partner? Do you believe that the only way to get something done properly is to do it yourself? Do you think working with others holds you back and that you are much better off doing things on your own? Interdependence is about having healthy attitudes about working with others. While recognizing that you can be successful on your own, it is about truly believing that cooperating with others will lead to something more productive (having a 1+1 = 4 philosophy). + Insight ESCI Assessment, Realization is a key aspect when it comes to changing a habit, an attitude or a behavior; actually it is a corner stone. At the end of our reflection journey we answer the out sought question How emotionally intelligent am I? ESCI - Emotional and Social Competency Inventory tool help individuals to assess their levels of emotional intelligence to be able to identify their areas of development and then work on a development plan so they can be translated into personal effectiveness and competitive advantage for their life and work. ESCI is a 360-degree tool designed to assess the emotional and social competencies of individuals. The test is based on emotional competencies identified by Dr. Daniel Goleman & Dr. Richard Boyatzis. The use of the ESCI is limited to accredited users who can demonstrate the ability to give accurate, comprehensive feedback to their clients, which we are at KTalk. Why ESCI? Dr. Richard Boyatzis and Dr. Daniel Goleman effortless work has resulted in one of the most validated behavioral measures of emotional and social intelligence, based on hundreds of competency studies conducted throughout the world. It describes 12 competencies that differentiate outstanding performers from average performers. As it is behavioral, it enables us to assess, develop and coach you and embed this crucial capability within your value matrix. The ESCI process works as follows. Participants nominate whom they would like to get feedback from. Participants and their nominees complete the surveys online and, once we have received all the feedback, we analyze the results and produce a feedback report. We can also create a team composite report that shows a group’s profile against the competencies.? Our clients particularly appreciate the verbatim comments section of the report, where respondents comment on a participant’s key strengths and areas for development. For many people this is the first real, confidential feedback they have received. + Workshop Locations, Dates, Costs & Registration Abu Dhabi Groundwork Course: Introduction 1: 25 – 26 January 2013 Introduction 2: 15 – 16 February 2013 Core Courses: Option 1 Attitude: 15 - 16 March 2013 Feelings: 12 - 13 April 2013 Action: 10 - 11 May 2013 Option 2 Attitude: 29 – 30 March 2013 Feelings: 26 – 27 April 2013 Action: 24 - 25 May 2013 Dubai Groundwork Course: Introduction 1: 1 – 2 February 2013 Introduction 2: 22 – 23 February 2013 Core Courses: Option 1 Attitude: 22 - 23 March 2013? Feelings: 19 - 20 April 2013? Action: 17 - 18 May 2013 Tuition/ Registration Groundwork courses are AED 3,500 Core courses are AED 4,000 Insight is AED 750 --- 2 Euc hunting trips, on quad, via mill property, big hill, pics and video so nice(!) 2:17 PP = 2802 --- 2:32 Thanks, Pete. Attached are some of the bid submittal documents we used to get the original contract with FI$Cal. Hi Bart, let's talk sometime. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Seeking Referrals for FI$Cal Data Conversion Project From: Pete Christopher Date: Sun, January 13, 2013 2:15 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt – Thanks for sharing your concerns. I’m going to forward your email to Bart Battaglia, since he’s taking the lead on this right now. He’ll have more of the pricing details, for example, than I do at this point. I understand that you don’t want to lose the value of the signing bonus, but since I don’t know what our rate would be on this I have no idea if we could make it up to you or not. Whatever the rate, we could pay you w2 or company-to-company, which would put more in your pocket. For something that runs this long we could certainly bring you on as a fully-benefitted employee if that would work best for you. Anyway, watch for something from Bart or me in the next day or so. Meanwhile please send us both your most recent resume (in Word). Bart’s address is Bart@StanfieldSystems.com . Thanks, Pete. Pete Christopher Sr. Technical Recruiter Stanfield Systems Inc. 718 Sutter Street, Suite 108 Folsom, CA 95630 Office: 916-358-7117 Mobile: 916-261-3501 Email: Pete@StanfieldSystems.com LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/petechristopher From: matt@2gethelp.com [mailto:matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Saturday, January 12, 2013 4:42 PM To: Pete Christopher Subject: RE: Seeking Referrals for FI$Cal Data Conversion Project I do meet these qualifications well, as evidenced by them hiring me the first time around. But there are a few other minor issues.... I have a job now, a 'real' job, as a 'permanent' employee, with benefits, and all. That means a few things... - They gave me a sign-on bonus to join them, and if I don't make it a year, I gotta pay it back. - This is gonna have to be a heckuva rate to make it make sense for me to quit. What's the best you can offer? Would it be W-2 or 1099? I'll need to get my own benefits, right? - This is back in Sac, which still working far away from home. The nature of the FI$Cal tasks are certainly conducive to working a good portion of the time (maybe half) off-site. Do you think we can address these issues? If so, we can proceed. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 2:54 Jack C. Smiley Hey Dude! Do you still play on Monday mornings in Santa Rosa or somewhere?? I'd like to hook up with you tomorrow, or next Monday, to play. I can leave real early and be there whenever you're there. Whatchathink? Hope you and the fam are well! - Dude we play at noon in healdsburg Monday 5:18pm yikes... that's a bit late. I catch the 12:40 ferry from Larkspur, so that would be kinda tough. darn. I'll see if I can arrange it for a dif. Monday, but not tomorrow. You ok? Hopefully, only another month and we'll be going at it again!! --- 2:55 Dad, Cute! We're not quite THAT old yet... not even you guys! How'z mom? Are ya'll on facebook now? luv u. - Matt - Hi! Welcome to Facebook. Glad to have you connected here! Love you... see you NEXT WEEK! - Matt FB-IM Today Hi Matt, I'm not sure exactly how this part works but thought I'd take a chance. We are having some really cold weather here, -4 degrees last night, -4 again tonight, low teens during the day. Love to all, Mom & Dad Hey! it's working fine! Hi. brrr... beautiful here right now... I even have the door open. any standing water Froze last night, tho... it was pretty cool, crystalized in the sunlight this morning! Tell Mom HI for me! Matt, thanks for the response. We don't have our door open very much, because we try not to go outside too much. The house is pretty comfortable. This weather system is supposed to blow out of here by Wed. Mom has been going through pictures and can't find your school book pictures (Called School Years). She said you took it with you sometime in the past. Do you still have it? Hi to all. Also, please tell the kids how much we enjoyed having them here. Sorry we didn't get a chance to say goodbye to them. They are really nice kids. Send them our regards. M&D will do... thanks... actually, I already told them you guys REALLY liked them! I'll look around for the School Years album. I sure don't remember taking it, but if she does, and it's gone, chances are it's my memory (which has always been kinda stinky). That's why the pics have been so important to me, so I'll can remember. I still can't believe I'm in my 50's! feel like such a kid, at heart... which has been good for me... and bad. I'll grow up eventually, but I'm fighting it. --- Super Bowl Date is Feb. 3, 2013 (in 21 days) --- 3:12 Matt Perelstein There has been much discussion on whether EQ / empathy / compassion is actually a teachable skill, or do you have to kinda be 'born' with it. Here's more important research to show (as we've seen for years) that compassion is, in fact, very teachable! ...to repeat, "We can train people—in schools, workplaces, churches, and elsewhere—to ease suffering in themselves and others." That's BIG news... please tell others... that EQRocks! --- how often is the date a product of itself... hmmm? 1/13/13 1 x 13 = 13 --- 3-5 tom 4 propane tanks to Hidden Pines... nice fellow, great service. Rite Aid return electric scissors, won't go thru material. +$14.99+tax got 2 things of chew bones for the boys, $2 Safeway Steel Cut Oatmeal, banana, potatoes, 2 cat foods. --- 5:20, one more eblast out --- steak and mashers for dinner "Heart and Soul" slept on coach, with Spot, no blanket, with leg over spot (not comfortable) crash --- 1.14 02:30 up NFL highlights... great games set 2 champ games to record next Sunday --- 03:30+ orders 03:56 here in office to clean up IMS back to orders, 32x! --- LI-EIN ManagementGuru N. commented on Questions for EQ experts! EQ is a concept that can't be and shouldn't be treated in a lighter vein. It is a measure of how emotionally sta(b)le a person is. And when will it that be? Only when he is able to approach things from a rational point of view, overlooking the emotions which surge forward. Well, how many times have we accepted or even realised that our perceptions or points of view may be wrong ? EQ is applicable to the entire management and the team. HR experts need to develop a lot of hypothetical case studies and train the employees to manage any kind of situation. You will be surprised to note that all popular leaders in the world are very easy going and this can be attributed to their relationship management skills and their high self awareness and social awareness. The good thing is that persons can be trained to increase their EQ and it is not a fixed entity like IQ. Vedhic scriptures like BHAGAVAT GITA has loads of information on this concept- "How to keep one's mind calm and focused during a crisis, how to differentiate between the right and the wrong, how to control your mind and the like". Come to think of this, if the entire population has high EQ, do you think life will be interesting without all the conflicts and commotion? --- 4-6:15 orders, with heater on, as it's 28ish degrees! ran out, wait for sunrise at 7ish 06:34 lost a sub 8.07.10 Ileana Kistler $11.95 S imkistler726@gmail.com 214 n tryon st, ste 2500, charlotte, NC 28202-2381 but her last few payments had failed, anywayz --- yay... glad to hear it! That's Ok, we'll call it a customer appreciate freebie this time, k? Let me know when you're ready to re-sign up. I can vary the subscription to other than monthly, if that would work better for you. Take care. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: imkistler726@gmail.com's subscription to Eucs- 1/2 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled] From: Ileana Kistler Date: Mon, January 14, 2013 6:47 am To: "" Hi Matt- Not going anywhere. I'm traveling and haven't been able to get on Paypal and update my new card info. I tried from my phone but it was too much of a pain. Feel free to invoice me for last week's order. Thanks- Ileana On Jan 14, 2013, at 9:34 AM, wrote: Hi Ileana, Sorry to see you go! Last week, I sent out your order in anticipation of receiving payment, my fault. I hope all is well of you and yours. Thanks for being such a loyal customer for over 2 years! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: imkistler726@gmail.com's subscription to Eucs- 1/2 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled From: "service@paypal.com" Date: Mon, January 14, 2013 5:44 am To: Hello EucProducts of California, ileana kistler's subscription to Eucs- 1/2 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled. --- Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance --- 09:00 go! USPS SR 10-10:45 Philo USPS 10:50 Bart, FI$Cal... NOPE!, needs Oracle ETL 11 IMS Stand up logged in, then outta range for a half hour pulled over when received signal again, and Lakisha called on me next! 12:57 SR stayed, again (No SF, yay!) 'missed ferry since I had to pull over to take call' 1:20 - 4 IMS 4 Ayman via Skype re: Feel.org Emotional Literacy is the antedote to violence, killing, etc. MailChimp subscribe, thank you for the subscription spoke re: collect signatures right away 1 email, Thank you for signing... ask to opt-in to receive emails about us in the future take the emotional literacy channel out, nothing there corrected history Needs FB connection Marshall is working on it now 50k emails ready to go, when all are perfect pre-launch ask others to add to campaign main priority - Petition on Change.org https://www.change.org/petitions/us-secretary-of-education-unesco-education-commission-ensure-emotional-literacy-becomes-a-core-part-of-every-child-s-education?utm_campaign=mailto_link&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition Petitioning US Secretary of Education, UNESCO Education Commission 2This petition will be delivered to: US Secretary of Education, UNESCO Education CommissionUS Secretary of Education, UNESCO Education Commission: Ensure EMOTIONAL LITERACY becomes a core part of every child's education. Petition by FEEL.org - The Emotional Literacy Campaign Thank you for signing the petition "US Secretary of Education, UNESCO Education Commission: Ensure EMOTIONAL LITERACY becomes a core part of every child's education." Multiply your impactTurn your signature into dozens more by sharing this petition and recruiting people you know to sign.YOUYOUR FRIENDS170avg.THEIR FRIENDS10,000approx. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Emotional Literacy is the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our emotions and it is an essential ingredient for life success, vibrant health, happiness and peace. When children develop emotional literacy, they solve problems for themselves. Emotions are a core driver of human behavior, so increasing emotional literacy means children are better able to understand themselves and one another, communicate, connect, innovate, and make peace. In today's world of accelerating change and complexity, children urgently need these essential skills for self-awareness and understanding. EMOTIONAL LITERACY is the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our emotions. Just as verbal literacy is the basic building-block for reading and writing, emotional literacy is the basis for perceiving and communicating emotions. Becoming emotionally literate is learning the alphabet, grammar and vocabulary of our emotional lives. Emotions are an integral part of human nature. Through emotions we respond to life in many different ways -- with anger, happiness, fear, love and loneliness. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions; they inspire our needs; they affect our bodies and impact on our relationships. Many of the problems in modern society are due, at least in part, to people being unable to understand and appropriately express emotion. Emotional Literacy is a preventive tool, which properly understood, can help solve many social ills -- violence, illness, drug abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and global societal conflicts. On the other hand, people who deal with emotions in a positive way find tremendous benefit. Emotional Literacy can contribute to health, to positive relationships, to success, and to quality of life. A recent poll by USA Today showed that, when asked what they most wanted to change in their children's schools, a full 75% of all parents asked for emotional literacy - though not by name. Parents' most frequent request (36%) was the desire for more school counselors - a need alleviated by Emotional Literacy education. The second greatest request (33%) was the desire for emotional diagnosis of our kids before it was 'too late.' The third most prolific desire was to insure our kids are taught not to hate (18%). Emotional Literacy is universally relevant. It can benefit every individual, every organization, and every profession. It has the capacity to transform each person and their relationships. Emotional Literacy is a key to living a full rich life. It is basic to joy and enthusiasm for living and fundamental to you ability to love and be loved. Emotional Literacy is a profound and beautiful language available to everyone. It can be implemented rapidly, safely, and with lasting effect. Learning how to become emotionally literate is one of the best investments that human beings can make for themselves, their children, and the future. To: US Secretary of Education, UNESCO Education Commission Ensure EMOTIONAL LITERACY becomes a core part of every child's education. Sincerely, [Your name] Recent signatures Joshua Freedman CORRALITOS, CA CALIFORNIA 2hSupporters --- PP = 2628 -261 USPS, 45 min, and some forever stamps (they go up next week) , orders start with Melissa Romyn Megan, mostly branches seeds 3'? --- keep calm and carry on. keep calm and ... --- 6ish to bed, set alarm for 9 nope! bandcamp was ON, but slept thru it and... , sound is not working on phone (no alarm, no tunes, but some beeps work, so S/W, not H/W). take to Verizon store to reset software? reboot! --- 1.15 Tuesday, PD 03:56 (slept 9 hours... cool) alarm's been going off, but no sound... power off / on(!) Worked! got tunes back! alarm? Yep! yay! all betta. (I love what that happens... big problem, easy to fix) >> donate GP? or ask Josh again. $3-4k, split. dustin, too? or advertise... I'll pay for parts --- virtually no internet, again maybe reboot (like phone power off worked)? (later, after brochure is done) - please focus --- mcp.txt is larger on the stick than on C: so what's missing? --- 04:08 x finish Brochure NOW!! --- ND Brochure... 7 Steps to Emotional Healing Awareness Appreciation Discovery FEEL IT! Release & Replace Redecide REJOICE! Trauma / Event + Decision (IQ) + Emotion (EQ) = Issue as Adult (some conscious, some unconscious) unconscious becomes conscious by SUAL, to yourself(!) gotta 'get into feelings', first once we are able to access our feelings, we can learn sooo much about ourselves if we just ask ourselves, we can get a cognitive POV but if we 'get into our feelings', and then ask, we get life-changing information(!) Got issues? We gotta feel it to heal it! Choose. Emotionally void People who take ND (and changed!) - Emotionally Shut-down - Emotionally Flat - Emotionally IN PAIN! - Shame-based - Fear-based - Guilt monsters - Control Freaks - CoDependents - Addicts / Recovering Addicts - People in physical pain, who KNOW that it's partly emotional, too! We learn how to think in their schools. We learn how to feel in our school. A little book knowledge (leftBrain, IQ) gives permission for rightBrain EQ to feel/release/let go Weekend of Discovery - Find your love, again - Re-ignite your passion - Release your (biggest) pain and learn HOW to release pain so you can do it yourself, going forward - Enjoy your Joy! how? it's simple... just Feel and Release your sadness, anger and fear (this is NOT rocket science, it's simple, tho' not easy) IQ and EQ Left and Right-brain Educational AND transformational! Add EQ to IQ -- we can think too much, and feel too little Add IQ to EQ -- we can also feel too much, and think too little! Add Reason to Emotion Add Passion to Intellect Add Right-brain to Left-brain Add Affective to Cognitive ... opens an entire new realm of possibilities --- I REALLY enjoyed the month or so in Aug/Sept when the Giants AND the A's were winning / going to the playoffs and MNF was happenin' then the Giants went all the way! Marin B., chocolate blondes. met some interesting guys, and 1 sexy girl. now, baseball is way over. and there are only 3 NFL games left, in 3 weeks, 2 next Sunday , R-Bers, let's have a SuperBowl party, at Silvers I'm now prepping for; - D-R to be done - to live! - R-B to start back up(!) - feel better about self - to teach - to lead "I'm an effort and attitude kinda guy, because those are 2 things in life we have 100% control over." - ESPN announcer, interviewing Adrian Peterson --- D-R Papyrus paper store (Battery and Pine) >> submit 3 copies of D-R proposal IN PERSON, in print, with DVDs) --- If I sit back in my chair, it's much more 'relaxing', but I become a spectator Up, a player, a doer, a leader --- I keep me company by writing I'm nice to me, I like/enjoy my T's/my intentions/my thot processes/drie/focus/mission(!) --- people are fat 'cause they wanna be fat! it's working for them/(us) we have to Actively Chow to STAY fat, so it's working. people are sick (at least in part) 'cause they wanna be sick. --- D-R Stats(!) Measuring Emotion: Rethinking Mental Health Documentary: Measuring Emotion in mental health will eliminate labeling, enable scrutiny of providers, reduce deaths from pharmaceuticals & will Define Better. http://www.indiegogo.com/measuring-emotion-to-define-better --- 5 Biggest Leadership Lessons From 2012 http://www.inc.com/les-mckeown/leadership-lessons-2012.html Plans mean nothing, but planning is everything. --- I wonder what my fears are: SUAL it's about leading it's about being out there, on TV, or more scary, on the STREET, leading making people uncomfortable enlisting dissention allowing mass criticism get some naddlies it's happening Merk let's talk I haven't listened to your audio, and I may never but I'd like to talk to you for an hour I'll pay you what I was paid by your friends, $60 Michele, Liz and C__ PayPal to PayPal, k? early morning, before 8, or 7+ 7pm-7am (including commute time) I'm available, but that's only half the day --- >> IE - I have a virus on my laptop that underlines some words and makes them links, on regular pages, for ads it's not horrible, but it's still a virus... what others do I have in IE? - Startup e FB - MattPerelstein or EQRocks LI - choose a thread I wrote, and open right to it. --- No Internet prob (when I once again have internet) it found NETGEAR, it connected, says signal strength is Low, sometimes Very Low... but still. Neither IE nor Firefox work/connect worked beautifully when I went to bed last night According to the Wireless Network Connection Status It's Sending packets, but not Receiving 19,335 (up) 5,094 (super slow) 19,449 (114x) 5,099 (5x) Speed: 54.0 Mbps Signal Strength: 2 of 5 bars Duration: 02:04:99 hmmm... so physically, it's working, and connected and it's not particular to a browser so must be windows based issue maybe 'cause of Sleep/wake-up? --- watched/ing Kevin Hart... mostly clean, black dude, LeBron and Shaq were in the audience! pretty funny, and LOTS about feelings. scared, confused, "I was scared. I'm not gonna lie" yay! wallpaper behind in one shot K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K <3 K Otherwise: K E V I N H A R T nice. D-R if 'the boys' were there, that means K <3 is reaching MILLIONS incl. black males (where we need to focus!(!)) --- ND Brochure I'm good with the brochure using wording like maybe probably often possibly not you WILL gaurenteed? in 25 years, we've refunded 4 tuitions --- 06:46 1SC, mobile app send ARs right to your phone? --- good focus this morning... thx! --- , Josh Hi Josh (et. al.) Twitter petition on their site Ayman's plans, and priority --- 07:41 copy ND Brochure and D-R files, wet hair, change to yucky clothes and go... 08:20 ferry cold! --- 12:35 Veterans who have recently returned home are getting the attention of Wal-Mart. http://money.cnn.com/2013/01/15/news/companies/walmart-veterans/index.html?hpt=hp_t3 Hiring 100,000 vets per Ursula --- Arren / Misty, sweet sugar gliders Lay it on me... I'll figure it out! Hope it goes well. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Heads up - Changes From: Arren Date: Tue, January 15, 2013 8:17 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Sweet Sugar Gliders , Misty Dorman , Misty Dorman Hi Matt, I'm making things more automated on our end so we don't have to go into the PayPal website each time we need to send you a payment. I'm automating the payments so our fulfillment center can just click a button and it will calculate and send you the PayPal payment automatically. You will receive two e-mails from this process. One email from PayPal to let you know that you received a payment and one e-mail with the order details. Below is a sample of an e-mail you would receive. Please review it and let me know if there is anything you would like me to change to make it easier for you to process the order. I'm still in the testing phase, but I might be able to roll out the changes this week or next. Thanks! Arren -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Euc Order#3220 Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2013 10:04:44 -0600 From: mafriends@mafriends.com Arren Asuncion 1 E Tampa Ave second addy line Cherry Hill, NJ 08034 Qty 1 EPCEUC001 Eucalyptus Starter Pack Qty 1 EPCEUC002C Eucalyptus Chew Sticks Size 5 lb Qty 1 EPCEUC006A 1/2 lb Eucalyptus Branches Branch Size Two branches 1foot long by 1/2inch thick Total amount paid via PayPal: $66.94 --- PP = 2686 +2x --- pkp called re: this friday;s escapades , adult store --- 6pm out printed finish brochure tonight... with even LESS wording... ahhhh! 7-8 Marin B. Augustino, again, and his mom, and her friend, from Vallejo. finished red and white checkered notebook(!) they all signed it has excellent LF notes in it(!) 8:47 bandcamp night's just starting Anderson Valley Boont Amber's around (exc. Bobby, 4 yrs C&S) in a can. with cool 6-pack holder. not bad. bottle's better. restarted laptop, but still no internet connection... working, connected, "Low", but solid. nuttin'... bummer. ,e to Josh, Ayman, et. al. ND Brochure, with MUCH less wording, much larger. - don't heat anything during bandcamp could go during break heat my piece of pizza, tho. ND Brochure Is what you're doing getting you what you want, in the long run? --- 9:20 Doc, from ND TeachingsMatt&Doc_audio1.mp3 words have no meanings, only people have meanings. your left-brain is a picture album they're just pictures the right-brain doesn't know the dif. between what's real and what's imagined. like dreams and nightmares. we call 'em flashbacks people how have been molested, or in war, or in an accident a picture, an unpleasant 1. Change the belief / meaning, the logical left-brain 2. Work on the flashbacks, the pictures have some way to change it. that's what the weekend is about. the turtle, only makes progress, when he sticks his neck out. looking at the pictures, the beliefs, the communication skills you cannot NOT be powerful you are absolutely powerful, to change yourself. you are absolutely powerless, to change somebody else. as long as you're you make yourself into a victim how to Empower you, to be the powerful person you can be. give you the oppty to change your whole world what's happening to it, and to you. empowering yourself and others purpose of a man or woman to empower yourself and the people around you empowerment: - I am capable, to do what I need to do to take care of myself - and our job, as a parent, is to teach our kids that THEY are capable some become dependent, like on gangs, on welfare, on husbands, on wives if you become dependent, you become a victims exercises, do things to get energized you're not gonna be sitting there all weekend going 'uh huh' you're going to be empowered to make things happen you're gonna get a chance to be angry? what? isn't Anger a bad thing? no. anger is not a bad thing. No one has ever gone to jail for being angry... it's what you DO with your anger! likes punching someone in the nose you can be as angry as want, and we'll teach you safe ways of being angry. this is not new. "Be Angry and Sin Not"... 2,000 years ago "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." got depression. depression is a chemical imbalance... well, so is Happiness - pkp is dealing with the pictures, and the feelings attached, and around them so we can actually change our behaviours change the pictures allows us to change our behaviours if I'm not getting the results I want to get, there's probably some pictures I can become consciously aware of it. and then we can become competent, and get the results we want in life creating the life we want to live. if you're feeling Grief, pay attention to it. If you're feeling Anger, pay attention to it. they are informational you gotta listen to it. you cannot make a logical decision if you're not aware of what's going on for you, emotionally. - #2 1. Knowing 2. Accepting 3. Express our feelings in productive ways most therapists will help you: a. Know what you feel b. Accept it but few actually do with that's where a lot of therapy grinds to a halt bec. we don't know what to DO with our feelings c. Express bad mental health starts at the bottom. when we were a child, were told what NOT to feel, not HOW to feel, what's ok to feel, and how to Express our feelings productively. the way we express it is not ok with our parents we are given a spanking and sent to our room so then we get confused about what we feel and stuff it all inside, and pretty soon we're not aware of what we're feeling. if I'm not aware, what good does it do me, then? we cannot make Decisions about things we're not Aware of. we must come back to becoming aware this is an opportunity, this weekend, to get your questions answered. I've stuffed my feelings I'm not saying this is going to be an easy time. you'll be given the opportunity to look at some very scary things some things you didn't want to look at. but how can you make decisions about 'em if you don't put them on the table, unless you get them out there. That's what's gonna change your life! we don't change you, you do. we don't change anybody's life, or feelings the only one I can change is myself and being at the workshop this weekend is you're oppty to change YOURSELF. you change, and what's around you will change. --- Men don't like Emotions use another word results, closeness, hassle, anger negative, grumpy, mean results relationships decisions behaviours / actions satisfied angry, pissed, mad, even rage (dammit) --- 9:36 ate a bit rest of quiche, with salad dressing on awesome steak chunks, marinated and grilled water thinking of going to be g'night pkp... --- 1.16 05:18 do internet in bandcamp ( brr) --- LI-EIN 27/37/1Each person you meet is in a specific stage of their life, a stage you may have passed or not yet reached. Judging them by your standards and experience is therefore not only unfair, but could lead to unnecessary anger and frustration. "You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be." - Marianne Williamson "Learn from everyone, for each man/woman is superior to another in some way." - Ian Llewellyn-Nash commented on In your estimation, does a relationship of accountability lead to greater EI? Why? / Why not? "Hi Mike, its an interesting question. My working preference is for the Mayer & Salovey model of EI- an ability based model as opposed to ... "more… "Hi Mike, its an interesting question. My working preference is for the Mayer & Salovey model of EI- an ability based model as opposed to a trait or personality based approach. Both models however do share this notion of being able to understand your own and others emotions. Accountability is a two-way dialogue and to engage in such with either a high or low EI will lead to a range of different outcomes. One may anticipate that having a degree of EI then accountability has the potential to be open transparent, edifying, enabling. Also, in such relationships, the key is not so much a meeting of minds, or whether folk meet eye to eye- its more about a meeting of hearts. Some need to grow n that ability; some need to recognise that aspect of their personality and enhance it. ( I am doing a radio interview on this topic in a few weeks here in the UK). I think that there is a disclaimer in this that needs to be highlighted- in those situations where accountability is based around, e.g. a defined job role, all the EI in the world cannot overlook or discount a lack of technical competence. Hard nosed managers who get the job done, hit the targets, maintain the bottom line are prized; if they are also great at the softer skills ( do't particularly like that label) then they can help the workers through the process, as opposed to hard skills with job processes and hard skills with people. That does not instil loyalty or commitment. Position, does not imbibe any leader with the capability of leading well, of being authentic- it only affords opportunity. If you like a call does not excuse diligence in preparation and skilling, rather a call should act as a springboard for such learning. Ditto with regard to positional power and the use of EI " - Charlene J. commented on Happiness Is a Skill "Yes, Kendra, yes! The notion we have the power to switch on our positive feelings and to diminish our negative ones ranks right up there ... "more… "Yes, Kendra, yes! The notion we have the power to switch on our positive feelings and to diminish our negative ones ranks right up there in a list of skills that help us live well. " - Chad E. commented on Happiness Is a Skill "I recommend watching a youtube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsV_MTnhpfw) whereby Anthony Robbins interviews Alice Herz-Sommer. ... "more… "I recommend watching a youtube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsV_MTnhpfw) whereby Anthony Robbins interviews Alice Herz-Sommer. She's a holocaust survivor and speaks to what drove her and her mothers desire for survival during the holocaust. It's a riveting interview and goes to show how an individual can, with positive thinking dictate to some degree their emotions. I'm currently reading her (Alice Herz-Sommer) book titled 'Garden of Eden in Hell'....I highly recommend it as again, it goes to show even in the darkest moments of ones life, positive thinking/attitude, one can persevere. I hope you're able to watch the video at least, it has had a profound impact on my outlook in my business and personal life - Valentina J. commented on Emotional decision v/s Intelligence decision! which you would take ? "There is information that comes from outside and that the mind need to process. There is intuition inside that either warns or make you ... "more… "There is information that comes from outside and that the mind need to process. There is intuition inside that either warns or make you feel comfortable about information received. Action- reaction process that also awakes personal experience in similar situations. Then, knowledge and logic processes activates. What I am trying to do is to analyse all from many angles /sides and find reasonable conclusion that would satisfy all. When I am not satisfied I do ask , research, gather more information until I find peace with myself both emotionally and intellectually. If I have to bring decision fast I lean on intuition and facts available. --- D-R stats Timeline Photos A recent poll by USA Today showed that, when asked what they most wanted to chan...ge in their children's schools, a full 75% of all parents asked for emotional literacy - though not by name. Parents' most frequent request (36%) was the desire for more school counselors - a need alleviated by Emotional Literacy education. The second greatest request (33%) was the desire for emotional diagnosis of our kids before it was 'too late.' The third most prolific desire was to insure our kids are taught not to hate (18%). - Ayman --- 06:10 answering emails PP = 2712 -57.37 to Gwen --- 06L41 Cheryl Hi. As a therapist, I thought she was pretty good. Paula loved her. She did one thing I thought was unethical and stopped going to her... but she was pretty intuitive, and clear, as a person. Your talk sounds super-cool. Love the subject matter! I bought 3 (used, I'm cheap) copies of "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman for my grandson and 2 other friends... have you read it... Life changer for me! How long is your talk? Do you give it more than once? Great idea about doing an exercise or two, to get folks involved and make it memorable. You'll do great! (get a pic!) Still working on year 3 of your quotes?!? Did Tim Goulart get hold of you... I sent him your contact info... hope you don't mind. ove you, go get 'em! Hi to Stevie boy! - Matt --- 06:55 Hey Sheila, This video was GREAT! thanks. Super cute cubbies, and Rick was very cool! I told Paula about it, too. Hope you guys are well. I forgot to do Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you both, so there it is!! Paula will be coming to Seattle (Gig Harbor) on Jan. 25 for a week to help care for her sister's hub, who just had MAJOR surgery to remove his esophogus (cancer) and 80% of his stomach (I need to lose about 80% of MY stomach, too, but not like that!). You guys should hook up! love always. - Matt MICHAEL N. BROWN, MD 13739 Stone Avenue North Seattle, WA 98133 OFC#: 973.900.3696 FAX#: 206.257.4994 --- 07:05 Hey... thanks for the note. I LOVED seeing you and the boys... I wish we didn't live so far away, as I'm missing them growing up, and hanging/learning from you and Merk (she's goin; for it... very cool!). Give the boys a nuggie for me, please. Where/when's E going to do those firewoks? Enjoy! You guys will do well, as you've both got that Persistence thing going on... most helpful. FYI, your email address on your Linked In acct is for remax. Met a freshman going to NAU the other day, told him you were The Man re: housing, and he was most impressed! Later tater. Let's stay in touch better. (sorry about the timing on the pics... I was gonna post them here...from my place in San Rafael, and thot I'd copied them to my travelling drive, but I didn't... so I will DEFINITELY get them up this weekend.) Luv u, - da bro On 01/07/13 3:40 PM, Scott Perelstein wrote: -------------------- It was great. I'm so grateful that you guys made the trip. It was super fun catching up, though I agree, it went fast. Ethan, of course, loved hanging out with the high schoolers and they were fantastic to include him. I'm bummed I was fighting something the whole time. My fever came and went throughout last week too. Today is the first one that I feel good. I can think of a dozen things that I wanted to talk about and didn't seem to find a time. Oh well, maybe at Jase's wedding? Thanks again for the help with Ethan's ski ticket. Merk's on the verge of greatness 3 different ways, none of which provide any cashflow today...we appreciate the help. Excited to see the pics. Thank Sarah for us for making that work. PS, today is the first time I've checked out Linkedin in 4 years. I wasn't screening you, by any means, I forgot that I had signed up when at the real estate office. Funny. On 01/07/13 3:21 PM, Matt Perelstein wrote: -------------------- Hey! Thanks for connecting with me... I'm honored. It was super-great seeing you and the fam over New Years! I loved spending time with you... sorry it went by so darned fast. I'll post the pics that Eric took in the next few days... there are some great ones! Thanks again for the hospitality. You have a wonderful family! - Matt --- 07:16 Hi Josh (et. al.) Ayman and I spoke yesterday and he has big plans for updating/improving the site! He didn't like the fact that our current tool requires double-opt-in, so he's looking to do it differently. FYI, we have 67 completed petitions so far, but he's getting ready to send out a mailing to 50K folks, when the site is improved. Marshall is working on a Facebook page. Do you guys think we need a Twitter account, too? Ayman's now saying that "Emotional Literacy is the antedote to violence, killing, etc.", and I love the "antedote" concept ('cause it's true, IMHO!). We liked your petition on Change.org, Josh! Yes, it would be better if it was on 'our' site, but hey, we could have multiple petitions and just combine the emails later. Thanks to all. Your thoughts are welcome. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: campaigns From: Joshua Freedman Date: Mon, January 14, 2013 2:02 pm To: Ayman Sawaf Cc: Shoaib Haider , yassin shaar , bg@wholelife.com, matt@2gethelp.com Hi Ay - I agree, right now it looks like we've slapped a petition widget into a site that's not really clearly designed... instead of having a site that's really FOCUSED on the petition. The petition should be 90% of the focus on feel.org, with some backup info.... I like Nick's advice. I think www.change.org does a nice job w/ their petitions - I made one for us: http://tinyurl.com/emotionliteracy -- and they make it easy to include others. Why don't we use that or another site for our petition hosting, and then make feel.org basically a "background" to point people to sign? The one prob I see w/ change.org is I'm not sure if/how we can include their petition in our site. =:-) - J --- 07:59 out (late) made it, including ice on windows and shaving (110) along the way! --- ------------ mcp ----------- Knowledge is learning something each day. Wisdom is letting go of something each day. --- 1. Infant-Toddler-Child: Age 0-7 "Something's wrong. The world is not safe." 2. Adolescent: Age 8-17 "I don't fit in. I don't belong." 3. Young Adult: Age 18-30 "I am alone in the world." --- Hey Paul. Yes, I sent an gmail/email to all saying I wouldn't be there... sorry... had a meeting I couldn't get out of. Sorry I missed it. To enter the date and time in a Google spreadsheet, just put =Now() in the field formula. Also, CK asked if I wanted to be House Mgr again for the February showings, and I said Yes, definitely... all 3 showings. Let me know if that works for you. How'd it go with Melissa? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Missed you From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Wed, January 16, 2013 1:14 pm To: "Matt Perelstein" Hi Matt, We missed you last night. Or did I miss you saying you wouldn’t make the meeting in one of your emails? We kept expecting you to sign on. You missed a really upbeat exciting proposal and discussion about the tent. Matt, can you tell me how to add a date to a Google Doc? I don’t want to play around too much with those for fear of messing up. Our docs need latest revision date right on top because there are so many different printed copies floating around and no one ever worries about the latest version until too late. Help? PK --- , Good V. 1620 Polk St about 15 blocks Sutter to Polk, right Pleasures of the Heart <-- 1310 4th St. SR, open 'til 8 Mon-Sat 10 am - 8 pm 855 Valencia and Mission --- MFF Melissa Howden --- 5:33 out 5:55 ferry Celebrity Cruises gave free champagne, choc-covered strawberries, goodie bags and even free massages shopping for a V and some oil 7-8:30 ND support call Splat, Ricci and Debbie... very nice! laughed, a lot, dug into childhood, read Lousie Hay, and even verses of scripture! excellent 9:00 Subway, down by the house... super nice lady, wonderful Club SR internet's working! yeehaa. feels like freedom, to me. 09:21 Frazier, Season 3 --- Forest Sydney Fry Rutherdale is one of the best friends I've ever had! Robin Skrypek is one of the best friends I've ever had! Cheryl Mongomery-Nolan is one of the best friends I've ever had! actually, I believe, Michelle Soplata is one of the best friends I've ever had! so there. there's more, but those were cool to write. Mike and Sheila AJ Steve Sharon and Karen --- When I let go of who I am , I become who I may be. --- Intelligence vs Wisdom What is more important to you? Intelligence is the capacity to do and to know more. Wisdom is the ability to analyze and figure out what is best. One can certainly be smart, but not wise enough to do what’s best. One can be wise, but not intelligent enough to follow through with what is needed. If you could be great at one, which would you choose to be? I just read this today... Knowledge is learning something each day. Wisdom is letting go of something each day. To answer your question, Catherine, I'd take wisdom... you can hire intelligence... at least IQ-type intelligence. --- 10:13 Everyone is better at some things than others. What is an example of something that isn't one of your strengths? What have you done in your professional life to accommodate for this? I'm not actually all that strong in the left-brain smarts department -- good EQ, not so great IQ. That's been tough because I've been a computer consultant and database programmer for a long time, so I work in the easiest language I could find (visual basic, ms access, sql server). When I need some serious work done, I've been able to hire people much smarter than I. My strengths are more EQ-based, like wisdom, clarity and persistance, and when I'm teaching, it's a different story because I feel so very strong... They say "A wise man knows his limitations.", right? Good question, Kishor... what brought this up for you? --- 10:17 Yay, it'll be great to see you, dude! Happy New Year, btw! Feb. 8-10, same room (we had to push it back from Superbowl weekend). Yes, paying thru the site would be great. You can get the CIS and Agreement there, too. Hope you're ok. Wanna say more about where you're at, and what you might need See you soon. Hugs. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: ND February 2013 From: Cary Parkins Date: Wed, January 16, 2013 9:53 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hey Matt! I’ve decided to attend the Feb course as a student. What are the dates? Should I pay through the newdirectionsworkshop.com site? Thanks and I look forward to seeing you. --- PP = 2616 -72 Pleasures of the Heart -9 24hr -57 Gwen -8 GoDaddy +3 orders yesterday +1 today PP-PKP = 637 PP-2GH = 357 --- 10:26 Today 4:33pmExpand Show ImagesTom N. Turrell I am so good good-not married to De bra anymore-Dvorce was finall 3 months ago --2 year ordeal--kids are both in college--kiss Paula for me! ...Today 10:26pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Hey -- Glad you're good! Sorry you guys split... you made it a looong time. Didn't realize you had grown kids... congrats! Still wondering what the heck you're doing in Ghana (tho it's none of my biz). We lived in Ethiopia when I was a kid. I'll pass it on to Paula when I see her Friday. --- mcp testimonial Susan Stillman Thanks, Ayman and Matt for your comments and sharing the petition. How great! In our work in education, we are continually making this connection between social emotional learning and safe, inclusive and nurturing schools, and I am encouraged that people are beginning to understand its importance and act on it. --- Euc testimonial Amanda Holly McCaulla I was just asking a question in the email I didn't expect getting another box separate than what I paid for thank you so much for the big limbs the girls won't get it till they wake up Christmas morning to a cage full of leaves and limbs they absolute love this stuff and so do I keep up the great work :) thank you again maybe next time ill see about getting some seeds from you :p --- ND Cary Parkins Debbie Benavidez, 10/19 in, 10/24 out --- 1.17 04:20 up, 100x crunches handle trash and recycle for entire downstairs, with new bags and all. 05:25 FB-EP Paul Collier Hey there matt I just found out about you and the awesome benefits and please my sugar gliders could get from eucalyptus thanks to suggargliders.com's forum. I sent you an email 3 days ago or so inquiring if their was any other way I could go about purchasing eucalyptus from you without using pay pal. I have been scammed and screwed over with pay pal so much I dont plan on ever using it again. Id be willing to pay in any other way you could though, and if it comes down to it and I have to bite the bullet and try pay pal again I will because id love to let my gliders try eucalyptus for the first time. Please get back to me as soon as possible :) Thanks, Paul, NeilPat, and Rickharris. .. 4 minutes agoEucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! Hey Paul. Yes, I replied to your email, letting you know there are lots of ways to pay other than PayPal. You could send a check or money order... or call or write with a credit card number... or offer something in trade... however. Make me an offer! --- brochure, please almost... --- internet found new unsecured wireless dd-wrt. connection "very good"(!) hope it continues. --- 06:12 How to Make Essential Oils http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Essential-Oils --- 06:30 new subscriber, Pam Sheets (as in 'holy sheets, man') from Fort Collins! And Yay for Fort Collins! I went to CSU, and so did my dad, twice, so I lived there for 7 years, total... love it... go Rams! --- Hey. sounds like fun. Plans changed 'cause Jase's plans changed... and we're kinda basing our plans on yours... so do you know which 2 weeks in June? We'll have to spread the word. Exciting times with the wedding! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Our AZ visit From: "Abbie Mayersky" Date: Thu, January 17, 2013 6:35 am To: , "wendy" Hey Matt & Wendz, Over the weekend we changed around our trip itinerary. We’re going south and into AZ in June, for a few weeks. Then to Colo. and home in time for the pre-wedding hoopla. While in Colo, we’re on a moto trip with friends from MI from 12 July – 20 July. Abb --- Understanding People Succeed! Leadership is an Art --- 07:52 (no brochure work... darn... keep editing it.) Lourie Brown I stood in front of him the other night to stop him from walking out the door when he was so upset and not rational. Thank god he opens up to me and we are close. But sometimes being a Mom isn't enough. And he just looked at me with those piercing blue eyes & said "Mom...I don't want to be here anymore". Which meant he wants to leave this life. The emotional pain, shame and feelings of self worth are pretty severe for him. I don't believe he would attempt suicide, but we closed ranks & I put him on a 72 hour watch anyways & have been up with him nearly all night for two days. It broke my heart to see his pain, & I understand that the statement he made was expressing feelings more than intent but I take those kind of statements very seriously. Megan & I have been there for him, but he is making some life choices with some serious consequences. A lot of drinking etc. The final straw was him cheating on his girl friend. He got drunk, it happened. I sat up all night last night with he & Nikki and they both agreed to come do a weekend. Brett quit drinking because of this. He isn't an alcoholic, what I mean is that Brett is pretty strong and able to make decisions like that & do it with out a lot of struggle. He never was the one to party alot, never did any of that in high school...but I told him if Alcohol is affecting your relationships, school, employment etc. It is time to put it down because the parties over. Matt that is so far out there and out of character for Brett it really scared me. I have been worried about him and Megan and I both have been talking to him a lot about going back to school etc. He had made the commitment to start city college in the Spring. Then because of an employment opportunity he postponed starting school until the following semester. Then the job fell through now But he is sabataging his life, and his relationship. Nikki is the most wonderful, sweet spirit and she loves him so much. When the 3 of us talked last night they both agreed to come to ND in Feb. I would like to be there, but I know that my sister loves my son very very much. And I won't ask her to step back in Feb because it isn't fair. I also trust that Christine will support him, love him and help him through the weekend. If in the event she decides not to come, then please notify me so Megan & I can assist. I would like to speak to you & Paula before Nikki comes through (with her permission of course). It will be important to understand her back ground, she has social anxiety disorder...she has been through SO MUCH ABUSE...how she has retained her soft, loving and pure heart is beyond me. Her mother is Schitzophrenic, and has a lot of problems. Please let me know how much the tuition is, I told Nikki I would pay for her because otherwise she wouldn't have any way to do this. Lets talk soon and you & Paula can tell me what you need. My cell is (559) 776-1834 & my office is (559) 322-0514 ext 154. Thank you for everything you and Paula have given to my family for so many many years. We love you both very much and are very grateful for the work you do. Lourie - Hi. wow. I hear you about Brett and all. Yes, as far as I know, Christine is planning to be there, so that's very cool of you and Megs to let her. And, as long as her and Brett are good, then it sounds like it'll be ok. I remember liking Brett very much, so I'm sure we can help him... esp. with the cool support system he has in you and the fam! How about if you just pay for Nikki, and we'll let Brett go with? does that help? you can use the site, if using a credit card. Paula's actually going to Seattle in a few weeks, to help care for her sister's hub, who just had MAJOR surgery for cancer in his esophogus and stomach... yikes. I think Christine's picking her up at the airport. Keep him going for a few weeks, and maybe even help him see where some of this started. "When, as a kid, did you feel this same way?" maybe... BTW, IMHO, you're one of the best moms on the planet. When I think of how a parent can emotionally Be There for her kids, in the most loving, and powerful, and respectful, yet playful, and real, and genuine way, I picture you, and your relationship with Meg-orilla, and I'm sure Brett, too. To me, you and your fam are one of our greatest success stories. EVEN THO both kids are hurting, they KNOW what to do about it, and they have a place they can, and do, reach out to to heal, to get thru it, to change their negatives into positives. ha. You rock, we rock, and EQRocks! Talk soon. Luv ya! - Matt --- LI-EIN Intelligence vs Wisdom Does this work? IQ = Knowledge EQ = Wisdom Knowledge implies left-brain facts and information. Wisdom implies BOTH left-and-right brain understanding, perspective and grace. What do you think? --- 07:58 out... 08:20 ferry ran entire PL (parked in longest row, rather than last/highest row) good work on brochure during and using PR's Sharpie pen... which I love! --- IMS --- Colleen Yo! CONGRATS! I'll do it this weekend. And I used to work for Sac County, twice... a while back. Don't know if that would help. Welfare Fraud and Animal Control If I don't remember the doc, bug me, k? later, and again CONGRATS! - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: It's Colleen from MetaVista From: Colleen Abrams Date: Wed, January 16, 2013 7:54 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, Well, I am officially back at MetaVista. Funny how things happen sometimes. We have a really good new president, and I think things are going to go well for the company. Hope things are going well for you. Are you still at the same job as you were in September? I've been tasked with getting MetaVista signed up with Sacramento County to provide IT services. Hoping you won't mind helping me out a bit. I need to show resumes of people that have worked with MetaVista in the past 2 years in several categories. You are perfect for the DBA category. This is just to qualify the company, and not a bid for an actual contract - though I have mentioned your awesomeness to the new folks. So, what I am asking is if you would mind updating the attached resume to include your MetaVista FI$Cal experience, and you may as well put your current work on it too, so we have it in our database. I am assuming that nobody at FI$Cal would be a reference for you, right? I don't need to have references for everyone, just thought maybe...? Hoping I can ask for this back by the weekend. OK? I will owe you for sure!! Let me know. Much appreciated! Colleen Abrams MetaVista Consulting Group (916) 880-8627 --- LBL Hi. So does the now work the way you want it? I'd like to hear when my things work, as well as when they don't. I'll get on the others this weekend, k? Hope it's going well! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Analysts Reports menu: tabs need to be updated to reflect FY12 instead of FY11 under the "summarized effort by: option buttons. From: Mary Tydingco Date: Wed, January 16, 2013 8:31 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: "Bill W. Ou" , Gail Mosley Matt, The search buttons on the "Summarized Effort by" options descriptions have not been updated to reflect the "FY12" data criteria. Also, the output reports under " employee for Analyst Alpha by last name" and "super summarized alpha by last name" need to be updated to annotate the current fiscal year period. The current output report is showing FY12 instead of FY13. Can you make the updates on the option buttons and the report headers field on the output report as well in PAD? Let me know. -- Mary Cruz Tydingco Life Sciences Division M/S 977 Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory Tel: 510-486-4522 --- Event http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/news_events/event/mindfulness_and_compassion?utm_source=Event+Newsletter+-+January+2013&utm_campaign=GG+Event+Newsletter+-+January+2013&utm_medium=email Practicing Mindfulness & Compassion March 8, 2013 Craneway Pavilion Conference Center OR Live Webcast Continuing Education *Attendees can receive 6 CE credit hours for attending in-person or online.* Continuing Education for this event co-sponsored by R. Cassidy Seminars. Learning Objectives Attendees will be able to: Understand the relationship between mindfulness and compassion, on a practical and psychological level, including the “pro-social” effects of mindfulness practice; Practice research-tested techniques to cultivate mindfulness, compassion, and self-compassion in everyday life; Summarize key research findings that support the benefits of mindfulness and compassion, including self-compassion; Explain what the most effective mindfulness and compassion programs are, why they work, and with what outcomes; Identify best practices for promoting compassion and mindfulness in others, including students or clients they serve. --- In Excel, if arrows do NOT move the cursor, check Scroll Lock key(!) Paste special, includes Paste as Picture ... and ... we can click and DRAG a selection to another area! hover over the boundary of the area selected and the cursor changes to 4 arrows. most very cool! ... and AutoFill (drag down of small handle in lower right) increments while Ctrl-drag, copies --- >> bring oatmeal and brown sugar to work! --- In EditPad, MouseWheel moves the screen up/down but Shift-MouseWheel moves the cursor up/down Ctrl-MouseWheel moves the screen a page at a time up/down --- okie dokie! I got the item you requested, so I'm looking forward to our time together. See you in the morning! - da hub -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: January Crisis Calendar coverage From: "Paula" Date: Thu, January 17, 2013 11:33 am To: "'Matt Perelstein'" Hi Honey, You are on for the 25th. Thank you…PKP --- -------- mcp --------- Don't look at me in that tone of voice! --- Wendy's new email: wperelstein@gmail.com --- Knowledge (IQ) + Experience = Wisdom (EQ) By John Rudnick --- Zack's new office Blue Cross of CA 50 Beale St. --- 5:40 out 5:55 ferry (no champagne this time... darn) SR e's and LI-EIN 7:30 out Wal*Mart in Cotati PR and Josh over to the house to learn how to sew with PKP snooze somewhere on 101 --- 1.18 01:15 AM/PM Willits snooze somewhere past haflway on 20 (quite a bit) 07:10 home coffee and electronic goodies hang with paula back rub, but that's it 09:35 here --- , IMS LBL --- LI-EIN 11/20 Charlene J. commented on Happiness Is a Skill happiness: what gets in the way? Old patterns of self-doubt, old patterns of negativity, of fear and suspicions. We live with old patterns, neuronal "highways" paved and easily traveled through years of practice. Just so we may choose, we can choose, to release whatever emotion holds those old patterns in place, experience consciously the fear for what it is, fear. Experience and release negativity, self-doubt, rage, within a quiet and safe environment, alone or with another with whom you have stated, I'd like you to witness my rage. Not the person or people who ignite your rage but someone you consider safe! Then let the emotion rip...one wave after another. Emotion always rises in waves. Once you learn how to 'surf' the waves, what you begin to learn is there is a finite amount of rage, negativity, pain, fear, etc. Release them, one by one as life offers you, through a "snag" in the outer world, the opportunity to do so. Then return to the situation which triggered the arising. Notice the differences, and chose now to practice optimism, happiness, the glass is half full attitude. Soon those neuronal "highways" (some neuroscientists suggest 21 days is all it takes but you pay attention to what works for you) Soon those happy highways take up more of your time, energy and thought. Any comments or suggestions or thoughts about all this? --- D-R http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201301180900 Oakland schools have launched programs to help students manage their emotions, establish positive relationships and resolve conflicts. One of the programs, Roots of Empathy, brings infants and their mothers into school to help students recognize emotions and experience empathy. We discuss the social and emotional learning movement, which aims to teach fundamental life skills in schools, and how it's being used in Oakland. --- The Conscious Lifestyle: A Leader Bonds Emotionally http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130118014444-75054000-the-conscious-lifestyle-a-leader-bonds-emotionally --- 09:52 Believe it or not, Matt, if it weren't for your so-called issues, problems, and challenges, there'd be no other way you could become even happier, cooler, and more enlightened than you have ever been before. Tallyho, The Universe --- Intelligence vs Wisdom I think of it like making a meal - maybe I'm just hungry :) Intelligence is having some quality ingredients. Wisdom is knowing what goes together good and how to cook it up! By Emily Drake --- 10:26 Hi Happy, Happy for all these days, and every day! so, the saga continues. Christine wants to review, but of course, NO ONE can be there when she does (except you, Michael, and Brett). Turns out that Brett is not doing well, so he wants to review too, with his girlfriend Nikki. Ok, that's fine (phew)... but then now Lourie is super-pissed because she's being asked not to come to Brett's graduation! Have you spoken to Christine much... apparently you are still "ok" with her. It's a shame, 'cause she's such a victim, it's hard to listen to... and she takes responsibility for NONE of what happened... only her reactions to it. Not good, and if she reviews, I'm gonna tell her... even if she hates me forever more. I think Christine is picking Paula up and the airport and taking her to Gig Harbor... but I don't know the plans thereafter. Thanks for the offer, and I will give Paula your #'s. It IS cold here! yikes. How'z the new office? luv ya. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Please watch, this video will make your day. :) From: "Sheila Brown" Date: Fri, January 18, 2013 10:11 am To: Hello there, Happy Chanukah, Happy Christmas, Happy New Year’s and Happy Martin Luther King Day. Whew!! I hope we are caught up now. J Hope Santa brought you and the family everything your heart desires. J So sorry that we have also been negligent in sending out our best wishes to you both. We think of you often regardless. Please make sure that Paula has our numbers and that she gives us a call when she is in town, we would love to get together. Our address at home is below and we should be in town then. We have a spare bedroom ready to go and she is welcome to come up and stay. Have not been to Gig Harbor as yet but I think it is a little bit of a distance. Chris is even closer to her, I am sure that she would love to see her as well. We are in California right now and I swear it is colder here than in Seattle. Love Seattle, ready to go home. When can you both come up? Let’s make that happen this year. Love you guys, --- 10:30 IMS, MRR Fact Reports --- PP = 2700 --- 10:56 Melinda, "Melinda Janicki" Since we've had no progress in months, and I paid your $400 almost 6 months ago (8/3/2012), I would like to request a refund. I'm sure you're very good at what you do... we just got off on the wrong foot, and we never seemed to become a priority for you. Refund via PayPal, if you would please. Thanks. Sorry. Disappointed. - Matt --- LBL IMS lunch IMS order labels 3pm done! --- When we truly forgive, we set a prisoner free, and then we discover that the prisoner we set free was us! - Lewis Smedes - Family is always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxisous, you are living in the future. If you are peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu --- Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost a child while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford." Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford." Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the "kicker": A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. AND...................: Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse... Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater... --- 4 out of 5 fingers agree that you're a good driver! lol! --- 3:57 done working (I think) having a Coors light Tunes on my phone \DROID BIONIC\Internal storage\Albums 3.95Gb, 1198 files, 108 folders Tunes on my PC \MyMusic 21.7Gb, 7,315 files, 762 folders wow. copied more! thru M's deleted Chicago and Genesis Internal storage 4.26Gb used, 3.73Gb Free = 8 total SD card 6.5 used, 8.2 Free = 14.7Gb --- so, I've been home alone most of the day then Paula's coming home and we're going to have a drink with the boys. then we're taking the MH to MacKerricher for WWW. then I'm alone all weekend! ... except I'll probably get invited to come dinner and party with the girls tomorrow night ... and they're staying 'til Monday, so I may have Sunday ALL DAY! 2 big NFL championship games on Sunday Finish next draft of ND Brochure... and D-R... and new Biz cards? some LBL. --- Paul Collier 1702 E. Phelps Rd Phoenix, AZ 85022 CC by using PayPal on my phone! worked... and VERY fast! send receipt via text or email... nice --- >> ask Josh, girls, for hats? Hey, Sarah, Briana, Josh --- Had a GREAT time with ya'll on our road-trip to Vegas , Hoover Dam and zArizona! My parents and fam loved you guys, too! Let's do it again. hey, did any of you end up skiing with a hat or two that were my mom's -- one was full-face? I don't remember us borrowing them, but we might have. Sydney and Lori are on their way up to FB/MacKerricher for Wild Woman Weekend #11. Yeehaa! --- 5:01 Hi! We can now take credit card orders over the phone... so if you're uncomfortable entering your information online, call me! We can do your order super-fast, super-secure, and even get you a receipt via text or email. Talk to you soon! Matt (916) 599-8597 --- 6: to Silver's with pkp (and doggies) for celebrate with the RBers re: Larry re-opening the gym! Frank, Tom, Rusty, Jack/Brandy/Mac, Ginny/Lin, Kurt/Grace, Walt/girlfriend, Silver VERY Nice! home to wait for girls 9 they called from Willits 9:30 gotta go fill MH with firewood to Chevron to get Propane (used entire tank in AZ!) to Safeway... PKP's not coming... stay with girls... cool!(!) sooooo, I went to MacKerricher with them WWM(!) = Wild Women and Matt (one upside down W) we had a GREAT time BEAUTIFUL night, to ... --- 1.19 00:00 just getting parked to the beach, chilly, but with Zero clouds BIG dipper so fun! 03:30 Lori made it, being up for 24-hours straight 09ish up, COLD, as MH batteries not holding a charge had to run engine for furnace to work hung with girls, laughing, dancing, processing, writing all morning! noonish PKP came brought stroganoff suggested seeing if water in batteries -- 2 took 7 pitchers full!! 2 I left paid for their weekend ($120) dropped off firewood Rossi's for stair sticker thing... nope home ate, napped, here --- 03:33ish Joined new LI group: Share Knowledge & Experience (SKE) - It's Worth Doing http://www.linkedin.com/groups?home=&gid=4331463&trk=anet_ug_hm&goback=%2Emid_I509289368*49_*1%2Egmr_4331463 Members (7,568) 4:20 Pending Submission Are you aware that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is one of the keys to Health, Happiness and Success in Life?! As a society, we learn left-brain intellectual knowledge (IQ) in schools, but we only learn right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) in the school of hard knocks! As a result, many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- are due to our NOT being able to deal with our feelings and emotions. Do you agree that teaching EQ could be the antidote, the catalyst, to change the world from the inside out? --- LI-EIN 14/0 “Emotional intelligence is an array of noncognitive capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures.” By Catherine Puglisi - "In regard to measuring emotional intelligence – I am a great believer that criterion-report (that is, ability testing) is the only adequate method to employ. Intelligence is an ability, and is directly measured only by having people answer questions and evaluating the correctness of those answers." --John D. Mayer By Catherine Puglisi - If you can't explain something simply, you don't know enough about it - Ben Adetimole - ---------------- mcp --------------- Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W.H. Auden (1907 - 1973) - Intelligence vs Wisdom I view wisdom as a superset of intelligence. I see raw intelligence as the foundation, with wisdom representing the savvy and experience to utilize the intelligence to drive positive results. For instance, a salesperson may have the intelligence to know and articulate the value proposition of their offering, but may or may not have the wisdom to be successful at the negotiating table to get a win-win closure to the deal. By Carolyn Hyde - I propose to discuss about intellgence and wisdom relations with Emotional Inteligence (EQ), IQ and SQ (spiritual and social). Typically we should see a small system that is the part of larger system. And we should think how we shall use the system - what results we expect. By Zigmas Bigelis ---------------- mcp --------------- "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." - Tim Ferriss It's never too late - in fiction or in life - to revise. - Nancy Thayer --- 4:42 Uploaded 11 pics to new album New Years 2013 on Yahoo! groups IMG-2676 Status of Liberty_Vegas IMG_2734 Matt_Paula_Josh_Bri_WelcomeToNevada IMB_2868 entire fam 2877 M&D, Matt, Scott, Wenz 2892 M&D and the kids 2900 M-n-P and Sarah_Josh_Bri 2909 Scott and fam 2914 E-man 2922 Wenz 2933 M-n- P 2942 Matt_SarahB 2950 Wenz_Mark 2954 Scott_Merk --- >> Called Shane to confirm Feb. 8 559-908-4766 --- 5:15 LI-EIN This is a fun group, so what are your favorite jokes, EQisms or snarky comments? ... "Don't look at me in that tone of voice!" "4 out of 5 of my fingers think you're a good driver." :) "I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except you." - Rita Mae Brown --- MMF is moving off my db to the cloud with salesforce.com. they might want to help move data over. but then that's it, I guess. --- 3:33, for real! quad order labels, 25x PP = 2921 --- 3:44 LI-EIN Fathi J. commented on A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. - Albert Einstein Teaching & learning emotional & social skills and / or competences may be the golden key to develop and establish a safe educational environment in educational institution in most countries, where the focus is on information acquisition, storage and retention for testing. The violence we see is the result of such systems - This is a fun group, so what are your favorite jokes, EQisms or snarky comments? PLEASE let's keep 'em clean, and clever, and try not to offend anyone! Here we go... This always make me smile when I'm feeling down: Laugh, and the world laughs with you, cry, and you usually have to blow your nose! By Wendy Gold --- D-R NLP! --- WWM, stayed at MacK with the girls! much fun! --- 1.20 Sunday, wow, time goes sooooo fast! 00:00 ... fell asleep up in driver's seat of MH, camping with girls on WWWM weekend 02:30ish up, stiff back turned on engine awhile to warm it up (no water in batteries, no charge, no heat!) drove home 03:?? "Paul" -- good one! good realness, and active caring, loyalty great tug-o-war session with Bella-girl. she is sooo loving, and attentive, and appreciative of rubs and attention. thanks to the universe for putting her in my life. music channel - 80's Hits LI-EIN "Knowing something makes one informed; appreciating its value makes one smart; acting accordingly makes one wise. " 04:15 PP = 2853 --- 04:33 kids should go to the VA hospital to meet some vets, and see, and smell, and feel it. >> Have folks share, to db: List movie Traits they teach well Traits shown dysfunctional lookup/search for the movie, already there? comment no, add 1st comment stars Much of it is done for us, in entertainment and movies we just need to point out the cool EQ traits Braveheart loyalty commitment belief teamwork love passion drive focus let's look at the big picture. why are doing what we're doing take a dull, drab, nothing job, and add a BIG Purpose to it... and PRESTO! it's meaningful, and important, and (potentially) exciting! ------------ mcp ---------- so, what if EVERYONE commits to showing others EQ Teach EQ, please. Show others how it's done. you'd better have the concepts down, first, personally. but you do NOT have to be perfect as a concept to pass it on! at least, be real about it (as real as you know how to be). Yep, what if our MISSION wasn't just to Teach the world EQ... 'cause that sounds like 'we' are doing it to 'them'... but to CONNECT the world USING EQ. Connect with. Teach/show how to connect. Work thru our emotional barriers to connect. Support, guidance, some (lori) call it 'Holding Space' for someone to heal. I like that term, 'cause you're 'allowing' someone to let go, to dive in, to be as real as they can be... and while they're down there, totally vulnerable, you will: - be nice, be supportive, be kind, be non-judgmental - let them lead, and pay attention to their needs, during the time allotted. - keep the room/space 'safe' from intruders, while the other person Lets Go, as best they can (and will). what is the pain that's in your way? - Are you NOT reaching your potential? - Are your relationships kinda shitty? - Are you depressed, hopeless, pessimistic, struggling thru daily existance? - Do you feel Alone, and afraid, a lot? - ... or are you Angry, and feel attacked, where you must Defend? these are all 'issues', stuck inside us, in our unexpressed feelings. GOOD NEWS: It's all solvable! They are 'just' feelings, and when we learn to DEAL WITH them, head-on, eyes wide open, we can LEARN from our feelings, EXPERIENCE them in a much different, more joyful, more accepting, more mature light, and we best of all OUR FEELINGS GIVE US LIFE, and passion, and love, and joy, and peace, and serenity... it's all feeling-based. We're good with our Thots, but not so good with our Feelings, right? They're mushy, and painful, and mysteriious, and random, and sometimes, feel outta my control -- yikes! But that doesn't have to be the case! We can get to Know our feelings, get to know the feeling-side of YOU! There's a whole world inside of you/us that is yet unexplored, undiscovered, and untapped! Your/our true potential lies deep within US, ourselves, our bodies, our minds, and especially, our Heart! - there is a such thing as Perfectly Real. I've told/shown/expressed to you as deeply and truly as I believe/feel/acknowledge that I feel it, and I feel complete, after. no games, no hidden agenda, but with boundaries, and sense and both IQ and EQ understood, activated and solidly in place. We can TEACH EQ + IQ = LOL !! we can Show people how it's done. use songs/lyrics use books/magazines/postcards use movies/video/TV/documentries Paul, can I come see you this afternoon? i won't stay long, just want to say hi and see you again. What if EQ is the Antidote to the craziness? the violence, the insanity of war (how could a person let themselves sign an order to send others to their doom?) (bush did our country wrong.) what if EZ changes everything? what if we really can teach the world from the inside out? Process: start with, Education Individuals Business Entertainment Family eventually, Church Politics Government How are we gonna teach the world EQ? Awareness Education Environment - practice, support, training, models, mentoring Collaboration Information Training Awareness Training Environment We could get very BIG. >> D-R, list some of the huge events happening re: EQ I can envision corporate-sponsorships of specific aspects of the operation. Emotional Support Network - worldwide, 24x7x365 EQ Training Network - 2GH / 2VH on-line, mobile and in-person online 24x7x365 emotional support, peers and pros >> Coordinate EQ Efforts, worldwide compile research, best practices, assessment and experts / trainers FB-NDG Hey gang... I'm still working on the grant application to go world-wide with EQ... and I could use some help with research and numbers. I can make a VERY strong case for EQ -- how it can change the world from the inside out -- but everything I say must be backed up with real numbers, stories and/or results. Sooo, if you come across any online or print articles, research, best practices, assessments and/or experts/trainers, send 'em my way, please! Thanks. - chances are, it's not a 'disorder', a 'condition' or a psychosis or a neurosis... chances are, it's some unresolved Fear, Anger and/or Sadness from your childhood chances are, with a little emotional work on your part (well, maybe a lot, but still...), and some courage, you could COMPLETELY RESOLVE whatever emotional issue(s) you may have! --- ND Grads Debbie and Dennis Taylor --- I'm not a good leader, yet. I'm working on it, and I will be someday, tho. >> major advantage for Informatics... get people to work together Priya and Zack and Shruti and I have been lately Kiran and Lalini have been helping each other. he gives her classes! that's cool. >> lamp here in kitchen, to type by. still the most comfortable spot, tho table might be nice(r) >> Zack, let's build DAE2, together, from scratch Monday afternoon or Tuesday morn, 2-3 hours >> check Office Depot for presentation services at a lunchtime --- post asking for links for any stories, stats or events about EQ or EQ-related or really cool ways to look at life (an EQ skill) --- Beginner / Intermediate / Advanced EQ EQ-101 - basics, AWARENESS, simplest skills, EMFB, language of feelings, "I" messages, CHOICEs, t's/f's/b's/r's, SUAL, Anger-Depression connection, Me/I/Myself it had nothing to do with me... it was about them and their lack of EQ. EQ-102 - skills, listen and re-direct, We/Us/couples/R's EQ-103 - grace, changing the world, spreading the word, processing self and others, groups, being kind even when they're not EQ Skills (which did your parents have/teach/show?) Positive EQ skills, healthy, empowering, loving, Negative EQ skills, tear-down, defensive, attacking, me vs. the world, power & control what seems to be important to EQers are: - Self-Awareness and knowledge, and acceptance - desire to connect with others - empathy, compassion - kindness, a sensitivity, an aversion, to hurting others --- EQ-friendly Ads "Stay thirsty my friend." - Dos Exxuis "Just Do It!" - Nike --- 09:44 Hey Karen, Hi. CONGRATS on your practicum at SA! Do they offer one-on-one counseling, or what do they do there? Hope you learn tons... you're gonna do great. Hey, class IS happenin' Feb. 8... can you make it? Cary's reviewing again, and so is Brett McIntyre... remember him... Lourie Brown's son? Still some drama about Christine, as she wants to review, but with lots of conditions. Any more you know of? It's been a long time, so I'm excited to get back in the courseroom! Talk soon. congrats again. - me --- It is easier to leave angry words unspoken, Than to mend a heart those words have broken. --- "Finding Nemo" snooze on coach, with Bella holding me, and her nose buried against me. paula took an oath at work --- 09:06 New post on miracarroll I Forgive Lance Armstrong by miracarroll I feel sad to see a hero fall. I feel pain and compassion rise above my first reaction of anger when I witness a public figure getting caught in their own deception, and the spectacle of semantic wriggling that usually follows. What surfaces is a web of lies that must have been incredibly painful to keep secret. Heroes have a purpose for us—they inspire, motivate and teach through example. So let’s take our lessons from Lance Armstrong, the famed cyclist stripped of numerous prestigious titles and his athletic and moral reputation. I see three major lesson opportunities: Forgive Everything Let go of “Me First” Let go of “The End is More Important Than the Means” Let’s start with the most important one. This too is forgivable. This deception is forgivable because everything in this world is forgivable. At the end of the day this whacked-out world is a dream. It is not the truth. Forgiveness releases the forgiver from the pain of the illusion. Like the creature from the black lagoon, a monster slithers out of my judgment pool when I witness lies and cheating to get ahead. This is the kind of judgment that seems justified. Haven’t we been taught from the first moments our immature personalities tested the waters of lying and cheating that to do so is WRONG? Doesn’t lying and cheating to win trample the rights of all the honest competitors? Isn’t “underfoot“ the wrong place to put a fellow human being? Wouldn’t our mostly unpoliceable world fall apart if everyone lied and cheated? So why would I want to forgive Lance Armstrong—the man who spit on the accolades showered upon him by being the opposite of the champion he appeared to be—a world-class doper, liar, cheat and bully? There are two good reasons to forgive Lance Armstrong: happiness and healing. Happiness. Practice makes perfect. And if there’s one thing in life I want to perfect, it’s forgiveness. Forgiveness is a correction of perception that offers everything because forgiveness delivers the gifts of God. What could I possibly want more than that? Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Forgiveness offers everything I want. (A Course in Miracles [ACIM] Workbook Lessons 121 & 122) Healing. Forgiveness is the miracle that heals me, and as I heal myself the world is healed. Let my mind be healed, that I may carry healing to the world. . . . Let only truth occupy my mind. . . . When I am healed I am not healed alone. (ACIM Workbook Lesson 137) A miracle inverts perception which was upside down before, and thus it ends the strange distortions that were manifest. Now is perception open to the truth. Now is forgiveness seen as justified. Forgiveness is the home of miracles. The eyes of Christ deliver them to all they look upon in mercy and in love. Perception stands corrected in His sight, and what was meant to curse has come to bless. Each lily of forgiveness offers all the world the silent miracle of love. And each is laid before the Word of God, upon the universal altar to Creator and creation in the light of perfect purity and endless joy. (ACIM Workbook, Section 13. “What is a Miracle?”) I would have to be out of my mind not to want the silent miracle of love. And frequently we are. But we can change that in an instant with our choice FOR forgiveness. My Father gives all power unto me. The Son of God is limitless. There are no limits on his strength, his peace, his joy. . . I am he to whom all this is given. . . in whom the power of my Father's Will abides. (ACIM Workbook Lesson 320) Now let’s look at the other two lessons, lessons of letting go of a competitive way of being in the world: “Me First” – my individual goals take precedence over others, and, “The End is More Important Than the Means.” “Me First” jumps out as the major spiritual error that Lance Armstrong must have believed to justify his personal doping program and that of his team in the last 15-or-so years. Looking deeper for the beliefs underlying and driving the “me first” philosophy we can see: My individual goals take precedence over others. I must prove myself valuable. I must fight to win. The end result is more important than the means. When put in stark black and white this is a motivational philosophy many of us would deny in ourselves. But the fact is the exposure of this belief system (courtesy this time of Lance Armstrong) is a major spiritual lesson for all of us. Healing this erroneous orientation involves healing our guilt, our low self-esteem, our attachments, our belief in non-spiritual solutions and our sense of separation from Source, from All That Is. All I have to do is recall my typical mental and emotional reactions when I, driving alone (read unobserved), get stuck behind a slow-poke driver on my way to—well, anywhere—to understand that this and precisely this need for healing also applies liberally to me. What comes up? The discomfort and unease inherent in the “me first” philosophy of individual competition: I need to get where I’m going on time. (My individual goals take precedence over others.) What I’m doing is important. (I must prove myself valuable.) If I’m feeling afraid or angry (which includes frustrated, impatient or annoyed) this underlying attitude applies: (I must fight to win.) I REALLY need to get where I’m going, so my perception is justified. (The end result is more important than the means. AKA, the destination is more important than the journey.) Our worldly lives are built on the foundation of who we believe we are. What does A Course in Miracles offer to counteract the misguided philosophy of individual competition that robs us of peace? Only illusory goals are “individual,” since our true identity is in the Oneness of God’s Creation. When I value “my” goals over “yours,” I reinforce the belief in separation. As innocent Children of God we are all inherently valuable beyond and outside of anything having to do with the world of illusion, in which we seem to be bodies living in time and space. We win when we remember Oneness. Fighting reinforces our belief in separation. Worldly “results” are not the “ends” we believe them to be. They do not satisfy our longing and thus our need to search continues. The “means” and the “journey” are the important aspects of our worldly lives because it is through the means and the journey that we express the love that we are. Seek not outside yourself. The search implies you are not whole within and fear to look upon your devastation and prefer to seek outside yourself for what you are. (ACIM Text, Chapter 29) How do I claim my lessons from Lance Armstrong’s experience? I can ask myself some questions: What have I not yet forgiven? What attachments can I let go of to create a more peaceful life? What changes can I make to value the means more than the ends? As we assess ourselves (and hear the news of the world), remember that it’s ALL forgivable. Errors call for correction, not punishment. As we do the work of healing ourselves, we can be thankful that we are in a teachable place, an introspective place, that holy place where errors are laid to rest. Let me be still and listen to the truth. Truth will correct all errors in my mind. And I will rest in Him Who is my Self. (ACIM Workbook Lessons 106 & 107) With Peace and Love, Mira Carroll www.alohaservices.org www.healingloss.biz Purchase paperback www.smashwords.com/books/view/108990 Sample or purchase Healing Loss eBook Healing Loss Review http://miracarroll.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/healing-loss-choose-love-now-book-review-3/ --- 10:00 Yay! Thanks for the order... just so I'm clear, I thot last time I sent you just leaves, with their flexible connecting material holding them together... is that what you meant? I don't think I sent you any 'branches', hard, straight sticks, with bark on ... did I? thanks. just trying to get it right.. you've been a Star customer lately... and I appreciate that! oh, and the US Post Office is closed tomorrow, so they'll go out Tuesday. - Matt --- Lauren Gould Yay, and yes, and yes, Lauren! I'll send you a few dried leaves as well, so you can try the vacuum trick! What did you do for Martha? Were you there when it all came tumbling down? The US Post Office is closed tomorrow, so shipments are going out Tuesday. I'm supposed to wait until the check clears, but I'm gonna send yours on faith! Thanks again for the order. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LI-EIN (always new submissions!) E.A. Baker commented on Everyone is different, we all have our own way of communicating with each other. Why do most people find it a problem to be nice? Or is... "A smile and the science behind it are not as complex as one may think. Like everyone else on the planet, I would rather be greeted with a smile from someone than not; a smile is an indicator of our internal happiness, and measuring happiness can be subjective. It’s up to us to ensure our own internal happiness, and it is something that can only be measured at a point in time- or, good days and bad days. It requires work to ensure everyday is a good day and it starts with the decision you make that each day will be filled with happiness. So the next time you come across someone who doesn’t return a smile, simply say, “It looks like you needed one but left yours at home today, so I thought I would loan you one of mine.” Here is an interesting article from the Harvard Business Review on a smile and happiness: http://hbr.org/2012/01/the-science-behind-the-smile/ar/1 " - Each man kills the thing he loves Each Man Kills the Thing He Loves – Lyrics All the song lyrics for Gavin Friday & Maurice Seezer‘s album ‘Each Man Kills The Thing He Loves‘. Do you believe this to be true? Each man kills the thing he loves, by each let this be heard. Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword. Some kill their love when they are young, some when they are old. Some strangle with the hands of lust, some with the hands of gold. The kindest use a knife because, the dead so soon grow cold. Some love too little, some too long, some buy and other sell. Some do the deed with so many tears, and some without a sigh. For each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man does not die. --- 10:22 pulling D-R notes from main ~mcp.txt file, and collecting to: ~mcp-D-RNotes_20130129.txt been doing it for awhile, and it's going well! collections keep getting better. plus... FB-NDG Hey gang... I'm still working on the grant application to go world-wide with EQ... and I could use some help with research and numbers. I can make a VERY strong case for EQ -- how it can change the world from the inside out -- but everything I say must be backed up with real numbers, stories and/or results. Sooo, if you come across any online or print articles, research, best practices, assessments and/or experts/trainers, send 'em my way, please! Thanks. listening to Symphonic sirius radio. nice. I like soft and sweet. food and people ... back to it... (9ers at noon!) --- The Elements of Good Leadership http://sloanreview.mit.edu/improvisations/2012/07/27/the-elements-of-good-leadership/#%2EUPr84jmLG-8 By Martha E. Mangelsdorf – 7/27/12 Share | Deborah Ancona, director of the MIT Leadership Center at the MIT Sloan School of Management. Image courtesy of MIT Sloan. What does it take to be an effective leader in today’s unpredictable and uncertain business environments? Earlier this month, I attended an MIT Sloan executive education course called “Transforming Your Leadership Strategy,” taught by MIT Sloan professor Deborah Ancona. While a good deal of the learning in the course took place through interactive exercises, Ancona conveyed many important points about effective leadership through her presentations. Here are a few of those points: •Leadership is personal. There is no magic formula for successful leadership, Ancona explained — and no one-size-fits-all best practices, either. Instead, each leader needs to answer the question: “What is the best way for me to lead?” Each person needs to figure out his or her own unique leadership signature — one that draws on his or her own strengths. While charismatic leaders are particularly memorable, there are many other ways to be an effective leader, Ancona pointed out. •That said, leadership involves four overarching capabilities. Ancona teaches a leadership framework developed at MIT that involves four key capabilities: sensemaking (in other words, making sense of the business environment in which your company operates); visioning; relating to others; and inventing new ways to get things done. In a 2007 Harvard Business Review article called “In Praise of the Incomplete Leader,” Ancona and colleagues Thomas Malone, Wanda Orlikowski and Peter Senge wrote that leaders often excel in one or two of the four capabilities — but no leader is equally strong in all four areas. As a result, leaders should search for others who can complement them. •Today’s leaders need the ability to make sense of complex environments. Sensemaking — the ability to make sense of what’s going on in a changing and complex environment — is a particularly important predictor of leadership effectiveness right now, Ancona explained. Sensemaking in business (a term drawn from the works of Karl Weick) requires executives to let go of their old mental models and some of their core assumptions; to take in data from a wide variety of sources; to use the information they have to construct, with others, a “map” of what they think is going on; and to verify and update the map — in part by conducting small experiments that provide the organization with more information. •Leadership is not a solo act. It is no longer possible for companies to thrive with great leadership only at the top, Ancona said. Instead, companies need what she calls distributed leadership — with people at a variety of levels in the organization exercising the four key leadership capabilities skillfully. --- >> at end of today, send D-R notes to Nykia and Shane --- Maria G. I am going to Harborview Medical center in Seattle on Feb 5. Will know more then. --- 3-4 Euc order labels (26x) Euc hunting with doggies, down by the road 5-midnight WWWM some processing re: mom --- 00:05 Watching Ravens vs. Patriots, championship --- "We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel." - Marshall B. Rosenberg --- 06:00 Christine posting D-R stuff So how does EI relate to sustainable change? Researcher Antonio Demasio determined that human beings cannot make cognitive decisions without also processing emotional information (how we feel about the situation.) Our ability to remodel, update and even upgrade our identities, to resolve problems and conflicts, and consequently our ability to move ourselves and others from “no” to “yes” is dependent on how skillfully we process our emotions. - "Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment." - Lao Tzu You can only be a victim of your attitude. - Richard Rudd "If you want to be a great leader; inspire don't conspire." I am convinced that love is the most durable power in the world. It is not an expression of impractical idealism, but of practical realism. Far from being the pious injunction of a Utopian dreamer, love is an absolute necessity for the survival of our civilization. To return hate for hate does nothing but intensify the existence of evil in the universe. Someone must have sense enough and religion enough to cut off the chain of hate and evil, and this can only be done through love. - Martin Luther King, Jr., 1957 Charlene Jones M.Ed/M.A commented on Happiness Is a Skill "New research from Neuroscience according to the site ASAP shows that happiness does not correlate with endless money. What happiness ... "more… "New research from Neuroscience according to the site ASAP shows that happiness does not correlate with endless money. What happiness does correlate with is exercising the prefrontal cortex, which happens when we meditate. This is the area where we develop the ability to focus gently and continuously on whatever we are doing, saying, being in at the moment. That ability to hold attention, to concentrate easily on what is arising in our lives at each moment correlates to increased and increasing levels of happiness. What are your thoughts about this? Does it mean happiness as an object is not what we're after, but the state of happiness? Does it mean if we are unhappy it is our own fault? - The Science Behind the Smile An Interview with Daniel Gilbert by Gardiner Morse http://hbr.org/2012/01/the-science-behind-the-smile/ar/1 - About EQ What everyone needs to know. Emotional Intelligence Is the Other Kind of Smart. http://www.talentsmart.com/about/emotional-intelligence.php - How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Resolve Conflicts and Build Tough, Kind Leaders http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=2991 --- shower PP = 3026(!) orders 'til 9:20 09:30 e's and go! no PO, so that'll help, but latest I've gone yet. 1:45 missed 12:40 ferry since it's MLK, Jr's B-day holiday, no one was there! maybe 20x on the biggest, and slowest, ferry they have (Sonoma) subway foot-long 3pm IMS --- ---------------- mcp ----------- "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." - Robert Louis Stevenson What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing. - Aristotle (384 - 322 BC) ---------------- mcp ----------- "A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether". - Roy H. Williams ---------------- mcp ----------- "A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half". - Jeff Cooper "Knowledge is knowing the tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting in your fruit salad." - Miles Kington - LI-EIN Sami Ullah No one can insult or hurt you No one can insult or hurt you without your permission. One of the golden keys to happiness and great success is the way you interpret events which unfold before you. Highly successful people are master interpreters. People who have attained greatness have an ability which ... more… No one can insult or hurt you without your permission. One of the golden keys to happiness and great success is the way you interpret events which unfold before you. Highly successful people are master interpreters. People who have attained greatness have an ability which they have developed to interpret negative or disempowering events as positive challenges which will assist them in growing and moving even farther up the ladder of success. There are no negative experiences only experiences which aid in your development and toughen your character so that you may soar to new heights. There are no failures, only lessons. --- 6:31 wendy wperelstein@gmail.com Hey! We're gonna try to make it out to MI, too... should be fun! Did you get a notification re: the pics posted on our Yahoo! group? What class/cert are you working on now... still Java? rock on! - da bro --- 7pm out --- 9:44 arguing with pkp re: closeness painful, dramatic, fatalistic 2 calls so far, she hung up on the 2nd, with a FU. so, this is gonna get worse before it gets better. she's building up to a good blowup and it's my fault, all my fault. here we go. i give up, leave it doesn't work. you can criticize no one can do it right enough for you it should work matt can hear a negative in anything people try and try and then they say FU and now you're yelling at me again. I made you yell at me. it's me. all me no responsibility, from her side. none. only what she did right/well/wonderfully. money isn't it but that's not why I'm there. 10:06 the switch is in me, not her gnight much mo' betta I called her (call #4)... and it worked "I called to give you some compassion" "We'll get this" --- D-RNotes! working with the what's happening section. very powerful! 11ish to bed --- 1.22 04:30ish up, 100x a bit of frazier 05:19 LI-EIN 4/6 Veldeman Tim Mourning with Emotional Intelligence In one of my favorite LinkedIn groups - “Work and Spirituality” - a subject was mentioned as “Self Care for the Soul” (SCS)?! Given the passing away from my grandfather-in-law last Wednesday, this matter for me is hot off the press. My spouse’s family is very close ... more… In one of my favorite LinkedIn groups - “Work and Spirituality” - a subject was mentioned as “Self Care for the Soul” (SCS)?! Given the passing away from my grandfather-in-law last Wednesday, this matter for me is hot off the press. My spouse’s family is very close together. It is nice to see and experience. Only in some cases the "applied" spirituality (i.e. Emotional Intelligence?!) is missing, making them feel not knowing what to do with him- or herself and his/her emotions. The danger is that one gets lost in his/her grief, so his/her soul (and that of the deceased ... that is in danger of not finding an anchor point?!) is going to suffer. As "person of confidence" (in the workplace), I am convinced that “applied spirituality” is no luxury at all, but a true necessity to overcome hardship. My departed grandfather-in-law - in his last days - always asked my wife (who has (had) a very strong bond with her grandfather) where I was?! I now interpret this as a kind of “call” to me to provide for his soul after his death. Since I myself am intrigued by Buddhist "care of the dying" (provided some Christian checks and balances where ever necessary), this will come in handy for sure. And since family is much more close than a priest, every family should have at least one member interested in spirituality ... for guidance, true happiness, ... => SCS = Self-Care for your own Soul, but also that of the other, if you ask me?! This is what I contributed in the group "Work and Spirituality" anyway (in Dutch language). I hope they (and also you) will like it and/or start discussing on this matter. Because writing (journaling) can help me and my family through this process of grief. In a next message I can write down what my (very personal) contribution was to the farewell celebration of my grandfather-in-law, but only if you wish to read it. Kahlil Gibran: "Grief is just a wall between two gardens" (that of the past, and that of the future) --- 05:35 I too have heard (and experienced) that the fear of LOSING something we have (or perceived to have) is often more motivational than our desire to GAIN something new and different. Partly due to that fear of Change thing that has been discussed here. In basic EQ, we learn to add our Emotional Intelligence to our Intellectual Intelligence -- adding heart to head, EQ to IQ, right-brain to left-brain -- so we can truly understand and manage our actions, and reactions. It's critical that we know why we do what we do... what really motivates us, way down deep... it's one of the basic powers of EQ. EQ-101. Actually, I'm working on listing and separating Beginning, Intermediate and Advanced EQ skills, to create EQ-101, EQ-102 and EQ-103. Wanna join me? --- 05:44 lol... sorry, Henry... I was trying to picture a branch, floating, with the leaves up... and it worked! Anyway, sure, I can give you gobs of bare branch! In fact, many Eucs, if they're in the woods where they get little direct sunlight, end up being a straight, bare 'pole', often 20-30-40' high... then the leaves happen Waaaay at the tippy top. We've cut 100's of 'em to make hand-rails. So, how tall is/are your vase(s)? Thanks for understanding about the timing. Gotta work. toodles. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Notification of payment received From: PRECARIOUS Date: Mon, January 21, 2013 9:47 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Ha-ha! No. I just meant that if you put it in a vase there would be enough "stem", or in this case bare branch, to stick in a container. Sorry. Should have been clearer. Friday or even next week is absolutely fine. No rush. Thanks, Matt! On 1/22/2013 12:42 AM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: Hi Henry, I received your order for fresh Euc Branches for your stick insects -- thanks! I'm outta town working most of this week, so your order should go out on Friday. I'm not sure what you meant about the leaves on only one-side of the branches... like if you held a branch straight up, the leaves would only be to the left side? I can trim one side, if I'm hearing you correctly. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Hi, I'm absolutely passionate about personal development and understanding the people around me; particularly the ones I work with in disaster response. Our interactions with each other in stressful situations is a wonderful test of our emotional intelligence journey. Every person we meet is culturally different and shaped by their own personal experiences. How can we possibly know them? But it's fun trying...and extremely rewarding. By Genevieve Ballarin --- 05:54 FB-Daniel Oppenheim Nelson Jerome Oppenheim, Born on Lincoln's Birthday, 1921, left the Earth this morning, at age 92 (nearly.) Seems Presidential to me. He was my dear friend, and the source of so many gifts, lessons, laughs, pats on the back, kicks in the behind. I ate chocolate ice cream with him in Denver on Saturday. We laughed, sang "Tenderly", "Fly me to the Moon", and "Sunshine." He said my being there was "a delight and honor, and that it made my January an auspicious month." ... Silly bird....it was I who was honored to be with him. Honored to be his son. Rest, dear man, rest. wow... sorry. but very well said... I feel similar toward my dad... and I'd pray that more men, and women, could have someone like that... a 'real' dad... in their lives. how cool that you got to spend that wonderful time with him at the end... nice going (for both of you)! --- some SM, now back to D-R --- 06:07 (sorry, but Ray's post is phenomenol... as often!) LI-EIN - Ray Mathis • Rather than agree or disagree, let me just relate the story of my kids in my "Tool Time" groups at a local high school. Like most schools, their discipline system is largely based on something to the effect of "Do what we tell you or we'll hurt you". I was called in because like every other school, they have a group of kids that they've done everything they can to, and it hasn't worked, and things have just gotten worse in many ways. In fact, I warned the school to not "assign" kids to my group because they would simply take that as one more message that they were "screwups" in some way and they'd fight it. But the school didn't listen to me, and I started with a bunch of very angry, resentful and rebellious kids on my hands. Teachers and other school personnel should be more like doctors, who are well versed in the internal workings of human beings, and diagnosing illness from symptoms a patient presents, and who typically do some diagnosis before prescribing treatment. Unfortunately, they more often than not are not, and simply take a Skinnerian approach to kids who misbehave. And when what they do doesn't work, they do it louder, more often and harder. And more often than not, the kids do more of what they've always done, much of what is designed to protect themselves from real or imagined assaults on their psyche, assaults they've more often than not been experiencing for their entire lifetimes. Things are not always as they seem on the surface with kids. Their heads are not the "black box" that B.F. Skinner suggested. They often have for example what Rudolph Dreikurs called "mistaken" goals that get them some short term satisfaction, but sabotage their chances for success in the long run. Like Attention, Power, Revenge, Avoidance of Failure, and what I call Withdrawal-Avoidance-Relief. Kids also use anger a lot to protect themselves from feeling anxious, depressed, ashamed or guilty, or a deep sense of powerlessness in their lives. In other words, "pain" is not leading to improvement, and inflicting more on them just drives them to keep doing what they always have, which isn't working. ------------- mcp ------------- I have a rule I always lived by, if you think, feel, say and do what others always have with troubled and troublesome kids, you'll get what they've always gotten. Do something different. For example, the first thing I do with them is to let them know that I have UOA or Unconditional Other Acceptance for them, and anything they've thought, felt, said or done to this point in their lives. Then I proceed on the assumption that somewhere in them is a kid that just would like what they see everyone else have, but for reasons often beyond their control, they've gotten off to a rough start and never been able to get that, and a lot of adults in their lives haven't helped much when they got to school, largely because when your only tool is a "hammer" you treat every kid like a nail. I promise to give them real power in their lives, the ability to feel the way they've always wanted to, and to have their lives turn out the way they've always wanted, and to be smarter than most people around them with regard to emotions. And I tell them that is possible, and offer myself as living proof. When I started this current group, I had three come up and offer their hand and say "Thank you" ------------ mcp ----------- There's an old saying, "You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar". Which fits with one from classroom management: "The further into discipline we get, the more positive it should become". Unfortunately, most educators haven't been taught that, and are left to their own devices and fall back on the "do what we tell you or we'll hurt you" they grew up with. But I also warn them that they'll be fighting brain physiology. We all have both good and bad cognitive, emotional and behavioral "ruts". Get off to a good start and you're on automatic pilot in many ways for a good life. Get off to a rough start, and it's a struggle. - Damn @Ray, I love your positive psychology with the kids, your real-ness, and your super-practical experience teaching EQ "in the trenches" with emotionally-challenged teens -- wow!! "If you do what you've always done, you'l get what you've always gotten." - Yep "The further into discipline we get, the more positive it should become." - Excellent! ... and your reference to Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs, who, in my opinion, wrote the clearest, and most powerful concepts in working with children! In fact, the workshops we've been teaching for 25 years now were originally developed by the (ex-)Dreikurs Relationship Center in Boulder, CO. Dreikurs, and Adler, (unlike Freud) found that we DECIDE how to be, as kids, and therefore we can RE-DECIDE most, if not all of it... which gives us POWER & CONTROL over our own feelings, thoughts, and behaviours, and thus our lives! --- 06:30 VACUUMED my room! Tom vacuumed and steam cleaned band camp. so I borrow the vac, very cool, spins 360, sucks! Shannah and Christine Ok, you guys, we get that you're angry... and we're sorry for all the pain you've gone thru. But it's over, you survived (yay!), and now what -- what did you learn about YOU from all you've been thru? We're taking Post-Traumatic STRESS and, using EQ, turning it, consciously, into Post-Traumatic GROWTH. So what's your take-away about you... how are you gonna be a better person because of your pain? --- 6:55 chat with dad on FB. 7 pkp wakeup call --- >> get BIN# for Anthem Rx --- SMILE FOR NO GOOD REASON -Lee Jampolsky "Attitudinal Healing will give .. the happiness you seek without changing the amount in your bank account, spouse, job, status, or religion. The only thing you need to change is that over which you have complete control--your attitude....nothing needs to change in your life ... more… "Attitudinal Healing will give .. the happiness you seek without changing the amount in your bank account, spouse, job, status, or religion. The only thing you need to change is that over which you have complete control--your attitude....nothing needs to change in your life situation or the world in order for you to have peace of mind." - Lee Jampolsky If I'm too strong for some people, that's their problem. - Glenda Jackson --- 07:32 LI-EIN Do you have an EI goal (or resolution) for this year? And if so, what is it? As for me, it's to get better at acknowledging and praising others. People long to be heard and valued, and one way of demonstrating that I hear/understand, value, and appreciate someone is by telling them so. So this is a big goal that I intend to work toward, on a daily basis, this year. I want to become a better leader/father/grandpa... soooo... to work toward that goal, I need to get better at not getting my feelings hurt so easily. Both my wife and daughter have given me this feedback, so I'm working on it. It's true, I am very sensitive, but I could add more power to my feelings, and better separate what words "mean" about me (if anything), applying Doc's "To Me Rule" -- what people say about me means nothing about me, and everything about them! Thanks, Kimberly, good question! How'd I do with my answer -- feel free to practice on me - lol! --- more D-R research seach for .000 here... good stuff! 07:43 go to work BUS!! laid down in back, took 2 naps Paula called, she's gonna come to SR Thursday night, with Bella, stay over, then go to the airport early Friday morn. --- PKP Your trip to San Rafael, then to Charles M. Schulz Sonoma County Airport (STS) It's 39 miles from San Rafeael to Santa Rosa airport, but straight freeway. I'll take you to dinner and then back to my room, for a romantic rendezvous!?! Let's make it fun. --- 360 Burrito for lunch $4.70 for Rice and Beans (vegan), but with their hot salsa, it was yummy one of the better $5 deals around here --- Outlook (2007) on right NAV, ToDo Bar show Date Navigator (Options: 2-3 months), Appointments, Task List (not!) --- PKP Insurance Benefit info - Anthem Blue Cross Medical and Pharmacy Coverage 877-403-4424 Member Services: Member or Provider Line 360-degree health programs Medical: Under My SSN ID Card: DIM771A77805 Med Group No: 270033M10H Customer Service: 800-331-1476 Pharmacy: Anthem "Express Scripts" 866-297-0984 Prescription ID Number: 0000032954 Prescription BIN#: 003858 Prescription Group: AQLA They'll send us 3 insurance cards via mail Let me know if you need anything else. Good luck with it all. - me --- Hi Tricia, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out on Friday (I'm outta town working until then). Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- PP = 3141 Livetime cashback = 426 Paula Perelstein x-7736 | (Replacement requested) Daily spending limit: $3,000.00 | Daily ATM limit: $400.00 --- Trivia question, what's the shorted top level domain name allowed? 1 character a.com 2 characters aa.com <-- answer 3 characters aaa.com --- >>>> some missing here from work >>> --- 6:02 out 6:20 ferry to DT SR Walgreens, 3-$10 Subway certs, toothpicks Orgasimic Pizza Anna-Lisa Stoner, musician, house on hill above George Lucas's place 1/2 price pizza... pretty good... Great Amber Ale! good chat, ex-therapist - 10:43 lost a 2C subscriber Diane Barney --- 11:05 FB-EIN Dexter John Valles So here is what I feel : We set up our neural pathways by the way we live our lives, learned behaviour and assumptions which fund our perceptions and decisions. Our brain styles are representations of our current neural configurations and are not set in concrete but are pretty much in place because we have practiced behaviours arising from these configs. Looking at our brains styles we need to leverage what is working for us and what are the opportunities to change what's not. IN any case it seems that we are not totally ONE brain style and the size and position of our "bubbles" indicate a relative position or a mix of styles where there is a dominant disposition and some back up or influencing positions of our Focus-Decisions-Drive elements. As leaders we have to take a look at our KCG competences and how they play out, keeping in mind our brain style dispositions- recognising patterns, consequential thinking, navigation and noble goals would to my mind be key KCG competences to consider in reflecting on how these brain configs work for us on an everyday and longer term basis. So while a Strategist or Deliverer or Inventor may seem to more "corporate", EQ competences in the Sage, Superhero, Guardian and Visionary can be equally effective - considering the nature of the organisation structure, its business, the market it caters to, the culture of the organisation, and the Vision it has expressed. Each leader or manager needs to look at what he / she needs to do to move from a mal-adapted to more well adapted expression of their brain styles and in the process move the bubbles in the direction of greater usefulness, through conscious neural rewiring and adaptation. I believe the Brain Brief Profiles give us graphic visuals of our neural hardwiring patterns and provide us with options to adapt to or even lead change. --- D-r --- 1.23 00:00 (for real) Many people have not witnessed a loving relationship between their parents, so they don?t know what it looks like. (that's what I was just saying!... I have) --- 00:22 pause... good work! --- 05:07 LI-EIN ------------- mcp -------------- We get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. - David Foster Wallace - Alice Chua Lai Ying commented on Happiness as a Subject of School Curriculum "You can count me in, Olga :) I just started my job working with youth and I do think youth nowadays need to understand what happiness is ... "more… "You can count me in, Olga :) I just started my job working with youth and I do think youth nowadays need to understand what happiness is and what kind of happiness are they craving for :) Though this curriculum, at least they could explore their own happiness though some hands on assignments. - Morag O. commented on Happiness Is a Skill "Happiness is indeed a skill, but learning it is neither difficult nor academic. Take a look at www.actionforhappiness.org. Their GREAT ... "more… "Happiness is indeed a skill, but learning it is neither difficult nor academic. Take a look at www.actionforhappiness.org. Their GREAT DREAM is simple which I'll repeat here: Give - do things for others Relate - connect with people Exercise - take care of your body Appreciate - notice the world around Try out - keep learning new things Direction - have goals to look forward to Resilience - find ways to bounce back Emotion - take a positive approach Acceptance - be comportable with who you are Meaning - be part of something bigger - John Clark III "Four Little Questions" johnclarkiii.com Regardless of the challenge, start with 4 little questions: 1) What if it is true? 2) What can I do about it? 3) What will I do about it? 4) What am I doing about it? --- ChillApp Plan (EQ App) By Annaley AmoAmo View More By This Developer Open iTunes to buy and download apps. https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/chillapp-plan/id575926884?mt=8 Your ChillApp Plan is strategies that can assist you to calm down, chill out or feel safe before you get over whelmed by a strong feeling. The plan helps you regulate emotions. Your strategies should be able to be easily used in most situations, done yourself and should assist you to calm, chill or feel safe. Design your plan, save, export as a photo. --- http://www.6seconds.org/2011/07/29/are-eq-matters-school-matters/ ----------- mcp ------------- Feelings are real and legitimate; children behave and misbehave for a reason, even if adults cannot figure it out. D-R The most compelling evidence in support of the positive impact of social and emotional learning programs in schools comes from a study conducted by the Chicago-based Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL, 2008). The meta-analysis of 213 studies of school-based social and emotional programs, which was based on a broadly representative group of 270,034 students, confirmed that students who participated in school-based social and emotional learning (SEL) programs delivered by classroom teachers (rather than external professionals) improved their academic performance by at least 11 percentile points. Time spent on SEL programs in schools enhances classroom-learning requirements. What’s more, students who participated in SEL programs performed significantly better on emotional, social, attitudinal, behavioural and academic variables compared to those who did not take part in these programs. (more information on this study can be found via this link). Six Seconds is proud to announce the launch of a new program to add to the current suite of programs. Attend our 3 day program on EQ Matters where educators will receive: •Information on how to leverage the latest neuroscience to support student learning •A proven actionable model for introducing Emotional Intelligence into the classroom •Certification in a statistically validated Youth Emotional Intelligence assessment (http://www.6seconds.org/tools/sei/sei-yv/) •Curriculum and lesson plans that you can take away and introduce to the classroom immediately ---------- mcp -------- When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with creatures of logic but with creatures of emotions.” - Dale Carnegie ----------- mcp --------- Intelligence plus character — that is the goal of true education. - Martin Luther King, Jr. By incorporating EQ into existing educational programs with easily adaptable curriculum, and by providing tools to measure emotional intelligence, we can promote our children’s achievement in the present and secure their success for the future. --- D-R http://casel.org/publications/a-meta-analysis-of-after-school-programs-that-seek-to-promote-personal-and-social-skills-in-children-and-adolescents/ Directory http://casel.org/research/publications/ - >> Post to LI-EIN Quotes from EQ Matters, 6 Seconds new SEL/EQ school curriculum for kiddos: When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with creatures of logic but with creatures of emotions.” - Dale Carnegie Intelligence plus character — that is the goal of true education. - Martin Luther King, Jr. Feelings are real and legitimate; children behave and misbehave for a reason, even if adults cannot figure it out. EQ Matters http://www.6seconds.org/2011/07/29/are-eq-matters-school-matters/ --- 05:57 Rebooting... open windows http://eqmatters.com/ http://casel.org/wp-content/uploads/A-meta-analysis-of-after-school-programs-that-seek-to-promote-personal-and-social-skills-in-children-and-adolescents1.pdf http://casel.org/wp-content/uploads/A-meta-analysis-of-after-school-programs-that-seek-to-promote-personal-and-social-skills-in-children-and-adolescents1.pdf http://casel.org/research/publications/ http://www.6seconds.org/2011/07/29/are-eq-matters-school-matters/ 07:08 Hey Melissa, NICE GOING! Great article, and sounds like a super-great Program (and I love the name -- EQ Matters -- goes nicely with EQRocks)! I would definitely like a copy of the report, please. I still believe that teaching our kids SEL is the #1 best possible thing we can do for our children, and our future! Thanks for spreading the magic of EQ to our kiddos. I re-posted your quotes on 6 Second's LinkedIn Group - The Emotional Intelligence Network... one of the largest gatherings of EQers on the planet... check it out. http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Emotional-Intelligence-Network-75300 --- Direct TV, paid $120 from EP Conf. # 40892031 --- shower pkp called (during, of course) Tom asked about class in SR. 07:58 out... 08:30 Bus! But someone took the back seat. slept past my stop, tho (just a few blocks) Breakfast Jack at J-i-t-B, so-so --- That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong. F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940) --- >> book to Andrew Wegner --- Lunchtime walk >> Good V. 1620 Polk St about 15 blocks Sutter to Polk, right long way, raining, sweatshirt and undershirt are soaked no luck Freddies, Polk and Post, no luck either darn --- PP = 3015 -120 DirectTV +3 orders today Jan. 23 3x Jan. 22 5 Jan. 21 4 Jan. 20 7 Jan. 19 5 PP-PKP = 830 +199 Cary paid for 2/8 class --- 4:20 --- I've been at IMS over 5 months now(!) wow. incredibly fast! 0 Aug. 20 1 Sept. 20 2 Oct. 20 3 Nov. 20 4 Dec. 20 5 Jan. 20 I'm pretty ok with having to work away from home, now. SF has been very interesting (tho expensive) the room in SR is great Tom's been awesome new car works fine (tho it's an additional $350 monthly expense) people are cool (tho my 2 faves - CJ and Zack, left/are leaving tomorrow) - ~ 1 more hour I got stopped on DAE1-2 and Shruti said she'd find another measure for me to do... but it probably wouldn't be today. haven't run out of stuff to do for awhile now. Pandora radio helps pass the time! Billie Joel, Sting, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zepplin, the Stones, Bob Dylan, ... Jim Croce, Simon & Garfunkle, I feel kinda bad about typing too much, as it's clear that I'm not 'studying'. observations can be quite complicated plus, I've fallen asleep about 10x, so far. ~0.5 more... ahhh... so tedious... and I've now dozed prob. a dozen times! 5:12, SG's out! someone's playing the trumpet, etc. out on Market St. very good -- and cool thing about SF! I wore my big purple old Navy sweatshirt today didn't realize how worn it is at the neck and wrists. oh well. It's super warm, and it's been berry, berry good to me! --- LI-EIN Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself. - Froude --- 5:30, I'm out! it's raining (some) --- --- Social Media tips FB connect, see pics, home for Likes and Hates biz can interact thru these Business Page Wall fans and critics, questions, comments, feedback, fanmail interact with your content, or each other Wall Posts - good things, experiences, complaints user generated comments about your brand mini-conversation Like = I Agree Twitter, good, but cluttered look out for: - relevant questions about your company helpful content, or contact referral - relevant questions about your industry you never know - requests for support notince and respond eq - Praise LI most bus-oriented networking, generating thought leadership grow a company's reach monitor: - LI Answers showcase your expertise requests for resources, advice re: your industry answer, add a link - Group Discussions questions, topics answer, comment, link to your resources G+ 40Mx, June 2011, Nov. 7, can do Bus Pages tightly woven into SEO direct connect, --- ND Rick, Feb. 8. Dustin, son and wife, Rob - D's friend and Gloria Nikki Cary Brett Rosemary --- 10:20 a bit more Frazier, then off to bed with you! --- 1.24 call shane, again marketing lady lisa rothstein! I'm sorry, I have failed to keep you guys involved to start/manage stuff that keep you and others engaged. shoulda asked for help a long time ago the meeting groups were so cool. book club >> we'll need a center manager for Fresno. Gloria! how much... per mo/ or % of enrollments... or Sharon, if we sent people to you, would you be willing to do an intro evening? 3 Steps to Dealing with Feelings AAA right-brain, left-brain >> LB/RB poster all posters re-made, BIGGER how to attach, and remove, and store they need to just stick, and unstick, blap! LH/SN: the tony/angie thing was none of your bee'z wax. we can Act safe to one person/most people, but if they know what we've done, even once, to another human it makes people feel unsafe around 'em. usually permanently. boink... feeling changed. you're violent. you're scary. you could go off on ME at any moment. I now have to be careful around you, alert, not let my guard down I gotta NOT say a bunch of things I woulda enjoyed sharing with you earlier... when I thot you were safe... but APPARENTLY, I was wrong. phew. glad to know, at least... here I was being all open and shit. well, back away. back away. yep. just like I do. back away. ... --- 06:03 D-R Where else do you learn how to Love! We can TEACH people how to Love. We can TEACH people how to be Kind. We can SHOW people how to get along. We can ALLOW people to be real, and honest, and genuine. We can FEEL closer, connected, and one. We can EXPERIENCE love, joy and calm, peace, and fire, hot, and bitter, cold, and everything in between. We can BELONG to each other. We can CONNECT with most everyone. We can BE SAFE to feel, to be, to express, to be real. We can HEAL the pain and trauma from our past. Hi Ayman. I've read your posts lately about the violence and EQ being the Antidote! Love that word... 'cause it's True! The pisser is that (so far), you and I are about the only ones jumping up and down about this! it's ok, we're getting there. EQ is gonna be the #1 Hottest industry in the next few years... and we are gonna ride this wave! woohoo... what's happenin' with feel.org? I have a request, tho, too... when you post, please don't say anything negative about Emotional Healing. We discussed this before, and you said you've seen shifty people 'selling' and not being real... but I gotta tell you... EQ has phenomenal, almost Magical healing powers!! I have seen semi-miraculous turn-arounds... from severe depression, anxiety and PTSD to not-so-much, from suicidal to not-so-much (in fact, quite the opposite... lovin' life, getting married, going to school, getting promoted kinda stuff) THAT's what I'm jumping up and down about! EQ heals. EQ saves. EQRocks! --- Matt Perelstein, the EQ Dude from EQRocks radio personality --- Doc I'd like your permission to put your information on EQRocks page. Where 2 go 2GetHelp with your life. Therapy Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT, author of "Taking Control of your Life: How to increase your Emotional Quotient (EQ)", does individual and couples therapy, and a free Huge group therapy for the community every Saturday morning in Fresno, CA. Doc, using his CABT therapy model, helps people incorporate the power and wisdom of right-brain feelings, memories, and core belief systems into the logical, practical left-brain knowledge taught in schools. In a gentle, accepting, safe environment, Doc uses Re-decision therapy, Gestalt and Adlerian concepts to learn and grow from the pain and trauma in life, feel-and-release big anger, sadness and pain, and raise self-awareness, self-esteem and self-acceptance. Once folks understand, manage and learn to enjoy their thoughts and feelings, which translates to __ Step 1: Emotional Responsibility No One Has EVER Made You Angry! You made you angry. In fact, your Thoughts about what they were doing made you Angry. They did not make you angry. You did. That's super-good news! because from now on, you can be Angry... or Not... it's TOTALLY up to you, forever! Have you ever had some yell at you, and even put you down, or call you names, and you laughed? sure, if they looked stupid, or they were full of bull, or they didn't have the whole story... whatever... it was YOU who made you angry, or YOU that found it funny and made you laugh. Our Feelings are pretty much based on our Thoughts. if we Think we are safe, or we Think we are not safe, that's gonna make a BIG difference in whether we feel calm, light and up, or scared, tense and vigilant. If we Believe that the hurtful words are true, we tend to react to them... but if we find them ridiculous, or stupid... we probably Won't get Angry, right? So, here's the deal... 1. We create our own Thoughts and Feelings. 2. Our Behaviours, our Actions, every way we act, everything we do, and everything we say, is based on at least one Thot and at least one Feeling. 3. We can't NOT think and we can't NOT feel... we may not be AWARE of what we're thinking and feeling, but we're still thinking and feeling. 4. Being AWARE of our thots and feelings, and how they effect our actions, words and behaviours puts US in control of our lives... not others. 5. We have total 100% control over our Attitudes, beliefs, values, and morales. 6. Therefore, Happiness is a choice. We can CHOOSE to be calm and Happy, or we can choose to be angry and miserable, it's UP TO US! (actually, with EQ, you can even learn to be angry and happy, at the same time!) Good news! - That gives us sooooooo much more Power and Control over our own lives. That means that our entire Life Experience is totally, 100% up to ME, and me alone... Cool! Yay! Excellent! Bad news! - That makes us Responsible. No more blaming. No more whining. No more Victim. If we don't like it, WE need to change it, either inside us or outside us, or both... but it's UP TO US what we decide to 'do' with things/life/people/situations/work/family/friends/life. More Good News! - We don't have to do it alone! - every 07:25 Buck divorce grieving stuck call tomorrow at 10:30 CBT-enhanced therapy --- 07:54 Easy is to judge the mistakes of others, Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes Easy is to hurt someone who loves you, Difficult is to heal the wound Easy is to set rules, Difficult is to follow them Easy is to dream every night, Difficult is to fight for a dream Easy is to say we love, Difficult is to show it every day Easy is to make mistakes, Difficult is to learn from them Joseph Anish Work For A Cause Not For Applause Work For A Cause ... more… Work For A Cause Not For Applause Live Life To Express Not To Impress Don’t Strive To Make our Presence Noticed Just Make Your Absence Felt … http://www.iwebcircles.com/user/positiveNews - Allen E. commented on Happiness Is a Skill "There's a very compelling documentary I watched on this topic, simply called HAPPY. It's a 2011 feature documentary film directed, ... "more… "There's a very compelling documentary I watched on this topic, simply called HAPPY. It's a 2011 feature documentary film directed, written, and co-produced by Academy Award nominated film-maker Roko Belic. It explores human happiness through interviews with people from all walks of life in 14 different countries, weaving in the newest findings of positive psychology. Belic spent several years interviewing over 20 people, ranging from leading happiness researchers to a rickshaw driver in Kolkatta, a family living in a cohousing community in Denmark, a woman who was run over by a truck, a Cajun fisherman, and more. - Allen E. commented on "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? "Absolutely, I agree. The challenge is usually is in the "how" and "when". Many times people know they need to make a change, but ... "more… "Absolutely, I agree. The challenge is usually is in the "how" and "when". Many times people know they need to make a change, but honestly don't know where to begin. Many times it requires gainining some new knowledge, challenging ones self, and (even after all that) taking a "leap of faith". The common denominator for people who do successfully change, I believe, is courage. ------- mcp ------ "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin --- I remember Steve talking about you and Richard way back when, back in Sacramento, where we all lived. As you prob. know, we did classes in Sacramento for many years... even had a permanent office for awhile. In fact, Paula was born in Elk Grove and our kids and grandkids were all born in Sac. That's cool that you got to go to NZ and stay for a bit... amazing place, isn't it? It sounds like it was a painful time for you, but I can't think of a better place to be hurtin', then in NZ, with S&C, and away from it all. Nice going. So, here's the scoop... I hate it that money has to enter into class at all, but it does. We'll do a class in San Rafael, and you're certainly welcome, but I'd encourage you to take the Fresno class on Feb. 8, if you can. We're more established there (20+ years!), you'd meet (and love) a bunch of Cheryl's friends, and it's happening 2 months sooner... which you could be enjoying more, and feeling closer to your fiance after ND. I talked to Paula about it, and since you're 'family', we can do a 2-fer-1 deal... and you can use a credit card, or even spread out payments, if that would help. Sound good? Here's the link to the sign-up page, where there are two forms you can download and complete beforehand, then email or fax back to me... one's a limit of liability, the other asks questions about you, your background, and what you want from the class so we can get to know you. www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/signup whatchathink? - Matt (916) 599-8597 any time btw, if you get a chance Misty, scan thru the Success stories page with Success stories of past ND graduates... you can read, listen and/or watch hundreds of happy(ier) folks after taking class... some recently, some over 20 years earlier! http:// --- ND Brochure, D-R, (!) ----------- mcp ---------- Courage is a teachable skill! --- --- 1.24 09:21 IMS LI-EIN I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge. - Og Mandino (1923 - ) "thoughts become things" love is stronger than justice. Common courtesy is a small gesture that makes a big difference and should be practiced as often as possible. Intelligence vs Wisdom Experience is a strange commodity for true learning comes from making the same mistake for the second time. As Kim quite rightly says - Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but wisdom comes from NOT putting tomatoes into a fruit salad. BUT - true learning and in-depth wisdom comes from the realisation that the ‘proper’ fruit is ‘contaminated’ due to the erroneous inclusion of the tomato. As I have grown older I have claimed some wisdom, perhaps falsely, sometimes, but learning, knowledge, experience [by doing things wrong as much as doing them right ...probably more so, in many respects] and wisdom leads me to - 'Images of Dad' …I feel sure that - eventually - we all come to realise how much of a human ring of truth these beautiful sentiments hold, hopefully, to us all. A 4-year-old says - “My Dad can do anything !” An 8-year-old says - “My Dad knows everything !” A 12-year-old says - “My Dad's got a few gaps in his knowledge.” A 14-year-old says - “My Dad didn't know that either !” A 16-year-old says - “My Dad's ever so old-fashioned !” An 18-year-old says -“My old man's way out-of-date !” A 25-year-old says - “Well ...he might know something about it.” A 35-year-old says - “Before we decide - let's ask Dad !” A 45-year-old says - “I wonder what Dad would have thought about that ?” A 65-year-old says - “I wish I could talk it over with my Dad !” Two days ago I was 66 ...so I know the last one to be profoundly true. By the way – How old are you…? The moral is - Love your Dad [...and Mum, of course] and learn as much while you can and don't forget, hindsight is a wonderful asset, but it doesn't always have to be your hindsight...! By Ray Hobby Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcolm S. Forbes #Emotional #intelligence mapped in #brainwww.sciencedaily.com A new study of 152 Vietnam veterans with combat-related brain injuries offers the first detailed map... "You never have to do anything. Don't know what to do? Do nothing. I wait. And that has been a big lesson: to be willing, to be still with myself, and trust myself and my higher power to help me make the right decision. And to not feel pressured." - Oprah Winfrey Intelligence is the capacity to understand things in depth whereas wisdom is the ability to choose between right and wrong. - Joseph Anish "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? Some choose to live in the pain, believing that the story of that pain is what gives them definition and substance in their lives. The day you make a conscious choice that something different is attainable is the day you will begin the journey away from pain and return to who you really are. By John Pinnoy "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin " if you find it in your heart to care for someone else, yuo have succeeded." - Maya Angelou Intelligence vs Wisdom Intelligence is the ability to analyze and synthesize; wisdom is the application of intelligence and therefore I would choose wisdom. EVERY DAY I REMIND MYSELF THAT MY INNER AND OUTER LIFE ARE BASED ON THE LABORS OF OTHER PEOPLE, LIVING AND DEAD, AND THAT I MUST EXERT MYSELF IN ORDER TO GIVE IN THE SAME MEASURE AS I HAVE RECEIVED AND AM STILL RECEIVING. - Albert Einstein --- D-R >> make a place where people can share their feedback, 2GH resources get folks involved in their own recovery --- so far banana at home apple here, from roach coach (yum!) --- 12-1:30 Lunch with the gang for Zack's going away, at Asha Tai restaurant -- wow -- sooo good! Zack, Jim, Shruti, Aileen, Youde, Edie, Luis awesome soup, crab, fried chicken on rice --- 1:45 Hi Jeannie, your order went out on Tuesday via US Post Office Priority Mail. Tracking numbers are extra, so I don't usually get one, unless requested beforehand. You should receive it tomorrow, or Saturday (if your post office has Saturday deliveries), or Monday at the very latest. I sent you some beauties! Let me know if you don't get your box by early next week. Enjoy! - Matt --- 3 Out-to-Lunches, so far me, coming CJ, going (we paid) Zack, going --- Hey... thanks for trying Nykia. Here's a replacement file (plain text). Note that it's still very rough, but I wanted you guys to see how much "ammo" I now have with so many powerful, game-changing statistics to show how significant EQ can be in numerous dif. areas. Thanks! (Hi to Shane!) - Matt - Thanks. a. I do NOT have a brilliant mind... my EQ is waay higher than my IQ (but thanks, anywayz). b. I do, however, think that teaching EQ to the masses is a 'fantastic idea'! c. As I've mentioned, I must submit this using their pre-determined format, so I'm not too worried about the write-up (yet). d. Yes, I've talked to Doc about co-authoring. We did one before, but unfortunately, his writing is even worse than mine! e. It still has to pass the 'bs' test... do you guys believe this is possible, or just bs? f. More to follow... cleaned up and more organized. Stay tuned. thanks. - Matt p.s. (I'll be you're one of the few folks in Vermont with a 408 area code!) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: New message from Nykia Hunter From: nykia.hunter@gmail.com Date: Thu, January 24, 2013 2:34 pm To: "" Hi Matt, I looked over what you wrote. I don't think there are any doubts that you have a brilliant mind and fantastic ideas. I'm glad you have been doing research and coming up with some hard science to back this stuff up. What I would love for you is to be able to take these ideas and put them into a formal format. Have you ever considered taking any community college courses in editing or grant writing? That is what I did when I decided to do OT in preparation because I knew I would be thrown into a lot of science I wasn't familiar with. Also, have you ever considered asking Doc to be a co-author for these grants? I hope all is well with the San Francisco job. Shane says hi. Have a wonderful weekend, Matt! Nykia Hunter, OTR/L Occupational Therapist 408-320-7946 --- come visit Patterson's Pub in Windsor. Whereas Patterson's Pub in Mendocino is a country pub, Patterson's in Windsor is a city pub. It is owned by our son, Sean, and his wife, Greta. When traveling on highway 101 between Healdsburg and Santa Rosa, take the central Windsor exit and go west three signals to the railroad tracks. The Pub is on your right. Directions can be found on our website, too: www.pattersonspub.com --- Hi Matt. I want to send my niece to ND in the near future. How much is tuition these days? Hope you are doing well!! Woohoo! So glad to hear from you, Jennifer! Since it had been so long, I thought you guys were upset with us. The next class is Feb. 8 in Fresno... and it should be a good one (pent up demand over the holidays!). I was just going to update the site to put the price back to $399... it's now at $299... so if jump on it, you can have the discount (... and since you guys have been such good customers!) Sound good? Hope to see you. Hi to Shawn, please! - Matt Signup page, with paperwork: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup --- Hi again, Debbie (Benevidez) dbbbrv@comcast.net Hey, we're having our workshop on Feb. 8 in Fresno! Still interested in attending? The price is still discounted on the site, so you can get the same discounted price, if you signup in the next few days. I still have your paperwork, too. Sound good. Hope to meet you, finally! - Matt --- ND Feb. 8 Enrollments >> Jennifer Stutzman's neice, $299, 1.24 Ricci ?? Debbie B? --- PP = 3101 +5x today PP-PKP = 830 6 out of IMS last time here for 11 days!! :) --- 7 meet pkp and bella girl at Safeway in SR to apt to show, and drop off pkp's car to 4th St, Pleasures of the Heart for a new V to Mexican restaurant on B st. (Excellent!) back to apt for Frazer, wine (no v) - 9:16 "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? ND Brochure In Emotionally Focused Therapy we make the distinction between first and second order change. First order change is thinking differently about something and the change is sustained for as long as the thinking is. Second order change is feeling differently about something, a shift to a deeper emotional layer, where lasting change is more likely to be sustained. - Elly Taylor --- to my small, little bed (but Bella hogs it!) --- 1.25 02:45 up, cold (no covers), uncomfortable (against wall) review ND file for next Fresno class (7x, so far) 03:15 >> write to assistants, potentials LI-EIN There is nobody else like you in the world and this is worth celebrating rather than searching for faults. ----------- mcp --------- He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. - Frederick Nietzsche Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values ather than personal gain. --- new 1B sub --- 03:48 Hi! Thanks for the info, and I got your phone call last evening. So glad you guys are taking the 'high road' and staying out of most of the fray! So, Christine is NOT coming to class, so Lourie, Meghan, Brett and Nikki are. Paula talked her into coming to the next class, instead. I could tell you much more about her/them, but it's not that interesting, really... except this... Lourie's last comment was something like, "I love my sister dearly, and miss her so. I'm going to write her a letter and invite her to ND to hash this out." NVDL (not very darned likely), ey? Anyway, I couldn't understand your voice message well, but it sounded like you were asking when Paula and I would be heading for Fresno. We usually leave Thurs. evening, stay in Sac over night (in front of a good friend's house), then head to Fresno Friday morning. Then, we return right after graduation Sunday night, and (somehow) I can make it back to Fort Bragg in time for Paula to get to work Monday morn. Since I need to be back in SF Monday, this may be modified some, but this will mostly work. Is that what you asked? Anyway, reply or call me again today (and/or I'll try you again). Take care. Love always and always! - Me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Please watch, this video will make your day. :) From: "Sheila Brown" Date: Fri, January 18, 2013 11:39 am To: Hello there, Oh dear, the Christine saga………yes, it does seem to continue and is NEVER ending. Bless your hearts, you have to be in the thick of it because of the course. Here is where I am sitting at this point. She and the kids are here and we do holidays with them (they are family and that is important to me). The kids are so sweet and soooo loving, as well as damaged due to the environment and the “TRAINING” or indoctrination they have been given. Soooooo, soooooo sad. We have all been on the receiving end of Chris’ tirades. We are fortunate in that she has always been on her best behavior with us, I am not really sure why but I guess that I can say that I have decided to like it like this. For years, many have said of Michael and I……..oh they are so naïve, they are so clueless, they have no idea……….because no one ever shows their true colors around Michael and Sheila…….. My response to that is, YA THINK!!!!! Do they believe that that is an accident??? That we are too stupid to see through the BS. Really?!?! (Sorry venting for a moment, Tee Hee) These days we are only allowed to have a surface relationship with them so we make the best of it right where we stand (for now). When we are together she does not go into her issues, talk about anyone, and for now, until she is able to get real (if ever) then that is the way it is. I cannot allow her to talk smack about anyone when everything leads back to her. I have spent years, taking the family members on as projects and it left me drained, frustrated and exhausted, with little to no change on their part. These days we (Michael, the kids and I) are on survival mode (only temporary), so my time and energy is limited. I love them truly and I enjoy them all for the small amount of time that we have together. The fact that they (including Lourie, Joyce, etc. etc) are on their best behavior works for us right now. (OOPS, venting again, sorry J giggle) It is sad that we cannot help them see what everyone else sees isn’t it. I do have to grieve from time to time that we can’t have the relationship that I want to have……….. Therefore, this is what I focus on……….. every single day, I am thankful to God and all that be that we have people like you in our lives. This kind of freedom, love, the tribal knowing, the unspoken languages, the all around community “getting it” is precious to me. I have so much respect for you for caring/loving her enough to go there and be honest with her. She truly needs someone who cares enough to take the risk. If anyone can do it, it is you Matt. You are right it may not work but what have you got to loose, right? Right now, I have made the kids (Mike and Shannah) the priority, they only have us in Washington, their Mother has taught them that you can throw people away, permanently and with a hateful energy and bias that is unacceptable and damaging. I cannot risk losing them right now but I am watching you closely, and learning from the MASTER. Thank you for yet another opportunity to watch you work. I LOVE my Mentors and you and Paula, my dear friends, have ALWAYS been. Thank you for that. Loving you back, - Sheila --- 04:03 Hi Melinda. You're sounding more 'solid'... you must have done some healing over the death in your fam. Sorry about that (and let me know if you need some help dealing with the feelings around it all). Yes, Monday's fine. In fact, next week, my wife is going out of town, so I arranged to work from home the entire week, so I'm excited to get a BUNCH of ND work done. Wanna pick a time to talk -- what's good for you? I have an 11am mtg Monday, but that's it (so far). Let's do this! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hi. From: Melinda Janicki Date: Thu, January 24, 2013 9:12 am To: Matt Perelstein Great thanks for this Matt - very organically it sounds like some things have progressed for you so I think it is a great idea to touch base and make sure we are on the same page. Let me take some time to review our old notes and use this email to devise a plan for you - do you think you can speak on Monday so I have the space and time to re-devise the plan and have the site up? Also thanks for being so upfront and you know based on the fact that you have hung in there for me I don't plan on running anywhere - I want to make sure you and the program participants are happy and simply get it - your concept is amazing and I know we can get you out there in the right way. -Melinda --- 04:18 (dual poops!) Yo Wendy! Thanks for the note. It was sooo great to see you again!!! As I mentioned, YOU were one of the main reasons I made that long drive. ... and Mark is Great! I can easily see how/why you like him so much -- and he obviously adores you, so CONGRATS with that! Yes, those pics are very important! Dad reprimanded me again about taking that folder of my pics (which I have zero recollection of), so I'll look around (but, yikes...). Sure hope I can come across them! Thanks for helping Mom with this. Java is cool. Programming is totally left-brain, so it takes a dif. way of thinking... how'z it going? do you like it? Good luck with it all... you'll do fine! So, yeah, we will try to make it to MI, too, in June, and AZ again in August. I hope. Did you see the pics I posted on the Yahoo! group? let's talk again soon. luv ya! Hi to Mark. - da bro. --- 04:25 FB-NDG Hi Rosemary -- I'm sooo glad you're returning to do more work! The paper work, and payment capabilities are here: www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/signup. You were a wonderful addition to the last class, and I'm excited to help you dig even deeper this time. Questions? c-u soon! --- >> copy more stuff to 500 drive, for travellin' --- Brandon Buchard Live. Love. Matter. --- 04:39 Lisa Rothstein Hi again, Lisa. Hope you're happy and well! It's been awhile, but we're still here, and still trying to get the good word out about EQ and our ND workshops! It's become even more urgent with the crazy school shootings lately, and I'm STILL motivated to let others know that EQ may be the "antidote" for people doing incredibly stupid things, where their emotions are out of control! So, I have a proposal for you... If you'll recall, I made 2 of 3 payments on your $2250 program, and I'd like to continue now. We didn't get much done before I got a bit freaked by your (excellent, yet difficult) focus on inviting people to an Intro night (which is a great idea, but tough for us to pull off, since we live 400 miles away). If I make the third payment, can we get back to it?? At this point, I'm thinking we need some print media pretty badly. I'm working on a 'general' brochure about the ND class (needs your masterful wording), and I'd like to come up with 3-5 customized brochures, as well, for niche markets (like for veterans, couples, recovery/healing past pain, women/men, gays, etc... we can discuss which would be best). Can we talk, and get back to work? Thanks. - Matt (916) 599-8597 --- Ways to Engage Your Readers on FB, by Denise Wakeman 1. Post quotes related to your subject or what's going on for you personally. Ask for similar quotes or what the quote means to them. 2. Post links to other people's articles that will help your audience. Don't make it all about you. 3. Ask questions (this is a great way to do research on a topic). I've written several blog posts based on the fantastic info shared by the community. 4. Answer questions. Make it known that you respond to questions about your topic/niche, products and services, or host a Q&A day (Social Media Examiner does this brilliantly every Friday, featuring an expert in social marketing). 5. Invite your fans to share links to their site/blog/fan page/twitter. My monthly Brag About Your Blog Day has become quite popular. Recently over 200 people bragged about and posted links to their blog. It was an awesome way to learn about what people are doing, what their interests are find potential JV partners and guest posting opportunities. Mari Smith hosts Fan Page Friday and I noticed that Adam Urbanski has started Marketing Monday on his page. 6. Host a video chat. I haven't done this though there are Facebook apps that will make this easy. There's also an app to host live text chats called Clobby. Read the rest of this article at: http://denisewakeman.com/online-visibility/6-ways-to-engage-your-facebook-fans/ --- Elance Promo Hire for a 10+ hour job, by February 15 and get the first hour FREE! --- Euc testimonial (sorta) http://www.youtube.com/user/precarious333 Mantids and other insects --- 5-5:30 nap, on floor (bed is full), with towel over not bad 05:33 IMS, open issues 06:29 FB-Jennifer Stutzman Oh my, Jennifer -- neither Paula nor I knew you had that many health issues -- sooo sorry! I'm on the board of the Mendocino Film Festival at home, and there's a fellow board member who has Lyme Disease, as well, and wow... what a drag! Sounds like you're getting ahead of it, but also sounds like quite a struggle. Of course you can come to class as long, or as short, as you want/can! Let me/us know what you need, and we will make every effort to accomodate you... you're important... and loved! So yeah, I remember Deanna... great lady! We're friends on FB, so I stay up with her a little... from her FB page, you'd never know anything was wrong, as she looks and sounds REALLY happy. But, of course, we all have struggles now and again, and I'm so glad you guys have a safe place to come, when things get tough. (I imagine you might have some backed up feelings about your disease, as well, ey?). Her page also says she still lives in Fresno, no? Let me know how we can help. Paula sends her love, too. Talk soon. - Matt (916) 599-8597 (any time) p.s. - you'll also have to meet our new doggie... Bella's a 1-year-old pure-bread Great Dane, and the prettiest, and sweetest (and BIGgest) girl ever! How are your crew?!? --- 7 out 8 Novato Matt & Jeff's water, gas and air I-HOP 9:30 pkp to Santa Rosa Airport noon willits 2pm home, with Bella girl 3:07 here! --- LI-EIN Vic Vogel commented on Can trust be rebuilt? How? When is it damaged beyond repair? Trust is built on love and grace. Love best defined by the Greek meaning Agape, or unconditional love. We tend to base our relationships on rules, whether it is a marriage, or a boss subordinate relationship. Rules without relationships often turn to rebellion. Relationships are best defined by unconditional love. C.S. Lewis described Agape as a self-less love, a "passionate" love for the other person's well being more than yours. Trust develops when a person truly believes you would sacrifice all for them, and those feelings are reciprocal. When this type of relationship exists, then rules such as "not committing adultery" have meaning and teeth to them. In business terms I often use to coach executives about allowing employees to receive the credit for the results, as opposed to them taking the credit. Unfortunately, the concern for employees is far from C.S. Lewis's definition, albeit, I did find some leaders who exemplified love for their employees. Their employees were willing to follow them everywhere. Can a person fall off the wagon, you bet. We all sin in this world, but God loves us anyway, unconditionally. If someone close to you falters and fails, and you truly love them you can offer them grace and forgiveness and accept them back. However, we are not God, and have our own faults, so our love can be shattered when a person fails to repent and when there is obviously not the same sense of unconditional love (Agape) from the person who you have provided grace. So, yes you can rebuild trust. In our non-perfect world there is a limit to how many times based on the people, their concern for each other, and the environment trust can be rebuilt. I personally believe our country is moving away from Agape and more to a self-centered society. Trust is dwindling in the world in general. --- Hi Jeff... sorry, but I'm going to have to re-schedule again. It turns out that I won't be in SF all next week, so Tues-Thurs the week after should work (2/5-2/7)... ok? Suggest a few times and I'll pick one. Thanks. Sorry. - Matt - "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? I totally support that statement. I've learned over the decades (now at age 70) that life is but a journey and that journey is sometimes controlled by circumstances. I adhere to the philosophy that "it's not what happens to you in life.....it's what you do about it that defines your character." One can equate the "pain of change" in so many respects, i.e. business, personal, social, economic, etc. "We've always done it this way" or "that's the way I was raised" are standard excuses to resist change. It takes a brave decision to step out of our comfort zone. Where would our world be today if not for the innovators who could see beyond the status quo. Part of the "pain of change" is facing the naysayers, the critics, the opposition. No matter what the issue, it's that first step that takes one down that new road. Not to say that there won't be many detours and the risk with the threat of failure, it's the journey that brings about growth, change, to evolve. The greatest pain, in my reality, would be to be denied the possibility of change. By Joan Settina - The only certainty in life, is death. - Catherine P. - I see it as--- Intelligence...is the ability to develop a workable plan. Wisdom...is using the same intelligence to take action when the plan is not working. By Joanne Johnson --- another new sub, 2x in 2 days! --- 4:56 Hi Melanie, Welcome to the elite group of fresh Eucalyptus subscribers! I received your order, and your phone call. I understand that your new friends won't be there for another month, so it seems like we should wait until it the date gets closer. To answer your question, the leaves on the branches (if you want them left on) should stay fresh for 2-3 weeks left in the cage. The best way to keep them fresh is to keep them in the freezer. However, some pets like the leaves better after they've dried... and the branches get harder, drier and lighter, but they don't actually go bad... ever. Would you like to wait? I can schedule your shipment whenever you wish. Also, if it gets toward another month and your next subscription payment comes up, I can combine the two orders and send you longer (up to 3'), and/or thicker branches at that time, if you want. Let me know your preferences... I aim to please... whatever you want. Thanks again! - Matt --- 5:02 Monday at 3 PM EASTERN should be dandy! Please call me then, at 707-962-9006. Thanks. - Matt p.s. - here's another thought to consider... I think it's all about the STORIES! People love stories, and we have some AMAZING Stories, real life, no bs, pure successes. I think I'd like big pics of people and make it look like they are talking / sharing / enhancing / teaching about the site/ND/EQ. Know what I mean? I think people can relate to our people, and our people are perfectly willing to share even their painful and intimate stories... which I believe is a key to having others believe/connect/join in. Kinda like RealityTV! Whatchathink? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hi. From: Melinda Janicki Date: Fri, January 25, 2013 9:12 am To: Matt Perelstein Thanks Matt for recognizing that and for the offer - much appreciated! I am available on Monday at 2 or 3 PM EASTERN - let me know if one of those work for you. -Melinda --- Lisa Rothstein Tuesday, January 29, 2013 10:00 AM - 10:30 AM Pacific Time Review Instructions Lisa Rothstein will call you at 707-962-9006 Appointment Type Borrow-my-Brain Breakthrough Session with Lisa Rothstein Call With Lisa Rothstein Your Information Matt Perelstein matt@2gethelp.com 707-962-9006 Company: 2GetHelp, Inc. What's the biggest question or issue about your business or marketing you're bringing to our call?: How do we use effective print, and other media to explain/entice/convince people that our ND workshop can actually change a person's emotional life for the better, in just one weekend? Comments: Thanks, Lisa! Confirmation #1519156 --- 3ish-6ish IMS --- Confirmed courseroom with Shane for Feb. 8-10. --- PP = 3091 + 4x today, +6x yesterday! +2 new subs - 23 mex dinner last night in SR -120 DirectTV - 14 AM/PM Willits - 17 I-HOP, Novato, with PKP -28 Pleasures of the Heart --- D-R Dr. Marc Brackett who will be heading up the new Emotional Intelligence in Schools Center at Yale University. The website www.wpkn.org or 89.5 FM in Bridgeport, CT --- 6:51 Wow, Charles, EQ at Yale, ey?? very cool, indeed. Hey, along with Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT, we've been teaching EQ in an educational/therapeutic environment for over 25 years now (with significant results), and I/we've been on many radio programs (recordings available upon request), so I'd be happy to be a guest on your show someday, if you'd like. Let me know, if that sounds good. Thanks for all you do to spread the good news about EQ! - Matt www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com On 01/25/13 7:20 AM, Charles Wolfe wrote: -------------------- Hello, If you were unable to listen to the interview with Dr. Paul Stiles about a scientific approach to investing, the link to the archive is now up and available at http://www.prx.org/pieces/91243-zev-capital-research-an-emotionally-intelligent-a It was an intriguing discussion about science, history, emotion management and investing. If you know anyone that is concerned about their investments and looking for a unique approach please pass along the information. If you choose to listen please let me know what you think by commenting on the public radio exchange website or contacting me directly. If you wish to learn more and to contact Dr. Stiles you can go the website www.zevcapitalresearch.com. As a reminder, next week, Wednesday, January 30, 12-1 PM ET I will be interviewing Dr. Marc Brackett who will be heading up the new Emotional Intelligence in Schools Center at Yale University. The website www.wpkn.org or 89.5 FM in Bridgeport, CT. Warm regards, Chuck Wolfe --- WishList Member, PayPal Update http://customers.wishlistproducts.com/paypal-critical-update/ --- 7:19 switching up to the house! I've got like 11 days to do what I want, whatever I want. woohoo!! Tracy called invited me to a crab feed tomorrow @ 4 @ the firehouse, with her, sean and terri (granny)... Paula called Christine did NOT hang out with her all day... she went shopping, and to dinner with Shannah, in her new Camaro. 7 ferrets. 8:55 espn kitchen unknown internet connection no signal, or very low, but works fine, mostly I'm tired, and gonna veg tonight big day tomorrow, getting the brochure re-done. g'night (nothing exciting on, anywayz) --- 1.26 05 up Australian Open, women's final Li Na (yay) vs. Azarenka (boo) Li twister her ankle, then again, and fell and hit her head. ouch. was still winning... but other lady is strong, tough, more aggressive, more angry tuff loss. Li Na is over 30, chinese, very lovable and funny ("I didn't sleep well last night, my husband going ---- snoring noise -----", and "you were behind, so how did you push yourself in that last set after not sleeping well last night... the prize money! lol!" oh well, it's just a sport. she totally won over the fans, anywayz they said over 16M people in China watch every time she's on tv. wow. - what's right? everytime vs. every time sometime vs. some time vs. vs. v. big questions for early in the morn. --- 06:29 had salad(!) buy-2-get-1-free from safeway, very good. makes me feel good about me. sometimes (or some times), I add stuff to 'em, but they always have the base, mostly spinach, then 3 toppings in round, floating container up top... often another small bag of croutons or such... and a fork... and just the right amount of dressing. They're easy to open, tasty, inexpensive, and very well done, over all. yay. get some more. great munchie. busy-ness setup environment better. cleaned a bit, took lamp from front windowsill and put it next to laptop, so I don't have to turn on the big overhead kitchen lights... way mo' betta. re-plugged in and turned on paula's santa display on table. plugged in paula's blue christmas tree, and lights, across front windows. tuned tv to music stations... but, then off. really nice. (love the Tab-Indent feature here in EditPad!) 07:10 Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex. Simone Signoret (1921 - 1985) 07:23 I have a S/W shopping list going, in one of the tiny notebooks I like to keep in the kitchen... and a ToDo list, hand-written, so I can carry it with. I also have a CostCo, Wal*Mart list I carry in my wallet when I'm away. When I'm home, my wallet's usually in the car, so that's not helpful. Transfer to new ToDo list (which is on long, white paper). >> list: Plug-in MH MFF flyers around FB Rite Aid $1 rawhide Bones Orders labels and fill tomorrow to S/W wrote to specific NDers about class check IMS email S/W eggs (1x) Milk Salsa Torts 3 salads (just added, after describing them above) --- I'm letting down our current grads, in favor of saving the world. But I gotta try. best thing I can do for them is finish the brochure. and re-hire Lisa and write to Gloria --- -------------- mcp ------------ Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads; hundreds and hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex. - Simone Signoret (1921 - 1985) (posted to LI-EIN quotes) --- 07:26 ND Brochure replaced 1st pic with celebration - Good News! replaced 7 steps to feeling with 3 steps to good mental health >> post it today! a. We're having class, and it's gonna be a good one. 7 students and 12 assistants, so far. Join us! b. Here's a new ND Brochure. You can print it, or email it, or link to the PDF (or, later, link to the page) --- EQ, however, is not an end, in itself. although you can bask in our sunlight, once you can turn the light on your right-brain EQ, it's not really DOing anything, per se. EQ is more of an attitude and a lifestyle... what you DO with your EQ, and your IQ, is what your life looks like. IQ is what you think about yourself and your life. EQ is what you feel about yourself and your life. But neither are your actual life. "Life's what's happenin' when you're making other plans." - John Lennon --- Norman R. commented on The results classic Marshmallow Test have been reinterpreted by new research. The original conclusion was that children could wait for a... "BTW, consider the matter of resilience -- not the same as impulse control, but rather a sort of the mirror image of impulse control. While impulse control is about managing the urge to take, resilience is about managing the urge to receive -- i.e. the urge to receive and accept messages from the environment that would control and shape one's self-image, rather than forging one's own image and direction. IMHO, resilience is just as important and trainable as impulse control. " --- Annoy a woman: Use facts and logic Men tend to rely more on their IQ. Women tend to rely more on their EQ. Balance is the key! --- 08:24 made first fully-functional NDBrochure.pdf then immediately changed the 01236, to 0126a.doc ... and so on... Educational (IQ) and Transformational (EQ) --- 09:09 I see. Well, my products are pretty simple, and could probably be handled on just 1 line using abbreviations. S = Starter Pack 1C = 1lb. combo 1L = 1lb. leaves 1B = 1lb. branches etc. if that would help... Good luck with it all. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: MA'Friends just sent you $11.98 USD with PayPal. From: Arren Date: Sat, January 26, 2013 6:37 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Thanks Matt! Yes, the reason the order is not in the PayPal email is because PayPal puts everything on one line and it only lets me put in a limited amount of characters. It basically makes everything hard to read. On 1/25/2013 10:01 PM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: Got it. Out Monday. The new order emails worked fine, Arren. If the item ordered was on this copy, it would only require 1 email (but I'm sure you already thot of that)! Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: MA'Friends just sent you $11.98 USD with PayPal. --- 09:17 FB-EIN Let's see if we can get to 2,000 members by Valentine's day (Feb. 14, the only holiday that's celebrates a Feeling -- Love)! Invite your friends and colleagues, or "Add People to Group" at the upper right of this page. We who know how powerful and game-changing EQ can be are responsible to teach/show/tell others who do not know. Help me/us spread the good word about EQ! --- Tom here to ask for my bench, for AA we discussed the gym re-opening 2/15ish and repairs/remodel happening this would be an excellent time for them to re-work the front wall on court 1, as it's broken, cracked and not flush. it's the main wall in the main court. $200 / panel for new, but most won't just sell a panel or two so Tom suggested just trading them... the lower for the upper... which is a great idea! Larry Hinton owns and manages the Sports Club, but he will only be the GM of the gym (RHC). >> look for a letter from the gym. 10:35 ACT www.ACT-Fresno.com At Affective Center for Therapy, ACT, we specialize in therapy for Anxiety Disorders such as: Panic disorders, PTSD, OCD, and GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. We also specialize in Depression, Anger Management and Relationships. We provide therapy for individuals, couples and families in relationship building, conflict management, problem solving without losers, and parenting. We teach anyone who wants to learn more about themselves how to be their own therapist and therapeutic to the ones they love. We use the Cognitive, Affective, Behavioral Therapy approach, CABT, to achieve change, as we believe that is the fastest, most effective means to use our entire brain to effect dramatic improvements. The left hemisphere of the brain is where concrete, rational thought processes occur; a Cognitive approach works best for problems in this area. The right hemisphere of the brain is where emotions, feelings and flashbacks occur; we use an Affective approach for problems in this area. Along with traditional talk therapy, techniques used to help integrate the two hemispheres may include psychodrama, visualization, imagery and role playing. - Therapy Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT, author of "Taking Control of your Life: How to Increase your Emotional Quotient (EQ)", does individual and couples therapy, and a free Huge group therapy for the community every Saturday morning in Fresno, CA. Using an enhanced therapeutic model he developed called CABT or Cognitive-Affective Behavioural Therapy, Doc helps people incorporate the power and wisdom of right-brain feelings, memories, and core belief systems (EQ) into their logical, practical, left-brain knowledge taught in schools (IQ). In a gentle, accepting, safe environment, Doc uses CABT, Re-decision therapy, Gestalt and Adlerian concepts to help people learn and grow from the pain and trauma in life, feel-and-release big anger, sadness and pain, and raise their self-awareness, self-esteem and self-acceptance. Email: DocDowning@att.net Therapy: Affective Center for Therapy --- trash out, from every room re-made couch, so thin blue blanket is covering ottoman (which is getting worn out from doggies) recycle out compost out feed/play with doggies do dishes 10:47 Our Western society (and maybe others, less known to me) are close to obsessed with growing and development -- self-realization. In a time when a great majority of our populations are living physically comfortable lifes in a way their grandparents hardly could dream of (partly because they didn't know they "needed" sooo much stuff), many people kill their potential happiness by asking "Where in life SHOULD I be at this age?" or "I need to be better at this or that". A person not striving are often judged as lazy or maybe even a bit stupid. I sense these attitudes in myself but strive to not strive... Here in secular-but-yet-protestant-Sweden I believe we inherited these attitudes from the Christian idea "God loves those who work hard and strive". Maybe that's why Buddhism gets so much attention nowasays, when it says "It's already in you, all you need for a happy life. Free your mind, and the rest wil follow". By Fredrik Torberger --- 10:49 light off... nap time... hmmm... nice, but too long. 2:14 Myron Doc Downing Group was fantastic this morning. There was one piece that reminded me of a quote: The only problem with sadness, anger, hopelessness, anxiety, anguish, misery, is that you want to get rid of them. You have to live with them. You ... cannot just escape. They are the very situation in which life has to integrate and grow. - Rajneesh 3-4 compost out, burned trash, checked MH (needs water, but Paula had plugged it in after WWW). showered Spot E. Boy, for his birthday present showered me (whoa...), clean clothes and everything! went by gym, wow -- completely repainted and spruced up. Swithenbank signs everywhere, and a # to call for sign-ups (946-6410?). Mendocino Sports Club (?) soon!! (wish it was this week, since I'll be home!) recycleds at PS to Crab Feed (with Bella girl) at Firehouse with Sarah B., Tracy and Sean - MLCU paid $40/ea for us, bought drinks. all-you-can-eat crab, basic salad, great garlic bread fun, good, small town, USA event! RiteAid for rawhide bones... nope... got flat ones, instead. and a 3 Mustakateers, with coconut. not bad, not great. mail some for Tom, so dropped his off. 7:55 Sarah B. called to come get her at work (Old Mex) she's staying over tonight with me! home on the way she just got her learner's the other day, so she wants to drive, at least up McDonnell Lane! --- 7:52 Hi. I'm sooo happy for YOU, and him, that Rick is ready/willing to go. In new relationships for NDers, the chances of it 'working out' seem to diminish significantly if the new guy will not do class. Good sign... so Yay... and bally-hoo! You have paid plenty, and have earned a freebie, if you need it... ok? Hey, I had another idea... I think Fresno is RIPE right now for the classes to grow! Don't you feel that way? The world is hurting enough, and with the school shootings (all in the US, btw), people are... and they're struggling for answers. Well, EQ just might be the Antidote to social ills, and we just might have some of the keys to changing the whole shooting match (pun intended)! EQ's a game changer. sooooo, I was thinking... why don't you come work with me/us/ND/2GetHelp? Build/run the Fresno center?? we actually have some funding, so we could get shit done - like Brochures, geared toward custom markets. You were just saying how this info needs to get to family court, and veterans, and foster programs. Well... let's make it happen. I need your help. (crying now) I have FAILed to keep people involved in Fresno. I have FAILd to find stuff for people to do, get involved with, continue their CONNECTion, and their growth. Gloria, you are the one who has been most supportive of our cause. think about it. You could ease into it slowly... ... but I'd like to work with you, permanently, to do together what you and I know we both were put here to do. those of us who know are Responsible to teach those who don't. dammit. which brings me back to... how cool it is... that Rick is ready and willing to Deal with his feelings!! btw, that is t-Totally a reflection on YOU! He's never met any of us... only You... and he likes what he sees, and more importantly, what he Feels, around you. You really are a good friend, hoser! let me know your thots. call anytime (I'm home, alone, for the whole next week). - Matt draft #2 of brochure is attached. I think I can still make it much more powerful... so more to follow. --- LI-EIN William M. Optimistic people are 23% less likely to die of cancer and 30% less likely to die from heart diseases. Learn how: Optimistic people are 23% less likely to die of cancer and 30% less likely to die from heart diseases. Learn how: http://t.co/mm1NGSnU --- Gloria called and YES, she'd like to run the Fresno center(!)(!)(!) kinda depends on Rick's international travel plans... but who knows... it might work out! we'll be talking again on Tuesday to plan. --- Mastering Leadership Workshops http://askten.co.uk/services/training/workshops ...You are hereHome» Workshops.....Workshops Leadership skills have now been universally recognised as a key ingredient in management. A good manager is now by definition a leader. Equally, a good leader will also be a manager. Our leadership workshops are practical guides for both those about to take up a leadership role in any organisation, and equally business leaders already in such roles who wish to improve their leadership skills. If leadership matters to you, then our workshops will give you a complete framework for mastering leadership. ..Our next workshop Mastering Leadership 28th February 2013 London More Information View all workshops ...Citations What our clients say about us... “William Montgomery is a fantastic facilitator providing the most original introduction I have had from a presenter in all my years of public speaking.”Simon Woodroffe, Founder of YO! “William Montgomery and TEN are doing a great job. The advice and support that they can offer is invaluable to any business however large or small.” Jacqueline Gold, Chief Executive of Ann Summers“Entrepreneurs are both the present and the future. William Montgomery is doing a fantastic job getting entrepreneurs together, sharing excellence and almost literally creating the future before our eyes. I am inspired by his passion, energy and unbounded enthusiasm.”Richard Duvall, Founder of Egg and Zopa “You are not going find anyone who will give you more practical advice and ongoing support, resulting in measurable improvements to your personal and business life, than William Montgomery.”Steve Jobs, Former Chairman of Apple..The facilitator of this workshop is William Montgomery William is a leadership consultant with first class credentials. A former naval officer and business executive, he now heads up TEN, where his focus is on delivering excellent results through excellent people. He has chaired and addressed conferences across the UK in the private and public sectors. William’s messages are practical, and presented with electrifying effect. He shakes up and inspires his audiences, showing them what lies within their grasp. ... Learn all you need to know about leadership and understand the core skills and personal attributes needed to be an effective, confident and supportive leader. Learn how to gain your staff's trust and commitment and discover practical techniques for use when delegating authority, dealing with difficult people and managing change in challenging times. Learn how to handle real-life situations and develop the first class skills that you need to become a dynamic and inspirational leader. --- 1.27 00:00 beg. of Australian Open finals Djokavic vs. Andy Murray(!) 00:57 to bed --- 06:30ish up do dishes 07:08 FB-Rosemary Hi Rosemary. I think we're just have a difference in terminology here... 'Reviewing' is when you re-take the class, as a student, sitting down, where you're sure to get time and attention to whatever you need to work on... that costs... it's only half-price, but it costs. 'Assisting' is when grads come back to help the other new students... they stand (mostly), they're 'job' is to help others... they get specific time only if there's time, and it's up to you (mostly) to get what you need from the class... that's free... forever! Sooooo, the big question is... do you want to do some more specific work on yourself this class (which I would encourage, esp. since you're a 'rookie' and you had such amazing breakthroughs last class) or do you just want to help out (which you, personally, will always be welcome in my/our classroom, as you are super-loving, positive, wonderful person!). hmmm...? does that help clear things up? Call me if you wanna talk. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- F.L.Y. First Love You! First Love Yourself! --- "It is not our task in life to judge the worthiness of one's path, It is our task to walk our path with worthiness. Our heart (who we are, the real you/us) is known by the path we walk." --- Fear or Faith? Fear is belief in the negative. Faith is belief in the positive. Living in fear is limiting and exhausting. Living in faith is liberating and energizing. Both are simply beliefs, yet beliefs are what create our reality. They're the software operating our lives. I want us to go into 2013 with Faith. Faith in ourselves, faith in our dreams, faith in other people, faith in our future... Which will you choose... Fear or Faith? --- 07:43 THE GUERRILLA FIRM VERSUS THE TRADITIONAL FIRM Which one are you??? The Guerrilla Firm ----------------------------- Dynamic and learning Information-rich Global Small and large Skills-oriented Team-oriented Hired employees on attitude Involvement-oriented Lateral and networked Customer-oriented Engages in intense customer follow-up Uses an active referral program Uses disappearing task forces Techno-streamlined No middle management Accessible 24 hours a day Accessible 7 days a week Flexible Reveres effectiveness Sells what customers need The Traditional Firm ----------------------------- Stable and entrenched Information-scarce Local Large Job-oriented Individual-oriented Hired employees on aptitude Command-oriented Hierarchical Job requirements-oriented Does no customer follow-up Has no referral program Uses permanent task forces Techno-reluctant Abundant middle management Accessible 8 hours a day Accessible 5 days a week Inflexible Reveres efficiency Sells what customers want To market like the guerrilla, your business must be run by guerrilla principles. It's simple to identify a guerrilla-run firm using the philosophies listed above. "Never be afraid to ask the next question: 'Why not?'" -- Theodore Sturgeon --- chat with Dad on FB 7:26amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Hey Matt, how are you today? ... 7:26amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Who wants to know?!? :) ... 7:27amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Who do you think, Dad, of course. ... 7:27amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Yeah, I knew that! just playin'. I learned that from you, btw! And I very much like that part of me, that I learned from you! I think I have a pretty good balance between keeping things light, while being serious about what's serious. you, too, right? ... 7:34amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Right, although it seems like there is less and less to keep light about. Mom and I went to Phoenix yesterday in a driving rain storm to attend a Parkinson's "Victory" Rally in the Phoenix Conference Center. There were more than 1000 people there and it was put on by the Davis Phinney Foundation. They were trying to raise everyones' spirits with lots of cheering and yelling but the truth is, there was a lot of sadness too because the reality is that there is NO CURE, things will get worse and there's not much anyone can do about it. Mom's outlook is still good, her spirits are up and e have plunged headlong into the exercises that are recommended. We both are hoping that exercise will put off many of the symptoms. ... 7:38amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein We can try to ignore the negative, and the pain, and the struggle... or we can be Real about it, acknowledge it, understand it, feel it (sometimes), and then let it go and CHOOSE the positive. Faith over fear. Lightness vs. heaviness. Joy vs. pain. I hear you. It is sad, too... and it's kind of a shame that they didn't acknowledge that, as well. Makes the cheering, the lightness, feel forced and not real, ey? ... 7:41amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein I know this is serious with mom. I know it's not gonna get better... only worse... and I know that you, especially, are gonna have to 'deal with' this, on a daily basis, and watch her deteriorate, right before your eyes, and you can't stop it. Ouch! I, too, am super-worried about mom. ... 7:41amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein ... and you/she/we all try to stay up, and positive about it all. It could be a horrible drag... or... it can be something we gotta deal with, and get thru, and do our best with. ... 7:45amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Well, we have decided to be Real about it and do everything that we CAN do. There were some interesting talks about research going on to get a better handle on future tests and medication to stop or even slow down the disease. There was a very good demonstration of the exercises that have been sucessful in keeping PD patients moing and aable to get on with their lives. Mom starts a 4 week, 4 times a week program called PWR! tomorrow morning at a Rehaab center downtown Flagstaff, it's like a small gym but run by a doctor whol specializes in Parkinson's Disease physical therapy. He has high hopes for Mom because she is still very active. ... 7:47amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein YAY!! Sounds good! Do what you can do, and deal with what we can't, right? Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference! sounds like a very cool PT place. Glad that's available to you guys, right there in Flag! ... 7:50amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Right, That is exactly the philosophy we are TRYING TO STICK TO. Sometimes it's haard to keep remembering, though. hope all are well at your corner of the world. We are expecting snow tonight and very cold weather tomorrow and Tuesday, overnight lows about +4 degrees with daytime temps in the 20's or teens. Not looking forward to that at all. ... 7:52amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein yes. it's super-difficult to stick to... I hear that. These premises/skills/attitudes are very 'simple', but they ain't 'easy'... that's for sure. Might be one of the hardest things you guys go thru... ever... but you CAN get thru it! I'm sorry that this is happening, to you, to her, around you. Things were going so well, and now this huge bomb was dropped in your lap. ouch. ... but I know you guys have the strength, and focus, and will to stay positive, and ACTIVE, and as 'ok' as you can be, under the circumstances. You guys are strong people (I love that about you), and it's helped me be a strong person, as well. We'll get thru this, together. ... 7:55amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Yes, as long as we stay together, we WILL get through it. ... 7:56amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein YEP! you rock, dad! I love you VERY much! ... 7:58amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein the more I work with others, and see the kinda lives and childhood they had, and the parents they had... the more I appreciate YOU and MOM, for giving us soooo much... so much love, so much joy, so much peace... I just wanted you to know that I see, I feel, and I appreciate it/you/mom, all of it! ... 7:57amExpand Show ImagesKay Perelstein Mom just got up so I'm going in to make breakfast and then get on myMARS radio netowork at 10 am. Give our love to everyone there and know that we both love you very much and are very proud of you. Have a good day. Dad & Mom :) ... 7:58amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Yay... will do. Off to MARS with you, then! Have a good one. Talk soon :) (oh, and I'm having steel-cut oatmeal for breakfast... 'caus-a you, again!) Paula's up in Seattle nursing her sister's hub for a week (massive surgery), so I'm here alone... but Sarah B. came and spent the night last night... very nice, indeed! (she said to say Hi, too... she LOVEd you guys!) sorry, I'll let you go... bye! Kay Perelstein Thanks, Matt, that really makes us feel wonderful. (good aabout the oatmeal, that's what I'm cooking now.) :) Please say HI to Sarah B. and the rest of the family. Bye ... 8:03amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein bye! :) --- 08:27 D-R, to Nykia and Shane Hey Dude and Dudette: Ok, let's talk about format... EQ is happenin'... but it's hard to see... until listed together. Twenceforth, I want to get a bunch of these powerful stats/back-up/proof (see below) into my very short document... but I'm not sure how to best format it. Each item needs to be categorized, and include a link, and a semi-short explanation (some longer than others). btw, I've heard that it's not advisable to put links inside your document, as it could distract the reader off somewhere on the net... but, I'm doing the opposite... I want a link, or two, for most Everything I have to say... thus every point has backup... it's optional if you/they want to click it, but this will be submitted as a PDF, so I can link-away. dig? Keep in mind, this is not a science paper that needs to conform to rigid rules... it's more of a sales letter... using their basic outline... but it's about 'convince us' that you have an amazing idea, which you've already tried and gotten amazing results, and you as a person are amazing enough to pull it off and change the world... in 3 pages + a resume... ready, go. (lol.) How would you suggest to 'display'/format the research items below, so that they are legible, clear, powerful, and as short as possible? Any examples, you've seen? SIDE NOTE: Another tricky part of EQ is that so much of it is subjective (EQ) vs. objective (IQ). Everyone wants numbers and stats and quantifiable Proof... but Nykia, what #'s would you use to quantify the dif. between how you felt before ND, and how you've felt since?!? It's a tough thing to measure. There are now (gobs of) EQ 'tests', but still... how do you quantify freedom, and peace, and love, and trust, and cleaning up your past so you feel better about who you and your place in the world?? (from my perspective, this is the most important thing I've ever written... and if things go well, it could be one of the most important documents anyone has ever written.) Thanks for your support... it REALLY helps me to know that I'm talking to someone (you guys), and someone cares/believes in me/it/us/eq/nd. this lady I met the other day, after she started 'getting' how powerful this is and how she has/had developed physical ailments 'directly' from her stuffing her emotions, said, "Who needs an MD when you have ND?!?" - Matt ------------------------------------------ Title: EQ's Global Impact (D-R) Categories (what order?) - Education <-- compelling stats, good place to start - Mental Health <-- which we know the most about! - Business <-- yes, it can make/save money, too! - Military <-- kinda mental health, but more of a structural change - Medicine / Health Care <-- huge $$ effected here! - Criminal Justice(?) <-- I don't have much on this, may skip - Mainstream / Social Media - It's happenin', explain how! Education - The Impact of Enhancing Students’ Social and Emotional Learning: A Meta-Analysis of School-Based Universal Interventions http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01564.x/abstract http://casel.org/publications/a-meta-analysis-of-after-school-programs-that-seek-to-promote-personal-and-social-skills-in-children-and-adolescents/ http://casel.org/research/publications/ directory Anchorage Alaska School District: The Positive Impact of SEL for Kindergarten to Eighth-Grade Students: Findings from Three Scientific Reviews. public school district (STAR testing scores up 25%!) Case Studies Assessment and Advancement of SEL Practice (Anchorage) - Download http://casel.org/publications/assessment-and-advancement-of-sel-practice-anchorage/ U of Chicago's new Professor of SEL Bullying: Schoolwide passing rates on standardized exams for Algebra I, Earth Science and World History were 3 percent to 6 percent lower in schools where students reported a more severe bullying climate. “This difference is substantial because it affects both the educational success of many students who don’t pass the exams and the school’s ability to meet federal requirements,” said Cornell, who is also director of the U.Va. Youth Violence Project (http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu). The most compelling evidence in support of the positive impact of social and emotional learning programs in schools comes from a study conducted by the Chicago-based Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL, 2008). The meta-analysis of 213 studies of school-based social and emotional programs, which was based on a broadly representative group of 270,034 students, confirmed that students who participated in school-based social and emotional learning (SEL) programs delivered by classroom teachers (rather than external professionals) improved their academic performance by at least 11 percentile points. Military Dr. Martin Seligman U of PA Trained ALL 40,00 Army Drill Seargeants to train their 1.1M troops Resilience Training Dr. Martin Seligman's Interview with Harvard Business Review (HBR) re: Resilience turning PTSD into PTG! rated at 4.9 of 5, "best training ever had in the army" http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1552 http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html Brig. Gen. CORNUM: Well, we're not describing it as an experiment. We're describing it as training, and I think we have shown that emphasis on physical fitness has resulted in that the Army's average, you know, percent body fat is lower than the civilian society, so I think we will - we have reason to think that unequal emphasis on psychological fitness will result in our psychological fitness being higher than the civilian population in general. Health Care: Kaiser's ACE Study: Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults Obama Care "Avoidable Re-admissions" Obama monitizes the requirement to add EQ to hospitalization and health care The HeartMath Institute Research shows that the magnetic energy of feeling is about 5,000 times greater than thought alone. We hinder our self - spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically when we try (notice I said, 'try') to repress them or ignore them. Now that I've come to honor them as a part of my natural physiology and learn how to harness them in a healthy way, I feel not only calmer and clearer, I also feel that my decisions are more intelligent. By Valencia Ray, MD Aging: Won't have physical health, need mental health. “100@100 Survey” (view PDF at UnitedHealthGroup.com) — begins with some startling numbers. As of late 2010, the U.S. had an estimated 72,000 centenarians, according to the Census Bureau. By the year 2050, that number — with the aging of the baby-boom generation — is expected to reach more than 600,000. Mental Health / Therapy / Emotional Healing and Recovery /Personal Training and Development Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours (start small and build in scope) Measuring Emotion: Rethinking Mental Health Documentary: Measuring Emotion in mental health will eliminate labeling, enable scrutiny of providers, reduce deaths from pharmaceuticals & will Define Better. http://www.indiegogo.com/measuring-emotion-to-define-better Veterans: Veteran suicides outpaced combat deaths for past 3 years (2008-2010)! popularity of new business, career and life Coaching industry popularity of self-help books/media/trainings VA: over 40% of returning troops have PTSD / PTSD grant wording "We don't know...", but here's what's working - exposure therapy, gestalt, CBT excellent wording re: PTSD! http://www.iom.edu/Reports/2012/Treatment-for-Posttraumatic-Stress-Disorder-in-Military-and-Veteran-Populations-Initial-Assessment.aspx Suicides: Every year, almost one million people die from suicide, emotional support helps Popularity of CBT , improvements with CABT The World Health Organization (WHO) mentioned "Emotional Intelligence" 151 times, in discussing training, preparation, healing, happiness, suicide prevention, etc. Dr. Brown's proposal for the VA to offer ND CABT/EQ training for PTSD patients. core decision-making processes (LB/RB) continued success of 12-step programs Business Fedex's EQ Department Hotel chains are doing massive service-related, EQ-friendly training Sales, stats on improved #'s The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence http://www.6seconds.org/case/ – review of current research linking EQ to improved leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. Criminal Justice(?) vast majority are young males, stats 3x as many black males in prison today as there were slaves, ever healing / results? - Mainstream: Entertainment, Ad Tag Lines K <3: if 'the boys' were there, that means K <3 is reaching MILLIONS incl. black males (where we need to focus!(!)) Advertising tag lines, like "Just Do It!", Popular advertising slogans and company tag lines offer EQ-friendly advice on staying strong, being bold and not letting the world get you down. Astronomical popularity or reality tv and face-to-face competitions (American Idol) >> get #'s Bible: "Be Angry and Sin Not"... 2,000 years ago "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." list some of the huge events happening re: EQ Parents: A recent poll by USA Today showed that, when asked what they most wanted to change in their children's schools, a full 75% of all parents asked for emotional literacy - though not by name. Parents' most frequent request (36%) was the desire for more school counselors - a need alleviated by Emotional Literacy education. The second greatest request (33%) was the desire for emotional diagnosis of our kids before it was 'too late.' The third most prolific desire was to insure our kids are taught not to hate (18%). - Ayman Conclusion: There's no denying the impact that EQ is having in these many areas. If these separate 'movements' can be combined into a focused PROJECT, I believe we can make a very real, very profound difference in the world, permanently, from the inside out. --- 08:57 LI-EIN Marc Baisden Please read and then send me your thoughts publically or privately. It will assist me in my dissertation research. REMEMBER WHAT TREATMENT/COUNSELING IS TO BE ... more… REMEMBER WHAT TREATMENT/COUNSELING IS TO BE We are here to LISTEN Not to work MIRACLES. We are here to HELP people DISCOVER what they are FEELING. Not to make FEELINGS go away. We are here to HELP people IDENTIFY their OPTIONS Not to DECIDE for them what they should do. We are here to DISCUSS STEPS with people. Not to take the STEPS for them. We are here to HELP people DISCOVER their own STRENGTHS. . Not to RESCUE them and leave them still VULNERABLE. WE are here to HELP people DISCOVER THEY CAN DO IT THEMSELVES Not to take RESPONSIBILITY for them. WE are here to HELP PEOPLE LEARN TO CHOOSE Not to make it unnecessary for them to make DIFFICULT choices. WE ARE HERE TO PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR CHANGE! - Kenneth Sull commented on Can trust be rebuilt? How? When is it damaged beyond repair? "You measure Trust by your Actions towards others! I Trust Everyone! Trust can be repaired when you focus on others and not on yourself! ... "more… "You measure Trust by your Actions towards others! I Trust Everyone! Trust can be repaired when you focus on others and not on yourself! Our faith based approach is to support anyone and not worry about anything. Life is about this simple believe that Trust is part of our human experience and life will improve when we start to Trust in ourselves to accomplish what is best for our family and friends and the Clients we have served. - Gunnar H. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hi everyone, and thank you Josh for creating this group. I am here to share and to get input and inspiration in my growth. I believe the mind must bow to the heart in many situations to tap into the high form of intelligence we have and are capable of. For me in my work i see many new doors opening as i follow my intuition in many of may choices rather than just rational thinking. As this group focus on challenges and oppurtunities integrating the emotional intelligence in the work place im looking forward with excitement to be here, thank you. " - 09:19 Rosemary I hope you will join us, either way. but I hear you about the lacka-income... been there, done that. So, how about this... can you swing half of the half, or $99? I love how your focus is on helping people physically, and now emotionally, too, so we're on the same team that way, and I know you'll help us spread the good news about ND and EQ! Let's get you what you need now, and we'll join forces for our future. whatchathink? --- 09:27 Integral Immersion to Make a Better Future http://integrallife.com/integral-post/integral-immersion-make-better-future ---------- mcp --------- Leaders who make the future will have to be able to do things like flip dilemmas, organize social mobs, and constructively depolarize debates. the primal flip of leadership: from coping to transforming. there is no stand-apart self with its play-by-play commentary on the moment. There is only the moment. There is no calculating intelligence figuring how it will utilize the situation. There is only oneness with the situation. There is no striving nor worry, nor self to strive or be worried. the VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) is intensifying and virtually everything is becoming either impossible or possible, depending on the leader. Dr. Ginny Whitelaw is both a leadership expert and roshi (Zen master) in the Chozen-ji line of Rinzai Zen. She is the author of The Zen Leader, and founder of the Institute for Zen Leadership. She is also the President of Focus Leadership, and has taught and coached in global leadership programs for nearly 20 years. Formerly deputy manager for integrating NASA’s Space Station Program, she has a PhD in biophysics as well as a fifth degree black belt in Aikido. - full article I just returned from two days in the future. As part of my leadership work with a health care client, I joined them in visiting innovative disrupters in Silicon Valley, venture capital firms focused on the future in health care, as well as the remarkably accurate forecasting firm: Institute for the Future. Breathtaking. Mind boggling. And timely, as we start a new year, perhaps with resolve to realize a goal or bring about a desired future. My biggest takeaway from these days is that the VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) is intensifying and virtually everything is becoming either impossible or possible, depending on the leader. The impossibility is felt everywhere. A publishing executive, for example, shared with us a classic, strategy analysis of what’s going on in his industry. Between digital publishing, self-publishing, the Amazon giant, new entrants, people reading all they want off the Internet for free, one could conclude it’s completely hopeless. Or a hospital administrator shared that they’re being reimbursed (less all the time) for episodic sickness, as they’re being asked to move to ensuring the wellness of a population, for which no reimbursement is yet in place. So not only do they have to do more with less, but invest in ways that put the only business they’re being paid for out of business. In case after case, industry after industry, it’s easy to get in an impossible loop where you can’t get there from here. Yet the possibility is also felt everywhere. The very same publishing executive who showed us the seemingly hopeless strategy analysis went on to say, “This is the most exciting time to be in publishing since the invention of the printing press!” A leader in health care innovation said, “We’re really catching an important technology and social wave right now; it’s a great time to be in health care!” And all of us listening could feel their enthusiasm was genuine, their vision was clear, their plans were agile and sound: These were leaders creating the future, not waiting for it to happen to them. In his excellent book, Leaders Make the Future, Bob Johansen, distinguished Fellow with the Institute for the Future, forecasts the dominant trends over the next 10 years and the leadership skills needed to thrive in it. He aptly points out that traditional leadership skills will not be up to the task of taking advantage of VUCA forces. Rather, the leaders who make the future will have to be able to do things like flip dilemmas, organize social mobs, and constructively depolarize debates. They need to be Integral leaders who can transcend personal interest, empathize with others, and with nature itself. They need to be clear in their vision and agile on how to get there. Johansen further points out that “something more is needed than traditional approaches to leadership development and executive training” for leaders to learn and act like this. Rather they will need much richer immersion experiences to embody these skills, as well as low-risk opportunities to practice them. Even these two days of in-market immersion (impeccably organized by The Immersion Lab) showed how much more powerfully direct experience lands its learnings than would a lecture on the same topic. But even direct experience has its limits if we filter its learnings through misconceptions, false assumptions, and the blindspots of fear. The Center for Creative Leadership concluded in one of their studies that around half of the leaders, in fact, do not learn from their experience because they do not reflect upon it with a learning orientation. If we are caught up in ambition or needing to prove ourselves right, evidence to the contrary gets filtered out, and even small failures are treated as disasters to be disguised. Embodying skills of the sort Johansen prescribes is not a surface act, but rather deep work. It requires what I refer to in The Zen Leader as flips in consciousness – starting with the primal flip of leadership: from coping to transforming. Zen supports this journey as a profound immersion experience in its own right. Zen is sometimes described as pointing directly to the truth: the truth of oneness in differentiation, of differentiation in oneness, the truth of our own nature. As a child who grew up on “Think and Do” books and learned to practice both verbs with fervor, I found wading into Zen anti-intellectual and frustrating; everything I was good at became useless. I preferred the books about Zen and koan-ic phrases like “the truth of oneness in differentiation” to the physical pain of actually sitting still in Zazen, or the psychic boredom of reigning in my runaway mind (count the breath, one to ten…). But through this work, I came to see how I was using thought to separate myself from reality, rather than experiencing it raw through my senses. You might notice this for yourself if you’ve ever been watching a movie where you started to feel yourself swept away by emotion, and “talked yourself down” with thoughts that returned you to a more rational state, “Hey it’s just a movie!” I don’t say this is a bad practice, but it’s bad to buffer our experience through thought and not know we’re doing it. It makes us certain of things that are not so. It makes us mistake our thoughts about reality as reality itself. Someone once said we see things, not as they are, but as we are. If we want to see things clearly, we need to be clear. And that is the patient work of a Zen practice. Through sitting meditation (Zazen) and its companion forms of training (e.g., yoga, martial arts, bodywork), over time, we clear the pain from the body and boredom from the mind. We come to an acceptance of what life throws our way, and a creative willingness to work with what is. We’re open to a VUCA world. Now what future will we create as leaders in that world? Here is where Zen guides leadership still further in taking immersion to its ultimate state of Samadhi. This condition cannot be willed, but the conditions for it arising are cultivated through Zen training. In the full immersion of Samadhi, there is no stand-apart self with its play-by-play commentary on the moment. There is only the moment. There is no calculating intelligence figuring how it will utilize the situation. There is only oneness with the situation. There is no striving nor worry, nor self to strive or be worried. We might call this Integral immersion, where the boundaries of all quadrants disappear and only Now remains. And in this immersion into Now, where I and my team are not separate, where I and the needs of the world are not separate, where I and the future are not separate, every so often, insight arises. We translate it into thought, but it is not ordinary thought. It is the thought of no-thought. In some traditions we would call it inspiration from God, or the working of Spirit. In Zen, where we’ve learned a healthy distrust for our thoughts and words around such things, we may call it nothing at all. But suddenly, an idea with a good deal of energy behind it is flowing through us. Now what do we do!? The specifics will vary from idea to idea, from leader to leader. But we are where this idea will either take root or not. We are both the transforming agent and the agent transformed. To get a feel for the profundity of being the transforming agent in Now, you can download this exercise from The Zen Leader. As you immerse yourself in Now, you may start to see how events move through you, transformed by how you interact with them. If you have resolved to realize some goal or future this year, you might picture yourself some time in the future with this idea fully manifest and imagine what you are doing, how you are spending your time, and with whom you are interacting. To the extent that any of those images differ from now, they represent paths of transformation from here to there. When you exactly match the you of that future state (which may change along the way), that future will be exactly Now. From a Zen perspective, this is how leaders bring the future into the present. And while you’ll need many kinds of immersion experiences to make a better world, with every VUCA force on the rise, you’d be wise to go in disarmed to the teeth with a Zen practice. About the author: Dr. Ginny Whitelaw is a leadership expert and Zen master in the Chozen-ji line of Rinzai Zen. She is the author of The Zen Leader (www.thezenleader.com), President of Focus Leadership, and founder of the Institute for Zen Leadership (www.institutezenleadership.org). - www.focusleadership.com We believe leaders can use the pressure they face to accelerate their development, transform themselves, inspire others, and create a better world. We show them how. We are the developers of the FEBI, the only coaching tool that measures the 4 energy patterns, and enables whole leadership and authentic change from inside out. - Free FEBI Webinar: Energize Yourself, Energize Your Business with FEBI Join us February 12th at 11am Eastern US time for this lively and interactive webinar about the world renowned coaching tool, FEBI. CLICK HERE to register. Become FEBI Certified Help your clients and business grow with the FEBI - the only validated personality instrument that measures the patterns integrating mind and body. For more information, contact anthony@focusleadership.com. --- MCP Bio Matt Perelstein, and his wife, Paula, have been teaching intensive, small-group emotional intelligence and emotional healing workshops (right-brain EQ) for over 25 years. Matt has also been an computer programmer / consultant (left-brain IQ) for those same years. This combination of IQ and EQ has given him a unique perspective on incorporating both sides of our brains, and our lives, for extreme self-awareness. --- Jim R. commented on The results classic Marshmallow Test have been reinterpreted by new research. The original conclusion was that children could wait for a... "Good point. Recent research has found that introverted people have less resilience, that they are more sensitive to what's happening in ... "more… "Good point. Recent research has found that introverted people have less resilience, that they are more sensitive to what's happening in their environment than extroverted people are (we all know extroverts who are oblivious to visual cues of the bored listener such as checking his watch or looking around!). " --- downloaded new tri-fold brochure layout/template nice and simple, except it's wood grain pics, with blue-print-type drawings as background. Replace if possible. But it's a good tool for filling in the very, very few boxes, to whittle it all down. --- 12:23 I couldn't remember our home fax #(!), so I added an address block up top of this document. Sarah B. and Travis went Euc hunting, and bramble hunting, on the quad. Bella, too. --- (from ~ND_BrochureWording_21030127.txt) ND Brochure wording 6 panels 1. Inside Left 2. Inside Center 3. Inside Right 4. Front 5. Back 6. Page 2 Postage Paid drop it in the mail to a friend or someone you love or want to help out The power of the intensive group workshop 3 days will not solve every problem, possible benefits of immersing yourself in a 3-day intensive workshop Day 1 Know 3 Steps to Healing our Feelings 1. Know 2. Accept 3. Express Day 1: Know Create a safe enough environment that you can go inside, find your inner child, and get to know her or him. Who we are now, is a product of thousands of tiny decisions and experiences, plus some real Whopping traumatic events, along with the Decisions and Belief Systems (bs) that we create, in order to try to make some sense of the world. Know that feelings are ok. Know that people are gonna be there with you. you don't have to know how (yet), you just gotta allow it, and have the courage to face it, and blast thru it... we'll help you, and show you how. Know WHAT you feel. Be able to IDentify feelings... because sometimes they're tricky... you think you're angry, and hurt, but then you find out there's sadness, and fear, underneath it all. But the good news is that it's gonna be ok. They're all just feelings, and we know how to DEAL with feelings! Know that you feel. Know that you can feel, and it's ok. "Emotional Pain is NOT Terminal!" We'll get thru this... we always do. ...and sometimes (often) we feel more than one feeling at the very same time. We can be both sad, and angry, together. We can easily be happy, yet cautious (afraid), as well. Day 2: Acceptance You feel angry, you feel frightenetd, you're sad, you're guilty, you're happy, you're joyous, you're silly, you're sweet, you're a jerk, and you're you. accept it... all of it. You don't have to like it, and you can definitely want to CHANGE some of it... but still Accept it... all of it. all of you. Accepting our Feelings = Accepting Ourselves! If you know what you feel, you'll know who you are, what you want, and what's most important to you. It only takes a sec to accept. the time it takes for a thought, a decision, a new perspective, a new, heightened reality. be real. be honest, at least with yourself. if we don't ourselves, if we don't understand and accept ourselves, who's gonna? Who's running your life, while you're off telling yourself stories about how bad you have it. Who's in charge in your body? if you don't go back and discover/uncover/unpack/allow/release/heal some of your past, you can't really know yourself very well. do you realize what's there? It's the beauty and joy, and wonder, that little you USED TO HAVE! maybe your childhood was horribly painful, and dysfunctional (like so many people). or maybe it was just painful, without being very dysfunctional (like mine). it doesn't matter. the stories don't matter to us, not one bit, except to understand and appreciate who you are, what you've been thru, and how it felt/stuck/was experienced by you, big you, little you, we don't care. it's still you. as long as you're not actively lying/hostile/defensive/threatening to the group, we'll PROBABLY love you. We do this thing we call Instant Intimacy. when we meet you, boom, you're in... until you prove otherwise, you're in. you are now a life-long friend, for real, starting now... forever more. I/we have gobs of life-long friends. I love, and am loved, by a LOT of people (and I love that about this work). it's about love, for love, around love, because of love, creating love, teaching love, giving love, receiving love, and loving ourselves and our lives the entire time. EQ is Love. Love is EQ. I love EQ. EQ loves. EQRocks! denial, blame, victim, powerless, poor me... none of that helps. Power, clarity, intellectual AND emotional intelligence (IQ + EQ), balance, mastery, attraction, love are those who you are? (they sure are who I are!) :) Do day two Exercises Day 1 We introduce ourselves, give 3 purposes of the weekend and We share, from the heart, why we're here do this, helping out, digging in, cleaning out, opening up, connecting, crying, loving, living then You share, why are you here, how can we help, your goals for the weekend. Inner Child Visualization: We take you on a guided journey back, as far back as you can into your childhood, so you can experience what it was like for you, as a young child... how did you feel, how did you see the world., what your mom and dad were like get to know you, see the world through the child's eyes... once you see it his/her way, it makes your whole life make so much more Sense. of course, based on the child's experiences, of course you're afraid of men. or you feel you don't fit in, and will be rejected. or you're not worthy, feel less than, ashamed, dirty, broken. we can KNOW what that child went thru, you, what you decided about - who you are - how you fit into the world - your 'place' in your community/family/team Empathy is one of the top 3 most important EQ skills. and true Empathy starts with Self-Empathy! care about you, as a child, you're care about yourself. bash that kid with verbally abusive self-talk, and you will feel bad about yourself forever more. judge and blame and feel disgusted toward him/her/you, and nothing and no one can fill the hole, and people will give up trying to make you happy. BUT, cut the kid some slack... understand him, let him express, let him feel, and allow what his poor little body has been carrying around for 10-20-30-50 or more years, killing off parts of your body, heart, mind and soul. LET THE KID FEEL WHAT HE FEELS! Our job, as emotionally supportive adults, is to Make Space for the little child to feel, to truly FEEL, and release all the crap. To live, and breathe, and smile, and dance, and laugh. let go of "Feel and Release" the negatives (like Catch-and-Release in fishing), and Day 3: Expression Here we go. This is where "the rubber hits the road". It's time to dig in and get those feelings out. The exercise we do to help with this process is called The Statement of Direction. The Statement has been carefully designed to: - help you identify, separate and experience each emotion - show you that you can, in fact, control your emotions... actually manage is a better word. You FIND a feeling inside you, identify it, touch it, and then just ALLOW yourself to kinda fall into it. The good news is that it's a gentle fall, and you can catch yourself, and pull yourself back out of the feeling whenever you wish. The power, the freedom, the confidence that creates is often uncanny. People are like, "Wow, I had no idea I could let myself feel sad, or angry, and then just let it go, and off it goes. Feel it to heal it. Wanna feel better, feel worse, first. If we want to release the pain, we have to feel the pain, first, and then, once acknowledged and allowed, it kinda just goes away, all by itself. It's difficult to really feel, deep down, with the same intensity and depth, twice or thrice in a row. Once we feel something about something, we feel better about that something... it's kinda magical. Feelings want life, they want respect, they want acknowledgement, or they'll scream louder, and more often, until they take over and you have no choice. Our feelings are there FOR US. They teach us, they show us what we care most about, they have super valuable life-lessons contained inside them... if we'll just look, and listen, and allow, and understand. We don't have to go to the depths of despair over every issue we've ever had... but we do have to work thru the big ones. and really, I find nowadays that I want to dig in there. I want to learn from little Matt. He's been one of my best teachers, ever. He's my hero, and my mentor... I have learned so much from him... there's an honesty, and a glow about him, that I try to carry with me wherever I go. He had a very real smile, that I strive to reproduce whenever and wherever possible. I strive to be happy, to think happy thoughts and to feel happy, and joyful. I work with my belief systems (bs), and 'spin' them until they work best for me. If something goes wrong in my life, I figure out how I may have created that, and what/how I can do it different next time. I don't beat on me (like I used to), I actively encourage me, I like my thoughts (mostly) and my feelings (I find them fascinating). I like people and I seek out conversations, relationships and even life-long friendships... why not? I don't have anything better to do. So what is happy? joyful free peaceful serene confident solid hopeful grateful love power control ? those are all different, and all the same. they differ in that we can feel one without the other. they come from dif. thoughts, and belief systems. (insert Purposes of the Statement) Then we have folks, one-at-a-time, "do" the statement. you get a chance to feel, at your own unique 100%, each of the different feelings, in turn we help you, in fact, the group will be there for you, just you, to help you, to encourage you, to accept you, to have empathy for you and to love you... so you can begin to love yourself. - differentiate - manage/control - expand the acceptable limits of your emotions (which allow a fuller, richer, deeper, more colorful, more passionate life experience!) - allow, then let go of feelings (we call it the 'e-ticket' roller-coaster ride) - get a glimpse of a different side of you that you probably have never met - build a trust in yourself to manage your feelings better, leading to more trust, courage and self-esteem We like people. We like feelings. We like to experience our feelings, and we can relate and connect when other people dig in and express their feelings. We laugh in class, a lot. It helps. In fact, it's a feeling, we're about experiencing our feelings, so laughter, and happiness, and joy count, loads! we have a bumper sticker that says, "You're Taking This Life Thing Way Too Seriously". Knowing that we control our destiny.... knowing that I can make myself as happy as I want, or as miserable as I want, based on my thoughts, feelings and belief systems, gives me PERSONAL POWER, and a sense of CONTROL over my life that I've never felt before now. Taking control of our feelings = Taking Control of our Lives! Oh, and you don't need us to do any of this. you can do it all at home, by yourself, or in your car, or in a field, or wherever. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO DO EMOTIONAL HEALING WORK! - go back - imagine your childhood - relationships with dad, mom, g-parents, siblings, others - find the big events, the traumas, the huge disappointments, the abuse, the original abandonment - feel it. and feel it some more. deeper, to your core (it ain't fun, but it's gotta get done) - figure out what you DECIDED about life as a result of your pain. I am... I'm not... I don't fit in the world is dangerous men are not safe women are mean I am powerless, and less than, and dirty, and unable to get what I want and keep myself safe - notice that your life has been setup to Prove that these core decisions are right, correct, yep, for sure - do you still agree with them? Do you want to carry those around? or is it time to make new decisions, as a adult, not a traumatized child. - - Are you still living your life based on decisions made by you, as a traumatized child? - Do you need a super-safe place to feel, to dig deep and DUMP your childhood pain, anger, sadness, guilt, shame and depression? - Are you uninspired, dragging, hopeless, powerless or clueless? ND and EQ can help! EQ is Emotional Intelligence. You know about IQ, our left-brain intellectual knowledge that we learn in schools, and that's honored at home, right? Well, there's a whole other side to ourselves, a side that is usually ignored, or discounted... or worse, slammed shut, in fear of punishment, rejection and loss of control. It's our right-brain, creative, feelings-based, soft-side. We call it Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and it's a critical component to happiness, intimacy, success, passion, compassion, love and LIFE! Everything we do -- every behaviour, every action, every word we decide to say -- is based on at least one Thought, and at least one Feeling. We know about our thoughts (IQ), but we don't know squat about our Feelings (EQ). IMMERSE yourself in EQ for a weekend -- let us explain/model/show you how EQ works, and more importantly, how it feels! We'll go thru the main feelings, and let you experience them, on purpose, for practice (and for healing!), so you'll know a) YOU CAN HANDLE ANY FEELING your body decides to throw at you!, b) you are NOT alone, or whacko, or crazy just because you feel a lot... or are stuck in one feeling for a long time... it's JUST feelings, and we can handle those, c) you'll learn to identify, accept release importance of connection but starting with self-connection how to heal our inner child empathy starts with self-empathy love starts with self-love relationships start with our relationship with our inner child. communication skills are based on our skills in talking to/parenting/disciplining/understanding/abusing/encouraging OURSELVES. Learn How to: Feel Heal Deal as far as I know, ND is the most intensive EQ-immersion weekend available. Hard to believe we can learn all this in one weekend, but we can CERTAINLY get started! - EMOTIONAL MASTERY Know, without a doubt, that we can handle any feeling that comes our way... because it's "only" a feeling - EMOTIONAL RESPONSIBILITY Taking ownership of our own Thoughts, Feelings and (certainly our) Behaviours gives us PERSONAL POWER and puts us in Control of our own lives! - EMOTIONAL PROCESSING Experiencing our own core pain/anger/fear/whatever, and living thru it (!), and LETTING GO of it, and feeling the awesome Peace, and Power, and Joy that comes after, gives us a hope for life like none other. - EMOTIONAL LITERACY Learn a whole new Language of Feelings, "I" Messages, intimacy skills, communications skills (none of 'em are rocket science). we say it once, you try it, and boom, you'll want to communication that way for the rest of your days! - EMOTIONAL ACCEPTANCE Emotions have a such a bad rap (esp. anger), but once we know our own feelings, we can Accept them, allow them, manage them, learn from them, love them. And our feelings really ARE us, so loving and accepting our feelings is the first step toward self-love and self-acceptance (and self-esteem, and self-care, and self-parenting, and self-discipline, and self-management, and self-satisfaction, and...) - EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT We CAN manage our emotions. We CAN manage our Thoughts. And we sure as heck BETTER be able to manage our Behaviours. Want to survive, and thrive? Want to become all you can be? Want to live a full, successful, happy, loving, and loved life? Learn EQ. Note: You can learn EVERY single one of the skills we teach at ND elsewhere. You can read about them, you can ask someone with high EQ to explain the concepts to you, you can go to other workshops... just PLEASE learn EQ. At ND, we've been doing this for awhile, so we've got a pretty good handle on how to give you the most/best/most complete possible EQ training in just weekend. Also, we LOVE ND (and it shows), so the people there, the 20-50 assistants who come back to do more on themselves, and to BE THERE for you, the new student, LOVE what they do and who they are... they bring love, they show love, they model love, they give love. In fact, many who first come to ND are very low on the self-love meter... we feel shame, or guilt, or dirty, or less than, or all the above, based on what happened to us as a child... and of course, what we DECIDED about what happened to us as a child. Soooo, we, the pros, are willing to ACCEPT YOU just the way you are... even if you don't (yet). We will LOVE YOU, just the way you are... even if you don't (yet). We will ENCOURAGE YOU and Support You, and Guide You, and Hold your Hand, and Give you HUGS (we like hugs... a Lot)... even if you feel totally lost, or alone, or at the end of your rope. We KNOW what's on the other side, even if you can't see it yet. You can heal... quickly, gently, lovingly, sustainably... and once again, begin to love and accept YOURSELF. (sound good?) Read more on NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Even better, read/listen/watch some of the hundreds of ND graduate stories on: NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/testimonials Purposes of the Weekend: 1. Help you recognize how your present life is still being influenced by your past. 2. Allow you to release feelings and beliefs from the past that you would like to put behind you. 3. Enable you to take full responsibility for how you choose to live your life, from this day forward. Picture of Statement? or write out entire thing inside center, lower >> try it on paper >> show Left-brain honored, and right-brain disrespected, in one slide - It's more fun with others, and it gives a sense of connection, community, commaradarie and compassion that it truly awe-inspiring... but the reality is that YOU will be doing the work. You have all the tools you need inside of you, to make this happen, and to live a feeling-centered lifestyle from here on. In fact, you could decide RIGHT NOW, that you will give a new respect and honor to your own feelings, to know that our feelings really are US, and they are super-important to our continued success and health in life. We'll be here, if you want some help, but you really don't NEED us to feel... all you need is courage... and there's plenty of that, right? After care: This is a tough part, because it's mostly up to you. We offer as much as we can (and it's almost all free), but you have to reach out: - a super-loving and supportive support group on Facebook, for ND grads only - a bi-weekly support group phone call - online resources and social media connection via our websites, plus facebook, twitter, blog, email series of tips, quotes, lessons, research and more In Fresno, CA: - weekly in-person "Huge Group" therapy session run by Myron "Doc" Downing, Ph.D., LMFT - Doc is also available for in-person individual therapy for PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and Relationship issues Lasting Benefits of experiencing ND: -Discover a whole new world inside each of us, a deeper, richness that can improve, and lighten every single thing you say, do or are. - Experience Instant Intimacy, where we immediately Open Up to each other, on purpose, with eyes wide open, and others to support. that way we start to learn trust, belonging and There aren’t that many parts of life we actually have much power and control over. But, one of our biggest, and most important, is that we can effectively, wisely and powerfully MANAGE our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. ... and this includes our Attitudes, belief systems, value, judgments, complaints, pain, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, grief, depression, joy, passion, Peace and Serenity. Happiness is a Choice. we can be as Happy as we want, or as Miserable as we want, anytime, day or night, NO MATTER what is going on around/outside of us! No Matter What. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for over 20 years and he came out and wasn't even angry at them. "They know not what they do." was his attitude. pretty cool. a study researched a group of new Lottery winners of >$1M, and compared their level of Happiness, to a group of Quadraplegics... and they tied! It's ALL a matter of attitude. What drives our attitudes? what's behind, beneath, and all intertwined with our Attitudes? Our thoughts, and our feelings. and what's behind those?? our (often unconscious) Belief Systems (bs) that we have been developing since childhood (whether we know it or not, whether we like 'em or not, and, if they're unconscious to you, whether you even Agree with them or not). Babies come out with super-high EQ. They feel, they emote, they cleanse, and then they forget, there's no residual because of having not had their needs met. but then we grow up, and are socialized, and told/ridiculed/beaten/not told/without positive role models/figure-it-out-yourself, and keep-it-to-yourself/feelings are a BAD thing/don't air dirty laundry/FAMILY SECRETS/I'll give you something to cry about/fear-based/shame-based/should-based/dictatorship. and sh&t happens. Bad sh&t, sometimes. and there's bad, and there's really bad. So what's the kid supposed to DO with all those feelings? a. Her/his feelings weren't Ok BEFORE the trauma. b. Now, the feelings are HUGE, and they're STILL not Ok... so what do I DO with all this?!? answers a. they get stuffed. they get denied (even to myself). they get lied about. They get mixed up with other feelings. a lot of people even create this wall where they don't let others in... or they don't let themselves out... or both. some try to Disappear, and not stand out, and not rock the boat, and just get along... 'cause that's all we're worth, anyhow... some get pissed, and self-centered, and think the world owes them. addiction mentality. separate, every-man-for-himself, survive at all costs. what's your story? what do you tell yourself? What kinda person are you? Who are you? - The Who "Tell me who the f*** are you?!?" What do you believe in? What do you stand for? What are you about? What's your game? How do you roll? ... and who with? or alone? what we do in class, is try to re-connect with that little kid inside you. and We, as adults, help HIM/HER, as a kid, to Feel and Heal! We make the safe place, but the kid's doing the work. the adult's main jobs are to: - stay outta the way! - trust the kid - trust that it will be Ok. - create/manage a safe place for him to feel - allow others to help/be there/love/accept you, as you accept you, as a kid. One of the ultimate tests of EQ is... how well do you get along with your inner child? Does he trust you? Does he like you? Is he proud of you? Do you like him? Are you proud of him? (Look what he created!) it's about healing our selves, our own journey We, as adults, help our inner child, to feel and to heal. we, as the rest of your class, are here to support, encourage, guide and create a safe spsce so you, and your inner child, can feel, and heal, together. >> insert quote on safety --------------- mcp ------------------- Success is a learned Skill. Happiness is a learned skill. Teamwork, and Communications, and relationships, and empathy, and compassion, and joy (it turns out) are all LEARNED SKILLS! ---------- mcp ------------- “Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life!” - Danielle LaPorte - we know what we feel - get a good start on getting to know, like and understand your own feelings and emotions - discover parts of you that you have never met. - Resilience: heal the pain from your painful past, learn from the trauma, and be better off because of it. - discover a depth, and a passion, and a love, buried deep inside you, that you can pull out at any time - Experience empathy and compassion - Learn to differentiate what is your problem, and what is NOT your problem - Learn to differentiate what is in Control, and to let go of those things that are not. - Learn to adjust your heart, how open you are, to whom, and to better recognize motivations, feelings and actions of others - Identify, separate and process feelings, from negative to positive - Expand your life-long LIMITS that keep your feelings stuffed down inside (which is horrible for your body, both emotionally and physically) - Experience your own deep feeling, core power and true expression - Develop hope, and optimism, and a new fire for life - Garner a new appreciation, acceptance and understanding of feelings, your own and others, too. - Discover the freedom of having good, strong, healthy Boundaries, and the tools and power to uphold them. - Yes, it will wear off, if you don't continue the work after. it's uncomfortable work, I warn you now. it's not for everyone. Some feel safer continuing their non-feeling lifestyle, and that's ok. we say, "It ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done" "Emotional Pain is NOT Terminal... you WILL live thru it... and hopefully come out stronger on the other side." (shorter) - Empathy and Compassion - Discover another side of yourself - Start to like, and enjoy, your feelings - Activate your right-brain, as that's where life is! - some of the greatest lessons of life: - Happiness is a learned skill - Success is a learned skill - Joy is a learned skill - Empathy is a learned skill - Find your ability to open your heart to others, or not, it's totally your choice - You will make more sense, to you. - Others will make more sense, to you. - Feel too much negative (sadness, fear, shame, guilt, depression, anger), and not enough positive (peace, joy, power, serenity and love)? - Keep repeating the same unsuccessful behaviours, and you want to know why, and how to modify/change/stop it? - Feel stuck in a rut. - Want to heal, and release, hurt and pain from your past? - Want some powerful, effective, super-practical tools for handling yourself and your relationships with others? ND will give you the emotional tools to: - Let go of past pain and anger - Turn the traumas that have haunted you into powerful learning experiences - Fill up with joy, peace and serenity - Connect, create intimacy, share and open up (or not!) with your family and friends - Make new, healthy friends who support and encourage your happiness, growth and emotional well-being Leave the workshop with a new sense of who you are, how you became you, and how to accept, encourage and even love you AND your inner child, from here on. This is not an intro workshop, so we can sell you something bigger. This is it. This is all we do (so far). ND is about healing our past, LIVING FULLY in the present, and creating the BEST future we possibly can, together! To build, we need tools. The tools we use/teach/learn is called Emotional Intelligence (or EQ). There's IQ, our logical, book learning, left-brain that we did in school, and then there's EQ, our creative, feeling-based, passionate right-brain that is NOT taught in schools or at home. In fact, we're told NOT to feel, NOT to express, and NOT to listen to the powerful inner-voice that is us. So, we're trying to create balance -- Left-brain AND Right-brain, Thoughts AND Feelings, Knowledge AND Wisdom, Head AND Heart -- so we can make better life decisions, so we can happier, more successful, and more fulfilled, and so we can get along, create love, and joy, and relationships, so we can all live peacefully on our tiny planet. Learn a new language, as the basis for your new Emotional Toolbox: - Separate, Identify and Name specific feelings inside you (and others) so you can better deal with them, one-at-a-time - Navigate thru different feelings, not getting 'stuck' on any one, causing blockages and unhappiness - Speak the "Language of Feelings" (EQese? :) to fully speak your heart and mind, while listening, and truly hearing, others - The use of "I" messages (I feel, I want, I believe, I understand, I need, I appreciate, I am and I am not) to deepen your understanding and to get in less arguments (opinions are debatable, feelings are not) - Learn the 7 steps to 'processing' your negative feelings... uncover the root of an issue, learn from it, feel it, release it, replace it, and rejoice for your accomplishments - Understand how feelings and 'issues' are first created, what they're based up on, and what to "do" with them, once they've surfaced - Get to the Heart of the Matter We're not therapy, we're much faster! less words, more tears less $$, more joy all at once, not dragging it out for months less cognitive, more emotional less labeling, more loving less analysis, more hugs - • The healing power of emotional release. • Connect with super-loving people. • The emotional tools you need to take control of your own life. • Learn from and heal your past. • Completely confidential. • Satisfaction guarenteed. Rookies: First time students, $399, but $100 off with this brochure. Reviewers: Second, third, fourth-time students who need a boost, to dig deeper, fill up with love, $249 Assistants: Grads who come back to help and to practice and to love, FREE (forever!) we call it a lifetime membership to a mental health club! Quotes: - Never before had I been so aware of the feelings and the power they carried inside me (especially anger and sadness). - Patrick - The tears cut away at the rock and let me see who I am, and that I am all I need to be. - Garrick -"I can't stop telling everyone I know about ND!" - I am through being the victim! - Michele - EQRocks! - Matt - ND was the dif. between me being stuck in PTSD or being able to sleep at night without medication. - Larry, Vietnam veteran, 11/17/10 - Who goes to the workshop? - Women (about 70%) and men (yay!), from 14 - 91! - "Normal" people, who want more outta life. - Teens and young people with their whole life ahead of them - Couples and partners who want to "clean up" their past, so they can be close - Parents and children, to create understanding, acceptance and intimacy in their relationship - Divorced folks, who are in pain, and sick of it. - Students who are hungry to learn about life, love, laughter and longing - Folks with issues and ailments -- like co-dependency, addictions, PTSD, depression, anxiety and suicidal -- who are ready to get to the heart of the matter. - Pros -- social workers, therapists, doctors, lawyers, etc. -- who want to deal with personal matters in a small, confidential environment, and who want to learn a new way of relating and caregiving that works for all. - Foster parents and foster kids, court-ordered clients, ND Feb. 8, Fresno ND April 5, San Rafael ND July 19, Seattle Perelburgers, August, Flagstaff, AZ ND FB? Learn to heal your painful past, be present in life and love, and build the best future! Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) + Emotional Intelligence (EQ) = Whole-brain In a safe, loving, accepting, small group environment, unlock a whole new side of you--- >> BENEFITS, outcomes, less Losses, less pain relief, trauma Is your past ruining your present day? Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Are you feeling hopeful, or hopeless? Powerful or powerless? Do you feel flat, and uninspired? Learn how to make your feelings and emotions work FOR you, not against you! Emotional Intelligence (EQ), when added to all the things we already know (IQ), can change everything! We learn left-brain IQ in school, and at home, to prepare for the world of work and business. But, we miss learning critical, right-brain emotional skills (EQ) that can make all the difference in our happiness, success, relationships, love and life! In one intensive, immersion weekend, get introduced to a whole new side of yourself! Discover some of your core. Connect fully with yourself. Love, kindness and empathy all start with self-love, self-kindness and self-empathy, so we go back into our childhoods to reconnect with our own inner-child... to discover him/her, get to know them a bit, accept them (you) and have empathy for what they've been thru. This process creates a connection with your own heart,and soul, and acceptance of who and what you are, knowledge of your roots and beginnings, and the power to change it, modify it, adjust it so to let go of the negative and encourage/create/grow the positive sides of yourself. Most people who attend ND have self-esteem and deserving issues. We'll love and accept you, until you can do love and accept yourself. Trust us. We've been doing this for a long time, and it works. ------------------ HEADER: Let Go of your Pain, Anger and Depression ------------------ - old wording access your right-brain and your feelings, dump (some of) your past emotional baggage, and 'fill up' with hope, joy and a renewed passion for life! Never feel alone, again! Transform your Life! Learn how to: • Heal your painful past • Live fully in the present • Create the very best future we can make, together! “Never before had I been so aware of the feelings and the power they carried inside me (especially anger and sadness).” – Patrick “The tears cut away at the rock and let me see who I am, and that I am all I need to be.” - Garrick "I can't stop telling everyone I know about ND!" - Heather “I am through being the victim!” – Michele “EQRocks!” - Matt “ND was the dif. between me being stuck in PTSD or being able to sleep at night without medication.” - Larry, Vietnam veteran The Workshop Experience ND will give you the emotional tools to: ? Let go of past pain and anger ? Turn the traumas that have haunted you into powerful learning experiences ? Fill up with joy, peace and serenity ? Connect, create intimacy, share and open up (or not!) with your family and friends ? Make new, healthy friends who support and encourage your happiness, growth and emotional well-being Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) + Emotional Intelligence (EQ) = Whole-brain In a loving and confidential environment where you can have a life changing, emotional transformation. If we’re not in touch with our feelings, we’re missing our entire right-brain experience of life! With our right-brain fully active, we make better decisions, have more/closer friends, and live a calmer, happier life Every graduate is invited to our private, confidential Facebook support group where we connect, share, vent, and grow, together. --- --- like a good family, once you're in, you we try to act like a good family acts... when a new member of the family joins us, we welcome them in with open arms. If that doesn't go well, we are strong enough and wise enough to make adjustments... but until then, you're in, baby! You now belong. You are one of us, a part of the NDers, and more importantly, the world of EQers! EQ is taking off, all over the world. the University of Chicaco as an Instructor of the US just made legislation requiring SEL (EQ) in public grade schools. Google has __ the US Army just sent ALL ,000 drill seargents to 4-day Resiliency training put on the University of Pennsylvania but these efforts are not coordinated and focussed. I propose that we create an __ oversight agency provide resources this will Further the growth of our world, and create income at the same time. Metrics are scarce due to the newness of the industry, but the potential target market is astounding. I believe we have a unique opportunity, right now, to lead the world in the direction of EQ. We can coordinate efforts to teach our kids, train our business-people, show people how to work on a team, and be a valuable, productive, emotionally-safe member of society... and at the same time, create the income needed to sustain and grow. EQ is like magic, if used properly. It can be used very badly, too, but once people know How, they seem to Want to use it more. It just feel right (and we get awesome results!) if you become ruffled with every comment that you consider a 'slight,' you will never find peace. --- In this powerful workshop, learn how to: • Heal your painful Past • Live fully and authentically in the Present • Create the very best Future we can, together! --- Do You: • Feel your emotions control you, rather than you controlling them? Have difficulty with anger or expressing it when needed? • Carry around deep emotional pain from your past as a result of physical/ sexual abuse and/or trauma? Feel these events still control your emotions in the present day, even after attending therapy? • Find yourself in unhealthy relationships or choose emotionally/ physically abusive partners? • Repeat the same patterns of destructive behavior and don’t know why? • Struggle in your current relationship and feel lost for answers? • Suffer from depression, panic or anxiety? • Feel numb or emotionally flat-lined? Feel overwhelmed with life? Feel hopeless? Low self-esteem? • Have difficulty communicating your feelings without attack, blame, or judgment? • Look to other people or relationships for your happiness, and feel devastated when they leave? • Find yourself always care-taking others while ignoring your own needs? • Say yes when you mean “No?” – and don’t know how to communicate your feelings without getting angry or resentful? If you answered YES to any of these, we can Help you: • Recognize how your present life is still being influenced by past events and show you how to heal. • Release your pain/feelings & change your negative beliefs, conclusions & judgments of yourself & others. • Feel empowered to take full responsibility for how you choose to live your life in the future. • Learn the Seven Steps to Healthy Feelings. • Find healthier ways of dealing with anger & depression rather than taking it out on the wrong people – including yourself & others - without drugs, alcohol or self-injury. • Examine your role models, childhood beliefs, and defense mechanisms and how they work – and how they may no longer serve you as an adult. • Learn about “Emotional Intelligence” to enhance all your relationships, both personal (family/friends) and professional. • Learn to identify and overcome victim beliefs and self-defeating behaviors. • Begin to learn how to “Love Smart” in your significant relationships. • Realize your own “personal power!” --- “ND has made a tremendous impact upon my life, and continues to do so with each return visit!” ~ Jan J. “I've been to millions and millions of hours of therapy and I gotta tell you, I thought ND was fantastic -- one of the best experiences I've ever had!" ~ Maryl Millard, PhD “The most educational experience of my life!” ~ John Fisher, LCSW “It’s the best seminar of its type that I’ve ever taken in 40 years of working on myself. I highly recommend this introspective course to anyone who really wants to understand what makes them tick.” ~ Rev. Don D. “As a student I accomplished more in the 3-day New Directions experience than I had in 5 years of 'working on myself.' It truly gave me personal power and a new direction in my life!.” ~ Linda V. --- 7 Steps to Emotional Healing Awareness Appreciation Discovery FEEL IT! Release & Replace Redecide REJOICE! EMFB Trauma / Event + Decisions / Meanings (IQ) + Emotions / Feelings (EQ) = Behaviours / Action Issue as Adult (some conscious, some unconscious) unconscious becomes conscious by SUAL, to yourself(!) gotta 'get into feelings', first once we are able to access our feelings, we can learn sooo much about ourselves if we just ask ourselves, we can get a cognitive POV but if we 'get into our feelings', and then ask, we get life-changing information(!) Got issues? We gotta feel it to heal it! Choose. Emotionally void People who take ND (and changed!) - Emotionally Shut-down - Emotionally Flat - Emotionally IN PAIN! - Shame-based - Fear-based - Guilt monsters - Control Freaks - CoDependents - Addicts / Recovering Addicts - People in physical pain, who KNOW that it's partly emotional, too! We learn how to think in their schools. We learn how to feel in our school. A little book knowledge (leftBrain, IQ) gives permission for rightBrain EQ to feel/release/let go Weekend of Discovery - Find your love, again - Re-ignite your passion - Release your (biggest) pain and learn HOW to release pain so you can do it yourself, going forward - Enjoy your Joy! how? it's simple... just Feel and Release your sadness, anger and fear (this is NOT rocket science, it's simple, tho' not easy) IQ and EQ Left and Right-brain Educational AND transformational! Add EQ to IQ -- we can think too much, and feel too little Add IQ to EQ -- we can also feel too much, and think too little! Add Reason to Emotion Add Passion to Intellect Add Right-brain to Left-brain Add Affective to Cognitive ... opens an entire new realm of possibilities --- I'm good with the brochure using wording like maybe probably often possibly not you WILL you're gonna satisfaction gaurenteed? in 25 years, we've refunded 4 tuitions - By adding right-brain heart smarts (EQ) to our left-brain book smarts (IQ), we can: • Communicate and express ourselves fully, powerfully and authentically • Have closer, more satisfying relationships • Make better life decisions and stop repeating dysfunctional behaviours • Heal our painful childhood past • Live fully and authentically in the Present • Create the very best Future we can, together! We follow a simple, 3-step process 3 Steps to Emotional Healing 1. Awareness – knowing that we feel, what we feel, and how our feelings effect our decisions 2. Acceptance – Allowing and appreciating the lessons our feelings can teach us. 3. Action – Making clear, conscious, wise decisions whether to act, or not, by having all the information our body can give us: mental, physical and emotional. --- You will come out feeling MORE loving You will come out feeling Relieved, Rejuvinated, and ready to Rejoice! You'll be lighter, having released some of your backed-up baggage. Re-Image your Life! Release Rejoice Redecide Relive Rethink Reimage Rejuvinate Rediscover Retaliate (no!) Revenge (no!) Resurgance Reevaluate Redecision Retool Rekindle Reconnect ND gives you a life-do-over. "Who needs an MD, or a PhD, or an LMFT, when you have ND?!?" "Who needs an MD, when you have ND?!?" I was explaining ND to someone I met in SF, and she started getting excited about the possibilities of connecting her current physical pain with her past emotional wounds... and she said, laughing, ""Who needs an MD, when you have ND?!?" One of the very proudest accomplishments in my life is when I hear you guys say, "I'm so glad I have a safe place to go to work out my 'stuff'"! --- Ready to Transform your Life? Would you like to feel better, quickly (...and maybe permanently)? Is your life full of: - Anger - Fear - Depression and Disappointment - Shame or Guilt? Emotional Intelligence Training can Help! (a lot!) - From Coping to Transforming! Extreme self-awareness! This is way past your basic 'motivational seminar' -- this weekend is gaurenteed to blow your socks off -- it can open your heart, heal your pain and help you feel better than you've felt in years... maybe ever! It's both Educational and Transformational. We give you info, tools, skills and knowledge to fill up your mind, and we give you acceptance, hugs, safety and love to fill up your heart! Get the tools, skills, language, and the courage to use them! (EOF ~mcp_BrochureWording_20130127.txt) 1,300x lines --- 12:44 new brochure template doing the wording, with out the boundries/borders --- , orders Henry, banana leaves and blackberry bramble guess what kinda pets he has! start with Sarah Brahm? somebody gets just seeds, somebody gets only seeds. Melanie Ann Jackson - wait until March 1 combine 2 orders into 1, bigger branches --- IQ: Education Left-brain Knowledge Information Book Smarts Brain Cognitive Logical Reason Rules Structure Sequential processing Goals EQ: Transformation Right-brain Creativity Feelings/Emotions Heart smarts Wisdom Pictures/sounds/smells/tastes Random processing Power/peace/joy/love Imagination Dreams We need BOTH! IQ + EQ = __ IQ + EQ = __?__ >> post --- Linda Day called! 530-228-5693 c Paradise adopted grandson's anger --- PP = 3118, nice 4 new subs in 5 days... not bad, ey?!? ~$100/mo. total --- 7-9 26x orders with Travis and Sarah B. very fast, assembly line. I cut and completed boxes. Travis packed leaves I gave him. Sarah B. did sticks, and taped up boxes. all in a row, no wasted motion (well, not much). took 'em both home. $20/ea. stopped at McD's... where she got ME dinner ($1 McDouble)... but still. sarah drove up Simpson, loves my car! chatted with Tracy for awhile, and Bri. I still can't get anything 'done'. why do I ask for feedback, when I know I'm gonna get my feelings hurt, and the way worse, stop what I was doing. maybe I need to do it in a vacuum, with no feedback for awhile, until I'm all the way done. or something. Val's helped. Nykia's, not so sure. --- D-R App changed(!) http://drkfoundation.org/submit-a-proposal.html Submit a Proposal After filling out some basic information about your organization in our online process, you should attach two files (PDF preferred): a brief proposal and a resume of the founder(s). In no more than a 3 page proposal, please provide the following information: Impact •The mission and objectives of the organization. •Innovative solution description: A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan. Explain how your organization will improve on existing efforts and how your approach is systemic and unique. Be sure to describe existing programs and how yours will differ. •An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. Scale •An explanation of how the organization, over time, will be nationwide in the US or global (2 or more countries) in scale. •An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. Leader •Please attach a standard resume for the entrepreneur(s), not simply a text bio. Apply Now http://draperrichards.force.com/ --- on http://fresno.craigslist.org post search for study subject for a grad student education If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall learn what you have no taste or capacity for. The college, which should be a place of delightful labor, is made odious and unhealthy, and the young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to rally their jaded spirits. I would have the studies elective. Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge. The wise instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for himself. The marking is a system for schools, not for the college; for boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to put on a professor. Ralph Waldo Emerson --- pumpkin stuff(ish) and Payback, with Mel Gibson, not bad --- 1.28 00:05 One often calms one's grief by recounting it. - Pierre Cornelle (1606 - 1684) --- 00:29 I don't know... it doesn't bother me that much. I know it's a bit off topic, but as long as folks are respectful, which they have been, I don't have a problem with it. This has happened before, and it just dwindled out on its own. I never replied to your last email when you were saying how well 6Sec is doing, and how many people you've impacted... Congrats! I wish there was a way I could be more involved in your organization's spread of EQ, Josh. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: another religious debate From: Joshua Freedman Date: Sun, January 27, 2013 11:46 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt - I am thinking of closing this thread now: http://lnkd.in/EmfYTY Fortunately LI added a function where we can do that... what do you think - time? =:-) - J --- Nykia, Shane.celis@gmail.com Thanks, N. Hi Shane-meister! Replies: Here's the proposal template. I still want to use links, in-line (like the line above). These should serve as a bibliography. When I submit this, I plan to print out 3 very nice copies, on classy paper, bind 'em, and hand it to them in person. I have already applied for, and was granted, a grant for free EQ tests to be given before and after class... the SEI - Social-Emotional Intelligence assessment, which I am certifed to administer and debrief... I just haven't gotten my act together enough to make it happen. (wanna help, or help guide me how to pull this off? we need a grad student to use us as the subject of their thesis!) I just looked on fresno.craigslist.org, but it's totally corrupted with ads. Good idea about the survey... but not until this document is done and submitted. Thanks again. - Matt --- 00:51 Untamed Heart g'night. pause, in bed, with 3 doggies! --- 07:55 up Robin (skype) IMS email, goals, not much else End of The Bourne Supremacy 09:41 "You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." - Henry Drummond --- 09:51 Euc testimonial (sorta) ha... well, actually Brenda, I heard of a customer before who did the exact same thing... over 2 years old... and they said they looked/seemed Exactly the same as when she put them in, so she went ahead with them! I don't know if they would be tainted in any way, but it seems like freezing just puts them in suspended animation... so it's your call. Next time you order, remind me, and I'll give you some extra! let me know what you decide... - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Leaves From: edcar88@aol.com Date: Mon, January 28, 2013 3:46 am To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Good Morning Matt, I was wondering...I found a Ziploc bag of Euc. leaves I purchasrd from you about 1.5 yrs ago in my freezer. Will they still be good of should I toss them and get some fresh ones. I do not want to chance giving them if they could be bad. Thank You Brenda in CT --- Schedule Monday 11:00 - IMS Standup Shruti and I worked with Scott and Ken from Engineering to get the final Fact Reporting template correct and run. Working with jimmy on DAE1-2, both of which have issues I'm updating the Tracker, per Lakisha's request noon - Melinda call, EQRocks tonight - text Robin to remind about reviewing the ND Brochure Tuesday 10:00? - Lisa Rothstein call, ND 11:30 - IMS Validation Session ?? - Frank here to burn papers and to the Sports club to workout Wed. 10:30 - IMS Standup Thurs. 2:00 - IMS Validation Session Friday 10:30 - IMS Standup --- 10:53 Stepping Stones entertainment helping parents and grandparents studies violence: increases aggressive B, and reduce empathy for human suffering children are exposed to 12,000 acts of violence each year esp. by a hero more likely to strike out sexual content: in 64% of all con twice as likely to initiate sexual acts, and teen pregnancy mindless entertainment, like SpongeBob other 30% deprive development in brain movies they provide Beautiful Dreamer - WWII pilot, he doesn't remember her Safe Harbor - elderly sacrificed trip to help teens give these a try $12.95 ea, - $5 for survey, $26.85 --- 11:50 LI-EIN Can trust be rebuilt? How? When is it damaged beyond repair? The reality is that trust is 'damaged beyond repair', whenever you/we decide it is! We may choose to 'forgive', work it out with the person/organization/group, and try again... or we may decide it's been broken too much, or too many times, and cut off our trust...it's up to us (another awesome EQ skill, btw). The other thing is that trust is not a yay or nay proposition. We can trust some, and mis-trust some... and we can trust completely in some areas, and not trust much at all in others. "Trust, and Verify" - Ronald Reagan --- 11:58 FB-NDG in response to pic, "Don't Look Back, You're not Going that Way" mmm.. well... since the Point of ND is to look back, I'm not sure I agree with this (no offense, Rosemary). I think we very much need to look back, at least sometimes -- to learn who we are, what we decided, how we got where we are today -- and to fix/change/modify/heal the parts of our past that ain't working for us, no mo'. Granted, we're not 'going that way', but if we don't resolve our underlying/unconscious/core belief systems (bs), the way we're 'going' may not actually be the way we are CHOOSING to go! right? --- noon, Melinda Janicki EQRocks.com Stories by subject more impactful image (organic) headline ex: EQ changed my life think differently depression anger suicide anxiety love top 5 solution-based fax >> send her the layout I was thinking of! solution-based selling --- Be yourself Accept yourself Value yourself Forgive yourself Bless yourself Express yourself Trust yourself Love yourself Empower yourself --- 12:44 FB-Karen Mabry oh my... 50 hours/week for work, AND deal with your physical pain... yikes! I could sure understand if you can't make it to class... or perhaps you could part time. You'd surely be missed, but still... you gotta live, too. Paula will be back this Frdiay, so yes, she'll be at class. I would LOVE to see you review, or at least take some time to process some of your pain. You're SUCH a good student, easy to work with, and perfectly willing to feel, and release, the crappola. How can I/we help? --- 1:14 "Emotional intelligence is transformational -- for businesses, schools, and individuals." - Joshua Freeman, COO, 6 Seconds --- Intelligence vs. Wisdom Intelligence, you are born with Wisdom, born from experience --- 2:24 LI-EIN Intelligence vs. Wisdom Yes @Nancy, I agree that we choose wisdom here, but society rewards intellectual intelligence. In fact, intellect (left-brain IQ) is predominately taught in our schools, and encouraged/allowed in our homes... while emotional intelligence (right-brain EQ) has been mostly ignored, misunderstood, and even punished. IQ + EQ = Wisdom, Success and Happiness! --- to town, with Bella USPS Rite Aid Chamber VMC Down Home Foods Coast Cinemas --- 6:25 Kevin S. commented on "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? "@ John - I think you may have misunderstood me... When I said "To date, no one has proven or dis-proven a god/God like entity" I mean incontrovertible evidence that scientists, lawyers, politicians, agnostics, atheists, etc. would accept. I generally do not speak about my beliefs as I have felt it to be more of a personal thing to me, but I for one am a believer. I too have a child and though our family has never been through the type of experience that you have I still consider this addition to our family as a blessing every day. One day, when much younger and in state of depression, I prayed and asked if my goals in life (simple by many standards: a home, a decent job, a good woman to share my life with, and a child) were too much to ask for, and to my surprise I heard in my mind and soul a response. It was a simple and immediate response of "No!" It was not my own thought, it was not that familiar sound/feeling one has in their mind of a personal thought, it was a voice & feeling of a higher power. True, not a deep discussion with God, but it was my own personal experience and it has given me the strength and patience to wait for these to come to me in their own time. I see the beauty of the world around us, the elegance of the wide Universe, and the fact that life exists forming out of the basic elements as proof, to me at least, in a higher power. Others will disagree or even argue these points, but I believe in a person's right to believe as they so choose, as long as I am free to do likewise, and as long as those beliefs cause no harm to others. --- 9:04 “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” - Stephen R. Covey --- A miracle is a preferable experience coupled with a perceptual inability to understand its cause. --- ..We Are in a Mental Health Crisis! Our Kids Need "Our" Help! Canada Mental Health - EmpowerOntario http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5JGvH44quU&feature=youtu.be begin in childhood or adolescence 1-in-5 Canadians 20% on mental health bullying, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, addictions facing these crisis, alone 5 people who committed suicide after being bullied proposing an addition to the core curriculum in all high schools properly prepped, in both social and emotional intelligence not a cure for mental illness, a course that will empower students and give them basic tools for daily living. arena for discussion thoughts, feelings and emotions relating to everyday, real issues "Flourish", Dr. Martin Seligman positive education you can Teach well-being to young people questions what do you want most for your children? happiness, confidence, fulfillment, balance, help what do you want most for yourself? achievement, success, thinking skills, math, work, discipline (almost no overlap between the two lists) what are schools actually teaching? only how to succeed in the workplace can successfully teach both without compromising either. you step out of high school and into life more knowledge than wisdom high academic marks but few life skills half or full-year mandatory course devoted on discussions about real issues statistics and skills in positive psychology The proposed course would teach empowerment and self-coaching skills: - How to shift your thoughts and choose positivity. - How to accept imperfection and feel worthy and good enough - How to develop empathy, sensitivity and mindfulness - How to let go of judgement and labels - How to communicate compassionately and effectively (important that all students take the course, so no one will be stigmatized) language, art, PE career and civics are now mandatory SEL should be, too! anti-bullying legislation build upon existing empowerment workshops develop course have done pilot projects --- 9:34 FB-EIN (post) Here's a passionate plea to add SEL/EQ training as required core curriculum in all high schools. Five more Canadian teens commit suicide after being bullied. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5JGvH44quU --- - EMOTIONAL ACCEPTANCE - EMOTIONAL RESPONSIBILITY - EMOTIONAL PROCESSING - EMOTIONAL LITERACY - EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT - EMOTIONAL MASTERY --- 10:03 Robin Yeah, thanks, I've been messing with the formatting... I'll get it cleaner, or hire it done (cheap). It's the wording that I'm still not crazy about... especially the bigger, headings/headlines. How would get someone's attention (including guys) about EQ in a short headline, like a bumper sticker? Wanna feel better, quickly (and maybe permanently)? Happiness is a Choice. So is misery. Take your pick! Ready to Transform your life? IQ + EQ = LOL !! Get a Clue, Get a Grip, Get a Life! ?? --- 10:14 FB-NDG (post) So, Paula's in Seattle for a week, caring for her sister's hub, and I've been working on a new ND Brochure to spread the GOOD NEWS about EQ. Still needs work, but attached is the latest version. It's a .PDF, with live links, so you can either email it to folks or print it and hand it to 'em, as you explain what it did for you. Feedback (and better wording) is always welcome! add file: NDBrochure.pdf --- 10:21 Hi Minty, Checking in again on LBL.. I've been doing more work for them, but not biling any hours during January. I only have 7 or so hours left, and I didn't want them to run out, if they're planning to add hours to the contract. Are they? What have you heard? As you know, I was no where near done with the original scope of work. Thanks. - Matt --- FB-IMs to: Jeannie White - no Jessica Hogan Linda V - yes! Linda Wall Cathleen Shauna - no Julie B Bruce Plait >>... keep going! 10:46 Linda Wall Hey sweetie... how are you?? As you know, we have class coming up on Feb. 8. Karen is having a hard time juggling everything so she probably won't be there the entire class. Can I get your help with some of her course manager duties? I appreciate your loyalty and I love having your smiling face at class! Hope you're well! - Matt --- text with PR she and Josh are on their way back from Santa Cruz, where Josh's bro Nick Oliver and his new wife live. They went to AMA Super-Cross in the Oakland Coliseum Sat night, and had a BLAST(!), then went to Holister SVRA bike trails. pause... --- 1.29 03:55 fear in the face of the fearsome is what makes the fearsome fearsome. True compassion recognizes that all the boundaries we perceive between ourselves and others are an illusion. If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. - David Carradine There are no mistakes, no coincidences; all events are blessings given to us to learn from. There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1926 - ) --- , Overdraft transfer move some from savings? Joint +296, Bal = 0 Savings, Bal = 1102 DU Bal = 204 Sew and Sew -373 From Account Joint Savings 9843 XXXXXX9843 (Avail. balance = $1,002.20) To Account Joint checking 0318 XXXXXX0318 (Avail. balance = $100.00) Scheduling One-Time - Send Now Send On 01/29/2013 Amount $100.00 Description To avoid overdraft transfers / mcp Descriptions appear for checking, savings, money market, market rate or brokerage accounts only. Confirmation Number ONLINE TRANSFER REF #IBE5DD7QCB --- GoDaddy says my card expired, but can't find it. Have Ad credits, tho! Ad Credit Partner Credit Amount Order ID Credit Status Credit Details - Facebook $50 163555537 Not Activated Out of Stock. You can check back shortly, or call 480-505-8877 for assistance. Activating credit, please wait. Activated 10/26/2009 Code: TXRM-PHE1-06NK-6EPV - Google $100 50451806 Activate Credit Not Activated --- LI-EIN Faith L. commented on Can trust be rebuilt? How? When is it damaged beyond repair? "I think there is an important distinction between TRUST and TRUSTING, that I spelled out some years ago: ... "more… "I think there is an important distinction between TRUST and TRUSTING, that I spelled out some years ago: In Trust We Trust (A BonBon) Trust is a delicate bond that ties people together. Trust is reciprocal, between equals. Each person has invested something of who they are in the relationship, in the other(s), in the circumstances they have shared. Trust requires each of them to trust and to strive to be trustworthy. Unfortunately, we tend to forget how important it is to be worthy of trust. Trust is not a right, it is achieved and sustained through sincere and caring endeavors. Trust is active, requiring frequent fresh efforts, watered with honesty and mutual respect. At the point that such efforts cease (by either or both), trust withers, sometimes past reviving. The presence of trust at the start of the relationship does not indicate that it continues. Trust rooted primarily in recollection may be showing that you can no longer trust, or that you trust in the passed tense (past tense). Trust thrives only in the present it happens now or not at all. Trust and trusting are not the same thing. Trusting is passive. It also is not rooted in equality. Whenever you are trusting you are dependent on the other’s performance. You have lost some of your power and are vulnerable. When trust has been broken, it must be rebuilt or it will surely die. Being trusting is never a satisfactory substitute. Small distinction? Maybe, but one is grounded in strength, and the other invites despair. One is whole, the other is fragmented. It is a distinction worth exploring and maintaining. - © Faith Lynella, 1996 from BonBons to Sweeten Your Daily Life " - Susan M. A. commented on "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? "Classic Psychology teaches us that there are two behavior modifiers: Positive reinforcement (pleasure) and negative reinforcement ... "more… "Classic Psychology teaches us that there are two behavior modifiers: Positive reinforcement (pleasure) and negative reinforcement (pain). The strongest single behavior modifier is pain, BUT the strongest OVERALL behavior modifier is a combination of both. Nature provides animals with the classic Fight or Flight response to stimulus which has been mathematically modelled in Catastrophe Theory. Most other (particularly undomesticated) animals know INSTINCTIVELY when to do which. Humans, unfortunately, have to TRY to CHOOSE WISELY. That is probably why so many humans have unwittingly earned "Darwin awards". --- PP = 2827 -21 IHOP Novato -58 GoDaddy, domain name auto-renewals -44 Matt and Jeff's Novato - me -45 Matt and Jeff's Novato - pkp -216 USPS +1 order, 17.95 (worst day in some time) (no subs after the 28th) --- TLD = Top Level Domains --- "Your past may have molded and shaped you, but it does not define you." - JC --- 06:05 Verizon tech support to STOP BackupAssistant from opening a webpage and telling me, OUT LOUD, to install it on my PC. Installing it on my PC (laptop). I never listened to it end. --- 6:57 EMDR therapy is a scientifically proven method for trauma recovery and releasing, leading to a healthier, productive you. Dr. Francine Shapiro wrote, "Getting Past Your Past: Taking Control of Your Life" which is a fantastic do-it-yourself method for reversing issues. The experience has enabled me to empower others to "realize that their past may have molded and shaped them, but it does not define them." The book also contributes to current wisdom on how to defuse and de-escalate clients who are having a panic attack. --- Getting past your past --- 08:10 When I was a trainer at Century 21, we had a piece we did on "de-hiring vs. firing". The premise was ... if you hire well (with clearly stated job description), do ongoing formative evaluation and education, and then get less than the hiring job description called for , you simply "de-hire" the person. --- 08:31 Marleaux Flornoy Hey dude, how'z it going?!? I just read your request, so I'm responding. Earthquakes, ey? I'm in healthcare data in SF. hope you and yours are happy and well! l8r t8r. - Matt --- 08:53 D-R resume mission - left-over wording: We can only base our decisions on information we are aware of. --- 10-10:30am Lisa Rothstein paid 2, owe $750 brochure free intro nights local invite to a webinar automated relationships FB ads (really good), brochure no travel come to a page, with video can be a slideshow video signup for a webinar mailing out again by niche, target caregivers brochure is old school much more convincing may need to hear it 2-3x PPT basics pick an audience you've tried... but... explain it why this is your problem why this isn't your fault no amount of therapy/drugs is gonna fix we're having the workshop here's what people have gotten here's what grads say in your local area, Feb. 8 1st day, 2nd day, 3rd day you'd expect to pay... once it's closed, 20x max, once it's closed, wait 3 mo. signup here don't say the dates in the audio just use a slide or just on page look below, find the upcoming... same webinar QR code on brochure postcard to invite to the webinar! if don't show up we're still having automated selfseminar, evergreen instantteleseminar slide shows, conf calls recording it's at... automated here are some of q's whats dif in ND than Tony Robbins use her account to create acct do it live, invite people, video of the webinar camtasia, screen capture do ppt with voiceover dates, underneath, copy to appear below half-way thru make a: ppt video webpage >> she'll be back in touch with a quote by end of this week --- 10:42 http://apurposefulbusiness.com/ditch-your-elevator-speech/ Talk to the five-year-old It’s been proven that meaning can most effectively be conveyed by tapping into the five-year-old in your clients and prospects through stories and conversations. Here’s how Kelly suggests we get that five-year-old to really “hear” our messages: The five-year-old likes to argue and reason, and uses words like “because”: When talking to people about what you do, can you explain “why” and “why not”? Do you use the word “because”? The five-year-old uses five to eight words in a sentence: Do you keep your ideas brief, and use short sentences? The five-year-old is interested in cause and effect: Can you talk about what you do in a way that explains, “If we do this, then this will happen, if we don’t do this, that will happen”? The five-year-old understands and uses comparative terms: What analogies can you use to help clients and prospects understand? The five-year-old enjoys creating and telling stories: Are you telling stories? Storytelling is one of the best ways to help people understand, retain, and repeat ideas. The five-year-old likes to use swear words: Are there disruptive ideas and language you can use to get attention? (Notice the word “disruptive” — I’m not suggesting you swear at people instead of using an elevator speech. But you might need to shake them up to get their attention.) Connecting with the five-year-old and making meaning when introducing yourself and your business just might help you start conversations — instead of talking at people — giving you the courage to keep moving in this direction. - 10 characteristics of a point of view 1. A point of view must be engaging It must evoke a response and start conversations rather than just informing. 2. A point of view must be true The more evidence to support your point of view, the greater your credibility. 3. A point of view must be relevant The more relevant to the audience, the more interested people will be. 4. A point of view must be genuine You must truly believe in the idea — there’s no faking it. 5. A point of view must be fresh No one wants to hear old ideas, but sometimes a non-original point of view can be framed and expressed in a new way to discover new insights. 6. A point of view must connect the dots Your point of view should connect somehow to your business vision or strategy — otherwise, it’s just talk. 7. A point of view must be memorable You’ll want your point of view to be easy to remember and stick in a person’s head. 8. A point of view must be “talk-able” You’ll want your point of view to be easy for people to talk about in their own words, and tell stories around. It should jump start two-way conversations. 9. A point of view must be “leggy” Your point of view should resonate with multiple audiences, and be able to be communicated through multiple communication channels. You’ll be using it to build marketing and promotion around, so it has to be flexible and have “legs.” 10. A point of view must be likeable People have to like talking about your point of view, or they won’t. Your point of view is in addition to your vision, mission, values, positioning, and other marketing elements you may use. - How to get great referrals http://www.marciahoeckbiz.com/referrals/ --- 11:08 Janie Monsalve Shogren 10:38am Jan 29 Wow Matt! You did a fabulous job putting all of the testimonials together with the Brochure. It was wonderful seeing and hearing from Joanne. I also listened to a job well done by Troy, Larry, Sharon, Christina, Joanne and Richard and I will eventually listen to all of them. They all gave wonderful and well deserved validation to you and Paula and the N. D. team. Good work, guy! If I was someone who did not know what the heck N.D. was, I would be quite impressed with your realistic and authentic way it was presented. No phony baloney, scripted, jargon.....just real people with real issues. Loved it ! --- IMS mtgs --- 12:04 Catherine Puglisi commented on Truth is subjective or objective, relative or absolute? "Hi Peter and Dr. Vetter ~ I find my search for the real truth is a fascinating journey. During the six trials of Jesus, mankind judged ... "more… "Hi Peter and Dr. Vetter ~ I find my search for the real truth is a fascinating journey. During the six trials of Jesus, mankind judged the truth(Jesus Christ) using lies and trickery. When faced by truth, mankind denies its existence…thus begins our search for the truth. I would like to quote fromhttp://www.gotquestions.org/what-is-truth.html: In defining truth, it is first helpful to note what truth is not: • Truth is not simply whatever works. This is the philosophy of pragmatism – an ends-vs.-means-type approach. In reality, lies can appear to “work,” but they are still lies and not the truth. • Truth is not simply what is coherent or understandable. A group of people can get together and form a conspiracy based on a set of falsehoods where they all agree to tell the same false story, but it does not make their presentation true. • Truth is not what makes people feel good. Unfortunately, bad news can be true. • Truth is not what the majority says is true. Fifty-one percent of a group can reach a wrong conclusion. • Truth is not what is comprehensive. A lengthy, detailed presentation can still result in a false conclusion. • Truth is not defined by what is intended. Good intentions can still be wrong. • Truth is not how we know; truth is what we know. • Truth is not simply what is believed. A lie believed is still a lie. • Truth is not what is publicly proved. A truth can be privately known (for example, the location of buried treasure). From a philosophical perspective, there are three simple ways to define truth: 1. Truth is that which corresponds to reality. 2. Truth is that which matches its object. 3. Truth is simply telling it like it is. Sincerely, Catherine P. --- 12:22 Redefining Happiness http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2013/01/choices.html My life.... My Choices... ~ Folk Wisdom Our lives are defined by the choices we make. "I teach people that no matter what the situation is, no matter how chaotic, no matter how much drama is around you, you can heal by your presence if you just stay within your center." - Deepak Chopra --- 3-5 Fire with Frank and Nancy, burning their old tax / biz files nice chattin' and burnin'! --- 5:06 Hi Alan Cooper, I saw your post in the FB-EIN, and I'd love to see a copy of the EQ curriculum you used! Thanks for spreading the good news about EQ! - Matt --- 5:12 Julie B. sorry about the medical issues... we're having the same here (both my mom and Paula's mom have been diagnosed with Parkinson's, and Paula's sister's hub has massive cancer of the esophagus). Tough stuff, that we have so little control over. Sorry you can't make it... I knew it was a long shot... just hoping! Love you, miss you, mean it! bye. - me --- 5:40 Linda Wall Yay! Glad you're coming!! Congrats on the new kitchen. Linda Vermilya is coming to class, too, and she mentioned that she'd like to hook up with you to go together. See you soon. --- MS Office Watch It’s not the software – it’s the sale. Despite all the Microsoft hoopla, the main change in Office 2013 isn’t in the software – it’s in the way it is sold. That’s more important to Microsoft than customers. You can buy Office 2013 in a traditional retail box but you’d be crazy to do it. As we’ve already warned, the retail package seems to be the same price but it gives you much less. The retail package can only be installed on ONE computer and once activated can’t be moved to another computer later. The price has effectively doubled or more. Microsoft is heavily pushing the subscription model by making it much more flexible and economical than a straight purchase. If you assume that the annual subscription price doesn’t increase (and there’s no guarantee about that) then a subscription is the more economical route. From Microsoft’s point of view, subscriptions give it a more even cash flow and even more tightly link the customer with Microsoft and its services. That tighter link makes it harder for you to change to a rival and harder for rivals to enter the office suite market. Buying by subscription also means a different installation system ‘Click to Run’ which is good despite Microsoft’s unneeded exaggerations. However this is the first truly large scale deployment of Click to Run and so many people would be rightly staying on the sidelines while others are the guinea pigs. --- ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ was meant as a serious message to the British people to be distributed if the Nazi’s invaded. It’s become the starting point for endless spinoffs which you can make yourself with ‘Keep Calm with Microsoft Office’. --- Tuesday's now gone... half way thru my week. ouch. --- pause (thot I'd slept all night, but it's only 10... yay) (now I HAVE all night!) --- 10:50 "The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?" --- pkp called to say goodnight Joe's healing, but they didn't get it all with surgery. he had done chemo and radiation... then the major surgery... and now they're testing his heart to see if he can handle MORE chemo. not good. rough day there. 11:21 Hi Don, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack --thanks. I'm sorry about any dried out leaves you received... I'll make sure you get only the freshest leaves this time! Your order should go out tomorrow, with seeds and instructions. Thanks again for trying again. Enjoy! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Alan Cooper Oh, I forgot to mention that we have some very close friends who also teach EQ, and who live in Wanganui! You don't happen to know Steve and Cheryl Nolan, do you? I've been there too... NZ is wonderful! --- 11:29 The Johari Window is a great tool to use to undersand self awareness. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain --- D-R Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology TED: http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html subjective Dr. Seligman calls 'fuzzy concepts' how do you test for what did NOT happen... people did NOT positive psychology 3 aims - just as concerned with human strength as weakness not just repairing damage genius and high talent we can measure dif. forms of happiness authentichappiness.com positive emotion, meaning, flow opposite of the DSM-IV discover the causation of the positive state left-hemisphere activity extremely miserable people vs. extremely happy people not better looking, not Extremely social rich repetoir of friends bulliance, giggling and good cheer 120 positive interventions to make people happier efficacy and engagement studies mission of psychology should be, in addition to make people happier happy is not a word I use much 3 dif. areas of 'Happiness' - Pleasant positive emotions - Engagement work, parenting, love, leisure - Meaningful life - Pleasant positive emotions learning skills to amplify them - mindfulness drawback 15-20% tricks habituates rapidly - Engagement work, parenting, love, leisure 1: work, 2: leisure, 3: love positive affectivity, 50% the hell of unhappiness flow, dif. than pleasure raw feeling during flow, you can't feel anything, time stops, intense concentration, the good life... there's a recipe for it what are your highest strengths re-crafting your life, your friendships, your family, to use them as much as possible not smilieness, absorption eudinonian flow - Meaning belong to, and in the service, of something larger than you are. are there things that lastingly change those lives? Yes rigourous manner, like drug testing placebo controlled, random take the mindfulness skills to design a beautiful day next Saturday you savoring the mindfullness of enjoying those pleasures Gratitude visit close eyes remember something who did something enormously important, that you haven't properly thanked write a 300-word testimonial to that person, read it to them personnally test, a month Strength Date design an evening in which they both use their highest strength Fun vs. Philantropy haven't discovered do something altruistic - lasts! vs. something fun, square wave, doesn't last! Life satisfaction, target variable how much? asked, 15 replications, thousands of pursuit of pleasant, meaning, pleasure meaning, strongest engagement, also strong if you have meaning and engagement, and includes pleasure if none of 3, physical health, productivity, longevity is productivity a function of these 3? Yes speakers stretch beyond themselves physcology technology, entertainment and design can be used to relieve misery dif. than if I was good enough to get them Not depressed, they'd be happy best was to get to zero but skills of happiness are dif. than the skills of relieving misery technology, entertainment and design it is possible for these 3 drivers of our world to Increase Happiness once fractionated can be used to increase 11th reason for optimism technology, entertainment and design we can actually increase human happiness on the planet increase the 3 entertainment design can increase --- 1.30 2 pumpkin stuffs (less sugar, no cloves, less e-milk, no cooking, no crust) about 10 poops in last few days (feels kinda yucky, tummy-wise, but so glad to be dumping!) good thing I got to stay home, ey? 00:19 Dr. Seligman's positive psychology - technology, entertainment and design http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html where do I fit into all this? coordinate? big picture of healing AND training Purpose: Heal our past, live fully in the present, design and create the best possible future we can, together! ND is about: - Basic Emotional Literacy training - Expanded, and acceptance of feelings - 5 Goals for the Weekend: - Introduce you to unexplored beauty of your right-brain - Enhance your view of feelings and emotions, not only as a good, positive area of your life, but as one of the most critical areas of life to explore, learn from and pay attention to. - Expand the limits of your feelings, to break-through some of your limiting beliefs and compressed feelings, giving relief, freedom and additional emotional choices - Learn, and practice, basic emotional skills, language and concepts (like "Guilt is Optional", and "Depression is Anger Turned Inward") - Experience deep personal connections with safe, like-minded people - Release some emotional baggage from your past, toward making negative trauma and painful experiences into learning, growth and strength-building life events - Help you recognize how your present life is still being influenced by your past. - Understand how thoughts, feelings, belief systems and behaviours are created 2. Allow you to release feelings and beliefs from the past that you would like to put behind you. 3. Enable you to take full responsibility for how you choose to live your life, from this day forward. - Replace negative self-judgment with positive self-esteem - Know that every issue is 'just a feeling', and 'we can handle feelings', providing a sense of solidness, self-knowing, hope, grounded, connected, - The core experience of feeling NOT ALONE, at least for a bit. - Discover the magic of the human connection -- total emotional safety and positive support -- allowing an honesty, and release, and relief, unparalleled in normal daily experiences. - if we release the pain, do we 'automagically' feel better? yes and no. yes, relief, expansion, acknowledgement, discovery, root, explanation, validation, connection with inner child no, if we don't change the belief systems, it's gonna continue Benefits of Emotional healing work: - Awareness! - Discovery - Expansion - Understanding - Appreciation - Connection - Remove blocks to intimacy - Relief! - Empowerment - remove underlying pain/anger - Brighten - Lighten - Enhance - Expand - Enjoy - Enliven - Specify (not ALL men are bad, but some men can do very bad things) - Identify - Codify - Self-esteem - Self-trust - Self-confidence - Prioritization - Instigation - Implementation ND Workshops EQ Healing: We gotta feel it to heal it. 2GetHelp, Inc. (501c3 non-profit) Global EQ: Changing the world from the inside out. --- 01:16 Hi Ayman. I've read your posts lately about the violence and EQ being the Antidote! Love that word... 'cause it's True! The pisser is that (so far), we are about the only ones jumping up and down about this! Actually, that's not so true anymore... more and more folks are releasing the almost 'magical' powers and results that EQ can offer. I believe EQ will be one of the Hottest industries in the next few years... and we are gonna ride this wave! woohoo... what's happenin' with feel.org? I have a request, tho, too... when you post, please don't say anything negative about Emotional Healing. You said before that you've seen shifty people 'selling' and not being real... and I get that... but I gotta tell you... EQ has phenomenal, almost Magical healing powers!! That's one of the areas that I actually know more about than you guys, so you've never experienced what's possible with core emotional EQ work. I have seen semi-miraculous turn-arounds... from severe depression, anxiety and PTSD to not-so-much, from suicidal to not-so-much (in fact, quite the opposite... lovin' life, getting married, going to school, getting promoted kinda stuff), from trashed relationships to intense love, passion and compassion. THAT's what I'm jumping up and down about! I might sound like an idiot sometimes, but I've been doing this consistently for 25 years, and it happens to be quite true that... EQ heals. EQ saves. EQRocks! see: so, what's next? What I'd like us to do is to LEAD the industry. The three of us are in a unique position, right now, to grab up the reins and run with this thing. There is sooo much happenin' and/or starting to happen, that we could be instrumental in COORDINATING EQ, world-wide! we could be a resource for all things EQ. we could have an emotional support site, and an emotional training/university site we could have EQ news then break it by the many areas that EQ effects: - EQ in schools - EQ in business - EQ for families - EQ at work - EQ for sales - EQ for relationships - EQ for success - EQ for healing - EQ in the military - EQ in therapy - EQ for happiness - EQ for love - EQ for depression - EQ vs. IQ - EQ + IQ = LOL !! - EQ for entertainment - EQ for fun - EQ for laughs - EQ for stress - EQ for anxiety - EQ for guilt - EQ for shame - EQ for anger - EQ for joy - EQ for peace - EQ for serenity - EQ for mental health - EQ for life! D-R / 2GH It's not just aboue Healing... that's for the past and the present it's also about Replacing, Choosing, Creating and Living skills processing negative emotions replace negative self-judgment with positive self-esteem --- LI-EIN (has ~44kx) I agree with Ray that's it's a good idea to start with the teachers, and let them do what they do best, but with more and better EQ tools! In fact, that's the same process the US Army is using to spread EQ throughout the troops. Rather than try to train the 1.1M soldiers specifically, Dr. Martin Seligman at the Univ. of Pennsylvania taught a 4-day intensive on building resilience and turning PTSD into PTG (post-traumatic growth, an awesome EQ skill!) to all 45,000 Army drill seargeants, in a trickle down effect. http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html EQRocks! Please sign the petition at http://www.Feel.org. "Flourish", Dr. Martin Seligman --- ------------ mcp ------------ Rich Ruhmann • Extraordinary idea. That's where it has to start. Most of the Executives that I coach are dealing with impulse control and lack of empathy that can be traced, by their own assessment, to their formative years. --- State of Psychology good, not good, not enough! http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html - His theory of 'learned helplessness' is popular among scientific and clinical psychologists. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Seligman Post-Traumatic Growth in The New York Times Magazine On March 22, 2012, The New York Times Magazine published an article by Jim Rendon about post-traumatic growth and the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program. Click here to read about the “surprisingly positive flip side” to post-traumatic stress http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/magazine/post-traumatic-stresss-surprisingly-positive-flip-side.html - Because we get to Choose, we get to heal, we get to release, we get to change our bs, we get to mold ourselves, we get to create the future how we want it to look and feel (mostly feel), we get to choose our relationships, we get to choose who and how much we love, we get to enjoy ourselves a lot more, we get to make stuff happen in our lives like never before, we get to connect, and learn, and grow, together. - I'm happy to say that I can almost type as fast as I think this stuff. not quite, but almost. ha. - 01:45 been sitting at the kitchen counter for the last 4 days... most of the days, and some of the nights the hard part is that it's about 2' from the fridge IN the Kitchen... yikes but I'm also facing the tv... which is mega-nice, and also super-distracting muted radio on right now, bouncing slowly back and forth phone plugged in, leaning against small brown lamp from front window, flash drive, remote, house phone, order label sheet (full) and pen from garage, water bottle, 1 printed/1 hand-written draft of the ND brochure, a toothpick, a pencil (for the small notebook(s) I use for CostCo, S/W, Wal*Mart lists), a paper towel (semi-used, of course), 3 doggies, 2 cats, christmas santas lit up, tv, and blue tree in window, heater turned up to 66 (but still just put on my wonderful new K-Mart sweatshirt/jacket). oh, and I'm sitting on one of the most UNComfortable bar stools known to man! my back hurts, by butt hurts, my feet hurt, good grief. but it's the only way I know to work here... and it's super-comfortable to work with the laptop on the corner of the counter here so deal with it. be relient --- 01:48 see, typed all that, pretty slowly, in 3 min. cool. that's why this, my 7.1.2012 - 1.30.13 (today, or date()) file, is now: 62,241 lines long... on full screen(!) Split1 ~mcp.txt 5.892Mb 135k lines ~mcp_.txt 6.680Mb 184k (full size) Split 2 ~mcp.txt 2.049Mb 62k lines 7.1.2012 - (present) ~mcp_.txt 6.680Mb 339k (full size) 4.23.2004 - 6.30.2012 --- >> post to FB-NDG We went up to West Point and we asked, how many of you are aware of post traumatic stress disorder? And 97%. And how many of you are aware of post traumatic growth? It was about 10%. And the reason that's very important is that it's self-fulfilling in the following way. So it just isn't depression. If the only thing you know about is post traumatic stress disorder and you have some awful event, and the next day you burst into tears, you're going to think, I'm going under. I've got post dramatic stress disorder. And what that does is worsen the symptoms, which are symptoms of anxiety and depression. Which in turn, makes you think even more certainly that you're going under, which worsens the symptoms. If, on the other hand, you have just a little bit of medical literacy and you know that crying and mourning and feeling very down are typical, normal reactions to being fired, to combat, and that the usual response is resilience and sometimes growth, that stops the downward spiral. So it's very important for people to know that the normal response to very bad things is not going under. It's not post traumatic stress disorder. It's resilience and not infrequently, growth. --- Ie8 virus adds hyperlinks --- I have a bit of heart-burn I don't think I'll ever feel, or think of heartburn without thinking of Joe I never knew even knew what it was, until I felt it, since I've known him yikes --- IMS Standup report We had some technical questions which Jimmy asked NCQA since getting the answer, I've been working on 'em since yesterday DAE1 went from one of the simplest measures to one of the more complicated I've worked on. so, I hope to make some good progress today, and if I get stuck, we have a validation session tomorrow. --- IMS Standup report We had some technical questions which Jimmy asked NCQA since getting the answer, I've been working on 'em since yesterday DAE1 went from one of the simplest measures to one of the more complicated I've worked on. so, I hope to make some good progress today, and if I get stuck, we have a validation session tomorrow. --- sarah b. wanted coffee when she stayed over the other day, Sun. morning, so I made a pot. however, she only wanted a cup... in fact, didn't even finish one... and I made an entire pot, like I usually do. soooo, now there's an entire pot sitting there... 3 days old. >> if no one drinks it today (NVDL), then I'll dump it tomorrow and wash the pot, again. --- One of the best things we can do for a kid's (or anyone's) self-esteem -- Enjoy them! - mcp --- D-R add some anger, some urgency, a bit of drama. yes, I can add some feeling words, very carefully, but still... it's feelings we're talking about, it's ok to use feelings in our language. ... and it's mostly men! >> stats re: men, prisoners, suicides, DV/SA, addictions, senseless school shootings, and many, I'm sad to say, are American men. it's NOT ok what's happening the shooters are all MEN, white men gone wacko. and what's up with the... let's kill-a-bunch-of-people-and-then-ourselves, murder-suicide concept? why? what's the point of that? what's did you accomplish? >> (read up on it, to use some wording/concepts) we CAN help. We CAN change things. We CAN make a difference... quickly, profoundly, inexpensively, honestly and globally. "Flourish" - re: technology, entertainment and design >> get the book In-person, On-line, and By-Phone using technology to entertain, inform, connect and express design environment just talk, it records and sends audio reply, with transcript --- I collect EQ resources links, wording, videos, audio, books, ideas, lists... whatever --- consider this... Dr. Seligman describes 3 components of true, deep-down, lasting happiness: 1. Pleasure - feel good, pleasant, fun, laughing, bodily sensations, enjoyment 2. Engagement - connection, intimacy, parenting, love, work, leisure, social involvement 3. Meaning - belonging to, and provide work in the service of, a cause, a group, a mission, something larger than you, that matters. ND can provide all 3! - Matt --- NDers use this highly technical jargon a lot, "It's ok" I feel depressed today, but it's ok. boy, I got angry yesterday, and it's ok. I'm feeling some sadness about ..., and it's ok. 'But' means to ignore what I just said, here's what I really mean... I love you, but I'm angry with you. 'And' means both are true, both exist, both, together... I love you and I'm angry with you. This too shall pass. Sit with the feelings. Allow it. Sit in it. Don't fight it... just accept it. so, when, as a child/teen/young adult did I feel this feeling before? what happened? what Meaning did we place on what happened (our story about the story) what did you feel? how did you behave, based on your feelings? the Trauma is kinda Irrelevant! It's not the story... it's our story ABOUT the story that matters, that effects / affects us the story about the story. what did that little kid tell him/herself about what was happening to him/her? That's the key to emotional healing work! D-R, ----------- mcp ------------, ND Brochure, (!) (<-- that's all of 'em, I think!) WHAT DID WE DECIDE ABOUT LIFE AS A RESULT OF OUR PAIN?!? WHAT DID WE FEEL?!? (that may still need to be expressed) Feelings packed inside Feelings being released Heart lightens, and opens Anger flows (gets blasted) out Resentment flows out Wisdom flows in Peace flows in little boy, who was emotionally 'stuck' right there, grows, and grows up man helps boy (self) man likes self better man gains empathy for self Here are some extremely cool right-brain things you'll find/discover/uncover/allow/release... - Wisdom! - Compassion - Empathy - Connection - Intimacy - Appreciation - Humble-nicity - Joy - Peace - Serenity - Love - You! --- If you grew up with macho men/brothers/people, you're PROBABLY still carrying that on to your own inner child, when you think about your personal affairs, when you have to make decisions, when you talk to yourself... and/or you may treat your own son/daughter that same way. Are you compassionate, and loving, and attentive, and powerful around your kids? Or do you treat them like your dad treated you? 03:30 nappage. set alarm for 05:22 up, then down reset to 06:30 up, then down up again at 07:33 but didn't close laptop, so it locked up reboot. thank goodness IE comes back with , phew (no internet right now, but it'll be back.) (and lightbulb blew) (interesting start to the day) but had a new bulb (last one) and internet is back go... --- 08:17 "Nothing makes a job more enjoyable than knowing you have helped others!" - Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? T.S. Eliot, "The Rock", Faber & Faber 1934 - Creative thinking may mean simply the realization that there's no particular virtue in doing things the way they have always been done. - Rudolph Flesch "The greatest strength is gentleness and the greatest gentleness is real strength." - Reyaz Mohemmad --- Sharon Aiken's order! 2- 2' branches 1.21 teat461@gmail.com SO SORRY, Sharon... it looks like I missed your order completely! I'll ship it out TODAY! Since it's so late, would you like some 3-foot branches, rather than 2-footers?? Sorry again! Off they go this afternoon. - Matt --- 08:51 watching super bowl interviews Ray Lewis is accused of taking a banned substance ARod ADMITs to taking a banned substance hmmm. --- 09:07 Gwen, Hi. Well, the US Post Office raised all their postage rates on 1.27.13. Please add $1 in postage to EVERY item we sell... and is there somewhere we can apologize for the rate increase? Thanks. darn. - Matt --- sarah b., via text Hi! I have Travis's travelling coffee cup here. I'll drop it off at your mom's work, k? --- IMS... >> LBL horsin' with Bella and her 'toy' rope! she's jumpin' now... much fun! --- oatmeal, steel cut, scoop of brown 2x heat, and let sit yumm... and guilt-free --- 09:33 ok, I'm ready for my meeting in an hour so I can write for awhile don't check email until then... unless it's IMS email (which, very conveniently, plays a sound when it arrives!) --- D-R work Conscious, means we're consciously responsible! we know that our happiness, our life experience, our success, our feelings and our life is up to US, to create the very best way we know how. We believe we can TEACH people: - how to be responsible - what it takes to be responsible - WHY they'd WANT to be responsible - Tools for handling this responsibility - Benefits of being responsible Responsible = Response-able we are able to Respond to anything life throws at us some by our own hand, some not some in our control, some not some that feels good, some not we can handle it, ourselves, each other and our lives there's nothing I can't handle. there's no feeling I haven't felt. there's nothing that can be me down, and keep me down. I know how to manage my feelings. I know what to DO with my feelings. I know how to Process my feelings. Suicides are from hopelessness and despair. probably also disappointment and anger, too. Junior Seau, 12-time NFL all-star (pro-bowler) San Diego Chargers, multi-millionaire headed for the Hall of Fame as one of the best defensive back in history of football loved by the masses as a gentle giant giving, caring in 2012, boom, dead, suicide... wtf?!? --- >> post pics from the dam for Bri --- 10:20 LI-EIN says 43,898, but it at 43,896 yesterday, and I approved 12x since then... that means we lost 10x, too! ouch. - "To not be intimate with our personal history is to be run by it, whether we lose ourselves in it or flee." - Robert Augustus Masters Sorted by most recent submission Amanda W. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Greetings! I'm Amanda Lake from Santa Barbara. My passion is to work with emotional intelligence material that can be integrated into ... "more… "Greetings! I'm Amanda Lake from Santa Barbara. My passion is to work with emotional intelligence material that can be integrated into core content areas while aligning to some of the Common Core State Standards. Teachers and administrators seek dynamic in-service and online training demonstrating that facilitation of emotional intelligence-building content need not require "mental health" training, and need not displace their current curricular demands. As an aside, I am fervently angling to replace that term with "emotional health" due to all the baggage the word "mental" carries with it. InDepth Education Marketing is a consultancy for small publishing and professional development startups focused on making innovative content visible in K-12 education. My wish is to keep learning about what's out there for schools, what's new in the field of EQ, and to contribute in any way I can to the increase of EQ in youth in the context of the school environment. " --- 10:28 FI$Cal. I worked there, and did some of the legacy system analysis. You guys are still bidding on the job... you haven't been awarded the contract yet, right (hence the secrecy)? I'd need near $70/hr. to switch jobs now. Do-able? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Cal state contract, legacy systems From: Michael Domaratius Date: Wed, January 30, 2013 10:14 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Sorry I'm not allowed to share the complete contact, bosses rules, I don't make them I just follow them. But it's in Sacramento, CA, going to last 3-5 years, there is no specific language or database given. Just a very large number of databases are getting updated even the contract doesn't list which language/db you guys will be working on, just who's databases they belong to. The position isn't looking for a specific legacy system database just experience with them because its going to go over a broad range of databases. How much are ya looking for? On Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 10:04 AM, wrote: c'mon dude, give me the WHOLE story, please. where, how long, what language(s)/DBs, rate, etc? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Cal state contract, legacy systems From: Michael Domaratius Date: Wed, January 30, 2013 9:40 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Sure. The Legacy Systems Data Cleansing, Conversion and Analysis Specialist must have a minimum of three (3) years of experience performing legacy systems information gathering, structured data analysis, documenting metadata, data cleansing, data conversion activities, and assisting clients in post data conversion activities for a large-scale software project implementation. On Wed, Jan 30, 2013 at 9:40 AM, wrote: need more specifics, please. can you send me the requirement? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Cal state contract, legacy systems From: Michael Domaratius Date: Wed, January 30, 2013 9:25 am To: matt@2gethelp.com I've got a Legacy systems data cleansing, conversion and analysis specialist position. -Mike On Tue, Jan 29, 2013 at 4:57 PM, wrote: maybe, whatchagot Mike?? - Matt --- scramblers, with tomato and mushrooms in a tortilla with salsa yum! --- PKP called joe's napping told story of her mom blowing off kids, who were at the wrong school, 'cause she had a headache mom has agreed to put her money in a trust, so she can stay in her home. going to atty today (reluctantly) $180k, already spent $10k on IHSS. --- 12:02 Agree Kevin. And what concerns me is that so many rehab programs for young people are based on such an assumption, which has always been my theory why they fail more than they work. The kids I have don't respond to pain adults in their lives attempt to inflict on them. They more often that not get worse. Because they have what Dreikurs called "mistaken" goals, like power and control, and revenge, and even what I call withdrawal-avoidance-relief, which they simply double down on when adults double down on attempting to inflict pain on them. In some ways, it's a form of resiliency, but terribly self-defeating. I'd rather see some fight in a kid than despair. And their unhealthy, self-defeating behavior gets reinforced even though there is more "pain" in their lives in many ways. On the other hand, if you approach them by offering them things that they secretly want, like a real sense of power in their lives, to feel better, to have the kind of life they've seen others have and never have been able to have for themselves, and may even think is beyond their reach, they respond. There have been so many times in my years in the classroom, and since in conducting "Tool Time" groups, that kids who'll stand toe to toe with other adults and self-destruct rather than concede will offer their hand and say thank you when I come at them in a completely different way. That doesn't mean they'll do some major turn around quickly, because like everyone else, they'll battle brain physiology when they try to change, and there will continue to be many triggers around them for plugging into their old dysfunctional cognitive, emotional and behavioral "ruts". It always makes me wonder how many young people suffer needlessly and sometimes even self-destruct because adults in their lives operated on the assumption that you have to make them suffer to get them to change. No you don't, and it's a lot better for all concerned if you can go the other route. By Ray Mathis --- 12:14 The Emotional Intelligence Network "NOTHING HAPPENS, until the pain of REMAINING THE SAME, outweighs the pain of CHANGE" (Arthur Burt). Do you agree, or disagree? For many of my 40 years (with myself too) as a psychotherapist, it has been easy to get people to commit to change, and to stick to it. It has come from the focus on our world as a "giant school." Once we commit to grow, this teacher (experience) just doesn't let us alone until we learn our lessons. When people slack off, I tell them "You can not make this change, but the universe is not going to leave you alone. In fact, each time this lesson is presented to you again, it will be harsher for you. It's your choice." Once I understood how this "school" works, I realized that going ahead and learning the lesson is SOOOO much easier, makes subsequent change SOOOO much easier, and frees me to do something besides live in pain--immediately! The many intellectual considerations I see here are interesting, but they don't necessarily get the job done. I realize what a pragmatist I must be! If it doesn't help me get to a better place in my life, I don't want to spend my time talking and talking about it! BTW, once the "school" system is understood, it doesn't really take so much commitment. It does take intention and a decision to make the change. The encouragement to stick with the change-making behaviors comes automatically when you decide you don't want to be in pain over a particular issue any more! By Ilene L. Dillon --- LBL >> add supervisor's email; additional email using dropdowns --- $40 paid for Sean's fantasy trades more work? Eucs? --- 5ish PR and Josh here to run dogs... nice to Cliff House (1st time) for dinner, very nice (but expensive) --- Increased postage costs for EucProducts. Amounts Rate 0.01 - 11.99 7 12 - 19.99 11 20 - 29.99 14 30 - 49.99 24 50+ 33 --- Post-Traumatic Stress’s Surprisingly Positive Flip Side http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/magazine/post-traumatic-stresss-surprisingly-positive-flip-side.html?pagewanted=1&_r=0 Of more than 600 trauma survivors, people reported positive change in five areas: they had a renewed appreciation for life; they found new possibilities for themselves; they felt more personal strength; their relationships improved; and they felt spiritually more satisfied. Under Seligman’s guidance, the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program came into shape. The Master Resilience Trainer program, part of this larger effort, is supposed to turn the noncommissioned officers closest to young soldiers into teachers of positive psychology. there is a chance that, given time, they may be stronger as a result of what they went through. --- 9:24 I had rented 3 movies the other day. watched the first, with Antonio Banderas, in spanish, with limited subtitles... and turned it off. the next was 'Numb', with Matthew Perry, was awful. and 'The Weather Man', with Nicholas Cage, is also very negative and depressing. whatever. turn it off and do D-R --- what is eq 2.7M >> find google site and recheck --- Intensive, personal EQ workshop >> post to LI-EIN and FB-EIN? promotions? New Directions: EQ Mastery & Emotional Healing Weekend Intensive, Feb. 8-10, Fresno, CA, USA. (916) 599-8597 / matt@2gethelp.com For over 25 years, we've created intimate small-group workshops to explain/show/experience how to add critical right-brain emotional skills and wisdom (EQ) to the left-brain cognitive skills and knowledge (IQ) we learned in schools. In a super-safe, loving environment, we help folks get in touch with their true feelings, learn to identify, accept and express themselves in positive, effective ways (that bring people closer, rather than pushing them away), and open their hearts (or close them) to relationships, love and companionship. Join our ND family, as we heal our painful past (we gotta feel it to heal it), learn to live fully (and freely!) in the present, and create the best possible future we can, TOGETHER! With over 2,000 happy(er) graduates, many share their successes here (in words, audio and video interviews): http:// The Last Great Adventure on Earth is the Journey Inside Our Hearts, Minds and Soul Tuition: $399, with $100 discount for LI-EIN members, so $299, satisfaction guarenteed. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/Signup You will leave the weekend with a deeper understanding and acceptance of who you are, how you developed, and therefore, how to treat yourself (and others) in ways that inspire cooperation, respect, motivation, empathy and love (even for yourself)! http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com 11:33 screenshot: C:\~stuff\NDAd_LI-EIN_20130130.jpg --- >> check for Prostate cancer >> Colonoscopy --- I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music. - George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans) (1819 - 1880) - Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. - Michael Pollan - IN my personal experience, pain, whether of REMAINING THE SAME, or OF CHANGE, is experienced only, and only when, one blames someone or the other, even if it is himself, for it. Remove the blame out of the equation and the pain immediately turns into the starting point of self-discovery that leads to self-evolution and happiness. By Ambuj Jain --- 11:48 FB-Shauna Wright wow, sounds like you're MAX'd! ... and it sounds like he's difficult to work with (very low EQ, ey?). To me, tough conversations like that need to be done in person... now that he has the email, and knows your terms... how about stepping into his office and laying down what WILL happen, and ask him just 1 question. "I reduce my hours and find a replacement to fill in some of my duties, or I'm out, by Feb. 14... it's up to you... decide, which one?" Is it worth a try, so you'll know you did your very best, and came from a power position, not a victim, or begging. or no way? Best wishes with it all, Shauna! Not fun, but it's gotta get done. --- 11:57 Melinda Hi. I found it. This page is not pretty (I'm sure you can improve it), but it's very close to what I want, formatting-wise. http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx He's got: - a top NAV bar - then 3 columns - left is wording / text-only / cognitive information to read thru - center-middle is the tag line, sub-title, point of the site - then below that are additional resources, bigger, more color - to the right, i the right-brain stuff -- 1-2 pictures, more color, dif. fonts., a video would be great here yep. btw, I have this vision of some day having 2 animated 'Host' characters, a female and a male, who Welcome you to the site, and Guide you to where to go next. You can ask them questions, or they give you dif. info based on the page you're on, and maybe even the page you came from. Lots of possibilities... something to keep in mind for later. Melinda, I strongly believe that EQ is going to be one of THE hottest topics in the coming years, and I/we are in an amazing position to ride this wave! Paula and I have been 'in the EQ trenches' for over 25 years, face-to-face with people as we slide past their best defenses and objections -- to dig out their deepest pain, their worst fears, their rage, anger, hurt, shame and guilt -- to provide relief, understanding, acceptance and a profound, life-altering change in people's relationship with their own inner-child. Empathy starts with self-empathy, and love starts with self-love. ... and the healing has been phenomenol (relieving depression, repairing relationships, avoiding suicides, reducing learned helplessness). EQ is not rocket science (in fact, it's quite simple, and easy to understand), and it works like magic! The healing is real, and profound, and lasting, and totally, 100% free. Soooo, if we can start working well together, I believe there will be gobs of work for you to do, going forward! yeehaa! - Matt whatchathink of that page layout of our new EQRocks homepage? --- 1.31 00:43 pause --- alarm... 04:20 nope 05:22 still no 06:02 ok, Hi doggies, pee/poop/brush espn? no. movies? no. turn off the tv, return to the counter and... go. - EQ premise if you have an Issue about something now, it's both bec. of how you Think about the problem AND how you Feel about the problem... both must be taken into account. What we Think about the problem is the Belief System that's in place, probably unconsciosly, which has Rules for how to live and how NOT to live. >> are BS's left-brain or right-brain? mostly right, that's the thing but they're also a mixture. because of the HUGE emotion, and shock to the system, emotionally... there were some huge, life-altering Decisions made at those times, too, that need to be addressed. Shock = Right-brain, no logic Decisions = Left-brain's, 'analysis' of what happened, it's plan of attack for how to AVOID that situation/problem AT ALL COSTS, and live more causiously in the future. Our left-brain tries, valiantly, to Help and Protect, and Remind our right-brain about all the pain it's experienced. The right-brain doesn't know any better, so it just keeps the pictures, sounds, smells, touch and taste, in tact, until something changes... or changes it. Here's the good news! a. The traumatic feelings can be 'processed' out of the system -- they can be discovered, uncovered, felt, released(!), and replaced with more positive feelings... sometimes permanently. b. The decisions, the belief systems, the Meanings... about life, about love, about who I am and how I fit (or don't fit) in the world, how powerfull/less I am, how/what I must protect... all these were made, at one point, one Thought, one second in time (usually then reinforced over and over thru life, we tend to see/find/reinforce what we already believe). These can all be changed. all of 'em. completely. c. Even the traumatic Pictures, sounds, smells, tastes and touches can be changed! It's called NLP and it works, again, like Magic. If you have a picture in your heard of say, an accident, or someone getting badly hurt, or YOU getting badly hurt/abused/violated/attacked/crashing, etc... WE CAN CHANGE THOSE, too! Change the pic. Get into the feeling of it, get the picture clear in your mind... and then Change it... change the colors, the players, the outcome, what you did, what they did, make it smaller, and more distant or have it burst into pieces, or become a fluffy rabbit... our right-brain doesn't know the dif. between real and imagined, so we call it Re-Imagining, re-framing, re-picturing... just re-do it, your way. Poof, instant relief, again, magically, and sometimes Permanently. --- 07:20 "Gina Smith" spammed Ok, Gina, let's do it! Let's start with a logo, to get to know one another, but I have lots to do, as I'm planning on changing/saving the world from the inside out (seriously) by teaching people Emotional Intelligence - adding right-brain EQ to left-brain IQ to make better decisions, create empathy and compassion for self and others, and thus build a world of cooperation, oneness and peace. Here are some of my most important sites: www.2GetHelp.org www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com <--- needs new logo www.EQRocks.com www.EQ-101.com www.2GetHelp4Vets.com how do we get started? Woohoo! - Matt - -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Logo Designer For Your Website From: "Gina Smith" Date: Wed, January 30, 2013 10:54 pm To: "matt" Hello, A logo is a graphic mark or emblem commonly used by commercial enterprises, organizations and even individuals to aid and promote instant public recognition. Logos are the chief visual component of a company's overall brand identity. Logo should help convey some information about the company, or be designed in a way that gives some sense of meaning about the company or its industry. I work as a freelance logo designer and can design a logo for your website or company at a very nominal cost of $75 and you can see some of my samples below. I will provide you with 4 mockups to choose from within 24 hours of receiving your design request & then unlimited revisions based on your feedback. The final logo files will be in high resolutions vector formats. I will also provide with a logo guide which you can use as a reference to provide more information about the logo you need. In addition I also do website designing starting at $199 per website and write articles / content for your website at $10 per page of 500 words. If you need hosting service, our plans start at $3.33 per month. If you want I can arrange for references as well who can vouch that this is a genuine offer and not a spam. Should you want to see some of my logo designs / website , please do ask for them. I assure you of quality work and do look forward to hearing from you. Regards, Gina Smith --- there is something wrong with everything. and there is something right with everything, too. When we spend all of our time complaining, we are in essence in constant destroy mode rather than building mode. --- 07:33 wow... sooo sorry, Tammy... it looks like I missed your order completely somehow! Please confirm your address as: Tammy Via-Pauley 4523 Kanawha Ave SW South Charleston, WV 25309 if it's correct, I shall send you a Starter pack (and some extra due to my screwup) TODAY! Thanks for the gentle reminder. - Matt --- SEIU A realistic pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants must be at the center of any final legislation. --- 07:38 Ok, look, if you're serious about working with me... for real... we could do some serious damage together! I'm not kidding... we are on the forefront of one of the biggest waves, and I/we are in such a wonderful position right now to ride that baby. EQ is hot, it's like magic, it's free (completely, totally, 100% free), and the buzz is just starting! People are starting to realize how amazing EQ is/can be, and how easy and simple it is to teach. Oh, and we've been teaching this stuff, like no other, in people's faces... digging down to their deepest core feelings, holding a pillow for them as they rage, holding them as they balled, with total love, and safety, and acceptance. Paula and I are good... very good... maybe some of the best in the world at this.... watch. ... the term of "what is EQ?" was searched 2.7M times last MONTH, just on Google! so, I need to show/explain/promote/sell/offer/entice and PROMOTE EQ to the masses. I'm close on the D-R app. It's a 3-page dissertation on how I believe EQ can change the world, from the inside out. It's about how the top 10 social problems today are a DIRECT RESULT of people not knowing how to deal with their feelings and emotions... and they're MOSTly guys. I believe they're gonna buy it, and fund us. They'd be silly not to, as I have gobs of 'proof' /evidence/numbers to back up evey one of my claims. it's attached, still super-rough notes, but the concepts are coming together! Did you know they did a 4-day EQ-intensive "resiliency" training for ALL of the 41,000 Drill Seargents in the US Army?!? They figured that was the best way to teach EQ to the 1.1M troops!?! Pretty cool, ey? As I mentioned before, I don't have tons of $$, but I have some to get us/you started. I'll get more as we go. I need you to be reliable, keep to your word, and follow-through to 'finish' stuff... and I need to do the same (I'm awesome at starting... not that great at 'finishing'). You need to bring in some income, and I'm very happy to be helping your family. I think you will grow, personally, by learning EQ... we have a few issues to discuss in working together... and I believe both of us can make a Very large impact on the world, and create a Very healthy income for ourselves, hereafter. Whatchathink? Are you up for a wild ride, to help us change the world from the inside out?!? - Matt call me, and can you come over later... or I gotta go to the Post Office today, so I could come there so we can talk/plan/organize, ok? --- 07:52 >> write to Martin Seligman (some day) --- the stuff in C:\stuff (on laptop) is dif. than the stuff in H:\stuff (flashdrive) >> combine 'em, and copy both to PC \stuff and backup --- Verizon landlines? --- fed doggies to office... >> fix LBL, finish >> FI$Cal app >> IMS DAE1 --- Paid AT&T $118, 248 total due cc Joint ck PKP called she's prob. not going to class next weekend so that means I won't be home to do Orders, etc. --- 10:33 Ok, here we go, Mike... Info was completed below. My full name for the NDA is Mathew Perelstein. My updated resume is attached, including FI$Cal experience Three "reference templates" (from FI$Cal) are attached... (They sent each an email to rate me, and they all 3 rated all 10's across the board). The Skills matrix that we submitted to FI$Cal is also attached, as it shows specific skills Let me know what else you need. Thanks. - Matt (916) 599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Cal state contract, legacy systems From: Michael Domaratius Date: Wed, January 30, 2013 11:02 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Awesome, yes an updated resume would be nice, a few references just to prove that you have done the work you've done, they'll be contacted if/when we reach the interviewing process stage. I need your full name for the memo of understanding, its just to say that you want the job and I'm not submitting you without your consent and has your pay rate set. Can you to fill out your time at skills for the position, if there is not time at skill just put a 0, its no big deal if you don't have every little detail they want. The Legacy Systems Data Cleansing, Conversion and Analysis Specialist must have a minimum of three (3) years of experience performing legacy systems information gathering Time: 2 years structured data analysis Time: 5 years documenting metadata Time: 1 year data cleansing Time: 2 years data conversion activities Time: 10 years assisting clients in post data conversion activities for a large-scale software project implementation. Time: 0 Thanks! Mike --- If you give a man the freedom to work, he will work like your slave. But if you treat him like a slave, he will only be working for his freedom. By VENKATESH KANGOVI NARASIMHAMURTHY --- 10:49 Hey MJ, I thot that example would be a good home page layout / category title page... not sure what the subsequent pages might look like. Yeah, when last I checked, the SEO is off the charts! I'd like to see your most current findings. Look up "what is eq", too. It DOES feel good, doesn't it?!? (giving works. helping works. being nice works... for all!) let's do this! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hi. From: Melinda Janicki Date: Thu, January 31, 2013 10:33 am To: Matt Perelstein Hey there Matt - so this is what you want the whole site to be designed by or is this just the category page we discussed? So I did some of the SEO research and let me tell you it is compelling I will send it to you in an excel spreadsheet when I am done so you can see what people are searching for. Everything sounds good and I can't wait to get more people into the site - it feels really great to be apart of something that has affected so many in such a positive way. -Melinda --- wildblue .com/myaccount 800-869-7136, 1, 3 service dept. paid $60.84 today but card expires today! --- 11:13 Wells Fargo 2910 bal joint 2473.63 IMS 1.31 681.58 PS 1.30 --- L3 Leadership Lead Self Lead Others Lead with Others --- 12:30 back to house --- start orders about 12x starters, 2 shoe boxes and a few long ones but need 6' of 2" and more leaves for now, and the weekend. --- 1:43 Microsoft Security Essentials scan completed for 1,349,312 items detected 1 potential threat on your computer. Browser Modifier, Medium alert, Active, Action: Quarentine Succeeded normally scheduled to run: Sunday around 2:00 AM (Quick scan) Last scan: 1/27/2013 at 1:47 AM (Quick scan) >> post on FB re: MSE(!) great stuff, and it's free! oh, and it looks like it Worked... as IE doesn't have the errant life links that I never asked for. yay! --- Paula's not going to the next class. for sure now. she's got a sweater class every Saturday in Feb., 10-4? $55 --- 1:46 IMS: back to office to do Validation session for DAE1 2-4 LBL Shruti and Priya help with DAE1 re-wrote it almost completely good explanation... best yet. 4:10 - 4:40 Orders 4:57 USPO (with Bella girl) return (stupid) movies to MLCU: AK, Sarah B., Tracy Kay PR's with material, letters, thread for present she's sewing for Nick Oliver (Josh's big bro) and his new fiance, Ashton. Harvest for carob peanut goodies (big mistake!) to MFF in mendo to get more posters/flyers to Paterson's for an Old Rasputin and steak fries Jill from Oakland, talked EQ! home feed pups --- 8:42 Oh my, Angelica, so sorry! It seems I somehow missed your order completely. I'll send you a privatemessage with the address I have for you... and if it's correct, I'll get you are placement order out TOMORROW! Sorry again... Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt -Angelica Tuttle 454 Maple Leaf Road Spencer, VA 24165 Right? (sorry) - Matt --- 12.5 of the earth has been set aside for national parks and reserves... all started with Yosemite! --- 8:56 internet's down --- paused then PR called re: her pillow Josh texted re: working this weekend ... and so did Sarah B., re: her and Travis yikes --- 10:59 Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking inward I discover peace. - Q'ero Indians --- busy day e's the morning, IMS, orders, Mendo, more... went fast (for a change) now it's 11pm. boom, gone. Chris retired from Post Office today. Dr. Zack Contreras, IMS Ken Tyler, Access consultant to IMS Informatics I applied today for 3-5 years as Legacy System conversion developer I've done a ton of conversions... but not into Oracle. If we have a strong Oracle guy on the team, I could go out, and he/she could go in. agreed on $70/hr., 1099. Maybe I shoulda asked for $75. that's $560 a day, $2500/wk, and $10k/mo. wow. like it was at MetaVista, when I was getting $68. 1099. ran across two invoices today... $8k, $9... nice. stopped too soon... way too soon. I was just getting into it, too. formal written analysis, with ToC, charts, graphs, Footnotes, the works... 50-100 pages did one, anyway... and it was a good one. Deliverable 6.2 Legacy System Inventory Analysis and Validation, v8 is 43x pages, but I know we got to v11+. the high numbers, and the early mornings, and the lack of sleep, and the gobs of notes. are just for me to validate myself. so I don't feel alone. so I don't feel too much of what I don't want to feel, i guess. well, get on with it, anywayz, Mr. Procrastinator. --- 11:15 back to D-R... in a few min, it'll be 20130201... so I'll just skip 20130131 completely. go... (see writing below) --- 02.01 / 2.1 Friday, PKP's coming home tonight, after being one for a week... went by sooo fast. 00:04 When we willingly accept compliments, we are reminded that others see us through different eyes. --- Thoughts become feelings, feelings become behaviours, and behaviours lead to outcomes. Change your thoughts, Change your outcomes, Change your life. - Jill at Paterson's thoughts beget outcomes in fact, change your thoughts, change your life! happiness is a choice! We choose to think, so if we don't like what we're thinking, we can choose to think something different. We have prob. 75-90% control over our thoughts. we can control what we think, for the most part, we do it all day long at work and at school. we have 40-55% control over our feelings. we have a fair amount of control over what we feel. we can effect it by changing our thoughts but sometimes we just feel what we feel, and it ain't really in our control. we have about 98% control over our behaviours. Except for some automatic bodily functions, we have a TON of control over our actions, words and behaviours! ... twenceforth, we have quite a bit of control over our outcomes. we can't always MAKE stuff happen, sometimes we can... and sometimes we can gracefully Let things happen there's a way to be selfish, that works for everyone! there's a way to take care of yourself, that feels good, and real, and honest, all around. there's a way that we can be right up front about what we need and want, how others can support us, how we function, how we love, that makes it wonderful to be around us. it's about humility, acceptance (lack 'o judgment, or willingness to change it, rise above it, modify it, analyze it, release it) It's called Emotional Mastery there's a whole world of information, joy, wonder, peace, serenity, love and fire deep down within each of us. that we may have never met! what if you could integrate the wonder, passion and pure joy that you had a small child into you as a wise, powerful, responsible adult. IQ, adult EQ, kid IQ + EQ = whole system, package deal, complete package itegration, stimulation, altercation, imagination success, joy, happiness, validation, achievement, concentration closeness, intimacy, connection, NOT alone, Not different, Not crazy, not sick, not broken, not dirty, not ashamed, not abused, NO LONGER A VICTIM, ever. power or victim responsibility or blame ?humanity or humility authenticity or arrogance together or separate powerful or powerless player or spectator in the game, or watching safely from the sidelines compassion or conceit ruta or bega? good or evil for or against within or without friend or enemy leader or follower supporter or saboteur --- 00:19 pause... 05:20 text to Josh to work today one of the 5L's came in today expecting more over the weekend and Sarah and Travis can do Sunday night. maybe I'll have a sale this weekend, then! hmmm... Higher Postage Sale! I had to raise all the postage rates $1 'cause the US Post Office had to raise theirs. Soooo, to celebrate, order your , order Shoe Boxes, and 3' >> print MA and seed instructions >> research BrowserModifier:JS/Kesler Items: containerfile:C:\Documents and Settings\MPerelstein\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\me55dcr6.default\extensions\bvmrabamag@bvmrabamag.org.xpi file:C:\Documents and Settings\MPerelstein\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles\me55dcr6.default\extensions\bvmrabamag@bvmrabamag.org.xpi->chrome/printing.jar->content/overlay.xul->(SCRIPT0000) --- 06:15 texting with Ginger re: skiing Heavenly and Mammoth(?, her fave, triple black), Abraham, up early, driving lots Temecula Danielle Ardella White Speech myemail.constantcontact.com ------ mcp ----- "Violence of the tongue is very real - sharper than any knife." We used to hear "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." Well, forget about that one! Words can hurt - terribly! --- Be a More Gracious Leader: 12 Ways People follow strong leaders with drive and ambition. But these 12 actions of grace will make you a leader worthy of following. http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/be-a-more-gracious-leader-12-ways.html?cid=em01017week05c&nav=su Christian Hoehn/Getty Today's business environment demands people to step up and be aggressive, strong leaders, in order to get ahead and drive their companies and careers forward. In that powerful march to success sometimes there is so much focus on being strong and assertive, people forget the human side. Here are 12 leadership qualities paired with their gracious counterparts. I'll leave it to you to find the combination that works in your world so others can perceive and respect you as a gracious individual. 1. Be Confident and Show Empathy People will follow you if you express that you know what you're doing and where you are going. But not everyone sees it your way or can travel at your pace. See the road from their perspective and help them find the path. 2. Be Punctual and Show Forgiveness Good leaders manage their time well and are respectful of other people's minutes. But everyone gets overly busy or distracted at some point. When one is late, assess the root of the faux pas before assuming disrespect. Then simply make the point and move on. 3. Be Proud and Show Humility You should take pride in your accomplishments and push for achievement. But people most admire those leaders whose accomplishments speak for themselves and whose greatest accomplishment is the success of their followers. 4. Be Disciplined and Show Humanity Serious, focused discipline is what gets most jobs done efficiently and effectively. But not everyone can go nonstop like a robot. Let people be people. They need to relax and recharge. Show them you can have fun as well. A little humor goes a long way to connect and show your human side. 5. Be Recognized and Show Recognition One should openly accept accolades when they are bestowed. False modesty is not becoming. But hogging the limelight won't inspire your followers. Share the spotlight and the journey. Help everyone participate and enjoy the rewards of accomplishment. 6. Be Bold and Show Discretion Great leaders step out to the front and charge the action forward. But not every conflict is a full on battle requiring big resources and heavy artillery. Determine the appropriate amount of time and energy for the situation, then apply it deftly. You'll keep your team fresh, alert, and ready for the big battles ahead. 7. Be Spontaneous and Show Thoughtfulness Being ready for anything is a virtue, and a strong leader knows how to shake things up with excitement. But people also gain strength from a certain level of thoroughness and predictability. They value leaders who take the time to consider all options before venturing off into the unknown. 8. Be Directed and Show Consideration You're successful because you know how to drive your own success. But people need to follow because they believe, and simply telling them your way is the right way is not always enough for them to buy in. Lead by example. Demonstrate how the choices you've made will have the same positive affect on their performance. Consider that their life experience is different than yours and help them comprehend the appropriate interpretation. 9. Be Firm and Show Compassion Most great leaders are likeable not because they are lax. They provide structure for success and make sure boundaries are clearly marked. If too many ignore the barriers, all hell can break loose. But people are naturally well intended. Failure must be approached with compassionate correction and learning. Kindly help transgressors find their way to happiness and success either in or out of your organization. 10. Be Generous and Show Gratitude Leaders must give of themselves constantly. They give their time, knowledge, energy, motivation, and insights. They know that the more they give, the more success the team will achieve, and often they do so selflessly. But followers give as well. To feel worthwhile the team needs to know the leader appreciates how the team has gone above and beyond. A grateful leader has a loyal following. 11. Be a Listener and Show Appreciation Thoughtful listening is important, but often leaders may have to rightly dismiss what was expressed. Listening is not always demonstrated through acceptance. Sometimes the answer is still no. But artful leaders are capable of making followers feel appreciated for simply having the opportunity to share their point of view. Then, even the skeptics will buy in to the vision and commit their all. 12. Be a Leader and Show Compliance Simply put, the most gracious and powerful leaders are the ones who understand when to step back as a follower and let the most appropriate person lead. --- 06:37 - 07:03 FB-MCP Ginger says to remove birthyear from FB profile 'cause of Identity theft (just need DOB and SS#). Done. Profile: About mcp: I'm all about teaching the world the wonder and joy of having high Emotional Intelligence (EQ), as we're finding that EQ is an essential keys to happiness, sanity, and success in life! Our worst social problems today -- crime, violence, suicide, divorce, abuse, addictions, mental health, even war -- are a result of us NOT knowing how to deal with our feelings and emotions. They're behaviour-based and emotion-driven ... and EQ can Help. It's about incorporating our right-brain (EQ) -- where our feelings, pictures, memories, creativity and wisdom all live -- to add to the left-brain (IQ) thoughts, knowledge, logic, rules and critical thinking that we learned in schools and at home. Every behaviour we do -- every action, every word, every movement -- is based on both our Thoughts and our Feelings. Therefore, using our whole brain gives us more information to help us make better life decisions. EQ, and being in touch with our right-brain feelings, gives us a depth and breadth to life that makes it all worth living... IQ + EQ = LOL !! It's not rocket science, but it's definitely life-changing. Learn about your right-brain Emotional Intelligence -- EQRocks! --- 07:25 sooo many distrations! LI-EIN, 43,924x --- Sorry to see you go, Clive. EQ says that quips like "what could you be thinking" are not an opinion, but a put-down... I hope you can see the difference some day. Best wishes to you. - Matt On 02/01/13 6:43 AM, Clive Adams wrote: -------------------- Yeah, right. well I'll leave you to it then. If you're so controlling and censorious that you won't countenance an opinion that differs from your own then it's not a group I would want to be part of. Disrespectful? Wow. You approved it then deleted it? Weird. Thanks anyway. On 02/01/13 6:10 AM, Matt Perelstein wrote: -------------------- Hi Clive, Sorry to hear your frustration. Here's the scoop.: - I, personally, do LI-EIN group moderation at least twice a day, every day. There has never been anything it the queue for weeks, as far as I know. - I checked out your activity and there is none. - I just approved one of your comments, while I was reading it... then went and deleted it... so it could be that your posts were 'sitting', they were deleted. I won't post comments that say stuff like "what could you be thinking?" It's negative and judgmental, and puts people on the defensive. We're nice here... and respectful... and at least semi-positive, always. Try us again, with positive comments. Thanks. - Matt On 02/01/13 5:07 AM, Clive Adams wrote: -------------------- Hi Matt, I appear to have been stuck in the Emotional Intelligence Network moderation queue for some weeks now. My comments sit there for what appears to be forever and by the time they are cleared they're irrelevant. I wondered if there's anything you could do to remedy this or whether I should just leave the group since there's no point in remaining under these conditions. Thanks. --- "Congratulations! Fantastic! You go, baby! I'm so happy for you. No one deserves it more. I love you so much." That's what people say, Matt, after a really big dream comes true for a dear friend of theirs. Know what they often say beforehand? "You should be happy with what you have. Don't forget to smell the roses. It's all about you. No one ever died wishing they spent more time working." When you love something enough, Matt, work becomes play, perspiration becomes inspiration, and it doesn't matter what others may say. No one deserves it more, The Universe --- >> add to ID_PW http://www.FreeCBTHandouts.com MattPerelstein, 2gh Think our Thoughts Do Not Cause Our Feelings and Behaviors? Think Again! By Dr. Aldo R. Pucci, Pres. By-phone CBT therapy http://www.onlinecbtcounseling.com/default.aspx Nat'l Assoc. of CBTers http://www.nacbt.org/ cartoons in .PDF http://freecbthandouts.com/downloads/?did=7 CBT and rational self-counseling Rational Living Therapy takes the best of: - Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy - Rational Behaviour Therapy - Cognitive Therapy ABC's Awareness --> Belief/thought --> emotional Consequence Advantages to Our Online Counseling http://www.onlinecbtcounseling.com/default.aspx Certified and Experienced Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists No need to leave home Confidential, Caring Therapy Clients learn an approach to self-counseling they can apply to any situation long after therapy is over. Our goal is for you to never need therapy again. In terms of problem areas, we help clients via cognitive-behavioral therapy with a wide variety of problems and concerns, including: •Anxiety •Panic Disorder •Agoraphobia •Phobias / Fears •Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder •Truama / Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder •Depression •Low Confidence •Low Self-Esteem •Anger Problems •Substance Abuse •Alcohol Problems •Eating Disorders (Anorexia / Bullemia) •Obesity / Weight Loss Problems •Smoking Cessation •Domestic Violence •School Problems •Sexual Problems •Marital Problems •Compulsive Behavior (Pornography, Gambling, etc...) •Rape •Low Motivation --- EQ aka Positive Psychology Mindfulness Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) / Cognitive Affective Behavioral Therapy (CABT) EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique --- 08:26 Fredrik, I really appreciate your comments. I was in a situation recently (a family therapy setting), in which one of the participants expressed the firm belief that it was going to take YEARS to undo pain that had been caused in early childhood! It's my experience that such changes can take place in minutes, even seconds, and do not need to drag on and on (with attendant pain). When my husband and I visited China in 1998, I asked some of the people we met if they had anger about being taken away from their lives during the Cultural Revolution (when intellectuals, especially, were placed in physical jobs, away from their homes). The response I got was "No, because everyone went through it. No point in being angry about it." While people did not appear to have developed anger, and were not spending hours in the therapy office, they still were quite emotionally closed down, careful to keep whatever they were feeling inside. And the suicide rate was high, too. Folks in other cultures may not spend time in the therapist's office; but they DO need some way of dealing with traumas and other emotional events. Just an observation! As a therapist, I don't say that everyone needs to go to a therapist to work things out. As has been mentioned here a few times, however, the therapist can offer a safe place, does not need to be taken care of, and has some experience in navigating emotionally-based issues. As I often tell people with whom I work, we're all in this together. The therapist is also a human learning lessons. Each of us us "ahead" in different areas, but usually only a block or two (on the total journey, that's not a lot, but it can be helpful)! By Ilene L. Dillon --- try walking meetings, 1:1 rather than sitting down in an office where I work, 50 people share heir work-space where great ideas happen. http://www.linkedin.com/today/se/WhereIWork?trk=eml-mktg-desk-f2-0130-button1 --- 10:30 IMS Standup 2 more submittals of Fact Reporting DAE1, Shruti and Priya helped yesterday more work to do, but in a much better direction now. --- Lisa Rothstein's marketing proposal Hi Matt Here’s a proposal based on our conversation. Objective: To fill your workshops not just once but on an ongoing basis Solution: Invite people to a webinar (that would be recorded to be “evergreen”) that explains your workshops compellingly and encourages viewers to sign up. Webinar would be offered first to local people via networking events (postcard), targeted Facebook ads, etc. and eventually to other locations. Here is what would need to happen and that I would do with/for you (with the help of my assistant Crystal for the technical stuff): • Creating a squeeze (opt-in) page with a short powerpoint video or Animoto video inviting people to sign up to get the live presentation or the replay – this builds the list AND gets people to see the webinar • Create a Thank-you page, which becomes replay page (crystal helps) • setup of wordpress, setup of Optimize Press -- other ways of getting it on the net (Crystal helps) • Creating a Powerpoint for webinar (including finding images -- crystal helps? ) • Use of my Instant Teleseminar account to host the webinar • Being there with you on the Webinar and controlling the slides -- maybe doing an interview format where I ask you questions(60-80 minutes) • Writing an email series to your current list inviting them to attend and to invite their friends • Writing/creating a postcard with QR code to hand out at events (goes to the opt in page) • Writing an email series for people who have signed up for the webinar (reminder to attend, post-event "were you there" email with replay link, Reminder about the workshop and when it is, testimonial/success story email, Last call for the workshop email • Revise sales page copy (from earlier draft ) to use on webinar page for signing people up to workshop • Aweber email setup (or integration of your current email autoresponder service) • Facebook ad campaignto drive people to sign up page • Brainstorm other ways of getting folks to sign up Normally I would charge at least $7500for all this work, especially since you are getting a turnkey, “evergreen” marketing machine that will continue to funnel prospects to your workshops not only in Fresno but other locations, with limited work from you – just keep sending people to the webinar page and sending them emails. I know you have a limited budget and that you are doing important work, so I am offering you this service at HALF OFF: $3750 In addition, I will credit the $750 from before, so your investment is only 3000 payable in 2 installments. $1500 now + 1500 in 30 days*. Once you get only 8 more participants for the workshop than you would have otherwise, your entire investment is more than paid for. I am convinced this will help you easily do that.(NOTE: You are obliged to pay the second installment in 30 days.) I think you agree that this approach has the potential of working very well for you, MUCH better than just printing a brochure. It basically “clones” you so that you can explain the benefits of your workshops to thousands of people over time. You will always have somewhere to send people (as will your former students) to educate them and enroll them. Let me know how you’d like to proceed. Thanks Lisa --- eggs, mushrooms, salsa, torts 10:03 back to office for IMS 10:30 standup mtg 1pm, Josh Lobue here to do orders did 'em he thru some disc golf he won a tourney in ClearLake, -1(!), beat Aaron, too! quadin' Russell's golf ball cannon - wow! 4 USPS Safeway home shower clean prep for Paula's return "Stargate" --- 9pm, here we go. --- 10:33 she's home. nice wash unpack Fill her pillow with water chat 11:18 p to bed --- 2.2 01:ish me to chuch bed 07:33 up heat on, coffee on LI-EIN 14/13 Every day is irreplaceable, so don't ruin yours by allowing the negative moods of others to pull you into their frame of mind. --- 5 subscriptions, 2-5's, nice start --- D-R Cover (from Matt500) Hi. Thank you for all you do for the world, and thank you for reading our application. I'll get right to the point... I believe that Draper-Richards wants to change the world. I believe I know how to do that. Together, we can make it happen. We believe that many/most of our critical social problems today are AVOIDABLE / Changeable / Solvable. Would you agree that the following are some of our worst social problems of the day? - Crime - Mental Health issues (including rampant PTSD among combat veterans) - Suicides (did you know the US has lost more lives to suicide than we have lost in combat duty in both 2008 & 2009?!?) - Violence - Abuse - Divorce - even War Do you know what they all have in common? They're all Human-based issues, they are all about people, and more specifically, about people's Behaviours. It's not about draught, or tsunamis, or oil, or the earth -- these are not about things outside of us... they're all INside of us. We are free to choose our behaviours, so people are actually "deciding" to do these behaviours, what we consider to be Bad decisions. We know that our behaviours are made up of both thoughts and feelings... but people don't KNOW their feelings and emotions. Feelings are not discussed, put away, shut down, disgarded and discounted. So people are making decisions on incomplete information. Logic (IQ) is king, and feelings and emotions (EQ) are the poor step-child, only to be dealt with when they get outta control. We believe we can change that. It won't be easy, but it can be done... it must be done. By teaching people Emotional Intelligence (EQ), we believe we can change the world, from the inside out. if we can Teach people more about THEMSELVES, they will do less negative behaviours. If we can SHOW people how their Thoughts and Feelings work, and how they operate, they can, and will, make better decisions (because they'll have more and better information). If we can GET THEIR ATTENTION, and let them know that there's more going on than they thought, and that they actually HAVE MORE CHOICES than they thought they did, they can, and will, MAKE BETTER DECISIONS about themselves, their families, their friends, and their environment. We KNOW that lives can be improved by teaching EQ. WE KNOW that our Feelings and Emotions have been diminshed, and put-down, and locked away, and ignored. WE KNOW that our behaviours are based upon both our Thoughts AND our Feelings, so we can use this information to make better choices. We know, therefore we have the responsibility to Show those who do not know. - From MCP_EQNotes.txt ~mcp_EQNotes.txt D-R App Notes --- 7.9.2012 (started) We're not selling anything here... we're just Saying, REALLY LOUDLY, that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the study of our right-brains. We are brought up on left-brain thinking (logic, order, rules, work), while our right-brain strengths (feelings and emotions, creative expression, the pictures/sounds/voices/smells in our head) were silenced, banned, denied, lied about and trampled upon. We believe that's why so many of the world's social problems -- including crime, abuse, mental health, suicide, violence, even war -- are due to right-brain deficiencies, resulting in poor decision-making and negative behaviours. We also believe we can change that. Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) is relatively fixed at birth, but emotional intelligence (EQ) -- the study of ourselves, our minds, hearts and behaviours, and how we fit into the world -- can be dramatically improved, using extremely inexpensive resources, quickly, effectively, and often permanentely. People have mainly negative behavioural roll models right now, and no strong leadership to guide us forward. I propose that we set out to teach the world EQ. I think we can do it, and I believe it can change our world, foundationally. I propose that we: - Document the EQ skills, create training materials, and train trainers around the world. - Build the most complete emotional support site ever developed -- offering hundreds of ways to increase your EQ, mostly free, but some for a fee. (which we'll call 2GetHelp.com) - I also believe that people want to learn how to be a better friend/parent/lover/daughter... and they want to feel valuable, that their contribution truly matters in some way. I propose that we have extensive training, too, on how to "shut up and listen", how to empathisize with taking on their pain, how to put your needs aside for a minute to help someone else, how to be an accountability partner for people, how to care, and have the other person 'get' that you care. (2GiveHelp.com) - Teach people how to communicate, active listening skills, "I" messages, the steps to learning, and how feelings are created and expressed. - Set about creating a positive roll behavioural role models. People will need to be shown how it's done. And we can make these films entertaining, lively, upbeat and fun to watch. I want one before every movie, even 15 seconds, on the Super Bowl, late at night, print, online and radio, everywhere we can spread the word. - The magic is in the Connection, so we'll develop many, many ways where people can meet, and share, and work together... some for growth, some for fun, others with a clear goal, others for a cause... getting people to work with other people is the key. --- Daniel Goleman's talk at Google: Authors@Google http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k 4 Levels of EQ I. INDIVIDUAL BRAIN 1. Self-awaress what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it when we have a thot, our emotional centers prioritize for us in order to make a good decision, Plan A or Plan B. decisions depend on our ability to draw on the wisdom of our emotions (D-R) --- Demystify Emotions Learn how to de-stress "Emotionally connected to the world around you." --- • Emotional IQ / ABC News with Barbara Walters, John S_, Daniel Goleman --- asking for: Research Funding --- IQ + EQ = LOL !! Add what you KNOW (IQ) to what you FEEL (EQ), and you can accomplish almost ANYTHING (LOL !! -- i.e. happiness and success in life)! We pay attention to what we know. But we kinda ignore what we feel. we don't understand it. we can't name it. we know not from whence it came we know not what to do with it. we don't want to talk about it. it's uncomfortable it's mushy. it's mysterious. it's wierd. --- "d-r" words world-renowned fund-raising mid-range keyword-rich spoiled-rotten --- People might argue with me, but I believe that the #1 best thing we could do for ourselves, as a society, is to OPEN our right-brain, and allow our creativity, love, and passion to come thru. Our left-brain logical thinking side (IQ) has been king for hundreds of years, while our right-brain creative feeling side (EQ) has been denied, lied about and generally disrespected. That means people are making daily decisions based on one part of their brain, and therefore not getting the whole picture. This phenomenon is, in my opinion, the fundamental flaw in our society -- leading to stress, depression, rage, abuse, violence, crime, mental health issues, addictions (including Almost Alcoholics), divorce, suicide, even war. The good news is that we can change it! We are finding that EQ awareness and training allows people to change at a fundamental, foundational level. There are extensive stats now on how EQ has helped: To the heart: self-esteem, belonging, life satisfaction, happiness, relationships, success Emotional healing: anxiety, anger, depression, guilt, shame, fear, pain, power and control issues, violation, trauma, recovery... even physical healing(!) Kids in school: confidence, cooperation, commitment, anti-bullying People at work: communication skills, customer service, employee retention, team-building, even sales results! Families: communications, "I" messages, active listening, intention, language of feelings Teams everywhere: cooperation, teamwork, success, camaraderie Twenceforth, I believe that a focus on Emotional Literacy awareness and training could very possibly CHANGE THE WORLD, so I have made a person mission to show the world the wonder and joy of having a high EQ! EQ can be improved, quickly and permanently... IQ, not so much. EQ is inexpensive to teach, requiring very few resources. EQ is fun, uplifting and easy to remember. EQ is about self-awareness, and self-acceptance, and self-control. EQ is about love, and belonging, compassion, understanding and belonging EQ is also about personal power, and strength, and boundaries EQ + IQ = LOL !! We've been doing in-your-face, intensive emotional intelligence workshops for over 25 years now, so I believe I have a unique perspective on emotional intelligence, emotional literacy and emotional healing. While I don't have a book out yet, I have gobs of blog entries (over 800), a new site (www.EQRocks.com), facebook, twitter and youtube, and I LOVE to talk about this critical subject. --- Primary and Secondary feelings (vulnerable / protected) Primary and Secondary thoughts (conscious / unconscious) Primary and Secondary behaviours! (big actions or words / tone or body language) - mcp love is primary anger is secondary fear is primary guilt, shame, embarrassment, jealousy, separateness, aloneness, hopelessness, powerlessness are all secondary... they're based on something you think/believe --- EQ helps us make better Decisions, at a core level. Look at some of the words associated with Decisions in the Thesaurus (these are some of the more powerful concepts in the English language!) Decision - Choice Result Conclusion Verdict Pronouncement Judgment Resolution Assessment Evaluation Ruling Finding Outcome Decress Determination Resolve Firmness Willpower Certitude Surety Resolution Decisiveness Strength of Mind Strength of Will Indecision (Antonym) Uncertainty (Antonym) --- Emotional Trauma: An Often Overlooked Root of Addiction By DAVID SACK, M.D. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2012/03/emotional-trauma-addiction/ Research Links Addiction and Trauma Last week, a study published in Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research confirmed what many of us in the treatment field have long observed: A history of childhood neglect or sexual, physical or emotional abuse is common among people undergoing treatment for alcoholism and may be a factor in the development of alcohol use disorders. - An Unhealthy Attempt to Meet Healthy Needs - unconditional acceptance among other drug users, in some ways replicating the family unit. - attempt to self-medicate - Children with three or more Ground Zero exposure factors were 19 times more likely to increase their use of drugs or alcohol. - Abuse was also linked to a higher risk of anxiety disorders, depression and suicide. Whereas the general population has physical abuse rates of 8.4 percent, the rate for alcoholics has been reported at 24 percent for men and 33 percent for women. The rate of sexual abuse in the general population hovers around 6 percent, while the rate for alcoholics has been reported at 12 percent for men and 49 percent for women. Rates of childhood emotional abuse and neglect, which are often under-reported, are likely as prevalent among alcoholics as physical and sexual abuse and have similar long-term consequences, including increased rates of depression, anxiety, suicide and behavioral problems later in life. Trauma has been associated not only with drug addiction but also overeating, compulsive sexual behavior and other types of addictions. The Adverse Childhood Experiences study, which is based on data from over 17,000 Kaiser Permanente patients, found correlations between severe childhood stress (e.g., abuse, neglect, loss of a parent, domestic violence, or having an addicted or mentally ill parent) and various types of addictions. Trauma can stem from abuse or neglect as well as other painful or frightening experiences, such as a car accident, bullying, school killing, sudden life change or near-death experience, whether experienced firsthand or witnessed. It can also result from growing up in an alcoholic or addicted home or any other environment where children are taught to bury their feelings. As a result of the trauma, the individual feels intense fear or helplessness, which can lead to serious long-term struggles with depression, anxiety, and addictive or impulsive behaviors. A child with four or more adverse childhood experiences is five times more likely to become an alcoholic and 60 percent more likely to become obese, and a boy with four or more of these experiences is 46 times more likely to become an injection drug user than other children. The researchers found that the effects of trauma are cumulative, and that one of the most destructive forms is “chronic recurrent humiliation” (i.e., emotional abuse in the form of name-calling or ridicule). --- ignorance -> danger! let me point this out again... - crime - suicide - addictions - abuse - violence - even war, they're all about people making BAD decisions. dumb stuff, emotionally-clueless stuff. --- Daniel Goleman's blog/site http://danielgoleman.info/appearances/workshops-with-tara-bennett-goleman/ growth stages of ei/EQ q: are there growth stages defined regarding emotional intelligence? i’m thinking about erikson, maslow, kohlberg and so on. the question therefore looks to understanding how early parenting and education might impact the development of mature emotional intelligence and what might lead us to a better understanding/development of creative emotional qualities. D-R A: Yes, the stages are well-defined, and have been known to developmental psychologists for many years. So an EI ability like empathy begins with early roots in infancy, grows among toddlers, and develops further as a child brain matures throughout childhood and the teen years. This is the basis of social-emotional learning, which uses school-based programs to ensure that every child gets the EI lessons they need at the right time and in the right way to foster their emotional and social development. See the outstanding work of the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning particularly the developmental standards they put together for the State of Illinois. --- Army reviewing traumatic stress diagnostic practices http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/22/us-usa-defense-ptsd-idUSBRE82L09A20120322 PTSD is a huge issue for the Defense Department. A recent Army study estimated as many as 20 percent of the more than 2 million U.S. troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan could suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Cost of care could range between $4 billion and $6.2 billion, it said. One psychiatrist said the cost to taxpayers was $1.5 million over the lifetime of a soldier on medical retirement, the Seattle Times reported. "We have in the military writ large over 50,000 folks in uniform who have had at least four deployments," McHugh told members of the defense panel of the Senate Appropriations Committee. Patty Murray, a U.S. senator from Washington state, told McHugh it was "very concerning" that 40 percent of the service members with PTSD who were seen by psychiatrists at Madigan "had their diagnosis changed to something else or overturned entirely. "What it says is that over 4 in 10 of our service members - many of whom were already being treated for PTSD - and were due the benefits and care that comes with that diagnosis had it taken away by this unit," she said. "They were then sent back into the force or the local community." Don't wait for your ship to come in… start rowing and you'll meet it or you'll get there without it. --- What a Wonderful World http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPcgM1MnDnI --- EQ-101. --- 09:36 Tom came by to pay his rent D-R he mentioned about Submarine war games, where 5-6x countries competed, and some yelled at their guys, while others were more rational... we won, using rationality, while the screamers lost. >> research this - cleaned off 8Gb from laptop and some off thumb drive onto Matt500 (322Gb used, 143G free) yay. no internet may move back to office p's in bed reading, decided against her Sat sweater classes I'm avoiding found more resume material, but having trouble with the formatting good info, but needs to be 1, maybe 2 pages long, only --- IQ + EQ = LOL !! Add what we FEEL (EQ) to what we KNOW (IQ) , and we can accomplish almost ANYTHING (LOL !! -- i.e. happiness and success in life)! --- Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) is relatively fixed at birth, but emotional intelligence (EQ) -- the study of ourselves, our minds, hearts and behaviours, and how we fit into the world -- can be dramatically improved, using extremely inexpensive resources, quickly, effectively, and often permanentely. People have mainly negative behavioural roll models right now, and no strong leadership to guide us forward. I propose that we set out to teach the world EQ. I think we can do it, and I believe it can change our world, foundationally. I propose that we: - Document the EQ skills, create training materials, and train trainers around the world. - Build the most complete emotional support site ever developed -- offering hundreds of ways to increase your EQ, mostly free, but some for a fee. (which we'll call 2GetHelp.com) - I also believe that people want to learn how to be a better friend/parent/lover/daughter... and they want to feel valuable, that their contribution truly matters in some way. I propose that we have extensive training, too, on how to "shut up and listen", how to empathisize with taking on their pain, how to put your needs aside for a minute to help someone else, how to be an accountability partner for people, how to care, and have the other person 'get' that you care. (2GiveHelp.com) - Teach people how to communicate, active listening skills, "I" messages, the steps to learning, and how feelings are created and expressed. - Set about creating a positive roll behavioural role models. People will need to be shown how it's done. And we can make these films entertaining, lively, upbeat and fun to watch. I want one before every movie, even 15 seconds, on the Super Bowl, late at night, print, online and radio, everywhere we can spread the word. - The magic is in the Connection, so we'll develop many, many ways where people can meet, and share, and work together... some for growth, some for fun, others with a clear goal, others for a cause... getting people to work with other people is the key. --- 11:17 Hi Irene, Feelings and emotions are mostly about us LETting ourselves feel. Our body wants to, it's our belief systems and judgments and upbringing that gets in our way. (I never do this, but here's Doc's entire BOOK on the subject). Take care and remember... We gotta Feel it to Heal it! - Matt --- 11:23 http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130130011549-1291685-the-seven-desires-that-drive-us?goback=%2Egde_3975917_member_210192173 The desire to be taken seriously. We need to know we exist, that we’re valued, that we’re being listened to. This desire is why good listeners are so valued in the workplace. And why when you feel so bad when you realise someone is looking over your shoulder when you’re talking to them, rather than listening to what you have to say. The desire for ‘my place’. We all need places that feel like ours, places that symbolise who we are. This is why, for some people, hot desks and open plan offices create a certain amount of disconnect and dissatisfaction at work.?? The desire for something to believe in. We all desire a framework of values in our lives, values we can live by. If the organisation we work for has integrity, it can form an important part of our value set. The desire to connect. Not only do we feel connected to people around us at work through everyday interactions, we also use work to connect deeper to ourselves. For some people their work is an expression of their self. ? The desire to feel useful. The one thing we least want to hear ourselves described as is ‘useless’. Wanting to be useful is fundamental to being part of society. This is the reason that people pull together in times of disaster to help complete strangers… to feel they are doing something useful. The desire to belong. According to Hugh, we are both ‘herd animals’, and ‘tribal creatures’. We like to feel part of a group, as well as part of something bigger. The best workplace contains rich gratification through both a small herd (work group) and the sense of being a part of the company, the tribe. The desire for control. Hugh believes this desire is the one most likely to get us into trouble. Humans are by nature uncontrollable. The only person we can control is ourselves. --- rebooting... here's what's open: - http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx - http://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.htmlhttp://blogs.hbr.org/ideacast/2011/03/post-traumatic-growth-and-buil.html - http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/25/magazine/post-traumatic-stresss-surprisingly-positive-flip-side.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1& - http://freecbthandouts.com/ - http://www.pitneybowessmallbusiness.com/rate-change-2013.html?trk=iEntry - http://www.cabbagetreesolutions.com/designing-services/logo-designs/ - http://success-dynamics.org/crisis-of-credibility-using-emotional-intelligence-to-be-believable - http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/01/sometimes_negative_feedback_is.html#comment-780725841 - http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/01/sometimes_negative_feedback_is.html#comment-780725841 - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201301/mentoring-youth-matters (all returned) nappage 1:19 PP = 2834 -41 1SC -36 Safeway (jt card expired) -143 USPS -40 Head-to-Head, Sean -54 Cliff House Rest. PR and Josh -41 USPS -36 SRPD Subscription, for Tom --- The tongue has no bones, but it's strong enough to break a heart. Be careful with your words. --- TWITTER CEO: 'Managing By Trying To Be Liked Is The Path To Ruin' Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-difference-between-empathy-and-sympathy-2013-1#ixzz2JmWRec1R The difference between empathy and sympathy is one that's lost on many people. Empathy is just recognizing someone else's emotions. Sympathy is usually a reaction. When it comes to management, that's a critical difference. Empathy is fine. Sympathy, according to Twitter CEO Dick Costolo, can be a problem, because it often means you're just trying to be liked. It's fine to disagree with senior people. It's also fine to be persuaded by them. It's not fine to make up excuses. "There's no better way to undermine your own leadership," Costolo said in a November conversation with Ben Horowitz hosted by Fast Company. Here's how he summed up the distinction: --- 12:22 489-1428 --- Tracy and Sean over for Tracy to check out Mom's clothes she didn't want took another CC payment thru my phone, super-fast, and wonderful (except there's nowhere to put their shipping address) --- 3:47 Yes, Marcie, I got it, and I'll get on it today or tomorrow morning for a first draft. Have a good weekend - Matt --- Hi Matt, Just checking that you received everything OK for the E-Blast and you're on it! Marcie --- Applebee's social media meltdown http://rlstollar.wordpress.com/2013/02/02/applebees-overnight-social-media-meltdown-a-photo-essay/ --- 4:09 Six Qualities that Make You a Good Mentor for Youth http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201301/mentoring-youth-matters Most studies have focused more on the effects of mentorship on youth and less on what adults actually do in their role as mentors. But in my interviews with more than 40 young people who were mentored by adults, some common and important themes emerged. Young people agreed that you are more likely to influence their life path if you possess the following six qualities: 1. You are Supportive By far, the most important role of a mentor is to support and encourage young people, particularly as they struggle to overcome obstacles and solve problems. When young people feel down, upset with their families, or unhappy in their life situations, mentors are beside them, letting them talk about anything and reminding them of their innate value. 2. You are an Active Listener Mentors listen first and speak last. Many teens mentioned how little they feel listened to by most adults. Often, they feel inferior even when they have good ideas. But mentors are different. They always listen, even when they are not obligated to do so. 3. You Push -- Just Enough As parents can attest, most teens don’t respond well to being pushed out of their comfort zones, particularly within families. But teens really like to have high expectations set for them – both academically and personally. They appreciate when mentors push them beyond what they may have imagined they could accomplish. In fact, this is likely the reason why mentored youth from disadvantaged backgrounds are twice as likely to attend college. 4. You Have Authentic Interest in Youth as Individual Teens can tell the difference between adults who are authentically interested in them as individuals and those who are just playing a role. Mentors engage youth to understand all aspects of their lives and interests. They value young people’s ideas and honor their changing feelings and moods. 5. You Foster Self Decision-Making Good mentors don’t judge young people or impose their own beliefs on them. Instead they remind teens who they are and help them believe they have the insights to make good choices. Knowing they are not being judged helps young people think through decisions critically, sifting through the deeper values that will inform the adults they become. 6. You Lend Perspective Adult mentors provide perspective to young people from their additional years of life experience. When obstacles seem overwhelming, mentors help put those challenges in perspective. They also help young people see both sides of a situation, helping model the skills of positive skepticism. --- 5ish No water in house (or very, very little, actually) paula removed fuses and let the water fill the hole... no luck runs for 5-6 sec, then stops... every time. :( went to town to see if it's the fuses... met Russ Hewitt, electrician... no, it's not the fuses. Safeway, new Wells Fargo card Papa Murphy's for pizza (and new card didn't work) Harvest for carob peanuts with Ryan... yum pizza home put fuses back in, but turned lever off so the tank might fill. called Russ --- 6:27 came back, put fuses back in, but turned lever off so the tank might fill. --- Karen, (sorry for putting the wrong date in the call for Assistants) no worries, mate! Hey, I know you're feeling overloaded, and in respect of your request to do less during your practicum, would you like me to take over for awhile sending the notices to assistants? If so, copy all the names and paste them into the body of an email to me. If you wanna keep sending these each class, cool. How'd your practicum meeting go the other night? You'll do just dandy! - Matt --- renewing CA Driver's License online www.dmv.ca.gov mperelst / 2gh Item Name: Drivers License Renewal Driver License Number: C6510685 Renewal Fee: $32.00 Date and Time of Transaction: 02/02/2013 06:46:37 PM Credit Card Authorization Number: 766810 Total Fee Paid: $32.00 --- 6:50 Russ Hewitt coming over not electrical (no charge) and not the pump, nor lack of water he pulled off pvc plug near pump and it gushes out... for 5 secs. prob. regulator switch --- pizza, and salad temporary filling fell out, Dentist Tuesday 8:30 MFF eblast What’s Better Than Dinner and a Movie? Dinner and 11 Movies! Saturday, February 16, MFF presents an encore presentation of the wildly popular 11 short films on love from our 2012 Festival, titled All We Need is Love. --- 10 Things Thriving Leaders Need to Know http://clomedia.com/articles/view/10-things-thriving-leaders-need-to-know Knowing yourself, your people and how to influence are among the most vital leadership skills needed for 2013. Well-run, thriving organizations happen on purpose, not by accident. Therefore, leaders need to master 10 things for their organizations to thrive. Gaining these competencies requires real commitment by leaders and their organizations -- a kind of commitment that leads to a high-performance culture, greater customer loyalty and, ultimately, a more robust bottom line. Know yourself and your impact. Just as the saying goes, “First love yourself, then you can love others,” so it goes with leadership. When leaders understand their own strengths, challenges and their impact on the people around them, they can adjust and shift to the needs and people of the situation. Without self-awareness, few other competencies gain traction. Know your people. Each person is motivated intrinsically and extrinsically by a variety of things linked to personal values and beliefs. Most people are motivated by genuine appreciation. Any number of factors come into play — family, money, status, challenge, team members, responsibility, etc. The leadership challenge is to discover what works for whom. Leaders can only know the answer to this by taking the time to really know their people — style, what engages, interests and motivates them to deliver the best work. Trying to take one-size-fits-all approach is a non-starter. It takes less time, but it gets lousy results. Know your stuff. People expect their leader to have enough knowledge to guide them well. For leaders then, there are two important skills sets to have: technical and leadership. Leaders can be successful having fewer technical skills than their team when they lead well. Technical experts with no leadership skills will not be successful in a leadership role, regardless of how smart they are or how much they know about their discipline. The skill sets are opposite. Know your organization and how to influence it. Great leaders lead through influence far more than authority or a heavy hand. To do that well, one must understand the myriad of interconnected relationships and networks at play at any one time. Knowing how to communicate, get things done and make decisions within the culture at hand will make or break a leader in his or her role. Know your customers. Everyone has customers, regardless of the business — for-profit, nonprofit, education, health and government. Great leaders continuously scan, ask and educate their customers, learning what they know and value versus what the organization is delivering, and then close the gaps where they exist. Only the arrogant leader assumes he or she “knows better” what the customer needs or wants than the customer does. Know your boss and your peers. The networks and protocols within every culture drive how decisions are made and how well work gets done. To get work done well, leaders need to tap into the knowledge, skills and abilities of both their boss and their peers. Depending on direct reports and a few insider pals alone is a sure-fire way to lose influence. Know your vision, mission and values. And know what they mean. This is true on both the personal and organizational levels. Mission equals purpose and reason for being; vision equals a passionate dream for a future state; and values equals how people are expected to behave in carrying out the mission and striving for the vision. Good decision making relies on being very clear about, and focused on, these three key elements to organizational and personal success. Know your change process, use and communicate it. More than 70 percent of change efforts fail in the U.S. A key reason for this is not poor logistics or bad ideas, but poor planning and process. Many leaders push versus pull change through their organizations. This is a fatal mistake. When people are not on board, there is little buy-in, and lots of resistance, even for positive changes. Know your decision-making process. Most people can live with decisions when they know who the decision maker is and how and when the decision will be made. Leaders who fail to decide well confuse their people and disrupt their business. Know how to build and maintain great teams and facilitate great meetings. Few leaders are trained in facilitation skills for groups or teams. Every meeting needs to be planned and facilitated well, or a lot of time and energy are wasted. Teams need to be developed, led and monitored continuously. Great leaders understand and appreciate this and either develop or add these skill sets to ensure their team’s time is maximized. --- 9:50+ FB-IM with Gwen re: raising Euc prices Gift Certs: PayPal Merch Services My Saved Buttons (on right) .01 - 12.99 7 12-19.95 11 20 - 29.99 14 30 - 49.99 24 50+ 33 5lb. sub: J4PD28PX8N4FA redid gift certs raised all prices, incl. subscriptions changed wording on site and chatted about getting hurt/burned/broken bones... shared pix! 11:45 crash, first on coach, snuggled with Bella (hard on the neck!) --- 2.3 (SuperBowl today -- go 9ers!) then to bed, with 4 animals around 03:55 woke up by Carmel cleaning himself... LI-EIN --- posted to LI-EIN quotes (comment #3,801) --------- mcp ---------- And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you." - Khalil Gibran --- >> ask Russell for a spare switch(he's got everything) >> see if there are switches in town >> call Superior pump --- 04:11 Hidelisa Hidy dela Victoria sent us a Happy Chinese New Year card. Thank you very much, Hidelisa! Very thoughtful of you! Me and my family wish you and your family the best, as well! Take care and thanks again. - Matt --- Be. Believe. Become. --- 1 new sub yesterday (pd 3 mo. in advance via money order) 1 lost sub today - Oh no, Joe, sorry to see you go! Is it something I did, or didn't do, that's causing you to leave? If so, please give me another chance. If not, I hope things are well for you and yours. Thank you for your business. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. Take care. - Matt www.EucProducts.com - Phew -- yay! Glad things are Ok! notes: a. Leaves last longer in the freezer, if you have room. b. If you ever need to skip a month again, just let me know and when your subscription comes thru, I'll just refund it immediately, without having to cancel and start over. c. You rock! Talk to you again soon. Best wishes with your little dudes/dudettes! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: painizcheap@yahoo.com's subscription to Eucs - 1 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled] From: Joe Date: Sun, February 03, 2013 4:48 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Not at all your products have been great! I'm just not using them that much unfortunately, I still have over a full bag of leaves left in the fridge from last months order. I'll be back don't worry! I actually might be getting some additional gliders soon and if so I'll actually make use of it in full. Once I clear out everything I'll be back, most likely this month, just didn't want to have another box of euc come in and go nuts with it. Thanks a bunch Matt! - Joe - , calendar Constance Moss's Mar-2 and Apr-2 orders, 1/2L allowed popups on e --- 04:47 Erika Friedman's site http://www.erikafriedman.com/index.html writings (Kindle) http://www.amazon.com/Erika-Friedman/e/B00B0JD75U --- no water to house ,bypass regulator switch somehow, to fill tank? don't flush! --- , docs to cynthia DPR-OHV_20111211.zip (149Mb) to OFF\MyApps\Caltrans_DPR , LBL (yikes) , cut orders BEFORE superbowl , write to Buck about his daughter in class --- 05:49 FB-MCP Only 9 hours left 'til game time! Go 9ers!!! http://www.nfl.com/superbowl/47 http://www.49ers.com/ --- 07:15 nap, 15+5 07:47 sent to Nykia, Shane and Gloria • The mission and objectives of the organization. 2GetHelp's mission is to make a fundamental shift in human consciousness, to change the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional training (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe. As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional management and basic life-skills. As a result, we make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information, leading to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, school shootings, even war -- all largely due to our inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We believe that with inexpensive education, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, these concepts and skills can effect large-scale change. 2GetHelp's objective is to reduce the world's social problems through EQ awareness, education and collaboration. By garnering the many existing right-brain-centered resources together through cooperation and collaboration, leading the charge toward balancing our left- and right-brain knowledge and wisdom, and teaching emotional literacy to the masses, we plan to spread EQ as the antidote to violence, abuse, seperation and hatred. We will be a hub for compiling research, best practices, assessments and expert trainers and will build the most effective emotional training and support network ever created, blanketing the planet with 24x7x365 emotional training and support -- provided by both peers (volunteers) and pros (caregivers) -- via multiple access points in-person, on-line, by-phone and through mobile technologies. This network and resources will provide critical emotional support, meaningful employment and volunteer opportunities, and substantial income potential, so we can combat the violence, the insanity of war, the separateness between countries and peoples. --- Armando, owner of Superior Pump had the Part!! went to his house in Cleone, across from the sand dunes, to pick it up Safeway for chili dog makings, with doggies home in, BOOM, water! watched Precarious333's video on Orchid Mantis nymph hatching... wow. then world record ski jump... 247m... > 1000' damn. --- 11:15 “The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is. - Winston Churchill” --- Emotional Intelligence in Sport http://www.athleteassessments.com/articles/emotional_intelligence_in_sport.html?goback=.anp_1928302_1359893502666_1 intrapersonal intelligence (understanding yourself) and interpersonal intelligence (understanding others). --- Yes, I/we understand, Karen.... you are sooo busy now (PLUS your fibermyalgia).. you have an amazingly busy schedule! We knew this was coming, as you warned us. Of course, we're going to miss you horribly!!! ... that's why I asked for your list of the assistants' names. And I asked Linda-Lou Wall if she would help do some of your duties this next weekend, and she agreed. Unfortunately, she won't be at class on Friday night (bummer), but I'm hoping to get her started/trained up a bit. You have been amazing, and as you know, we VERY much appreciate all you've done. We'll make the transition as smooth as possible. Paula has diplomas and roses, and glad to hear about the extra hearts. We'll get binders and print out the pages. Do I have the latest binder pages... or do you want to send me the file? You're right... we shoulda planned for this better... but we'll manage. Thanks. Hope you get some rest this weekend. - Matt --- Superbowl nope. 31-34 Orders with Sarah B. and Travis took them home 11:30 to couch --- 2.4 05:30+ Conflict should always be met with open ears and an open heart. We should all aim for three positive thoughts to each negative one. You can train your brain to be more cheerful. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson "Weakness of attitude become weakness of character." - Albert Einstein Communication is "a meeting of meaning between two people". --- 06:39 Lourie Brown Hey Matt, I need to fax over the forms for Brett & Nikki tomorrow. Also, I wanted to know if you would be willing to take 150.00 next weekend, and 150.00 the following month? Please let me know & don't forget your fax number. Thank you for letting me vent and feel frustrated and protective. I can't imagine the head ache all this drama caused for you & Paula. I have had sometime to think & mellow out. And I am writing a letter to Chris explaining a lot. It is my hope that she will be able to hear & understand the spirit in which it is written. And I do hope that there is some healing. We will see, but this should never be an issue for you & Paula, that's not fair to put the program in the middle. We should ALL be able to attend and have it be safe for everyone. But thanks for being there, and thank you for all you & Paula do to help our family. Have a great superbowl sunday :o) Lourie - Hi you. Yes, those payment arrangements are fine. Are you and Megs coming to class? I think you're handling this all very well, under the circumstances... thanks for your concern for us. I'll need to get you a dif. fax number as I'm leaving home for the week in an hour and won't be able to get it from here after that. Stay tuned. - Matt sad about the 9ers loss! I thought the ref'ing was horribly one-sided, but the Ravens played well... and it's done now... :( --- 07:06 Speak for Business! — 5 Vocal Skills for Influencing Audiences Posted by Gary Genard on Sun, Feb 03, 2013 @ 05:36 PM http://www.publicspeakinginternational.com/blog/bid/171192/Speak-for-Business-5-Vocal-Skills-for-Influencing-Audiences How valuable are vocal skills in business? The answer is that nothing is more perfectly attuned to allow you to persuade, sell, inform, inspire, reassure, or build awareness or credibility. As the speechwriter Richard Dowis said, "Words convey information; nonverbal communication adds meaning to the information." That means using the color and emotion added to what you say by your voice, as well as body language and all the other physical aspects of your performance. Expertise may get you in the door, but to truly move your listeners, you require a voice that's responsive to those listeners' needs. (To use your voice more skillfully and speak with greater influence, download my free cheat sheet, "5 Key Tools of Vocal Dynamics.") Here are five vocal skills that are essential to your ability to engage, entertain, and enlighten audiences. You must accomplish each of those results to get prospects and customers to pay close attention, come down on your side of the argument, and keep listening as you move them to the action step that will make your speaking successful. 1. Full Breathing and Projection. To paraphrase a famous epigram attributed to the great English tragic actor Edmund Kean, "Breathing for life is easy. Breathing for speech is hard."* This isn't really true—breathing properly to support speaking isn't difficult, only unfamiliar to people not trained to do so. The reality is that most people breathe shallowly, while speech requires sustained sound that must be controlled. Speech itself is simply controlled exhalation, since it's air passing through the vocal cords that creates the vibrations necessary for vocal sound. Having control over your breathing means you'll be able to create whatever effects you want to through your speech: from whispered intimacy to vocal power. That, of course, is where projection comes in. To speak powerfully, you must have enough air for your voice to fill a room and reach your entire audience. Here's how breathing properly can actually "inspire" you! 2. Pitch inflection. Remember that college professor who delivered every lecture in a monotone? (If he or she read from note cards while doing so, you get extra points in heaven!) Having endured a semester or two of an unvarying vocal plateau, or being subjected to it now in the business world, you understand that nothing undermines an audience's interest so much as a voice that goes nowhere in terms of inflection. Inflection or intonation refers to the highness or lowness of a speaker's voice on the musical scale. For a skilled speaker's voice is musical; and someone who speaks with no range whatsoever is monotonous (from monotone or "one tone"). To speak successfully in business, you or the members of your team must vary your pitch, for two important reasons. First, your listeners require changes in pitch to continue to pay attention, since the ear, like the eye, responds to change not sameness. And second, you naturally tend to raise your pitch when you want to emphasize something. That means audiences will miss out on important points if they sound like everything else you're saying. 3. Vocal quality. In addition to projection and pitch, your voice must be expressive in terms of its quality. The points you make to persuade your listeners are not blunt instruments—they are often subtle, and sometimes complex, with nuances and variations of meaning. You need a fully expressive voice to make such arguments come alive. The ways we describe a speaker's voice make up a catalog of what we mean by vocal "quality": harsh vs. pleasant, soft vs. loud, reasonable vs. demanding, assertive vs. passive, nasal vs. mellow, young vs. mature, brash vs. mild, the list can go on and on. People will strongly and immediately get a sense of who you are and what you represent from your voice, among other factors. If you want to influence, you need this subtle instrument working toward, not against your goals. 4. Stories and Questions. To be a successful speaker in business, you must tell stories and ask as well as answer questions. In either case, your vocal skill must set these two important speaking tools of business apart. Each must be a "peak" that rises above the sameness of the vocal landscape that surrounds them. Here's how to add drama to your presentations so you stand out from your competitors. That is, when you tell a story or ask a question, it must sound different from what you say before and after. Usually this is done by raising your pitch (though you can and should change your vocal quality as well). If you do this, your audience will instantly hear the difference, and will pay closer attention. And that's exactly the reason you're telling the story or asking the question! When your story, or the question you ask, sounds like everything else you're saying, your talk or presentation will lack dynamics and be far less interesting for your listeners. Try it right now: Speak a few sentences from your last presentation, then tell a story or ask a question of your imagined listeners. Can you hear how this will help you capture their attention? 5. Perform! Have you heard the expression, "A rising tide lifts all boats?" (If I were saying this now to an audience, I'd make that genuinely sound like a question through a higher pitch, just as I suggested in the previous paragraph.) That's exactly what your business speech or presentation needs to accomplish: your performance must be at a level apart—a "higher tide"—from a mundane discussion. When you achieve this effect, all of your audience members will perk up, and listen more closely. Here are 3 additional ways to achieve powerful presentation skills. It is energy that supplies this special something that you need. Good speakers are conversational; but great speakers are electric in the dynamism they achieve. They are excited, passionate about what they're saying, and totally committed to get it across to their audience. In a word, they know how to perform—and great performers know how to influence others like nobody's business. * The actual quote is "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard." And here are 4 (other) easy ways to become a more charismatic speaker! Key takeaways from this blog: Your voice is the perfect instrument to sway business audiences. Proper breathing will allow you to project a powerful voice. You need pitch inflection to help your listeners engage and pay attention. Vary your vocal quality to allow your arguments to come alive. To give a great presentation, "rise to the occasion" with your performance. _______________________ Combine your new vocal skills with effective body language, and you'll have the "full package" of dynamic presentation skills! Discover how to get people to respond to you positively, and view you just the way you want them to. Download my free cheat sheet, "Dr. Gary Genard's 5 Secrets of Powerful Body Language." --- Emotional Intelligence in Sport http://www.athleteassessments.com/articles/emotional_intelligence_in_sport.html?goback=.anp_1928302_1359893502666_1 --- 07:10 3 more orders wake up paula shower pack and go... (11 days at home is GONE!) some good work done... but not as much as I had hoped/expected. oh well... keep going. 12:04 almost outta gas, fill in SR (went up 25+ cents since last I was here! :( to Tom's drop off food, chair, clothes. change shirts (sweatshirt to sweater) 12:33 ferry parking lot but still missed 12:40 ferry Lucky drive bus 70 to Van Ness and Polk walk 10-12 blocks to work 2:15 IMS --- The USPS now gives tracking numbers on ALL Priority Mail orders!! woohoo! >> announce this in FB, GC and AA! --- Euc Testimonial Matt, I wanted to thank you again for the shipment of eucalyptus that you sent. Libby, my SugarGlider absolutely LOVES it!!! She just coos, chirps, and rolls around in it. You will be hearing from us again! Eucalyptus is a MUST HAVE for suggies!!! Thank You, Tammy and Libby Via --- 6:01 out --- Peter Gabriel Big Time" my anger counts I'm gonna stretch my mouth and let those big words come right out. Scotto watch box, 4 watches showcase bid 100, 75, 69, 49 starting bid >> Get: copier paper cleaner spinach get on groups who do personal growth --- ~D-RNotes_20130204a.txt --- 2.2a D-R build, from mcp In no more than a 3 page proposal, please provide the following information: Impact • The mission and objectives of the organization. • Innovative solution description: A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan. Explain how your organization will improve on existing efforts and how your approach is systemic and unique. Be sure to describe existing programs and how yours will differ. • An indication of the organization's tangible results to date, as well as an explanation of how you plan to measure organizational outcomes and success in the future. Scale • An explanation of how the organization, over time, will be nationwide in the US or global (2 or more countries) in scale. • An explanation of the main sources of financial support that your organization will use to sustain your work over time. Leader • Please attach a standard resume for the entrepreneur(s), not simply a text bio. - • The mission and objectives of the organization. 2GetHelp's mission is to make a fundamental shift in human consciousness, to change the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe. As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy, __ management and basic life-skills. As a result, we, especially men, make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information. This fundamental breakdown, has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to our inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. EQ is already having significant, measurable effects on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. We believe EQ can be spread thru inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses -- these concepts and skills can effect large-scale change. 2GetHelp's objective is to reduce the world's social problems through EQ awareness, education and collaboration. By garnering the many existing right-brain-centered resources together, leading the charge toward balancing our left- and right-brain knowledge and wisdom, and teaching emotional literacy to the masses, we plan to spread EQ as the antidote to violence, abuse, seperation and hatred. We will be a hub for compiling research, best practices, assessments and expert trainers and will build the most effective emotional training and support network ever created, blanketing the planet with 24x7x365 emotional training and support -- provided by both peers (volunteers) and pros (caregivers) -- via multiple access points in-person, on-line, by-phone and through mobile technologies. This network and resources will provide critical emotional support, meaningful employment and volunteer opportunities, and substantial income potential, so we can combat the violence, the insanity of war, the separateness between countries and peoples. (stats on PG industry share/growth). • Innovative solution description: A description of the organization's program design and implementation plan. Explain how your organization will improve on existing efforts and how your approach is systemic and unique. Be sure to describe existing programs and how yours will differ. lead the charge manage, categorize, standards, best practices, social media presence create a worldwide network gather, disseminate and offer solution-focused resources research: experts / trainers / teachers / coaches / consultants / researchers / caregivers / writers / admin coordinate and collaborate provide awareness and training yet untapped market EQ is extremely inexpensive to teach. EQ is information, skills, tools, attitudes, lifestyle, awareness, shift in human consciousness, from clueless to aware, from ignorant to informed, from self-centered to self-esteem, from me-focused to we-focused. In reality, EQ is like magic! It's completely free, it's unlimited, it's profound and powerful, it's healing, it's motivational, it's loving, it's fun, and it works, creating win-win and social harmony. EQers tend to like people. --- "Much of the stiff we sell that's (mostly) all just a minor incovenience in the big scheme of things." --- bully - --- LI-EIN 16/6 ND Ok, guys, I'm gonna need your help this weekend. Paula isn't coming to class... it just didn't make sense for me to go from SF to FB to Fresno, teach, then back to FB, and back to SF (1,200 miles) by Monday morning. We did it before, but it's just not as fun as it sounds! ... and Karen's only gonna be there part time, as she now has 2 jobs, plus fybramyalgia (yow).... Sharon and Michelle will be off playing at the beach somewhere (stinkers)... Larry's in LA... Christine's not coming, but Christina is. Janie please join us, we need you! Glori and Gloria will be there, and Linda and Linda (and Lynda?)! Splat'll be there. Shauna's gotta work, Rosemary's got company, Kelly's a slacker (just kidding!). Debbie, can you stop by if you're in the neighborhood?! Patrick, Teri, Miles, Bruce, Buck, Daniel, Richard, Eric. Join us. We have a VIP coming to class, and I'd like to make sure he has a powerful experience this weekend. We also have young man who's really hurting and thinkng of ending it all... we need to love the heck outta him (luckily, he's easy to love)! I'm happy to say that we are still the lovin-est bunch I've seen! I monitor what's happening, closely, and I'm in a unique position managing he LinkIn site of almost 50k. We're unique. ND is unique. We're the only ones I know who get right to the Heart of the matter. What's buggin' you? It's probably from childhood. Let's dig down and find those core, original, first-time-the-kid felt them, the trauma, the pain (sorry, it ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done... much easier if we don't fight it and just let 'er rip... our body WANTS to release, Badly... we just gotta get outta the way, and LET IT. feel and release it, learn from it, understand it, discover the Belief Systems (bs) we decided about ourselves and our lives at that time, notice how we've proving ourselves Right about that bs since then, DECIDE if we wanna keep doing that or NOT, oh, and when you Also, I have something to work on this weekend. I've been realizing/feeling/digging the last few months on having not been touched much as a kid. My mom wasn't touched, or wanted (her mom told her that often), so she knew not how to touch/nurture/be there emotionally for us. (how could she, when she saw/felt/experienced the disconnect, and was never taught different eq). So, I'd like a big ole group hug from you guys, while I cry my eyes out about that, let go of the separateness and longing I've felt my whole life, k? thx. I was criticized recently for just wanting to make ND/EQ sound amazing and 'perfect'... it ain't perfect... we mess up fairly often... it's emotion-based, so there is always gonna be drama and hurt feelings to mend. but I believe my/our intention is pretty perfect. I just want you guys to feel better. I want to feel better. I want to teach others how to feel better. that's clear. (tears) I walk the streets of san francisco every day, and I see people in pain... both physically and emotionally... and I think... ya know what, I probably can't do crap for them physically, but by golly, I COULD help them feel better, emotionally. I really could. I can. I know how. We know how. It's not that friggin' hard. (some anger, too) If we're into it, and we don't fight it, it takes, what, 5-15 minutes, to get to the core of our pain, release it, redecide and come back refreshed, rejuvinated and with a newer, cleaner view of the world... sometimes permanently! Ok, maybe an hour if it's important for the person to tell their story... while the rest of us Shut Up and Listen... and accept, and empathize, and have compassion for... SO THAT the person tellin' the story finds acceptance, and empathy, and compassion for THEMSELVES, as a KID... and connects, often for the first time. Then, everybody's happy. The kid gets an adult, with experience and wisdom, to champion him/her... the adult gets the coolest companion ever(!), who FEELs a ton, and laughs and plays, and they learn to grow old together... a new BFF, someone who KNOWS you, who trusts you, who loves you, and you love 'em back. The adult and the kid... (and God/universe/spirit/country/team something bigger than us, some positive energy that draws us to good/fun/enlightenment/joy/success/oneness)... and boom... WE NEVER FEEL truly ALONE, again. yay, I say. let's tell the world, I say. now. --- 11:06 pause I asked you to change your tone of voice. You responded with hatred, disgust and vileness. You are the #1 harshest person I have ever met. I ask you again to change your tone of voice. You have very few friends left, and you might not want to allienate these two. - Matt --- when I come Back to something, it looks, and feels, so different. sometimes I trash it if I don't finish, usually 'cause I got scared, or got off on something else, it's sooooo hard to come back to. get the diagnosis to Learn, to Belong >> support groups by diagnosis research, if you have diabetes, you're reading like a maniac on the internet for diabetes so, let's do a Depression Section not too many, but a selection of Sections --- I sleep with my shirt on 'cause it's warmer. but also so I won't see. feel, experience my blubber. realness, right? --- realize it, real time deal with it, real time feel it, express it, release it change it enjoy it. --- it's not the food, it's the act of eating I'm gonna have some serious processing to do when I decide to stop this madness. reward, validation, stroking we're hugging ourselves by feeding ourselves we're providing the parenting that wasn't there if I can feel and release my non-touch, hmmmm... do it. Ok, guys, I'm gonna need your help this weekend. Paula isn't coming to class... it just didn't make sense for me to go from SF to FB to Fresno, teach, then back to FB, and back to SF (1,200 miles) by Monday morning. We did it before, but it's just not as fun as it sounds! ... and Karen's only gonna be there part time, as she now has 2 jobs, plus fybramyalgia (yow).... Sharon and Michelle will be off playing at the beach somewhere (stinkers)... Larry's in LA... Christine's not coming, but Christina is. Janie please join us, we need you! Glori and Gloria will be there, and Linda and Linda (and Lynda?)! Splat'll be there. Shauna's gotta work, Rosemary's got company, Kelly's a slacker (just kidding!). Debbie, can you stop by if you're in the neighborhood?! Patrick, Teri, Miles, Bruce, Buck, Daniel, Richard, Eric. Join us. We have a VIP coming to class, and I'd like to make sure he has a powerful experience this weekend. We also have a young man who's really hurting and thinkng of ending it all... we need to love the heck outta him (luckily, he's easy to love)! Also, I have something to work on this weekend, please. I've been realizing/feeling/digging the last few months on having not been touched much as a kid. My mom wasn't touched, or wanted (her mom told her that often), so she knew not how to touch/nurture/be there emotionally for us. (how could she, when she saw/felt/experienced the disconnect, and was never taught different eq). I think I can touch it now, and I'm ready for release. If it's ok, I'd like a big ole group hug from you guys, while I cry my eyes out about that, and let go of the separateness and longing I've felt my whole life, k? thx. i'd appreciate that very much. On a lighter note, I'm happy to say that we are still the lovin-est bunch I've seen! I monitor what's happening, closely, and I'm in a unique position managing the LinkedIn group of almost 50k pros. We are unique. ND is unique. We take EQ to whole new level that most have never experienced. I've never seen anyone go right to the Heart of the matter like we do. (have you?) What's buggin' you/not working for you/issues? It's probably from childhood. Let's dig down and find those core, original, first-time-the-kid felt them feelngs, the trauma, the pain (sorry, it ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done... much easier if we don't fight it and just let 'er rip... our body WANTS to release it, Badly... we just gotta get outta the way, and LET IT.) To learn from it, understand it, release it, finish it, bring closure to it... and uncover the Belief Systems (bs) we decided about ourselves back then as a kid... how we fit in the world (or NOT), whether we were loved/lovable (or NOT), whether to run and hide (or come out and play the game of life, full on!). Next, we see how we've been proving ourselves Right about that BS ever since, DECIDE if we wanna keep doing that or NOT, and change our mind and heart and begin to believe what we wanna believe, consciously, purposefully, wisely. adding IQ to our EQ and EQ to our IQ, combining our knowledge and wisdom with our feelings, passion, joy and emotion... and help each other make the very coolest, most loving, most successful lives we possibly can, together! I was criticized recently for just wanting to make ND/EQ sound amazing and 'perfect'... it ain't perfect... we mess up fairly often... it's emotion-based, so there is always gonna be drama and hurt feelings to mend. but I believe my/our intention is pretty perfect. I just want you guys to feel better. I want to feel better. I want to teach others how to feel better. this is what I want to do with/during my life so someday I wanna make a living at it. that's clear. (tears) I walk the streets of san francisco every day, and I see people in pain... both physically and emotionally... and I think... ya know what, I probably can't do crap for them physically, but by golly, I COULD help them feel better, emotionally. I really could. I can. I know how. We know how. It's not that friggin' hard. (some anger now) If we're into it, and we don't fight it, it takes, what, 5-15 minutes, to get to the core of our pain, release it, redecide and come back refreshed, rejuvinated and with a newer, cleaner view of the world... sometimes permanently?! Ok, maybe an hour if it's important for the person to tell their story... while the rest of us Shut Up and Listen... and accept, and empathize, and have compassion for... SO THAT the person tellin' the story finds acceptance, and empathy, and compassion for THEMSELVES, as a KID... and connects, really connects... often for the very first time. Then, everybody's happy. The kid gets an adult, with experience and wisdom, to champion him/her... the adult gets the coolest companion ever(!), who FEELs a ton, and laughs and plays, and they learn to grow old together... a new BFF, someone who KNOWS you, who trusts you, who loves you, and you love 'em back. The adult and the kid... (and God/universe/spirit/country/team something bigger than us, some positive energy that draws us to good/fun/enlightenment/joy/success/oneness), go out and make friends and create love and family, choose personal connections and boom... WE NEVER FEEL truly ALONE, again. yay, I say. let's tell the world, I say. soon. - it's about Emotional Responsibility it all STARTS with Emotional Responsibility teach it, show it, explain it, live it show people that THEY are in control of their own Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours show bad things happening, and people NOT reacting to them. show people hearing bad things, and NOT getting in an arguement over it. show people Listening, intently, and encouraging feelings, and crying WITH the person, and then Hugging. show difficult situations handled beautifully! show it done dif. Teach, show, explain. >> do some tonight. jot it down, the flow, and the point, and then record it. you have the camera. >> black printer ink funny story about hooking the printer all up... but I had removed the ink cartridges... of course. - PKP call EQ starts with Emotional Responsibility I am responsible for my own Thoughts, Feelings and Actions it changes everything blaming is a natural stage, until they get what they create, they're not going to move forward. No one has ever made you angry. we let them blame, then move them outta that, that's not going to get you new/better results! YOU are the one that's responsbile for your own results, Thoughts, Feelings and Actions Actions, implies one-by-one choices to do, say, think, act Behaviours, implies we do a Pattern of multiple actions over time ritualized behaviours, set in a certain pattern BECAUSE of the emotions your emotions have you doing the same thing over and over you don't get results and your frustration grows, ('cause you can't even control yourself!) you don't get the results you want. live with it, or change it. go back and work with the emotions recognize you have a part in whatever it is! (!!!) ex: that's where we're stuck sexually. I'm saying I have fears 'cause you have totally responsible for my fear trying to get me to do something about your fear be aware of when we're suppossed to be responsive taking saying no turned that into rejection I'm not responsible do something so we can passion and intimacy no win for me. so many rules, how I have to respond ritualized behaviours fear and insecurity no win for me. want to comply? like to comply, but totally give me up you want me to deal with your fear, when you're not dealing with your fear. our emotions and feelings direct our thoughts chemical precursors to direct our thoughts esp. fear and anger, lots of chemicals to our brain that changes things, it effects us. nasty cases walk in, my anger, having to keep it in check totally fogged my brain and exhausted It isn't my life This isn't right fired emotionally totally effected me all plans went out the window brain was totally clouded vicarious utter exhaustion, bordering on depression rebound from that much anger to depression, in my brain, i guess Feelings went up, Logic goes down chemical rebound didn't choose to do anything enjoyable not physically tired, it's mentally tired chemicals that we secrete, hormones consciously aware of the balance, make conscious choices full range of choices not my stuff. injustice in the world. chose to do what your body wanted That's being responsible for your own behaviour! It's NOT how tired we are. It's NOT ... It's really NOT our job, or lack thereof. It's NOT even how much PAIN we are in, physically. new moon, calls go up I didn't know I had permission to say NO. that's what messed me up I didn't know I had a choice You can choose to not do it, to not feel the panic of how do I do this! I didn't have that choice this is what it looks like to me if there's a rule, just be nice, determine that I'm not being nice. have no responsibility for changing it. bec. you're fear is so huge, you find something I'm doing wrong, criticize that, and it absolves you of responsibility when I'm trying to be very nice, not in the way you wanted, so why do I even attempt to be that wrong, when no empathy that I'm trying to follow what you asked for then, no passion, shut my mouth and withdraw, can't point this out. spins out of control I would take sooo much effort, and sooo much care, I haven't found an effective way to deal with it. I think I empathisize with how scared you are I've tried to be nice, but it didn't work. speech, what I've said is very dif. in your brain. tied in with mom, fear of women, inability to nurture does seem quite huge to you, 'can't get what you want from a female' I keep tons of anger in my penis. ------------- mcp ------------ I wonder how many molesters keep their anger in their penis?!? esp. people/men/women who have been violated. Ok, here's the scoop... I'd like us to get a few more students for this weekend. I'll keep trying, but can you help? Since there's already a bunch of reviewers (you guys) coming, let's make the class HALF PRICE, only $199, for this weekend. That seems affordable. I made a new brochure for you guys to give out. It's still not as powerful as I want, but it's better than the last one. Email this link to one friend, or print it out, fold it and hand it to them, someone you care about, and INVITE them to something that worked for you, it's a workshop about feelings, and helps us feel better about ourselves and our lives. Stuff we don't learn in school. Important stuff. http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/docs/NDBrochure.pdf People don't know they have choices, emotionally. They don't know that they/we can DO so much with our feelings and emotions. People don't know what do with their fear, anger, guilt, shame and Depression. People don't like themselves, and feel bad about their past. People are in pain, emotionally... and we can help, quickly and sometimes permanently. Please give the brochure to at least 1 other perosn. Even a stranger... you never know who's ready for a New Direction in their life, and YOu could be the one who makes the difference for them... just 'cause you cared. --- i don't need you to show me how I need you to love me thru it. real, with others I didn't know I had a choice! Happiness is a Choice! Love is a Choice! Helpless that I can't effect a change go out and do something about something --- Michelle Y. commented on Can trust be rebuilt? How? When is it damaged beyond repair? "Trust can be rebuilt if 1) there is a genuine desire to regain it as demonstrated by action and 2) the person who needs to engage in the ... "more… "Trust can be rebuilt if 1) there is a genuine desire to regain it as demonstrated by action and 2) the person who needs to engage in the trust is willing to accept the actions as genuine. If the person wronged has no desire to accept the actions, trust is not rebuildable in that relationship. This would be when it is damaged beyond repair. The only thing that both parties could do is learn from the experience and move forward. " --- I'm 83. Except for brief period in the 50's when I was doing my National Service, I've worked hard since I was 17. Except for some some serious ... health challenges, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn't call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it. I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to. I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries use our oil money to fund mosques and Madrasa Islamic schools to preach hate in Australia , New Zealand , UK, America and Canada , while no one from these countries are allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia or any other Arab country to teach love and tolerance.. I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses or stick a needle in their arm while they tried to fight it off? I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor. I'm really tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems. I'm also tired and fed up with seeing young men and women in their teens and early 20's be-deck themselves in tattoos and face studs, thereby making themselves unemployable and claiming money from the Government. Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 83.. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter and their children. Thank God I'm on the way out and not on the way in. There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference. ..Roxan Park "The sole and actual author (excluding the anonymous perpetrators of various revised versions over time) was former Massachusetts state senator Robert A. Hall, who published the original document on his personal blog on Feb. 19, 2009." I looked on Google and a couple of sites attributed it to Robert Hall???? Sunday at 6:48pm · Edited · Unlike · 2 --- ND testimonial I have had many feelings over the years about this illness, but luckily, I have great coping skills to deal with them. Also, I had the confidence and determination to find out what was really wrong rather than listening to doctors who had no clue. I have some of the challenging feelings, but recently mostly I have felt grateful to have an answer, an opportunity to get well, that I am as healthy as I am, that I have a good support system, and the resources to follow the recommended treatment. Right now, I feel some frustration because I'm having a setback after feeling pretty good for a few weeks, but again, I think I need to focus on what I do have. It could be so much worse. And the lessons I have learned, the strength and empathy for others I have gained - that makes it all worth it and I wouldn't undo it if I had the choice. I think I am a better person after these struggles than before. That is priceless to me. - Jennifer Stutzman (privately, ask first) --- EQ Skills Powerful or powerless It's about me, it's not about me trust faith love joy open or closed 07:51 Hi. (sorry for the delay). I'm sad for you, with the illness. (not sorry for, sad for, they're different) I'm glad, too, that you have such a great support system, and the tools to deal with it all. (I'm very interested in learning good ways to deal with physican pain, emotionally... it's a tough one, and it's such an important part of our life experience... and you're doing well with it, sounds like!) Sorry about Deanna. Should I send her a note here on FB, letting her know she's most welcome, or no? She could still come right up to the last minute. And again, know you are welcome, too, even if not for the entire weekend. k? --- 07:53 go... good writing of concepts good getting to the core of your own emotions, dude. well done. oh, and support by feeling/ disorder is a great idea! --- 08:20 ferry? nope... first one they closed the gate on. BUT, that means I got to ride the bus again! soooo nice to have the entire backseat! borrowed some paper >> get more, small notebook(s) Walgreens on the way to work bananas, disposable razors (cheapest, single blade), 4 scissors for $3(!) --- post in FB-NDG worked GREAT! Patrick's coming!, Glori is trying to get Troy to come others responded with love (and/or reasons)! yay p will prob. still be mad, but that's ok --- PP = 2882 -205 USPS -41 1SC +subs, but no new orders in past 2 days --- 12:54 Mike Duffy, IMS's new CLO Hi Mike, CONGRATS on your new appointment as CLO… that’s a cool title! I was also impressed by the My Career Information below that you sent out. I think it’s excellent that under your watch, IMS is “genuinely interested” in my aspirations, and I appreciate that! With that being said, I wanted to introduce myself, if I may... I've been a database dude for 20+ years now as a computer consultant and now as an employee. I've been with IMS/Medvantage/Informatics for 5 months now in San Francisco and I design/validate/QA 'measures' using our proprietary tools HealthSmart Designer and HealthSmart Manager (HSD/HSM). This is a highly technical position requiring advanced database management skills and data manipulation techniques (i.e. seriously left-brain cognitive analytics). HOWEVER, for over 25 years now, my wife and I, in conjuction with a experienced therapist, have been developing and teaching intensive Emotional Intelligence (EQ) classes and workshops for individuals, families and businesses (thoroughly right-brain). After working with thousands of clients, and researching anything I can find, I've come to believe that EQ is semi-magical in many areas of life -- including healing/mental health, healthcare, business (customer service, employee involvement/retention, teamwork, leadership, management, even sales), education, criminal justice and more. As you may know, significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could even lead to social reform around the globe. As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we -- especially us men -- make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we Think, we we don't know what we Feel, or how that effects our decision-making. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. But that's another story. Why I'm writing to you is that I believe my strengths are not being fully utilized as a left-brain coder, and I may be in a unique position to help, in that I have strong experience in both technical and inter-personal areas. I would love to get more involved with classes/training, career development, teamwork, whatever. Any ideas? Thanks for your consideration... and CONGRATs again on your new position! Let me know how I can help. - Matt Perelstein, database dude and EQ dude (916) 599-8597 My Resources: EQ Workshops: http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Non-profit: http://2gethelp.org/ Scoop.it: http://www.scoop.it/u/eqrocks LinkedIn Group that I manage (44,000 members): http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 --- 2:31 Hi Shruti, I’m teaching a class in Fresno this weekend, so I need to take this Friday off (personal holiday). Ok? Thank you. - Matt --- >> add to MFF mail list ccbise@gmail.com, per Ann and Melissa --- 1-2 DENTIST -- fun! fell asleep numerous times, so not too bad, ey? new permanent only (#5), and filled 2 cavities (#30, 31) white porcelin, looks very good pd $246 from EP PP --- Got it, Melissa. thanks! This time I'm outta town for two weeks (until Feb. 15), however, my wife and granddaughter said they might do orders for me this weekend. If they will, I'll have them send your order on Monday... if not, it'll be Friday... ok? Sorry! - Matt p.s. - can you put a bag of leaves in a freezer?? If so, I'll have 'em send you extras, to make sure you don't run out anytime soon. --- Hi Marja, I'm afraid I won't be home at all this week... back in town NEXT Friday, 2/15... sorry. I could talk to her by phone, if you wish, and maybe make some changes and send an updated file to you, if you want... I also saw that you're in a play, ey?!? I was posting flyers for the MFF and saw your name on another flyer. Very cool. When/where is it? - Matt --- pkp, from IMS EAP site February has been established by the U.S. Congress as National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month. Teens and young adults can become victims of dating violence regardless of their sexual orientation. This month is a good time to discuss the meaning of healthy relationships and raise awareness of the violence that can occur in teen and young adult relationships. The Web site dedicated to educating the public about National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month (http://www.teendvmonth.org/) provides information and resources to teens dealing with dating violence, parents, educators, advocates, and the media. It also offers a forum for those interested to begin or attend events aimed at raising teen dating violence awareness. The National Dating Abuse Helpline (http://www.loveisrespect.org/) is a national, 24-hour resource specifically designed for teens and young adults. The Helpline offers real-time, one-on-one support from peer advocates. An online chat option is also available 24/7. Stop Abuse For Everyone (SAFE) (http://www.safe4all.org/) is a nonprofit, human rights organization that provides services, publications, and training to serve those who typically fall between the cracks of domestic violence services: straight men, GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered) people, teens, and the elderly. They promote services for all victims and accountability for all perpetrators. --- >> EAP 1-877-419-1659 --- 6 out have a headache, faceache from the 3 cavities filled today. many shots. very little ouch, during (none whatsoever last time), but still, quite little. she's great and Jeff said I could do most of the work on tooth #5, and he'd bill it as last year's... even up to June! $332 to me, the Crown is the expensive part, but he said that could wait... up to a year! --- Ferry texted PR, AK, Bri, Sarah B., Josh, LJ, splat (crash on her couch this weekend?) Check from Tom to Tom for rent(s) Paula, no CDs 8pm Marc, to class? $399, $299 Abuse of power RingCentral $8.95 866-698-8920 FB IM to Lourie sent invoice for 90 to Ricci setup PKP's PP for a nice ND invoice Splat, CDs? no clue. --- Landmark Seminar Series starts Monday, Feb. 25, 7-10 ask Rebekka for a ride? --- 15 comments on my post! --- bandcamp 9:39 MFF eblast, LOVE 3rd draft, just Marcie --- Oh my, Karen... please don't stress... it's gonna be ok. You are NOT letting us down... you warned us, repeatedly, and you have STILL been there, way after it was comfortable/reasonable for you (esp. while in pain)! The guilt is optional, and not necessary. Many of your responsibilities are self-imposed. The rosters are easier to manage now that we're not including mailing addresses. You can do 'em, or I can. Same with the binders (Paula sent more of the white ones with me). We've had the Nov. class in Fresno since the FB class, so if you don't have the CDs, they must be there, in the classroom. I'll have Michele go check to be sure. It'll be ok... we'll get thru this. What else? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: NEW DIRECTIONS WORKSHOP FEBRUARY 11 -13, 2013 From: Karen Mabry Date: Tue, February 05, 2013 1:03 pm To: "" Cc: Paula Perelstein Ok just saw your post on Facebook. Send me list of students i'll do the roster. How many students??? If you not going back to FB I sure hope you have the music CDs with you. You kept them after Michele brought them to you for the FB class. Those are the only set I have. I will see if I can get the binders done. But truly this will be my last time for quite a while. I hate this feeling that if I don't show up I'm letting you down. Not taking care of my responsibilities. But then again are they responsibilities you have placed on me or are they self imposed that I placed on my self??? Maybe this guilt is for nothing and you guys can operate just fine without me. I mean I look at Sharon & Michelle p. do they feel guilty because they are not at class this weekend. No they are enjoying themselves taking care of themselves. But me I turn it into a big guilt thing and don't know why or how to change that. I am really struggling with these feelings right now. --- Robin --- What I feel most is that because I am open and available, the universe - the idea - comes to me. It feels a little like being called. - Toni Morrison good ND night Invoiced Ricci tried for Marc, and his wife, no luck “It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” - Lou Holtz chat with Tom about Harleigh, and NZ (he's been there 14x, wife's fam), and America's Cup (he's been to 2x) Frasier --- 2.6 00:12/12:12 Wednesday not that tired, just ready for bed. in a minute... Take 3 (or so) • The mission and objectives of the organization. 2GetHelp's mission is to make a fundamental shift in human consciousness, to change the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe. As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we (especially men) make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information.. we know what we think, but we don't know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems today -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. EQ is already having significant, measurable effects on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. We believe EQ can be spread thru inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, and these concepts and skills can effect large-scale social change. 2GetHelp's objective is to reduce the world's social problems through EQ awareness, education and collaboration. There are now many EQ-friendly resources that need to be organized, and focussed. If we could teach people how to balance their left-brain knowledge and right-brain wisdom, we plan to spread EQ as the antidote to violence, abuse, seperation and hatred. We will create a hub for compiling research, best practices, assessments and expert trainers to build the most complete and effective emotional training and support network ever created, blanketing the planet with 24x7x365 emotional training and support -- provided by both peers (volunteers) and pros (caregivers) -- via multiple access points in-person, on-line, by-phone and through mobile technologies. This network and resources will provide critical emotional support, meaningful employment and volunteer opportunities, and substantial income potential, so we can combat the violence, the insanity of war, the separateness between countries and peoples. --- whenever I do something bold, I think of you, behind me, cheering me on, being upbeat and positive... Thank you for that, Robin...(tears)... you've been probably my #1 cheerleader in my life, as you commend me for stuff that actually Matters, to me. thanks.I love you for being that way.I try to be that way for you, too. 'cause it feels awesome! like that email I sent yesterday, I thot, I should BCC to Robin... he'd love this one. (couldn't remember your address). I'll forward it to you, tho. I feel better about me 'cause-a hangin around you. <-- ultimate complement! ----------- mcp --------------- I feel better about me because I hang around you. >> Let's do #1's #1 way to: - not have an argument... speak about your feelings. Taking Responsibility EQ = Emotional Responsibility --- last saved this file at 08:02 I wasn't even dressed, and still made the 08:20 ferry (2nd to last one on... and it DIDN'T sell out today. yay --- Rebekah said we could carpool after LM Seminar series yay. --- LI-EIN Let me take the example of having been sexually molested by my father, Ambuj. I carried the pain of that into my 40's, when I finally confronted him about what he had done to me when I was 12 and 13. He didn't remember any of it! I repeated the refrain, over the hour we spoke (by phone): "I was not too young to remember; I am not crazy.....it DID happen, you need to take responsibility." After an hour, he told me that he still didn't remember (the chapter and verse incidents I had told him about), but it had never been his intention to hurt me. He apologized for causing me hurt. I accepted that and cried tears of relief. But the pain did not end. The pain ended--in an instant--when I had another talk with him months later, and said: "Dad, I want you to forgive me for all the times I've been angry with you and hurt you. Will you forgive me?" (He did) Then, all the pain lifted when I offered from my heart: "Dad, I forgive you for all that you have done and said that has been hurtful to me. Will you accept my forgiveness? (He did) Then I was free to say "I also thank you for being my father in this lifetime." No more pain. Happened in that short a time. What was the difference? In my parlance, it was that I accepted responsibility for whatever part I played in the situation (even if it was only "being there") and let it go. (In my understanding that our earth is a Giant School, my part really was that I had something to learn. I certainly would have wished a different way to learn it, but it was what it was--not something I could control. When I realized what I had learned--and had yet to learn--from this experience, then I could take responsibility for my part. I'm talking "souls" here, so don't let the fact that I was a young girl distract!) It's difficult to differentiate that the pain of childhood lifts in "minutes" because it usually goes on so long--over years. What went on so long for me, however, was MY not letting it go! (Ironically, my father had let it go years before--at least consciously.) At any time in those 30 years I carried the pain, I could have let go (I'm not saying I knew to do it, or that it would have been easy), and that pain would have been gone in minutes. Since I've been able to help others (as a psychotherapist) to know they can do it and have been able to lead them through the process, I know it can be done by whoever is ready to end the pain, and that it can happen in minutes. Thanks for asking! By Ilene L. Dillon --- MAC: Let's go for the 15th for sure. What time is good?? Earlier the better, as I'll be performing that night and will need a quiet break... In the meantime, if you'd like to give a ring to the bookkeeper to find out what she wants from the reports, that would be great. The thing she doesn't seem to understand is that the changes she wants can't exactly happen overnight. :) Her mind works quite differently, and when I spoke to her she was already frustrated with the day's events so it was difficult for me to discern her needs. She should be fine now, and I have a few ideas of what she's asking for. However, if you'd like to clarify with her that might be a good idea so our work is more focused on the 15th. Her number is 707-937-5818 x18, and her name is Virginia. The Chamber opera is what I'm involved in. It goes up the 15th-17th and then the following weekend, the 22nd-24th. Nothing big, but fun. --- Hi Michele, I received your order for fresh Euc Branches -- thanks! I'm outta town working this week, so your order won't go out until Monday... sorry... hope that's not too long. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- if eating subway 'later', don't get it toasted... bread gets hard esp. the ends, that are hardest anywayz got a CCC this morning, at a DIF. 24-hour subway (California and Drumm) but forgot the vinegar, and got it toasted and the guy/girl asked me everything 3x. it's almost gone... but not great. --- 12:30 - 1:15 lunch time chased $35 euc check (3 mo. of 1/2L sub) headphones won't talk (replaced, still don't work, got new ones at Radio Shack, with 1yr warranty under 916#!) dentist, new tooth formation. (can do, if you watn) copier paper at Walgreen's! (400x, $4.49) Twinkies ($2!, don't eat 'em!) pop tarts --- http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/wp-login.php admin / admin NOT! --- p called to yell at me about IQ + EQ = LOL !! in the brochure "so unprofessional" no positives, nothing else at all... just negative spewing on something critical (NOT!) p, try "Tell Him", by Barbara Streisand you have a lot of nerve to call me, at work, to blast about one stupid item in the brochure. you know how hard I've tried to formulate that new brochure, and that's all you have to say about it? picking on something totally irrelevant. You did NOTHING to make that brochure happen. I tried to talk to you about it a few times, and showed it to you and you would NOT even read it (tho' you read anything else you can get your hands on). and then you scream at me, with vile energy and judgement about one little thing. you did NOthing for this class, nor the brochure, nor supporting anyone, nor talking to Karen (who's a basket case), nor enrolling... nothing. but you have the nerve to tell me I'm doing it wrong. (oh, and you don't want to fight... what was the purpose of that phone call?!?) you sound more and more like your mom. totally, completely self-centered, rude, and even mean toward those (me) who are giving to you and supporting you. wow. apparently I didn't handle it correctly this morning when you told me you 'had tried to be nice, but it didn't work'... so you've gone back to your 'normal' self. not nice... to me... not nice at all. I'm supposed to feel safe with you... how?!? Yeah, I have fear issues, but you can be just plain mean. I don't 'risk' trying to make love with you because it always turns out the same way... you are harsh, and rude, and rejecting (and you know it)... and then you get pissed that I'm not strong enough to put up with all the crap you dish out. No thanks. It's not fear... it's common sense, after you've done it the same way hundreds of times over years and years. you're somethin' --- Outstanding ND/2GH Contractors: - Clive - Melinda - Lisa - Sliloh - Marshall - Gloria? - MCTV - Sean --- Gloria's Rick just backed outta class. damn. sorry. --- Doc, we're having class this weekend. Did you want to put someone in from Huge Group, like we used to. Rather than the drawing, you can just pick someone. - Matt --- when training, it's often sooo much better to ask the student to try and figure out the answer, rather than Telling 'em the answer. Only takes a few secs and could make all the dif! --- Actually, your explanation was quite helpful. We have over 300 trees, so there are super-straight branches with very little character, or some really pretty, or cool branches with tons of character. We'll see what we can do to find you an interesting branch, so you can make it 'come alive'. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Payment received from michele_jakoulov@hms.harvard.edu From: Michele Jakoulov Date: Wed, February 06, 2013 1:58 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" It's a little complicated to explain, but (and at the risk of "too much information") I will try! I am going to use it to create what is know as a "Twisted Hair" talking stick. In native cultures, a twisted Hair is a storyteller. This stick is for someone to hold while allowing a story to come and flow through them. It turns out that eucalyptus is a wonderful wood for this. So- I am looking for a branch that has some character to it (so I don't really need the leaves, but do not necessarily need, nor want a perfectly smooth branch, either), as part of the talking stick is finding where its "heart" is, and I suspect that a stick that is not completely uniform will better reveal that than one that is totally smooth, so I thought having the pieces/places where side branches connect will give me something to work with. Probably not what you were expecting! Cheers, Michele --- Hi Daisy, any chance of us getting a bonus this year? How does that work? Thanks. - Matt --- 6 out the most actual measure dev done in 1 day, since I've been at IMS. --- Marin B no Chocolate or Blonde Stout and Raspberry (half-n-half) and try Porter and Peach, someday Gloria Ricci not talking to paula Round Table for salad bar (2x) and American Idol - 10:03 LI-EIN Promotion EQ starts with Emotional Responsibility! The true power of life starts when we truly take ownership of how we think, feel and act... and realize that we're all really at Choice... then and only then can we take full control and responsibility for ourselves, our lives, our relationships and ultimately, our results. Experience the power, the freedom, the relief and the joy of enhanced emotional intelligence. We take EQ to a whole new level, where most have never been, to leave with emotional literacy, emotional healing, emotional release, and (eventually) emotional mastery. Join us as we learn from and heal our painful past, so we can live fully and completely in the present, and create the best possible future we can, together! - Elly Taylor commented on Life's Biggest Question, or at least one of them...Is it more important TO LOVE or TO BE IN LOVE WITH someone, which is the... "Octavia, my answer is both, and more. ... "more… "Octavia, my answer is both, and more. My theory is that relationships go through three main stages: Coming Together, Growing Apart and Growing Together, and that each stage requires a different type of love, or learning to love in a different way. We need the limerence from the first stage to bond us intensely because that bond will be sorely tested in the next, where the work is falling out of love with the IDEA we have of someone and starting to love them for who they really are. In the final stage it is to nurture a relationship by combining love with in love to form a passionate friendship. Interestingly, couples are usually going into the second stage, Growing Apart, at about the same time they start having children - consultants tell me that the number one problem in the workplace today is attention. People are distracted. They're in a state of what's called "continuous partial attention"... - Cynthia A S. commented on The Social Brain "Yassir, I love your response! I have been teaching this information at much resistance to many teachers who just don't believe it, for free in many cases and very cheap in other cases. I teach children this stuff so that some day we may have peace on earth truly! It is available to the massess if your looking for something different. It is not always called the same things but lots of things with same ideas. Keep spreading the news! It benefits all of us greatly! - 10:25 Gloria and I were talking about it earlier... the key seems to be in Emotional Responsibility! Once we take full and complete responsibility for how we (choose to) think, feel and act, then, and only then, can we feel fully in control of our lives! It matters what happened to us. It matters even more what we DECIDED about what happened to us, or what is happening to / around / inside us. I am through being the victim, and finished blaming others! --- 10:28 FB-ND The key to EQ is in Emotional Responsibility! Once we can take full and complete responsibility for how we (choose to) think, feel and act, then, and only then, can we feel fully in control of our lives! It matters what happened to us. It matters even more what we DECIDED about life, ourselves, our future, around what happened to us, or what is happening to / around / inside of us. I am through being the victim, and finished blaming others!! --- ----------- mcp ----------- The best way out of emotional pain is through it. --- Lourie I got Brett's CIS, thanks. He's gonna do well. It'd be cool for Nikki if she'd do one, too, but don't stress about it. I'm more of a hear-and-now kinda-guy, so I don't go too much from the CISs, anywayz. Yes, let's rock 'em like we used to. Very glad you're coming... you'll be one of the more experienced assistants there. Glad Patrick is coming too... for Brett, and for a lotta reasons. SYS (see ya soon, just made that up) - Matt - LJ Hi - Jennifer S Jennifer Stutzman Good morning. My niece is not Deanna. Deanna is a friend from work. You have not yet met my niece. She lives in the Santa Maria area. Deanna is doing fine. My niece is really in need of ND, but I guess the time is not right for her. Do you have any ideas about the next Fresno dates? I have been having a really hard time and have not left the house in 4 days, so there is no way I could participate in ND this weekend anyway. I know it is temporary and I will talk to my doctor today. I generally cope pretty well with all of this, but I have bad days too. It's probably 80/20, so that is pretty good! - yikes, sorry about the hard time. what does it feel like? what a shame, as you were such a go-getter... it must be a serious cramp in your style. Can you even drive? not sure how I got Deanna mixed up... oh well. We are having a class in San Rafael on April 5 (my birthday), so that'll be the next one. We're hoping for one in Seattle, too, in July, but that's a long shot. I'll get you word on the next Fresno class next week or so. Hope you're pulling outta that stuck-at-home feeling! --- 2.7 (Thurs, my Friday, off tomorrow, on the way to Fresno, for class) 06:20 you cannot hope to solve any problem using the same energy that created the problem. --- “Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis --- LI-EIN 21/8 Mind and Heart Foundation Some of our biggest opportunities and challenges, at home, at School, at work, in our relationships.... perhaps arise owing to our inability to express emotions appropriately or ... not express them at all - let them fester, build up till such time as they manifest in inappropriate and detrimental verbal / actions / behaviour. Can u think of a time in your life when this may have happened? The ability to regulate and express our feelings in a manner that infact moves us closer to our ‘real goals,’ is one of the Key skills of Emotional Intelligence. A skill we’re not all born with, but a skill that is learnable and measurable. Developing our EQ is meaningful and supports us to build the life and the relationships we seek. To bring Mind and Heart programs to your community / to enrol for our ongoing programs, write in to us at mindandheartfoundation@yahoo.in --- Thanks Hidelisa (Valentine's card) Hi Wilbert and Ray EQRocks! - Matt --- >> send 6 sec Case for EQ to Mike Duffy (with links, and point out the Healthcare one!) D-R Research, business case for EQ http://www.6seconds.org/case/ leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. Want evidence? Free eBook: The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence 2010 – review of current research linking EQ to improved leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. http://www.6seconds.org/2010/10/06/the-business-case-for-emotional-intelligence-2010/ Free eBook: A Case for Emotional Intelligence In Our Schools – review of current research showing how EQ improves academic achievement, school retention, and positive behavior. http://www.6seconds.org/blog/2007/11/a-case-for-emotional-intelligence-in-our-schools/ Study: Emotional Intelligence and Success – EQ predicts over 54% of the variation in success (relationships, effectiveness, health, quality of life) http://www.6seconds.org/blog/2007/04/16/white-paper-emotional-intelligence-success/ Study: Emotional Intelligence, Stress, and Performance in Healthcare (PDF) – EQ reduces stress and predicts 66-79% of the variation in performance. http://www.6seconds.org/sei/media/WP_Stress_EQ.pdf Research Summary (PDF): For youth, EQ predicts over 50% of a combination of health, relationiships, satisfaction, achievement, and self-efficacy. http://www.6seconds.org/sei/media/WP_SEIYV-summary.pdf http://www.6seconds.org/2012/02/22/talent-leadership-alignment-top-business-issues-for-2012/ http://tinyurl.com/workissues12 (goes to the link above) http://www.6seconds.org/business/ --- 11 Easy Ways to Finally Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking http://www.openforum.com/articles/easiest-ways-to-manage-your-public-speaking-fear-2/ Here are 11 practical tips to help you manage performance anxiety so you can focus on your key messages: 1. Reframe the questions you ask yourself. When you worry before a high-stakes presentation, you may have a tendency to ask yourself negative questions, such as “What will happen if I forget my material?” or “What if I mess up?” This form of self-talk is like throwing gasoline in a room on fire. All it does is heighten your anxiety. Replace these negative questions with positive ones. Take an inspiration from Seymour Signet, a specialist in helping people overcome public speaking anxiety. He advises to ask yourself: “What will happen if I knock it out of the park?” You can view more of Seymour’s tips in his video “Ask Yourself Good Questions.” Give this a try; it will calm the noise in your head. 2. Practice as if you’re the worst. When you know your material well, there’s a tendency to get sloppy when practicing a speech: You might flip through the slides, mentally thinking about what you are going to say, without actually rehearsing out loud exactly what you plan to say. This results in a presentation that’s not as sharp as it could be and might cause you to be nervous once you have 100 pairs of eyes staring at you. You can also forget some important sub-points and key soundbites. 3. Avoid this by practicing out loud and verbalizing your complete presentation. For a high-stakes presentation, do this at least five times, at spaced intervals, to encode your material in long-term memory. It’s also crucial that you practice your transitions—the words that link one idea in your presentation to the next. These are easy to forget if you don’t practice them and you end up with a staccato presentation. Transitions are the silken thread that guides your listeners through your story. Some examples: “Now that we have established …”; “This leads us to …”; “My next item is particularly crucial …” 4. Memorize the sequence of your slides. Knowing the sequence of your slides so you can anticipate and announce a slide makes you look in control. Nothing erodes your credibility faster than having to look at a slide to know what you have to say next. Being perceived as credible boosts your confidence and reduces your anxiety and the fear of failing. 5. Create a backup slide for some answers. One reason people often experience anxiety before a presentation is the fear that they’ll be asked questions that might be difficult to answer. Don’t get caught off guard. Think carefully of what potential questions might arise and rehearse your best answers. Go one step further by creating slides for some potential questions about complex issues. You can include in your slide important information, numbers, stats or even a pertinent graph or pie chart that would be helpful to the audience. If such a question arises, it’s quite okay to say, “I anticipated that you might be asking this question. Let me display a slide that will clearly show …” 6. Visualize your presentation. A study at Harvard University showed the value of visualization in developing a skill: Two groups of volunteers were presented with a piece of unfamiliar piano music. One group was given a keyboard and told to practice. The other group was instructed to just read the music and imagine playing it. When their brain activity was examined, both groups showed expansion in the motor cortex, even though the second group had never touched a keyboard. Visualization is a powerful mental rehearsal tool that peak sports performers use regularly. Einstein, who’s credited with saying that “imagination is more important than knowledge,” used visualization throughout his entire life. Take advantage of this tool and visualize yourself successfully delivering your presentation. Concentrate on all the positives of your presentation, and visualize the talk, in detail, from your introduction to your conclusion. 7. Stop seeing your presentation as a performance. Instead, as Jerry Weissman puts it, “treat every presentation as a series of person-to-person conversations.” The more you remind yourself of this, the more you can shift your focus away from the fear-inducing thought that you are required to perform. 8. Take some deep breaths. This simple advice cannot be emphasized enough. When you’re nervous, you breathe rapidly and shallowly. This is telegraphing to the audience that you’re not confident. Slow and measured breathing is a sign that you’re in control. Before you go to the front of the room, concentrate on taking a few, slow breaths. Repeat this a few times. When you start to speak, remember to pause and breathe after you make a point. Psychiatrist Fritz Perls said it powerfully: “Fear is excitement without the breath.” 9. Try “power posing” before the presentation. Harvard Business School Professor Amy Cuddy discovered that simply holding our body in an expansive pose for as little as two minutes results in a higher level of testosterone in our body. Testosterone is the hormone linked to power in both animals and humans. At the same time, the expansive pose lowers our level of cortisol, the stress hormone. In her TED video presentation, Cuddy shows a number of expansive poses, such as spreading your legs, placing your hands on your hips, or striking the CEO pose: legs resting on desk, and arms behind your head. You can apply this advice before a presentation to lower your stress level and give yourself a boost. Instead of hunching over your notes or BlackBerry, find a spot where you can have some privacy and adopt an expansive pose: Make yourself as big as you can by stretching your arms out and spreading your legs, or stand on your tiptoes with your hands in the air. 10. Pause frequently. In “The King’s Speech,” a movie about the true story of King George VI, one of the successful strategies the speech therapist uses to help the king overcome his stuttering is the use of pauses. Pausing helped the king regain his composure whenever he was gripped by anxiety. When you feel anxious while presenting, consider pausing more frequently. A few strategic pauses between points have a calming effect. 11. Come to terms with audience expressions. Your anxiety level is increased when you misinterpret the audience’s facial expression. In normal conversation, we’re accustomed to getting feedback from the listener—a nod or a smile here and there that signal approval. But when we present, audiences listen differently. They’re more likely to give the speaker a blank stare, which doesn’t mean they don’t like what they hear; more often than not, it simply means they’re concentrating on the message. This is especially true of audience members who are introverted. --- wrote to Sliloh re: NDW WP lockout --- just made it to 08:20 ferry sprinted across parking lot (unneccesarily, but still, it's the #1 exercise I get!) Kate, Mill Valley comedy, every Tuesday Thrackmorton theater. Thrack Morton theater. http://www.142throckmortontheatre.com/ --- MCP plans so... a. I'm committed/ing to work at IMS for 1 year. August 20, 2013 >> tell Sheila b. I am NOT gonna be a measure-builder the whole time! --- , typo to Josh Study: Emotional Intelligence and Success – EQ predicts over 54% of the variation in success (relationships, effectiveness, health, quality of life) - Mike Duffy Appointed VP, Leadership Development & Chief Learning Officer I’ve been working closely with Six Seconds, a multi-national non-profit headquartered in the Bay area, who is one of the leading educators of EQ/EI in the world. They provide a powerful business case for adding this important training for: leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. http://www.6seconds.org/2012/02/22/talent-leadership-alignment-top-business-issues-for-2012/ also, here's a link to a video taken at Google, during Dr. Daniel Goleman's presentation on EQ in leadership at their Authors@Google series: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k --- LBL Hi Mary, I'm (finally) getting to updating the FY11 PAD reports to FY12 (as requested below). In so doing, I built the FY12 tables by duplicating the current year's Effort and Account tables, then removed any data during 2013 (215 records... sound about right?) Did you also want me to remove the 2012 data from the Current year's tables? Next, I'll update the queries and reports to point to the FY12 data, for reporting. Thanks. - Matt --- The 3 Blind Mice Best Answer - Chosen by Asker Quoted from source below. "The 'farmer's wife' refers to the daughter of King Henry VIII, Queen Mary I. Mary was a staunch Catholic and her violent persecution of Protestants led to the nickname of 'Bloody Mary'. The reference to 'farmer's wife' in Three blind mice refers to the massive estates which she, and her husband King Philip of Spain, possessed. The 'three blind mice' were three noblemen who adhered to the Protestant faith who were convicted of plotting against the Queen - she did not have them dismembered and blinded as inferred in Three blind mice - but she did have them burnt at the stake! " - The trio of optically-incapacitated rodents. The trio of optically-incapacitated rodents. Notice the manner in which they perambulate. Notice the manner in which they perambulate. They all perambulated up to the agriculturalist's spouse who amputated their rear extremety with a carving utencil. Have you ever witnessed such a spectacle in your entire existance, as the trio of optically-incapacitated rodents? --- >> reply to Sarah B. re: skiing! don't take IMS laptop tonight get new ear buds? printer cartridge? reply to Mike Duffy! --- Hi Kelley, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack and Branches -- thanks! I'm outta town working this week, so your order won't go out until Monday... sorry... hope that's not too late. Any special requests? Thanks again for the order. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- any stress is a dis-ease in the body/mind/spirit/heart. continued stress leads to disease, in the body. - mcp --- 2:04 To: Mike Duffy CC: Clint Wolfe BCC: Josh and me FW: Robin, Gloria Mike, thanks for your reply! Per your request, here is more info on the many benefits of Emotional Intelligence in the workplace. We’re finding far-reaching payback for this training in the areas of leadership skills, employee productivity and retention, turnover, sales, and other bottom-line values. As you may be aware, Dr. Daniel Goleman has made significant progress incorporating EQ/EI into business and leadership training. Here's an informative (and entertaining) video taken at Google, during Dr. Goleman's presentation at their Authors@Google series. These presentations were started by one of Google’s founders Chade-Meng Tan, their “Head of Personal Growth” and author of “Search Inside Yourself”. A Business Case for EQ I’ve been working closely with Six Seconds, a multi-national non-profit in the Bay area, and one of the leading educators of EQ/EI in the world. They make a powerful business case, providing statistically viable data for adding this important component, and their white paper is attached. Clint – I would be very interested in joining your focus group, if it would be appropriate. Please let me know how I can help. I would be happy to explore any further involvement I might have in promoting EQ/EI at IMS. Thanks again. - Matt >> send D-R proposal to Chade-Meng Tan! >> make list of recipients --- snuck outta work for a minute... - got new earbud headphones at Radio Shack ($25, with warranty). The ones I got yesterday hurt my ears... and they keep falling out. - got a new #56 black printer cartridge at that cool office supply store on Sutter ($35, ouch!). Can/may return it. - the restaurant that CJ and I used to get cookies, downstairs on Market and Montgomery, is gone. - got a Nature Valley granola bar at convenience store there --- Yeah, thanks! I was surprised that Mike replied that same day... and he actually seemed fairly interested. He's the new VP and CLO (in Pennsylvania) of our 10,000 employees, so... thanks again. I'll let you know if/when I hear anything else. - me --- Hi! The students have been dropping (sad)... so I'm afraid the only students left are: - Brett McIntyre (Lourie Brown's son, Megan's bro) - Nikki, his girlfriend - Cary Parkins - Ricci Choate Assistants I know of: You Erika Gloria Linda Lou Wall Linda Vermilya Beverly Hatch Carr, beverlycarr1@yahoo.com (559) 906-1857 Glori Troy Patrick (yay!) Janie Christina Splat Lourie Brown Megan McIntyre me I have 6-8 roses with me, as well as 7 white binders. I can get more diplomas on the way, if needed. Where did you get the ND pencils... I'll order more. As always, I'd love for you to stand up with me... but I don't want to put more pressure on you. Starting Saturday, maybe we can have Linda manage the assistants, so she'll get some experience there. - Karen: I can do Roster Binders I have some pencils just not ND pencils I may have some diplomas depending how many students we have. I will check when I get home I have hearts I think we have enough name tags. Don't need a boom box stereo because in bring my iPod player I don't have any roses and do u want me to manage students or help you instruct?? Sent from my iPhone On Feb 6, 2013, at 10:32 PM, wrote: You're awesome. We'll find them! thanks! - Matt Which do you want to do? Binders Pencils Paper Rosters Roses Diplomas Monitored Students Managing Assistants Cake Hearts Music/boom box Sign-in Nametags Signs Paperwork --- Rugby 7's, Las Vegas starts tomorrow woulda been cool to go! --- EQ Theory and Practice --- >> send Lisa's proposal to Val --- >> food in fridge , bring stuff with (but not laptop) --- 5:13 (from Paula) Dear Matt, I have been thinking about this all day. I am sad and angry. So you can try to listen to my complaints and try to learn OR you can pick on my use of the word “you” or defend or get hurt and say that I’m hollering at you and try once again to manipulate instead of self-managing and be responsible for your actions. Yesterday morning I tried to have a soft and gentle adult conversation with you. You even said thank you for the way I handled the conversation. I told you that I really didn’t like EQ+IQ=LOL. You said that you would remove that. I even made sure that I gave positive feedback when I said I liked the picture. Not even one half hour later I found out that you had sent an email out without the phrase being removed. I trusted you to keep your word. Not make excuses and do what you wanted to do after our conversation. When I object to your actions your usual response is usually to get hurt because I “hollered” at you and become angry. You aren’t responsible for your actions, And getting hurt is manipulation so that you do not have to be responsible for your lies or self-manage yourself. You make getting hurt my fault and then you are justified in not facing that you have broken your word again. That system seems to work for you as you are then the victim And not responsible for setting in motion another decision made by the child in you. Bottom line is you are lousy at keeping commitments to me. I think that is because you put me in the role of parent and you the child who doesn’t want to ask permission and therefore when you do you have no intention of keeping your word. I am through with trying to have a business partnership with you under these conditions. I want an adult business partnership and am now convinced that is not going to happen with you. I have been struggling with this for years now and am through dealing with it. I am tired of the excuses and broken commitments so we need to find a way to split the business. I will not try any longer to be heard and respected. As long as I am being honest with you I would also like to state that I have a lot of fear that you will use the ND weekend to get people to feel sorry for you and support you. I do not think it is appropriate for a single instructor to ask for support of the group in an email. Please do not set up people feeling sorry for you to try to get help. I would really welcome a response from you about if this makes any sense to you. I am tired of being the one who is mean to Matt because I complain about so many broken commitments. This system does not get my complaints heard or have you be responsible for what you have created. Instead you want to focus on me doing something to you. I do not feel heard and you get to ignore my feelings because you are so hurt. This is not healthy for any business. --- LBL Helen Cademartori wants to meet tomorrow for 1/2 hour. Hi Helen, This is the first I'm hearing about a meeting, but yes, I can meet with you by phone tomorrow. I'd prefer the 11am timeframe, please. I'll be on the road at that time, driving to Fresno, but I can pull over and find internet somewhere, so we can discuss things in detail. What's your objective for the meeting? Thanks. - Matt --- 6 out for the weekend --- ferry new lights on Bay bridge (I-80), very nice! raining on north side new ear buds are GREAT! super comfortable, slide right in, and sound Excellent... super-clear, super-loud don't like the white/blue color, but hey... back to SR for the night don't even have to get up early. I've got ALL DAY to get to Fresno... nice! band boys are here down to 4 students Brett, Nikki (his girl), Cary P. and Ricci --- 7:44 SimplyInk.com 2-901XL 1-Color Grand Total: $61.77 sent here, to SR (where the printer is) got a small ream of paper for it 400x, 20lb., 92 brite and the wrong cartridge --- 7:58 LI-EIN “Humans are not ideally set up to understand logic; they are set up to understand stories.” - Robert Schank, cognitive psychologist --- 8:47 LBL Helen I understand. I've been purposely not billing ALL the hours allotted, as that often triggers an end of contract... and then additional funding means starting the ball rolling all over again with a new contract. Sounds like I should put it off a bit longer, ey? Fingers crossed (which makes it tuff to type)! :) - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: meeting tomorrow From: Helen Cademartori Date: Thu, February 07, 2013 8:37 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" I can not say at this point. Things are extremely tight. We should know more in a few weeks.... Keeping our fingers crossed that congress can pass a budget. --- 9:02 posted to LI-EIN EQ could lead to social reform, changing the world from the inside out! Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe! As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we (especially men) end up making behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we think, but we do not know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours (head/heart/hand). EQ is already having a significant, measurable impact on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. We believe EQ can be spread thru inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, and these concepts and skills could effect large-scale social change. What do you think -- can you see the progression from emotional intelligence (EQ) to emotional responsibility to personal responsibility to social responsibility, and eventually, to social reform? --- 9:19 Wildblue/exede 866-905-6768 customer service 5am-10pm MST phone prompts: 1, 7079629006, email, username @wildblue.net mother's maiden name: pomerantz mattperelstein@wildblue.net / 2gh .com is for the public .net is for customers cool(!) --- Getting 2GetEQ.net 2GetHelp.net 2GiveHelp.net 2SellHelp.net EQ-101.net MattPerelstein.net NewDirectionsWorkshop.net CABTtherapy.com not EQRocks.net :( Order Summary Cart Subtotal $121.36 Your Savings -$ 62.36 Total Discount 51% Order Total $59.00 --- >> pay for gas outta DU PP --- The minute I stopped caring about what other people thought and started doing what I wanted to do is the minute I finally felt free. The minute I stopped caring about what I imagined that other people thought of me, and started caring more about what I thought of me, is the minute I finally felt FREE! - Mcp --- What I think -- blah, blah, blah What I say -- hey What I feel -- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh What I show -- hmm. >> diagram (see WhatIThink_WhatISay.jpg) --- The minute I stopped caring about what I imagined that other people thought of me, and started caring more about what I thought of me, is the minute I finally felt FREE! --- ---------- mcp -------------- Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of somebody else. - Judy Garland --- I am not explaining this so You will understand it. I am explaining it so that I will understand it. I am not sharing this so that you will hear me, and accept me. I am sharing this so that I will hear me, and accept me. --- Val, Hi. It's been awhile, but I can assure you, I have NOT been idle. As you'll recall, we signed up awhile back with Lisa to do a 3-month marketing 'program'. However, after two payments, I got nervous about being able to pull off the projects she was suggesting, and asked her to wait on the 3rd payment and we stopped working together until I was ready. I wanted to get your opinion on maybe working with her marketing again, as I believe her marketing is both powerful and engaging, and she has written some of the best copy about ND that I have heard. (see attached example). So, she is proposing that we put together a complete turnkey 'solution', where I record video and audio to explain the class, people sign-up for their --- 11:33 Hi Lisa... --- 2.8 07:30 slept in, no alarm. nice. 07:33 Hi Lisa... I realize that these would be powerful marketing tools, and I appreciate your discounted pricing, but I cannot spend that much money now... and I don't believe I would have the time or expertise to keep that all going, once it was set up. I've had pros setup other environments for me, but I can't keep them going, so they just sit, unused, unwatched and unread. But, I liked your idea for the interview/powerpoint/presentation video...We need a way to 'explain/show/entice people about what we offer and what the class could do for them. Would you be willing to help me put together a compelling 3-5 min. video for $1000 (worth more 'cause of the $1500 already paid)? I'd like something that we could put on an inexpensive DVD, to hand to people, too. Let's do these 3, ok? • Creating a Powerpoint for webinar (including finding images -- crystal helps? ) • Use of my Instant Teleseminar account to host the webinar • Being there with you on the Webinar and controlling the slides -- maybe doing an interview format where I ask you questions (60-80 minutes) Thanks, I love your use of wording, and I'm sure we could come up with an excellent script. - Matt --- 07:44 LJ Thank you, thank you! So glad that's done with. So, how do the boxes look now? Can they be consolidated and shipped? yeehaa. - Matt oh, and how was your move? Better place? In Denver, or where? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: File From: "Medlock, Laurel" Date: Fri, February 08, 2013 7:12 am To: "chinablueblackwidow@hotmail.com" Cc: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hello Caroll, Attached you will find your file in its entirety. Please feel free to call me at 720-588-7237 with any questions. Thanks! Laurel Medlock | Veteran Certification Official Office of the Registrar Metropolitan State University of Denver Campus Box 86, P.O. Box 173362, Denver, CO 80217-3362 (303) 556-3975 Lmedloc1@msudenver.edu --- The past exists only in memory, consequences, effects. It has power over me only as I give it my power. I can let go, release it, move freely, I am not my past. The answer to control is practicing surrender. you best serve humanity by getting out of the coffee shop and the bookstore and into the street. "Each morning sees some task begin - Each evening sees it close. Something attempted, something done has earned a night’s repose." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow --- LI-EIN (44,031x) 6/22 There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion. - CARL JUNG http://www.iwebcircles.com/ --- posted in FB-EQRocks, LI-EIN, and FB-ND, 2 with pics Steps to EQ 1. Awareness There are two sides of our brain, and we've only learned about one of them. There are feelings, pictures, sounds, belief systems and traumatic, life-altering memories in my right-brain, and those effect/affect everything I do, think, feel, say and act. Feelings matter! 2. Emotional Responsibility My thoughts, feelings and behaviours are Mine, and mine alone. I created them, I can influence them, and what I do with them is totally, completely 100% my decision and my choice. Knowing this puts me in control of my own life, now and forever more! 3. Literacy I can learn to understand what I feel, where it came from, what it's called, how to differentiate them, how to deal with each one, how to speak about them, and thru them, and learn to speak to others (and myself) on a more intimate, heart-centered, empathetic, yet powerful, effective and authentic way. I can make things happen, create the connections I need and want, and live free by using both sides of my brain. 4. Mastery With practice, I can conquer and tame my deepest fears, my blinding rage, my crushing guilt, my darkest depression and my well of sadness. I have gained a knowing that there is nothing that life can throw at me, that I cannot handle, emotionally. With that knowledge, comes hope, and joy, and vitality, and FREEDOM to be, to love, to laugh and to live, to life's highest highs, with its wildest hearts, its enriching love, the solid feeling of truly connecting with my fellow man, knowing, beyond a doubt, that I belong, I am here for a reason, to join my fellow man, in helping the plight of others, so that everyone wins! --- Hi Matt! There are 4 boxes still. I have researched USPS boxes and for the large flat rate box is about $25-25 per box. As long as they are under 15lbs, it should be less than $20 per box. We may need 4 or 5 of those. I am going to measure and weigh them tonight. I don’t have $100 laying around-in fact I get paid once a month and I just paid to move us into this house and bought food. J So, if you can send me that money, then I will get them boxed, sent, and send the receipt and any extra left over cashola The move was rough. I had a few work friends say they would help and then they didn’t. So it was me, the kids and my gf moved us in two days. Oh lord, it was tough! But we moved to Centennial, close to SouthGlenn. It’s an amazing area (I am sure you know of it)…huge parks, tons of trails and outdoor activities, plus a really neat area that has old movie theaters, old time candy shops, skating rink, and lots of neat places for the kids. I love the house, and the kids are thrilled to finally be settled. Michael walks to school literally 3 houses down, has made a lot of friends and is doing really well in school! Evelynn is at a neat daycare 2 doors down from the house and is loving it. They don’t push school or learning actually- the kids just play, and that was really important to me. It’s very expensive so I am very lucky I am making decent money. J And Aubree is pissed she had to go to a new school, but she does like the school. I am having lots of problems with her-she is very angry and defiant and manipulative. I am struggling with her, but I am going to have her start talking to someone, and hopefully that will help. Love you and miss you guys! Laurel Medlock | Veteran Certification Official --- 08:28 Bruce Morris Darn... we just missed you... class starts tonight in Fresno. I'm in San Rafael now, heading down in a bit. Glad you had a nice time here, and with your fam! Glad you're staying in touch, too. We'll meet up again someday. 'til then, take care and keep smilin'... as Happiness is a Choice! l8r t8r. - Matt On 02/08/13 2:08 AM, Bruce Morris wrote: -------------------- Back in Stockholm trying to overcome jet lag. My schedule got mangled by a very selfish mother of one of my grandsons. I had less than 24 hours in SF & shared it with my daughter, Sarah & boyfriend, John who sqired me up, over & around SF on their scooters. Now that is a REAL SFcity experience! Hope to connect next year! --- >> get brochure printed, take to class, ey? --- 08:41 Hey Ray (Mathis), what do you say? (in high school, my best friend was Ray, so I had tons of sayings that rhymed with 'Ray' -- good memories!) So, wow, you're a busy dude... good stuff, too! "Emotional Karate"... love it... we call it "Emotional Aikido", as in Aikido, you never attack, but if someone attacks you, you use their energy to move the attack away from you. Great concepts! So, you find 'gigs' where they pay you to come in and teach EQ-type subjects?? most very cool! Yeah, I'll bet that training teachers would be the most gratifying, knowing they'll be spreading the good word to the kiddos, and beyond. We have our intensive weekend EQ healing workshop starting tonight. My wife ain't gonna make it (only the 3rd time in 25 years), so I'll be working with a sub (who I know well, and it will be fine)... but a bit nervous to have the ball squarely on my shoulders. I LOVE ND, tho, so I'm excited to go (4-hour drive, leaving in a bit). Glad to be in touch with you. Email to Hidelisa is cool... doesn't matter all THAT much whether my thank you gets thru to her, but hope so. nice of her to think of us. Here's something (below) that I just wrote last night / this morning... whatchathink... edits? See attached, as well, for a cool pic of Left-brain vs. Right-brain! L8R T8R... glad we're staying in touch. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hidelisa Hidy has sent you a Valentines Day Greeting eCard From: Ray Mathis Date: Thu, February 07, 2013 5:33 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hey Matt, This stuff always confuses me. I tried to send her a thank you too but I don't know if it ever got through. Never know if I'm doing it right or not. Good to hear from you. Was at a local high school doing "Tool Time" groups yesterday. And stop by the middle school to teach a young boy some "Emotional Karate" because he's being "bullied". Spent today presenting to 7 health classes an hours and half south of my town. Little hoarse by the last period. That's the problem being retired - I don't talk that much to keep my voice fit, and my wife certainly doesn't want me rambling for hours. Traffic was a you know what on the way home. Arrived in my driveway to find 8" of snow. Got two gigs at the Central District AHPERD on EQ in Jackson, WY Feb 23. Looking forward to seeing the mountains in snow. Got another one at the Illinois Counseling Association in March, and a third at the University of Dubuque Department of Education for student and cooperating teachers, and faculty. That's my dream gig. Have always believe we need to train teachers up for their sake and their kids while still in college. Hope all is well with you. Good day today otherwise. Good classes and got my PSA and other yearly blood work back and my prostate and heart are good for another year. That's always gratifying. Ray --- Very good article on Emotions at work! http://www.theemotionmachine.com/emotional-labor-the-role-of-emotions-at-work Emotional Labor: The Role of Emotions at Work February 3rd, 2013, Author: Steven Handel, Categories: Psychology Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the term “emotional labor” to refer to professions which require individuals to express certain emotions, regardless of how they feel. The idea here is that employees are often expected to display the right emotions to properly perform their jobs. The cashier or waitress is expected to smile at you and say, “Have a good day!” even if they aren’t in a good mood, or they couldn’t care less how the rest of your day goes. Every job requires a certain level of emotional labor. A good businessman needs to control his temper during a meeting, a good doctor needs to be empathic toward their patients, and a good flight attendant needs to be kind and respectful toward passengers. We don’t often think of these emotional aspects of work as actual “work,” but they do require will-power and energy – and they can often be just as draining as physical or mental work. 2 Types of Emotional Labor According to the theory behind “emotional labor,” there are two different types: Surface acting – Faking emotions or “putting on a mask” to display the “correct” emotions at work, even if they don’t align with how you actually feel about the job. Deep acting – Modifying your inner beliefs and feelings about the job to align with emotions that the job requires. The difference between “surface acting” and “deep acting” can make all the difference in your job satisfaction. When an individual’s emotions align with their work (“deep acting”), this typically leads to less stress and greater happiness at work. But when an individuals emotions have to be faked (“surface acting”), this typically leads to more stress, increased burnouts, emotional exhaustion, and sometimes even depression. Aligning Your Emotions at Work There are many ways we can better manage our emotions at work. Here are just a few simple strategies you can use: Recognize the value in your work. Every job serves a purpose, how does your work fit into society at large? Why is what you do important? Recognizing the value of your own work will give you a new sense of pride and accomplishment in your job. Focus on aspects of your job that you like. You can lift your mood at work by focusing on the parts of your job that you actually find satisfying and enjoyable. You may not like everything about your job, but usually there are a few things you will like. Focus on those positive aspects. Do the small things to minimize stress. Everyone needs to do certain things at work to stay sane and grounded. Small things like listening to music can help manage negative emotions and stress or taking a much needed break when you feel overwhelmed and need a breather. Improve your relationships. One of the keys to emotional satisfaction at work is building healthy relationships with our bosses, coworkers, clients, etc. Emotional labor is primarily concerned with keeping a healthy social environment; if you learn to get along with people better, you’ll have to use a lot less emotional labor while dealing with them. Find healthy ways to express negative emotions. It’s unrealistic to expect to have a positive attitude all of the time, but there are ways we can handle our negative emotions constructively. Know how to bring up your problems and concerns to bosses and coworkers in a respectful way. Brush off little problems by turning them into a joke or finding a funny side to them. Talk to people directly, don’t gossip or spread negativity behind people’s backs. Be less impulsive. We all have moments at work when our emotions are kicked into overdrive. But even in the heat of the moment, we have to try our best to control ourselves and not make a scene. Sometimes it’s best to not express yourself or act on your emotions at all, but instead just ride out your emotions until they subside. All of these strategies can help you become more of a “deep actor” at work rather than a “surface actor.” They allow you to accept your emotions at work in an honest and healthy way, rather than make you hide behind a mask or be forced to ignore your emotional world. Emotional labor is a real thing that we all need to deal with. It’s not always easy – it’s called “labor” for a reason – but managing our emotions is often necessary to maximize our own well-being, job satisfaction, and productivity. Find a Job That Fits Your Personality At the end of the day, the “emotional labor” of your job may be too much to handle. This is often a sign that the job is in conflict with your core personality. Maybe you have zero passion for the work you do. Maybe your boss and coworkers are toxic. Maybe there are particular aspects of the job that stress you out too much. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t torture yourself by working at a job that you absolutely hate. No job is going to be perfect, but you should try your best to find something that works with you and your personality. If you don’t like dealing with too many people, customer service probably isn’t for you. If you’re not good at math, then you probably don’t want to be a computer programmer. Finding a job that you enjoy, with people who you get along with, will do a lot to reduce the “emotional labor” you’ll have to invest to be effective at work. --- 08:47 LJ glad you got moved ok, to a NICE place! sorry about Aubree... will she be honest about her anger and 'deal with it'?? what's your paypal address? toodles. Off to class (without Paula -- yikes)! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: File From: "Medlock, Laurel" Date: Fri, February 08, 2013 8:18 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt! There are 4 boxes still. I have researched USPS boxes and for the large flat rate box is about $25-25 per box. As long as they are under 15lbs, it should be less than $20 per box. We may need 4 or 5 of those. I am going to measure and weigh them tonight. I don’t have $100 laying around-in fact I get paid once a month and I just paid to move us into this house and bought food. J So, if you can send me that money, then I will get them boxed, sent, and send the receipt and any extra left over cashola The move was rough. I had a few work friends say they would help and then they didn’t. So it was me, the kids and my gf moved us in two days. Oh lord, it was tough! But we moved to Centennial, close to SouthGlenn. It’s an amazing area (I am sure you know of it)…huge parks, tons of trails and outdoor activities, plus a really neat area that has old movie theaters, old time candy shops, skating rink, and lots of neat places for the kids. I love the house, and the kids are thrilled to finally be settled. Michael walks to school literally 3 houses down, has made a lot of friends and is doing really well in school! Evelynn is at a neat daycare 2 doors down from the house and is loving it. They don’t push school or learning actually- the kids just play, and that was really important to me. It’s very expensive so I am very lucky I am making decent money. J And Aubree is pissed she had to go to a new school, but she does like the school. I am having lots of problems with her-she is very angry and defiant and manipulative. I am struggling with her, but I am going to have her start talking to someone, and hopefully that will help. Love you and miss you guys! --- A Roadmap To Relationships How to navigate your social world and build healthy connections ($35) http://www.aroadmaptorelationships.com/ relationships Now available! What You Will Learn Your Relationship With Yourself – Advice and tips on how to first build a positive and healthy relationship with your own self, including how to build confidence, honesty, forgiveness, love, and gratitude in your personal life. Tools of Communication Pt. 1 – Verbal Communication – How we use language and words in daily interactions as our primary tool to communicate with others. Learn how to have fun, meaningful, and effortless conversations with others. This will be your first step in building healthy connections with others. Tools of Communication Pt. 2 – Nonverbal Communication – How non-verbal communication makes up a large portion of what we communicate, and is often just as important as the words we choose to use. This type of communication includes our posture, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, use of touch, and other forms of communication that aren’t based on language or words. Characteristics of Positive Relationships – The key characteristics that embody all positive relationships, whether with family, friends, coworkers, loved ones, or just random acquaintances. Learn about the importance of approaching all of your relationship with an attitude of reciprocity, empathy, equality, fun, kindness, respect, authenticity, love, and interconnectedness. These are the building blocks of all flourishing relationships. Learning from Role Models – Identify role models if your lives, then use them as a learning resource to improve various aspects of your relationships. By observing and learning from our role models, we can change the ways we think and act about our relationships. Navigating Your Social World – This section covers the broader principles that govern our daily relationships. I emphasize the wisdom that our relationships are always changing, and how we can identify the healthy relationships in our lives vs. the toxic and unhealthy ones. Resources – Additional resources you can use as a supplement to all of the advice in this e-book. Includes “100 Affirmations for Self Improvement” and “50 Acts of Kindness.” I also share a list of 30+ videos and lectures from psychologists, sociologists, and other experts on social psychology and relationships. --- How to Sell Programs Using Radio Interviews http://milana.com/newblog/2012/12/how-to-sell-programs-using-radio-interviews/ Milana L. --- PP 2GH = 357 >> send $100 to LJ PP DU = 830 cancelled invoice to Ricci PP EP = 2731 -8 GoDaddy, renewal of 2GiveHelp.com -59 GoDaddy, 10x new, 9 .NETs -61 LD Products 3x ink for printer in SR -27 EB Research ? -246 Dental Suite -27 RadioShack (to be returned) -41 1SC -17 Papa Murphys FB, with PKP -9 100 Sansome -38 Patrick and Co (print cartridge, to be returned!) + a few orders --- Do You Lust after a Rewarding Work Experience? http://www.kay-lambertassociates.co.uk/do-you-lust-after-a-rewarding-work-experience/ --- shower --- "The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of their minds" - William James "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity" - Seneca Roman “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.” - Henry Ford --- $100 to LJ from 2GH - PP for shipping of client files to the house --- 10:15 go... (to Fresno) - nice drive... no rush! In-and-Out in Fresno AM/PM vacuumed car OfficeMax made copies of the brochure, 5 in color ($1 each), 50 in B/W (20 cents each), folded (3 cents each) without IQ + EQ = LOL !! ($1) created/ordered Biz cards, too, for me. 250 for $7.99, shipped to home ($7.99) NDW, EQRocks, 2GetHelp.org Ice class 4x(!) Brett, Nikki, Cary, Ricci Karen stood up with me (and did good!) went well stayed on Michele's coach --- 2.9 07:00 (now on her PC, with Vista, nice) charged phone all night --- 07:31 How to change the world by concentrating on Empathy www.empathiccivilisation.com I have worked for this for many years, not only covering the educational area, but the whole society. I believe that in order to create pre-conditions to reach this goal you have to follow T Kuhn's paradigm shift strategy (1) Show all the absurdities of common life 2) Show a possible future and 3) Show way/ways to transform the society. You can find my views on www.empathiccivilisation.com. Please comment - also negative. By Christer Nylander --- Zig Ziglar talks about self-esteem http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iikC8daibmg True Performance "The ideal accomplishment of an aspiration, goal or objective that benefits everyone involved." everyone is involved in Sales! even a baby is selling The US was discovered by a salesman, even Christopher Columbus George Washington was an incredible salesman! had to The best sales people have the best relationship skills! ... and integrity if it's worth doing, and you believe in it, go ahead and fail at it... until you get better. Everyone starts out being lousy at what they do. can your product solve a problem is sales To somebody or FOR somebody I'm going to do something for you, thru this product. how soon do I want to start enjoying these benefits? pleasantly persistent start call with #1 benefit end with #2 benefit --- "Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." - Virginia Satir "You must do the things you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin Yes, it's all about the 150/650 rule: person A speaks at approx 150 words per minute, and person B has the capacity to hear/listen at approx 650 words per minute (ie brain capacity), so what happens in that 'gap'? Person B easily gets distracted by their thoughts (person A is boring, I wish they'd get to the point, I don't agree with them, when is this meeting finishing, can I fit in a grocery shop before I meet X, etc etc)... so person B is not REALLY listening... and the classic: 'selective hearing'..only listening for what you want to hear to validate your viewpoint... So, we have all been brought up via conditioning, to be poor listeners.. it is a skill we need to practice, practice and practice... I love the concept of listening for understanding, and not just listening so we can reply... - You're absolutely on right and on target Matt. If you look at all the things that go wrong in the lives of individuals, families, relationships, schools, businesses, society or even the world, you find they are either defined by, or caused by people generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion in response the their life events, and often what they do because of that, or in an effort to get relief from it. For example, we have millions with anger problems, anxiety disorders, who suffer from depression, low self-esteem (shame, anxiety) and too much stress. Like you noted, we have millions who engage in violence, abuse, needless arguing and fighting, even crime, including homocide. And millions who smoke, drink, use drugs, eat too much, starve or cut themselves, and take their own lives. Then there are all the problems that arise from such behaviors like obesity, addiction, divorce, and needless suffering and premature death. But it all starts with people generating more emotion than is necessary or helpful, more than they want to have, more than they know what to do with, more than is healthy for them to have, and a type and amount that works against them instead of for them. E-motion can be helpful energy to move. And that all happens because of what they think about what happens to them, has in the past, or could in the future. There's a lot we could and should be doing that we currently are not. Schools would be a great place to really press for this kind of education, starting as early as possible in age appropriate ways. Once kids become teens, and then young adults, many dysfunctional cognitive, emotional and behavioral "ruts" can already have formed. People can change at any point in life by creating new more functional "ruts", but those dysfunctional "ruts" can become a curse for sure. I also believe that there are forces in our society that are deliberately encouraging people to needlessly disturb themselves, largely about figments of their imaginations, for political, ideological and financial gain. Teaching people how to better manage what goes on inside their own heads (their thoughts and feelings) is not only a great ounce of prevention, but I believe a necessary and much needed push back against those forces and what they are trying to do. By Ray Mathis BTW, one great way to introduce such training into schools is to start by introducing it into teacher preparation programs in colleges and universities for the sake of teachers and their students. We don't do that now either. Another major missed opening. I've always believed it's because teaching at the college level is too often based on the assumption that the more you know about your academic subject the better teacher you'll make. That's true to a large extent at the college level, where a selection process has already occurred. But it's not true at the elementary, middle or high school levels. There's a lot more involved in teaching at those levels that teachers are not being prepared for. By Ray Mathis --- 08:08 gotta shower and go to class! - 08:59 Good day of class! 3 of 4 processed, and the one who didn't, Brett, it's because I told him, you'd better decide, dude. If you start of feel, now, it's gonna change EVERYthing for you... and some of it, ain't gonna be fun. Are you ready for that? Nikki did fabulous, well, 8 outta 10. clean out the old, in with the new. rinsed out my socks and undies (since I have no others) 80-100,000 it's tough 'cause they don't wanna be money-grubber but nobody likes mom, she's the most narcistic, nasty, 'mean' lady I've met... adn hse I wanna truly live before I die. I deserve better than I've had in the past. D-R it’s common knowledge that emotions are often more powerful than logic when it comes to buying decisions. That’s why it’s always important to tap into what makes your customers or clients feel good about buying from you and focus on that in your delivery and fulfillment systems. EQ is gonna make BIG inroads into customer service, client interaction and positive public image... resulting in brand loyalty and emotional connections. --- Taking Direction From Disney's Customer-Care Philosophy http://www.fastcompany.com/3005566/taking-direction-disneys-customer-care-philosophy Walt Disney evidently loved compasses. You’ll find what’s called the “Compass Rose” in front of the walking area in front of and in back of Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland. Not only that, but it was Compass East Corporation that began buying land in the Orlando area in the mid-1960s. That company was a cover for the Disney organization, which was snatching up property left and right for what would become Disney World; they hid their name from the transactions because, of course, sellers would have demanded more than the fair market price if they had known who was really after the transaction. The compass, to this day, figures prominently in the Disney philosophy of customer service. For instance, we learned about the four points of The Disney Compass when it comes to how to treat a customer (an area of study Disney calls Guestology). We’d like to share these four profitable and productive directions with you here: N - Needs W - Wants S - Stereotypes E – Emotions Let’s take these in turn and see how they impact your relationships with your clients or customers. --- 11:43 chattin' with Splat for almost 2 hours in her kitchen EQ/ND, her boys, Alanon, Oatmeal and fiber, etc. nice --- 2.10 07:00 up -------------- mcp ----------- "The enemy is fear. We think it's hate, but it is fear." - Gandhi -------------- mcp ----------- Forgive others... not because they deserve forgiveness... but because you deserve peace. "Good, Better, Best. Never let it rest until your Good is Better and your Better is Best." At the end of the day, the only questions I will ask myself are... Did I love enough? Did I laugh enough? Did I make a difference? --- Yikes... that's a LOT of snow for both of you! Beautiful weather here, crisp and clear, but we could use some more rain (snow would be interesting, too). HB to John! Love ya'll! - Matt Perelstein --- The study appears in the journal Social Cognitive & Affective Neuroscience. Emotional Intelligence Mapped in Brain: Study of Vietnam Veterans With Combat-Related Brain Injuries http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/01/130122122306.htm?goback=%2Egde_75300_member_212631938 The study found significant overlap between general intelligence and emotional intelligence, both in terms of behavior and in the brain. Higher scores on general intelligence tests corresponded significantly with higher performance on measures of emotional intelligence, and many of the same brain regions were found to be important to both. They found that specific regions in the frontal cortex (behind the forehead) and parietal cortex (top of the brain near the back of the skull) were important to both general and emotional intelligence. The frontal cortex is known to be involved in regulating behavior. It also processes feelings of reward and plays a role in attention, planning and memory. The parietal cortex helps integrate sensory information, and contributes to bodily coordination and language processing. "Historically, general intelligence has been thought to be distinct from social and emotional intelligence," Barbey said. The most widely used measures of human intelligence focus on tasks such as verbal reasoning or the ability to remember and efficiently manipulate information, he said. - Reduced Recognition of Fear and Sadness in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110816083750.htm Aug. 22, 2011 — Facial expressions convey strong cues for someone's emotional state and the ability to interpret these cues is crucial in social interaction. This ability is known to be compromised in many psychiatric and neurological disorders, such as social anxiety or Korsakoff's syndrome. New research has now revealed evidence that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is also characterized by changes in the way the brain processes specific emotions and that certain aspects of this disorder could be understood as a consequence of the altered processing of emotional cues. The findings are reported in the September 2011 issue of Elsevier's Cortex. Dr. Ervin Poljac from the International University of Sarajevo and the University of Leuven together with Dr. Barbara Montagne from the Radboud University Nijmegen Medical Centre and Prof. Edward de Haan from the University of Amsterdam, investigated emotional processing in a group of war veterans with symptoms developed after prolonged exposure to combat-related traumatic events. PTSD is already known to be associated with difficulties in experiencing, identifying, and describing emotions, the new study however specifically examined the participants' ability to recognize particular emotional facial expressions. Participants were shown short video clips of emotional faces representing one of the six basic emotions (happiness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust and sadness). Compared to healthy subjects, the participants with PTSD were less able to recognize two emotions in particular: fear and sadness. This is the first study to show impairment in the processing of specific emotions in PTSD. Results could be helpful not only in providing further insights into this disorder, but also in the development of new ways of assessing PTSD and the development of more detailed prognostic models. At the same time these results can betaken into account when designing therapeutic interventions. --- Strategic use of emotional intelligence in organizational settings: Exploring the dark side http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191308510000109 Abstract Emotional intelligence (EI) comprises a set of abilities related to detecting, using, understanding and managing emotion. Research and discussion of EI has disproportionately focused on prosocial outcomes and has neglected the possibility that individuals high in EI may use their skills to advance their own interests, even at the expense of others. Just as the cognitively smart person may be able to understand options and draw conclusions quickly and competently, so the emotionally intelligent person may be able to assess and control emotions to facilitate the accomplishment of various goals, including the one of getting ahead. We suggest that high-EI people (relative to those low on EI) are likely to benefit from several strategic behaviors in organizations including: focusing emotion detection on important others, disguising and expressing emotions for personal gain, using misattribution to stir and shape emotions, and controlling the flow of emotion-laden communication. In addressing self-serving benefits, we reveal the dark side of EI and open new areas for research. --- If we're honest with ourselves... every one of our behaviours are self-serving! ... and if we put any forethought into our words and actions, every behaviour could be considered manipulative. sooo, yes, there's a dark side to EQ. we COULD use our new-found intra- and inter-personal strengths for personal gain. we could even use them to hurt others, if we so choose. (and we're aware enough to watch them hurt). BUT, a) I admit to doing it a time or two. b) we, with EQ, KNOW we have a choice. We can be an ass, or we can be cool. We can do things for others, or to take from them. We can be nice, or not nice. And we have that choice. We have seen/experienced/felt what it's like to be nice, and giving, and fun... and although we may choose the negative at the moment, we have both pictures... where other non-EQers, may not. Many are brought up in emotionally dysfunctional homes, with emotionally-dysfunctional friends, who get in emotionally WAY dysfunctional gangs... and don't have a picture/experience/model of how to do it different/better/nicely. (and we who know are RESPONSIBLE to those who do not!) and c) that has not been my experience! I know a LOT of people with High EQ now (after years of teaching/learning/exploring it), and I gotta tell you... EQers are NICE people! EQers are LOVING people. EQers make great teammates. EQers know themselves, know you, can talk to you, can LISTEN to you, and can help you, and themselves, get what they want outta a situation/life. EQRocks! - Matt 8:37 go (yikes) another good day in class long sharing, with chairs in a circle(!), but very productive Visualization, pt. 2 big you takes little you back to the house, tells m&d (one-at-a-time) to sit down and shut up, little you has something to say. anyone else? good, let's go back to the Shelby, and back to the group good graduation but I rushed thru and didn't say much/enuf rose to Karen, she's out >> duties >> Patrick --- 2.11 00:35 SR pause in car, on Joseph Ct. 02:34 Persistence: The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling. - Lucretius (96 - 55 BC) Everyone has the power of greatness; not for fame, but greatness. Because greatness is determined by service. - Dr. Martin Luther King Do not be in a hurry to fill up an empty space with words and embellishments, before it has been filled with a deep interior peace. - Father Alexander Elchaninov February 11, 2013 "To love another human in all of her splendor and imperfect perfection, it is a magnificent task ... tremendous and foolish and human." - Louise Erdrich 03:23 to bed 07:00 up talk to (at) Paula about the drama --- Hey Patrick, It was GREAT having you back in class... dude! As a number of people mentioned, you were missed, and I loved our chats, bellied up to the bar there in the kitchen! I was sad I didn't get to say Good-bye to you and Teri. Thanks for getting the combination lock for the cabinet. I'll get you reimbursed. And, I was thinking... I had a bunch of brochures left over and put them in the middle drawer of Karen's little 3-drawer container that in the cabinet. However, they do no one ANY good sitting there! Would you dig them out and take them with you, and give some to Teri and Ryan and whoever, and GIVE THEM to somebody, anybody, even leave them randomly sitting on a counter in a store, or given to a total stranger... something... they useless sitting there, and we never know who could use what we offer, who needs a safe place, a loving hand, to help them thru what they're going thru. Thanks! It matters. Thanks again for helping make this an Excellent class! - Matt --- 07:55 dress and go (to IMS)... really good writing on, and after, ferry! in small pink notebook >> really good! --- 10:12 (not sent, she walked by as I was finishing, so I just asked her... "oh sure, of course.") Hi Shruti. Welcome to Monday! Thanks for letting me take Friday off… our class went amazingly well! I drove back from Fresno late last night to get here early today, so I could leave early on Thursday, to take my wife out for Valentine’s day. --- 10:27 Arlene, MFF no... sorry... we had class this past weekend in Fresno, and it always gets crazy before and during. I haven't been home since the 4th... I'll be home Thursday night (to take my valentine out to dinner!). I can do you up the labels in Word format tonight, but if you need them before Friday, you'll need to print them out. Do you have any labels now, so I can match the formatting? k? - Matt --- during the Standup meetings, I have to talk to all, on command. so, I've been writing down what I'm gonna say before I say it. and I'm getting practice in prepping, reading, in realtime, with voice inflexion ... and reading it without sounding like I'm reading it! --- >> bring some brochures to class. get more printed and pass 'em out. put the SR date on 'em! --- lost 1, no interest by gliders --- next weekend will be 4.5 days for me! --- >> bring print cartridge and earbuds, to return tomorrow --- PP = 2976 -1 sub -90 to Ricci. ND Tuition refund... Thanks to Tony! Hope it helped. L8R T8R! - Matt --- >> tonight! MMF ERD / explanation MFF labels for Arlene LBL FYs forward e to Minty ND e FB review pink notepad for ND Brochure and/or D-R wording Perfect. I’ll be waiting by the inbox! Hilleary Burgess, MMF (707) 937-1232 (707) 357-1175 cell --- lunch to intro new Redwood City folks (consulting services) to 111 Sutter. about 15x, that I can see. Laura Jacobs, Admin boss. pizza (5x), soda, salad, cookies (2x) sat with Billie and Fong at lunch Today is Day #2 of the Chinese New Year year of the Snake (last year was the Year of the Dragon) Give name, dept, length of time at IMS or purchased company, favorite place in SF Ralph, Informatics, 5 months, ferry trip across the bay nice intro! --- I run 4 businesses: - ND - EucProducts - DU Consulting - 2GetHelp, Inc. --- Ricci called by accident been crying and some anger in the shower. re: Harold (married 41 years) got text, he's paying bills that are in his name --- Verizon Wireless Is there a way to send/read my phone's text messages online?!? Three ways to send text messages: 1. Text to/from another mobile phone - using any 10 digit phone number that can receive a text message. 2. Text to a mobile phone from your PC using the "Send a Text" option. Send-a-Text: https://text.vzw.com/vtext/guest/Dashboard.do 3. Text to mobile phone from E-mail, send and receive text messages from any email address in the world by addressing the email to your 10 digit mobile number, number@vtext.com, or your custom nickname@vtext.com. - Text To Landline What is Text to Landline? The Text to Landline service converts text messages into voice messages which can be sent to most listed residential phone numbers in the United States. How do I use this service? Create a text message as if you were sending a text message to another mobile phone Enter the phone number of the person, including the area code: Example: 9991234567 Press Send Your message will be automatically delivered to the person you are contacting. A text message will be sent to your handset confirming that the message has been delivered. What does it cost? Text to Landline rates are based on your current Text Messaging price plan plus $0.25 for each successful delivery. Scotto's 916-207-9006 Pantech Crux™Eligible for a discount on 03/16/13 ! PKP 707-322-9099 PR 707-889-3211 Bri 707-972-3136 (no mas) Scotto 916-207-9006 MCP 916-599-8597 Your Greeting Name has been changed new Greeting name: mperelst (pretty creative, ey?!?) but not sure that's the same as the Nickname@vtext.com --- Hope you feel better. Congrats on your continued success in court. I was approved to leave early on Thursday (1pm). Should be home by 6 or 7, after stopping at CostCo (and Wal*Mart?) --- To make a full corner-to-corner X in a cell in Excel... 1. Highlight the cell(s) you want to block out 2. Select ‘Format Cell’ 3. Select the ‘Borders’ Tab 4. Then select the following border options ‘/’ and ‘\’ . You will see the ‘X’ appear in the preview window. 5. Press Ok --- I don't know if I'm having a problem or is it you? First, I didn't get your email about putting somebody into the weekend workshop until Friday. Second, the email only came to the office computer. I didn't get it at home. All my home email should also show up on my office computer. So maybe, I'm having a computer problem. I still have a problem with putting people into New Directions because we've never "walked back the cat" on what went wrong. I'm not much of one to stick my head in the sand and pretend that nothing happened. My fear is that if we don't figure out what went wrong and make corrections the same problems could happen again. Doc - hmmm... I have no idea why got the email only at the office, Doc. If you get SOME emails on your AT&T account at home, you should get ALL of 'em... I would think. As for 'walking back', let's do it. I'm willing to walk wherever we need to walk, so we can work together again. I know you had big problems with us, as administrators, but I didn't think you had problems with class, as well. It's ok with me if you never refer anyone to class, as long as you don't bad-mouth us, and more importantly, that you and I can still share info, concepts and ideas about how to help folks with processing/CABT/EQ/etc. Let's schedule a time to talk. How about on Friday (I normally work at home on Fridays). - Matt - I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays and then of course on Saturday mornings. It would have to be some other time. I have issues with both you and Paula's administration skills, and in specific therapy areas (with Paula and Sharon). The last time Sharon came to Huge Group she was very inappropriate, and could have caused real problems to one of the clients by her behavior. When I tried to give her feedback, she gave a terse, "Got that," and walked off. I have seen Paula doing that same kind of destructive behavior from time to time. I've never witnessed that behavior in you. I would feel much better about sending people to New Directions when Paula and Sharon are not there. I also have issues with the possibility of re-traumatizing some of the participants. We have talked about that before. I don't know where you are with this now. This is at least the third time that you brought up "bad-mouth," this makes me wonder if you are the ones who are doing the bad-mouthing? I believe that you had at least five of my regular Saturday participants in your group this weekend. You obviously don't believe me, when I said in the past, that I did not and would not mean-mouth you, so maybe you need to check with the ones that are attending your weekend workshop. Doc - Neither Paula nor Sharon were there this past weekend. - When I was suggesting that one of our students go to Huge Group, Jannie and others specifically said that you have NOT bad-mouthed us... and I certainly don't bad-mouth you... so I won't bring it up again... it was just an old fear/boundary of mine. - How about Monday... I'm off for President's day? - As I've said many times, the work that you and I are doing is very, very similar, and very, very, very powerful... and it's just a crime if us 2 personal growth leaders can't find a way to work together to bring these important breakthroughs to the rest of the world! - We'll get this! - Matt - Yes I know that they were not at New Directions, that is why I was not happy with getting your email so late. Will they be at the next New Directions? I agree that what we both do is very important, I just want to make sure that it's done right. I'm not sure if Margie is working Monday, or if she has some of the things planned for us. I will shoot for Monday if it turns out that I am open. Thanks for not bringing up your old fears again. It just makes me afraid that something is going on with you and you do that. Doc - ?? - what do you need to say re: "what went wrong"? - what do you mean about 're-traumatizing patients'? - we might have a problem if you won't work with Paula, and we won't work with Bill and Dale - I/we have some issues, too... that I can list - we gave that last lady a copy of her file last week. ... and I'm getting the rest of client files soon! --- I REALLY dislike 'watching the clock' to see how long 'til I can leave/do what I want! It feels like SUCH a waste of time --- Ken Tyler, Access consultant, wrote Debug tool for IMS (510) 384-7321 ken@8thfold.com --- 6:05 out 6:15 ferry Ian, avg depth of bay is 16ft.(!), they run trenches for the ferries down to 14' the big Mendocino ferry, with 500 people aboard, only drafts 4', empty it's about a foot and a half! wow. Scotto called, he's getting an Apple iPhone 4s, so I put him "on the account" to upgrade. we talked guns and senseless killings, then to therapy, then Tony Robbins, eventually to the D-R app. he thinks it's right on! 8:41 dif. band practicing tonight, just started more country-ish I have headphones on, so I can hear Fraiser Subway Rossy, super-nice... 'my daughter opens, I close!' meatball with extra sauce... Yumonelly(!) SR stopped, and backed up video, so I could capture these two quotes 8:42 Tom called to ask that I lock up after these guys he locked upstairs, so I can't take a shower (or get my brush, that I left up there... last 3 soakings, even 2 washings, were done with fingies) and he's gonna leave a key for me, in case this happens again, nice to me, food tastes better if it was a good deal. and it has a much higher standard, if it was expensive, so I'm more likely to be disappointed with it. I like watching me. I like getting to know me. I like seeing what I like. learning what I learn. seeing what I see. I like watching, 'cause mostly, I like me. I like what I say (that's huge, and new!), I like what I do (mostly), ... and I like where my heart lies. my values, my goals, my dreams... I like 'em, I want them, and I'm having a blast trying to make them all happen! :) 'esp. all at once! oh, and one of them is to change/save the world... so there's that that takes some noodlin'. texts... Karen, be consultant to manage ND admin team Course Manager someone to be in charge of Assistants Shauna? make 2 lists people, by duty duty, with person assigned Linda Wall - director Ricci Chaote - heart prep, paint, and start lettering? Lourie Brown - music choices Christine Tate - music production (and dancing!) ? Bev - decor An inventor fails 999 times and, and if he succeeds once, he's victorious. He treats his failures as practice shots. Charles F. Kettering Paula called, used new earbuds (first time), worked great! walked around outside talking. paula approved meetings with Karen et al I want some water, but I'm not gonna go out to the bathroom until/unless they're playing... and they're not. they've only played 4-5x songs. I think they're waiting for someone who is very late. not sure what they're doing otherwise. --- 9:43 Okie dokie. I'll do 'em Friday. I have gobs of labels, 2"x3", 2 up/5 down, I use them for both the return address and To: labels for the Euc biz. They're big, and clean, and I buy in bulk (want some blanks, too?). I gotta do some database work for the MAC Friday, mtg at 1, so I could drop 'em off at your house on the way. I was Very impressed with your place, and would love to see it again. Will you be home about 12:30? toodles. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Snail mail labels From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Mon, February 11, 2013 6:41 pm To: Hi Matt, I do not have any labels. Do not need before Friday, so if you could print them out that would be great. No one else seems able to do this. Remember we need the Donor Tools labels in a separate printing as we are sending a different letter to the renewals. Do you need labels? I will be going to Staples tomorrow so could pick them up. Just give me the details, how many up, etc. Thanks fo doing this. Cheers, A --- 10:04 FB-NDG So yeah, it worked, yet again! I did some of the deepest processing I have EVER done this weekend (lead by Cary, thanks to all!). It was certainly the furthest back I've ever remembered going. The picture my mom has that set all this off was me standing up in my crib... screaming my heart out for someone to touch me, to hold me. I was maybe 1, or less... before words. damn. It allowed me to feel the full impact of how I always felt there was something missing, something wrong, and of course (as most kids do) I assumed it was ME that was broken, and the problem. Today, I feel strong, solid, and clear... and complete. When did you first realize there was something wrong, very wrong, in your world? What was your very first trauma... probably rocked you to the core, at the time... let's explore, and share our stories to help each other turn some of the negative Belief Systems (bs) to our benefit! Do you want Post-Traumatic Stress, or Post-Traumatic Growth... it's up to you! --- A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. Groucho Marx Cooperation is allowed to flow more easily when we let go of the necessity to be right all the time. --- The first step toward healing is not to bury the pain, it's to Feel it, to it's fullest depth. - Dr. Niles Crane, Frasier Often thru pain, we can achieve emotional growth. - Frasier, Frasier - 11:30 pause, in chair head thrown back --- 2.12 00:30 new subscriber --- 07:08 today, feels good again. a core emotional barrier can be resolved so quickly, and easily, if we can just give in to the feeling. Once I allowed myself to cry, I consciously open my heart to let whatever pain is there, OUT. go, all of it, go... no matter what it looks like, what it sounds like, let your body take over and just rock with feeling, pure, deep, all of it. Oh, and here's the best part... you can do it, by yourself, at home, or any place safe, or any place at all, really, 'where you go, there you are'... it's free, it's (sometimes) permanent, it's natural. it doesn't make the feeling go away completely... it just Shifts the feeling in some other direction. the direction is up to you. but the shift, tho it doesn't actually Remove the pain, it allows it to change, to something else. that pain, that whole, that longing, that hurt, that anger... whatever it is... kinda gets Resolved Re words are awesome(!) Resolve Resolve Resolved Reimagine Reimage Rearrange Reset Reject Rejoice(!) Repair Replace Refocus Reinvent Repicture Regroup Reread Rejoice Reneg Retaliate Reject Repulse Reprime Recanoiter(?) Recap Replace Restain Reguard Restrain Reenact Repurpose Redecide(!) Replicate Regenerate Reposition Retrospect Re-noodle Renegotiate Re... if we messed up our lives, we get a 2nd(nother) chance to make it right, to do it right. We can START doing it right from here on. Behaviour vs. Action My behaviours has been, so they're harder to change. change the behaviours over time your behaviours are the set of Actions you normally do Behaviour is a Set of Actions... how we 'usually' handle stuff. Behaviour is an ongoing, repetitive response to any event, I do right-brain + left-brain so I can explain stuff, really simply. none of this matters. and I'm stuck, no, sticking it out 'til August. Maybe I can write the entire time, and by August have a serious manifesto. don't unveil it until it's complete >> send D-R to Scotto, when ready I thought heat - boom, it kicks on We can't make conscious Decisions on stuff we don't know about. If we don't know about our Feelings and Emotions, we don't know us very well! THAT's the thing about girls that Guys don't get/understand/know how to deal with... they feel, a lot... and they better understand that FEELINGS MATTER... a LOT... In Fact, it's pretty much ALL ABOUT FEELINGS !!! ya know? but ya don't know until ya know, ya know? (I like how I write, now.) I don't usually re-read much of it. today, feels good again. a core emotional barrier can be resolved so quickly, and easily, if we can just give in to the feeling. Once I allowed myself to cry, I consciously open my heart to let whatever pain is there, OUT. go, all of it, go... no matter what it looks like, what it sounds like, let your body take over and just rock with feeling, pure, deep, all of it. Oh, and here's the best part... you can do it, by yourself, at home, or anyplace safe, or anyplace you are... it's free, it's (sometimes) permanent, it's natural. - I should talk to Alex about plans... - Yeah, I'm quite sure I'll see you on Saturday... thrice! Have a good trip. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Snail mail labels From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Tue, February 12, 2013 7:08 am To: Hi Matt, We will not be home on Friday, gone to Ukiah. Will be here on Saturday. Will that work. Off to Santa Rosa this morning. Cheers, A --- 07:28 I'm on a role writing, so I'd like to go. Behaviours vs. Actions AAA Awareness Acceptance Action KCG Know - awareness, training, Choose - understand, appreciate, conscious choice Give - connect, In order to connect, we gotta give. We WANT to connect. Our body, our spirit, our soul WANTS to CONNECT. to connect, for real, we gotta give. if we continue to take, we're not very connected.? giving works, for us. giving is critical, to make an us. giving is an art form, to enjoy us. giving is a wonder, it connects us giving = us, Us, US, USA we're selfish and glutinous, 'tis true. AND, we are by far, the givingest country on the planet. at least we try to be. I'm the fatest guy at my work, and with the new Redwood City folks there, I'm STILL the fatest guy at my work. to open up their hearts and minds to the wonder of true connection with others... Right on, Susan! Seriously, how could it NOT create change? If we teach kids how to get along better, how to understand, appreciate and better manage themselves, and how to lead with love, how could that NOT help?? We may not change the whole world, but by cracky, we gotta give EQ a try! lead with power The power is in the Love Love is the Power You want power and control, lead with love. You want to feel the coolest power on the planet, use your power to connect with someone... (almost) any one, really. Behaviour vs. Action Behaviour: A series of actions, a generalization, a reaction, how we 'usually' handle something a way to examine our Patterns from the past has a conscious, and an unconscious component to it. Action: What we choose to do, say or be in the moment. so, if we don't know WHY we're doing what we're doing, we are NOT in Control of our own lives! Every action, every behaviour, averything we do, say or be, is based on at least 1 Thought, and at least 1 Feeling. If we ONLY know what we Think, and don't know what we Feel, we're in trouble. we're walking around semi-clueless all left-brain, no right-brain, lands a boy in jail. we're walking around doing what we do, being run by a traumatized little kid inside them and totally Unconsciously... not good. not smart. not safe. not a good idea. not good. and changable --- 07:54 be impeccable with your word go... 08:23 missed 08:20 watched bus leave, early drove to Lucky Drive got 24, to Battery 3 of us in back seat... totally comfortable! 09:26 here --- FecEx Office $1.50/color brochure $.53 per B/W (ouch) Office Max was: $1/color $0.18/BW $00.03/fold >> update and get more printed email to them? on 1st Street? --- Robin's fam "Hunter Skrzypek" , "jquiban@hotmail.com" , "Lisa Rosier" , "James Rosier" , "skrzypek@yahoo.com" hunter got Another college acceptance notice! FANTASTIC! It's REALLY hard to get into these schools these days... Hunter you're probably in the top 5-10% IQ on the planet! Yay! - Mr. Matt --- Policy Action Alert As you may know, Congressman Tim Ryan of Ohio has been one of the leading champions for social and emotional learning in Congress. We hope you will work with us to help Congressman Ryan in getting a number of his colleagues in Congress to sign on to a letter to be sent to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. The letter discusses SEL and its benefits and encourages the Department of Education to include social and emotional learning in the Obama Administration's new school climate ($50 million) and mental health ($25 million) proposals. Your representatives have already received a note from Congressman Ryan's office with more details on the content of the letter. --- water chinese noodles and such pear Lunch , return ink cartidge on Sutter ($35 to PP card) , return (exchange, but they were out) ear buds to Radio Shack for Philips (white with blue), $20 cash , lunch, salad bar, $7.02 + a pizza and some chicken ,~10x toothpicks for my desk from bar --- >> get Euc labels ready by Friday \\removable\~stuff\~GoLabels.docx >> get MFF mail labels ready, (to Arlene) on Saturday --- I used to have the bump, swollen pocket of liquid, on the back of the wrist on my left hand... but it's gone now. I miss it for rubbing my eyes. --- Paul White's leaving IMS next week there were 7 white American guys, and 3 girls here. Jim, Tom (temp), Kevin and I CJ, Zack and Paul left now 4 guys, 2 girls (Amber and Vanessa) (but there are some new ones coming in from Redwood City) --- Doc, Whatchathink? 4 Steps to EQ 1. Awareness There are two sides of our brain, and we've only learned about one of them. There are feelings, pictures, sounds, belief systems and traumatic, life-altering memories in my right-brain, and those effect/affect everything I do, think, feel, say and act. Feelings matter! 2. Emotional Responsibility My thoughts, feelings and behaviours are Mine, and mine alone. I created them, I can influence them, and what I do with them is totally, completely 100% my decision and my choice. Knowing this puts me in control of my own life, now and forever more! 3. Literacy I can learn to understand what I feel, where it came from, what it's called, how to differentiate them, how to deal with each one, how to speak about them, and thru them, and learn to speak to others (and myself) on a more intimate, heart-centered, empathetic, yet powerful, effective and authentic way. I can make things happen, create the connections I need and want, and live free by using both sides of my brain. 4. Mastery With practice, I can conquer and tame my deepest fears, my blinding rage, my crushing guilt, my darkest depression and my well of sadness. I have gained a knowing that there is nothing that life can throw at me, that I cannot handle, emotionally. With that knowledge, comes hope, and joy, and vitality, and FREEDOM to be, to love, to laugh and to live, to life's highest highs, with its wildest hearts, its enriching love, the solid feeling of truly connecting with my fellow man, knowing, beyond a doubt, that I belong, I am here for a reason, to join my fellow man, in helping the plight of others, so that everyone wins! --- on LI-EIN Communication problems "The rudest person I know is the person who wants to talk when I want to talk." The problem with talking is that the message is not in what the sayer says, but in what the hearer hears. Words have no meanings. Words only have definitions, meaning are what we put on the words that we hear. They are our meanings not necessarily the meaning the other person has in his head. By Myron Doc Downing --- Ride Sharing >> http://www.WeGoMarin.com $2 per download QR app to scan brochure --- Human emotions are a critical part of who we are. --- Paula's next PS Volunteer Meeting, 2/19 Our next volunteer meeting will be on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm at Project Sanctuary. The guest presenter will be Judge Clay Brennen of our Ten Mile Court. yikes, here we go again... --- 4:40 Jim out 5:15 waiting patiently finding stuff to do 5:32 Shruti out --- comedy club tonight? another meatball sub (delicious!) 7pm-ish to ferry walk to car then where? --- >> Donate the GP? Kars.com cars for kids --- 142Throckmorton theatre has a way to show the final destination and you just enter in where you're coming from, and it maps it http://142throckmortontheatre.org/directions.php Gadgets powered by Google 101-S to William Bagley Fwy R on Blithedale L on throckmorton ave --- http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/wp-login.php Username: Matt P password: 2gh --- 5:52 out Ferry, sat down, hood up, tunes on, wind yes, the very last bit of sunset (beautiful over the lights of the city), little nappage walked to Lucky Dr. to JoAnne's for electric scissors for V-day pres. nope. to Bed, Bath and Beyond (back by the ferry), nope but got some cool USA Pans for Tracy and Sean, and an egg flipper for me/us Williams-Sonoma? nope. mgr googled and said Wal*Mart (yep, already going there Thursday), JoAnnes.com... anywhere that carries sewing machines. another meatball sub - Wonderfully delicious, last night pretty good tonight. she put the Provolone on the bread and melted it there... wrong. and I only got one sauce tonight, and not extra like last night. try to eat only half. put 2nd half away in fridge. I think I may be the heaviest I've ever been right now. bloated, true, but dunlap's disease, bad. wrote back and forth with Doc last 2 days. not great energy. >> ask if he's ok 08:25 bandcamp --- LI-EIN (44,098x) COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS ? Nick, You need a good counselor. What do you hear me saying? You can look up each word in the dictionary and you still will not know what I’m saying to you. Go ahead, look up the word you, then need, then a, then good, and counselor and it will give you good definitions of the words, but the dictionary will not tell you what those five words mean. So, what am I saying to you? Did I say that you had a problem and need help? Or, did you hear me saying that I’m a good counselor, and do you need a good counselor? Or, maybe you heard me say I’m crazier than a loon? You need a good counselor (because I’m no good). There are at least three very different meanings that you could choose to put to that five word sentence and not one of them will you find in the dictionary. Good communication starts with understanding that words have no meaning, only people have meanings that they attach to the sounds that they hear. Research says that 70% of the time, when you get your feelings hurt it is because you miss-interpreted, or placed the wrong meaning on what was said or done. The reason your feelings got hurt was not because of what the person said or did, it was because you did not check out to see what they meant by what they said or did. In a therapy session one day, my client said to his wife, “In 15 years of marriage, I have never seen anybody I’d rather be married to than to you.” Her response was to shoot back, “You mean that you have been looking for somebody for 15 years?” We can hear every word that somebody says, and repeat it back to them verbatim, and still not hear what the person said. By Myron Doc Downing --- Can someone please help me to explain "choices"? I am having difficulty explaining this to my husband: that people often say "I have/had no choice". I say everyone has a "choice" - it may not be a good one or one they would like to make; nevertheless, it IS a choice. Maybe I'm not "choosing" the right words! I say my son is "choosing" to feed into his fiance's fears by becoming her doormat. My husband says, "he has no choice". Any suggestions? Like · ·Follow PostUnfollow Post · 7 hours agoSeen by 11Janie Monsalve Shogren Hi Gay, the one Doc uses is.......If someone is holding a gun to your head and asking for your wallet do you have a choice ? The answer is yes, you always have a choice. You can make the choice not to give it to him (and you may die) or make the choice to give it to him. You are still making the "choice" and you always have that option.!! Like you said.....you may not always like the choices, but they are there. Does this help? Love you, Janie Sent from my iPad 5 hours ago via · Like..Glori Celis Janie Monsalve Shogren Is right on. When your husband says your son has no choice he is saying that if Clint wants to keep the peace or please Dee he has no choice but to go along. Your husband like most people don't see that as a choice because the consequences are unacceptable. Does that help? 4 hours ago via mobile · Like..Glori Celis But it IS still a choice nonetheless! 4 hours ago via mobile · Like..Patrick Mccauley Do you have a choices ? or do you have to set hem straight ? Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:36:59 -0800 3 hours ago via · Unlike · 1..Matt Perelstein Yep! The way I see it is that not only do we Have a choice... but We don't do Anything we don't choose to do (except for some bodily functions). Paula hates when I say that, but I believe it's true. What about the stuff we 'have' to do?! My trick is to consciously Choose whatever I gotta do anyway... as that's puts me in control of my world... and keeps resentment away! Try it. --- "Mean what you say; say what you mean, but don't say it mean." - Mom Cicchino --- 9:27 Hi, Lisa. I appreciate your thorough reply, and thanks for being willing to work with me. I'm gun-shy since I've spent (wasted) over $10k already and don't have much to show for it. Here are a few of my (random) thoughts on this matter: 1. It seems that the success of your process assumes we have constant traffic, which, so far, ain't happening. The maintenance is the part of about constantly tweeting, or facebooking, or other busy-work to 'create conversations' and interest and all that... so far, that has been very time consuming with almost zero return. 2. I need something for my folks to give to their folks that explains the workshop. It's hard to explain, so we need to SHOW people what's possible. 3. Yes, we have a sign-up page (www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/signup) but I think you're right that we need an opt-in/squeeze page, as well (you already wrote one for us). 4. I like your idea of taping the webinar 'live'... I should be able to get 10-20 people to show up and participate. 5. DVDs are now very inexpensive to reproduce, even with a custom label, or the imagine burned right onto the disc. We need both... an online, YouTube-able version, and a DVD-able version. 6. Camtasia is $299, but they have a 30-day free trial, so we can download it when as soon as we're ready to go. I've used it before to do moving screen-captures for training, and it's wonderful software. 7. Payment up front is fine. Thots? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Proposal for webinar project From: "Lisa Rothstein 310-279-9039" Date: Tue, February 12, 2013 6:26 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hey Matt, I'm willing to do the powerpoint and the interview for $1000, but I really hate to take your money when I don't think your strategy is sound. First, this stuff really isn't that hard, and there is no ""maintenance". The hardest part is creating the content, which is what you are asking me to do. The DVD idea is a good one but you are still relying on handing it to people. This guarantees that only people you or your assistant will meet in person could possibly to the workshop, drastically reducing your chances of filling it. The DVD is also a cost every time you give one, with no guarantee of return. What i am suggesting costs money up front to set up but is FREE to present the material to people, FOREVER, whether 10 people or 10,000 see it. The other problem is Instant teleseminar does not create a downloadable video, only a replay you watch online. Someone would have to do a screen capture video as it was replaying, using a program like Screenflow (mac) or Camtasia (PC). You can do this yourself if you have the programs or might be able to find someone online to do that cheaply, or maybe one of your friends would do it for free. I pay Crystal $40 an hour, so having her do this plus help with finding images, etc. would take too big a chunk off what you're offering to pay me. If we are going to be doing the Powerpoint and an Instant teleseminar anyway, you would be foolish to not at least invite the people on your mailing list to "attend" live. They can type in questions that I can read to you and you can answer. You can send them a link to the replay as well. And you might get some of them to enroll again! You can certainly create that invite email yourself. Realize that you still need a "live" sales page with a payment button so that they can enroll and pay. If not, how do you sign them up? Perhaps you already have this up? And you really should be sending new people to an opt in page where they have to enter their info to see the replay of the webinar. I know I sound like a broken record, but it's just crazy not to do this. It allows your former students to email a link to everyone they know. (They can't send them all a DVD and it would end up costing you a fortune to make them all!) . And you would get all those new people onto your mailing list so you could enroll them later if now is not the time. The reason you are not getting results is that you are doing things halfway. This is not me trying to squeeze you for money. It's just the truth. I am willing to go ahead with just the powerpoint and interview as you request because it is the first step in the plan I proposed to you and maybe I'll convince you to do the rest later -- I think you will be excited about the webinar replay and want a lot more people to see it! If you decide to just do the DVD, that will still be possible too. I'll need payment up front to get started. I can't divide it at this level. You can pay by credit card or check -- which do you prefer? Lisa --- PP ND = 777.78 -12 Sizzler -40 Office Max ? gas? PP 2GH = 257 -100 LJ, postage for client files PP = 2980 -37 BedBath & Beyond (pans for Tracy and Sean, egg flipper for me/us) -+ 38 Patrick and Co, printer ink, returned + 6 orders --- 2.13 06:15 peace cannot come to this world until you are convinced that violence will never produce it. Plan for the future because that's where you are going to spend the rest of your life. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) I realize that hanging onto regrets is neurotic. We can't change the past. All we can do is make sure the future is as good as it can be. - Jacki Weaver "If, amidst the turmoil, you can find just one moment of peace in each day, then your whole life will become more joyful. Like the water in a lake, when your mind is calm, you can see the depths below." - Ed and Deb Shapiro “Without devotion, action and knowledge are cold and dry and may even become shackles.” - Ghandi --- Forget IQ, it's your EQ that matters: Dubai workshop shows you how http://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/forget-iq-its-your-eq-that-matters-dubai-workshop-shows-you-how by Jayne Morrison Forget about how smart you are. The key to flourishing at home and at work, experts say, is exploiting your emotional quotient. Your intelligence quotient, more commonly known as IQ, is said to assess your level of intelligence. You may have found yourself taking an IQ test as part of a job interview process, or even before being admitted into university, and a lot of emphasis is placed on the little score you're given; it is said your educational achievement, job performance and even income can be predicted from it. Related Foster emotional intelligence for inner peace As someone who has always been rather sceptical of how a test that asks me to figure out which pieces of a shape are missing can tell the world how "intelligent" I am, it comes as no surprise that I am more drawn to theories of EQ, which is said to be your emotional quotient. According to John D Mayer and Peter Salovey, two of the leading researchers on the topic, EQ is "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions". Numerous psychological studies indicate that a high EQ might be a greater predictor of success than IQ, despite the common misconception that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. The EQ Edge, by Steven Stein and Howard Book, suggests that while IQ is fixed and unchangeable, the real key to personal and professional growth is your EQ, which you can develop. But what makes EQ the elusive factor to success in the workplace? "One of the reasons it seems elusive is that we tend to value it less than other skills," explains Stein, a clinical psychologist based in Canada. "We have paid little attention to these factors because we have focused so much on things such as intellectual ability, academic ability, technical skills and work experience. While these are all of importance, we tend to neglect emotional skills, such as empathy, assertiveness, interpersonal skills, optimism and other skills. The people who have developed these skills are the ones who make the greatest impact in the workplace. They contribute over and above their technical skills." It is believed that by developing your EQ, you can also build more meaningful relationships, boost your confidence and optimism and respond to challenges more effectively. Jayne Morrison, regional director of Six Seconds Middle East and Africa, a non-profit organisation that supports EQ in schools, businesses and families around the world, including the UAE, explains that having a higher EQ makes us more self-aware, which in turn makes us more adept at having fulfilling relationships with others. "We all have emotions, whether we're the manager, the employee, the friend or the parents," she says. "Thoughts, feelings and actions are inextricably intertwined - each affects the other. People with higher EQs have more meaningful relationships because they have a greater sense of self-awareness, they understand their emotions and how these drive their thoughts and behaviours, and are mindful of how these affect others. People with higher EQs also make intentional choices in their interactions with others, using consequential thinking before taking action instead of drifting through life on autopilot." Tips on how to increase your EQ Helen Maffini, an educational consultant from Australia who specialises in EQ and has lived and worked in the UAE: - Develop self-awareness and see yourself as others do. You can do this by taking time to reflect each day on how you acted and reacted and how those around you did. Becoming aware allows you to take a step towards managing your emotions. - Learn to read facial expressions and body language. This is a skill you can acquire with practice. This will help you tune into people's feelings and moods and really hear what is behind their words. Read more: http://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/forget-iq-its-your-eq-that-matters-dubai-workshop-shows-you-how --- Hi Gang, GREAT CLASS last weekend -- THANKS ya'll, for doing such deep work, and for making it safe and supporting me as I did mine -- that was a powerful class, indeed! I wanted to start this tread with everyone's email addresses. Just hit to send an email to all of us. Please stay in touch (here or in our Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop) and let us know how you're doing. As you probably know, sharing, and feeling connected, are some of the keys to high EQ, and to happiness and success in life! Love you guys! - Matt (916) 599-8597 www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com --- 06:54 FB-ND We can't do much about our IQ, but we can improve our EQ a LOT -- quickly and inexpensively -- and EQ can make all the difference in both happiness and success in life! (read on...) --- Brendon Burchard Live. Love. Matter. --- http://www.conversations.org/story.php?sid=338 There’s another deficit disorder called “meaning deficit disorder.” That’s from Victor Frankl who wrote Man’s Search For Meaning. -------------- mcp ------------- It’s not the situation that upsets us. It’s what we tell ourselves about the situation that upsets us. - Epictetus So let me define these three categories: know yourself, choose yourself and give yourself. According to the Six-second model, know yourself has two competencies. One is emotional literacy and second is recognizing your reaction patterns. Emotional literacy is being able to label emotions, being able to recognize them. Why is it that I’m feeling that? That’s emotional literacy. And what they have found (David Rock, in Your Brain at Work) is that recognizing and labeling emotions calms down your amygdala, which is a part of the brain that activates in intense emotion like anger. Labeling an emotion calms that down and activates your frontal cortex, which is kind of a decision-making part of the brain. it’s an action-oriented model where the first part, “know yourself” is the “what”—what is driving me and what is stopping me? And the second part of it is the “how.” So how am I going to use that and make a decision? How will I act? And the “give yourself” part is “why”—so what, how and why. give yourself has two competencies. One is empathy and that’s a learnable skill. And the second competency is having a noble goal or purpose. So that’s why this category is called “why.” Seligman had a neat way of describing what optimistic people do and what pessimistic people do. It’s how they look at success and failure. There are three categories that he divides it into. One is time “temporary or permanent.” Second is “pervasive and local.” And the third is “personal or external.” So an optimistic person when they fail, they will say that the failure is temporary, it’s local and it’s not personal. What that means is that yeah, I failed today, but that’s okay. I made a mistake and I can recover from that. That reminds me of Victor Frankl again, who survived the most horrendous conditions in a German concentration camp by helping others. ... it’s not’s only deeply rewarding because I feel good that they’re becoming better, but it’s therapeutic for me. I feel I’m learning and growing in this emotional intelligence the more I help people grow their own emotional intelligence. You can learn more about Shabbir at www.xtra-assist.com --- D-R Social and emotional learning is a school- and classroom-based approach to developing skills like self-control, getting along well with others, and problem-solving. Decades of scientific research shows that students who learn and use these skills have better relationships and ultimately do better in school academically and socially, as well as being more successful in career and life. - CASEL.org --- 07:32 LI-EIN Policy Action Alert http://www.CASEL.org/ As you may know, Congressman Tim Ryan of Ohio has been one of the leading champions for social and emotional learning in Congress. We hope you will work with us to help Congressman Ryan in getting a number of his colleagues in Congress to sign on to a letter to be sent to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. The letter discusses SEL and its benefits and encourages the Department of Education to include social and emotional learning in the Obama Administration's new school climate ($50 million) and mental health ($25 million) proposals. We ask that you consider sending a message to your US representatives and request that they sign on to Congressman Ryan's letter to Secretary Duncan. Please be an advocate for your constituents in this important effort by contacting Anne Sokolov (anne.sokolov@mail.house.gov) in Congressman Ryan's office to sign on to the letter. Thank you for your support! --- shower 07:59 go... made 08:20 ferry, but... chatted with Rene for awhile Bus, wonderful! back 6 rows so no one could see me, nor even Feel me! --- The basics of PR is ER(!) --- Hi Tiffany, 2" thick branches are pretty hefty, but I think a 2-lb order should do it. Order the 2' x 2" option, but I'll know to send you 30" branches, instead, ok? $29.95 + $14.00 postage = $43.95 http://www.EucProducts.com/branches Sound good? - Matt --- Patrick: New Combo lock for ND cabinet in classroom(!) 1316 Thanks much... how much do we owe you? Did you get my email about grabbing the brochures outta the cabinet? --- LBL forwarded Helen's last communication to Minty Minty, please see thread below... any suggestions? Thanks. - Matt - 12:14 Ok, good to know. I have some open items to do for them on my plate, so it looks like I'll finish those up and then bill the remaining 8 hours on Jan. 15. She said there's a chance that they would extend it, someday, but I guess we'll finish up, for now. darn. That was a good job! - Matt --- ---------------------- mcp ----------- Don’t tell your God how big the storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is. --- Jim's out Tues & Wed. Shruti's leaving at 3:15 today, and Jim's WFH. --- Support Call Tonight at 7pm, if anyone's interested! 1-605-475-4250, then 33#. Good timing... --- Hi Denise (Dorrance), thanks for the note! a. Branches last the longest, 'cause many birds like them better after they're dried. The leaves my crisp-ify after a week or two, but again, some birds like 'em better that way, and they're more useful to you that way (potpourri, vacuum trick, boiling, etc.) b. Leaves can be kept in the freezer for month, or even years, without (hardly) any degredation. c. Looks like some 3-footers would fit well, and you can always cut 'em, and/or bend 'em to fit. I'd suggest a 1-lb. branch order to start with ($19.95 + postage). http://www.EucProducts.com/branches d. We do have 4 big apple trees, but I've never shipped their branches before (willing, but no one's asked). I don't know anything about baking them first or giving them basil... sorry. Hope that answers your questions. - Matt http://www.EucProducts.com/branches --- 1:15 - 2 Lunch Lee's Deli -- good! made a nice-sized salad with spinach, onion, croutons, mushrooms, raisins, dressing, and a few chicken bites, for only $4.95 got another $20 Philips ear bud to keep with laptop. white/white, but still... New password IMS 2Gh8 --- ND testimonial "I love love love my awareness." - Glori --- Gates Foundation Taps IMS Consulting Group For Insights in Asia, Africa Published: April 11, 2012 The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation turned to IMS Consulting Group recently to analyze trends in the use of antibiotics for treating acute respiratory infections in children within select Asian and African markets. According to the foundation, pneumonia causes more than 2 million infant and child deaths each year and is the leading killer of children under five in developing nations. Its long-term goal is to reduce childhood deaths from pneumonia in the developing world to the same levels as those in the developed nations. The markets examined included Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Southeast Asia, South Africa and Francophone West Africa, which includes Mauritania, Senegal, Mali, French Guinea, Cote d’Ivoire, Burkina Fasco, Benin and Niger. --- The markets examined included Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Southeast Asia, South Africa and Francophone West Africa, which includes Mauritania, Senegal, Mali, French Guinea, Cote d’Ivoire, Burkina Fasco, Benin and Niger. --- , orders Melinda Romyn 1L (Ban) Holley S, x Dante x, lots Tida, 1B, 3', 1C (both) Michele Jakoulov, 1-2'x2" branch an 'interesting' one, to bring to life! Kelley S, 2-3' "Shawna Grupe" shagrupe@gmail.com SUGAR Group c/o Val Betts 604 Deahl St. Borger, TX 79007 2-3B Jennifer Wilkes thicker chew sticks (bunnies) Vickie Pralley S x --- just got a $125 order(!) very nice! (Monday) PP = 3080 did GoLabels (27x + zoo) I have 5-5lb subs! 57x total ~$800/mo. --- 5:24 Sent MFF eblast per Marcie --- I just keep doing what I'm doing, and they're gonna come, or not. I gotta be me... and I'm gonna keep 7:00 call 7:13 Ricci got on the call electric scissors klondike.com misners.com quilt store Communications #1 Shut up and Listen people want to talk, unabated. the trick is to interject when ready, gracefully but while the other person is talking, it's important to SHUT THE HECK UP. esp. when on the phone, or in a meeting. some orgs, you HAVE to talk over, or you'll never get in. I ask that only 1 person talk at a time Oregon, quilt show girls going to Sisters, OR a whole week, nothing but Quilts everywhere Cool. C-u then! make sure you stop by for a hug. - Matt --- FB-NDG Yep, that's what I'd do... wish I was there. Meet once or twice a month at someone's house... or a Starbucks or backroom of a restaurant. If you come with specific stuff to work on, say so... else be there for others. Don't waste much time talking about the present... your current issues are pretty much all Symptoms, anyway... get right to it, it's the hooks to the past... the unconscious belief systems (bs) are the problem...Living life on decisions made by a traumatized little kid. Explore 'em, find 'em, uncover them and then decide, consciously, if they still fit or not... re-decide / adjust / modify / delete... that's the solution. sounds fun. --- 8:08 Karen Hi you. would you go back to the other email, hit , and attach the Roster for everyone, please? Thanks. When'z your first day of one-on-ones?? - me --- Hi. This email is just for those who have been, or said they would, help out with class (thanks ya'll). I'm hoping we can solidify some job duties, since Karen is gonna be doing her practicum most every weekend for the rest of the year. So, here's what we have so far: - Love Notes and Name Tags -- Linda V. - Wooden Hearts, spray paint, writing on front, attach pin or magnet (which?) -- Ricci - Music, playing (and lead us in dancing!) -- Christina - Music, song selection (and writing song title on back of hearts?) -- Lourie - Supplies, list and delegate -- Linda Lou - Cake, order and pickup for graduation -- Splat - Rosters, creation and distribution -- Matt I think I'll do them for now. I know the most about who's in and out, anyway. plus, we just do name, email and phone # these days, no more street address, so it's faster/easier. ... and ... - Patrick just got us a combination lock today to secure the white cabinet in the courseroom (yay!) - I'll order more ND pencils from OrientalTrading.com ... still needed ... - Manager of Assistants - do you want to grow your leadership or team-building skills? Cool opportunity in a safe place to practice. - Binders, printing and assembly (if someone has a decent printer, we'll get you paper and ink, and the 3-ring binders) - We need a supply list, and a sublist for stuff from Costco (which we can normally get on the way to Fresno) Please confirm your involvement, and let me know what else I missed / need Thanks again. As you know, it's vital that we continue doing NDs, get better at it, train more people, and hone our skills with emotional processing and healing. I truly believe we have an incredibly powerful 'formula' going that could, and just might, save/change/heal a big part of our world... and one of our most limiting factors in our growth potential will be 'experts'/mentors/high EQers... like you. - Matt (916) 599-8597 - 8:59 Splat very cool. Thanks, sweetie. I'll be in touch with more info. Appreciate your service! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [ND] Staff From: Michele E Soplata Date: Wed, February 13, 2013 8:49 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com If I am doing the cake, I will step up to do the folders too. If your taking care of the supplies, that way if for some reason I can't come to class I can still be a part of with the cakes and folders...cool Always Michele --- Help me understand. I hear you (or nowadays it's, I feel you) What I'm hearing is __... is that what you meant? It sounds like you feel __. I suggest __. What I hear in you that I like/don't like about me are __. I feel __ when you __ because I __. No one has ever made you angry. --- FB-MCP, 13/4 Do you know why fire engines are red? Books are read, too. Two plus Two is Four. Four times 3 is 12. 12 is a ruler. Queen Mary is a ruler. Queen Mary is a ship. Ships sail the oceans. Fish swim the oceans. Fish have fins. Fins hate Russians. Russians are red, and fire engines are always rushin'! --- ND Testimonials Cary Parkins Hey y'all. The weekend definitely helped me. I feel like I got exactly what I wanted: to accelerate the process of letting go of everything around my divorce. It's been a roller coaster for me until today. Today has been relatively serene. I'm taking good care of myself, and tomorrow I go on vacation for a few days. Today I've had appreciable success in staying in the present. Lynda Abraugh Thank you ND group for holding me, your hugs, allowing me to grieve deeply my deceased Son John. My heart feels blessed. Love to ALL. --- Elizabeth Newman Quick background, my husband and I have been having issues a couple years now. We saw doc for a bit during the summer and now for a few weeks we have been apart. Not traditional separation, it's a bit more involved than that since we are good friends. Here's my issue currently that I need help wrapping my brain around.....we got in a fight Saturday. Our first one in all our 6 years. There was a lot of yelling and when I tried to calm him down because our son came in the room he got angrier and then he punched the bed and hit my leg in the process. After it happened the second time I jumped up and told him not to touch me, he said it was an accident. I tried to get by him and he grabbed me and shoved me so as I caught my balance I hit him in the chest. I tried to push by him and he shoved me again and was in my face nose to nose screaming at me. I was scared at this point and told him I would call the cops if he didn't get away from me. It calmed down and he cried and of course said he would never touch me again and I got away from him the rest of the weekend. I've been here before. I have an ex husband that one push snowballed into other things. I was confident in myself that I didn't deserve this and as the days have progressed I start to think well if I wasn't fighting with him he wouldn't have gotten angry and it was only a push nothing else and Am I overreacting? How do I find the line in what is right for me or what was acceptable and unacceptable? I guess an unbiased opinion is what I need. A deeper look. - Oh my... so sorry Elizabeth... I read your post, got busy and neglected to reply... no offense. So, how's it going now? Any new developments? It turns out that Paula is the legal advocate for their agency and she Domestic Violence counselor... so she knows tons about it, and her job is to help people like you. She's at (707) 961-1702 tomorrow. What's his attitude now? If it happens once, it could happen again... so it's about you being strong and clear in who you are, what you want, and what's ok/not ok with you. Give Paula a call tomorrow... and stay strong, regardless. What are you feeling today? --- 2.14 Happy VD! 05:20 "Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them—every day begin the task anew." - Saint Francis de Sales you are loved on this day for all the wonder that you bring to your world with the gift of being you. Sometimes as adults, we just need a time out to refocus and gather ourselves before starting out again. Whenever you are sincerely pleased you are nourished. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) --- LI-EIN (44,118x) 7/7 --- 05:39 11 most important principles to integrate to become a better Leader: http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130128162711-15077789-11-simple-concepts-to-become-a-better-leader 1. Listening "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway Listening is the foundation of any good relationship. Great leaders listen to what their customers and prospects want and need, and they listen to the challenges those customers face. They listen to colleagues and are open to new ideas. They listen to shareholders, investors, and competitors. Here's why the best CEO's listen more. 2. Storytelling "Storytelling is the most powerful way to put ideas into the world today." -Robert McAfee Brown After listening, leaders need to tell great stories in order to sell their products, but more important, in order to sell their ideas. Storytelling is what captivates people and drives them to take action. Whether you're telling a story to one prospect over lunch, a boardroom full of people, or thousands of people through an online video - storytelling wins customers. 3. Authenticity "I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I've become. If I had, I'd have done it a lot earlier." -Oprah Winfrey Great leaders are who they say they are, and they have integrity beyond compare. Vulnerability and humility are hallmarks of the authentic leader and create a positive, attractive energy. Customers, employees, and media all want to help an authentic person to succeed. There used to be a divide between one’s public self and private self, but the social internet has blurred that line. Tomorrow's leaders are transparent about who they are online, merging their personal and professional lives together. 4. Transparency "As a small businessperson, you have no greater leverage than the truth." -John Whittier There is nowhere to hide anymore, and businesspeople who attempt to keep secrets will eventually be exposed. Openness and honesty lead to happier staff and customers and colleagues. More important, transparency makes it a lot easier to sleep at night - unworried about what you said to whom, a happier leader is a more productive one. 5. Team Playing "Individuals play the game, but teams beat the odds." -SEAL Team Saying No matter how small your organization, you interact with others every day. Letting others shine, encouraging innovative ideas, practicing humility, and following other rules for working in teams will help you become a more likeable leader. You’ll need a culture of success within your organization, one that includes out-of-the-box thinking. 6. Responsiveness "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." -Charles Swindoll The best leaders are responsive to their customers, staff, investors, and prospects. Every stakeholder today is a potential viral sparkplug, for better or for worse, and the winning leader is one who recognizes this and insists upon a culture of responsiveness. Whether the communication is email, voice mail, a note or a a tweet, responding shows you care and gives your customers and colleagues a say, allowing them to make a positive impact on the organization. 7. Adaptability "When you're finished changing, you're finished." -Ben Franklin There has never been a faster-changing marketplace than the one we live in today. Leaders must be flexible in managing changing opportunities and challenges and nimble enough to pivot at the right moment. Stubbornness is no longer desirable to most organizations. Instead, humility and the willingness to adapt mark a great leader. 8. Passion "The only way to do great work is to love the work you do." -Steve Jobs Those who love what they do don’t have to work a day in their lives. People who are able to bring passion to their business have a remarkable advantage, as that passion is contagious to customers and colleagues alike. Finding and increasing your passion will absolutely affect your bottom line. 9. Surprise and Delight "A true leader always keeps an element of surprise up his sleeve, which others cannot grasp but which keeps his public excited and breathless." -Charles de Gaulle Most people like surprises in their day-to-day lives. Likeable leaders underpromise and overdeliver, assuring that customers and staff are surprised in a positive way. There are a plethora of ways to surprise without spending extra money - a smile, We all like to be delighted — surprise and delight create incredible word-of-mouth marketing opportunities. 10. Simplicity "Less isn't more; just enough is more." -Milton Glaser The world is more complex than ever before, and yet what customers often respond to best is simplicity — in design, form, and function. Taking complex projects, challenges, and ideas and distilling them to their simplest components allows customers, staff, and other stakeholders to better understand and buy into your vision. We humans all crave simplicity, and so today's leader must be focused and deliver simplicity. 11. Gratefulness "I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." -Gilbert Chesterton Likeable leaders are ever grateful for the people who contribute to their opportunities and success. Being appreciative and saying thank you to mentors, customers, colleagues, and other stakeholders keeps leaders humble, appreciated, and well received. It also makes you feel great! Donor's Choose studied the value of a hand-written thank-you note, and actually found donors were 38% more likely to give a 2nd time if they got a hand-written note! The Golden Rule: Above all else, treat others as you’d like to be treated By showing others the same courtesy you expect from them, you will gain more respect from coworkers, customers, and business partners. Holding others in high regard demonstrates your company’s likeability and motivates others to work with you. This seems so simple, as do so many of these principles — and yet many people, too concerned with making money or getting by, fail to truly adopt these key concepts. Which of these principles are most important to you — what makes you likeable? Dave Kerpen is the New York Times bestselling author of two books, Likeable Social Media and Likeable Business. - ---------------- mcp ------------- "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway "Storytelling is the most powerful way to put ideas into the world today." - Robert McAfee Brown "I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I've become. If I had, I'd have done it a lot earlier." - Oprah Winfrey "As a small businessperson, you have no greater leverage than the truth." - John Whittier "Individuals play the game, but teams beat the odds." - SEAL Team Saying ---------------- mcp ------------- "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." - Charles Swindoll "When you're finished changing, you're finished." - Ben Franklin "The only way to do great work is to love the work you do." - Steve Jobs "A true leader always keeps an element of surprise up his sleeve, which others cannot grasp but which keeps his public excited and breathless." - Charles de Gaulle "Less isn't more; just enough is more." - Milton Glaser "I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." - Gilbert Chesterton --- 05:56 2 scoop.it's Social Emotional Learning Core Competencies http://qedfoundation.org/social-emotional-learning-core-competencies/ --- Sacramento County Unified School District http://casel.org/collaborating-districts-initiative/sacramento-california/ SCUSD has an immediate opening for the following position: Specialist II, Bullying Prevention (MAN-704) Full-time, 11-month position Annual Salary $66,973–$82,825 Open Until Filled one of the coolest jobs I've heard of! --- 06:33 FB-MCP Happy VD (whoops, that sounds bad...) Happy Valentine's Day! The only day dedicated to a feeling -- Love -- the very best feeling of all! mcp testimonial, pkp testimonial "Hey Matt and Paula, we all love you both :)" - Shauna Wright --- 06:40 Thank you. I am fine. It didn't escalate to more than him pushing me a couple times (I hit him in defense) and I've worked through being completely in shock that he would touch me no matter how small all the way to thinking it wasn't extreme so why put up a stink. Like you said, I'm working through what is alright with me and what is not. I'm not upset anymore or holding it against him, I'm just trying to decide if it is something I can move on from. Thank you again! - Elizabeth Newman --- I understand your frustration Gay about not being able to get a point across to someone though. It makes you doubt your ability to make a point. Another thing to remember is the fact there are many people who don't have much EQ and the less they have the harder it is to get certain things across like "personal responsibility" Most people play the victim card when they don't want to take responsibility. That I find very frustrating myself at times. But luckily for me 98% of people I'm close to have very high EQ. That makes me VERY lucky and smart! - Glori --- Do take this as a warning sign... once he has given himself 'permission' to put his hands on you (and/or the kids) in anger, over time, short time or long time, it will usually escalate. Also, it's dangerous that you touched him... police don't always arrest the man. And, if this has happened to you before, and you guys haven't had a fight in 6 years, there's something you, and he, need to learn about how to fight correctly/honestly/powerfully, but responsibly. Plus, if there's a minor child involved, that makes things more serious. If there is DV in a home with a minor child, a mandated reporter is required to file a report with CPS. Stay strong. Make a plan. Write down your boundaries. Dig inside yourself (I wish you woulda come to class last weekend... this issue was there). Use your personal power to keep yourself, and your kiddos, safe and out of harm's way. Unfortunately, in this situation, HIS feelings are the least important, while HIS actions are the focus to work thru this. - I appreciate that you would be willing to speak with him but I don't see that being an option right now. He wouldn't take anything from it and that was a major issue we had in therapy.While I am not angry with him, I've told him that he needs to realize he has lost my trust in him as my protector and really played on something that he is fully aware was an issuer from my past. My ex husband started with just a push so why should I be convinced that this is any different? You're right, for this escalation we have a lot of deeper anger and resentment issues. We will always have trust issues because he isn't trust worthy and I've let that be ok for Far too long. He had recognized that within the last year I've had a lot of growth with knowing my worth and not settling for less than I deserve and he can't support that. He can't play on my guilt or insecurities any more and I think that builds his anger.We aren't together still and I'm actually taking the kids and getting out of town for a few days. Thank you for taking the time to give me some advice and listen to me vent. Happy Valentines Day! --- 07:48 whatchathink Paul? - Matt • The mission of the organization. 2GetHelp's mission is to make a fundamental shift in human consciousness by changing the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and documented results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe! As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we, especially men, make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we think, but we do not know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. EQ is already having significant, measurable effects on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. Our mission is to spread EQ through inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, with the goal of having these concepts and skills effect large-scale social change, and eventually, world peace. --- 07:50 go... no jacket, nice ferry ride... majorly foggy... went slooow, and honked a lot! CostCo / Wal*Mart list from Paula WF = $2.5k, before my check hits tomorrow. --- 1:02 out 1:25 ferry BEAUTIFUL out! short sleeve weather at 69. CostCo and WalMart --- 2:15 at SR, shuttin' down laptop Interview with Joshua Freedman and Susan Stillman of 6 Seconds http://www.prx.org/accounts/128327-chuckwolfe/pieces --- ND testimonial Glori Celis As far as a support group who would facilitate it? I do like the idea of sticking with the childhood stuff given that's what I'm finding coming up almost daily. Matt Perelstein's right that the faulty belief systems are the culprits. It does sound like a big undertaking to start a support group. I'd definitely be down for that tho. 14 hours ago via mobile · Like..Glori Celis One last thing, Matt I agree our bodies want to release the emotion. We or I learned to block emotions cuz it wasn't safe as a kid to do it. Being safe or feeling safe is the key for me. Everybody says you have to trust yourself or create your own safety but I've found with the right support it HELPS TREMENDOUSLY to find the trust in myself and much easier to create safety. --- We are a Bible-based and Holy Ghost-inspired sisterhood for those who seek support in developing self-esteem, setting boundaries and limits, forgiveness, Godly confrontation, recognizing and cutting ties with reprobates, healing, and rejoicing in the peace and love of the Lord, our Father. http://www.luke173ministries.org/ --- Oprah 10 Things You're Doing That Are Driving Other People Crazy http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Things-You-Do-That-Drive-Other-People-Crazy-Annoying-Habits --- 2:26 clean out fridge grab extra hangers get dirty clothes/towels, receipts shut down laptop pack up and go! CostCo, stuff for us, and tracy kay Rowland, Novato Wal*Mart, more stuff Cotati Willits Safeway - fake crab and Breton crackers AM/PM - gas ($3.93, up 70 cents from a month ago!) call pkp, home soon hitchhiker, with big pack and 2 big doggies 8:30ish home (after 2 weeks, 800 miles, total trip, FB -> SR -> Fresno -> SR -> FB) 'ritas, with sweets stuff (name -- agora?) crackers, cream cheese, salmon nice pkp to bed about 10 coach --- 2.15 it takes at LEAST 15 min for my PC to boot up completely! not incl. Outlook and browser trash fire(s), unload RAV, doggie water, etc. 07:47 --- EQ Advisory board Josh Ayman Ray Daniel Catherine Puglisi Sanjoli(sp?) Susan S. etc. --- LI-EIN 21/18 --- Johnny Garlic's restaurant in Santa Rosa Guy Fieri's first restaurant --- "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." - Carl Jung Setting goals is a really important part of helping you to focus on where you want to go. By setting a goal, you end up with a road map you can follow. - Kim Stirling you are not the things you do, but the way you are being. -------------- mcp ----------- "Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the poeple you can. As long as ever you can." - John Wesley If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. - Soren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855) --- Well... I am excited ... Margaritas, crab and shrimp tacos, did I say Margaitas...romantic evening with just the two of us... did I say margaritas... some great time for us to reconnect and enjoy each other ! Happy Valentine's Day ... I love you lots PKP --- USPS.com A self-supporting government enterprise, the U.S. Postal Service is the only delivery service that reaches every address in the nation, 151 million residences, businesses and Post Office Boxes. The Postal Service receives no tax dollars for operating expenses, and relies on the sale of postage, products and services to fund its operations. With 32,000 retail locations and the most frequently visited website in the federal government, usps.com, the Postal Service has annual revenue of more than $65 billion and delivers nearly 40 percent of the world’s mail. If it were a private sector company, the U.S. Postal Service would rank 35th in the 2011 Fortune 500. In 2011, the U.S. Postal Service was ranked number one in overall service performance, out of the top 20 wealthiest nations in the world, Oxford Strategic Consulting --- 10:30 IMS standup mtg 11:30 IMS mtg with Shruti --- >> today ,IMS, 10:30 standup, 11 mtg with Shruti re: DAE2 validation learning Debug tool ,MAC, 1-3pm xMFF Rite Aid flyers Orders ,print labels xfill some of the older ones today ,Crab & shrimp tacos Saturday MFF mail labels for Arlene MFF: I'm house mgr at 2,5,8 showings at Matheson bring labels Sunday 10am, Josh is coming over to do the rest of orders Monday off? write! Tuesday back to SR Other: Vibe Oil, 2x --- 4:42 PP = 3234 (nice!) -9 24hour -11 Safeway in Willits --- 5:26 It's BEAUTIFUL outside now, and this weekend! Anyone need me to go out 'Euc Hunting' for them?? (they're fast, but I'm persistent, so I'm usually able to 'bag' my limit! :). --- Dharma is the epitome of pure love. --- 6:02 info@familyworks.org bcc: Tom O. Classroom Rental, April 12-14, 2013 Hi Candy, If you'll recall, I stopped in yesterday (from Fort Bragg) to see the classroom, and I'm interested in holding one of our New Directions Emotional Intelligence training classes at your facility, April 12-14. We like your location because one of our students rents a flat across from your office on Joseph Court for his band practice area. We'd have between 12-15 students, need only chairs (we can move the tables to the side), and we'll bring in some music, and tissues, but that's about it. Do you have a white board or flip chart holder we can use, too? You mentioned that you'd need to pass this by your ED, so please let her know we're interested, so we'd need availability, price, etc. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Thanks much. Enjoy the beautiful weather! - Matt Perelstein 916-599-8597 (c) http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com --- crab and shrimp tacos 'ritas (again) Scrabble. some good talking, not much. I cut it off before it got ugly. 10ish slept on coach... for real. --- 2.16 05:50 up orders 'til... 09:20 did 14 Starters, to go today. go get more banana leaves ,order leaves >> get Santana tunes Rob Thomas, Dave Matthews, et. al. ,to Coast Pack -n- Ship --- LI-EIN 12/19 More of us are living until 100. The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show that the number of people reaching 105 or over has almost doubled in the past decade. --- 10:10 >> call Paul re: 2GH mission and talking points • The mission of the organization. 2GetHelp's mission is to make a fundamental shift in human consciousness by changing the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and documented results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe! As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we, especially men, make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we think, but we do not know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. EQ is already having significant, measurable effects on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. Our mission is to spread EQ through inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, with the goal of having these concepts and skills effect large-scale social change, and eventually, world peace. --- Scotto, selling bikes Auburn, that he built for Rachel, $300 Jerod's bike, 24" >> Red Schwin, sell frame, PR same wheels?, good cranks? 2500 bike! --- D-R In 2006, he was Head Teaching Fellow for "Positive Psychology," the most popular course at Harvard at the time - The Happiness Dividend http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/06/the_happiness_dividend.html Nearly every company in the world gives lip service to the idea that "our people are our greatest asset." Yet when the Conference Board Survey came out earlier this year, employees were the unhappiest they have been in their 22 years of tracking job satisfaction rates. Around the same time, CNNMoney reported a survey that indicated 84% of Americans are unhappy with their current job. And earlier this month, Mercer's "What's Working" survey found that one in three US employees are serious about leaving their current jobs. Why is this lack of happiness at work important? Job satisfaction is not only the key predictor of turnover rates, in The Happiness Advantage, I make the research case for the fact that the single greatest advantage in the modern economy is a happy and engaged workforce. A decade of research proves that happiness raises nearly every business and educational outcome: raising sales by 37%, productivity by 31%, and accuracy on tasks by 19%, as well as a myriad of health and quality of life improvements. Yet even those companies that do take leadership training seriously still ignore the role that happiness plays in leadership effectiveness. Given the unprecedented level of unhappiness at companies and the direct link between the employees' happiness and business outcomes, the question is NOT whether happiness should matter to companies. Given this research, it clearly should. The real question is: Can a company do anything to raise the happiness level of an employee? To test the ROI of investing in happiness, I wanted to find a company in the midst of high challenge. In 2009, I chose the auditing and tax accounting firm KPMG, as they were about to be hit with perhaps the most stressful tax season in decades after the banking crisis in 2008. January to April is the most stressful time for the managers at KPMG, so in December, half of the managers in the study at the New Jersey and New York offices were provided a three-hour introduction to positive psychology research and how to apply those principles at work. The employees were then evaluated three times — before the training, a week after the training, and four months later in April — using a battery of standard metrics including life satisfaction measures, perceived stress, social support, perceived effectiveness at work and work optimism. Every single positive metric improved significantly for the trained group between Time 1 (before the training) and Time 2 (a week after the training). This indicated that the training was an initial success, but the real question is whether the training would hold. There is often a "honeymoon effect" after trainings in which respondents feel totally changed, then immediately return back to their previous state as soon as they see their inbox. Yet in this case, the effect held for the entire four months. Most significantly, the life satisfaction scores, which indicate personal and professional happiness, were significantly higher four months later as compared to how the managers were before the training, and also as compared to the managers in the control group. A brief three-hour training and a non-mandatory invitation to create a positive habit for 21 days created a high ROI not only in the short-term, but in the longer term as well. Individuals can begin to do two things on their own. First, recognize that happiness is an advantage at work. This will encourage you to seek happiness in the present instead of waiting for a future success. As a result, your brain will have more resources necessary to accomplish your work. Second, you can literally train your brain for higher levels of happiness at work by creating habits shown to increase job satisfaction. In the training with KPMG, we suggested five: Write down three new things you are grateful for each day; Write for 2 minutes a day describing one positive experience you had over the past 24 hours; Exercise for 10 minutes a day; Meditate for 2 minutes, focusing on your breath going in and out; Write one, quick email first thing in the morning thanking or praising a member on your team. Gratitude, focusing on positive experiences, exercise, meditating, and random acts of kindness are all ways to change the pattern through which your brain views work. And if you have other tips you've tried on your job, please share them in the comments! This research is only the beginning of understanding how to create and sustain a positive and engaged workforce. These findings clearly indicate that not only can a company influence the happiness of its employees with a short intervention and low investment of resources, but the effects are sustained even in times of great challenge. In other words, investing in happiness pays great dividends. For a copy of the study, please contact me or visit goodthinkinc.com More blog posts by Shawn Achor More on: Managing yourself, Morale, Personal effectiveness SHAWN ACHOR Shawn Achor is the founder of Good Think, Inc. and the author of The Happiness Advantage. In 2006, he was Head Teaching Fellow for "Positive Psychology," the most popular course at Harvard at the time. He holds a Masters from Harvard Divinity School and has spoken in 45 countries to a wide variety of audiences, including bankers on Wall Street, students in Dubai, and CEOs in Zimbabwe. --- Great piece Pablo... thanks. Here are some stats from this powerful article.... "CNNMoney reported a survey that indicated 84% of Americans are unhappy with their current job. " "A decade of research proves that happiness raises nearly every business and educational outcome: raising sales by 37%, productivity by 31%, and accuracy on tasks by 19%, as well as a myriad of health and quality of life improvements." "To test the ROI of investing in happiness, I wanted to find a company in the midst of high challenge. In 2009, I chose the auditing and tax accounting firm KPMG, as they were about to be hit with perhaps the most stressful tax season in decades after the banking crisis in 2008..." ... and... "Every single positive metric improved significantly for the trained group!" Read it, and then be sure to put EQ training into your business training regimen! - 11:38 Scoop.it Here are some stats from this powerful article.... "CNNMoney reported a survey that indicated 84% of Americans are unhappy with their current job. " ... and then, after EQ training... "Every single positive metric improved significantly for the trained group!" Read it, and then be sure to put EQ training into your business training regimen! --- 10 ways to live longer Share on facebook Share on linkedin Share on twitter Share on email More Sharing Services http://askten.co.uk/resources/articles/10-ways-live-longer 14th February 2013 The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show that the number of people reaching 105 or over has almost doubled in the past decade. And scientists think only about 30% of ageing is down to our genes, which means that the majority of other factors are in our hands. So what are the new super-centenarians doing right? Here’s ten things to do to live a long and healthy life into your twilight years. 1. Eat less. Cutting your daily calorie intake by 25%-30%, to 1,400-2,000 a day, can help you stay young at heart. Researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine in St Louis showed that the hearts of monkeys who were fed less functioned like those 15 years younger. “It’s about getting the most nutrition per calorie,” says Professor Luigi Fontana, who led the study. 2. Drink four cups of coffee a day. A 12-year study by the American National Cancer Institute published last year found that men who drank at least six cups of coffee a day reduced their risk of dying by 10%. For women in the same category, the risk of dying was 15% lower than for non-coffee drinkers. The “coffee effect” was seen across most causes of death, including heart and respiratory disease, stroke, diabetes and even accidents, but not cancer. 3. Do daily squats and lunges. Up to a third of older hip-fracture patients die within a year because of complications from the trauma. Performing daily squats and lunges is one of the best routes to maintaining that all-important lower-body strength. 4. Get a dog. Dr Deborah Wells, a psychologist at Queen’s University in Belfast, reviewed dozens of studies to conclude that dog owners enjoy a longer and healthier life than the rest of the population. “It’s possible that dogs can directly promote our health by buffering us from stress,” she says. “Owning a dog leads to increased physical activity and social contact, which may enhance both physiological and psychological human health.” 5. Eat porridge. Dr Yikyung Park, of the American National Cancer Institute, found that a daily bowl of porridge could extend your life. His study of almost 400,000 men and women found those who ate lots of fibre-rich foods cut their risk of dying prematurely by a fifth. 6. Don’t get divorced. It can make you wrinkled and haggard, according to a facial-analysis study carried out at University Hospitals Case Medical Center, Cleveland, on identical twins. Plastic surgeons found that twins who had gone through divorce were perceived to look almost two years older than their sibling who had stayed either single or married. 7. Win something. Academy Award winners live an average four years longer than other actors, while multiple Oscar winners live a whole six years longer, according to Professor Donald Redelmeier of the University of Toronto. Olympic medallists also live longer than the norm. Researchers compared birth and death statistics of more than 15,000 Olympic athletes who had won medals between 1896 and 2010, and found they lived an average of nearly three years longer than others born in the same year. 8. Walk to avoid depression. Studies have shown a daily stroll helps conquer mild to moderate depression. And it could show in your face. When plastic surgeons asked subjects to review photographs of the faces of 186 sets of identical twins, they found those who had taken antidepressants in the past looked more wrinkled. 9. Get dating. Loneliness is ageing. A 2010 study assessed old people on a five-point scale for loneliness. Researchers found that for each point on the scale past the baseline, physical decline was more rapid and linked to a 50% greater risk of death. 10. Turn this article upside down. Dr Marios Kyriazis, a medical adviser to the British Longevity Society, believes stressing the mind in fun ways helps us live longer. “I recommend specific brain exercises such as trying to remember lists of names, reading the paper holding it upside down, or lying on the floor looking at all the details of the room,” he says. --- 12:00 GC and FB-EP More good news! The US Post Office now gives free Tracking #'s for all Priority Mail (which is how we ship Eucs to you)! So now, if there's ever a problem (which there very rarely is) we can track your package every step of the way... very cool, ey?! Try some Eucs today. - Matt - 12:40 and AA http://forums.avianavenue.com/marketplace/91917-birds-love-fresh-eucalyptus-5.html --- Online Labels, Inc. Mailing Labels ol125wx, 25x250 = 2500 labels, 4" x 2" 25.90 + 4.95 shipping = 30.90 2084335 Avery 5163 - 12:32 MFF Hi Arlene, Attached are the 171 Donor Tools contacts, converted into Mailing Labels. I printed 'em and I'll bring 'em with me today. More to follow. - Matt DonorToolsLabels_20130216.docx --- off to Coast P&S then to Mendo for "All you need is love" my talks 2pm 45x lousy 5pm 115x good 8pm 66x very good ----------- ~225x 10:30 home pkp made pizza sleep on coach --- 2.17 (sunday, and still no R) 03:33 up to poop, and watch ESPN for a bit MJ's 50th! NBA all-star game 3-pt and slam dunk contests 04:30 back to snooze (in PR's old room) 06:50 here 07:09 PP = 3258 -146 Coast P&S finish labels, for me and Josh to fill --- LI-EIN 13/8 John Maerz commented on what are you? Avigail- Thanks for your response for clarification. :-) Awareness is not directed by anything. It simply is. In the way we usually relate to the word, it should be a verb not a noun. It is our movement within our body and mind. It is simply being. Perception is what we capture or attach to with our mind and take through our experience in time. It is literally what the mind seizes hold of. (look up the word perceive on www.etymonline.com) Subconscious is what is below our threshold of attention. There are two ways something can get there. Either we have so much on our mind that all else takes priority over it and it gets relegated to "beneath the heap" or we intentionally push it there because it's something that disagrees with our chosen beliefs. If we push it, it becomes polarized or charged and produces an attraction much like an atom loses an electron. A belief is something we have accepted as being valid or true for us. The validity comes from our personal experience or the "word" of someone we implicitly trust. So, all reality is subjective. We choose our reality. If we're not there to "perceive" it, it is not true for us. Since this truth is only true for us, when we experience a person with THEIR reality and it's not based on OUR experience, it might not be true for us. If it threatens our perception of our decided truth, we may openly deny it and push it below our threshold of perception, or, into our subconscious. This produces a point of attraction. (the real law of attraction) When we push something below our threshold of perception, we must understand that we have given it attention...energy...a charge. We are now polarized to that issue. Since like attracts like (a universal law), that issue now directs our perception (it's charged and attracts our attention). So, in answer to your question, beliefs, consciously or subconsciously, DO NOT direct our awareness but they DO direct our perception. Thanks for the offer. :-) -John --- The number of Americans working from home has jumped 41% since 1999. --- 07:47 Hi Nicole, good question... ... but what you heard is the opposite of what's true. Euc branches dry and get harder, not softer, so they will easily hold your birdies! And, there's no 'success' about it... when they get older, they dry out... period. The good thing is that some birds enjoy them more after they've dried. Sooo, I'd get some branches now... let them enjoy them if they want... and just leave them in the cage... for months (if they don't chew them to pieces first, as many do!)... and then, as they dry, they may like them more. I'll also leave fresh leaves on, and they will also dry, and get more brittle, over time... but again, some like 'em better that way. btw, even the 1/2" thick branches... the thinnest... should easily hold the weight of your little friends. Sound good? - Matt www.EucProducts.com/branches -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus question From: Nicole Marie Barren Date: Sat, February 16, 2013 4:45 pm To: "Eucs@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt, I was just reading about your product on Avian Avenue and am interested in purchasing some eucalyptus for my parrots, but I have some questions. From the little amount of research I've done, it seems like eucalyptus is most durable for perches when seasoned and dried properly, but I also read that the eucalyptus that grows in the U.S. is difficult to dry and thus very soft. Have you or your customers had any experience successfully drying it? If it dries naturally on its own, does it become too soft to use for a perch? Is it something that is only good for a small amount of time then? My birds are small and relatively light- a cockatiel and a black-headed caique, if that helps. Thanks, Nicole --- I don't usually save all the correspondence to/from Euc customers, or this file would be MUCH larger! --- ND testimonial Ricci Choate Thanks ND for all your love and care last weekend !! --- 07:57 Happy Birthday 2U, Happy Birthday 2U, Happy Birthday sweet Jenna, Happy Birthday 2U!!!!!!!!! Luv you, miss you, have a great one! --- 07:58 up to house to 'meet' with Paula re: my involvement with ND (whatever) well, interesting... we're not gonna split the companies and I am to run class under 2GH, rather than ND ok. cool. I suggested that long ago. she said she'd write an email to the students notifying them of the change, and she'd let me read it first... we'll see. ...and she said she'd call Gloria, and box up all the 2GH paperwork, financials, and checking account stuff, and I could send it to Gloria... we'll see. ... and she said she thought this would actually HELP our marriage... we'll see. --- 10:18 New Domains: equniversity.com is gone got equniversity.org eq-university.com is available eq_university... did you mean equniversity? no, but anywayz... 2GetHelpWorkshop.com 2GetHelpWorkshops.com 2GetHelpWorkshop.org $31, including 'round up for charity' to Semper Fi Fund - eq-university.com EQ University is a Disabled Veteran Owned Business established in 1997 by Dr. Rich Handley. We were the first web site to offer online Emotional Intelligence Assessment using the BarOn EQ-i® and Web Based Training. Leadership on the new frontier of human and organizational potential is about Optimizing People for success. The Leaders job on the high performance frontier is about Influencing, Training and Developing people. Emotionally Intelligent leaders have higher impact through stronger Leadership Presence. The Process To unlock your potential as a leader, you have to know what's holding you back. Thus, the process begins with an assessment of your emotional intelligence and Leadership Presence utilizing the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i®). Participants complete the EQ-i® online, and will receive a report of their results plus a separate analysis of their Executive Presence. Next, we will will conduct an initial telephonic feedback session interpreting your results. The Value Proposition The cost of the initial assessmet is very reasonable and includes a comprehensive emotional intelligence assessment using the EQ-i® + detailed report on your resuls, plus initial feedback session. Additional follow up coaching sessions with EQ university, plus materials customized for you to specifically enhance your Executive Presence are also available for an additional fee. You get what you pay for in life. C players can't coach A players. This is A-level coaching from the A-level coaching resource in the realm of Emotional Intelligence. 360 Degree Assessment While the EQ-i® is a self report of emotional intelligence, the EQ-360® includes the EQ-i® assessment plus a multi-rater 360 degree assessment allowing multiple individuals to rate the person's emotional and social functioning which provides a unique and powerful self/others perspective. When the observer ratings are compared with the results of a standard EQ-i® self-report, a complete 360-degree profile emerges. The founder of EQ University, Dr. Rich Handley, co-authored the orginal EQ360® along with Dr. Reuven Bar-On and is a recognized expert in its use, which is particularly powerful in the area of leadership development and assessment of leadership presence. EQ University has assessed more than 20,000 individuals so you can be confident in our ability to help you. We offer: Star Performer Profiling Pre-employment Screening Evaluation of Leadership Potential Employee Assessment to guide development/training Team Assessment and Evaluation Organizational Culture/Climate Assessment and Evaluation Contact us 210-865-8373 dean@equniversity.com --- it is with sadness that Matt and I will not be producing classes under the non-profit 2GetHelp.com --- The Number One Reason Employees Get Sick….Perceived Unfairness at Work http://results.envisialearning.com/the-number-one-reason-employees-get-sick-perceived-unfairness-at-work/ February 10, 2013 by Ken Nowack Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Anonymous Recent studies confirm that emotional hurt and rejection, whether part of social interactions or the perception of inequitable and unjust workplace conditions can actually trigger the same neurophysiologic pathways associated with physical pain and suffering (Eisenberger, Lieberman, & Williams, 2003). In a nifty study by Naomi Eisenberger and colleagues at UCLA (http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/WhyRejectionHurts(TICS).pdf), she was able to use the latest technology to peer into the inner workings of our brain called functional magnetic resonance (fMRI) while a team was involved in a social exercise designed to provoke feelings of social isolation and rejection. She studied what part of the brain was activated while a group of subjects played a computer game with other individuals they did not know. She created two possibilities of being rejected–either actively or passively (she told them they couldn’t not continue because of some technical problems). Comparison of fMRI brain activity in the active exclusion group versus inclusion conditions revealed greater activity in the part of the brain that is associated with physical pain (anterior cingulate cortex). Additionally, the subjects who were rejected also reported feeling psychological distress based on self-report measures1. Current findings suggest that people report higher levels of self-reported pain and have diminished performance on a cognitively demanding task after reliving a past socially meaningful event than a past physically painful event2. Additionally, interpersonal judgment and social evaluation tends to elicit strong stress reactions with cortisol levels in our system being elevated fifty percent longer when the stressor is interpersonal versus impersonal3. It might take approximately an hour for our cortisol levels to respond to “normal” after dealing with an upsetting interpersonal situation. Perceived Unfairness and Employee Health Quite a bit of research supports the idea that when employees experience injustice (distributive or procedural), psychological contract breach (e.g., feeling exploited in our work relationship with the company) or unfairness can negatively impact an employee’s health. In a very comprehensive meta-analysis, 279 studies were reviewed to explore the association between employee perceived fairness at work and diverse health outcomes (e.g., absenteeism, job burnout, unhealthy behaviors, negative emotional states, and physical health problems4. Perceived unfairness was significantly associated with indicators of physical and mental health. Several findings were interesting to note: Although unfairness was significantly associated with poorer health, the results suggested that unfairness was more strongly associated with indicators of strain and psychological conditions, rather than, physical health outcomes. Mental health problems were most pronounced for those experiencing distributive injustice (i.e., the kind of injustice related to distribution of rewards and recognition). Neither age or gender had any impact on the association between unfairness and health. Interactional unfairness (interpersonal interactions) was consistently one of the weaker predictors of employee health. However, a closer look at the analyses suggested that interactional justice uniquely predict some health indicators such as job burnout and stress above and beyond distributive and procedural injustice. These findings suggest that perceived unfairness is a pretty significant predictor of employee health and that the experience of interpersonal mistreatment (e.g., disrespect, bullying behavior, evaluative feedback) are highly associated with well-being. We already know that working for a competent jerk can be a health risk5. It would seem safe to conclude that both perceived social inequity, unfairness and negative interpersonal interactions might be more important than just impacting disengagement–it might actually directly lead to such health outcomes as job burnout, absenteeism and psychological distress…Be well….. Eisenberger, N., Lieberman, M. and Williams, K. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302, 290-292 [?] Chen, Z., Williams, K., Fitness, J. & Newton, N. (2008). When hurt will not heal. Exploring the capacity to relive social and physical pain. Psychological Perspectives, 19, 789-795 [?] Dickerson, S. & Kemeny. M. (2004). Acute stressors and cortisol responses: A theoretical integration and synthesis of laboratory research. Psychological Bulletin, 130, 355-391 [?] Robbins, J. (2012). Perceived unfairness and employee health: A meta-analytic integration. Journal of Applied Psychology, 97, 235-272 [?] Nyberg. et al., 2008. Managerial leadership and ischaemic heart disease among employees: The Swedish WOLF study. Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 66, 51-55 [?] - D-R overlap between physical and social pain http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/WhyRejectionHurts(TICS).pdf - 4:30-45 Thinking of you guys... a. Hi! b. The gang all came to class last weekend and did Fabulously! Very proud of 'em all. Brett decided to make a huge life change, and have you met Nikki... wonderful lady (issues, but wonderful, and working on them). I'd love to talk to you more about them, but confidentiality, and all... (oh, and we got another 'save', too!) c. Would you forward the attached PDF to Michael, please. It's the most complete research I've seen on the overlap of Physical and Social pain, from UCLA. In addition to those studies, they're now suggesting that social, turned physical pain is the #1 reason for employees to miss work... that's huge in potential cost savings! d. Along those lines I thought of you 'cause I made a new date goal for myself that I'm excited about and wanted to share with you (you'll recall that I missed the last one, 9.11.2012, and you guys made it...) so I now have my sights set on Aug. 20, my 1-year anniversary at work. (Actually, it's near enough, so maybe I'll just change it to 9.11.2013 outta respect). I think I may have shared with you that I was given a 'sign-on bonus' to take this job (at IMS Health), but when I read the fine-print, if I don't make it a whole year, I gotta pay it all back... even tho' almost 50% was taken out in taxes... so I'd owe them ddoouubbllee what I received. As you've heard me whine for years now, I want so badly to create a job/career/business/project where I can work on/write about/research/teach EQ full-time. This Wednesday, Feb. 20, I'll already be half-way-there, so I'm trying to put into action the steps that will allow me to make that happen. e. Bye. f. Love and miss you. g. - Matt h. (what's with the line letters?) i. (I'm not sure. It's sunday afternoon, and I'm in a silly mood, enjoying thinking of you guys, and my right-brain overtakes my left-brain, and who knows where it goes from there... sure fun sometimes tho.!.) --- mcp testimonial this is what I focus on……….. every single day, I am thankful to God and all that be that we have people like you in our lives. This kind of freedom, love, the tribal knowing, the unspoken languages, the all around community “getting it” is precious to me. I have so much respect for you for caring/loving her enough to go there and be honest with her. She truly needs someone who cares enough to take the risk. If anyone can do it, it is you Matt. You are right it may not work but what have you got to lose, right? Right now, I have made the kids (Mike and Shannah) the priority, they only have us in Washington, their Mother has taught them that you can throw people away, permanently and with a hateful energy and bias that is unacceptable and damaging. I cannot risk losing them right now but I am watching you closely, and learning from the MASTER. Thank you for yet another opportunity to watch you work. I LOVE my Mentors and you and Paula, my dear friends, have ALWAYS been. Thank you for that. Loving you back, Sheila~** --- great heart=to-heart with PKP re: splitting / not splitting DU and 2GH --- 6:36 Emotional Intelligence http://www.sciofself.com/ The evolutionary purpose of emotions, and how emotions affect our ability to survive and adapt to our environment. The different methods scientists use to study emotions. Learn what influences your emotions, such as thoughts, past experiences, your environment, and your biology. The neuroscience of emotions and self-regulation. How the "thinking" parts of your brain keep the "feeling" parts in check. How to change the way you process emotions through techniques like: cognitive therapy, meditation, exercise, music, entertainment and more. What is emotional intelligence? How can you become more aware of your emotions and learn from your emotions (even "negative emotions" like anger, fear, and sadness)? The importance of finding healthy ways to express emotions and giving yourself "permission to experience the full-range of human emotions." --- Tom Dolce Hi Tom. That's about it... just wanted to say Hi. I saw your name go by, and wanted to stay in touch with you... so boom. Hope you and yours are happy and well. Love your profile pic of you and your boys! C-ya. - Matt - About Caltrans Caltrans manages more than 50,000 miles of California's highway and freeway lanes, provides inter-city rail services, permits more than 400 public-use airports and special-use hospital heliports, and works with local agencies. Caltrans carries out its mission of improving mobility across California with six primary programs: Aeronautics, Highway Transportation, Mass Transportation, Transportation Planning, Administration and the Equipment Service Center. --- Five Ways to Renew an Old Love http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_renew_an_old_love The Science of a Meaningful Life http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z7dFDHzV36g Five Ways to Renew an Old Love By Barbara Fredrickson | February 12, 2013 | 0 comments Love is fleeting, says one of the world's leading experts on positive emotion. But with practice, you can foster love anytime you wish—and in doing so, renew old bonds. What does it mean to say that I love my husband, Jeff? I used to think it meant that 18-plus years ago, I fell in love with him—so much so that I abandoned my crusty attitude toward marriage, and chose to dive right in. I used to uphold love as that constant, steady force that defines my relationship with Jeff. I thought of love the way most people do: as something exclusive, lasting, and unconditional. Of course that constant, steady force still exists between us, as a bond that transcends moments in time. But my work as a scientist throws love into a new light and reveals it as more fleeting than I once thought it was. I’ve concluded that love, as your body sees it, is the momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events: A sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another; A synchrony between your and the other person’s biochemistry and behaviors; A reflected motive to invest in each other’s well-being that brings mutual care. My shorthand for this trio is positivity resonance. This back-and-forth reverberation of positive energy sustains itself—and can even grow stronger—until the momentary connection wanes—which is of course inevitable, because that’s how emotions work. Here’s something that’s hard to admit: If I take my body’s perspective on love seriously, it means that right now—at this very moment in which I’m crafting this sentence—I do not love my husband. Our positivity resonance, after all, only lasts as long as long as we two are physically or emotionally engaged with one another. Bonds last. Love doesn’t. The good news is that love is a renewable resource. That bond I share with Jeff forges a deep and abiding sense of safety within our relationship, a safety that tills the soil for frequent moments of love. Knowing now that, from our bodies’ perspective, love is positivity resonance—nutrient-rich bursts that accrue to make Jeff, me, and the bond we share healthier—shakes us out of any complacency that tempts us to take our love for granted, as a mere attribute of our relationship. Love, this new view tells us with some urgency, is something we should re-cultivate every morning, every afternoon, and every evening. Seeing love as positivity resonance motivates us to more often reach out for a hug, or share an inspiring or silly idea or image over breakfast. With practice, you can learn to generate love anytime you wish, and in doing so, steer you and the one you love toward health, happiness, and your higher ground. Here are five ways to make that happen. 1. Look into their eyes—as often as possible Auey Santos You no doubt try to “stay connected” when physical distance keeps you and your loved ones apart. You use the phone, email, texts, or Facebook, and it’s important to do so. Yet your body, sculpted by the forces of natural selection over millennia, was not designed for the abstractions of long-distance love, the XOXs and LOLs. Your body hungers for more. It hungers for moments of oneness. Feelings of oneness surface when two or more people “sync up” and literally come to act as one, moving to the same hidden beat. When you especially resonate with someone else, the two of you are quite literally on the same wavelength, biologically. True connection is one of love’s bedrock prerequisites—and a prime reason that love is not unconditional. True connection is physical and unfolds in real time; it is neither abstract nor mediated. It requires a sensory and temporal co-presence of bodies. The main mode of sensory connection, scientists contend, is eye contact. Other forms of real-time sensory contact—through touch, voice, or mirrored body postures and gestures—no doubt connect people as well and at times can substitute for eye contact. Nevertheless, eye contact may well be the most potent trigger for connection and oneness. To be clear, the sensory and temporal connections you establish with others through physical contact, conversation, or other forms of behavioral synchrony are not, in and of themselves, love. Even holding hands, after all, can become a loveless habit. Yet in the right contexts, meeting eyes or connecting in other ways can become a springboard for love. The right contexts are those infused with safety and the emotional presence of positivity, which couples can cultivate over time and use to find new moments of love. 2. Seek opportunities for cooperative silliness A study I conducted with former Greater Good Science Center fellow Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk of first-time meetings between strangers tells us that nonverbal signs of oneness forecast a shared subjective appreciation of oneness and connection. That’s why dancing or canoeing could be better bets for first-date bonding than simply catching a movie or sharing a meal. But the glue that positivity resonance offers isn’t just for connecting once-strangers at the start of new relationships. It also further cements long-standing ties, making them even more secure and satisfying. Art and Elaine, a long-term married couple living in Long Island, New York, learned this fact in a surprising way. They agreed to participate in a study on the “factors that affect relationships”—but were flabbergasted when the researcher used Velcro bands to tie Art and Elaine’s wrists and ankles together. She told them that their task was to crawl on their hands and knees as fast as they could to the far end of the lab and back, clearing a barrier in each direction. All the while, they’d need to hold a cylinder-shaped pillow off the floor without using their hands, arms, or teeth. If they could complete this absurd task in less than a minute, she told them, they’d win a bag of candy. It didn’t take long for Art and Elaine to discover that they could only hold the pillow up by pressing it between their torsos, which made their bound-crawling all the more challenging. They toppled over several times, laughing uncontrollably. By their third attempt, they finally got their limbs into sync. They beat the clock and won the prize—all smiles and (once unbound) high fives! It turned out some couples in the study didn’t have nearly as much fun as did Elaine and Art. By the flip of a coin, they were assigned to a far more mundane and slow-paced crawling task: Never bound by Velcro, each member of these couples took turns crawling very slowly across the mat, while rolling a ball ahead of them. What the researchers hypothesized—and would find here and in their other experiments—is that couples who were assigned to the fun-filled task actually came to love each other more deeply; they reported greater relationship quality on the follow-up surveys and showed more accepting and fewer hostile behaviors in their follow-up discussions. Engaging in this silly, childlike activity together actually deepened loving feelings and strengthened bonds, even within long-standing intimate relationships. And that’s why couples who regularly do new, exciting, and even silly things together have better quality marriages. See how helpful science can be? 3. Turn unlikely moments into shared history Auey Santos Intimacy is that safe and comforting feeling you get with the knowledge that this other person truly understands and appreciates you. Your mutual sense of trust, perhaps reinforced by your commitments of loyalty to each other, allows each of you to be more open with each other than either of you would be elsewhere. Within these safe environs of intimacy, love can spring up in the most unlikely moments. More than a decade ago, for instance, I was driving through my hometown with my husband, finding my way to a corner store I’d been to only once or twice before. Coming up on the backside of the store, I turned left into what I figured was the back entrance, planning to make my way around the parking lot to the storefront. Only it wasn’t really an entrance. It was just a short gravel road that led nowhere. I stopped the car and stared at the distant storefront. I’m sure I was only frozen like that for a matter of seconds, but husband found it amusing. “Stuck on a gravel road?” he chided. We shared a laugh at my deer-in-the-headlights response. I can’t tell you how many times in the years since Jeff has resurrected this phrase to gently tease me for being a bit slow to figure out an unexpected situation. Knowing me so well, he gets that surprises can stall me out for a moment (or six). Yet instead of taking this recurrence as a character flaw to overlook, or as cause for annoyance or criticism, it’s become our running inside joke. Ever an alchemist, he transforms predicaments like these into micro-moments of love. Love that not only brings me swiftly back into action, but that also reinforces the safety of our bond. Your intimates offer you history, safety, trust, and openness in addition to the frequent opportunity to connect. The more trusting and open you are with someone else—and the more trusting and open that person is with you—the more points of connection each of you may find over which to share a laugh, or a common source of intrigue, serenity, or delight. 4. Take time to appreciate the good things In collaboration with my colleague Sara Algoe, I’ve explored how kindness and appreciation flow back and forth within couples, creating tender moments of positivity resonance that also serve to nourish intimacy and relationship growth. This essay is adapted from Dr. Fredrickson's new book, Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become. We learned from this work that some people tend to say “thanks” better than others. Genuine feelings of appreciation or gratitude, after all, well up when you recognize that someone else went out of their way to do something nice for you. Another way to say this is that the script for gratitude involves both a benefit, or kind deed, and a benefactor, the kind person behind the kind deed. Whereas many people express their appreciation to others by shining a spotlight on the benefit they received—the gift, favor, or the kind deed itself—we discovered that, by contrast, the best “thank-yous” simply use the benefit as a spring- board toward shining a spotlight on the good qualities of the other person, their benefactor. Done well, then, expressing appreciation for your partner’s kindness to you can become a kind gesture in return, one that conveys that you see and appreciate in your partner’s actions their good and inspiring qualities. How did we know that this is the best way to convey appreciation? Because compared to expressions that merely focus on benefits, those that also focus on benefactors make the partner who hears that “thanks” feel understood, cared for, and validated. And this good feeling—the feeling that their partner really “gets” them and cherishes them— allows people to walk around each day feeling better about themselves and better about their relationship. And in six months’ time, it forecast becoming even more solid and satisfied their relationship. Saying “thanks” well then isn’t just a matter of being polite, it’s a matter of being loving, and becoming a stronger version of what together you call “us.” 5. Take your positive emotions to the bank Sooner or later, a long-term relationship will hit a rough patch. More on Love & Positive Emotions Watch Barbara Fredrickson's videos about positive emotions. Read Dr. Fredrickson's Greater Good essay on the power of positive emotions. Discover more about how love grows in your body. Read more about how gratitude makes love last. Take this quiz to measure how compassionate your love is. Take this quiz to discover how trusting you are in your relationship. John Gottman, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on emotions within marriage, tells couples that they can “bank” their shared positive emotions to help them through later tough times. Through decades of meticulous research, Gottman discovered that couples who experience higher ratios of positive to negative emotions with each other, are better able to navigate disagreements and upsets. When discussing difficult topics, for instance, they tend to refrain from mirroring each other’s distress and negativity with their own. Instead, they de-escalate any conflict (or potential conflict) by meeting their partner’s negativity with something altogether different, often making some caring, affirming, or light-hearted comment or gesture that creates space for reflection. Put differently, couples with rich recent histories of positivity resonance are better equipped to defuse the emotional bombs that threaten them both. You can “bank” positivity resonance and draw on it later because momentary experiences of love and other positive emotions build resources. In other words, the small investments you deposit in the so- called bank don’t just sit there. They accumulate, earn interest, and pay out dividends in the form of durable resources that you can later draw on to face a new adversity. Moreover, just as money earned in one arena can be spent in other arenas, the positivity resonance that you create within certain relationships can build personal resources in you—values, beliefs, and skills—that help you navigate all manner of social upsets and difficulties. Having a loving marriage, then, can help you be more resilient within your work team. Sharing more moments of positivity resonance within schools and neighborhoods, for instance, may help whole nations be more resilient during tough times. Resilience matters now more than ever, both your personal resilience, as well as the collective resilience that you cultivate within your family, your community, your nation and our world. No matter how resilient you are today, higher levels of resilience are readily within your grasp. That’s because genuine positive emotions are available to you at any time. And when you connect with others over these good feelings, you create a positivity resonance that energizes and strengthens the metaphorical connective tissue that binds you. Love and resilience are forever renewable resources. About The Author Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., is the Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology and the principal investigator of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Lab at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. She is also the author of Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life. --- Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become ------------- mcp --------------- Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become. --- slept in PR's room --- 2.18 02:30 p called to see where I was stayed up 03:33 rugby 7's! 04:25 snooze 06:50 here - LI-EIN 10/18 To divorce oneself from feelings is impossible for most people. Negative feelings (conflicts) and positive feelings (love) for many go hand in hand. Being a human is about feelings, whether attempting to negate them or embrace them or inflict them upon other people. --- embarrassment is a pointless experience. You have permission to abandon it. - Neale Donald Walsch When the unexpected happens, you always have your inner core strength which cannot be taken from you. "Imagine the choices you’d make if you had no fear—of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval." - Martha Beck I can live for two months on a good compliment. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. - Diane Sawyer --- 07:28 Hey Dad... thanks for the note... glad you guys are well... and Mom's learning Facebook and Word (if you never used these tools, they can be daunting). Thanks for helping her! Class was Excellent, and YES, it was worthwhile (IMHO)! We made some huge breakthroughs and another 'save'. Paula didn't go, but it worked out fine, regardless. HPD! Love you! - Me p.s. - does this make sense? (2GH mission) --- Nurturing Parenting (Val) "Program participation is associated with fewer short-term allegations and fewer longer-term substantiated incidences of maltreatment." --- 07:35 Doc Hi. Happy President's Day. Wanna talk today? I have client meetings at 1 and 3, but before or after 4 would work. - Matt - Ok. Our intention is to get our mutual past cleaned-up from both sides, walk back the cat, so we can move forward together with new boundaries, and without resentment or animosity... right? - Matt 707-964-4425 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: I'm a little confused From: "Doc Downing" Date: Mon, February 18, 2013 7:52 am To: I will call you in about an hour. Doc --- A Unique Approach to Marketing Coca-Cola in Hong Kong by Julia Kirby | 9:00 AM February 14, 2013 Comments (0) http://blogs.hbr.org/hbr/hbreditors/2013/02/a_unique_approach_to_marketing_coca_cola_in_hong_kong.html?utm_medium=linkedin&utm_source=twitterfeed Plenty of advertising is already embedded in electronic games. The new wrinkle is that gaming can be embedded in ads — perhaps the only hope of engaging some people's interest long enough to get a message across. Coca-Cola China's TV ad for the Hong Kong market invited viewers to use their smartphones to "chok" bottle caps flying across their TV screens. --- How to build your networks Share on facebook Share on linkedin Share on twitter Share on email More Sharing Services 18th February 2013 We all know how important networks are to succeeding in business. But most people mistakenly focus on building one network. Instead, you need to think about three separate ones: 1. Your operational network is comprised of the people you rely on to get work done: your peers, direct reports, bosses, and external contacts. Often times you don't choose these folks, but you still need to cultivate them. 2. A developmental network is a group of individuals whom you trust and to whom you can turn to for advice. Select people who bring a diversity of perspectives. 3. Your strategic network helps you prepare for and succeed in the future. In this group, include people who work and live at the edge of your current world and can help you see what's on the horizon. --- 07:45 Scott P. Happy Birthday, bro!! I was GREAT seeing you and the fam over New Years (sorry we didn't get to ski together). Hope you have an excellent day. Does having your birthday on President's day a sign of your future?!? luv u! --- 07:58 PP = 3338 -9 24hour -31 GoDaddy (4 new domains) --- Forwarded new domains to NewDirectionsWorkshop.com 2GETHELPWORKSHOP.COM 2GETHELPWORKSHOP.ORG 2GETHELPWORKSHOPS.COM --- 2GH (from current homepage) http://2gethelp.org/ Mission: 2GetHelp is a nonprofit educational and therapeutic organization dedicated to teaching adults and children the techniques to improve their emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, and to develop and strengthen core beliefs of independent and responsible behavior. --- 08:32 Hi Anita. Thanks again for your fine work (I gotta start replying to you faster, ey... sorry... no offense). I see that you added links to the bottom of the home page too... cool idea. FYI: login for New Directions Workshop is now: Username: Matt P pw: 2gethelp so, we need to almost exactly replicate the NDW site... but change the name... can you get me an idea of how much effort that would take? ND is a for-profit, but we also have 2GetHelp, a 501c3 non-profit that we want to manage the workshops, going forward. Yesterday, I got 2GetHelpWorkshop.com (and 2GetHelpWorkshops.com), and I'd like to copy the whole site there, and just change the name. Whatchathink? you rock! - Matt --- MFF BOD Right on, Arlene... I second that! We ran thru about 225 people total, and I thought it went extremely smoothly. We asked many people going out the doors if they liked 'em, and if they paused for a sec, asked which was their fave. They overwhelmingly liked the experience (only a very few complaints). Most faves I heard were: - the first video, with the awesome pictures and old guy talking about enjoying this day - the love contest/brain-measuring done at Stanford - the guy's head falling into his bowl! (some suggested that one should have been last, as it woulda made a great ending, walking out with a big smile) my other notes: - The concession table never looked better (tho I would suggest a tablecloth)! The simple addition of the 2 black platters under the cookies that CW bought (at the thrift store) changed the whole look, and professionalized the station. Thanks to Shelly for all the popcorn-in'. - The membership thing didn't work...not a single sign-up, as far as I know. Paula stepped in after the 2 people manning the table left. IMHO: the signage needs to say, in big letters, Join Us, or Become a Member, or Help MFF Succeed, or something to tell folks why these people were sitting at the table, and what's possible here. - Alex, CW and CK had the entire place set-up and ready to go when I got there... way to go, gang! It looked great. - There was a small glitch in one of the videos at the first showing, and Alex handled it (and the whole evening) beautifully! - I would really like to see us all having/wearing our MFF nametags/badge/pin/shirt/something at all events. Shows uniformity, and professionalism. I wore my badge-on-a-lanyard from last year, and people knew right away that I was an 'official', who they could ask questions... like... - I suggest a sign, and big arrow, on the front door... pointing folks to the bathroooms. - In the first showing, people only clapped a few times... so on the next two, WE started the clapping after every segment... which I think engaged the audience much more. yay us. - We need a flashlight or two... and perhaps someone stationed in the parking lot before dark-time events to welcome folks and light their way in (the road is really chewed up there and the lighting is poor). - Marshall was 'perfect', and the intro video he put together, showing many clips from famous movies about Love... was exemplary (good idea, Alex)! I added a special 'shout out' to him during my opening schpeal, and mentioned that - We need a way to keep the front doors from slamming shut during the showings. I tried with what was there, but failed. Something soft, but solid, like a piece of rubber?? - Are there popcorn bags that don't make that awful crinkling sound every time? CK mentioned that Coast cinemas bags don't crinkle (waxed paper?), so let's look into that, shall we? - I'd say the average age of our attendees was well over 50. - We need something other than masking tape to attach our posters to the walls, as the tape often tears the poster when removed. Shelly suggested BlueTac. ideas? Thanks again to all for (another) successful event! - Matt --- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - I Corinthians 13:4-8 "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung --- 09:00 - 10 Doc I don't want to work with Paula control where did the money go? correct stuff immediately - Doc's Writings/Posts from FB TIME IS TO BLAME Blaming others makes you a victim. When you can’t find someone to blame, you can always blame time. So, now time is making you a victim? “I’m so busy; I haven’t the time.” Time is not the problem; it is the excuse you use for not doing something. You have as much time as everyone else. It is your choice of priorities, not time, that makes you a victim. Some people are so anxious to be a victim. They will blame time when they are afraid to be honest. Is it OK to be honest and say, “I don’t want to do that?” Are you willing to accept responsibility for your behaviors, and quite blaming time? - For me it is never about trusting somebody else. My life experiences tell me that no one can be trusted. People will disappoint you. I can’t even trust my wife, she could die tomorrow. I hear what people say, “I can’t trust you.” It is as if they were saying that I have the problem and that it is me that cannot be trusted. I don’t know about having the problem, but I do know that they cannot trust me. At some point I know that I am not going to live up to your expectations. I will disappoint you and you will be angry at me because I’m not doing what you think I should do. Albert Ellis said, “People are going to do what they are going to do, not what you think they should do.” I believe that just another way of saying, you can’t trust anybody else. The only person I can trust is myself. I accept that you’re going to do what you’re going to do. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as I trust myself to handle whatever you do. - Group was fantastic this morning. There was one piece that reminded me of a quote: The only problem with sadness, anger, hopelessness, anxiety, anguish, misery, is that you want to get rid of them. You have to live with them. You cannot just escape. They are the very situation in which life has to integrate and grow. Rajneesh - Everyone thinks; it is our nature to do so. Birds fly, fish swim and people think. Understanding that we think is the key to understanding everything else in life. Very few people know that they think. They believe that they are victims. Knowing that we think is the key to changing everything in our lives. Unfortunately, much of our thinking, if left to its self, is distorted, incomplete, misinformed, full of assumptions or downright prejudiced. Yet, the quality of our life and relationships, the quality of what we produce, depends precisely on the quality of our thoughts. Shoddy thinking is costly, both in money and in quality of life. Excellence in thought, however, changes ones position from being the victim to one of power, from being a reactor to one of an actor. - As I understand it from reading what has been said, Words have no meanings, only people have meanings that they then attach to people, events and words. You will never find the meaning of a word in the dictionary. Dictionaries only have the definitions of words. Words are just sounds. If someone who spoke in Swahili put you down, would you even know it? And, if you did not understand what they said, would your feelings get hurt? It sounds like some people are empowering the words, rather than empowering themselves. Words have no feelings and can create no feelings. Only the meanings that you put to the words create the feelings. WE do not react to people, events or words, but to what they mean to us. AND, we are choosing the meanings. Epictetus, 55 AD, wrote, “Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” In Hamlet, Shakespeare said it this way, “There is nothing that is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” You choose to think. Very few people know that they think. They believe they are the victims of others words and/or behaviors. So, I conclude, No one can make you angry, nobody can make you happy and nobody can hurt your feelings. If someone can make you angry, then who has the power and who gets to be the poor little victim? Nobody can make you happy if you don’t want to be happy. You are the only one who can make yourself happy, and then, you can invite others into your happiness. And, nobody can hurt your feelings. If your feelings get hurt, it is because you did not check out to see if they intended to hurt your feelings. If the person intended to hurt your feelings, then who really has the problem? Mean, evil people may try to hurt your feelings by putting you down. Then they have the problem. Don’t make their problem your problem. It is you who chooses which meanings you put onto peoples words and/or behaviors. - Paula and Sharon 8 years in prison, monitor on, 3 rapes, first time to open up tender, touching him on arm, then thigh, then rubbing chest "I got it" and walked off. fear that she'd do it again. I have people off the street, we don't know their background several lawsuits re: need insurance! if someone came out and attacked and said $1M/$3M insurance be careful of Vietnam vets being re-triggered be prepared how to handle it if sued, what did you do? people with degrees, to say what they want them to say, hired guns think carefully what could go wrong. board that's not just your friends if put under 2GH can be tax write-off but no longer yours, belongs to corp. Marsha Taylor an atty, and hub, came clients wants records from FYA, 4 years ago I don't know where records are... sharon should know. atty may sue Sharon, and other board members great service, being a member of CAF used their attys anyone on board licensed social workers LMFTs are dif. than licensed social workers... dif parent even psychologists. straighten out books for 2gh better software for bookkeeping Quickbooks is excellent! PeachTree is not as good accounting does a procedural audit checks and balances - get tests back from Debra it's all us, Bill falsified records, lied, argumentative, uncooperative but I'm not a bad guy D Sue what I'd like back boundaries get people around me who are smart HR, Admin, laws keep changing, legal why FCC was successful Dorothy Winn, hired 2x, fired 2x, negative perfectionist re-traumatizing vets is popular sit around and talk about it so, 1. Need extensive educational, left-brain component must understand, so left-brain gives right-brain permission else, reliving it, and it's happening again. right thinks it's happening now 2. A Picture of Strength, re-image lady in Sat group, molested since 6 she had to give dad a blowjob on the way to school he masturbated her, felt Good to her, but naughty but step brothers got involved, and they were hostile, and hurt her 1. my body betrayed me 2. mixed revolution, pain, hurt, with love woulda been easy to retraumize her not just vets let's talk again I tried to: 3.5 days a week court-ordered expert witness, don't like it ------------ mcp -------------- Every behaviour has a purpose! ------------ mcp -------------- Every fight is from one or more: significance - from, 1, fear of abandonment abandonment control - 2+, I do it myself --- Disappointment is the major source of Anger you should, is disappoinment I should, is disappointment judgments is an expectation you should live up to my expectations --- 10:20 Good talk with Paula are we staying together? Yes, we'll keep trying --- LI-EIN Ray Mathis An important formula about how life works that we should teach young people, but don't We teach young people all manner of formulas in math and science and other subjects about how life works, but neglect to teach them one that governs almost every minute of their lives. ---------- mcp ------------ EVENT + THOUGHTS = FEELINGS In other words, thoughts cause feelings, not events. The result is that we have millions of people living their lives based on a big lie; that what other people say and do, and what happens really causes how they feel. And, millions feel worse than they need to, for longer than necessary because of it. More importantly, they miss many opportunities to feel better. And all this extra emotion leads to much unnecessary suffering, and gives purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating, and even self-destructive behavior of all kinds, which just adds to the suffering, and even shortens lives. Teaching young people this formula, and how to use it to their advantage would be a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure. And we could capitalize on their prior knowledge from algebra in middle school. Everyone is taught the formula a + b = c, where a is a constant and b is a variable. If a stays the same, and you change b, c changes. If you take the same event, and change your thoughts about it, your feelings change, perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse. We can then teach young people that they have all kinds of cognitive choices that they, like most people, are probably unaware most of the time that they even have. For example, 1) How we LOOK AT what happens, and ourselves 2) What MEANING we attach to what does 3) What we REMEMBER at any given moment 4) What we IMAGINE will happen 5) What we FOCUS on 6) What we COMPARE things and ourselves to 7) What we EXPECT of ourselves, others and life 8) How much IMPORTANCE we attach to what does happen Choice is power and control. Always has been. Always will be. Thoughts cause feelings, and we have all these choices as to how we want to think, so therefore, logically, it’s also our choice how we want to feel. Whatever way we do choose to look at things, and make ourselves feel is perfectly understandable given our life experiences, even if it makes our lives worse, but we do have choices. And we can learn to choose differently and better. And teach young people to. I was in my thirties before someone told me, “It’s your choice how you want to feel”. And I was a pych major in college. That’s sad. What Dr. Frankl taught us could be a valuable lesson to teach young people, especially with all the rightful concern about bullying. No one can get inside your head unless you let them. Takes practice to keep them out, but it’s doable, like anything else if you practice. And, it would help a lot of young people, and adults as well, to develop to evict people who have been living in their heads for much too long rent free. If kids talk about anything else in incorrect ways, adults are usually quick to correct them. But when they talk about how their feelings come about in scientifically bogus ways, no one says anything, largely because adults do the same. People can’t and don’t make us angry, put pressure on us, hurt our feelings, make us happy, or make feel good or bad about ourselves. Anger, pressure, hurt, happiness and low or high self-esteem come from inside us, not outside because of how we choose to look at things. Life is MIND-made. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, So are these things. There are hundreds of missed “teachable moments” in every day. This is something teachers, parents and counselors could start doing today with young people in their charge, and it wouldn’t cost a penny. There are even age appropriate ways to do it with the very young. Of course, first adults have to get it right in their own heads and lives. - Shame is what we feel when we believe we don’t live up to expectations. We all have plenty of expectations of us starting early in life. Plenty of expectations means plenty of opportunities to feel shame. Many children and teens are even regularly told, “You should be ashamed of yourself”. No one should ever say that to a child or teen. We have every right to not like what they say or do, and to tell them so in a reasonable and respectful way, and ask them to stop, and back it up with consequences if necessary. But kids will shame themselves enough without our help, some even to a morbid level that may one day cost them their lives. Teachers sometimes say, “The problem with these kids is they have no shame” Actually the opposite is true. Shame can be a primary and secondary disturbance. It’s often the primary feeling people seek relief from through alcohol and drug use, and even suicide. It’s why kids shut down in school, and eventually drop out. Shame often plays out as anxiety and/or anger. If you think you’re not living up to expectations now, or haven’t in the past, it’s easy to become anxious about doing so in the future, and dread instead of welcome challenges and opportunities. Low self-esteem is really just shame about the past, and anxiety about the future because of it. Anger gives people a false sense of power, righteousness, permission and protection. As long as someone stays angry, they don’t have to feel their shame. When kids are feeling ashamed, you’ll usually get either “turtles” or “rattlesnakes”. And too often, what teachers do with the “rattlesnakes” is the equivalent of poking a real rattler with a stick. Never turns out well for either party. The kids in my “Tool Time” groups are perfect examples. They have had a lifetime of being told, or getting the message in some other way, that they were not living up to expectations. They are “turtles” or “rattlesnakes”, and go back and forth at times. Viewing them this simple way helps temper and guide how I approach them. As a secondary disturbance, shame can make people want to keep what they think and feel, or even do a secret, for fear it would reflect badly on them should others find out. Lots of bad things happen to people because they keep secrets, and irrational beliefs about themselves, others and life go unchallenged, and simple opinions start to feel like facts from shear rehearsal and practice. Shame makes them less likely to seek or accept help that is available. The solution is to encourage people to have USA. Personally, I try to convince them that anything they think, feel, say or do, regardless of how unhealthy, self-defeating or unacceptable it might be to others, is perfectly understandable given their life history. For example, “What if we had taken 100 babies on the day you were born, and put them through every single life event you’ve been through? Don’t you think most would probably end up thinking, feeling, saying and doing much the same things you do? Some might fare better, others worse, but wouldn’t most be pretty much the same? And is it possible you might have ended up at the top of the class?” There’s other ways to encourage USA, but my space is short here. Schools often try to boost kids self-esteem. The problem is, you can’t technically do that. Self-esteem is a product of a host of cognitive choices that people make, that they alone can make. And the way they do doesn’t always reflect reality, and doesn’t always respond to affirmations. You can’t make kids feel better about themselves. You can’t even make them view what they think, feel, say or do as understandable. That’s their choice as well. But it’s an important place to start because of the important role shame already plays in so many lives - I teach my students that Rule #1 is that we all have the right to want whatever we want. I also teach them that there are three basic ways we can look at anything. 1) Not care 2) Want, prefer or desire something, or 3) Think you need it, treat it as a necessity, and demand it. And, we could just sort of not care, want something, or think we need it, or really not care, really want, or really think we need something and really demand it. According to Dr. Albert Ellis, humans have an innate tendency to start to: 1) Think they need things they simply want 2) Treat their simple preferences as necessities, and 3) Demand what they simply desire He called this having a “requiring philosophy” as opposed to a “desiring philosophy”. He used the term “perceived need” to differentiate this from a biological one. He also contended that this tendency is the underlying cause of most human suffering, and dysfunction. The longer and more I’ve taught this and worked with troubled and troublesome young people, the more I’ve seen he was right on. Rule #2 is: The greater the difference between expectations and reality, the more emotion we generate needlessly. If I don’t care if kids talk while I’m teaching, and they do, I won’t get upset. If I want them to be quiet, and they’re not, I’ll be frustrated, irritated and annoyed. However, if I think they need to, have to, should and must be quiet while I teach, and they’re not, I’ll get angry. And the more emotion we generate, the more likely we are to react instead of respond in the best possible way. Rule #3: When someone starts to think they need something they simply want (or starts to demand what they simply desire) it can make an otherwise smart person do stupid things. If we were suffocating, what would we be willing to do to get air? Anything! Now supposed we not only want someone’s love, but start to think we need it like air, water or food, what would we be willing to do to get it or keep it? Probably the same thing. Anything! And that’s what could make an otherwise smart person do stupid things. Don’t these two rules explain a relatively new phenomenon called “Road Rage”? Rule #4: Behavior intended to satisfy a perceived need will win out over behavior intended to satisfy a rational preference “I want to quit smoking” is a rational preference. But if we tell ourselves “I need a cigarette. I can’t go the whole day without one”, our odds of being able to quit are slim. So this all begs the question of what do we really need? Do we need the love, acceptance, approval and respect of others like air, water and food? Many folks think so. Some cite Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. But would any of us want our teen daughters to live their lives based on the belief that they need a young boy’s love like they need air, water and food? Would it be healthy for them to look at things that way? Every thought we have, or comment we make is basically our theory or hypothesis about the way life, we, or others are, or should be. Does the evidence of everyday life, and our past support or refute such theories? Does it perhaps suggest better, alternative ones? Is what we say a fact or simply an opinion? Do we really need something or someone like we need air, water and food? We’ll die if we don’t get those. Will we die if we don’t get things we think we need? Do people have so much credit card debt simply because they want things they can’t afford, or is it because they convince themselves they NEED such things? Do people suffer after breakups simply because they want to be with someone and can’t, or because they think they need to? I believe it’s important that we all learn to use words/phrases like need to, have to, can’t, should and should more judiciously. I think we need to encourage young people to do so as well. And challenge them when they misuse or overuse such words. --- put up molding in our bathroom 1-5 MAC >> bill 'em, plus $150 5-7 MFF Harvest for hamburger and a cabbage for Pkp (and some carob peanuts, of course) 7:30 home for bath with PKP Crackers and salmon she cleaned our bathroom for hours very nice pkp to bed (alone) chow + ESPN, yay --- 2.19 raining 06:27 Hi. My name is Sandra Martin and I live in Australia. I worked in senior management in a large Travel company in New Zealand and now have 3 businesses in Australia (2 with a colleague). Each of these is working closely with people to help them be the best version of themselves and achieve elegant outcomes in their lives - personally, socially & professionally. In this evolution (for self and others!), it is obvious that EQ is what needs to be studied, developed and honed, even more, every day, so you walk your talk, and really start to understand why we do what we do. I believe it is when we get a glimpse of how little we really know, that we can be open, humble and realise there is a myriad of different choices for us to select from. And how tolerant and forgiving we can be of others. By Sandra Martin - 06:31 PP = 3391 --- gotta go, so... Neuroeconomics: Eyes, Brain, Business http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/7168.html?wknews=02132013&goback=%2Egde_1778032_member_214816768 Five Ways to Renew an Old Love GGSC http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_renew_an_old_love How to Solve the Top Pitfalls of Working From Home http://mashable.com/2013/02/16/working-from-home/?WT.mc_id=en_my_stories&utm_campaign=My%2BStories&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter Hope: How to Find It http://www.huffingtonpost.com/craig-ing/hope-how-to-find-it_b_2573033.html --- -------------- mcp -------------- Hopelessness is usually based on Powerlessness - mcp --- , Invoice XRG - last 8 hours, $400 >> and MAC 2 new subs, same person so... actually 1 - oh, also, Melanie... it looks you might have hit the button twice, or something, 'cause there were two different subscriptions started for you. You only wanted one, correct? To manage your subscriptions, you can login to your PayPal account and cancel one of them. Let me know if any problems. Your order (well, 1 of them), has already been cut, packed and shipped... Enjoy! Thanks. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 06:50 go (early, to get to SR by 11:30 validation mtg) 08:22 Philo USPS.... keep going 09:02 Boonville USPS.... whoops, missed it, don't turn back... keep going. 09:35 Cloverdale USPS... boom! $374, super-nice guys... Jeremy, telling Euc jokes about 'branching out', and 'don't leave home', etc. (lol!) 11:22 San Rafael 11:33 on IMS validation mtg 12:33 done with meeting stay here in SR to work today. --- 12:44 Sliloh So what do you need from me to setup the new WP site? Do I need to login to GoDaddy and create you a new folder (\2ghws) to load WP and put all the files?? Thanks. - Matt --- LI-EIN Ray Mathis "Mistaken" Goals: A relatively unused concept that can be used to foster positive changes We face a conundrum in health education. People receive more helpful advice and information than ever before in human history. Yet we still have millions of people who start and continue to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating ways. ... more… We face a conundrum in health education. People receive more helpful advice and information than ever before in human history. Yet we still have millions of people who start and continue to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating ways. Behavior starts and continues because it serves a purpose. It’s always goal-orientated. We’d all like to live as long as possible, be in good health, be happy, have good relations with others, be successful, and have as much freedom and control over our destiny as possible. Ideally, all our energy and effort would go toward reaching such goals. But no one does that perfectly, or all the time. People often have what Rudolph Dreikurs called “mistaken” goals that get them off course. They get some short-term gratification, but make it less likely they’ll get what they really want in the long run. Dreikurs watched children misbehave in classrooms and said that they had one or more of four “mistaken” goals when they did. Attention, Power, Revenge, and Avoidance of Failure. Mistaken because they’d rather be successful and get along, but what they did to achieve these goals made that less likely. Linda Albert’s Cooperative Discipline is based on Dreikurs’ model. I added the mistaken goal of withdrawal-avoidance-relief, because so many things we talk about in health (i.e. smoking, drinking, drug us, sex) can help people temporarily withdraw from or avoid some unpleasantness in their lives, and get relief from the feelings that so often go with it. The thing that gives purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behavior is that people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion. That emotion becomes a driving force behind any behavior intended to satisfy their mistaken goals. The more emotion people generate, the more purpose their unhealthy, self-defeating behavior serves, and the more driven they will be to behave the way they do. That’s why teaching truly effective emotional management is so important, and can be such a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cures. Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. What we too often do in families, schools and society is simply try to modify behavior we don’t like in others with advice, information, rules and laws, and consequences. Too often, with limited success. Asking what someone’s “mistaken” goal might be can be a window into all that’s below the surface. For example, “mistaken” goals are often associated with certain feelings. Attention: Loneliness Power: Anger Revenge: Anger Avoidance of Failure: Shame, Anxiety Withdrawal-Avoidance-Relief: Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Guilt, Loneliness Thoughts cause feelings, not events. And attitude is always the father of behavior. Mistaken goals can also be a window into the most important thing of all - what someone thinks (the attitudes and beliefs they have) about themselves, others, life, and what’s happened to them, or might. Mistaken goals are like the titles or summary of a host of irrational beliefs someone has. The further into discipline we get, the more positive it should become. That’s not what usually happens in families, schools or society. Teaching people about “mistaken” goals and encouraging them to look for them in themselves and others can get things headed in a positive direction. Once identified, we can ask: 1) What do you REALLY want? 2) How’s it working for you to think, feel, or do what you do now? People often struggle to verbalize an answer to #1, often because they’ve had “mistaken” goals so long, they’ve lost sight of the “prize”. The answer to #2 is usually obvious. It just needs to be asked. Then we can offer to help people learn to think, feel, say and do things differently and better, so that they can feel the way they’ve always wanted to, and be more likely to get what they’ve always wanted. - Mary Hallgren MBA, CET commented on Motivation "Tony Robbins applied NLP to motivation. I applied it in a different way which evolvedd into Emotionology - the Science of Emotions. To ... "more… "Tony Robbins applied NLP to motivation. I applied it in a different way which evolvedd into Emotionology - the Science of Emotions. To me, People are motivated differently if the motivation comes from the Negative System (threat based, outside us) or the Positive System (inspiration, curiosity, interest, from within). How we motivate ourselves vs. how to motivate others is a big discussion. Beliefs also affect our motivation. I know I get whatever I want if I know what I want. I also believe that anything is possible and if someone else can do it so can I. Someone else might believe that they can't have what they want or that they don't deserve or it is impossible. This would affect their motivation. " - Mary Hallgren MBA, CET commented on How to see the world beyond Feelings ? "The question seems to be the old idea that feelings are negative. Feelings help us categorize our memories and is behind our beliefs ... "more… "The question seems to be the old idea that feelings are negative. Feelings help us categorize our memories and is behind our beliefs (generalizations of experiences) and values which shift with experience. In old thinking you weren't supposed to have feelings and in business feelings were not acceptable. But when you block feelings you don't want (fear), you also block feelings you would like to have (love). In new thinking feelings are being paid attention to and people are allowed to have them. This has changed our world. However, people also need the tools and techniques to deal with their feelings so they can really live happily. What I find interesting is that using these tools can neutralize or transform any negative feeling whereas these same tools don't eliminate positive feelings. In Emotionology we look at negative feelings as blocks to our positive and the positive feelings are who we really are. We class positive feelings as skills such as confidence, trust, and love etc. - Mary Hallgren MBA, CET commented on Is it important to you to live a purpose driven life? "So Bruce, on your Purpose = Motive, How does purpose for you relate to meaning? ... "more… "So Bruce, on your Purpose = Motive, How does purpose for you relate to meaning? I co-conspire with the Universe (God, or whatever you call that force) to create my unique life journey. Purpose to me seems to suggest a place to get to or some future reason. My purpose is leaning and enjoying which has no end. For me meaning is always evolving and being discovered. I use "ideas" instead of beliefs because they don't lock me into dogma and can be changed if I find they don't work. About giving - Sometimes it is divided into givers (self-less people) and takers (selfish people). The balance comes where you take care of yourself first and others second (centered within self considering others). Then giving out of abundance includes self. Where in being a giver do you see co-dependence and care taking? " - Ray Mathis Is LFT, or Low Frustration Tolerance, eroding the work ethic in young people, and perhaps adults too? We hear people say it all the time. “I CAN’T STAND…..” something that others say or do, or that happens. It’s important to examine such thinking because it creates a condition called LFT or Low Frustration Tolerance that just makes whatever we have to do or deal with in ... more… We hear people say it all the time. “I CAN’T STAND…..” something that others say or do, or that happens. It’s important to examine such thinking because it creates a condition called LFT or Low Frustration Tolerance that just makes whatever we have to do or deal with in life harder. My Rule #5 is: We have the right to like or dislike whatever we want to. The mistake people make according to Dr. Albert Ellis is that people start to think and tell themselves and others that they CAN’T STAND something. If we really couldn’t stand something physically, we’d die. If we really couldn’t stand something mentally, we’d have a complete mental breakdown and go into some sort of catatonic state. Neither happens when people say “I CAN’T STAND that”, or we’d have dead bodies, or “walking dead” all around us, and might even be one of them. The truth is we CAN stand something, we just DON’T LIKE it. And that’s our right as human beings. But when we tell ourselves we CAN’T STAND something, we’re exaggerating or even outright lying to lower portions of our brains that are blind, deaf and dumb to the outside world around us. Those lower portions take us at our word, and the result is that we needlessly INFLAME ourselves. That’s why Ellis called this type of thinking “CAN’T STAND IT-ITIS”. E-motion can be helpful energy to move. If we DON’T LIKE what happens, we get frustrated, irritated, or annoyed and that extra energy can motivate us to make our lives better. But get too much energy, what I like to call a DYSFUNCTIONAL amount of emotion, and it can cause us to become reactive, and make us less response-ABLE. Lots of mistakes get made when people react to life instead of respond to it. That’s more likely when we tell ourselves we CAN’T STAND something we simply don’t like. Ironically, as life gets more comfortable, convenient and pleasurable, we are MORE likely to hear it. People develop a tolerance for comfort, convenience and pleasure like they do alcohol and drugs. It takes ever more to satisfy them. They become LESS tolerant of discomfort, inconvenience and unpleasantness. That happens physically and mentally. The last 60 or so years has seen an explosion of devices that save us physical labor. It’s made people very intolerance of such labor. A sedentary lifestyle is becoming the norm. So has obesity, especially in children where it was once rare. More recently, we’ve seen an explosion of devices that save us mental labor. I’m very concerned about how that’s going to play out, given that we are making these devices available to younger children all the time. We need to start challenging ourselves and others when we or they say “I CAN’T STAND….” something. I ask three simple questions: Why can’t you stand it? Are you going to die or go crazy because that happens? You can’t stand it, or just don’t like it? Obviously, it helps to be tactful when doing so. When we say we CAN’T STAND something, it also implies it’s AWFUL. I addressed AWFULIZING in a previous post. There’s also a DEMANDINESS inherent in someone saying, “I CAN’T STAND….” something. The implied demand is something like “I HAVE TO LIKE what happens to me”. Where did people ever get that notion? And why do you have to like something, like homework for example, to do it? My favorite retort is “That’s why we call it WORK”. In Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, we do FUNCTIONAL disputes. For example, How it WORKING for you to think or look at things the way you do? Does it make you feel worse than is necessary or helpful? Does it make it easier or harder to do the things you might want to, or that might be necessary to have the kind of life you want? And if you keep thinking or looking at things that way, will it be easier or harder to feel the way you’d like to, and get what you want in the future? - “Life is MIND made” - Dr. Chris Eisenbarth - Ray Mathis Is it AWFUL, or just unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable? One of the four types of irrational thinking Albert Ellis identified many years ago is called “AWFULIZING”. It’s an important one to be aware of because the paradox is that the easier life gets, the more people tend to “AWFULIZE” about their plight. ... more… One of the four types of irrational thinking Albert Ellis identified many years ago is called “AWFULIZING”. It’s an important one to be aware of because the paradox is that the easier life gets, the more people tend to “AWFULIZE” about their plight. There are a lot of things in life that are unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable to some degree. Even the degree is subjective, and can vary greatly from one person to another for the same event. The mistake people make is to start to think, and tell themselves that something is AWFUL, as in the worse possible thing that could be happening at the moment. They essentially exaggerate or even outright lie to themselves and perhaps others. My grandfather used to always say, “You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill”. That’s the essence of AWFULIZING. Dr. Chris Eisenbarth says, “Life is MIND made”. And perception is not always reality, even though people often think theirs is. People develop a tolerance for comfort, convenience and pleasure like they do alcohol and drugs. It takes ever more to give them the same sense of satisfaction less did before. They not only want, but often start to DEMAND that their life be ever more comfortable, convenient and pleasurable than it is. Commercial forces even encourage such demanding because it creates a market for the many products they make to bring comfort, convenient and pleasure to our lives. The greater difference we create between our expectations and reality, the more emotion we generate needlessly. The more likely we are to AWFULIZE. More often than not, no amount of emotion changes what is. It just makes it harder to deal with. My students often say, “That’s just a figure of speech”. I tell them that words we choose to describe our experience matter. The top portion of our brain is connected to the outside world by way of our senses. It’s job is to assess any threats to us, and it does that using words. The lower portion of our brains that control emotion, and body functions is blind, deaf and dumb to the outside world, So when the top portion lets it know that something is “AWFUL”, it takes the top portion word for it and says, “I’ll handle it”. Awfulizing is an ingredient in the recipe for anxiety. The formula is CATASTROPHIZE + AWFULIZE = ANXIETY. First we imagine something bad happening, and then we tell ourselves it’d be AWFUL if that did happen. Jf we said instead, “It’s not that big a deal, It won’t be the end of the world. It’s happened before and I survived” we wouldn’t feel anxiety. Concern perhaps, but not anxiety. We should start challenging ourselves and students when we or they AWFULIZE. My grandfather went through WWI, the Great Depression, WWII, and the Korean War before I showed up. I used to always hear, “Shut up. You don’t know how bad things can get. You don’t know how good you have it. It could always be a lot worse.” Not the most tactful way to challenge my AWFULIZING, but effective. So when something does happen, is it AWFUL? Or just unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable? Is it awful like say having cancer for example. Would we trade places with someone who has cancer? We get their cancer, and they get all our unpleasantness, inconvenience and discomfort. If they’d trade in a heartbeat, and we never would, then why is what’s happening to us so AWFUL? The answer is “It’s NOT. It’s just unpleasant, inconvenient or uncomfortable”. It’s just the way life is sometimes. I was at Bryce Canyon and hiking a lot. My knees were hurting. I was AWFULIZING. I walked around a corner and bumped into a guy in a wheel chair, who obviously had been there forever, and probably always will be. I stopped AWFULIZING. We each have a choice as to how we want to LOOK AT what happens. And we alone have to live with the emotional consequences of the way we choose. --- 1:44 Hi Matt, I want to submit this case for closure however, after reviewing the file, I do not have a copy of your policy for releasing Protected Health Information (PHI) when patients requests copies for other providers or themselves. Will you please send me your policy and/or procedure to release PHI. Thanks, Laura Coronado, Equal Opportunity Specialist Office for Civil Rights, Region IX 90 7th Street, Suite 4-100 San Francisco, CA 94103 Office (415) 437-8324Fax (415) 437-8329 Laura.Coronado@hhs.gov www.dhhs.gov/ocr --- MAC conid MemTransRent.TransDate RentPaidDate RentMonth RentYear RentType Ref BegDate EndDate CostPerNight TotalPaid RentCodeLU.RentalType RentalCode Private Sub cmdReceipt_Click() Totals Done! --- 1:57 XRG Helen Lew, Minty Kamal Hi Helen, Attached are my invoice and timesheet for the 8 remaining hours on LBL project. Please let me know what else is needed. Thanks. - Matt --- 2:13 Elle Jay Hi. Any ETA on getting those client files shipped out to us? thx. --- 2:19 Erika, re: Ebook Conversion Hi Erika, Hope you're doing well! As we discussed at class, we're trying to get Doc's book onto Amazon and Smashwords. Would you take a look at the attached document and see how tuff it would be to format it correctly? Thanks much! - Matt --- 2:38 Christina Tate Hey Matt, How do u want to get the few pics I took this weekend? Also, how do u think I should get the music that u have for ND? Hugs! Happy V-Day! - Hi. a. you didn't take that many pics this last class (right?) can you just attach them to an email.... or if you know how to Zip them up into 1 file, you could hit 'Add Files' (below) and attach it here. b. Oh, I forgot to look for the music at home (and now I'm gone again). I'll find them and either bring 'em with me next class, or did you want them mailed to you?? see ya. Thanks for your involvement! >> find ND CDs! in office?!? --- 2:51 Gloria Hi Gloria, See below for potential resolution of the 3-year-old case. Below is what I was thinking of sending to Laura. Do you think this should suffice, or did we have a more specific, written 'policy' that we can send (I cannot find one)? Also, do you think I should tell her that we closed the center and have no more therapists working for us, or just answer her question, as stated? Along these lines, I don't know if I told you, but LJ dug the client files outta her garage (finally) and I sent her $100 to ship them out to us, and I'll keep them. I sent her an email today asking for an ETA. Please advise. Thanks much. - matt - Hi Laura, Before we release any PHI documents, the requester must first submit a signed request form (attached) entitled, Authorization for Disclosure of Protected Health Information Psychotherapy Notes Only - Matt --- Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU&NR BigThink. Emotional Intelligence refers to how well we handle ourselves and our relationships. Self-Awareness Knowing what we're feeling, and why we're feeling it. the basis of good intuition, and good decision-making Also a moral compass. Self-Management handling your distressing emotions in effective ways, so they don't cripple you, and get in the way of what you're doing, and yet attuning to them, when you need, so that you can learn what you must, as every emotion has a function. also marshalling positive emotions, getting ourselves involved and enthused about what we are doing, aligning our actions with our passions. Empathy Knowing what someone else is feeling. Putting that all together in skilled relationship. That's what I mean by Emotional Intelligence. There are many definitions out there. Emotion part of the brain We should be teaching kids Meta analysis anti-social beh, 10 pro-social, 10 academic achievement scores, up 11% helps you pay attention learning skills managing with heart leaders IQ has been going up for 100 years, as child but I don't know that we're becoming more emotionally intelligence intergroup wars and hatred famial abuse don't look that great SEL in every school, worldwide EQ is a range of abilities Self-Awareness women are better empathy and social skills men are better at self-confidence, esp. in group managing distressing emotions top leaders, no dif between men and women pick up strengths in areas they need EQ is universal, but it looks dif. in dif. places Japan rigid system Brazil is very outgoing, like Italian would look dif., but fundamentals are the same - What is EQ? EQ is the study of me. How I work What makes me function What drives me and motivates me, to be the best me I can be. It's hard being me. It takes dedication, commitment and fortitude to be me. it's tiring. but I wanna Live. I don't just wanna Be me, I want to explore, and develop, and allow Me, to exist, to appear, to show up, to be there. I like me when I'm real, and authentic, and cool. and giving, and loving, and real. and powerful, and angry (appropriately), and real... very, very real. Because I know who I am. I know that my feelings and emotions are Mine, mine, and no one elses. they are one of the true things in life that really Do belong to me, mine. inside of me. no one can reach me, inside of me, without my permission. (or slip-up). so I hang around with me. I could hang around with your Little. Big and Little can have gobs of fun together. it's like a playground, but every kid has their best friend/adult WITH them, by their side, holding their hand, or pushing 'em on... or something positive... Big and little 2GetHelp 2GetBig 2GetLittle I have the idea let's make it so. but if it's my vision, I must lead the charge, right? we'll see... the belly, is food to energize, consume the earth to fill, to complete as I channel direction towards all mankind. these big projects, I try not to rush into these things. I'll be ok. it'll be ok. It'll be ok. it's coming... talk about being scared of success... me thinks it's gonna be quite something... me thinks. --- 10:24 LBL yikes... more complicated than I thot not sure how to differentiate the tables. I think I copy/pasted the 2 big boys and made FY12 from the Current then were gonna remove the pre-2013 data from Current but, it's not a calendar year, it's fiscal, and it's Sept-Oct, I believe (Confirm!) then there are buttons, and queries and reports, and forms and macros, all FY11 -> FY12. - i don't feel that great. bobby was here for a bit... Lumanation had open mic night, and they played 3 songs at a nice club, by CostCo at Rowland in Novato. gotta stop by there, and check it out. sorry I missed the gig. we decide the punishment we are hating people, in our head and heart -- and they Don't EVEN KNOW IT! -------- mcp ----------- Resentment and hatred is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person gets sick from it. What do u do for u to feel better? --- The internship Movie --- Wait, what?!? Get Calm and... --- >> find someone to finish the brochure Here's what I have so far. Here's what Val, we're gonna start doing classes under 2GetHelp, the non-profit, as well.... 2GetHelp Workshops. I'm having the NewDirectionsWorkshop.com site completely copied to 2GetHelpWorkshop.com, but with the new name. We --- MAC Rental receipts no other TransDate other than today MemDate if isnull(me.m Receipt date is not today, it's earlier Board John asked to Add the Apt # on Virginia Neira macacctg@mcn.org 45 115 68 228 20 comps ---- 51 BPT 86 office, most! 77 door --- Gregory S. commented on Nepotism and cronyism in the workplace. "Hi Catherine ... "more… "Hi Catherine A few thoughts: I have an army friend who commanded a unit in war. He says there are two kinds of loyalty: loyalty to the mission and loyalty to the troops. In the first, mission is everything and you should trust those decision-makers no matter what. But if the mission or the leaders are corrupt or so dysfunctional they are morally lost, the troops must come first. In that case your loyalty should be to those around you. Family favors and promoting cronies is as old as the hills when it comes to organizational corruption. With governments we tell the press or boot them out. But private companies are, well, private. Accountability is to the board, the investors, or the marketplace. Bottom line, if they mess up they go broke or lose customers. What to do? If I was loyal to the company, or the boss, I would speak up. He or she might not want to hear it, but loyalty to the mission means staying true. But if I am not loyal to the mission (the company), and the corruption is so bad it bothers me, I state my position and leave. But no matter what, like my military friend, if those around me are being seriously harmed by the corruption (when are they not?), I speak out and act. I'm not sure that is the right EQ answer. But I believe it is the right moral answer. The key EQ question for me is this: Are moral and EQ answers the same? --- 5-7:15 MFF BOD Ann, lead Bob, Betsy, Pat, Alex, CW, CK, Marcie, Melissa abs: Paul, Arlene Pat, hard pitch, after intro Events they met with Doug Moody and Nancy Harris April 6, Jazz, 60x max $35/ticket brew and bites, with a jazz film on Thesolius Monk BPT eblast, see timeline Thurs., June 27, Brewmaster dinner voted to raise ticket prices $11, $12/at the door fetzer alloy? almost done choosing films almost 100% of directors/film-makers are coming promote sponsorship, not funding the festival Vodka is coming, tryin for the money $1k min consistent message membership letter confusion 1/4 sheet on next event Felonious Monk by Friday "Straight, No Chaser" Marcie and Melissa copy jennifer for mini-poster Alloy 5000 kickstarter is geared toward the arts new email protocol copied on everything (NAME OF COMMITTEE) ACTION (programming): QUERY: REPORT (committee): MISC: >> Put Marcie on GoogleDocs list when subject of email changes, subject line should change MacCallum House, Herman Wed, May 22 --- DB Melissa and I just printed a mail-merged custom letter to all the donors, from the everybody on donor tools. I also did address labels and Arlene will be sending them out. In addition to the customized letters we did last night, Arlene asked for labels for ALL the mailing addresses, which brings us back to combining all the lists we have. I made a list of all the lists that I have, that need to be merged... but I'll need some help. Could we maybe ask volunteers, or ask a high-schooler who wants to learn... it's not rocket science, but it will take some time. this has been on my plate for a year, and I just haven't gotten to it... and I need some help with this. Melissa, I'll support you and help with technical stuff. some word, excel, text files, csvs ensure consistent fields merge all into one remove dupes cleanout bounced 2 lists email list mailing list unlike many email marketing companies, eblasts will allow manual adds of contact info... which means we need to also include the eblast master list, add any new ones from our other lists, and I posted all on GoogleDocs: \Operations\Database\Lists Excel flexibility Goggle docs filemaker specific searches Paul store records in Donor Tools what do you want Donor Tools should be 1 list, with ability to sort members, sponsors eblasts donor tools Randy? I'll manage I'll run it... I just need some help can pay --- IQ + EQ = LOL !! Left=brain + Right-brain = better decisions, clarity, sanity Every Behaviour has a purpose. Every Behaviour is based on at least 1 T and least 1 F. B = T + F Anger is based on T's specifically, judgements BS = T x F (!) acknowledge and release the F, the T's are more free to change F BS = T (T to the power of F) Action: a isolated decision to act, now/how/wow. Behaviour: a set of actions, over time, that become habits over time T's Judgments Belief Systems Values Opinions Shoulds Many are combined T's and F's Guilt Revenge Shame Resentment Compassion Empathy F's (the big 3, FSA) Fear Sadness Anger disappointment Expectations are critical Managing Expectations is a key life skill EQ Life Skills: - Understanding the big picture - IQ + EQ = LOL !! We need both! - Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing... in fact, they are THE thing. - >> write to BigThink and tell them what we can dol get some wording from Berkeley letter they never posted and the Mike Duffy letter We're just a small, local workshop, but we've been doing these consistently for over 25 years, and have had some significant successes. - 'Saves', averted suicides - Complete transformations: Self-mutilating mother of 4, hospitalized for clinical depression... marries, graduates from Fresno State, with honors, supervising welfare social worker, finishing her Masters in counselling. Traumatized Vietnam Veterans with severe PTSD, 30 years of counseling and medication from the VA, yet still lying in terror in his closet with a loaded revolver... now sleeps thru the night, has a new love in his life, and has removed himself from nearly all medications. - Relationship rescues - Family connections - Friendships galore - Positive parenting - Life, employment, education, travel and love successes - Healing trauma, changing belief systems and helping feel more, and better, throughout their pitiful existance. - Life skills, communication skills, empathy skills, compassion skills, love skills. --- Brochure Marketing not the layout, the wording, the copy. I have file of thoughts/ideas/language/energy that you can use to get an idea of what's possible. --- since power has been out for over an hour, --- 7:30 - 8 pkp, Judge Brennan nice looking, but he's not much taller than me constantly in court grant for Mental Health Court dorms, phych, therapists, career rehabs rejected professional relationship, not even a friendship a couple of people have asked lately consciously thought, I need to work on this, tempting --- Bruce S. commented on Is it important to you to live a purpose driven life? " Hi Mary, Thank you for your observations, very evocative. Of course this is subjective to my own views. Purpose is the application of meaning, not something in the future but in the now. I am what I do. I like how you frame ideas v.s beliefs . . . . makes good sense, life as a working hypothesis of all the ideas we encounter. I am rephrasing for clarification. I am not an expert but it seems to me that co-dependence hinges on sympathy rather than empathy. Sympathy has strings and attachments, empathy does not. Sympathy will carry and empathy will empower. Empathy takes responsibility for the ideas and lessons that life offers. I am fond of this saying: If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s" --- The Most Successful Leaders Do 15 Things Automatically, Every Day http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2013/02/18/the-most-successful-leaders-do-15-things-automatically-every-day/ Leadership is learned behavior that becomes unconscious and automatic over time. For example, leaders can make several important decisions about an issue in the time it takes others to understand the question. Many people wonder how leaders know how to make the best decisions, often under immense pressure. The process of making these decisions comes from an accumulation of experiences and encounters with a multitude of difference circumstances, personality types and unforeseen failures. More so, the decision making process is an acute understanding of being familiar with the cause and effect of behavioral and circumstantial patterns; knowing the intelligence and interconnection points of the variables involved in these patterns allows a leader to confidently make decisions and project the probability of their desired outcomes. The most successful leaders are instinctual decision makers. Having done it so many times throughout their careers, they become immune to the pressure associated with decision making and extremely intuitive about the process of making the most strategic and best decisions. This is why most senior executives will tell you they depend strongly upon their “gut-feel” when making difficult decisions at a moment’s notice. Beyond decision making, successful leadership across all areas becomes learned and instinctual over a period of time. Successful leaders have learned the mastery of anticipating business patterns, finding opportunities in pressure situations, serving the people they lead and overcoming hardships. No wonder the best CEOs are paid so much money. In 2011, salaries for the 200 top-paid CEOs rose 5 percent to a median $14.5 million per year, according to a study by compensation-data company Equilar for The New York Times. If you are looking to advance your career into a leadership capacity and / or already assume leadership responsibilities – here are 15 things you must do automatically, every day, to be a successful leader in the workplace: Why Top Talent Leaves: Top 10 Reasons Boiled Down to 1 Erika Andersen Erika Andersen Contributor 15 Ways To Identify Bad Leaders Mike Myatt Mike Myatt Contributor The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful Executives Eric Jackson Eric Jackson Contributor Why You're Not A Leader Mike Myatt Mike Myatt Contributor 1. Make Others Feel Safe to Speak-Up Many times leaders intimidate their colleagues with their title and power when they walk into a room. Successful leaders deflect attention away from themselves and encourage others to voice their opinions. They are experts at making others feel safe to speak-up and confidently share their perspectives and points of view. They use their executive presence to create an approachable environment. 2. Make Decisions Successful leaders are expert decision makers. They either facilitate the dialogue to empower their colleagues to reach a strategic conclusion or they do it themselves. They focus on “making things happen” at all times – decision making activities that sustain progress. Successful leaders have mastered the art of politicking and thus don’t waste their time on issues that disrupt momentum. They know how to make 30 decisions in 30 minutes. 3. Communicate Expectations Successful leaders are great communicators, and this is especially true when it comes to “performance expectations.” In doing so, they remind their colleagues of the organization’s core values and mission statement – ensuring that their vision is properly translated and actionable objectives are properly executed. I had a boss that managed the team by reminding us of the expectations that she had of the group. She made it easy for the team to stay focused and on track. The protocol she implemented – by clearly communicating expectations – increased performance and helped to identify those on the team that could not keep up with the standards she expected from us. 4. Challenge People to Think The most successful leaders understand their colleagues’ mindsets, capabilities and areas for improvement. They use this knowledge/insight to challenge their teams to think and stretch them to reach for more. These types of leaders excel in keeping their people on their toes, never allowing them to get comfortable and enabling them with the tools to grow. If you are not thinking, you’re not learning new things. If you’re not learning, you’re not growing – and over time becoming irrelevant in your work. 5. Be Accountable to Others Successful leaders allow their colleagues to manage them. This doesn’t mean they are allowing others to control them – but rather becoming accountable to assure they are being proactive to their colleagues needs. Beyond just mentoring and sponsoring selected employees, being accountable to others is a sign that your leader is focused more on your success than just their own. 6. Lead by Example Leading by example sounds easy, but few leaders are consistent with this one. Successful leaders practice what they preach and are mindful of their actions. They know everyone is watching them and therefore are incredibly intuitive about detecting those who are observing their every move, waiting to detect a performance shortfall. 7. Measure & Reward Performance Great leaders always have a strong “pulse” on business performance and those people who are the performance champions. Not only do they review the numbers and measure performance ROI, they are active in acknowledging hard work and efforts (no matter the result). Successful leaders never take consistent performers for granted and are mindful of rewarding them. 8. Provide Continuous Feedback Employees want their leaders to know that they are paying attention to them and they appreciate any insights along the way. Successful leaders always provide feedback and they welcome reciprocal feedback by creating trustworthy relationships with their colleagues.. They understand the power of perspective and have learned the importance of feedback early on in their career as it has served them to enable workplace advancement. 9. Properly Allocate and Deploy Talent Why Top Talent Leaves: Top 10 Reasons Boiled Down to 1 Erika Andersen Erika Andersen Contributor 15 Ways To Identify Bad Leaders Mike Myatt Mike Myatt Contributor The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful Executives Eric Jackson Eric Jackson Contributor Why You're Not A Leader Mike Myatt Mike Myatt Contributor Successful leaders know their talent pool and how to use it. They are experts at activating the capabilities of their colleagues and knowing when to deploy their unique skill sets given the circumstances at hand. 10. Ask Questions, Seek Counsel Successful leaders ask questions and seek counsel all the time. From the outside, they appear to know-it-all – yet on the inside, they have a deep thirst for knowledge and constantly are on the look-out to learn new things because of their commitment to making themselves better through the wisdom of others. 11. Problem Solve; Avoid Procrastination Successful leaders tackle issues head-on and know how to discover the heart of the matter at hand. They don’t procrastinate and thus become incredibly proficient at problem solving; they learn from and don’t avoid uncomfortable circumstances (they welcome them). Getting ahead in life is about doing the things that most people don’t like doing. 12. Positive Energy & Attitude Successful leaders create a positive and inspiring workplace culture. They know how to set the tone and bring an attitude that motivates their colleagues to take action. As such, they are likeable, respected and strong willed. They don’t allow failures to disrupt momentum. 13. Be a Great Teacher Many employees in the workplace will tell you that their leaders have stopped being teachers. Successful leaders never stop teaching because they are so self-motivated to learn themselves. They use teaching to keep their colleagues well-informed and knowledgeable through statistics, trends, and other newsworthy items. Successful leaders take the time to mentor their colleagues and make the investment to sponsor those who have proven they are able and eager to advance. 14. Invest in Relationships Successful leaders don’t focus on protecting their domain – instead they expand it by investing in mutually beneficial relationships. Successful leaders associate themselves with “lifters and other leaders” – the types of people that can broaden their sphere of influence. Not only for their own advancement, but that of others. Leaders share the harvest of their success to help build momentum for those around them. 15. Genuinely Enjoy Responsibilities Successful leaders love being leaders – not for the sake of power but for the meaningful and purposeful impact they can create. When you have reached a senior level of leadership – it’s about your ability to serve others and this can’t be accomplished unless you genuinely enjoy what you do. In the end, successful leaders are able to sustain their success because these 15 things ultimately allow them to increase the value of their organization’s brand – while at the same time minimize the operating risk profile. They serve as the enablers of talent, culture and results. --- Ecuador's newly reelected President Rafael Correa is a PhD economist who was first elected in 2007 as the global economy was collapsing. Instead of embracing austerity, he did the opposite and doubled spending on jobs in healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Ecuador now enjoys the lowest poverty and unemployment in decades and Correa is the most popular leader in the Western Hemisphere. SHARE if you think we should learn a lesson from the Ecuadorian Miracle! http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/feb/15/rafael-correa-ecuador-elections --- 10 Things Thriving Leaders Need to Know http://clomedia.com/articles/view/10-things-thriving-leaders-need-to-know Knowing yourself, your people and how to influence are among the most vital leadership skills needed for 2013. Well-run, thriving organizations happen on purpose, not by accident. Therefore, leaders need to master 10 things for their organizations to thrive. Gaining these competencies requires real commitment by leaders and their organizations -- a kind of commitment that leads to a high-performance culture, greater customer loyalty and, ultimately, a more robust bottom line. Know yourself and your impact. Just as the saying goes, “First love yourself, then you can love others,” so it goes with leadership. When leaders understand their own strengths, challenges and their impact on the people around them, they can adjust and shift to the needs and people of the situation. Without self-awareness, few other competencies gain traction. Know your people. Each person is motivated intrinsically and extrinsically by a variety of things linked to personal values and beliefs. Most people are motivated by genuine appreciation. Any number of factors come into play — family, money, status, challenge, team members, responsibility, etc. The leadership challenge is to discover what works for whom. Leaders can only know the answer to this by taking the time to really know their people — style, what engages, interests and motivates them to deliver the best work. Trying to take one-size-fits-all approach is a non-starter. It takes less time, but it gets lousy results. Know your stuff. People expect their leader to have enough knowledge to guide them well. For leaders then, there are two important skills sets to have: technical and leadership. Leaders can be successful having fewer technical skills than their team when they lead well. Technical experts with no leadership skills will not be successful in a leadership role, regardless of how smart they are or how much they know about their discipline. The skill sets are opposite. Know your organization and how to influence it. Great leaders lead through influence far more than authority or a heavy hand. To do that well, one must understand the myriad of interconnected relationships and networks at play at any one time. Knowing how to communicate, get things done and make decisions within the culture at hand will make or break a leader in his or her role. Article Keywords: executive coaching leadership development Know your customers. Everyone has customers, regardless of the business — for-profit, nonprofit, education, health and government. Great leaders continuously scan, ask and educate their customers, learning what they know and value versus what the organization is delivering, and then close the gaps where they exist. Only the arrogant leader assumes he or she “knows better” what the customer needs or wants than the customer does. Know your boss and your peers. The networks and protocols within every culture drive how decisions are made and how well work gets done. To get work done well, leaders need to tap into the knowledge, skills and abilities of both their boss and their peers. Depending on direct reports and a few insider pals alone is a sure-fire way to lose influence. Know your vision, mission and values. And know what they mean. This is true on both the personal and organizational levels. Mission equals purpose and reason for being; vision equals a passionate dream for a future state; and values equals how people are expected to behave in carrying out the mission and striving for the vision. Good decision making relies on being very clear about, and focused on, these three key elements to organizational and personal success. Know your change process, use and communicate it. More than 70 percent of change efforts fail in the U.S. A key reason for this is not poor logistics or bad ideas, but poor planning and process. Many leaders push versus pull change through their organizations. This is a fatal mistake. When people are not on board, there is little buy-in, and lots of resistance, even for positive changes. Know your decision-making process. Most people can live with decisions when they know who the decision maker is and how and when the decision will be made. Leaders who fail to decide well confuse their people and disrupt their business. Know how to build and maintain great teams and facilitate great meetings. Few leaders are trained in facilitation skills for groups or teams. Every meeting needs to be planned and facilitated well, or a lot of time and energy are wasted. Teams need to be developed, led and monitored continuously. Great leaders understand and appreciate this and either develop or add these skill sets to ensure their team’s time is maximized. Article Keywords: executive coaching leadership development --- 9+ to bed --- 2.20 (IMS 6-mo anniversary... wow... time goes by soooo screamin' fast!) 05:20 up (before alarm. good night's sleep... yay) read yesterday that for every hour of interrupted(?) sleep, a person doddles away 8.4min the next day. that's me... distractasourus. --- LI-EIn 17/20 Joan S. commented on Is it important to you to live a purpose driven life? "Without even looking at the Webster definition but rather at observation in life, I believe codependency is a "need" for someone to find ... "more… "Without even looking at the Webster definition but rather at observation in life, I believe codependency is a "need" for someone to find fulfillment as opposed to a job per se or as in empathy to be able to relate to someone's problems. Codependency requires a committed involvement whereas empathy does not. That involvement comes at a personal cost of time and resources and often sacrifice of the givers needs. For this reason, it is not considered to be mentally healthy --- we had better teach our young EQ. they're stressed everything in their lives is gonna be soooo expensive. jobs are down. what are they gonna do? How are they gonna survive? The ole 'go to school, work hard, and get a good job, then everything will be fine' days are over. They're probably gonna have to scrap for themselves. They're probably NOT going to take that path. They're searching for meaning, but they have nothing to hold on to. Remember when the office of President of the United States was the greatest honor in the world? Remember when our sports heros were super-clean, and worked hard, and did the right things, and they made good money for it... which was cool... but now.... omg... their salaries are absolutely absurd... and it turns out, most of them, without emotional skills, party it all away, to be broke in a few years, esp. after playing. Remember when we were scared to death of our teacher and the rules, and even more afraid of the Principal. Today's kids say stuff like, "I can do what I want 'cause you can't touch me, ever." and "no." and "bye". We'd better teach them. We'd better show them what we've learned... IQ-wise, sure... but ALSO EQ... please. I see people struggling. I see kids struggling... and they're getting emotional advice ('what do I do about?', and 'I'm torn', and "my friend was so mean to me today", and "I just need to talk, grandpa".) They see us, being semi-happy, some not happy at all, and go, "your way ain't working for you, don't force it on me." Let's help them find their OWN way... a way that works... for them! (that's what full expression is about, oh, and love). Let's make it fun! They want to have fun. EQ is a FUN subject!!!()&&&& it can be, if we use our noggins, and be creative, and HAVE FUN DOING IT! ... and living. Let's entertain 'em with it. Let's SHOW them a better, deeper, more fun way to live. It's called EQ. It's about adding EQ to your IQ. it's about understanding YOURself, and what goes on inside of you/me/us. it's about having deep knowledge of us, especially our childhood, because that's how we became US. ... and if you haven't dealt with ANY of the pain from your childhood, even 1 event that rocked your world, and you let yourself FEEL it to bottom of your toes, to the depth of your heart, and your pain, then, there's a whole side of you that you don't know. waiting, begging to be opened up and released... and healed... and replaced. 1. Understand the Decision you're making 2. Decide, for yourself: Are you pro feelings, or against? Do you see the depth and power of feelings, to respect and listen to them... or to manage and use your highest sense to controlling them... for your ultimate benefit? 3. Decide again re: others: Are you gonna be a good guy, or a bad guy? Are you gonna be a lover or a hater? Will you help, or hurt? 4. Set up the environment. Set up some uninterrupted time and safe place, and it's nice to have 1+ other people with you, who are supportive and encouraging, but they're not required, you can do this alone (I and others do). 5. Let yourself feel. Go there. Answer the questions (you may need only Q #1 to begin...) - Who or what hurt you the most? - Who or what are you angry at? - Who or what are you most afraid of? and let 'er rip. LET your body feel what it wants to feel, what it needs to feel, what it's been dying to feel. ... D-R Our bodies are Dying to feel. please, let's let them! If we Don't let our bodies feel. the emotions get bad enough that our heart wants to Die. to save ourselves, we gotta get outta our own way. and let our bodies feel. PLEASE, this does NOT mean that we let our bodies Hurt people or Shoot people randomly, or go wreak havoc on anyone who makes us Angry or Hurts. it means adding Access to our feelings, so they can help us NOT do those random harmful things so we can heal and release the nasty, yucky stuff... and be a good guy. we ADD our Good Sense (IQ) to the Emotion (EQ) and we add Emotion (passion) to our dry, intellectual world. for Sanity, to bring about change in the world. to do good... 'cause it feels good... 'cause it matters. Let's get everyone together and show them EQ. Let's get everyone together, working together. for a common cause. TEACH EQ! SHOW EQ! Feel, release and love! Like those crowd jams (wrong name?) where everyone dances, together where Social networks are making a dif. for people, together. I can try, but WE can Do! understanding our feelings is also about pitching in. connecting. joining supporting cheering-for encouraging feeling a part of not feeling apart from consciously wisely smartly prob. inexpensively I want a place where people can Connect, Learn and Grow... TOGETHER. - Totally integrated online/offline/mobile 2GHTCs and 2GHWCs will have stations where people register online, at a station, or privately, thru their phone (see the PayPal payment app, for UI... huge letters, super clear, lots of white space)... totally integrated. - Scream Rooms - local and national and international HELP w/emergency Scream Room Locator on our phone! - when do people need help? where do people need help? - it's gonna be ugly sometimes. sorry. backed up, and full-body negative feelings are not pretty. ... but they still gotta happen. in safe, sane, healthy ways... but they DO gotta happen. Hopeless => Powerless Powerless = Low EQ Powerlessness leads to all kinda nasty stuff: - Depression - Rage - Revenge - Hopelessness - Violence - Abuse - Sexual Assault - War We can help people feel the most amazing Power ever... the Power to feel. the power to Know yourself. the power to understand, and accept, YOU/Me/us, to our depths. to Know that we have all the Personal Power we need to do most anything... and it's all inside us, all there, for the taking, whenever we want it or need it. WE have the power, in our hearts, in our minds, in our spirit, in our soul. We have the power to heal. We have the power to release. We even have the power to forgive (same as release, it turns out... because Acceptance does NOT mean Approval! I can 'accept' that something did, in fact, happen... and let go of the pain around it... while never 'approving' of what happened) Mission: Lead Accumulate Resource Research Hub Center Focal Point Garner Cooperate Collaborate Conglomerate I'm serious about making it fun! like they do at Google. they have play rooms, and fun stuff, and toys and games and sleep rooms, and kitchens, with free food and they Trust their employees and they Give to their employees and notepads everywhere... 'cause you never know where an Idea comes from! and they help employees stay connected thru their mobile devices. they're awesome because they can afford to be. and they can afford to be because they're awesome! I/we need to lead the LI-EIN folks... where? to spread the good word about EQ! --- 06:44 Hi Catherine. I love your posts... usually... but please stop attacking Dr. Vetter. I approved the last one about how he was like your father... I didn't like it, cause it was not just attacking his ideas, but also him as a person... (yet I also thought you had a point...). But please, that's enough. Go back to your usual wise, loving, UP self, and leave Dr. Vetter to his misery. You have a Ton to offer! ok? Thanks. - Matt EQRocks! --- you have done more to stop my growth than anyone on the planet. you have been my #1 detractor, distractor and benefactor --- 06:15 Paula, LJ, do you guys know of a written policy we had at 2GH re: PHI? Our form is attached, but did we have a written 'policy', per chance? (read below) I'd like to get back to her today. thanks. - Matt --- 07:03 FB-NDG Yes, I still feel the results of the class, at a fundamental level. I'm not sure exactly what to call what I feel, but I know what I Don't feel... that ache to be touched... the hole... the feeling that there's a piece missing from my soul, that I've felt for 52 years now. I just feel 'ok' (I know, Ok's not a feeling, but it sure feels like a feeling.) Do yourself a favor, stay connected. It's your Big, taking care of your Little (from big bros/big sis's). At a core level, we humans need to be/feel/stay connected to others (they don't even have to know, really). Last class, we did a new visualization... part 2 to the story of going thru our home, where we lived as a kid... meeting our parents... going thru our room... and then meeting ourself, as we are now... our Little meeting our Big. Cool. Powerful. Profound connection! Ok, so now what? Thanks to Teri and Patrick, we did part 2. The Big AND the Little go back to the house (screaming up in a bad-ass Shelby, it turns out, thanks to Brett)... and the Big calls the parents in the room, tells them to sit down and shut up, 'cause Little has something he/she needs to say to them. The Big champions the Little, the Little releases his pain, and they rock on, together, never alone again! I thot it was very cool on a number of levels (exc., next time, I'll have them confront Mom and Dad separately, 'cause they're different issues). Our Big's JOB is to help our Little feel safe, emote, and heal... and one of the Best things the Big can do for the Little is to STAY CONNECTED (in safe places and healthy ways)... somewhere, to somebody, some how. --- "I think everyday if I continue fit to perform my role and to deserve the trust and confidence from my peers and subordinates and therefor I try to improve everyday as an individual" me, Jorge Bravo --- called to wake up pkp --- 07:22 FB-NDG Nikki, what's up? Whatchafeelin' now? This is a safe place to talk about the struggle you're having... What's happening now? (btw, you did super awesome in class... and I was soo proud of you! I have a great pic in mind of you Sunday morning, with your ear-to-ear smile!! :)) I know that feeling can't last all day, every day, but you CAN re-access it, now that you've 'been there'. --- 07:30 Yay... thanks for understanding! The last 2 people I wrote to re: their negativism, BLASTED me hard, then left the group...screaming obsenities. so thanks. shows high EQ... where'd you learn EQ? - Matt On 02/20/13 7:10 AM, Catherine Puglisi wrote: -------------------- Thank-you Matt, Thank-you for taking out the time to let me know. We all have to reminded to have empathy and compassion towards our fellow beings. Have a great day! --- 07:52 via file manager and hosted domains on GoDaddy Sliloh Ok, I made you a folder \2ghws and actually, I copied the entire \ndw to \2ghws... so if that wasn't helpful, feel free to nuke what you don't need there. ... and I pointed 2GetHelpWorkshop.com to that folder. ok? - Matt 17 Hosted Sites (0 Selected) < prev102550 (1 of 1)next > Domain Name Folder Subdomains Status Actions Domain Name Folder Subdomains Status Actions No records found. 2gethelp.org / Manage Setup Primary 2gethelpworkshop.com /2ghws Pending 2givehelp.com /2GiveHelp Add Setup 2sellhelp.com /2SellHelp Add Setup cherylmontgomery-nolan.com /cmn Add Setup dependencetoindependence.com /d2i Add Setup directionsunlimited.com /du Add Setup eucalyptusproducts.com /euc Add Setup eucproducts.com /euc Add Setup mattperelstein.com /mcp Add Setup memorablepicsphotobooth.com /photobooth Add Setup mewfoundation.com /mew Add Setup mew-foundation.org /mew Add Setup movingbeyondbeliefs.com /mbb Add Setup newdirectionsworkshop.com /ndw Add Setup steve-nolan.com /sn Add Setup touchforhealth.org /tfh --- 07:55 gotta go >> LBL tonight! and home tomorrow!! --- 08:20 ferry BEAUTIFUL out, again. love the first part of the ride, when we're backing up, toward the sun, and the world, and and we're in the FRONT for a few... then we turn, and we're in the shade... then we troll along 'til San Quentin... then speed up, and it gets cold! --- Want EQ? Embrace ER, first! --- 11:27 doing measure is probably the most TEDIOUS job I've ever done! --- demand from Stephanie __ (not Price) for refund, with threat. ignoring for now, as she'll probably receive her package today or tomorrow. ... and, she can dispute it if she wants... I now have a tracking number! $30.95 let's see what happens. - I haven't received my product that I was charged for. I want a refund immediately. If you do not contact me regarding the refund I will seek help in doing so. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: matt@2gethelp.com To: stephvaldez03@hotmail.com Subject: RE: Payment received from stephvaldez03@hotmail.com Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:18:26 -0700 I'm sorry, but Friday is the earliest. I just started working 200 miles from home. Is there a rush for the product? Thanks. sorry again... gotta work. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Payment received from stephvaldez03@hotmail.com From: Stephanie Valdez Date: Mon, February 11, 2013 10:58 am To: Hello, well I hope that I can receive my order quicker or as of stated on website. :-( . Please let me know if there's any way possible to get sooner or maybe just a refund. Thanks --- Thank you for your interest in the Six Seconds Breaking News webinar Here is a link to highlights from today's webinar, including a link to the recording: http://www.6seconds.org/2013/02/20/breaking-news-on-emotional-intelligence/ --- Found a Chocolate lollie pop at See's on the corner of Sutter and Market. 80 cents... should last for hours(!) ... and yum... --- Amanda Voelgel's new email address: mandy_uopx@yahoo.com from Karen --- IMS: spent 3 hours working on a measure with Shruti and 2 with Jimmy (the pros of the organization!) and no luck, still. Soooo, I feel much mo betta! --- PP = 3012 -27.99 Walgreens for $30 FastTrack card >> signup! --- 6pm out! --- Gloria Marin B... shook hands (properly) with Augustino and left Subway! yum! pkp, having tacos with PR, and sewing, nice! --- Melissa Howden, MFF melissa.howden@yahoo.com 510-390-4246 work hours 510-406-8526 --- 8:19 and I'm free. great sandwhich Frasier, 1x and then Satisfaction, from S2.4 to S1.1 9:04 netflix paused... got stuff to do! --- FB-NDG I hear that you're trying hard, Nikki...way to go. You're brand new to all this, so keep learning as much as you can... anger's a tricky thing, but it Can be mastered. Lucky you to be involved in a family with extremely high EQ. Acceptance is cool, and remeber that acceptance does NOT mean you Approve, or like it... only that there are somethings we can do stuff about, and some we cannot. What's happening is what's happening, and we can accept it or not, it's our choice. What's underneath or behind your anger -- hurt, fear, sadness, guilt, shame -- if you weren't angry, what would your body feel? - to some extent, we can Detach ourselves from some of our feelings! My body feels ... My heart feels ... My mind thinks ... My body reacts ... My breathing ... My arms feel ... In my gut, ... there's ER, and there's detachment from ER. Yes, they're my responsibility and part of my responsibility is to NOT judge myself Self-Parenting <--- book title?(!) Self-Mastery Self-Knowledge Self-Awareness Self-Control Self- Esteem Self-Inclusion Self-Championing Self-Image Self-Imagined Self-Re-Imagined Self-Absorbed Self-ish Self-Protective Self-Protector Self-Ejector Self-Erector Self-Creater Self. - Emotional Processing Emotional Literacy Emotional Mastery Emotional Awareness Emotional Language Emotional Intelligence Emotional Healing Emotional Creation Emotional Re-imaging Emotional Re-imagination Emotional Re-guidance Emotional Resurrection Out of the depths of dispair, rises the phoenix. strong, beautiful, wings spread From closed, beaten down, powerless, helpless and hopeless, can immerge a new being, a catharsis, a new you... stronger, freer, more powerful, clear, calm, controlled (or not), spontaneous, passionate, and real, very, very real. there becomes a more loving you, a you that loves wisely, and powerfully, so the person (or animal, or plant, or thing) KNOWS, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are totally, completely Loved, adored and accepted for who and what they truly are. --- 9:47 FB-NDG Matt Perelstein Yo, Karen, hang in there! I know it's tuff, but you can do it. Remember where you came from... you had so little self-esteem... now it's official... you're a Counselor! You have succeeded. It's a rough schedule this year, so let us know how we can support you in riding thru this. You have helped soooo many people, and now more. So, we talked about your fears of meeting these guys one-on-one. They're addicts and alcoholics, probably many/most have been in jail/prison, some even for DV or SA. So how was it? You did it... your first ones... and you're gonna keep on doing it, and get better and better at it. You're gonna have these guys melting down to their feelings in no time! Just curious, what's the rule on touching... can you hug them, can you touch their arm, anything? What's the intention... awareness and behaviour mod? Are they working the 12 steps there? You rock, and we're behind you!! --- 2.21 00:00 to bed --- 05:38 LI-EIN 17/24 Aleksandras M. commented on What are Your Best Tips for Being a Great Leader? "Respect your colleagues, sincerely appreciate their contribution, share your knowledge and experience with people, help them to grow successful, inspire and encourage people for positive change. Listen to people and try to get in their shoes if you wanna understand them indeed. Motivate. Be considerate. Promote high ethics and integrity standards by your own actions. - "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life." - Dr. Charles Swindoll --- ' This I Believe!' with Vic Conant http://www.blogtalkradio.com/goalachievers/2013/02/19/this-i-believe-with-vic-conant Vic Conant is the Chairman of the Board of Nightingale-Conant Corp, the premier publisher of audio personal development programs in the world. Vic had the great fortune of growing up surrounded by the works of the modern legends of the motivation industry like Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale to name a few. You become what you think about. --- The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing. - Michael E. Gerber You can’t hire someone else to do your push-ups for you – Jim Rohn "We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities." - Ralph Waldo Emerson the future is brighter than ever. Not just humanity's future, but your own, personally. Having daily ritual or ceremony in our lives is very important to keep us connected to what really matters. First ask yourself, is this my problem? If it isn't, leave it alone. If it is my problem, can I tackle it now? Do so. If your problem could be settled by some expert in some field, go quickly to him and take his advice. - Dr. Austen Riggs --- ,Orders Denise Dorrance 1B, 3', x China S x --- , finish this Val Excellent! listened 3x in a row! here's another good one of theirs ... Lover's Eyes http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=F-InsnM9Gfw&NR=1 I like how they don't jump around, they just stand still and play their music, as best they possibly can! I can watch almost anything done really well. had another 'save' last weekend in class. ha. --- 06:31 LI-EIN "Repeat what works." - Thomas Leonard You need self-confidence and self-knowledge to know what you are good at - and to stop doing what you're bad at. - Joni Evans Resentment is the poison you drink thinking it will kill your enemy, - Nelson Mandela --- Of the babies born this year, 80% should live to be 100! - Shruti Gangadhar, IMS Speak like a lady, think like a child & act like a man! --- Write on, Anthea! Personal Responsibility (PR) is the KEY to taking control of our lives! In fact, we're finding that the first step to PR is ER, or Emotional Responsibility. If we can learn some EQ (Emotional Intelligence), we can take the leap to realizing that our Thoughts are our Thoughts, our Feelings are our Feelings, and certainly, our Behaviours, Words and Actions are most definitely ours... and that changes everything. No more blame, no more victim, just people honestly, responsibly, and genuinely taking care of themselves. So, the theory is that EQ leads to ER, ER leads to PR, and PR leads to SR (social responsibility)... and (someday), SR will lead to Social Reform... changing the world from the inside out. Thanks for spreading the good word about EQ. EQRocks! --- God gives us problems because problems are the resistance we have to push against to sculpt our character, to sculpt our souls - Dr. Norman Vincent Peale / Tony Robbins --- "How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most." - Stephen Covey --- I gotta stop watching Satisfaction... it's addicting. --- documenting the Daniel Goleman video (5:32) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU&NR scoop.it 4x >> Finish EQ-101.2 this weekend? , LBL --- experience helps us ask the right questions, check the right things, watch out for the right things. --- Computer Repair Store in SF Central Computer 837 Howard 415-495-5888 --- 12:07 WF, MC due $127 --- I run 4 businesses and this one, computer consulting has 4 active projects IMS, LBL, MAC, MFF --- DAE2 is on hold for us, and I haven't received my Validation assignments yet, so right now, I have nothing to do. wish I could browse, openly I could write! --- Hi China, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! I'm sorry for the hassle you had yesterday placing your order... I started to reply, but then got distracted... sorry. Glad you got it worked out. Your order should go out on Monday, as I'm out of town working this week. You wanted seeds and pods, too, right? Any other special requests? Thanks again for the order. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- PP = 3114 --- Ship High In Transit --- I walked to work a dif. way this morning and found some interesting things. Also took some cool pics and a video. stopped by Verizon store and told them about my phone turning off when I click the power button... and they said a) it's under warranty, and b) they'll get me a new one(!), and c) they'll overnight it, so it'll be at my house tomorrow! nice! I've been having more and more trouble with it not charging (not making a good connection), so this'll be wonderful. I'll have to re-install all my apps again, but some I don't want, anyhow. --- 5:30 ok, shut 'er down! "I've had more fun than I can stand!" --- Ray Mathis Some ways to correct irrational thinking in yourself and others I define irrational simply as thinking something that makes you feel worse instead of better, and causes you to say or do something that makes your life worse instead of better. One way is to apply the Scientific Method to our thoughts. Every thought we have, and comment we make is really our personal theory or hypothesis about the way we, others, or life is, or should be. Does the evidence of everyday life or our past support our everyday theories and hypotheses ? Or does it refute them, and perhaps suggest better, alternative ones? The bigger the difference between our theories and hypotheses, and reality, the more emotion we’ll generate needlessly. Kids for example, keep ranting “People can’t tell me what to do” even though people do it all the time. A second way is to simply ask if what we or others are thinking or saying is a fact, or just an opinion. --------- mcp ---------- The more we think in terms of opinions, the more likely we are to disturb ourselves needlessly, and do something stupid because of it. The more we think in terms of facts, the less prone we are. For example, “They should mind their own business” is an opinion. “I don’t like when people do that” is a fact. --------- mcp ---------- My favorite type of irrational beliefs are when people say things like “HOW DARE THEY do something like that?” or “HOW COULD THEY do that?” The answer to all such questions is always “EASILY!” When you think it through, how much energy does it really take for others to say or do things we don’t like? --------- mcp ---------- When we think others HAVE TO, SHOULD, to NEED TO do something, the question is, “Why do they HAVE TO?” The answer is, “They don’t have to. I just want them to” When we think others CAN’T or SHOULDN’T do something, the question is, “Why CAN’T they?” The answer is, “They can. I just don’t want them to”. We can also tone down our irrational demands by practicing using I Messages. For example, instead of thinking or saying “They HAVE TO (should, need to) do that”, we could practice saying out loud “I want them to do that” or “I’d like them to do that” That’s called putting your behavior (in this case our verbal behavior) where we want our attitude to be. When we say something is AWFUL, the question is, “Why is it so awful? Is it awful, or just unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable?” Lots of things in life are unpleasant, inconvenient and uncomfortable. Putting down ourselves or others, and calling them or ourselves some unflattering names is also irrational. For example, calling ourselves or someone else “stupid”. No good comes of it most of the time. The questions are, “What are they/you stupid JUST BECAUSE of that?”, “Are they/you stupid, or did they/you just do a stupid thing?”, “Are they/you stupid, or did they/you just do something you didn’t like?” The answers are, “They’re/I’m not stupid, they/I just did a stupid thing/ something I didn’t like”. There are something called “functional disputes”. They are just some simple questions that challenge the functionality of what you think. For example, 1) What do you really want? How do you want to feel? 2) How’s it working for you to think or look at things the way you do now? 3) Does it allow you to feel the way you want, and get what you want, or does it make it harder? 4) If you keep thinking or looking at things the way you do now, will it be easier or harder to feel the way you want, and get what you want in the future? The trick is to practice posing such questions so that they become so automative, that they act like spell check or grammar check on a computer. JFK said, “The problems of man are man-made. They can be solved by man.” But Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it” D-R These are man-made problems, that can be solved by man. - (3.6.13) Ray, try using "what is the purpose of", rather than asking Why. Why often sets people up to be defensive, but 'what is the purpose' gives them respect that there was a good reason for their behaviour (mis-guided, perhaps, but awareness is step 1!) Also, let's talk about Shoulds for a minute. Some say they can be eliminated completely, because if you Should do it, means you ain't doing it. If you're doing it, you're doing it, not Shoulding about doing it. However, to me, stuff like 'we should change our oil every 3-5k miles' is very true, and very good advice, and yes, we should do that. So, to me, there are good shoulds, that we Agree with, and painful Shoulds that run our lives without our knowledge or permission. --- 7:12 CJ it sounds like it might be true... someone somewhere had to make up the 'S' word. I'm buyin' it. I'm still at IMS, 6 months yesterday... time has gone Incredibly quickly for me. The Redwood City office moved in to every empty chair, table, conf. room, starting last week, so it's been busier and louder. We're all supposed to move to 425 Market in April (about 2 blocks away). That place we got cookies, downstairs on Market, is gone... right after you left... boom. Winding down?! I thot it was a long-term gig for you. They haven't hired anyone to replace you, so it's possible the position is available, and you would be Welcomed back! Those first few months of training are tuff on everyone. They should let you telecommute more... maybe half-time at least... you hardly said a word to anyone, most days, exc. me. I proposed an every-other-week schedule, but was denied, not 'cause of not being there, but bec. I'm still pretty green. (I'm just now starting to 'get it' about measure building. I still don't 'like it'... it's the most tedious work I've ever done... but I at least get it better now). Cool that guy called you. What's his name... some teeny chance I'd know it/him. c-ya. off for the long drive home... (but yay). - Matt --- 7:14 Catherine Puglisi • We each have the capacity in ourselves to be a goodwill ambassador for living the best life that we can live. Write your own acceptance speech for the lifetime achievements that you have performed throughout your life. Now go out and live your speech. Write your own script for what it will take to be a better person. Actions do speak louder than words. Be your own meaning maker for your words. Pay each word forward. Be the person that you are meant to be. This will a purpose driven life. --- 7:15 go again... Costco hamburger chicken HopMonk in front of CostCo drivin' nappin' got a sherrif wake-up call --- 2.22 drivin' nappin' Hopeland 76 $4.19/gal.(!)... got 10 bucks worth Willits AM/PM, $3.97, got 50 bucks worth 05:20ish stop at Harvest salad stuff and CPCs 06:05 home 06:19 boom. --- The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it. - Roseanne Barr --- 06:25 PP = 2994 -107 CostCo -27 Hopmonk, beer sausage and mustard mashers -50 domain name renewals +4 orders today --- 06:47 added mschorg@mcn.org to the "BOD" in Gmail Contacts which is where film-fest-board@googlegroups.com sends to added matt@2gethelp.com to "Friends", "Social Media People" and "Volunteers" --- 07-9ish wake up paula, coffee unload car, pack fridge eat (of course) some espn order labels PP = 3014 --- 09:10 Sounds good... thanks much, E! Glad you're doing well. Care to share about your new job opp?? c-ya. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EBook Conversion From: Erika Date: Thu, February 21, 2013 8:20 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt! Things are going great! Considering an interesting job opportunity that's given me a lot to think about these last couple days. How are you? The text itself is normally formatted so that won't be any trouble to convert to Amazon or Smashwords. I will need to look into the images/tables/diagrams. Since my fiction doesn't have any I didn't pay any attention to those sections of the formatting guide. I will have time to review the guide this weekend and I will get back to you. Talk to you soon, ~Erika~ http://www.erikafriedman.com “Be like the bird that, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she has wings.” -Victor Hugo "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy --- Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret http://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_don_t_regret_regret.html?utm_source=direct-on.ted.com&awesm=on.ted.com_gQtl&utm_campaign=&utm_content=ted-androidapp&utm_medium=on.ted.com-android-share 25% of Americans between 16 and 50 have a tatoo. 17% regret 'em lack of regret, sociopath Regret emotion when we think our present situation would be better or happier if we had done something different in the past - decision - imagination - how present would be dif. behavioural economics (buyers remorse) 6 biggest regrets - Education - more, or dif., or better - Career - Romance - Parenting - Self - Leisure - how we failed to spend our leisure time - Finance - Health - Friends - Spirituality - Community want it to go away bewilderment, what was I thinking no empathy desire to punish ourselves I coulda kicked myself obsess, perseveration put these on infinite loop Regret is good! --- New FasTrak® Account Number: 116698798. 877-229-8655 www.BayAreaFastTrak.org Please keep this number in a safe place, together with your 4-digit PIN. Your Account has been opened with the following information: APPLICANT'S PERSONAL INFORMATION Name: MATT PERELSTEIN Address: 32501 MCDONNELL LANE FORT BRAGG CA 95437 Toll Tag Number: 01456700101 Username: mperelstein PIN: **** (4x) Day Phone: (916)599-8597 ext. Evening Phone: (707)962-9006 ext E-mail address: matt@2gethelp.com Statement Type: EMAIL Frequency: MONTHLY How did you hear about FasTrak®? RADIO AD Tolls *: $25.00 FasTrak® Bonus : $5.00 Partner Bonus : $.00 Total Pre-Paid Toll Balance : $30.00 Toll Tag Deposit : - Toll tag deposit required if your replenishment method is cash or check. *Includes deductions for any tolls charged prior to registration For a description of free toll bonuses, click here. VEHICLE INFORMATION License Plate Number State Year Make Model Effective Date 6LEB592 CA 2013 TOYOTA RAV4 02/22/2013 REPLENISHMENT METHOD Replenishment Method: MASTERCARD Credit Card Number: ************4699 Expiration Date: 01/2014 --- Daniel Goleman article in HBR - most requested article http://www.morethansound.net/blog/2011/12/six-styles-of-leadership/ -------------------- mcp -------------- Daniel Goleman's 4 Components of EQ: 1. Self-Awareness 2. Self-Management 3. Empathy 4. Relationship skills 1. Self-Awareness Good decisions feels right plus logic ungraspables not in words, but in a gut sense ethical guide gut first, then we put it into words 2. Self-Management how we handle our emotions distressful emotions focussed, motivated, working toward adaptable, flexible internal self-management 3. Empathy Rapport, connection 4. Relationship skills effective communication inspire, articulate a shared vision leader, negotiate, collaborate, good team player 6 styles of leaders get and stay in their optimal internal state to work their best most powerful person has the most impact on others drive the state to help people be at their best, avoid what puts them in the worst 1. Visionary articulates a goal that motivates us all, forward-looking 2. Coach cares about people, helps people get better, accomplish their own career goals helps them 3. Feeling good together is not a waste of time stronger connection 4. Consensus leader I may not know the best way, I need to ask 5. Pace setter leads by example 6. Command and Control cooersive style, don't mind blowing up on people or humilating good in a genuine emergency Anthony Gell- Daniel, you once wrote a famous article on leadership after studying companies like PepsiCo. Can you tell us about that article? Daniel Goleman- I wrote an article for the Harvard Business Review in ‘98 called What Makes a Leader, and it really was an extension of a book I wrote about working with emotional intelligence. The Review asked me to talk about the competencies or abilities that you see in star performing leaders. That article, by the way, has become the number one most requested reprint, I think, in the history of review. It really struck a chord, and I think it did because it articulated something people had sensed, but not been able to put into words. Basically what I argued is that there are 4 kinds of strengths you see in the best leaders. 1st is self awareness. People have the capacity to reflect on them selves, to monitor themselves. This matters in many ways. One is for making good decisions, it turns out, that you need to capture felt sense of “feels right, doesn’t feel right.” And mix it in with hard data on a business decision. Or in a life decision. Should I keep this job or should I take a risk and take another job? That’s not a decision for which you can make a list of pros and cons, you need to have a gut sense. Because there are un-graspables. Things that you can’t put into words, that part of your brain knows but only can tell you in a gut sense. Literally a gut sense. That’s the way we’re wired. So people who make good and better decisions, business leaders, anyone, have this capacity for self awareness. There’s another way that it’s important, and that’s as an ethical guide. The answer to the question, “Is what I am about to do in keeping with my ethical guides?” is not one that comes in words, it comes again in a gut sense, and then we put it into words. So this is critical for ethical navigation, both individually and for a company. 2nd component is self management. How we handle our emotions. Can we keep our distressing emotions from crippling or interfering with our capacity to think well, make good decisions? Can we stay focused and motivated? Positively working toward goals even when things are tough? Are we adaptable, flexible in making responses? All comes from internal self management. 3rd part of emotional intelligence abilities for leaders is empathy. Do we sense how other people are thinking about a situation? Do we know how they feel? Can we establish report? Do we care? Are we concerned? Do we want to help others? All of those are critical leadership abilities. Finally there are the relationship skills, the obvious, more visible leadership competencies like effective communication. Can we inspire people? Can we motivate people? Can we articulate a shared mission that speaks to people’s hearts? Are we authentic leaders, able to negotiate, collaborate? Can we model collaboration so people can see and hear that the leader is showing how to be a good team player. All of those are highly effective leadership abilities. The Best leaders have strengths in 6 or more of those. Any leader can develop them if they have the proper help. AG- you talk about leadership style and the impact on the workplace, and you mention that there are 6 styles of leadership. Can you just give us an outline of the styles and how each have an impact on workforce? DG- If you think about it at primal level, the real task of the leader in terms of the brain is to help people get, and stay, in the optimal internal state for working at their best. And many leaders shoot themselves in foot by ignoring the fact that in any human group the most powerful person in the group is the one people pay most attention to, put most importance on. What that most powerful person says and does has the most impact on the internal state, the emotional state of everyone else. So if you’re looking for best results from people that work for you, you’re responsibility is to drive the state that is going to help people be at their best. And to avoid leading in a style that puts people in their worst state for performance. What are the styles that help? There are 4 styles at least that have the most positive impact on people. 1st is “the visionary.” Someone who articulates a goal that motivates us all and that creates a very positive state. A very hopeful, forward looking, goal oriented way of working. 2nd is someone who is a “coach.” Someone who really cares about the people he or she is leading, and helps people get better or get closer to their own career goals. For example, giving them an assignment that will help them grow, learn how to do something that they are going to need along the way. People appreciate that enormously. And that too creates a positive climate. 3rd is being affiliative. Understanding that having a good time together is not a waste of time. That it creates a kind of social capital that means we can have stronger connections, and will be able to work better together. 4th is the consensus leader. One who feels that “I may not know the best way to move forward, I may need to ask other people.” All that has a positive impact. Finally, two that don’t work so well. One is a pace setter. One who just leads by example and is very critical of how other people aren’t as good as they are. And then command and control, a coercive style leader. Someone who doesn’t mind blowing up at people, for example, who thinks nothing of it. Or humiliating them. Those two ways of impacting are the worst possible, because all people are going to focus on after that interaction is how awful it was, how much they hate the boss. AG- Isn’t there a time and place for command and control style leadership? DG- Being very strong and just ordering people to do things, under normal circumstances has a very negative impact, but in a genuine emergency it’s quite appropriate. --- LI-EIN Tshidi B. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello, my name is Tshidi, Am from Botswana. Am a Counselor and EQ facilitator. I coordinate a Telephone Counselling Call centre which offers Psychosocial counselling to in and out of School Youth, Teachers and Parents of the students who are in the Botswana Education system. My interest in this group is to gain more insight;professional development and networking with the aim to improve on my work as well as share what i know so far. Thank You for accepting me in the group --- Direct TV 238 117.77 not using 4699 and my temp card doesn't work (no expiration date and no CSC on the back) --- lunch watch some rugby (great finals as Kenya JUST beats NZ in OT, and then JUST loses to England in OT) --- 1:34 IMS: here to congratulate Jimmy on HEDIS_2013_DAE2 matching --- 2:11 Hi. Got these... thanks... I made 'em into PDFs for posting later. I have 1-54, and now 57-59, but I'm missing #55 and #56... could you forward those to me, please? I talked to my contact re: converting TCOYL to the proper format for ebooks, and she said she'd look into it this weekend. She's done the conversion process before, but your book has illustrations and a Table of Contents, etc. that need to be handled differently... so we'll see. I'll let you know. btw, what do you think about the concept that the First big step/lesson in EQ is about ER or Emotional Responsibility? If people can accept, and embrace, that 'No one can MAKE me angry... I make me angry'... that my thoughts and my feelings, and certainly my behaviours are MINE... created by me, for me, and changeable by me, for me... that changes everything, from then on... right? It's a life-changer because from then on, there's no more blaming, and no more victim... ever. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: From: "Doc Downing" Date: Mon, February 18, 2013 11:18 am To: Matt, It was good talking to you. Here are the last three blogs that I have sent out. Do you have the ones before 57? Doc --- 2:25 ordered 2 packs of leaves $8 from SandMountainHerbs --- 6 Sec eWeek: Engage the Power of Emotions Insight. Connection. Thriving. http://www.6seconds.org/e/ 3.18-3.24 --- 2:35 Virginia Neira, MAC macacctg@mcn.org Hi Virginia, Attached is an invoice for the database work I've done for MAC this year, including a line-item to replace that check that was returned due to the signature line. Please process this payment. I hope your new database ability to track and report on Rentals is working the way you want it to. Let me know an approximate ETA for this check. Thanks much. - Matt Perelstein, database dude $650 --- orders USPS, $117 Safeway -200 1 for PR, one for my 'files' PR @ her work pizza and 1 home pizza movies, well movie... then I crashed --- 2.23 04:?? espn a little poop a lot (3x, good ones, yay!) 05:59 Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." - Albert Einstein “Of all the weapons of destruction that man could invent, the most terrible-and the most powerful-was the word. Daggers and spears left traces of blood; arrows could be seen at a distance. Poisons were detected in the end and avoided. But the word managed to destroy without leaving clues.” - Paulo Coelho The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions: a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge "The best use of your life is to invest it in something that will outlast it. And that's what it means to live a purpose-driven life." - Pastor Rick Warren --- ordered by phone Sadie Rowe 180 Maple St Clyde, NC 28721 PP = 2741 -203 1 for PR, one for my 'files' -117 USPS -8 SandMountainHerbs (seeds, 2x) -25 'social media' (Homeclips) --- Daniel Goleman's 4 Components of EQ: 1. Self-Awareness 2. Self-Management 3. Empathy 4. Relationship skills --- 06:53 Yo Tom, Hey, sorry I missed your Open Mic performance the other night at HopMonk... I woulda gone if I'd known. So, Bobby stopped by after and we chatted. He told me you guys did well (even tho' he felt like crappola). I hadn't heard of HopMonk, and I was going to CostCo on my way home Thursday (as I often do), and stopped by for a cerveza to check it out... cool place! I started a conversation with the (older) bartender, Barry, and asked if he'd been there the night before, at Open Mic, and he said yes. I told him I had buddies playing reggae that night, Lumanation, and he said Yeah, they were so good that when those guys started playing, I stopped what I was doing to go see who they were! I told him you were trying to get a gig there, and he said to definitely talk to the hiring manager... the same guy who does all 3 of their bars... and that, in the Spring, they'll be having live music both inside AND outside. They're all booked thru May, but he said to please call (415.892.6200, info@hopmonk.com). Oh, and on my way out, I asked him if he wanted one of your CDs, and he said "Absolutely" so I gave him one that I carry in my trunk for just such an occasion. I don't have Marc's email, so please forward this. Good luck! - Matt --- Any feedback... I gotta reply to her. Sound I just send the form, and 'tell her' that our policy was to have a signed form before sending... or should we write out a quick Policy Statement, put it on letterhead, and send it to her with the form? Please advise... you're much better at paperwork and procedures than I. - Matt --- 07:05 BEAUTIFUL birds, Lynda... very nice! ... and I got ambitious yesterday, so I did orders, and yours already shipped. Let me know if they prefer specific part(s) of the Eucs -- branches, leaves or chew sticks -- so we can customize your order in the future. Enjoy! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: [FWD: You have a new subscriber to Eucs- 1/2 Pound Subscription Service] From: "lyndabradford" Date: Sat, February 23, 2013 6:06 am To: Hi Matt, I breed birds and these will be for them. I have pionus, conures,caiques,quakers, keets. Would love to provide them with a custom for chewing and nest building. Thanks for the customization. Blessings, Lynda Bradford https://www.facebook.com/midwestbirds --- Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Mahatma Gandhi If you don't believe that every single word you use creates mental images, arouses emotions and causes people to take action or not to take action, you need to get out of the people business. --- USPS.com ordered Priority Mail Medium Flat Rate Box-O-FRB1 1-25x Priority Mail Shoe Box 3-25x <-- 1 for USPS Priority/Express Mail Tube Medium 1-20x Priority Mail Box O-BOX4 5-25x <-- 2 for USPS --- GREAT wedding speach by dad, giving his dauther to new hub http://click1.godvinemail.com/gwclynctlwldcmthdkqpjdsjcndmgqqmwrcjyyhgwwmlkll_erdbspypzqdp.html --- Dana R. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Greetings, I teach advanced investigative interviewing techniques. I have long advocated emotional intelligence is essential to interviewing. Without engaging emotions fearlessly we lose so much of what is key to understanding each other. Interviewing is not a mechanical process composed of tidbit psychological insights. Interviewing is a holistic, intuitive engagement of a feeling human being. If you have time you may want to read my article on Detecting Validity and Deception in Interviews and Statements at: http://www.metacentre.net/the-optics-principle/ - Dana R. commented on Would anyone like to share their thoughts/experiences on this topic: Is it possible to cultivate emotional independence in children? Any... Two thoughts come to mind about cultivating emotional independence in children Sudeshna, modelling and freedom to express. As adults, being honest about how we feel, and expressing those feelings clearly is paramount to fostering confidence in a child, that there is no shame in our feelings, no duplicity in our words. This may sound overly simplistic but in this age of 'rationality' adults are encouraged to be unexpressive, particularly of anger, in an effort to protect the child and develop 'constructive' actions in response to frustrations. The problem with teaching children to be adults often results in emotional muzzling. Children need freedom to express themselves. This involves risks, sometimes with painful outcomes. The natural inclination of adults is to protect the child from any sort of risk. However, the more successful we are at protecting the child, the less resiliency the child develops through their own trial and error. Adults are too often over-manipulative and smothering in an effort to give their children a good start. Sometimes we just have to let the child climb the tree. - Donna L. commented on Do the words Love, Compassion and Spirituality belong in the workplace? As a lifelong career in healthcare, I would say that love, compassion and spirituality are the very elements that make the mission of caring for others so precious and worthwhile. It is compassion that lights the darkest hour of human crisis and soothes those of us who have been on the front lines of life and death. I would say that love is the environment you create for your work; compassion is the example of your deeds and words and spirituality guides our most effective actions and insights during the difficult times when common logic and formulaic responses fail us. - Donna L. commented on What are Your Best Tips for Being a Great Leader? I believe a great leader is a rarity in every human endeavor. This person is not only a great student of him or herself but also understands with likewise compassion those s/he must lead. This allows a potential leader to gain the insight that a leader requires to be a servant to his own deeper wisdom. John Wooden represented a great leader who probably reflected daily on the superlatives that existed within each of his team members, in other words, empowerment. I met John at UCLA and I witnessed the energy, humility and intelligence that shone around this man. In the absence of possessing these often rare skills, one might search for an apprenticeship to a leader who, by reputation, understands how to motivate, inspire and consistently maintain the most positive human environment. --- Hi Eric, I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack -- thanks! Your order should go out on Friday (I'm outta town working until then... sorry). Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- The gap between opportunity and response, is the opportunity for freedom! The only way out, is in. There is only love, and fear Our choice to live in either love or fear will literally, not only change our personal lives, science is now telling us that it will forever change this world we live in. 95% of our life comes from programs in the subsconscious mind. Half the battle is being able to identify what needs to be changed Curiosity Inquisitiveness Scrutanizing The Truth >> cool trailer music --- Investigative Interviewing http://www.metacentre.net/the-optics-principle/ --- “Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers... make sure you hands are clean!” - Bob Marley We are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. - Dalai Lama ---------- mcp -------- We have to think and see how we can fundamentally change our education system so that we can train people to develop warm-heartedness early on in order to create a healthier society. I don’t mean we need to change the whole system, just improve it. We need to encourage an understanding that inner peace comes from relying on human values like, love, compassion, tolerance and honesty, and that peace in the world relies on individuals finding inner peace. - Dalai Lama https://www.facebook.com/DalaiLama The great benefit of science is that it can make a tremendous contribution to the alleviation of suffering on a physical level, but it is only by cultivating the qualities of the human heart and transforming our attitudes that we can begin to address and overcome our mental suffering. We need both, since the alleviation of suffering must take place on both a physical and a psychological level. - Dalai Lama When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighbouring communities and so on. When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to de­velop inner happiness and peace. - Dalai Lama There are two kinds of happiness - the temporary pleasure derived primarily from material comfort alone and another more enduring comfort that results from the thorough transformation and development of the mind. We can see in our own lives that the latter form of happiness is superior because when our mental state is calm and happy, we can easily put up with minor pains and physical discomforts. On the other hand, when our mind is restless and upset, the most comfortable physical facilities do not make us happy. - Dalai Lama Honest concern for others is the key factor in improving our day to day lives. When you are warm-hearted, there is no room for anger, jealousy or insecurity. A calm mind and self-confidence are the basis for happy and peaceful relations with each other. Healthy, happy families and a healthy peaceful nation are dependent on warm-heartedness. - Dalai Lama Comparing the 20th century to now there are many hopeful signs. Look at the way people view war. These days many people challenge the need for it, they question why we have to resort to it. In the early twentieth century there was no talk about protecting the environment, yet now everyone is aware of it. Our perceptions are coming closer to reality; humanity is becoming more mature and I am optimistic about the future. - Dalai Lama I really feel that some people neglect and overlook compassion because they associate it with religion. Of course, everyone is free to choose whether they pay religion any regard, but to neglect compassion is a mistake because it is the source of our own well-being. - Dalai Lama Education is the proper way to promote compassion and tolerance in society. Compassion and peace of mind bring a sense of confidence that reduce stress and anxiety, whereas anger and hatred come from frustration and undermine our sense of trust. Because of ignorance, many of our problems are our own creation. Education, however, is the instrument that increases our ability to employ our own intelligence. - Dalai Lama Recognizing our shared humanity and our biological nature as beings whose happiness is dependent on others, we learn to open our hearts, and in so doing we gain a sense of purpose and a sense of connection with those around us. - Dalai Lama All the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I am increasingly convinced that the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics beyond religion altogether. - Dalai Lama Along with love, compassion is the face of altruism. It is a feeling from deep in the heart that you cannot bear others’ suffering without acting to relieve it. As compassion grows stronger, so does your willingness to commit yourself to the welfare of all beings, even if you have to do it alone. You will be unbiased in your service to all beings, no matter how they respond to you. - Dalai Lama I believe the ultimate source of blessings is within us. A good motivation and honesty bring self-confidence, which attracts the trust and respect of others. Therefore the real source of blessings is in our own mind. - Dalai Lama Hardship, in forcing us to exercise greater patience and forbearance in daily life, actually makes us stronger and more robust. From the daily experience of hardship comes a greater capacity to accept difficulties without losing our sense of inner calm. Of course, I do not advocate seeking out hardship as a way of life, but merely wish to suggest that, if you relate to it constructively, it can bring greater inner strength and fortitude. - Dalai Lama --- 08:53 GREAT pics, Sadie... nice to meet your little friends... thanks! (may I post these pics on my site?) ... and yes, I will send some biz cards with your order. THANKS for any referrals! - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Order From: Lavada Rowe Date: Sat, February 23, 2013 6:20 am To: matt@2gethelp.com It is a shame you have never seen a sugar glider. send me some cards and i will advertise for you. I know all the local breeders and pet stores. :-) This is Ian and Baby. Sadie. --- 08:54 up to the house for breakfast! and see p she left for Sac, in my car, with Tracy Kay, to save her inheritance did Enjoy!'s, and watched tube (and even danced/exercised some) most of the day (much fun) Finding Nemo (tears) Ace Venture (belly laughs!) some other junk Rugby 7's from Las Vegas (excellent!) here made a fire checking on FI$Cal project who is it? --- 4:58 Hi Melinda. Was I supposed to receive another email? If so, please re-send. Thanks. - Matt p.s. - we're at almost 6 months since I made paid you (paying in advance is not always the best policy, for either side). Do you have paying customers who are willing to work you on this kinda timing? --- 5:02 Hi Michael, It's been almost a month since our last correspondence... what's happenin' here? Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Cal state contract, legacy systems From: Date: Thu, January 31, 2013 11:04 am To: "Michael Domaratius" see attached signed NDA... --- Manure (from Larry) In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a byproduct is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T.' (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. - Shit, as defined in Wikipedia (pretty funny) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shit - Original Term Minced Oath Notes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minced_oath God goodness, gosh, golly, gad, gor Jesus gee, geez, geesh, jiminy Christ crickets, crikey or cripes Jesus Christ (two words) Christ on a bike, Jiminy Cricket or Jiminy Christmas, Judas Priest, Jeepers Creepers, Cheese and Rice, Geez Louise Hell Heck, H.E. double toothpicks, H.E. double hockey sticks damn darn, dang, dern goddamn doggone, dadgum, goodnessdarn, goshdarn, goshdang, goshdern, gotdang damnation tarnation, dangnation what the Hell what the heck, what in the World, what in Sam Hill, what the hay bastard bar steward fucking flipping, freaking, fricking, frigging, fudging, effing, fracking, frilling, fecking motherfucker mother-father, melon-farmer, monkey-fighter, futher-mucker, mothertrucker, motherlover shit shoot, sugar, shucks, sheesh, crap, ish, shat, shite, sheet, "sheesh", from German "Scheiße" (Scheiss) = "shit" nuts nerts, bananas bitch beach, beyotch, witch son of a bitch son of a gun, son of a pup, son of a biscuit, son of a preacher man, so-and-so --- 5:36 Go, write. I write a thot, but not just free, like I used to. I didn't have the focus I have now. but I have way much improvement togo. doing ok. Eucs are doing very well. ND people seem happy, except a few, who I don't want around, anyhow. I asked you nicely to talk about yourself, not 'them'. you responded harshly and negatively. I said Ouch, and ... whatever... and you proceeded to blast me with both barrels. ok, fine. not the first time, but it may be the last. are you sure you want me in your long list of Christine's Enemies? are you sure I've earned that? In fact, I've been more honest than some. I'd love to tell you what I really think, but your harshness keeps people from being honest with you. the perceived threat is waaay to big. and I think you know that, and you like it that way. fine. please take it elsewhere. bye. --- Josh's birthday, gotta go to dinner with them tonight PR just called and I wanna go, usually, like tomorrow... but I just settled in to being alone here, and writing. finally. I am an amazing distractorous, I get a boat load done, but I could do more. or more important, at least. the brewing thing is cute, and maybe true, but the procrastination, and distraction, and allowing divergence, could easily be minimized. am I going skiing Thurs and Friday with Sarah B., or no? I'm sad that I missed that Mental Health First Responder training. that's something I could do/be... handle people's big emotions, on the spot. live, and in their faces. so, maybe I need to create emotion, on the street. go talk to people and ask them those 3 questions... these might be the hardest questions you've ever answered? --- FB-IM Doc come talk to us back in the private ND group. I'd like your input. - Matt https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewDirectionsWorkshop Myron Doc Downing Clinical Director at Affective Center for Therapy Invited by Matt Perelstein about 11 months ago --- old Hi, all you silly peoples. We're here to lend a loving hand to our fellow NDers, so give some love, and let us know what you need! Hi NDers and 2GHers! We're all EQers, at heart! We're here to learn, practice, encourage and support others in the mastery of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). I'm not trying to make a brand of it... I'm trying to change the world with it. It's not my brand. it's not my idea. it was here way before I was. I just need to make a salary, and pay expenses, and off I go. My plan. On Sept. 11, 2013, (9-11), I plan to have funding in place to provide income of $10k/mo. ... and expenses paid. I'm ready. let's do this. start the biz start building the network start 2GH, 2VH and 2SH start the 2GHWC franchising start the regional 2GHTC's start the 2GHTC's in every state start EQ-101 start the databases start the journaling maybe it's too much, but I don't think it is. it doesn't have to be fancy. we don't need a big marketing dept... maybe no marketing dept. I'm not trying to get rich on this, I'm trying to make it work. we can do more with more money, but that's 'cause of the people. the design and development ain't hard. maybe we'd use Michael Port's company in Romania. or a cool co that wants to grow with us, locally. Marshall, I need you to do ND. but not without Paula... that's what she wants... to have it be fun, together. >> lets' design the video >> do the index cards together, tomorrow. The next ND is May 17-19 in Fresno. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Hope to c-u then! - Matt --- 9:46 LI-EIN Matt Perelstein • Feelings and emotions (EQ) without intellect and reason (IQ) can be sporadic, and irresponsible. Knowledge and logic (IQ) without heart and soul (EQ) can be ineffective, lonely, and even dangerous. The key, to me, is the balance of IQ and EQ -- left-brain + right-brain, cognitive + affective, knowledge + wisdom, yin + yang, masculine + feminine -- that makes it all work well, together. We've been teaching left-brain book-learning for many years now, and that's important, yet incomplete. It's up to US, those who know EQ, to teach/show/model/engage those who do not know. Please join me in spreading the good word about EQ to the world! --- Our first relationship is with ourselves. Our most important love affair is with your inner child. Our most precious asset is the trust of a child. we don't ever want to violate that trust. --- pause... --- 2.24 00:15 P's home, called to house, chat they were successful Jackie back-pedalled like crazy we'll see what happens next --- 01:05 back here The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Let us not therefore go hurrying about and collecting honey, bee-like, buzzing here and there impatiently from a knowledge of what is to be arrived at. But let us open out leaves like a flower, and be passive and receptive: budding patiently under the eye of Apollo and taking hints from every noble insect that favors us with a visit. - John Keats (1795 - 1821) The more senses you can get your prospects to utilize during your presentation, the better the odds of you doing business with them. If you are just talking, talking, talking, how many senses are involved? Only one, hearing. --- 01:15 Don, We were told during our Landmark Forum last month that there was no cost for this series, and when you called, we discussed this as well. Now, this flyer says it's $125... what gives? - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 01:52 LBL This has been done in PAD Tester. Please test and confirm. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Analysts Reports menu: tabs need to be updated to reflect FY12 instead of FY11 under the "summarized effort by: option buttons. From: Mary Tydingco Date: Wed, February 13, 2013 1:50 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: "Bill W. Ou" , Gail Mosley Matt, I am not sure how the tables get updated. My concern was the descriptive reference on the search buttons for each Fiscal year and the header field on the report layout. The FY13 search should be pulling information for 10/1/2012-9/30/2013 FY12 10/1/2011-9/30/2012. --- Active Memberships Site Status Purchase Date Expire Date Days Left HomeClips Active 2011-10-27 10:22:27 2014-02-23 23:59:59 364 --- 02:24 that feels good... finished LBL, (maybe) and delegated MFF database conversion (maybe) checking >>'s -- looked thru office for Karen's ND CDs no luck, but cleaned/straightened some, and found some interesting things. Bad news: haven't found CDs Good news: I have all 6 copied on my PC, and on my big HP backup drive (K:) --- 07:08 Hi, all you silly peoples. We're here to lend a loving hand to our fellow NDers, and to spread the good news about EQ, so give some love, and let us know what you need! The next ND is May 17-19 in Fresno. http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Hope to c-u then! Remember, we gotta feel it to heal it. - Matt --- Jennifer Stutzman ND Testimonial It has been really challenging. I will feel okay for a day or a few days, then crash again and be housebound and miserably sick. I haven't felt good since January. I have been dealing with this for so long, so I have already processed a lot of the anger, sadness, grief. It flares up, but the great thing is, I have had minimal depression, which I think is a testimony to my EQ. I'm trying not to be judgmental towards my unsupportive, absent family. I am grateful for my husband and good friends. I am ready for a little self improvement. I have the tools I need - I just need the mental stamina and clarity. My niece is living in CHAOS, which is hard for me to deal with. I'm trying to be supportive without feeling vicarious stress. Any ideas about the next Fresno class? --- 07:20 FB-IM Christina 7:20am Matt Perelstein Hi. So, yeah, I looked ALL over my office for the ND CDs, but no luck, still. The good news is that I DID, in fact, copy them to my PC, and to my backup drive, so I can make new ones, if necessary. Perhaps they're in Paula's office... will keep looking. How are your pics coming? How're your innerds feeling?? --- 08:22 Hi Jane, Matt here... from UYO in Sacramento... remember?!? We're STILL teaching workshops... and you're STILL teaching parenting, ey? Yay us! Wanna be friends on Facebook? I sent you a friend request awhile back. Hope you and yours are well! - Matt --- Parenting, the Positive Way https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-The-Positive-Way/464579200270246 TEN WAYS TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR CHILD/SPOUSE 1. Listen without interrupting 2. Speak without accusing 3. Give without sparing 4. Support without ceasing 5. Answer without arguing 6. Share without pretending 7. Enjoy without complaint 8. Trust without wavering 9. Forgive without punishing 10. Promise without forgetting --- Mental Health First Aid A 12-hour certification course to help communities better understand mental illness and respond to psychitric emergencies. http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/course_details.php?id=16623 Dates: 18 Mar 2013 - 20 Mar 2013 Address: 470 Chadbourne Road State: California Town/City: Fairfield ZIP code: 94534 Course Timetable: 9am-1pm Venue: Aldea Children and Family Services Cost: no charge Instructor: Mara Leon & Jenelle Kirkland Contact Email: mleon@aldeainc.org Contact Phone: 707-427-1845 http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/cs/what_you_learn ALGEE Action p Assess for risk of suicide or harm Listen non-judgmentally Give reassurance and information, show concern Encourage appropriate professional help Encourage self-help and other support strategies --- EQ-101.2 DVD in one window (happened to stop it with a great smile on my face... so took a screenshot of it) \Pics\~People\mcp\faves\mcp-EQ101-2.jpg Updating PPT v02 -> v03 EQ-101_Class2_EQHealing_v03.pptx Intro / Agenda Generally, EQ can save the world (show 1) Individually, EQ can change your life (show 2) 2. The Problem: Left-brain vs. Right-brain - Left-brain focus, Right-brain neglect - Right-brain feelings, trauma, belief systems 3. Emotional Healing: How it works/ND - Freud vs. Adler (powerless vs. powerful) - Clueless = dangerous, to self and others - Gives us control over our lives - Negative Feelings, expressed as intensely as they are felt, will reduce in intensity and are free to change! 4. Event --> Meaning --> Feeling --> Behaviour - show sheets, Paula asks, Matt answers/cries 5. Meanings (Belief Systems) are the key - We don’t react to people, events or words… we react to what they mean to us!6. The Solution: Activate the right-brain, change the meanings -Become consciously aware, act vs. react - Understand self, left-brain understanding - Awareness and act, not react 7. ND, connection - for over 25 years, teaching ND, healing, amazing changes - 3 Steps to Managing Feelings AAA - 7 Steps to Healing Feelings 8. Sept. 14 in fB (still relevant "coming soon") - 1st class here, after 11 years - Russian Gulch - $100 off by Sept. 1 9. Homework and Next Steps - What would you want from ND? - How is your childhood still effecting you today? 10. Closing slide to 3:49 Emotional Healing 1. From past becomes an unconscious Belief Systems what they are, how they're input, and our brain does with 'em bs, makes decisions look at your results I want a healthy, close, loving rel, but that's not the results you're getting, if you're not getting what you say you want, some bs is probably getting in your way. fears behind the belief systems. so we can make the changes we want. Left Right brain is where the BS We can't make conscious decisions on things we are not aware of Studies shows that the same incident can happen to 2 dif. people each person will remember the incident in dif. ways lasting impressions that are very different, although the incident was the same incide meanings, unconsciouls how to make changes in that exercise >> EMFB Matt's the example pick an event show each of the EMFB slides - need bottom slide 00:44 start How our emotions effect our decision-making 01:18 1. More aware - To know what we’re doing, we need to know what we are feeling. 2. More intentional - getting the results you want and knowing what you mean 3. More purposeful – to know what your feelings are, what’s attached 1:52 Left/right brain 17:44+ then the blank worksheet again Becoming consciously aware of how our feelings are directing us, instead of letting unconscious feelings trigger us, is so important 18:30 Steven Covey quote 18:44 Things are always gonna go on around us, our beliefs and our feelings, and how we integrate our feelings with our logical thought, and how we examine the results are really important. Freud vs. Adlerian slide Integrate Feelings with Logic Being aware of having those inside of us and accepting that we have those inside of us Awareness Acceptance Expression (in positive ways) Release Feeling 100% of your feelings trauma squishing, limiting ourselves more and more shut down, turns to depression and ailments feelings increase the limits, more flexibility, more freedom, more flow Understanding ourselves and others Act, rather that react to situation In class, EMFB Visualization how we have as a child Empathy allows us to connect if I have no idea what I'm feeling, I probably don't know what Empathy for self first Feelings are the universal way to connect EQ is the Study of Ourselves create new Slide: Handle the past Live more fully in the present To create a better future. 24:58-25:33 cut out FB class stuff reference 25:33 exercises in class parents didn't teach us bec. they didn't know they consciously or unconsciously shutting us down 26:24 cut out transition, paula whispering to me 7 Steps to Emotional Healing, big 7 Steps to Processing Negative Feelings (separate slides?) 1. Awareness and Understanding 2. Identify 3. Accept 4. Express 5. Release 6. Replace 7. Rejoice 7 Steps Brain 1. Awareness and Understanding Left 2. Identify Left/Right 3. Accept Left/Right 4. Express Right 5. Release Right 6. Replace (F's and BS) Left/Right 7. Rejoice Right (practice/find evidence to support new bs) --- 08:33 ND Testimonial My mom. But that's okay. I'm in a challenging and great place: I'm creating a more peaceful inner existence, and a more peaceful relationship with the world. - Cary P. --- 08:53 Got 'em... thanks. I have all 59 in PDFs now, if you want them. Yes, Jane's still around and still teaching parenting! I just wrote to her on Facebook. I agree that ER (emotional responsibility) is an important step... I'm suggesting now that it's the First step to EQ... taking responsibility for our own Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours. It is a hard concept, but it's also a life-changer, and the beginning of the journey to emotional freedom and emotional mastery. Like the first step in AA: "Admitted that we were powerless over (whatever addiction) and that our lives had become manageable..." only backwards... "Admitted that we are 100% powerful with our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and that our lives have become totally manageable!" (just playing with different ways to sum up EQ in 1 sentence) whatchathink? - Matt --- 08:58 FB-ND I believe that the first step to EQ is ER (emotional responsibility)... taking responsibility for our own Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours. "no one MAKES us angry... we can choose to be angry, or not... it's up to us." It is a hard concept, but it's also a life-changer, and the beginning of the journey to emotional freedom and emotional mastery. whatchathink? - Like the first step in AA and other 12-step programs: "We admitted that we were powerless over (our addiction) and that our lives had become manageable..." ... only backwards... "We admitted that we are 100% powerful with our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and that our lives have become totally manageable!" --- 08:20 Hi Karen, Sorry the Euc leaves didn't go too well last time! a. Yes, I'd be happy to send you some seeds (no charge) that you can try yourself. If you want to get more, go to: http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html -- they're only $2.50 for hundreds. b. I'm willing to send you another batch to try. You suggested sending the leaves "in baggies with moisture" -- I didn't understand that. Let me know how you'd like them, and I'll try to make that happen. c. We have no overnight service available here in Fort Bragg, CA. Priority Mail ("2-3 days"), the way I always send them, is the best we have to offer. Ok? Let me know how you'd like them, and let's try again. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: My last order From: Karen Hodge Date: Sun, February 24, 2013 8:54 am To: "Eucs@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt, I am the person from Austin who ordered Eucs for her Hahns Macaw who was sick. Unfortunately they sat at the post office a few days and arrived pretty moldy. He was (and continues) to fight sort of beak infection and couldn't chance exposure and we didn't use them. Additionally, I have Lupus and am not supposed to handle garden much as I get skin infections from it. With gloves I can garden as long as I limit my exposure to organic, untreated soil that is dry. So its a conundrum for me! I would still like to see if your eucs can help him, and perhaps grow one from seeds. Do you have any ideas for getting them to us in Austin without the risk of mold? It seemed that they needed to send in baggies with moisture. Any chance you could send some that have the soil rinsed off and then dried first? I realize this would be such a bother and I apologize. I have been through a year of debilitating illness and have to be careful, and I think your eucs are incredible and hoping I can avail them to my sweet little parrot. Maybe if they were rinsed and patted dry and then overnighted? Just a thought. Thanks from Karen in Austin, Texas Karenzhodge@gmail.com Karen Hodge, LPC, LMFT-A Kfhodge@sbcglobal.net (512) 636-1945 --- 09:27 Ok, I got the powerpoint for EQ-101.2 done (finally). Let's schedule a half-hour or hour with Mateo to integrate the video and the graphics, and get this DONE and shown, shall we!? How about Friday (3/1) or next Friday (3/8)? Thanks for your patience. A lady came up to me last weekend and said she had just seen me on MCTV (yay) which means you're showing EQ-101-1 again (double-yay!). How'd your shoulder surgery go? Hope you're well... c-ya soon. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: EQ101 From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Mon, December 10, 2012 12:44 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, Mateo worked on the powerpoint slides for EQ101 show #2 making them have bigger type,etc - but then tried to see where they would go in the program # 2 and couldn't figure out what should go where as the slides don't really follow your talk. So we are stuck for now. We have a dvd of the program as recorded which it seems like you should look at and see what you think about where slides go etc. If you can drop by and pick it up (it is on my desk with your name on it) you can figure out what goes with what I imagine. Also this show you announce (more than once I think) about the Sept 12 workshop so there will need to be some editing to eliminate that I imagine. So we are kind of stuck until after the holidays I think - Mateo leaving for Ecuador for three weeks and I am out for a bit now as I am having shoulder surgery. Hope you have good holidays, Elizabeth --- 09:28 to house for breakfast... --- changed oil in Rav4 & MH PP = 2788 -70 Lee's for Josh's b-day -27 Hopmonk in Novato -200 PR and I --- "Gone" good one! Amanda Siegfried "Pariah", not so good, to bed 10ish --- 2.25 04:20 up shower pack espn 05:37 Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal. --- LI-EIN (44,297) Developing Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130220201130-117825785-developing-emotional-intelligence?goback=%2Eanp_75300_1361799690058_1%2Egmp_75300%2Egde_75300_member_216083935 1. Get Committed 2. Get Practical If you persist in the better habit, that new circuitry will connect and become more and more powerful, until one day you'll do the right thing in the right way without a second thought. That means the circuitry has become so connected and thick that this is the brain’s new default option. With that change in the brain, the better habit will become your automatic choice. - 05:51 (by mcp) The 'Get Practical' part of this article describes well what we teach as the 4 Steps to Learning (anything): 1. Unconsciously Incompetent - "we don't know that we don't know" 2. Consciously Incompetent - "we find out that we don't know" 3. Consciously Competent - "we find ways to know, to do it different, to change, to improve" 4. Unconsciously Competent - "our new way becomes a habit that we don't have to think about any more." Well done, Daniel (as usual)! - Thanks for the article Daniel. There was a lot of thought and effort put into it. And, I agree, it does start with a commitment. The way I understand things, is that we have all the knowledge and wisdom that we will ever need right inside of us. It's there already. My belief is that we've been living in our brains for far too long. For the past 13,000 years actually. And, we've forgotten about our heart. We don't remember it. In order for us to really get at the truth, we must stop living from our brains, and must in fact move back down into the heart and start living from there. Actually seeing through our eyes of the heart and NOT the brain, and living there. We all know exactly how to do this. It's a memory and it will come back at the right moment. We are at the most critical time in the history of mankind. We are all here at this most important juncture for a reason. We all have a job to do. We need to start by beginning to remember. By Deborah Hall --- Daniel Goleman Six Styles Of Leadership (7:32 video, with transcription below it) http://www.morethansound.net/blog/2011/12/six-styles-of-leadership/ PP = 2799.80 --- Video series for Product Creation http://www.makemarketlaunch.com/launch/7-step-formula/ make more work less help more people in a down economy is when people try to grow degree in ADHD from the school of hard knocks --- 06:09 Georgi Sorry for the delay, Georgi... it's just me and Josh approving EVERY message and request to join. And take into account, that 5 hours ago is the middle of the night for us/US. We try to approve items as quickly as we can... and we actually have a life outside of this group. Thanks for your involvement - EQRocks! - Matt --- Stuart A. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi all. My name is Stuart and I’m originally from Wales in the UK. I’m currently working in the US as a Quality Manager for a vehicle manufacturer. The years I’ve had managing and leading people have been difficult at times. I’ve always said that if you manage people, then you also need a degree in psychology and human nature. Thankfully EI bridges that gap and creates a lifetime of learning and development. I have a son with global development delays. Everything I learn in either my personal or professional life helps and complements the other. I’ve joined The EQ Network because I want to learn more about myself and become the leader, father and husband I know I can be; by sharing my ideas and contributing to others on this forum. --- 06:23 FB-NDG GOOD NEWS, Megan? -- NONE of what you described has ANYthing to do with you, or you being wrong or bad, or a bad mom -- NONE of it. If anything, you are a good friend, and you're developing some boundaries... so Congrats! Remember also, that if we cry and cry with no relief, that means there's Anger there too (and if we anger and anger with no relief, there's probably tears, too). You're doing great sweetie. Do some anger, let her your ex-friend, with love, and go back to being your own cool self! --- ND testimonials Thanks ND for all your love and care last weekend !!! I do feel release ! - Ricci Lynda Abraugh Thank you ND group for holding me, your hugs, allowing me to grieve deeply my deceased Son John. My heart feels blessed. Love to ALL. Cary Parkins Where I'm at right now: the most real and precious freedom I can have is the freedom only I can grant to me--the freedom inside me. To gain that I must learn to not be swayed by my delusions. To gain that I must learn to not be swayed by my judgements, especially my judgements about me. --- LI-EIN 06:42 how to defuse your Anger? Share some of your personal anger management techniques. what if your whole family is trying to exploit yourself for their selfish needs, what you will be going to do in such case? Share Your anger Management techniques. - Knowing that our anger is based on a Thought, that has become a Feeling, is a key to defusing it. And more specifically, anger is based on a judgment, a negative thought, about someone or something. Disappointment enters in, as well, but disappointment is about managing our own expectations, and our 'shoulds' (you should, I should, the world should...) As for family, the question might be... is it more important to me to be close, or to be right? Good luck with it all, Sami! --- Mental Health First Aid USA http://www.thenationalcouncil.org/galleries/nc-live/MHFA%20Depression%20oct%202012.pdf It is estimated that one in four Americans have a diagnosable and treatable mental disorder at some point in their lives. It is extremely likely you will encounter someone in your family, workplace, school, church, or community who is experiencing mental health challenges and requires support and intervention. YOU can help, if you understand… - “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou - “Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity, and stumble from defeat to defeat.” - Anais Nin Walking Between Two Worlds I often felt as if I was walking between two worlds; one where I desperately wanted to live but didn’t know how. The other was a world where I desperately wanted to cease to exist in order not to feel the emotional pain I lived with every day. Wellness Recovery Action Planning® WRAP www.mentalhealthrecovery.com Please… ? Listen ? Let me know you care ? Try to understand more about what I am going through ? Ask me what would be helpful ? Support me in getting help ? Share your experience of overcoming a dark time (without comparing) ? Offer hope based on your experience ? Do little things with me ? Offer me options ? Go with me to appointments ? Pray for my relief, not my soul Please Do Not… ? Tell me to pull myself up by the bootstraps ? Tell me to just get over it ? Tell me that I should be grateful for all I have ? Tell me to pray about it or that you are praying for my soul ? Tell me I have so much to live for ? Tell me that everything is going to get better ? That I must go to the hospital ? Guilt trip me ? Shame, blame, or judge me What Made the Difference? ? Asking what happened to me rather than what is wrong with me? ? De-stigmatization ? Safe and secure alternatives to hospitalization and medication when requested ? Belief in me until I could believe in myself ? Learning wellness tools that I could use to create the life I wanted and now have Strategies that Worked ? Medication can be helpful but there is much more to recovery ? Wellness Recovery Action Planning® WRAP www.mentalhealthrecovery.com ? Peer Support ? Taking personal responsibility for my own wellness ? Working with a therapist who understood that I was walking between two worlds – one where I wanted to live and one where I didn’t want to exist ? Time, patience and healing environments ? Being able to talk freely about what I was thinking without jumping to conclusions --- 6 Simple Ways to Accelerate your Learning with Mind Mapping http://elearningindustry.com/6-simple-ways-to-accelerate-your-learning-with-mind-mapping The following ways to accelerate your learning are simple yet indispensable for successful results. 1. Focus on a central topic What are you focusing your learning on? When participating at a conference, listening to a lecture or simply trying to establish an essay structure, you want to be able to identify the “central topic”. You want to know that which is essential for establishing the meaning of everything that follows after it. In the process of focusing on the central topic, you can rely on your imagination or you can choose to be more practical and use a mind mapping app where you can: organize your ideas around it choose the right layout for the information you are trying to retain establish the relationship between the central topic and other secondary topics related to it Structuring your ideas on a visually appealing “canvas” will allow you to come back to your ideas any time and build on your central topic. 2. Synthesize the information What is the best way to do this? create subtopics which allow you to summarize the most important ideas add comments or notes to any topic addressed where necessary emphasize on the mind map the section you want to focus on at a later time by adding a boundary 3. Identify the most relevant points If you take a look back at the final exams during your college years you must remember those note cards with “key words” on them which helped you survive through it all. Here’s a better alternative to those college note cards, give life to key words on a mind map and let your learning process continue in a very professional way: key words can be gold for you to better grasp certain concepts in various fields of work 4. Use visual aids and helpers include images that are relevant for the information provided add videos and links to better support your learning and to improve your retention capacity make the most of colors by choosing the right “theme” for your mind map content. Choosing the right color creates an inviting atmosphere for you whenever you approach that piece of information that you are trying to retain. Also, since our mind makes different associations when it comes to colors and sounds, this may be a great opportunity for you to practice your creativity on choosing the color which will motivate you most to learn new concepts. 5. Create Presentations One of the most important roles of presentations is for you to practice your creativity and understanding on a specific topic or subject. When you are able to present your own perspective on a specific matter, your learning experience becomes extremely powerful. You become the owner of that information, gaining ownership over the delivered content. As you get yourself ready to make your knowledge known remember to: summarize your learning experience in a presentation deliver and provide accurate information generate new and original ideas 6. Get Feedback Does it surprise you that feedback can add great value to your learning process? Asking for feedback and being willing to listen to constructive remarks is one of the greatest assets you can benefit from as you learn new concepts. Your flexibility of learning from other people shows that you are coachable and open to collaborate. The skill of teamwork is first of all practiced when one masters the art of accepting and offering constructive feedback. --- How to see the world beyond Feelings ? Good conversation and every opinion very valid. For myself, I had to learn to separate my emotions from other persons' feelings, which at the time turned out to be manipulation. I was always cast as being too emotional, and I'd always hear things like "Oh Lord, there she goes already, she's crying !" I never could of course understand what the hell 'they' meant because I have feelings! Then when it happened that in a court of man's law, the fact that I am emotional was attempted to be used against me, I got really angry and fed up. This led to my first course on Emotional Literacy Education. Of course I found out there was nothing 'wrong' with me and in fact I'm a great person from the very fact that I am emotional and I FEEL! My studies continue(d) and over a ten year period I have become a Psychometrician. The question:- How to see the world beyond Feelings ? Well, let's just say those who tried to manipulate my feelings; now take a deep breath and smile. In this way they admit their WRONG! And I don't have to feel or say anything! By Merle McGann --- 07:03 Yeehaa. Job sounds really good. And it sounds like you'll be making a bold move... good for you! (you guys will still have to come to Fresno for NDs, tho... unless we can get them going in Sac again... which I would love!). I have a www.Smashwords.com account that you can use: matt@2gethelp.com / 7777 (4 7's) Thanks much for your help. This is above and beyond, so if you'd like to get paid for your time here, I'm happy to oblige (this is important -- Doc's book is essential EQ training, and nobody knows about it). You rock! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EBook Conversion From: Erika Date: Sun, February 24, 2013 6:34 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi! I would be doing a lot of different things, payroll, tech support, talking to prospects, marketing, preparing proposals, invoicing, graphic design, website coding... He's essentially created a position for me to fill at Inspironix, and our hope is that I would work toward becoming CFO. Yes, it would involve a move to Sacramento. It's a huge change for me, and the hardest part would be leaving behind the people here that I care about, but it has the potential for advancement, which I don't have at my current job. At this point I think I'm going to accept the job. He's sending me the official paperwork in the next couple days. So far fear is the only thing that's presented itself as a reason not to go and I've decided that's not a good enough reason. If nothing else comes to mind between now and when I get the paperwork I expect to accept his offer. Regarding the book, I reviewed the guide and it looks like formatting the pictures is just as straightforward as formatting the text. I expect it would take less than three hours, probably less than two, and I could have it done this week. There's only one thing that concerns me. The only way to view the ebook on Smashwords is to publish it. Once it's published you can double check the various formats, make any necessary changes, and then upload a new file. I would either need to have access to Doc's account or someone with access to Doc's account would have to upload it and let me know if there are any problems. My stories involved minor troubleshooting and everything was easy to fix, but the process could be a bit slower and more complicated if the book has to get handed back to someone else for uploading. My thought is that Doc's account could be given a temporary password while I work on formatting. Once I'm done the password can be changed back to whatever Doc normally uses. It would be simplest to do the same with Amazon, though at least with Amazon you can preview the Kindle file before publishing the book. Thoughts? ~Erika~ http://www.erikafriedman.com --- 07:03 2 orders and go... 07:35ish --- 11:26 here, ~4 hours 1.5 from Cloverdale to SR apt. --- 11:43 The Emotional Intelligence Network how to defuse your Anger? Sami: When I get angry, I take a moment to step back and look at the message my anger is giving me about how I perceive my current situation. According to my Emotions as Tools Model, the message of anger is that I perceive a threat that two parts. The first part is that the perceived threat has unwanted consequences if I don't do something about it. The second part of the message of anger is that I believe I have the power to overcome the threat. My anger, through adrenalin, gives me all the energy I need to attack the perceived threat. The threat may be physical or psychological and might involve my self-image, my goals, an important relationship, my values, etc. Once I have identified the threat, I do not need to diffuse or control my anger. My task is to determine whether the threat is indeed something I need to do something about or, if I have misunderstood the situation, that I need to take some other action such as asking for clarification or, perhaps, ignoring the situation and walking away. Diffusing, controlling, or suppressing one's anger are useful only when you are about to lose control and take an action you will later regret. For all other times, use your anger as a tool to empower you to make decisions about and take appropriate action concerning the "threat" your anger is alerting you may exist that requires your attention. Admittedly, using your emotion as a tool is not "natural" and must be practiced. The "natural" thing to do is to act-out first and ask questions later (when it may be too late). I hope this helps. Ed Daube, Ph.D. The Emotions Doctor "Emotions as Tools A Self Help Manual for Controlling Your Life not Your Feelings" (Available on Amazon) By Ed Daube, Ph.D. --- D-R Study, survey in Europe Does your job require that you hide your feelings? http://www.eurofound.europa.eu/surveys/smt/ewcs/ewcs2010_06_06.htm --- 2pm here stopped at Verizon to get music transferred... but they can't (won't do files) contacts were already there, and it was already activated --- Droid USB is called Motorola XT825 copied all 483 pics/vids from Droid to C: (IMS laptop) 5Gb, 488Gb free Droid flash drive has 7Gb free From C:\MyMusic to From F:\MOT\Music 1280 songs, 114 folders, 5Gb and mcp.txt from I: Removable Disk to G:\DROID\MCP --- Clipped Card was 'blocked' bec. credit card on file expired 1/13 don't have a replacement. had to buy a one-time pass for $9, got 2 by accident WageWorks said the $100 went out of my Feb. 2 paycheck to Clipper, but it hadn't... but they said it's fixed now Clipper said it's 'cause the CC on file had expired (0253 1/13) so changed Clipper backup from CC to Bank Account: XXXXXX0318 hopefully, that'll do it. $51 balance 2/4 $100 loaded, then depleted throughout the month tried to load $50 from CC on 2/21, failed, blocked will try again, may take up to 48 hours get another card in the meantime --- dial 511 for travel info in Bay area www.511.org --- got $25 on Fastrack www.bayareafastrack.com --- anthea, success strategies 6pm tues call --- when asking for volunteers, or to elicit help pehaps it's better to say, "I need...", or "I'm trying to...", or even "We need..." as opposed to a dry requests re: the organization. more personal --- >> see Jim's experience Summary (below), and word mine similarly for D-R resume Professional Goals: Experience Summary: Employment History: Education: Jim Frankfort, MD now reports to Brad _ Jim's bio Professional Goals: To hold a position that makes optimal use of my portfolio of skills to help improve the quality and safety of healthcare and reduce overall cost. I excel in a team environment, enjoy a challenge, and believe in learning continuously. Experience Summary: 1. Medical Informatics: Deep understanding of inference engines, cost models, profiling, coding systems, messaging systems, and workflow. Working knowledge of healthcare communication standards. 2. Clinical: Board certified in Internal Medicine, Pulmonary Disease, and Critical Care. Twelve years experience in a private practice setting. 3. Information Technology: Experience in electronic health record vendor selection/implementation, systems planning, data modeling, database application development, and tool development. Extensive data mining and report development experience. 4 Management: Experience in a small company environments, have worn many hats; member of the senior team, managed Informatics &, Development teams. Several years experience as Medical Director of an IPA, Medical Director of an ICU, Committee Chair: Utilization Review and Pharmacy & Therapeutics, and member of a hospital Medical Executive Committee. 5. Quality/Process Improvement: Graduate of Intermountain Health Care Advanced Training Program in Health Care Delivery Improvement, facilitated development of system wide care pathways, order sets, and comparative performance reporting. 6. Patient Safety: Program manager for a patient safety reporting system used by the VA. Experience in program management and planning, giving presentations at safety conferences, issues surrounding patient safety reporting, human factors, and human error. 7. Development: Experience in all phases of product development including strategic planning, specification writing, and project management. Strength in developing tactical solutions and communicating them in writing. 8. Tools: Proficient to expert in Outlook, MS-office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint), Access, Visio, MS-Project, MS-SQL server, WebEx, SharePoint, and Adobe Acrobat. Employment History: 1. 07/10 – present, Chief Medical Officer and VP Clinical Informatics, IMS Health Payer Solutions 2. 05/07 – 07/10, Chief Medical Officer and VP Informatics, Med-Vantage Inc, San Francisco, CA 3. 11/05 – 02/07, Booz Allen Hamilton Associate on the Global Health Team. On site as Program Manager for NASA Patient Safety Reporting System. 4. 01/98 – 6/05, Chief Medical Officer and Director of Medical Informatics, Resolution Health Inc, San Jose, CA 5. 01/87 – 02/00, Private practice in pulmonary disease and critical care, Gilroy, CA 6. 10/96 – 06/97, Physician – Information Services Liaison, Columbia Bay Area Healthcare (.5 FTE), San Jose, CA 7. 04/95 – 10/96, Physician – Information Services Liaison, the Good Samaritan Health System (.5 FTE), San Jose, CA 8. 07/86 – 01/87, Staff Physician in the Respiratory Disease Department, The City of Hope National Medical Center, Duarte, CA Education: 1. Advanced Training Program in Health Care Delivery Improvement, Intermountain Health Care, Salt Lake City, Utah, 1995 2. Pulmonary Fellowship, University of California (Irvine), 1985 – 1987 3. Internal Medicine Residency, University of California (Irvine), 1983 – 1985 4. Doctor of Medicine, SUNY Downstate Medical Center, Brooklyn, New York, 1978 – 1982 5. Bachelor of Arts, Lake Forest College, Lake Forest, Illinois, 1974 – 1978 --- >> go back thru notes marked with "D-R" and copy to steps doc >> do Index cards with dif. parts of 2GH cards (MFF) are in car --- 4:38 schnoozle now 4:41 good grief! --- 6:31 off to Landmark Forum Seminar Series #1 of 10 hopefully, getting a ride home with Rebekka --- 2.26 --- 10:57 'home' from Landmark Forum Seminar Series, week #1 really good stuff, gobs of notes in Blue notebook with white dots Knowing vs. Being (left vs. right-brain, actually) Rebekkah, and family (Santa Rosa) LF group "lorencls@comcast.net" , "hgreinetz@gmail.com" , "beckahl@att.net" , "Don Schmahl" , "shaftermike@gmail.com" --- LI-EIN A Human being = Emotions + Knowledge If we take EQ as a measure of emotions and IQ as a measure of knowledge, every given reasoning/statement about something will follow the formula: Statement = a*EQ + b*IQ, where a + b = 1. In most situations the coefficient "a" is always much greater than "b", i.e. emotions tend to override simple reasoning. This is due to the simple fact that we cannot be 100% sure to know everything about something in any given moment. Thus emotions compensate for the lack of knowledge about something because we have to think and take decisions all the time. --- 11:13 FB-Eucs Nope. This is bizarre you guys, because probably 80-90% of our customer, for over 6 years, are (very happy) Sugar Gliders (like Luna), but neither I, nor anyone in my family, has ever actually SEEN a sugar glider, in person! As I'm sure most of you know, marsupials (puched animals, including ferrets, koalas, and kangaroos!) are illegal in California, and even when we've gone on trips to other states, and tried to find one, we failed. Someday... --- Timeline Photos KEEP IT SIMPLE The best tool to increase efficiency, is KEEP IT SIMPLE it re...duces distractions. To find a quiet retreat in your conference room, study or garden is helpful.Neil Paul "Yes, there is a nirvana; it is in leading your sheep to a green pasture, and in putting your child to sleep, and in writing the last lie of your poem." - Kahlil GibranSee More Happiness lies in the acceptance of the knowledge that you are alive, and self aware for a finite amount of time, and take care to enjoy and appreciate every form of sensory stimulation while in a conscious state. Happiness is not having to ask what happiness is... It's learning to let go. Happiness is one that defies logic not for you but others who don't understand what means to follow your heart. Neil Paul www.neilpaul.co.in --- Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret | Video on TED.com on.ted.com We're taught to try to live life without regret. But why? Using her own tattoo as an example, Kathryn Schulz makes a powerful and moving case for embracing our regrets. This was really good, yoiu guys... I suggest you watch it! Regret (and, what we call, 'productive guilt'), can be considered negative feelings, but they can also be transformational and extremely valuable to our growth and development! --- 2.26 00:50ish down 06:50 up Marcie, MFF Hi. No, I had missed that email completely... sorry... thanks for the gentle reminder. so, I can mess with it some this weekend. I don't have any special graphic software (any more), so I'm not great at this. I do not like our header, so I agree that we should do something cool(er) with it. I wonder if we could ask a pro to do us up one... I'll bet we can get to Dave Mathews, or the lady who does our flyers, or Marshall, or I have a graphic design lady who's very inexpensive... and get a professional-looking header for under $100. As for Vertical Response vs. Constant Contact... I have no prob switching over... as long as we can move the names over. We'd lose our 'history', but I don't think we care that much. The other thing is that VR is free to Non-profits (well, not free, but we get 10,000 emails a month... which we've never gotten near). thoughts? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: A change in MFF e-blast look From: Marcie Schorg Date: Mon, February 25, 2013 10:56 am To: Matt Perelstein Have you had time to mull this over? I want this to be a test to see if others like it - so not ready to make a permanent change yet. Looking forward to what you come up with! Marcie Begin forwarded message: From: Marcie Schorg Date: February 20, 2013 10:38:37 AM PST To: Matt Perelstein Subject: Fwd: A change in MFF e-blast look Hi Matt, I'm looking to find a way to make the top of our e-blasts smaller so that more of the blast itself is visible to the recipient, thus catching their interest in what... well, interests them! Attached is one of Mendocino Art Center's Constant Contact e-blasts. The photos are visually appealing and really show the reader what the Center is about. Would you be able to play with MFF's logo, 2013 dates, and photos? Make the MFF logo smaller and left justified. I believe we will have the 2013 Festival dates embedded into the logo soon. Nix the Save the date stuff - just show the dates, it's getting close enough. Then add photos to the right of the logo: Pic of the office, pic of a film, the pic of people waiting outside Crown Hall, Arena Theater pic, a pic of Mendocino from across the bay or any Mendocino pic. I don't have one of those but I can go take one. That's too many pics of course but I've attached them. Maybe you have your own ideas. Would really like to have MFF move to Constant Contact - I think much of the "floating copy" problem would be solved. Thanks Matt, Marcie --- LF group "lorencls@comcast.net" , "hgreinetz@gmail.com" , "beckahl@att.net" , "Don Schmahl" , "shaftermike@gmail.com" --- Next ND: May 17 (per Paula) --- bus crash just before Lucky Dr. so, massive traffic missed ferry, and 08:30 bus to Lucky Dr. (got pic) bus 24 to SF Financial District stood entire way 09:50 here no matter(!) --- lost one --- PP = 2771 --- PHI Procedures http://www.cfo.pitt.edu/policies/policy/07/07-02-02.html http://www.training-hipaa.net/template_suite/Authorization_for_Release_of_Inf.pdf - 2:39 Hi Laura, Please find attached our policy for the release of PHI, as well as a copy of our authorization signature form. Let me know if you need anything else in order to resolve this matter. Thank you, Matt Perelstein, Executive Director 2GetHelp, Inc. --- IMS Informatics Tech Specers Lalini Ailaboina Wenxin Guan June Yu Kiran Sunkari Michael Blair Holly DeVore Shruti Ganghadar Priya Blazkova-Chandra Matt Perelstein Clinicians Irina Yermilov Judy Chen Hua Chen Naveena Bobba Melanie Decker Methodology Luis Paita Quifei Ma Youda Wang Gene Ott Tricia Borg Content & Tools Edelmira Rodriguez Kenneth Tyler Ramon Sebastian Engineering Jimmy Lam Amanda Praril Cheng Blanco Aileen DeSoto Scott Lin Amber Tucker Samson Lee PM/Admin Support Lakisha Clark Kevin Steuck Tom Westlake Jim Frankfort --- >> post Heddeger quote on LI-EIN --- paid Verizon $250 from joint checking (added payment option) on 02/28/13 setup Friends and Family with new IMS Standup # 855-467-6338 >> change to Unlimited calling plan? (after payment goes thru) 3G: *228 4G: sim card 143 , unlimited --- Hi again Henry! I was surprised that you ordered a branch this time... I didn't think insects cared for the branches... I thought they just liked the leaves. Also, did you want some more bramble? Thanks for the order! Enjoy. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Do the concepts slowly, and carefully people have never heard them before. GOOD NEWS!! "No one has ever made you angry... you decided to be angry." big dif. Our Feelings are Ours... we get to choose, and we can choose, and we do choose, each and every one. all day, every day, year in and year out. we choose. we effect. we affect. we think, which makes us feel. change our thinking, and it changes everything! >> Taking Control of your Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours(!) yep. Let's not Sell 'em. let's Give and Give and Give some more. (hint, it's to our advantage if they use our product!) and theirs. With EQ, everyone wins the teacher, the student, even passers-by who hear the concepts. We cannot make good decision, ANY decisions on stuff we're not Aware of. we can't decide about whether to slow down until we realize/notice/become aware of/get it, that we're going too fast. we can't decide to ... >> examples we gotta know. and people don't know. so let's know 'em, shall we?!? People don't know these concepts. they're simple, straight-forward and clear understandable, memorable, enjoyable. oh, and it's FREE. EQ: Have as much as you want, anytime you want, wherever you want oh, and it's FREE. Yes, we get to Choose. we can be happy, and we can be miserable. It's TOTALLY UP TO US! that's SUCH good news, I think... it gives me Power, and Control, over myself, my thoughts, my energy, how my day's going, or how it's gonna be, how my life is, how I treat people, how much/little I get outta life, dependent, of couse, on how much I (choose) to put into life! I can withdraw, and I can advance. I can take the bull by the horns, I can call 'bull' when I see it, and I can be full-a-bull sometimes, just for fun! 9:03 bandcamp is happenin; but it's not Lumanation. up, jazz, nice... very nice. body's a swayin' and some lucky guy is getting to play on Tom's awesome drum set. these guys have keyboards, and L doesn't. 3 guitars, Tom and Bobby G.(!) I've gotta easy job... I just gotta do it in SF. it's not that --- p is having another meltdown make sure some people actually this makes sense. these people are serious and they know what they're talking about. we're on the same path it's too scary if people don't have confidence in you that you're professional and know what they're doing. this is coming up. let's get you closed two weeks before class bec. there's stuff fo ryou to study. study what I'm doing wrong, not what you wanna do right. it feels like it's not you don't need to get thru to me be careful maybe it's working 'getting thru to me' you don't understand how it works. definition donation how much value can be deductible --- What is Emotional Intelligence? http://eqforsuccess.com/what-is-emotional-intelligence/ Emotional Intelligence is a set of social and emotional skills that help people become aware of their own strengths and focus on developing them, while successfully recognizing those of others’ and managing own weaknesses or vulnerabilities. This single but powerful factor determines our social competency, relationship skills and ability to manage our own emotions and effectively deal with those of others’. In other words, Emotional Intelligence shapes how we interact with the world around us and with ourselves. From our prospective, Emotional Intelligence can absolutely be enhanced and developed with the right level of training. This philosophy is what drives us at EQ for Success. We work with people and organizations, locally and internationally, to help them reach their highest potential through key-exercises and education that taps into their Emotional Intelligence. Symptoms of Being Emotionally-Intelligent: Meaningful Life Satisfying Relationships Commitment to Quality Work Self-Reliability Creativity and Innovative Problem-Solving Skills Ability to Make thoughtful and Effective Decisions Good Communication Skills and Ability to Persuade Ability to Learn from Successful Peers (Be a Mentee) Willingness To Pass Secrets of Success (Be a Mentor) Being Assertive and Sharing Ideas Business Case Study on Emotional Intelligence Today’s business environment is dynamic and highly competitive. To ensure your competitive advantage, you need to be able to keep up with rapid change, make faster more thoughtful decisions, stay collaborative, flexible and open-minded, be a good negotiator and a great listener, and remain optimistic even during the times of adversity. Emotional Intelligence drives business-success in many well-known companies – see examples below. AT&T participated in a large, cross-industry study that found in all levels of management, increased emotional intelligence accounted for 20% more productivity. 91% of top-performers were high in EQ-competencies. Emotional intelligence explained nearly 60% of job performance across companies in that study (Bradberry, 2002). Google has been teaching a Transformative Course on Emotional Intelligence “Search Inside Yourself” by Chade-Meng Tan, one of Google’s earliest engineers and personal growth pioneer. By enhancing mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence, googlers advanced in life and career. Coca-Cola trained its leaders in Emotional Intelligence and found that these individuals exceeded their performance targets by 15%, while, in contrast, leaders who did not develop Emotional Intelligence competencies missed their targets by the same margin, which made it for a 30% gap. The US Air Force reduced recruiter turnover from 35% annually to only 5% annually by selecting candidates high in Emotional Intelligence. Total cost savings of $3 million per year on a $10,000 investment (GAO Archive). American Express chose to provide a group of its salespeople with training classes to improve their Emotional Intelligence. Results indicated that those who took the training significantly increased their sales performance relative to those who did not. The experiment was so compelling that now all incoming American Express salespeople receive several days of training in Emotional Intelligence. L’ Oreal realized a $91,370 increase per head for salespeople selected for their high EQ skills. The group also had 63% less turnover than sales staff not part of the EQ program (Cherniss, 2003) For more successful business case-studies and information about return on investment, please click on the following links: Business Case Study #1 http://eqforsuccess.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/MHS_Brief_ROI.pdf Business Case Study #2 http://www.eiconsortium.org/pdf/business_case_for_ei.pdf Business Case Study #3 http://www.slideshare.net/jdjarrell/roi-of-emotional-intelligence-in-leadership Contact Anna to see how Emotional Intelligence training can help you boost your business-success! --- If I love someone and he loves me, my love is doubled. Then my joy is doubled. And my grief? This is halved! - Johan Heyns --------------- mcp -------------- "Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need it, but it doesn't make you a star. Emotional Intelligence can." - Warren Bennis, author of 'On Becoming a Leader' --- Judy Barad commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "I am Judy Barad, a philosophy professor at Indiana State University. In order to have a better understanding of my students, I need to understand more about emotional intelligence. Love and Peace " - ------------- mcp --------------- "Existential analysis has the character of doing violence, whether to the claims of the everyday interpretation, or to its complacency and its tranquilized obviousness." - Martin Heidegger - ------------- mcp --------------- "Leaders with higher EQ produce more powerful business results and greater profitability." - Emotional Intelligence of Leaders: A Profile of Top Executives. Steven Stein, Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 2009. Social and emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to be able to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships. ------------- mcp --------------- 80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performance are in the domain of EQ." - Daniel Goleman, 'Working with Emotional Intelligence' ------------- mcp --------------- "EQ is more than twice as predictive of business performance than purely cognitive intelligence." - Gerald Mount in 'The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Developing International Business Capacity, 2006 Self Others Awareness Self-Awareness Other Awareness Management Self-Management Relationship Management Self-Awareness Emotional Self Awareness Accurate Self Assessment Personal Power Other Awareness Empathy Situational / Organizational Awareness Service Orientation Ability to see the Big Picture Self Management Behaviour Self Control Integrity Innovation and Creativity Initiative and Bias for Action Achievement and Drive Realistic optimism Resilience Stress Management Personal Agility Intentionality Relationship Management Interpersonal Effectiveness Communications Powerful influencing skills Conflict Management Inspirational Leadership Catalyzing Change Building Bonds Teamwork and Collaboration Coaching & Mentoring Others Building Trust ------------- mcp ------------ "We should take care not to make the intellect our god. It has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve." - Albert Einstein IQ can only Know. EQ can Be. Competencies are measurable and learnable Best learned thru coaching and training Grounded in science Proven ROI Core skill set Starts with Awareness ----------- mcp -------------- Name it to Tame it! Building Emotional Self-Awareness Anxious Energetic Manipulated Stressed Apathetic Enthusiastic Mean Strong Appreciative Envious Misunderstood Stubborn Apprehensive Exhilerated Motivated Stuck Name It Worksheet When I woke up this morning, I was feeling ________ and _________ and _________ As I was getting ready for the day, I was feeling _________ and _________ and _________. While I was commuting to work/school, I was feeling _________ and _________ When I first got to work/school, I was feeling _________ and _________ By mid-morning, I was feeling _________ and _________ At lunch-time, I was feeling _________ and _________ My Trigger list A worksheet for Behavioural Self Control Trigger What I feel in my body My Self Talk My Reaction (what I do) How I feel after I react Damage Done A Better Response How I'll Feel then EQ is about behaviours and behaviours can be changed! Environment Personality Behaviour Genetics Soft Skills count: In Business Productivity Retention of top performers Employee satisfaction and engagement Profitability In Life Healthier Live Longer Enjoy more statisfying relationships Have larger, deeper, and more fulfilling social networks D-R Business Case for EQ Slideshow, see slides 20-27 People with positive emotions Have lower disease risk Fewer symptoms and less pain Live longer Earn more, about 33% more Have more satisfying relationships Enjoy more satisfying social networks, a key factor in longevity Better Decision-making More Flexible thought processes Improved Memory More creative and innovative problem-solving Improved performance and achievement --- 10:09 FB-NDG Check-in time again! I'm doing well, still feeling grounded. Also sad that I've let myself get bigger than ever before. I'd like to blame it on the gym closing (it's re-opening in a month, yay!!), but there's more to it than that. When it gets bad enuf, I'll do something about it, I guess. How'z you? Please share. --- 2.27 06:55 Wed. sit ups and (a few) push ups good job. --- Sometimes, we gotta go for/toward/into the painful F's, esp from our past. Like working out at the gym, we go there to go Toward the pain, for awhile, to work out the positive muscles. bec. we know it's good for us. like love, and joy, and emotional freedom >> set it up like a gym, with a monthly membership come use it as much as you want, whenever you want/need we'll staff. like at the gym, if all the machines are full, you gotta wait a minute while you're waiting, D-R >>Traige area assessments, question, steps, see videos on how, where, by subject feeling Depressed? here's what you can do (CHOICES) show them Choices. they/we have no idea how many CHOICES we have on dealing with our F's and E's, and esp. T's. to effect our B's wanna succeed? Join a emotional gym >> maybe we can team up with some real gyms. how about adding emotional workouts to physical workouts? there are already gyms, staffed, all over the country. and they'd have punching bags, and pads, and maybe even bats. yep! yep people pay a small monthly fee to join you get one on one coaching, for a bit, paid later (fitness coach / wellness coach) I don't think people totally flip out. the worst I've seen in 25 years is that they weren't done. but they needed to 'let go' for a while... usually a very short while. we brought/carried a lady to the hospital, nearly catatonic in her grief. they put her on 72-hour hold. she was out in 24... thanking us. I think they go back and open up theirpain, they vault, and dig around, and all the deamons come out. and they can feel vindictive, after awhile. --- 07:18 Tom Turrell Hey Dude, I gotta question for you... I realize this may be bad timing after having just been thru a divorce... but do you feel that the emotional training you took years ago helped you along the way? Just interested. thx. --- It Actually Is Better (and Healthier) to Give Than to Receive, Study Finds http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130204184300.htm#.USrkvjKtH10.facebook Feb. 4, 2013 — A five-year study by researchers at three universities has established that providing tangible assistance to others protects our health and lengthens our lives Wow! I've thought/taught this for years, but I've never seen it shown in real Numbers. How very, very cool. Thanks, Anam?...yes, EQ(most definitely)Rocks! --------- mcp ------------ D-R Over the five years of the study, we found that when dealing with stressful situations, those who had helped others during the previous year were less likely to die than those who had not helped others," he says. Self-reported stressful experiences included such things as serious, non-life-threating illness, burglary, job loss, financial difficulties or death of a family member. --- 07:59 sink shower Satisfaction go made it easily, but no sellout talked to Nick very good writing - 2GetHelpWorkshop.com is UP and BEAUTIFUL(!) yay Sliloh! $100? --- , post on FB family re: I was gonna go skiing with Sarah B. and Josh, but it didn't work out... doing Eucs this weekend... anyone need some extra cash? big orders at the first of the month (3 5's, plus the UK one) --- PP = 2941 -107 BlueHost (888) 401-4678 --- 40% of subscribers now view their emails on a mobile device(!) --- The HEDIS specs list EVERY drug for each of many Dxs(!) ex: if you want to see ALL the drugs available for Schizophrenia, see SAA for Depression, see AMM Table AMM-C: Antidepressant Medications Miscellaneous antidepressants • Bupropion • Vilazodone Monoamine oxidase inhibitors • Isocarboxazid • Phenelzine • Selegiline • Tranylcypromine Phenylpiperazine antidepressants • Nefazodone • Trazodone Psychotherapeutic combinations • Amitriptyline-chlordiazepoxide • Amitriptyline-perphenazine • Fluoxetine-olanzapine SSNRI antidepressants • Desvenlafaxine • Duloxetine • Venlafaxine SSRI antidepressants • Citalopram • Escitalopram • Fluoxetine • Fluvoxamine • Paroxetine • Sertraline Tetracyclic antidepressants • Maprotiline • Mirtazapine Tricyclic antidepressants • Amitriptyline • Amoxapine • Clomipramine • Desipramine • Doxepin • Imipramine • Nortriptyline • Protriptyline • Trimipramine - Table ADD-A: ADHD Medications CNS stimulants • Amphetamine-dextroamphetamine • Dexmethylphenidate • Dextroamphetamine • Lisdexamfetamine • Methamphetamine • Methylphenidate Alpha-2 receptor agonists • Clonidine • Guanfacine Miscellaneous ADHD medications • Atomoxetine - Depression http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder Zoloft (sertraline) is used primarily to treat major depression in adult outpatients. In 2007, it was the most prescribed antidepressant on the U.S. retail market, with 29,652,000 prescriptions.[172] - Epidemiology of depression Age-standardised disability-adjusted life year (DALY) rates of unipolar depressive disorders by country (per 100,000 inhabitants) in 2004.[243]Depression is a major cause of morbidity worldwide.[244] It is believed to currently affect approximately 298 million people as of 2010 (4.3% of the global population).[245] Lifetime prevalence varies widely, from 3% in Japan to 17% in the US.[246] In most countries the number of people who have depression during their lives falls within an 8–12% range.[246] In North America the probability of having a major depressive episode within a year-long period is 3–5% for males and 8–10% for females.[247][248] Population studies have consistently shown major depression to be about twice as common in women as in men, although it is unclear why this is so, and whether factors unaccounted for are contributing to this.[249] --- MFF Melissa, Arlene, Ann Hi Matt, When can we get the member labels? We absolutely need to get this mailing out no later than Monday! Time is of the absolute essence. Can you help us out? We already have the members labels. Now we need everybody else (but not the sponsors). Please let me know at your earliest convenience. Thanks Much Melissa - 3:31 Hi. As we discussed, Melissa, I have compiled over 25 lists that need to be combined for a complete list of all the emails and street addresses we have accumulated over the last few years. Just making a combined list isn't that hard, but I believe it's essential that we also designate what "type" of contact each person is, i.e. - donor, sponsor, member, volunteer, etc. which complicates the final result in a one-to-many relationship. That way, we can also select the non-donors, as well. You had mentioned that you were meeting with Randy and would ask him for his help. If I/we cannot get some help with this task this weekend, I guess I'll do it myself... est. 5-6 hours. Please advise. - Matt Database Folder https://drive.google.com/?authuser=0#folders/0B79AhbywMl1fMDJ4ZXhKQk1RQU9iOVlTTk05aEpzUQ - Matt, I thought we were talking long term. For the short term we need to get the member mailing out in whatever form it comes. I agree with you on all counts but this mailing has to happen now in its imperfect state. So if you need to print out labels from each list for now then do that. As for the time it takes I can't really speak to that. I just helped with the mailing of the first part of the mailing as did Alex. I don't know what each of you agree to when you agree to take on certain areas on the board. Best! Melissa - The 25 lists contain every contact we've ever made... so which ones contain "members"? We did the list of 171 from Donor Tools (folks who gave us money), so what other lists might contain 'members'? - Matt - If we're only looking for folks with street addresses, who are not on the donor list, that's gonna reduce the list significantly! --- Hi Juli-Ann, I received your order for fresh Euc Branches-- thanks!! This will be largest order I've sent overseas, but I'm up for giving it a try. Did you want leaves on the branches, or cleaned off? Any other special requests/instructions? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- LBL I'll call you on Friday, Mary. I can call from here (at work), but I can't be on the computer at the same time. When's a good time Friday? - Matt - She's off Friday. How about 0730 Thursday morning? okay >> 07:30 Thursday call Mary LBL --- Elizabeth MCTV, 3pm Friday Cool! Will I be working with Mateo? Yes. Thanks. See you then. - Matt --- you're not 'crazy', but you let your emotions run wild with me, esp. the negative ones... and you seem totally Ok with that. I'm not. Please stop 'emoting' all over me (at least TRY to stop)! --- >> reduce the size of pics on my phone I mailed back my old phone today to Verizon without copying over the old text messages. oh well, too late now. Rachel and Scotto: Hey, Good news... we now have unlimited Talk and Text, so chat away! PR: cool cool, thanks. me: one less thing... :) added additional albums from old phone to IMS laptop, and now to new phone --- >> EAP? 877-419-7659 What Services are Available? Telephone Consultations: EAP provides 24 hour, 7 day a week toll free telephone access to licensed mental health professionals for consultation, information, assistance and resources for a variety of concerns. Face - to - Face Counseling Visits: EAP provides you and eligible family members with access to professional mental health providers near your work or home to assist with many concerns. Please call EAP at 877-419-1659 and our consultants will assist you and family members with accessing services. --- 6 out --- stuff 7-8 ND Support Group just Michele, but it was excellent! she's fun, and in super-learning mode, and so entralled with it all. we changed one of her biggest pics in just a few minutes damn. oh, and Tom Turrell said THANKS for teaching him! subway back to CCC --- 09:13 --- snooze a minute or two 10:06 LI-EIN There is now overwhelming evidence highlighting how effective, and efficient, EQ training can be in a number of diverse areas of life -- in business, in sales, on teams, in society, in school, between friends and family, and best of all, individually, deep inside each one of us.. Please let's spread the good news about EQ. We have choices. We, here, are on the cusp of a wave that's gonna wash over the world, now that people are realizing the significance of right-brain, soft-side training and exposure. --- 2.28 05:41 FB-EIN Hey Joshua?, I'm sure you've noticed that, before EQ training, Americans aren't brought up with very high EQ... who, in your world travels, does? What country/area have you found people who were brought up with EQ, and practice it as part of their culture? (We need role models!). thx. --- LI-EIN 26/17 Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. - Katherine Mansfield (1888 - 1923) the goodness in your life does not come to you from someone else. When you see this, you will be free. “Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.” – H. Stanley Judd - Harvey Deutschendorf commented on What do you think about Emotional Intelligence and how it relates to our world today? "Where I come from a school (Grades 1-5) has a program called "Fill Your Bucket" based on Stephen Covey's principles. Children are told ... "more… "Where I come from a school (Grades 1-5) has a program called "Fill Your Bucket" based on Stephen Covey's principles. Children are told that in order to fill their own buckets ,they first need to fill the bucket of others. Everyone has a bucket, their parents, friends, teacher's bus driver, custodian, etc. They cannot fill their bucket by taking away from someone else's bucket. It is part of the regular cirriculum and they regularly talk about how they filled someone else's bucket. It teaches children to think about the needs of others and develop empathy. I have done quite a few talks at teachers's conventions and to groups of educators and have discovered there are an increasing number of educations systems around the globe are beginning to teach EI. I believe this is a very positive sign and bodes well for our future as a species. --- Anthem new user reg m@2gh / 2gh --- Hi. Thanks for the list. However, these counselors are all in Willits, which is an hour drive from my home. Could I have another list of counselors IN San Francisco near my work (near Market and Sutter). Thanks much! - Matt (916) 599-8597 --- Originally sent by bh360afterhours@anthem.com on Feb 27, 2013 6:40 PM --- Dear Matt : Below is the list you requested of EAP counselors in your area. When calling the counselor, please tell them that you are scheduling an appointment using your EAP benefit through Anthem EAP, which is a company of Wellpoint. You have 5 EAP sessions available but you may want to see if the counselor also accepts your insurance, in case you want to continue beyond your EAP benefit. Once you have scheduled an appointment, please reply to this email and complete the form below. You may call instead of e-mailing - the number is 1-866-621-0554. If you do not send this information or call, there is a risk that you will be billed for the appointment. PLEASE NOTE: This email box is for provider/appointment verification only and is not for discussing clinical information or initiating new services. If you have any difficulty scheduling or if there is anything else that you need, please call 1-866-621-0554. If you are experiencing an emergency, please dial 911 or proceed to your nearest emergency room. Please provide the following reference number to the provider when you schedule your appointment: Y13-8339 MELINDA CLARKE, MFT (707) 459-3780 104 W MENDOCINO AVENUE WILLITS , CA 95490 LAEL FRASER, MFT (707) 468-1100 152 S MAIN STREET A WILLITS , CA 95490 MARY DELANEY, LCSW (707) 456-0517 152 S. MAIN STREET E WILLITS , CA 95490 RICHARD DIPMAN, LCSW (707) 459-3816 716 S MAIN ST D WILLITS , CA 95490 Please reply with the following appointment information completed Your Name: DOB: Name of EAP Provider: First Appointment Date: Was an appointment offered to you within a reasonable amount of time? Thank You, Employee Assistance Program www.anthemeap.com web login: IMS --- 06:33 LF Seminar Group "HGlpo" , "Charleslec" , "DonSest" , "MZlpo" , "RNlpo" , "judy golden" Hi gang, Thanks for handling our contact info Judy and Don! Well, it's been very enlightening to see the (many) areas where I am NOT being cause in the effect in my life! Painful, yet enlightening. In some areas, I'm conscious, and I 'choose' to be/act/show up predicably (like at work)... but in many others, it's more outta habit and unconscious. Once I notice, it's hard to keep from beating myself up, but I'm catching myself faster. I want to be At Choice more often and in more ways. So how'z it going for you? (reply all) - Matt --- I time-stamp to record, to 'complain'/brag(g), and to remember or I would be totally lost in time Martin Seligman calls it Flow when you're in Flow, time stops, and you are there in your hobby/work/environment. my experience is not that time stops... it SCREAMS by like I cannot believe!!! I am a Very fast typer, and I go and go and go... and it continues. and time... oh my. definitely my biggest foe. --------------- mcp --------------------- Some girls don't like boys like me, but some girls do. - Sawyer Brown just 'cause you don't like me, doesn't make me bad/wrong/unlovable. --- Hi gang, Thanks for handling our contact info Judy and Don! "HGlpo" , "Charleslec" , "DonSest" , "MZlpo" , "RNlpo" , "judy golden" Living Powerfully Seminar Members Feb 25 – June 3 Don Schmal – group leader – dvsib212@comcast.net Charles Smith – lorencls@comcast.net, Hannah Greinetz – hgreinetz@gmail.com Matt Perelstein – matt@2gethelp.com Rebekah Negro – beckahl@att.net Michael Zinke – shaftermike@gmail.com Judy Golden – rrng8@earthlink.net Mira Hunter does not use email - 925 878 9541 Well, it's been very enlightening to see the (many) areas where I am NOT being cause in the effect in my life! Painful, yet enlightening. In some areas, I'm conscious, and I 'choose' to be/act/show up predicably (like at work)... but in many others, it's more outta habit and unconscious. Once I notice, it's hard to keep from beating myself up, but I'm catching myself faster. I want to be At Choice more often and in more ways. So how'z it going for you? (reply all) - Matt Hey, we need a Team Name! throw out some ideas... there are no bad ones ummm. LF LP SS Living Powerfully btw, I have a slightly dif. perspective here because I'm not only taking the Landmark classes for personal gain (got tons to learn), I'm also watching how they teach. We call it Emotional Intelligence (EQ, right-brain, heard of it?) vs. Intellectual Intelligence (IQ, left-brain). Landmark is the biggest (as far as I know), and the oldest, and I am LOVING all the new concepts they have about attitudes and belief systems. It doesn't MATTER what happened, it only matters what we THINK/Feel about what happened -- that was a life-changer for me, and I now teach that (to most everyone I meet, nowadays!). And the Knowing (left-brain) vs. Being (right-brain) idea is also awesome. I'm trying to figure out how this all works... would love your help/ideas! I say IQ + EQ = LOL !! ...and I was hesitant to say EQ > IQ ... but the more deeply I get into EQ... I don't know... Anyway, it's about Balance, and Power I learned IQ my whole life, in grade school, at home, in high school, and college... cool. thanks. But what about the whole OTHER side of my brain... I need that too... maybe More! a. I know IQ, we don't know EQ. b. So let's focus on the EQ... and learn! c. The results will undoubtedly be the most profound thing you've ever done in your life. (because meaning is in both the steps AND the goal!) d. We can't do much about improving our IQ (as far as I know). e. We can learn GOBS about EQ -- quickly, simply, naturally, freely, and permanently. We can Dramatically Increase our EQ in a VERY short time, using VERY few resources, at VERY low cost (if any)! We can Take Control of our Own life experience. We can learn to choose. We can learn to Live a more satisfying life, We can here's the thing... remember that thing about how I like me better when I'm around you... no. I don't like me AT ALL when I'm around you. I don't like how you choose to act toward me, and I especially don't like the way I react, and let myself get pulled into the drama. And that's all most of it is... I've done a few bad things... but the rest, the hundreds of times you have exploded and berated me, and called me names, and used that horrible disgusted, holier-than-thou, evil energy on me, were drama... pure and simple. very little logic, gobs and gobs of emotion -- all negative, generalized, blown outta proportion, and not fun to be around -- at all. --- subdivision Rachel, 6 acres Scott, 2 acres Tracy, 2 acres ?, 3 acres above --- 510-486-4522 FREE Not Terminated FY12 LBL Hi Bill, Would you help us with the building of the FY12 tables in PAD, please? to initially create the Current tables (Employees and Accounts), I expected to be able to just to make a copy of the Current tables, then remove FY13 from the FY12 table, and remove the FY12 data from the FY13 table (current). However, the only date in either of the two tables is the Date Last Changed (in Employees), which doesn't really help us differentiate which FY each record belongs to... only the last date the record was changed. How did you manage this before? Mary and I reviewed the Budget Analyst reports this morning, and they (now) seem to be pulling data from the proper tables (and they reports are titled correctly), so I copied the Tester over to production... however I'm still not sure the correct data is in the FY11FY12/Current tables. HELP! Thanks much. - Matt --- >> bring Lumanation CD to Nick on 08:20 ferry --- IMS EAP Services: Emotional and mental health well-being Maintaining a healthy life style Successful communication Alcohol and drug abuse Relationship issues Legal concerns Financial concerns Dependent adult care Childcare needs Everyday concerns and resources --- Courses at IMS http://arc.imshealth.com/gm/folder-1.11.1508395 Building Resiliency 101 9am March 19, webex or 11am (registered for session 2, also, by accident) on scheduler --- "Re-Humanize Yourself" - Sting PayDay! PP = 2888 -41 refund -34 SR Democrat --- D-R ---------- mcp --------- We are a pro-left-brain, anti-left-brain society! --- Clipper -40 this morning for new card -50 they finally ran my card --- >> bring/get glasses to work --- 1-1:45 spinach salad, again, from Lee's Deli on Market sit in the sun on corner on the steps listen to tunes and watch the people go by and the street musicians very nice! --- Tell him. Hold him close to feel his heartbeat. Love will be the gift yourself. Touch him, with the gentleness you feel inside. Your love can't be denied. The truth will set you free. - Barbra Streisand, "Tell Him", Duets --- pretty vs. sexy... quite different --- >> get $100 cash on the way out --- I think, therefore I am --- What i mean Tommy is that I travelled all my life non-stop all over the world and i have really not seen any country or culture that express, honor and consciously use the energy and message coded within emotions in an intelligent way if if it was part of the spiritual heritage. Most cultures around the world are male oriented/dominant and emotions are never respected in such environments. It is true that it is an innate human ability but rarely has this ability been used. - Ayman --- 5:30 out! to SR to answer a few emails then home! this weekend, lbl FY12, mff labels --- 6:56, SR packin' but got lots of windows open... here goes laptop is super slow this week From Blame to Acclaim http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/02/25/from-blame-to-acclaim 4 Reasons Rejection Shouldn't be Taken Personally http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2013/02/25/4-reasons-rejection-shouldnt-be-taken-personally/ 5 Unexpected Health Benefits of Yoga http://www.oprah.com/health/How-Yoga-Can-Treat-Serious-Medical-Conditions Linking Emotional Intelligence to Neuroscience http://neurocapability.wordpress.com/2013/02/26/linking-emotional-intelligence-to-neuroscience/ 7 Teensy Health Habits that can Make a Huge Difference http://www.oprah.com/health/Small-Health-Habits-That-Make-a-Big-Difference Does your job require that you hide your feelings? http://www.eurofound.europa.eu/surveys/smt/ewcs/ewcs2010_06_06.htm ALL jobs require that we hide our feelings, pretty often! All society requires that we hide our feelings, all day every day. we cannot get along with others, if we emoted everything we felt. we sure wouldn't get much done! How to get your ideas heard http://askten.co.uk/resources/tips/how-get-your-ideas-heard What is Emotional Intelligence? (!) scoop.id'd (maybe twice) Racquetball Lessons Blog, from Robin http://racquetball-lessons.com/topics/more-resources/ ROI of Social + Emotional Intelligence in Leadership (!) http://www.slideshare.net/jdjarrell/roi-of-emotional-intelligence-in-leadership Top 5 Funny Videos http://www.slideshare.net/jdjarrell/roi-of-emotional-intelligence-in-leadership >> show Sliloh this site for an example for MattPerelstein.com Blog for Compassion http://blogforcompassion.blogspot.com ? (signed up for their newsletter, so we'll see) http://www.pointsoflight.org/ volunteers for non-profits, I think that's enuf... IE is sooo slow, I'm done waiting. band camp is happenin'... well, the guitar boys, anyhowz. 7:27 off to Costco to refill my ink cartridge and get some chicken all packed. go. wait, it's not IE, it's the whole laptop I want to approve the newbies on LI-EIN, first 18/25 --- Are We Becoming "Nicer?" "Niceness" is on the rise. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201302/are-we-becoming-nicer in a competitive age that sometimes takes a “nice guys finish last” approach to business, a quiet cultural change appears to be underway. ‘Nice’ and ‘kind’ are becoming operative philosophies in some companies…these adjectives are also showing up in the titles of books and organizations.” A stark contrast to the language of business in the past several decades, full of words and images of war, conflict and games. Your Brain Is Hooked on Being Right http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/02/break_your_addiction_to_being.html?utm_medium=linkedin&utm_campaign=Biz+101&utm_source=twitterfeed what is a trial separation? how to get divorced? how to get separated? http://safianmediation.com/what-is-a-trial-separation/ --- ok, now it's 7:39 so get outta here, already! costco sharon nappage am/pm willits home warm welcome from triple doggies! --- 03:47 IQ + EQ!!!!!! = LOL !! (big, colorful EQ) tell the ND brochure guy to make a big deal about the EQ It's an emotional bootcamp workshop, intensive de-mystify your feelings and emotions emotions WANT to come out of our body... we just gotta get outta the way and LET THEM come out! our body does NOT want to hang on to the big negative feelings, anywayz. --- I encourage you to stop playing ''my life would be perfect if,'' and start playing ''my perfect life.'' What's the difference? Three things: being in the present, an attitude of gratitude, taking action with what's available now. - Betty Mahalik The only way to be absolutely safe is never to try anything for the first time. - Magnus Pike (1908 - ) - God's light shines through you when your light shines on another. - “Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” – Audrey Hepburn --- 04:24 LI-EIN to Josh yeah, he's an interesting one... I've been watching him since he and Catherine Puglisi have been going at in that thread about Truth -- which is kinda off-subject, but it has 443 comments, and I subscribe to it, so I've been keeping a close eye on it (it's a left-brainer's delight... all cognitive theory, zero emotion content except to say how aghast they are at another person's cognitive viewpoint). Actually, Dr. V has brought it back on-subject a few times when it's strayed, and he's been more respectful then some. In fact, I wrote to Catherine to remind her not to make personal attacks, and she's complied gratiously (unlike the 2 before her, who both went screaming from the group!). Also, he's not been pushing his wares any more than others, so I'm ok with him for now. He can be kinda arrogant, but he doesn't seem to be hurting anyone so far. Let me know if you hear anything else negative about him. There's a post on the FB-EIN where I asked you a question... would you respond there, please? Oh, and Hi, btw! (you guys have a lot of great stuff happenin'... keep me in mind for opportunities I might be able to help with). - Matt --- Nice site(!) Make success a habit. http://www.changedesigns.net/public/me/me.html#tabs-1 Focus + Discipline + Support = Success! Stop: Blaming, making excuses and complaining. Start: Focusing on what you CAN do, each day - Ruth Tearle - Trevor Griffiths • Build relationships while you can, coz ther're all you have left when you can't! Ray Mathis • It's our choice how we feel "Life is mind-made" Dr. Chris Eisenbarth "It's (all) just an event - It's your choice how you want to feel" Response-ability = ability to respond (cognitively, emotionally, behaviorally to life in the best possible way, instead of react) Thoughts cause feelings, not events No one upsets us, we upset ourselves --- on 4th poop, already (yay!) bravest things I do... 1. Drive 2. Stick my naked butt in our outhouse hole, at night --- 05:08 a. CONGRATS! Best of luck with the whole move/adventure! Let us know how what kinda support you need. (does anyone know besides me? are you gonna announce it?) b. Bummer about the graphics... kinda bizarre. Maybe the PDF -> DOC converter I used does strange things with the graphics. Good job finding a work-around. c. We're just putting on my smashwords to test it... you mentioned that's the only way you can see if it works/looks right, right? As soon as it's 'good', we'll switch it to Doc's account. How about $3.99 for now (what do you think is fair/a good price?) d. THANKS again for doing this... Yes, a discount on your next review is a good trade off! Rock on. Let me know how the Sac trip goes. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EBook Conversion From: Erika Date: Thu, February 28, 2013 9:04 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt! So the job is official. I'm starting on May 1st so I have the next two months to find an apartment and move. My last day at my current job is April 26. Class in Sacramento would be great, though of course we'll still come to Fresno. Part of the formatting is taking longer than expected. I knew I was going to have to replace all of the Word charts with images. Creating the images has been just as smooth as I thought it would be, but deleting the old charts has been a bit of an adventure. Most of the time if I just delete the whole chart at once it results in completely wonky formatting for the rest of the document (like three super narrow columns for all the text! Undo is my friend!). So I'm having to delete the charts piece by piece to preserve the formatting of the text. Anyway, it's not difficult but it is taking a while. That means it won't be done this week (I'm going to Sacramento this weekend to look at apartments). I'm sorry about the delay, I never expected deleting stuff to be so problematic. :( As soon as I upload the file to Smashwords it will be live. What price do you want to sell it for? And if it's under your account won't it also be under your name, instead of Doc's? As payment I will happily accept a discount on my next time through as a student. :) Hope you're doing great! ~Erika~ --- FB-EIN https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=470300729685226 Excellent, thanks Dexter! I'm always looking for positive models for love and connection (we've got plenty of negative models). Turn up your speakers and enjoy the nice feeling. --- nappage (here in my chair) --- 06:53 Hi! I was supposed to go snow-boarding this weekend with Josh? and Sarah? B., but not enough girls signed up, so only Josh got to go. Anyone want to make earn some bucks by helping with Eucs this Sunday? --- Yes you can, Angela. Either I can refund the payments each month until you tell me to stop, or you can cancel the subscription (via your PayPal account), and then re-subscribe when you're ready. Which would you prefer? I hope all is well for you and yours. - Matt, can I stop this for a few months? Just email you again when I want to start it back up? Angela M. Bammel *Don't go broke trying to look rich...act your wage* --- ND Staff Michele to do all printing: - Binder covers - Binder pages - Rosters - Diplomas >> send email to all --- 10:31 (REFUND March & April!) --- LI-EIN Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi. I am an educational consultant that works with schools and families on integrating social and emotional skill development into the academic curriculum and into home life. I have a blog entitled Confident Parents, Confident Kids, http://confidentparentsconfidentkids.org that offers simple strategies for parents to teach social and emotional skills at home. I do coaching, professional development, writing and presenting in Ohio and nationally. I was interested to learn from this group about emotional intelligence practices in a variety of organizational settings since I do a lot of translation of research into practice. Thanks for the opportunity to participate in so many important discussions! By Jennifer Miller --- how to defuse your Anger? Joan: I look at feelings from a psychoevolutionary perspective. In other words, there are 5 basic emotions that humans seem to have had since we lived in caves. The five basic emotions are mad (anger), sad, glad (happy), fear and disgust. Paul Ekman has found and photographed these emotions in human infants, kids and adults across the globe in advanced and primitive cultures and in subhuman species. These emotions are “hardwired” in us. The primary job (among many others) of our brain is to insure our survival. Consequently, our senses are always scanning our surroundings for anything that could harm us. We don’t have sharp teeth or claws or innate instincts. We have our brains and our emotions. When I use the term “threat”, I am referring to any situation which is perceived to be potentially harmful. While for Mr. Caveman all threats and the harm they contained were clear and unambiguous in that a threat implied death, the threats and perceived harm we face today are often ambiguous, involve issues such as values including what is right and what is wrong, self-esteem, goals, relationships, finances, and so forth. Because our threats are perceive through our own set of filters, they are often personalized and follow from our interpretation of the situation, an event, someone’s actions or comments etc, the possibility of misinterpretation is always present. We have different threats with more ambiguity but the same primitive emotions. You and I perceive cruelty to animals as a threat to our sense of right and wrong. Someone else might disagree. I am not arguing here for moral relativism where thinking so makes it so. Rather, I am saying that different values lead to different perceptions. Each emotion communicates to us how we perceive threat or potential harm. Most of us REACT to this communication (and regret it later). Some of us learn to make a choice about how we will RESPOND to the message. Anxiety communicates that there MAY be a threat that MIGHT harm me. It is a future based emotion. Anxiety is what drives my students to study for exams. Disgust communicates a threat that there is something (typically food, but can be generalized) we need to avoid as it is poisonous or otherwise unhealthy. Fear (not the same as anxiety) is the hair on the back of the neck experience which communicates that we are in a situation we need to escape from now! It is a here and now emotion. We are “prepared” to flee or freeze. This is the feeling you get when you are alone in a dimly lit parking lot and hear noises or when you enter an elevator and sense there is something wrong with but cannot explain your reaction to the guy standing there who looks to be fine. Anger communicates that we believe we have the power to eliminate the threat/harm. Consequently, adrenalin prepares us for action. You can see that each emotion communicates a different perception of threat/harm and prepares the body to deal with the threat differentially based on the nature of the threat. I realize this is a long message and I hope I have answered your question about the nature and perception of threat and the relationship between threat and our emotions. Ed Daube, Ph.D. The Emotions Doctor Emotions as Tools A Self Help Guide to Controlling Your Life not Your Feelings --- ND Testimonial Kelly Sallinen Exactly I love life it has flourished in the past few months. FB-NDG --- 11:54 I understand! It's your private list, and you can handle it however you feel is right for you. I'm afraid you're braver than I, because now that I think about it, I have done exactly the opposite, on a number of occasions... if someone complains, I stop doing what they complained about... and everything else, too. Sadly, I stopped sending out jokes years ago, and I had a heckuva list of old friends and co-workers for whom that was the only way I stayed in touch... now, no jokes, no friendship. I miss that/and them. In fact, I've had whole business ventures that I've stopped doing because someone complained... I just stopped... boom... and started something else. wow... what a victim, and what a wimp! thanks for bringing this up. I clearly need some work in this dept. Send or don't send to Sharon, but keep me on your list, please! Even if I don't agree, I can picture you getting all fired up while sending the email, and that makes me laugh... :) later tater. - matt btw, I think EQ Step 1 is Awareness, and EQ Step 2, immediately following, is Emotional Responsibility (ER)... where we come to believe that we, and no one else, are 100% totally in charge, and responsible for, our own Thoughts, Feelings and especially, our Behaviours. That's a brand new concept for many people... and it turns out to be a Huge commitment, and a life-changer... because embracing ER/EQ means no more blaming, no more playing powerless, and no more victim. whatchathink? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Must be doing well From: "Larry" Date: Fri, March 01, 2013 9:32 am To: The folks on my ‘send outs’ are those whom I can send anything to without concern of offending and having rebuttals/flame wars with about politics, religion, sexual overtones, weapons and that sorry-ass, worthless president. Therefore I will consider taking the time to ‘censor’ thru some of them and add Sharon to those so she can ‘get some emails’. While I would suspect some of my email pals don’t always appreciate some of the material sent, I don’t get crap from them about it and whom I suspect merely delete them. Those who did complain were immediately removed and therefore are not offended anymore by me. I too get forwarded emails from misguided folks who think that porch monkey is a great president but rather than complain/whine I just delete them and appreciate the ones they send that make me think or laugh or have pretty photos in them. As I recall, Sharon has expressed discomfort with some in the past nor interestingly enough, does she send me emails of any kind to be requesting any. I will give it some thought tho. Thanks, Larry From: matt@2gethelp.com [mailto:matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Friday, March 01, 2013 4:04 AM To: Larry Subject: RE: Must be doing well Hey slick... would you add Sharon to your list of send-outs, please. It means a lot to her to get emails from us. Ok? scn1616@att.net Thx. - matt --- 12:06 LI-EIN You are asked to hide your feelings at work, Zach Warum? A European survey by EUROFOUND shows that 47% of the French managers (high skilled etc) are asked to hide their feelings, much more than in UK 36%, Germany 31%, Italy 26, Sweden 21%...WHY on earth such a gap? Did you sense such a policy in your profesional experience? www.eurofound.europa.eu/surveys/smt/ewcs/ewcs2010_06_06.htm - Let's face it... we have ALL been asked to hide our feelings at work... every person, every job, every day! We cannot get anything done, nor survive in society or business, if we were to express or show every one of the feelings we feel all day long. To me, it's a matter of HOW we hide them, and whether we EVER let them out, that is the difference between healthy expression and shut-down/stuffed/unhealthy numbness and depression. mcp --- ,Paula 489-1428 --- Emotional Physical Therapy From Blame to Acclaim --- Top 5 Funny Videos “Outside of the physical universe – it’s all an interpretation – made real only in action or language”. ND Testimonial/mcp testimonial Now what you do for me, for instance, is to inspire and at times even motivate me to actually act. You’ve shared your own and others stories that show the success someone can have if they just do things your (ND’s) way. For that I’ll be forever grateful and be your lifetime friend. - Larry Hawks, via email --- , Gail Rayborn 937-2271 4 evening workshop next Thurs @ Safe Passages --- PP = 2913 +75 new Euc wholesaler --- ND Testimonial Nikki Wayne Thank you all for your love and support. Thank you for being my rock.. - FB-NDG --- 3.2 04:20 up espn, end of "Grease" :) paula up, sit with her and talk, pretty deeply 07:12 Michelle Pauls 2:52pm Mar 1 I am feeling really strong and comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I really know and trust myself. I am clear on what I want to work on. My mantra is Free to be me . --- Arlene, MFF Yes. I'm starting on them now. You'll have them this weekend. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: New Member Letter From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Fri, March 01, 2013 3:19 pm To: Matt Perelstein Is the renewal letter on the office computer? How are you doing on the rest of the labels? Thanks, Arlene --- 07:28 nope, sorry... if I find 'em, I'll let you know (and you do the same, please). Actually, I didn't even know there was an Office 2013, and I haven't even seen Win8 yet (I'm on toppa things, ey?... oh, and I AM a computer consultant, too... go figure). Feel free to pass on the Mad cow doc, if you want to (the date on the file is from 2003). I LOVE that laugh at the end (just listened to it again, and still smilin')! Hi to Linda. - me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Animals and folks plotting to ruin someone's day From: "Larry" Date: Fri, March 01, 2013 2:29 pm To: Now that’s funny! Let me ask you if you have access to MS Office Pro 2013 and Windows 8Pro? I hate to sign up to be a ‘student’ at the local college just to get the ‘student/faculty’ discount. Thanks, Larry From: matt@2gethelp.com [mailto:matt@2gethelp.com] Sent: Friday, March 01, 2013 1:33 PM To: Larry Subject: RE: Animals and folks plotting to ruin someone's day Speaking of Mad Cow disease... see attached! - Matt --- 07:31 Hey! Cool about you getting to do that for/with Aaron... hope he's happy! Here's the sign-ups for all 3 of your years, plus some of my stuff. http://newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm 10-12 left? wow. I still have 2 of your years going now... get 2 a day... and OFTEN copy the quote to store as a 'good one'! Michele Soplata Loves your quotes, too, and often reposts them. You're awesome. rock on. - da bro -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Sign Up Block From: Cheryl Nolan Date: Fri, March 01, 2013 7:13 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi bro, I hope you and Paula are fine. I just got back from the south island where I officiated at Aaron and Kym's "Commitment Ceremony". It was good to see him and to meet her and her children. The reason it was a commitment ceremony instead of a wedding is because his divorce to Leone isn't final yet. Here in NZ he could be charged with bigamy and do some jail time - hence the commitment ceremony. He will be coming back up here to try and wrest some time with Angus out of Leone - who controls all his talk and access to Angus. Okay - I think I only have about 10-12 quotes left to finish Perennial Positivity. I'm too tired to work on it right now, but I just remembered that I needed to ask you to make up a sign-up block for them. I hope you are still enjoying them! If you can let me know what it is when it's finished I would appreciate it. Love, as always... Cheryl --- LI-EIN Hi my name is Harvey Deutschendorf, author of The Other Kind Of Smart, Simple Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Personal Effectiveness and Success. I'm thrilled that the book has been published in Vietnamese, Arabic and soon in Chinese. My goal in writing the book was to make EI accessible to as many people as possible. In my first career as a social worker I had the opportunity to work in a palliative care unit with people that had little time left. I listened to stories of people who had lived their lives to the fullest and were at peace. Sadly I also had to listen to people who had lived other's lives and had regrets about not doing what they really wanted with their lives. The experience had a profound impact on me and I always bring that experience back whenever I find fear holding me back from doing what I really want to. In the mid 90's I picked up Daniel Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ and it changed my life. I saw the potential of EI and it explained to me in ways that everything else that I had read hadn't why my life was not going as well as I thought it should be. To make a long story short I threw myself into learning as much about EI as I could, took training to becoming certified to do the EQi and started to write and speak on the topic. It has become my life passion and work. As well I have done a lot of personal emotional work through a wonderful organzation called The Mankind Project. I am so grateful to be connected to such a dynamic, diverse group of people who I look forward to learning from and sharing with. As Charles Darwin said "When man learns to harness emotions we will be ready for the next evolutionary step" I am very excited about being part of a group that is leading the way towards this new world. By Harvey Deutschendorf - Hello, I am an IT Project Manager. I am interested in understanding EI and how to apply it in my daily worklife. In addition, I am also interested in teaching these skills to my 2 Austistic Teenagers so that they may become better equipped in their school and future lives as well. By Helen Caron - If, when you're thinking about what you want, you imagine the situations in which you'll need to remember it, you're more likely to succeed. - Colleen Siefert "The superior leader gets things done With very little motion. He imparts instruction not through many words But through a few deeds. He keeps informed about everything But interferes hardly at all. He is a catalyst, And though things wouldn't get done as well If he weren't there. When they succeed he takes no credit. And because he takes no credit Credit never leaves him." -- Lao Tzu [ Tao Te Ching = 6,000 BCE]. By Rajendra Grewal --- 07:35 LM Euc Testimonial My birds are loving the product……need to order more…..call me 630-244-6957 Gaye Schaul - Cool! I just left you a voice message, so tag, you're it! call me back at 707-962-9006 Yeehaa. - Matt - Rowdy, the greenwing, OMG he chews the leaves, and shreads the sticks he's finished everything he's had, I've never seen anyone so happy! I've never seen a bird so happy with sticks and leaves 14" branches, shoe box moonpie1998@comcast..net - Hi Gaye, nice chatting with you! Yes, the subscription is a much better deal for you... here's the link: http://eucproducts.com/subscription.html Order a 2-lb combo, and I'll know what you want. Change your order, or cancel, anytime. Sound good? So glad you and your feathered friends are enjoying your Eucs. Go Rowdy! - Matt --- PP = 3052 +1 sub -41 1SC -16 GoDaddy 3-5's to do --- 08:04 FB-EIN Woohoo -- we just reached a milestone of 1,900 members -- very cool! We have some of the most EQ-savy people on the planet here, from all over the world, and I'm so encouraged that EQ is growing like crazy now. At this point, the evidence is unquestionable that EQ is semi-magical, and it's many benefits, in so many areas of life, FAR exceed the costs! Yay us. EQRocks! --- @2GetHelp4Vets Relieve the symptoms of PTSD, in a safe environment. May 17-19 Fresno, CA #NewDirections, #PTSD http://www.2GetHelp4Veterans.com http://www.2GetHelp4Veterans.com = http://2gethelp.org/nd4vets/ http://2gethelpworkshop.com/ http://2gethelpworkshops.com/ both go to "Wordfence has limited your access to this site" --- From Blaim to Acclaim! MP3 tap starting with a crown, the top of your head tells body that work is beginning wakes up the left-brain right-brain controls karate chop on side of head associated with small intestine sadness, loss, worry, obsession, compulsiveness eyebrow - bladder fear, impatience side of eye - bladd rage, rather stomach anxiety, disgust, greed, disappoinment embarrassement, guilt, fear of failure chin, lower half shame and embarrassment collar bone craving, paranoia arm spleen realistic anxiety about future helplessness, low self-esteem under ribs anger, unhappiness, bitterness hand, thumbnail - base of nail of finger thumb - lung negative t's, intollerance index guit, grief, lack of initiative, unforgiveness middle circulation, regret, jeaulusy, blocked memories, unhappiness little finger - heart anger karate chop top of hand - knuckles depression, helplessness, loneliness think of a painful memory someone caused your a person, and you still feel it you still feelings when we have dishonored our own intuition tap on crown of head even tho' this person hurt me deeply good when you're UI you're not aware, feeling victimize victim, I need to be afraid, men are dangerous, I'm not safe anywhere then CI ok, I'm afraid, all men seem dangerous TO ME, I must have some feelings, that are driving a BS, that I need to deal with. waking up from your own myths and stories find that they have a basis, but maybe they don't apply to all situation maybe there's something I can do about it. thinking about add ER! not at fault, but you have some control and responsibility many things happen over and over if molested, will prob get raped what are you doing to get chosen? GOOD NEWS! once you realize that you have some BS that is continuing what's the use, it's just gonna happen again. it doesn't have to. work with BS, so you won't choose the same again. --- breakfast and chatting with paula kilbassa and taters and eggs, good (but I'll have consequences later) chat about whether she wants the manager job at PS or not. we'll see. --- 09:47 Sami, As this discussion demonstrates, there are no laws any where in the nation that regulates the practice of Anger Management. Therefore, anyone can claim to be knowledgeable in Anger Management. The Superior Court for California is the first to require that anyone who provides court ordered anger management must have a 40 hour Certification as an Anger Management Facilitator. Anger is not a listed illness in the DSM 4 or 5. Therefore, counselors and psychotherapists have no illness to treat. Anger is a norman human emotion which is a problem when it occurs too frequently, is too intense, lasts to long, leads to health problems, impacts work and personal relationships or leads to person directed violence. Certified Anger Management Facilitators first administer a Pre Test before providing any type of intervention. This Assessment is designed to determine the skills level in Emotional Intelligence. Following the Assessment, the results are discussed with the client. A workbook is provided and Emotional Intelligence Coaching is started. When the coaching is completed, a Post Test is given to determine the success or lack of success of the program. I doubt if those responding to your inquiry are really trained professionals in anger management. By George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CEAP --- 10:15 LF, or Landmark Education https://www.landmarkeducation.com/My_Account.aspx m@2gh / 2gh 3.2.2013 Current Programs Living Powerfully:Life that Defies the Predictable Feb 25, Mar 4, Mar 11, Apr 1, Apr 15, Apr 22, Apr 29, May 13, 20, Jun 3 2013 Web Media Feature 37 Slides, 35:00 This Session Recreation is part of Landmark Education's Seminar "Living Powerfully - A Life That Defies the Predictable." (c) Copyright 2010 by Landmark Education Email support: wmfsupport@landmarkeducation.net Kelly Townsend Seminar Design Team http://wmf.landmarkeducation.com/lpo/lpo_01/index.html?TTL=1362251246&Token=8a58eaa5e699e567c332a7eba4e9e618&returnURL=https://www.landmarkeducation.com/Launch_Media.aspx?prog=173 Defy: challenge a person to do something deemed impossible --- 10:29 Larry yup! I had a dif. prob in that 2010 only allows itself to be loaded on 3 computers... then it does Product Activation Failed... for awhile... then it locks up completely. so, yeah, I'll check w/my sis, who sent me the cracked apps. Oh, I've also seen Activation Codes advertised, and I forget which one I used (oh yeah, it was Adobe Photoshop) and it worked, permanently (and still does). certainly 2 smart dudes can find some way to around the 'system', ey? - Matt ER is first, right? dude, help me figure this stuff out and write it all down... there's sooo much to say, and, as you know, people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ! --- 10:52 Tom Turrell Cool! Very cool, indeed! Makes me most happy to know that it helped... it's sure helped me... which is big part of why I'm still doing it! But it's gotten much bigger now. D-R It's called Emotional Intelligence (EQ) (heard that term before?) and it's kinda like Magic in all the areas of life it can improve, and the minor fact that it's Totally 100% FREE, natural, organic, unlimited, inside of us at all times! It's about ADDing right-brain emotion and creativity to the left-brain knowledge and information (IQ) we learn in schools. Research has shown that EQ helps kids in schools, in business, sales, relationships, mental health, success, happiness, even physical problems and mortality, and, we're hoping the effect will continue enough to have an effect/affect on our big behaviour-based social problems (like suicide, addictions, violence, crime, mental health, even war). The first step is awareness, but I'm thinking that the very next step is about people taking Emotional Responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. ("No one has ever made us mad, or hurt our feelings, without our involvement."). I don't think most have ever considered/thought of/have any idea how much power and control we have over our own thots and feelings... and if we can take that leap, it's a life-changer... no more whining, blaming or playing the victim! right? Oh, and if you look at that list of social problems... they're almost ALL MEN (some women, too, but we guys Stink at handling our emotions properly/at all). Which is one of the reasons I'm Excited that you have felt more/better for 20+ years after doing this work for even a short while (when did you first take UYO / last time?). What did you learn/take with you, along the way?! (woohoo!) --- Awareness Responsibility Skills Environment Outreach --- Jane Nelsen Hi Matt, What fun to hear from you. I want to be friends. I hope I did it right to accept. I still don't do well with technology. Also, I hope you will check out www.facebook.com/positivediscipline - 11:04 Boom, I went to your page and Liked it immediately, Jane! Nicely done, and it's cool that you're still teaching... the same concepts... 'cause they STILL work!! We're now calling it Emotional Intelligence (EQ) (heard that term?), and talking about how we learn left-brain knowledge and information (IQ) in schools, but we do NOT learn how to deal with our entire right-brain emotional/creative/loving side (EQ). This it's causing LOTS of behaviour-based social problems... like suicide, addictions, violence, mental health, crime, even war... all because we are clueless about how to deal with our feelings and emotions (... especially men!). I noticed you're still friends with Kath... anyone else from UYO days? I just re-connected with Debbie Rasmussen's ex, Tom Turrell... did you know him? Are you teaching/travelling/writing, these days, or whatcha UpTo? How are your 150 kiddos doing?!? :) --- ND Testimonial Jennifer Stutzman I have had many feelings over the years about this illness, but luckily, I have great coping skills to deal with them. the lessons I have learned, the strength and empathy for others I have gained - that makes it all worth it and I wouldn't undo it if I had the choice. I think I am a better person after these struggles than before. That is priceless to me. It has been really challenging. I will feel okay for a day or a few days, then crash again and be housebound and miserably sick. I haven't felt good since January. I have been dealing with this for so long, so I have already processed a lot of the anger, sadness, grief. It flares up, but the great thing is, I have had minimal depression, which I think is a testimony to my EQ. --- ND Brochure and D-R Resiliency! EQ training teaches Resiliency --- wheels for wishes Yael Stark, Skype providers donating an hour of their time to clients, for completing a survey. it's cool that the EIN group on FB has 1,900 in it... but it's even cooler that our EIN group on LinkedIn has almost 45,000 in it! --- Hi Elizabeth, Thanks for setting up the edit meeting with Mateo -- he's amazingly good! We spent 3 hours (3:15-6:15) non-stop, and he made it even better than I had hoped (including get rid of my stammering and umm's). He still needs to add the graphic to the front of the desk that we sat at... the lower third, he called it. And, would you forward to him these slides, please... - a quote that Paula says, in the middle, about a minute after the 7 worksheets - the Contact Us slide that should go at the very end. Thanks! Excited to see the finished result. (send me an invoice). - Matt --- to house to see PR (sewing) and watch some Rugby and then to Safeway stroganoff mushrooms, egg noodles, etc. saw Diane and __, he had 4M parts of HepC, then 150, now 0! --- LD Products, ink order 888.321.2552 M - F 5am - 7pm PST Sat-Sun 7am - 4pm PST Your order #10559374 has been processed. Please see the order shipping details below. - Your purchase order is #10559374 - Your customer #33367730 - Order Date 02/07/2013 https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction?qtc_tLabels1=9400110201019007470565 YOUR LABEL NUMBER SERVICE STATUS OF YOUR ITEM DATE & TIME LOCATION FEATURES 9400110201019007470565 First-Class Mail® ** Delivered ** February 12, 2013, 10:46 am SAN RAFAEL, CA 94903 USPS Tracking / Delivery Confirmation™ Notice Left (Business Closed) February 11, 2013, 10:38 am SAN RAFAEL, CA 94903 Out for Delivery February 11, 2013, 9:17 am SAN RAFAEL, CA 94901 Sorting Complete February 11, 2013, 9:07 am SAN RAFAEL, CA 94901 Arrival at Post Office February 11, 2013, 5:01 am SAN RAFAEL, CA 94901 Electronic Shipping Info Received February 10, 2013 Depart USPS Sort Facility February 10, 2013 RICHMOND, CA 94804 Processed through USPS Sort Facility February 09, 2013, 7:28 pm RICHMOND, CA 94804 Depart USPS Sort Facility February 09, 2013 LONG BEACH, CA 90809 Processed at USPS Origin Sort Facility February 08, 2013, 6:44 pm LONG BEACH, CA 90809 Accepted at USPS Origin Sort Facility February 08, 2013, 5:29 pm LONG BEACH, CA 90808 Hi. I never received this order... can you help? Thanks! - Matt --- 4:11 Jennifer Stutzman May 17 -- Fresno -- be there! :) Just kidding... but I do hope you feel better and I hope you can make it! take care... --- ND Testimonial Helped hugely...was just composing a thank you note to you all in my head this morning,. - Cathleen Moore Grant --- 4:23 Hi! How'z you?? (or some derivitive thereof) to: Rosemary Steve Nolan Sydney Meghann Bartlett Debbe Pacheco Abs Skip Ginger Diane Patricia Bryte (Monica's mom in Sac) Jack Smiley Merk Bruce Plait Julie B Debby Rising Gwen Hovde Ricci Karen Lourie M&D Jennifer Stutzman Yael Stark Bri Jane Nelson Elle Jay Carol Tom Turrell Aime Wegner --- EAP Therapy -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Y13 8339 From: "Keating, Hugh" Date: Thu, February 28, 2013 8:02 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Dear Matt: Below is the list of therapists you requested. When calling, please tell the therapist that you’re scheduling an office visit using your EAP benefit through Anthem. You have up to 5 sessions. Once you’ve scheduled an office visit, please reply to this email and finish the form below. You may call instead of e-mailing; the number is 877.419.1659 Please know that this email box is for office visit information only. If you’d like to talk about anything else, or if you’re having a problem scheduling an office visit, please call 877.419.1659. If you’re having a crisis, please dial 911 or go to your nearest ER. Please give this reference number Y13-8339 to the therapist when you schedule your appointment: PAULINE WAN, LCSW (415) 386-8383 1732 FILLMORE ST SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94115 (~20 blocks up Sutter) MARIE SARTE, LCSW (510) 684-8400 1732 FILLMORE STREET SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94115 PATRICIA STENGER, MFT (707) 537-1511 2024 DIVISADERO STREET 3 SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94115 - ROBERT VARGAS, PSY (510) 295-3176 582 MARKET ST 309 SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94104 LM 3.15 MARILYN GIRARD, MFT (415) 433-6304 220 MONTGOMERY ST 400 SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94104 ELLEN KLYCE, MFT Y (510) 414-1537 582 MARKET ST 718 SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94104 MARK CLAYCOMB, LCSW (415) 522-7400 55 NEW MONTGOMERY ST 420 SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94105 55 New Montgomery St (between 2nd and 3rd) and Jessie xLM, outta country for the next month MARSHA FINE, LCSW (415) 362-6265 844 CALIFORNIA ST SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94108 SANDRA AUERBACK, LCSW (415) 421-8230 450 SUTTER #2100 SAN FRANCISCO , CA 94108 LM 3.15 --- saying photos (saved to ~stuff) - The poor are often the most generous. - A great attitude becomes a great day which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life! - Mandy Hale, LiveLifeHappy.com - If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen. - "When I was 5, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon - Life has no remote. You have to get up and change it yourself! - The goal is to build up the wall of positivity so high around you that no matter what negativity comes your way, it can't get through but bounces off and no longer affects your well being. - Sharon Rene Hutchinson - We wait, starving for moments of high magic to inspire us. But life is a banquet of common enchantment waiting for our alchemist's eyes to notice. - Jacob Nordby - If we truly want to become the person we've always dreamed of being, we must transcend our own, self-imposed labels. - John Ribner - When we focus on problems, we have more problems. When we focus on possibilities, we have more opportunities. - Zig Ziglar - If we go out looking for friends, we're going to find they are very scarce. If we go out to be a friend, we'll find friends everywhere! - Zig Ziglar - We can have everything in life we want if we will help enough people get what they want. - Zig - Don't be upset by the results you didn't get from the work you didn't do. - There's a difference between interest and commitment. When we're interested in doing something, we do it when it's conventient. When we're committed to something, we accept no excuses, only results! - Kenneth Blanchard - We will either look back in life and say "I wish I had" or "I'm glad I did." - ZZ - I never said I was perfect... I just said I was awesome! - Of course I talk to myself.. sometimes I need expert advice! - Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect... it means that we've decided to look beyond the imperfections. - Our life is a result of the choices we make... If we don't like our life, it's time to start making better choices. - If we are not willing to learn, no one can help us. If we are determined to learn, no one can stop us! --- 5:02 FB-ND Look for good, and chances are, you'll find it! - Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect... it means that we've decided to look beyond the imperfections. --- Working from the Inside Out More and more companies are incorporating meditation and mindfulness practices. http://www.success.com/articles/2145-working-from-the-inside-out George says Harvard is challenging its students to think hard about their definition of success, to view it as making a “positive difference in the lives of their colleagues, their organizations, their families as a whole.” --- LI-EIN Ken Walker Program Manager at Office of the Director of National Intelligence Washington D.C. Metro AreaGovernment Administration Previous Central Intelligence Agency GS-15 Program Manager *Top Secret clearance with SCI accesses; full-scope polygraph *Intelligence Community (IC) veteran of 23 years --- PP = 3100 28x orders, so far (incl Zoo) --- Compiling MFF lists of addresses --- to the house for Stroganoff (yum) and Scrabble, and a beer. nice "Johnny 2.0", made it about half way on chair --- 3.3 woke up a few times and eventually finished the movie. not bad. 07:22 MCP testimonial, PKP testimonial I've been reading your messages and processing a lot on the surface. I look forward to delving deeper. I cherish you guys. Much love to you both. - Rosemary, FB-im --- 07:30 Hey scoob... sorry I missed the party... woulda gone! Have fun?! Hey to Steffany, Joseph & Shanna (who I just sent a friend request to)! --- FB-im: I asked some people last night how they were doing, personally. got 7 responses, so far, some long, and loving, ones, too. Debby Rising Hi Matt, thanks for asking! wow!!! So much is going on right now, it's a little crazy but it's ok. I'm just having to pick and choose carefully with so much happening.. I moved into the studio (its really a warehouse) last weekend. There's an artists collective there. Mostly clay artists, I'm the only gourd artist. Everyone has been very welcoming to me. Unfortunately I still have to work my J.O.B.... So weekends are prob when I'll be there until the weather warms up. When you get a chance, look up www.panamapotteryretail.com. The building has been in Sac for 100 years. I'm also dancing, training to get my Zumba certification later this year (hopefully in June). I'm on a dance team of 40 something's... Our leader is 60 and she's a spitfire! We'll be dancing at the state fair this summer. I'm feeling good, staying out of others drama I'm too busy planning the next half of my life. How are you doing? How's the job in SF? Do they let you work remote at all? How's Paula doing? Upcoming events: The second Sat of April were having a Second Saturday art event at Panama Pottery. Then on the 20th I have a booth at the Earth Day festival at Southside Park, downtown. For almost 5 years I've been without a place to work so this is huge...... I'm having fun, I feel like I'm back in my own skin and I'm happy with me and my company. What happnin in your corner of the world? - 07:43 Wow, you are kickin' butt, girl-friend! damn. success, everywhere around you, and apparently, INside you... well done. From where you came from, I am sooo impressed with what you've made/created/enhanced your life into! so it's http://panamapotterysacramento.com/blog/, and it looks like a blast... and you're having a great time doing it... so boom, success! Do you have any pics of your gourds?!? DANCING, too, at the State Fair... wowowow!! Enjoy yourself enjoying yourself! (more on us later... good stuff... next ND, May 17 Fresno, some old grads just moved to Sacramento, and they want us to start doing classes there, again. whatchathink?) Rock on! - Lourie Brown Hi Matt :o) Were doing okay. I have been really sick. Just can't get my body or my medicines regulated. Brett took Nikki to Bass Lake today for a picnic & proposed to her. lol They are cute. Nikki told me that after the ND wk end Brett really opened up to her. She said things are a lot better. She is excited to come back. I think that they need to work out the cheating thing. She didn't get a chance to work on that at ND and I think she wishes she had. But all in all they are going okay. Megs and I are just trying to get stuff together, she has 5 weeks left to go! Yikes! We are really getting excited and impatient, we want Liam to be here already. How are you guys doing? How did it go for Paula in WA? Didn't she have a family member that was ill? I hope they recover quickly. Not much happening, sort of same ol same ol. We are getting ready to start the new Renn Faire season in April, it keeps me crazy busy. My guild has doubled the first year. It is amazing, we are one of the 3 largest guilds at fair not with nearly 40 members. I can't believe that! I have to believe that I did the right thing tho. To start over and give the power to the people. All the people that had quit or were eliminated have come back and then brought several people with them. I looked at Megan and laughed and said "OMG what have I done to myself!" LOL It's a task managing that many people. mcp testimonial, pkp testimonial Hey thanks for checkin in Matt. I really love you and Paula very much. Hope you have a great weekend. XOXO --- 08:00 FB techsupport, sixseconds.org was blocked for unsafe or spamming. Six Seconds is a multi-national non-profit, teaching the world the wonder and joy of having high Emotional Intelligence! I doubt they were spamming anyone (at least not on purpose. I think they're safe to unblock. Thanks for trying to protect us. - Matt --- 08:06 Hey gang, it's Michele Soplata?'s birthday! LIKE this to say HB to her (even if you don't know her... but you probably do!). Thanks for your years and years of friendship, support and always being in Learning Mode with us. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sweetie! - "Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation!" - Rumi - A heart that reaches out with love, can heal a soul and change a life. - Kiran Shaikh - All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - Always believe something wonderful is going to happen. ON LEADERSHIP : " Be still, manage things quietly, And keep good control over everything." - Lao Tzu [ Tao Te Ching - 600 BCE]. Luck is not a magical ability or a gift from the gods. Instead it is a way of thinking and behaving. Lucky people create, notice and act upon the chance opportunities in their lives. - Richard Wiseman Just as a bicycle chain may be too tight, so may one's carefulness and conscientiousness be so tense as to hinder the running of one's mind. - William James (1842 - 1910) --- 08:31 FB-MCP Here's another I just saw -- just as fun!! baby wakes up dancing, and can't stop... while sister and dad crack up... excellent! http://msnvideo.msn.com/?channelindex=3&from=en-us_msnhpvidmod&form=msnrll#/video/a8651702-d069-4b49-9dd0-8669956c2b20 - Maria DeGracia With much introspection and meaningful conversation with a dear friend, I am free. Today I am more free than I have been in 30 years! Let the party begin!! ;) - 08:22 Congrats, Maria! We are free, but we can only be free, if we first Feel free (which it sounds like you just experienced), true? yay for you! (oh, and notice what it took for you to feel that good... not much! A friend, a kind word, a feeling of safety, and a good dose of introspection... all 100% free. EQRocks!) --- 08:24 Woohoo -- we just reached a milestone of 1,900 members -- very cool! We have some of the most EQ-savy people on the planet here, from all over the world, and I'm so encouraged that EQ is growing like crazy now. At this point, the evidence is unquestionable that EQ is semi-magical, and it's many benefits, in so many areas of life, FAR exceed the costs! Yay us. EQRocks! Joshua Freedman 9:52pm Mar 2 mcp testimonial Thanks group! And props to Matt for being such a great advocate here, on LI, and in the Real World! :) --- 08:34 Me, too! Daylight Savings goes off next week, and Spring is right around the corner! (but we could sure use some more rain & snow, before the winter goes). Great pic! --- People who achieve nothing are, in reality, achieving what they think they deserve: nothing. --- Everything we do is based on the choices we make. It's not our parents, our past relationships, our job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or our age that is to blame. We, and only we, are responsible for every decision and choice we make. Period. - PSI Seminars, San Francisco PSI Basic Introductory Seminar Register Now Free PSI Basic Intro Discover What's Been Preventing You From Achieving The Wealth, Peace of Mind, Relationships, Spiritual Connection And Health You Desire… and Learn the Next Step to Overcome It! When you attend a FREE PSI Basic Introductory Seminar you'll learn what's been preventing you from having the life you really desire. You'll learn how your communication affects you and the people you interact with - and how changing this will help you positively influence yourself and others. Additionally, you'll learn the benefits of the PSI Basic Seminar, and we provide you with simple tools you can use immediately to improve many areas of your life. This event is around 90 minutes and will cover most of the concepts and focuses that you can expect at the PSI Basic Seminar. AT THE FREE PSI BASIC INTRO YOU WILL HEAR HOW YOU CAN LEARN THE FOLLOWING: Learn how to become a better communicator. Learn to resolve past and current conflicts. Learn how to get 2-3 hours of rest in less than 20 minutes. Learn the top three things that deeply affect relationships. Learn to use more imagination and creativity in your life. Learn how to create more wealth in your life. Learn the attitudes successful people use in business. Learn how your attitude affects others and why attitude creates up to 90% of your results. Start Transforming Your Life Today Click Here To Register for Your FREE PSI Introductory Seminar Or call our office at (707) 998-2222 https://www.psiseminars.com/events/register/ --- Anger is sharp love. Sorrow is hurt love. Fear is contracted love. - David Deida: --- Love comes at a price: The ability to love deeply is dependent on the ability to feel deeply. The ability to love is dependent on the ability to get angry. Because, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. - Doc Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, let go of it. Fear is a mind-killer, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them. - When you attend a FREE PSI Basic Introductory Seminar you'll learn what's been preventing you from having the life you really desire. You'll learn how your communication affects you and the people you interact with - and how changing this will help you positively influence yourself and others. Additionally, you'll learn the benefits of the PSI Basic Seminar, and we provide you with simple tools you can use immediately to improve many areas of your life. This event is around 90 minutes and will cover most of the concepts and focuses that you can expect at the PSI Basic Seminar. http://www.psiseminarsfreeintro.com/ Wednesday, 7:30pm >> PSI Seminars 1500 Van Ness Avenue Explore areas critical to your personal and career success. Develop more effective thought processes. Build better relationships. Learn how to create more balance in your life. Manage stress and have more energy. Create abundance and wealth. Embrace change and create excitement. Learn how to listen more effectively. Explore how your beliefs empower or limit you. Learn how to develop positive habits and break ineffective ones. Improve your memory through visualization. --- Hi Gianna, I received your order for fresh Euc Chew Sticks-- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Chew sticks are usually short, straight and all leaves cleaned off... is that what you wanted? Would you like some 'branches', too, which are thicker and longer, and have leaves (and chew sticks) on them? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- PP = 3178 orders Needed: xafter Mark Lacey... --- paula called to vent about Carol at work half-hour or better --- 09:35 MFF labels in Access Labels_TicketBuyers2011.docx 2009_11_28 MFF AddressesMerged.xls --- Julie b. Howdy! I am pretty darn good quite honestly. The past few months have been interesting/challenging--marriage stuff, life stuff. Things have been turning around the past couple of weeks, though. Feeling more like me again...more fun, more alive! Check out my "What I Want" link on my homepage--that kind of sums up where I am. Thanks so much for checking in, Matt. I appreciate it, really really. :C ) --- What are Your Best Tips for Being a Great Leader? Reading these posts is inspiring. It feels good to know that you are out there with visions of leadership that are based on love, compassion, humility and noble purpose. The world needs to hear your voices. 40 years ago I started playing touch football. I loved it. There something magical about play. I was content to play a small part. Then I decided since I was a strong and accurate thrower I would become a quarterback, I would become a team leader. For ten years I struggled. Instead of seeing who was open to throw the ball to I would run. I would try and do it all myself. If I threw the ball and it was dropped I would be upset with the receiver and lose faith in them. I was not a good leader. Then one day I smitten by personal tragedy. The next time I played football I found comfort in seeing my friends and having them around me. At that point I needed them more than they needed me. Being together mattered so much more than playing a game. My loss had put losing in perspective. I no longer feared it. It was not about me, my success or failure, it was about trusting those around me, being just one of the seven on the field with a common goal. I passed the ball with abandon. If the receiver dropped the ball I would go back to them on the next play to bolster their confidence. I quickly discovered they not only could catch, but would try harder because of my confidence in them. I learned what makes a good quarterback are good receivers. If I want to lead I need to believe I have the skills but not fear failure. I need to trust those around me, help them feel valued and find ways to inspire confidence in them that they can do it. Above all without humility, a leader becomes the weakest link in the chain. By Dana Rodden --- 12:55 A person can aspire to develop wisdom over time regardless of how much intelligence they were born with. - Deena Banks Janie Monsalve Shogren 12:47pm Mar 3 Happy brithday Michele. I always feel the love from you when I go to ND. You are beautiful! Love --- 2:15-6 Orders with Bri 31x! 6-7 more orders then in for Scrabble and dinner (stroganoff, yum) "Dopemine", good! pause on chair --- 3.4 HB2J 00:30 - 02ish up, shower, wash/dry clothes, Rugby 7's in LV. more orders 3 5's and a new S (didn't do UK order for 5B, 10-3's) --- 03:59 "Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." - Henry Ward Beecher --- HB to Michele and Ricci did very well. Interactions are up on FB-NDG... I'm doing well, I like my energy, and apparently, so do others. --- so, whatchadoin' these days? still distract-o-saurus? got EQ-101.2 done, yay! go for .3 next Friday. >> re-compile D-Rs and ND Brochure's gotta get ones from notebooks, too! --- From Blame to Acclaim (cont'd) the pain of remembering what happened to me is strong the pain is so strong that it still effects me, even 10 years later the pain is still there, and I'm so aware of it, I just want it to leave. she's saying that I have a choice in this matter. should I believe her, or should I believe the pain I am feeling since the pain is something that happened long ago I'm gonna take a chance and believe what she's telling me now If I have a choice to take back my personal power taking back my PP, and seeing that what happened didn't kill me I can feel some kinda shift is going on in my body it feels like a weight is being lifted from my heart I deeply and completely love and accept myself I forgive myself for giving up my PP. hum the birthday song hum-hum-hum-hum-Hum-hum. has the intensity in that memory increased or decreased if it got stronger, it's because there are led you to believe you had no power, you were stripped of your power the blame is so deeply embedded in you. no one has the right to take away from you your dignity However, how long are you going to lallow that to happy you have a choice do you want to keep giving your power if they're in still in your life, why give them this power when you have sadness of an event years ago sadness is causing disease it's in your small intestine Trauma is real! trauma effects your bladder. stress is the #1 cause of diseases that are lying dormant, ready to well up at any moment. a smell the sound of someone's voice someone's name emotional pain felt as physical pain what happens with worry, and anxiety, in the stomach. anxiety causes ulcers. we've been living, thus far, based on circumstances http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/wp-login.php http:// - 05:20 Radio Show Guest? http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite Hi Dr. D. I just listened to "From Blame To Acclaim", and I loved it! You and I teach Many of the exact same concepts, like: - taking back personal power. - we gotta feel it to heal it - all feelings are good, they just need to be respected, accepted and managed. - we CAN heal our past pain and trauma! - etc... So, I would Love to be a guest on your show someday, so we can discuss some of our shared visions, for all the hear! My wife and I, along with published therapist Myron Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT, have been teaching intensive EQ-based emotional healing classes for over 25 years in California (and beyond), and I love going on the radio to talk about this MOST URGENT subject! I've been a guest on 4 radio shows, and we just finished a TV show EQ-101, the Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence (I love this stuff!). We've worked with veterans with PTSD, foster kids & parents, DV/SA victims, depression, anxiety, anger/rage reduction... the works. Here are links to some of my radio and TV shows, and a bunch of interviews with folks who have taken our workshops, many of whom have Totally changed their lives for the better because they learned to FEEL and HEAL! http:// Thanks. Let me know your thoughts, either way. Best wishes for all you're doing for the world!! - Matt Perelstein, EQ Dude 916-599-8597 - new blogtalkradio account (signed on with FB) http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mattperelstein. --- English, by George Carlin (1937-2008) We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and there would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, What do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship... We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language In which your house can burn up as it burns down, In which you fill in a form by filling it out, And in which an alarm goes off by going on. And in closing... If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?????? --- 05:31 how to defuse your Anger? Anger is both a primary and secondary emotion. As a primary, biologically based emotion it serves a survival purpose as Ed describes above. It's perfectly healthy and natural to defend ourselves and those we care for. As a secondary emotion, anger covers up other, usually more vulnerable emotions, like fear or hurt that we may have been socialised to obscure. In this case, it's healthier to access the feelings underneath and express them in ways that meet our deeper needs for validation, understanding and connection. By Elly Taylor --- struggle ends when gratitude begins. When your choices are your own, you will be more likely to accept and be satisfied with the outcome of those choices. Setting goals is a really important part of helping you to focus on where you want to go. By setting a goal, you end up with a road map you can follow. - Kim Stirling There is only one journey. Going inside yourself. - Rainier Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926) “The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness." - Maya Angelou --- Too much emotion can be unhealthy, irresponsible and even dangerous. ... and so it seems that... Too little emotion can be unhealthy, irresponsible and even dangerous! - mcp --- 05:38 Matt Perelstein Yep! We have a great dane, too (Bella) and I love, Love, LOVE her!! Sweetest, most loving dog, I've ever met! --- Tim Goulart Gaelic blessing: May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warmly upon your face; The rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand. --- FB-IM and phone text msg Abbie Mayersky 248.210.0530 Jase Mayersky 782 Watch Hill Lane Apt 3A, Traverse City, MI 49684-1487 248.804.4142 --- 06:06 Hey Ashley, Your last order came back undelivered. Did you want me to try again (same address)? Thanks. I hope all is well. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Hey tomorrow (3/5) is our anniversary -- it's been 12 years since most of us moved to Fort Bragg! Whatchathink -- was it a good idea to move up here?!? --- BEING THICK SKINNED IS FOR CHUMPS. by DAN WALDSCHMIDT http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/being-thick-skinned-is-for-rhinos-and-chumps There’s no glory in learning how to “take criticism.” Despite what you have probably been told about needing a grow a “thick skin”, there is something magically inspired about taking life deeply personally. About getting offended, hurt, angry, and even. You don’t have to find the positive in everything others say to you. Sometimes there is nothing worthwhile learning. Sometimes it’s not the right time to learn. Sometimes you are better off staying angry. Being able to easily shrug off pain and hurt doesn’t make you a better person or closer to being more successful. The truth is that having a thick skin stops you from being motivated by failure. You aren’t tough enough to win until you’re angry enough to do what’s extraordinary. That only comes when you have thin enough skin to feel the sting of getting of wrong and work relentlessly to make that feeling go away. Masking failure with excuses, deflection, or baggage from your past just stops you from harnessing the bitter rage that would otherwise move you past your obstacle. It burns a lot of emotional energy to get angry and stay that way. You’ll get less sleep and sometimes lose friends. But you get better results than just shrugging off bad outcomes. So maybe it’s time to get angry. And stay that way. --- PP = 3067 -89 GoDaddy, frequent buyer's club -51 GoDaddy, URL renewals -36 Press Democrat -83 GoDaddy, more URL renewals! --- 06:59 Rebekah Hey, nice talking to you yesterday!! (just kidding). Are you going tonight?? Have a good one. - Matt --- 7 go. (wake up Pkp, to USPS, TP for PR, Costco for printer ink, SR) - MFF to drop off mail labels Harvest for, well, you know... Philo for $333 worth of packages CostCo for $75 in office and Euc supplies skipped SR 12:25 to ferry PL, got a great space (by following someone from last ferry) ALL Alone outside on ferry, so danced and sang and texted PR and Robin re: PSI on Wed. --- LI-EIN How to defuse your Anger? The root of anger is the perception that "this thing is harming me, or I don't like this thing and I must destroy it". The emotion of anger is experienced in different degrees the mildest being annoyance and the strongest being rage and hostility. If you don't deal with annoyance by appropriately expressing it then it aggravates to higher intensities depending on how much the original stimulus or cue has stayed without you dealing with it. If unfortunately a person has reached the aggravated stages then he might need a technique to defuse the rage. I am not sure that the aggravated person can himself defuse his rage without external intervention. But he can do two things after the aggravation has subsided: (1) Do a post-mortem of the aggravated situation and prepare for its recurrence so as to pre-empt the rage and (2) Over a period of time identify and challenge the perception that is at the root of his anger . In post-mortem, awareness and ownership of one’s own feeling is the first step i.e. not blaming the other person or situation as the cause of his feeling, acknowledging that you don't want to feel that way is the second step, identification of the subtle cues and stimulus - the various elements of the situation that caused the annoyance when it was first felt in the situation - is the third step. All the above three steps would require the angry person to introspect perhaps after an anger episode, writing down his observations of the stimulus and cues and why he does not want to be angry. Cues could be specific words, things said, tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures of people involved in the situation and so on. After identifying cues, ask himself how he would like to deal with the stimulus the next time it occurs. This will be his strategy and if he can’t make one then he better seek help. Then, when he comes to know that he is going to face the situation in which the stimulus will be present, he must become and remain alert for the cues and repeat his strategy in his mind till the situation has passed over. Identifying and challenging the perception might be necessary if the person has already suffered numerous bouts of anger and has become uncontrollably habituated to a response of range. This might require help of a counselor. By Ambuj Jain --- 1:52 "Jeff Gunier" Dr. Inna Rostker | Yo Jeff, a big chunk of my $700, 2-month-old filling fell out this weekend. What do you suggest? Thanks! - Matt --- 1:59 MFF It's not in Donor Tools. Since we have the names in Excel format, I left the letter in Word, and created a mail merge to customize each page. We can do that again, if you wish... it takes awhile, but it's not that difficult. Were you able to compare the printed labels with the ones in the document I sent you? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Renewal letter From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Mon, March 04, 2013 12:00 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, I am at the office, cannot find the reformatted letter you and Melissa worked on. Would like to adapt and send as new member letter. Where is it? Not found on donor tools. Thanks Arlene --- We can growl, without hatred. Anger <> Hate Anger <> Rage Anger <> Hurtful --- ND Brochure: Emotional Bootcamp! IQ + EQ = LOL !! Adding Right-brain EQ to our our Left-brain IQ to open a whole new world of who and what we are! Emotional Literacy (IQ) + Emotional Mastery (EQ) = Whole-brain Optimum Info Best Practices Balanced Living - Total, 100% Responsibility for ourselves, our results and our lives. EQ ER PR SR World Peace! EQ --> ER --> PR --> SR --> World Peace! Radical Self-Reliance/Self-Responsibility/Self-Honesty - Nick Bottom-line it: - How'z that working for you? - How did you get them to do that? - We don't do ANYthing that we don't want to do. - Nothing we do is without purpose - Guilt is our way of feeling like we're doing something about a situation that we have no intention on doing anything about - Whenever we feel Guilty, we will set ourselves up to be punished - Sharon, the Drill Instructor Karen, the Loving Grandma Paula, the Wise Elder of the Clan Matt, the EQ Dude Larry, the Seasoned Vet (how do you fit in?) >> Lisa, help me make this a Bootcamp! I wish you could help me with marketing that didn't involve more money. I'd love to have some actual strategy, as well. >> Review ND, How it Works --- 2:51 Elizabeth S, MCTV Hi. So, now I'm on a roll... can Mateo and I meet again this Friday afternoon to finish the 3rd episode of EQ-101, as well?!? Thanks. - Matt --- 3:03 LBL Hi Davina, You seem to understand the PAD data well, so can you help us determine which Employee records and which Account Info records are FY12 and which are FY13? Thanks! - Matt --- writing in here, where it looks exactly the same as my work environment, is brilliant! --- 3:55 (EQ Quotes) Mike Duffy (bcc: me, robin) Hi again Mike, I found the most persuasive business case for EI/EQ that I’ve seen. Be sure to check out the three Business Case Studies contained there, as well. Here are some informative quotes which sum it up nicely… "Leaders with higher EQ produce more powerful business results and greater profitability." - ‘Emotional Intelligence of Leaders: A Profile of Top Executives’. Steven Stein, Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 2009 "EQ is more than twice as predictive of business performance than purely cognitive intelligence." - Gerald Mount in 'The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Developing International Business Capacity, 2006 “80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performance are in the domain of EQ." - Daniel Goleman, 'Working with Emotional Intelligence' "Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need it, but it doesn't make you a star. Emotional Intelligence can." - Warren Bennis, author of 'On Becoming a Leader' I just re-read your initial message (below) and you suggested that we might speak live… at your convenience! Thanks. Let me know how I can help. - Matt --- LI-EIN how to defuse your Anger? Sami, It is my opinion that the seeds of anger can be planted at an early age. How you are taught to cultivate the plant from those seeds can make an immense difference when in later life you must deal with that harvest. I've such gratitude that my biological father was very wise and taught me how my anger can be directed towards a good outcome and is not a destructive force. My half brother on the other hand early on could not control his anger. I remember once returning home with him and as he opened the screen door it snapped shut and hit him in the nose. His immediate response was to punch the glass windo that was nearest him. His hand was bloodied and he was made to replace the window. Today even as a 62 year old man he is quick to anger and doesn't realize the consequences of his actions. There have been times when I was angry enough to spit nails but I thought thing through and brought it under control. Anger is a very normal, healthy emotion as long as it is dispelled in a manner that hurts no one or anything. Anger can make some people who like to hold on to it and mull over it very bitter and sad individuals. I also agree that the current frustrations of today's addictions can put undue internal pressure on people. In our world of ever intrusive media and it's speed many people fall into the trap of lightening fast judgements before all the facts come to light. There is also the intrusion of the probable bias from these sources. That can cause the pressure cooker to blow and more people can get hurt so more damage is needlessly committed. When I listen to news or a story that sparks my indignation I remember to stop and try to put myself in the situation to gain a different perspective. I'm not always likely to change my initial response but at least I can reassure myself that my anger and response was within a reasonable parameter. When I am writing a film review I definitely take time to walk all 'round and through the film a number of times so I can see not only the director's view but also that of every character in the film to understand their reactions and the emotions they display. This gives perspective to the whole from which a better judgement or decision can be made. The key is to make yourself stand back and try to shut down from all the intrusions to make an appriate response. That can mean going deep into yourself to a touchstone of tranquility or peace before reacting. That way the cause of the frustration is tamped down and you can bring forth a truer, less over reactive response. Addiction in and of itself is usually a product of an event or experience that one has gone through. At supper the other evening I learned that 50 % of clergy were the adult children of alcoholism. Imagine their frustration at trying to solve all the problems of their parishioners because they were not able to successfully able to control their parent's addiction. There would have to be an internal anger from that frustration alone and the decision to let their parishioners make their mistakes but to guide them as best they can. Other people live with demons of addiction for which they see no cure or release and can ultimately literally kill themselves. Such addiction can be self loathing or anger over things that they themselves cannot recognize or admit to. This type of anger definitely requires the courage to seek professional help. These persons cannot step back into a touchstone of harmony never having experienced it. Is this answering your question? By Elise Williams --- No, no pain. 11:30 Tuesday sounds good... thanks! -Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Dr. Inna Rostker | Appointment Confirmation From: "Jeff Gunier" Date: Mon, March 04, 2013 3:45 pm To: Hi Matt, I think we need to get you back in to have Dr. Inna take a look at it. Are you in any pain? If not, can you make it in tomorrow 3/5/13 @ 11:30am? Jeff --- Myra Hunter called to say that she's glad we're in our group! --- We are VERY excited to announce the launch of the Michael N. Brown, MD website Click on the link below to gain access: www.MichaelNBrownMD.com · Our Mission Statement · Michael N. Brown, MD Biography · Contact Information including: o Practice Locations (Washington & California) o New Business E-mail addresses for staff: 1. Sheila@MichaelNBrownMD.com (please discontinue the use of Mahogany758@aol.com) 2. Deb@MichaelNBrownMD.com o New contact phone numbers also **coming soon** · Scheduling Calendar o You will now be able to check Dr. Brown’s location schedule for dates of availability on the website. · Patient Education Materials: o This is currently available for public viewing. However, it will soon be made available only to our patients and prospective patients by way of a password that will be made available via Dr. Brown’s staff. · Physician PowerPoint Presentations: o These consist of PowerPoint slides and educational materials for physicians from Dr. Brown’s lecture series. The passwords for access to these materials will be provided at his various lecture locations. · Our Approach: o Many patients have asked for information explaining the methods and technologies utilized by Dr. Brown. We are pleased to provide a website that offers this information as well as new educational materials on his approach. New articles will be viewable as they are made available for upload. · New Patient Forms: o Made available for download and completion prior to appointments. · Frequently Asked Questions section o A page addressing points of curiosity and confusion that come up often. Sheila~** OFFICE MANAGER MICHAEL N. BROWN, MD http://www.MichaelNBrownMD.com SPINE INSTITUTE NORTHWEST 1629 220th Street SE, Suite# 201 Bothell, WA 98021 SPINE & SPORTS EXTREMITY CLINIC / PROCEDURE CENTER 5006 Center Street Tacoma, WA 98409 MONTEREY PENINSULA ORTHOPAEDIC & SPORTS MEDICINE INSTITUTE 10 Harris Court, Building A, Suite #1 Monterey, CA 93940 F.I.R.M. ASSOCIATES, Inc. 6042 N. Fresno Street, Suite #101 Fresno, CA 93710 CELL#: 973.900.3696 FAX#: 206.257.4994 - Our Mission To care for those who find themselves still searching … To bring back the values and principles of the practice of medicine that seem to have been lost within the current system. To provide alternatives to conventional treatment such as opioids, drugs, surgery and other failed treatment strategies for the chronic pain patient. To become one of the first truly “integrative pain medicine institutions” in the US. To become a resource for advanced diagnostics and definitive treatment intervention for referring physicians who seek expert consultation as a service for patients that they feel have the potential for recovery. To advance the science, research and technology for the diagnosis and management of chronic pain related to the spine and musculoskeletal system. - Dr. Brown's Bio Dr. Brown is a uniquely trained pain physician. He initially completed a Doctor of Chiropractic degree from Palmer College of Chiropractic in Davenport, Iowa. He licensed in California and then completed a three-year orthopedic diplomat program, a three-year neurology diplomat program and also completed two additional years to obtain special certification in sports medicine and rehabilitation with Southern California University of Health Sciences. He joined the postgraduate faculty at the University and taught sports medicine, biomechanics, and rehabilitation in postgraduate orthopedic courses for two decades. He also completed an industrial rehabilitation residency program and focused on specialized training in occupational medicine rehabilitation and pain behavior. He attended Stanford University School of Medicine Primary Care Associates program and completed his PA degree. He stayed on after graduation to complete a clinical extension in orthopedic medicine. As a PA he worked in orthopedic spine surgery, physical medicine & rehabilitation, sports medicine, occupational medicine, anesthesiology, pain medicine and interventional radiology. After almost two decades of clinical experience gained in these areas he then attended medical school at St. George's University School of Medicine. After obtaining his Doctor of Medicine, he comleted an internship in internal medicine at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center in New Jersey. He attended a physical medicine & rehabilitation residency program at SUNY Stony Brook in New York. He was elected to serve as chief resident in the residency program and then was recruited to continue his professional education by entering an interventional spine and research fellowship at the prestigious University of Washington in Seattle. He joined the Department of Anesthesiology & Pain Medicine and completed his first pain Fellowship which included training in advanced pain procedures and endoscopic spine procedures. He then elected to complete a second year of pain Fellowship and completed an ACGME accredited Anesthesiology Pain Medicine Fellowship also at the University of Washington in Seattle. He worked as an associate program director for the Pain Medicine Fellowship program at the University of Washington and was active in both administrative and Pain Fellowship education activities. He is now boarded in both physical medicine & rehabilitation as well as pain medicine. His expertise in the biomechanics of sprinting and sports medicine, led him to be a highly sought after sports medicine consultant and he served as a sports medicine physician on the USA Olympic track and field team for over 18 years. His sports medicine experience also includes providing consultation and sports medicine care to multiple NFL teams, professional soccer, cycling, baseball, mixed martial arts competitor's with the UFC, national cricket teams from the West Indies as well as countless professional athletes around the world. His alternative medicine and complimentary pain medicine skills are uniquely integrated with his traditional rehabilitative medicine and pain medicine training, making him one of the more unique integrated pain medicine practitioners in the US. His focus on regenerative medicine provides a means by which he can offer chronic pain patients many alternatives. These alternatives are often not available to patients seeking traditionally trained interventional pain physicians and surgeons. His extensive occupational medicine experience and pain behavioral training provides a unique approach to complex occupational medicine case management. While at the University of Washington he also trained in diagnostic and interventional musculoskeletal ultrasonography where he gained extensive experience in the use of ultrasonography and treatment of musculoskeletal and orthopedic conditions. He has published multiple chapters in interventional pain and ultrasonography textbooks on this subject and continues to work in research in musculoskeletal and pain medicine ultrasonography. He currently has offices in the Seattle Washington area as well as Monterey and Fresno California. His research and work in biomedical technology development is described in another section on this website. - Woohoo! Congrats to you both! Rock on... - Matt --- Elizabeth I have a 1pm mtg at the Mendo Art Center. So either before (10 or 11), or after (3pm+). Maybe it won't take quite as long, because now I know what's needed better. -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EQ-101.3 From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Mon, March 04, 2013 4:34 pm To: So this could happen if you can come earlier - Mateo would like noon. If not noon when is the earliest you can come? - Hi I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter Pack -- thanks! Your order should go out on Friday (I'm outta town working until then... sorry). Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- eats MFF 4 kisses carob/peanut (4-5x) peach (Gowan's) apple (Gowan's) byte of pizza some chocolate (that someone was snarfing at CostCo) some chicken (cold, from baggie) work PB, 2x spoonfuls water(!) oatmeal Subway (CCC) cookie (berry, yum) --- 6:05 out Oh, these 4.5 hour days are killing me(!) --- Paula Athea 7 LF Seminar Integrity! - Satisfaction --- A diary that is kept for a specific purpose can be a great way to focus on a specific issue that you want to work through. --- 3.5 00:00 Satisfaction 00:30 to bed 06:47 up and e's “Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.“ - Anne Sexton getting down on yourself is not the answer. Why would you do to you what God would never do to you? The joy you get from bringing about happiness or just putting a smile on someone's face is so rewarding...At the end of the day, you have to define yourself by your achievements, your actions and your ideals. - Queen Rania al Abdullah of Jordan A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Health is Wealth! --- This is a good article, and a great EQ skill! "...in the book Peacemaking For Families by Ken Sade and Tom Raabe. They explain that there are Seven A’s to a great apology. They are: 1. Address everyone involved. (All those whom you affected.) 2. Avoid if, but, and maybe. (Do not try to excuse your wrongs.) 3. Admit specifically. (Both attitudes and actions.) 4. Acknowledge the hurt. (Express sorrow for hurting someone.) 5. Accept the consequences. (Such as making restitution.) 6. Alter your behavior. (Change your attitudes and actions.) 7. Ask for forgiveness." How (or how well) do you apologize?? --- Positive emotions can, the researchers concluded, undo the effects of a stressful negative experience. There's more to life than being happy. --- 07:44 MCTV Sounds good! I'll be there at 10am Friday, 3/8 to work with Mateo on EQ-101.3. Thanks, E!! - Matt --- 08:02 sponge bath and go (a bit late...) --- Terra Linda Bus Pad (Hwy 101 at Freitas Pkwy) last ferry is 9:35 PSI Carson Johns at 650-273-5964 --- gosh, this is SUCH a waste of my time! get validation(s) done, or do some good writing. something! -- to add Right-brain EQ to Left-brain IQ -- --- Fantastic! So, what's the rest of the story? I've seen you float vertically like that, but I've NEVER seen anyone else do it! How did Michelle do that? BTW, I was thinking of making a fun brochure that showed ND as an Emotional Bootcamp -- an intensive, no-bs immersion weekend -- lead by a experienced training team: Paula, the Wise Elder of the Clan Matt, the EQ Dude Sharon, the Drill Instructor (with a pic of you nose-to-nose with someone!) Karen, the Loving Grandma Larry, the Seasoned Vet ... whatchathink? - Spudly --- Sharon: "Everything you've ever been through is on your emotional hard drive." - Marilou Henner on the Today Show 3/5/13 - Excellent -- thanks! So that means ND is like doing Defrag or a Virus Check on ourselves, to detect and repair: viruses - poisonous belief systems broken links -meanings that make no sense incomplete files - stuff we started, but never finished bad sectors - old yucky feelings ... the works Love it!! btw, I'm meeting at MCTV on Friday to finish editing the segment we did, EQ-101.3 on Anger! Can't wait to see it complete (speaking of incomplete files!). - me --- 11:30 dental appt temp filling broke off will do another temp for $125 (hopefully paid by Delta Dental) but it's tooth 5 and it really needs a root canal ($600 to me) did nothing, LM for Paula --- 12:15 to Subway (and back to eat here) with Youde --- E, I just realized that I don't have the video or audio for EQ-101.3... and I think I'll need one or the other to complete the PPT to go along with it. Perhaps, you guys could make me a DVD of what you have so far, I'll pick it up this Friday (3/8), and then be ready for an Editing session next Friday (3/15). Other ideas? Thanks. - Matt --- Tracy Kay blue zipper money bag did you see it? Found it! --- 2:45 Dentist, again temp filling replaced $200 paid balance --- ND How and Why it works! http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/how-and-why-it-works/ In a super-safe, loving environment, we start by talking to your left-brain, so it can understand and give the right-brain permission to proceed. Then, we delve into your right-brain -- to discover, and release, some of the pictures, sounds, voices, pains and anger from your past -- by allowing your inner child to speak, and feel... and heal. Then, we'll help you through a Statement of Direction... a proclamation that 'I am through being a victim, and finished blaming others'... and I choose to use our Personal Power from this day forward! Some lecture, but mostly experiencial including sharing, visualization, communication, emotional processing and role-play exercises. It's 2.5 solid days of intensive EQ skills training, personal connections, and emotional release. On Friday night from 7-11ish, Saturday from 9-8ish, Sunday starts at 9, graduation's at 7pm. boom, you're different. things have changed. the world looks brighter, and more hopeful, and more in your control. I promise you that within those short hours, you will see and feel your life change dramatically, for the better, or we will give you your money back. We are willing to love and accept you as you are -- even the parts of you that YOU may not like -- until you can start to love and accept yourself. The truth is, that we are really quite selfish in doing this work. I/we want our world better... and we have found that the best way, and the most fulfilling way, for us to do that, is to help YOU feel better about Yourself. The more you love yourself, the better our world will be! We call it Ultimate Selfishness... and it's working! EQ and Emotional Intelligence are the keys to happiness and success in life. • Increased self-confidence • Renewed enthusiasm for life • Better personal relationships • More effectiveness at work • Relief from anger and depression • Compassion and forgiveness for yourself and others • A better understanding of loved ones • A greater spiritual identity • A clearer sense of purpose Here's a virtual Tour of ND and how it works-- check out this informative video Download PowerPoint file. We have found no other vehicle where people do this quantity of healing in just one short weekend, while learning emotional tools to continue growing and healing afterwards. What we cover: Course Outline --- Bus 24 Schedule http://goldengatetransit.org/schedules/updates/route_24.php every half hour, during rush hours only Lucky Drive to Pine and Battery Southbound 04:30-08:30, 30-min trip Pine and Battery to Lucky Dr. Northbound 2:24- 7:11, 50-min trip --- Underarm Rash Treatment Baking Soda Paste Make a paste of baking soda and water and apply this to the affected skin region. Wash it off after about 15 minutes. It is one the most effective Underarm Rash remedies. >> --- EQ-101.2 is showing for first time Wed @ 7, and Friday, too. http://mendocoasttv.org/ Public, Education & Government (PEG) Access on the Mendocino Coast since 1983 >> download from website http://mendocoasttv.org/schedule3.php#? me here: http://mendocoasttv.org/VODLibrary.html EQ-101: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) >> write to Webmaster earl@solie.org http://mendocoasttv.org/EQ101.html --- I'm cold, and very tired, and kinda achy, and hot and coughing more. just tired, or...? --- 5:22 Cool. Thanks. next ND in Fresno: May 17! see you then... "Sir, yes, Sir!" - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: quote From: Sharon Norell Date: Tue, March 05, 2013 5:18 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com The concept goes with the current techy mentality. I've been called worse....lol. Actually, sorta suits.... Goddess of Anger is more palatable - but not techy. Cool that you're looking at anger video. Don't forget to send ND dates, please. --- 5:30 out! >> nap on ferry! nope chess with Muhammed in front of 24-hour Subway on Market and Embarcadero then held back ferry door open for lots of folks very fun (like pourin' kegs) make it happen. wanna meet people, give first! it's a great way to get eye contact (finally) walked back to Lucky Dr. writing along the way cold and windy, but cool! brought all notebooks in, and up. 7x, at least 1 of which is full >>go thru and get the D-R's and ND Brochures out (exactly what I was gonna have Sean do.) good to get started, then I'll know better what I want and perhaps I could still go back to Sean --- 7:54 the 'other' bandcamp... and damn, these boys are good! (tho' I've never Seem 'em, ever, but I've heard and FELT them!) LI_EIN Dierdra W. commented on How does confidence become arrogance and a de-railer for leaders? What EI competencies are connected to this "fine-line" of leadership?... "Though I would say that the line between confidence and arrogance is crossed when humility goes out the window, I would say that our ... "more… "Though I would say that the line between confidence and arrogance is crossed when humility goes out the window, I would say that our perception of people is what effectively puts them in one category or the other (interestingly enough, I had this discussion with a co-worker the other day). In many instances, people who simply do not like a person who "stands up for themself" call that person arrogant while the person they like who does the same is confident. I think being open about why we have decided to take a certain action can however often deter the "arrogant" label being slapped on us. On the other hand, there will always be a few people who will be less than pleased with our actions and/or decisions, but if we, and our leaders, can begin to be open and honest about what we do and why, we would have a lot less "arrogant" leaders on our hands! " --- salad, with extra spinach and raisins round, $2.99 ones from Safeway are Hecka Good, even without adding anything! dentist, 3x today got new temp filling should last a month. last one lasted 2. >> remember to chew on the left side of my mouth always, and only for now until we're ready for a $600 root canal/crown I almost got sick today... for about an hour... but let go of it, just in time. had an interesting talk with Jim today he stopped at my desk, and leaned against the rail there. and I was sooooouuuund asleep! - Cost of Root Canal and Crown conclusion, She's reasonable! http://health.costhelper.com/root-canal.html A root canal on a bicuspid or premolar tooth (mid-mouth) can cost $400 -$1,800 or more, but typically is about $900 -$1,100. CostHelper readers without insurance report paying $600 -$1,550, or an average cost of $957. CostHelper readers with insurance report out-of-pocket expenses of $290 -$375, or an average cost of $333. --- Awareness EQRocks! Our left-brain must 'understand' and 'be ok with' this life-changing move. Responsibility Mastery from all IQ, and no EQ to a balance of both --- ... and notebooks! doing D-R and ND Brochure into ~mcp-D-RNotes_20130306.txt and ~ND_BrochureWording_20130306.txt do I put 'em where they go, or just collect 'em and record 'em? add quickly to blank file, then incorporate, or sort on the fly? get started and see... go thru here, first --- 8:49 LI-EIN, 3 posts, on my threads Let's play along with the Six-word Memoirs project, and try to sum up our lives in 6 words or less... I... finally... am!» - Matt's EQ Stuff Matt Perelstein • We seem to be a pro-left-brain, anti-right-brain society (and that formula isn't working very well) Let's help change that from all IQ, and no EQ, to a balance of both. IQ + EQ really does = LOL !! (LaughOutLoud and LotsOfLove) - What's the Main Point of EQ? It's unhealthy, irresponsible and dangerous to allow too much feeling, unabated. ... and it turns out that ... it's unhealthy, irresponsible and dangerous to allow too little feeling, unexpressed. - EQ could lead to social reform, changing the world from the inside out! It seems to be about BALANCING our left-brain IQ with our right-brain EQ to make better decisions, get better results, and live an engaged, conscious and uniquely satisfying life... EQRocks! --- 9:10 g'night paula (1 min convo) 9:15 it's pouring out (yay!) and right after I got inside! 10:30ish to bed --- 3.6 04:50 up, brush, re-make bed apt is locked up, lights off... Marc musta come by late I'd like to ask Tom for a key to upstairs, for Wed morning showers. --- 05:17 I enjoy the camaraderie of friendship and what food, music and beautiful surroundings can do for the soul. - Anne Thorp "Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." - Karen Kaiser Clark Aging is real. Maturing is optional. - mcp ----------- mcp ---------- “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the knowledge that something else is more important than the fear.“ - James Neil Hollingworth - 05:30 FB-ND FB-NDG FB-EQR “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the knowledge that something else is more important than the fear.“ - James Neil Hollingworth EQ is about knowing, accepting, and being able to express our feelings (or not) in healthy, powerful ways. If we know our fear, we can deal with it. If our fear grips us so hard that we cannot make logical decisions, we are NOT in control of our lives... our fear is. Learn your fears, face them, conquer them, succeed! --- Join the EQRocks Family at http://www.EQRocks.com. Empowering our emotions and creativity (right-brain EQ) into our knowledge and logic (left-brain IQ) allows us to live a passionate, joy-filled, successful life. IQ + EQ = LOL ! --- FB-EQR admin General Information: GOOD NEWS! EQ gives hope. EQ changes lives. EQ is good for sales, and business. EQ is an attitude, a lifestyle, a skill, an art and a language. EQ is all-natural, and healthy, and organic, and God-given, and powerful, and free. EQ builds relationships. EQ heals pain. EQ saves lives. EQRocks! EQ is a wonderful tool and a learned skill. (take the tour) Over 25 years of doing this work, we've learned many life-changing communication skills, behavioural training and life skills techniques that work for us and we're happy to share with you. Join the EQRocks family of emotionally safe, loving, empowering people! We work Together, so we can make our lives look, and more importantly, FEEL as good as we possibly can! (old) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is about taking responsibility for ourselves and our lives (since that's all have control over, anywayz)... and doing it together ('cause it's way more fun and effective that way)... so we can all be the very best (and happiest, and most loved and loving, and successful) we can be. IQ + EQ = LOL !! Learn EQ, because EQ changes everything! - D-R http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html "'Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall' - Stephen R. Covey The price of peer acceptance is to accept being average. Interacting peacefully with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. What's a man's first duty? The answer's brief: to be himself. - Henrik Ibsen (1828 - 1906) --- 06:16 FB-NDG CONGRATS to Nikki Wayne? and Brett McIntyre for their engagement! You guys make a Great couple -- it's fun to be around that much love -- so we wish you both the best! Keep doing the EQ/ND work, tho, 'cause the communication and feeling skills are Critical to a lasting relationship. Rock on --->>!! --- 06:30 PKP, after seeing some of DDB's ex-patients for the first time empathy and compassion without being enmeshed goal is to move them on, not just commisserate "I have to talk to..." but many don't speak English people want us enmeshed crutch, and your best friend we have to give the impression that we are NOT their best friend can't share too much of your story, bec. they start thinking they're your friend --- 06:45 Read about how some of the leaders in technology discuss tapping into our inner wisdom even as we integrate more and more technology into our lives. Ariana Huffington writes about her powerful experience at Wisdom 2.0. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html >> send to Mike Duffy "The costs of living a frenetic life are devastating. Over the past 30 years, self-reported levels of stress have shot up 25 percent for men and 18 percent for women. Stress costs American businesses an estimated $300 billion per year. I love his definition of mindfulness (EQ), that it 'cultivates our ability to do things knowing that we're doing them.'" Wisdom 2.0 was about, "the great challenge of our age: to not only live connected to one another through technology, but to do so in ways that are beneficial to our own well-being, effective in our work, and useful to the world." At the core of the really big problems we're facing... isn't lack of data. It's lack of wisdom. - (entire article) Arianna Huffington.GET UPDATES FROM Arianna Huffington ..My Weekend at the Happiest Place on Earth (No, It Wasn't Disneyland) Posted: 02/27/2013 6:57 pm This past weekend I went to Disneyland. Not the actual Disneyland, but my version of Disneyland. It was a conference called Wisdom 2.0, which is designed to address "the great challenge of our age: to not only live connected to one another through technology, but to do so in ways that are beneficial to our own well-being, effective in our work, and useful to the world." Like a kid at "The Happiest Place on Earth," I wanted to go on every ride, eat every snack, go to every session and talk to every other speaker and everyone attending. And like many a Disney-fied kid, I was primed for a bad case of overstimulation leading to an eventual meltdown. Fortunately, given the nature of the conference, there were ample breaks for things like meditation, breathing exercises, yoga and healthy snacks. Which, of course, just left me that much more energized. I was in a mindfulness spiral! The conference is in its third year, and its founder and host is Soren Gordhamer, who has dedicated himself to helping us find ways to tap into our inner wisdom even as we integrate more and more technology into our lives. This is also the topic of his book, Wisdom 2.0: Ancient Secrets for the Creative and Constantly Connected. He also founded a non-profit called The Lineage Project, designed to help incarcerated and at-risk teens (I love the organization's slogan, "We go inside to keep them out"). We all know that technology is taking over practically every aspect of our lives -- mostly for the better. But there is also a growing awareness that our increasing dependence on technology puts us at risk of becoming disconnected from ourselves. The fact that this awareness, and the desire to do something about it, is no longer confined to the touchy-feely crowd was amply demonstrated in the conference's list of speakers, which drew from nearly every sector of society. They included: •Bill Ford, Executive Chairman of Ford Motor Company. •Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn. •Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii. She's not only the first Hindu member of Congress, but, along with newly elected Tammy Duckworth of Illinois, one of the House's first female combat veterans. •Padmasree Warrior, Chief Technology and Strategy Officer of Cisco. •Jared Smyser, a Marine Corps veteran who, since leaving the military, has been working on a mindfulness project with the Marines at Camp Pendleton in California. •Congressman Tim Ryan, of Ohio. •Sherry Turkle, psychologist and author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other. •Thupten Jinpa, Buddhist scholar, writer, principal English translator for the Dalai Lama, and a visiting scholar at the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford's School of Medicine. •Jon Kabat-Zinn, emeritus professor of medicine at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, and author of the mindfulness classic, Wherever You Go, There You Are. This was not an anti-technology crowd. Indeed, many of the attendees and speakers were young enough to be digital natives, immersed in omnipresent technology for their entire lives. Most of them had already launched successful careers, and were at the stage where they're charging ahead and hitting their strides. Having spent a large part of their lives getting acquainted with the benefits of technology, they are now increasingly realizing the costs. They're part of the growing awareness about the need for, well, growing awareness. Nobody is talking about going back to a pre-technology past, but there is plenty of talk about how many different ways there are to go forward. "We're done with this honeymoon phase and now we're in this phase that says, 'Wow, what have we done?'" said Soren Gordhamer. "It doesn't mean what we've done is bad. There's no blame. But there is a turning of the page." "It's this basic cultural recognition that people have a pathological relationship with their devices," said Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist who studies the science of self-control at Stanford's School of Medicine. "People feel not just addicted, but trapped." And we respond accordingly. Here's how Mark Williams, clinical psychology professor at Oxford, puts it: What we know from the neuroscience -- from looking at the brain scans of people that are always rushing around, who never taste their food, who are always going from one task to another without actually realizing what they're doing -- is that the emotional part of the brain that drives people is on high alert all the time ... So, when people think "I'm rushing around to get things done," it's almost like, biologically, they're rushing around just as if they were escaping from a predator. That's the part of the brain that's active. But nobody can run fast enough to escape their own worries. I also love his definition of mindfulness, that it "cultivates our ability to do things knowing that we're doing them." And the costs of living a frenetic life are devastating. Over the past 30 years, self-reported levels of stress have shot up 25 percent for men and 18 percent for women. According to Dr. Williams, if you look at stress levels over the decades, going back to the '50s, what you find is that by the '80s and '90s "the average level of anxiety was equivalent to clinical levels in the 1950s." We also know that stress costs American businesses an estimated $300 billion per year. And that sleep deprivation alone costs businesses over $63 billion per year. It's no wonder that 75 percent of our health care spending is spent on treatment of chronic diseases like diabetes, which afflicts over 25 million Americans, and high blood pressure, which 67 million have suffered from. So strategies that can counteract these trends aren't feel-good clichés, they're performance-enhancing tools. As Tony Schwartz, CEO of The Energy Project, wrote recently, "a new and growing body of multidisciplinary research shows that strategic renewal -- including daytime workouts, short afternoon naps, longer sleep hours, more time away from the office and longer, more frequent vacations -- boosts productivity, job performance and, of course, health." At the same time, there is growing skepticism around the ability of Big Data -- the increasing use of heretofore unimaginable amounts of data -- to solve problems. As Nassim Taleb writes, in a piece adapted from his new book, Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder, "Big data may mean more information, but it also means more false information." And even when the information is not false, the problem, as Taleb puts it, "is that the needle comes in an increasingly larger haystack." In addition, as David Brooks writes, "There are many things big data does poorly." Like, for instance, helping guide social interaction and decision making about social relationships. These are core human functions, things we're driven to do and, in fact, things our brains are very good at -- when we allow them to be. For social decisions, Brooks writes, "it's foolish to swap the amazing machine in your skull for the crude machine on your desk." So, yes, for some things Big Data is great. But as it creates more and more noise, for our inner voice to be heard, what we need to go along with Big Data is Big Wisdom. Because while there are many areas in which more data will be useful, at the core of the really big problems we're facing, as we go from crisis to crisis -- many of them self-inflicted or manufactured (hello, sequester!) -- isn't lack of data. It's lack of wisdom. At the end of my talk at Wisdom 2.0, Soren came on stage to interview me. Before we started, he said, "We're just gonna pause for a minute and let the audience digest some of what you just said... One of the things we try to do -- which isn't so easy at conferences -- is allow there to be some awesome content, but then allow there to be occasional pauses so that it can be digested." We're all so programmed to be constantly on the lookout for ways to become more productive and more efficient that we forget that none of this is very useful if we don't pause to digest it. On Saturday night, we had a small chance to walk the conference talk. The speakers were supposed to meet for dinner at seven at a nearby Asian restaurant. What we hadn't considered was the parade for Lunar New Year that was blocking our path. We tried to cross it this way and that way. We unsuccessfully tried to go into a subway entrance and pop back up on the other side. It was eight o'clock, and we were still walking. Just the kind of wrinkle our daily lives are full of and that so often leads to frustration and stress. Instead we were talking, laughing, walking and making the best of it. It wasn't that big of a deal -- it wasn't real hardship, and nobody's life was in danger -- but it was one of those everyday irritations that can so easily throw us out of balance. We eventually broke through -- but not with the help of a miracle app on one of the many iPhones our group had deployed. It was through good old-fashioned human connection -- we begged a policeman to let us cross. Sometimes the stakes will be small, like getting through a parade, but sometimes they'll be big. What's important is to find ways to step back, disconnect, reconnect with our own peace, strength, and wisdom -- and enjoy the unanticipated detours along the way. --- "craft" as article --- 07:05 LI-EIN Do you tweet? I've noticed that some Linked In groups (like this one) have a little birdy box next to the share button. I'm new to social media, am I right in assuming this means Linked In posts can be tweeted? I'm curious to hear your experiences of tweeting. I was averse to using it, but my passion is raising awareness of relationship issues and emotional wellbeing and I like the idea of using twitter to do this. How does it work for you? - Thanks, Elly, I've never noticed the tweety bird before! I just posted an article and off it went, so I'll start using it! Personally, I never got into Twitter much, as it seems more impersonal, but many love it. Many of my posts are automagically posted to Twitter, too, so I have a good following but never go there myself. I prefer Facebook and LinkedIn for the interaction, but as you said, we're about spreading the good word about EQ, whether we interact or not. Thanks for all you do for the world! --- Hey stinky... I realized that you are gonna be 60 and Paula's gonna be 65 on almost the same day! Any chance of making this a 'joint' (pun intended) birthday party for both of you?? You can tell your friends it's your birthday, but maybe you could invite Paula to join you in the celebration... cool, or no? Is your lease ending? Luv you!!!! --- 07:38 Damn, I did it again. got up before 5, and now it's almost 8, and I gotta go. did Lots, but NOT what was really important to me. damn. I got hyjacked by that Arianna Huffington post with all the stats in it... damn! no shower today, Tom's away and the door is locked. --- Name it to Tame it! Huffington GPS for the Soul (couldn't find it to download onto my phone) 75% of hospital costs are avoidable what is missing is Wisdom we women have to lead the way to redefine what Success is. not just touchy-feely, they are perfomance enhancement tools we can be successful and effective in a different way mindfulness is going main stream, big time! --- 09:00 bus from Lucky Dr. Wisdom 2.0, which is designed to address "the great challenge of our age: to not only live connected to one another through technology, but to do so in ways that are beneficial to our own well-being, effective in our work, and useful to the world." --- Euc Testimonial From: kristi shrader Date: Wed, March 06, 2013 9:10 am To: matt@2gethelp.com I just received my order, brought it home from the post office and opened the box and i was immediately happy. I started putting the branches in my gliders cage and he wakes up, pops out of his sack and starts playing and chewing on it all before i could even connect or lay the branches down. He loves them already! We all thank you so much for your great service and what you sent was beyond my expectations! And they already made our house smell amazing as well! I will definitely be making more purchases in the future and recommend you to everyone I know! Thank you again so much! Kristi --- "Without EQ, we have very smart people making very dumb decisions." --- 1:10 Mike Duffy, IMS (bcc: mcp) Here is one of the most compelling arguments I’ve seen for adding EI/EQ skills to employee development training! The article below discusses the huge cost figures associated with mis-handled stress in the workplace, how EI/EQ is going mainstream (Ford, LinkedIn, Congress, the Marines, universities, Google, etc.) as the secret gets out about the power of these skills, and even touches on how Big Data contributes. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html In the keynote address at Wisdom 2.0, they even claim that 75% of hospital admits are avoidable! - Matt ------------ mcp --------- “Without EQ, we have very smart people making very dumb decisions.” --- I am working the closest with the 2 prettiest girls here... nice! since 1 got her haircut --- Tucker, Amber L. (San Francisco) [3:41 PM]: The Voice of Knowledge. Written by the same guy who wrote The Four Agreements. I like the Voice better though. Don Miguel Ruiz I've had some pretty heavy stuff in my past, as well. It's tough getting over/thru it all... but if we do it right, we come out Stronger, (and happier) on the other side, ey? There's Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) -- OR -- Post-Traumatic Growth! (and the cool part is that it's up to us.) sent her my e to Mike Duffy nice... took our relationship to a whole new, deeper level. --- when I tell people about teaching classes, I keep hoping it will bring us closer, and they start asking questions/reaching out... but that's not usually what happens... they back off, and hide from me. not good. maybe it'd be better if I just said I'm dealing with, or interested in, or working thru, or the like... so we're more equal. --- Tucker, Amber L. (San Francisco) [4:44 PM]: I'm trying. I hang on to things...I'm trying to let go. Some things I never will though. Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) [4:44 PM]: I hear you. Letting go is sooo tuff, sometimes! Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) [4:46 PM]: but, also, that's where dealing with the feelings directly can really help. Not being able to let go often means that the feelings are still there, in our body Perelstein, Matt (San Francisco) [4:48 PM]: ... and then there's the (mostly unconscious) 'meanings' and belief systems that lie underneath the feelings. they get all tangled up together. ... much more... super cool convo... --- EQ-101.2 is on in a few hours for the first time... yay! proud of me/us. --- >> get cough medicine? Shruti? What's the Rx for your Dx? --- PSI nice walk good, not great presentation (see tons of notes) RAN back from 1500 Van Ness to the Ferry Building (in 23 min.) --- Hey you! I was just thinking about you tonight, and I actually 'pulled over' to write to you (I was walking thru downtown SF, but I still 'pull over' on the sidewalk to text/write), and boom, there was your email... very cool! Keep looking in Sac... I'm sure you'll find what you want! (just curious, are you and Cary dating, or just professional/friends?) Everyone will get used to your change... and if they don't, that's their prob, not yours. I'm sorry it's been so tedious for you to get this file cleaned up. Let me know if you want me to do some. Is it worth trying to find another PDF -> DOC converter that does a better job... or are you so far into it, it's just as well to finish it? Your efforts will be fruitful for years to come! A pic of the cover is also attached. Is it acceptable? How about $3.33? (I just like that number! Do you know the Hundredth Monkey theory? We need to get 3,333,333 people thru ND for spontaneious, world-wide consciousness!) THANKS! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EBook Conversion From: Erika Date: Wed, March 06, 2013 8:38 pm To: Matt Perelstein PS. Can you also send me the PDF, for reference once I'm done replacing the charts with graphics? -- >> update MattPerelstein.com, soon. -- “Be like the bird that, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she has wings.” -Victor Hugo "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy On Wed, Mar 6, 2013 at 8:27 PM, Erika wrote: a. Thanks! I'm mostly super excited (when I'm not busy being scared). I've told a lot of people by now and almost everyone has been very supportive. My mom was somewhat supportive, under a mask of negative questions. My boss Maggie seems resigned. She'd rather I stay but my current company has never given me much of a reason to. They're great people but lousy employers. The next big thing is finding an apartment. Cary and I went around on Saturday (he's making sure I end up in a good part of town) but a lot of the places were closed. I've spent a bunch of time looking online, and am taking the day off to go back on Friday and keep hunting. So far there's nothing I like as much as my current apartment, which is a great size and has lots of huge closets. b. My battle against the Annihilation Fearing Charts (TM) continues, amidst my online apartment hunting. It probably was the PDF to .doc conversion that did it. It makes a lot more sense knowing that, because of one of the things that was baffling me was how anyone would even go about making these charts in Word. They've got so many section breaks and column breaks that it's a wonder they hold together at all. @.o No work around so far, just saving often and perhaps undoing even more often. I've done a ton of Word formatting, which is why I'm usually super fast at it, but I've never seen a document's formatting become so wonky after deleting charts/graphics. c. I think somewhere in the $3.99-$5.99 range is good. Maybe $4.99? d. You're welcome! I'm glad to help! I wish it was going faster, but I what I wish I could do (completely eliminate all of the graphics by using Word's handy "paste as text only" tool!) isn't really an option. Doc would probably notice and people might get confused while reading the book. ;-) e. One more thing that I should have realized sooner... Do you have the cover for the book? --- We don't always need to know the deeper meaning of everything that happens in our lives. --- 3.7 00:00ish to bed 06:18 What every team needs http://askten.co.uk/resources/tips/what-every-team-needs The word "team" is so commonly used in today's organisations, most leaders are oblivious to its true meaning. Here are three characteristics a group must have to be considered a real team, and to maximise its potential: 1. A meaningful and common purpose. This is more than an outside mandate from the top of the organisation. To be successful, the team must develop and own its purpose. 2. Adaptable skills. Diverse capabilities are important. Effective teams rarely have all the skills they need at the outset. They develop them as they learn what their challenge requires. 3. Mutual accountability. You can't force trust and commitment. Agreeing on the team's goals is the first moment at which team members forge their accountability to one another. --- FB-EIN John Kyle DeLoach Matt, I'd like to go back to your original post, "...Americans aren't brought up with very high EQ." What kernels of truth are in this statement that we can expand on and reflect back on our (Americans posting on this thread) that would give this some legs to stand on. Just curious. 11 hours ago · Unlike · 1..Matt Perelstein Our parents didn't teach us EQ because they didn't know... no one knew before what we know now (IMHO), about how the brain, body, heart and soul are all so inter-connected and important. The generations before us were fear-based and should-based, but we refuse to live in that state of constant fear. So we, Americans and non, are yearning, searching and I'm happy to say, FINDing the root of our being, to be true to ourselves, to be fully expressed, and to live in a loving, giving, empathetic way where everyone wins (especially us)! mcp testimonial Suheyla Pinar Alper Great summary Matt..."we World EQ'ers" (and 2 likes -- which is lot for this group) --- EQ -> ER -> PR -> SR -> SINCE EQers are finding that 'being nice', and loving first, and giving all make us very happy, that makes us kinda selfcentered, doesn't it? we consciously become self-centered self-centered dictionary: Self-centered http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/self-centered adjective 1. concerned solely or chiefly with one's own interests, welfare, etc.; engrossed in self; selfish; egotistical. 2. independent, self-sufficient. 3. centered in oneself or itself. --- 06:42 What are Your Best Tips for Being a Great Leader? One example of a great leader jumps to mind: His Holiness the Dalai Lama! In my opinion, he's one of the most enlightened EQers on the planet, he offers love, acceptance and joy wherever he goes, he is usually light but can turn quite serious in an instant as the need arises, and he walks around with this cool little SMILE all the time, that shows that he 'gets it' and he 'walks the talk' (every time I see him mentioned, I smile, too!). I feel stronger, freer, and more capable due to words, and actions, that he has imparted, and that makes me WANT TO FOLLOW him... which to me, is the clearest sign of a great leader! Agree? Who else? (we have plenty of negative role models... let's consciously find Positive role models, please...) --- About His Holiness the Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people. His life is guided by three major commitments: the promotion of basic human values, the fostering of inter-religious harmony and the welfare of the Tibetan people. General Information Three Main Commitments of His Holiness the Dalai Lama Firstly, on the level of a human being, His Holiness’ first commitment is the promotion of human values such as compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment and self-discipline. All human beings are the same. We all want happiness and do not want suffering. Even people who do not believe in religion recognize the importance of these human v...alues in making their life happier. His Holiness refers to these human values as secular ethics. He remains committed to talk about the importance of these human values and shares them with everyone he meets. Secondly, on the level of a religious practitioner, His Holiness’ second commitment is the promotion of religious harmony and understanding among the world’s major religious traditions. Despite philosophical differences, all major world religions have the same potential to create good human beings. It is therefore important for all religious traditions to respect one another and recognize the value of each other’s respective traditions. As far as one truth, one religion is concerned, this is relevant on an individual level. However, for the community at large, several truths, several religions are necessary. Thirdly, His Holiness is a Tibetan and carries the name of the ‘Dalai Lama’. Tibetans place their trust in him. Therefore, his third commitment is to the Tibetan issue. His Holiness’ has a responsibility to act as the free spokesperson of the Tibetans in their struggle for justice. As far as this third commitment is concerned, it will cease to exist once a mutually beneficial solution is reached between the Tibetans and Chinese. However, His Holiness will carry on with the first two commitments till his last breath. --- 06:56 Carson Johns Well, I kinda wanted to sign up last night, but I had to RUN, literally, all the way to the ferry building, to catch the last one. You were done speaking at 9:10, the last ferry was at 9:35, so I had 25, made it in 23. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that this is not normal... I'll assume that you usually return emails and phone calls and keep your word when you say you'll ask if anyone was driving north, and maybe I'll assume that the chair issue threw you off or something... ... but it was not helpful in me feeling too good, or trusting, toward PSI. What do you think we should do about this, if anything? - Matt --- >> finish up IE's and EQRocks definitions tonight, after work won't be in any rush this time (yay!) --- 07:31 Elizabeth, MCTV Hi, a few things... 1. Yay for the first airing of EQ-101.2 last night! When again? 2. Will it be up on your site soon? 3. Would you guys make me a DVD of the EQ-101.2 finished show, to go along with EQ-101.3 unfinished, to pick up tomorrow, pretty please? 4. On this page, http://mendocoasttv.org/Lectures.html, our show listing needs a hard-return from the line above it... ... Egypt: Arab Spring or Military Coup? EQ- 101: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) ... Thanks. I've very proud of what we've accomplished together. My delivery, and content, needs a ton of work, but it makes me feel super good to 'get started' in bringing the amazing power of EQ to the world via video! Thanks for helping make that happen. - Matt --- 07:57 ~mcp_Quotes.txt It doesn't matter that much what actually happens, as much as what we Think, Feel and Believe about what happens! - mcp Aging is real. Maturing is optional. - mcp Too much emotion can be unhealthy, irresponsible and even dangerous. ... and so it seems that... Too little emotion can be unhealthy, irresponsible and even dangerous! Hopelessness is usually based on Powerlessness The minute I stopped caring about what I imagined that other people thought of me, and started caring more about what I thought of me, is the minute I finally felt FREE! any stress is a dis-ease in the body/mind/spirit/heart. continued stress leads to disease, in the body. Guilt is... we're not a hands off, left-brain our lecture on Friday night lasts about 3 minutes. we say, it's about feelings and we're gonna go dig 'em out... ready? if they say, Ok, we're off to the races. (even if they don't say Ok, but they stay in the room, we pretty much got 'em, anywayz!... people can't resist it very long... when they see a chance, an opportunity, to FINALLY feel safe enough to RELEASE all the crap that our body WANTS to get rid of... they're in. who or what are you angry at? tell us about it. We don't have anything better to do than to stand here and Listen to you, and encourage you, and love you, so that you can FINALLY get that monkey off your back. We WANT people to listen. We WANT to feel safe. We WANT to have someone give a damn enuf to listen to us... and not judge us. We really do... way down deep... we really do. Our bodies are saying (quietly, but it gets louder over time, the longer it's ignored): "Please, let me Release this crap I've been carrying around for 100 years. please. don't make me stuff this down inside me anymore. I can't eat enough or drink enough or drug enough to make it go away, so Please, let me release it. I don't want it, you don't want it, and it's just a HABIT to carry it around... please... I'm falling apart here, trying to keep the energy contained. I'm dying here, holding all this Poison inside of me... let it out and let it go. plrease. we can heal ALL of it, btu first we must be In Touch with it. be able to Touch it. release it. let er' rip, let it out and let it go. the feelings are the glue that hold the bs/meanings in place Primary and Secondary feelings(vulnerable / protected) Primary and Secondary thoughts. (conscious / unconscious) Primary and Secondary behaviours! (big actions or words / tone or body language) One of the best things we can do for a kid's (or anyone's) self-esteem -- Enjoy them! Together, we can get thru anything. Taking responsibility for our feelings puts us in control of our life! I don't want to be a controller, or a controlee. awareness is not the last step, it's the first step They say that people get older and wiser. We will definitely get older. We may or may not get wiser. Once we come to grips with the fact that we are 100% totally, completely responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, then and only then can we have full control over our lives. We Always Have Choices! We can see the world as happy or sad, as dangerous or wonderous, as scary or an adventure. We can see ourselves as victims or powerful, as leaders, followers or sabateurs, as a giver or taker We can love or hide, find peace or hatred, spread joy or pain, live for self or others. We can choose how we want to live our lives, from this day forward. laughter is one of the keys to sanity! --- 08:20 ferry with Nick talking EQ the whole time! walked to his work with him after great guy! --- 09:40 Make that 14! Friday, April 5, is my birthday, so I am taking me (and Paula) out to the movies! Since I'll be there, let me know if there's anything I/we need to do. Looking forward to it... - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Monk From: betsy ford Date: Thu, March 07, 2013 8:58 am To: Arlene Moorehead Cc: Bob Woelfel , Christine Wagner , Christine Rose , Melissa Howden , Pat Ferrero , Alex Fields , Ann Walker , Paul Kemp , Matt Perelstein Wow, off to a great start on this unique event, Melissa, Bob, Arlene, Christine and all! On 3/7/2013 7:36 AM, Arlene Moorehead wrote: Twelve tickets sold as of this am. Cheers, A --- mcp testimonial Mr. Perelstein, Matt: - We think, therefore we are... - Had never read the quote you provided but had pondered on the one shared above to reach the same conclusion... For you are absolutely right; - We are the CHOICES of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors... the problem stems from those who for one reason or another have not matured... are emotionally impaired... mentally, morally and spiritually challenged and therefore... display behaviors that demonstrate that they do not THINK, therefore they are incapable of rational CHOICES... Make it a great day! By Esperanza or Hope Reynolds --- Since my calendar is shared, I don't want to put appts for Fridays, during work hours. so I make them on Saturdays, knowing I mean Friday. oh, matt, you're sooo clever! --- Carson turns out he DID announce my ride last night, and folks said sure, but I had left! hmmm. good for me, having the experience of running that far (plus I'm not coughing anymore) bad that I didn't make it happen. - Well I'm glad you made it to the Ferry Building. Yes, I normally end by 9pm and the chairs did throw me off. I did however announce that you needed a ride and there were people there willing to take you, however you had left already apparently. I apologize for running late and not making your situation known earlier. Not sure about the comment of returning emails or phone calls. I'm usually really good about that. I am out of the office all day today doing a workshop for a company in Healdsburg. I hope we can connect soon. If the presentation for the Basic seminar is something you would like to pursue I would still highly suggest it. Cheers, Carson --- Yeehaa! Any idea when it might be available online? thx. - Matt - Matt, We are playing it Friday night at 7:30 - it will play other times over the next couple of weeks and then every once in a while. I am copying Earl on this so he can correct the listing on our page Mateo will make a copy for you to pick up tomorrow. We are glad you are happy- the show is a great start- there are a few things I would improve from our end if we do more- mainly the lighting. Elizabeth --- "Can you help me? I thought you were my friend. I tell you to enjoy life. I wish I could but it's too late." - Black Sabbath, 'Paranoid' - "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you." - Neil Young, "Old Man" "Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can. A brotherhood of man. They say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. - John Lennon and the Beatles, 'Imagine' 'Take on me' - A-ha "Life is a series of hellos and good-byes, and I'm afraid it's time for a good-bye, again." - Billy Joel, 'Say Good-bye to Hollywood' --- I'm pretty much tired ALL the time why would I WANT to be tired, ALL the time? my life is going EXACTLY the way I made it! ER + EQ is the key to having power and control over our lives! responsibility/attitude + concepts/skills/language --- this list is being typed to look like I'm busy doing something, when I'm not really. --- 12:18 Movies sounds great! Well Dina introduced us to a new interem director. So I think I am out of here. I will start taking my sick leave and vacation, and use them up, then give notice. I can start doing EucProducts on my days off. I am leaving for court soon then not coming back. Don't email me at work use this email. Love you PKP the wife (yikes) --- 2:40 Matt, thanks for following-up. Lots of breadth in the Huffpo article – particularly liked: "strategic renewal -- including daytime workouts, short afternoon naps, longer sleep hours, more time away from the office and longer, more frequent vacations -- boosts productivity, job performance and, of course, health." Think I need more renewal myself… Looping in Michele (re LDR) and Patty (re elearning) Matt, still solidifying priorities, strategies etc but two thoughts a month in: 1. Any learning that is self-directed (online, etc) is fair game – anything solid, concise (and free / low cost)? Patty, anything already in Skillsoft around this? 2. We’ve identified a need to develop tools for high potential leaders who are “derailed” by 1 or more behaviors. EI/EQ certainly a factor – are you aware of any specific courses / approaches that map to this. As with #1, overall theme is less traditional classroom and more blended approaches, etc. Thanks, Mike (Duffy) --- 3:41 Josh Freedman Hey Josh, remember that I was talking to our new Chief Learning Officer re: EQ… here are his response(s) below. (see especially #2 in his most recent message). Any suggestions on how to reply? Thanks. - Matt - Go Matt!! Yes! 1. Maybe www.freedmanTV.com would be useful?? 2. Of course, yes, the SEI! We offer a 3-month coaching package that is exactly right for this, but it's not cheap... 3mo coaching is $3k, it includes assessments as needed, at least SEI pre & post, plus 10+ coaching sessions, plus email support. Typically we involved the person's supervisor near the start and again at the end. For people who are less senior and they don't want to spend that much, we can do a SEI + 3 coaching sessions and summary report which is $1k. How do you think it would be best to float this? Maybe, "Yes - I have a great idea. Can I introduce you to have a discussion on this with someone I highly recommend" ?? Marilynn, who I think you've met, is the person who does a lot of this coaching, though Alex & Jay also do. Warmly, - Josh - Josh and Alex: Hi Alex -- welcome to our discussion thread! We're trying to win over our new CLO (we have over 10,000 employees worldwide, and he's at HQ in Pennsylvania). We've got his attention... now we need to get him actively involved and see what else we can provide him... please read the thread, so far). To me, there are 2 distinct opportunities here... 1. Those leaders who have 'derailed' to get back on track. 2. Ongoing education of leaders (and followers) So, freedmantv.com sounds good, but I'm not sure he'll take the step to pay to watch the video. What would you think about comp'ing him your collection, so he can watch a bunch of them at once? There's no telling which/what he's most interested in, and the potential here far outweights http://managementnetworks.com/collection/joshua-freedman-videos How about if I ask him to take the SEI himself, and Alex (or Marilynn or Yoshimi) can do his debrief, so he'll know first-hand what he'd be suggesting to others? He seems to want some 'triage' on 'derailed' leaders, and the SEI could be wonderful for this! I'll also offer him your 1- & 3-month coaching programs (which sounds perfect for 'derailed leaders'). The coaching can all be done remotely, right?. On the next email, I'm planning to introduce/CC: at least Josh, to let him know ya'll's extensive qualifications/experience/abilities... ok? What other thoughts do you have? Thanks for your help. This could be significant! - Matt - Jim and Shruti, I wanted to make you aware of a conversation I've been having with Mike Duffy, IMS's new CLO (Chief Learning Officer). I have unique experience in 'Emotional Intelligence' (see below for more), and he seems interested in adding these important right-brain skills to IMS's training regimen. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. - Matt --- 5:30 EQ101.2 is Online!!! sent link to Paula http://mendocoasttv.org/EQ101P2.html Animated GIF http://ia801602.us.archive.org/3/items/7631EQ101P2/7631-EQ101P2.gif Thumbnail http://ia801602.us.archive.org/3/items/7631EQ101P2/7631EQ101P2.thumbs%2F7631-EQ101P2_000090.jpg --- 6ish got to tell Dr. Naveen Bobba about EQ, she read DGoleman's book wrote down the LinkedIn groupname I sent her invite to connect, and reminded about the group (can't do links in a LI invite) 7:00 nice warm car in parking lot my home for the night 7:15ish SR, I have a salad, I'm tired, I'm NOT in a rush tonight I like it here... and I may just stay tonight... or at least crash for awhile. 7:33 FB-EIN Fantastic article - powerful arguments - real, compelling stats on EQ - and then watch Arianna Huffington's keynote to Wisdom 2.0 where they introduce a new downloadable app "GPS for the Soul" which helps us monitor and control our stress. Really great stuff... check it out! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html --- FB-ND FB-NDG We learn from what we lived, as a child. What did you live? downloaded ChildrenLearnWhatTheyLive.jpg... really good graphic. --- Uploading EQ-101.2 to YouTube (MattAttack7777) listened to Sheila's interview... (watched 50x) there's like 10-12 Wonderful soundclips re: ND!! "It saved my marriage" "Help me bring up kids that I not only like, and love!" etc. EQ-101, Show 2: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence - Emotional Healing http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg Emotional healing can help us 'get over' almost anything! See how emotions are created, how they join with our Thoughts to create our Behaviours, and step-by-step how to unravel our web of feelings to live clearer, lighter and with more joy and love in our hearts! trying to get a nice screenshot from video to use as Thumbnail, but it keeps coming out mostly black! EQ-101.2 is ON!! Our 2nd TV episode is now available, where Paula? and I focus on the emotional healing part of EQ (something we know a bit about) and she takes me thru the Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behaviour exercise. It turned out pretty good, I think. Leave a comment, if you would, even if you don't watch the whole thing! I'm proud of us. --- Daniel Goleman - Working with Emotional Intelligence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPocFijPKxA (1:10:36) --- 2nd Saturday is this weekend --- shutting down IE after a week, so here's goes Beware the Big Errors of ‘Big Data’ http://www.wired.com/opinion/2013/02/big-data-means-big-errors-people/ Wisdom 2.0 http://new.livestream.com/accounts/2635433/events/1887199/videos/12426897 Relax You'll be more Productive http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/10/opinion/sunday/relax-youll-be-more-productive.html Chronic Diseases The Power to Prevent, The Call to Control: At A Glance 2009 http://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/resources/publications/aag/chronic.htm Stress at Work is Bunk for Business http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/08/02/stress-at-work-is-bunk-for-business/ Stress and mindfulness Mark Williams, co-founder of Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), on the history of stress. http://www.mindful.org/in-body-and-mind/stress-and-mindfulness-a-primer American women, young people are more stressed than their counterparts, study shows http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57453502-10391704/american-women-young-people-are-more-stressed-than-their-counterparts-study-shows/ Silicon Valley Says Step Away From the Device http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/24/technology/silicon-valley-worries-about-addiction-to-devices.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 My Weekend at the Happiest Place on Earth (No, It Wasn't Disneyland) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html Human Emotions Alter Water Molecules http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1-0ulKgmio&feature=youtu.be Crying doesn't mean you are weak. It means that you are being real about your feelings....that you are being open and honest. That you are without guile. Guile in Hebrew means mask. 10ish pause 11:57 up --- 3.8 00:27 Fraser --- 00:39 pack dirties, and left over milk and spinach, and go... --- nice. didn't even get tired (much) good plan got home about the same time as usual. to SR, eat, finish up, nappage from 9 or 10 'til 12 get up and go. home by 5 or 6 then slept a few hours 07:50 up --- EQ-101.1 has 1 person in it. .2 has 2 people .3 has 3. it's gonna start getting crowded! EQ-101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1 http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw EQ-101.2 http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg --- PP = 2697 -200 Dental Suite -75 BPT for Monk --- Hi Matt Just watched the video u and Paula made its fantastic!!!! Can I share this with Family and friends ??? Will help explan better then me !!! mcp testimonials, pkp testimonials Wish you and Paula were here , miss u both Your both great people , loving , caring thank u for that - Ricci Choate Janie Monsalve Shogren Matt and Paula, I am sending this to many who asked me about ND. I think you both did a wonderful job explaining the purpose of being aware of feelings. Matt, your sweet spirit shows through. It felt very professional, but not so rehearst. It made me feel gratefull to have you both in my life. Love to both. --- Since Franklin Roosevelt - the 32nd President of the United States of America - took office on 4th March 1933 and declared the "100 Day Plan" as part of his New Deal in the depths of the Great Recession, leaders throughout --- 11:49 LI-EIN (44,458x) STARTED ON: March 20, 2008 COMMENTS LAST WEEK 354 DISCUSSIONS LAST WEEK 22 PROMOTIONS LAST WEEK 68 NEW MEMBERS LAST WEEK 173 WEEK OVER WEEK GROWTH RATE 12% SENIORITY 26% Senior, 16% Manager, 15% Entry, 9% Owners, 9% Directors, 45 VPs FUNCTION 9% Education, HR 6%, Consulting 6% LOCATION 3% Greater New York City Area, Pakistan, India, San Francisco, Toronto, New Delhi INDUSTRY 6% Professional Trainers Follow Bruna I have often come across the reference that "Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more." I have not found the research to support the assertion. Do you know where I can access this information? Bruna, you might check with George Anderson (do a search in members of this group), as one of his niche's is doing Executive Coach for Disruptive Physicians (i.e. - anger management), so I'm sure he's heard some wild stories. Let us know what you find, as I'm most interested in your results! --- To copy pics from facebook, what I do is left-click directly on the pic, to get it open in it's own window. Once it's larger, right-click on it and choose 'Save image as...' and save it somewhere on your PC. Then, you can post it yourself, print it, send it as an attachment, or whatever. Ok? --- Scientists say they have published the most detailed brain scans “the world has ever seen” as part of a project to understand how the organ works. http://inside-the-brain.com/2013/03/08/weekly-neuroscience-update-39/ Psychologists at the University of Amsterdam (UvA) have discovered that changes in patterns of brain activity during fearful experiences predict whether a long-term fear memory is formed. New findings about how the brain functions to suppress pain have been published in the leading journal in the field Pain, by National University of Ireland Galway (NUI Galway) researchers. For the first time, it has been shown that suppression of pain during times of fear involves complex interplay between marijuana-like chemicals and other neurotransmitters in a brain region called the amygdala. --- (from EQ-1-1.2...) EMFB Take one issue that is not working for you. You can even start with your behaviour and figure out what it is, "I'm not getting what I want" and work it backwards this is how I feel about that... and hmmm, these are what my meanings might be... it's really a great exercise because the whole concept is about becoming consciously aware of how our feelings are directing us, instead of letting unconscious feelings trigger us. - pkp, EQ-101.2 ----------- mcp ----------- Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves affects us inside ourselves. - Stephen R. Covey things are always gonna go on around us --- 3.9 (slept 11 hours! 'cause I have a cold) -------------- mcp --------------- One often calms one's grief by recounting it. - Pierre Cornielle (1606 - 1684) -------------- mcp ------------- Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. - Lois Wyse Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be. - Jon Bon Jovi --- Ray Mathis • There is always a reason. We all create all kinds of cognitive and emotional "ruts" in our brains from practicing and rehearsing thinking and feeling certain ways, good and bad, The thoughts these "tuts" in our brain give rise to become very automatic because of that. These thoughts are like our theories and hypotheses about the way life is or should be. Some of them are helpful, and many often make us feel worse than necessary or helpful. It's easy to slip into such "ruts" without being fully aware that we do. Just like it's easy for your tires to slip into "ruts" on a real dirt road.. It's important to become aware of what our old familiar thoughts and feelings are, especially the dysfunctional ones, the old familiar cognitive and emotional paths in our brains that we've gone down many times in the past, lest we keep going down them without realizing it. The brain is ALWAYS trying to make sense out of what's going on around us, always looking for threats, evaluating them. It does this at a very automatic level as well. That can be a good thing or bad as well. It can be life saving at times. But sometimes it allows us to slip into some olf "rutted" theories and hypotheses about the way our lives are or should be that can bum us out, and we might not fully understand why. I always ask mayself "So what does what's happening now remind me of that might have happened in the past?" My brain has to be picking up some familiar pattern that caused me to slip into my old "ruts", even if I can't see it clearly. It takes some time sometimes, but usually there's an answer. There's an old saying, "Look at your past, but don't stare at it" I think that fits here. Then there's also that old adage, "Those who don't learn from their history are doomed to repeat it" I think that fits hears as well. --- (PKP)(!) to McD's to Josh Lobue's varsity baseball game bases loaded 4 innings in a row, almost 5. 2 runs scored. they ended up winning on a balk. bizarre, but fun. Bella came with to Papa Murphy's / Rite Aid / Harvest home 5:30 - 8:30 IMS work for Shruti 8:37 movies done for the night "" with Demi Moore and Michael Caine, good! Roar, 1st 4 episodes, pretty good --- 3.10 00:00 still Roaring... 02:00 (which is now 03:00 'cause of Dayling Savings Time) Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher IQ + EQ = INSIGHT! - Josh Freedman The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore -- 08:22- FB-Fam Hey look, Paula? and I are on TV -- woohoo!! EQ-101.2 http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg --- 08:29 Created ND May 17 Fresno event on FB https://www.facebook.com/events/437514599667985/ --- 08:39 FB-EIN Hi. I'm proud to announce the 2nd in our EQ-101 TV series, this one on Emotional Healing with EQ! We walk thru a powerful exercise called Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behaviour we do in our workshops that shows how it all begins, and how to unravel it all so we can heal the fear, anger, pain and grief from our past. I'm excited to hear your feedback... Enjoy! EQ-101.2 http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:39) --- Top 10 findings from the 2011 General Lifestyle Suvey http://askten.co.uk/resources/10s/top-10-findings-2011-general-lifestyle-suvey The 2011 General Lifestyle Survey Overview report marks 40 years of results from a continuous household survey. The survey started in 1971 as the General Household Survey and has been carried out every year since then, except for breaks in 1997/98 (when the survey was reviewed) and 1999/2000 when the survey was redeveloped. Over the past 40 years the survey has monitored changes in the demographic, social and economic characteristics of households, families and people in Great Britain. Among the key changes measured by the survey during this time are: 1. The fall in average household size is due to an increase in the proportion of one-person households, which almost doubled between 1971 and 1998 (rising from 17% of households in 1971 to 29% in 1998) and has remained similar since (31% in 2011). 2. In 1971 92% of families with dependent children were headed by a married or cohabiting couple, by 2011 this had fallen to 78% of families. Over the same period the proportion of one-parent families tripled from 8% in 1971 to 22% in 2011. 3. The proportion of adults living alone almost doubled between 1973 and 2011 (9% and 16%). The increase in single adult households has been among adults aged 25-44 – adults in this age group were five times more likely to live alone in 2011 (10%) than in 1973 (2%). 4. The proportion of dependent children who are the only dependent child in their family has risen steadily from 18% in 1971 to 26% in 2011. This increase is reflected in the fall in average number of dependent children in families from 2.0 in 1971 to 1.7 in 2011. 5. The proportion of women aged 18 to 49 who were married has fallen from around three-quarters (74%) in 1971 to slightly fewer than half (47%) in 2011. Between 1971 and 2011 the proportion of women aged 18 to 49 who were cohabiting tripled, from 11% in 1979 to 34% in 2011. 6. The prevalence of cigarette smoking among adults has fallen from 45% in 1974 to 20% in 2011. The average number of cigarettes smoked per day by men has slowly declined since the early 1980s, from 17 in 1982 to 13 in 2011. Among women the average number of cigarettes consumed per day has remained constant over the 40 years with the average number of cigarettes smoked per day staying between 12 and 14 throughout that time. 7. The proportion of men and women drinking on 5 or more days a week fell from 23% of men in 1998 to 16% in 2011, and from 13% to 9% for women. This decline has occurred in the last five years, since 2007 (see below). 8. The proportion of men aged 16-24 who were heavy drinkers fell by almost a third between 2007 and 2011 (32% in 2007 compared with 22% in 2011), and among women aged 16-24 the proportion who were heavy drinkers fell by a quarter (24% in 2007 compared with 18% in 2011) (see below). 9. The proportion of men, working full-time, who were members of their employer’s occupational pension scheme has fallen from 64% in 1989 to 53% in 2011. Among women working full-time, there has been very little change since 1989 with the proportion rising slightly from 55% in 1989 to 60% in 2002 and then remaining very stable at around 58% during the decade up to 2011. 10. Since 1972 the proportion of households with consumer durables has change dramatically: access to a telephone has increased from 42% to almost all households (100%) (this includes mobile telephones); washing machines have increased from 66% to 96%; central heating has increased from fewer than two-fifths (37%) to almost all households (98%). The proportion of households with access to at least one car or van has increased from half (52%) in 1972 to three-quarters (76%) in 2011. Since the GHS first asked about home computers in 1984, the proportion of households with one has risen from 9% (1984) to 80% in 2011. As a nation, we may be grossly underestimating the amount we drink. Millions of adults are fooling themselves - or lying to health agencies - about their alcohol intake, classifying themselves as moderate drinkers when in fact they are "bingers". The claim, reports the Daily Express, is made by a team of researchers who have calculated how much alcohol Britons collectively admit to consuming, compared it to the amount sold - and have found a mismatch. They say that unless an awful lot of wine and beer is being poured down the drain, we're drinking 40% more than we profess to. Once this under-reporting is taking into account, the average consumption for over-16s in the UK rises to 20.5 units a week, from the 12.3 units depicted by surveys that relay on self-assessment. More dramatically, the researchers, from University College London, say their figures indicate that half the adult population are binge drinkers, although only 13% of women and 22% of men admit to being in this category. --- Empathy Video, Cleveland Clinic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8 --- 08:52 EucProducts income, no sales tax 25000 x 8.5% CA sales tax = $2100 + penalties and interest so she didn't file last year EP made $28,243.08 in 2012 plus Fed self-employment taxes (1099 income) PP = 2846 PayPal's IRS Links & FAQs https://cms.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/marketingweb?cmd=_render-content&content_ID=marketing_us/IRS6050W Internal Revenue Code (IRC) Section 6050W states that all US payment processors, including PayPal, are required by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) to provide information to the IRS about certain customers who receive payments for the sale of goods or services through PayPal. PayPal is required to report gross payments received for sellers who receive over $20,000 in gross payment volume AND over 200 separate payments in a calendar year. In order to help you understand these changes, we have prepared the following FAQs. Questions? Login to your account or call 1-877-569-1129. --- Colette Herrick commented on I have often come across the reference that "Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more." I have not found the research to support the... "Safety and quality are vital areas of focus in health care today. Disruptive behavior has been demonstrated to have an adverse impact ... "more… "Safety and quality are vital areas of focus in health care today. Disruptive behavior has been demonstrated to have an adverse impact on the nursing shortage, incidence of adverse events and clinical outcomes. Alan Rosenstein has published extensively on this (see a few citations below). In one study from 142 acute care, not for profit facilities, 1/3 of 2,562 healthcare provider respondents noted nurses leave organizations because of disruptive behavior. I have coached "disruptive" physicians who are significant contributors to the bottom line of an organization, yet when they go to the operating room, nobody wants to be the one assigned to working with him/her or be in the same room anywhere! When coached to consciously develop emotional intelligence (as their careers are at stake) the clients I have worked with have gone from wreaking havoc to raising their EQ and reducing their own suffering and that of their colleagues and likely their patients. This has been among my most gratifying client to work with. - Rosenstein, A.; Lauve, R., Russell. H. "Disruptive Physician Behavior Contributes to Nursing Shortage" The Physician Executive, November-December 2002, p. 8-11 - Rosenstein, A., O’Daniel, M. "Disruptive Behavior and Clinical Outcomes: Perceptions of Nurses and Physicians" American Journal of Nursing Vol. 105 No.1 January 2005 p.54-64 - Rosenstein, A., O’Daniel, M. “Negative Behavior and Clinical Outcomes” Nursing Management Vol.36 No.1 January, 2005 p.18-28 " --- 11 - 5:30 Herban Legend http://www.co.mendocino.ca.us/auditor/pdf/SalesTaxRates2012.pdf Effective July 1, 2012, the Sales Tax rates in Mendocino County are as follows: City of Fort Bragg...............................................8.375% using HerbanLegend.mdb Numeric Keypad = - (on my laptop) 12+ books of retail sales 2011-2012 Sales Report, by month [Enter Year] --- What is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE? http://us2.campaign-archive1.com/?u=a3d3df2e9a369b838b02c11d4&id=e4db4371b5 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) rose to prominence with Daniel Goleman's 1995 Book called 'Emotional Intelligence'. The early Emotional Intelligence theory was originally developed during the 1970's and 80's by the work and writings of psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey (Yale) and John Mayer (New Hampshire). Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organisations such as schools because the EQ principles provide a new way to understand and assess people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes, interpersonal skills, and potential. Emotional Intelligence links strongly with concepts of love and spirituality: bringing compassion and humanity, and measures the range of capabilities people possess. Goleman identifies the five domains of Emotional intelligence; 1. Knowing your emotions. 2. Managing your own emotions. 3. Motivating yourself. 4. Recognising and understanding other people's emotions. 5. Managing relationships, ie., managing the emotions of others. --- Finding Joe: A Must See Documentary For Everyone http://www.beafields.com/2013/03/finding-joe-a-must-see-documentary-for-everyone/?goback=%2Egde_75300_member_221412473 --- 5:58 to office order labels PP = 2,865.46 --- ,orders (25x) ,start after Erin Gorman ,Meg Greene not sent $75 - no name & address? ,UK order, not done zoo ,Heather Keating S x ,Brian (S, but...) 2-20"x1' (for ladders) bark, x, leaves ,Haddas / Dianne 1/2lb of leaves, 1/4 gumnuts, 1/4 branch and a card. ,Heather Penneger 1C = 1/2L and 2-2'x1" ,David Whiteperry 31 Junewood Dr Levittown, PA 19055 1L, 4-1' MA >> get more gift cards --- "Snatch" with Brad Pitt EXCELLENT!, bizarre, funny, compicated, very entertaining! Brad likes the down and dirty stuff, I think... and he's wonderful at it. orders with PKP for a few then 'til midnight+ --- 3.11 00:30 to the coach for a bit Bella behind my legs, Carmel kitty in front of me. but still nice! 05:50 up and go more orders --- LI-EIN How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone (mcp testimonial) Matt has it right. I would only add one thing. I know it doesn't start with an A, but I would add Follow Up. After the forgiveness, do a check in, especially if there are ongoing actions in progress to make it right (like BP in the Gulf). Follow up and check-in are essential, otherwise the apology gets forgotten. I use the question "How can I make it right?" or "What can I do to earn your forgiveness?" and if it's an ongoing thing, like re-building trust, "How are we doing?" Just some thoughts. By Julia Marrocco - How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone Many good points in these comments. Ken Blanchard, author of the One Minute Manager, later added the One Minute Apology and even wrote an additional small book on this subject. One tip that he mentions is: generally, do NOT put your apology in writing (email, social media) as it could be used against you later. The written word does lack the emotional content/context. By Bob Brooks - How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone We did some work on this with a group last year: Here were our "Golden Rules" feel free to adapt and use: 1. Accept responsibility for your actions. 2. Accept the reported impact your actions have had on people. 3. Acknowledge the importance of the issue. 4. Do not, ever, use IF 5. Do not blame other people. Best wishes, to all, John By John Dooner - AND......Apologize to yourself. You must recognize and accept that forgiveness may never happen no matter what you do. This should not stop you from learning, expressing, and believing in the fine art of apology. Excellent topic and great comments! By Diane Lacen - Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ IQ + EQ = Discernment :-) By Susan McNeal Velasquez - Emotions 101: How to Reveal and Heal What You Feel http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-wachter/managing-emotions_b_2717206.html We basically have three options once we identify that we are having a feeling: 1. We can implode (i.e., stuff it down, avoid it or pretend it's not there). 2. We can explode (i.e., blast it out disrespectfully or destructively). 3. We can express it safely and appropriately. - One of the most important aspects of being human is the fact that we have feelings -- all day long. And yet, rarely are we taught healthy ways to cope with them. Who among us learned about coping with emotions in school? And how on earth did such an important lesson get glossed over? How many of us were taught in our families that it's healthy and healing to cry or safely express our anger? (And this is not because our parents or teachers were bad people. In most cases, it's because they were not taught how to deal with emotions themselves!) Sure, some fortunate people had an amazing relative or teacher who was really safe and welcoming of feelings, but for the most part, that is not the common case. Most of us were raised with well-intentioned messages to stop crying immediately (presumably so that we would feel better). Little did our innocent caregivers know that telling us not to cry, or giving us a cookie or a bottle every time we were sad, might give our little brains the message that expressing sadness is not okay and we should keep it down. As for anger, most of us were told to go to our rooms and come out when we were ready to behave. Again, well-intentioned and likely meant to help us be good rather than what it really did -- which was teach us to hold in our anger (which then leaks out later in inappropriate ways or "leaks in" on ourselves in the form of self-criticism, depression or addiction). So what do we do with feelings if we are not going to stuff them down or blast them out in hurtful or destructive ways? How do we cope with emotions so they do not transform and manifest into addictions, anxiety or depression? Well, I'm glad you asked! For those of you who never got the lesson on Emotions 101, here are the basics: In the same way that there are primary colors and secondary colors, human beings have four primary emotions and many secondary ones. The four primary emotions are: sadness, anger, fear and happiness (with an array of variations on each, for example, irritation and rage are lesser and greater degrees of anger). Our natural state is to be present and at peace. Then when a feeling arises, if we are healthy and not lost in depression, obsession or addiction, we experience and express that feeling and then return to peace and presence. Just look at children. They are in the present moment. When a feeling is triggered they may need to cry or have a tantrum. If their feelings are welcomed, acknowledged and validated, and they are done fully expressing their emotions, they move back to being present again. Sounds simple enough, right? But coming from a culture that is addicted to the pursuit of happiness and avoidant of the more challenging emotions, most of us are taught at a very young age to stuff down our feelings. We are too often fed or given a pacifier when we are sad, or scolded and sent to our rooms when we are mad. So many of us have been taught that there are good and bad feelings when in truth, all feelings are natural and need to be expressed safely. And when they are, they naturally move through us. It's when we stuff them down and/or blast them out that we end up getting into trouble. (And by trouble, I mean feeling depressed, obsessed or addicted to something.) Depression, anxiety, addiction and obsessive thinking are all good attempts to avoid and distract from feelings but in the long run, they don't work. Letting out our feelings in a safe manner is what helps us move through them and return to peace. It's healing and natural to express our feelings. In fact, crying has proven health benefits. Scientists have examined and compared the tears that are produced by onions with the tears that are produced by emotions. While the tears caused by onions were made of 98 percent water, the tears that were caused by emotions contained actual toxins. So crying is actually one way the body has of healing itself. When you allow yourself to cry, you are releasing and relieving yourself of toxins! Crying also helps to remove chemicals and hormones that are stored in our body from stress. That's why people will sometimes say they feel relieved after letting themselves cry. Of course it's not easy or fun to cry or to be angry, but it is essential in order to achieve emotional health. The need to express feelings is as natural as having to go to the bathroom. If we have a feeling and we hold it in, then we are not going to feel well or be well. Many of us treat our feelings as if they need to be figured out or fixed. What they really need is to be welcomed and felt. We basically have three options once we identify that we are having a feeling: We can implode (i.e., stuff it down, avoid it or pretend it's not there). We can explode (i.e., blast it out disrespectfully or destructively). We can express it safely and appropriately. Too often, we tell ourselves that we shouldn't have our feelings or that we shouldn't bother anyone with them. We judge ourselves as weak. We tell ourselves we can't talk about it or that we don't know how. So many of us then end up using substances or obsessing on something or going into a dark place of depression in attempt to distract and numb ourselves from the feeling or in an attempt to get some comfort for it. This might work temporarily, as most distractions do, but then we end up with the same original feelings inside, plus on top of that, feeling badly about ourselves or our behavior (or lack of behavior, in the case of depression). So let's say you decide you want to learn how to have a healthier relationship to your emotions. What to do next? There are basically two parts: One part is about is how you let them out and the other part is about what you put back in. In order to let your feelings out, it is important to find safe people to take your feelings to. A safe person is someone you feel accepted by and comforted from, whether that is a professional, a friend or a family member -- and eventually, yourself! The second part is learning to receive kindness, compassion and comfort for your feelings. We need to receive comfort not only from others but from ourselves as well. It's important to know that all emotions come in waves. Sometimes small, manageable waves. Sometimes medium-sized, and sometimes, big tidal waves. The next time you experience a wave of emotion, see if you can tell yourself that it will pass. Try saying something soothing, nurturing and comforting to yourself and/or doing something soothing (and non-harmful) for yourself. This could be talking with someone you feel safe with, journaling, drawing or creating some art to express how you feel. The key here is to find the emotion inside of you and see how it would want to come out (safely). The more compassionate and kind you are toward yourself when you are having feelings, the sooner and more successfully those feelings will move through you. And once you are comfortable with all your emotions, there is no longer anything to avoid or fear. Whatever the feeling is, you welcome it up and return to peace and presence until the next wave comes. We all need a safe port in a storm so that when life gets hard, we have someplace to land. For many, their "safe" place to land is obsessive thinking or checking out in some way. When you can turn to internal soothing and external support, then you always have truly safe places to land that do not leave you feeling worse afterward. And you will have learned the most important lesson in life: how to reveal and heal what you feel. Andrea Wachter, LMFT is co-founder of InnerSolutions Counseling Services and co-author of The Don't Diet, Live-It Workbook. Her private practice is in Northern California and she also offers a low-cost teleconference for anyone worldwide, who is suffering from stress, anxiety, depression or addictions. Andrea is an inspirational counselor, author and teacher who brings professional experience as well as personal recovery to those she works with. For more information on her book or her Stress Less Teleconference, please visit http://www.innersolutions.net/book.php#class. --- 08:36 go (late!) but, does it matter? --- 12:52 SR wait for 2:15 ferry - In great deed, something abides. On great fields, something stays. Forms change and pass, bodies disappear but spirits linger to consecrate ground for the vision place of the soul. And reverent men and women from afar and generations that know us not and that we know not of, shall come here to ponder and to dream and the power of the vision shall pass into their souls. - JOSHUA LAWRENCE CHAMBERLAIN ER is the first to EQ. The one think that all these have in common is the people/things/experiences/communications/ conversations/empathy/compassion/teamwork, all of it, is premised on 1 thing. Emotional Responsibility. I, me, myself, and only me, hereby proclaim that I am 100% totally, completely, and unequicobly RESPONSIBLE for my own Thoughts, Feelings and especially my Behaviours. Nobody can make me think or feel anything without my permission, and certainly no one can make me 'react' so I/we hold the ultimate power and control over our lives! Sticks and stones my break my bones, but NO BODY can 'make' me think or feel anything without my permission/involvement. Once people have taken this leap, the natural next step is Personal Responsibility, where people take control of their entire lives (work, relationships, health, Emotional Responsibility + Whole Brain Wisdom >> write to her re: MikeD Colette Herrick commented on I have often come across the reference that "Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more." I have not found the research to support the... "Hello Ray, great metaphor, "humility injection." Right now, not aware of any transition data. What I've found with a few clients, is that they really just did not know, LImited awareness, a lack of distinctions, blind spots...you know the stuff we all have in one way or another at one time or another. Opening up the world of emotional intelligence and leadership competencies that drive, not just surface success, but below the surface success is like learning a new language. For example, I worked with one surgeon who came from a very privileged background and had an "arrogant, demanding" father who also was a surgeon. He wanted to build a world class practice in an academic environment and could not get his staff to perform. It was all 'their fault" yet his Dept Chair was also frustrated with him and his "arrogance and inability to build relationships." This doc tried telling the staff what to do, giving them money on the side and belittling in front of others for "low performance." While his vision was noble, his actions were devastating. Simple things like being aware of his own verbal and non-verbal behavior, bringing more curiosity and shifting from telling to inquiring at a ratio of 1:1 made a profound difference. A new world opened up for him. Not sure that anecdote gets to your question. It makes me smile writing it though as this client not only achieved his vision but became a much more fulfilled person/doctor in the process! " --- Is there scientific proof we can heal ourselves? Lissa Rankin, MD, TED http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWQfe__fNbs Can the mind heal the body? the Placebo effect, an inconvenient truth it's a problem. innate self-repair mechanisms spontaneous remission project 3500 gotten better stage 4 cancer, HIV pos-> HIS neg autoimmune diseases -> Gone. guy wanted 10 days praising treviosin depression cancer came back that wasn't the good stuff injected distilled water... rockin' and rollin' died 3 babies were hexed the opposite, no-cebo effect Can the mind heal the body? yes Can the heart heal the body? yes Together, can they do magic? YES!!! 18-80% of people get better married, optimists, happy, what's happening in the brain that makes the body change? negative thought or feeling or pessimistic amygdala says Warning, Warning The Stress Response, of fight or flight switch on, switch off relaxing response, explains placebo effect compassionate healthcare provider can't turn on when stress is too high meditate, creative, yoga, work you love, exercise, make love, play with animals, ... Mind of Medicine we've lost respect for the body's ability to heal itself spontaneous remissions from incurable diseases healthcare gets arrogant, think we've better than nature patients need to help, don't just 'turn it over ' to healthcare providers millions shoulder to shoulder, facing North streaming light on their face stand with me for a moment, it's gonna take all of us there are no incurable diseases, and there are no incurable systems grassroots effort, be the love you want to see in healthcare we can heal healthcare. --- 2:15 ferry soooo nice -- sunny, warm, few peeps -- to deck to NAP in the sun!! awesome! 3:06 IMS All 4 of the measures I was validating have been reassigned. I have NOTHING assigned to do. wow. well, I'll talk to Josh about Mike, then. --- IMS I just got a $650 bonus for 2012!! yay! oh, less taxes = $375 wow, well, maybe we can save it for our trip to Michigan in June. --- my birthday's in 3.5 weeks (and it's on Friday night) we have the North Coast Monk event on Sat. but then that's it. anything else? whatchawant? --- Yeah, Michael, I was thinking about that, too... We didn't do too good keeping our integrity... on homework about keeping our integrity... yikes! I guess we have work to do, ey? See ya'll in a bit. - Matt --- I received your order for fresh Euc Branches -- thanks! Unfortunately, I'm working outta town most of this week, so your order will go out on Friday, when I return home. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- , reply to Hilleary Burgess, MMF --- 6:15 , get headset (Radio Shack, $29.95, nice one!) go to LF! Integrity Knowing vs. Being(!) >> post to LI-EIN in IQ + EQ = __ lousy group after: to Vietnamese for (Excellent) soup on Broadway Rebekah and Stephanie (massage therapist) 11:30ish SR --- 3.12 00:00 e's and Fraser 01:00 to bed 06:58 up (yikes) 07:00 Skype mtg with Yael Stark on new headset (Nice! sounds really good at half volume) - Yael (UK), Judy (Iowa), Earl (UK, NLPer) mtg re: survey/prize to offer 3/25 7 practitioners survey sent, winners chosen submit anything about me, what they are going to get out of me help you got from A to B by 3/15 >> need promo piece / equivalent price --- "Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances." - J. Donald Walters good health is not the absence of symptoms, it is the presence of peace. A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan (1941 - ) Walking is a way of actually shifting a state of consciousness, and you get into things you didn't know about, or you begin to find out about, and that's the interesting part. - Iain Sinclair --- , diaper rash stuff or athlete's foot spray got cortisone... helpful? --- missed ferry, parked at Lucky Dr. 08:29 Bus 24 --- "The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of Life really takes place." - Barbara De Angelis "Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would be different." - Katherine Mansfield --- >> meet with Ursula! - 10:03 Ursula! Hi. I was riding the bus across the GGB and thru the Persidio this morning, and started missing you! It's just not right that we haven't hooked up yet, being sooo close. So, let's try again. Do you still go to Larkspur? If not, I can come over to your side-a-town after work. Whatchathink? - Matt 2GetHelp's mission is to work toward world peace by making a fundamental shift in human consciousness, changing the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe! As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in schools and at home, but there is little formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy and self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we, especially men, make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we think, but we do not know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, abuse, violence, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, even war -- all largely due to an inability to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, feelings and behaviours. EQ is already having significant, measurable effects on education, mental health, business, families, military and entertainment, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. Our mission is to spread EQ through inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, with the goal of having these concepts and skills effect large-scale social change. - Hi there, I have been in South Africa since February 17th and will be back in SF March 27th. My mother is terminally ill and I am taking the time to say goodbye. Wonderful hearing from you. Will make contact when I am back. I am working in Larkspur four days a week. How are you doing? Cheers, Ursula --- Thanks for your understanding. super tacky way to start a business relationship ey? (you must thought I took your money and ran!) lol. --- wow, I did little sleep 4 2-6 (or actually, 3-7) Sat night 4.5 00:30 - 5 Sunday 6 01:00 - 07 Monday --- MMF Export 3-5 hours @ $50 --- >> call Superior Pump re: bill >> write to Josh re: Mike D >> write to Colette Herrick re: MikeD ,send EQ-101.2 to Naveena - Hi Naveena! If you get a chance, here’s the link to part 2 of our series on Emotional Intelligence. EQ-101.2 Emotional Healing: http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:39) Let me know if you have any questions and/or feedback for improvement. Enjoy! - Matt --- Heck yeah, it's ok with me, Josh! Thanks for including me in next week's event. other items: - more coming on convincing our new CLO re: EQ training / SEI... - be wary of George Anderson (on LI-EIN). He owns a big Anger Management training firm in LA (the world's largest, he claims), but he's arrogant and mostly posts to tell others how right/smart he is, and how wrong they are... and frankly, he sounds pretty angry, himself (we can teach without learning, right?). I almost kicked him off our group a while back, but he does have good experience/perspective on things, so I decided to give him another chance and I've been watching him closely. He has his own group on LI, and I posted there a few times, but I made the mistake of saying something about anger (which I have a ton of experience with and just did a half-hour tv program on) but it's the subject he seems to think he 'owns'... his reply was something like "Google me, and you, and let's see who has more experience". whatever. (I never posted there again). Talk soon. - Matt - Thanks Matt!! You know Alex, right? cc'd. She would be a good person to work on a "pitch" to your CLO and come facilitate a pilot -- use the Team Vital Signs, do some SEI assessments and EQ coaching, then re-measure... very data-driven approach. George A - I so agree. Me too. :) --- doesn't Jim WFH on Wednesday's, anymore?? --- working on my reply to Mike, to Josh 6:02 out 6:25 ferry -- NOT! I got to the ferry building, and it was sooo nice out, and sooo much happenin' out front there, that I stopped, and stayed out front, for almost an hour! awesome skaters, biker, trumpet/tap boy ($2) holding front, and back, door open for folks, and enjoying their reactions. very nice 7:20 then the ferry ride back was Wonderful. beautiful sunset, warm(ish), we drove INTO a huge fog bank (slow, honnnnnk) and back out I sang, and danced, the whole way, out back, by myself Celine Dion is amazing!! and janet, and others 8ish Safeway 3 salads, small milk, raisins, bananas, cilantro, dogs, bunny, huge tomato $21 9:21 9:53 Hey Ray -- thanks for the note! Sorry, but I consciously ignore most politics, so I don't know about your reference to Runsfeld. I do know that the concept of unconsciously incompetent -- where we don't know that we don't know -- can be a life-changer for many, as they realize how much more to life there is/can be, if they'd learn about, and activate, the huge part of themselves that they don't know... their heart, their right-brain and their EQ! Help me out here, 'cause you have the same problem that I have... I/we can explain this stuff in 8,000 words... but we need to explain it in more like 8, or less. So help me sum it up... if you had a bumper sticker for the kids about EQ... or a label pin, or a tat... what would it say?? (EQRocks, or "Happiness is a Choice!", or IQ + EQ = LOL !!, or...) I'm thinking that the very first step in adding EQ to our lives is about taking Emotional Responsibility -- the concept that No one has ever made us angry... or hurt our feelings... ever... without our permission. We 'choose' to be angry, we think thoughts that make us angry, and we express our anger... or not... every time... it's up to us. If we/they can take the leap to where we KNOW, beyond a shadow, that our Thoughts, Feelings and especially our Behaviours are 100%, totally, completely, and unevocably OURS... then, and only then, can we have 100% power and control over our own lives! Whatchathink? - Matt - LinkedIn Ray Mathis has sent you a message. Date: 3/13/2013 Subject: RE: Excellent Article... please read it... The 'Get Practical' part of this article describes well what we teach as the 4 Steps to... - Hey Matt, Sorry. You're better off. Rumsfeld did a famous speech about "There are things that we don't know that we don't know, things we know that we don't know, things we know that we know, and things that we don't know that we know" regarding the Iraq war. As for bumper stickers, I'll mull it over - usually I put it in my brain and out of nowhere, something will pop up eventually. My first thoughts though are that if you really are talking about a bumper sticker, it might work against you to use EQ because not everyone know what it means. People on the network certainly do, so it would work with them. I always used the following "Thoughts cause feelings, not events" "Event + Thoughts = Feelings (not Event = Feelings)" don't know how to type the 'not equal' sign "It's your choice how you want to feel" "No one upsets you, you upset yourself" "Your last freedom is your attitude" "Choice = Power and Control" "Responsibility = Ability to Respnd, not React" "No one can hurt your feelings" "No one can get inside your head without permission" "Happiness is wanting what you have" If you spelled out Emotional Intelligence on a bumper sticker or button, then "Emotional Intelligence Rocks" or "Emotional Intelligence = Happiness" would work with more people. For those you train, these might make nice summaries. For those who haven't been trained, at the very least, it might start someone wondering, and maybe cause them to ask you why that's true (or maybe flip you off if they're having a bad day) I know the first time a buddy told me "It's your choice how you want to feel", after I calmed down, he explained it. That was the start of everything I know today. There probably is no one perfect way to sum it all up, but you're right in that if we can come up with something short and sweet it can go a long way. Ray - Event + Thoughts = Feelings IQ + EQ = __ --- Colette Herrick http://www.linkedin.com/groups?viewMemberFeed=&gid=75300&memberID=24885512 Hi Colette, I help approve posts on The Emotional Intelligence Network group that you belong to and I've enjoyed yours, and I'm impressed with your experience! I work for IMS Health, one of the worldwide leaders in big data in healthcare. I'm just a lowly programmer, but when our a new CLO (Chief Learning Officer) was just announced, and his first act was to ask everybody to let him know how the company could help ensure everyone wins, I immediately reached out to him. My goal it to try to introduce EQ at the top. It's such an incredible toolset to master, but not everyone knows the potential, and super-low cost of teaching EQ. So, I sent him links to some of the unprecendented research numbers that we've collected, showed him 4 'business cases' for EQ, shared some of Daniel Goleman's quotes... but... but now what? I'm not sure how to suggest/direct his next steps in embracing EQ at least for the leaders, if not throughout. I think you'll like this article, and Arianna's keynote! My Weekend at the Happiest Place on Earth (No, It Wasn't Disneyland) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-weekend-at-the-happies_b_2776604.html he said, "Lots of breadth in the Huffpo article – particularly liked: 'strategic renewal -- including daytime workouts, short afternoon naps, longer sleep hours, more time away from the office and longer, more frequent vacations -- boosts productivity, job performance and, of course, health.' Think I need more renewal myself… Matt, still solidifying priorities, strategies etc but two thoughts a month in: 1. Any learning that is self-directed (online, etc) is fair game – anything solid, concise (and free / low cost)? Patty, anything already in Skillsoft around this? 2. We’ve identified a need to develop tools for high potential leaders who are “derailed” by 1 or more behaviors. EI/EQ certainly a factor – are you aware of any specific courses / approaches that map to this. As with #1, overall theme is less traditional classroom and more blended approaches, etc. " Any words of wisdom here on how to respond? I may be able to get you involved, if you're interested... but first, we gotta get his/their attention, and some kind of plan to slowly, but powerfully, introduce EQ to the organization. Thanks. If I'm outta line by asking this, tell me to shut up, ok? - Matt I'll send you a connect request, as well. Care to help me introduce EQ to the healthcare world?!? --- 3.13.13 a symetrical # val --- 07:32 Sharon let's keep going... EQ-101.3.1 The Power of Anger (or something like that) we need to show Examples. we need to show how to do Anger, and how NOT to do Anger. we need to show Rage, and how Healing it can be. if we want people to see/feel/understand, we gotta Show 'em! EQ-101.2 with Paula and I just aired... and it's really good, with a complete process of EMFB. I'm working on ours next, I have an appt at MCTV to FINISH .3, I gotta finish the PPT, and then we edit it together (.2 took us 3 hours... and man, he's good, and fast! fun to watch) I realized the other day, tho, that EQ-101.1 had 1 dude in it, .2 had 2, and .3 had 3 of us... it's gonna start getting crowded! but seriously, let's plan the next episode on Anger. And let's ASK people in the next class if they MIND if we video their processing of Anger... so we can show the world what we do! (personally, I think ND would make the most amazing Reality TV show, don't you think... get to know people, investigate them a bit, show what they've been thru and then root for them, as they process their crap and pain and ANGER away! heck yeah! let's do a storyboard, how would we show it in a way that people can Use the information themselves. people don't NEED us to do Anger. They don't need Anything or Any body to heal yourself. nothing, but knowledge, and willingness (and some courage). lets' do this. And there's no one in the world more qualified than thou art!! woo-friggin-hoo! (call me some evening after 7... I'd love to chat) - Matt --- 07:36 Hey Marcie... I'm sorry, but I keep forgetting about us talking about re-doin the eblasts..... I'll be home Friday, Sat, Sun, most all day, so let's TALK by phone. choose a time, I'm pretty open, or just call when you can. we can both be in front of the PC and discuss it all. sorry, no offense. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- ------------ mcp -------------- What is success? To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) --- Ursula Erika Sharon Tom Sliloh shower missed Nick, again to Lucky Dr, again 08:30 go. 09:08 bus 24 10:02 to work (too late, SG's already (t)here!) --- Hi Arielle, thanks for the note... The leaves tend to stay fresh and supple 2-3 weeks unattended... then they can be rehydrated to last longer. To keep 'em fresh longer, store in the freezer. A 1-pound combo comes with leaves AND branches, and the branches last for months... in fact, some gliders like the leaves and branches better AFTER they've dried. Here are the instructions I send with each new order. I can send you an invoice for a 15% discount, if that would help. sound good? - Matt www.EucProducts.com - Hi! I just saw your website about your eucalypts leaves and branches, and I'm definitely going to order some!! I just had a few questions. How long do the leaves last (shelf life)? How are they even supposed to be stored, do they just stay our or go in the fridge? And with the feeding sizes you have posted, I was going to buy the 1lb combo pack feeds (2-4), how long do these packages usually last? I know every glider eats at a different rate, but if I order 1lb should it last a month to when the next package comes? And do you offer any discounted rates for military families? Thank you for your time! Arielle Lucic --- Find a job you like and you add 5 days to every week. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr. --- I've been eating better, lately salads and fruits, mostly, little chocolate or sugar oatmeal, me --- , orders $75 order, 2 game boxes full 'o branches and such! Shirl Smith FurEver Gliders 70 Ridgewood Trail Stockbridge, GA 30281 678-272-7307 Dan Clark's is missing, check receipts 45440, 1/2B, 2-2' Patty Franco, too 30542 & 30564 >> maybe keep last few receipts in car, so I have access to 'em during the week. (actually, I always will have the last/this week's receipt!) --- Josh, Alex, Marilynn Josh and Alex: Hi Alex -- welcome to our discussion thread! We're trying to win over our new CLO (we have over 10,000 employees worldwide, and he's at HQ in Pennsylvania). We've got his attention... now we need to get him actively involved and see what else we can provide him... please read the thread, so far, below). To me, there are 2 distinct opportunities here... 1. Those leaders who have 'derailed' to get back on track. 2. Ongoing education of leaders (and followers) So, freedmantv.com sounds good Josh, but I'm not sure he'll take the step to pay to watch the video. What would you think about comp'ing him your collection, so he can watch a bunch of them at once? There's no telling which/what he's most interested in, and the potential here far outweights http://managementnetworks.com/collection/joshua-freedman-videos How about if I ask him to take the SEI himself, and Alex (or Marilynn or Yoshimi) can do his debrief, so he'll know first-hand what he'd be suggesting to others? He seems to want some 'triage' on 'derailed' leaders, and the SEI could be wonderful for this! I'll also offer him your 1- & 3-month coaching programs (which sounds perfect for 'derailed leaders'). The coaching can all be done remotely, right?. On the next email, I'm planning to introduce/CC: at least Josh, to let him know ya'll's extensive qualifications/experience/abilities... ok? What other thoughts do you have? Thanks for your help. This could be significant! - Matt --- 11:50 I can't get on them from my laptop (still)... but I can from work. (I'm not just talking about logging in to them... they won't show those URLs, AT ALL!) What am I missing? Do we need Wordfense?? thanks! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Updates for Matt From: sliloh Date: Wed, March 13, 2013 1:47 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, One of the plugins has a white list for ip addresses. Wordfence doesn't. but you log-on from more than one ip address anyway I think? I removed a block on one site and the other I didn't find one. Let me know if you can get in now? Yeah, www.MattPerelstein.com could use some improvement! I'll see what I can come up with. Anita --- lunch at Lee's spinach salad, again, with a bit of meat (some paid, some ate in line) Beautiful day out, sat on steps on Market and New Montgomery --- Again, I never received this order! Please help. $61 is a lot to waste! Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: SimplyInk Shipping Confirmation From: Date: Sat, March 02, 2013 4:09 pm To: "LD Products" Hi. I never received this order... can you help? Thanks! - Matt --- PP = 2739 --- 5Rhythms http://www.5rhythmssanfrancisco.com/ 19 Heron Street and 8th Street san francisco ca Thurs 6:30 - 8:30 2nd Floor Studio, Kunst-Stoff Art Space 1 Grove Street @ Market Street Mondays 7-9 --- >> write back to Mike D (it's been a week) >> friend on LI >> fix profile, first >> post on Euc sites (no new orders in 2 days!) --- 6 go... 7 support group mtg splat only, again, I'll bet --- 9:30 SF For the last 3 Mondays, i've been going to a Seminar Series on "Living Powerfully" at Landmark Education in SF. Most informative! We have lecture, homework and group discussions on Knowing vs. Being (which I translate to left-only vs. whole-brain wisdom), Integrity (yikes!), and living an unpredictable life (which I'm working with). They do a good job with words, and concepts, so I'm taking massive notes! And you're right Daniel, differentiations (they call 'em Distinctions) can be super-useful because they imply: - awareness - identification - proper labeling - separation - understanding - (maybe even) acceptance Like being able to differentiate: - fear from anger and sadness, - powerful vs. powerless - victim vs. PP - thots vs. feelings - IQ vs. EQ - need vs. want........ thanks, dude! Give us another (please). --- 3.14 06:40 My personal trials have taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realised that there were two ways that I could respond to mysituation; either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. - Martin Luther King (1929 - 1968) The trick is to train yourself to feel positive feelings such as happiness, joy, excitement, contentment and satisfaction as often as possible. - Jacqui Thomas "Why?" is the most useless question in the universe. The only question with any meaning is "What?" Even in our darkest times, there are seeds of light within ourselves, we need only call them forward. what's really cool is giving profuse thanks for the good fortunes that befall others - no matter who they are - because, invariably, your joy for them will yield the same good fortunes for you. "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." - Chinese Proverb --- 07:57 FB-NDG Michele asked for the link to EQ-101.1, so I thot I'd just post it here. I thot I did a decent job of explaining how left-brain/right-brain works, why it's important, and then I show a video of Joshua Freedman from 6 Seconds, the largest EQ trainers, explaining from a scientific POV how emotions work. (my delivery needs work, but my passion comes thru, and that's what I wanted). http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw --- >> Larry, DVD's? --- 07:59 go... --- IMS both Jim and Shruti stopped by to chat about EQ this morning. Jim re: right-brain vs. left-brain we use more right-brain as we age (60 is height of problem-solving) we continue to "milate" (grow sheeting around nerves), so it may strengthen the synapses "The Surprising Growth of the Middle-Aged Brain", a book he read Shruti: I'll read more, as I had no idea you had that much expertise in that area. People think work is life... and it's not. I knew a man, single, who, if work was going well, he was going well... if not, he was not. so many interesting perspectives. --- Josh, FYI: there are two 'non-links' at the bottom of http://www.6seconds.org/tools/sei/sei-eq-assessment/. Scroll down and see LR: and DR: which look like they should be live links, but they're not. There's may be a picture missing in the middle of the page... as mine (in IE) says, "Reports and sending options are set in the Tools Intranet" next to "There are several reports available,..." Also, no where on that page does it say what SEI stands for. rock on... - Matt --- IQ + EQ = oo (infinity symbol) - Nick (on ferry) --- Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) + Debrief, $150 http://www.6seconds.org/newstore/products/sei/ http://www.6seconds.org/sei/media/SEI_Leaders.pdf SEI Leadership Assessment + Debrief, $250 http://www.6seconds.org/newstore/products/sei/ --- 1:05 Josh and Marilynn Hey Josh, I’d like to get a reply to Mike by tomorrow at the latest. a. Any word on whether I should offer him freedmantv? b. Here is a potential list of offerings: Online: EQ concepts and training: Free - $149 (depending on content) EQ/EI Assessment: EQ testing with 1:1 debrief: $150 Leadership: Customized leadership testing with 1:1 debrief: $250 360 Leadership Assessment: providing critical feedback on trust, teamwork, communication skills and more: TBD Deep-dive with 1:1 Coaching: includes testing, debriefs and personal coaching: 1 month = $1,000 / 2 tests, 2 debriefs and 3 months of coaching: $3,000 d. Then, I’ll suggest that he take the SEI himself, and he can not only debrief, but have a phone discussion with his new ‘coach’, Marilynn. Would you suggest coaching for those, as he described as, high potential leaders who are “derailed” by 1 or more behaviors? e. Would you list 3-5 books you would recommend for leaders? f. some housekeeping: There seem to be two 'non-links' at the bottom of http://www.6seconds.org/tools/sei/sei-eq-assessment. Scroll down and see LR: and DR: which look like they should be live links, but they're not (at least on my IE). There's may be a picture missing in the middle of that page... as mine says, "Reports and sending options are set in the Tools Intranet" next to "There are several reports available,..." Also, nowhere on that page does it say what SEI stands for. Thots? - Matt --- How to run a SQL Stored Proc in Access I am making assumptions that remote server is already set up as linked server with proper permissions in application and network is arranged. Method 1 : Remote Stored Procedure can be called as four part name: Syntax: EXEC [RemoteServer] .DatabaseName.DatabaseOwner.StoredProcedureName ‘Params’ Example: EXEC [DEVSQL] .AdventureWorks.dbo.uspGetEmployeeManagers ’42' USE master EXEC ("USE pubs") SELECT * FROM authors Note The roy_check stored procedure is shown for illustrative purposes only and does not exist in the pubs database. DECLARE @percent int EXECUTE roy_check 'BU1032', 1050, @pc = @percent OUTPUT SET Percent = @percent This example creates a variable that represents a stored procedure name. DECLARE @proc_name varchar(30) SET @proc_name = 'sp_who' EXEC @proc_name This example shows how EXECUTE handles dynamically built strings containing variables. This example creates the tables_cursor cursor to hold a list of all user-defined tables (type = U). Note This example is shown for illustrative purposes only. DECLARE tables_cursor CURSOR FOR SELECT name FROM sysobjects WHERE type = 'U' OPEN tables_cursor DECLARE @tablename sysname FETCH NEXT FROM tables_cursor INTO @tablename WHILE (@@FETCH_STATUS <> -1) BEGIN /* A @@FETCH_STATUS of -2 means that the row has been deleted. There is no need to test for this because this loop drops all user-defined tables. */. EXEC ('DROP TABLE ' + @tablename) FETCH NEXT FROM tables_cursor INTO @tablename END PRINT 'All user-defined tables have been dropped from the database.' DEALLOCATE tables_cursor --- 1:13 LBL 1. Not sure what they mean about report functions being restored. I didn't remove any functionality... only added more. 2. I created the number generator for Karen, and put it into testing, with instructions on how to test it... but as far as I know, she never did (or did and didn't let me know). Would you forward the email you received from them, if there is one? Then I'll follow-up and get this all resolved. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: LBL From: Manjiri Vilekar Date: Thu, March 14, 2013 11:15 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Minty Kamal Hi Matt, LBL just came back to us. They want two items fixed. 1. Reporting function restored (they had it before) 2. Enable a number generator. Apparently Mary and Karen have spoken to you about these needs We have to pay for this out of pocket. Can you please get this fixed within 10 hrs? Hopefully this will mend the relationship with them and we can get more work from them. Please let me know. Best Regards, Manjiri Vilekar XRG Systems Inc. --- PP = 2785 --- 4:09 GPS for the Soul: Huffington Post Unveils Tranquility in an App http://www.iphonelife.com/blog/31078/gps-soul-huffington-post-unveils-tranquility-app --- 4:09 Mike Duffy, et. al. HI Mike, sorry for the delay, but I’ve been formulating my answer to your inquiries… I point again to the emotional literacy work that Six Seconds is doing for leaders and executives worldwide (see their business case below). “Emotions drive people… People drive performance”. They have extensive trainings and personal coaching, plus a statistically viable EQ assessment test called the SEI that can, a) let people know where they measure, in 9 important competencies and, b) (hopefully) motivate folks to make some changes, personally, in order to bring their work/emotional/social life more into ‘balance’. I’ve discussed your interest with Josh Freedman, their COO, to compile the following tools/resources that might help with your requests: 1. Self-directed learning and discovery (free / low cost): EQ Books: At the Heart of Leadership: How to get results with emotional intelligence Leader as a Mensch: Become the kind of person others want to follow Emotional Equations: Using brilliantly simple math to illuminate little-known universal emotional truths Online Tools: EQ training videos: $0 - 149 (by content)… and he’s been gracious enough to offer you, personally, his ‘collection’ of all 163 videos for free, so you can take a look for yourself. Arianna Huffington’s “GPS for the Soul” iPhone/Android app designed to help users find a “centered place of wisdom, harmony, and balance.” (free) EQ/EI Assessment Testing: Evaluates scores in 9 emotional areas via a color bar chart, and includes 1:1 personal debriefing, to understand your results and facilitate change EQ/EI testing and scoring, with 1:1 debrief: $150 Leadership: Customized leadership testing and scoring, with 1:1 debrief: $250 360 Leadership Assessment: providing critical feedback from co-workers, subordinates and supervisors, on leadership effectiveness, trust, teamwork, communication skills and more: $500 … I’d strongly suggest that you take one of these assessments yourself first, to experience the powerful results and debriefing after! 2. Tools for leaders, including the “derailed”: Deep-dive: Includes assessment testing, debrief plus 1:1 personal/business coaching on what’s going well, what’s not, and what to do about it all… Test, debrief and 1 month of coaching: $1,000 2 tests, 2 debriefs (to show changes over time) and 3 months of coaching: $3,000 I hope this information is useful to you. Let me know how I can help. - Matt --- 4:39 MFF Last weekend, I spent about 6 hours getting all the lists together that had street addresses for Arlene's mailing. At the same time, I got most of the email addresses together, as well. This weekend, I could finish up the list of email addresses, remove dupes and bounces, and get 'em all uploaded into Donor Tools (if that's where they are going to 'live'). Most of the crazy lists are here: https://drive.google.com/?authuser=0#folders/0B79AhbywMl1fMDJ4ZXhKQk1RQU9iOVlTTk05aEpzUQ - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Need for help with mailing list data base From: Melissa Howden Date: Thu, March 14, 2013 4:05 pm To: Arlene Moorehead , "matt@2gethelp.com" , "pkemp@mcn.org" J could if he were not tied up with supporting me in my 3 or 4 jobs right now. Why don't you just send me what you have and I will a look and make a plan somehow. Matt Please send me all the crazy lists. Or direct me to where they are as I have no idea. Somehow someway everything will get entered into Donor Tools. Perhaps there is a volunteer out there? I said I would do what I can with the mailing lists but at least at the moment I don't have the time to oversee it. Melissa - YOU DA MAN!!!! I have bounce backs from the membership mailing. How should we handle them? Just go into donor tools and delete? I will check out the crazy lists tomorrow. Maybe between me and J depending on what it all looks like we can merge into donor tools. Yes Paul has been uploading new stuff to Donor tools. Lets get everything there. --- 5:16 LBL Hi Karen, I understand that there are 2 outstanding items yet. 1. Reporting function restored I'm not sure what's needed here. I don't remember removing any functionality... only adding features to PAD. What functionality needs to be restored? 2. Enable a number generator I assume this refers to the BG Numbering discussed below. As far as I know, this was the last correspondence re: testing. When the date was changed, did it work/not work? Let me know what else is needed/unfinished. Thanks. - Matt --- 5:30 MFF, Melissa, Arlene, Paul For bounce backs, rather than removing the record and losing the history, I'd just suggest removing the bad mailing/email address instead, so the record and their name remains in tact. Our 174 current donors are going to swell to over 2,000 records, once the rest are imported. If DonorTools will be the main repository, how will we do eblasts in the future? Marcie wants us to switch from VerticalResponse to Constant Contact (we're meeting on this this weekend), but whatever tool we use, will have to 'share' the data. Ideas? - Matt --- 5:30 to Happy Hour (Murphy's Bar) to meet new guys from Redwood City. then Wal*Mart on the way HOME! --- 9:02 SR ------------ mcp ------------- Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? --- Shuttin' down links: Emotions 101: How to Reveal and Heal What You Feel http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-wachter/managing-emotions_b_2717206.html >> link to Mike Duffy on LI IMS Create and validate measures, which are complex data queries and filters on gobs of medical claims information ('big data')using a proprietary database tool called Health Smart Designer and SQL Server 2008. Does Expression of Anger Help a Team? http://nuragroup.com/articles/does-expressing-anger-help-a-team/ How to lead older colleagues http://createsend.com/t/r-ADB61F851134B0F42540EF23F30FEDED Attention Matters: What’s Your Self-Regulation Checklist? http://neurocapability.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/attention-matters-whats-your-self-regulation-checklist/ Positive Affirmations http://newagemovement.org/list-of-positive-affirmations/?goback=%2Eanp_75300_1363148195305_1%2Eamf_75300_5117953 A Mini Case Study on Motivation http://leaderchat.org/2013/03/04/a-mini-case-study-on-motivation/ --- 9:16pm go... 9:58 Wal*Mart (phew... but then, they don't close 'til midnight!) goodies baby shower clothes for Jenny ---3.15 5 naps incl. AM/PM Ukiah $3.99 --- Michael N Brown, MD Website http://michaelnbrownmd.com/ chattin' with Lourie Brown(!) breakfast with PKP --- Euc Testimonial Hey Matt! Got the euc Wednesday!! Super fast shipping and as always you exceeded my expectations! Thank you so much my babies loved it! Heather Peninger --- There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility lies in being superior to your previous self. - Hindu proverb --- Julian Rifa 1000 fans(!) What I do is promote your page in various Fan Groups and Forums and share it with all my active followers. https://www.facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop Ok, I'm game. I'd like more fans for the page at: https://www.facebook.com/NewDirectionsWorkshop. Send me an invoice and let's get started! - Matt --- PP = 2892 --- Maximizing your "Aha!" Moment, by Daniel Goleman http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130312165729-117825785-maximize-your-aha-moment?trk=eml-mktg-condig-0108-p1 --------- mcp -------------- that fourth stage, implementation, where a good idea will either sink or swim. I remember talking to the director of a huge research lab. He had about 4,000 scientists and engineers working for him. He told me, "We have a rule about a creative insight: if somebody offers a novel idea, instead of the next person who speaks shooting it down - which happens all too often in organizational life - the next person who speaks must be an ‘angel's advocate,' someone who says, ‘that's a good idea and here's why.'" What's the best way to mobilize this brain ability? It's first to concentrate intently on the goal or problem, and then relax into stage three: let go --- Mark's outta town for a month LM for 2 more EAPs on Market St (search above) --- IMS Debug app --- made 46 slides for EQ-101.3 to MCTV! --- ON VACATION all afternoon and evening espn 2 hour nap PR and Josh over for burgers and chats (Nice!) espn a movie? 4:44, nope... didn't make it thru the credits. on chair (yuck) --- 3.16 5ish gotta pee, neck hurts espn 06:51 we can IMPROVE everything we feel, think and do! EQ is about what we think, feel and do! EQ, the study of what we think, feel and do! EQ can improve what we think, feel and do! EQ is about what we DO. Don't like what you think, feel and do? Learn EQ! Not getting results with all you think, feel and do? Learn EQ! --- Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ IQ + EQ = OQ (Operational Quotient) The combination of our intelligence (general ability to solve problems and understand concepts) and our emotions equals how we operate. As our emotions change, so do our behaviors. If we want to behave a certain way, we have to apply our intellectual abilities. We can check the math, to find the IQ, simply subtract the EQ from the OQ. Generally speaking, someone is using their higher intellect to problem solve when they have removed their emotions from a stressful situation wherein they find themselves. By Kelly McCrillis All things of value, including personal relationships, worldly possessions and business skills, require some degree of attention - or you will lose them. All our talents increase in the using, and every faculty, both good and bad, strengthen by exercise. - Anne Bronte (1820 - 1849) We are an entire generation of women who are making up our lives as we go along. - Lisa Kogan --- LF #3 Empowering Context in the face of whatever your current circumstances re – creating an empowering context that leaves you in the present in your current circumstances with power – freedom – full self expression - 08:53 (email) Sorry, Judy, but I've had a different opportunity arise, so I won't make the Monday meeting. It doesn't appear that anyone else wants to meet, anywayz. As I mentioned, I didn't realize we were looking for one big 'empowering context' for my life, so I'm still looking for the right wording to sum it all up. What's yours? thx. - Matt --- homeclips password reset http://www.homeclips.com/account/reset-password/reset/matt@2gethelp.com/88ca0db1fb7bf31f8bbda3a1fea82a2d/ Values http://www.npr.org/2005/08/08/4785079/always-go-to-the-funeral --- Hi. I'm proud to announce the 2nd in our EQ-101 TV series, this one on Emotional Healing with EQ! We walk thru a powerful exercise called Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behaviour we do in our workshops that shows how it all begins, and how to unravel it all so we can heal the fear, anger, pain and grief from our past. I'm excited to hear your feedback... Enjoy! EQ-101.2 http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:39) --- 09:33 Oh! Fantastic. See you then!! Take care, Glen. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: dcarter281@gmail.com's subscription to Eucs - 5 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled] From: DeWayne Carter Date: Sat, March 16, 2013 9:07 am To: "" No problem what so ever. I generally give my cockatoos ecu oct thur mar. I'll be back in oct. Thanks Glen On Mar 16, 2013, at 10:55 AM, wrote: Hey Glen, sorry to see you go, again. What happened? Is everything ok? Thanks for the business! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 09:48 Invoiced MAC, $75 Invoice ZOO for Feb $200 (finally) PP = 2856 -50 Monetize your Marketing (1,000 likes on FB ND) -15 GoDaddy, 2 domains --- How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone Do it unequivocally with no reservations, buts or maybes. I like the summation that Matt gives of a good apology. It must be a sincere acknowledgement that what we did was wrong and recognition that hurt was caused. By Harvey Deutschendorf --- homeclips/voyeaurweb m@2gh / 6x (password reset) --- MMF Export to Template MMF_DataExport_30120316.xls to PatronManager S/W Individuals: Donors Households: Donors Businesses: Donors Donations Donors Contributions Pledges: - none - found zUpdatedAddresses_101129 when compared to Donors' addresses, 3494 records Donors 14513x Contributions 31012x 8025x ConSourceType = "Donations" including ConSource = Donation (3854x), Winter Letter, Walter #2, Friends of Marion James etc. Individuals vs. Households (joins Individuals) vs. Businesses (3 contacts) Donors same Donations vs. Pledges They differentiate Donations from Pledges. Contributions same. Donations vs. Tickets old donors? where Contributions = Donations only? --- MFF Donors, 14,513x Businesses, 402x WHERE (((Donors.First) Is Null) AND ((Donors.[Last Name]) Is Null) AND ((Donors.Company) Is Not Null)) Individuals removed 142 blanks 1 Anonymous Donations 30517 --- Eucs go great in your cage! Good idea, Tianna... let's have one next weekend! ... but you don't have to wait for me to get seeds... you can get a about 100-200 seeds from these guys... for only $2.50! http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html (then you can become a Euc tycoon and put me outta bizness!) --- to house for breakfast PR and Josh and PKP, eggs benedict... yum! Major Payne after and some rugby looking up eucs not delivered (yay for tracking numbers, USPS) and History of the Eagles (no, not rugby, but the band!) tracy here, too. --- 1:48 here --- 4+ take PR home, she was sewing a new wallet for herself, with a zipper, and a snap, and 3 colors of material she drove she's sooo cool, and sooo beautiful! wow Tracy Kay's here, too doing her taxes with Mom Safeway for cabbage and carrots cake mixes were massively on sale evap milk bananas $21, not bad everything is sooo expensive, and continues to rise. --- 5:14 Nicholas Gadbois 17901 Inwood Ave N Hugo, MN 55038 delivered 3/15, 1:48pm told him re-send, address messed up, 'cause I'm a nice guy Daniel Clark 2239 E David Rd Apartment D Kettering, OH 45440 1/2B, 2-2' --- LI-EIN "I remember talking to the director of a huge research lab. He had about 4,000 scientists and engineers working for him. He told me, 'We have a rule about a creative insight: if somebody offers a novel idea, instead of the next person who speaks shooting it down - which happens all too often in organizational life - the next person who speaks must be an ‘angel's advocate,' someone who says, ‘that's a good idea and here's why.'" - Daniel Goleman in the article, 'Maximizing your "Aha!" Moments' http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130312165729-117825785-maximize-your-aha-moment?trk=eml-mktg-condig-0108-p1 --- pkp just called and got distant when I couldn't think of something for dinner. then she called back to say she was going to town to write an email, did I want to go. I said no thanks, so now she's pissed, and hung up on me. I'm trying again. --- 6:55 LI Profile Summary We've been "Getting to the Heart of the Matter" by leading life-changing emotional intelligence (EQ) trainings called New Directions Workshops for over 25 years now. These are the deepest healing events I've seen, and we've now worked with 2,000 people in 4 states. Results have been significant -- with increased joy of living, improvements in trauma and PTSD, and helping with anxiety, depression, addictions, anger management, personal power, relationships and more. After seeing how profound this emotional work can be, I have made it my/our mission is to bring the power and joy of EQ to the rest of the world (see EQRocks.com). For those same 25 years, I have also had day jobs doing computer database consulting. I've amassed with a list of 83 successful full-time & part-time IT projects -- working for a diverse mixture of federal, state and local governments, plus businesses and non-profits, large and small. I believe these engaging (tho' hectic) career(s) have provided me with a good balance of left-brain IQ and right-brain EQ -- my right-brain has helped my left-brain by creating technologically-satisfied computer customers, and my logical left-brain has helped my feeling-centered right-brain create lots of emotionally happy(er) workshop students. In my opinion, IQ + EQ = LOL !! Specialties: • Emotional intelligence lifeskills training, emotional literacy and emotional healing. Avid researcher, speaker and writer in all things EQ. Workshop creation and instruction, radio and tv show guest/host, blog and article writing, support group leader and moderator, fanatic EQ advocate. • Computer Database Analysis and Design: Requirements gathering, business process re-engineering, database architecture design, database conversion and integration, system and user documentation and training, and full life-cycle application development. Expert-level database management programming skills: MS Access (all versions since v1.1), MS Visual Basic for Applications (VBA), MS SQL Server DBA, MS Office automation, MS Visual Basic. - Contact 7:32 sent invite to Mike Duffy on LI Mike Duffy 3rd Vice President and Chief Learning Officer at IMS Health Greater Philadelphia Area · Management Consulting Similar Hi Mike, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. I hope that together, we can bring EQ to IMS! - Matt Perelstein http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=6405324&authType=NAME_SEARCH&authToken=eqpn&locale=en_US&srchid=a4739f71-9812-40d6-abe4-f1a71c1bdcd0-0&srchindex=2&srchtotal=3&goback=%2Efps_PBCK_duffy_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_3331_*1_Y_*1_*1_*1_false_1_R_*1_*51_*1_*51_true_CC%2CN%2CG%2CI%2CPC%2CED%2CL%2CFG%2CTE%2CFA%2CSE%2CP%2CCS%2CF%2CDR_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_3331_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2&pvs=ps&trk=pp_profile_name_link --- 8+ to PKP's work so she could send an email to Piaci's for Kilt Lifters, pizza and salad (Yum, but $55 total) pkp buzzed, happy, home and right to bed (relaxed, for a change) --- 3.17 02:?? Bourne Supremacy, some, then crash again 04:36 ND Testimonial If I didnt say it before , Thank you , to all last meeting , Ive been noticing some different in myself , Im getting stronger , Love u all !!!!! - Ricci Choate - Dining with one's friends and beloved family is certainly one of life's primal and most innocent delights, one that is both soul-satisfying and eternal. - Julia Child --- LI-EIN Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ Okanta I believe the word is Wiccan! (Yes, there is a place for common sense. The question is, do we accept what gets dished out on face value or launch an inquiry by questioning it using common sense) If I could expound on the original question... IQ + EQ = Intellectual Honesty and Critical Thinking 1. Our ability to recognize and honor one humanity, 2. Our ability to finally see the factors which have caused the ever deepening rift in consciousness, 3. Understanding social injustice and how we have been duped by politicians / governments who lie by throwing a handful of dust into the eyes of public. Their perpetuation of agendas which serve only a few, 4. And it is our ability to be "creative" in challenging times by eliminating a monster called FEAR. We can choose to either "react" or "create". 5. And finally understand the reasons behind, genocide, ethnic cleansing, ethnocentrism, who is causing them and for what reason. By S. Tariq Masood - Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ IQ + EQ = HQ or Human Quotient. If we can develop our IQ and our EQ to our highest levels, we can become the best humanly possible,. By Liz Handley - IQ+EQ= Happiness and Widsom By Ioanna Sarli Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ IQ + EQ = Response-Ability IQ gives us the capacity to respond EQ gives us the ability to respond instead of react to life Plus you can use your IQ to increase your EQ. And in some ways the other ways around as well because e-motion can be helpful energy to move to make life better. IQ + EQ = One truly smart human being, which is kind of like Liz's, which I like. Depends on the audience if they will know what talking about. If we get the chance to explain, Liz's is a good one. By Ray Mathis --- Euc testimonials thank you so much for the big limbs the girls won't get it till they wake up Christmas morning to a cage full of leaves and limbs they absolute love this stuff and so do I keep up the great work :) thank you again - AHM my Eucalyptus leaves and chew sticks arrived yesterday. I rinsed them off and put a couple of leaves and a chew stick in Lily's (sugar glider) cage while she was sleeping. She woke up and came out to investigate and starting chewing right away! She dragged a leaf into her pouch and is quite content! ( a nice bonus is the wonderful, fresh fragrance in the house!!) - TA I received my order today... The babies LOVE it! They chew on the sticks and play like crazy in the leaves. Thank you! - SR --- 04:56 Good one -- try wiping your butt with an ipad!! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY slim slam! Hope you're well, and I wish you many happy returns of the day! See 2 attachments... when I saw these (separately), I thought of you. Be cool... luv ya, dude! - Matt --- 2 give and 2 get Double it and you have 4 give and 4 get. Something to think about. By Beryl Comar --- Never, never give up! - Winston Churchill By Carol Gajus, Ph.D., Assistant Vice President --- 05:30 - 07:28 Work with Yael on Survey award wording To start with -what is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? EQ is EQ is about what we think, feel and do! EQ is the key to having power and control over our lives! EQ gives hope. EQ changes lives. EQ is good for sales, and business. EQ is an attitude, a lifestyle, a skill, an art and a language. EQ is all-natural, and healthy, and organic, and God-given, and powerful, and free. EQ builds relationships. EQ heals pain. EQ saves lives. EQRocks! EQ is about knowing, accepting, and being able to express our feelings (or not) in healthy, powerful ways. If we know our fear, we can deal with it. If our fear grips us so hard that we cannot make logical decisions, we are NOT in control of our lives... our fear is. Learn your fears, face them, conquer them, succeed! "Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need it, but it doesn't make you a star. Emotional Intelligence can." - Warren Bennis, author of 'On Becoming a Leader' "EQ is more than twice as predictive of business performance than purely cognitive intelligence." - Gerald Mount in 'The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Developing International Business Capacity, 2006 “80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performance are in the domain of EQ." - Daniel Goleman, 'Working with Emotional Intelligence' The Case for EQ http://www.6seconds.org/case/ ------------------------- An EQ coaching session with Matt. Matt is a certified emotional intelligence (EQ) workshop instructor and has been a personal coach for over 25 years. What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? EQ is the study of what we think, feel and do! Unlike intellectual intelligence (left-brain IQ, which is pretty much static), which measures our basic ability to learn and retain information, EQ is about our creative, feeling-based right-brain. Why choose a coaching session with Matt? We learn IQ in schools, but we don't learn EQ (except from our parents, who may have been lousy at it, or on the playground, often one of the most painful ways to learn anything!) add What's the session? 3 Steps to High EQ 1. Know what we think and feel 2. Accept our thoughts and feelings, without judgment 3. Express ourselves, (or not) in healthy, productive ways 4 Steps to Learning - For over 25 years, Matt has been coached and taught instructor for the Emotional Intelligence intensive breakthrough weekends called New Directions Workshops. EQ is about knowing, accepting, and being able to express our feelings (or not) in healthy, powerful ways. - I know you by your laugh! Laugh once, and I know everything about you. - Yael Stark EQ is the study of what we think, feel and do. Unlike intellectual intelligence (left-brain IQ), which is our basic ability to learn and retain information (taught at school and is pretty much static), EQ is about our creative, feeling-based right-brain (mainly learnt by watching our parents, and on the playground, one of the most painful learning environments on earth)! EQ is about knowing, accepting, and being able to express our feelings (or not) in healthy, powerful ways. Why Choose Matt? In a phone or Skype coaching session, you will learn how emotions and trauma are experienced perceived in our right-brain, how to unravel and heal old emotions from childhood. You'll also the 7 steps to dealing with negative feelings, to get back to the natural positive feelings we were born with. apply EQ is the study of what we think, feel and do. Unlike intellectual intelligence (left-brain IQ), which is our basic ability to learn and retain information (taught at school). EQ is about our creative, feeling-based right-brain (mainly learnt by watching our parents, and on the playground, one of the most painful learning environments on earth)! 3 Steps to Emotional KAE 4 Steps to Learning (anything) UI, CI, CC, UC 7 Steps to Processing Negative Feelings KAERRR 7 Steps to Emotional Healing Awareness Appreciation Discovery FEEL IT! Release & Replace Redecide REJOICE! You’ve shared your own and others stories that show the success someone can have if they just do things your (ND’s) way. For that I’ll be forever grateful and be your lifetime friend. - Larry Hawks, via email I'm creating a more peaceful inner existence, and a more peaceful relationship with the world. - Cary "I love love love my new awareness." - Glori - others: To start with -what is Ayurveda? Ayurveda looks at the body in a balanced way; it is based on the energies behind the structure while modern medicine is based on the physical structure itself. Our physical and mental/emotional body consists of the elements, ether, air, fire, water, earth, that make up 3 dominant constitutional types, The Doshas. Taking these types into consideration, Ayurveda focuses on quality of life, recovery from illness, chronic disorders, prevention, and rejuvenative therapies. Why choose Claudia? Claudia has been studying Ayurveda for the past ten years and has studied under Dr. David Frawley as well as Kerala Ayurveda Academy where she graduated as Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor. The Ayurvedic Science and Lifestyle truly is her passion. She is a Canadian College of Oriental Medicine and Acupuncture graduate, a certified Jin Shin Do Acupressure Therapist and a Yoga Instructor. Having dealt with health issues and injuries herself, Claudia is very aware of physical limitation and how and when they occur. With this knowledge and personal experience she is well equipped to create a mindful balancing and healing experience. Claudia is specialised in: Arthritic conditions. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. IBS, Celiac disease and other digestive disorders. Depression and Anxiety. Weight management trough Ayurveda. What her client are saying? "The ayurvedic approach has been a great fit for me as it has revitalized my health by helping me manage my Rheumatoid Arthritis more effectively. Ayurveda has successfully complimented the treatment plan prescribed by my rheumatologist and has allowed me to regain my energy, reduce my pain, and be more active. Through ayurvedic consultation with Claudia and learning more about my Dosha, we were able to choose herbs and adjust my diet and exercise program to help with my fatigue, achiness, joint inflammation, swelling, and my mobility. I highly recommend Ayurveda to anyone seeking a better quality of life in a more natural and balanced way." - Melissa A., Brentwood Bay, B.C. - Lynn is a certified health coach who graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and she is also a macrobiotic chef. She coached countess of people for over 15 years. To start with what is Integrative Nutrition and what does it mean to be a macrobiotic chef? Integrate different nutrition modalities such TCM, Ayurveda or wild edibles into one tailored solution that works for you. A macrobiotic chef works with locally grown and in seasonal crops. Macrobiotic works on the ‘opposite principles’; hot/ cold (some food heat you and some cool you down), dark/ light (certain food colours have certain health principles), expansive contractive ( some food makes you bloat…) and energy frequency ( some foods will raise your vibrational frequency and some will ground your). Why choose a session with Lynn? Lynn was always the ‘go to person’ when someone was ill, (she healed her eldest daughter from continuous upper respiratory infections which the doctors only wanted to give antibiotics to). Lynn, not only will guide you, with a consultation, to focus on what you want to heal in your body, but also will give you practical, real life experiential application- all through Skype call or face to face. How people have benefited from sessions with Lynn? They gain clarity and focus on their goals. They increased motivation for achieving their goals. They uncovering hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your health efforts and keeping you from an energetic life. They created a crystal clear vision for their ideal life and learnt new food preparation techniques. Lynn is specialised in raw food but also is knowledgeable in cooked food. - How people have benefited from sessions with Earl? Boosting and maintaining confidence. Mastering emotions and thought patterns. Greater Self-esteem. Stronger relationships (partners, family, friends and colleagues). Increased motivation for achieving goals. Clarity and new focus for goals. Relaxation techniques. Creating resourceful thinking patterns for making important decisions. Developing inner-balance. Enhanced communication skills. Creating Mission/Vision for how you choose to be in the future. How Others have Benefitted: - Clearer understanding of themselves, and others. - Ability to identify, separate, accept and express their feelings and emotions - Increased empathy and compassion for self and others - Start a relationship with your inner child, so neither of you feel alone, ever again! - De-mystify emotions - Better ability to balance left- and right-brain, building confidence, passion and wisdom - Introduce healing concepts How Others have Benefitted: They had a clearer understanding of themselves and others. They were able to identify, separate, accept and express their feelings and emotions They increased empathy and compassion for self and others They start a relationship your inner child, so neither of you feel alone, ever again. They demystified emotions. They were able to balance left- and right-brain which lead to building confidence, passion and wisdom. - Final(ish) 4 prize of seven is an EQ coaching session with Matt Matt is a certified Emotional Intelligence (EQ) workshop instructor and has been a personal coach for over 25 years. He lives by his motto ‘We gotta feel it to heal it!’ So let’s start with- what is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? EQ is the study of what we think, feel and do. Unlike intellectual intelligence (left-brain IQ), which is our basic ability to learn and retain information. and is pretty much static (taught at school), EQ is about our creative, feeling-based right-brain and can expand as we become more aware and open to it, (mainly learnt by watching our parents and on the playground, one of the most painful ways to learn anything). Why choose a session with Matt? Through a 4 stage process you will learn how emotions and trauma are experienced and perceived in our right brain, how to unravel and heal old emotions from childhood. You will also learn to apply 7 simple steps to dealing with negative feelings, so you can get back to the natural positive feelings you were born with. How other benefitted: They had a clearer understanding of themselves and others. They were able to identify, separate, accept and express their feelings and emotions They increased empathy and compassion for self and others They start a relationship your inner child, so neither of you feel alone, ever again. They demystified emotions. They were able to balance left- and right-brain which lead to building confidence, passion and wisdom. What two of his clients are saying? "I'm creating a more peaceful inner existence, and a more peaceful relationship with the world." - Cary "I love love love my new awareness!" - Glori Matt is on row 13 in the Practioners List so why not go there if you want to find out more? --- ------------ mcp ----------- Euc Testimonials Euc Safe Wood Lists for birds http://www.plannedparrothood.com/plants.html http://www.mdvaden.com/bird_page.shtml --- 07:40 http://forums.avianavenue.com/marketplace/91917-birds-love-fresh-eucalyptus-6.html 07:44 http://forums.avianavenue.com/diy-drive/106383-perch-wood-question.html Woohoo! Eucalyptus is on BOTH of the safe wood lists (above)! (but, as Chantel said, beware of pesticides and preservatives, like those sprayed on the silver-dollar Eucs found in florists and grocery-stores!) Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt --- 08:01 FB-EP Eucalyptus is listed as "26-2421584 (262421584)" on two dif. lists for birds: 26-2421584 (262421584) --- D-R The Case for EQ http://www.6seconds.org/case/ Young people with high EQ earn higher grades, stay in school, and make healthier choices. Adults with high EQ have better career advancement, are more effective leaders and salespeople, and have better personal & professional relationships. Want evidence? E-book: The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence - review of current research linking EQ to improved leadership, better employee productivity, lower turnover, higher sales, and bottom line value. http://www.6seconds.org/blog/2008/10/the-business-case-for-emotional-intelligence/ E-book: A Case for Emotional Intelligence In Our Schools - review of current research showing how EQ improves academic achievement, school retention, and positive behavior. http://www.6seconds.org/blog/2007/11/a-case-for-emotional-intelligence-in-our-schools/ Study: Emotional Intelligence and Success - EQ predicts alover 54% of the variation in success (relationships, effectiveness, health, quality of life) http://6seconds.org/sei/eq_success.php Study: Emotional Intelligence, Stress, and Performance in Healthcare - EQ reduces stress and predicts 66-79% of the variation in performance. http://6seconds.org/sei/wp-stress.php Research Summary: For youth, EQ predicts over 50% of a combination of health, relationiships, satisfaction, achievement, and self-efficacy. http://www.6seconds.org/sei/media/WP_SEIYV-summary.pdf - Helping Young People Thrive Through EQ http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B17tGU8HpemfYjhhNGNiYzEtYTk4YS00MTMwLWE3ZTQtMDYzYzUxMzY1MTFk&hl=en - Feeling Smart Emotional Intelligence Competencies, Recommendations, and Exercises, by Anabel Jensen, Ph.D. http://www.6seconds.org/tools/feelingsmart.php Feeling Smart is a practical curriculum for educators to introduce the key competencies of emotional intelligence. Each lesson is a “graphic organizer,” a worksheet to help students organize and expand their thinking while also reflecting on their feelings. --- Allen Edwards Psychology Lectures, UWTV Richard Bryant, Prof. Univ. of New South Wales CBT Education Cognitive Therapy Breathing Skills Prolonged exposure Relapse prevention Extinction Learning, face what scares them CBT + hypnosis - Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) safety, trust, power, control - Affective!!! Breuer and Freud Lori Zoellner, Associate Professor, Dept of Psychology, UofW --- re-telling it For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hemingway - clincally significant gains anxiety, depression, PTSD --- Radio Show Notes 6.13.2012 http://toginet.com/shows/payingitforward EQ = People first, feelings matter. EQ is about managing our heart. EQ is about consciousness, and mindfulness --- EQ is right-brain feelings IQ is left-brain logic Add your right-brain TO your left-brain, and look out!! School is about IQ, predominately, and as budgets are cut and cut, more and more left-brain (passing the tests) 3 Steps to Change: - Awareness - Acceptance - Action 4 Steps to Learning: - UI - CI - CC - UC EQ is all totally, completely, and unrevocably FREE There are only a few things we really have any Control over, in our lives. we may Want to control stuff outside of us -- the weather, the economy, wars, hunger we may Try to control stuff that's closer to us -- our kids, our job, our spouse, our home but the one thing we have TOTAL, 100%, complete control over is OURSELVES! Thoughts, Feelings, Behaviours, Actions, Attitudes, Values, Belief Systems, Intention ALL under our control... and Knowing we can change 'em is Liberating Learning how to change 'em is Power Changing 'em is Freedom! Help me with this, as it's new: our Thoughts can be controlled quite a bit we do it all day long at work, at school, at home doing housework... our Feelings >> what's my Call to Action? Share the good news to promote EQ and ER around the world! EQ is NOT about getting used, used up, or abused -- unless it's conscious. EQ is about EQ is one of the hottest topics on the planet. "What is eq" --> 2.7M hits in May, just on Google world-wide conference is coming up EQ in schools is called SEL or Social and Emotional Learning EQ at work is called soft skills communications customer service employee retention EAP - Employee Assistance Programs incentives and bonuses --- THE ZEN OF PERFECT 1. What is, is perfect. And, you can perfect it. 2. What isn’t perfect, is perfect. Because there is something to learn. 3. You are perfect. Even when you are not. 4. Others are perfect. specially when they are not. 5. Life is perfect. but only when you see that it is. 6. Weaknesses are perfect. Their perfection is simply unrecognized. 7. Your strengths are perfect. So, continue to perfect them. 8. What already is perfect is perfect. Leave it alone. 9. Tragedies are perfect. We just can’t see the perfection, yet. 10. Perfect is perfect. Make perfect an art form. --- 08:33 Chickety China Chinese Chicken Have a drumstick and your brain starts clickin' --- 09ish called M&D meds no heater/hot water for 3 days speaking on Alzheimers Retired Officers, losing benefits --- 09:23 order labels PP = 2949 --- , orders seeds only to: Patricia Franco 6533 Shady Valley Dr Flowery Branch, GA 30542 Michael Franco 386 Maid Marian Circle Murrayville, GA 30564 Alex Lucic 117 Snowberry Circle Riverside, OH, 45431 1C, x PP by phone, $25 937-422-7415 --- 1:59 Consciousness Drives the Universe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9bVd3BspIQ&feature=youtu.be at 6:37, great quote "What the science is now showing is that when you can change the feeling, and you can change the alum those feelings are in, and we are made of those alums. so when we're having those feelings in our heart, we are changing the field that connects the stuff that everything is made of and we litereally are alterig EQ is not about attracting abundance EQ is about feeling abundant, whether you are or not because it feels good. find something to be thankful for find things to appreciate find people to love, and who will love you back. --- bought Mel's Drive-in half price card $24 for $12 thru Groupon --- Open your mind to your heart. Open your heart to your mind. FB-ND page Transform your life in this intensive EQ weekend. De-mystify your feelings, make better decisions and live FREE! Next class May 15-17, 2013 in Fresno, CA, USA --- 2:16 FB-NDG Matt Perelstein HAPPY ST. Patrick's DAY to you! Check yourself... if you're not wearing green (and you're not Irish), you gotta pinch yourself, Now! --- Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself. - Rumi (see pic) Tomorrow, I will be strong, as well, and will change the world, with EQ. - MCP --- 2:26+ MFF email list --- 3.18 06:44 up orders shower pack here 08:31 Mary Hallgren MBA, CET commented on What is the filter for accepting a new belief? A belief is a filter. It can be a giant generalization from past experience or an idea we have bought into. Either one filters information so that we take in only information that supports that filter. Whatever you believe is true for you and becomes your filter of life. So, to change what is true for you to believe, you have to question that truth so new information replaces that truth. Byron Katie's 'Is it true?' is a useful process. However, I had a client once that got caught in some religious beliefs that caused him extreme pain. He saw the devil everywhere he looked supporting his beliefs that he had taken in at church. Beliefs are ideas we have already decided are true and if we are going to let go of one belief we usually have to replace it with a new one. He was afraid to replace his old belief because at least he knew the result of his present beliefs. He was afraid a new belief might be even worse. If we decide something is true we hold on to those truths as part of who we are. That was when I realized that we could make beliefs just ideas and if we hold them only as an idea we can easily change them if they aren’t working for us and use a new idea. - It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) - Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ More important than a number, IQ equates to the knowledge, skill, and ability (KSAs) to do anything. What's missing in the formula is Motivation or being conscientious about acquiring the KSAs to do something; and, the perseverance to apply that day in and day out. EQ equals the unique interaction of competencies associated with being aware of your feelings and emotions, controlling your own behavior based upon what you are feeling, being aware of what others are feeling, and controlling your own behavior as it relates to others feelings. "x" or the multiplication sign is more dynamic, so I believe the formula should read: Accelerating Your Success = KSAs x Motivation x EQ. By David Mulligan, Psy.D., MBA - IQ+EQ+ ? + ? + ? = Total Human Potential Quotient By Harbhajan Singh - Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ I propose to updatre your formula IQ+EQ+SQ. S? - spiritual or social. By Zigmas Bigelis --- >> MFF header >> MFF BOD tues at 5? , MMF exports --- 08:44 go 11:30 Standup call 12:15 ferry PL (no SR) 12:40 ferry 1:33 IMS --- I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to live the width of it as well - Diane Ackerman "To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." - Buddha --- >> Shauna Nauna Hoskins 2:27pm Mar 18 Hey Matt! My new employer left a message,,,will you please give her a call ? Thanks! Michelle z @219.670.3213 6:10 Done! I spoke to her about 4pm. She was very nice. I told her you worked extremely well with clients, and she asked about disturbed fosted kids, and I said you happened to work with some of these exact folks (and that you were awesome with them... super patient, hear what they're not saying, getting to the 'heart of the matter'... that kinda thing). She thanked me profusely, so I assume that's a good sign! Go get 'em! - Matt --- Danielle Ardella White has sent you a message. Date: 3/18/2013 Subject: Re: Show Hi! I'd LOVE to have You on my show. Send me your contact information.. I'm excited! Danielle - Yeehaa! matt@2GetHelp.com 916-599-8597 cell http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com talk soon... - Matt --- 6:30 out --- 8:22 EAP 415-421-8230 8:23 PKP --- talked to Tracy's to go to Sydney's party next weekend BOE: 2gethelp / mewf77777 https://efile.boe.ca.gov/boe/boe_login.jsp Tax Resale # SR KHO DBA: 2GETHELP WELLNESS CENTER Account Number: 101112627 Taxpayer Name: MEW FOUNDATION, INC. Business E-mail Address: 2gethelp@mew-foundation.org For assistance during regular business hours call 800-400-7115 (TTY:711) >> fix this! 2Gh 2gh spot info@2gethelp.com --- >> D-R find out when we got our 501c3 but I think it was in 2010, so we still have a few months. >> read drkfoundation.org... they updated it, a lot. --- 3.19 05:30 We are vulnerable to fear only when we leave the present. If I drift into the past, my regrets surge up, my memories of failing and forsaking. If I shift into the future, I meet with doubt and delusion, fear of what's to come, what I'm not capable of controlling. It's in the present moment that I belong." - Jan Phillips love is the center and the core of everything, and that Self is the place where all love must begin. The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. - John Vance Cheney (1848 - 1922) Books are the quietest and most constant of friends. - Charles Eliot - Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ Yes right, emotional intelligence – EQ – enables people to be aware of how they and others feel and, more than that, to perceive the context as the ‘reality’s environment’ from a perspective that offers a large and holistic view about the connections and relationship set there. But… It is Ethical Intelligence – EI - the one which empowers people to use this awareness in the right way. Being ethically intelligent means a lot more than knowing what is right : it gives the mental power and courage –why not :-) - to Do what is right. Following the last statement, it means that ethical intelligence may be the most practical and valuable form of intelligence. Here is the first difference : ‘stand-by’><’action”. From this perspective, IQ + EQ = Free thinker, or wise, or whatever... AND IQ + EQ = Free "do-er" - EI By Ioana Elena David - Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? Three quotes from Rough Spot Training by Terry London "A person's behavior will follow his emotions toward his life events" "If a person cannot control his emotional response to his life events, he will either make poor behavioral choices, or sabotage his performance" "If a person is deficient in emotional management, then limit setting, behavioral modification and behavioral skills training will have a limited and short term effect". The second one always makes me think of Carlos Zombrana, for those of you who are Chicago Cub fans. The third quote really has a lot of implications for schools and anyone else in society having o deal with MISbehavior. In that same book he offers a Life Skill Model by Stanton Peele Emotional Management Self-soothing and regulation Goal setting and attainment Problem Solving Communication skills Behavioral skills Literacy and Academic skills If people are deficient in the first life skill, there are more likely to make the mistake of trying to self-sooth or regulated with smoking, drinking, using drugs, etc because those things will serve more purpose in their lives. They are also more like to have "mistaken" goals than be seeking to achieve healthier ones. Too often schools work with the bottom four skills at best. Kids (or anyone for that matter, including teachers) have to be able to get into the right, or best possible emotional place to do the following: 1) access and act on helpful advice and information 2) consider consequence before acting 3) learn from our own and others experiences 4) act in accordance with our own morals and values 5) function at levels we are capable of 6) make the best possible behavioral and lifestyle choices. And the best way to help people learn to get into the best possible emotional place is to teach them Unconditional Self-Acceptance To have an internal locus of control To recognize and correct their irrational thinking To have a step-by-step process by which to manage their emotional responses to troublesome life events By Ray Mathis --- 06:16 Here's the EVENT -> MEANING -> FEELING -> BEHAVIOUR worksheet that we do in class. We also went thru it on the latest video EQ-101.2... where Paula? took me thru the exercise, on camera. Try it... it's most enlightening! --- Gwen, on the 1-pound of branches, please add 4-2' long by 1/2" thick on the 2-pounds of branches, please add 8-2' long by 1/2" thick on the 5-pounds of branches, please add 10-2' long by 1/2" thick and change "plus shipping" to "plus postage" (sorry somehow it sent before I was done typing...) http://eucproducts.com/leaves.html on the leaves page, where it says, Should stay fresh for 3-5 weeks, if bagged and kept refrigerated please add... Better yet, they should keep for months, or longer, if kept in the freezer! Thanks. Did you get some eucs from me a few weeks ago? Did you get a chance to take any pics with your little dudes? Need some more? - Matt --- 06:37 oh, I see what you mean, Erin... none of the options for branches are the ones you want! sooooo, I just emailed the lady who does our website, and asked her to add the following: on the 1-pound of branches, please add 4-2' long by 1/2" thick on the 2-pounds of branches, please add 8-2' long by 1/2" thick on the 5-pounds of branches, please add 10-2' long by 1/2" thick I already noted that know you want 4-2' by 1/2" thick. Next time, we'll be ready for you! Thanks for pointing this out. - Matt --- PP = 2677 -12 Groupon, $24 at Mel's Drive-in -15 GoDaddy -16 GoDaddy -274 USPS -9 24 hr --- 07:43 Hilleary, MMF On the main file, I moved those Tickets where Type was empty to Donations, and moved the Notes data to the Appeal column. I also exported all (relevant) data to separate spreadsheets, named by tablename. I didn't do the temp tables (ending with "T") nor the lookup tables (ending with LU) DONID is their Patron ID Contributions and Donors were exported as single files, tho' that same data is in the main spreadsheet Since it has a large attachment, please let me know that you successfully received this message. What else? - Matt --- 07:49 go... (without a huge rush, please!) 08:20 ferry, made it (by 2 folks) but took soldout, so took bus back seat! Slept the ENTIRE way, to 3 blocks past market very nice! --- 09:30 Building Resiliency 101 (see PDF) Be Responsible for yourself Victim or not? yes, I'm stressed, and yes, I can do something about it. How Pressure Affects Work and Performance Boredom Comfort Stretch Strain Panic How to Deal - Identify that you're stressed Awareness ground self in present moment recognize I'm in an emotional place Stressor -> Perception -> Response event -> Thoughts -> Physical Beliefs Emotional Assumptions Behavioural Re-framing 4:4:8 inhale for 4 old for 4 exhale for 8 Emotional Cognitive Behavioural Physciological Fight or Flight Symptoms Headaches cold/flu sleep problems anxiety concentrating muscle tension stiff back and neck frustration fatigue/low energy sweaty hands/feet pounding heart inner tension/unease What's my Attitude choice today? Guided Imagery create joy humour Laugh, avg adult, 7-10x/day what are you stressed about? which ones of these do you have control over? one of biggest stressors is other people's behaviour how am I gonna React to this person's behaviour what are our assumptions & expectations? What can I do? no victim mentality Long-Term Strategies 1. Eat regular meals and stay hydrated. Symptoms of low blood sugar and dehydration can mimic stress. 2. List factors that contribute to or trigger stress responses. 3. Prioritize the factors, identifying those that can be managed now or later. 4. Determine how stress will/will not help you address or achieve each item on your list. 5. Write out worst case scenarios - be realistic. What will happen if you do not address or achieve everything on your list? 6. How do your own, or others’, expectations relate to items on this list? Do they contribute to your stress? Are these expectations realistic and accurate? 7. What are the best possible outcomes related to each factor? 8. What options are currently available to help achieve these outcomes? (i.e. delegate tasks, re-structure how projects are managed, plan ahead for project deadlines, etc.) 9. Identify items on your list that translate to achievable goals. 10. Start working through achievable goals - unless you change or develop coping strategies, your stress level will remain high. exercise move your body! sleep we're sleep deprived less sleep, crave fat and salt relax, breathe and meditate unplug, quiet your mind Exercise • Get at least eight hours of sleep per night • Eat regular, healthy meals • Relax, breathe, and meditate • Schedule regular periods of downtime • Try to routinely arrange your everyday activities Tips for Taking Care of Yourself Tips for Taking Care of Yourself • Remember that it is normal to experience stress and even to feel overwhelmed at times • Spend time with people who you care about and who care about you • Allow daily quiet time for reflection • Acknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and reactions • Remember that work is just one part of your life • Avoid spending time with negative people 9 Tips to Reduce Stress at Work • Develop effective time management and organization skills • Relax/breathe deeply when you recognize symptoms of stress • Take frequent short breaks • Lighten up - is the worst-case scenario realistic? • Learn to listen - to yourself and others • Change your environment • “Don’t sweat the small stuff” • Find a mentor • Spend time with optimistic people (n.d.) Diaphragmatic Breathing. Retrieved from http://www.cchs.net/health/health-info/docs/2400/2409.asp?index=9445 Short, E. (2008). Reduce Tension with Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Retrieved from http://stress.about.com/od/generaltechniques/ht/howtopmr.htm Short, E. (2006). Use Guided Imagery For Relaxation. Retrieved from http://stress.about.com/od/generaltechniques/ht/howtoimagery.htm Short, E. (2009). Benefits and Different Types of Meditation Techniques. Retrieved from http://stress.about.com/od/lowstresslifestyle/a/meditation.htm The Stretching Institute. (n.d.). Stretching at your Desk or Computer. Retrieved from http://www.co.pinellas.fl.us/persnl/Transition/stretching.htm (n.d.). Posture for a Healthy Back. Retrieved from http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/back_health/hic_posture_for_a_healthy_back.a spx References Smith, M., Kemp, G., Segal, J. (2010). Laughter is the Best Medicine. Retrieved from http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm Reh, F. (n.d.). How To Help Reduce Stress At Work. Retrieved from http://management.about.com/od/yourself/ht/ReduceStress05.htm (n.d.). Physical Effects of Stress. Retrieved from http://www.stress-management-for-health.com/physical-effects-of-stress.html ask others, how would you see this? Gail Parsons Gail Parsons B.A., M.S., founder and President of Lifecycle Focus holds a Bachelors Degree in Psychology from the University of Rhode Island and a Masters Degree from Wheelock College in Boston. For nearly two decades, Gail has provided training and counseling nationwide on a wide range of pivotal issues related to managing stress, and balancing work and life. She has extensive experience leading and facilitating support groups and focus groups on stress management, including the definition of stress, costs of stress in personal and professional life, strategies for developing resiliency, causes of burnout, techniques for coping and taking care of self, strategies for overcoming procrastination, managing demands of work and family, relaxation exercises, and how to maintain a state of relaxation. --- Personal Responsibility starts with ER! --- 11:41 Hi Matt, Can you write a brief description of what covered in EQ101#3 so I can write a little promo for the weekly newsletter. I would love to get a description by tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon. EQ-101, #3 is the latest in the series on Emotional Intelligence: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence. In this segment, we cover the most mis-understood and disrespected of our feelings -- Anger. Anger, handled poorly, can ruin families, relationships and lives... but handled properly, it can be a powerful motivational tool, used to keep ourselves safe, to get more of what we want in life and to actually bring people closer to us. Join us for this important information that you've probably never heard before! --- It's on it's way to you! You should get it probably tomorrow. I sent you as many branches as I could possibly fit into 2 game boxes, and I sent a huge variety of thicknesses, with/without leaves, with/without side branches, new/dried, the works! let me know what you like best, and we'll adjust in the future, k? (sorry again about not grabbing your address the first time 'round!) Enjoy! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Euc order From: "Shirley Smith" Date: Tue, March 19, 2013 11:35 am To: Hey Matt, Hope all is well. How’s my Euc order coming? Thanks Shirley Smith --- Julian@MonetizeMyMarketing.com Did you get my payment, Julian? What happens next? Thanks. - Matt --- >> look for 5rhythms in Marin --- 3:15 Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ IQ + EQ = SELF REALISATION By SAMSON QUAIN --- Hi Sylvia, I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks! Unfortunately, I'm working outta town most of this week, so your order should go out on Friday, when I return home. A Combo pack is usually loose leaves, plus branches, some with leaves on, some not... is this what you want? Also, I can do branches up to 3' long... want some long ones? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Euc Testimonial (via e) Thanks so much Matt! You've got a forever customer here. All the best, Erin --- Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ Hi EQ + Hi IQ = Hi S (salary, satisfaction, etc.) Low EQ + HI IQ = Hi D (dissatisfaction, distressl, etc.) Hi EQ + Low IQ = HR By Martin Nelson --- No one cares what you know, until they know that you care. By Martin Nelson --- FB-TH,AH,BH Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves affects us inside ourselves. - Stephen R. Covey --- 5:55 out of IMS pizza walk rain Ian(!) first card Borneo Marin B Red b-ball fried calamari 8:16 SR bandcamp drizzle >> compile D-R's --- Texting Increases -- Along With Twisted Tales http://www.forbes.com/sites/marketshare/2013/03/19/texting-increases-along-with-twisted-tales/ - It Can’t Just Be About The Money. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/fear/its-cant-just-be-about-the-money - Intend - The Change ReminderBy Six SecondsView More By This Developer Open iTunes to buy and download apps. https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/intend-the-change-reminder/id604336334 --- , remove San Rafael date from NDW - 9:01 FB-ND I'm afraid we had to cancel the class we were gonna have on April 5 in San Rafael (for my b-day). :( We'll have a bay-area class someday, but not yet. We are, however, having the May 17 class in Fresno... for sure! Do you realize that if you're afraid of your own fear, and/or your own anger, that means you're afraid of YOURSELF -- and that's no fun! ND Event https://www.facebook.com/events/437514599667985/?ref=2 --- 9:55 - 10:41 (48 min) Patrick 559-994-9217 skin cancer in front of my ear elongated cut, stitches knot where jaw hinges removed in Sept. nuclear isotope, shows up real bright CT, iodine, burns skin doctor, everything's fine birthday ride, Bass lake had an appt. she cancel it if nothing there. no, keep it. ? oncologist CA Cancer Institute re: radiation skin doctor said everything's fine doc shows scan light yellow, firey light, salivary glad behind jaw how to proceed surgeon, to remove then external radiation to clean it up nothing anywhere else, that's good tries to make an appt, quick, within a week referral back to primary primary got the fax, waiting for fax waited another 3 days finally got referral call surgeon so pissed off for dropping the ball treating her like she's my best friend my life's in her hands she's on my side, now still work 8-10hrs/day, 6-7 days a week not ready to go I told him, emergency surgery, then radiation soon! share with Terri when I have an epiphany, or work thru something stay in it long enough so she can be with me. rather than figuring it all out, and then leaving her out of it. plus, she has awesome female insights that I would never have. seething anger show negatives, including quiet, controlling, passive/aggressive what if pain was a feeling, but not nec. a 'bad' feeling. what if we can do what we want with the pain, and the tumor --- 11:11 MMF There is approximately zero documentation that I have/know of. You might check with Brian, if he's still available. Yes, ConSource is the source of a contribution. ConSourceType is just another way to differentiate the ConSources. Yes, the default for MailOK was false. Attached are the different types of Lookups, those should help clarify things. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Exporting for Patron Manager migration From: "Hilleary Burgess" Date: Tue, March 19, 2013 11:21 am To: Matt, This looks great. The only possible remaining gap is PM being able to interpret some of the field names. Is there a key or list with definitions somewhere? I’d like to provide field definitions to PM so they don’t make erroneous assumptions. As examples, for “ConSource” and “ConSourceType” I can extrapolate that the abbreviated word is Contribution, but it’s not clear what’s in that field. My questions: 1) The MailOK field contents seem to indicate that 14,273 donors out of 14,513 don’t want mail, and only 240 do. Is that true, or is the default FALSE and no data was entered? 2) My question about ConSource; in the contributions table, many records have “Tickets” in this field, and have amounts that seem more compatible with ticket purchases than contributions. (Knowing what the field contents signify would answer this question.) 3) Musicians table a. Columns J-O are mostly FALSE. Is that real data or are they defaults where no data was entered? b. OTMusician1, 2? c. “Compensation Date” and “PayDate” seem synonymous. (Again, definitions would answer this.) Hilleary Burgess --- 11:26 MFF Wow, I missed another BOD meeting... I'm really sorry. I got off the ferry tonight, looked at the time, and realized that I missed the whole thing. completely forgot about it...not cool. Since I've been travelling, I've bben pretty useless to you guys, except for an occassional house managing job (which you can actually count on me for). I apologize to you all (esp. to Paul) for not following-thru on the mailing lists and databases and google docs properly. I've been a horrible data manager. I have no good excuses... I just didn't make it happen. If you can find someone else to manage the mailing lists, that would be super (Arlo is the best, btw)! Again, I haven't pulled my weight (which is significant), and I apologize, as you guys deserve better... everyone else seems to do what they say they're gonna do... except me. - Matt --- 3.20 7 months at IMS (wow) 06:47 FB-EQR was: Celebrating the Awesome Power of Emotional Intelligence at EQRocks.com now: Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness and success! - Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. - Oprah Winfrey "I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the source of national action, the human heart as the source of national compassion, and in the human mind as the source of our invention and our ideas." - John F. Kennedy winning an argument is never the goal of a true spiritual master. Winning someone's heart is. We can all experience times when we feel disconnected from the universe, but you have never been abandoned. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the morning light. Give thanks for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and give thanks for the joy of living. And if perchance you see no reason for giving thanks, rest assured the fault is in yourself. - American Indian Saying --- What's one "aha" from eWeek so far? Just listened the recording of Annie Murphy Paul's "Learning is social" and that reminded me of how positive expectations increase the performance and how intentionally seeing the potential in people makes them feel appreciated, respected and honored. Which ultimately relates back to the performance. Also interested how trust is interlinked there. --- Do you believe that there is strong relationship between Decision Making Process and Emotional Intelligence ? The Emotional Intelligence is going to be critical success factor and inherent characteristics for the Business Leaders with its direct impact on Employee motivation , morale and productivity. What is your thought process for impact of high EQ on Decision Making process for the Business Leaders ? Ray Mathis • Three quotes from Rough Spot Training by Terry London "A person's behavior will follow his emotions toward his life events" "If a person cannot control his emotional response to his life events, he will either make poor behavioral choices, or sabotage his performance" "If a person is deficient in emotional management, then limit setting, behavioral modification and behavioral skills training will have a limited and short term effect". The second one always makes me think of Carlos Zombrana, for those of you who are Chicago Cub fans. The third quote really has a lot of implications for schools and anyone else in society having o deal with MISbehavior. In that same book he offers a Life Skill Model by Stanton Peele Emotional Management Self-soothing and regulation Goal setting and attainment Problem Solving Communication skills Behavioral skills Literacy and Academic skills If people are deficient in the first life skill, there are more likely to make the mistake of trying to self-sooth or regulated with smoking, drinking, using drugs, etc because those things will serve more purpose in their lives. They are also more like to have "mistaken" goals than be seeking to achieve healthier ones. Too often schools work with the bottom four skills at best. Kids (or anyone for that matter, including teachers) have to be able to get into the right, or best possible emotional place to do the following: 1) access and act on helpful advice and information 2) consider consequence before acting 3) learn from our own and others experiences 4) act in accordance with our own morals and values 5) function at levels we are capable of 6) make the best possible behavioral and lifestyle choices. And the best way to help people learn to get into the best possible emotional place is to teach them Unconditional Self-Acceptance To have an internal locus of control To recognize and correct their irrational thinking To have a step-by-step process by which to manage their emotional responses to troublesome life events --- lost 5 subs this month, and 5 last month. --- 07:37 LF group Good job, Judy and Don, and Rebekah -- I'm glad you're putting these tools to work! I, too, had a difficult conversation last night, as I re-established my integrity with a group that is important to me. I'm on the Board of a non-profit, and they 'expected' me to be doing more than I was doing... I didn't say I'd do more... but they still expected it. Soooo, I needed to have the conversation that said, clearly, what I am willing to do, and what I'm not willing to do... and I have someone else who will do what they expected me to do... so I feel a lot cleaner about it all. They were disappointed, but still... I'm now clean with them, and with it all, which feels much better. Thanks gang. Good stuff! How'z it going for you Mike and Charles? - Matt --- 08:01 go --- IMS Vision - EyeMed Insurance included with Medical, automatic enrollment 866-299-1358 http://www.enrollwitheyemed.com http://www.eyemedvisioncare.com/member EYEXAM OF CALIFORNIA 100 BATTERY ST SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94111 (415) 399-1773 0.1 Miles mperelstein, mperelstein@us.imshealth.com / 0694 / 2gh Eye Exam Exam $10 Copay Dilation $0 Eye Exam Refraction $0 Lens Single Vision $10 Copay Bi-focal $10 Copay Tri-focal $10 Copay Standard Progressive Lens $75 Copay Premium Progressive Lens $75 Copay + (80% of Charge) less $120 allowance Other Lens Types 80% of Charge Frame Frame 80% of Balance over $130 Lens Options Standard Polycarbonate $40 Copay Standard Plastic Scratch Coating $0 Tint $15 Copay UV Treatment $15 Copay Standard Anti-reflective (A/R) Coating $45 Copay Other Coatings 80% of Charge Oversized Lenses - Single Vision 80% of Charge Oversized Lenses - Multi-focal 80% of Charge Prism 80% of Charge Other Lens Options 80% of Charge Contacts Contact Lens - Conventional 85% of Balance over $125 Contact Lens - Disposable Balance over $125 Standard Fit And Follow Up $40 Copay Premium Fit And Follow Up 90% of Charge Non-Scheduled Items Doctor Misc Material 80% of Charge Non-scheduled Item - Retail 80% of Charge Laser Vision Correction LASIK and PRK Procedures 85% of Charge --- ND testimonial that makes total sense to me I know in the past there were times I was afraid of my own anger what I might do or losing control and ending up in a ward,, thank goodness for doctor downing, new directions Matt and Paula I realized I could met up and not be nuts ha ha ha ha --- Help finish this formula: IQ + EQ = ___ I like Martins! IQ + EQ = Good positive working atmosphere where great things get done....and if they dont we know how to talk it through! By Andrea CJ McIntosh --- MFF I can download 'em. When do you need them by? in what sort order? are those 2x4" labels ok? Any you don't want (BPT keeps them forever, right)? M -------- Original Message -------- Subject: BPT mail list From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Wed, March 20, 2013 12:25 pm To: Matt Perelstein Is it possible for you to print out mail labels from BPT? I could send you a list, or could you download? A --- Thanks, Arlene... you've very kind! Yes, I bought tickets to Monk, so we'll be there... mostly for the 'testing'! :) -Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Agenda for meeting tonight From: Arlene Moorehead Date: Wed, March 20, 2013 12:58 pm To: Matt Perelstein No need to apologize Matt. Hope you can come to the Monk event so we can test out the current batch of brew. Cheers, A --- PP = 2768 --- chatting with Amber re: doggies and kitties and old bosses. EQ-101 .1 - EQ in general .2 - Emotional Healing (how emotions get started and how to unravel them) .3 - Anger! --- 6:03 out dinner? --- KFC Schools teach -- RRR for IQ - Reading - wRiting - aRithmetic but we need to add -- RRR for EQ - Release - Replace - Rejoice! EQ is an attitude adjustment. EQ means you subscribe to ER ER = Emotional Responsibility That's where it all starts ER, EQ, PR, SR, World Peace Teach EQ. People don't KNOW that they can be responsible for their own emotions. D-R --- Mary Hallgren MBA, CET commented on Do you have to have beliefs? or, could you just use "ideas" that work? There are also free chosen beliefs. These are ideas we choose to believe in that we have not proof but to believe in them is useful. Wayne, I like Dan Dennett’s TED talk the best and makes the most sense. However Memes is taking beliefs in a different direction than I was thinking although I see your point. Beliefs or ideas are replicated and part of evolution. I think we can move through these ideas easier if we don’t lock ourselves into them. Ideas do catch on like viruses. Robert Dilts wrote an article about thought viruses. He called a doubt a “thought viruses” because it destroys good thinking. Andrew, you were thinking in the same train of thought that I was thinking. It is all a good discussion. --- 3 SIMPLE CONVERSATIONS THAT WILL CHANGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/3-simple-conversations-that-will-change-the-rest-of-your-life "Thank You..." gratitude "I'm sorry..." single biggest barrier "Why...", curiosity 3 SIMPLE CONVERSATIONS THAT WILL CHANGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Conversations consume most of your life. Besides sleeping and eating, everything else is a conversation. Conversations with yourself. Conversations with your family and friends. Conversations with peers and coworkers. You’re taught to choose your conversations carefully — knowing the power that words bring to any situation. The right conversation is transformational. The right conversation can inspire a tired army to conquer for one more day. The right conversation can bring hope and happiness to a sick and suffering patient. The right conversation can turn enemies into friends, collaborators, and fellow conquerors. Any situation, no matter how bad it might appear at first, can be remedied with the right conversation. So being a master of that right conversation is an invaluable skill to have. Without it, you find yourself alienating advocates and burning bridges. If you’re going to be successful in life, there are three important conversations you need to master. 1. “Thank You…” Gratitude enables tremendous potential in all those who experience its impact. Being thankful enables you to see opportunities that others don’t see. When you’re thankful you are more likely to be honest, work harder, and collaborate at a level that makes you a prized asset in any situation. If you find yourself acting passive aggressive you know that you need to work on being more thankful. Like any habit, gratitude is an attitude formed deliberately. It doesn’t happen automatically (or magically); gratitude occurs when you intentionally take time to pause and remind yourself of all the good in your life — even if your current situation might not seem all that amazing. 2. “I’m Sorry…” The single biggest reason that friendships become fractured and potential gets wasted is a lack of humility when something unexpected and negative occurs. If you can learn to apologize, you stand to prevail over a lifetime of impossible obstacles. A simple heartfelt apology instantly mends what no other amount of explanation can fix. Your whole being wants to factor and frame and finesse; so it is memorable when you can simply pause and take responsibility for your actions. An unqualified apology. No excuses. No promises. Just an genuine recognition that things didn’t go the way you intended. That’s the secret to fixing bad situations. 3. “Why”? Curiosity is the quickest gateway to breakthrough. It stems from dissatisfaction with your current situation. And builds on your anticipation for how things could be. There’s nothing wrong with questioning everything. You might annoy those around you sometimes; but let’s be frank — it’s your life to live. Your success to attain. So be curious. Ask the hard questions. Don’t accept easy explanations, even though that is what comes easiest. It’s all too easy to just shake your head and nod, pretending like you know what’s going on — all the while hoping that no one figures out that you don’t have a clue. And that’s just silly. And damaging. Don’t hesitate to ask questions like: “What makes you say that?” The answers you’ll get will surprise not only you but everyone else around you pretending like they have it all together too. Conversations are your lifeline to breakthrough. The right conversation can turn the odds in your favor and build the added momentum you need to push you past the obstacles in your way. The right conversation can literally change the rest of your life. Sometimes that conversation is just a few right words bravely spoken. How would your life change with a better conversation? --- http://www.mtmag.com.au/topics/baden-eunson-blog/ cool site format (!) Notice how, instead of inline links being a lighter, they're darker, and bold, while all the rest of the print is at <100% dark (lighter). I like it. format D-R? - 9:25 S.IT/EQr http://Scoop.it/EQRocks 3 Great Questions (and essential EQ skills): "Thank You..." -- gratitude "I'm sorry..." -- humility, single biggest barrier to relationships(!) "Why?" -- curiosity The right conversation will take very little time, cost you nothing (except some courage) and could very well transform your life! --- ----------- mcp ------------ “tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.” --- FB-NDG "10 Real Life Stories of Healing and Hope!" -- how'z that sound for an eBook? Who wants to contribute their story about how they healed their crapola from childhood, and feel better about themselves and their lives? I have 3-4 already... how about yours? 1-page or 100x... whatever you wish to share with the world (coming from "I", of course). We'll put it together in an eBook and get it online. --- Show Detail: EQ-101: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Episode 3 http://mendocoasttv.org/schedule3.php#featured ShowID: 7653 Event Date: 3/19/2013 Length: 00:26:16 Category: Coast Producer MCTV-production PEG: P Schedule Information: 3/22/2013 at 10:30 AM 3/24/2013 at 9:00 AM 3/26/2013 at 8:30 PM 3/27/2013 at 9:30 PM --- Sure, that sounds fine Danielle... I'll make myself available to talk with you at 2 tomorrow, and I'll be at a clear place to call in at show time on Monday! Any particular theme for this show? We're gonna get along great, and I think you're gonna love talking about EQ... it's such good news for all! - Matt 916-599-8597 p.s. -- here's what I've been thinking lately... see if you agree. EQ start with ER, or Emotional Responsibility. Without ER, we're a blaming, whining, powerless, victim, who is effected/affected by anything or anybody outside or around us. BUT, if we can take that leap to say, 'Hey, NOBODY is in charge of my thoughts, my feelings, and especially my behaviours, but ME!', then, and only then, are we in control of our lives. In fact, these are some of the ONLY things in life that we truly do have power and influence over! yes? EQ starts with ER, ER leads to PR (personal responsibility), which in turns leads to SR (social responsibility), which someday (soon, I hope) could very well lead to world peace! so... yeah... whatchathink? - 10:22 I'm droopin' hard... lay down for a bit, ey? --- 3.21 05:20 up they say that hitting snooze on our alarm is a way of not being integrity with ourselves... ouch! , 11am call from Danielle re: Emotional Physical Therapy >> Noon Monday, radio show with Danielle re: Emotional Physical Therapy , BPT lables this weekend id/pw, arlene? "Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break." - Jane Wells it is okay to want to make lots of plans, but it is also okay to make lots of room for that which planning can never produce. Be led by joy, Matt. It's the whole point. -------------- mcp ------------ You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think. - A Course in Miracles We spend the first half of our lives learning what we love - we should find a way to do those things the second half. - David Whyte "We should be able to explain why we do the things we do. If you can't explain your actions to others, it's likely you can't explain your actions to yourself. And that's not a good sign." I nourish the universe and the universe nourishes me. - Deepak Chopra - Intellect (left-brain) Heart (right-brain) Courage Autonomy Purpose Self-Mastery - Stress and negative emotion drains energy, focus and productivity - Low confidence causes stress, and stress causes disease and absenteeism - Empathy and intuition are powerful leadership skills - Sales teams taught EQ skills over a 6-mo period outperformed their peers by 15% Love, Joy, Appreciation, Gratitude, Happiness High Energy, Good feelings Fear, Anger, Sadness, Grief, Depression Low Energy, Negative feelings FEAR = Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality Cataracts (blind spots) of the heart and mind. Our brain is wonderful at creating self-fullfilling prophesies. Focus of Attention (energy) Perception (meaning) Name it to Tame it! Left-brain understands, determines it's not a threat calm down the fight/flight response. Mindfulness meditation. 'Hygiene for the Brain' - Valencia Ray, MD webinar from 6 sec. - I watch my breathing, as an observer, from the far right. My right-brain doesn't trust my left-brain, in some areas, and ----------------- mcp -------------(!) ND Brochure Self-processing! "Dealing with issues in the #1 most important Relationship on earth... our relationship with OURSELF! our elf-self our little kid inside the conversation that happens Between our left- and right-brain(!) the conversation that happens Between us, as an adult, and our inner child, whatever age the feeling about this particular situation, came up/happened/got stuck. who or what are you angry at? myself. for what? letting me down, disappointing me, not doing my best, for eating like a pig, for choosing not to care sometimes, for messing up, for hurting people. (shame stuff) who or what hurt you the most? how did you hurt you the most? who or what are you afraid of? in what ways do you NOT trust yourself? Right-brains are fear-based, at some level. Left-brains are there to protect us... or we wouldn't have survived this long. --- if we have a 'perfect' picture of something in our brain... why push it? why change it? more is not nec. better. If it already feels good, leave it alone. --- ND Brochure working out cleansing refreshing rejuvinate clean out the cobwebs hygiene for the heart brain washing(!) --- 06:37 FB-IM Wow... so sorry to hear about Patrick's cancer! How are YOU doing with it all?!? Praying alot Yeah, I'll bet! What a shock, ey?! damn. sooo glad you guys have the emotional tools to get thru this! Today You are so right on I believe that in the past I would have pulled a way in order to avoid as much pain as possible. But today I am consciously choosing to stay connected and not miss out on a single thing. I am choosing to hang on for the roller coaster ride Good for you!! way to go, Terri! that's really cool... 'cause it would probably be easier, less painful, to run. you're a brave(r) girl these days, ey?!? I'm so proud of you and the Pat-man... you guys have about the highest EQ, and actually live it, than most anyone I know. --- Download Business Case http://www.6seconds.org/home/download/?did=1 Research has provided clear evidence that emotionally intelligent leaders are more successful. Many of these studies yield bottom-line results: At PepsiCo, for example, executives selected for EQ competencies generated 10% more productivity. High EQ sales people at L’Oreal brought in $2.5 million more in sales. An EQ initiative at Sheraton helped increase market share by 24%. The US Airforce is using EQ to screen pararescue jumpers to save $190 million. over 70% of the top issues in the workplace are tied to leadership. The evidence is increasingly compelling. The measurable, learnable skills of emotional intelligence make a significant impact on organizational performance. EQ may be essential to differentiating world-class organizations in an increasingly complex and competitive marketplace. In a recent study, when asked “What are the top issues you face at work?” leaders identified that 76% are on the people/relational side, and only 24% on the finance/technical side. Among these 135 respondents, a massive 89% identify EQ as “highly important” or “essential” to meeting their organizations’ top challenges.2 --- Matt; I look forward to talking with you today at 2pm EDT. Danielle Mincey White, Ph.D. Intuitive Life Coach/Energy Psychologist 703-314-5718 --- Fantastic, Michele -- thanks much for the pics -- you did wonderful work bringing the stick to life! So glad you enjoyed the Euc! Take care. - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus/ Twisted Hair Talking Stick From: Michele Jakoulov Date: Wed, March 20, 2013 12:36 pm To: Dear Matt: Many, many thanks for sending along the eucalyptus branch and picking such a perfect one, as well!! I am sending along photos of the finished talking stick, and so you can see all the many beings who showed up in the branch, once I began to work with it. Quite a wild experience! Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you, as I appreciate your efforts to find something that would fit what I was looking for! All the best, Michele ************************************************Michele Jakoulov Administrator Harvard Biophysics Program Medical School Campus C2-122 240 Longwood Ave. Boston, MA 02115 (617) 432-3802 direct line (617) 495-3360 program line (617) 432-4360 fax --- 07:27 FB-NDG I think one of my biggest fears, still, is people being mad at me, and/or judging me. I can deal with it better now, but I'm often surprised that my motivation in doing something, or more often NOT doing something, is based on 'them', and they're potential unhappiness with me. hmmm... stupid habit. One way I've been practicing getting over this is holding the door open for people. I walk thru the ferry building twice a day, as do about 5,000 others... and security refuses to put door stops in to hold the doors open... so I do it (for a minute, or two, or 5)! I enjoy watching people's eyes and faces -- some surprised, many appreciative, some like 'what's wrong with you?' -- but it's a fun way to make eye contact with most who usually look down and hide. (the really tough guys, and untrusting girls, go open a dif. door :) --- yay, thanks Danielle! I couldn't find my reply in Sent Items, nor on LI... (as you can see, I'm a right-right-brainer, and I'm choosing to feel safe with you, so I can be the most authentic me for your listeners.) So here are some potential topics for our discussion: Define EQ Left-brain / Right-brain Distinction IQ vs. EQ (eq > iq?) IQ + EQ = LOL !! All starts with ER! "No one has ever made you angry, or hurt your feelings, without your permission/involvement." Knowing this, changes EVERYTHING, and give YOU power and control over your life! Make the leap/take the pledge -- "I am totally, 100% responsible for my thoughts, my feelings and especially, my behaviours." EQ can bring world peace, by changing the world from the inside out. EQ start with ER ER -> PR -> SR -> World Peace! 4 Steps to Learning (anything) Unconsciously Incompetent Consciously Incompetent Consciously Competent Unconsciously Competent 3 Steps to Good Mental Health Awareness Acceptance Action 7 Steps to Processing Negative Feelings (physical therapy!) Identification Knowledge Acceptance Expression Release (physically, or thru tapping) Replace Rejoice! (acronym IKAERR, pronounced "I Care") Event -> Meaning -> Feeling -> Behaviour How Meanings and Emotions are formed, and how to unravel them. (See the middle of EQ-101.2, and attached, for an explanation & example) that kinda thing... --- 07:55 to Mike Duffy, IMS, et. al. 2 New EQ-Related Items A powerful workshop/recording, happening today: The Neuroscience of High Performing Teams - Paul Zak's Latest Research http://www.eventbrite.com/event/5548630102 ... and another Business Case for EQ (see attached). Enjoy! - Matt --- 07:56 out 08:20 ferry made it by 20x Tuesdays are the fullest (and the only day this week that they sold out) (and I sooo needed that great nap!) it was super-clear out, but chilly and I didn't wear my jacket this morning so I stood inside. I could see forward, and the city was sooo beautiful ahead of us! wish we could go outside on the fore ship. good writing in little fat book - >> this weekend. - get 501c3 for date - Flip thru notebooks looking for: >>, --->, D-R and ND Brochure - Compile Stats - Write 'er up! - there's some possibility that I'll get to WFH the week after next my birthday week(!) as the internet's not ready in the new office. that would be so super-cool! (done, and it WAS great!) - Jim's out today, Youde went to China for 3 weeks, and Shruti won't be here for another half-hour... so no one is here in this whole section (exc. Dong). - got a half-flatbread ham/egg/cheese/veggie 'sub'? today at Subway $3.25, good (not great, but good) yet another Subway on Pine and Battery (coulda gone there yesterday after eye dr. appt) since 'they' moved in (consulting), I/'we' seem to feel more comradarie (at least I do) - MendoCoastTV.org has me under Lectures/Informational Programs http://mendocoasttv.org/VODLibrary.html#featured http://mendocoasttv.org/Lectures.html#featured MFF: Films and Film Makers http://mendocoasttv.org/MendoFilmFestFilmsandFilmakers.html#featured --- PKP's new password at work bellaspot --- 3-3:15 nappage(!) my place, on Market, on the steps, in the sun very nice! --- 6:35 out! --- 7:20 ferry Alicia and Rene 8:15ish Eric Ives, drunk, lonely still fun, tho! Sharon called too --- Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book Emotional Intelligence, Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. "Emotion can lead to our worst decisions or our best ones: The difference is emotional intelligence." "No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually important in the making of a leader. You just can't ignore it." In Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman reported that 80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performers are in the domain of emotional intelligence. Numerous studies explore the financial implication of emotional intelligence; particularly how higher EQ leaders produce more powerful business results. One such study tested 186 executives on EQ and compared their scores with their company’s profitability; leaders who scored higher in key aspects of emotional intelligence (including empathy and accurate self-awareness) were more likely to be highly profitable. Restaurant managers with higher EQ create: 34% greater annual profit growth. Increased guest satisfaction Higher employee retention. - The art of Leadership, by Joshua Freedman (kindle cloud format, $0) https://read.amazon.com/?asin=B00ABRH5CI As far back as the 1st century, BC, Latin poet Publilius Syrus wrote, "Rule your feelings lest your feelings rule you." Emotions as Assets, NOT Liabilities 1. Emotions exist. 2. Emotions affect us. 3. Emotions are data and energy. There can be no true knowledge with emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt it's force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the braim must be added the experience of the soul. - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) If it feels bad, it must be bad, right? If we burn our hand on a hot stove, does that mean that stoves are bad? If we get lost reading a map, does that mean maps are useless? Fear asks, "Are you sure?" Anger asks, "Will you take action?" Emotional intelligence is about how our emotions are smart all by themselves. Emotions are a system of processing information and drawing conclusions. They can guide and help us. The terrible irony is that the more we seek to dimish and ignore our emotions, the more desperate they become to deliver their message. "What are the top issues you face at work?" 76& on the people/relational side 24% financial or technical 89% identify EQ as "highly important" or "essential" to meeting their organizations' top challenges. --- eric ives sharon pkp 10:15 EQ-101-3 is Online! Here it is: the featured show on the front page! http://mendocoasttv.org/ http://archive.org/details/7653EQ1013 YouTube EQ-101-3 http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo .mpg, 377Mb Title: EQ-101-3: Emotional Healing - Dealing with our Anger and Rage! Description: EQ-101, #3 is the latest in the series on Emotional Intelligence: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence. In this segment, we cover the benefits of the most mis-understood and disrespected of our feelings -- Anger. Anger, handled poorly, can ruin families, relationships and lives... but handled properly, it can be a powerful motivational tool, used to keep ourselves safe, to get more of what we want in life and to actually bring people closer to us. Join us for this important information that you've probably never heard before! Tags: EQ, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Healing, Mental Health, Anger, Rage, Recovery Education --- snooze (in SR bed) --- 3.22 02:12 "We will all discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own or other people's models, learn to be ourselves, and allow our natural channel to open." - Shakti Gawain money is not the issue. Having the courage to give your highest gift is the issue. --- 6 Seconds Toolkit, Know Yourself http://connectpro16008449.adobeconnect.com/p8rvq0nw1pt/ Highperforming Teams http://connectpro16008449.adobeconnect.com/p3ombi1zy0l/ --- So what is EFT? EFT (also called Tapping) is a simple yet remarkable healing system that has proven itself successful in many scientific studies. It reduces the stress that underlies much disease and emotional attachments to events. Simply put, EFT is a tapping sequence on selected meridian points on various upper body locations, while repeating phrases. EFT works on a variety of health issues, psychological problems, and performance issues, even those that have been resistant to other methods. It can be learnt and applied rapidly, which has contributed to its popularity among millions of people. --- 02:25 FB-EIN At the Heart of Leadership by Josh Freedman Matt Perelstein Hey Joshua... I bought your book when it first came out, but didn't read it. Now that's it's on my PC, I flipped thru the first few pages last night and couldn't stop! It's really excellent... great quotes, LOTs of usable statistics, cool concepts, easy to read... well done! You guys, if you wanna know about EQ, from the beginning... READ THIS BOOK!! --- 03:00 time to drive home... nice 1 nappage on 20 as soon as I started droopin', I pulled over... nice. 07:25ish home chat with Paula breakfast her work is NOT going well at PS... new boss is Horrible. --- 09:43 here IMS IMM prob list Debug review Fact reporting? Standup MMF export MFF labels - Everyone is a house with 4 rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person. - Rumer Godden Dave J. commented on When is the last time you did absolutely nothing for 10 minutes? No #texting, talking, #thinking? http://ow.ly/ipjed #mindfulness #TED I do it daily for two reason: 1) One must reflect on what has been done to analysis and effectively follow-up as needed 2) One must prepare what needs to be done to minimize the affect It goes along with the belief that one must accept the things they cannot change, the understanding to change the things they can and to know the difference between the two. --- Ray Mathis • Someone once told me "the other side of embarrassment is hidden joy". Like when a kid has a hickey. The hidden joy is that they have someone who wants to suck on their neck. When you break the word down it's em-bare-assed. In other words what we'd feel if we got caught with our pants down. Physiologically, we usually blush, and often smile (the hidden joy) When someone says they don't like something about the way we look, there's no hidden joy. At least that's the way I've always distinguished between the two. They're basically saying we don't live up to their expectations or standards. Most of us have a lot of history of others saying or indicating that in one way or another, I know I do, even if what others have said in the past doesn't exactly match what someone says in the present. When we think we don't live up to expectations, that's shame, and it's pretty common for people to react with anger to protect themselves, because it's a perceived threat to our symbolic self. And if we've had similar though not exactly identical attacks in the past, we can overreact to the nature of what they say, even if we've never had those exact words said to us before. It's the theme of what they're doing that can connect with past events, not so much the specific words. But people can and do often catch us off guard, sometimes lobbing insults out of nowhere, essentially blindsiding us. My usual response is "WTF is your problem? You got nothing better to do than rip on me?" even though I don't usually say it out loud. It's more disbelief. Like "Why would you even say something like that?" Which seems to be the way you responded to the comment. But your mom seems to have attached a different meaning to the comment, and an understandable one for a mother to take when someone attacks her cub. In the end, it's always the meaning we attach to anything that happens that determines our emotional reaction to it. --- ------------- mcp ------------ "An overreaction is an age regression" - Ray Mathis --- MFF 1:16 Arlene Got 'em, Arlene! Rather than having to download a BUNCH of separate files, and combine them all, I called BPT. They told me about a little-known feature whereby you Login to your acct, THEN click this link to download ALL our data at once (4,620 rows in our case!). https://www.brownpapertickets.com/allsales.xls 3,991 duplicate values were found and removed, 625 unique values remain. (most of these have email addresses, too, so I'll incorporate them into my email list). Should the name on the label be the Attendee name or the Shipping name (many are different)? Do you want the labels in Firstname-Lastname order, or Address, or ...? Want me to drop them at the office again? See attached. - me --- ------------- mcp ------------- "Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." - Wayne W. Dyer Richard Boyatzis: "Help students discover something about their ideal selves in learning. Thinking about strengths vs. weaknesses! We need the negative to survive, we need the positive to thrive!" --- lunch chat with pkp nappage --- 4:33 Obamacare Healthcare benefits video, 0:90 by nurses https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xr5QikGnZUA --- EQ-101.1: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - The Basics Learn how right-brain Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can improve your world in so many ways! We are taught left-brain intellectual intelligence (IQ) in schools... learn to use your WHOLE brain to have your heart and mind work together to create an awesome life! IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- Ok, hope it goes well! I'd very much like to see what you are posting/doing on my behalf, Julian. What's the plan? thx. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Reaching Out From: Julian Rifa Date: Fri, March 22, 2013 4:00 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hello Matt, My apologies for the delay, I had a couple unexpected things come up. But please look out for those fans over the weekend... your page is my biggest concern right now. I appreciate your patience. Have a great weekend, --- Online course delivery videos, quizzes, assignments students can interact https://www.coursera.org/ Join 3,037,000 Courserians EQ class, with Cert https://www.coursera.org/course/lead-ei --- 5:14 FB-MCP Here we go again... teaching EQ on TV! Me, Paula and our friend Sharon, share some of the surprising power and benefits of dealing with our own Anger! How well do YOU deal with your anger? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wZ0n6AUUwo EQ-101, #3: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - The Surprising Benefits of Anger! In this segment, we cover the benefits of the most mis-understood of our feelings -- Anger. Anger, handled poorly, can ruin lives... but handled properly, it can be a super powerful tool in your emotional toolbox! --- 5:42 Hey Marcie, Here's my first shot at the new banner... whatchathink? - Matt C:\MyApps\MFF\images\NewHeader\MFF_Header_20130322.jpg --- --- Boyatzis webinar, Case Western Reserve University Here you go: http://connectpro16008449.adobeconnect.com/p4f7e1x5ogp/ Leaders: Parents, Managers, Friends, Coaching Hope compassion, mindfulness, playfulness nurture and inspire learn and change skills we don't get convinced of things from rational arguements, they get convinced by emotional arguements, then a leader who brought out the best in you 50% in management and leadership do NOT provide value! 20-30% more Not command and control but ask and inspire resonant relationship why leaders should be coaches they end up revitalizing THEIR bodies "Primal Leadership" with Daniel Goleman the purpose of the org is the context remind us all of why we're there, very powerful sense of purpose if it's greater than us, it inspires a sense of hope trust, caring spread compassion chinese: benevolence, opening yourself for others, both pain and joy problem or growth engaged caring people care back are mindful awake and aware, to selves and others authentic, integrity, genuine, transparent are you activating human capital at your disposal? fMRI studies remembered Resonant vs. dissonant leaders neurons activated when we're tuned into others activated or actually de-activated! this is all Common Sense but it's NOT Common Practice even common curtousy ravages of cronic stress bodies are designed for a modest amount of stress, but not the HUGE amounts we have today --- 6:45-7 Scotto called, shannon's back from 2 weeks in TX and LV, NV Coachella is April 12-14, April 19-21 Indio, CA http://www.coachella.com $349 - $6500! http://www.coachella.com/2013-advance-sale-faqs >50 bands... I've heard of 1... Red Hot Chili Peppers http://www.coachella.com/lineup --- Tom fire pkp to dinner --- Euc Testimonial Naomi & Shamrock were quite happy to see that we received a new supply of Eucalyptus! Thanks! - Leigh with 2 pics... Naomi.jpg and Photo1.jpg - Hi Leigh... sooo sorry... I JUST saw your email... and your great pics! Yes, they do look quite happy with their Eucs! May I post these on our site? What type of bird are they? Did the 8-1' branches work well for them, of would you like longer (up to 3') next time, or more loose leaves, or....? Thanks again. Enjoy! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- half-price 1 day sale (wow!) to North Coast for dinner new menu NO garlic fries (no fries at all) a bunch of pizza no wild rice for PKP not good... we left. 5 orders while we were at dinner (and some at full price) and a new sub! pause on coach (will Bella and Carmel) --- 3.23 07:50 up call from Tannie Scheutte, where's my order? Paula working Jackie to get them to sign Carol in as trustee printed, saved docs in \zBiz --- "Be not be afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still." By Rajendra Grewal You have to live on this twenty-four hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect and the evolution of your immortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of the highest urgency and of the most thrilling actuality. All depends on that. We shall never have any more time. - Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931) --- Euc Testimonials My boys LOVE your leaves! Thank you again! ~Morgan - my gliders love your Euc. ;) - lm not quiet familiar with how you work.. But have to say your customer service is outstanding... Thank You.... J --- I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks!! Your order should go out on Monday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com - Sure, Brandi... keeping the leaves in the FREEZER will keep them good for a LOOOONG time! (actually, since you've been so cool, and so supportive on FB, just keep the link to that half-price page and use it whenever... but please don't share it... ok?). Enjoy! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Notification of payment received From: Special T Gliders Date: Sat, March 23, 2013 10:50 am To: "" Hey Matt, Lol! Sorry, I just can't resist a sale! :) Plus my gliders love your Euc. ;) Is there a way to store the leaves to keep them good longer? I would have ordered two combo packs but I was worried about the leaves going bad. Thanks Brandi --- ok... well, if you got no relief after dumping the emotion, that probably says that the MEANING behind the feeling is still getting you. What meaning do you have in your mind (about whatever happened) that's keeping the anger and sadness alive? --- 11 orders so far on this sale! (but 4ish were full-price, so...) --- 12:00 http://valkyriegliders.com/ContactMe.html Hey Alden! Need some more Eucs for your babies (no charge)?? Thanks for your continued support. I sent you a friend request on FB. You like branches best, right?!? See ya. Enjoy! - Matt --- Lumanation https://www.facebook.com/LUMANATION lumanation@live.com 415-328-7668 --- why the heck does everything have to be 'evidence-based', full of scientific numbers, in order for people to stand up and take notice? Why can't it just WORK... 'cause it feels good... 'cause everyone wins... 'cause it's fun?!? I'm living a right-brain existance in a left-brain world. --- Mindful (IQ) + Heartful (EQ) = Passion, Joy, Love, and Success in Life! Arati's ebook on 6 sec https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/298471 --- Resource Furniture, video of folding, convertible furniture desks, beds, coffee table, etc. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=621477237867363 --- --------------- mcp ---------------- You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry. - Abraham Lincoln (have pic) --- Be Silly. Be Honest. Be Kind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson --- Hey Tom... saw this and thought of you and the boys! https://www.facebook.com/LUMANATION Have a ROCKIN' good birthday! --- Angry – Three R Cycle - Resentment, Resistance, Revenge (note for matt…..based on comments that Paula mentioned) Matt, Iistened to your 3rd episode and it seemed timely. Not so much that I’m angry at present, just wondering why I find reasons or create reasons to become angry to then perform. It’s a very draining process in my professional career on an interpersonal level, but works really well on the racquetball court and other physical type activities. What’s the root of that………… Is that an issue with me fighting what the true nature of what my mind wants. Sort of a double bind…… Let’s talk some time. --- Robin >> Anger and what to do with it. What is it, how is it created, and what to do with it! series, a product to sell distribute content put graphics throughout on video This is it write down all the things that piss us off share it on the board after each one, look at me. so what? now what?!? now that you're aware of it... so what? fork in the road. (picture) you can go dif. directions with this! EQ-101.3 in real world, people are not reminded that they have choices ink spot on hand as an achor see it, reminds them of options, how to be angry, or not angry after awareness, have dif. options more productive and efficient sign-post, facing dif. directions road going the mountains reminders symbolism check in wear a watch make a list break old habits: awareness stop decide act speak in metaphors fork in the road plumber, dif. tools to use to turn a screw how many ways can you get to the State capital how many dif. religions are there? dif ways of life. standing, pointing in dif. directions twisted around --- PP = 3256 --- Yvette Vignando, Emotion Coaching tuning into kids webinar, 6 sec Survey: When you see your child is starting to get upset? Most: Find out what is wrong. (not!) Book: Raising an emotionally intelligent child John Gottman, Ph.D. best used when child's emotions are still at a low level after they get to a high level, it ignoring doesn't work too well. intervene early 1. what are the signs your child is getting upset 2. try to connect with child opportunity for intimacy and connection and to teach 'em 3. accept and listen say what you see... you look upset, I see you're crying. increases their vocabulary 4. validation it's ok, and normal fear, anxeity, jeolosy, anger ... we try to distract or fix because WE'RE not comfortable with feelings 5. Reflection and naming emotions only after they're not in the thick of it. are you angry or sad? are you angry or afraid? upset, angry, anxious 1. what are the signs your child is getting upset 2. try to connect with child 3. accept and listen 4. validation 5. Reflection and naming emotions books: "How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk" "Parenting with Love and Logic" "Lost at School" "STEPS" "The Dance of Anger" Name it to Tame it! Empathy from doctors: actually shortens the session. Validating the emotion SEEMS time consuming, but actually it moves the situtation further faster... Dr. Ross Greene - this approach is similar to his fantastic Collaborative Problem Solving Approach. (ND Brochure) How you feel about feelings How you think about feelings How you judge feelings. cheer up disapprove distract Emotion Dismissing The Emotion Detective Emotion Tuning When parents are critical of child's emotions vs. parents coach child's emotions Intensive physical exertion is a good anger avoidance technique. Dagny, I'd suggest helping him identify/accept/express what he's REALLY angry about, underneath the current situation... probably from the past. FYI: We just finished EQ-101.3 - The Surprising Benefits of Anger http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo How do you express your anger Do you have effective ways to manage yourself http://www.seeingredcars.com we get what we think about often what you don't want we get more of what we focus on 1. Begin by making a commitment to focus on what you want, not what you don't want Key: the words you say to yourself 2. Monitor yourself become aware of what you focus on celebrate catch yourself when your thoughts, actions and words don't align 3. Practice be persistent write it down, specifically make a contract with yourself picture it and start taking action toward --- LI-EIN How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? We just finished attending a powerful eweek webinar with Yvette Vignando on "Emotion Coaching" and I realized that what we FEEL about our feelings really colors everything! Do you value feelings or dismiss them? Are they real or just drama? Do thoughts 'matter' but feelings are just a nuisance? If we don't VALUE our feelings, chances are, we're not learning all the wonderful lessons they can teach us, both personally and professionally! - 3:33 Josh: Incredible session w. Richard Boyatzis - wow. Key points & links - this is a "must read" for all interested in EQ/EI. I've watched half of the recording so far, and it's EXCELLENT! It's taking me so long to get thru it because I've been taking so many notes. RBoyatzis has clearly been researching and teaching EQ for a looong time, and I love his insights, conclusions and passion for the subject! (more later...) My fave: "It's common sense, but it's NOT common practice!" --- Joshua Freedman is one of the world’s preeminent experts on developing emotional intelligence to improve performance. With warmth and authenticity, he translates leading-edge science into practical, applicable terms that improve the quality of workplace relationships to unlock enduring success. Joshua leads the world’s largest network of emotional intelligence practitioners and researchers; Six Seconds has offices in eight countries and practitioners in over 50. He co-developed Six Seconds’ EQ Certification Training which he has delivered on five continents as master-trainer to hundreds professionals seeking practical tools for learning and teaching emotional intelligence, and has helped launch emotional intelligence programs and companies in over a dozen countries. Freedman is one of a handful of experts in the world with over a decade of full-time experience in this emerging field. His clients include Lockheed Martin, the World Bank Group, American Express, Morgan Stanley, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Microsoft, FedEx, all branches of the US armed services, and numerous organizations around the globe. Freedman is author of INSIDE CHANGE (also in Italian), At the Heart of Leadership (in English, Chinese, and Italian) and over two dozen articles including The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence, The Workplace Issues Report, and A Hope for Change. He is coauthor of four validated psychometric assessments including the EQ Leadership Report and the Organizational Vital Signs climate index, as well a several books and training programs including the Handle With Care EQ Activity Book, the EQ Learning Journal, two volumes of the Self-Science EQ Curriculum, The EQ Leader training, and The Inside Path to Change (used by the US Navy and Marine Corps). Joshua's applied research focuses on organizational climate and the factors that enhance individual and team performance. Partnering with leaders, he works to identify key relationship and emotional intelligence factors that limit and enhance success, then helps organizations implement new system so teams excel and talent thrives. For more details, see his profile on LinkedIN, or the Freedman's YouTube Channel including clips of presentations and interviews. --- NexusEQ.com MattPerelstein / 2gh EQ Instructor and Advocate! --- Sticks and Stones do Hurt http://vimeo.com/tothisday/tothisday Happy Child.com MattPerelstein / 2gh --- 4:20 Tad Smith Hey dude... I've been watching 7's from Las Vegas... and as soon as I saw this play, I thought this was YOU! Check it out. Good memories! (hope this get thru with a huge attachment). - Matt --- ND Brochure Victim to Victorius --- The complete guide to taking notes effectively at work http://qz.com/64539/complete-guide-to-taking-notes-effectively-at-work/ --- Mind Manager / Mind Mapper Software http://www.gufile.com/b/mindjet-mindmanager-400/download downloaded, saved to C:\Temp and installed --- 6:02 Hi Cynthia, We never said users had to remove their passwords from old Access mdbs that have ULS enabled. On the contrary, we said to NOT update the file to 2010 format (.accdb), leave it in the old format (.mdb), put the security file (.mdw) somewhere accessible, and then create a special shortcut (.lnk), as described below. If they do want to upgrade their security, then: 1. Open the old database in the new Access, using the password 2. Save Database As (2007 or 2010), and presto, it's gone. 3. Open the new file directly (with no password). 4. On the File tab, click Info, and then click Encrypt with Password.... and boom, the password is reinstated in the new format (with no MDW file required). See also: Introduction to Access 2010 security http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/access-help/introduction-to-access-2010-security-HA010341741.aspx?CTT=1#_Toc265079115 Set or change Access 2003 user-level security in Access 2010 http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/support/redir/HA010341994.aspx?queryid=c48edf64%2D4bd3%2D4a77%2D903b%2D1a59b4ed84f7&respos=0&CTT=1 To use an database that has UserLevel Security in Access 2007: - Install Access 2007/ - Do NOT upgrade the database itself to the Access 2007 format (.ACCDB). It must remain in older Access format (.MDB). - The UserLevel security file is still required (default file is C:\Windows\System32\System.MDW). This file may be located elsewhere, and the filename prefix may be changed, but it must have a .MDW file extention. - Create a shortcut icon to the database, with the Target field setup as follows: [path to Access 2007 msaccess.exe] [path to .MDB database] /wrkgrp [path to .MDW security file] Example: "C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Office12\MSAccess.EXE" "K:\Access\TestDatabase.MDB" /wrkgrp "K:\Access\TestDatabaseSecurity.MDW" (NOTE: Quotes are required around any path statement that contains a Space, like "C:\Program Files") This shortcut will run Access 2007, and then open the specified database, using the associated UserLevel Security file. Therefore, as long as users enter the program using the shortcut as described, they will continue to be asked for their UserID and Password, and Access will continue to grant any assigned User and Group permissions, as before. Does that help / answer your question? Good luck with it all! - Matt --- (new poster/pics) Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking, independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. The universe is always speaking to us... sending us little messages, causing coincedences and serendipidies... reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else... something more. - Nancy Thayer Do it now. Sometimes later becomes never. Victims to Victorious If we all threw our problems in a pile and say everyone else's... we'd grab ours back. If we all put our problems out in the street, and saw everyone else's... we'd choose ours. Some think it's holding on that makes us strong... but sometimes it's letting go. - Sylvia Robinson We begin to heal ourselves when we let go of the things that hurt us in the past, forgive those who have done us wrong, and learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made. - DavesWordsOfWisdom.com It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. - E.E. Cummings Neale Donald Walsch It is possible to make a point without making an enemy. It is possible to be right without being righteous. Debating does not have to be debasing. Winning an argument is never the goal of a true spiritual master. Winning someone's heart is. --- :|] makes a cool robot face(!) --- 6:29 FB-ND 1st order change is thinking differently about something (IQ) and the change is sustained for as long as the thinking is. 2nd order change is FEELING differently about something, a shift to a deeper emotional layer (EQ), where lasting change is more likely to be sustained. (pic) We begin to heal ourselves when we let go of the things that hurt us in the past, forgive those who have done us wrong, and learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made. - DavesWordsOfWisdom.com Shame needs three things to grow exponentially in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. - Brene Brown Dear God, I don't ask you to make my life easier, but I ask you to give me the strength to face all my trouble. Amen. Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. Be the best version of YOU! do the best you can. "With every struggle you evolve a little." - Swami Sivananda Homemade ice packs 1 part rubbing alcohol 3 parts water gets really cold, but never hardens --- FB-NDG Will we be Victims, or Victorious?!? (hint: It's up to us... we get to decide!) (pic) Victim to Victorious! --- To start your future, press this button(!) --- The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children and grandchildren. Stress, what stress? --- Scotto to mcp I like you now... I didn't back then. I like how you call and how you treat me and when you come to town you call me. feels like a parent should feel. (like rudy, right? oh yeah, he's wonderful now) persistence on both sides. (not good toward mom) (afraid of having kids 'cause of that) --- Uninstalling software - HughesNet (2x) - Adobe illustrator (3x, 5Gb) - Bing Desktop - Supreme (installed by new MindMapper s/w) - other spyware works: - PrintMaster 2011 - Adobe Photoshop 7.0 --- Secrets to making your environment 'emotionally healing' http://www.mcknights.com/secrets-to-making-your-environment-emotionally-healing/article/285734/# --- 7:40 LF 20-Mar-13 Hello! How are you all doing? Well, at our last session, the outcome was to create 100% integrity as a real possibility. And remember, we are saying integrity is the state of being whole and complete, unimpaired, sound. So, to create 100% integrity as a real possibility is to say we created the possibility of BEING whole and complete. Wow – wouldn’t that be something? Then, what we have been at work on is creating the access to that state of being whole and complete. In the seminar, we are saying the access has two aspects: 1. Honoring our word - doing what we say we’re going to do when we say we’re going to do it; doing what others expect of us; doing things the way they’re meant to be done; doing things the way we know to do them – and if we’re not going to do any of that, being in communication as soon as we know, and being responsible for the impact ( that’s a mouthful!). 2. Keeping present for ourselves and empowering context. This one is tough – are you noticing that? Much tougher than honoring our word. Here’s what I’m running into: sometimes I’m really just not in an empowering context – either I wake up that way, or something happens or someone says something I don’t like, and boom – the realm of possibility is gone. It happened today – I didn’t sleep well last night, I have a ton of work to do as we’re experiencing a flood of new business (even that – something that is “good” – occurred as a problem), and my experience was one of being overwhelmed, can’t get to it all, drowning and just generally annoyed. No possibility – gone, out the window. I was at the effect of my circumstances and not operating from an empowering context. A big question some of you might be having is: what does an empowering context mean anyhow? Think of it this way: when you are living into a sense of possibility, you are in an empowering context. When, as you look to the future you are living into (we are always, without fail, living into some future), there is not sense of possibility – that could look like the predictable, it could look like “as good as it gets”, or any variation of what the past tells you is possible in the future – you are in a disempowering context. YOU are not empowered. Why is this important? Well, the series is called Living Powerfully: a Life That Defies the Predictable. So, we are definitely out for something unpredictable – but not unpredictable like where any particular rain drop will land is unpredictable, but unpredictable like you and I are living a life not limited to or completely determined by what the past says is possible. And, the outcome of the series is to leave us being cause in the matter of our lives. That’s a big deal! Mostly, we human beings live largely at the effect of life and our circumstances. That is NOT what we mean by being cause in the matter. We’ll get there over the course of the seminar, but for now, we are establishing this foundation of integrity (the state of being whole and complete) and distinguishing our access to that state. You see, we say without integrity, no workability, and no possibility of being cause in the matter. So, we are saying that for us to have a shot at being cause in the matter of our lives and to have a life that defies the predictable, we must attend to that foundation of integrity. All this work is to develop the muscle of honoring our word and keeping present an empowering context. So, the assignment for these three weeks is simple, but very challenging: - Honor your word - Keep present for yourself an empowering context This is not for a moment to suggest you and I are going to be perfect at this – today was a great example of spending a good chunk of the day in a disempowering context. But, the opportunity, and the real work of the assignment, is to bring present an empowering context when you notice your living in a disempowering context, and when you notice that you haven’t honored your word, clean it up and restore integrity, restore that state of being whole and complete. You’ll thank yourself for doing so. I would love to hear back from you – what do you get (if anything!!) out of what I’m distinguishing here? What is opening up for you thus far? What are you struggling with (and make no mistake, nothing wrong with struggling with this work – it is worth the struggle)? Curt Hill |LandmarkEducation | Landmark Seminar Leader | T: 510.854.6152 | e-mail: chill528@gmail.com --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Joshua Freedman • Truyen, I would say EQ is the "missing link" that will unlock our capability. EQ & IQ are not opposites, they work together, but in our recent history, IQ has had all the attention. Most of our education is about cognitive skills... so we have an EQ deficit. Further, in our hiring, we've been IQ focused. I work with a lot of highly technical companies. Almost everyone in the room has an IQ of over 120... so we have smart, very smart, and genius IQs in the room... but many have very low EQ. So in that situation, IQ is not a big factor... but EQ is. Life-in-general is different. If you have someone with an IQ of 70, it will be hard for him to be highly successful even with a high EQ.... and with an EQ of 70, nearly impossible to be very successful IN LIFE, even with quantitative genius (maybe successful in one part of life, such as laboratory). Summary: Both are valuable. EQ is under-developed so it's the biggest opportunity area. - 7:49 Matt Perelstein • "Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need it, but it doesn't make you a star. Emotional Intelligence can." - Warren Bennis, in 'On Becoming a Leader' "80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performance are in the domain of EQ." - Daniel Goleman in 'Working with Emotional Intelligence' "EQ is more than twice as predictive of business performance than purely cognitive intelligence." - Gerald Mount in 'The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Developing International Business Capacity', 2006 “Without EQ, we have very smart people making very dumb decisions.” --- Ray Mathis • Matt Perelstein posted a great paradigm to explain this process. Right now, many people may be UNCONSCIOUSLY INCOMPETENT (please don't take offense at that), in the sense that they make choices governed by their past that cause them to feel needlessly "hurt", but don't realize they even have choices, because they make them so automatically because of their old "ruts". Once you realize you have CHOICES, you start to realize how you've been making those choices in ways that have caused needless "hurt" and put you at the mercy of others too often. You become CONSCIOUSLY INCOMPETENT. Then you start consciously making those choices in new ways, like the statements above, and you start to become CONSCIOUSLY COMPETENT. You don't feel "hurt", or at least not as much as before. With practice and rehearsal, these new ways of making your cognitive choices become rutted, and automatic, and you become UNCONSCIOUSLY COMPETENT. It's like someone being taught karate moves. With practice, they become automatic responses to attacks from others, and defend us. That's why I like to call this process MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL KARATE. The good news is that you can get a blackbelt in this kind of karate a lot easier and faster than you can in the real deal. --- 8:08 "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... If you hurt someone and they let you know about it and your response was, "Hurt is based on perspectrive" and 'you need to figure out why your feeling hurt'[. In other words, taking no responsibility for hurting the individual either intentionally or not. How would you respond to this?? Matt Perelstein • Hi Ray and Mary... you've got a great discussion going here! Here is the basic paradign that Ray referred to: The 4 Steps to Learning (anything) 1. Unconsciously Incompetent -- we don't know that we don't know 2. Consciously Incompetent -- we find out that we don't know 3. Consciously Competent -- we find ways to know, to do it different, to change, to improve 4. Unconsciously Competent -- our new way becomes a productive habit that we don't have to think about any more. ... and yes, "Hurt is based on perspective"... in fact, most ALL our feelings are based on perspective (in my opinion). We wouldn't feel sad if we didn't first care... we wouldn't feel afraid, if we didn't first believe we were threatened in some way... and we wouldn't feel angry, if we didn't first think that something wasn't going our way. But, that does not warrant a cold, aloof, "hey, if you got hurt, that's your problem" kinda attitude. Clinically, "you need to figure out why your feelings got hurt" is true, but socially, it is NOT usually helpful in building close and/or cooperative relationships. I like your concept of "we all have choices"! In fact, one of the biggest benefits we find in new students of EQ is they are so pleasantly surprised by how MANY different choices they have, emotionally! EQRocks! :) --- Adversity reveals character. - ESPN soccer announcer make yourself unique and important. --- It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. - Anthony Robbins --- No Excuses motivational video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzpWT66Km8E --- 3.24 02:ish pkp home from Sac up, hang with her, unpack car, do dishes, open wine chat for a bit 03:ish getting ready to do HerbanLegend KDE, on PKP's laptop in the house but needed updated Access file so here (in office) for a bit Optimism On Purpose video http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/blog/2013/03/18/optimism-on-purpose/ --- Is Happiness the Same as Morale? http://thetrustambassador.com/2013/03/23/is-happiness-the-same-as-morale/ Are morale and happiness really the same thing? We say that people at work have high morale when they are happy, but does one always follow the other? I can imagine that they are linked in some way, usually, but I suspect it is possible to have high morale even if you do not particularly like your job. Think about some job or activity that you have had in the past that you really did not enjoy very much. You were not cheerful while on the job, but you might have had high morale because it was getting you somewhere. A good example might be working toward a college degree. I recognize that, for most people, reading books, writing papers, and taking exams are not fun activities. I remember being very unhappy as a student many times, as the stress would get to me. Yet, while not enjoying the work at all, I still had very high morale because I knew the education would pay off in the end, which it did. Let’s find an example of the reverse situation: Happy but with low morale. There are numerous ways this can happen. You might be in a situation where you are working for a leader you do not respect and who tries to bribe people into being engaged in the work by letting them get away with things and giving away perks beyond a reasonable level. This leader has one thing in mind, make people at work happy. Well, he can accomplish this and make me happy about all the goodies he is providing and that he lets me go home early whenever I want. It is not hard to imagine my morale being rather low after a while. Reason: I am not challenged and am given things that I do not deserve. Another example might be when working on a specific project that I know is important. I am working in a not-for-profit organization. Here I am happy because my labor is going for a good cause. The result of my work is helping many needy families. I have to tolerate the fact that my boss is a hopeless micromanager who needs to know the details of everything I do and wants me to do everything how he would do it. I can be happy with the contribution I am making to society, but my morale is low because of the working conditions I must endure for the privilege of making that contribution. Most of the time we see a linking of happiness and morale. Workers who are satisfied usually also exhibit high motivation, but it does not always have to be so. In fact, Frederick Herzberg taught us over 60 years ago, with his Two Factor Theory, that the controlling factors for satisfaction are different from those that generally cause motivation. He called the things that keep people from becoming unhappy “hygiene factors.” These would be things like pay, bonuses, nice offices, clean restrooms, comfortable furniture, and parking close to the building. If the hygiene factors are missing, then people are going to become dissatisfied, but piling on more hygiene factors is not the way to create higher motivation or morale. The “motivating factors” of responsibility, accountability, autonomy, flexibility, caring, and other less tangible factors have more power to create morale and motivation. We see that there is a general trend that happy workers have high morale, and I grant that is usually the case. The two concepts are not the same, and neither are they hard-wired together. To have the most productive workers, not only do they need to be reasonably happy, but they must simultaneously have high morale. Leaders need to test for both conditions. - Marshall K. commented on How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? Within a framework of what is useful (controlled emotion) with color life is beautiful, even in a professional setting. With etiquette in place, emotion acknowledged; even if not agreed or validated (when they do not fit in with the aims of any organisation - if it is understood - ) can enhance the quality of life in the workplace. It is a two edged sword however. Problems arise when general understanding and social etiquette is not conformed to. Sharing emotion and thoughts needs in my opinion to be positive or it becomes corrosive. Problems here are varying & individual: 1. Opinion 2. Understanding 3. Control 4. Positivity 5. Team approach 6. Attitude 7. Personality 8. Humor I think getting the "job done" and privately experiencing, and choosing/judging people of similar outlook to share with is generally the norm. --- PP = 3345 (nice!) -67.95 to Sliloh for 2GetHelpWorkshop.com --- 03:33 ~mcp.txt 3.33Mb (and 94,828x lines long) --- 03:38 FB-EP Meet Naomi... another happy customer! to house to do Herban Legend KDE... --- 04:43 2 HL books entered, 3 to go 5,916x Sales records code was written, by me, in 2007, to fill down the dates very cool that the code was by me, from me, for me(!) and Paula, but still... 05:14 watching Rugby, too. sent video to Tad yesterday USA won a game, in the last second, and they had to win by 14 to get into the Cup round and the guy had missed 2 extra point kicks that game and had to make the longest, worst angle kick at fulltime. very exciting but they're captain, Matt Hawkins, got red-carded during the game they interviewed him, and he's one of the most upstanding members of the team, and I swear he looked like he was gonna cry. sad. stopped to watch England vs. South Africa... good one. and now Kenya vs. France.... what else do these 2 countries have to do with each other? 05:17 back to it. wanna get done before p wakes up, and get her laptop back, untouched, as I think it was bothering her that I was gonna be working on her laptop. i think. she just got rude, shutdown and went to bed (about 02:15) oh, and she did get her mom to sign the addendum that allowed Carol on the trust. not paula... which was interesting, but fine... Carol and Paula are very tight. I think sh may have broke... but I broke her. they may or may not be uneducated, intellectually and physically they can still be educated emotionally we're not saying that EQ is the only way to go... it's not what we're saying is that EQ is CRITICAL, and we Don't know squat about it... so we need to FOCUS on EQ for awhile, until we can properly incorporate it into our daily lives. then, we can chill a bit about it. 06:51 done with KDE (for the books paula has) Jan. 2012 - Sept. 19, 2012 6,998x now 06:58 shut down, a bit of rugby, then pause for a few... --- How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? There was a time when I used to feel shame about my feelings of anger and anxiety, and anxiety and fear about love. After receiving training in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and practicing it for over 6 years in understanding my own feelings, I am now able to think of feelings as phenomena - events - inside of me, coincident with other events happening inside and outside of me. I have been able to see "patterns" of co-incidences and am able to influence how these co-incidences are going to unfold in any situation. Thus, I am able to think whether or not it wiould be sensible for me to choose one feeling over another in framing my reactions. Regarding my feelings about other people's feelings, in the culture to which I belong, my observations are that an individual simply reacts to his feelings irrespective of how others might feel about his reactions, though later he might regret about his reactions but never about his feelings for the simple reason that he does not really know about his feelings. In my side of the planet, people do not try to alter the links between feelings and behavior - it seems that these links have become like cultural habits in the interpersonal context. At an individual level whenever I talk about feelings with another person (within my cultural milieu) in interpersonal context, I feel like a philosopher who is trying hard to make sense and whoose philosophy is not likely to be understood or taken seriously. Thoughts, feelings and behavior seem to be inseperable, but a fair degree of self-awareness, self-observation and impulse control can bring about the seperation and enable intervention of "free will". By Ambuj Jain - If someone is hurt by my action or reaction and he lets me know, I would think he is being assertive and I would believe that he trusts me with his feelings and believes that I am mature enough to understand how they affect relationships. I believe that Emotional self-expression is one of the traits/skills of an emotionally intelligent person. Thus, thoguht what Ray says is definitely true for and applies to every individual and I will add to Matt's idea and say that people who wish to connect with each other and to work together for common goals requiring mutual trust would do good to let each other know about how they felt about actions or reactions of the other. This I think is the crux of mutual understanding and trust building. Hence, if someone close to me told me that some behavior of mine hurt him, I would not get into his perspectives, I would thank - if not apologiise - him for letting me know and would go on to explain the intention behind my behavior. It's an opportunity for us to strengthen our relationship. By Ambuj Jain - Ambuj....your statement, "...I would believe that he trusts me with his feelings and believes that I am mature enough to understand how they affect relationships. I believe that Emotional self-expression is one of the traits/skills of an emotionally intelligent person." is exactly one of the points I was attempting to raise with both individual's. The scenario: Subject 1 got hurt by another's words/actions Subject 1 thoroughly explained why they felt that way Subject 2 acted out of defensiveness and completely dismissed Subject 1's feeling, hence, making the above statement. Subject 1...now believes they can no longer trust Subject 2 with their feelings and now the relationship has become damaged. Devils Advocate (me) has discussed much of what we've been talking about with both subjects. And, yes, they are/were a 'close' relationship that I believe, in time, can be mended. As it was told to me concerning this particular relationship, "We tend to hold our family members to higher standards when it comes to our feelings." This is, in essence, true if you want to continue to have said relationship and do all you can to repair any damage....real or perceived. By Mary Romero - How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? Feelings and an awareness of feelings (both our own and others) is a part of growing and growing up emotionally, as an individual. That is something that differentiates us from children who react to a feeling without understanding the reason nor the consequence. There will be phases in our lives, time and again, when we will deny and fight feelings as they seem improper, immoral and even wrong, in all possible ways. But that is wrong! What helps resolve the situation (that may arise due to feelings) is to accept things as they are and just flow with the flow! The moment we deny or the other extreme would be that we start taking command and try to resolve things/situations arising on the foundation of feelings, we go out of balance; the biggest mistake is to keep oneself in the center. No, the world cannot and will not rotate around me as per my will and requirements. What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? Feelings are the best barometer of letting me know that I am alive! People must try avoiding any swift and harsh judgements on their feelings (personal or at work) Of course one must introspect from where and why the feelings are arising what is the best I can do with them (for all parties involved) For instance: If one is unhappy with a certain task at work and it keeps them slow and unmotivated, they must bring it up within their team and eventually with the boss. Every individual is good at some task. If one does not experience the feeling of work satisfaction then it becomes a torture to stay at the same task. It becomes the worst nightmare, eventually! Everything is interconnected- if I do not function well, as a unit, how can we expect wonders at the collective level? By Kalika Eriksson --- Matt, thank so much for explaining the paradigm Ray mentioned. While I believe, in general, all of that is true, how about the flip side to, "...most ALL our feelings are based on perspective (in my opinion). We wouldn't feel sad if we didn't first care... we wouldn't feel afraid, if we didn't first believe we were threatened in some way... " As children, we do not 'know' to feel a certain way until something first happens to us to bring that feeling to the surface. Most children (I suspect because I am not one of them) have always felt secure, safe, nurtured, and loved in their home. They do not know to be afraid when someone comes at them with an angry tone or 'out of the blue'. The only way for them to 'acquire' this feeling, is to have the initial interaction with something that produces that fear. An abused child does not know to be afraid until the first abuse. Thereafter, the child learns to fear. Is this based on perspective? Having been there, I can say that the fear was initially based on feeling pain! It would be the same with joy, happiness, doubt, disappointment, etc. There has to be an initial action to produce said emotion. Let's take the movie theatre shooting for instance. Not one of those person's felt 'fear' when deciding to go see a movie. Yet, when the shooting begins, EVERYONE is feeling the fear.....is this based on perspective? Perhaps because people have been TAUGHT to fear those who want to hurt them. Yet, there were probably some who were in disbelief and didn't feel the fear until it was too late? Being human beings with innate feelings, we instinctly feel some or most of them at one point. I am just saying that there are some situations that will produce a feeling whether or not we 'learned' it early on. I very much appreciate everyone's input to this discussion. You have all given me points to ponder! By Mary Romero - Keri H. commented on "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Communication and how it is perceived is an area of discussion I cover during my workshops. I try to simplify it's importance through role play. Two Learners are asked to read the same script to a third learner, one learner is instructed to do this with feelings of animosity, whilst the second learner is asked to show empathy. This simple exercise has (in my experience) great impact on how our own personal feelings alter our perception of what is being communicated to us. I believe that in general what we say or do is not meant to intentionally hurt others (although I appreciate this is not always the case), and we can never know another persons' perception until we are told. If someone perceived my actions/words as hurtful, I would hope that I would be allowed to explain that anything I say or do is never meant to intentionally hurt them and then give my explanation. In all honesty, I am too selfish to spend my time on being hurtful towards others. Great topic Mary. --- 10:47 Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Having said all that, I have to agree with Josh to say that I/we are not saying that EQ is actually 'more important' than IQ... what we're saying is that EQ is CRITICAL, and we are NOT formally trained in these skills, so we need to FOCUS on EQ for awhile, until we can properly incorporate it into our daily lives. It's about balance... IQ + EQ. Left-brain + right-brain. Head + Heart (+ Hand)... that makes it all work. Oh, one more reason to focus on EQ... our IQ is pretty much set at birth... there isn't all that much we can do to improve our IQ. However, we can DRAMATICALLY improve our EQ scores... quickly, semi-painlessly, very inexpensively, and often permanently, If we want to focus on areas we can control/effect/affect, let's learn about (and spread the good word about) EQ. EQRocks! --- 11:02 FB-EP Thanks for your help, Gwen?! So, what did you guys decide? Tianna?, please place your order today, as the sale actually ended yesterday, but since it was IN YOUR HONOR in the first place, I'll continue it for you! :) Oh, and like Gwen said... if anyone wants pics of their little friends with their Eucs posted on our website, either send pics or vids to Gwen or post them here and she'll get 'em included! --- PP = 3386 -35 for flotation tank Groupon offer in SF --- FB-EP Sara Frances Hello - I'm about to order some things from your half price sale which is AWESOME - my gliders love the chewsticks, but looked at the shipping prices and had a couple questions/suggestions as I actually work for the post office lol. I was looking at the branches and its says the shipping is $20 for orders over 4 lbs. I'm not sure if you are aware but the USPS has Game Board sized flat rate boxes. Dimensions are Inside Dimensions: 23 11/16" x 11 3/4" x 3" so you could fit branches just under 2' in them and they're only $15.30 when you print the labels online. It also mentioned that the USPS doesn't do tracking but that was changed in January - all priority and standard post packages include that at no charge. Anyways, back to shopping Have a good weekend! Hi Sara, thanks for the info. To reply: a) Yes, the game board boxes are the BEST... I can get a TON in them (20lbs once!)... but if people want 2 or 3' branches, I have to use the mailing tubes and the postage for 4-5lbs is way higher... and b) YES, it's wonderful that the USPS now includes tracking #'s on Priority Mail! I posted that good news here just a week or so ago, but we'll have to change that on the website, too... (good point). I am super-happy with the USPS's service, your people, your choice of boxes and I LOVE that we're supporting the US Govt! After sending sooo many orders thru the system, we've had some problems over the years... but so far, almost NONE of the problems were USPS's fault. Let me know if you need something adjusted in your order. Thanks again! --- Lost Robin H and Glen C, both 5lb subs. (Euc testimonial) Good Day. Due to Budget issues i am asking your company to please stop my automatic monthly order of branch and leaves. Your company has been great. I will Still order from your web site as needed. Again Stop my order affected today 03/24/13. Please respond to this email when my order has been stopped. Thanks for the great service. Robin Haldeman - darn, so sorry to see you go, Robin... I hope I provided what you wanted. However, I cannot stop your monthly orders... you must log into your PayPal account and stop the orders yourself. Let me know if you have any problem with that, but I have no control over it... only you do. So THANKS for being such a good customer for a year and a half!! Take care and I wish you the best. - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 11:33 FB-EP Leigh Bantly Billingsley HI, Kevin! Just shared your photo of Naomi on my Facebook page. Figured I'd try to give you a "plug". The parrot community is quite active on Facebook. There must be a way to leverage that -- particularly groups like the Florida Parrot Rescue which is very active with their posts (and is a good cause.) Locally here in CA we have Mickaboo, and they are a wonderful organization, however they aren't very active on FB. 2 hours agoLeigh Bantly Billingsley Sorry, Matt -- just called you Keven. Not sure where I pulled that name from. Sorry... - No worries, Leigh -- you can call me anything you want, as long as you're promoting Eucs! :) Yes, I'm finding too that bird folks are super-social and take VERY good care of their feathered friends. Still MOST of our orders are for sugar gliders, but that's changing slowly as the bird community finds how much Eucs are liked, and safe, and wonderful! THANKS so much for your support -- I will send you some beautiful branches! --- Sara Frances OK then lets do the 5 lbs of branches, a starter pack(for me) and I want to send a starter pack to a friend - a combination of branch sizes will be perfect - I have 25 gliders in about 10 dif. cages. Two of the cages are major chewers with 5 gliders each which is why I'd love a few thicker branches for them - they devour those chew sticks in no time, but absolutely LOVE them! --- doing order labels and corresponding with FB folks re: sale and questions jimmy paul stopped by in his Gator smelled bad, but nice enuf, and we chatted 15x or so. damn, I hope Bri's coming today. 35x? --- , orders (with Josh Lobue) from Erin on 1B, 4-2'x1/2" check tracking, not rec'd ,Kevin Hartman 11401 Romeo Place Fortville, IN 46040 ,Sylvia Patrick 1C?, x ,Jennifer Selvig 6921 Egan Drive Savage, MN 55378 S MA ,nancy glazer 2C, not 1C ,Irene Dizes 701 Beckley Rd Berlin, CT 06037-2515 1L (both), not 1/2L pretty ones for dying ,Carla Covert 1C, 3'+L,* ,Jess M CS = 1/2B ,Nancy Glazer 1C, 3' * ?Leigh Billingsley address? 16815 Blackie Road Prunedale, CA 93907 1B, 1-3' Dole Fresh Vegetables 2959 Salinas Highway Monterey, CA 93940 1B, 8-1' --- PP = 3456 (new record?!?) -11.95 refund - I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com - I received your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! Your order should go out tomorrow (but I got swamped with orders, so I'll try). Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 2:45-4 pickup Bri give notebooks to Sean (yikes) Safeway dog food, salad stuff, etc. Paula's making 2 meatloafs for us 5 Euc hunting with Bri pics here for 3 MORE orders 40x(!) 9 Tracy comes to get Bri did all Starters and 1-2lb-ers now for the big ones! (6-5's, plus 2-2' to Canada (how?)!) 9 to bed --- 3.25 00:45 up shower espn 01:43 here to shut 'er down “Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.” - Doug Firebaugh Just as new beginnings are important, so is honoring the experience of closure. Life is a combination of magic and pasta! - Federico Fellini --- An Introduction to Social and Emotional Learning (video) http://www.edutopia.org/social-emotional-learning-introduction-video (04:11) -------------- mcp ----------- Educating the Heart is as important as educating the mind. - Linda Lantieri, "Resolving Conflict Creatively, SEL Program" "I" Messages I feel ___ when you ___ because __ SEL - Identify and Manage Emotions - Communicate Emotions Effectively - Resolve Conflict non-violently 4th graders in Brooklyn become Peace Helpers to help younger kids solve conflicts Kids who are better able to manage their emotions can pay attention better can take in information better remember better actually helps you learn better ------ mcp ----- EQ increases IQ! Dan Goleman SEL Benefits - Improved academic performance (11%!) and attitudes toward school - A reduction in violence, bullying and other negative behaviours - An improved school environment for children, and adults "We're just seeing great behaviours!" "Our teachers are much happier... they like their kids, again." - Principal, Anchorage Alaska School District "What's the cool-headed response to that situation?" Emotional intelligence must be developed in children before any other learning can effectively take place. - D-R ------------ mcp -------------- Selling Social and Emotional Learning: An Interview with Daniel Goleman https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=j30KPuYiKII The programs that worked all shared a common set of ingredients... they help kids - Become more self-aware - Manage their distressing feelings - Become more empathic - Control impulses - Make sound social decisions... like how to say No to drugs and still keep my friends Meta study of over 200 independent analyses, that looks at kids who have these programs and kids who don't -- comparable kids -- and the kids who get the SEL training Pro-social behaviours go up 9-10%, like: - Attendance - Behaving well in class - Liking school Anti-social behaviours down by the same margin: - Drug use - Violence - Bullying ------- mcp ------ ... and the kicker is that Academic Achievement goes up 11 percentile points! it works best for kids who need it the most We must get over our fixation on Academic Achievement tests as the end-all of education, because we're educating the whole child. When you talk to companies, like I do, they don't just want kids with technical skills, they want kids with technical skills who know how to get along, who can cooperate and be good team members, who relate well to customers, who manage their emotions well, who stay motivated, who take initiative -- those are social-emotional skills. So, we need to get over the mindset that sees this as something extra, something unnecessary. The best way to shape the brain, we are finding, is thru social-emotional learning, because it targets the very circuitry that's going to be your foundation for life, for better or worse, on how well you can do those things. This is not just touchy-feely, this is very hard science now. I think everyone should care about this, not just parents. It's not just I want this for my kid, it's I want this for my community because I want to be safe walking down the streets, I want my friends and neighbors to be safe. One of the biggest effects of this is that it heads off criminal careers... it helps kids who otherwise might go down the wrong alley, be able to manage their impulses, be able to manage their anger, tune in to other people and get along better. It makes the world a better place for all of us. (paid for by the George Lucas Educational Foundation) --- Daniel Goleman Explains Emotional Intelligence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeJ3FF1yFyc "Working with Emotional Intelligence" How to add EQ to the workplace --- Encouragement makes your children want to improve, but insults only make them want to give up..... --- 02:15 talked to PR... they're in Windsor still driving! should be home about 0500, then she has to work at 0830... yikes! --- Radio! Emotional Physical Therapy w/ Dr. Danielle Mincey-White http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/03/25/emotional-intelligence#.UU-chs6Sq1U.gmail noon PST today, Monday, 3/25 - FB-NDG (this seems kinda trivial compared to Patrick and Terri's concerns, but...) I'll be on the radio again today at noon. I told Dr. White that I wanted our 'call to action' to be that people make a pledge, to themselves, that they are 100% responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and especially, their behaviours... 'cause nothing works without Emotional Responsibility... do you agree? Listen in, if you can! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/03/25/emotional-intelligence#.UU-chs6Sq1U.gmail - 02:36 FB-MCP I'm on the radio again today at noon... listen/call in, if you can! (... or a link to the recorded show will be posted after). Wish me luck (and clarity)! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/03/25/emotional-intelligence#.UU-chs6Sq1U.gmail --- 02:41 FB-EQEducators Network https://www.facebook.com/groups/6sEQed/ Here's a VERY well done video explaining SEL/EQ for kiddos! http://www.edutopia.org/social-emotional-learning-introduction-video (04:11) --- 02:48 Karen, LBL Hi again, Karen... any feedback here? thx. - Matt -- shutting down (links) What Our Memories Tell Us About Ourselves http://ideas.time.com/2013/03/20/what-our-memories-tell-us-about-ourselves/ Remembering Events that Never Happened Nonbelieved memories can be as compelling as genuine ones http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-child-in-time/201102/remembering-events-never-happened The Child in Time On memory, childhood, and the stories we tell ourselves. --- Emotional Intelligence Is the Missing Piece Social and emotional learning can help students successfully resolve conflict, communicate clearly, solve problems, and much more. http://www.edutopia.org/social-emotional-intelligence-learning-education --- Autistic girl 'comes out' thru typing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZVV4Ciccg --- Dr. Boyatzis webinar, 6 sec https://connectpro16008449.adobeconnect.com/_a1023589200/p4f7e1x5ogp/?launcher=false&fcsContent=true&pbMode=normal (got to minute 24) >> keep going... --- orders... 04:40 printing instructions but then, I can't help it, but these videos are major! --- 04:51 SEL Benefits - Improved academic performance (11%!) and attitudes toward school - A reduction in violence, bullying and other negative behaviours - An improved school environment for children, and adults According to a massive study of 200 schools/districts that have SEL training: Pro-social behaviours go up 9-10%: - Attendance - Behaving well in class - Liking school Anti-social behaviours down by the same margin: - Drug use - Violence - Bullying "We must get over our fixation on Academic Achievement tests as the end-all of education, because we're educating the whole child." - Daniel Goleman? "Educating the Heart is as important as educating the mind."- Linda Lantieri, 'Resolving Conflicts Creatively' SEL Program --- Think Healthy Act Healthy Be Healthy NLP rocks! You/we can change ANY picture, sound, smell, taste, and touch, just by IMAGING it different... it's life-changing work, super-simple, and amazingly effective. I'm just learning about EFT, and I've heard some amazing stories of their successes! It possibly could be an alternative to heal emotional pain without having to "feel" all the yucky feelings that people don't wanna (and often WILL NOT) feel. --- The bud of a rose is just as beautiful as the full bloom. Appreciate what you have at the moment. --- How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? Matt, as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, I have three goals for my clients (and myself!). The first is to feel the feeling, the second is to be OK about feeling the feeling, and the third is to be able to express the feeling in an appropriate way. It's not allowing ourselves to feel whatever we're feeling that, in my training anyway, causes distance and distress both within and between us. By Elly Taylor - Acceptance can be done at the speed of thought... but without it... everything stops/crashes/doesn't go well. - 05:14 Right on, Elly! We teach the same, but in a different order, 'cause if they're not OK with their feelings, they ain't happenin' :) 1. Awareness - get a clue about what's going on inside our hearts and minds 2. Acceptance - be OK with it all (like you said), a critical step, and what prompted me to start this thread 3. Action - express our feelings (or not) in productive, effective, sane, loving, powerful, intelligent, unique, engaging, releasing, personal ways! Yes? --- Yael I'm entry #17 --- 07:17 Printing Euc Instructions 20x (to see if color ink cartridge will hold) thot about using scrap paper, but what I got from Youde at IMS is too heavy medical stats maybe look for something lighter 20x more ok, 20 more, and that's it folding 20x --- one of my most powerful skills in life is being able to type like a maniac! I appreciate that, very much! thanks, God. --- 05:38 An apology -- I'm sorry guys, but I did NOT get some of the bigger orders out today, like I hoped/said. I only placed that sale ad here on FB, but wow... you guys are awesome! Soooo, my granddaughter and I filled all the smaller orders (1/2-3lbs)... and my car is stuffed full, heading to the US Post Office in a bit... but I didn't get to the 5-lb orders... sorry! I work 200mi from home, and I gotta go, so your orders won't go out 'til Friday, when I get back... so sorry. Hang in there... your beautiful Eucs will be worth it! - Matt --- ------ mcp ------------ Daniel Goleman Explains Emotional Intelligence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeJ3FF1yFyc&feature=fvwp&NR=1 --- 4 min. nap! feels great. 07:38 We do gotta feel it to heal it! EFT or let 'er rip... --- 07:42 go... to Philo... ya know? go --- 11:41 SR noon radio --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Brainstorm a list of all the things that go wrong in the lives of individuals, families, relationships, schools. businesses, and society as a whole, that keep kids from being as ready, willing and able to learn as they could be, that keep people from having the kind of lives they really want, and functioning at levels they would like to or are capable of, and you find three things. 1) Some of those things are literally defined by people generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion, i.e. anger problems, anxiety disorders and phobias, depression, low self-esteem and too much stress 2) Others are caused by generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion, i.e. arguing, abuse, violence, divorce 3) Others are what people do to get relief from a dysfunctional amount of emotion, i.e. smoke, drink, use drugs, have sex, overeat, starve themselves, shut down in school, drop out, suicide 4) Problems that arise because people of the above, i.e. addiction, overdoses, accidents, illness, unnecessary suffering, premature death But it all can often be traced back to people generating more emotion than is necessary or helpful, more than they want to have, more than they know what to do with, and a type and amount that works against them instead of for them. That's why emotional management is the most important of all life skills There are a lot of ways to temporarily feel better. Some are healthy, others are not. But getting better means permanently reducing the frequency, intensity and duration of emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, shame,guilt, loneliness, etc. The only way to GET better is to change the way we think. I realize that emotional management is just one aspect of what many consider emotional intelligence. But it's a biggie, and something we don't do much of anything about while we have kids in school, despite the important role a lack of it plays in so much that goes wrong in and outside classrooms, now and later in peoples live. We allow way too many young people to enter adulthood, parenthood and professions, including teaching, deficient in truly effective emotional management. And we pay for it in many important ways.. By Ray Mathis - How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? I always picture one of those old fashioned scales in the doctor's office (the ones it's easy to hate standing on). There's this weight that you slide either left or right to get a balance. On one end of the scale is the belief that "Anything we think, feel, say or do is understandable given our unique life histories, and what is happening at the time". On the other end is "It's my choice how I look at things, how I feel, and what I say and do". Then, depending on the situation, I either go with, or encourage someone else to go with, either the first of second belief. And sometimes it makes sense to slide back and forth quickly. For example, when my mom died, and my dad is standing at the coffin, I'm not going to say "Dad, it's your choice how you want to look at things, and how you want to feel". At that moment, I'm going to encourage him to see anything he thinks or feels as understandable given their life history together, and what is happening at the moment. But if my brother calls me months later and says "I'm worried about dad. He's drinking and smoking again and I'm afraid we're going to lose him too", then I'm going to press him some and try to help him see that he has choices to make, and in terms of a great paradigm Matt offered recently, try to get him to move from being "unconsciously incompetent" to at least "consciously competent", to realize the potential emotional and even physical dangers in continuing to choose to look at things the way he is, and make himself feel the way he has been because of it, and do what he has been because of all that. But in the end, if he chooses to continue to look at things the same way, I also believe that will be understandable. "Before you accuse, criticize or abuse, walk a mile in my shoes" as Joe South used to sing. And if we do lose him, then I'll take the same approach with myself and my brother, sliding that weight from one way of looking at things to the other, depending on what seems to be called for at the moment. There's a science and an art to it, and even with a lot of practice, you don't always end up with a great outcome. And that's understandable as well if we don't get it perfect. By Ray Mathis --- Emotional Intelligence Network "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Mary, The only person any of us control is us, what WE think, feel, say and do. We never can control what others think, feel, say or do. Others can think, feel, say and do whatever they want, and usually do. The more we try to exercise any kind of control over what they think, feel, say or do, regardless of how important we might perceive it to be to try to do so, the more out of control our lives often start to begin to feel. Sounds like you there, or getting there. Been there, done that myself. I've tried to follow the specifics, but I'm not sure if I've got it all nailed, so forgive me if this comes across the wrong way, but somewhere along the way I think those of us who try to help others have to ask ourselves, and maybe the others involved, "Whose problem is this?" And, ask ourselves and them the following questions: 1) What do you really want? How do you want to feel? What do you want the relationship you have with those involved to be like? 2) How's it working for you or them to think, feel, say and do what you and they are right now? Is it allowing you and them to get what you/they want, feel the way you/they want to feel, have the kind of relationship everyone involved wants with the others? 3) And if you and they keep thinking, feeling, saying and doing what you/they are now, are you/they likely to ever get what you/they want, and feel the way you/they want to feel? Just from what I know of the situations, it sounds like the answer to #2 is what it usually is, "Not very well".And as long as they keep clinging to their current ways of looking at things, the prognosis isn't much better. "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" Einstein. Sure sounds like the folks involved (not you) have some "mistaken" goals, in that what they arguing for right now just makes what they might have had before, or might really want harder to achieve in the long run. Not sure exactly which one it is, maybe power or revenge to some extent. Maybe even attention to some extent. I remember once hearing "If you can't save the alcoholic (which you really can't anyways), at least save yourself". Sounds like there might be something in that for you in this situation. It'd be nice if we could get all the people around us to get along and treat each other better, and nothing wrong with giving it a shot at trying to help them make it happen. But at some point, people are on their own. Again, I'm basing all this on what I understand to be the situation. By Ray Mathis --- The Emotional Intelligence Network "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... I believe that people can/do control their emotions/feelings, people can feel lots of ways about people and/or something but if someone were to tell me that they feel hurt because of something I've said or done then I'd want to know (because I care and would want to know and would be open to growing/learning more about myself/them and our relationship); but I don't point out to others that they have hurt my feelings because I'm more of a "do-er" than "thinker" and actually focus less on "feelings" than actions because it's my thought that I can control "my feelings" - or that my feelings need to be associated with or permit for the "action"/"behavior". By Ellen Bjorge Boutelle --- Karen, You're basically talking about having an internal locus of control, where you recognize that regardless of what happens around you, you have a choice how you want to look at things (and a whole bunch of other cognitive choices) and therefore how you want to feel. That realization is very empowering and allows you to disengage when you want to. And that is a nice feeling, a feeling of being in control. Which is why it's so important to always remind ourselves that we only control what WE think, feel, say and do, and focus on and work with that. That's a big enough job for most of us anyways without trying to tinker with what others think, feel, say and do. In the end, everyone is on their own in some important ways anyways. And I don't mean that in any cold-hearted way. By Ray Mathis ------ mcp ---------- - we can only control what WE think, feel, say and do - internal locus of control - regardless of what happens around you, you have a choice how you want to look at things (and a whole bunch of other cognitive choices) and therefore how you want to feel. - we only control what WE think, feel, say and do, and focus on and work with that. That's a big enough job for most of us anyways without trying to tinker with what others think, feel, say and do. - Ray Mathis --- Harvey Chess Contact Info Mobile Phones (707) 272-7121 Other Phones (707) 937-2088 Home Address PO Box 6 95456 Screen Name harveyb.chess(Skype) Website http://www.firsttheorg.com http://www.zigomandelbaum.com Email ftfsmartgrants@gmail.com Facebook http://facebook.com/harveybchess Sandra Jean Baldocchi --- 2:36 pkp Hey, does the grant at PS require that you guys have a legal advocate? How about you stop being an employee and contract your legal advocacy services to them on a per-hour or per-case basis... and let the amazing Rachel coordinate volunteers (since she's sooo good at it!). Sandra Jean Baldocchi (707) 937-2088 Home Go get 'em! I DO support you in your happiness/sanity/health! - me --- gave (almost all) notebooks to Sean yesterday. We'll see what happens! --- got a BUNCH more orders, even after the sale ended! - I received your order for fresh Euc branches -- thanks! The 1/2 price sale was only thru Saturday, but I will honor the sale price on your order... however, I am now outta town working (in San Francisco), so your order should go out on Friday, when I return home. Please don't pass on the link to the 1/2 price Eucs to anyone else, ok? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com - No problem, Megan... I have changed your subscription preference. Let me know if you ever have any additional requests. Thanks. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Subscription cancellation From: Megan Gilliard Date: Mon, March 25, 2013 7:17 am To: Eucs@2gethelp.com I have a current subscription for dried euc but would like to cancel it and get a subscription for the combo pack of fresh leaves and chew sticks. Thank you! - Megan Gilliard --- PP = 3593 (!new record, me thinks!) -330 USPS... and that's AFTER going to the USPS with 35+ orders this morning!! --- Radio Show - Emotional Physical Therapy - Dr. Danielle Mincey-White, 3.25.2013 http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/03/25/emotional-intelligence#.UU-chs6Sq1U.gmail (30:06) respond, not react stress = unresolved emotions stuffed inward x josh asked her to do a webinar during eweek ouch. --- I wish I was on vacation... I work in San Francisco, 200 miles from home... so I can only fill Euc orders on the weekends. It's ok, really. thanks again. - Matt --- >> 500 Miles! The Proclaimers I will be the man who walks 500 miles just to be the one who walked 500 miles for you! --- --- 6:57 out --- Martin Forbes parkinson's 5 hour commute Brick & Bottle Mac and Cheese and Boont Yum! very nice time(!) --- 9:57 The Emotional Intelligence Network "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... I believe that people can/do control their emotions/feelings, people can feel lots of ways about people and/or something but if someone were to tell me that they feel hurt because of something I've said or done then I'd want to know (because I care and would want to know and would be open to growing/learning more about myself/them and our relationship); but I don't point out to others that they have hurt my feelings because I'm more of a "do-er" than "thinker" and actually focus less on "feelings" than actions because it's my thought that I can control "my feelings" - or that my feelings need to be associated with or permit for the "action"/"behavior". By Ellen Bjorge Boutelle - Nancy Dreyfus commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. ------- mcp ------ "Hi, Fellow Travelers...I'm a transpersonal psychotherapist and couples therapist about to move next month from Wynnewood to Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania. I am the author of Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash (Tarcher/Penguin, 2009, revised 2013) which has been my attempt to bring more emotional maturity to the planet through a series of Flash Cards for partners to actually flash to each other right from the trenches: ("This feels awful. Can we start again and really listen to each other?"..."I realize I'm over-reacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" "I know I was off, but I'm worried you would rather clobber me than get close again." etc. etc. I've discovered the power of removing voicetone from a charged interaction. And according to John Gottman, marital researcher extraordinaire, the happiest couples use repair mechanisms like mine automatically in the midst of an upset. I am a graduate of the Columbia School of Journalism, and gave up a plum job offer at the New York Times many years ago when I realized that getting millions of readers upset over the worlds insanities would not be doing as much good for the planet as helping people deal with the grievances they had with the person they woke up with. I look forward to intergrating my thinking with the beautiful thoughts of the EQ community. " - Dallas T. commented on How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone "I like what Harvey Deutschendorf said a little way back, "Do it unequivocally with no reservations, buts or maybes". ... "more "I like what Harvey Deutschendorf said a little way back, "Do it unequivocally with no reservations, buts or maybes". I'd add, and do it right now, while you have the thought to aplogize. Don't over-think it. Just do it (as they say). " - jim M. commented on "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... "Well if we lived in a perfect world then the idea that no one can hurt you unless you let them would be valid. We don't live in a ... "more "Well if we lived in a perfect world then the idea that no one can hurt you unless you let them would be valid. We don't live in a perfect world sooooo, we have to be ever mindful of what we say and do and how we say and do it. It may be an Ideal concept but we all live in the real world. If someone hurts me it is not up to me to forgive them, that's their job. I only need to forgive myself when I hurt someone and become willing to make amends. In other words, own up to it, take responsibility for the hurt caused. If I forgive me and I am imperfect and hurt people then why would I not let go of those that hurt me? I would hope that they would make amends to me but I still have to move on. It's not about forgiving them it is about letting go of the hurt. I don't believe people get up in the morning and say, "I am going to hurt so and so today" it just happens. However, depending on how much hurt one is carrying and how much one has processed that determines the ability to let go. Projecting unresolved hurt onto a present hurt can create a distortion. There are variables that complicate one’s ability to see how they hurt people, which can be taken into account. If someone doesn’t own up to their behavior; it tells me a lot about their past. This understanding makes it easier for me to let go when they hurt me. " - Anne Dranitsaris, Ph.D. How do you make sure you are helping your clients develop, integrate and use all four of their functions? Jung believed that individuation was a result of being able to use all of our functions in an integrated fashion. However, the process of developing and integrating the four functions has never been clearly mapped out beyond looking at behavioral indicators. Clients often ... more Jung believed that individuation was a result of being able to use all of our functions in an integrated fashion. However, the process of developing and integrating the four functions has never been clearly mapped out beyond looking at behavioral indicators. Clients often found it challenging to understand their introverted and extraverted functions, how to use them and when. Based on the advances in neuroscience, we have developed a roadmap for helping clients develop their whole brain and to learn to use their ‘inferior’ functions by creating new neural pathways in the brain. less An Evolution of Jung and Myers-Briggs strivingstyles.com Discover how integrate neuroscience and emotional intelligence with your understanding of MBTI Type or Jung Typology with the Striving Styles. - Striving Styles® Personality System The Next Evolution of Jung’s Typology and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator http://strivingstyles.com/sites/default/files/email_files/SSPS-%20Evolution%20of%20the%20Jung's%20Typology%20and%20the%20Myers%20Briggs%20Type%20Indicator%20MBTI-%20White%20Paper.pdf C:\~stuff\SSPS Jung theorized that there are four principal psychological functions by which we experience the world: sensation, intuition, feeling, and thinking. One of these four functions is dominant. most of the time and used in either an inwardly or outwardly fashion. --- Nice site(!) Fibromyalgia http://www.drdryland.com/ --- Happiness Paradoxes http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2013/03/happiness-paradoxes.html art by ~ManoWar100, manipulated by olgarythm Happiness is one of the most basic concepts that we know from childhood. But it is in no way simple or straightforward. It is intricate and deeply individual, it depends among other things on personality, upbringing, habits, psychological and neurological processes, and who knows what else! I also find that it is rather prone to contradictions. Here are some happiness qualities that appear contradictory: 1. Autosuggestion In the recent years, the happiness field is getting increasingly researched, offering more scientifically-supported findings. Happiness theories describe general rules and behavior trends. Curiously, however, it seems that individual happiness is consistent not with the objective findings, but with our personal subjective believes. Whatever we deeply believe in, works. If you sincerely believe that selfishness is the key to happiness, it will work for you. If you are sure that selflessness brings happiness to you, then it will. If you know that faith and prayer will make you happy, then they will. If you feel that children make you happy, then they most probably will. So even though there are happiness theories, everyone becomes happy in their own way. 2. Agreeing Is Not Necessary It does not matter if you agree or disagree with the contents of this post or any other materials on the happiness subject. It is still beneficial to read it all, because contemplating different ideas helps understand your own attitude better, whether you agree or not. It helps you crystalize who you are, become more self-aware and eventually, happier. 3. Intensely Seeking Happiness Precludes It Happiness is basically the state of being in a good mood. For some people, thinking about their happiness levels only brings them down and sours their mood. Sometimes bringing the happiness issue too much from the unconscious reactions to consciousness actually diminishes the desired happiness level. I think it happens because we stress ourselves too much over not being as happy as we want, and that makes us even less happy with ourselves. For others, however, thinking about happiness and formulating what it means opens their eyes to it and helps them focus on the right priorities in life. 4. The More We Use It, the More We Loose It "Love is..." cartoon Too often we encounter banal phrases and corny images of happiness, goodness, kindness, love, etc. They dilute the true meaning of these important concepts. Gradually, we become cynical about love, kindness and happiness, seeking some vulgar meanings and ulterior motives in them or disregarding them as cliches. Though we contaminate some important concepts by using the same words to express both superficial, fake feelings and true deep emotions, we need to dig deeper, distinguish between them, and not let the corny ones cheapen or obliterate the true ones. 5. Pure Contradictions It seems that happiness requires us to embrace and unite contradictions. For example, the notion that we are born predisposed to a certain level of happiness but may change it anyway. To be happier, we are supposed to be mindful but not pay too much attention to details; to feel contentment but want something else and have worthy goals in life; to have relationships with others but be self-sufficient; to pursue happiness but not think about it (see item 3 above). There is no clear solution to how to have both. I guess, it is something that each of us has to practice. 6. Negativity Is Easier Than Positivity Due to emotional laziness, for some of us it is easier to stay upset when we consider our circumstances bad, than to stay happy when we consider the circumstances good. To me, it is the ultimate paradox, but I see too often how people readily get angry or upset at the slightest trigger, but ignore nice things altogether. 7. Outside-in Versus Inside-out A lot of things make us happy: a sunny day, winning the lottery, someone being nice, well-behaved children, loving spouses, comfortable living, achieving goals, etc. The paradox is that to become truly happy, we have to somewhat disregard whatever happens to us (and influences our mood) and focus of the internal state of happiness. We should practice the capability to be happy without any triggers or, at the highest level of mastery, even despite negative events. Here is another contradiction to ponder: possibly, by writing this post I got to understand happiness a little better and also became more confused --- Here's how I do it, and why. --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. There should be no doubt that both EQ + IQ are important in our personal and work lives: they come as a set. By design, these components of intelligence are inseparable and complimentary, that is, assuming that “balance” can be attained/fine-tuned. Josh has touched on the several fundamental pairings of EQ vs. IQ: high IQ/low EQ, high EQ/low IQ. Both of these extreme cases have their downsides and we see examples of this in the workplace and in our personal lives. Clearly, nobody would chose to have low EQ/low IQ, so let’s whistle past the graveyard regarding this particular pairing. The winner is clearly high EQ/high IQ. Falling short in any respect here, at least we can strive to enhance our EQ and couple it with our God-given IQ. Josh also pointed out that EQ has far more deficit given the paradigm inherent in our educational framework. I have observed - within the general population - a disproportionate distribution curve that characterizes this deficit. I started to think (starting in the Fall of 2009 when I first learned about the concept of EI, both academically and practically) that this deficit can be reduced and a corresponding advantage/benefit can be attained as we advance/improve our EQ. We may not be able to increase our IQ substantially, but there is evidence that EQ has much headroom for growth. Yes, we can enhance, grow and fine-tune our EQ ... if we put our mind to the task and persevere. In the final analysis, it’s “all about balance” between EQ (right-brain/heart) and IQ (left-brain/head) so that we can continuously improve our core competencies, performance, interrelations and communication abilities in all venues. To this objective, let’s commit to do our part to promote and advance EQ in order to “make a more insightful, compassionate and vibrant world”. By Kevin Burns --- How to Apologize Well - Excellence For Everyone I like what Harvey Deutschendorf said a little way back, "Do it unequivocally with no reservations, buts or maybes". I'd add, and do it right now, while you have the thought to aplogize. Don't over-think it. Just do it (as they say). By Dallas Tye --- Everything is an opportunity for closeness, for enlightenment, for growth everything 10:30ish to bed --- 3.26 06:10 up People, I've found, are like sticks of dynamite ... the power's on the inside but nothing happens until the fuse gets lit. - Mac Anderson --- Links to eWeek 6 sec webinar videos http://www.6seconds.org/e/ --- Never tell a kid "You should be ashamed of yourself" The reason is simple. Kids already do that to themselves enough without being encouraged to, and the extra encouragement could push them to a morbid level. Shame is often the primary feeling people of all ages seek relief from through alcohol and drugs, and even suicide. It’s usually the reason kids shut down and stop working in school, and eventually drop out. Shame can also be a secondary disturbance in that it makes kids want to keep what they think and feel a secret for fear that it would reflect badly on them should others find out. It also makes them less likely to ask for or accept help that might be available to them, be it academic or mental health. Keeping secrets allows them to rehearse and practice like a broken record all manner of simple and often erroneous opinions about themselves and their lives, that they have gotten from others, or came up with on their own because of what others have said, without challenge, to the point that those become so “rutted” in their brains, and automatic, that simple opinions start to seem like facts. i.e “I’m stupid and can’t do anything”. With suicide, the number 3 cause of death in young people, there decision is typically based on opinions about themselves and their lives that they treat as facts because of this. Shame comes from believing you don’t live up to others or your own expectations. Kids have plenty of expectation placed on them right from the beginning. Plenty of expectations mean plenty of opportunities to feel shame. Many have parents who are hard to please and they come to school with a good dose of shame already built up. Shame can lead to both anxiety and anger. If someone believes they haven’t and don’t live up to others expectations, it’s easy to start to imagine you won’t in the future and generate anxiety. Low self-esteem is really just shame about the past and present, and anxiety about the future because of it, and anxiety causes kids to dread new challenges and opportunities. Shame can also lead to anger as kids try to protect themselves from shame. Anger gives anyone a false sense of power, righteousness, permission and protection. It can be very attractive to kids who feel powerless, who hear more about what they do wrong, who have had many hurtful things said to them, and who have a lot of shame and anxiety they don’t like feeling. I always tell teachers you get either turtles or rattlesnakes with kids feeling intense shame, the first because of anxiety, the second because of anger. But both are totally defensive, just like with the real deals. Unfortunately, most teachers resent the anger and find it disrespectful rather than seeing it as a symptom of shame students need help with, and do the equivalent of poking a snake with a stick. That never ends well for either party, in the wild, or a classroom. Teachers sometimes say, “The problem with these kids is they have no shame”. Actually, it’s actually the opposite in most cases. They’ve had a lifetime of being told, or getting the message in a host of other ways that they don’t live up to expectations. The solution is to teach and encourage such kids to have USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance. One way to do that is to model having UOA or Unconditional Others Acceptance for them. You can learn what that means as www.itsjustanevent.com In medicine, there’s the first do no harm rule. If you can’t make something better, at least don’t make it worse. Telling a kid “You should be ashamed of yourself” when the real problem is they already are, violates that rule big time. You have a right to want kids to behave, and to not like it when they don’t. If they don’t, simply “I don’t like what you’re doing. I want you to stop that. And if you don’t, I’m going to .”. And if they don’t, do what you promised. - 06:57 Write on, Ray! We differentiate Shame vs. Guilt. Guilt is "I did something bad." vs. Shame is "I AM bad, a bad person"... big difference! I agree with you... I never say "you should be ashamed of yourself" (having grown up with shame, it ain't fun, or productive, or helpful). ... and I believe there are two kinds of Guilt... 1. Punishing Guilt: where we feel horrible about what we did, beat ourselves up, pound regularly on our forehead, and generally tear ourselves down for whatever we did. (not helpful) 2. Productive Guilt: where we (consciously) feel badly about what we did, but we LEARN our lessons from it, figure out ways to ensure that I never let that happen again, make amends where necessary, and once we're sure we learned our lesson, we 'let go' of the guilt, and go back to loving and accepting ourselves. (most helpful) Oh, and one more thing about guilt... I've found that people who feel terribly guilty about something, esp. that happened long ago, have actually convinced themselves that they're DOing something about the problem ("see how I'm beating myself up"), when they have no intention on doing anything real about it (like "I'm sorry"). Shame sucks... avoid it as much as possible. Guilt can be awesome... use it wisely. --- online attitude it's not 'feel sorry for me' it's feel WITH me. I'll feel, out loud, and you can join me, or not. tell my hardships, but spin 'em. be real, but positive, always positive. I clearly haven't found --- EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! Thanks you guys! Yes, my car (and my hands, much of the time) do smell awesome! It's fun, when the Post Office ladies see me coming with my entire back seat full of white boxes of every shape and size... yikes... but they've been so sweet about it all. I gotta do it again, 'cause someone posted the link to the half-price sale on another site and (accidently) forgot to mention that it was a one-day sale... so... here we go again when I get home this weekend. --- Danielle, once we figure out this Movement thing... let's announce it. it's gotta be a grass-roots thing so how do we get folks involved to help. announce plans to lead, but ask for help, so it's a WE deal. any idea what about how many people listen live, or later? Feel. org --- BlogTalkRadio.com Step 1 - Select Account Type Select Premium First Month Free! $39 per monthIncludes Free Benefits AND 2 hour show per day 50 live concurrent callers 5,000 promotional impressions per month Prime time scheduling Upload, edit & replace episodes Select Plus First Month Free! $99 per monthIncludes Premium Benefits AND 3 hour show per day 100 live concurrent callers 10,000 promotional impressions per month Toll-free host number No audio/video ads Select Pro Most Features $249 per monthIncludes Plus Benefits AND 3 hour show per day 250 live concurrent callers 20,000 promotional impressions per month No banner ads (Or feature your own) Promotion in prime homepage placements Live streaming on any website Select Free $0 Free Benefits Include: - Host your own live talk radio show using any phone and a web browser - 5 simultaneous guests/listeners on your show - Live chat with listeners - Promotional tools: share on social networks, embed on blog/iTunes - All shows archived as podcasts Includes: 30 Minute Show per Day, 5 live callers, No Prime-time Scheduling, Limited to 3 Uploads. Show Title: (35x) EQ-101: FEEL It to HEAL It Profile Description: (155x) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is HOT! Adding right-brain EQ to left-brain IQ will rock your world. Let's explore, learn, share, and grow together! (not used, too long) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the study of US! What we think, and as importantly, what we FEEL, then we get to decide what to DO with all that. We learn left-brain intelligence (IQ) in school - now let's explore the rest of us - our right-brain passion, creativity, and aliveness (EQ). EQRocks! Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is HOT! Adding right-brain EQ to left-brain IQ will rock your world. We'll explore, learn, share, and grow together! Join us as we delve into our right-brain passion, creativity and joy called Emotional Intelligence! But that's where our pain lives too, but we can conquer it, together. Show Category: (cbo) Self Help: Self Help --- EditPadLite to the right (the Windows 7 half-way) whole IE screen behind type what I can see. --- , post to shows comment on Terri's post blogtalk radio --- 07:58 go... quick. or to Lucky Dr., slow there's nothing on the ferry that makes it much better this morning and Tuesday is the busiest day, so it will prob. sell out which means I ride the bus maybe/probably/but not definitely or I can drive to Lucky drive, slowly, and sanely, catch the 08:30 bus and off I go. I'll have to walk to Lucky drive after, but that's cool. 08 go! whoops no, don't go don't stress breathe. when I get rushed, I breathe shallower --- Jim, I agree with much of your views except for the "it is not up to me to forgive them". Again, I believe this is based on perception. You may not feel the need to forgive to move on but, I can guarantee that most people see this as a part of the process of letting go and moving on. Being able to assess, understand, and deal with one's own feelings is a difficult process for many people simply because, facing those feelings may bring them some type of pain. How many times have we heard the 'he/she just won't talk to me!' statement in relationships? Too many for me to count! I agree that "If someone doesn’t own up to their behavior; it tells me a lot about their past." Yet, this does not negate the fact that we are all responsible for our own actions and feelings. And, if we want to have healthy relationships, we need to be mindful of the damage either our statements or actions can cause along with the ramifications. By Mary Romero --- ok. now it's 08:12, and I just missed the 08:30 bus so try for the 08:49 actually, don't 'try for it' get your ass up, outta the chair, and go... now bye go. dog... 08:13 gone. 08:49 bus 24 from Lucky Dr. last day for humans on the GGB(!) last Tuesday at 111 Sutter. --- Print Screen, Screen Shots there's Alt-PrintScrn, which does the entire screen or Shift-Alt-PrintScrn, which does only the active window --- Euc Testimonial My suggies love eucalyptus!!! --- 3:33 I slept a long time last night... almost 7 hours but snoozed >10x today (and even more yesterday) including on the Mkt St steps after salad (not that warm out, but in the sun and outta the wind on the steps) salad from Lee's (good!) and berry cookie from Subway (also good!) --- If I were a sculpter but then again, no. - EJ --- 5:55pm out 7:30pm conf call with Michelle Pauls, Sharon and Paula re: ND and Buck asking Michelle not to be there drove around realized US vs. Mexico (soccer) was happenin' ended up at Pizza Orgazmica L and XL 1/2 price on Tuesdays (mine wasn't very good) but US 0:0, which was a big win for us! --- 9:50 SR "I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended." - Nelson Mandela --- LI-EIN John-Michael Dumais • If the experience of hurt is in the air, then it is an opportunity to heal, plain and simple. If I am stepping on your foot (physically or metaphorically) then I am contributing to your hurt, even if I have no idea that I am doing so -- and even if the causes are primarily in your subconscious (and yes, it is a perspective but saying so to the other person isn't likely to get you far). I don't need to feel responsible for the hurting, but I can be responsible (able to respond) to the experience of hurt by asking for clarification for example, "I am sorry, can you please tell me how what I did that felt hurtful?" The "I am sorry" is a social lubricant in this instance, not an admission of guilt/responsibility but: 1) a recognition/allowance of suffering in the other; 2) the allowance that my actions can be perceived as causing suffering; and 3) an expression of the desire to reduce suffering in the current situation. This is an opportunity to be empathetic and keep the bridge of the heart open, to develop understanding of the other, and to thus reduce suffering and contribute to another's well-being (which by the way contributes to our own!). Reflexively pushing back the other by trying to get them to see the pain as theirs is imo a denial of our own pain (e.g., being made to feel responsible for our parents' suffering), and does not help. (Believe me, I have tried and neither I nor the others were ever helped). This does not mean we must stay around others if they habitually blame, that might require a different strategy. So we are not talking about being a doormat at any level here. The experience of hurt in ourselves or others is a reflection of frustrated but nonetheless positive needs/drives/values; we can help assuage this frustration by consciously connecting with this deeper level (through empathic listening), by seeing no battle/blame/guilt, and by accepting and affirming the other's core energy. This requires that we do our own innerwork, naturally, and keep doing it as such situations emerge. The key is to recognize that if we get caught or hooked by resisting or pushing away another's pain or expression of it, then there is something in that exchange that is ours. Pema Chodron talks a lot about this in her CD, Getting Unstuck, which I have found incredibly useful. (see http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php ) jim mandelin • Forgiveness in Latin means, "To go back as before". In order to do that, both the hurt and the hurter must come to a place of healing so that they can go "back as before." So often this can not be done. I still stand by the point that it is not my job to forgive them because this has been my experience. I have had to let go of things that so many people could not fathom that anyone could do such things to children. It has been my experience that I have had to forgive myself, first for the hateful things that were done to me which later got acted out on others when I became a violent gang member as a young adult. I beat people for a living, just like what was done to me.Hate is not a feeling but a condition. In that condition...there exists little to no humanity. After I had a near fatal brush with death, and a epiphany occurred, I came to realize what my life had come to and why. In a long (7 years) extremely painful process of change came a profound sense of empathy for myself as a child growing up with a KKK father who beat every tear that dared come out until there was none. A aunt who used me for a bed partner all my childhood, twisting my sex life into knots and an uncle who believed that his job was to beat the devil out of me( Proverbs 23 verse 13 and 14 in the King James Bible) to save me from going to hell. The depth of love and forgiveness that I have had to come to, to move on was beyond anything I could explain here. When I finally realized the correlation between what happened to me in childhood and what I became as a gang member, my eyes flew open. I asked to questions; What happened to my father when he was a child, my aunt, my uncle. Who hurt them so bad that they hurt me and others(I witnessed many) so bad. Then I knew, I could let go of them and not feel resentment. I felt empathy for them, understood them, what they did was still wrong but I understood them. I did the same as them, I just didn't have children at the time to do it to. I did it to other humans. With this realization and willingness to make amends I was then, for the most part set free from my past. As I said at the end of my last comment...there are many variables and many different experiences and perspectives, as many as there are people. My opinions are only my variables, experiences and perspectives. I do not wish to take anything away from anyone else. A friend of mine coming from the same place as me, found Jesus. It works for him but would have destroyed me. Religion and me do not mix but it changed my friends life. I honor that deeply and I honor anyone that is working towards peace and love and a more empathetic society. Check out: www.jimmandelin.ca --- Kevin Burns • There should be no doubt that both EQ + IQ are important in our personal and work lives: they come as a set. By design, these components of intelligence are inseparable and complimentary, that is, assuming that “balance” can be attained/fine-tuned. Josh has touched on the several fundamental pairings of EQ vs. IQ: high IQ/low EQ, high EQ/low IQ. Both of these extreme cases have their downsides and we see examples of this in the workplace and in our personal lives. Clearly, nobody would chose to have low EQ/low IQ, so let’s whistle past the graveyard regarding this particular pairing. The winner is clearly high EQ/high IQ. Falling short in any respect here, at least we can strive to enhance our EQ and couple it with our God-given IQ. Josh also pointed out that EQ has far more deficit given the paradigm inherent in our educational framework. I have observed - within the general population - a disproportionate distribution curve that characterizes this deficit. I started to think (starting in the Fall of 2009 when I first learned about the concept of EI, both academically and practically) that this deficit can be reduced and a corresponding advantage/benefit can be attained as we advance/improve our EQ. We may not be able to increase our IQ substantially, but there is evidence that EQ has much headroom for growth. Yes, we can enhance, grow and fine-tune our EQ ... if we put our mind to the task and persevere. In the final analysis, it’s “all about balance” between EQ (right-brain/heart) and IQ (left-brain/head) so that we can continuously improve our core competencies, performance, interrelations and communication abilities in all venues. To this objective, let’s commit to do our part to promote and advance EQ in order to “make a more insightful, compassionate and vibrant world”. --- 11:30 crash --- 3.27 1st day for GGB automated tolls only, no more humans - 06:16 The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. - Carl Jung (1875 - 1961) “Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” - Chinese Proverb working hard is good, but getting things done is better. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain. - Dolly Parton So many times, when we are being of service to others, we find the answer or solution to our own problems. - Madisyn Taylor "Once we accept our limits we go beyond them." - Albert Einstein By Dene Stuart --- LI-EIN muthuvel S. commented on "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... "Being hurt is a feeling. ... "more… "Being hurt is a feeling. The thought "Nobody can hurt me without my consent" somehow got into me,It is very powerful.Whenever some try to hurt or in situation ,I look at the same words and laugh about the incident. I look back Is there something learn from this hurt try ?.Why he/she needs to hurt ? Are they expressing something this way ? Being hurt is a feeling,which makes me less resourceful which will further complicate things. Being hurt is a feeling. " --- --------- mcp ----------- "Academics talk about it, research it, and study it, but you live it." Yeehaa, Jim... you hit it, "Academics talk about it, research it, study it, Jim, you live it."! That's what moving to our Right-brain can do for us! We LIVE it. We do talk about it, a lot... but we don't JUST talk about it. So many people can tell you all kinda wonderful stuff ABOUT emotions... but they don't do 'em. Here's a fun thing I made up... there are: - Left-left-brainers - Right-left-brainers - Left-right-brainers - Right-right-brainers many are new to EQ... I am not. We literally have been teaching the same weekend workshop, pretty much unchanged, for I first took the class and IMMEDIATELY got involved. I had both my parents go thru, my best friend at the time, and my sister (all at the same time). Heck, Paula and I met in the instructor class, and we've been married since '89. That means, too, that our kiddos Grew up with this stuff. We didn't too many of the things that our parents did, 'cause we knew better. You wanna know better? that it... people in recovery like Karen, and both Debbies, and Ricci, and Patrick, and Gloria... you guys all created love outta nothing at all. how? courage, conviction, loving yourself to decide NOT to be that way, and to create life a new... NOT how you grew up, but a new way. A loving way. A positive, don't trash anybody way. we can do better if we know better. let's show people how to know better. these BASIC concepts nobody knows! Here's the great news about EQ: - Happiness is a choice... we get to CHOOSE whether we are happy, or not, again and again and again, all day every day, from here on. - We can have WAAAY more control over ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and especially, our behaiours. - We have choices... Lots and lots of choices on attitudes, judgments, openness, intimacy, passion, pain, anger, fear, sadness, guilt, shame, and yes, even Love. - WE GET TO CHOOSE is the best news you'll ever hear!! - We do NOT have to live in pain. - We do not have to be controlled by our anger, and rage. - We can HEAL stuff -- even horribly painful, violation, abusive, war-torn, ghastly stuff -- most of it is buried in the right-brain and CAN be accessed, CAN be released and CAN be healed. - It's simple. In fact, much of the lessons and skills are super simple, not complicated, obvious when we hear them, catchy, entertaining and not difficult to remember and apply .and natural, and God-given, and good. - It they are not Easy. In fact, this may be the most Difficult thing you ever choose to do... we're talking about going for the deepest pain, the core anger, the depths of depression -- to CONQUER them! So you're not afraid of them, of yourself, any longer! - EMOTIONAL PAIN IS NOT TERMINAL!! - You will live thru it... and come out a stronger, more relaxed, more joyful, more loving, more aware, more boundless, and FREE, after (and way after, maybe way, way after, if you keep learning!). - IQ + EQ really does = LOL !! (laugh out loud, and Lots of Love!) - Love is manufactured. Crank up the ole machine and MAKE some today. - Intimacy is a choice. - Anger is Totally up to us. - Fear is even somewhat up to us. - How much we love, or not, is up to us. - Our feelings are based on Meanings, the belief systems (bs) we create, internally, to protect ourselves. As kids, we didn't know what the heck was going on -- but we did know pain, and we knew how much it hurt -- but we were also told, beaten, screamed at, punished, rejected, ignored, and otherwise told NOT to express any of our feelings (except happy, but even then, it must be controlled and not too exuberate, please). so we, as kids, said hey, "I don't know what's going on, but those guys are big adults and they know better than me... so if they're that mad, or treating me like that, it must be ME. It's gotta be me. I am bad. I don't deserve good, it's me that's the problem." (kids are great observers, but they're lousy interpretors) --- FB-NDG shit... it's just hitting me now... dammit (crying here...). Patrick?, ole budy ole pal, dude, you'd better get started writing, or recording your voice, or something! You are probably the #1 highest EQ MAN that I know! You are a SHINING example of what's possible for a MAN to heal, to re-decide, and have grown up with harshness, and changed it -- changed it all -- to create a LOVING, wonderful, awesome, EQ-centered, joy-filled household! to me, you're my picture of how it's done. Terri, too... but we gotta reach GUYS... bad. MOST of the world's problems are based on guys, or run by guys, or started by guys, or in some cases ONLY guys... 'cause we don't know how to deal with our F's and E's. soooo, get a camera, or a recorder, or I know you're not that crazy about typing, but something, please, and talk about some of the stuff you know, what you've learned, how you've CHOSEN to lie your life. It truly is a role-model for the world. Ok? We love you, dude. --- Erika, HAPPY BIRTHDAY... I just saw the notice, sorry. Hope you're having a good one, celebrating your bold move! Hey, what's up with your busy life?!? when/did you move? oh, I forgot to scan the book cover... will do that when I get back home. So, are you doing screen shots of the graphics from the PDF, and then inserting them into Word? If so, that's a great idea. Can I help? hope it's going well. (you heard about Patrick, right? yowzers... I've been crying all morning about that/him) - Matt --- shower 08:30ish bus 24 from Lucky Dr. 1st day for GGB totally automated. good writing, and analogy of a Car engine is IQ, mirrors, wheels, gas, and brake are EQ rest is Body gotta have 'em work together! >> get an acronym for the body IQ + EQ + body = whole person --- YEP, we're all set! I cleaned it up some more (see attached, 512x left) by sorting (click a column, or two, then choose Filter-Sort from the menu, A to Z or Z to A), then removing the older of records... if same date but dif. addresses, I left 'em in. I have a 9am mtg at MAC Friday morn, so I'll print 'em before and leave 'em at the office for you, ok? yay. - matt Great work on Monk, btw! Almost sold out with no eblast... cool. I have to say, tho, that paula and I went to the North Coast for dinner the other night... newly remodelled, new menu and all... and we walked out, very disappointed with the new choices, and prices. They only have 5 choices for entrees and then a bunch of Pizza... which Fort Bragg happens to be very good at. sad. Hopefully, the appetizers will be good at Monk. And they're beer is still awesome! --- mcp testimonial "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Amazing story Jim, thanks for sharing, and congrats from a fellow pilgram. But you started from a muh worse place that I did, so you deserve even more kudos. You definitely have what we call in REBT USA and UOA. Just like I know Matt does to. Nice place to get to, ain't it. Not always easy getting there. Some people certainly don't make it easy, but nice when you finally arrive. Which is ironic in some ways, because I'm no a big religious person either, but that was kind of the hallmark of JC. UOA. By Ray Mathis --- The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before. - Neil Gaiman --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Chantal, Remember when kids would say things like "I know you are, but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, you're glue, what you say bounces off me, and sticks to you"? Maybe that was a US thing. But it worked. As long as you kept thinking that and saying it out loud, you had a proverbial suit of armor. But the minute you started thinking things slike, "How dare you say that about me?" or "You can't call me that and get away with it", that armor evaporated. Those other thoughts and comments protected you as long as you stuck with them. The adult version might be: "They can think and say whatever they want to about me, or to me. That's their choice. But it's my choice how I look at myself, and therefore how I feel about myself, and they don't get to make those choices for me, unless I let them. And I choose not to today". And if they are disturbing themselves (and they probably are), they're doing that to themselves, so it helps to remind yourself: "No one upsets them, they upset themselves" "It's not my problem is they disturb themselves, it's theirs" "They're responsible for how they feel, not me". "They have a right to disturb themselves needlessly if they want to. and I'll be glad to help them exercise that right".. This is all a combination of what you could call Mental and Emotional Karate, or even Verbal Karate. Like anything else, you want to get good at it, you have to practice the "moves" so they become automatic and such thoughts/comments are on the "tip of your tongue". I'll bet you're familiar with the Dr. Victor Frankl quote. Essentially that "our last freedom is our attitude" What the man taught us above all else is that people can't get inside our heads unless we let. And an extension of that is that we can evict people who have been living there too long rent free, like these folks on LI might be for you. The key is to remember that in the end, anything they say or do is just an event in your life, and it's YOUR CHOICE how you look at yourself, and therefore how you feel about yourself (thoughts cause feelings, not events). CHOICE is power. I usually ask kids being bullied, "What do you think they get out of doing that to you and getting a reaction every time?" It doesn't take them long to answer "Power". Then I ask them, "How would you like me to teach you how to take that away from them and keep it for yourself?" That usually gets a smile. I just taught you. BTW, when they do get you you, according to Albert Ellis, you'd be saying thins like the following to yourself. "How could they say something like that/be that way/talk to someone like that?" Unfortunately, the answer is EASILY. What's it really take? Or you'd be thinking "They can't say that.(Demandiness) It's not true (and it has to be - more Demandiness). It's really awful they say things like that (Awfulizing). I can't stand when people treat others like that (Can't Stand It-itis). They $%#% for saying that about me". Well, to make a long story short, yes that can, it doesn't have to be true for them to say it, it's not awful, just unpleasant, and you can stand it, you just don't like it, and that's understandable. And they're not really $%#%, they just say and do things you don't like, and you have a right to not like it". The key to your emotional reaction is always what you think about what they say and do. You probably have some automatic cognitive response right now. You can't get rid of those But you can make new ones, and with practice, they'll become automatic.. By Ray Mathis --- Hey Tianna, According to this, you ordered 8-1' branches, and I sent 10 on purpose. Did you think you ordered 40? Did I miss another order? let me know! - Matt --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Well, we only control what we think, feel, say or do, not what others do. Sometimes that's a bitter pill to swallow. We always have four basic options according to Dr. Paul Hauck 1) Problem solve and assert yourself 2) Tolerate WITH disturbance 3) Tolerate WITHOUT disturbance 4) Leave (the room, a relationships, a job, etc) With these kinds of folks, it does little to assert yourself personally. Just like it would do little good for a child or teen to do it with their tormentors. But you did say this person(s) DEFAME you. Is the a course for legal action .If it's in print, there definitely might be. The downside is you might have to prove harm done. I don't know the legal ins and outs. The other option might be to contact LinkedIn customer service - if you haven't already. I got some pretty nasty emails from someone and I contacted them. Never heard from them unfortunately, but the emails stopped, so maybe they warned that person. Otherwise, is that's the extent of problem solving, then it's down to the other three options. I suspect you don't want to LEAVE LinkedIn (we're such good company). So that leaves number 2 or 3. Tolerate WITH or WITHOUT disturbance. I'd certainly urge you to do the latter. But we also have to remember that we get what we tolerate sometimes. What reason does someone have to change their behavior if we tolerate it? You also want to expect that if you take the position that "I don't want to play this game anymore", they'll try to drag you back into the game by escalating their behavior. Just like kids do. I teach my guys a fishing metaphor. Because they get "hooked" by teachers so much. It's as if teachers are trolling or fly casting with somewhat sarcastic or authoritative comments and my guys are like large mouth basses and can't help but bite at the "bait". So sometimes when they're relating their stories I start acting like I'm fishing for them like the teacher was, and that usually helps they see clearly what happened and they start to laugh and usually say "Yeah, I know, I got hooked". The goal is to not let people "hook" you. By Ray Mathis --- The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. - Paulo Coelho --- I'm coding at work, and I like it! --- 4:48 out to Lenscrafters for new reading glasses! --- 7 support group call >> Plan to Danielle! --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Gavin DeBecker's books might help you out, Chantal. And if the bullying is physically dangerous and/or defamation of your character, report it. If this skank is deliberately targeting you, and invites his minions to join in, report it. Bullies bully as long as they think they can get away with it. Get the help you need to put a stop to it, be it LinkedIn staff, lawyer, the police, or all of the above. Like most predators, they want you isolated and cut off. Much easier to hurt you that way. You're not alone, even though it feels that way. Reach out and take whatever help you need. By Rebecca O'Donnell --- Euc testimonial wow. got the leaves/stalks today. thank you matt. your the best. nancy --- "Children are wonderful observers, but lousy interpretors!" As kids, we think that if people around us are hurting us, "it must be me". I must be the problem, I must be bad, I'm not worthy of love. To heal that as adults, we must go back and let our bodies feel to the extent they were felt as a child... all the stuff that still sits in our bodies, held tight (the core of stress) What if the CORE of stress is childhood pain. What if we could release most ALL of our childhood pain, - Myron Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT (my mentor, the founder of CABT and another illustrious member of this group!) --- SEL/EQ Meta-Analysis http://casel.org/why-it-matters/benefits-of-sel/meta-analysis/ Project Description With funding from the W.T. Grant Foundation and the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Mental Health, CASEL president and CEO Roger Weissberg and Joseph Durlak, professor of clinical psychology at Loyola University Chicago, have directed the meta-analyses of 213 positive youth development, SEL, character education, and prevention interventions. These are the largest, most scientifically rigorous, and up-to-date reviews of controlled outcome research on interventions that promote children’s social and emotional development to date. The reviews include school, family, and community interventions designed to promote personal and social skills in children and adolescents between the ages of 5 and 18. The reviews looked at the impact of SEL programs on students’ SEL skills, attitudes toward self and others, positive social behavior, conduct problems, emotional distress, and academic performance. Results Summary SEL programs have found to yield multiple benefits in every review/analysis conducted to date. The reviews indicate that SEL programs: ---------------- mcp ---------- D-R •Are effective in both school and after-school settings and for students with and without behavioral and emotional problems. •Are effective for racially and ethnically diverse students from urban, rural, and suburban settings across the K-12 grade range. •Improve students’ social-emotional skills, attitudes about self and others, connection to school, and positive social behavior; and reduce conduct problems and emotional distress. •Improve students’ achievement test scores by 11 percentile points. In addition, school-based programs are most effectively conducted by school staff (e.g., teachers, student support staff) indicating that they can be incorporated into routine educational practice. Effective programs and approaches are typically sequenced, active, focused, and explicit (S.A.F.E.), meaning they: •S: use a Sequenced set of activities to achieve skill objectives •A: use Active forms of learning •F: include at least one program component Focused on developing personal or social skills •E: Explicitly target particular personal or social skills for development The magnitude and scope of these benefits suggests that SEL programs are among the most successful youth-development programs offered to school-age youth. Given these positive findings, we recommend that federal, state, and local policies and practices encourage the broad implementation of well-designed, evidence-based SEL programs during and after school. - Download full article http://casel.org/publications/the-impact-of-enhancing-students-social-and-emotional-learning-a-meta-analysis-of-school-based-universal-interventions/ - Related Links The benefits of social and emotional learning: Highlights from a major new study A new study reveals that students who participate in school?based programs focused on social and… The impact of after-school programs that promote personal and social skills Conducted in collaboration with Joseph Durlak of Loyola University and funded by the W.T. Grant… Positive impact of social and emotional learning for kindergarten to eighth-grade students: Findings from three scientific reviews This report summarizes results from three large-scale reviews of research on the impact of SEL… A meta-analysis of after-school programs that seek to promote personal and social skills in children and adolescents A meta-analysis of after-school programs that seek to enhance the personal and social skills of… Social and emotional learning programmes that work Educators, policymakers and the public agree that young people should leave school proficient in academic… --- Ray Mathis said, "Matt Perelstein posted a great paradigm..." what's a paradigm (20 cents)?! 10:30 to bed (yay!) that's STILL one of very FAVORITE feelings, is getting into bed!(!) laying down, letting it all go, ready to SLEEP, free, g'night --- 3.28 04:20 up, to write there's an ugly pause going on on this laptop, which makes typing as fast as I do/can, painful... I'm sure it has a virus (or two). GoDaddy email client has a calendar... like Outlook. try it. it just holds emails(!) How is that a calendar?!? wtf? , get MS Security Essentials and run it! (have it, running full scan...) set to run every Tues. morn at 2... but my laptop's usually asleep at that time, so... we'll see... no, changed to Thurs at 0700. that way, I can leave the machine on when I go to work, and let it finish. 05:10 changed FULL scan to Quick Scan, for now. Then it should bug me again in a few hours (I hope). when it's this slow, all I can do is write, as the internet is suppppper slow, and that delay while I'm typing throws me off enuf that I don't want to do it anymore. it's not the internet that's slow... it's the whole computer. that means Virus... something else is running, big time, that slows everything else. Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. - Pablo Picasso life on earth has more meaning than may be immediately apparent to you. - NDW Most often, after you have completed something you didn't want to do, you wonder why you were so worried in the first place. --- LI-EIN "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Thank you for your wonderfully kind words. I tell my story to kids in schools, 250 times a year. Because I tell them my story, 100's of kids email me telling me their stories, mosst askinf for help. A lot of people who could help are often in the way of these kids getting help. I have become a thorn in some administrators sides I guess. Anyway, I have to pass on what I have been so loving given. Glad some people get it. Check out my story in book form, it is called, "A Life Worth Dying For, The Jim Mandelin Story." It was just published 5 months ago. A movie is in the works as well and a documentary interviewing some of my family members that the fim maker got them to talk, this will be revealing. All but one of them have passed away. The book is available in most book stores, amazon and my website: jimmandelin.ca < http://jimmandelin.ca > . Alll proceeds go to helping me help kids. It is great to know others have survived simular lives. Thanks for your supportive words. By jim mandelin --- >> create undistracted time it's ME that's letting myself get distracted. 1. I don't get MY stuff done 2. I do do other stuff, that's enjoyable, and I stay in contact with people REALLY well! some still fall thru, but still, I stay Active friends with hundreds! it's a juggle, no doubt, but I believe people feel me, and feel the sincerity. (I hope) they keep saying they love me, so... it's enough of your brilliant renditions of how screwed up THEY are. what about you? oh, and it's handy because 'they' >> Lourie, how'z your letter coming? I believe we can make an emotional support network Here's my dream for us/Us/US. Kids DO need help, and so do we/adults (bad). ... and now we know how to do it! Right-brain Rules! CBT is by-far the most popular form of therapy... Left-brain creates thoughts, which create feelings, which cause distress and stinky behaviours. Change the thoughts, and everything changes, right? IQ -> EQ -> Behavioural changes change the IQ, and you'll feel better, and do better It's true! It works! It's fast, super-simple, and it works... mostly. But here's the catch, they go directly from left-brain to behaviours, lightly touching on how our thoughts created our feelings, so you'll know, cognitively, how it all works. BUT, there's a WHOLE right-brain side that's missing from this equation! Cognitive (left-brain IQ) + Affective (right-brain EQ) = Behaviours (we think, we feel, we do, whether we're aware of it, or not) hence, IQ + EQ = LOL !! (LOL = laugh-out-loud, or lots-of-love, I like both!) Sometimes (often) we really DO feel what we feel. Sometimes, when we've carried anger and pain and sadness in our bodies for like, 20 or 40 or 60 years, it's really pain... and it really needs to be addressed, directly. Our pictures, sounds, smells, touch and taste are all in our Right-brain. What is Trauma? A horrible event that happened to you/me/all of us, that get's STUCK in our body, and trashes our lives, right? Yes, it's right, and it's RIGHT! The PICTURES we have, the memories, where the trauma LIVES, is in the right-brain. and here's the Good News... We can Change it! We can change the pictures. we can change the sounds. we can even change the smells. why? 'cause our brain doesn't really know the dif. between real and Imagined! in fact, we 'imagined' the picture the first time it happened, so we can RE-IMAGINE it now! try it... it only takes a sec... remember a yucky event that happened to you. start at the beginning, JUST BEFORE the event, when you were fine, and feeling safe, you were Ok. now start the trauma event happening, and then right away CHANGE IT! what happens in your mind/pictures? CHANGE 'EM!, Re-Imagine them. Trauma: car slid, out-of-control, into a tree, hurting everyone inside.... ... so, see you driving, and you're fine. see the snow, and you're fine. see the trees, and you're fine, and then just as you start to slide toward the tree, when you usually feel horror, CHANGE the tree into a butterfly or rather than skidding, you make the turn, and off you go, to the ski slopes... or you turn into snowflakes, and land lightly on the tree, beautifying it... or WHATEVER you want! It's your imagination... make the picture smaller, or further away. - make it brighter, or so dark you can't see it. - put it around to the side or in back of your head, rather than living in your frontal cortex, so you see it all the time. - let the picture Drop, out of your body, smashing onto the floor into a million pieces, never to harm anyone again. We can change stuff inside of us. We have WAAAY more control, and power, inside us than we ever thought possible. I think people are becoming accepting of the fact that we CAN heal our physical ailments by thinking them healed, ok, maybe it's true, people are healing themselves of cancer, maybe... but they still can't fathom that we can do the same with our past pain, anger, sadness and hurt. 1. they never thought of it. 2. nobody talks about it. 3. even if they do talk about, they don't talk about THIS, about it! NLP is awesome! --- what's the term to get our right-brain going? Activate Initiate - ND Brochure ND is a Right-brain Reboot! Our right-brain gets Our bs belief systems are like a Virus in our heart! Our pent-up emotions are like a full-hard drive Our painful past is like having sticky or missing keys on your keyboard. We can Re-Boot it all! ... and you can Emotional Bootcamp Right-brain Reboot Virus protection for your heart! We all have viruses. Find 'em, quarantine 'em. take a look at them, and see what you see. get to know little you a bit, to have some empathy, and to UNDERSTAND how you got to be you... the you you are today. Love is letting go of fear. >> danielle ---------- mcp ---------- MCP AND MKD Quotes All love starts with self-love. Empathy starts with self-empathy. We gotta heal us, so we can help heal them. We gotta feel it to heal it. We can't heal what we won't feel. Happiness is a choice. Guilt, and shame, are optional. Even anger is optional. Emotional pain is not terminal. Negative feelings, expressed as deeply as they are felt, will reduce in intensity and are free to change. When feelings go up, logic goes down. Feelings aren't good or bad, they just are. (I disagree with this one... I think feelings are great!) No Shoulds (some shoulds are ok, like 'I should change my oil every 3-5K' and 'we should be nice', but only if we agree with them... doing 'I shoulds', 'she shoulds', 'he shoulds' are not usually helpful, nor real) IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQ > IQ (?) laughter is one of the keys to sanity! It's not about talking about it, researching it, or studying it... it's about living it! - mcp (copied all - mcp to ~mcp_Quotes.txt) --- 06:36 How about a check-in, guys? I'd love to hear from Karen?, and Troy?, and Ryan?, and Tim?, and Jennifer?, and John?, and Nikki?, and Michelle?, and Tara?, and Cary?, and YOU (I really do think about you... you're MOST of my favorite people on the planet!) What's happenin'? Whatcha feeling these days? It's part of your/our recovery and good mental health to let ourselves stay connected! --- Mary from my perspective it is a myth to believe someone can hurt you, or you can hurt someone. Just as much as it is a myth to say or believe people can think for each other. Naturally, in relationships if we believe the myth, we can make it look like reality, however to give up personal power is to get into a symbiotic and potentially damaging relationship. Warmest John By John Parr Travel and change of place impart new vigour to the mind. - Seneca (4 BC - 65 AD) --- --- 06:36 How about a check-in, guys? I'd love to hear from Karen?, and Troy?, and Ryan?, and Tim?, and Jennifer?, and John?, and Nikki?, and Michelle?, and Tara?, and Cary?, and YOU (I really do think about you... you're MOST of my favorite people on the planet!) What's happenin'? Whatcha feeling these days? It's part of your/our recovery and good mental health to let ourselves stay connected! --- Mary from my perspective it is a myth to believe someone can hurt you, or you can hurt someone. Just as much as it is a myth to say or believe people can think for each other. Naturally, in relationships if we believe the myth, we can make it look like reality, however to give up personal power is to get into a symbiotic and potentially damaging relationship. Warmest John By John Parr Travel and change of place impart new vigour to the mind. - Seneca (4 BC - 65 AD) --- --- 06:36 How about a check-in, guys? I'd love to hear from Karen?, and Troy?, and Ryan?, and Tim?, and Jennifer?, and John?, and Nikki?, and Michelle?, and Tara?, and Cary?, and YOU (I really do think about you... you're MOST of my favorite people on the planet!) What's happenin'? Whatcha feeling these days? It's part of your/our recovery and good mental health to let ourselves stay connected! --- Mary from my perspective it is a myth to believe someone can hurt you, or you can hurt someone. Just as much as it is a myth to say or believe people can think for each other. Naturally, in relationships if we believe the myth, we can make it look like reality, however to give up personal power is to get into a symbiotic and potentially damaging relationship. Warmest John By John Parr Travel and change of place impart new vigour to the mind. - Seneca (4 BC - 65 AD) --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. EQ is about knowing your own feelings, thoughts, values, beliefs, moods, actions, reactions and the impact they are having on the outcomes you desire; it's also about knowing the feelings, values, beleifs of others so that you can work with them on common goals. It's also about assertiveness, impulse control and replacing unproductive habits of thought and emotion to more productive ones. ------- mcp --------- , to Mike Duffy IQ will determine your success so long as you do not have to depend on output of other people's work in order to produce your output. However, once your work becomes collaborative in nature where you have to work together with other individuals to produce a single combined output, EQ can easily become as important as IQ. To go a step further, when you become responsible for output of other people's work, EQ becomes the driver of your results and if you are relying solely on your IQ than much depends on EQ of those around you. By Ambuj Jain --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Intelligence coefficient is about One's ability to observe what needs to be observed and make the right choices... On the other hand, supplementing IQ, Emotional coefficient is about discerning and integrating our very human nature within environmental patterns! --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. There are some things we can and should do to make our lives better 1) Access and act on helpful advice and information we've been given/acquired 2) Consider consequences before acting 3) Learn from our own or others experiences 4) Act in accordance with our personal morals/vbalues 5) Function at levels we are capable of 6) Make the best possible behavioral and lifestyle choices for us and others When people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion, these things become difficult or perhaps even impossible. Tell someone who's angry "Don't let it bother you. Just ignore it" and that can't act on that advice, regardless of how good it might be. When people are angry, they blurt out things, or even do things, even though they could otherwise predict the negative consequences of what they say or do. People who are lonely might rush to have unprotected sex, even though they know the real risks in doing so Kids in schools keep getting into the same trouble, and it often even escalates, because they're angry, and get even angrier as they get punished. We have a safe haven law because even some very devoutly moral and religious young girls have sex before marriage because they're lonely, get pregnant and put their babies in dumpster or abandon them in others ways. Kids bomb tests because they get anxious. Adults blow interviews. Football players get personal fouls because they get angry. People amoke, drink, use drugs, overeat, cut themselves, etc. for the relief it gives them from how they feel. In other words, having too much emotion makes people less response-ABLE. They don't have the response-ABILITY that might be helpful to have, and instead react to life. A dysfunctional amount of emotion can make otherwise smart people do stupid things. That's why learning to manage what goes on inside your own head is so crucial to being a healthy, functional human being. And why we should be teaching all our young people how to do it better. By Ray Mathis --- Yeah, we'd be excited Robin?, except that they keep moving the date, again and again. I dont' know what all they're doing... but my bet is that's not gonna help us much, racquetball-wise. Tom said they're fixing and changing all kinda stuff... EXCEPT the racquetball courts... and we're losing court 3 to stationary bikes. So, as much as I wanna play again, it's been over 2 months of delays and still nothing, so it's been frustrating. Thanks for the encouragement, tho! Some day... --- I'm with Ray all the way, and I love how Ambuj put it... "once your work becomes co-llaborative in nature where you have to work together with other individuals to produce a single combined output, EQ can easily become as important as IQ. To go a step further, when you become responsible for output of other people's work, EQ becomes the driver of your results..." -- excellent! And I'm gonna go one step further... much further... I contend that many of the world's most pressing problems today are man-made problems -- suicide, addictions, divorce, abuse, violence, mental health, crime, even war -- are all because we (esp. guys) have low EQ! I contend that if we TEACH and show the world EQ, we can slow, maybe stop, some of these. Wars are not started by people with low IQ -- they're world leaders who probably have very high IQ's -- does it matter? Does it matter how smart we are, intellectually, if we have hatred in our hearts? Let's help spread the good news about EQ. as Josh says, "It matters." --- ---------- mcp ---------- It doesn't matter all that much what happens, what matters is what we think, feel and believe about what happens! - mcp --- 07:28 It went VERY well, Thanks! Danielle has wonderfully, positive energy, and we share the same concepts about "We gotta Feel it to Heal it"! We're even discussing further plans for a Movement toward EQ: Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Maturity & Emotional Mastery. ha. So, they posted the MP3 recording of the show at the same blogtalkradio link (above, no signin required). 30 min. Enjoy! (feedback is welcome) --- - "Children are wonderful observers, but lousy interpretors!" - Myron Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT (one of my mentors, the founder of CABT and another illustrious member of this group!) EQ is semi-magical when it comes to business, leadership, sales, customer service, mental health, crime, violence, and more, yet before this thread, we hadn't talked much about one of EQ's greatest assets -- the paradigm to help us heal our painful past! As kids, we think that if people around us are hurting us, "it must be me". "I must be the problem," "I must be bad," "I must not be worthy of love" (the root of shame). As adults, to heal our childhood pain, anger and sadness, CABT teaches us to go back into our heart and mind, and LET OUR BODIES FEEL to the extent that we felt it as a child... the stuff that still sits in our bodies, stuffed tightly inside us, and colors our world, and raises our stress, and fuels our anger, and depression. - What if the CORE of our stress is unresolved childhood pain? - What if we could release most all of that pain simply by letting ourselves FEEL to the extent our bodies want to anyway, and then change the (conscious and unconscious) Meanings we've placed on ourselves and others based on these life-changing events? - What if we could Heal our past, live free in the present, and create the best possible future we can, together? In over 25 years of doing this emotional healing work, I have personally witnessed many, many, many semi-miraculous improvements/interventions JUST by letting/helping/making it safe for people to feel their own organic feelings! As Jim put it so well, "...depending on how much hurt one is carrying and how much one has processed that determines the ability to let go. Projecting unresolved hurt onto a present hurt can create a distortion. There are variables that complicate one’s ability to see... Let's spread the good news that EQRocks! --- 07:51 wash dishes, and wet hair scrub bathroom sink and toidy get dressed, and... 08:11 go (to Lucky Dr.) --- LAST day of work at 111 Sutter! sad. very cool building. --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Time for me to return the favor Matt. Write on brother. It's too bad you're on the other side of the country. Some relevant and favorite quotes "The problems of man are mad-made. They can be solved by man" JFK (which is what you said, and ultimately, it all goes back to how people CHOOSE to look at things, themselves, others and life) "A person's behavior follow his (her) emotions toward his (her) life events" Terry London "If a person cannot control his emotional response to his (her) life events, he (she) will either make poor behavioral choices or sabotage his performance" Terry London "If a person is deficient in emotional management, then limit setting, behavioral modification and behavioral skills training will have a limited and short term effect" Terry London "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" Einstein. By Ray Mathis --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Wonderful discussion. Yes, yes, yes on all fronts. Just want to muse out loud about how positively imaginative we start out as little ones. Spontaneous, creative, innovative, and 'all of one fabric' if we are lucky enough to be born into a fairly 'sane environment'. Then comes socialization and the push towards adulthood. Imaginative perception is labeled as lying, we are observed and labeled with concepts of good, bad, right and wrong. Then comes the 'sell out' as we attempt to be good, right, responsible (as defined as without blame instead of the definition of ' ability to respond to what is') and that storehouse of positive imagination goes underground and relegated to second class citizen. To my mind, it takes a leap of courage to embrace the 'Forest Gump' aspect of ourselves in favor of owning our ability to elevate our habit of mundane problem-solving to the reclaiming of positive imagining ability that cares more about the perceptions of those around us rather than 'the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth' judicious approach towards ourselves, our loves and our lives. By Susan McNeal Velasquez --- PP = 3523 -166 Lenscrafters, new reading glasses(!) AFTER insurance paid a bunch -26 Pizza Orgazmica, XL, 1/2 price, but not good. --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Matt...Ohhhh the lights that shine when we choose to dialogue!! Your statement, "CABT teaches us to go back into our heart and mind, and LET OUR BODIES FEEL to the extent that we felt it as a child... the stuff that still sits in our bodies, stuffed tightly inside us, and colors our world, and raises our stress, and fuels our anger, and depression." I did exactly this to get to know the 'Little Mary' inside and feel the pain as she felt it. I also discuss how to do this in my book. What was different in my situation is that, even though I severed the ties with my father for obvious reasons, some people are so adament on inflicting pain that, truly, they can only do it if you allow it. The few times he was able to reach me, it consisted of what a 'horrible child' I was, profanity, and how I 'dreamed' my abuse. It is my belief that he continued this for his OWN benefit...not mine. A guilty conscience can be a real gut wrencher! In order for the offender to justify their actions, it is important that the victim 'realize' they played a role in HOW the offender acted....NOT TRUE. And some....simply have mental illness that goes way beyond what any of us could fathom as 'reality'. Stay strong my friends....you all have a purpose! By Mary Romero --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Mary, I think what happens is that when any of us first learn and start to appreciate that we have choices we make that really determine how we feel rather than what others say and do, it's a very empowering transformation. Sometimes we get like former smokers and almost become evangelical in trying to spread the word to others. It's easy to phrase things in ways that will appear insensitive to others when this happens, especially people with history like you have, or Jim has.. There's a science to this, but also an art. The art is in finding a way to convey the science to people like you or Jim in a way that is empowering and not likely to be taken as being offensive. That can be tough. Learned this the hard one. One time in particular when I was teaching the formula EVENT + THOUGHTS = FEELING, and innocently made the statement "So everything others say or do or that happens is just an event (meaning in the formula)". Had 3 girls in the same class who unbeknownst to me had all lost their fathers to heart attack within a year or two. They thought I was discounting the importance of that loss and being dismissive of what they felt. Taught me a tough lesson about the art of talking about such matter, even if the science is on your side. That's why I always emphasize that whatever any of us think, feel, say or do is perfectly understandable given what we've each been through before, during and after talking about the role choice plays in how we feel. I often use the visual of those scales in the doctor's office where the nurse slides a weight left or right to get a balance. Sometimes we need to slide in the direction of "Whatever we think, feel, say or do is understandable", and other times the other way toward "It's my choice how I think and feel, and what I say and do". And sometimes, we have to slide back and forthe quickly, like when we're trying to explain some tricky issues, especially when people have tough histories. I sometimes talk about the "big lie" most people live their lives by - that what others say and do makes them feel the way they do". That could get me in trouble just as much as using the word "myth" in the same breath you talk about people feeling hurt. By Ray Mathis --- 2:26 Mike Duffy 1. Another Excellent Quote: “IQ will determine your success so long as you do not have to depend on output of other people's work in order to produce your output. However, once your work becomes collaborative in nature where you have to work together with other individuals to produce a single combined output, EQ can easily become as important as IQ. To go a step further, when you become responsible for output of other people's work, EQ becomes the driver of your results and if you are relying solely on your IQ than much depends on EQ of those around you.” - Ambuj Jain 2. A “Derailer Detector” Assessment http://www.truenorthleadership.com/ 3. Extremely successful support groups for top-level executives: Powerful Stategies for Personal and Leadership Development http://www.truenorthgroups.com/services Best wishes. - Matt --- $132 order(!) 20-1'x2" 10-1'x1" --- packed up desk at 111 Sutter ... and off we go... --- 5:33 out permanently from 111 Sutter. bus 24 N saw bus-car collision on Pine ripped whole back bumper off nice ride, good writting on making a case for why I should WFH next week. --- to Trader Joe's beer, milk, lots of frozen side dishes crackers, 2g sugar/31 crackers! for pkp boxed to keep 'em kinda cold 7:32 gotta get outta here in a half-hour, to make it to CostCo by 8:30 --- Security Essentials virus scan is STILL running, 12 hours later, about 2/3 done gotta shut down laptop so letting it run but collecting links. here goes... LI-EIN, first 12/11 12 Tips for Handling difficult conversations, Bruna Martinuzzi http://www.openforum.com/articles/top-ten-tips-for-handling-the-difficult-conversation/?goback=.gde_1839684_member_226170468 Enhancing business performance through Emotional Intelligence http://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2013-03-03/news/enhancing-business-performance-through-emotional-intelligence-1024294933/ Les Potton Chartered FCIPD ACII • Hi Jeanette I dont think you can give an absolute answer to that question as the words "too empathic" will have different meanings to different people. You cant be "too empathic" inside, but how you express that empathy could be received in a positive or negative way depending on the recipients views, values etc. Consequently, those who express it badly or wrongly (in the eyes of another) could be creating a negative for the organisation. Those who are emotionally intelligent and express their empathy in a way that is received positively, will be of value to the business. A practical example of where it could go wrong is where an internally empathic person expresses that empathy unintentionally in a way that is received as patronising. Some people dont like unsolicited sympathy, empathy or help unless they ask for it. Develop your EQ http://americanlibrariesmagazine.org/columns/outsidein/develop-your-emotional-intelligence Authenticity http://authenticity-marc.blogspot.com.es/2013/03/management-and-indifference.html Leadership: What's Love Got to Do With It? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jan-birchfield-phd/leadership-whats-love-got_1_b_2962891.html Why It’s Hard To Change and How To Fix That. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/why-your-old-dog-business-cant-learn-anything-new 5 Ways To Get Up When You Feel Down http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/5-ways-to-get-up-when-you-feel-down Emotional Intelligence is finally gaining traction in Australia - and not before time. http://www.ibsbiz.net.au/Bens%20Thought%20of%20the%20Week.html Interesting Paradoxes of Being Happy(!) http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2013/03/happiness-paradoxes.html ---------- mcp ---------- (again! Prob. the best news of the year re: EQ!!) EQ/SEL Meta-Analysis http://olgarythm.blogspot.com/2013/03/happiness-paradoxes.html PDF http://casel.org/wp-content/uploads/Meta-Analysis-Child-Development-Full-Article1.pdf 10 Things Reality TV Taught Me About Leadership http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2013/03/25/10-things-my-reality-tv-experience-taught-me-about-people-and-leadership/ Surprise Negativity Buster: Rituals http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/surprise-negativity-buster-rituals.html Workplace Bullying and Disruptive Behavior http://www.murphyleadership.com/blog/bid/277699/?utm_campaign=bullying%2520at%2520work&utm_source=linkedin&utm_medium=social&utm_content=b99ae09d-6a9d-48c0-8281-0c95240ed1b1 The Secret To Unlikely Success. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/the-secret-to-unlikely-success Oprah's Next Chapter http://www.oprah.com/own-oprahs-next-chapter/oprahs-next-chapter.html 8:06 go! CostCo 2 Bag DV ($28/ea), some guac, a new shirt for pkp, and a dog. --- 3.29 AM/PM $3.83/ Willits AM/PM is the dirties and most broken pumps/bathrooms, etc. of any of their stores... pity. 02:22 nap past half-way on 20 did good drivin'... almost made it w/o a nap. 04:?? got home, napped for 2x in car outside my office unload food stuffs another nap on coach --- 07:30 here (office) - yay! best internet anywhere (even IMS) is here! --- , Orders see labels for 5-pounders plus 2 Canada orders (in new tubes?) and the many new orders! Crystal Southerly S, x Nora, no order --- Yael Stark You are running a huge group and this is why I am asking you the following questiin- I know for a fact that thete is a lady ( and perhaps more) on our group that has blocked me. On one hand I am glad she is getting good info but on the other I question it all as she doesnt get my posts-not my pics or my positive messages or even my comments. I could not send her the survey. My question to you, as I can not see what she is posting- shall I delete her from the group? Today 7:35am Matt Perelstein Good Q, Yael. a. Is she being yucky? It's your group, and you can have you want in there. (I had a disruptive 'friend', who I kept for years (she really was a friend, but a negative one)... once I finally got rid of her recently, EVERYONE benefitted (esp. me, as I felt unsafe with her there). b. You can't see her posts... in your group?!? I didn't know FB would do that. Perhaps ask a friend (me?) what/if she's posting, and whether it's yucky or not. c. Did I mention that it's YOUR group?!? (btw, it's a very cool group, imho!) hth. GLWIA (good luck with it all!) --- 07:48 FB-THAHBH Matt Perelstein Yes, great video, and love the concept! Here's another big point I heard from this talk... Patients need to help, don't just 'turn it over ' to healthcare providers! The doctor guides, but the patient's gotta do most of the healing work internally... whether mind, heart or body! Let's take responsibility and ownership of ourselves, our health, our heart and our mind! --- "Energy and persistence conquer all things.” - Benjamin Franklin --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Yes Matt, violence, crime and war, are all man-made. And EQ - perhaps more than even non-violence - can prevent these. But the world has gotten into a strange form of civilization where money and wealth define a person's standing and acceptance in his community and a country's power on this planet.. "Money" which started as a medium to simplify barter and to make human activity and output more efficient, has become the end of most - if not all - human endeavor. And leaders of every modern nation are busy propogating and strengthening the influence of money on their subjects by using very innnovative laws and economic plans which get translated into even more innovative policies, strategies, plans, services, products and sales targets in companies. I do hope that the message of EQ reaches the leaders of businesses and economies so that they start thinking of EQ as a tool for maintainng law,order, peace, justice, equality and liberty with the aim of bringing happiness - as distinct from wealth and it's distribution - to their subjects. This I strongly beleive is the destiny of civilization on this planet. By Ambuj Jain --- Ambition is about propelling yourself forward on your own merits, rather than trampling over others to get to the prize. Maybe a new word for ambition is talented. Ambition suggests the capacity for duplicity, whereas talented infers that you excel in what you do. - Ariel Leve The man who speaks the truth is always at ease. - Persian proverb --- 08:19 PR called re: Easter Josh is coming to help with Eucs --- (Sheri Persons) So glad you're doing well, Sheri! Congrats on the new biz... bold move... good for you! and BIG congrats on the Grandbaby and having the kids around (I LOVE kiddos). You sound like you have very nice energy, so yay. Yes, we're still doing group in Fresno (next class is May 17). I just sent you a friend request on Facebook, and we have a (private) ND emotional support group there, which I'll add you to, if you'd like. New and exciting (to me, anywayz) are the 3 TV shows we have now taped and were aired (a lot), plus a radio interview I did last week. EQ-101.1: http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31) EQ-101.2: http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, 3.7.2013) EQ-101.3: http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, 3.21.2013) Let's stay in touch! L8r t8r. - Matt --- >> add other NDers as friends on FB --- Terri L McCauley 8:10am Mar 29 I was feeling depressed the other day. Instead of viewing it as negative I used the nd statement and totally embraced the feeling. My bodies way of telling me to rest from the worry. I know that it is now time to get angry. But I am struggling with what to get angry about without feeling like a victim. --- SNAFU = Situation normal, all f'd up --- “Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.” - Barbara Jordan --- 1:54 Hi Jim and Shruti, I would like to request that I WFH next week: a. My wife has an urgent need to go to Sacramento next week to be with her mom who has advanced stage Parkinson's. b. There's a fair amount of work to do yet on the IMM forms and reports (and standardizing the KPI data attached to measures... but that's another discussion), so this seems like the perfect time for me to make IMM into an excellent tool. Jim, we discussed how to 'beautify' the two CSV reports, and I have to say that I believe the best way to accomplish this is by using OLE, having Access manage Excel. As I'm sure you're aware, once we create a reference to the Excel object library, it exposes the entire object model, so I can pretty much do anything from Access that can be done in Excel (and I've done it before, for Parks and Rec). I suggest: the data gets generated in a temp table, then we open a new Excel workbook, load the data, then beautify it (color/size/bold/merge/whatever), then name it properly (may vary by report content), and ask the user where they want it saved, all in one shot. If we use a template or macro, the user will have to manage a separate file, then there's document version control, managing the path, Excel versioning, etc. Also, we'll need another CSV report for Concepts, which will be similar but the data comes from different tables, so we'll probably need 2 separate reporting functions for this. c. It's my birthday (on friday). d. Since our new seating arrangement has me RIGHT in front of poor Shruti, with her facing me, I simply must get my hair done! :) Shruti, you mentioned starting Set Tree training, and I'd be happy to join in, and get going on any required assignments. Would that be ok? Thanks. - Matt (no answer) --- 2-4:45 orders with Josh Linebaugh quad, sawing, leaves, big orders, go. 4:59 USPS. with 2 canada-bound 05:15 sorry, I'm checking into it. I'll get back to you today, Nora. Either it was shipped out last Monday, or if I missed it completely, I'll ship it out this Monday. sorry for the hassle. Thanks for being kind about it. - Matt --- 05:15 Effective leaders are good at: learning strategy creativity goals time emotions motivation change communication responsibility http://createsend.com/t/r-0ABD2F9E461A090A2540EF23F30FEDED --- LI-EIN 10/6 “The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts.” - Bertrand Russell (English Logician and Philosopher 1872-1970) “There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.” - Arnold Bennett (British novelist, playwright, critic, and essayist, 1867-1931) - to Catherine Puglisi Hi Catherine, You asked, Can't we have our comments posted in "real time" and we have our group "deciders" DELETE as needed? Answer: No, we're not willing to do that. With almost 45,000 members, it's working very well the way it is, and we're not gonna mess with it. It may take hours, but I personally guarantee that it never takes days. Thanks for your last 2 quotes... those are good ones! take care. - Matt --- 05:29 sorry, I'm checking into it. I'll get back to you today, Nora. (Elizabeth) Either it was shipped out last Monday, or if I missed it completely, I'll ship it out this Monday. sorry for the hassle. Thanks for being kind about it. - Matt --- PP = 3472 -177 USPS, FB -166 Lenscrafters, SF -36 SRPD, SRosa -68 Trader Joe's, SR -26 pizza orgasmica, SR - new shipping/tax rates on EucProducts http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sales_and_use_taxes_in_California At 7.50%, California has the highest minimum state sales tax in the United States, which can total up to 10.00% with local sales tax included.[1] Partly this rate compensates for the much reduced property tax revenue brought on by Proposition 13. Sales and use taxes in the state of California are collected by the publicly elected Board of Equalization, whereas income and franchise taxes are collected by the Franchise Tax Board. The statewide 7.50% is allocated as:[2] 7.50% - State + Local 6.50% - State 5.00% - State - General Fund 0.25% - State - Fiscal Recovery Fund 0.50% - State - Local Revenue Fund 0.50% - State - Local Public Safety Fund 0.25% - State - Education Protection Account (Prop 30) 1.00% - Uniform Local Tax 0.25% - Local County - Transportation funds 0.75% - Local City/County - Operational funds - Sales Tax Create multiple sales tax rates, specified by region that are applied to all payments you receive. You may define a separate sales tax rate for each of the 50 U.S.states, provinces, territories, or for your country. Set Up Domestic Sales Tax Rates Domestic tax rates apply to orders processed within your country of residence. State/Zip Code Tax Rate Apply Tax to Shipping ? Status California 7.500% No Active - View International Shipping Method Air Service (Active) Currency and Shipping Region: Currency:U.S. Dollar Canada Region:Alberta, Nunavut, Northwest Territories, Newfoundland, Ontario, Manitoba, Quebec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, British Columbia, Yukon, Prince Edward Island, Saskatchewan, Canada Override shipping methods per transaction:Off Shipping Method(s): Based On:Weight Shipping Method:Air Service Select delivery time:2-5 business days Shipping Rates: From(Lbs) To(Lbs) Rate(USD) 0.01 0.99 7.00 1.00 1.99 11.00 2.00 3.99 15.00 4.00 and up 35.00(!) - View Domestic Shipping Method Priority (Active) Currency and Shipping Region: Currency:U.S. Dollar Region:All States and Territories Override shipping methods per transaction:Off Shipping Method(s): Based On:Amount Shipping Method: Priority Select delivery time: 2-3 business days Shipping Rates: From(USD) To(USD) Rate(USD) 0.01 12.95 7.00 12.96 19.95 11.00 19.96 29.95 14.00 29.96 49.95 24.00 49.96 and up 33.00 View International Shipping Method Air Service (Active) Currency and Shipping Region: Currency:U.S. Dollar Region:Comoros, Poland, Cyprus, Vietnam, Malawi, Antarctica, Italy, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Gambia, Tonga, Swaziland, Chile, Ireland, Turkey, Malaysia, Togo, Tokelau, Burkina Faso, Nauru, Bouvet Island, Albania, Russia, Argentina, Hong Kong, Benin, New Caledonia, Virgin Islands (British), Jamaica, Vatican City State, Serbia, Monaco, Bahrain, Bangladesh, India, Panama, Peru, Belgium, Sudan, Andorra, Iran, Romania, Uganda, Dominica, Bahamas, Saint Kitts and Nevis Anguilla, Angola, Luxembourg, Vanuatu, Isle of Man, Namibia, United Arab Emirates, Montenegro, US Minor Outlying Islands, Åland Islands, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Spain, Cameroon, Tunisia, Seychelles, Saint Vincent and Grenadines, Zimbabwe, Liberia, Maldives, Niue, Saudi Arabia, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Finland, St. Helena, Eritrea, Syria, Portugal, Palestine, Samoa, Antigua and Barbuda, Ecuador, Tanzania, Hungary, Bolivia, São Tomé and Príncipe, Guatemala, Mauritius, Gibraltar, North Korea, Armenia, Brunei, Suriname, Rwanda, Sweden, Azerbaijan Republic, Lithuania, Oman, Marshall Islands, Gabon Republic, Cote D'Ivoire, Greenland, Ukraine, Guinea, Bulgaria, Georgia, Yugoslavia, Iraq, Faroe Islands, Somalia, Montserrat, Turkmenistan, South Georgia and The South Sandwich Islands, Libya, Kuwait, Cocos Islands, Tajikistan, Cuba, Equatorial Guinea, Norway, Netherlands Antilles, Ethiopia, Philippines, Indonesia, Brazil, Mauritania, Guam, Trinidad and Tobago, Timor-Leste, Pakistan, Madagascar, Uruguay, Guernsey, Costa Rica, Germany, Kazakhstan, American Samoa, Cambodia, Papua New Guinea, Guyana, Wallis and Futuna Islands, Puerto Rico, Republic of the Congo, Slovenia, Denmark, Colombia, Heard and McDonald Islands, Macedonia, Norfolk Island, Uzbekistan, Haiti, Afghanistan, Grenada, Pitcairn Islands, Dominican Republic, Paraguay, Lebanon, Botswana, Bhutan, United States, Mongolia, Tuvalu, Taiwan, Guinea Bissau, Saint Pierre and Miquelon, Jersey, Djibouti, South Korea, Slovakia, British Indian Ocean Territory, Thailand, Cook Islands, Yemen, Fiji, Aruba, France, China, Western Sahara, Palau, Christmas Island, Greece, Turks and Caicos Islands, Belarus, Northern Mariana Islands, Japan, Czech Republic, Micronesia, Senegal, Svalbard and Jan Mayen Islands, Qatar, Solomon Islands, Singapore, Croatia, Australia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Cayman Islands, Venezuela, French Southern and Antarctic Lands, El Salvador, Netherlands, Kyrgyzstan, Honduras, Kenya, Nicaragua, Algeria, Austria, Reunion, Anguilla, Barbados, Morocco, Israel, Niger, Zambia, French Polynesia, San Marino, Burundi, Jordan, Cape Verde, South Africa, Bermuda, Moldova, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, Mali, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Laos, Chad, French Guiana, Mozambique, Macau, Serbia and Montenegro, Lesotho, East Timor, Latvia, Mayotte, Iceland, Myanmar, Guadeloupe, Malta, Estonia, Central African Republic, Virgin Islands (U.S.), Martinique, Kiribati, Nepal, Belize, Falkland Islands, St. Lucia, Mexico, Egypt Override shipping methods per transaction:Off Shipping Method(s): Based On:Weight Shipping Method:Air Service Select delivery time:Custom From5Days To10Days Shipping Rates: From(Lbs) To(Lbs) Rate(USD) 0.01 0.99 12.00 1.00 1.99 24.00 2.00 2.99 36.00 3.00 3.99 48.00 4.00 and up 60.00 --- 05:40ish system locked up completely... had to hard re-boot. --- 06:30 I think people hurt and you should either let them or do something to alleviate the emotional pain. Some advice that I have had in the past is to be strict with yourself and tolerant with others. In other words try to let others be who they will be and try to maximize your behavior to yours and others advantage. Not that you should be too hard on yourself as well, just that you should be self observant or a good self monitor. By Wes Urry --- 06:50 Gwen, ole buddy, ole pal... we need to fix/change a few things... I just sent 2 orders to Canada yesterday 1 was a 1B - $35 postage the other a 2B, 2' - $37 postage and last week, one to the UK 4B - $67 postage! so I lost $ on all 3. Turns out that any box over 4 lbs or over 2' must to use Priority Shipping, which is way expensive...and that includes Canada. It seems to work better if the US Shipping rates are by order $, while the Int'l rates are by weight. sooo, if you would be so kind... on the page:http://www.eucproducts.com/order%20info.html (can you rename that page so it doesn't have a space, please... just orders.html would be easy for me to remember... no spaces in page/filenames, please, ever.) US Shipping Rates - By Amount of Order ($) From To Postage Order Size $0.01 12.95 7.00 1/2lb order $12.96 19.95 11.00 1 lb order $19.96 29.95 14.00 2 lb order $29.96 49.95 24.00 5 lb order $49.96 and up 33.00 >5 lb order Canada Shipping Rates - By Shipping Weight (lbs, pounds) Min Weight Max Weight Postage Order Size 0.01 0.99 7.00 1/2lb order 1 1.99 11.00 1 lb order 2 3.99 15.00 2 lb order 4 and up 35.00 5 lb order+ International Shipping Rates - By Shipping Weight (lbs, pounds) Min Weight Max Weight Postage Order Size 0.01 0.99 12.00 1/2lb order 1.00 1.99 24.00 1 lb order 2.00 2.99 36.00 2 lb order 3.00 3.99 48.00 5 lb order 4.00 and up 60.00 >5 lb order Note: See how US & Canada Shipping Rates is underlined, and see how it that makes it look like a link but it's not... let's not use underlines, anywhere, unless they're a link, ok? Add: By California law, state sales tax (7.5%) must be added to each order (except the postage). Also, please change: 2. Call us any time and we'll take the order, or answer any questions, over the phone. We can also give our home address so you can send a check or money order. 707-962-9006 to: 2. Call us any time (PST, California time) and we'll take your order or answer any questions over the phone (yes, we're real humans). 916-599-8597 replace: All orders are shipped via US Post Office Priority Mail, 2-3 day delivery (at least that's what they advertise). Unfortunately, the US Post Office doesn't do package tracking but their service has been excellent, they provide perfectly-sized boxes and we like to support our US Government. Shipping to Canada is fine, at no extra charge (though it costs a few extra bucks and takes a few extra days). However, PayPal doesn't calculate shipping fees to Canada, so here's a work-around. Just note the price of what you wanted to order, then go to your PayPal account and choose to send the funds to our PayPal account (matt@2gethelp.com). Sorry for the hassle... write or call with any questions or concerns. with: US orders are shipped via US Post Office Priority Mail, 2-3 day delivery (at least that's what they advertise). Beginning in Jan, 2013, the US Post Office now does package tracking everytime, at no additional charge (Yay!). The receipts Their service has been excellent, they provide wonderful, quality boxes and I/we like to support our US Government! If you want to track your order, let me know your zip, and I'll look it up on the receipt. Shipping to Canada is fine and it's (surprisingly) mostly the same rates as the US. The rates take a jump to Priority Mail at 4 lbs or 2-feet, so plan accordingly. I have been given a Certificate of Origin document by the Canadian Government that we attach to the box, and as far as I know, we haven't had any problems with customs lately. We're happy to ship to any other country, but know that it takes awhile, so your leaves will be a little drier. We bag the leaves as tightly as we can, and wrap the branches in stretch-wrap, to help preserve them. We ship every Monday At the present time, I am working in the heart of downtown San Francisco, 200 miles from home, so I'm away 5 days a week (Fort Bragg is BEAUTIFUL, but there isn't much work here). So every Sunday, my granddaughters (and sometimes their friends) and I take the quad and saws and go 'Euc hunting' (and the doggies love to run with). We cut and pack your orders in the back of the garage, then stack 'em in the back seat of my Rav4. Monday mornings, on my way to SF, I stop by the one of the smallest Post Offices I've seen (Philo, CA) to deluge them with white, sweet-smelling boxes. The USPS workers tend to be super-nice in small-town USA, so don't be surprised if your shipping label shows Philo, CA or Boonville, CA, or Cloverdale, CA. Twenceforth, you should get your order on Wednesday or Thursday, Friday at the latest. If you don't get it by Friday, let me know and we'll track it (again, yay!). one more.. Change my phone number at the bottom to: 916-599-8597 Thanks, Gwenski! You're a gem. (the new job sounds awesome! totally creative, plus you get to HELP people, and watch 'em smile, right to your face... instant gratification... how nice, ey?! Good for you!) - Matt --- snooooooooze in my chair................. --- 07:58 Subject: Mailing List Database information From: Liz Hickok Date: Fri, March 29, 2013 4:15 pm To: rachel.perelstein@gmail.com, matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Carrie Lederer , Michele Theberge Hi Rachel and Matt- So sorry for the delayed email. I was away and am taking a while to get back into gear. But we are all thrilled that you are able to help us get our new mailing list database up and running, Rachel. Sorry this email is so long- it's actually not that complicated. But of course questions are welcome. Any of the three of us should be able to help clarify. Here is the scoop: We have a bunch of files on a google site. These are lists that the three of us have all compiled over the years of our Art World contacts. They are all different, and use different categories. Our goal (with your help) is to merge them together in one new, more efficient file, and so we can all share each other's information. You can download our files from there and upload any you've updated. If this is not convenient, we could start a Drop Box folder or share Google Docs, but it has been working well so far. But we're flexible and open to suggestions. To access the site go to: https://sites.google.com/site/clmnewprojects/files I just uploaded a file called "master-database-categories_03_13.xls". This files includes all of the categories we would like to include in our database. There will be a lot of blanks in the fields. For example, we won't all have phone numbers or email addresses for each entry, and that is ok. It will at least be a start. I also imagine that you won't know how to fill in some of the categories, so I am going to try to explain some of them below. If you don't know, just leave it blank, and we can do it. I'm also attaching a file here to help you see how I started to use these new categories. Last month I started gathering the names and info for local galleries and I used a version of the master database to capture the info. You will see how a lot of the sections are blank, either because I didn't know the info, or was too lazy to enter it in. After I've added a bit more info, I'll upload this file to the site as well and it can be one of the documents you integrate into the database. Note, I used highlighting as a way to mark which info might need to get updated (i.e., rather than having a generic email address for the gallery, I'd rather have a direct email). That is formatting you can ignore, but Michele, Carrie and I can discuss if we want to integrate something like that into the master file. First Name- Should be obvious, unless we don't have an actual contact at an institution, but maybe just the name of a gallery, for example… in which case, can be left blank. Last Name - Same as above Title - This is something like "Curator" "director" Assistant curator", etc. If the title isn't in our file, you can leave it blank and we will have someone help us fill that in later. Institution- the name of the company they work for (i.e., San Francisco Museum of Modern Art" Category- This should be a drop down list, including the following categories: large museum, small museum, independent curator, non-profit, commercial gallery, art consultant, University Gallery, University Museum Region- Drop down list: GBA, WEST, NM, SW, NW, MW, EAST, SE - This is so we can sort our lists by geographical area. I'm assuming we (or an assistant) will plug this info in later) GBA is greater Bay Area, West Coast, (I'm not sure what NM is- it was part of my meeting notes- I will confirm), South West, North West, Mid-West, East Coast, South East. (Carrie and Michele: did I leave anything out here?) Contact Guidelines- I don't think there will be anything in our files for this yet. It will be a field for us to fill in later as we learn how to submit our info to these institutions. For example, in my example file I've attached, under Chandra Cerrito, I note that once can apply through her website. CL notes- If there are any "notes" fields in in our documents, include them in our appropriate column. CL is Carrie, MT is Michele, and LH is Liz. For example, in my example file I made a note that I sent some of the people postcards with a note. If there are no notes fields, this can be left blank. LH notes Same as above MT notes Same as above Email - Phone- Address 1 Address 2 City State or Province Postal Code Country Date Added- If there is a date included in our records, include that. Otherwise, maybe just add in the date the file was last updated. Who Originated - Drop Down menu with CL, MT, LH (whoever's mailing list the entry came from) Date Modified - this can be left blank for now, until we change something in the future Date Voided & Why - this is for when an entry is no longer valid, and can mark why- for example, the person moved. To be left blank for now. Media- (Drop-Down list) Photography, Painting, Craft, Installation, Public Art, Drawing, Conceptual, Film/Video. We can fill this in ourselves if it is not obvious or already in our files. Press Specialty: (Not a drop-down list- just notes) art writer, critic, calendar editor, assignment editor, architecture, home/garden, people profiles, edgy. I imagine there aren't any of our documents that have this yet, but we will add it later. Thanks so much. Please let us know your questions. -Liz (510)499-9465 --- A man was sitting on a blanket at the ocean beach. He had no arms & no legs. Three women, the first from England, the second from Wales and the third from Ireland, were walking past the poor man feeling sorry for him. The English woman said: "Have you ever had a hug?" he said "No," so she gave him a nice warm hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" he said, "No," so she gave him a gentle kiss and walked on. The Irish woman came to him and said: "Av ya ever been fooked before, Laddie?” The man broke into a big smile and said, "No I haven't." She said, "Aye Lad, ya will be when the tide comes in." --- Monday, 5pm North Coast Land at Company Store, 5:30 re: splitting our land, so he can buy some --- FB-ND just went from 196 to 1,166 Likes!!!(!) incl. 119 friends - 10:58 Make the choice to improve your life by learning how to understand, manage, learn from and enjoy your feelings and emotions. Left-brain (IQ), when combined with right-brain (EQ), lets us truly take control of our lives! (pic) Your life doesn't get better by chance, it gets better by Choice! ND is: - A Right-brain Reboot - Virus protection for your heart! - Emotional Bootcamp --- 11:09 Julian Well, the Likes are definitely rolling in -- 1,166x -- you da man! 33 more and you hit 1,000! Are these mostly your friends? Do you know why I didn't get any Notifications about the new Likes (I usually do)? Very cool. You done good, dude! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Facebook Fans Update From: Julian Rifa Date: Tue, March 26, 2013 1:26 pm To: undisclosed-recipients:; Hello, I wanted to give you a quick update on your Facebook fans. FB made some chances last Thursday night (in regards to how fast fans could be added to a fanpage) so I've been doing some testing over the last few days to make sure all is well. Everything looks good and now that the "dust has settled" with these latest changes/updates, I'm going to resume my marketing efforts. I wanted to give you an update and apologize for the delay with your order. Any other time I would have things completed by now, but every now and then something happens that delays the process. In this case I wanted to be 100% sure that all was well before I moved forward. I really appreciate your patience. Please allow me another 2-3 days and you'll see all your fans rolling in. Thanks again, your business is much appreciated. Respectfully, Julian Rifa --- Compassion is the basis of Civilisation. --- My mum taught me the value of money, but also the worth of imagination. - Sarah Morgan --- Your attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Your conscious mind controls feelings, and your body, of course, determines your actions. If you want to take definite charge of your future, study this word attitude. -------------- mcp --------------- Remember you don't have to be sick to get better. Your attitude can always be improved. - Bob Proctor - "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... I would say that the need to be a part of the group in order to survive, is the basis of civilisation Venka. Compassion is more one of the ways we learn to integrate into the group. We need attachment and through compassion we can achieve attachment. As for your response Mary, you do not show cause and effect, I did not say that people will not feel in relation to how we behave, rather I said the cause and effect is not as clear as you propose. My behaviour may be funny to some, hurtful to others, scary to others etc. As may people will 'feel' differently about the same behaviour, it demonstrate that their feelings are not in my control. I did not hurt their feelings, rather they felt hurt by what I have done, said etc. This clarifies the relationship and does not mudy the water so much as suggesting that what you feel is somehow my fault. What I am saying does not mean that I don't need to care about how someone feels, rather it means we need to clarify the boundary between us so we each take responsibility for our own part of the relationship, rather than seeking to blame the ruptures of the relationship on the other. By John Parr - I think alot of this discussion is about "owning our own thoughts and feelings' and taking responsibility for them, our behaviour and its affect on others. I think that is the best that any of us can do. We can not control what anyone else does but we can discuss and apologize if we have inadvertently hurt someone else through making a false assumption,not listening etc. but we need to set our own boundaries for ourselves as well. It is indeed "tricky" and challenging and something we can continue to learn and grow from through experience. By Leslie Nelson --- 11:33 LI-EIN Quotes Your life doesn't get better by chance, it gets better by Choice! --- Good video from security cameras, showing good stuff... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151484191080450&set=vb.690120449&type=2&theater --- Jake on the Ukulele at Google -- damn! Jake Shimabukuro http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gJJ3aDif5A (1:17:32) Bill Cosby, "Himself" (at 18 min) Jimi Hendrix. the music happens before it hits the instrument before I play that chord, or bend that note I need to create it inside of me before I can do it. if talking to one person, or a 1,000 not be afraid of making fun of myself if they laugh, or they stay, that's a bonus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tf1K1P2Skw (1:43:52) The brilliant stand up act, here is Bill Cosby - Himself. Bill talks about various things from the foolishness of drugs, alcohol, having a 'good time', and going to the dentist, before getting to his main topic; himself. From his childhood to his wife, to natural childbirth and his children, this is hilarious, wholesome family entertainment. George Harrison big ukulele advocate! I can make music... brings such Joy! Van Halen's energy play with that kinda energy not nec. physical energy, movement it's the energy that comes from within mental focus not just mechanics so much happens before and after the stroke like a baseball pitcher, windup, pitch, follow-through my toes curl up, in my ankles, up my back, through my shoulders mental focus, thoughts, going with the music everything I have, that I have control of, is focused same conviction, same energy, whether a slow song or fast everything you do must be connected to the music tapping, twitch in face, body conveys the sound --- noon+ MFF Body Text: Thank you for your past attendance at the Mendocino Film Festival. We hope you enjoyed the films presented as much as we did. The Film Festival would like you to also enjoy the benefits of becoming a Member of the Festival. You'll be a part of helping the Festival to thrive. Insiders receive: • An invitation to our Media/Donor event where YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO VIEW TRAILERS OF THE 2013 FILM SELECTIONS. This year the event will be held at the beautiful Stanford Inn. • The opportunity to purchase tickets in advance of the general public. • Invitations to special events including the members-only screening and opening night party. • Acknowledgement on screen prior to every film. • All Access Pass depending on your level of support. • There's more! Find out how to make the most of your Mendocino Film Festival Membership. Click herehttp://www.mendocinofilmfestival.org/friendship.htm Take 8 of the Mendocino Film Festival is May 31 - June 2. See you here! - 1:27 BPT_Allsales_Emails_20130330.xls upload to VR BPT_Allsales_Emails_20130330.csv 377x Set Import Rules In the event that the list you are loading contains records already found within your account, please select your preferred import rules below: First, Last, Email Preserve older data - if a match is found reject the newer record List Upload Results Total records added: 115 Total records updated: 234 Total records rejected: Download CSV 27 • Records which have bounced from a previously sent campaign: 18 • Records which have unsubscribed from a previously sent campaign: 8 • Improperly formatted email addresses: 1 Account Snapshot Total list members in account: 3,250 Total unique mailable email addresses: 2,316 --- 1:41 Hey Danielle... Well, we both missed our Friday deadline for more wording about the EQ 'Movement'! I've been noodling on it (texting you like crazy that one day), and I've started a more coherent 'plan' in the morning. Do you have any more thots on the Movement from your end? Whatcha got going on your show this Monday... did you want to continue our talks on EQ? Last week, we touched on what EQ is and how I got started in it, and some of what's possible. I'd like to have more of a 'training' session some time too, where we give specific steps, pointers & concepts that listeners can put to use right away. - Matt :) or, more right-brain, ~=:^ ) --- new VR list: TicketBuyers_20130330 We found 377 records and 3 fields in your uploaded list. Account Snapshot Total list members in account: 3,250 Total unique mailable email addresses: 2,316 Ok, I made another Mailing List in Vertical Response from the current BPT ticket buyers for the upcoming eblast "Become a MFF Insider". (see attached) New VR list: TicketBuyers_20130330 Total records added: 349 Total records updated: 0 Total records rejected: Download CSV 27 • Records which have bounced from a previously sent campaign: 18 • Records which have unsubscribed from a previously sent campaign: 8 • Improperly formatted email addresses: 1 Sound good? Do I have it straight now? - Matt --- Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. --- HerbanLegend Invoice 2007-2013 Inv_HerbanLegend 20130330.xls --- Elle Jay, Castlewood, CO class in CO? --- CVS, Rite Aid, Safeway no rawhide bones for Bella... she's upset... only the flat ones and the stick ones Easter shopping. (not that fun.... 'cause I was in a grumpy mood) dinner, too straight to bed after 9ish --- 3.31 06:50ish up, brush teeth, pee, dress, office 07:03 "The most secret, sacred wish that lies deep down at the bottom of your heart, the wonderful thing that you hardly dare to look at, or think about - the thing that you would rather die than have anyone else know of, because it seems so far beyond anything that you are, or have at the present time, that you fear that you would be cruelly ridiculed if the mere thought of it were known - that is just the very thing that God is wishing you to do or to be for him. And the birth of that marvelous wish in your soul - the dawning of that secret dream - was the Voice of God himself telling you to arise and come up higher because he has need of you." Emmet Fox - Until you try, you don't know what you can't do. - Henry James (1843 - 1916) Every time you have positive thoughts your brain commands your body to produce happy hormones, which promote health, relaxation and vibrant energy. Good things come about by choice, not chance. - Jim Karas "Yes, there are subjects where reason cannot take us far and we have to accept things on faith. Faith then does not contradict reason but transcends it. Faith is a kind of sixth sense which works in cases which are without the purview of reason." - Gandhi Remember the three C's: Be Cool, Remain Calm and Stay Connected - LI-EIN Quotes Good one, Emily, thanks! ------- mcp ------- I submit these revised 3 C's: - keep Calm - Carry on - stay Connected! - Patrick Lencioni wrote his famous book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." He listed these five pitfalls teams face, 1)Absence of trust, 2)Fear of conflict, 3)Lack of commitment, 4) Avoidance of accountability, and 5) Inattention to results. http://thetrustambassador.com/2013/03/31/seven-traits-of-super-teams%2F&isNonActionable=isNonActionable&urlhash=NWYP For several decades, I have been studying what makes for great teams. I have come up with a list of seven common denominators of great teams. Would you add any other traits to my list? 1. Good Leadership - A team with a poor leader is bound to struggle. 2. A common goal - Teams aligned behind a mutual goal usually perform well. 3. Trust and respect - Trust is the glue that holds a team together in challenging times. 4. Good Communication - The ability to speak the truth without fear is essential. 5. Reinforcement - Mutual encouragement provides greater momentum. 6. Discipline - (don't confuse with punishment) doing things the right way. 7. Balanced accountability - Holding people accountable for good as well as bad. --- 08:00 EucProducts revisions, to Gwen (she did all the ones from yesterday) You're a star -- thanks so much -- well done! The orders page looks good (and thanks for the one-word, no spaces page names)! Now that I'm looking at it, I'm getting picky, so here are a few more, if you don't mind: Remove the rest of the underlines. On every page, change "shipping" to "postage" (I don't charge for 'shipping and handling' like many scammers... the charge ONLY covers the postage that USPS charges) (in fact, maybe we should say that on the orders page). On the Subscriptions page, please add "including postage" next to each price. On the orders page, We Ship Every Monday, the paragraph is being cut off at the bottom (in IE and FF) Include a link to the orders page "Order Info" (or something like that) at the bottom of each sales page (leaves, branches, subscriptions, ...) On the orders page, it says "Payments may be made via Paypal, credit card, check, by phone or by mail." twice (kinda)... please remove the 2nd one, the bold one, and title that paragraph "We offer many ways to make a payment", bold. Remove the words "The receipts" in the "US Orders" paragraph (my bad... started an unfinished thought there) On the Subscriptions page, remove the word "Currently" in "Currently available in..." ... and change "***email me if you need a different size subscription***" to "***email me if you would like a different size or frequency of subscription***" and put a hard-return in front of it, to separate it a bit. I like how you incorporated the "Lbs" into the tables on Canada and International, but I don't think it's as obvious on the US Rates (which are 99% of the orders). Please add the 3rd column to that table to show the Order Size (as below), so it's obvious. You could also put the US Rates by itself, then the Canada and International below it. On the leaves page, it says "Should stay fresh for 3-5 weeks, if bagged and kept refrigerated"... please change to "Should stay fresh for 2-4 weeks, if kept in the refrigerator... or much longer if kept in the freezer" (or something like that) I turned on the option in Paypal to charge the 7.5% tax (I haven't been charging tax and now I owe something like $10,000 in back sales taxes -- not good!). But I got an order yesterday AFTER turning that on, and there was no tax included :( ... not sure what to do about that... any ideas? (I just tried it and it DID add sales tax... so maybe it's fine... I hope) On the home page, where it says "My gliders love 'em!", please add 2 or 3 more quotes, in quotes, in bold italics like you did, especially one about birds, too. (I have a bunch more testimonials to send you, and some pics, when you're ready for 'em) I'd sure like to replace the vid on the home page, as it's so dark. And the glider is semi-interested in the Eucs.. but only when the hand pushes it toward him. Suggestions? So glad your job is going well. Sounds like a good one! Thanks again. - Matt --- 08:23 Nora, the USPS tracking said they tried to deliver your package on March 27th ... Addressee Unknown. Here's where I sent it... Nora Asbury 11 Gaviota Santa Fe, NM 87508 Whatchathink? - Matt --- 09:15 I think it looks great with the large photo at the bottom, Great work Matt. Push the button. Cheers, Happy Easter A On Mar 31, 2013, at 9:15 AM, wrote: Sorry, but VR was being weird and I could NOT figure out how to keep the top and bottoms from making some big spacing (spent an hour yesterday and another today JUST on this prob) So I finally added an image at the bottom... and that did it. (if I knew HTML better, I'm sure I could fix it correctly, but this was the best solution I could think of) Let me know if you want a different image, but it seems it needs something there to keep it aligned correctly. - Matt - MFF eblast, take 2 Become a Mendocino Film Festival Insider Thank you for your past attendance at the Mendocino Film Festival. We hope you enjoyed the films presented as much as we did. The Film Festival would like you to also enjoy the benefits of becoming a Member of the Festival. You'll be a part of helping the Festival to thrive. Insiders receive: • An invitation to our Media/Donor event where YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO VIEW TRAILERS OF THE 2013 FILM SELECTIONS. This year the event will be held at the beautiful Stanford Inn. • The opportunity to purchase tickets in advance of the general public. • Invitations to special events including the members-only screening and opening night party. • Acknowledgement on screen prior to every film. • All Access Pass depending on your level of support. • There's more! Find out how to make the most of your Mendocino Film Festival Membership. Click here! Take 8 of the Mendocino Film Festival is May 31 - June 2. See you here! http://cts.vresp.com/c/?MendocinoFilmFestiva/d6d172d125/TEST/f897879a1d/utm_content=mschorg@mcn.org&utm_source=VerticalResponse&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=Click%20here%21&utm_campaign=Become%20a%20Mendocino%20Film%20Festival%20Insider --- 09:40 info@2gethelp.com / 2gh Google Adwords Feel better fast Blast thru limiting beliefs, Release old anger, pain and guilt www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Fort Bragg (916) 599-8597 Customer ID: 342-387-2875 info@2gethelp.com Billing ID 1356-4050-5012 $1.67/day on PP MC --- "Let your imagination be the tour guide of your life!" - Bill Walsh --- 10:43 PP = 3478 --- Danielle much of the morning... (see ~mcp_EQMovement.txt) --- 2 GET HELP INCORPORATED started: 2010 >> GuideStar: http://www.guidestar.org/organizations/26-2421584/2-get-help-incorporated.aspx --- breakfast sweep, mop and wax kitchen, entry way floor - 1:17 Jake doing Bohemiam Rhapsody at TED2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=PB3RbO7updc --- Michael Winslow, amazing ability to make sounds with his mouth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVzEB_CJLNY The History of the Typewriter --- 1:44 maybe I could change ------------- mcp ------------ to just --- mcp --- since I only search for --- mcp so that could be it... but not very exciting, so I think I'll leave it, and see how I feel about it as I go. --- the time thing just gets me, over and over again. --- 2:02 Steve Nolan "At the end of the episode Criminal Minds, they were talking about services available for veterans to deal with trauma. They specifically mentioned New Directions." Seriously cool eh? It was about a Viet Nam vet who Rossi's character served under while he was in the Marines. The guy was his Sarge and became homeless. Rossi took him to a shelter and how now there are services outside the military that help with re-integration for vets. 2:07 2-3 weeks ago Criminal Minds serial killers Rossi, Criminal Minds is unavailable to stream season 8, episode 4, 5(no), 6 (they're on 10, but they're often behind) www.ixquick.com, no ads, faster searches http://www.newdirectionsinc.org/ New Directions has provided comprehensive services to thousands of veterans in Los Angeles County. Los Angeles has the largest population of homeless military veterans in the nation. The V.A. estimates that more than 8,000 homeless veterans live on our streets, accounting for eleven percent (11%) of all homeless veterans nationwide. Many of these men and women suffer from Co-Occurring Disorders, including substance abuse, mental illness and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as chronic medical problems. Since 1992, New Directions has provided comprehensive services to thousands of veterans in Los Angeles County. More than 600 men and women seek assistance from the agency each year. As many as 220 veterans can receive round-the-clock care at our five different residential treatment centers. The agency is also developing a 147-unit supportive housing facility for homeless and disabled veterans. - Our therapeutic community helps veterans with everything from substance abuse recovery to family reunification to benefit advocacy. New Directions, Inc., a licensed, long-term drug and alcohol treatment program founded by formerly homeless veterans, has provided food, shelter, support and rehabilitation to clients since 1992. The agency provides services to more than 600 veterans each year through its outreach program and at five different residential treatment centers: The 156-bed Veteran Opportunity Center (VOC) includes a program for veterans with both a substance abuse disorder and a mental illness. 24-bed emergency shelter and detoxification center The 50-person capacity Veteran Opportunity Center North program for veterans with both substance abuse disorders and mental illness The New Directions Oasis for Veteran Women consisting of Keaveney House and Mitchell House, providing residential care to female veterans. Chris's Place, New Directions' transitional residence for returning veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF). New Directions' "therapeutic community" promotes a strong work ethic, skills-learning, personal accountability, economic self-reliance, family responsibility, community involvement, and good citizenship. Sobriety, long-term recovery, and employment are the basis for client stability and permanent housing. New Directions offers: Substance Abuse Rehabilitation In Phase I, during their first 6 months, residents first undergo detoxification, then intensive substance abuse treatment, professional group and individual counseling, and supervised medication. -------------- mcp ----------- In Phase II, residents continue their recovery from drugs and alcohol, and strengthen their skills in preparation for employment. Parenting, anger management, and communication skills are also stressed. Remedial Education Every Phase I resident at the Veteran Opportunity Center (VOC) receives an assessment of educational abilities by an on-site Los Angeles Unified School District Adult Basic Education (ABE) instructor. A Test for Adult Basic Education measures language arts and math skills. Students with grade equivalencies of 8th grade or below receive classes and tutoring. Vocational Assessment and Training In Phase II, residents’ vocational skills are assessed and a plan is developed. All residents receive computer training. New Directions offers job training in culinary arts, construction management, customer service, computer applications, and Human Services. Participants meet with New Directions’ vocational staff for interview preparation and job search guidance. After participants obtain employment, they remain at New Directions for an additional 3-6 months to save money for first and last month’s rent. Legal Services Participants receive legal services and representation necessary to obtain jobs and to retain them. As homeless veterans with substance abuse problems, many residents have fallen far behind in their child support payments. Because wage garnishment can effectively remove any income, New Directions’ attorney meets with the assistant district attorney who enforces child support laws, and explains the veteran’s predicament. Together, they try to stipulate to an affordable payment plan so the veteran can make payments. New Directions’ attorney helps resolve outstanding warrants and other legal problems that might hamper a resident’s ability to obtain employment. Housing Placement Assistance Participants receive help finding permanent housing appropriate for their needs, enabling staff to more easily stay in touch. New Directions maintains an active search for housing of all kinds; works with appropriate housing authorities to find subsidized, affordable, and other specialized housing; helps residents complete rental and credit applications; and places clients in an appropriate homes. Operation Welcome Home New Directions' newest program offers outpatient services and support as well as transitional housing to veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF). Services include: Veteran Benefits Advocacy Family Reunification Support Separation/Transition Assistance Help with Legal Issues Counseling and Therapy Substance Abuse Management Mental Health Support Transitional housing for OEF/OIF veterans is provided at Chris's Place, a six-bedroom residence in the Del Rey area of West Los Angeles. Aftercare Even after participants leave, New Directions maintains regular communication with them to improve their chances of continued recovery and employment ("Aftercare"). Participants are asked to attend weekly Aftercare meetings for a minimum of 90 days and to join the New Directions Alumni group for at least a year. Alumni participation enables New Directions to gather long-term data on graduates, honor their achievements in sobriety and employment, assist them in adapting to the work environment, provide additional job market resources, identify warning signs of substance abuse relapse, and provide intervention. To access the Last House on the Block, NDI's social networking site for alumni, click here. original marriage was a symbol of servitude to the man only women wore rings love, honor and obey Fiji - no original thot, don't ask a question "we have to" still enslaved to husband can stone her if she doesn't do what she is told they were looking around to see if they were doing something wrong, just standing there "Reality is what you get used to." Bones (tv) smithsonian, infestigation Muslim "my entire religion was hijacked" not Muslim, psychos Judiasm, Islam and Christianity all came from same book! old testament why would someone blow themselves up? to get into heaven? even as collatoral damage I believe, as much as you do, as Peace toward all men we're absolutely alike what's the message IQ no one wants to harm another we taught to do that EQ, natural is that peace and connection, unity there's were 1 original homosapien couple: Adam1 and Eve1 Taught to Hate is a learned behaviour everyone wants to be part of the whole from the time we look for things that separate us, not bring us together we are taught to do that look for the good AND look for the nurturing in others and provide it ourselves we are taught to fear people who think dif. if we were taught to look for the good in people, everyone causes commont traits sense of belonging taught fear in noises, falling, suckling if it can be learned, it can be changed (not unlearned, but changed)! CABT (R10) D-R globally lessons from the womb matronomic, invites them to speak born thinking I shouldn't be alive, suicidal, depressive North Korea: speakers, born hating the US can kill Americans, and not have to feel bad about it even military South Korea, all they want is live peacefully overcome programming visit with family let go of hate and fear and anger all desire a sense of Belonging everybody, even the wierd ones, want to fit in, somehow That's EQ right there. we need to get out you may not THink you fit in, but you do. spoken abuse is the most hedius. what you're fed, from the time you're conceived be the person our clean soul is layers of crap and muck on top of it get to the pure gold soul at the base ben fearless, and true to themselves. then you get to CHOOSE from this point on. the past is concrete, it's set the present is firming up, it can be changed it's liquid, you can write whatever you want in that concrete! YWCA course of self-esteem collecting everything understand self, then get respect know lots of stuff PMA Debs, pagan, and her boss, who's a muslim , send to Cheryl Love starts with self-love Empathy starts with self-empathy If you can connect with your own inner child (and/or your higher power), you never feel alone, again. -------- mcp -------- D-R if we can help people heal, they can connect if they can connect, they will. if they will connect, they will feel they belong and be nicer and more socially conscious. About: In one powerful immersion weekend, learn how to heal your past, fully experience the present, and together, build the best possible future we can create! In one powerful EQ immersion weekend, learn to heal your painful past, live fully in the present and build the best future we can, together! Name: New Directions Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Feel-it-to-heal-it Weekend Intensive New Directions Emotional Intelligence Healing Intensive Description: (old) "I have Personal Power" "I am THROUGH being the Victim" "I always have choices. I choose ME, and I choose to FEEL ALIVE!" "Get IN, Get it OUT, and Get ON" 3 Steps to Dealing with Feelings 1. Awareness - always the first key to change 2. Acceptance - embrace your feelings and live an happy(er), love-filled life... deny 'em, and your destined for pain and disappointment. 3. Action - we are responsible for our own choices, behaviours, attitudes and belief systems and we can create our lives and relationships so they work for all involved. Description: Discover a whole new world inside your own heart and mind -- the last great adventure on earth is the journey inside ourselves! You've been taught IQ in schools -- the left-brain logic and knowledge needed to get a job -- but we can have very high IQ and have happiness, success or love in our life. What's missing is the power and passion of the right-brain (EQ) -- the creativity, intuition and joy that allows us to connect deeply with ourselves and others, understand and master success and lifeskills principles and techniques, in a place where we can all grow together... so we never feel alone, again! Thru a series of powerful, time-tested individual and group exercises, we can help you heal your heart and emotions -- to Release-Replace-Rejoice old pain, anger and grief from your past -- to start anew; refreshed, rejuvinated, relaxed and hungry for more -- more joy, more love, more life! General Info: In a small group environment, we start by teaching the cognitive left-brain how right-brain EQ works, so it can understand, feel safe and give the right-brain permission to proceed. Then, we delve into the right-brain -- to discover, and release some of the pain and anger from our past, by allowing our inner child to speak, and feel, express and heal in a super-safe, loving, supportive environment. Each students gets individual time to work thru our "Statement of Direction"... a proclamation that 'we are through being a victim, and finished blaming others... and we choose to use our personal power from this day forward! The weekend involves some lecture, but mostly it's experiential, including sharing, visualization, communication, emotional processing and role-play exercises. It's 2.5 solid days of intensive EQ skills training, personal connections, and emotional release. The class is Friday night from 7-11ish, Saturday from 9-8ish, Sunday starts at 9, graduation's at 7pm. In one short weekend... boom, you're different. Things have changed/shifted/healed inside you. The world looks brighter, and more hopeful, and you will feel more in your control of yourself, your thoughts and feelings, and your entire life! I promise you that within those short hours, you will see and feel your life change dramatically, for the better, or we will give you your money back. We are willing to love and accept you as you are -- even the parts of you that YOU may not like -- until you can start to love and accept yourself. --- 4.1 (monday, WFH!) 08:38 Sheri Persons 2 hours ago near Clovis, CA · Our $25.00 Starbucks winner is Matt Perelstein from New Directions. Please congratulate Matt. Also Matt please email me at personsfinancial@outlook.com and Thank You for your support. Everyone is encouraged to continue to "Like" Persons First Financial Services for the next promotion. Like · · Unfollow Post · Share · Hide from Timeline Michael Bringetto Sr. likes this. Matt Perelstein Wow, what a surprise!! Thanks so much, Sheri! As you know, I wish you the best in your new business, and I know you'll do well. Thanks again... rock on! Hey Sheri... did I really win the prize?!? What do I need to do? Thanks muchly! - Matt --- 08:45 MFF eblast sendout Text version footer ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let's stay in touch! Facebook community announcements: http://www.facebook.com/mendocinofilmfestival YouTube videos: http://www.youtube.com/mendofilmfest MFF on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MendoFilmFest Master List Recipient Summary: Your original list had 3,252 list members. View Lists We removed 135 list members that have unsubscribed. We removed 760 list members that have bounced back (invalid addresses). This email will be sent to 2,319 list members. Payment Summary: You have 10,000 email credits to use. After sending this email, you will have 7,681 email credits left. Your email is scheduled to be sent on Apr 1, 2013 8:46AM PDT (next day) Name Type Launch Date Sent Open Click Bounce Unsub Conv. Revenue Film Festival Insider Canvas Apr 01, 2013 8:54AM 2,317 23.18% 4.10% 0.86% 0.22% Link # % Click here http://www.mendocinofilmfestival.org/friendship.htm 77 3.32% Image http://mendocinofilmfestival.org/ 14 0.60% Text Version - Link 2 http://www.mendocinofilmfestival.org/friendship.htm 2 0.09% Image http://www.youtube.com/mendofilmfest 1 0.04% Image http://www.facebook.com/mendocinofilmfestival 1 0.04% --- 09:06 IMS Hi Shruti, I didn’t hear back from you on the below, but I’m still home, so I hope that’s ok. On IMM, there’s plenty to do (and apparently it became a much higher priority since some customers are waiting for this info), and I can do that from here, same as there. If you need me for anything, please holler. Thanks. Hope the new office is nice! - Matt --- LI-EIN "Events by themselves do not disturb us but the way we look at it" - Epictetus By Dr. J. Sathya Kumar - When your enemy and his or her evil actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing.The first 15 - or 150 - times you try this, the "blessing" may feel contrived, empty, and even hypocritical but keep trying. Eventually, it will become a new habit and soon thereafter, the anger and pain that has burned in your heart will evaporate like dew in the morning sun. (wikihow) - How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? I like the frame of using feeling to gain insight into how my values, beliefs and past experience shape my reactions to the world. Listening to the story told by the images and beliefs under the feeling tell me a lot. And when they come from the past, I can ask “is this that?”. I am not sure if anyone is teaching this as a personal process and I cooked this up from several sources. I find that just dumping feeling without the background is often counterproductive. By Wayne Hall - It’s much easier to be critical than to correct By Mohan Gharat - "A relationship is an initiation, in a way....As you work things out, you actually become a more mature person. That’s a very good way in which a relationship serves your soul." - Thomas Moore it sometimes looks like "one thing after the other," but really, it is Blessing After Blessing. - NDW NDW = Neale Donald Walsch We can learn a lot from our duck friends as they are able dive deep but also have the ability to float gracefully. -------- mcp ----------- A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning. --- LI-EIN Gloria Harmony EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AWARENESS AND TRAINING JUST MAKES SENSE Whether it's customer service, managing or supervising, or dealing with a relationship, emotion is the factor we need to learn to deal with. Emotion creates defensive actions. It just makes sense to train and prepare to respond to a situation through emotional intelligence. Coach Employees to Respond to Emotion - Chief Learning Officer, Solutions for Enterprise Productivity clomedia.com Customers didn't expect much from companies in the past. They bought a product, anticipated a "thank you" and perhaps a smile. Today's customer relationship equation is markedly different. Customers expect not just friendly... - Harvey Deutschendorf commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I use the analogy of life being a race and the race car is the IQ and the driver the EQ. Even with the most powerful engine, without the skilled driver to maneuver and control, it will likely crash or be largely ineffective. To be able to take full advantage of our IQ, I believe, we need to have a high level of EQ. Even without the fastest engine a skilled driver can do quite well in the race of life. The ideal, of course, is to have both a powerful engine and highly skilled driver, but given the choice between the two I would take the skilled driver. So much in life, as in racing depends upon managing our emotions. Being flexible, knowing when to move forward, hang back, controlling fear, excitement, taking appropriate risks, being able to read others and the environment around us. By the way, I see the race in life as being within ourselves in order to try and reach our full potential not as a race against others - LISA WOODS Steer the Conversation by Asking Better Questions By asking well-crafted questions, thinking first about what you really want to know, and explaining your intent, you will be in command of the conversation AND the other person will be much more comfortable, too. The outcome of these conversations will be that you have more ... more… 3 Communication Techniques To Lead Effective Conversations managingamericans.com In the workplace, there’s something about questions that makes people uncomfortable. As a result, we often fail to ask the questions that would elicit information we need in order to be... - Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I use the analogy of life being a race and the race car is the IQ and the driver the EQ. Even with the most powerful engine, without the skilled driver to maneuver and control, it will likely crash or be largely ineffective. To be able to take full advantage of our IQ, I believe, we need to have a high level of EQ. Even without the fastest engine a skilled driver can do quite well in the race of life. The ideal, of course, is to have both a powerful engine and highly skilled driver, but given the choice between the two I would take the skilled driver. So much in life, as in racing depends upon managing our emotions. Being flexible, knowing when to move forward, hang back, controlling fear, excitement, taking appropriate risks, being able to read others and the environment around us. By the way, I see the race in life as being within ourselves in order to try and reach our full potential not as a race against others. By Harvey Deutschendorf - We spend so much time honing our communications skills. How to have critical conversations, how to negotiate, how to stay calm during tough discussions, etc. But we forget how to listen. - Deborah G. commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I certainly agree that IQ and EQ are not opposites, rather I have found that though they are different entities, they can be very complimentary. For too long we have put so much emphasis on cognitive abiities as the' measure' in determining ability or competance when in fact the most powerful forces on this planet are not what we can measure but what we can invision. The ability to quickly size up a situation does not necessarily come from intelligence or a book, it comes from an innate sense of what is seen in our surroundings. Sometimes the longest part of our journey is getting things from the head to the heart. - Glenn Llopis 12 Things Successfully Convert a Great Idea into a Reality - Forbes forbes.com How many times have you been in a meeting and someone says to you, "That's a great idea, you should take the initiative and make it a reality." What typically happens? Most of the time - nothing. Most great ideas remain dormant... - Wayne H. commented on Would Expanding Our Vision for our lives Inspire our Desire for Better EQ Development? @Valencia, Who we are and our view of our identity is interesting. There is research saying we have several sub-selves depending on the role we are involved in. I am a dad, a consutant, a dancer, a nature walker, a friend, and so on. It seems different parts of the brain are a bit more active supporting these roles and sub-identies. I imagine when we attach an idea or tool as part of our identity then this mistaken identity gets us into trouble? Our identity seems very fuzzy, flexible and beyond clear definitions. It seems our relationships drive our identity. Maybe thats a key, what happens when our primary relationship is with things and not with people? Do we relate to things as a goal of having better relationships with people? Buy the car get the woman? Buy new shoes, get the admiration? - Sue S. commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” - Eleanor Roosevelt My understanding of life is that living it bravely, honestly, never stopping to see it as an adventure, embracing it not just seeking to be competent, it's often during times of challenges that we have the opportunities’ to experience profound powers within ourselves. Experiencing all areas of life with gusto. Much like when we fall in love it is beyond our control, often our brains tell us it‘s not a good idea, but our hearts tell us we can fly, this is surely one of the experiences of being alive. - Peter Arbery commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. IQ has never helped me settle a disagreement between myself and someone I care about. IQ tends to be like adding fuel to a fire. EQ has the effect of reducing emotions so that the best solution can be found. Both at home and at work EQ>IQ in outcomes. - 10:36 LOL - YAY! Matt -n- Paula Perelstein 32501 McDonnell Lane Fort Bragg, CA 95437 THANKS! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Starbucks! From: Sheri Persons Date: Mon, April 01, 2013 10:19 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Yes, it's not an April Fool's Joke. I just need your address so I can send the card. --- Danielle http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite/2013/04/01/becoming-versus-being Today's broadcast addresses the dilemma of "Becoming versus Being"......Getting off the treadmill of "Becoming" and Deciding to "Be". Call in to speak with the host (646) 716-4788 On demand http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drdanielleminceywhite Emotional Physical Therapy A weekly show focused on energy healing: mind, body, and spirit. http://drdanielleminceywhite.blogspot.com http://www.twitter.com/drdamwhite http://www.facebook.com/drdamwhite --- 10:42 PP = 3587 --- , Orders for today (largest orders ever! 11-5's++) and the many new orders! ,Crystal Southerly S, x ,Nora, returned, addressee unknown whoops, new address sent ,Sophia 1C ,Alice Grass 1/2B (pd, $29.95 by phone, 727-644-8076) Andrew Peters c/o West Bay Surgery Center 1401 West Bay Drive Largo, FL 33770 1B, 3' Josh is coming at 11:30 --- 10:59 Hi Gang, I just wanted to let you know that Rebekah and I won't be at class tonight, so if someone could grab the homework for us, and send it to us after, we'd muchly appreciate it! I 'get' to work-from-home this entire week (Yay for me!), and Rebekah is taking a 3-month class that only had 1 weekend off, so she spent it with her son in Santa Barbara (Yay for her, and him!). So, I hope all are learning lots (yay for you!). Let us know how it goes... and please send the homework! Thanks. - Matt --- 11:02 IMS Standup call --- 11:06 Hi Ursula. Are you back? How'z your mom?!? Wanna meet some evening next week in Larkspur? Hope you're well! - Matt --- Talk about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your Joys. - Rita Schiano ------------ mcp --------- If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lau Tzu --- Educate the Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOYOa4FIj-Y compassion, acceptance and tollerance socially and emotionally-balanced people - The Dalai Lama Center --- 12:35 Josh is here, with Devin off on the quad, with the chainsaw PP = 3656.99 (new record!) --- PG&E got new 'smart meters' today guy turned electricity off, and lost about 50 browser windows... sad. Google Chrome doesn't 'restore last session' like IE and FF do (got most back via History, Ctrl-H) noon - 4 (massive) Orders with Josh, and Dustin 4:20-4:40 munch, espn women's March Madness Elite 8 5-6 Company Store, met PKP and Tom Fantulin at North Coast Land re: minor subdivision, maybe selling 2 acres to Tom, but... split west 5 acres into 2-2.5 acre parcels split east 8 acres into 3 & 5 acres 1 2.5 to Scotto 3 to Tracy Kay 5 to PR 2.5 to Tom? PS, going downhill fast with new boss (Rachel), Carol and Dina now all against Paula she was told today to fire 8 of her volunteers... some 'cause they were too skinny Sandra Jean, Diane Klaus, Peggy, wonderful people! not good. 6-7 McD's with PKP 7-8 Headlands Coffee house to see Jherica, Jessica and Diego sing, first time! post on FB, lots of Likes (26+5, 12 hours later!) --- New IMS Phone list my new # 415-692-9456 >> copy to VDI/~mcp_IMS.txt tomorrow First Name Last Name Current Phone Number Forward to Number Aileen DeSoto 4158147147 415-692-9430 Amanda Prail 4158147121 415-692-9431 Amber Tuckers 4158147180 415-692-9432 Billy Mok 4158147168 415-692-9433 Cheng Blanco 4158147128 415-692-9434 Christine Profita Orok 4158147173 415-692-9551 Cindy Truong 4158147125 415-692-9435 Daisy Chu 4158147166 415-692-9436 Dmitriy Neyman 4158147110 415-692-9437 Dong Yang 4158147108 415-692-9438 Edelmira Rodriguez 4158147123 415-692-9439 Feng Zhou 4158147176 415-692-9440 Franco Rolando 4158147139 415-692-9441 Henry Lau 4158147138 415-692-9442 Ivy Chan 4158147146 415-692-9443 Jim Frankfort 4158147119 415-692-9444 Jimmy Lam 4158147113 415-692-9445 John Ling 4158147106 415-692-9446 John Wong 4158147127 415-692-9448 John Villalon 4158147116 415-692-9447 Jovan Willford 4158147118 415-692-9449 Kanagasundari Subbaraman 4158147159 415-692-9450 Ken Wong 4158147177 415-692-9452 Kenneth Tyler 4158147181 415-692-9451 Kevin Steuck 4158147157 415-692-9453 Luis Paita 4158147104 415-692-9454 Mansi Parekh 4158147153 415-692-9455 Matt Perelstein 4158147126 415-692-9456 Nam Nguyen 4158147143 415-692-9457 Naveena Bobba 4158147142 415-692-9458 Peter Yu 4158147131 415-692-9459 Phil Young 4158147107 415-692-9460 Pinki Upadhyay 4158147151 415-692-9461 Priya Blazkova-Chandra 4158147132 415-2042-9555 Randy Hill 4158147105 415-692-9463 Receptionist 4158147163 415-692-9472 Roman Damborský 4158147129 415-692-9462 Samson Lee 4158147130 415-692-9464 Scott Lin 4158147114 415-692-9465 Shanti Sri Maddali 4158147162 415-692-9466 Shivani Mikkilineni 4158147154 415-692-9467 Shruti Gangadhar 4158147152 415-692-9468 Suga Hickox 4158147144 415-692-9469 Teresa Lau 4158147117 415-692-9470 Todd Cox 4158147135 415-692-9471 Vanessa Germino 4158147148 415-692-9473 Youde Wang 4158147124 415-692-9474 --- Links Nice Prayer, the 4 Candles http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/thefourcandles.htm ---- There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same... only love! - Johnny Depp... Don Juan DeMarco" --- Pizza Casserole: Source: Witchin in the Kitchen 1 (16 ounce) package uncooked rotini pasta 1 lb ground Italian sausage 1 (24 ounce) jar pasta sauce 1 (16 ounce) container cottage cheese 1 (2 1/4 ounce) can sliced black olives, drained (optional) 1 (4 ounce) can mushrooms, drained 12 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese 2 (3 ounce) packages sliced pepperoni Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9X13 casserole dish. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Place pasta in the pot, cook for 8 to 10 minutes, until al dente, and drain. In a skillet over medium heat, cook the sausage until evenly brown, drain grease. Mix in the cooked pasta and pasta sauce. Pour into prepared casserole dish. In a bowl, mix the cottage cheese, olives, mushrooms and mozzarella cheese. Spoon the cheese mixture over the sausage and pasta mixture. Top with pepperoni slices. Bake 25 minutes in the preheated oven, until bubbly and lightly browned. --- Hi Ladies, Thanks for your thorough introduction, Liz! Rachel and I are meeting tomorrow to get started. We'll contact you again after... Stay tuned. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Mailing List Database information From: Liz Hickok Date: Fri, March 29, 2013 4:15 pm To: rachel.perelstein@gmail.com, matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Carrie Lederer , Michele Theberge Hi Rachel and Matt- So sorry for the delayed email. I was away and am taking a while to get back into gear. But we are all thrilled that you are able to help us get our new mailing list database up and running, Rachel. Sorry this email is so long- it's actually not that complicated. But of course questions are welcome. Any of the three of us should be able to help clarify. Here is the scoop: We have a bunch of files on a google site. These are lists that the three of us have all compiled over the years of our Art World contacts. They are all different, and use different categories. Our goal (with your help) is to merge them together in one new, more efficient file, and so we can all share each other's information. You can download our files from there and upload any you've updated. If this is not convenient, we could start a Drop Box folder or share Google Docs, but it has been working well so far. But we're flexible and open to suggestions. To access the site go to: https://sites.google.com/site/clmnewprojects/files I just uploaded a file called "master-database-categories_03_13.xls". This files includes all of the categories we would like to include in our database. There will be a lot of blanks in the fields. For example, we won't all have phone numbers or email addresses for each entry, and that is ok. It will at least be a start. I also imagine that you won't know how to fill in some of the categories, so I am going to try to explain some of them below. If you don't know, just leave it blank, and we can do it. I'm also attaching a file here to help you see how I started to use these new categories. Last month I started gathering the names and info for local galleries and I used a version of the master database to capture the info. You will see how a lot of the sections are blank, either because I didn't know the info, or was too lazy to enter it in. After I've added a bit more info, I'll upload this file to the site as well and it can be one of the documents you integrate into the database. Note, I used highlighting as a way to mark which info might need to get updated (i.e., rather than having a generic email address for the gallery, I'd rather have a direct email). That is formatting you can ignore, but Michele, Carrie and I can discuss if we want to integrate something like that into the master file. First Name- Should be obvious, unless we don't have an actual contact at an institution, but maybe just the name of a gallery, for example… in which case, can be left blank. Last Name - Same as above Title - This is something like "Curator" "director" Assistant curator", etc. If the title isn't in our file, you can leave it blank and we will have someone help us fill that in later. Institution- the name of the company they work for (i.e., San Francisco Museum of Modern Art" Category- This should be a drop down list, including the following categories: large museum, small museum, independent curator, non-profit, commercial gallery, art consultant, University Gallery, University Museum Region- Drop down list: GBA, WEST, NM, SW, NW, MW, EAST, SE - This is so we can sort our lists by geographical area. I'm assuming we (or an assistant) will plug this info in later) GBA is greater Bay Area, West Coast, (I'm not sure what NM is- it was part of my meeting notes- I will confirm), South West, North West, Mid-West, East Coast, South East. (Carrie and Michele: did I leave anything out here?) Contact Guidelines- I don't think there will be anything in our files for this yet. It will be a field for us to fill in later as we learn how to submit our info to these institutions. For example, in my example file I've attached, under Chandra Cerrito, I note that once can apply through her website. CL notes- If there are any "notes" fields in in our documents, include them in our appropriate column. CL is Carrie, MT is Michele, and LH is Liz. For example, in my example file I made a note that I sent some of the people postcards with a note. If there are no notes fields, this can be left blank. LH notes Same as above MT notes Same as above Email - Phone- Address 1 Address 2 City State or Province Postal Code Country Date Added- If there is a date included in our records, include that. Otherwise, maybe just add in the date the file was last updated. Who Originated - Drop Down menu with CL, MT, LH (whoever's mailing list the entry came from) Date Modified - this can be left blank for now, until we change something in the future Date Voided & Why - this is for when an entry is no longer valid, and can mark why- for example, the person moved. To be left blank for now. Media- (Drop-Down list) Photography, Painting, Craft, Installation, Public Art, Drawing, Conceptual, Film/Video. We can fill this in ourselves if it is not obvious or already in our files. Press Specialty: (Not a drop-down list- just notes) art writer, critic, calendar editor, assignment editor, architecture, home/garden, people profiles, edgy. I imagine there aren't any of our documents that have this yet, but we will add it later. Thanks so much. Please let us know your questions. -Liz (510)499-9465 --- Educate the Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOYOa4FIj-Y Need a Job? Invent It http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/opinion/sunday/friedman-need-a-job-invent-it.html?_r=1& 5 Things We Can't Stop Smiling About http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Happy-Things-Joyful-Things-to-Do-in-April-2013 THE 10/10/10 RULE FOR TOUGH DECISION http://www.fastcompany.com/3007613/10-10-10-rule-tough-decisions?partner=newsletter Let's Talk E.I., with Hank Clemons http://www.talkzone.com/shows/199/LetsTalkEI.html A few tips for managing remotely. http://donnarawady.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/a-few-tips-for-managing-remotely/ Why You Need to Have Fun to Be Successful http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2012/07/25/why-you-need-to-have-fun-to-be-successful/ New Directions http://www.newdirectionsinc.org/about_programs_services.html Our therapeutic community helps veterans with everything from substance abuse recovery to family reunification to benefit advocacy. Boost Employee Engagement by Allowing Angry Outbursts Primal Teams (book) http://nuragroup.com/articles/boost-employee-engagement-by-allowing-angry-outbursts/ ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jackie Barretta is a writer, speaker and consultant helping organizations strengthen innovation and agility by shaping emotional energy. She is a thought leader bringing to light the new science of group emotional energy and connecting it to business performance. She makes the concepts real and practical through her experience leading teams as a C-level Fortune 500 executive and Big Four consulting firm professional Fuel Innovation thru Negative Emotions http://nuragroup.com/articles/fuel-innovation-thru-negative-emotions/ --- 4.2 06:30 up espn, coffee 07:15 Paula up cut toenails 07:45 PKP goes 08:10 end of "Twins" 08:37 415-692-9456 desk 425 Market St, 7th Floor San Francisco, CA 94105 --- “Never neglect an opportunity for improvement.” - Sir William Jones Yearning for a new way will not produce it. Only ending the old way can do that. - NDW It is through watching the cycles of nature that we more fully understand the cycles of our own lives. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. - Colin Powell "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha When I was raising my four daughters, they taught me a lot. When Jennica was in kindergarten her teacher returned a picture to her that wasn't hers. She spoke up to say that she didn't draw that. The teacher negated what she said and insisted that was her drawing. When I picked her up from school, her little eyes were brimming with tears, her body was tense and she was pulled way inside as she tried to hold back her tears. She told me what happened. I listened as we walked home and we talked about how I could help her with this problem in a way that would work for her. A bit later, I asked her how she was feeling. She said: "The tears are out of my eyes but they are still in my body." My daughter Angie taught me this: "Mom, my eyes feel warm." And then tears would drip. The best part of being a mom was the lesson to "slow down, we move too fast" and when we do, we often 'miss the magic of the moment'. Warmly, Susan --- 08:47 There is a lot not to like about trying to be successful. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/03/attitude/the-secret-to-unlikely-success You are never going to like the fact that no one else believes in your dream as much as you do. You are never going to like unfair criticism and sarcasm from your critics. You are never going to like that you never have the experience you want when you need it most. You are never going to like feeling tired, fatigued, and exhausted from all the effort you have to put in. You are never going to like the lack of uncertainty and fear that comes with trying something new. You are never going to like the failure and shame that comes with getting it wrong one too many times. You are never going to like the missed vacations, second hand cars, and being broke from time-to-time. You are never going to like the rolled eyes and patronizing smiles you get from others when you try to explain your dream. You are never going to like the uncomfortable questions you get and incomplete answers you have to offer. You are never going to like how long it takes to turn your ideas and dreams into life-changing success. http://waldschmidtpartners.com/about/case-studies/ "I... (insert specific issue here)" get wording from interviews --- 08:56 Valerie Gemanis How sweet are you!!!! Thank you so much. Love, Valerie You're quite welcome, you wonderful lady! I know you don't come to Facebook often, so I thought it might be a nice surprise for you, some daywhen you'd forgotten all about your birthday... just for fun... but then, here you are, the very next day! :) THANKS for all you do for the world. Training trainers, and training parents is, in my opinion, one of the BEST possible things we can do for the kiddos, and for our future!! Love (and respect and appreciation) always, - Matt? (I've been working on a thorough reply email to you... so stay tuned). --- 09:02 LI-EIN Esperanza or Hope Reynolds commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Emotional Intelligence is reliant on self awareness... but the basic question is... are people with high IQ capable of high Emotional Intelligence... Or are people with high emotional intelligence usually those with any IQ... Perhaps one is part of the other or vise versa... Emotional Intelligence is an ability to detach when harm occurs and to attach when the self is rewarded... to not take comments the wrong way, to listen rather than speak... If we have the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others and groups, always identifying the weaknesses and strengths of those around us and standing back emotionally balanced to form a high intelligent group by accepting the short-comings of others but gaining by the skill set of members of a group, we have therefore, the ability to gain BRAIN POWER... Emotional Intelligence is PARAMOUNT in our world today! - Esperanza or Hope Reynolds commented on "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... When we speak the truth... based on our perspective to others, they often get their feelings hurt, it is as if the world wanted ONLY TO HEAR WHAT PLEASES THEM... What do we say to others whose feelings get hurt? Firs time, shame on them for taking what we say the wrong way, second time, shame on us for permitting ourselves to be in the company of highly negative individuals... So... if a person gets hurt too many times, they have issues that they need to deal with, move away until such time as they come back, renewed and refreshed to continue the relationship, whether friends, family or lovers... NEVER permit anyone to... by feeling hurt, end up hurting us! - Esperanza or Hope Reynolds commented on What is the filter for accepting a new belief? What a fascinating question! The filter is an inability to have VISION because of lack of experience... Growing up in Cuba, turmoil of unprecedented consequences, left alone through Mexico in transit to the USA... First shock, for there I encountered poverty and class issues I thought would not exist in a free country and could hardly understand the language because terminology in Mexico was rather different to my own and we spoke to fast for Mexicans, often criticized... Welcome to a new reality... Arrived in the USA after spending countless hours trying to learn English, only to find a country in cultural turmoil, a language that was pronounced differently from what I had studied and feeling great discrimination because Cubans in the late 60s - early 70s were seen as a danger to local employment opportunity because we provided a wave of cheap labor, yet skilled and for the most part, highly educated... Welcome to trauma... During my travels through my Nortel Networks employ, Caribbean, Colombia, Peru, Chile, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Europe... every country made me aware of the particular issues of countries throughout the world and as I tried to stand back and ponder on the lessons learned... THE STUPIDITY of LAWS made me realize that in our attempt to bring law and order, we have created global disorder of such magnitude because through laws many are obligated to live lives at the detriment of self interest, always strings pulled by those in search of power and control... So... what is the filter? An inability to have VISION... the minute we get out of our safety net, our CAVES, our countries and our families... we encounter the reality of others and if we take the time to learn the lessons learned by humanity at a global level, we soon become CITIZENS OF PLANET EARTH as opposed to individuals that live with barriers or blind folded eyes that can not see! What should we do? Teach children many languages, take the time to travel, expose next generations to the reality of a global world in the HOPE that we form bonds based on respect for we are nothing but the sum total of the people who make the fabric of any nation as we strive to achieve the objectives of self, family, society, nation and religion... IN GOD WE TRUST, so much gets accomplished! - Conny Nussbaum/Kiank, PhD commented on What is the Secret of Success? I think the secret of success is a combination of perseverance, good instincts (trust your gut feelings), experience, learning of mistakes, people skills, trust and faith and a little bit of luck. - William M. 10 actions to mastering leadership :: TEN askten.co.uk The key to truly effective leadership lies in mastering a wide range of skills from implementing and administering process to inspiring others to achieve excellence. To be an effective leader you need to make the most of.. - John C. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi Josh and everyone! I am a Psychologist with Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Jersey. It is clearly so important to help physicians and others see the value of cultivating empathy and emotional intelligence in themselves and their patients. But action and procedure oriented professionals feel inadequate if they don't "do more." They want to actively intervene. I think they can do both. The book Two Minute Talks to Improve Psychological and Behavioral Health helps. - -------- mcp ---------- Oscar M. Stress is a Choice An excerpt from: Stress is a Choice by David Zerfoss Several years ago while listening to my pastor give a Sunday sermon, he spoke about how life is made up of a series of choices. It made me realize that my hectic professional and personal life was of my choosing. Therefore, a life of stress had become my choice. Many of us hurry through life going from one place to the next, focused on conquering the next mountain, making the next deal, running the next errand, and believing we will never have enough time to do all the things we need to get done. Yet, there is all the time in the world if we just realize that we are the creators of this life we choose to live. That's right. Life is a series of choices and being free from stress is one of those choices. Whether your business life is overly complicated or your personal life (or both), you have chosen this current system of chaos. The world is a tantalizing swirl of getting the next "fix," tempting us to fit more and more things, people and processes into our lives, personally and professionally. And because we are so busy being busy, it's easy to be lured into the fray, with our lengthy to-do lists. Yet, the greatest achievements have often come from the simplest of ideas and in the simplest forms. To experience a simplified life, we first have to learn to slow down long enough to see through all the clutter. We need to realize that we are powerful magnets that attracted this life to ourselves—no matter what—good or bad. ….my wish for you is that you commit to simplify and enroll others for support. Take out a blank sheet of paper and create the life you truly want to live—with less stress and complexity—one that is anchored by a clear sense of your unique and simple purpose. -- David Zerfoss - Marie Louise V. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Dear members of the Emotional Intelligence Network, I am working as an educational consultant in the public sector in Denmark. My job is on the one hand to guide and inspire unemployed people to upgrade their professional, personal and general competencies to improve their chances of finding a job, on the other hand to convince employers to invest time and money in upgrading their employees' competencies. I am very aware that EQ is important when communicating with people who find themselves in a vulnerable situation (as many unemployed people do) or people who are hostile to any kind of change (many employers do not see the value in developing the employees). I hope to find inspiration for my professional life as well as for my private life with family and friends in the EQ network. Looking forward to being part of this group:-))) - How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? On another note, I was the facilitator in a seminar that just happened to be dominated with people who predominantly saw themselves as sensitives and feelers. As the work progressed and I listened and interacted, finding where they were internally 'seated' was like trying to pick up watermelon seeds (very slippery!). The ah ha I got was that many of these participants were stuck in 'feeling about their feelings'. What does that mean? If a participant said "I feel sad" and any delving was done on the subject of her sadness, it was simply a wild goose chase. Why? Because she was feeling sad ABOUT feeling sad. Mad about feeling mad. Ashamed about feeling embarrassed, etc. etc. etc. So, the moral of the story in my mind is: "Anything overdone is simply overdone." By Susan McNeal Velasquez - Arun K. S. commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Great inputs! I have been closely reading all. True...that the inherited fibers in a human being and factors of socialization (in both cases he/she has no control why things came to him/her like that) have an impact and a role to play in growth and development of an individual...but the question is what an individual has to do standing on a square confused where to go? I think most of our negative thoughts and actions (with visible impacts) are imposed ones, provoked either by IQ or EQ. That is why after saying so or doing so, one repents on the matter and blames other than the self as if it was not said or done by the self. Then we are taught how to control xyz....Things are easily available in the air with the label of good and bad as socially prescribed, which usually do not match from the individual perspective. From that a confused individual grows not knowing in which direction to go! I am positive that "watching" oneself is the key particularly for the grown ups. This can be done at the physical, mental and emotional level. Behavior patterns of the outside or inside world can be watched moment to moment! Slowly, the individual may reach to a point where he/she can be sure for himself/herself for the responses done in/to different situations. Liz rightly points out about the practices of ancient cultures. Different tools can be developed for the children for deliberate development of EQ. And a coherent atmosphere can be created at family level/institutional level to nurture the EQ in a natural and gradual way. I feel that EQ and IQ are like two of our eyes...both should be placed side by side to see things in a better way. The pity is that it has not been done so far! Once done so, the world will see the result of performance of individuals at personal life and at work. Of course one can see the world with one eye but question is of the dimension...what is left to see! - Phebe Baltazzi commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. In greek "Harmonia" or harmony, would design in its intial meaning "a joint" a point in which several things were connecting to work together, and at last taking the meaning of "exact quotient" , equilibrium point, accord as in music! In what exact "sense" do we have the right or the understanding of talking about our being as Intellectual and Emotional?! Are we neurotic or there is a reality behind this observation, and where does it stands?! Philosophers like Dürckheim, E.Kant, Descartes, have talked about an "Existential Being" and an "Essential Being". What gives us the possibility to distinguish the two when both are "us/we"?! Our search, is that which is called "trans-ire in latin, in other words going beyond or through...! Emotional Intelligence is a quotient of the "what we are" and "who we are" and expresses understandings that mostly often transcends our limited Intellectual vocabulary or meanings! Limiting our conversation to the neurophysiological processes of "what we are" is like seeing just a color that a prism can give, and we can easily fall into the mistake of not only "intellectualize emotional intelligence", as thinking that only "scientists and literate people" can possess it, while missing "The crucial/main point of reference" which can be an observance made by ALL! Techniques, as meditation, of soothing our deeper being, as well as self-knowledge, are like brushes that take away the "dust", make part of our Emotional Intelligence but must not be taken as "Emotional Intelligence" itself ! Emotional Intelligence is a QUOTIENT of a Becoming as reference to who we "are" and as well as of the environmental patterns of Nature to which we consciously feel the benefits of "submitting" to them! Lastly, Emotional Intelligence is both Physical as well as "Metaphysical" - Carol A. I. "Know more about the world than you knew yesterday. And, lessen the suffering of others." - Daniel Goleman Full Interview (Nov 2011) http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-full-interview-nov-2011 More than Sound Leadership and the Power of Emotional Intelligence E I, 1995 "Emotional Intelligence is a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea." Harvard Business Review http://hbr.org/2001/04/breakthrough-ideas-for-todays-business-agenda/ar/pr "The fact is, revolutionary ideas are rare. Indeed, we would posit that one truly big, paradigm-shattering idea is born each year—maybe. The year 1979 gave us Michael Porter’s on the forces that shape strategy. In 1990, it was C. K. Prahalad and Gary Hamel’s theory on core competencies. In 1995, it was Clayton Christensen on disruptive technologies. In 1998, it was Daniel Goleman on emotional intelligence at work. Those kinds of ideas don’t just advance the conversation; they permanently alter it." (Daniel Goleman's agent) http://www.roycecarlton.com/speaker/profile/Daniel-Goleman.html Author of Emotional Intelligence and psychologist Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. His 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages, with over five million copies in print. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI), “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.” Daniel Goleman's Bio http://www.roycecarlton.com/speaker/biography/Daniel-Goleman.html Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME Included in "The Best Business Books Ever: The 100 Most Influential Management Books You'll Never Have Time to Read" http://www.amazon.com/The-Best-Business-Books-Ever/dp/0738208493 The 50 Most Influential Management Gurus (#39 of 50) http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/the-50-most-influential-management-gurus/39-goleman -------- mcp ------- D-R The 25 Most Influential Business Management Books (#5 of 25) Complete list http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2086680,00.html"Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2086680_2086683_2087663,00.html What factors are at play, asks the author, "when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well?" Those qualities, such as self-control, persistence and motivation, are known as emotional intelligence or EQ. Without them, writes Goleman, careers are often unnecessarily dashed on the rocks. There is hope, though: "Temperament is not destiny," he writes. The author explains how a higher EQ can be developed through psychological education. The compelling ideas the author introduces have since become a means of assessing and nurturing an employee's behavior and management skills. The Must-Have Leadership Skill http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/10/the_must-have_leadership_skill.html "We hired a new CEO, but had to let him go after just seven months," the chairman of an East Coast think tank complained to me recently. "His resume looked spectacular, he did splendidly in all the interviews. But within a week or two we were hearing pushback from the staff. They were telling us, 'You hired a first-rate economist with zero social intelligence.' He was pure command and control." The think tank's work centers on interlocking networks of relationships with the board, staff, donors, and a wide variety of academics and policy experts. The CEO urgently needed to manage those relationships, but lacked the interpersonal skills that organizations increasingly need in their leaders. A CEO who fails to navigate those relationships artfully, the think tank's board saw, could torpedo the organization. Why does social intelligence emerge as the make-or-break leadership skill set? For one, leadership is the art of accomplishing goals through other people. As I've written with my colleague Richard Boyatzis, technical skills and self-mastery alone allow you to be an outstanding individual contributor. But to lead, you need an additional interpersonal skill set: you've got to listen, communicate, persuade, collaborate. That was brought home to me yet again reading "Making Yourself Indispensable," by John H. Zenger, Joseph R. Folkman, and Scott E. Edinger, which makes the strong point that a leader's competencies are synergistic. The more different competencies a leader displays at strength, the greater her business results. - Dr. Goleman's Nov./Dec. 1998 article in the Harvard Business Review, “What Makes A Leader?” received the highest reader ratings ever, becoming the best-selling reprint in the history of the HBR. His follow-up article in the March/April 2000 issue of the HBR, “Leadership That Gets Results,” became another best-selling reprint. Dr. Goleman co-founded the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning at the Yale University Child Studies Center (now at the University of Illinois, Chicago), with the mission to help schools introduce emotional literacy courses. One mark of the Collaborative’s impact is that thousands of schools around the world have begun to implement such programs. Dr. Goleman is co-chairman of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations, based in the School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers University, which seeks to identify best practices for developing emotional competence. He has received many journalistic awards for his writing, including two nominations for the Pulitzer Prize for his articles in the Times, and a Career Achievement award for journalism from the American Psychological Association. In recognition of his efforts to communicate the behavioral sciences to the public, he was elected a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. In 2002 Dr. Goleman was ranked one of the top ten business intellectuals by the Accenture Institute for Strategic Change, and in 2008 The Wall Street Journal included him in its top 10 ranking of influential business thinkers. Born in Stockton, California, Dr. Goleman attended Amherst College, where he was an Alfred P. Sloan Scholar and graduated magna cum laude. His graduate education was completed at Harvard, where he was a Ford Fellow, and he received his M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology and personality development. Dr. Goleman now lives in the Berkshires of Massachusetts with his wife Tara Bennett-Goleman, a psychotherapist. He has two grown sons and three granddaughters. --- -------- mcp ------ “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis B. Smedes --- 09:51 FB-IM to Cheryl Hey there Hug-bug!!! Great chatting with you yesterday... let's do it again! I'm home all week, so let's talk! Here are the 3 new concepts I was rushing to say to you... - Love starts with self-love. - Empathy starts with self-empathy. - Connect with your own inner child (and/or your higher power) and you need never feel alone, again! Whatchathink? --- feeling sessions: I cough a lot, and often wanna spit (trash can) ... and I cry... a lot. --- --------- mcp ----------- YOU DON’T NEED PERMISSION TO BE AWESOME. We don't need permission to be awesome! EXTREME BEHAVIOR. DISCIPLINED ACTIVITY. GIVING MINDSET. Y(H)UMAN STRATEGY. (!) Love this pdf, 28 pages, HUGE type, 1-2 sentences, or bullets, per page solid black, or white, or red backgrounds http://waldpartners.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/edgy_playbook.pdf - ... and this Solution-focused, story-telling way of showing results http://waldschmidtpartners.com/about/case-studies/ WALDSCHMIDT PARTNERS CORPORATE HQ 411 University Ridge, Suite 235 Greenville, South Carolina, USA 29691 CALL US: 1-202-630-6730 EMAIL: conversation@waldschmidtpartners.com --- >> how about doing a bio, and submitting it to the EQ companies/trainers/consultants --- >> sliloh, change ND to 2GH, throughout (some text, some graphics) and I'm locked out, again. --- Fresno, CA What is EQ? 2.7M hits in May $1.5 - $3/click to aquire 19 clients $900/$750 out of pocket emotional intelligence what is eq self help workshop anger workshop emotional literacy anger management self help seminar emotional intelligence workshop profitability 10:42 Chris Smith linked User interface and API team goal $30/day, or ~10 clicks/day 19 @ $399, $395 profit? workshops for Amanda May 17 - Hello, Thank you for taking the time today to speak with me about your business. I look forward to working with you to set up your campaign. Please find my contact information below, as well as some great resources to learn more about AdWords. AdWords Help Center - http://adwords.google.com/support/aw/?hl=en AdWords Help Forum - http://www.google.com/support/forum?hl=en AdWords Success Stories - https://www.google.com/intl/en_us/adwords/select/success.html Do you have questions about Quality Score? Check out our easy new guide to Quality Score for ads showing on search: http://adwords.google.com/support/aw/bin/static.py?hl=en&page=guide.cs&guide=23572&ctx=foot. Best, Amanda Buehler ------------------------- Amanda Buehler| Google AdWords Representative | 800-826-9988 x.23610| Amanda.Bu@google.com she's gonna write the ad(s) for us! --- 11:12 Hi Finnessa...sorry for the delay... I thought I notified you, already. I got slammed with orders on the 23rd, and then had to leave for the week for work. We cut your order last night, we'll be packing it in an hour or so, and it will be at the Post Office today. Look for a large, flat white box, that smells REALLY good! Sorry again for the delay. Enjoy your Eucs and good luck growing your own! - Matt --- Let ‘em be emotional. Just make sure they’re smart about it. http://eifortheregularguy.com/assets/EI-one-pager.pdf Finally, everyone can become emotionally intelligent. Call Now >> Simple There’s no fuss – to learn it or to teach it. With an easy-to-understand EI model and a conversational style of writing, this training appeals to everyone. And the comprehensive Facilitator Guide means support and quick prep time for facilitators. Effective EI for the Regular Guy is blended learning at its best. Participants jump in to learning through an interactive eBook and self-paced assignments that prepare them for a one-day instructor-led event that is full of practice and application. And because the materials are so user-friendly and fun, it’s easy to stay engaged. Affordable EI for the Regular Guy is an affordable, off-the-shelf training solution for companies of any size. You buy each facilitator a guide and order participant materials based on your need. There’s no minimum purchase required and no expensive certifications. We give you control, so your costs stay low. Why EI for the Regular Guy is Anything but Average: It uses a blended-learning format – introductory eBook, self-paced lab assignments and a one-day instructor-led event. The comprehensive Facilitator Guide makes learning and teaching easy. The simple language and easy-to-understand models engage participants. The content is research-based and tested. Learning and practicing begins immediately with the eBook and Lab Assignments. The instructor-led event is all about practice and interaction. Videos, case studies and thought-provoking discussions keep participants engaged. You order only what you need when you need it. It includes on-demand Train-the-trainer support from the creators, but it requires no certification. Interactive eBook EI for the Regular Guy begins with an eBook. It’s delivered on a tablet to help today’s on-the-go leaders learn wherever they are in no time. The eBook presents foundational information through quirky fun facts, humorous imagery, smart models and design flow, and concise, straight-forward language. Instructor-led Training (ILT) This one-day ILT provides a chance to apply emotional intelligence concepts through rich discussion, mock game shows, role plays, informative handouts, researchbased assessments, and a high-challenge capstone activity. We can train your facilitators so you can deploy where you want, when you want. Or, for a nominal fee, we can facilitate for you. --- ND Brochure Simple, Effective, Affordable Profound, Lasting, Transformational --- PP = 3743 (new record! But, had to refund $50) -49.95 refund, Robin Haldeman --- Gavin L. commented on An interview with Daniel Goleman (video) the world leader in Emotional Intelligence - speaking to LeadersIn What frustrates me a little is schools seem to be so focused on IQ. The future world our kids will be growing up in I beleive will be all about EQ. Everything is so available now and everything is connected findign information is not hard. This is where EQ will make the difference. Great interview. --- Jenna Rutherdale Yeah it sucks being grown up And Yeah for sure Rachel Yesterday at 12:32am via mobile · Like Sydney Fry Rutherdale Great pictures! Jenna, you did look innocent, Rachel you look mischievious, and Sam you look cute and confident. We need to get a picture of all of you together now. 6 hours ago · Unlike · 1 Rachel Perelstein Ya definitely..where does Sam live 6 hours ago · Unlike · 1 Jenna Rutherdale Wyoming 5 hours ago via mobile · Like Matt Perelstein Good ones, Jenna! You guys are seriously cute in the top pic... the good 'ole days. (Rachel brought over "Rise of the Guardians" for easter... have you seen it? Great animatition and very fun story... watch it sometime, you'll like it!) Happy E-day! --- 5:26 Hey Josh, how about a contest, just for fun... How about this? - Matt ** CONTEST TIME *** Our wonderful group is now at 44,813 Members (probably the largest EQ group on the planet). On what day do you think we'll we reach 45,000 Members? Winner receives a copy of Joshua Freedman's book, "At the Heart of Leadership". What's your guess? --- 5:33 Hi Anita. Once again, I cannot get into 2GetHelpWorkshop.com... can you let me in again, please? Are we getting creamed by spammers? Also, please take a look at that site and see what it would take to change everyplace it says New Directions Workshop to say 2GetHelp Workshop. I think one or two places it's a graphic, but in most others, it's just text. Any ideas on MattPerelstein.com? THanks! - Matt Josh helped much of the day, noon-4 paid him $40, then $20 'for rachel'... we all win. he even met me at the PO to help carry it all in Record, $440 postage --- 5:33 off to chicken dinner good, with Trader Joe veggies (excellent, $2.99 each, gotta get more!) "Father of Invention" with Kevin Spacey... good. unusual that I made it thru the movie and Paula didn't she's been having some tough days lately, tho. tucker her in, then... 9:11 “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.” - Wayne Dyer 9:26+ FB-NDG Matt Perelstein "Resentment is the poison you drink thinking it will kill your enemy," - Nelson Mandela Let's deal with our anger, then LET IT GO >>> 16 minutes ago · Like Melann Kenel I have a lot... about a minute ago via mobile · Like Matt Perelstein ... a lot of anger or resentment, or both, Melann? --- 9:39 LI-EIN with Josh's permission... "Sure" :) * CONTEST TIME * Our wonderful group is now at 44,818 members. On what date do you think we will reach 45,000 members? Winner receives a copy of Joshua Freedman's book, "At the Heart of Leadership". Click , and guess which day! --- SEL4MASS.ORG HOME OF THE SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING (SEL) ALLIANCE FOR MASSACHUSETTS (SAM) http://www.sel4mass.org/what-is-sel/ What is SEL? SEL is a process for helping children and even adults develop the fundamental skills for life effectiveness. SEL teaches the skills we all need to handle ourselves, our relationships, and our work, effectively and ethically. SEL serves as an umbrella for many programs that serve to make youth feel safe and provide a positive learning environment. These include: Social-Emotional Learning. Character Education. Service Learning. Peer Mediation. Bullying Prevention. Anger Management. Drug/Alcohol Prevention. Violence Prevention. Ethical-Decision Making. Harassment Prevention. Positive Behavior Supports. Sport psychology, positive psychology, cognitive-behavioral psychology are sciences that support the SEL teaching methodology. These skills include: recognizing and managing our emotions; developing caring and concern for others; establishing positive relationships; making responsible decisions; and handling challenging situations constructively and ethically. They are the skills that allow children to calm themselves when angry, make friends, resolve conflicts respectfully, and make ethical and safe choices. SEL is a framework for school improvement by creating and maintaining a caring learning environments. Students learn better in a positive and safe school. The most beneficial SEL programs are: sequential and developmentally appropriate instruction in SEL skills; implemented in a coordinated manner, schoolwide, from preschool through high school; reinforced in the classroom, during out-of-school activities, and at home; giving teachers ongoing professional development in SEL; uniting families and schools to work together to promote children’s social, emotional, and academic success. - D-R http://www.cfchildren.org/advocacy/social-emotional-learning/ten-reasons-you-should-care-about-sel.aspx A nonprofit working globally to promote children’s social and academic success Ten Reasons Why You Should Care About SEL - Good social-emotional learning (SEL) contributes to healthy classroom and school climate. - Teaching SEL can help prevent bullying in schools. - SEL skills will serve students well as adults in the workplace. - Good SEL skills can contribute to academic achievement. - Problem solving is applicable to almost any situation a child or adult will encounter, from personal conflict to economic crises. - SEL instruction may soon be included in federal law. - SEL and its accompanying communication and conflict-resolution skills can make home and family life. - Good SEL skills can increase children’s protective factors and decrease their risk factors. - Teaching SEL to our children by example can have the positive side effect of improving our own SEL skills. - On a global scale, SEL can contribute to a more peaceful world. Phone 800-634-4449 Seattle area: 206-343-1223 Address Committee for Children 2815 Second Avenue Suite 400 Seattle, WA 98121 Map and Directions --- EQ is A Different Kind of Smart Winning from Within! --- nd testimonials, mcp testimonial Shauna Nauna Hoskins that makes total sense to me I know in the past there were times I was afraid of my own anger what I might do or losing control and ending up in a ward,, thank goodness for doctor downing, new directions Matt and Paula I realized I could nut up and not be nuts ha ha ha ha Ricci Choate If I didnt say it before , Thank you , to all last meeting , Ive been noticing some different in myself , Im getting stronger , Love u all !!!!! Micha Cisneros Yep it's defiantly a work in progress and feels so much better when you get it turned back around to that powerful position inside like your talking about Matt. Thank goodness we are able to change it back around when we slip into that place. I think this program has instilled that awareness we need to do this. Micha Cisneros I miss the support of all the wonderful people in new directions that actually understand and do not judge your feelings !!! --- pause... here in chair, later put M&M blanket on, and heater under desk (wall heater has been going entire time) not too bad, if I slunk down a bit so my neck is supported. --- 4.3 HB to Al, Blaise, Rusty, Sue, me (in the next 3 days) 03:33ish hi. 03:53 writting this note. trying to reply to a question from Yael on THAHBH "We are what we are, because of the vibrations of thought which we pick up and register, through the stimuli of our daily environment." - Napoleon Hill --- D-R so Steve says it's about separation. and we will be bringing people together and teaching/helping/showing them HOW to be together and HOW to let go of the separation WE created/learned/decided/were told. (ND Brochure) Emotional Healing 1. Release the pain 2. Finish the scene - Gestalt 3. Val, please help me with the brochure I cannot seem to get it done by myself. in fact, I can't seem to get much of anything DONE by myself. dammit, dammit, dammit On 'finishing' the videos, EQ-101.2 & 3, I started the ball rolling, but I immmediately felt like it was a WE thing, 'cause Elizabeth Emotional Intelligence 101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1: The Basics -- http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31, just me) EQ-101.2: Emotional Healing -- http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, Paula and I) EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, Paula and Sharon and I) - Anger, done properly, can be one of the most healing, powerful and freeing feelings we know. Anger, done improperly, can be one of the most destructive, hurtful, separating feelings we know. Like dynamite, with it we can do great things, or ruin great things. --- >> money back from Melinda 8.1.12 04:45 PP = 3214 -446 USPS -51 Safeway (not sure why I used my card for ham and mac&cheese and such... oh well) -10 Facebook (Starbucks gift for Valerie) --- lost another subscriber 7 last month 6 the month before had by lost... 4.3.2013 1.26.13 M.R. Steel Novelties $19.95 1C rsnms824@msn.com 6512 65 Ave N Pinellas Park, FL 33781 - 05:11 Hi. So sorry to see you go! Please let me know if it's something I did or didn't do that caused you to cancel. I hope all is well with you and yours. Best wishes and thanks for being a good Euc customer! take care. - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: rsnms824@msn.com's subscription to Eucs - 1 Pound Subscription Service has been cancelled --- LI-EIN Phebe Baltazzi commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I feel inclined to make a remark concerning @Liz comment on parenhood "People with children and women may be more adept at this skill that marries IQ and EQ because of the patience and skill they have had to exercise in parenting children. Mind you, many parents have failed in this regard. And perhaps that is where our greatest challenge lies as humans - raise our children with an ability to merge their IQ and EQ. I do not have children but given the adult behaviour I have seen of people who were raised by someone, there has been a deficit among parents." : In my opinion out of my own experience I believe that EQ must preexist parenting for it to grow during the upbringing! Although there is the common saying that "we have borrowed the future from our children" still many adults, in practice, see in their children the inability of understanding their own good, e.g. they stop eating this or that food: they do not know enough! As my friend Susan said in another post, we need to take time to slow down and try to observe and cooperate with ...as much as this is possible! When my first child, my son, didn't want to eat "meat soup" or a certain fruit for the intake of Fe, I took small fresh raisins, which he loved, and while smashing them into his mouth he could enjoy food with the necessary vitamins... I was trying, always to find alternatives, according to my knowledge about nutrition, to cover his needs! Another example of how emotional intelligence works from very early age, was (at my own astonishment) a baby of ~8months old that would refuse eating meals from his OWN mother, but would do from me (for a long period) as I believe he would feel/sense the anxiety and anger she felt about her husband...(although her love for her children)! Do these examples have something to tell us about our relation to Nature/Environment and our "Emotional Intelligence", which is the strongest of our expressions in early age ?! Patience, surely grows during the early age of our children, but it is still a choice we have to make; surely a more easy choice than to struggle in one or the other way, for to impose our truth! --- Playing it small in order to fit in with a group of people robs the essence of your soul level self. - I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man. - Dwight L. Moody - Where there is pain, there will be strength. Where there is sadness, there will be wisdom. And where there is fear, there will be renewal. (ND Brochure) Where there was pain, find strength. Where there is sadness, find wisdom. Where there is fear, find renewal. --- Hi Matt, Here are the latest insights about your Facebook Pages. New Directions Emotional Healing Workshops New Likes Talking About This Weekly Total Reach 1,541 1,556 +19,350.0% 747 +507.3% See All Insights · Promote Page EucProducts: Fresh Eucalyptus for Birds, Sugar Gliders and more! New Likes Talking About This Weekly Total Reach 0 10 -65.5% 289 -39.8% See All Insights · Promote Page Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness and success. New Likes Talking About This Weekly Total Reach 0 0 -100.0% 13 -60.6% --- EQ Testing: This is kinda fun, and quick, as it's a Body Language Quiz, to see how you are at identifying what people are feeling based on pictures of their expressions. EQ Quiz (20 questions, 3 min.) http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz Here's a pretty comprehensive, free test EQ Test (146 questions, 45 min.) http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3038 Here are a bunch of free assessments in Positive Psychology! I took the Happiness one (4.2/5.0) and the Gratitude one (42/42), but they also have Depression, Character strength ('grit'), Emotions, Optimism, Relationships, Meaning and more. Sorry, you will need to register first, but it's free and it's the Univ. of Pennsylvania and they do research, not sales, so I've never gotten spam from them. (... or I can send you my id/pw, if you don't want to register) http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter.aspx The ultimate test is the SEI from 6 Seconds.org. This a statistically valid self-assessment, and it's unique because it doesn't just give you a number or score, but, it delivers a process framework that equips people to actually use emotional intelligence. ($150, 20 pages of graphical interpretation and suggestions in 9 dif. areas of 'competencies' plus a half-hour, 1:1 personal 'debrief' by phone) http://www.6seconds.org/tools/sei/ --- 06:19 LinkedIn Ad Try today with $50 of free advertising! Claim your free ads Coupon code: 8RiG 8gPI FZjB Q6kr Tlmk 3wjA (sooo short) headline 20x: body 75x: variation 1: Feel Better, Fast! Transform in our Emotional Intelligence Workshop May 17-19 Fresno, CA variation 2: Feel Better, Fast! Heal your past in our Emotional Intelligence Workshop May 17-19 Fresno, CA variation 3: Engage your Right-brain Add Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to your IQ Workshop May 17-19 Fresno, CA Estimated Target Audience* 22,739 LinkedIn Members Location Fresno, California Area× Age 25-34, 35-54 PPC Bid: $2.14 - 2.26 Daily Budget: $10 (min) Lead Collection: on Show until: 5/10/2013 LinkedIn Ads account activation: $5 Enter your payment information Congratulations! Your account is now active. Bookmark this page and come back to manage your ads and track your spend. Review these best practices to learn how to get the most from your campaigns. https://www.linkedin.com/ads/home?aid=PNi7FLCXqzbAlM7bvvfohoA9qLJgcPwR&src=eml-ads_mktg-btn-international-2&isna=y&pc= --- 06:30 Hey scoob, it's time for you and them talk. Would you hit to Liz's last message and let 'em know we talked, and we're going to get started on Saturday, and that, as we understand this first part, we're to combine all the dif. lists together into specific contact fields, while preserving the Category of where each list came from (right?). thanks. should be fun. - the dad -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Mailing List Database information From: Liz Hickok Date: Tue, April 02, 2013 10:27 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: Michele Theberge , Carrie Lederer , rachel.perelstein@gmail.com Great to hear! Thanks! On a side note, this weekend I realized that we don't have "Website" as one of the categories. I realized that after looking at one of Carrie's mailing lists. If there is a good category in one of our lists, go ahead and add it on and include the information from the list. If we decide to take it off later, that is done easily enough. Thanks again! -Liz --- 06:32 "Melinda Janicki" CC: Paula RE: Demand for Re-Payment Melinda, It's now been over 7 months since you were paid $400 for web marketing services that were never fulfilled. It's time to reimburse the money. The payment was made thru PayPal, and it's too late to 'refund' it, so please SendMoney to my account (matt@2gethelp.com). Please don't make this any harder than it needs to be and cooperate. Another lady did the same thing to us, and we are taking her to court. Thank you. - Matt Perelstein - I'm so sorry for your health issues, Melinda, but thank you for the refund. You've got awesome skills. Maybe contact me again when you get back in the saddle. Take care, and best wishes for your speedy recovery. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Demand for Re-Payment From: Melinda Janicki Date: Wed, April 03, 2013 8:55 am To: Matt Perelstein I am happy to refund you Matt - my recent surgery and health issues really knocked things out and I know you have not received the best support from me - I do apologize. I have sent your request to my bookkeeper and she will refund you by the end of the month. -- -To Your Continued Success- Melinda Melinda Janicki, Online Business Growth Catalyst, Internet Marketing Strategist & Implementation Expert http://OnDemandVirtualServices.com http://OnlineBusinessTransformations.com --- 06:36 have a half-hour, now what? >> D-R ND Brochure Val's email Ads: Google Adwords - NOT Started $30/day LI - Started! $10/day, but is $50 only good for today?? --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. EQ I believe transcends IQ,not only just complement it.In people who indicate high EQ it is easy to realise that they invariably have high IQ as well.The reverse is not always the case.Besides IQ plus a good dosage of EQ ensure better mental functionality in an individual than merely possessing high IQ. By SAMSON QUAIN --- ----------- mcp ------------- EQ Soundbytes Feel it to Heal it! We can't heal what we can't (won't) feel Name it to Tame it! From Blaim to Acclaim! Winning from Within! --- Printed 50 instructions and 100 RA labels , order Euc labels --- 09:48 Sliloh Well, thank for the un-blockage, but it didn't seem to work (or perhaps it re-blocked me). I can get into the site itself, but not wp-login.php. I did realize that I am trying to sign in as Admin/Admin (my default), but it's supposed to be Matt P/2gethelp (right?), so maybe that's what's triggering the lockdown. Would you please reset it again, and let me try again? ... it said to click to send Unlock key, so it said... Your request was received We received a request to email "matt@2gethelp.com" instructions to unlock their access. If that is the email address of a site administrator or someone on the Wordfence alert list, then they have been emailed instructions on how to regain access to this sytem. The instructions we sent will expire 30 minutes from now (but nothing...) Thanks. I understand about having other priorities. Keep me in mind when you get freed up a bit (you do wonderful work). Perhaps, if I can get into the admin screen, I can change most of the text-based references to NDW. - Matt - Hi Matt, You do have quite a few who try logging in. I have set it to only block for 5 minutes, so hopefully you are back in again. If not let me know When you have login attempts from like Russia, I permanently block them. I can fix the workshop stuff including if they are graphics and plan on making MattPerelstein.com look pretty. But I am swamped for at least a week right now. Also thanks for the money! Anita --- Linked in Ads all 3 variations had over 20 impressions, with 0 clicks added pics under review / approved --- Be yourself; everyone else is already taken- Oscar Wilde The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart- Buddha --- Mortgage Alliance disclosures ready to submit to underwriting Ben Henry 619-283-4000 appraisal at some point papers by Friday sign and return --- Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I struggle with this creative area and trying to describe the balance of creativity and compliance. We need structure but too much isn't good. And I see EQ mixed in as we co-create with others. I see all as part of the whole. EQ is so much a part of all of our exchange of value, of listening, and sharing. By Wayne Hall --- There is no peace but inner peace. There is no peace better than inner peace. - mcp Happiness is a Choice, but it's also Skill... learn how! --- 3:09 FB-ND FB-NDG (choices2.jpg) People are often surprised, very pleasantly surprised, when they realize how many Choices they have, emotionally! Has it hit you yet, that your Happiness really is your Choice?! --- We have gobs of choices... every moment of every day... we get to Choose to be happy, or not. The realization that we get to choose how we think, feel and act, is the ultimate power and control over our own lives... and I believe it may be the root of why EQ is so freeing and magical... EQ gives us so many choices! Happiness really is a choice (right?). --- We have gobs of choices! Every moment of every day... we get to Choose to be happy, or not. The realization that we get to choose how we think, feel and act, gives us ultimate power and control over our own lives. ... and I believe this concept, Emotional Responsibility, may be the root of why and how EQ is so freeing and magical and life-changing. EQ gives us choices! So, Happiness really is a choice. (right?) --- 3:34 FB-NDG I did this yesterday, here in my office. I had been feeling aggetated all day, nothing specific, just uneasy, tense and grumpy. So, I pushed my chair back, stood up, and let 'er rip... whatever wanted to come out, I let it. Not super loud, but very super intense(!) as I let my body tighten, and pressure build to 100%. It started with tears... then on to anger (teeth-clenched, growling, repeat until complete)(which I turned to power/motivation/drive)... finally dissolving into more tears.... then release, and relief. so nice. took maybe 5-7 min. felt/feels awesome. We CAN release Negatives, and we CAN fill up with Positives, consciously, powerfully, and wonderfully! yay us. --- FB-NDG Go Glori (I love the way you write, btw, so please write on...). Hey Melann, do you still have that video? is it VHS? Can I have a copy?!? Who took it? And, yeah, thanks for showing your face! Every time I've asked people (our peoples, NDers), if they minded showing their face, or using their name, they/we are Happy to share, like you. You're right, we don't have to hide what happened anymore!! : 0) 3:42 (not posted, I tend to overwhelm) Actually, I just realized... we don't have to tell our whole life story to get the point across! The story isn't the point, anyway... the point is (usually), either the release of the negative feelings we've been holding onto forever... or better yet, the change in the underlying, limiting, negative, generalized, personalized, conscious or unconscious meanings and Belief Systems (bs) we had put on ourselves, our families, and our lives ... right? --- Laughing on the subway https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=108638729333547 --- FB-NDG! If you had a friend who spoke to you the way you speak to you, how long would they be your friend? (ND testimonial, EQ testimonial) Tom O'Callaghan Forever.I make me happy. I know where I stand in this world. - 4:03 Right on, Tom... it seems like you ARE nice to yourself, and you're almost always wearing a smile, so it's working! :) me, too. I like how I speak to myself these days, as I'm hoping to get along with me, and be my friend, for a long, long time! (I even say 'Please' and 'Thank you' sometimes, when I need something of me). Empathy starts with self-empathy. Love starts with self-love. so, Friendship starts with self-friendship, too. --- Pledging $25.00 on Kickstarter. Pay: Mendocino Film Festival, Kickstarter, Inc. via Kickstarter, Inc. Valid From: April 03, 2013 Valid Until: August 08, 2013 Alex and Marshall made a video Silent Film Giants & Alloy Orchestra at Mendocino Film Fest --- 4:40 LF group RE: April 1 Class, Assignment #4 Hi. Here it is... a dude from LF called, and sent it over. He also strongly suggested going to the web feature this time, as there's important information there. https://www.landmarkeducation.com/Program_Media.aspx?g=topics&f=4&prog=173 Rock on... - Matt --- 4:41 martin.forbes@agnity.com Birthday Outing Hi Martin, This is Matt... we had Mac & Cheese out last week, and planned to get together again for my birthday, right? Well, I am working from home in Fort Bragg this week (yay!), so we'll have to postpone... but not for long. How about next Wednesday, 4/10? There's a great pizza place in San Rafael, Pizza Orgasmica, who has all-you-can-eat on Mondays and Wednesdays... how'z that sound? I can give you lift from the ferry, then back to your place after, ok? Which ferry? Hope you're well, and kickin' butt in sales (or whatever you're scheming!). talk soon. - Matt 916-599-8597 (cell) --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... & Mary - having read some of the comments of others I'd like to point out that the research says that emotional wounds are more deeply felt than physical wounds. There is an old adage that is now recognised as being absolutely 100% wrong; it goes "sticks & stones may break my bones & words can never hurt me". Apparently the reality is closer to "sticks & stones may break my bones & words may wound & scar me forever". The psychology & psychological damage of verbal & emotional abuse started being recognised in the late 1980's & is very well established nowadays. Just look up the Duluth Model & the Power & Control Wheel: http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf By Rosemarie Stabback - How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? If you accept and have a true respect for your feelings, you can share them, first with yourself and then with those who you want to share intimacy with. Intimacy or 'into me you see', is the magic in friendships, relationships, parenting, marriages etc. Not having to hide behind defenses, but witnessing each other, for who we truly are, is what LOVE and meaningful connections are all about. Also, it is amazing when you share feelings, it gives others permission to follow, if they choose to. By Marilyn Weingard --- 6 sec seminar Brain Neuroscience for EQ (D-R) http://www.6seconds.org/2013/03/20/eq-brain-neuroscience/ --- "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia --- Ordered a BUNCH of boxes 2 shoeboxes 2 starters 3 game boxes 2 3' 2 2' ---- 11x --- stuff slept in bed, no alarm, only 1 cat, very nice! held hands with paula in the morning, in bed. she was told to 'clock out' about 1pm yesterday, first time ever --- 4.4 Joe's in ER "Hey you... heard about Joe in ER... ouch! Hang in there, and let us know what you need." "Thank you, Matt" - "Let us know what you need." How do you know what you need, if you don't know you? How can you let others support you, if you don't know how to be supported? or what you need support on, in what way, that works best for you? Help improve this slogan --> "Add right-brain Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to left-brain IQ, and BOOM!" How do we explain EQ to 'rest' of the world, and its benefits, and introduce the EQ acronym, in only 10 words or less (preferably 5 or less)?!? The above is the best I've come up with but it isn't catchy, or sexy, or memorable. Happiness is a Choice. EQ can show you how to choose wisely. EQ can help EQ can show you your choices. EQ can help you overcome. EQ is the answer. EQ = Love. IQ + EQ = LOL !! EQ heals. EQ supports. EQ connects. EQ loves. EQ helps us feel loved. EQ helps us show love. EQ helps us love ourselves. EQ helps us be better friends. EQ helps us be better lovers. EQ helps us think better. EQ helps us succeed (at whatever we want to succeed at). EQ gives us choices... and EQ helps us choose, wisely, intelligently, and with our eyes, and hearts, wide open. EQ gives us control. EQ gives us the ability to take control of our own Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours (what else is there?). EQ helps us create. EQ helps us imagine. (and if we don't like some ugly memories, EQ (and NLP) help us Re-imagine them, so they don't bother us anymore!) EQ helps us Do, Be, and Have. EQ can liven the soul. EQ can lighten the heart. EQ can release the burden. EQ can relieve the stress. EQ can deal with the anger (and teach us how to use our anger as THE most powerful feeling we have!) EQ asks the best questions, so you can kick-butt on the answers. EQ gives us control. EQ gives us Personal Power! EQ gives us hope. EQ gives us life. EQRocks! I am pro-anger! I believe strongly in acknowledging, understanding, ACCEPTing, learning from, releasing, and USING our anger to CREATE, not destroy. WHAT DO YOU WANT? Often, we have to use our Anger to get it. Not to bully, but to create. there's a component of anger in every winner. There's a righteous anger that true leaders feel, express, focus, SHARE, and that we grab on to, and focus some of our anger that same way... that's called following, and engaging, and being a good team-member... and making sh*t happen. 10:27 Write to Ray Ray, dammit, we gotta talk! You know TOO MUCH to not be sharing this! You are TOO GOOD with kiddos, to not be helping LOTS of them, and training trainers how to do what you, and I, know how to do! Ok, if we can't write a whole book together, how about a short one just on how to deal with Anger? I think you agree that Anger is the THE most mis-understood, underrated, disrespected, feared, ignored, closeted feeling we have... AND... probably THE most powerful, focussing, make-sh*t-happen, motivate ourselves, keep our boundaries, be true to our school, make something of our lives feelings we have, too! How's this for a lead in? "No one has ever made you angry." ... and ... "No one has ever hurt your feelings." "What if I called you names? That would make you mad, right? What if I called you a 'lilly-livered, chicken-scratchin', pink-eyed son of a bobtailed hyena?' Oh, you're not mad? How did you do that, I thought someone calling you names makes you angry?" Good news -- We get to decide! No one can make us angry, or hurt our feelings, without our permission... it's totally, 100%, completely up to US! People CAN hurt us physically without our permission, but they CANNOT hurt us emotionally, without our involvement. We are IN CHARGE of our thoughts, and our thoughts create our feelings. If I thought you were being mean and attacking me, I would probably feel bad, sad, angry, right? But if I thought, you were just being a bone-head, and you're not serious, we can laugh it off. WE GET TO DECIDE, to Choose, every minute of every day, how the OUTside world is gonna effect us on the INside. We get the choose what we think, how we feel, and especially, how we behave!" (something like that -- (that's new)). we just taped a half-hour show on Anger, as I think it's a most-awesome subject! In this session we 'explained' anger -- from the benefits, understanding, left-brain POV -- but I'd like to do another that SHOWS anger, so they can See how it's done, and how it's Not done, which'll be way more memorable. EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16) (btw, we're not selling anything here, exc. the proper use, and respect, of anger) Whatchathink? Anyone else have ideas/wanna jump in here? How do we best get this out to the world?!? (people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ... and it makes me Angry that I have failed to get this info to them sooner/faster/more clear/more usable/more memorable.) --- So, here's the 2nd part of Jim's sharing on his self-berating behaviour, that he learned from his uncle.. and he combatted it by Imagining putting duct tape over the abusers mouth... AWESOME! ... and there's an Anger-component to that. We, as kiddos, get beaten down, and judged, and hurt, and it leaves us feeling little, and powerless, and less than (or we compensate by thinking we're More than, above, better than, and we pull power and control trips on ourselves and others). Either way, we're separate, unequal, disconnected, apart from (rather than 'a part of'). Not good, not healthy, not productive, or effective, or successful, or happy, or fun, or even sane. --- 11:11 Thanks for the guesses, guys. (I guess you could vote again, and ties are fine) We're at 44,840x and counting... @Kevin, you had some serious left-brain going on there... then ended it with some right-brain "let's go for it!"... nice going! And you're right, if we invite others, it could happen faster (a 'stretch goal'... I like the concept). I'm still pretty amazed at the number of people that have even HEARD of Emotional Intelligence or EQ, and are interested in learning more! Makes me happy, inspires me to continue and gives me hope for a better world. EQRocks! --- Ray, we gotta talk, dammit! You know TOO MUCH to not be sharing this! You are TOO GOOD with kiddos, to not be helping LOTS of them, and training trainers how to do what you, and I, know how to do! Ok, if we can't write a whole book together, how about a short one just on how to deal with Anger? I think you agree that Anger is the THE most mis-understood, underrated, disrespected, feared, ignored, closeted feeling we have... AND... probably THE most powerful, focussing, make-sh*t-happen, motivate ourselves, keep our boundaries, be true to our school, make something of our lives feelings we have, too! How's this for a lead in? "No one has ever made you angry." ... and ... "No one has ever hurt your feelings." "What if I called you names? That would make you mad, right? What if I called you a 'lilly-livered, chicken-scratchin', pink-eyed son of a bobtailed hyena?' Oh, you're not mad? How did you do that, I thought someone calling you names makes you angry?" Good news -- We get to decide! No one can make us angry, or hurt our feelings, without our permission... it's totally, 100%, completely up to US! People CAN hurt us physically without our permission, but they CANNOT hurt us emotionally, without our involvement. We are IN CHARGE of our thoughts, and our thoughts create our feelings. If I thought you were being mean and attacking me, I would probably feel bad, sad, angry, right? But if I thought, you were just being a bone-head, and you're not serious, we can laugh it off. WE GET TO DECIDE, to Choose, every minute of every day, how the OUTside world is gonna effect us on the INside. We get the choose what we think, how we feel, and especially, how we behave!" (something like that -- (that's new)). We just taped a half-hour show on Anger, as I think it's a most-awesome subject! In this session we 'explained' anger -- from the benefits, understanding, left-brain POV -- but I'd like to do another that SHOWS anger, so they can See how it's done, and how it's Not done, which'll be way more memorable. EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16) (btw, we're not selling anything here, exc. the proper use, and respect, of anger) Whatchathink? Anyone else have ideas/wanna jump in here? How do we best get this out to the world?!? (people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ... and it makes me Angry that I have failed to get this info to them sooner/faster/more clear/more usable/more memorable.) - So, here's the 2nd part of Jim's sharing on the self-berating that he learned from his uncle trashing him.. Notice that he combatted those nasty sounds and pictures by Imagining putting duct tape over the abusers mouth... AWESOME (and life-changing, and oh, so simple!) But there's an Anger-component to that that is critical and very healing, as well. We, as kiddos, get beaten down, and judged, and hurt, and traumatized, and it leaves us feeling little, and powerless, and less than (or we compensate by telling ourselves we're More than, above, better than, and we get judgemental and pull power trips and try to control ourselves and others). Either way, we're left feeling separate, unequal, disconnected, apart from (rather than 'a part of'). Not good, not healthy, not productive, or effective, or successful, or happy, or fun, or even sane. This emotional healing work is fast, and simple, and effective, and life-altering, and connecting, and healing, and profound, and it can also be uplifting, and hope-producing, and empathy-building, and compassion-generating, and team-making, and successful, and effective, and yes, even fun (NOTE: the thing it ain't is 'easy'... in fact, it may well be some of the 'hardest' things we ever do in our lives. BUT, conquering it, dealing head-on with our past hurt, anger, sadness and trauma, gives us Power, and a sense of Control over our lives, and let's us know that NOTHING can beat us, keep us down or kick our butts... so we CAN have empathy for others, we CAN connect, we CAN open our hearts, we CAN let love in and we CAN live a happy, successful, loving, integrated, socially-conscious life! EQRocks! --- 11:41 Lourie Brown Glad you're feeling better! How do you keep a good attitude, when your body feels like crap?? (it can be done, but it takes advanced EQ skills, right?). Yay for Nikki! tho' getting physical isn't too cool, it sounds like Mandy may have had it coming, ey?!? Hope it helps. I don't know the issue with Brett, but I'm sure willing to help them work thru whatever... How'z Brett, himself? Haven't talked to him. Did the class help any in his decision to be strong, and feel not? I've been thinking of Megs every day. My birthday is tomorrow so that would be most cool!! Let's make it $100, k? luv ya! - me - Oh I'm hangin in there. I have been sick alot. I wanted to share with you how KICK ASS Nikki is doing. Wow...she is setting people straight left and right LOL. Think maybe we sprinkled a little too much pixie dust on her tho. Her older sister Mandy came over to Nikki's Mom's and started in on Nikki. Nikki finally had enough....she whipped Mandy's ass right there in the front yard. Megan I Brett were there, Brett grabs Nikki's Mother to pull her out of it and keep her from getting hurt, and he just let Nikki introduce to Mandy that when she said "I'm through being the victim" she damned well meant it LMAO!!!! She said that since ND she and her Mom have grown very close, they can talk now and it has been such a blessing. She is really struggling with the Brett issue, she wants to just put it behind her, but she is still processing, and still hurting over that. She didn't work on it in ND because she didn't want people to think bad of Brett. But I think when they come back to the next class they need to work on that. I don't know what to do or say that helps that one....it will hurt for a long time. Anyway...I had to share that with you. I was so proud of Nikki lol. Our Meg's is going to have Liam very soon. Any day now, she is already dialated to a 2 and I will be shocked if she makes it past this weekend. I am very excited. I know she will want to call you when he's born. Hope all is well with you and Paula. I will be sending the money we owe out of my next pay check. It's 150.00??? Thank you for being so patient & willing to work with us on that. Give Paula huggs XOXO ND testimonial I wanted to share with you how KICK ASS Nikki is doing. Wow...she is setting people straight left and right LOL. --- 11:46 Jay Rutherdale Matt, have a really great birthday my friend! Like · · Unfollow Post · See Friendship Matt Perelstein Thanks, Jay Snarferdale!! You're a day early, but you were still 2nd to wish me an early HB -- thanks... it makes it stretch out longer, and I get to enjoy it longer! (I've been sending people HB's either early, or late, when they've forgotten all about it, and they get to re-enjoy it!). You rock! --- I received your order for fresh Euc Branches -- thanks! Your order should go out on Monday, as tomorrow is my birthday and I'm not doing any orders tomorrow. Any special requests? I usually send branches some with leaves on, and some clean, straight and bare, to give you the most variety... sound good? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- THIS STUFF IS TOTALLY STUPID AND I’M LEAVING THIS GROUP. IF WE ARE GOING TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD WE CAN’T BE BOGGED DOWN AND DISTRACTED BY THINKING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS. Okay, just kidding…but I’m curious to hear what EQ strategies you used during the seconds between reading the previous statement, and this one! Whoa... you got me, there, Peter... nice going! My first thought was, 'well, I'm deleting this one'... then my next thought was, "wow, ouch... too bad for you."... and then "bye" (having moved a lot as a kid, I'm really good at letting people go... too good, sometimes). ... but you're right... watching our thoughts, and feelings is a great way to learn about ourselves! Good lesson... well done. --- I'm sorry that event happened to you, Hope! And I'm sorry it's still bothering you. Yet, just because you have not found a way to heal that trauma, doesn't make me wrong... because I have seen it happen hundreds/many, many times. In fact, if you're willing, try it right now... close your eyes and start the picture with the truck going by, and you're a little girl, and everything's fine... and as you look up to see your dad's face... CHANGE the expression he has... change the Meaning that someone died... change the whole scene HOWEVER you'd like... have it blow up into snowflakes, or turn into a grand celebration, or have your dad smile, and hug you and lift you into the air --- Re-imagine the whole thing! Remember, emotionally, it doesn't really matter what happened, what matters is the meaning we place on what happened... what we think/believe/decide/perceive/feel/embody. Our minds don't really know the dif. between real and imagined, so if you have a yucky memory, we can often CHANGE it, here and now, and forever more. I hope you can find peace. --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson Chapter One I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in..I am lost..I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter Two I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. Chapter Three I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. Chapter Four I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter Five I walk down another street. One lives consciously and pays attention to the best of one's ability. Two steps forward one back. eventually it becomes a way of life. When I realized that the pain of living in the muck became greater than the pain of change, I was on my way. Carl Jung says that it is the difference between Neurotic suffering and legitimate suffering. I like the landlord metaphor too. My family live here now just to remind me where I came from...when I become too complacent. I don't teach kids the duck tape method, I teach their parents it. The parents often have out dated information that does not work in an ever changing world and sometimes these parents had parents who taught them with a heavy hand. The trauma seems to dig the ruts deep and needs deep work to get out of. Like you say, "it is doable." By jim mandelin --- Nick C. Cicchino, MABC commented on How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? @Tinker: After reading your post, the first thought that came to my mind was this. You said you notice and pay attention to your feelings, and that you're trusting your feelings more. Which brought me to my thought: If you love and respect yourself, there is no need to make decisions on your feelings. Their YOURS. Nobody loves YOU more than YOU. That is my belief. Its what I learned at a very early age. If one doesn't love themselves, they can never love another. Your feelings are the essence of who and what we are. Embrace them, understand them, believe in them, and always share them the ones you love. Just my take on it. --- Matt: - It is so difficult for me to express what I mean, please forgive me for that, - I have dealt with the trauma, I have failed to fully explain that what bothers me is NOT THAT I SAW IT, but that we failed to do something about it... - Take Jesus Christ and his crucifixion what is the sin? - That we let it happen! - What is the sin, that in our HOPE for a better world, we came to the USA rather than fight, even if it meant perishing but do something about it... - Fear paralyzes and never leaves us... - So... I wake up because how many more are suffering INDIGNITIES and yet we sit idle and let it happen? - We are in the Middle East fighting wars claiming that our purpose is to take democratic processes the world over and yet, Cuba remains only 90 miles away, so people all over the world call us HYPOCRITES because we are in the Middle East for economic purposes and that is OIL... - So... what wakes me up is the realization that CUBA POSES A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER because... when we allowed P. Kennedy to sign off on our RIGHT TO FIGHT FOR THE FREEDOM OF CUBA to prevent a nuclear disaster we sent a clear signal to the world of our weakness... and to what extent we were willing to go to preserve peace... - Just look at Iran... now North Korea... that is what wakes me up at night... As a CHILD I was unable to do anything about it... AS AN ADULT I FEAR IT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN ALL OVER AGAIN... that SIR is what wakes me up - Ok, Hope, I hear you! And now I understand better your view on things. Thanks for sharing your fears... Here are a few points to consider (some right-brain, some left-brain): - I agree with you! We are NOT doing enough... but I am not going to war against the middle east or cuba... I am going to war against Ignorance, and negative, unconscious habits and beliefs, and self-loathing, and shame, and misplaced anger, and resentment, and revenge, and lack of empathy, and compassion, for our fellow man. I believe I AM doing something about it... yellin' from the rooftops to whoever will listen, that EQ could very possibly change/save our world, from the inside out. (is that why you are here, in this group, too?) - "We failed to do something about it." is still a belief system, a Meaning, that you have placed on these events... and that's waking you up at night in terror. - As Ray said, the belief systems (that we fondly call bs) are yours... you made 'em, you kept 'em going all these years, you're actively finding evidence to prove to yourself that they are true and accurate, and... and you can change them (or at least ease up on 'em a little, so you can get some rest!) I'm not sure motivation-by-guilt is all that healthy, tho' it can be effective (for awhile). - You did not have ANYthing to do with your friend's dad's shooting, and I'm not sure there was much of anything you could have done about it, especially After it happened, and you were a kid. Sometimes we gotta add some IQ (reality, common sense, logic) to our EQ (fear, anger, panic, horror) to slow us down, help us function, and calm our fears. - Our parents didn't teach us this stuff because they didn't know (and sadly, still don't). Now that we know, we can be better parents, friends, neighbors, and people. It is now OUR RESPONSIBILITY to Teach/Show/Explain/Live/Model/Encourage/Demand/Mandate that EQ be taught to EVERYONE, especially our kiddos. - I choose not to live in fear. - EQRocks! --- THIS STUFF IS TOTALLY STUPID AND I’M LEAVING THIS GROUP. IF WE ARE GOING TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD WE CAN’T BE BOGGED DOWN AND DISTRACTED BY THINKING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS. Matt...after reading your profile and enthusiasm for EI, I'm feeling very complimented by your post, thanks! By Peter McManus --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Wes, The capacities of the brain are a double edged sword in many ways. The imagination that makes us creative and helps us avoid danger is the same one that creates anxiety disorders and phobias. The anger that might very well save our lives someday, could very well cost us our lives as well. Shame that may stop people from doing some horrendous things (it often doesn't and just make life miserable afterward) can also cause them to take their own lives. It's all a question of learning how to harness it for more good than bad. By Ray Mathis --- >> Contest: most creative way to encourage EQ --- I think Dwayne Wade had the EQ/wisdom to bring the big 3 (now 4) together, and take a step back, and let LeBron take the spotlight. Beautifully managed, DWade... and I'll bet some/a lot of it came from his ugly divorce... I'll bet he got help, and it made him wise and calm, and a great dad, and awesome teammate. --- 3:05 FB-ND --------- mcp ---------- "The capacities of the brain are a double-edged sword in many ways. The imagination that makes us creative and helps us avoid danger is the same one that creates anxiety disorders and phobias. The anger that might very well save our lives someday, could very well cost us our lives, as well. The shame that stops people from doing horrendous things can cause some to take their own lives. It's all a question of learning how to harness it for more good than bad." - Ray Mathis Ray's The Ten Emotional "Tools" #1 To understand and appreciate the role emotion plays in everyday life #2 To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) and Other Acceptance (UOA) #3 To have an Internal Locus of Control (a.k.a. inner) #4 To recognize irrational thinking in ourselves and others #5 To know how to correct irrational thinking in ourselves, and in others #6 To have a step-by-step approach to troublesome life events #7 To Assert ourselves effectively, but tactfully using I-Messages #8 To recognize when we and others have Mistaken Goals #9 To have a simple way to evaluate our own thoughts, feelings and actions #10 To understand why change is hard, and what it takes to make changes --- "Hurt is based on perspective" What would be your response IF ... Hi Ray, I agree with you on the metaphor & analogy concept, & I've found that David Grove's Clean Language can be a useful way for people understand their own metaphors. What you find helpful for you is likely to be unique to you. Me, I've found that for many folk realising they've been carrying an internal wound & then finding a way to heal it is a simple story that works for them. & that aligns with the research that finds when sad or bad stuff happens, we often feel pain - the body has a limited set responses & we have many words for emotions. It is all about a story, a habit & finding healthy/useful/effective ways to do our own inner work; while retaining our humanity. I've read some quite odd definitions of what detatchment is across the years - quite often the reality of being human seems to get lost in translation. By Rosemarie Stabback --- Brendon Burchard Live. Love. Matter. At the end of my life, I will ask myself: - Did I live? - Did I love? - Did I matter? yes, yes and yes... - mcp --- I'm not friends on FB with Ray Mathis! on his wall: "You were my absolute favorite favorite favorite teacher!!!" Mobile Phones (815) 353-5312 Email ray.mathis.56@facebook.com --- We want to inform you that your SendOutCards account has shown no activity in more than 18 months and you have 57 points remaining in your account. --- ----------- mcp ----------- Take me as i am or live without my love. --- PP = 3401 +5x today +$10 for cashback reward --- Go, Peter!! Looks like you're serious about learning EQ! Hey, if you're a reader, I'll get you a copy of Doc's book, that many of my teachings are based on... interested? Let me know if you have any questions! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: New Subscriber - 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) - 4/4/2013 From: Peter McManus Date: Thu, April 04, 2013 1:41 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hello Matt Perelstein, You have a new signup for: 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) Your new contact's information is: Name: Peter McManus Company: Email: peter@fivestarfreight.net IP Address: 173.14.201.237 --- >> write to Waldshmidt >> Start ND file for May 17 2013 --- LI-EIN Zeno Swijtink just joined! --- 4:42 euc testimonial Thank You for the great service as usual! - SB --- EQ testimonial (big time!) Matt, below is my story. I hope it's what you're looking for. The beginning is pretty heavy hitting but all true. Let me know what you think. Glori My Story of How I learned EQ Or How I Learned to Make My Life Work For Me Instead of Against Me By Glori Celis I'll start at the beginning of when I knew beyond any doubt when my life or should I say I was out of control. I was a young mother of a 2 year old little boy and an almost 1 year old little girl. I had a really bad temper back then. At the time I didn't know it was a bad temper because when I was growing up my mother got mad for every little thing too. So here I am with 2 little ones and I'm enraged every day. I knew it wasn't right to hit toddlers hard but I thought if they did something wrong I needed to "swat" them. One HUGE fear that I had and it was on my mind on a regular basis was that I would not be able to control my temper and I'd lose it and I'd accidentally kill one of my children. One day my 2 year old little boy did something and I hit him on his inner thigh and it left a welt. I understood then that I crossed a line and that if I didn't get help I would end up killing one of my kids. Right after I hit my baby I got on the phone and I called CPS (Child Protective Services) on myself. I told them I needed help cause I was scared of my anger. They got me free day care so I got to have some time to myself which helped but it didn't change my bad temper. I told my husband, the father of my kids I needed to go to counseling and the only way I would go is if he called for me and made the appointment. I was terrified that a counselor was just going to tell me what I already knew that I was no good. My husband made the appointment and I started counseling. When I saw the counselor it was the first time I really felt like anybody really understood what I was saying or was even interested in what I had to say. I was in weekly therapy for 7 years straight. It really started my road to EQ although I didn't know what EQ was back then. All I knew was that I was feeling better more often and I was learning to see things differently. I had choices I never knew I had. I have been learning about EQ now for over 30 years now. My 2 year old baby boy is now 33 years old. Because I got help I didn't end up in prison "accidentally" killing one of my 4 children. I'm still learning what I feel and the beliefs that I have that create those feelings. I'm a TOTALLY different person internally than I was 30 years ago. EQ is what I'm passionate about. It literally changed my life and the lives of my children. What surprises me most is how extremely important EQ is in changing people's lives for the better and how little it is valued as a whole in this world. I know EQ is gaining momentum but we as people on this planet have a long way to go. What I learned by studying EQ was that I'm in charge of my own experience, feelings and choices I make. I'm responsible for my life. I learned to stop blaming others or situations for what I saw was wrong in me or my world. One thing I got rid of was my rage. I no longer have a bad temper and that alone is worth a million dollars. I never used to think I had anything to be grateful for. I've learned to be grateful for myself, the amazing people I have in my life and the things I have. I'm not afraid of my feelings anymore. I've learned not to be so judgmental. I believe the more EQ someone has the happier they are. If you have a little EQ you can be a little happy. If you have a lot of EQ you can be a lot happy. I believe the better we know ourselves the better our lives can be. I'm still learning how awesome a person I am and what an awesome person I've always been. Without EQ I would have never known that. I believe we are all here for a reason EQ helps us to figure out that reason. EQ is a lifelong study of yourself and aren't we all worth it? - Glori - 4:51 awesome, Awesome, AWESOME, Glori -- this is really quite Wonderful, and very well written -- thanks so much! Now go bug Lynda for hers, too, k? You might need to help her write... maybe she talks, you type(?)... but she has a wonderful story to tell, too. Troy, too. THANKS for being an EQ advocate with me! Would you be up for posting this on the ND group?! I hope you're proud of it, and I'd love for others to be able to read it, too. you rock. - Matt --- ND Testimonial One thing I got rid of was my rage. I no longer have a bad temper and that alone is worth a million dollars. - Glori --- Lourie Brown, Because my friend, (ND testimonial) I have an attitude of gratitude. When the seriousness of my illness wieghs heavy on me and I find myself frustrated and depressed, I put a time limit (24 Hrs) that I allow myself to sit on the pitty pot....and I just remember that I'm not dead yet LOL, it could be much worse like Cancer etc. To be honest Matt I couldn't tell you how I get up everyday, run my bosses entire business for him alone when it used to take 4 people. I just have always felt like I have a disease, but it doesn't have me :o) I laughed at Micha the other day and told her she couldn't hack my life. But I think because I raised my kids alone, and have seen alot of tough stuff in this life I just always get up out of necessity. Sometimes it does get heavy, I am just a lot more private about my pain, so rarely do people ever see how bad it is beneath the surface...but I accept my purpose here in this life and I keep that in mind. Mandy deserved every bit of it. She is abusive and very twisted. I spent an hour with her across from me at the dinner table once and I wanted to punch her LOL And sometimes when you put a bully in thier place....you don't have to do it twice lol. I would not have advised Nikki to beat the crap out of her sister, but I am happy about the changes in her that gave her the power to stand up and say get out of my house!!! Megan called me afterward lauhing so hard...oh well. Can't put whoop ass back into the can right. Wow...your birthday huh. Well Happy Birthday!! AND...Megan is dialted to a 2 or 3, she lost her plug today and it would not surprise me if we end up in the hospital this eve or tomorrow. LOL I will call you when I take her in. I am really excited. Brett is ok. He is way too much like me I'm afraid. But he & Nik will be back for ND in May or June. They are getting an apt with one of his buddies Rudy very soon. And then Nik will move in with him. They are engaged now too. I gave Brett my wedding set. A Georgeous diamond wedding set worth about 4 grand!!! Brett told me Nikki started balling...shes so cute. She was blown away. I thanked her for loving my son enough to get past some big hurts...and I told her the reason I gave the set to Brett for her was because I knew in my heart that she would have bragged and shown off a 99.00 Wal Mart ring and would have been just as proud of it. I think Paula will love her. She's such a sweetheart. Well guess I better close up shop and go home and see how Megan is doing. Take care k Wo --- Sara Frances 12 2' pieces, 12 3' pieces, and 12 4' pieces I'm guessing about 8 lbs., all wrapped in a 4' bundle. not sure about the shipping on that. Can you find out, or should I call tomorrow? http://www.beakapoo.com/sitebuilder/images/largebeakapoogym-354x325.jpg --- * CONTEST TIME * Our wonderful group is now at 44,818 members. On what date do you think we will reach 45,000 members? Matt - I knew zilch about EI/EQ prior to taking an elective grad course in Fall '09, "The Human Side of Project Leadership" at Stevens Institute of Technology. I was surprised to realize I was unaware of EI concepts, the notion of an emotionally intelligent brain vs. IQ ... I decided I would wholeheartedly/enthusiastically resume to study/practice EI after earning the Masters in Systems Engineering in early 2012. The textbook for that class, “Developing Management Skills” [Whetten/Cameron], Doctor Dan’s book, “EI – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”, The EI Network group (including numerous members, hosts and contributors that post here and in related groups), EQ Updates from Six Seconds, et al have made a significant difference on that front. So, merci for noticing my EQ contribution even as it tangos with my long-standing dominant left-brain activity. Like you, I am tremendously inspired and rewarded to see others that yearn to learn more about EI. Why? EI provides overarching benefits in respect to our personal/business interactions, communications and facilitates smoother attainment of our personal/shared goals. By Kevin Burns --- How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? I think feelings are what make us who we are - without feelings we are not really human. Different influencing affect our feelings - look at endorphins , dance music exercise etc - likewise what we eat - how many of us can not function without caffeine in the morning...these things can really affect your moods and in turn your feelings. In terms of emotional feelings they can fluctuate from happy , sad, pleasurable , humor, serious depending on the circumstances and surroundings. The human brain is way more clever than any computer and we often hear don't let your heart rule your head. feelings need to be address at any giving time thus addressing how and why you feel as you do . No one can ever make you feel in adequate without your consent and unless you have respect for yourself no one else will have respect for you . People tend to perhaps have a misconception to think that feelings are more feminine than masculine - nonsense amongst the most passionate successful people I am blessed to know are the people who have feelings which not only make a huge difference to them expressing them but also the ripple affect that it causes when their work has touched the life of others. I don't ever think it is wise to bottle up your feelings that can be dangerous to your health and well being and over analysis causes paralysis . if you were to lie in a hospital bed with a serious illness and could feel nothing then you would be very grateful of the ability to feel , be human and I say let it go let it flow:) By Anita Rooney FIRP CertRP- CEO ARK Recruitment --- "Snow White", good, dif., insteresting not great, but cool monsters and graphics slept in bed, on purpose, no dogs (exc. Spot, on p's side) --- 4.5 (guess what day it is -- it's my Birthday, and I'll cry if I want to -- stuck in my head this morning) 04:20 up, to pee, stayed up espn: lots of college sports scandal. abusive coaching, paying players, changing grades final 4 this weekend, girls and guys NBA (and NHL) playoffs start in a week or so (Kings in last, Heat clinched first) 05:39 Wayne H. commented on 7 Traits of Super Teams You may consider "Excellence in Decision making" which I imagine is driven by a willingness to listen, continuous skill development, continuous learning, a willingness to admit to mistakes quickly and high levels of information sharing. - --------- mcp ------------- Pat Vanderveer (Ban) commented on What is the Secret of Success? When your internal objectives match your external achievements and when people are more important than systems and policies --- Marissa H. Why Resisting Your Emotions Actually Intensifies Them Why Resisting Your Emotions Actually Intensifies Them mindbodygreen.com Do you resist your emotions, or do you allow yourself to feel your feelings fully? I used to resist my emotions and only welcomed the good feelings, while fighting back the ones that seemed too... - 05:45 -------- mcp ----------- Vasudevan R Two Days Workshop on"MASTERING YOUR EMOTIONS" MASTERING YOUR EMOTIONS In these days of Team oriented, Interpersonal, Collaborative and Cooperative Environment Mastering and Balancing Emotions play an important role in Work place, Society, Community and Family as well Keeping it in mind we at CAREER GROWTH ACADEMY have conceptualized an innovative and powerful Workshop entitled “Mastering Your Emotions”. It’s a two day workshop includes the following modules: 1. Emotional Intelligence– The need of the Hour 2. Managing Stress 3. Managing Anger 4. Overcoming Depression 5. Managing Conflicts - 12 Essential Skills 6. Managing Frustration in cool ways 7. Make work simple – To avoid Stress and Tension 8. Make work Fun 9. Managing Time effectively 10. Setting goals and Priorities to be Tension free 11. Overcoming Anxiety 12. Dealing with difficult people The program will be Interactive, Informative and Interactive with Activities, Role-Plays, Case Studies, Slide shows and Videos. Executives, Supervisors, Staff, Workers of organizations will get immense benefit out this programme. The program will benefit Faculties and Students of Educational Institutions too. For organizing this program at your premises please contact: R.Vasudevan Chief Trainer Career Growth Academy - Chennai Vasman1999@yahoo.com 9840872844 --- I seem to have switched from (!) as the main excitement generator/place-holder/pointer, to ---------- mcp ---------- ok, good to know. one of my bigger struggles, writing, is ALL CAP, Mine-Caps, or no caps (like everyone else) it used to be You vs. I/we/us, not as much anymore, as I've trained myself away from it. being conscious to be conscious consciously conscious. we're conscious -- you can tell if you're moving around and NOT running into any/many walls or furniture -- but are we conscious of being conscious? we have sooo many deep-seated belief systems about ourselves that are UNConscious. make 'em conscious, so you/we can deal with 'em. please. walking around unconsciously conscious isn't always a good thing. ---------------- mcp -------------- good to know. ------------- mcp ------------ Feelings = me, being real Feelings = the 'real' me Right-brain = Real Left-brain can be manipulated with incorrect information, bs from childhood, and games you play in your head. but (to me) right-brain seems more 'real', more genuine, deeper, more natural, and more fun. Let 'er rip, and then let 'er go. Get in, Get it out, Get on... we want to learn stuff. so learn about your feelings and emotions. in fact, more importantly We don't know that: a. Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are OURS, that we are in charge of them, and we really can control/effect them, a lot. b. If we have traumatic sights/sounds/pictures/voices/touches/smells, even tastes, in our head (right-brain), we can Change them. c. That our childhood pain, anger, shame, guilt, rage, resentment, unforgiveness, stress, depression is all Change-able. d. How many negative, limiting, self-depecating, unnecessary, (probably) untrue beliefs systems (bs) we carry around, Unconsciously. e. All our bs is change-able! Once we become conscious of it. (SUAL!) f. How many, many Choices we have, emotionally... every minute of every day is an opportunity to be happy, learn, grow, love, shine, be... or to be down, depressed, find bad, feel hopeless, beaten down and beaten up. g. Feelings aren't as complicated and mystical (or bad) as they seem. We really can manage them (and someday, actually enjoy them, even the negative ones, 'cause they're YOU, being real) h. Dumping negative feelings --> (opens space for) --> Positive feelings i. It ain't always fun, but it's gotta get done. j. We gotta feel it to heal it. (or at least be willing and able to feel it), and then we can let it go. k. We really can let it go... all of it... and change the underlying belief systems... in a very short time... requiring no one and no-thing... just you... and your heart and mind (and some courage). l. We gotta spend some time digging into our past -- to understand and appreciate where we came from -- to build empathy and compassion for us, as a kid -- to ___ The super GOOD NEWS! - We can make choices. We have gobs of Choices. ... and our Choices set us Free! - We can understand ourselves, at a super-deep level, and we WILL (probably) live to tell the tale. - We can get to/dump/release/reject/spew/regurgitate (sorry)/disallow our old negative Crappola that lives deep inside us, and underlies everything we think, do, and say. - We can change the negative to positive. - ... even better, if we JUST get rid of the negative, the positive is RIGHT THERE, ready to fill up and go! (at least that's my experience, and what my God/Higher Power/universe brings me, and does for me. - We can love, full-on, with a wide open heart AND do it wisely, and strongly (and wonderfully) - ... and if the above-mentioned love doesn't go well... we CAN deal with the pain, and loss, and abandonment, and rejection, and all of it... 'cause we know how to deal with our feelings, properly and proudly. - Empathy and compassion, and love (and feeling loved and lovable), and happiness, and joy, and success, and life are all LEARNABLE SKILLS! - Everything we need, or will ever need, is right there, inside of us. - (you're probably more lovable than you think!) - Feelings and emotions are: manageable, survivable, interesting, never-ending, wonderful, enlivening, worth living for, changable, controllable, fascinating, energizing, passionate, focussing, add value to our lives, our key to connection with others (and ourselves), help us think better (EQ actually helps IQ!) --- 06:08 Elle Jay via FB-IM Hi. I have a technical question for you... What is the punctuation at the end of: Get in, Get it out, Get on ? Are the G's capped? It's your saying, so write it for me, k?! Get in, Get it out, Get on... Get in, Get it out, Get on! Get in, Get it out, Get on !! ... - 06:11 Here's a good one, I immediately thot of you... "We don't need permission to be awesome." !! --- 06:19 LI-EIN Quotes Every dollar we've ever made, and every dollar we ever will make, is based on a relationship with someone else. (I suggest we learn how to have very cool relationships!) - ------------ mcp ------------- Pamela Morrison • If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. - Buddha --- new research, that Josh got all excited about, that I didn't really understand shows that EQ actually HELPS IQ! >> send to Mike Duffy Here's a dozy of a video... if you're a left-brainer, you'll love this (I'm not sure you are, but still...) This is a report on brain research done at the University of Illinois showing that EQ actually HELPS IQ! Apparently, once the EQ-parts of the brain are activated, it somehow releases the IQ-side to be more active and available! http://www.6seconds.org/2013/03/20/eq-brain-neuroscience/ "Dr. Barbey will share findings from a newly released study that mapped where emotional intelligence “lives” in the brain, revealing an important conclusion: our brains are built for emotion and cognition to work together." I think you get the point that EQ is an important skill to teach/learn/employ. So, how can I help to start bringing EQ to IMS? brainstorm, suggestions ... oh and I sent you an invitation to connect on LinkedIn... did you see it? (when in doubt, EQ says to ask, so I'm asking...) for awhile, you were replying to me, asked questions and seemed interested, then about 3-4 emails ago, when I answered your Q's, your reply was 1-line, short and curt, and nothing since... did I overstep my bounds? Am I now being annoying (I can stop)? Does it seem like I'm trying to 'sell' something to IMS? (I'm not... it's just that most of the resources I gave you were from the same source, 6 seconds, 'cause they're pretty awesome, and they do Exactly what I thought you asked about) --- yes, I speak/write like a right-brainer... that's 'cause I am. I do not like rules, and shoulds, and gotta's... I want self-expression, and freedom, and the power to be myself, and to shine. because That's who I am. I'm a right-right-brainer, and proud of it! We don't need permission to be awesome. (but we WILL get criticizm for it, so be prepared!) --- 06:53 YEP, surely do (oh, sorry, should be Shirley do!). If I remember correctly, you were/are a super-loving, positive, wonderful person (right?). There was some drama there at the end, when you went away... but I don't remember what it was about, and don't really care all that much either, so let's be friends, ok? Yes, we're still teaching ND... May 17-19 in Fresno... join us! NewDirectionsWorkshop.com best wishes with your pubs! I write like a maniac (2 hours so far this morning, typing like crazy), all about EQ, but I haven't published... so, good for you! We're just getting Doc's TCOYL book up on Smashwords so people can download it. see- ya (soon, I hope). thanks for the recommendations, too! - Matt On 04/04/13 6:14 PM, Sy Criswell wrote: -------------------- Hi Matt, remember me? You were my teacher in ND. I learned so very much from you. Are you writing? I have a couple of novella's ready for publication. Send me a note. Would love to hear from you and Paula. Sy Criswell (Shirley) --- 07:00 Yael Stark You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control. - Elizabeth Gilbert ------------ mcp --------- Get in, Get it out, Get on !! (it's official) I don't know about a date... it's kinda up to you. We have the May class in Fresno, we're supposed to go to MI in June (nephew's wedding), to AZ in Aug. (family reunion) and San Diego in Sept (grandson outta boot camp)... so how about July? --- Google Adwords 877-403-0835 9165998597 Chris called 12 ads 4 ad groups 1 campaign run it for a week, then talk to Amanda will you reach our daily spend , val! --- answered 50ish HB wishes on FB!(!) --- Christine Rosenørn O. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. This group is a wonderful initiative and I am grateful to be part of it. I am also engaged in the non profit organisation SENG Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted and the Research Institute of HeartMath. They both share the perception of the importance of emotional intelligence along with the cognitive intelligence. Very smart people are also very emotional people, but they are often misunderstood. I am looking forward to learning from the debate in this group. --- Rachel is taking me to lunch at Subway (yay) and then to see The Croods tonight (double-yay!). Paula is getting me new lined pants (the ones I live in, but black), and we're going to a film festival event tomorrow night at North Coast... good times! --- You have to make more noise than anyone else, you have to make yourself more obtrusive than anyone else, you have to fill all the papers more than anyone else, in fact you have to be there all the time ... if you are really going to get your reform realized. - Emmeline Pankhurst (1858 - 1928) --- Larry, I think it’s just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my fucking bike. --- it is okay to be at a place of struggle. Struggle is just another word for growth. - NDW - "A mind at peace, a mind focused on not harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." - Dr. Wayne Dyer - Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu, Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu, Happy Birrrrthday Dear Matt, Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu! A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Matt Perelstein doesn't come along all that often. In fact, there's never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You're an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is. Quite simply: You're the kind of person, Matt, Who's hard to forget, A one-in-a-million To the people you've met. Your friends are as varied As the places you go, And they all want to tell you In case you don't know: That you make a big difference In the lives that you touch, By taking so little And giving so much! Matt, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn't know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won't be alone! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Matt! Mike Dooley Orlando, Florida, USA PS - Matt, this is going to be YOUR year!! © TUT --- 09:28 Yes, Val (Hi Becca!), I just took their class (110x in my class, in December, $595), and yes, it was awesome! (I thot I wrote to you about it... but maybe not) Yes, it was EST, but people complained that it was too harsh. ... Tom O'Callahan introduced me to the Landmark Forum, as he took it the first time when he was 15, with your aunt Celia and his mom (neither of whom have I met). The biggest lesson I 'got' was that, 'it's not what happened that matters, it's how you PERCEIVED what happened, that matters' (paraphrasing). They use too many big words, and they negate the feelings ('they don't really matter, just let 'em go'), but I did get a ton outta the class, and I'm now bolder, more expressive, and braver (knowing that my self-imposed limitations don't really matter, anywayz!). They could use more of our teachings, and I've already incorporated a few of theirs into ND... If you haven't done it, I'd highly recommend it. They have classes in Fresno, SF and Sac (and gobs of other countries... well over 1M students, so far, which is what sold me the first time). They also have a (free) seminar series after, that I'm taking (10 sessions, 3 hours/week, called "Living Powerfully"... great stuff!). As I mentioned, I have another email coming to you (as soon as I finish it), explaining and asking. talk soon. Thanks for the note! - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: from Valerie From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Fri, April 05, 2013 8:58 am To: matt@2GetHelp.com, AmethystEJ@aol.com Landmark Education, The Landmark Forum, grad seminars, and programs Do you know about this company? Someone I know just went through this (though she called it "Landmark" but I can't find it on the Internet). Anyway, sounds like "the course." This one has changed a lot, but does go back to Werner's EST where all this got started. I'm surprised there are so many of them and kinds of classes (don't like the "too many topics" stuff very much). But, I was pleasantly surprised that they keep the costs down to what we were used to in Global with Understanding Yourself and Others. .v. --- FB-IM Stephen W. Oliver (from Marshall?) Hi Matt, what exactly do you do if you don't mind me asking? I saw a lot of Emotional Intelligence information on your F.B. pages? I teach E.I. in the workplace at the University of VA in Northern VA and I do management and leadership training, so I'd be curious if we have any over laps? let me know if you have some time! Thanks Stephen O. 9:15am Stephen W. Oliver Happy Birthday again! Cheers! 9:29am Matt Perelstein Well, THANKS, Stephen O! so glad you teach EI (which we call EQ, 'cause it helps people understand that there's IQ and EQ... left-brain intellect and right-brain Emotional intellect)... and my personal opinion is that EQ is can/is gonna change the world! 9:32am Matt Perelstein We've been teaching an intensive EQ weekend training course for individuals and groups for over 25 years, at NewDirectionsWorkshop.com... and I don't know if you've had the experience of having people actually 'deal with' their feelings, but that's what we do, and we had some Amazing results (see testimonials page for hundreds of happy(er) campers!) 9:34am Matt Perelstein I have taught some EQ in the workplace, but the emotional healing part (with a therapist) is more our forte'. I know I need to move in that direction, as it's wonderful for leadership, teamwork, customer service, sales, the works... and it's not rocket science... but oh, so effective! 9:52am Matt Perelstein How long have you been teaching? Do you enjoy it? --- Lourie Brown Yeah that's right....I mean it's all a choice isn't it? It's not that I don't go there. Cause I'm really really tired, and sometimes it shakes me up. Eric definately has left me with a taste of the creep factor. And some of the way I handle it is influenced by the fact that I don't trust people to see how much life hurts or how hard it is for me sometimes. I don't make other people my higher power. Knowing more than me, isn't MORE than ME. That's how I can turn on my brother and sass him when he deserves it lol. I try to keep in perspective that everyone here at "Earth School" has it ugly. Tim Cisnero's remarked once about how I was able to smile, laugh and be happy go lucky when my life really sucked, I think it is just keeping my focus on those I love and not what I do or don't have. I think my mother gave me lots of double messages, on one hand she is the toughest woman I have ever met. I watched her do it alone although I never wanted to end up like her. On the other hand.....well. I have learned that weakness wields great power as well. But I resent that weakness too and don't really accept it in myself. Sometimes when I am dealing with others and thier journey I have to remember that there are people that aren't tough enough to stand, and I have to remind myself to be compassionate. Not all women can work 3 jobs 7 days a week for several years in a row and raise 3 school age children alone. It is easy enough to say suck it up I did it LOL. But then look at my body now you know. I don't know Matt... I am 49 years old and I have created this journey myself, for myself. I didn't have to learn it by slamming face first into every brick wall life presented in front of me...so who do I really have to blame because of it? When you look at it that way, isn't feeling sorry for yourself pretty much a huge waste of time? Time you could be doing other things? A lesson is a lesson and that is what every day boils down to. I am not made of granite so please don't misunderstand my view on being tough enough, I am very breakable. I have numbed out and acted out and done my share of stupid. But I forgive me, well most of the time....and I just keep moving forward. This life people invest so much in is so temporary....when it sucks that is usually temporary too. It may not always get all better, but somedays it sucks less ha ha. Ah hell...I don't want to go quietly anyway. Nothing wrong with sliding into home base with a beat up body. I won't be wearing it for eternity anyway. --- 09:57 when I was born, we lived on base (not abbie) who took care of Abbie while I was born a doctor and his wife didn't take long you were a good baby took side of basinet down first time, peed in face pretty kid a toy for abbie she was like 2nd mother got along well Max got a great home! --- PP = 3449 -32 OnlineLabels.com OL125WX, 250x10 = 2500 labels --- Verizon, 707-972-3136 Sept. 2014 30 x 17 = 510 cancel is 290 paid in 2 payments early term fee basic is $175, or $5/mo smart phone is $350, $10/mo Smart phone, $40/mo basic is $30/mo. SHARE EVERY UNL TLK&TXT 4GB 02/20 - 03/19 $70.00 $70.00 per month / full month on new plan Current Balance: $497.71 The Current Balance is your balance as of today's date and reflects payments posting to your account since your last billing statement. Due by: April 14, 2013 View Printable Bill Pay Now Last Payment of $250.00 Received on February 28, 2013 paid $204.61 via joint checking, 4/6 conf. # bal 293.10 --- 10:54 I'm 53 today, Peter. Last year, I was (finally) 'playing with a full deck', but this year, I guess I added a Joker, ey?! Emotional age... I've 'grown up' a bit in the last few years, so I'd say about 17... almost ready to become a 'real man'. Daughters ARE great! I have a daughter 21 (who I was talking about) and a step-daughter who's 40, and has kiddos, so I'm also a 4-time grandpa (and they're now in high school)! 1, ey? wow... how'z that? And as interesting... how'z it going with the 13yo? Your thread is getting some cool responses... fun! Write anytime, you're a pleasure. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: New Subscriber - 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) - 4/4/2013 From: "Peter McManus" Date: Fri, April 05, 2013 8:44 am To: Fantastic…one more thing…have to ask as I believe we are probably close to the same age…what is your chronological age, and, if asked, how would you respond to what is your emotional age? Daughters are great…I have four of them…24-21-13-1…yes, I said 1. Just a little more insight! No more e-mails for the rest of the day…enjoy yourself! Peter McManus --- 10:40 (whoops) IMS Standup --- 11:09 Hi Hilleary, The 'Export Brochure Mailing' exports a file to C:\export, so make a folder with that name, and it should do it for you (see attached from my database). Since May is still a month away, can I send you an invoice now? Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Exporting for Patron Manager migration From: "Hilleary Burgess" Date: Thu, April 04, 2013 11:06 pm To: Matt, The folks at PatronManager are working on our import; they think they’ll be done before tickets are scheduled to go on sale May 1. I’m crossing my fingers. Meanwhile, MMF needs to do a brochure mailing, like, yesterday. I saw an ‘export for brochure mailing’ in Utilities in the Access application, but it seems to generate an empty text file. Any hints? Hilleary Burgess (707) 937-1232 (707) 357-1175 cell --- Sydney called, to sing to me! M&D called, and said that, since they like me, they WON'T sing to me! --- Don't worry, be happy! original video with Robin Williams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU people confused the dislike button with "dis i like" MCHammer, You can't touch this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=otCpCn0l4Wo --- Deborah G. commented on Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Everything in life is relational! If you want robots for employees....look at IQ. If you want relationship builders...look at EQ. I also find that those who are not privy to the potential of the emotionally intelligent workplace, see the word 'emotional' in EQ as a perceived weakness simply because we as a society honor IQ over anything else. We should change the name of EQ to better reflect the immense power it has to change environments thus changing lives in the process. EQ is the game changer!! --- MMF invoice, $250 export for brochure mailing Hilleary --- 12:30 to house to Makela's for lined pants (HB present) -- nope to Reynold's for fleece-lined pants (Carhartt jeans) -- yep! to Harvest, for carob peanuts (on sale, yum!) to RiteAid to get PR to Subway with Josh, P, PR (nice) home --- 3:25 here - Legs Illusion, dance http://1funny.com/legs-illusion-dance/ back to town (HH), to see Josh's B-ball game then to The Croods, movie at 6:45 --- Kim Sandak 1L ROUND kymmie61@gmail.com Kym Sandak 2346 Druid Rd. East Clearwater, FL 33764 phone died, back to charge it a bit (> 20%)scc bri called from Reno, needs to put pics on my PC. >> leave it on Monday. --- 4:36 copy this file, take stick, and go to town... HH, first run of cars, a guy up diving in Caspar, by himself, from East Bay drop off at Safeway walk to BB field they're done! to JV field (Dana Gray), and there's Josh and Big G... nice chat with Josh, 20 min or so. new b-ball field Vern Piver (pic) walk (and write) to theatre The Croods, 3D, Very good! great colors, good use of 3D, very good story, much fun! $40 movie, $15 popcorn/soda/raisettes Tradewinds after for dessert (nope, all ate) super slow service, but food's not bad. appetizer tray +, good, fun home here (Bella ate my good shoes, guilt, she's gone) 82 HB posts on my FB timeline! replied to all! M&D called! Bri called! --- 10:45 Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, Involve me and I learn. - Benjamin Franklin Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it - Lou Holtz start MFF Donor Tools export to Mail Labels --- pause here in chair... --- 4.6 02:?? printed and emailed MFF label merge (78x) --- 03:48 In seeking wisdom, the first step is silence, the second listening, the third remembering, the fourth practising, the fifth - teaching others. - Ibn Gabirol (1020 - 1070) - Your faith bridges the gap between your aspirations and the manifestation of your dreams. Letting go and trusting that the Universe will take care of you activates miracles. - Saskia Roell --- Links: 6sec Connecting with Patients: The Basic Ingredient of Care http://www.6seconds.org/2013/03/06/empathy-patient-healthcare/ ---------- mcp ------------ "The reason real empathy takes no extra time is that true empathy is not about an action: it's about a feeling." - Assessing Emotional Intelligence (a comparison by 6sec) http://www.6seconds.org/2011/07/18/comparison-of-eq-tests/ Goleman’s 4-quadrant model (awareness of self and others, management of self and others), - eWeek Success – Largest Emotional Intelligence Conference http://www.6seconds.org/2013/03/27/eweek-success-largest-emotional-intelligence-conference/ The next “stage” of the program will be the NexusEQ Emotional Intelligence Conference at Harvard University, June 24-26 with some 300 in-person participants and 10,000 virtual participants. Speakers include top neuroscientists, emotions researchers, and practitioners in business and education. The conference includes official international delegations for 12 countries and/or regions. The purpose of eWeek and the NexusEQ Conference is to spark positive change – using the science and practice of emotional intelligence to improve prosperity and wellbeing around the world. This is part of Six Seconds’ mission to support people to create positive change, everywhere, all the time. We’re working to ensure 1 billion people practice the skills of emotional intelligence. - The Amadori Case: Supplying McDonalds – Organizational Engagement, Emotional Intelligence and Performance http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/03/amadori-case-engagement-%E2%80%A8emotional-intelligence/ (D-R) In a three-year study of AMADORI, a supplier of McDonald’s in Europe, emotional intelligence, individual performance, organizational engagement, and organizational performance were assessed. Emotional intelligence was found to predict 47% of the variation in manager’s performance management scores. Emotional intelligence was also massively correlated with increased organizational engagement with 76% of the variation in engagement predicted by manager EQ. Finally, plants with higher organizational engagement achieved higher bottom-line results building a link between EQ->Engagement->Performance. During this period, employee turnover also dropped by 63%. The Engage phase focuses on creating readiness, and included pre-assessment and initial training. The Activate phase focuses on building capability, and included additional training and individual coaching. The Reflect phase is about solidifying learning, and included post-assessment and evaluation. Analysis A variety of techniques were used to analyze the data to answer the three questions: Does Emotional intelligence affect Individual Performance? Does Emotional Intelligence affect Organization Engagement? Does Organizational Engagement impact Organizational Performance? (see charts and stats) - 5 Undeniably Selfish Reasons to Volunteer http://www.6seconds.org/2013/03/27/volunteer-acts-of-service/ #1. Thankfulness #2: Problem-solving #3: Self-esteem #4: Community building #5: Skill development - Benefits of SEL http://www.sel4mass.org/benefits-of-sel/ (D-R) A large body of scientific research has determined that the average student in a school with an effective SEL program where none previously existed significantly improves a student’s: Social-emotional skills by the significant number of 22 percent Attitudes about self and others by 9 percent Social interactions by 10 percent Positive social behavior by 10 percent* In addition, SEL programming significantly reduces: conduct problems by 9 percent emotional distress by 10 percent.* *See this link for the full study and findings published by Child Development, February 3, 2011, of a meta-analysis of 213 school-based, universal social and emotional learning (SEL) programs involving 270,034 kindergarten through high school students. Full Child Development Study click here. - Emotional Intelligence Workshops http://www.emotionalintelligenceworkshops.com/ - Fuel Innovation thru Negative Emotions http://nuragroup.com/articles/fuel-innovation-thru-negative-emotions/ Leaders intelligently handle intense negative emotion when they create a safe space for them to be expressed, with the stated intention of resolving them. This means authentically inviting the full expression of any emotion, even if it’s anger directed towards the leader, followed by an acknowledgement of what was said and no repercussion against the employee. Because the leader intentionally creates the space, this signals that he/she is ready to listen and bring resolution, and is confidently up to the task. This allows them to save face, as long as they can truly listen and remain non-defensive. Many times expression is all that’s needed, whereas other times the expression prompts action. My experience is that when I’ve done this as a leader, it has prompted some of the best shifts in thinking that have led to the most innovative outcomes. In business we think emotional intelligence is controlling emotions, to ensure that negativity doesn’t impact performance. However, it’s not intelligent to avoid negative emotions. Avoiding negative emotion may feel more comfortable in the short run, but it becomes debilitating in the long run, as the emotion continuously clouds the creative process. Instead, if we’re willing to tolerate the discomfort of feeling the emotion, we can use it to generate a potent innovative vitality in an organization. - Boost Employee Engagement by Allowing Angry Outbursts http://nuragroup.com/articles/boost-employee-engagement-by-allowing-angry-outbursts/ - New Directions for the homeless in LA Our therapeutic community helps veterans with everything from substance abuse recovery to family reunification to benefit advocacy. http://www.newdirectionsinc.org/about_programs_services.html New Directions, Inc., a licensed, long-term drug and alcohol treatment program founded by formerly homeless veterans, has provided food, shelter, support and rehabilitation to clients since 1992. The agency provides services to more than 600 veterans each year through its outreach program and at five different residential treatment centers: The 156-bed Veteran Opportunity Center (VOC) includes a program for veterans with both a substance abuse disorder and a mental illness. 24-bed emergency shelter and detoxification center The 50-person capacity Veteran Opportunity Center North program for veterans with both substance abuse disorders and mental illness The New Directions Oasis for Veteran Women consisting of Keaveney House and Mitchell House, providing residential care to female veterans. Chris's Place, New Directions' transitional residence for returning veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF). - Why You Need to Have Fun to Be Successful http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2012/07/25/why-you-need-to-have-fun-to-be-successful/ - A few tips for managing remotely. http://donnarawady.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/a-few-tips-for-managing-remotely/ Think about what best engages and supports local staff and use the same approaches to build relationships with remote staff. Here are a few tips that may help: - Have regular one-on-ones and be sure to make every effort to keep the telephone meetings scheduled, and to establish meeting objectives. - When you first connect on the phone, ask questions and focus on listening and learning what you can about the person’s current focus, and state of mind. Even when you have news or directives, ask questions first. For example, you might ask someone to share one significant success and one significant challenge they’re currently experiencing. Your ability to probe for where an employee is coming from—and how they see their successes and/or challenges—will help you help them. - If you’re managing a team, establish regular “staff meetings” or conference calls, providing the same opportunities that are provided in a physical meeting. Keep yourself aware of who is and isn’t contributing, and ask those individuals who may not be active on the call if they have any additional input, or would like to share anything from their experience. This approach not only engages everyone, it demonstrates that you value each individual’s participation. - Remember coaching your staff is crucial. Coaching can easily be done by phone, whether you establish a specific coaching schedule, or you’re coaching on demand, helping an individual or team through a challenge. - Set a standard for accountability. Your request for specific deliverables and target dates, and your prompt follow up when deliverables are delayed will set the stage for future accountability. - Always leave your call or virtual meeting with a genuine offer of accessibility if an employee and/or team is looking for guidance and/or support. Whether they work in the next office, or across the country or globe, employees appreciate engaging, genuine, purposeful, consistent, and supportive leaders. - Let's Talk EI http://www.talkzone.com/shows/199/LetsTalkEI.html - THE 10/10/10 RULE FOR TOUGH DECISIONS http://www.fastcompany.com/3007613/10-10-10-rule-tough-decisions To use 10/10/10, we think about our decisions on three different time frames: How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now? How about 10 months from now? How about 10 years from now? - CREATING A HEALTHY PATH TO DISRUPTION ONE OF FAST COMPANIES MOST CREATIVE PEOPLE IN BUSINESS, SAM MOGANNAM DISCUSSES DISRUPTING INTERNAL WORKFLOW IN ORDER TO STAY CREATIVE, RELEVANT, AND RAISE THE STANDARDS OF CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE. http://www.fastcompany.com/3005715/inspiration-and-impact/creating-healthy-path-disruption - Need a Job? Invent It http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/opinion/sunday/friedman-need-a-job-invent-it.html?_r=1& Who is doing it right? “Finland is one of the most innovative economies in the world,” he said, “and it is the only country where students leave high school ‘innovation-ready.’ They learn concepts and creativity more than facts, and have a choice of many electives — all with a shorter school day, little homework, and almost no testing. In the U.S., 500 K-12 schools affiliated with Hewlett Foundation’s Deeper Learning Initiative and a consortium of 100 school districts called EdLeader21 are developing new approaches to teaching 21st-century skills. There are also a growing number of ‘reinvented’ colleges like the Olin College of Engineering, the M.I.T. Media Lab and the ‘D-school’ at Stanford where students learn to innovate.” - Inner Peace, by Glori Celis Hurt Feelings blog post http://innerpeaceglori.blogspot.com/ - Dan Waldschmidt 2nd an ordinary dude with an outrageous vision..., Greenville, South Carolina Area http://waldschmidtpartners.com/connect/ - Why NLP is perfect for Introverted People http://www.alenmajer.com/2013/04/why-nlp-is-perfect-for-introverted-people/ - Join us to see Stephen M. R. Covey (the son) live in one of 29 cities http://www.franklincovey.com/tc/events/sot-tour-registration Stephen’s presentation will extend beyond a dialogue of trust as a soft, social virtue, and give leaders a greater vision of trust as a measurable, strategic advantage Join us to learn to: - Measure trust in your organization - Implement the 13 behaviors that develop high trust - Decrease costs and increase the speed of work by developing trust on both a personal and an organizational level - Anger Management Certification - Anderson-Anderson http://shop.andersonservices.com/certification.aspx http://shop.andersonservices.com/wheelsofbehavior-english.aspx EQ Store http://shop.andersonservices.com/emotionalintelligence.aspx Three-Day Live Anger Managament Facilitator Training, $1,500 http://shop.andersonservices.com/three-dayliveangermanagamentfacilitatortraining.aspx - Become the CEO of Your Own Brain in Six Easy Steps http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201304/become-the-ceo-your-own-brain-in-six-easy-steps Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., studies the health effects of expressive writing, cognitive adaptation to trauma, the genesis and treatment of chronic pain, among other coping issues. To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. - Buddha STEP 1: LISTEN AND ACKNOWLEDGE STEP 2: MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR MIND STEP 3: REALIZE YOUR THOUGHTS ARE JUST THOUGHTS STEP 4: OBSERVE YOUR OWN MIND STEP 5: RETRAIN YOUR MIND TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN STEP 6: PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION - In 42% of Companies, The Best Workers Are The Least Engaged http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/04/02/in-42-of-companies-the-best-workers-are-the-least-engaged/ - How Being Helpful Can Make You Happier And More Productive http://www.fastcodesign.com/1672255/how-being-helpful-can-make-you-happier-and-more-productive - New Research Shows Emotional Intelligence Improves Organizational Climate and Bottom-Line Performance, Presented at Harvard University in June Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/04/04/5315963/new-research-shows-emotional-intelligence.html#storylink=cpy - To Be Number One, Get the Right Number Two http://blogs.hbr.org/kanter/2012/08/to-be-number-one-get-the-right.html Picking a number two is among the most important decisions any leader makes. Getting it right shapes a leader's direction, effectiveness, and legacy. 1. Alignment: Which signals do you want to amplify? 2. Differentiation: What skills are you missing? 3. Succession: Can you hand over power? --- You sent a payment of $26.95 USD to Fine Art America Ray Mathis pic - Educate the heart and engage your emotions. - Lolly daskal Consciousness: why bother? It allows us to share our experiences with others, giving us a better understanding of ourselves and the world http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/mar/02/consciousness-why-bother?CMP=twt_gu Our consciousness is not a prison cell where we live, isolated from other minds, but a doorway into a social world where we can work together to achieve a better understanding of ourselves and the world around us. --- Daniel Goleman Full Interview (Nov 2011) http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-full-interview-nov-2011 Picked up by schools, K - U traffic light system basic lesson in E. Intelligence Red light: stop, calm down and think before you act Yellow light: Range Green light: pick the best and try it out Dalai Lama, #1 most recognized person on the planet Steve Jobs inspiring, motivation, visionary direction pushed boundaries took the system and reinvented the system like everyone else, he was it's not one thing, self-awareness, relationships within in some domain fantastic at... but don't have to be best at everything. I suck at finishing things. I have started:... 06:08 Well put, Ray! I too have found that folks with medium-high EQ can get judgmental and kinda haughty with those who don't 'speak our language', and know themselves very well. But, to me, high EQ is about tolerance, and not reacting to their reactions, and being firm, and calm, in the moment... knowing that we can pick-up any of our Power Tools, any time we need them! ... and we can be smart about it, and choose the right one(s)... we have Anger, we have PP (personal power or purple power), we have fight, flight or freeze, we have full use of head, heart and hand -- tons of Choices! But, we also gotta understand that most people are pretty clueless in this area, and they don't KNOW that they have tons of choices... and they probably don't KNOW what they're feeling, or that their unknown feelings are driving them to act in predictable, often unhealthy ways. And the biggest lesson of all, for me, was that other people's hurtful behaviours usually had little or Nothing to do with me (yay!). I've been shame-based my whole life, automatically assuming that people were mad at me, before we even met! not good, not healthy, not fun, and the good news is, not True, either. I've now found that a few people actually do like me, and that feels soooo much better than the pain I lived in for so long. - We've laughed that, the harshest opinions on a behaviour come from those who are actively trying to Stop up that behaviour. Newly-sober alcoholics tend to be pretty hard on newbies. Consciously Incompetent: Old ruts, that are now know to us (but we can't quite stop 'em, yet). Usually noticed AFTER, sometimes DURING engagement. - Self-diagnosis: borderline social phobic, shame-based, fairly wimpy, overweight (BMI = 32.8) middle-aged (53, yesterday) white boy, with some ADHD and a bit of PTSD, We moved my entire childhood (3 countries), I was molested at 16, my parents were not abusive, but I had 'decided' a whole bunch of negative things about life, and me, and how I fit into life. I was extremely ignorant and naive about my right-brain or emotions, my parents didn't know, their parents didn't know, the military schools I went to certainly didn't know (or weren't about to tell us), and my continuous loss of friendships (either I was moving or my friends were... ouch!), made young matt into a very dull boy. Clueless Court. so, I was sooo Relieved when I first took our class! Wow... It's all emotion! These are JUST FEELINGS, and now I see that I CAN handle my feelings, pretty much Anything that comes up now, I can handle... why? 'cause I know what I think, I know how I feel, and therefore, I can make good decisions (well, the best I know of, having as much info as possible). (ND Brochure) What drives good decision-making? Having all the info, the big picture, the costs, the effects, the benefits, the left-brain logical/practical view, and the right-brain creative/feeling view. All of it. At least have full access to all the info I have available to me. If we ONLY know about our left-brain, that's like partitioning half your hard drive, password-protecting it, and throwing away the password, 'cause we're afraid of it/us/ourselves/our feelings/our true heart and soul. Processing Anger: - I'm not angry. - I'm not That angry. - I'm not angry, I'm just hurt. - I couldn't. - I will not look like my rage-full father - I can't handle my anger - I am seriously gonna hurt someone. - If I let all my anger go, it'll never stop. - You can't handle my anger. - it was my fault - How do I be angry at me?! - I am not safe. - You are not safe. - No. - Yikes. - ok. - dammit. - What?!? - Oh no you don't. - DON'T YOU DARE! NO ONE TOUCHS ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!! - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! - Ahhhhhh! - Ahh... - (melt down and cry, in relief and release, we hold you) - .... quiet ... touch... respect the effort ... tissues ... hugs - smiles - water - sit - Hi. - wow. - yep. - I was angry. - yes, you were. and you had every right to be. - I'm not so angry now. - cool! - it wasn't you, was it? - nope. it wasn't. it was him... all him. - yep. - you are a beautiful person, despite it all. - Yep. I am. With the group, "I am through being the victim" "I am Through being the Victim" "I am THROUGH being the VICTIM!!!" wooohooo >> !!! >> !!! ... and "I'm finished blaming others, and Myself!" wooohooo, again, good for you >> !!! >> !!! I'm turning my Anger to Love, Sadness to Joy, and my Depression into Personal Power! NOW, I CHOOSE TO FEEL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lift on shoulders! Entire class clapping and singing (really bad, but really loud, anywayz)... "For she's a Powerful Person! For she's a Powerful Person! For she's a Powerful Person! Whiiiiiiich, No Body can Deny!" Loud dance music to Celebrate Karen's playing your custom-chosen Song playing, loud pin on your Purple HEART group hug, then line of individual hugs... - Anger Note: We can be 100% full-on into our deepest core feelings, and still know what's going on. If we're doing Mirror work, and I tell you NOT to break the mirror, you won't, no matter how mad you are at the guy IN the mirror! We've never had a mirror broken (in fact, people keep 'donating' mirrors to us, as the most powerful tool we use in class, that changed their lives, so we have a whole stack of 'em now! (note to self, after someone does awesome mirror work, give it to them to keep... yep!) We CAN deal with our anger. We CAN heal most all our pain, anger, anxiety, worry, guilt, shame, blame, attacks, abuse, trauma, illness, divorce, abandonment, rejection, disappointment, disillusionment, depression, sadness, despair, loss... ALL of IT! ... and you/we need NOTHING to do so... nothing. anywhere, any time, with (or without) any one. EQ is totally, 100%, completely, no-bs FREE! EQ is an education, a knowing, a concept (well, quite a few concepts), a life-style, a movement, a belief, an intention, a goal, a dream, a life! EQ gives life. EQ loves life. EQ lives life. Live, Love and Laugh with EQ Live Life with EQ EQ You! EQU! - 06:45 available: eq-you.com equ4life.com 2geteq.com - dammit, it's taken... wtf... whois... oh, it's me! LOL!! Administrative Contact: Perelstein, Matt matt@2GetHelp.com Directions Unlimited 32501 McDonnell Lane Fort Bragg, California 95437 United States +1.7079629006 Fax -- +1.7079629199 --- Alex Russell, 6 Sec. Had a blast with my fam... the most I could want. Subway, B-ball game, great movie (The Croods!), and then dinner. yep, very nice, indeed. --- 07:25 Rusty Petrella's bday Hey 'ole buddy, now it's my turn to say HB2U! It looks like you're doing well, so that makes me happy. It's gonna be a beautiful Fort Bragg day, so ENJOY your special day (I sure did, yesterday!). --- Hey! So, wow... I just bought one of your Amazing photos... wow. Apparently, you're a right-brainer, too! I love the iceberg idea (6 sec has a very cool pic of one, I can dig up, if you want). Yet there's says IQ is sticking outta the water, while EQ is underneath, and way much larger... I don't know... I like yours better... it's Behaviours that are sticking out and Feelings, thoughts, belief systems, meanings, pictures, sounds, smells, trauma, upbringing, DNA, chemical inbalances, etc., etc that are underneath it all. Yes! --- Hey Ray! (btw, my lifelong bestest friend, from high school, whose sister was my very first girlfriend, is named Ray... so your name is very cool with me.) So, wow... I just bought one of your Amazing photos... holy schmoly, you're good! Apparently, you're a right-brainer, too! Well done, sir... very well done. I love the iceberg idea (6 sec has a very cool pic of one, I can dig up, if you want). Yet their's shows IQ sticking outta the water, while EQ is underneath, and way much larger. I like yours much better... Behaviours are sticking out and Feelings, thoughts, belief systems, meanings, pictures, sounds, smells, trauma, upbringing, DNA, chemical inbalances, etc. etc are underneath it all. The world only sees the behaviours, relationships are built (or trashed) on the behaviours, our results only come from our behaviours BUT there's way more to it... that you probably don't know, about you... and you MIGHT want to find out! yep. About the 4 steps... I like the concept of Healthy/Unhealthy choices, as there are TONS of choices we make -- all day, every day -- so we definitely need to differentiate H/UnH choices... AND make them Conscious, then someday Unconscious. I also hear you about the harshness of the word Incompetent... but it's true (and it sounds good there), and hey, it's supposed to get your attention! If you don't know that you don't know, you're pretty incompetent on that task or ability, right? (synonyms: inability, unskillfullness, ineptitude, ineffectiveness... antonym: ability. There's room for both models, and they're actually fairly different, in my opinion. I'd also invert your lists, 'cause first, we're unconscious unhealthy... then we find out how to do it better... then become unconsciously healthy. Unconscious Unhealthy Choices I don't know I have choices, and I make poor ones I don't know what healthy choices look like (since I've probably never seen them) I don't know that I create my thoughts and my thoughts create my feelings (so I have quite bit of control over them) I don't know much of anything about my feelings, and I don't know that every single thing I do, say or act is based on both my thoughts and my feelings. I don't know me very well. My convention, too, is to always (or as much as possible), use I/we/us/our, rather than you/your/them/people... know what I mean? If it works for them, it'd better work for us, too. What are you writing this up for? We need to PUBLISH this stuff!! - Matt On 04/05/13 3:07 PM, Ray Mathis wrote: -------------------- Hey Matt, I want to tell you again how much I like that growth model. I was using a diagram of an iceberg, and still do. The idea being that behavior is just the tip of the iceberg and there's all this other stuff below the surface, and the deeper it is, the less aware people are of it. So I would write or type in "cognitive choices" at the bottom of the iceberg. That correlates to your "Unconscious Incompetence". Then I would say you want to raise these choices above the surface, constantly reminding yourself, "It's my choice how I look at things...what I focus on....etc" So I would use the same iceberg diagram with "cognitive choices" written or typed in above the surface. Now I'm putting your model and the iceberg together. Giving you credit of course. But the word I am a little gun shy about is "incompetence" or "incompetent" because it has such a negative connotation. So I was wondering what you would think of wedding what we both always talk about, the word "choice" to the model instead. For example: Unconscious Healthy Choices Conscious Healthy Choices Conscious Unhealthy Choices Unconscious Unhealthy Choices And some expanded versions: Unconscious Healthy Choices Practice makes those automatic Conscious Healthy Choices I start making better choices Conscious Unhealthy Choices I realize I have choices and make them poorly Unconscious Unhealthy Choices I don't know I have choices, and make them poorly Just running it all through my head, and experimenting. --- to house for breakfast (half of p's pastrami sub from yesterday) watched finals as South Africa creamed the All Blacks... ouch... they were awesome! nappage back to house for soup at 11 made fire with P's old trash, as she's doing taxes today. - Alex Russell, 6 sec. I'm not sure how the eWeek choices were made. Actually, it ended up differently than I expected it to and we had speakers I didn't anticipate....I ended up not really being part of it (for more than one reason, including travel, etc.) but watched from the periphery....it seems like the feedback has been good so far, so......what are your nexus plans? I understand... yes, the 3-4 sessions I saw were quite excellent! I esp. liked Dr. Boyatzis, as he had wonderful IQ info on how to do EQ. I don't really have any plans for nexus. I got my ticket, but that's it. and I'll listen into the call Monday morning... is there something else you'd recommend? Are you a part of the next one? --- 10:47 Relationship video from Val (4:11) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CfCdpQaEjw Mr and Mrs. Mug when dating, they were so careful then they got married, and there were bumps, and stuff came out she makes me so mad she has issues I didn't know you had anger issues you make me act that way the reason the beads come out, and the anger comes out, is because that's what's in there. you don't know what's in you, until we bumped romantic, committed relationship that brings out the best, and the worst they don't know what inside of ME. why we get madder than anyone on the planet if he would start/stop/quit/ --- Here, in 7 short words, is how one of our instructors has summed it all up -- she encourages others toward Awareness-Acceptance-Action of their feelings -- and they're the core steps to emotional healing, emotional processing, the new Cognitive-Affective Behavioural Therapy (CABT) and my guess at what Elly called 'Emotionally Focused Therapy'... ready? >>> Get in, Get it out, Get on !! <<< boom. Takes as little as 5 minutes, can be done totally alone (but more fun with somebody safe) and can be incredibly healing, stress-reducing and anxiety-busting... Get in, Get it out, Get on !! --- 12:19 Hey... Did they do anger work... well, yes, and no. It was mentioned. It was discussed that our belief systems create anger, so it was talked about... and the biggest processing I did during the event, we were given a few minutes to shut our eyes, and 'allow ourselves to feel whatever we wanted to feel'. No one will touch you, you are safe, and if you need help, raise your hand. so, I closed my eyes, and went back and processed some Serious pain about having to move so much when I was little... and the disconnect, and how alone I felt, and how I internalized people leaving, as they were leaving ME, personally, 'cause I'm not worthy of their love... and I balled, (very, very quietly, 'cause there wasn't a sound, elsewhere) then I touched my anger, too, and decided to let 'er rip... so, I sat up in my chair, and made fists, and put my feet firmly on the ground, and SCREAMED, hard, and let my body tense all up(works best for me), and complete the whole process... without making a single sound. I opened my mouth to scream, and let ALL the energy out, with NONE of the sound (it was kinda cool)... but it's because there were over 100 people in that room, 'dealing with their anger, sadness and fear', and it was Totally quiet! so, yes, they 'dealt with anger'. Do I think it was effective? maybe... knowing it's yours, acknowledging it, accepting it, is 2/3 of the battle, so yeah, could be. Could they have gone deeper? way. Could we handle 100 people in a room, doing their anger our way, all at the same time... not sure. We've done 29, but not 100. Loved the Andy Stanley video: "the reason the beads come out, and the anger comes out, is because that's what's in there." ha. - me --- 12:30ish lift to town shower to Josh's game they WON! at the very end... very fun to watch change clothes MFF Monk event fun, movie was ok, love the Brother Thelonius brew! ann, arlene, Michael Fox(!), Paul, Bob, CK p got upset just before leaving, who knows why, didn't speak again change back to coach, never left --- 4.7 05: espn (and a poop!) 06:17 here change propane tanks (brr..) "I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - Evelyn Beatrice Hall Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom exists in not exceeding the limit. - Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) I learned to "observe" feelings, mine and other people's. They help me to understand what is really going on and why. They guide me towards change; they support me in the interaction with others. By Elena Perella Procrastination never feels as good as making sales. Procrastination never feels as good as getting results. Success is the ability, first, to recognize opportunity; second, to form plans and strategies that leverage opportunity; and, third, to develop the necessary skills needed to execute those strategies. - Gary Ryan Blair Reckless leads to wreck more! - Happy http://www.iwebcircles.com/list/yes-i-can/mind-over-matter 1. Happy Friends 2. Smart Thrills 3. Daily Excercise 4. Enough Sleep 5. Self-Trust 6. Live in the Now 7. Attitude of Gratitude 8. Bounce Back (resilience) 9. Get Unplugged 10. Smile, a lot! - How to mentor your team http://askten.co.uk/resources/tips/how-mentor-your-team Share on facebook Share on linkedin Share on twitter Share on email More Sharing Services Companies with abundant mentoring opportunities are more likely to retain their people. To achieve this, offer a range of mentors for people at different career stages. Here are three types of mentoring you should consider: 1. Peer. In the early stages of a person's career, a peer can help speed up the learning curve. This relationship helps the protege understand how things work at the organisation. 2. Career. After the initial period at a workplace, employees need to have a senior manager serve as a career advisor and advocate. 3. Life. A life mentor serves as a periodic sounding board when one is faced with a career challenge. Organisations can't necessarily offer a life mentor but they can encourage seeking one. - Don't be a slave to the past http://askten.co.uk/about/blog/dont-be-slave-past How many things are you doing in your life simply because you’ve already devoted so much time, energy or money to them so far? It happens because we are all prisoners of the sunk cost fallacy - the idea that once we have committed a lot of time and money to something we stick with it through thick and thin. --- 06:50 Reminder to post your story, Glori (hey, that rhythms!) THANKS! you rock! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: My Story From: Glori Celis Date: Thu, April 04, 2013 8:10 pm To: "" Thanks so much Matt. Writing this out did pull me back to my past and make me see how far I've come. I don't mind putting my story up on the ND page. I think stories are really powerful. Glori --- 06:59 FB-MCR I miss our Sunday morning games the most! Maybe next Sunday (or the one after) ey?!? Curt, I'll bring the donuts! --- 07:00 FB-NDG "Take me as i am or live without my love." (wth pic) - 07:03 Invite to Dan Waldschmidt, LI-EIN I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. I also want to talk to you about working together. We NEED to get EQ out into the world, and my business strategies are not working. Thanks! - Matt --- 07:14 Hey, THANKS, Wenz! I appreciate the HB wishes! Hope you guys are well... Had a great day (2 days, actually!) - Rachel took me out to Subway for lunch friday (yay!) - Then she took us to the movies (The Croods, REALLY cute animated film!) - Got new fleece-lined jeans (super warm... 'cause I'm always cold here!) - then yesterday, got to watch Josh WIN his varsity baseball game (and he was the STAR of the game!) - and went to a Mendocino Film Festival event at our world-famous brewery (North Coast)... with free beer and appetizers! - and over 100 Facebookers and friends, plus everyone in the fam called me and/or wished me HB! very nice, indeed. Not the stuff, but the feeling of it all, was quite wonderful! ... and your email topped the cake! Thanks sweetie. Let's talk again soon. What's up at school and the space center?? luv ya. - Matt p.s. - I gave the doggies a treat, FROM YOU, and they said to say "Thanks!" (wag, wag!) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Happy Birthday! From: Wendy Perelstein Date: Sat, April 06, 2013 2:22 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hello Matt! I just wanted to drop you a line to wish you a happy birthday! I hope you did something fun on your skippy-day. Please tell everyone hello from me and Mark. Here's to many, many more! PS: Send my regards to the dogs as well -- Wendy Perelstein wperelstein@gmail.com 719-633-5752 --- 07:23 Hi E. Any luck with the book? (I assume not much, since my last few emails have gone unanswered...) Are you ok... just busy with the move and all? - Matt --- 08:04 Yo Ray-asaurus, I hear you about getting published... not fun. We're using Smashwords.com and it's gone well, technologically. We have another book being 'converted' now (properly-formatte Word doc). FYI: there are a few typos on your site http://www.itsjustanevent.com/. I'm good at editing, so let me know if you want a specific report... We call it Emotional Aikido, rather than Karate, 'cause Aikido (tho' not as popular/known by the kids), uses the attackers' energy to avoid, and 'throw' the assailant off you... with no actual attack by us (like in Karate). Glad to hear of your success with that 8th grader!! My personal opinion is that middle-schoolers like him are the BEST time to reach kids. I keeping saying... if you're into validation and instant gratification... TEACH EQ....it's awesome for 'seeing' your results, often instantly! People are often so pleasantly surprised that they have so many choices, emotionally... I love that! So, I'm curious... what do you suggest that kids/people do with their Anger? toodles. - Matt On 04/06/13 12:46 PM, Ray Mathis wrote: -------------------- I'm pretty much done with a book called "A Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers (Students, Parents)". Did it last December, and am just polishing it up now. Plan to post it on the "TeacherspayTeachers" website. Trying to get anything published is,at least so far for me a nightmare. Literary agents, etc. The way to go seems to just do something electronically and use one of those services to get it on amazon etc. But the toying with that great model you shared is just me exercising my brain. And thanks for buying a picture. If you'd let me know ahead of time, there's a way to give discounts, and I would have been glad to give one - if I could figure out how. I would like to write a shorter book on Mental and Emotional Karate for kids in school and probably post it on that website as well. Just finished working with an 8th grade boy who was being bullying a lot, and he took to it like a kid who just did his first set of barbell curls and got that pump in his biceps. He was hooked. By the third session he had this smirk that said he got what we always try to give people with the whole idea of choices. Neat experience. Keep in touch buddy. Ray --- , Orders from Meg Greene on , CHRIS & STACY MARTIN (Eric Martni) 1/2B, 2-2', one leaves, 1 not ,Brandy 2B, 16-1', leaves are better ,Blanca E Rosales de la Garza 411 S 12th Street Suite M 53 McAllen, TX 78501 1/2CS, 1/2L Andrew's book (where are they?!?) PP = 3398 -44 Angelina's (TWS) -40 The Coast Cinemas -5 LinkedIn (start ad account) -32 Online Labels -8 GoDaddy 08:28 sara francis (boyle) FB-IM Hi. What did you decide about the gyms/branches? I'll be cutting orders this afternoon, then not again 'til next Sunday... --- LI-EIN we now have: - Daniel Goleman - Daniel Pink - Anthony Robbins (Tony Robbins) - and just recently, Carol Burnett and Kevin Bacon (lol, tho' not the celebrities). --- 08:33 (Mike Duffy) Donald Kevin B. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello everyone - my name is D. Kevin Bacon (not the actor - we have fun with this one) and happy to be part of this group discussing EQ. I've been in the pharma world my entire career (34yrs), with most of my time leading sales teams (very passionate about this role). I'm very interested in evolving my "EQ" as I'm always searching ways to reinvent myself. As a sales leader, it's vital that I understand the motivations of my team and how best to "lead" with different personalities and situations and I know that I must adjust/evolve if we are going to succeed. I work best in the "S3-4" (Situational Leadership) quadrant, so in order to get to those quadrants, it's important that I lead my team (& individuals) in that direction. I hope to gain insights from this group and look forward to participating - learning & evolving.. --- A Special Kind of Courage, Doug Westmoreland http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/blog/2013/04/05/a-special-kind-of-courage/?Id=36366 Courage - the quality of mind which meets danger or opposition with firmness. but what about our courage when we are alone? in the little things... the house built on sand may be just as secure as the one built on rock... if there isn't any storm! trouble reveals strengths Henry David Thorow Most people, by their own admission, are living lives of quiet desperation. --- 08:55 Hi. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, again! (No wonder we get along so well... our birthdays are only a few days apart!). Hope your Clovis class went well. So, here are my latest thoughts about promoting ND... - You're right, I've done a lot of things BESIDES directly promoting class. Some have worked fairly well, some have been a complete flop, and twice, we've been ripped off with no results whatsoever... not good. Although I believe that proposal I sent re: the online webinar would be excellent, I fear betting almost the entire remaining budget to that ($3750), and having another flop. sooo, I want to go more direct this time... Are you familiar with Google Adwords (how sites advertise on Google)? I'll show you... click on Google.com, search for something (like 'what is eq'), then when it shows the results of the search, the right column shown are pay-per-click ads. Whenever you click one of those, the advertising company gets charged. I got a coupon from Google to 'get $150 free when you spend $50', so I opened a new account. I didn't see the credit, so I looked for a phone number... called... and wow, I now have two people helping me... they're gonna write the best copy for us, set it to run only for folks within 100 miles of Fresno, for the May 17 class. They asked how much tuition is and how many students we needed, and did some calculations to determine that, if we set our budget for $30/day for the next 30 days, that we would fill the class! Of course, this is theoretical, according to their stats on other sites... once customers land on our page, we still have to close the sale, but if it's not going well, we can modify the budget (it's totally in my control), or even stop it, at any second. So, if we let the entire campaign run, for 30 days, the total outta-pocket would be $750. I paid the first $50, to get the free $150... and I'd like to give this a try. So, Google has now sent me 12 keyword-friendly ads they wrote, and we have another appt. to talk on Friday. By then, April 12, @$30/day, max of $150 (-$150 credit, so...). If we get $150 worth of clicks, with no results, I can modify/stop it then. Whatchathink? - Since we've talked, I finished EQ-101.2 and EQ-101.3 (and been on the radio again). I'll forward the invoice as soon as I get it, and if you would send her a check, directly, that would be super-cool. Emotional Intelligence 101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1: The Basics -- http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31, just me) EQ-101.2: Emotional Healing -- http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, Paula and I) EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, Paula and Sharon and I) - After writing the above about us getting ripped off, I wrote a strong letter to one of them, and she AGREED to refund our money "by the end of the month" ($400, yay!). I was being super-understanding, but I said, "no, that's enough, refund us, now" (yay for personal power... I'll have to try that again someday!). - I found a guy who offered to type out some of the most important part of my notebooks (11x), so I'm hopeful that he comes thru. $10/hr, $500 est. total. I'll pay him outta my pocket, if necessary, as this is important to me (but probably won't directly get students)(tho new cool wording for the brochure is included). - I've still been gathering info for the Draper-Richards app. Through some new numbers/research/testings, I now believe I have enough ammo to make a VERY compelling case for EQ to change the world (big yay!). - I'm not sure what to do about the ND brochure... I'm feeling stuckola. I know what you want, and I WANT, but I cannot get myself to DO IT... any suggestions? Maybe it's just an accountability thing... sometimes, I don't make goals for myself, 'cause I don't trust that I'll keep 'em. Thanks. Look forward to your thoughts! love, - Matt --- breakfast, great food (ham, potatoes, eggs) swept floors but mentioned about my encouragement vs. her discouragement, and of course, it didn't go that well. we have a habit of when we're afraid, or anxious, we separate... --- 10:36 Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Hi Phebe, I went to the link for the article of Chris Frith and though I didn't take much time , with his data, what stood out for me was his conclusion, expressed in these two paragraphs. "So, simply by sharing their conscious experiences, people can arrive at a more accurate view of the world. Our consciousness is not a prison cell where we live, isolated from other minds, but a doorway into a social world where we can work together to achieve a better understanding of ourselves and the world around us." I think it is interesting that his conclusion is actually something I very much agree with as long as the climate for sharing is safe for the 'art of communication' which requires openness, sincerity and acceptance (open-ended) rather than being led in a climate of right, wrong, judgments ( intended to fix and figure out a definitive conclusion.) Over the last 20 years (as you know) I've been teaching the Unleash the Power of Your Intuition Mentoring Seminars to give access to the storehouse of intuitive wisdom that resides in the deeper realms of our consciousness. BECAUSE we have elevated the power/importance of mental outflow through language, and our emotional intelligence resides in the realm of the sensual, it takes practice and intent to learn how to translate feelings into words. Our intuitive mind speaks in pictures not words. To me the key is that we each are required to shift our good, bad, right, wrong habit of thinking, to a broader consciousness that encompasses imaginative perception, analogies, story, spontaneous expression, all the creative means to express and connect with ourselves and others. So, my dear Phebe, the spark and passion that you bring to any discussions that capture your interest are invaluable. I love your contributions. By Susan McNeal Velasquez --- “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there,” - Yogi Berra not sure what that means, but... “If we don't know where we're going, all roads lead there." --- Glori, EQ Testimonial Judgments/Beliefs Running the Show Unbeknownst to You One thing I've realized after learning about EQ for over 30 years is that we all have many judgments/beliefs that we are totally unaware of. Now you might think, like I used to, well good if I don't know about them, they don't affect me. Well, I was DEAD wrong and so are you if you think that. There are SO many beliefs we have, we are unaware of that are totally running the show. In other words, we are making choices and decisions based on thoughts and beliefs that we are unconscious of. I've always prided myself for being an honest person. There is more to honesty that just stating facts like, I went to the store today and bought groceries. Or the honesty of telling a big truth like, you've been sober and not drank alcohol for a month and you had a drink today. I used to think honesty was about telling the truth about facts. Most people aren't really honest with themselves let alone other people. I really love it when people try to live their life by how they think things "should" be or only allow themselves to feel the way they think they "should” feel in any given situation. That gets people into a whole lot of trouble and if you're not even aware of that belief there is no way to change it. The more knowledge you have about what you think and what you believe the better choices/decisions/judgements you will make in your life and the better you will feel. The reason I got into counseling all those years ago was because I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I was tired and my feelings being hurt over everything everyday. Face it, don't we all want to feel better. To this very day I still want to feel better than I do now. --- 10:53 FB-ND Cool article, from Glori Celis?, one of my heros, about bringing Self-Honesty to a whole new level. Short, but powerful! click it. One of the things I admire most about Glori is her unwavering commitment to learn as much as she can about herself, and to be super-Honest with herself and others (even when it hurts, to the core), IN ORDER TO feel better, get better, do better, be a better mom, be a better friend, be a better person, for herself, and her fam! You've been an awesome EQ role model -- thanks! --- 11:53 Bob Whipple Three words: The Root of All Conflict When was the last time you were in conflict? If it was not today, then it probably was yesterday (unless you are a hermit). Numerous authors, such as Bayazit & Mannix (2003) have written about the methods to resolve conflict. Typically the techniques discussed in the literature are things like: 1. Flight - avoiding the problem 2. Smoothing - trying to make people feel good 3. Negotiating - finding compromise or win-win actions 4. Showdown - driving for a decision 5. Confronting - Getting to the real issue I think it is important to understand the root cause of conflict instead of just focusing on ways to deal with it. In my opinion, three words lead to most conflict. They are, "I AM RIGHT." Reason: we each have a parochial view of what is happening, and we believe it to be correct. When others do not share that exact view, they must be wrong by definition. Would you agree with this analysis? I go so far as to make each of my students wear a three-inch "I AM RIGHT" button to remind them that they essentially wear that button every day at work, at home, and in social situations. For more detail on this theory and an antidote, you can call up the attached three-minute article. less… The Root of All Conflict thetrustambassador.com Can you believe a single three-word phrase is the basis for nearly all conflict? It is true that conflict shows up with numerous symptoms and there are many different ways of resolving it. If it we... --- Self-first Therapy, ND every time, Doc's Huge Group, etc. talk, write, share, listen, cry, feel, allow, express, replace, re-decide I like my expression here! Taken during filming of EQ-101.2: 'Emotional Healing'. Feelings and Emotions Sliloh, I'll need another, too... EQ-101.com: Emotional Healing... to teach about EQ. It should highlight: Emotional Intelligence 101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1: The Basics -- http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31, just me) EQ-101.2: Emotional Healing -- http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, Paula and I) EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, Paula and Sharon and I) ... what I need is a plan! coordinate all the pieces. which are: mp.com - LI EIN - 45k, managers, coaches, Business, leadership, help the organization, teamwork, sales how can adding EQ to IQ help in business some personal, mostly business, mostly left... but right is apparent, too! - FB - Twitter - YouTube - Google+ https://plus.google.com/u/0/102969868167127324718/posts - Pin It http://pinterest.com/eqrocks/pins/ - Scoop.it! http://www.scoop.it/t/eqrocks - WebSites mp.com EQRocks.com EQ-101.com Emotional-Intelligence101.com NewDirectionsWorkshop.com 2GetHelp4Vets.com 2GetHelp.org EQ Lessons and Daily Quotes: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ar.htm (EucProducts.com) --- >> write an article about LI-EIN, from my POV. and post it on LI-EIN. someday, no rush. --- Keyword: what is eq Competition: Low Global Monthly Searches: 2,740,000 Local Monthly Searches: 673,000 emotional intelligence: 368,000 what is emotional intelligence: 368,000 daniel goleman emotional intelligence: 14,800 emotional intelligence test: 49,500 emotional intelligence goleman 22,200 daniel goleman: 110,000 emotional intelligence eq: 33,100 Joshua Freedman: 2,900 Matt Perelstein: - rutabaga: 135,000 -- FB-ND Short Description: Transform your life thru Emotional Intelligence EQ. De-mystify your feelings, make better decisions and live FREE! Next class May 15-17, 2013 in Fresno, CA, USA. Description: The last great adventure on earth is the journey inside ourselves! Discover a whole new world inside your own heart and mind. In school, we were taught IQ -- the left-brain logic, reason and knowledge needed to get a job -- but we can have a high IQ and low EQ -- and not have happiness, success and love in our lives. What's missing is the power and passion of the right-brain (EQ) that we are not taught -- the creativity, intuition and joy that allows us to connect deeply with ourselves, and to others, to understand and master lifeskills principles and techniques, in a safe place where we can all grow together... so we never feel alone, again! Thru a series of powerful, time-tested individual and group exercises, we can help heal your heart and emotions -- to Release-Replace-Rejoice old pain, anger and grief from your past -- to start anew; refreshed, rejuvinated, relaxed and hungry for more -- more joy, more love, more life! --- 1:07 LI-Msg a few quick responses: - super good point about that perhaps Anger is the biggest feeling, while frustration, irritation and annoyance can be less threatening, and 'smaller', and easier to manage. I can see where that distinction could be most helpful to many! We do the opposite and, to simplify things, we try to 'boil down' most all our feelings down into just 3: Anger, Fear and Sadness. If we can these Big 3, we can handle most anything life can throw at us. Therefore, we say that frustration, irritation and annoyance are all Anger -- and therefore the 'rules'/guidelines/skills in dealing with anger apply across the board. But, when trying to 'make' those rules, and learn these skills, your FID-reduction steps are Excellent! - but here's the rub (for many), is that we ARE those guys who have people beat a pillow (ever tried it... it's pretty amazing to feel THAT personally powerful, and it's like magic for healing abandonment, abuse, depression, and more!)... but we have not had the problem where anger begets anger... quite the opposite. We have people practice "venting anger" vs. "conversational anger" in class, so it's real clear what we're striving for. As you said (and I posted this as a Quote on the group's most popular thread...hope that's ok): "The capacities of the brain are a double-edged sword in many ways. The imagination that makes us creative and helps us avoid danger is the same one that creates anxiety disorders and phobias. The anger that might very well save our lives someday, could very well cost us our lives, as well. The shame that stops people from doing horrendous things can cause some to take their own lives. It's all a question of learning how to harness it for more good than bad." - Ray Mathis (LI-EIN group member and EQ trainer) yeehaa! - Matt On 04/07/13 9:03 AM, Ray Mathis wrote: -------------------- Hey buddy, The first and foremost goal with anger is to teach people to lower their frequency, intensity and duration of it. But that is balanced with USA, or Unconditional Self-Acceptance for making ourselves angry, or to feel anything else.. Part of being human. To reduce the FID of anger, we teach and encourage them to have 1) An internal locus of control 2) To recognize the common types of irrational thought 3) To correct that thinking 4) Have a step-by-step approach to life events that helps them do 2 and 3. Pretty much what' on the website. It's really all the brainchild of Albert Ellis, which I learned from an REBT therapist named Terry London in Chicago. I try to get the "disputing" (questioning and challenging) part to become as automatic in their brains as "spell check" or "grammar check" is on a computer. In the E step, we simply offer new ways to look at things that might keep them from getting as upset. It's always easier for people to problem solve, resolve conflicts, assert themselves if they can get down to qualitatively different emotions like frustration, irritation and annoyance instead of being angry. For most people, anger is just too much "energy to move", and causes them to react, and plug into a lot of old dysfunctional and counterproductive behavioral/verbal "ruts". If that all makes any sense. I know a lot of folks in our field talk about expressing anger in healthier ways. I guess the difference is that while we accept it as part of being human (USA), we strive first and foremost to always help and encourage folks to reduce the FID of it, because we recognize how difficult it is for people to say and do things better as long as they stay angry. Terry always tells classes a story about a lady who first went to one of those therapists who has people beat a pillow to vent when they think about someone and what that person says or does that supposedly "makes them mad". She went there because she was getting increasingly angry with her husband. But she stopped, and came to Terry because she was noticing she was now getting the urge to beat her husband when she got angry. And the best part is it's doable, and people like the feeling of self-control and self-efficacy. Thanks for the heads up about mistakes on the website. If it's not too much of a bother, be glad to hear what they are. Or, I can just go back through. And thanks for the heads up about the online publishing service. I've heard others talk of that one as well. BTW, could you give me that one more thing. I accidentally deleted it in trying to decrease the size of the email so LinkedIn would let it through. :) Ray --- Learned Helplessness, Martin Seligman 80% of pop major obstacle "I can't..." Comfort zone creatures of habit reluctant to change content and complacent then fear to change traped and helpless unable to take control strive for security over opportunity Courage: - Courageous Patience: persist, hang in there totally fearless person, Unstoppable Boldness, based on intelligent assessment of risks and rewards Step out in the face of uncertainty Gen. McArthur, Patton, courage is fear hanging on a minute longer. Katie, terminal cancer, fiance Nick oxygen tank Nick parents she died 5 days later give back opportunities to draw on Dwight and Doug, where's the pic? --- 3:30 And to Matt and Ray....I am totally in on the book idea!! - Hey Mary, thanks for the encouragement! He's almost done with a book, and I'm writing stuff down like a maniac, but I keep reading/finding/coming up with more and dif. and better EQ stuff... this is very exciting time to be involved in this new industry, with brand new information, and life-changing, world-changing concepts! As for caring, yes, it can sometime be very 'expensive'... but, like so many things (as Ray put it) it's a double-edged sword... caring can also be the BIGgest payoff we'll ever receive! For me (and you, and Josh, and Ray, and Jim, and Daniel, and Elly, and many others here), we choose to care! EQ = Love. EQ = caring. EQ = giving a damn. EQRocks! --- Carol F. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi Everyone, My name is Carol Fitzgerald. I live in Idaho, but work just across the boarder in Onartio Oregon. I work for Treasure Valley Community College under contract with Snake River Correctional Institution. I have been interested in EQ over IQ for many years.For my Master's Project I wrote a Literacy Rich Emotional Intelligence Curriculum. I believe that increasting the Social and Emotional intelligence of at risk students and those already incarcerated is of extreme importance. --- "Effort is the Law of Life, to cease to strive is to cease to live" and another one of HENRY DAVID THOREAU: "The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?" "Please stop waiting for a map. We reward those who draw maps, not those who follow them." - Seth Godin --- We don't need permission to be awesome! "Deal with your emotions or they will deal with you." "If you think you can keep a lid on your emotions, you actually can't, they 'leak' out." When I'm trusting and being myself as fully as possible, everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously. - Shakti Gawain When you truly give up trying to be whole through others, you end up receiving what you always wanted from others. - Shakti Gawain "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ouselves strong. The amount of effort is the same." - Carlos Castenada --- PP = 3417 go do orders, only have 15ish ("only") --- LI-Msg Dan Waldschmidt Hey Dan, thanks for the connect! Listen, I was on your site, and I am very impressed! That's one of clearest, and most resounding sites I've seen... and it sure sounds like your customers are happy with your work, and guidance... well done! ... and that's what I need, guidance. I have a bazzilian irons in the fire, but they're not coordinated, nor effective in reaching many, and there's just not time for me to be farting around with this, when people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. How do we get started working together... a phone conversation, or a questionnaire, or what? btw, I approve most of the posts on the LI-EIN group, but I always stop to read your articles. Our rule is that most any post with a link in it, especially if it's not presented as a question or a 'discussion', goes directly to Promotions... however, some of yours have gone to the main Discussions section because I thought they were so relevant and/or of interest to everyone (or I want them to read it, whether it's 'of interest' or not!). Thanks. Keep doin' what you're doin'... - Matt --- posted 2 new photos of me, today the 15yo pic of my crackin' up, is my new profile pic (4/1) (just in front of YTTLTWTS, it's great!) and the snapshot from EQ-101.2 (20/4) where I have this great expression! yay LI ad, 759 impressions, exactly 0 clicks! wow, good ads, ey? --- 6:08 PR and I do Artists ?? What about Courtnet Fink... are the rows below here, as well, that should be fill down Got some done! she picked Excel up SOOoo fast -- smart girl! but her truck locked itself, with keys inside no luck getting door open USAA (FB Towing), 1st time, wonderful service used cutting wedge and BP cuff to pry open door, then long pole to open door (just like we tried, RR suggested) some dinner some tv 11:30 to bed POWER OUT! oh well, I'll get it in the morning --- 4.8 morning still no power MH fridge not on, generator won't start, engine won't start jump with yellow box, nope to RR's to get our generator, nope 07:10ish Power's back on -- yay! 07:39 here to send spreadsheets to PR --- Ray Mathis has sent you a message. Date: 4/08/2013 Subject: RE: "Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader. IQ is a threshold competence. You need... All sounds good to me. There was no criticism intended in telling that story about the woman beating the pillow. It's does help tap off the intense energy associated with anger. Before I learned what I did, working out with weights did that for me. Still does, just not as much as before. No question about it. It just didn't work out for the best for her. And when I said our first move is to teach people to reduce the FID of anger, that doesn't mean other ways of approaching it don't work. That's just the way REBT works. I've always taken the approach that whatever works, do it. We do make a distinction between temporarily feeling better, and GETTING better though. There are a lot of ways to temporarily feel better, some healthy, many not. What they do is give people a temporary vacation from the events and thoughts they have about them. But I liken that to what OTC products do for the symptom of a cold. As long as those are in our system, we get relief. But once they wear of , the symptom often return because the virus was unaffected by the OtC's. Likewise, when we sober up, or stop meditating or whatever, the events usually returen, if only in our imagination, and the thoughts that go with them do too, and feeling starts to build back up. If you look at that formula I always use, EVENT + THOUGHTS = FEELING, venting really bleeds off the right side of the formula. I often liken venting to blowing your nose when you have a cold. You temporarily can breath better, but if the virus is still infecting your nasal passages, you slowly get plugged up again. And have to blow again. Likewise, venting helps us temporarily feel better, but we often still have to deal with the same events and generate the same thoughts, and the feeling will slowly build back up. A lot depends on how someone "vents". If they and the person they vent to, or on, validate their irrational thoughts, they might even end up feeling worse afterward. To us, GETTING better means permanently reducing the FID of emotions like anger, etc. The only way to do that is to change the way you think permanently. i.e. stop telling ourselves we need things we simply want, stop telling ourselves something is awful when it's really just unpleasant, stop telling ourselves we can't stand things we simply don't like, stop label and damning ourselves and others and focus on behavior we don't like. The fine points about anger and frustration etc. In REBT we make the distinction between the two as being qualitatively different emotions because of different cognitive origins we believe they have. For example, ____________ really I High FID I I need it I I I sort of I Low FID __________ raally I High FID I I want it I frustration I I sort of I sort of I Low FID __________ sort of Don't care Calm Reality = I don't get it really All based on the rule that the bigger the difference between our expectations and reality, the more emotion we generate. And the fact that people often think they need things they simply want, and therefore needlessly disturb themselves when they don't get it. And within each section above, someone could just sort of want something, or really want it, or something in between. They could just sort of thing they need it, or treat it as an absolute must in their lives. And that will determine the FID of either frustration or anger. I have all kinds of visuals I use, but I can't send them through this service. Not sure if the diagram I attempted here will survived the email without shifting. Like a thermostat madel (old fashioned ones with the needle that you can raise or lower, raising the temp or lowering it, making it hotter, or cooler) Also use a visual analogous to lighted dials that were on the first tape recorders in the '60's where there was a needle that went from left to right depending on how much sound there was. They had a yellow section on the left, a red section on the right, and a green section in the middle. If the needle was in the yellow, you weren't picking up enough sound, in the red, too much and you'd get feedback, but if you got the needle in the middle, in the green, it was just right. So calm would correspond to the yellow, anger to the red, and frustration to the green. If you were in the red zone, and angry, you are more likely to react or overreact to what happens. You have too much energy to move. If you are in the green zone, you have energy to move, but not as much, and are still free to respond (choose how to). Make that qualitative jump from simply wanting something to thinking you need it, and it'd be like the needle jumping from green to red.. But we also try to keep the number of terms for feelings down. The English language can really screw people up in that regard because there's so many different terms for feelings. When I talk about shame, it can lead to anxiety or anger. And anxiety can lead to anger as well as something starts to seem like a bigger threat to us. Had someone once tell me the other side of guilt is resentment (like an alcoholic getting mad when confronted about his drinking) the other side of mad is sad, and the other side of embarrassment is hidden joy (like a kid who blushes when teased about a hicky, but the hidden joy is that he/she has someone who sucks on his.her neck). Kind of like those old 45's with two different songs on each, but it's the same record. Seen evidence of those three many times. Time for some boob tube, and my wife. Not necessarily in that order. Ray --- Links >> Daniel Goleman on don't let distraction kill your focus and productivity http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-on-don-t-let-distraction-kill-your-focus-and-productivity Daniel Goleman full interview http://leadersin.com/programmes/daniel-goleman-full-interview-nov-2011 A Special Kind of Courage http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/blog/2013/04/05/a-special-kind-of-courage/?Id=36366 Whole Foods' CEO: My Secrets to Success http://www.inc.com/lewis-schiff/john-mackey-emotional-intelligence-in-great-leaders.html Emotional Intelligence Is Key to Good Leadership http://smallbusiness.foxbusiness.com/entrepreneurs/2013/04/08/emotional-intelligence-is-key-to-good-leadership/ Personal Branding Is A Leadership Requirement, Not a Self-Promotion Campaign http://www.forbes.com/sites/glennllopis/2013/04/08/personal-branding-is-a-leadership-requirement-not-a-self-promotion-campaign/ --- LI Ads 939 impressions, 1 click (!) --- 07:57 Hey you! (our power was out all night, so I'm sending this, then leaving town, now!) good luck with all this. Make a new folder and put all in. ArtWorldDatabase is your main file. Media list DRAFT.xls is the one we were working on. Good luck. Save often and backup often. Call me at night or early to talk (before 0800). (also, write to Liz or call with that question we had... and tell them you're on it!) LOVE YOU MUCHLY, and proud of you! - The Dad --- 07:59 Hey Dan, thanks for the reply! I'm available this morning, 10-noon PST. tomorrow and Wednesday, 6-8am PST. do any of those work for you?? Looking forward to talking! - Matt 916-599-8597 (cell) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Guidance, please... From: "Dan Waldschmidt (202-630-6730)" Date: Sun, April 07, 2013 4:16 pm To: Matt Perelstein Matt, I would love to spend a few minutes with you talking through some of the roadblocks in your head. I'm a big EQ fan. I don't often use the words because people tend to "tune out". It pays off though -- as you know. How is your schedule looking for this week? Dan Waldschmidt 202-630-6730 --- 08:00 GO!! nice drive, but a bit depressing thinking of new digs. smaller orders ($190.02) major storm last night, so many downed branches and trees stopped 3x for branch removal, our road and 2wice on 128. 1:30 here 425 Market... Yucko! unpacking 2:27 desk, seated RIGHT in front of Shruti chair, tiny drawers, stupidly bright building... no style huge rooms of heads, working not enough plugs, or holes for wires low cubes with little privacy on dark side of street super-bright lobby, all glass and white windows, but just see next bldg. --- LI-EIN How you feel about feelings (your own and others)? What do you think about feelings? What judgments do you have about feelings? All great insights. I use my feelings - I had to first trust them. They either guide me to a story or myth I have held onto from my past or tell me something about what I just said or did that is not in alignment with other decision making parts of my anatomy like my mind. By Nancy M Sanders - Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. Emotional thinking occurs before "logical thinking" and you cannot think logically without emotion. Guilt, embarrassment, anxiety, anger, fear, love; emotions can range from very positive to very negative. If you are in a very emotional state your emotions will overtake your thinking entirely. For this reason I believe that in many cases your EQ is more important than your IQ, but it depends on the situation. If we are talking about work, your emotional intelligence is probably not as important doing corporate office work compared to managing a busy inner city hospital's emergency room. In the office you are probably not going to be as exposed to as many situations that may alter your emotional state the way you would be managing dozens of staff members in an environment where you are almost always on your toes. This is a huge generalization of course, but I'm sure everyone can see my point. To add to what the gentleman above says about "gut feelings" - one problem with gut feelings is that we now live in a society that is very different from the one our ancestors lived in when our bodies and brains evolved. If I have little money, my gut feeling towards my next credit card bill may be one of prolonged anxiety if that credit card bill is not due for another week. This is very negative since elevated stress hormones (namely cortisol) will have some poor health consequences, such as decreased immunity, fatigue, decreased libido, and depression. However, anxiety I feel towards the next exam I take will likely help me perform better on that exam, so in that case my gut feeling is generally a good thing. Emotional intelligence helps us sort out what we should and should not respond to, and how to cope with our emotions when we experience them. By Sean Gallagher --- MMF Hilleary, (sorry, I've been travelling...) I got 3,528x. They come from the table LabelListSUB. SELECT LabelListSUB.[Long Name], LabelListSUB.Address, LabelListSUB.City, LabelListSUB.State, LabelListSUB.ZIP, LabelListSUB.[Last Name], LabelListSUB.Company FROM LabelListSUB; The Donors table has a total of 14,513x, 13,889x of which have street addresses, dating back to 2001. LabelListSUB is a temp table that just holds the latest mailing list... so whatever criteria you use to create a Mailing List (Reports -> Create Mailing List -> Add/Exclude Records), that's what it's gonna export. If you want something different, let me know. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: Mailing list From: "Hilleary Burgess" Date: Mon, April 08, 2013 8:40 am To: "Matt Perelstein" ??? From: CORNELIA REYNOLDS [mailto:cjsreynolds@sbcglobal.net] Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 7:34 AM To: hilleary@mcn.org Subject: Re: Mailing list I was told it was around 7500. Cornelia Reynolds w: 707 937-4041 m: 707 494-2149 Interim Executive Director Mendocino Music Festival --- PP = 3275 -190.02 USPS --- Orders, from Fuzzy Wunderland(!) on... (new sub!) ('he' called 4.8) ,Catherine Pokey 307 W Chestnut st Apt A Odessa, MO 64076 1L (both), x ,Melissa Romyn 1L(B)*, as usual ,Tammy O 1L*, newgrowth ,Sukir 1/2 pound of roots, 1/2 pound bark and 3/4 pound fresh leaves ,Lynn Carter says 2S, but it's 1B x (seeds, too) xSara Frances 7B?!? ,Jennifer & Derk Milne 6340 Thomas Drive Rome, NY 13440 1C, 2' - >> when sending seeds only, try sending smaller pods, so it's less postage (if fat, becomes a 'package', rather than a 'letter') --- Perlstein, Sandler & McCracken, LLC, Attorney Profiles www.ctcondolaw.com/profiles.htm Attorney Profiles. Matthew N. Perlstein . Matt is a graduate of Bard College (A.B. 1968) and the Boston University School of Law (J.D. 1973). Perlstein, Sandler & McCracken, LLC, News www.ctcondolaw.com/news.htm Our People. Matt Perlstein and Greg McCracken were selected as Connecticut Super Lawyers for 2012. Super Lawyers magazine names attorneys in each state who ... --- Hey Martin, I forgot about the support group call I need to make from 7 to about 8 on Wednesday. We could do it tomorrow (Tuesday) or next Wednesday, instead... your choice. Thanks... sorry... looking forward to it. - Matt --- >> use Doodle.com to take a quick survey, or log preferences, and it totalls them, by option. http://www.doodle.com/satgi6c8vw7ny375#table --- CELEBRATE THE DARK SIDE!* 1) List your worst faults or flaws as you see them. Faults such as having an addiction, being overweight, selfish, thoughtless, stupid, mean, and all the other things we label our selves with. Be thorough, be painfully honest. Make sure you come up with at least 10. Take your time, think about it, feel free to add to the list after a few days or a week. 2) Give them names, such as "Depressed Denise" or "Fat Flossie" or "Angry Al." 3) Write them EACH a 1 to 2 page letter (preferably longer). Take your time—a few weeks or even a couple months. In this letter, include: A. How you affect my life and how I feel about you. B. What is your gift to me? C. What I need from you? D. What do you need from me? E. Thank you. EXAMPLE Here is a short example. Your letters should be longer and much more detailed and introspective than the sample. The more thorough you are, the greater and better results you will get. If you do this thoroughly, you will notice a difference in your life. We need to address the parts of ourselves we do not value or fully accept. Keeping them pushed down can make them stronger. They are there for a reason. We have to reconcile with them—we need to find a way to live compatibly in the same body. (over) Dear Angry Agnes or Angry Al: You have been a part of me since I was 10 or so. You make me blow up at those I love, you have been a problem in my relationships ... [expand on this]. Your gift to me has been to force me to stand up for myself and sometimes give me the energy and the power to change things ... [expand]. What I need from you is to know that I'm grown up now and I can protect myself without blowing up. I need you to let me try to take charge of the situation before you blow up ... [expand]. What do you need from me?: To stand up for myself more? I see. To take care of business before the anger builds up so that you have to step in? Yes, I think I can do that. [expand]. Thank you for letting me communicate with you. I think we'll be able to work together much better now. Love, ____________ *Created by Debbie Ford and used in the “Shadow Self” workshop offered at the Chopra Center for Well-Being Celebrate the Dark Side.doc --- EyeMed Vision Insurance Claims - mcp 2 Claims found. Claim # Date of Service Patient Provider Status Plan Name EOB 4371259030 03/27/2013 MATHEW PERELSTEIN LENSCRAFTERS #437 Paid IMS HEALTH INCORPORATED (9864091) 4370233500 03/20/2013 MATHEW PERELSTEIN ALBERT LEE Paid IMS HEALTH INCORPORATED (9864091) --- New email signatures: Matt Perelstein Healthcare Data Analyst, Informatics, Payer Solutions IMS Health® | 425 Market, 7th floor | San Francisco, CA 94105 | 415-692-9456 | 916-599-8597 cell --- Hi Ana Dutra-Clarke Human genetics, molecular biology, research, healthe care Thank you for your interest in our Emotional Intelligence workshop! I'm guessing that, as a molecular biologist, you have extremely strong left-brain skills and intelligence, so ND may be able to help adding right-brain creative, feeling, healing heart-smarts to logic learned in schools. A balance of IQ and EQ is key! We've been teaching this weekend class for over 25 years, with significant successes. What are your interests? What other information can I provide? Thanks! - Matt --- Google mperelst@gmail.com (alternate: matt@2gethelp.com) info@2gethelp.com mendocinofilmfestival@gmail.com --- D-R Adverse Childhood Experiences: Risk Factors for Substance Abuse and Mental Health by SAMHSA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX7HxYeswkI The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study assess associations between childhood maltreatment and later-life health and well-being. In this video, Dr. Robert Anda, a co-Principal investigator of the study, describes the relationship of ACEs to many of the nation's worst health and social problems, including substance abuse. - Adverse Childhood Experiences: Implications for Transforming Our Systems of Care by SAMHSA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWxSBoYDEbg&feature=em-uploademail In this video, Dr. Heather Larkin, Assistant Professor at the State University of New York at Albany, underscores the importance of coordinating services to prevent adverse childhood experiences and/or address their consequences. --- EQ testimonials on Gmail (re: YouTube) EQ-101.3: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - The Power of Anger by Matt Perelstein • 35 views In this segment, we cover the benefits of the most mis-understood and disrespected of our feelings -- Anger. Anger, handled poorly, can ruin families, relationships and lives... but handled... Comment on your video: EQ-101.3: The Art & Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - The Power of Anger A wonderful and clear breakdown. Excellent that 'victim mode' is spoken of, together with some options. Thank you :) PS. Got this link from one of the 6seconds webinar. VwHuntedwV . 2 weeks ago Great stuff guys!! Well produced and? amazing cast. :) - Comment on your video: VID00017.AVI Yeah! Let's use all of our facalties and spend more time discovering rather than searching other people's backyards for something to criticize. The real duty of human beings. Thanks Matt. - Comment on your video: VID00029.AVI Main thing is Yes, we do have a choice. - Arati Suryawanshi Reply to your comment on: 6SECONDS EQ SHIKSHNOTSAV 2012 0004 Thank you Matt Perelstein for you nice words. Our school has taken a firm step to take the EQ to education and to take it forward. Thank you for all your blessings.:) --- 7pm LM mtg at Ferry bldg 10pm 6sec conf. call 7am Dan W's calling! --- 6:30 go... --- 10+ 6Sec Nexus conference Nexus = junction, intersection, cross-roads Nexus EQ everybody working in this field invited all dif. to come together. when you're a change agent, you're swimming up stream you're trying to have The big tent approach plenty of room for everyone what is eq? theory bridged with practice sparking positive change Nexus EQ in Holland 34 countries a decade of discovery 2000's of evidence, proving now it's project, applications putting it into action! Jimmie Daniel, FedEx, largest org every new mgr, 6 months of EQ training Univ, govt's, at Harvard for a few days it's incredible, and it's not enough it's a big deal by 2039, 1 Billion people practicing EQ 26 years from now. Anabel's 100 birthday what can we do to get a billion 3.3m step it up in a dif. way delegations from around the world assignment: can we bring the EQ concepts to 10,000 in the next 6 months? 6sec will reach 75,000, alone not just raise awareness, but build applications speaker list: smart and wise people Mind-Mind Medicine Neuro-basis of Empathy who the experts are quoting Anabel Jensen Harvard profs intersection of science and practice how do we bring that to a much larger audience delegations do at least 1 webinar. pulling out gems what are the key points flip cams, and interview. To start a cool conversation, I've been asking people if they've ever heard the term Emotional Intelligence? If so, what have you heard? If not, what do you think it means? March 2014, eWeek, EQ festival goal D-R largest EQ event ever, > 10kx hear what's been done. reflect phase, what did we achieve lessons learned coordinated 1,000 meetings in June, 2014 using EQ toward positive change work that has to happen, as EQ champions building ripples - Sanjoli: We concluded our EQ festival week in Chandigarh on Sunday and reached out to over 40 school principals/ teachers / school owners and passionate advocates of EQ Viraja Maganti: We should then talk soon Sanjoli Matt Perelstein: NICE! Way to go, Sanjoli! Sanjoli: oh yes Viraja Matt Perelstein: You're a great ambassodor for EQ! Viraja Maganti: great Sanjoli :D Heather: I would like to connect with you Sanjoli and find out more and how to do it too Dr Deepa Raja: Great Sanjoli...... Sanjoli: next week we're doing a w'shop for 1000 teachers at a stadium in Delhi ... Sanjoli: yaaay ! Matt Perelstein: wow! Dr Deepa Raja: Could you please send me some details too... Viraja Maganti: Wow! Ram: thats awesome Sanjoli: Sure Heather...i'd be v pleased to connect Dr Deepa Raja: I am based in Gujarat........ Sanjoli: Thanx deepa Sanjoli: my email id is mindandheartfoundation@yahoo.in Sanjoli: lets all connect - are you crew or passengers? Outward Bound are you a player or a spectator? LF I'm asking you to do more! it's not fair, let's get going, just Join a call. in or not, conf. or not, let's talk! - Meet April, May, June - Webinar - Focused Outreach video's as to why are you coming to NexusEQ 20 seconds max when you see people in a car, it's just a car rude to cars, not people, just cars Josh, Sanjoli, Viraja, susan, Jenny, GLORI! - Add EQ to IQ, as low EQers are dangerous - teach our kiddos EQ, as after years of school, middle school, high school, even college, I felt ill-equipped to function in the world! - healing, Feel it to heal it! - like Sanjoli, into instant gratification, and I've never been more engaged than watching people's light-bulbs go on, and stay on! - business, military, employee engagement, governments, schools, parents, mental health, physical health, crime, even war! - most of our big social problems are about people McDonalds 73% increase in employee engagement universal solvant makes relationship work, or not How can I help you fulfill your vision? --- 11:28 Wow, so sorry to hear about your troubles... that musta been quite unexpected, ey? I understand about you not replying... I was concerned, so I asked (it's an EQ skill I'm trying/learning, rather than 'assuming' the worst). Glad it's going better now. your system must be in shock, somehow. fear? excitement? both? I know you're doing your best, and I DO appreciate you squeezing in this project with all you have going on. It's just super-important that the book gets out there... I don't know how to do it, and no one else seems be willing or able, so I'm kinda leaning on you... sorry... but know it's gonna matter... a lot! What was the side job? Hang in there, and let me know if I can help. Did you mention what part of Sacra-tomato your apt is in? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: EBook Conversion From: Erika Date: Mon, April 08, 2013 9:05 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, It's not that the book isn't going well, it's that I had a horrible couple weeks. I was suffering from insomnia, barely getting any sleep, and spending all of my days exhausted. It got so bad that I had to take Friday morning off, so that I could try to get some extra sleep by sleeping in. I now understand why it is that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. I finally managed to get my sleep schedule back on track and Sunday was the first day I woke up feeling normal. Everyone thinks it's the stress because of the upcoming move. In the middle of that, I also had a side job come through, and that ended up being rather stressful too. I'm just glad they were patient, because it took me a while to get back to them with my being so tired (which left me feeling depressed all the time). So...I'm better now. The side job is finished, I'm sleeping again, and I feel like these last three weeks before the move are going to rush by before I know it. Now that I'm feeling normal again, I'm working on the e-book when I have time, between packing all my stuff up. I'm sorry it's taking so long -- it's just been bad timing with my wrapping up everything in Fresno. I'm sorry I didn't respond to your other e-mails. It certainly wasn't personal -- I was waking up every morning wanting to cry from lack of energy. How are you? ~Erika~ --- We had the biggest storm of the winter last night, so it blew down many of the most beautiful, long, green, water-filled, mature, never-touched-by-a-human Euc leaves, that I can't usually reach. Try some (soon!). --- Change can be hard for anyone, following these ideas below can make it a little less stressful. 1. Begin by making small changes or break up large-scale changes into more manageable increments. This can make you feel better about handling the changes you are about to make while making you more comfortable with change in general. 2. Mentally link changes to established daily rituals. This can make changes like taking on a new habit, starting a new job, or adapting to a new home happen much more smoothly. For example, if you want to begin meditating at home, try weaving it into your morning routine. 3. Going with the flow can help you accept change instead of resisting it. If you stay flexible, you will be able to ride out change without too much turbulence. 4. When a change feels most stressful, relief can often be found in finding the good that it brings. An illness, a financial loss, or a broken relationship can seem like the end of the world, yet they also can be blessings in disguise. 5. Remember that all change involves a degree of learning. If you find change particularly stressful, try to keep in mind that after this period of transformation has passed, you will be a wiser person for it. 6. Remember that upheaval and confusion are often natural parts of change. While we can anticipate certain elements that a change might bring, it is impossible to know everything that will happen in advance. Be prepared for unexpected surprises, and the winds of change won?t easily knock you over. 7. Don?t feel like you have to cope with changing circumstances or the stress of making a change on your own. Talk about what?s going on for you with a friend or write about it in a journal. Sharing your feelings can give you a sense of relief while helping you find the strength to carry on. 8. Give yourself time to accept any changes that you face. And as change happens, recognize that you may need time to adjust to your new situation. Allow yourself a period of time to reconcile your feelings. This can make big changes feel less extreme. 9. No matter how large or difficult a change is, you will eventually adapt to these new circumstances. Remember that regardless of how great the change, all the new that it brings will eventually weave itself into the right places in your life. 10. If you?re trying to change a pattern of behavior or navigate your way through a life change, don?t assume that it has to be easy. Wanting to cry or being moody during a period of change is natural. Then again, don?t assume that making a change needs to be hard. Sometimes, changes are meant to be that easy. --- 11:46 a bit of Fraser, then off to bed --- 4.9 00:15 zzzzz (yay!) in SR, the bed is warm and comfy, and I get the whoooole thing, no doggies, no negativity just me, when I want 05:50 up all the problems you face today are going to go away, unless you worry them to stay. - NDW The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it. - John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) When you delegate the grunt work - the things you hate doing, or those tasks that are so painful you end up putting them off - you get to concentrate on what you love to do. You free up your time so that you can be more productive. And you get to enjoy life more. - Jack Canfield (unless, you can't even PAY people to get that stuff done!) "Learning and getting to know how others feel and think is part of lifes enriching aspects." "...just love to get to know people, I love to talk to them, question them, goad them a little, get them to uncover that little spark that makes them unique." Managing emotions and communication are vital in today's economy. One of my favourite lines is from Stephen Covey 7 Habits "seek first to understand then be understood". I like Ray's turn of phrase on "response-ability." "Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience." - RWEmerson --- It's such a shame how much knowledge, experience and love goes away when someone dies, without having shared much/any of it. --- 0700-7:32 Dan Waldschmidt 202-630-6730 Delivering the right message, in the right place, at the right time. What IS the message? Sell Workshops! sell EQ?!? Lots of pieces DW: "We're emotionally invested in you dominating your corner of the world." ND Brochure "We're emotionally invested in your health, happiness and well-being. If you're happy, you can spread more joy to our world!" DW: We've got your back. Even when it's not easy. We are doing what it takes to make sure you are where you want to be." EQ/IQ comparitive discussion not easily understood in the fluff of business nurture, emotional, care EQ with numbers increases chances dramatically of solving people problem no such thing as profit problems, ops, sales they're all people problems everything would go fine if it would go from the spreadsheet we know how people think and act and work there are ways to do it coaches, selling surveys hard to sell EQ is not enough, attach it to goals work with passive aggressive better way to problem solving! if business is broken, we've tried a bunch of stuff first 3 years in recession, we cut and we cut investments, employees can't cut any more, we gotta grow... bought stuff, but not growing what we used to buyers have changed re-trained them to not be as responsive explosion in technology shifts in our time so what? problem, how human beings, walk and talk and buy if you get better at it, you sell more, or you get promoted faster reg. marketing, 10% of marketing emails get open about .01% get engaged, click, reply 1,000 gets 1, industry standards he gets 4.5% open rate, response rate to 51-52%, 500% better! we call this Edgy (not EQ) Extreme Behaviour Disciplined Activity Giving Mindset human StrategY dramatically changed the results you have the leads already help them cure cancer from their POV PhDs, scientitist, psychologists come from a business aspect not successful at marketing wakes up and I want good solid brain people don't have money, companies do don't sell to people, sell to companies better, stronger managers don't water it down nouns and verbs matter walking vs. skipping academic AND apply how brain works if not novel, the brain ignores if complex, the brain summarizes it if threatening, fight or flight summarize it coo-coo, Dr. Phil what are the nouns and the verbs? how do you want to make your money? being a consultant, or selling content, or training? Tim Ferris, 4 hour work week impractical build a coaching business who do we pay per hour, selling coaching that way Info product image, what do want to be know as? EQ Dude. to make decisions is what I'm doing big enough, gonna help the world? surrounded by people smarter than me? does it nurture my soul? can't be about making money make a plan so money CAN follow you get on phone with one of my people send me info on what you're doing how do you make money? how do you want to make money? more edgy love and fear and pain, top 7 sales experts in business, by far the youngest, 34 don't mention business, or marketing 9:1 Love to business but I'm known for helping business case study on 1000 successful wha's your life score challenge their paradigm prove me wrong I think Hellen Keller, "move brilliant things in life You know this. you know something's wrong you don't have the courage, to say what's wrong challenge them! that's what I was feeling teach managers how to encourage velvet hammer late be person connect the personal to business they're busy, so busy why isn't this happening? communicate, it's a mis-diagnosis not adding MORE to their plate what does a busy HOPE, HELP if they can't make it, they're there about 500x partner up? or push people to you! big fan of >> 12 questions. www.EdgyAudit.com 625 possible scenarios, have answered all! "it's EQ, dude!" packaged for business. where you'd like to go. >> send me an email - MATT'S EDGY AUDIT YOUR SCORE IS 96 HERE IS WHAT YOUR EDGY AUDIT SCORE REALLY MEANS: You take more risks than the average person but lack enough self confidence to be truly bold. You are successful at times, but aren't satisfied with your accomplishments. You find yourself being reactive most of the time but are working proactively to change your behavior and achieve your goals. You tend to give more value than people expect but lack a caring attitude that makes people feel special. At times, you feel like people are taking advantage of you. You have a limited recognition of other people's emotions. You struggle to connect what people do with what they really think and how they feel. The EDGY Audit takes a look at the fundamental qualities that drive high-performance in people and organizations. Based on thousands of hours of research in human behavior, the audit scores extreme behavior, disciplined activity, a giving mindset, and emotional intelligence. - Dan's video http://danwaldschmidt.com/?home=video Edgy Extreme Behaviours: Thomas Edison company's effort not just working hard, massive effort to execute Disciplined Activities corporate introspection nothing gets done quickly Plan anything amazing make a plan and stick with it Giving mindset strong leadership, instead of not an Action, it's an Attitude risky, investing, without expecting any return Human Strategy we're not good at understanding others pretty fearful people, to survival mode business logic, excel, pie charts makes prob worse they respond to kindness, empathy - rejuvinates the brain it takes more than just business strategies and plans to be successful. it takes Emotional Intelligence that means teaching your people to be kind, to care the only way you'll really connect to your customers, and have outrageous business results, is to have a people strategy that recognizes people as individuals, not as dollar signs legendary businesses have all 4 qualities extreme behaviour without a giving mindset, makes you a jerk without discipline, you're just inconsistent being edgy can change your business, but first, you have to wanna change if that's you, we can help! we can help --- 08:03 FB-NDG Punology --- 08:12 yo Peter, shall I assume that your conversation about coming to class for your birthday didn't go too well? (when's your birthday?) I'm sure you guys have concerns and questions... can I help answer anything? My best to you. - Matt The EQ Dude (whatchathink?) 916-599-8597 --- copied entire Removable to 500 (5Gb) --- go... --- Lucky Dr. nice bus ride started new notebook "Happy" (but it doesn't fit in my back pocket, so... may be problematic. --- 09:45 Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. I'm Charmaine, I live in the Caribbean and I'm interested in EQ when the concept was introduced to me a few years ago and it has personally revolutionized my personal life journey and has deepened my passion to empower others in my family, work and community. I'm still working on it and am probably still in the middle somewhere but it's all definitely going in the right direction! It's important to me because I believe that all aspects of life are dependent our ability to handle relationships and situations. For me EQ is the difference between life success and failure. By Charmaine Sealey - Do you agree that EQ is more important than IQ nowadays, both at personal life and at work? Give your own opinions. I think it's important to have both. It's important to have the ability and competence to manage and maintain a good balance of family, relational, work and spiritual life. EQ is complimentary to IQ. Every aspect of our lives is based on relationships and all the IQ in the world will not bring you success if it's not balanced with successful relationships and management of your emotions. On the other hand a highly emotionally intelligent person will still need the competence to carry out life and work functions. My own personal experience is that as I continue developing my EQ I gain better results in my life all around. By Charmaine Sealey - THIS STUFF IS TOTALLY STUPID AND I’M LEAVING THIS GROUP. IF WE ARE GOING TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD WE CAN’T BE BOGGED DOWN AND DISTRACTED BY THINKING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS. At first I thought, Why do people come on sites they can't handle? Then I read on with fierce curiosity and I took my hat off to you for mastering one of the key ways of getting attention on social media! Great discussion Peter and thanks for awakening some very deep emotions in all of us! By Charmaine Sealey --- Tianna wrote: "What would I order to get good sized branches with tons of leaves? Like pictures here? Do you have a different section for these vineyer ones lol" you order some branches, and then you go, "Hey Matt, can I get good sized branches with tons of leaves... the vineyer ones... pretty please?", and presto, they're yours! --- so, I'm yipping about the new office, but.... yesterday, and again today, Jim is out and Shruti was sick, now WFH. and Youde's in China (the cube next) Luis is here, but he has no idea what's happenin'. and there is no one behind me. --- Hi Heather, Sorry to see you go, but I certainly understand. Thanks for being such a loyal customer for over a year, and THANKS for the nice referrals! You'll need to cancel your subscription from within your PayPal account... I have no control over it. My best to you, and thanks again! - Matt (we may be traveling to Gig Harbor again soon, as my brother-in-law is extremely sick, and we want to see him once again while we have the chance... love it there!) -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: our order From: Heather A Cummings Date: Sun, April 07, 2013 8:57 pm To: Eucs Hey Matt, I have sold my sugar gliders, so I do not need any Euc from you anymore. I will send your info along with the gliders for their new owners in case they would like to continue receiving it, and I will be sure to give your info to anyone I know with gliders or birds. It has been wonderful working with you! Thanks. Heather Cummings 7702 56th ave court nw Gig Harbor --- Wow, very cool response, Andrew... I'm impressed... and I am considering your offer. I'll get back to you soon with an answer, but I do appreciate your willingness to work with me on this! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Press Release BOGO From: Andrew Crisp Date: Fri, April 05, 2013 7:19 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Cc: "eReleases Office" Hi, Matt. Thank you for your response. What we can do in this situation is offer you the opportunity to reactivate the lapsed credit. If you purchase a New Customer credit for $269, we will place two credits on file for you the next year. The reasoning behind our expiration dates is that we pay our newswire partner for each press release, but we feel that this workaround solution offers our clients a way to take advantage of past purchases, while being able to meet our margins in relation to newswire costs. Please feel free to contact me for any information. Kind regards, Andrew Crisp Associate Editor eReleases Press Releases PR@eReleases.com Toll-free: 800.710.5535 Editorial: 410.931.2966 http://www.ereleases.com Take PR off your plate! The NEW Personal Publicist: http://www.personalpublicist.com Tell us about your experience! https://prw.wufoo.com/forms/ereleases-feedback-form/ On Apr 4, 2013, at 7:12 PM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: > any interest in why I might feel that way? > > -------- Original Message -------- > Subject: Re: Press Release BOGO > From: Christina Hoffmaster > Date: Thu, April 04, 2013 3:10 pm > To: > Cc: eReleases Office > > Dear Matt, > > You may remove yourself at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the email. > > Best, > > Chrissy Hoffmaster > Editor > eReleases Press Releases > PR@eReleases.com > Toll-free: 800.710.5535 > Editorial: 410.931.2966 > http://www.ereleases.org > > Take PR off your plate! The NEW Personal Publicist: > http://www.personalpublicist.com > > Tell us about your experience! > https://prw.wufoo.com/forms/ereleases-feedback-form/ > > > > On Apr 4, 2013, at 6:08 PM, wrote: > >> Please remove me from your email list. I felt very ripped-off and disappointed by you, so I do not wish to be reminded of this. > > thanks. > - Matt > > -------- Original Message -------- > Subject: Press Release BOGO > From: "Mickie E. Kennedy" > Date: Thu, April 04, 2013 11:14 am > To: matt@2gethelp.com > > > > Existing customers can take advantage of this one-week only Buy-One-Get-One-Free BOGO promotion. > > Now is your chance to receive two PR Pro press release distributions for the price of one: > > https://www.onlineorderform.com/bogo_erxj1.html > > That's less than $250 for a 600 word press release over PR Newswire (custom national distribution), plus our network of subscribing journalists. > > You do NOT need to have a press release ready to go. You have until July 30, 2013 to send both of your press releases. That's nearly four months! > > All distributions include a WireWatch report showing your press release on as many as 300 websites. You can see actual WireWatch reports from recent distributions here! > > Writing by seasoned professionals with a track record of media pickup can be added for an additional $300 each release. > > Act Now: https://www.onlineorderform.com/bogo_erxj1.html > > Best, > > Mickie Kennedy > Founder and President > eReleases > Toll free: 800-710-5535 > https://www.onlineorderform.com/bogo_erxj1.html - 11:28 Thank you for your understanding, Matt. As a small business we try our best to work out offers that will allow our clients to take advantage of previously purchased credits, while still being able to meet our margins with the newswire. Please don't hesitate to contact me for any additional assistance. Regards, Andrew Crisp Associate Editor eReleases Press Releases PR@eReleases.com Toll-free: 800.710.5535 Editorial: 410.931.2966 http://www.ereleases.com --- MMF Create Mailing Labels Start New List (shows 1 of 1 below) Add/Exclude Records Choose criteria Add I got it to add: Coastal Zips, by City, by Tag it failed to add any on: DE Range, Donor Amount, etc. What criteria do you actually want to use? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: FW: Mailing list From: "Hilleary Burgess" Date: Tue, April 09, 2013 11:03 am To: Matt, I need to create some mailing list segments based on certain criteria. Unfortunately PM won’t be ready in time, so I need to do it in the Access application. I’m having trouble making it work. Create mailing list > add or exclude records > no matter what criteria I set up in any of the tabs, the resulting list seems empty, and the list stats in the lower left corner agree. What crucial step have I overlooked? Do I need to set all criteria, or only those I want considered? Hilleary Burgess (707) 937-1232 (707) 357-1175 cell --- Yo... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you (and me) only 1 day apart... so how old are you?!? sorry about you guys getting slammed... but I do understand! We're in the country, too, and have few choices besides satellite. We used HughesNet for years (pretty good), but switched to EXEDE a few months ago, and LOVE it (way faster, more reliable, less expensive, higher download threshholds). Meal and Movie were Marvelous (thanks!)! I had to pay for my own party, but that's FINE with me, when it feels that good! We have a whole month before class, so take your time. You're getting quite the responses on your thread on LI-EIN... you struck a chord... fun, and learning at the same time! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: New Subscriber - 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) - 4/4/2013 From: "Peter McManus" Date: Tue, April 09, 2013 11:02 am To: Greetings Matt… My birthday was on Saturday and it was spent unloading boxes and trailers as we have just moved the weekend before. I did speak with my wife very enthusiastically about the event and will still follow up. Meanwhile…we are slammed with the move and we are both slammed at work, but I did tell her all about you and your group. I will still follow up with my questions…did I also mention that our move took us just far enough into the country that none of the conventional Internet providers are an option so we are dealing with that as well. With that, expect to hear from me soon, but meanwhile, how was your meal and movie with your daughter? Peter McManus --- Yes, Sukir, I'd be happy to help! We have over 400 Euc trees (eucalyptus globulus). Did you need the roots to be 'alive'? How fresh do you need them? how big, how many? We sell by the pound, including any part of the tree, so let me know your needs. Thanks. - Matt www.EucProducts.com -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus roots? From: Sukir Date: Tue, April 09, 2013 11:45 am To: "Eucs@2gethelp.com" Hi Matt, I recently stumbled upon your website as I was looking for Eucalyptus tree roots. I am working on a science project where I will be studying the allopathic effects of eucalyptus roots on other plants. Please let me know if you could help me with this. Thanks, Sukir --- Lunch with Robin at Chevy's on 3rd, across from Mascone! very nice. Fajitas -- YUM!! - Robin, This is the guy I talked to for a half-hour this morning, who wants to help bring ND to business... Dan Waldschmidt -- watch his video... you'll like his style! http://danwaldschmidt.com/?home=video whatchathink? - Matt --- helping Amber test versioning in Debug Cloned a measure (IMS_POC_CORTICOS) ran it changed age from 18 to 53 ran again 0 patients, zeroed out... darn Cloned IMS_POC_PrenatalHIV ran it, 5 patients age up from 0 to GTE 33 ran again 2 new Stories in PT Sort the Version combo in the header by Version... I suggest sorting the version dropdown in the header by Version... as it's showing like this: 1.1 1.0 suggested enhancement, p2 - Enrollment Data is missing I'm not getting any Enrollment data on the Pt Demographics & Enrollment tab. Demographics, yes, but not Enrollment data. Old measures show up, but not the new ones (PRENATALHIV or CORTICOS) Bug Fix, p1 - Fix the ability to load and compare different measure Versions. It now successfully loads patient and claims data for dif. versions. I'm not how to test 'comparing' dif. versions. --- 5pm- MFF BOD 23K in bank now membership has brought in 13,950 expecting more sponsorships: 23,620 Monk: 1750 + 140 = 1890, almost pure profit Great event! assets report has been filed Alex gave report --- sounds good! I'll try to get you the new growth leaves... Enjoy. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Notification of payment received From: Tammy Orndorff Date: Tue, April 09, 2013 5:50 pm To: Matt Perelstein They loved the ones with the fresh blooms/sprouts? I have 2 rescues that went nuts over them! --- Smart -n- Final $74 EP, ketchup, corn, Tomatoes, pickles, relish Pappy's(!), BBQ spicing. --- 8:53 Absolutely, Christina?! Glori? did hers (which is both honest and powerful), and we have a written story from 3 others (incl. Larry Hawks, and me). Are you in? Actually, I was thinking about Erika? and realized her and Megan? and Gloria? are all really good writers of fiction... maybe your story doesn't even have to be you(!) Would it help if the main character was an animal, or perhaps an alien, or whatever... use your imagination! (Hey, it was our right-brain imagination that put the pain there in the first place!). Whatchathink? I'm not trying to be flippant about your/our pain, I'm just saying that if we have a right-brain story to tell the world, let's use our right-brain imagination in how we choose to tell it. yes? Oh, and Christina... can we use some of your artwork in with the wording?!? Those pictures say sooo much, and you have such a story to tell (you've done so Amazingly well for where you came from)! --- So, do you guys want to talk by phone? I've tried dif. things, and those who come, seem like they've enjoyed it, but I/we need to get a format that works for all. What would you want in a support group phone call? ... a known topic we discuss / share about (like fear, or shame, or codependence, or boundaries), or get a chance to share/get feedback/process if you need to, or should I pick a topic and "teach" about that subject... or... talk to me. Whatchawant/need to feel close, supported, loved, cared for/about, like you're not alone? What would be worth an hour-or-so every other week, and leave you feeling better than you did? I want us to figure out how to give/get emotional support... properly, profoundly, honestly, boldly, powerfully and intelligently. We need your feedback to know what's working and what isn't. --- >> do up a plan to do an EQ brown-bagger show outline to Daisy, first ask about doing localized training who, what's available what can employees use company time to attend? --- "Every test in our lives makes us BITTER or BETTER Choice is whether we become a VICTIM or a VICTOR" --- 9:59 YES! Thanks! but here's the thing... it's UP TO US, whether it makes us Bitter or Better, right? We don't nec. get better, or bitter, or anything else... unless we Choose to learn from stuff, and get stronger, and consciously choose to NOT be a victim! The US Army just put 41,000 drill seargants (train-the-trainers of 1.1M troops), thru a 4-day training on "Resiliency". It's UP to use, whether we are resilient, or not. very most definitely cool! ... and we can refuse to be a victim in every area of our lives. So, I'm not on the right message, but I wanted to thank you for sharing how 'you do it'. I'm realizing that we are super-good at a few parts of the EQ healing/skills/cooperation/communication cycle, but not all of it. We can get people to experience their deepest feelings, to the very core of their being (even if they fight us), to open up a whole new side of themselves that they've never met, and help connect with their inner child in way that helps people Never feel alone again... but the practical day-to-day 'steps' and differentiations, and such that you have learned/come up with, are pretty scarce 'round our place. We need to join forces to create a more balanced, more profound, and more life-enhancing program... So, how about a Program... a 30-day, a 90-day, 6-month, ... "program" where we take them step-by-step, hold their hand, and help them learn/experience/see/feel/share/live EQ!?! High teens or adults. I envision as 24x7x365 world-wide emotional support network, of peers and pros, where people "Never feel alone, again", and I'd like to start that with smaller 'programs' where people get started, and stay connected, for good. Part of this would be a membership "gym-type' site where people pay by the month to join, and then can use it as much, and whenever they need/want. Lots of details to work out, but your teachings are exactly what's needed here! EQ-101 The Art and Science of Right-brain Emotional Intelligence (EQ) (something like that). Thots? oh, I know a guy who's a first-rate photographer like you (he does exotic birds, just back from Borneo), and I told him I bought that pic of yours thru that online art store... what is it called? How'z it going for you? Recommend it? thanks ole/new buddy! - Matt --- GEORGIANA SPRADLING Ph.D commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hello, I am an Emotion Management Coach. I am originally from Argentina. I practice in San Francisco, but increasingly coach online in Spanish and English, helping people recognize, understand, and manage fear, anger, sadness, and jealousy in personal or professional settings. I have found that when people stop repressing emotions and learn to use them appropriately, they are able to heal from trauma, feel empowered, are able to understand others, are more giving, and are able to achieve what they previously thought was impossible. I am interested in continuing to learn about the power of emotions and to connect with people who love and welcome emotions just as much as I do. LinkedIn. http://www.emotionskills.com - Susan P. commented on Have you ever regreted for not paying attention to the complain of your kid, . only to doscover months or years later that he or she... Thank you, Nkechi, for this prompt. I have had to go back to my children and apologize to them for not believing what they said about some childcare providers and educators. I was wrong to think that their descriptions were idle complaints. I definitely acted on subsequent accusations. Society has changed much, to the point, I hope, that there is much less of an expectation that the teacher (or whomever) is always right. . .I hope that my children remember the lessons they have learned the hard way, to protect my future grandchildren. - Rajat B. commented on Stress is a Choice Stress is good too in context - it keeps you alarmed, alert & conscious of unseen that's why techniques of positive stress are used used by manager's.Problem is Stress - applied in Positive or Negative aspect is usually taken as Fear by taker & this fear is different to different people. Fear is themain product at inception followed by sub product Stress & then by product Anxiety. Wat say ?? - Summary EMOTION MANAGEMENT AND LIFE COACH. COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST. CLINICAL AND COACHING EXPERIENCE: Twenty years helping people: • understand and control how their thoughts and emotions impact behavior, performance, and relationships • understand other people's emotions and behaviors • communicate in a way that leads to mutually beneficial interactions with others • manage strong emotions such as jealousy, fear, and anger • avoid and deescalate heated confrontations • manage diversity and resolve conflicts • acquire a broad range of interpersonal skills • increase coping resources • develop and balance life dimensions • become better leaders MULTICULTURAL SKILLS: Extensive travel and living abroad in Europe and South America, training in multicultural issues, as well as fluency in English, Spanish and French, allow me to work with individuals from different cultural backgrounds. I help people understand and communicate more effectively with their multicultural peers, to be more aware of cultural differences and tap the power of diversity. I am often hired by corporations to help their leaders or managers acquire emotion management skills. Specialties:Helping individuals: • Acquire Cognitive and Emotion Management Skills • Understand Cultural Differences and Resolve Conflict • Improve Emotional Intelligence and Communication Skills • Control Behavior in Self and Others • Balance Life Dimensions • Improve their ability to lead --- ---------- mcp ------------ Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson --- 10:34 Hi Gang, Very nice to meet you guys. Thanks for all you do to bring the magic of EQ to the world!! Please join Josh's "The Emotional Intelligence Network" groups: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SixSecondsEIN/ http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=75300 and/or let's connect directly: http://Facebook.com/MattPerelstein http://Twitter.com/MattPerelstein http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/MattPerelstein Talk to you soon! - Matt Once again, Sanjoli, you're one of my EQ Heros!! --- 10:39 Daniel Cook Hi Matt, I'll talk to Cathleen about the brochure. Hey, you share a birthday with my sister. Happy, happy!!! Thanks, Thanks! I would really love for you guys to take a whack at it! You know the concepts so well, and I'm sure you can word it in a way that's compelling, understandable, and with a strong call-to-action. Let me know! p.s. - Cathleen hasn't talked to me in awhile, and I think I've reached out to her. Tell her, if I have upset her, I DIDN"T MEAN TO, and let's talk and get it cleared up, k? thx. --- Euc testimonials Brenda L. Slosek Got my order today! Super fast and very generous with the leaves!!! Thanks so much... my gliders are going to be SO EXCITED when they wake up in a few hours!!! :) Brenda L. Slosek We just ordered our Euc branches yesterday! We've ordered from you before and have ALWAYS been happy with what you have sent! You are always so generous with the leaves and sizes of the branches! Oh.. and our Gliders LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!! Thanks!! :) - Leslie Mason NP my babies loved the last batch. Need more but no money at the moment to order. Maybe next month! - Thanks! You guys are incredible! --- Dallas T. commented on Stress is a Choice @ Rajat, I don't think any stress is good unless its getting you out of the way of an oncoming bus (or similar). I hear what you are saying though, and would replace stress with 'challenge' in your context :) Challenges can be exhilarating and interesting and good for us because of the positive emotion it causes. We were not meant (with our current physiology) to exhibit the stress response for more than a few minutes or hours. These days a lot of people accept it as 'just the way it is' and have mal-adapted to it. So, I'd reassert my position that stress is not a choice. It begins as an unconscious act. --- 11:30ish laptop locked up during Fraser, shut 'er down off to bed --- 4.10 06:00 up 06:20 >> MFF mail lists (4x) "Nobody is bored when he is trying to make something that is beautiful, or to discover something that is true." - William Inge --- Dallas T. commented on Stress is a Choice I feel that a lot of what is being discussed here is about what comes after the stress response, and people are speaking about what woks for them and their way to better manage the impact of stress. I also think discussions around good stress vs bad stress over-complicates a very serious problem in the world today. The stress response in our body can cause us to say or do stupid things. (Hands up [thumbs up?] if you have ever done or said anything that a few moments later you have regretted) That was just the stress response inhibiting your higher brain function momentarily and you exhibited a more basic action. (that you thought better of later) If left unchecked stress will also make us sick, and in some cases can lead to death. It doesn't even have to be 'big' stress. Constant low grade stressors have the same effect. Put MOST simply, if it feels bad, its stress. If it feels good, its not stress. Want to feel better more often? Well,,, then that's the time to go find something that sits well with you. Its a very personal thing. People sky dive for fun,, others knit. Chances are reversed, these people's reactions would reverse as well. I agree with people here that we can learn ways to lessen the response (we are easily conditioned), but if you exhibit the stress response, the science says initially, it is not a conscious choice. --- you have an opportunity this day to really affect someone's life for the better. Watch for it. - NDW --- 06:30-07:50 Ok, attached are 5 files. Let me know if these work for you. - Matt MFF mailing list segments (4x+1) Donors table, filtered and/or joined order by Zip, Last Name (for bulk mailings) where address is not null and zip is not null I formatted 'em all the same as the export file: Long Name, Address, City, State, Zip, Last Name, Company ex: "Frank & Elyse Pierce","11821 Westside Potter Valley Rd","Potter Valley","CA","95469","Pierce","Quality Landscape Co" - Donors of over $200 1/1/2011 to present Donors, Contributions, SourceLU, where Amount >= 200 and ContributionDate >= 1/1/2011 maillist-Donations200 = 179x - Donors of any amount ever Donors, Contributions, SourceLU, where SourceType = "Donations" maillist-Donations = 1,270x - Attendees of fundraising events Donors, Contributions, SourceLU, all SourceLUs maillist-FundRaising = 8,692x - Ticket buyers 7/11/2003 thru 08/02/2012 Donors, TicketSub = 28,941x maillist-TicketBuyers = 6,250x, in USA maillist-TicketBuyersIntl = 53x, no State or Canada, needs Country --- Sharon Wilson 352-854-6657 hasn't rec'd order Amanda, GoogleAds 800-826-9988 x23610 Target 800-318-8433 V81 ,IMS Paystub, sent to pkp since 10/15 --- 07:53 to the showers with ya!! nope Google Adwords (English, Spanish or French) Amanda, GoogleAds 800-826-9988 x23610 08:05 ok, now to the shower 08:17 close up and go! --- nice bus ride SG here, right behind my head! wow. type on right, then pop an email and paste away and send real quick. ouch. as long as I sit quietly, and LOOK at my screen, and don't type too much, I'm ok. her head is RIGHT over my shoulder, and she can see every single thing I do... feels very wierd! one day at a time, dude... it'll be ok (somehow) --- >> great ND brochure stuff, in Happy notebook. , pkp, $300 withdrawl (need $50 more) >> pay Tom , Dan, thanks. - 12:19 Hey Dan, I just wanted to thank you for the phone call the other day! I've now read and watched a bunch of your stuff, and I'm mighty impressed with all you've accomplished, dude! Damn. So, I just wanted to let you know that I'm formulating a thorough reply to your request for more info. What I heard was to "Say more" about my vision of how EQ can help the world, and how our expertise / product offerings can fit into the big picture... AND how you and I may be able to work together in the future! I'll get back to you in a few days. Exciting stuff... Stand by. - Matt --- Hi Sukir, I received your order for fresh Eucs, and I understand that you want: 1/4 pound of roots, 1/4 pound bark and 1/2 pound fresh leaves Actually, when I say a pound, I can send you just under 2 pounds (postage increments on whole numbers), so would you like more of any of these 3 items? I'm out of town working this week, so your order will be cut and prepared on Sunday, and shipped to you on Monday. Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com - I received your order for a fresh Euc Combo pack -- thanks!! I'm out of town working this week, so your order will be cut and prepared on Sunday, and shipped to you on Monday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com - Hey Matt (cool name!), I received your order for fresh Euc leaves -- thanks!! I'm out of town working 'til Friday, so your order should go out then. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- Tax is being charged for Eucs, but only within California(!) >> research this PP = 3473 -74 Smart -n- Final +7x yesterday, 3x so far today --- >> write to Paul Kemp! great to see him the other night realized I was pulling back, last time we talked you were in the hospital as our 2 of my relatives... and my birthday (getting old ain't for wimps, ey?) can I have an hour or two to work on the biz plan? at your place, or I'll buy you a coffee! NOT getting 'er done! phenomenol stuff happing in this new industry as people are realizing how amazing (almost magical) that EQ is/can be! --- >> Adwords! see Amanda's email login to info@2gethelp.com edit ads (must be approved) set budget limits get 'er going! >> confirm price with Paula! --- Windows Picture and Fax Viewer is the one with the cool Printing Wizard (!) --- Ian Austin, VP URS, harbor engineer, ferry rider 17 yrs ian.austin@urs.com - 5:15 Yo Ian... here's the site I was telling you about yesterday, where you can sell your own art work (photos) in many different formats! Good luck with it all! c-u on the boat... - Matt 916-599-8597 --- Yikes... I see what you mean, Anita! Mine is working fine now (amazing... all I have to do is put in the correct credentials, and Presto, no blockage!)... so do what you think is best. Apparently, it's working! Thanks again, and let me know when you get some time to continue... - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Updates for Matt From: sliloh Date: Wed, April 10, 2013 1:47 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, I gotta tell you there are a lot of attempted logins to http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/ in the last week. I put my email in there as the contact and it emails me everytime someone is locked out. If you go to wordfence in the admin panel and you can look in live traffic/Logins and Logouts you will see. All of those are since I was last logged in and some scrolled off. Then under Blocked IPs I block them permanently. under there it also shows ones blocked for invalid user names. Another 10 or so came in while I was blocking those. The only change I can make to that is to change the failed login attempts from 3 to 1, which I set because you forgot you were Matt P and not admin ;) I just wanted to give you a heads up, that's a lot of attempts. Of course my answer is 20 character gibberish passwords, but then you need to keep that stuff handy to get to. Anita --- MFF, label printing training of J, Melissa, whomever when? --- 6pm go... 7pm ND Support Group call Saundra Splat Glori Julie B. much laughter and fun... and learning! So yeah, 8:46 SR room paid Tom $350, cash ($300 joint checking, $50 EP) --- Three Essential Facts About Feelings http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/10/three-essential-facts-about-feelings 8 Basic Emotions Anger Disgust Surprise Fear Trust Anticipation Joy Think, Feel, Act Feelings are Messages are some feelings better than others? Joy = good Sad = bad Are joy and sadness opposites? Joy - I get something I care about Sad - I lost something I care about or are they expressions of the same need (something I care about) all emotions are valuable emotions are chemicals they effect our breathing, circulation, digestion... our everything. --- PP = 3331.03 -203 cash ($50 for Tom for rent, rest is mine!) --- 10:23 MFF From: Melissa Howden Date: Wed, April 10, 2013 6:22 pm To: Arlene Moorehead , "matt@2gethelp.com" , "mff03@mcn.org" Yo J, Good to meet you at the Monk the other night. Did you want to get together sometime this weekend at the office, and I'll give you a tour of the ticketing program... it's a nice program, very easy to use. When's good for you? - Matt (916) 599-8597 --- -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Guidance, please... From: "Dan Waldschmidt (202-630-6730)" Date: Wed, April 10, 2013 1:23 pm To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Vicky Hammond Thanks, Matt. I really enjoyed hearing about your work in EQ -- and look forward to your longer reply with juicy insights. Dan Waldschmidt 202-630-6730 We deliver strategies that change the conversation. Learn more. --- ND testimonial (after support group call) Glori Celis 10:46pm Apr 10 It was nice for me to feel vulnerable and know I was being supported at the same time. After the call I realized a belief that I've held onto that is a complete lie is "I'm not likable" I felt what that felt like from "little Glori's" perspective and noticed how it felt to realize the lie from that perspective. I'm reclaiming that little one inside of me because I abandoned her all those years ago. That is an amazing feeling! --- (I'm not sure if this part goes under Extreme Behaviour, Displined Activity, or completely nutso, but here goes...) We have our weekend ND workshop every 6-8 weeks, for 25 years now, in 4 states, over 2000 happy(er) grads, we've done 3 rounds of a 2-year instructor training course, I've written over 800 blog posts on EQ and 4 email-based tips and quotes, I have 8 notebooks full of EQ writings that are currently beeing transcribed, I have 6 websites, 3 twitter accounts, 6 facebook pages, scoop.it, pintrest, youtube (with hours of ND testimonials, informercials and teachings), I have over 1200 facebook friends (and I know most of 'em), 700 on LinkedIn, 1500 on Twitter, I am the primary moderator for the largest EQ group we know of (45,000), I've run the most amazingly-loving, supportive, positive, friendly, happy (but real feelings, too) support group of ND grads for over 10 years, I run an emotional call-in support group every other Wednesday, we've created 3 half-hour TV segments on "EQ-101, The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)", I've been on the radio numerous times, I've edited 3 books in print, I'm a certified Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Crisis Counselor, a certified Nurturing Parenting course instructor, a Microsoft Certified Professional, on 2 Boards, have 3 grown kids and 4 high-school-aged grandkids (whom I hang out with, and go skiing with, and took to Arizona over New Years to my parents' home)... oh, and I have a full-time job... and 2 side-jobs programming in MS Access (I'm on my 84th job for feds, 2 states, cities, counties, businesses and non-profits large and small)... and an extremely profitable business supplying fresh Eucalyptus to pet birds and sugar gliders (we're #2 on Google and Yahoo!, #1 on Bing), since 2004, over 2000 orders, almost pure profit (all product is free on our property, and all boxes are free from the USPostOffice). --- "What a man accomplishes in a day depends upon the way in which he approaches his tasks. When we accept tough jobs as a challenge... and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen. When we do our work with a dynamic conquering spirit, we get things done." - Arland Gilbert --- worked on DanW letter 'til 01ish --- 4.11 FYI! 06:41 I am now! :) Actually, yes, I'd like to go. I live in Fort Bragg, 200 miles north, and stay in San Rafael Mondays-Thursdays to work downtown SF, but I thought I'd come down a day early that week to make the April 28 meeting. Should be fun to meet people in person. I have huge respect for people who can function in multiple languages (esp. 3!). You've already had to activate your right-brain in a big way, so you're ahead of me/most in that area. Doing therapy, in dif. languages... wow. Hope to see you then. EQRocks! - Matt --- It is important to remember that if you are being attacked emotionally, it is more than likely not about you at all. If you are willing, God is ready. - NDW Whenever you are willing, God is ready. Whenever you're willing, God is ready. - mcp I collect quotes, as life skills! I also take a really good thot, and change it to to fit my world. ---- mcp ------- great way to start an 'I' message "In my world..." - Larry Hawks! Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose. - Lyndon B. Johnson Yesterday is ours to recover and relearn, and tomorrow is coming to win or lose. - mcp I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened. - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) --- "What a man accomplishes in a day depends upon the way in which he approaches his tasks. When we accept tough jobs as a challenge... and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen. When we do our work with a dynamic conquering spirit, we get things done." - Arland Gilbert Awe-inspiring or Yawn-inducing We don't need permission to be Awesome (5th time it's in here.) ------- mcp -------- Productive anger vs. Constructive Anger - mcp --- worked on Dan letter all morning plus some talk with PKP re: going to Sac for Sydney's party --- 08:15 go, to bus TJ's after! --- Monty Python - Exploding Penguin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k1ccguXiws --- The two top search engines are Google followed by Bing. Can you guess who #3 is? It’s YouTube. --- Euc Testimonials Jess wrote: "My gliders loveeeeee it!! l place it so they can crawl under it.. they love to hide in it and play :)" -on FB-EP - Hi, Matt. I just placed another order for a couple of starter packs. That seemed to make the most sense for us, variety-wise. The last time, the girls LOVED the larger, more rigid of the smallish branches that you included but didn't know what to do with the flexible ones. I put the more rigid smaller branches across the corners of the cage for them (sort of wedged between the bars and spanning the "L" shaped intersection of back and side panels to make a perch). They loved that and stripped those in record time. Anything that size or thicker would be great! The flexible ones, sadly, are sort of wasted on them. They also loved the leaves. :) Take care, and thanks again, Lynn --- 1:26 I did it! Jim came and sat on my desk and asked how things were going. I answered: - on IMM, I'm stuck in one area where I need to run the macro, but do I first need to create and save the macro, - and testing the heck outta Debug with Amber which I happened to have open, and I showed him the results - and helping Tom with CBRs (check with Shruti) --- lunch to celebrate 1/2 chicken with 2 sides ($7.95) Portilo's, 4 of 8x on card talked to Gloria re: ND wording for her resume --- 2:51 PP = PayPal balance: $3,390.43 USD +5x yesterday +1 today first day/time that tax was charged on an outta-state transaction (sorry, she complained, but yay!) Order Description: Shopping Cart Item Total: $25.90 USD Sales Tax (7.50%): $1.94 USD Shipping: $14.00 USD Handling: $0.00 USD Seller discount or charges: $0.00 USD Total amount: $41.84 USD Fee amount: -$1.51 USD Net amount: $40.33 USD - Hey Lynn, I was just looking at your order (since you are first person to ever pay outta state tax), and although you had to pay it this time ($1.94, so no biggie), but bec. your order subtotal went over $20, you were charged double shipping ($14, rather than $7)! Soooo, would you like the $7 back...or should I send extra branches... or should I put it 'on account' as a credit toward for your next order? - matt --- "Try some of column A, try ALL of column B. I'm in the mood, to help you dude. You ain't never had a friend like me!" - Genie, Aladdin --- 3:33 nice little nap no one uses the conf room behind me,except to have private phone conversations first meeting now (woke me up... how wooood!) --- made new playlist with all songs All.wpl, saved to Taskbar --- Ursula Oh, I'm sorry, I never replied to you! Yes, let's do 4/17 at 7. Where to? Marin Brewing Co for cerveza? Yes, I'll have my car in the ferry parking lot, so we can go wherever you wish...(well, almost anywhere!). The May 7th game is at 7:15pm vs. the Philadelphia Phillies (if you/we care!) I'm doing great, thanks! Lots of good things happenin', EQ-wise. Got 2 more videos done, and another radio interview. My job is ok, pretty easy, so it's good for now (until I can replace the income doing what I'm 'supposed' to be doing with EQ!). I'm talking to a millionaire guy I met on LinkedIn who's an EQ nut, too, and he asked me what's next... so I'm writing that up to send tomorrow. (I'll BCC you). How'z you? Should I ask about your mom, or no? Hope you're well! talk soon. - Matt Emotional Intelligence 101: The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence EQ-101.1: The Basics -- http://youtu.be/dyBCTNYRtsw (28:31, just me) EQ-101.2: Emotional Healing -- http://youtu.be/iXvkWL8EYJg (25:38, Paula and I) EQ-101.3: The Surprising Benefits of Anger -- http://youtu.be/-wZ0n6AUUwo (26:16, Paula and Sharon and I) --- IMS 5:22 go...(home!) 5:55 ferry, good notes in Happy txt: Josh-u-a is coming to help me do Eucs tomorrow, 3:30ish phone: Talked to Scott (track club, biking, trampoline!) and Finn (mole!), and the E-man (not being normal) Trader Joe's, good sides trex mix pkp SR - bandcamp --- 9:14 Marie Pokora Are you carrying around a bag of pulsating old air? Whoosh! Balloon Blowers of the World: (and that would be all of us at one time or another) It seems we all have our own supply of pulsating old air circling in our emotional aura ready to help inflate an issue that's been triggered by a comment or circumstance which landed in our emotional gunnysack. That heavy gust of emotion can make a problem look very big very fast. Once we add our emotional baggage to the issue that has just occurred (and it happens automatically), we've cooked up quite a concoction ready to explode at a second's notice. We all carry these gunnysacks around...even if they are not visible to the naked eye. They're probably the cause of all the physical backaches we have and, for sure, they're the cause of the emotional ones. These are our unhealed hurts...the things we just sucked up...or decided to take care of "tomorrow". Those tomorrow's and the sucking up over the years add up to a burdensome load and, unfortunately, we get more and more used to carrying them around and don't even notice they are there anymore... except for the fact that they drain our energy and lessen our life force and erode the joy from our lives. So here's the question I'm thinking about. What would it take for the emoto-balloon to go "Whoosh" and lighten those gunnysacks we are dragging around? Here are some of my observations. One thing I've noticed about my gunnysack is that in one particular case I had taken a very simple issue and had made it very complicated. That did it. Into the gunnysack it went and I'm not sure why. I recall at one point having a conscious intention to deal with the problem and one day the resolution suddenly seemed so simple. Guess I have to credit my celestial helpers for responding (and probably with great relief) to my determination to finally get the work done. Another time the answer was equally simple...a shift in perspective. However, I first experienced several days of assuming the worst (truly delaying the resolution) before the shift occurred. I wonder now why I hadn't assumed the best instead. One other practice that is totally non-productive is reliving old hurts instead of dealing with the present moment . Dwelling on “old stuff" ups the ante on distress. If there is something for us to learn from the past and I mean the role we played in the issue (for that is the only thing we are responsible for)...then we need to learn it…and move on. One last observation. The pain WILL go away and our hurt along with it IF we first listen to the body and fully consent to experiencing the message it is physically giving us...if we don't run away but let ourselves completely feel the distress that was backlogged long ago when the initial problem first occurred and we didn't address it. At that time we were lacking the tools to deal with the issue. (The body and spirit deserve a boatload of love and gratitude for protecting us until we could do the work.) Now, however...Look how SMART we're getting! So, let's recap what's worked for me: Have a conscious intention to deal Assume the best Learn from the past and release Honor the body's physical messages. Are you wishing for a "Whoosh" to lighten the load? Go get it. It's on your radar now just waiting for you to put the pedal to the metal. Wow! Are you getting lighter or what! --- Links: (done every Sunday/Monday morning FB-> , and Thursday evening SR-> ) Emotionskils http://www.emotionskills.com/ Emotion Management for Personal and Professional From www.emotionskills.com - We can help you become more skilled at managing your emotions and those of others, especially anger, fear and sadness. --- mcp --- Personal discipline what I am doing is not ok with me. --- 9:54 Hey Josh, a. I'll be home tomorrow, so I shall tweet away. I'm not much of a tweeter myself, but since you wrote 'em for me, it's a no-brainer. I'm excited about NexusEQ. You collected some Amazing speakers! I'd like to be a speaker for you someday (and I'd still like matt@6seconds.org). b. On that note, I figured out how we can complement each other. As I see it, you guys are mostly left-right-brainers. The research, the numbers, the stats, the big words, the explanations, the credentials are all perfect, and necessary, for your customers -- business, academia, and government. You're way smarter than me IQ-wise, but you're still able to express the concepts clearly, and with feeling... you're doing super, I think, and I'm really proud of you for all you've accomplished world-wide (...AND you managed to hang with your kiddos at the same time. That's really great that you got to take them with you to see the world... I want my daughter to see, as yours did, that there's sooo much more to the world than the USA.) I'm more of a right-right-brainer. I/we DO pure feelings, use words like 'ouch', and 'ahhh!', and 'oh my', we express 'em, experience 'em, get in and dig 'em out, change the picture, and the meaning kinda thing. Where one of your bigger tools is a dictionary, ours is tissues. We're more like therapy, but it's not... we're just teaching people about themselves and their own thoughts, feelings and emotions, and how/what to do it all. Both our skills are very, very important to the study, embrace and future of EQ. In fact, our left-brain has to be educated enough, to 'let' the right-brain release the pictures, feelings, and trauma we all carry with us, often unconsciously. Our model is missing some of the good common sense, and logical reasoning, and critical thinking that you do so well, and there's a depth, a soul, and a love that could be added to yours. IQ + EQ, c. I had a thought, some day you and I could/should write a book together on how to be a cool EQ-savvy Dad/father/leader/friend! No one has more unique, real-life experience then we do, since we've both been living AND teaching EQ for 20+ years... Ayman, too. After all, the whole "dad" thing needs a TON of work... we stink at it, as a society. Guys need a simple, easy-to-read manual on EQ... let's give 'em one, with lots of stories. d. Do you know Dan Waldschmidt who posts regularly on the LI-EIN site? Quite an amazing guy, extremely successful. We started talking by phone and he asked me for my take on how EQ can effect the world, so I've been working on a thorough reply to him. I think you'll find it interesting too, so I'll forward it to you. e. Should be only a few days before we hit 45,000! Any ideas for celebrating? It's been a real eye-opener for me... I so appreciate being able to see what the whole world is doing with EQ. Thanks for that. I'm gonna write an 'article' about LI-EIN, from my perspective. f. I'm planning to attend the April 28 get-together in SF. Will you be there? What was that one fella's name that lives in San Jose, who taught EQ in prisons, he was at both the EQ conf's I went to... you know him... we'll have to make sure he knows about it, as he wanted to start a bay-area EQ group but no one responded but me. g. You rock. And EQRocks! And much of the world KNOWS that EQRocks only because you are doing such a good job of telling them! Thank you for that. A billion is a rather large number, but I'm with you, all the way, and I DO believe we can make it happen. 2039, ey? ok. 26 years from now. I'll be 79, wow... prime time! h. That's enuf. time to take a nap, then head north. bye. - Matt --- 10:01 People probably look at this and go wth!?! It's a pet cage, made by Sara Frances?, which she will be building using fresh Eucalyptus from our company, EucProducts (yay!) We have gobs of Eucs on our property in Fort Bragg, and we've found that birds and sugar gliders LOVE fresh Eucs, so we've been providing cuttings of leaves and branches to folks, worldwide, for 7 years now. Does that help? --- 15 Abbie AndJohn Mayersky Great pic !!! Your laugh is infectious. I learned how to laugh from You, Abbie?, my big sister! I love your laugh, and when I think of you, that's the first thing I think of... THANKS for that! --- Links (back to it...) Dan W WHAT TO THINK WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/04/attitude/what-to-think-you-dont-know-what-to-think Think about it. Everything you do demands a thought — a good one at that. So thinking about how you think when it’s hard to think is a good thing to think about. You brain is looking for ways to help you be awesome. Sometimes it needs a little help from you. - http://www.emotionskills.com/fees.html Fees for "In office" or "On site" are due before or at the time of each session. Fees for "SKYPE or Telephone" are due before each session. COACHING In Office Sessions • In office sessions: $175 for a 50 minute session. If you pay for four sessions ahead of time, the discounted rate is $130 per session. Skype or Telephone Sessions • SKYPE or Telephone sessions: $88 for each 25 minutes. Payable through "PayPal" or by credit card. • Onsite sessions (conducted outside my office but within the city limits of San Francisco): $275 for a 50 minute session. If you pay for four sessions ahead of time, the discounted rate is $250 per session. - Why Positivity is So Essential in the Workplace http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130411141931-128811924-the-hero-resources-and-positivity-in-the-workplace The HERO resources: Hope. A belief in the ability to persevere toward goals and find the methods or paths to reach them. Efficacy. The confidence that one can put forth the effort to affect outcomes. Resilience. The ability to bounce back in the face of adversity or failure. Optimism. A generally positive view of work and the potential of success. - Google Searches Reveal Seasonal Trends in Mental Illnesses http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/10/google-searches-reveal-seasonal-trends-in-mental-illnesses/ - Does your mood match that task at hand? http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130410120224-117825785-does-your-mood-match-that-task-at-hand - ----------- mcp ------------ Then there's anger. Aristotle wrote, "anyone can get angry - that's easy. But to get angry in the right way, for the right reason, at the right time, and with the right person - that's not so easy." So have an unfair charge on your credit card bill? Get angry - but in the right way. Anger - which can so readily get us to do or say something we regret later - has its virtues. If we can channel the anger, it raises our energy and focuses us on changing things for the better - persisting in complaining until we get that charge removed. Some downsides of anger are obvious, like the toxicity it puts in the air for those around us. But some costs are more subtle: anger makes us pessimistic, and so more likely to give up rather than keep trying after some setback. We have a built-in negative bias toward everything we see, and so a negative spin in our judgments. And then there's the problem that our emotions are contagious - so if we're cranky at the office, we can not just ruin everyone else's day, but also their effectiveness. ----------- mcp ------------ Giving isn't Trading Giving expects nothing in return. - Dan W --- How to Use Temptation to Strengthen Your Willpower http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2013/03/how-resisting-temptation-makes.html --- 6 Non-Business Books That Will Make You Smarter http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/6-non-business-books-that-will-make-you-smarter.html?cid=em01014week15d --- Authenticity Authenticity is about accepting who you are and daring to be who you want to be. - This blog's purpose is to promote the authenticity of each one of us. The aim is to share our values, what gets us moving, what brings us energy, inspires us, motivates us, allows us to be true and performing. In our relationships, our job, our businesses, our life. http://authenticity-marc.blogspot.com.es/2013/04/how-do-you-handle-pressure-with-your.html --- 8 FEARS THAT DERAIL PERFORMANCE & DEVELOPMENT https://strivingstyles.com/news-and-events/8-fears-derail-performance-development-MBTI-Jung AN EVOLUTION OF JUNG AND MYERS-BRIGGS More than 100 years from the inception of Jung’s Psychological Type Theory and 70 years after the release of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Striving Styles Personality System is the next step in this evolutionary process. It is a complete assessment and development system that is based in the neurobiology of personality development. It incorporates the pioneering work of experts in brain functioning and development as well as emotional intelligence. - Productivity the Richard Branson way http://www.virgin.com/entrepreneur/blog/productivity-the-richard-branson-way 1. Exercise – As well as being a very keen kitesurfer Richard loves to start his days with a swim or a game of tennis on Necker Island. Healthy body, healthy mind it would seem. 2. Keeping lists – “I have always lived my life by making lists: lists of people to call, lists of ideas, lists of companies to set up, lists of people who can make things happen. Each day I work through these lists, and that sequence of calls propels me forward.” 3. Love what you do - “I don’t think of work as work and play as play. It’s all living.” 4. Don’t get the accountants in too early - “I never get the accountants in before I start up a business. It’s done on gut feeling” 5. The art of delegation - “You must understand the art of delegation. I have to be good at helping people run the individual businesses, and I have to be willing to step back. The company must be set up so it can continue without me.” 6. Set yourself big goals - “My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them.” - A Shift of Mind, Rethinking the Way We Live http://blog.melschwartz.com/2013/04/08/diagnosis-disorder/ Diagnosis Disorder I would like to propose a new disorder for the American Psychiatric Association to consider in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: that of confusing a diagnosis with being a real thing unto itself. A recent New York Times article from April 1, 2013, reported that one in every five high school boys and 11% of all children are diagnosed as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. My contention is that nobody has ADHD, because it doesn’t exist. The acronym ADHD simply describes behaviors and conditions that may correspond with a diagnosis, which we created. As with all diagnoses, when we confuse the description with being an actual entity, we trick ourselves and exacerbate the problem. - D-R The Amadori Case: Supplying McDonalds – Organizational Engagement, Emotional Intelligence and Performance http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/03/amadori-case-engagement-emotional-intelligence/ A three-year study of AMADORI, a supplier of McDonald’s in Europe, assesses links between emotional intelligence, individual performance, organizational engagement, and organizational performance. Emotional intelligence was found to predict 47% of the variation in manager’s performance management scores. Emotional intelligence was also massively correlated with increased organizational engagement with 76% of the variation in engagement predicted by manager EQ. Finally, plants with higher organizational engagement achieved higher bottom-line results building a link between EQ->Engagement->Performance. During this period, employee turnover also dropped by 63%. - How Our Bodies Interact With Our Minds in Response to Fear and Other Emotions http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130407211558.htm - The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Selfishness http://sueb.hubpages.com/hub/The-Difference-Between-Self-Esteem-and-Selfishness The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Selfishness Ads by Google Grants for Women EducationConnection.com/Fafsa You May Qualify for Grants to Earn a Degree Online. Search Schools. Help with Low Self Esteem www.counselingchoices.org Bay Area counseling referrals for Individuals, Couples, Families Why Men Lose Attraction CatchHimAndKeepHim.com 10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Ruins Any Chances Of A Relationship Selfishness vs. Self-Esteem Some people erroneously equate having a healthy self-esteem with selfishness. This can be easily confused when you consider many regard selflessness as positive and may not understand that self-esteem relates to the opinion one has of oneself. An individual with a healthy self-esteem would be realistic and appreciative of who they are. Their self-image would be accurate and honest. Selfishness on the other hand means you are only caring about yourself and working towards meeting your own needs and wants without any regard for others. Selfishness is an extreme position. It is important for our survival to meet our own needs and care about ourselves. What makes selfishness negative is this leads one to harm others or neglect others and perpetuates one-sidedness. Self-esteem allows a person to care about themselves and meet their own needs yet someone with healthy self-esteem shows more regard for others then someone who does not. Source: created by Sue B. The Purpose of Self-Esteem The purpose of self-esteem is more sophisticated than simply measuring how much energy we put into ourselves versus others the way selfishness and selflessness are. The purpose of self-esteem is to transcend the self. Self-consciousness is a painful situation that keep one's focus inward. Healing the pain with love enables one's focus to expand outward, making one freer to love others and enjoy life. The person with healthy self-esteem loves by choice from a secure base. This is in direct contrast with the codependent person who lacks self-esteem and demonstrates what appears to be love out of obligation and not choice. Related Concepts to Self-Esteem Below are some concepts defined that relate to self-esteem and help you understand the overall concept of self-esteem. Identity Identity provides a sense of oneself and one's individuality. This answers the questions: Who am I? What defines me? What describes my overall character and essence? It is not enough to identify ourselves in terms of the roles we play. A woman can be a mother, a wife, a teacher, a daughter, etc. yet her true identity is defined not by what she does or who she is in relation to others but is defined by her true or inner self. Appreciate To think well of, to value and to enjoy. To recognize gratefully, to accurately estimate the quality or worth of someone or something. When we appreciate ourselves, we are able to appreciate others for who they are. Accept To approve; to receive with pleasure; to believe in. Self-acceptance is believing in oneself and receiving oneself favorably. We may accurately acknowledge our weaknesses yet we are also determined to improve and accept ourselves for who we are. Self-Confidence A belief in oneself as a person, leading to a general sense of "I can do it." Self-confident people understand that hard work, practice, and determination will get them to achieve just about anything they want. They do not feel failure when success is not achieved instantly. They understand that they may achieve what they wish in time- even if it means putting in more time then they originally anticipated. Self-confidence is more than just competence. Someone who can do something well still may not have self-confidence. A self-confident person understands they are worthy and still keeps themselves in high regard even when they fail. Pride Self-defeating pride is the attitude that one is superior, more valuable, or ore important as a person than others. This is often the definition in a person's mind when they view pride as a negative attribute. They equate pride with arrogance, conceit, pretentiousness, vanity, narcissism. Self-defeating pride is not healthy and is not equated with healthy self-esteem. Self-defeating pride is typically a reaction to deep-rooted fears and insecurity. It is a front they use to protect themselves. They are defensive and overcompensating for a feeling of vulnerability and insecurity. Healthy pride is a realistic sense of one's own dignity or worth; self-respect; gratitude and joy in one's achievements, talents, etc. Humility Self-defeating humility is a lack of self-respect. This person feels worthless. Being humble does not mean feeling defeated or embarrassed as many would believe. Healthy humility involves the recognition of one's imperfections and weaknesses; consciousness of one's own shortcomings and ignorance. It is the realization that all are of equal worth. The truly humble person does not believe they are more worthy than another nor do they believe others are more worthy than themselves. A demonstration of humility is mild, patient behavior that is not easily reactionary or stirred to anger. Self-Esteem- Where both healthy humility and healthy pride coexist. Self-esteem, in part, is the balance of both healthy humility and healthy pride. Someone with self-esteem not only realizes they have much to learn, they recognize the dignity and worth they share worth all other people. Sources: Schiraldi, Glenn R. PhD, The Self-Esteem Workbook, New Harbinger Publications, 2001 - Harm that I do to another is harm that I do to myself. - Mel Schwartz --- String videos together for continuous play Adobe Flash Player example http://blog.melschwartz.com/2013/04/08/diagnosis-disorder/ --- Google Searches Reveal Seasonal Trends in Mental Illnesses http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/10/google-searches-reveal-seasonal-trends-in-mental-illnesses/ - Here's a great EQ distinction that can help you feel much better about yourself, and about you taking care of yourself! --- >> Alex and Robin's birthday on April 15 --- Got Feelings? What's the Message? Think about it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82czU-vpAIE --- HELP (Healing, Energy, Love, Peace) - Shauna Wright --- You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." - Johnny Cash --- Welcome To The Grind (Motivation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so0qslHYJpw&feature=player_embedded - "Find your greatness" - Nike --- 11;14 too late for Wal*Mart nap for a few and then go... --- 4.12 02:15 "The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have." - Norman Vincent Peale he reason you are on the planet has very little to do with what you spend most of your time on. - NDW --- >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> whoops, some missing here (not much but some) on my laptop --- 07:10 back here, at my office. Bella's in heat, and we're not going to mate her to Remy, until they've both had their hips X-ray'd for defects. $400 each. so, I gotta block her in with the printer, again. or stay with her, outside good T's and writing on the way home. many stops/pull-overs, but no naps (tempting, but no) 3-7, 4 hrs, slowly - >> finish/send note to DanW by 10 or by IMS Standup >> write to Jim re: change in direction, again. --- Robert Smith Employment might increase by 22%. Supply will increase by 40%. Salaries will decrease 15%. Ph.D. from APA Accredited Universities still required for state licensure. In Virginia, Medicaid is paying $54 an hour for a clinical hour, down from $90 in 1990. Clinical psychology does not pay the bills, student loans. Go to a community college, study nursing, earn more and study half as many years. Valerie Winn I've been a clinical psychologist for 18 years. I don't take medicaid patients and I make more than a nurse does. My PHD in clinical psychology more than pays my bills Walden University Hi Valerie Winn, While a degree from an APA accredited program is required in some states to sit for licensure and practice, it is not required in all states. The importance of APA accreditation really depends on what you want to do with your Ph.D. (professor, consultant, practitioner, researcher, etc.) and where you want to do it. We do encourage anyone considering a Ph.D. in Psychology to understand APA accreditation and their career goals and research their state requirements. Our enrollment advisors are available to help answer any questions regarding accreditation, licensure, and can review our Ph.D. Psychology offerings. Clicking on the link above will connect anyone interested in learning more with an advisor. For more info on accreditation, please visit: http://waldenu.edu/about/who-we-are/accreditation Hope this helps clarify things! Robert Smith For Pamela J. Martin and everyone impressed with $54 / hour: you book 7 patients a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year. 2 a day won't show up and you're not allowed to bill. so, you see folks 1,250 hours a year and bring in a total of $63,000. you then have to pay rent, heat, water, phone, sewer, electric, local, state, federal business taxes, malpractice insurance, testing supplies, office cleaning, bookkeeping help for the 500 hours of billing, you don't get paid health insurance so as a private practitioner you pay $5k to $15k, no retirement plan. By the time it's all said and done, you might be making $30k if you're a prudent businessperson. Today, reimbursement rates are so low that most private practitioners are seeking full time jobs elsewhere and doing this as "their calling". If society does not invest in mental health services, it has no right to complain about the high suicide rates, mass killings, homelessness, drug and alcohol use, crime, domestic violence, and physical-medical manifestations of psychiatric problems. --- Information changes the Situation. TGIM, ET, Eric Thomas 1. i'll Pass you gotta pass up on good, to get to great! not every opportunty is for your follow your passion, it's not for you you're all over the place, 24 hours in your life are very intentional and deliberate everything that's good to you, ain't good FOR you I'll pass on this everything i wanted to be, do and accomplish make the rest of your life the best of your life! 2. stop Planning 3. not Perfect --- Follow your bliss. Find where it is and don't be afraid to follow it. - Joseph Campbell --- 07:35 Euc Testimonial Matt, I wanted to let you know I just received my order last night. THANK YOU for everything my sugar gliders went nuts over it. Thanks, Andrew F --- LI Ads Campaign Status Budget Clicks Impressions CTR Leads Avg. CPC Total Spent Total for All Campaigns 7 9,695 0.072% 1 2.05 USD 14.35 USD ND --- 07:45 to house unload car esp frozen(?) stuff from Trader Joe's make coffee, cereal chat go 08:45 back here - Life is like Coffee video http://www.flickspire.com/m/CYTMedia/LifeIsLikeCoffee --- SW Air credit card $114, $39 1538676015 $177, $74 past 1538676635 jt 0318 --- OH NO!!! Just heard that you are leaving IMS – so sad, for us! I hope you’re off to a wonderful new job. You’ve been such a pleasure to work with! We’ll miss you… Your friend, - Matt --- 09:46 officially activated! we are now advertising on Google!! 12 dif. ads, max $30/day, re-evaluate this time next Friday. Google Build 2GetHelp Workshops - Hello Matt, Congratulations on activating your new AdWords account. As a new advertiser you might be interested in learning more about AdWords including how to best measure the results of your advertising spend, troubleshooting problems in your account and improving the performance of your AdWords campaigns. The following Google AdWords resources will allow to learn more about our advertising products and solutions: 1. Getting Started, need to know - Introduction to AdWords: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx2L6EGa9DY - AdWords Help Center: http://support.google.com/adwords/?hl=en 2. Measuring ROI and AdWords results - ROI: http://support.google.com/adwords/answer/1722066?hl=en - Conversion Tracking: http://support.google.com/adwords/answer/6308 One of our AdWords campaign specialists will soon reach out to you to schedule a free account performance analysis and optimization session. During this call they will also be able to answer any questions you may have on your AdWords account and campaigns. During this service period we will remain linked to your account as this will enable our team to help troubleshoot any major account issues. Please note that you are responsible for all campaigns in your account CID 3423872875 and controlling your AdWords spend. Once again, welcome to Google AdWords! We wish you every success with your new online campaigns. Best, Amanda Buehler ----------------------- Amanda Buehler| Google AdWords Representative | 800-826-9988 x.23610| Amanda.Bu@google.com --- Deb from Target verify card Approved! coming in mail 5% off ALL payments on that card! --- 10:06 Hi. Can you get in?? I cannot, using dif. browsers... and it's not that WordFence is locking me out (this is the first time I've actually received the unlock request... it's saying "No Data from the server"... bizarre. You in? thx - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Unlock email requested From: WordPress Date: Fri, April 12, 2013 9:57 am To: matt@2GetHelp.com Either you or someone else at IP address 198.45.219.241 requesed instructions to regain access to the website New Directions Workshop. --- 10:09 Shauna Wright Hey matt can I get the ND site info for new students I have a g/f who wants to know more. She will be meeting a couple of NDers at the car races and Im going to have them help me explain it more to my g/f. Linda Lou will be a wonderful person to help me with that. She is such a beautiful bloom of life. I will update you on the week if we have a new student for this next class. Hey, Hi sweetie! I was gonna get hold of you, actually. Since you've been such a loyal 'fan'/NDer, Paula and I would like to offer you 2 coupons for half-price, that you can use for your g/f, or whomever you wish. So, not $399, but $199, from you. How'z that sound? And heck yes, I was just telling Linda Lou yesterday how much I appreciate her wonderful attitude, encouragement, and love for all! She's awesome. ... and she's agreed to help with the 'courseroom' duties, and Assistants, since Karen is sooo busy with counseling on weekends now. That is awesome on the discount. I am having a procedure on my legs on May 13 and not sure how good I will be feeling that next weekend as they have me off of work for 2 weeks. I did think about going thru as a student again but not sure the timing is right with the pain I will be in. When I found out my g/f was interested in knowing more about our group I know she will be comfortable with Linda even if I couldn't make it. Beside I told her when I went thru it sometimes it is better not to have your best friend in your circle so you can get better insight from other people in the group as your friend already knows you and most of what issues you are dealing with. Beside I still feel like an infant and told her we have a ton of wise women to help her thru her growth. I think I am more of a seed planter Can I get the link to give to her? a. Hope your procedure goes well! Heal fast. b. Thanks for referring your friend... yes, you're a good 'seed planter' (I like that!) c. I haven't gotten the link up yet. I was locked out of the site, and just sent a note to the webmaster, so I'll get it up asap, and let you know... k? --- 10:13 to PKP 1. Paid 2 Chase cards SW Air credit card $114, $39 past Conf #1538676015 $177, $74 past Conf #1538676635 jt 0318 2. We were just approved for a Target card Coming in mail 5% off ALL payments on that card, from now on 3. We are now running ads for ND on Google and LinkedIn, with controlled spending limits. I'll let you know if (when) we get any hits! 4. Class is $399, except that grads can invite up to 2 family/friends for $199. - me --- ND Testimonial ND was the single most changing agent I have ever experienced - Val G. --- Our ad should show on the right, when searching for any of the following terms: anger management workshop anger management workshops anger management workshops for adults develop emotional intelligence developing emotional intelligence emotional intelligence workshop emotional intelligence workshops how to develop emotional intelligence self help seminar self help seminars self help workshop self help workshops --- THIS STUFF IS TOTALLY STUPID AND I’M LEAVING THIS GROUP. IF WE ARE GOING TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD WE CAN’T BE BOGGED DOWN AND DISTRACTED BY THINKING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS. Late coming in on this. Great question, great comments. I read quickly and got to the just kidding as I was absorbing the first part of your comment. So I let go a sigh of relief and read on with interest. My remaining life's mission is to translate EQ or EI into something the general public can understand and use. I am now starting to publish a series of eBooks toward that end. A calming breath or in this case a sigh of relief is one way I practice what I teach. Stopping to think when a negative feeling visits is the big game plan as seen in a number of comments. Thank you for this little exercise as it made me and some others stop and think more deeply. Stay strong, I have to work very hard to do the same. By Katherine Gordy Levine - David A. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi everybody. I am new to the group and look forward to fruitful engagement and learning. My name is David Albert and I am a senior staff chaplain for Baptist Health South Florida a faith based, not for profit hospital system in South Florida, USA. I am also an instructor at Baptist Health University. I was born and raised in East London, South Africa. I have studied in South Africa, Israel and the USA, where I received a Doctorate of Ministry four years ago. I am also a board certified chaplain with the APC (Association of Professional Chaplains). I work very closely with physicians and other health care professionals who sometimes tend to "treat the disease and ignore the person". I am hoping to develop a curriculum and workshop in order to promote better patient care through highlighting the critical role and importance of emotional intelligence. --- 11:14 Elizabeth Swenson, MCTV yes and no- the quality would be reduced because a DVD is at it's best at one hour max and we would be talking 1.5 hours and it would mean at least one hour of our time to set up so that the files were all in rendered together. --- 82% Google over 50% mobile optimize for phones! guaranteed first page placement suspend billing, work local directory website creation 6-page site new landing page Brand alerts all major search engines and social media sites $149 to start $149/mo for 6 mo. then $79/mo. thereafter $600 for 90 days 10 keywords, 20-25x --- DanW letter --- 1:59 Boom, I'm in!! Thanks so much... you're a saviour! - Matt p.s. - is this something I need to know how to do? -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [FWD: Unlock email requested] From: sliloh Date: Fri, April 12, 2013 1:44 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Try now, not sure what the trouble was, I remade the htaccess files --- 2-2:20 lunch chicken pot pie Luna energy bar (so-so) --- didn't get it done, again. gotta switch to IMS, to get Jim's report done before Josh gets here nice visit he cut and bundled, while I worked on Jim's report super slow, run overnight! ... --- pkp Trader Joe's dinner pizza, chicken dumplings, sourdough, polenta yum, creative, and cheap! --- 4.13 09:53 Shauna Wright ok sounds good....in the meantime Linda lou, Richard and Nate are going to the races. Between those 3 I am sure she will get some good insight on the group. One of the appeals is there is a family of people who exist within the group and if you reach out you are never alone. She is almost 60 retired, never married, no kids and not much family left. But she is an awesome women who feels a need to connect and be a part of an awesome group like ours. You will like her she is a wonder person inside and out. I just thought with the discount maybe of another g/f who is always in financial problems and having a hard time raising two kids on her own. She rarely feels anyone is in her corner maybe this would help impower her. I might have to help her out with the cost so the discount would be good to use on her too. I am sure I won't be able to be a student this time around with my procedure. Both women know each thru lightly thru me so I think separate circles would be best for them to get the max out of the class. --- >> write to NDers re: discount --- 10:20 Dudes and dudettes, please try this (I have been), Michele? did it beautifully the other day on the phone, and I think Ricci? had some luck with it, too. CHANGE the YUCKY PICTURES in your head! Re-imagine them. It only takes a sec! Take your worst pics, or any pics, in your head. frightening boss/mom/spouse, angry dad, a bad memory, a horrible memory... hit and get it started, so you know what's coming... and WHAM, Change it! Re-imagine it. Modify it... however you wish! Make it explode into harmless, white snowflakes, Michele turned this guy into a butterfly, it's basic NLP. I'm scared of hitting a deer while driving on the back roads at night... so I had this nasty pic of one coming dashing outta the forest and right into my path (and it gets worse, but I'll spare you)... anyway, I kept seeing it play... but now when this deer comes dashing outta the woods, Poof, it blasts apart into these beautiful rays of colored lights, some of which hit me and my car, and it helps us, and protects us, and I feel uplifted, and free! I can still see the yucky picture, but it's Behind, or beneath the good one, and I'd have to struggle to dig it out, when the new pic is RIGHT THERE, up front, bigger and brighter. super-cool, super-easy. We 'imagined' the pic IN OUR HEAD in the first place, I think we can 're-imagine' them back OUT! (NOTE: I believe this requires access to our right-brain, which you/we all have, from doing the emotional work and experiencing the power of ND/EQ.) Let us know how it goes/doesn't work. --- Ian R. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi all, I have just joined this group looking to learn more about emotional intelligence and how it can help me be the best leader I can. I am a qualified accountant working in London and looking to move into a leadership role within my field and want to become a good leader by building on the knowledge gained during my training in ethics and stakeholders and how they affect accountants. My first exposure to emotional intelligence was a you tube video by Dan Goleman and it has opened my eyes to this exciting area and I want to learn more. - >> lead with a Daniel Goleman video? DGs book took the world by storm back in the late 90s, now listed 5th on Time's 25 Most Influential Books. --- Ian R. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi all, I have just joined this group looking to learn more about emotional intelligence and how it can help me be the best leader I can. I am a qualified accountant working in London and looking to move into a leadership role within my field and want to become a good leader by building on the knowledge gained during my training in ethics and stakeholders and how they affect accountants. My first exposure to emotional intelligence was a you tube video by Dan Goleman and it has opened my eyes to this exciting area and I want to learn more. --- 11:36 In emotional healing EQ, our best method of fighting depression is dealing with our Anger! Freud said that "depression is anger turned inward." and we've found that to be very true. If we deal with and release our anger, our depression goes with it! Another way I like to put it is "depression is anger without enthusiasm(!)", so get enthusiastic about dealing with your anger, I think you'll find yourself much less depressed! Depression = Anger + Powerlessness Depression = Anger + Hopelessness Depression = Anger - Enthusiasm Powerlessness, hopelessness, and lack of enthusiasm are all thoughts/belief systems/meanings/choices we make (and can Un-Make!). Of course, there are biochemical reasons for severe depression, but we've even seen people that were hospitalized, suicidal and despondent BLAST thru their depression to feel better, much better, sometimes permanently! As Doc says, "We can't just cut off one (1) feeling, they all go at once." If our anger is not ok with us (left-brain), our body will try to hold it all in, for years and years, and it eventually shuts down, closes up and cuts off all feeling (right-brain), leaving depression. Read more... "Depression: Illness or Symptom" by Myron Doc Downing, Ph.D., LMFT http://2gethelp.org/docs/doc/EQ-DocDowning-depression-as-symptom.pdf --- Adwords overnight, day 1 19 impressions, avg. position 2.6 clicks -------- 0. LI 10 13,281 $20.45 --- Is any way to cure depression natural way? There are Different Reasons for Depression, Few are psychological, few are physiological and there can be reasons which are biological, Psychological Reasons -Dissatisfaction (The world is not good enough, No One can live a happy life) -Discontentment (I am not Happy No matter What) -Disappointment ( There are No Job opportunities, There is no way out ) -Discouragement (I can't Do this, I am not Good Enough, I always Fail) -Procrastination -Poor Time management -Watching TV -Blaming,Complaining Psychological Reasons: -Lack of Exercise -Poor Sleep Biological Reasons: -Food Addiction -Drug Addiction -Internet Addiction And combination of all these leads to stress and depression, The natural treatment is simple, just to adopt good habits and healthy life style. Best Regards SamiUllah --- talked to Carol Blay for a half-hour or so. re: Victim or not! --- Megan LeAnne McIntyre My little angel. Born April 13 at 1:33am. 9.5 pounds and 21 inches. After 18 hours of labor he's finally here. Liam Michael Bruce McIntyre. Born at 1:33am. 9.5 pounds, 21 inches, and the love of my life! ? — at Clovis Community Hospital. --- 1:32 DanW letter --- didn't get Dan letter done yet/again disappointed. but it's coming along nicely not sure how much Personal stuff to put in there. some good BOLD statements there, tho (wtg, dude!) --- 1:46 off to MFF for label training --- 5pm NEW MOTORCYCLE TRACK!! cut down some trees, knocked down some little ones (1onbud) Josh, Dustin, Bobby all stoners, but nice country boys (19-20), won't steal from us. respectful and quiet, and resourceful how cool to have, make your own track! "All Organic" - Josh Linebaugh --- Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. Hi Ian, I wish you all the best in your journey to become a good leader in your field of work and may you gain good leadership skills and always remember Teamwork n is very important where you go. This makes a very successful team within the work environment. Once again All the very best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By Emily Bidois --- Bella's in heat, so we're watching her close, keeping the back gate closed, and keeping her in, mostly. but (except for occasional bouts of chewing on our stuff), she's an amazingly good girl! no drippage, swollen, but the boys aren't messing with her much. Marley did, and Buddy from next door is a howlin' at the back gate, but Spot and Bud seem unaffected this time. not last time! Poor spot would be humpin' the air, like crazy, and look at me, goin', "I have NO idea why I'm doing this!!" I'm liking being disgusting lately. I'm dirty, and fat, and disheveled, and unkempt, and smelly, and have Dunlap's disease, stiff, outta shape, weak, unfulfilled sexually, etc. wonder what that's all about. oh, worst haircut in town. I do try to shave everyday, but I didn't today, and went to a meeting with 3 people in a little tiny room, for over an hour. J, great guy... I'd hire him. J the VA. Projects - ND Brochure - NDW - EQRocks - 2GetHelp.org - 2GetHelp.com - nders - Brochure postcard mailing buy a list emails to pros in Fresno --- Val, Did I tell you I talked to Skip Swies, ex-UYO instructor (#4, actually)! Amazing person... still teaching (but mostly carpentering)... workshops for Men, processing, but in the context of old wise Indian rituals, drumming, dancing, etc. He says they're getting great results. He's one of the first I will reach out to, to teach with us, when we start to grow. ... our biggest limitation is going to be trained trainers. So, I have a few things that are rattling around in my head. Can we put aside a half hour or hour, soon, to talk , by phone? How about tomorrow morning, or night, or Monday morn? I mostly want to bounce ideas off you... not to Tell me, but for me to say 'em outloud, discuss 'em, and make an informed decision. Choices --- -------- mcp --------- a really good question to ask yourself, often? so are my Choices? people who get into EQ are often Surprised at how many Choices they find they have, emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. Choices = Freedom More Choices = More Freedom too many Choices can be confusing, but it's still a good problem to have. We all have problems... but there are good problems and bad problems. - Steven Hawkins Having too many choices is a good problem. Having too bigga market is a good problem. Having customers demanding your very best is a good problem. Having friends that love us, support us, AND pull our covers sometimes, is a good problem. Knowing that we had a painful childhood, and working on it, is a good problem. Even knowing we're a mess is a good problem. Being outta work, having no skills AND no drive is a bad problem. Acting like we're a victim when we're not is a bad problem. Cancer is a bad problem. Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and Diabetes are bad problems. --- WEBIMAGESVIDEOSMAPSNEWSMORE 2,870 RESULTSAny time Matt Perelstein - want your friends to find you on Bing? 1108 friends I'm a tiny bit famous MattPerelstein 8,700 RESULTS http://www.bing.com/search?q=mattperelstein --- Well, bad news, guys... Apparently your address in PayPal reads: Derk Milne 6340 Thomas Drive Rome, NY 13440 USPS: Return to Sender, Unable to Forward. Postage: 11.25. Is it worth another $11.25 to you? Would you be able to send it via PayPal to matt@2gethelp.com? if so, I'll send you a 2' branch, as well! sorry, thanks. - Matt --- 4.14 05:12 "The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it." - Debbi Fields --- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) = relearning habitual thought processes --- SPARK is produced by Six Seconds, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. We’re here to make the world better, and we’ll do our very best to ensure our behavior makes that happen. --- AdWords 21 impressions, in 2 days, lovely. LI 14,001 imp, still 10 clicks ouch , try a new ad Get Smart with your Heart! Add Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to your IQ --Workshop May 17-19 Fresno, CA Go To URL: http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com under review >> Create a LinkedIn page for NDW --- 05:45 - 07:19 Looks cool, Josh -- a personal 360! Neat idea, at a very reasonable price. Some thots: You might want to say more about who they/we should include: friends, some family (if you really want to be bold and learn more), some not-so-close friends or ex-employee My first question was, 'so what are the 3 questions?'. This is pretty risky for the sender, so I wanna know what's gonna be asked. NOTE: Remember when you receive this feedback, it doesn't really "mean" anything about you, it is only other people's opinions. Your participants will be sharing a picture of you, but thru their own personal filters, so please don't allow comments to taint your view of yourself. What you think of you comes first! typo: Congratulations what's the purpose of collecting last names? I like this wording & concept!: SPARK is produced by Six Seconds, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. We’re here to make the world better, and we’ll do our very best to ensure our behavior makes that happen - Matt p.s. you'll notice, Josh, that I'm being more bold, and honest, in my communications with you lately... that's on purpose. I have written you many emails which I've never sent, because I didn't say enuf, or I didn't say it right, or something... some I've worked on/sat on/brewed on for weeks/months... but eventually, the moment had passed, or I wasn't there anymore, and I filed them away. Anyway, I wanted you to know that: a) I'm thru being a victim (and a wimp), and b) EQ is way more important than my personal issues, c) you have inspired me for years, without knowing it... a good portion of why I stay in the groups is to hang around with you (and be able to send you personal emails, which are replied to). d) we/I/emotional healing has something incredible to offer the world... the 'emotional processing' of negative feelings is a life-changing/diagnosis-changing/attitude-changing/results-changing concept, and No one seems to be doing it, or even talking much about it, then us. You've become one of the leading 'voices' for EQ and you need to know that everyone "talks" about feelings, intellectually, but no one actually "does" their feelings, or feels them, physically/profoundly/honestly, esp. to the intensity that we do. Dude, from this, our testimonials are phenomenol... I didn't write 'em, I've just been collecting them, for 20+ years now. All we/I do is create a super-safe place for people to matter, space to care about/experience/learn from/release their own negative feelings, to LET their bodies cry, or yell, or fall into their deepest depression (which our bodies WANT to do, really badly), to do it on purpose, just for a minute... so we truly KNOW our own worst enemies, our fears, our angers, and our sadness. If we experience our worstest, most life-altering fears, look them right in the face, and CONQUER them... NOT let 'em beat us anymore, Not let them alter our plans anymore, NOT willing to be a victim anymore! Extremely healing... almost magical. I tell people, "Good news... that is the worst it will EVER get!" Once we 'go there' and come back, on purpose, we know, beyond a doubt, from here on, that we can handle anything that life hands us. When we get to the depths of it all (seriously, it can take only 5-15-30 minutes, with full group attention/involvement, hugs/celebration/LIFT the person up after, and boom. that's it... changed/enhanced/lights-turned-on/brighter/freer/less stress/more joy/more love/more fun/kinder/gentler/way-increased-empathy/powerful-compassion. Like I said below, there's a DEPTH to EQ, travelling to the core of our thoughts and feelings (ever been there?), to explore how we got to be who we are today, that ain't happenin', yet. Empathy starts with self-empathy. Love starts with self-love. The process starts when we find empathy and love for our own inner child/teen/adult. Once people go to that depth, and see and feel, and experience true emotional safety, where the entire world really IS about them, even for a few minutes... damn, that feels good... to our soul! It helps people feel loved, and lovable, and equal, and as-good-as, and they fit-in, and belong, and matter... even for a few minutes... but often for the first time in their/our entire life! People often scoff at the concept of a Group Hug... every tried one? The highest paid athletes in the world, the most macho guys on the planet, do Group Hugs, a lot (before every game, most huddles/timeout, and often after the game). True belonging is an innate human need. Sometimes, the intellectual side doesn't matter. Sometimes, it's not about analysis or research or numbers, and it doesn't matter where it's stored in the brain, but it surely matters that it's stored in the heart! So, the good news is, thru my writings to you, I have learned a ton about me, where I stand, what I know (but need to find out), and brings up insecurities and strengths. I'm using you, in a way, to develop me. I have some other people I do that same thing to/with/around... I write them an email... so I have them clearly pictured in my mind/heart while I'm click-clackin' away on whatever subject I think they need to know about. Sometimes I even send 'em (more nowadays). I'm having the same trouble with my letter to Dan W... you'll see what I mean when I read it. so Thanks for being you, and doing what you do... and esp, thanks for kickin-butt with EQ! --- ------------ mcp ----------- Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto You have to live with yourself, so it's important that you are fit for yourself to know. --- LI-EIN 44,971x --- What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? "Action speak louder than words". A quote which mis-inspired me "Love is blind". A quote which scared me "Everything is fair in love and war". And a quote which does not fit me (in a lighter vein) " a bird is a bird, whether in hand or in the bush ( I am vegan)" and A quote which helped me with self-control is this one "No one can insult you ( or make your angry, etc. ) without your permission". By Ambuj Jain --- Matt Perelstein When feelings go up, logic goes down... and vice versa... like a see-saw. Balancing both is the key! IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- 07:44 Jon Perelstein Hi. Sorry Jon, but I was getting too many notifications from your account. I asked them to stop on FB, but they didn't, so I unfriended you. Let's re-connect, ok? No offense. It's been great seeing you lately, and feeling more like family (esp since our fam is super-small). Hope you're well. - Matt Born at an early age. --- 07:55 Posted to LI-EIN Quotes from Lee Iacocca transcribed from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh9LCusQf78 The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything. The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen. Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you've got. So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. Every business and every product had risks. You can't get around it. The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, and then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen. No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished? I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I learned to keep going, even in bad times. I learned not to despair, even when my world was falling apart. I learned that there are no free lunches. And I learned the value of hard work. --- PP = 3361 -107 GoDaddy, 2GeHelp.com windows server, 1 year +0 orders yesterday, 2 today --- >> Have Tom take over his newspaper account finished, and printed, first draft of Dan W letter. Paula even read it, with a few comments. (ignore the positive, accentuate the negative) thru 1 more time and then off it goes... (its not bad, actually. --- PR & Josh her Hunter's going to Cal State Long Beach - Engineering --- If you have ANY interest in EQ, sign up for this event, please (it's all free). You will get valuable information and be part of the largest, and most comprehensive EQ group on the planet. ... and, do you have people in your life you'd like to introduce EQ to? Invite them to choose a subject of interest from this event. Sign up and pass it on... --- a Change Agent --- Hey guys, watch this! Some serious therapy going on, with Bob Newhart! Laughter is just as healing as crying! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=346053892074336&set=o.5696270841&type=2&theater --- 90-sec. video http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/10/three-essential-facts-about-feelings/ --- Hunter Tom O' Hey slim-slam! Did you want to chat some time this week? I've got something going both Monday and Tuesday nights, how 'bout Wednesday? Wed would be great sounds good. c-ya --- -- ND leads -- Cynthia Morris --- 12:11pm Shauna Wright Had an awesome time with Nate and Richard, they have become racing junkie now and plan to go next week for some more male bonding time. Linda Lou and Donna (my g/f) hit it off and they are both from Porterville and about the same age. I see a blossoming of a good friendship between those two. I am glad I share friends well with others !!!!!! Always enough to go around. So Linda is going to talk with Donna this week about the group more in detail. 2:51pm Matt Perelstein So glad to hear it! Well done, Shauna, very positive relationships. 3:01pm Shauna Wright yep everyone in the ND group is so nice and fun They are going to have more 5.00 races so next time I might post it in ND as a fun event as long as it is not on your ND weekend. 3:18pm Matt Perelstein Excellent! I wish people would connect more down there... in fact, I wish I were down there to hang with you guys! I have way more friends in Fresno than anywhere else... NDers tend to be pretty cool people, don't they/we?!? --- Doc's latest 'blog' article saved as EQ-DocDowning-trust-versus-acceptance.pdf Trust vs. Acceptance “I cannot trust you.” Trust is your belief (sometimes irrational) that a person or thing will perform or act as advertised or as promised. Is it possible to have a good relationship without trust? My observation is that people and things are going to do what they are going to do, not what I think or believe that they should do. Putting your trust in someone or something means putting your power outside of yourself. When you trust someone, you no longer have control. They may or may not live up to your expectations. Who says that anything or anybody should live up to your expectations? A few years ago, I had a couple come in for counseling. At that time, I offered to record their sessions for them so they could listen at a later time, if they would bring in a cassette tape. Both felt that this was a wonderful idea. She said that she would be sure to bring a cassette tape to the next session. At the next session, she said that she had forgotten the tape but that she would be sure to bring it the next session. On the third session, she again forgot to bring the tape and reassured him, once again, that she would bring in a tape to record the session. By the seventh session, she had again forgotten to bring the tape. He was really upset and angry at her, “You keep telling me you are going to bring in the tape but you never do! What is the matter with you?” My response to him was, “And, who is the fool that believes her?” Now, let us look at the other side. Can you always be trusted to do what you say you are going to do? Have there been times in your life where you have not lived up to your own expectations? If you cannot be trusted, how can you expect others to be trustworthy? The real problem with trust begins with the judgments that you attach to your missed expectations. So, what does it mean when something or somebody does not live up to your expectations? What does it mean if you do not even live up to your own expectations? Are you aware of your judgments when people do not live up to your expectations? - I am a failure. - She does not love me. - I must be garbage. - I should never trust anybody again. - I need to protect myself from the emotional pain of having my hopes dashed. - Most people are liars. The judgments that I put onto people when they do not live up to my expectations will determine how I feel about them and, how I feel about them will determine my behavior towards them. - I must not allow myself to ever get close to people. They will only disappoint me. - I need to get a divorce. - I need to punish myself for having trusted them in the first place. - I need to warn other people about how bad a person I am. - I should kill myself (“They will be sorry when I’m gone”). - I should not trust anybody; I need to do everything myself. Since, the judgments that you hold were created by you, you could change your judgments on the missed expectations that you experience. If you choose to change your judgments about missed expectations then, you would exhibit a whole different set of behaviors. - Now, you could check out to see if there was a misunderstanding about your expectations. - Now, you could trust yourself that you do not have to protect yourself from emotional pain. - Now, you might choose to accept that the other person is just human and that everybody screws up at some point. - Now, you could accept yourself as just being human. To err is human; to accept is divine. Acceptance is a difficult concept. To accept yourself does not mean that you approve of your behavior. It just means that you accept, without blaming, putdowns or name-calling, that you did the behavior and that you intend to learn from your mistakes. To accept others is much the same. Yes, they did what they did, and without judgment, blaming, putdowns, name-calling, you simply say, “Isn’t it interesting that they seem to be having a difficult time right now.” To be able to accept others means that you must trust yourself to be OK when others do not live up to your expectations. If you can accept yourself and others, then the need to trust becomes a moot question. LESSONS TO LEARN: 1. Trust is really about trusting yourself to be able to handle any missed expectations. 2. You do not have to trust if you can accept. 3. Acceptance is not about finding a person to trust, it is accepting the person you have found. 4. To accept somebody does not mean you approve of their behavior or that you have to live with them. 5. When people do not live up to your expectations, it says nothing about you. 6. If you find yourself nagging, this is a sign that you do not trust that person. ------------- mcp ----------- [One of the problems with nagging is that people become dependent on the nagger and stop trusting themselves.] Myron Doc Downing PhD, LMFT DocDowning@att.net www.ACT-Fresno.com --- 4:13 PP = 3380 with Josh Lobue --- orders with Josh Lobue, took a looong time 4 hours, 2 MORE trips out roots, 20 2'ers to Sara __ >> finish Dan W and send it off... 1 more time thru. I got distracted when Josh came over to do orders had to make the labels with him here, just chatted easily the whole time, he and I. very pleasant, good eye-contact, quick to smile, genuinely nice person. and he cut like 4 chords of wood this morning, with Cody Lowe(!). then the orders took us waaay longer than we thot, for some reason, as we both worked non-stop ~4 hours. then dinner hamburger gravy made burger for morning paula had a meltdown 'cause I told her I replied to syndey for her party. whatever. it's not anything to do with her... it's me... always me. and she can find something wrong with Anything I do. I told her I love her, and she got mad. I called to tell her I got 2 enrollments, and she got very upset. I repeat, whatever. I have this wierd fantasy that I am pretty easy to live with. I make good money, I constantly work. I give and give and earn and earn, and try to help. there have been somethings that went wrong, some were outta line of me. common peanut butter cookie dough yikes. heart's pounding. I can't possibly do everything I need/want to get done. I'm gonna have a heckuva time delegating, but J, I was impressed with your computer skills, fast learning curve and overall clarity and care, while we were printing the tickets. how'd they turn out? do you work full time for MFF? are you looking for any side work? how much per hour? you live in Mendo, right? (irrelevant, just asking) As I mentioned, I'm into Emotional Intelligence (EQ)... in a big way. in fact, I'm proposing the largest project ever done my man. The Quest for EQ, World-wide! We believe that EQ can change the world from the inside out, so we're trying to band folks together from around the world to spread EQ to the masses. I have a full-time job in SF (gone Monday 8am to Friday about the same) but I'm pretty free on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. if you're up for it, let's meet next weekend and talk about some possibilities. I can imagine someone with our skills, working together to make some serious sh*t happen! I just finished a 10-pager about EQ at the request of this guy. so I'm hoping I don't sound too outlandish, as I believe EQ can be successfully spread. Start a movement push it create it offer it allow it unwrap it unveil it unREEL it. --- 8:50 Shauna It is funny I was saying to Linda I wish you and Paula could be around more because we love to stay connected and there is so much to learn. It would be fun to hang out more often. She goes to the saturday classes and really likes them and I think she is still a part of a small group within ND. So she is pretty plugged in. I need to work on that. Also Linda might help me (side work) to do some cleaning and decorating of our new homes at work...so that is a win-win for both her and I. It is sad you guys lives so far away but your home is a beautiful place to be I am sure. I wrote it down on my calendar and will try hard to be on the next call in less than 2 weeks. 8:49pm right on... we'd love to have you on the call, and at our home someday (road trip!). --- Cynthia Morris So great to hear from you!! I was going to message you soon, so funny you beat me to it! As much as I want to go back through, I will wait, because my boyfriend would like to go through. He has become good friends with Miles since Miles is my best friend. I will be there to assist for sure, and I'm pretty positive Miles would love to be there too. Can't wait to see everyone! I'll see about talking to Richard and smoothing things out so there is no awkwardness My boyfriend's name is Brian. I'm super excited for him to go through!! WOOHOO!!! That's awesome, Cynthia! Congrats for you... you sound like things are going well! sure, whoever, come on down! So cool that you can work things out with Richard. Sorry I wasn't much help in that area, but so glad you're 'having the tuff conversations' (as Dr. Phil put it). Yay. let me know what you/he needs, k? paperwork is here: http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup --- 40 Belden Place San Francisco, CA 94104 (415) 986-6491 --- To be nobody but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. - e.e. cummings (1894 - 1962) As long as we are in touch with our higher selves our egos are not a threat, rather a tool in service of the spirit. --- 4.15 00:00 HB to Robin and Alex Fields --- pause........ --- 03:52 it does no good to think in any way negatively about yourself. Not even a little good. - NDW --- >> keep checking Google AdWords info@2gethelp.com and LI ads (new one just approved) --- 04:17 Gmail: MFF Board, Ann, Marcie, Melissa, Mark HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Arlene and Alex! It's tax day, and it's HAPPY BIRTHDAY time for Arlene and Alex! You guys are both an integral part of MFF's success... thanks for all you do. Have a wonderful birthday, and many more! - Matt --- 04:36 2 order labels update ~GoLabels copied to HP big drive (K:), which is pretty much full! 1T, and it's full -- wow(!) --- I always say to myself, what is the most important thing we can think about at this extraordinary moment. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld --- $29.99 USD Merchant 24HOUR FITNESS USA,INC,800-432-6348,CA, whoops no what... I'm a full member again. >> whatchagonna do, fat boy?!? --- Beginning today, I will create a new future by creating a new me. No longer will I dwell in a pit of despair, moaning over squandered time and lost opportunity. I can do nothing about the past. My future is immediate. I will grasp it in both hands and carry it with running feet. When I am faced with the choice of doing nothing or doing something, I will always choose to act! I seize this moment. I choose now. I am a person of action. I am energetic. I move quickly. Knowing that laziness is a sin, I will create a habit of lively behavior. I will walk with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. The lifeblood rushing through my veins is urging me upward and forward into activity and accomplishment. Wealth and prosperity hide from the sluggard, but rich rewards come to the person who moves quickly. I am a person of action. I inspire others with my activity. I am a leader. Leading is doing. To lead, I must move forward. Many people move out of the way for a person on the run; others are caught up in his wake. My activity will create a wave of success for the people who follow. My activity will be consistent. This will instill confidence in my leadership. As a leader, I have the ability to encourage and inspire others to greatness. It is true: an army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep! I am a person of action. I can make a decision. I can make it now. A person who moves neither left nor right is destined for mediocrity. When faced with a decision, many people say they are waiting for God. But I understand, in most cases, God is waiting for me! He has given me a healthy mind to gather and sort information and the courage to come to a conclusion. I am not a quivering dog, indecisive and fearful. My constitution is strong and my pathway clear. Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly. My decisions come quickly, and they lead to victory. I am a person of action. I am daring. I am courageous. Fear no longer has a place in my life. For too long, fear has outweighed my desire to make things better for my family. Never again! I have exposed fear as a vapor, an impostor that never had any power over me in the first place! I do not fear opinion, gossip, or the idle chatter of monkeys, for all are the same to me. I do not fear failure, for in my life, failure is a myth. Failure exists only for the person who quits. I do not quit. I am courageous. I am a leader. I seize this moment. I choose now. I am a person of action. - Andy Andrews --- 04:51 DanW letter --- List of Company Slogans http://www.crews.org/curriculum/ex/compsci/8thgrade/company_slogans.htm Agilent: "Dreams Made Real" ATI Technologies: "Get In the Game" Cadence: "How Big Can You Dream? Dell Computer: "Get More out of Now" IFI: "The Power of Choice" J.C. Penney: "It's all Inside" McDonald's: "I'm Lovin' It" Sony: "Make. Believe" Yahoo!: "It’s you!" How to write a company tagline http://www.abccopywriting.com/blog/2010/04/12/company-taglines There's a B2B tag line and a B2C tag line --- 06:31 EQ by Matt Perelstein Here's a quick TOC. - Intro - Examples - EQ Training & EQ Healing - Pasta-bilities - MCP, MCP - Now What?!? ----------- INTRO ----------- EQ is like Magic! I believe we can change the world, from the inside out. I believe we can create world peace... maybe in our lifetime. I believe that, with EQ, we can create a fundamental shift in human consciousness toward emotional and personal responsibility that will change Everything. ... and to do this, we don't have to buy anything, make anything or build anything... nothing. it can all be done thru teaching/showing/explaining/enlightening/sharing, of EQ! We are a pro-left-brain, anti-right-brain society... and that's not working! The key lies in some basic emotional concepts that most people do not know. It's not their fault that they don't know... nobody knew this stuff 'til now... we're just learning and growing and our industry is just in it's infancy. What we do know is that it's astonishingly simple, and more astonishingly effective. Ready? No one has ever made you angry. No one has ever hurt your feelings. ever. No one has ever made you sad. ... not without your permission. NO MATTER WHAT is happening outside of us... ... getting slapped in the face our parents abandoning us getting fired from a job (even being in prison for 30+ years, per Nelson Mandela) We can CHOOSE whether we get angry, or not. We can CHOOSE whether we get hurt, or not. We can CHOOSE whether we get sad, or not. We can be joyously Happy, or friggin' Miserable, it's totally up to us. And we get to CHOOSE happy or sad, positive or negative, loving or hateful, victim or powerful every minute of every hour of every day, for the rest of our lives. Once people hear this, once they Realize that it's true... that no one MAKES us angry... we really CAN control/effect/manage/succeed with our own self, our own feelings, are emotions, are thoughts, and especially our beheviours (everything we do, say or have), Then, and only then, do we truly have control over our lives! So, why aren't we all wildly happy all the time? 2 soldiers are in combat, sitting right next to each other, and WHAM, a bomb goes off in front of them, and people are hurt and screaming. One has life-long debilitating PTSD, the other goes on to manage his life and his business and does an anti-war non-profit on the side... what's the dif? Dr. Martin Seligman from UofPenn, just finished training ALL 41,000 of our US Army drill seargeants on "Resilience" (an awesome EQ skill!). The idea was to train-the-trainers, and have them take it back to teach it to the 1.1M soldiers under their command. The main dif. between the 2 guys above is often just one thing... an internal, core belief that they're either a Victim or their Powerful, Responsible or outta Control. Yes or no. Take your pick... are you a victim or not? This decision is critical because if I am a victim, I might be horrified at what I saw, have nightmares, an intense startle reflex, hypervigilance, paranoia and night sweats. I'd be unable to sleep, unable to work, jumpy and therefore semi-dangerous to be around. I might have to quit the Army, go on disability (with extra PTSD pay at $1,200/mo), and be dependant on meds, and the VA, the rest of my life (and complain loudly the entire time about it all). But, if I REFUSE to be a victim, I would find answers, not excuses. I'd deal with all my feelings and meanings AROUND the horrible events I witnessed, I'd turn my horror and pain into justifiable, motivational Anger, and use it to motivate myself and others. I'd seek the latest advances in treatment for PTSD, reduce and replace those pictures in my head, so ensure that I turn out Stronger, braver, more loving, and yes, even more positive, in spite of, and because of, the horrors I had experienced. I'd make sure I made my life look, and more importantly Feel, as cool as I possibly could, grateful every day that me and mine were safe and sound, and I was not being shot at. Dr. Seligman says of the difference, rather than allowing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, we create Post-Traumatic Growth! "First, you have to Want to change. If that's you, we can help. We CAN help." - Dan W. video The opposite of Victim is Emotional Responsibility! What we're finding is that this Emotional Responsibility (ER), then leads, quite naturally, to PR or Personal Responsibility. If I'm in charge of my thots and feelings, I want to find/create/attract/allow/generate/imagine/solicit/enjoy good feelings, so I:" - handle my sh*t - learn to work and play well with others - create some income - get a grip - etc. ... and being Personally Responsible leads to SR or Social Responsibility - Help selves, others, the planet - give a damn - be kind, reach out - don't have wars - etc. People with high EQ tend to be kinder, more loving, more aware, more successful, more at ease, more liked and likable, get sick less, whine less, commit suicide less, live longer, have less insurance claims, are less addicted, have less violence, screw up less and hardly ever kill anyone! Sooo, since ER leads to PR, then to SR, and some day, to Social Reform and world peace, I make the statement that EQ can, in fact, change the world, from the inside out. Thus, our mission statement. 2GetHelp is a 501c3 non-profit whose mission is to create world peace and harmony by making a fundamental shift in human consciousness, changing the world from the inside out. Significant evidence and results now show that adding right-brain emotional intelligence (EQ) to our left-brain intellectual education (IQ) could lead to social reform around the globe! EQ is already having significant, measurable impact on education, mental health, business, families, military, entertainment and more, and provides a social framework that elicits cooperation and connection, at a core level. As a society, we learn left-brain knowledge in school and at home, but there is little or no formal education for critical right-brain concepts, emotional literacy, self-management, and basic life-skills. As a result, we (especially men) make behavioral decisions based on incomplete or incorrect information... we know what we think, but we do not know what we feel. This fundamental breakdown has lead to many of our current social problems -- including addictions, suicide, mental health, divorce, crime, abuse, violence, even war -- all largely due to a lack of training to effectively understand, manage and control our internal thoughts, our feelings, and especially, our behaviours. Our mission is to band together the many like-minded organizations, caregivers and aware citizens to spread EQ through inexpensive educational techniques, powerful role-modeling and mentoring programs, and a concerted, organized effort to bring emotional intelligence awareness, education and environment to the masses, with the goal of having these concepts and skills effect large-scale social change. We now have tremendous amounts of data to show the overwhelmingly positive statistics on people learning EQ and improving their results, their relationships and their lives -- compassionate and informed leaders, child-building parents, transforming business and customer service, healing and recovery in mental health, reduction in crime and decreases in recidivism, inspired teams breaking sales and scoring records, enhanced academic performance, increases in pro-social behaviors/decreases in anti-social behaviours, and more... much more. EQ is HOT... and I believe this will be one of the hottest industries in the next 5-20 years, as people figure out the MAGIC of EQ. 'what is eq' was searched on Google 2.7M times in April, Josh had 30,000 signups for eWeek, the LI-EIN group has 45,000 members... people are starting to listen... we need to speak up! EQ Changes Lives, Quickly, Inexpensively, and Permanently Every single Behaviour we do... every action, every word, every decision we make... is based on at least one thought and at least one feeling. We know some about our thoughts, but as a society, and especially us guys, we don't know squat about our feelings! In fact, we not only don't know and understand them... we hate 'em! They're mysterious and seem uncontrollable. They're mushy, and uncomfortable, and confusing, and unclear. Feelings are disrespected, hidden, lied about, denied, act-like-we're-angry-when-we're-really-just-afraid, we add Ego where it doesn't belong, we're macho, we use our strength to overpower and induce fear in others, and we become control freaks, or we disconnect, and feel alone, and apart from (rather than a part of). Based on social issues, that plan ain't working very well. But, once understood, accepted, appreciated and managed, we can change our negative feelings to positives! I now have numbers to show that people with positive emotions: Have lower disease risk Fewer symptoms and less pain Have less DOVs (doctor office visits) Live longer Earn more (about 33% more!) Do better in school Have more satisfying relationships Enjoy more satisfying social networks (a key factor in longevity) Better decision-making (better info employing both our left- and right-brain) More flexible thought processes Improved memory More creative and innovative problem-solving Improved performance and achievement Have more fun! ... and so on... ----------- EXAMPLES ----------- Here are examples of huge areas of life that are effected/affected by EQ: Education: Are you familiar with the term SEL - Social and Emotional Learning? That's what EQ is called in the academic world. They just got legislation to REQUIRE SEL training for kiddos in the core curriculum in US public schools (yay)! And a recent meta-analysis of over 200 schools who already teach SEL/EQ showed an 11% increase in academic test scores (!!) AND, lower absenses, suspensions, problems. With EQ training, pro-social behaviours went up 9-10%, including: - Attendance - Behaving well in class - Liking school Anti-social behaviours went down the same margin: - Drug use - Violence - Bullying ... and the kicker is that Academic achievement scores went up 11 percentile points! Military: Realizing the debilitating issues with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), are now researching this thoroughly (the VA is one of the fastest growing segments of the US Govt, and not in a good way). They found that some people, having fought side by side and experienced the exact same traumas, some get PTSD and some don't... why?... resilience (the ability to 'bounce back' from difficulties, to find good in what they do, and to even come out emotionally stronger despite overwhelming odds). Rather than PTSD (a disorder), they taught PTG (post-traumatic growth), a way to heal, and actually get stronger, because of what they've been thru. Sooo, the US Army commissioned the UofPenn, and using Dr. Martin Seligman's Positive Psychology to teach the soldiers resilience (EQ). Rather than try to train all 1.1M troops, they trained the trainers... the drill seargeants... all 41,000 of them... in intensive EQ skills. It went very well. (rated at 4.9 out of 5, as the "best training they've ever had in the army" Healthcare: Kaiser hospitals did a thorough study on the physical effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACE) and found that a child with four or more adverse childhood experiences is 5 times more likely to become an alcoholic and 60 percent more likely to become obese... a boy with four or more of these experiences is 46 times more likely to become an injection drug user than other children. The researchers found that the effects of trauma are cumulative, but that some of these effects can be offset by acknowledging and discussing these issues. Doctor Office Visits (DOVs) went down an amazing 11% just by asking new patients on the intake form if they have had one or more of these adverse experiences, and DOVs went down a staggering 34% if the patient was asked by a human, out loud! (can you imagine the amount of $$ saved by that big of a reduction in DOVs?!?) Parenting: A poll by USA Today showed that, when asked what they most wanted to change in their children's schools, a full 75% of all parents asked for emotional literacy (though not by name). Parents' most frequent request (36%) was the desire for more school counselors - a need alleviated by Emotional Literacy education. The second greatest request (33%) was the desire for emotional diagnosis of our kids before it was 'too late.' The third most prolific desire was to insure our kids are taught not to hate (18%). Business: As I'm sure you know, EQ is the bomb in business! Customer service, employee retention, sales, motivation, marketing, branding, teamwork, leadership, supervision, vision, mission, control, power, results, commitment, cooperation -- sooo much of it is EQ-based. Six seconds, the world's leading EQ trainer with offices in 11 countries, has collected dramatic numbers on the benefits of EQ on Leadership and Financial Performance, Sales and Customer Loyalty, Star Performance and Retention. Conclusion: “Leaders are learning that emotional intelligence isn’t just a new label for sales techniques or a repackaging of feel-good aphorism — they’re coming to recognize emotional intelligence as a core skill-set, grounded in science, that underlies performance, and they’re committing to bring these assets on board.” http://www.6seconds.org/2010/10/06/the-business-case-for-emotional-intelligence-2010/ "Companies don't just want kids with technical skills, they want kids with technical skills who know how to get along, who can cooperate and be good team members, who relate well to customers, who manage their emotions well, who stay motivated, who take initiative -- those are social-emotional skills. We need to get over the mindset that sees this as something extra, something unnecessary." Mainstream: People are starting to REALize that EQ is magical! We can't really do much about our IQ, but we can RADICALLY improve our EQ, quickly, profoundly, permanently, and at a VERY low cost of delivery! EQ is really just Ideas, and concepts, and conclusions, and attitudes, and a life-style choice to have ER/PR/SR, so it can all be taught, spread, injected, enthused by word of mouth, or in pictures, or videos and audios... the fun stuff. IQ + EQ = LOL !! This may sound flippant, but it's actually quite true (LOL = Laugh out Loud, or Lots of Love!), and in many ways, EQ > IQ ... and people are starting to figure this out! In fact, look at Facebook nowadays... by far the most popular thing (at least among my peeps) is those Pictures with cool sayings on them, right? Those cool sayings are all EQ!! quotes, life-advice, feel better, a dif. perspective, Go for it, Choose love, Rock on... etc. And, I'm sure you know this way better than I... a lot of the new company tag lines for advertising are about the Customer, not the product... so they're often EQ-based! Nike: "Find your greatness", Agilent: "Dreams Made Real", ATI Technologies: "Get In the Game", Cadence: "How Big Can You Dream?", Dell Computer: "Get More out of Now", IFI: "The Power of Choice", J.C. Penney: "It's all Inside", McDonald's: "I'm Lovin' It", Sony: "Make. Believe", Yahoo!: "It’s you!" ----------- EQ Training & EQ Healing ----------- Mental Health (aka Emotional Healing, our/my specialty) We're not therapists and we don't do therapy... we're Much faster, Much cheaper, More bold, and way more fun! Get In, Get it Out, Get On !! We can't Heal what we Can't (or Won't) Feel! IQ + EQ = LOL !! Name it to Tame it. Feel it to Heal it! Get a Grip, Get a Clue, Get a Life !! The New Directions Workshops we have been teaching for 25 years now (3 generations), "Goes right to the Heart of the Matter", and a 3-time, Lt. Col, Vietnam vet called it an "Emotional Bootcamp". And it is... we don't pull any punches. We do everything, Everything, with love, so that gives us room to maneuver, and be very, very real with people, and their feelings. We ask people in class 3 simple questions... Who or what hurt you the most? Who or what are you angry at? Who or what are you afraid of? The answers, and the healing, of these 3 basic questions, is the basis of emotional healing, and can (and usually does) change lives! As I'm sure you know, most try to avoid their feelings -- in healthy ways: with medications, affirmations, meditation, yoga, (even some forms of therapy), and unhealthy ways: addictions, self-medicating, escapes, stuffing, denying -- but we do the opposite. We go right FOR the feelings! We're about facing them... facing ourselves... head-on. We face down our worst fear, and BEAT IT. Get to the Root of our anger and rage, and Tame it. Sink to our deepest, darkest depression, rest a bit, then Come back stronger than ever, turning it to Personal Power! If our ego can allow us to be a basket-case, to let our body feel and release whatever it wants to, for one weekend, to expand, to (re-)activate your right-brain, to stretch, and to heal. People leave feeling Courageous, and Accomplished, and Encouraged, and Hopeful, and Rejuvinated, and Free. it's pretty cool to watch and incredible to experience. In fact, the workshop could/would make an awesome Reality TV show(!) -- meeting the people beforehand, semi-clueless, shut-down, afraid -- then watch them learn what they need, PUSH through their Fears, BLAST out their Anger, and lay balling on the floor (sometimes), and then COME THRU it all, victorious, vulnerable, but proud, and hopeful, and free, and forever changed for the better. (people could follow participants' lives afterwards, and see how things are changing, how they Apply their new higher EQ, the new decisions they get to make, the new heights they get to reach.) The biggest new thing that I have seen, is Love. NDers LOVE, a LOT! The first thing to come out is pent-up Love. They/we go, 'Yay, I've finally found a someone and some place where I won't be judged for my feelings and who I am... I feel safe to be real around you guys... I love that. "ND is my safe haven." (heard many, many times, and it's mine, as well... tho' I've also gotten good at making myself feel emotionally safe there or almost anywhere these days... what a relief!). It's not about me trusting them, it's about me trusting me. Dan, I don't know if you've done any/much of your own childhood emotional work, but if not, I gotta tell you... you've heard about pillow-pounders, and we've all heard plenty of sarcasm and criticism about how people who are enoucaged to get really angry tend to get really angry MORE OFTEN -- well, that's true.... if they want to. And, there's plenty to be angry about in our world. You want edgy, you should hear me in class! Ever seen Dr. Phil? I/we do much the same 'confrontation' as he does, only I come from love (rather than trying to embarrass them, or make them look foolish for their stupid behaviours). My job too is to build people up PISS PEOPLE OFF, more than they've EVER let themselves be Pissed before, and do it in a way where they get relief and release and can change their negative core belief systems while they're at it... oh, and come out hugging me (and everyone else in the room) afterwards. It's wild... man, I could tell you some stories... (lol) What we're finding is that if we can get in touch with our own inner child, and find Empathy, and compassion, and caring, and Love for that little person (us), first, then we can have/allow/create true empathy and compassion for others! How can we love others if we can't even love ourselves? So yeah, when people Realize how much of who they are today is a direct result of decisions they made in the past, people are shocked to find out how a traumatized little kid is running their/our lives! So, here's the GOOD NEWS: Since we 'decided' all these things about life/us/our family/how we fit in/or didn't... we can Re-decide 'em... and heal, and get better, and do better, and make better decisions, and balance our IQ and our EQ, and grow up, and be a kind, loving, strong, powerful person from here on. Since we're getting such good results, why not change the Therapeutic model, while we're at it? We've partnered over 20 years with a therapist in Fresno, Myron Doc Downing, Ph D, LMFT (love those credentials), and he is friggin' great at this! Like Rudolph Dreikurs did for Alfred Adler's work, he has taken Perls, Dreikurs and Gestalt, and has a way of summing them up so that it's super clear, makes sense, is easily understandable and applicable, and reproducible. So, he (and I, and Paula) took it to the classroom, the most amazing human laboratory, took the very most popular (and fastest and cheapest) kinda therapy, CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and Enhanced it, improved on it, adding the right-brain Affective component to make it CABT... a more complete (left- and right-brain) intervention. It's more thorough, more profound, a deeper cleansing of the soul, a release of our negative feelings from childhood and re-deciding of our unconscious negative/limiting/debilitating childhood belief systems. It's about going back to see where we 'split off' from ourselves, from others, sometimes, from reality. We're not diagnosing, or advising... we're just helping people identify, separate, appreciate, acknowledge, understand, and accept their own pain/anger/sadness/fear/guilt/shame, deal with what happened to us as a kid, and how that's STILL effecting us now (in many big and little, conscious and unconscious ways), and help people CHANGE IT... change it all. It went in us via our right-brain, it is retained in our right-brain, and it needs to be released/replaced/re-decided by our right-brain. Strictly left-brain talk therapy can work, to a point, but there's more... so much more... waiting/stuffed/stressing us/ready to explode/available, on the right-side of our brains! The premise of CABT goes E -> M -> F -> B EVENT - shit happens to us as kids, good things, bad things, horrible things... doesn't matter... feelings trump severity. MEANING - we 'decide' stuff about ourselves, about life, about how we fit in (or not), who we are, what matters to us, and how to survive FEELINGS - based on the Meanings we chose, we often feel pain, anger, fear, etc. as a kid, but we had no way to express or deal with it, so we internalize it all, cut it off and stuff it away, inside us. BEHAVIOUR - we act, based on our thoughts, or meanings (whether conscious or NOT) plus our feelings (that very often run the show). Behaviours = Actions. Actions create Results (good or bad) The key to undestanding ourselves, and having empathy and love for ourselves, is to accept and appreciate what we, as a kid, went thru/endured/battled/lived thru. The key to emotional healing is to work the EMFB model backwards... look at our current behaviours, check out the feelings and meanings that are behind, underneath and around our behaviours (one of our favorite questions in class is, "so how'z that working for you?!?"), deal with the feelings -- honestly, powerfully, boldly and completely -- and CHANGE/modify/enhance/improve the meanings/belief systems/generalized decisions about ourselves, to ones that work better for us. (like "I'm not lovable", and "I'm dirty and no good", and "I'm am powerless", and "people leave me", etc.) We can change sooo much of what we 'learned', so quickly. This stuff is incredibly simple but it ain't easy, or painless... it may be some of the hardest work we ever do in our lives... but oh so worth it) Doing childhood 'inner child' work is pretty magical just in itself... check this (I just thot of these last week) - all empathy starts with self-empathy - all love starts with self-love - what we're finding is that if we can get in touch with our own inner child, and find Empathy, and compassion, and caring, and Love for that little person (us), first, then we can have/allow/create true empathy and compassion for others! How can we love others if we can't even love ourselves? So yeah, when people Realize how much of who they are today is a direct result of decisions they made in the past, people are shocked to find out how a traumatized little kid is running their/our lives! So, here's the GOOD NEWS: Since we 'decided' all these things about life/us/our family/how we fit in/or didn't... we can Re-decide 'em... and heal, and get better, and do better, and make better decisions, and balance our IQ and our EQ, and grow up, and be a kind, loving, strong, powerful person from here on. Recently, we've found that once we activate the right-brain, we can actually CHANGE the nastiest memories inside us that haunt us -- the pictures/sounds/smells/tastes/touches -- all right-brain stuff... and the good news is... it's all changeable! The VA put out a $240M grant to help manage PTSD, because "we are losing the war on PTSD" (not verbatim, but close) with over 40% of deployed soldiers returning home with a diagnosable mental disorder. They went on to say, what we know works, such as: - Exposure Therapy (like CABT)- where they take people back to the event, let them feel the complete impact of what happened, bring them to closure, discover what they 'decided about life' during those pain-filled moments, and Re-imagine the event, the pictures, the feelings, the decisions, the conflict... all of it. We have seen semi-amazing retractions in sleeplessness, meds, hypervigilance, and The US Army recently realize For our workshops, I don't have the numbers I need to show that it's an "evidence-based intervention". sorry. needs work. What I do have tho is gobs of subjective data, from the mouths of the folks who experienced it. We have hundreds and hundreds of unsolicited testimonials, and almost 100 video and audio testimonials from our graduates who want to SHOUT OUT how amazing this simple, loving, rejuvinating workshop experience was for them (in fact, I just got an email this morning from a long-time grad who said "ND was the single most changing agent I have ever experienced."- Valerie G.) For me, and most of my best friends (a nice side benefit of this work is that I have lots of friends, and people who actively, vocally love me and my fam) will tell you that ND was the 'best thing we ever did for ourselves'. seriously. If you haven't been to the depth of your anger, and the core of your fear and sadness, there's whole parts of you that you have never met, and whole parts of your heart, childhood and your soul that remain unexplored! some examples: When Feelings go up, Logic goes down Anger is a secondary emotion... we always feel something first, before we feel angry. Depression is anger turned inwards (Sigmund Freud), or mine, which is: Depression is anger without enthusiasm! There are two kinds of Guilt, Productive guilt and Punishing guilt. Thou shall not Should on thyself. There are two kinds of Shoulds. Shoulds we agree with and live by, Shoulds we don't agree with, but they're stuck in our heads from others. Whenever we feel guilty, we will set ourselves up to be punished. Be angry, and sin not. (ok, I stole that one from this really Good Book I read once) Guilt is 100% optional. So is Shame. So is Anger. All anger is manufactured. We are not born with anger, we learn it. all of it. Anger is 100% based on our thoughts... there is no 'natural' anger. We gotta Feel it to Heal it. Name it to Tame it. IQ+ EQ = LOL !! (laugh out loud, or lots of love) Use "I" messages and talk about your feelings, and you'll never get in a fight again. Opinions are debatable. Feelings are not. Hopelessness is based on Powerlessness. #1 Communication Skill: Shut up and Listen! #1 Most Important Relationship: my relationship with me If we don't like the pictures, sounds, smells, tastes or touches that are stuck in our right-brain, we can CHANGE them (thanks to NLP). Yes, even horrible, recurring, PTSD-type nightmares can be changed, completely... as our mind doesn't really know the dif. between real and imagined. We can start a picture going, and then POOF, Re-imagine it... however you wish... melt it, have the people change into bunny rabbits, get lighter and fade away, get darker until they're gone, explode into snowflakes... your right-brain 'imagined' it the first time you experienced it... and it can quite easily re-imagine it, and the new overlays the old, and all the Feelings/meanings/powerlessness/trauma/victim of it all, disappears along with it. Oh, and it can take as little as 5-10 minutes (try it some time... just take a yucky picture and change it, however you wish. Emotional healing really works! ----------- Pasta-bilities ----------- "Every dollar we've ever made, and every dollar we ever will make, is based on a relationship with someone else." I believe people are hungry to learn how to live happier, in less pain, with better results, and they're seeing that giving works wonders, so the time is ripe for us to lead the charge, set the example, create the environment, and make it happen! The target market is astoundingly large, there are numerous, highly profitable income stream possibilities, and people are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ. My EQ expansion model is: 1. Awareness - Share the good news and magic of EQ (most folks are still quite clueless in this area) 2. Education - Teach/show/model/explain/empower folks to learn and practice this new language/attitude/skills/life 3. Environment - Setup a safe place, with EQ-centered people, where we can Connect, Learn, Grow, and make Stuff happen, together Awareness I want to teach people how to have relationships -- first with themselves, then with others -- how to listen properly, how to connect, how to open the heart, how to balance the mind and heart, how to 'process' and 'get over' negative feelings and how to redirect people's belief systems from powerless to powerful, from victim to leader, from me to we. Let's give away the basic concepts -- via social media, thru entertainment, thru advertising, in the press -- to let everyone know that Happiness is a Choice, that Feelings Matter, and that IQ + EQ = LOL !!. "Where people go 2GetHelp with their Lives!" I imagine a way that we can compile, coordinate, standardize and organize the many, many EQ offerings that are happening world-wide, and become the definitive resource for all things EQ. People don't know where to go 2GetHelp with their lives, online or locally, in-person. People don't come looking for coaching or workshops... they look for solutions to problems, like relationships, marriage problems, depression, anger, career, how to handle difficult people, and so on. So, we offer a solution-based site where they can drill down to their particular problem or issue, then branch out to the many solutions offered for that problem. (ex: Depression: read books, take a class, see how the brain works with depression, causes of depression, coaching, therapy, medications, warnings, tips and tricks, a community to discuss depression, support groups, my journalling area, jokes about depression, stories of hope and healing of depression, etc. Environment I envision a world-wide network of the most extensive, and effective(!), emotional support ever built. I believe we can build a network of peers (volunteers) and pros (vendors), with a database of all types of EQ resources offered, who together can/will provide 24x7x365 emotional support world-wide, using all four of our main ways of communicating these days... online, by phone, mobile and in-person. 2GetHelp- for folks who want help, we teach people EQ, for free, then we introduce them to the support environent where they can share/learn/connect/discover/practice/learn/grow/love/find love. 2GiveHelp - volunteer $$ worldwide are down, but volunteer Hours are up, dramatically... why? People WANT to give, they're seeing/feeling/tasting the wonderful joy found only in the service of others (which makes it a kinda selfish activity right? Members join our "family" at a low, one-time fee -- like a family, you join and you're in, for life, unless you choose to get out, or be an ass enough that we kick you out. Then, for additional services, I see a profitable gym-type, pay-monthly, membership area with a global network of both peers and pros, givers (2GiveHelp.com) and getters (2GetHelp.com), supported by affiliate marketers (2SellHelp.com). Education I want to see us train as many people as possible on EQ, for free. I also want to teach people how to have relationships, that work, for free. But this will also be a profitable income stream... here's my idea: for each area, we create an upbeat, interactive, online EQ training and awareness class for folks to get started on - EQ-101: It's all about Me, the basics of EQ. Then, we collaborate with other providers to offer specialized trainings, products, reading materials, support groups, etc. which are off-shoots of the EQ-100 series (most of which will be affiliate-based, where everyone wins). We also create EQ-201: From Me to We: EQ Communication Skills. So, EQ-101 is free, then EQ-102, 103, 104, etc. are not. EQ-201 is free, but EQ-202, 203, 204. are not, and so on. EQ-100s - Me, I. self-awareness, self-esteem, self-care, feelings and emotions, head/heart/hand, Know/Choose/Give IQ + EQ, balance, etc. EQ-200s - We: empathy, relationships, communication skills, boundaries, compassion, SUAL (shut up and listen), etc. EQ-300s - Us: Teams, commitment, goal-setting, intention, fitting in, etc. EQ-400s - Organizations, change management, sales, employee retention, personal power, etc. EQ-500s - Leaderships, training for trainers, individuals, groups, business, government, speaking, communicating, global impact, etc. EDGY-ness Let me put it in your EDGY language: Extreme Behaviour Disciplined Activity Giving Mindset human StrategY Extreme Behaviour: Our classes exhibit extreme behaviour. We work with feelings at a deeper and more core level than anyone I've ever seen (and being manager of the LI-EIN group, I've seen a Bunch!) We have had the police called on us more than once because of the blood-curtling screams of anguish and pain that come from our walls. We have had classes go all night, from 9am Sunday morning to noon the next day, non-stop, so that everyone could experience the joy and release the same as their classmates, no matter what. I sleep very little, as I am fanatically trying to bring this critical info about EQ to the world... Disciplined Activity: Although discipline is not one of my strong points, I believe that consistently teaching these classes, in people's faces, and holding them as they raged, or bawled, for 25 years, thru thick and thin, thru deaths and births, for 3 generations, and raising our kids with high EQ, and having hundreds of people in a high EQ community who are not just surviving, we're thriving, and healing and trying to tell everyone about what we've found, for this long... takes a lot of discipline, I think. Giving Mindset: I honestly don't know how I could be any more giving than I am. I believe my intentions truly are pure, to genuinely help my fellow man/woman feel better and do better and be happier, and more loving, and more successful in life... because if they do, I win, me and the people I care about are safer and do better, and we all enjoy a better life experience! human StrategY: My strategy is to love people as much as I know how, share my life and love and pain, and fears with them, honestly, boldly, consciously, transparently, in a way where everyone wins. I want all our products and services to be priced as low as possible, so more can take advantage of it. I'd LOVE to be funded (corporate or non-profit), or be making enough income in other areas that we don't have to charge AT ALL for EQ training! I'd love to (and plan to) quit my job in SF, to devote my life to what I know is my passion and calling, as soon as I am able to replace the income. I could go on and on... and I have. My personal log file is over 300,000 lines long (I had to split it up, so I could carry it with me, 20Mb .TXT file). I will never give up the notion that I am here to spread EQ to the world, one way or another. ----------- MCP, MCP ----------- Let me talk about me for a minute... (you can skip this section, if you just wanna jump to the Conclusions, below) (I'm not sure if this part goes under Extreme Behaviour, Displined Activity, or completely nutso, but here goes...) I'm not arrogant, I'm experienced. I'm not pushy, I'm motivated (or motorvated) I'm not cocky, I'm just sure this stuff works. Dude, for some reason, this stuff just makes sense to me. People make sense to me. I'm not that great at business, but I am seriously good with people, and feelings, and emotions, and behaviours... for some reason I 'get' people really well, and I can help them feel, and identify and separate and accept their feelings, and themselves, with love, care and empathy (even through their own roadblocks and blocks that they've been telling themselves their whole lives) and this helps them heal, in amazing ways. People give me permission (in class) to be radically honest with them, and help them dig out their deepest, negative feelings, and discard them, to feel better... much better... often permanently. We have our weekend ND workshop every 6-8 weeks, for 25 years now, in 4 states, with over 2,000 happy(er) graduates. We've done 3 rounds of a 2-year instructor training course. I've written over 800 blog posts on EQ and 4 email-based tips and quote sendouts, I have 8 notebooks full of EQ writings (that are currently being transcribed, yay), I have 6 websites, 3 twitter accounts, 6 facebook pages, scoop.it, pinterest, and youtube (with hours and hours of ND testimonials, informercials and teachings). I have over 1,200 facebook friends (and I actually know most of 'em), 700 on LinkedIn, 1,500 on Twitter, I am one of two primary moderators for the largest EQ group we know of (LI-EIN), I've single-handedly run the most amazingly-loving, supportive, positive, friendly, happy (but real feelings, too) support group of over 200+ ND grads for over 12 years, I run an emotional support group by phone every other Wednesday evening, we've created 3 half-hour TV segments of "EQ-101, The Art and Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)", I've been on the radio and Tv numerous times, edited 3 books in print, I'm a certified Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Crisis Counselor, a certified Nurturing Parenting course instructor, a Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP, which are the same as my initials already, so I'm actually "MCP, MCP"), I'm a Microsoft Office User Specialist (MOUS), and I'm on 2 non-profit Boards, have 3 grown kids and 4 high-school-aged grandkids (whom I hang out with a lot, and go skiing with, and took to Arizona over New Years to my parents' home, and love dearly), I run an an extremely profitable side-business uniquely supplying fresh Eucalyptus to pet birds and sugar gliders (EucProducts.com, we're #2 on Google and Yahoo!, #1 on Bing for 'fresh eucalyptus'), since 2004, we've shipped over 2,000 orders, almost pure profit (all product is free on our property, and all boxes are free from the USPostOffice!)... oh, and I have a full-time job... and 2 side-jobs as a computer consultant, mostly programming in MS Access and SQL Server (I'm on my 84th job, my resume is 11 pages long, working for feds, 2 states, 4 cities and counties, businesses and non-profits, large and small). We have a for-profit (Directions Unlimited, who has put on the New Directions Workshops for 25 years) and a non-profit 501c3, 2GetHelp, Inc. I'm applying for a foundation fellowship offered by the philanthropic arm of an extremely successful VC firm in SF... Draper-Richards-Kaufman. They only fund projects that seek to create social reform 'at least' in the US, and preferably, the world. ($100k/yr for 3 years) ----------- NOW WHAT?!? ----------- Conclusion: EQ is HOT, and it's going to get hotter, much hotter! The Movement has started to spread the good word about EQ. What if we were able to inspire business, and entertainment, and sports, and military, and media, and politics, and some day, government to lead with their heart? What if we could teach EQ to people for free? What if all kids in schools were taught EQ/SEL? What if we got grants and/or corporate sponsorship to build the most effective emotional support ever, spanning the globe both virtually and in person (world-wide 'franchises' of 2GetHelp Therapy, Wellness and EQ Training Centers)? What if we were able to make a HUGE impact on the world, with a totally free, totally natural, totally God-given resource that is available in unlimited quantities INSIDE of us?!? We can do this! Whatchathink? - Matt 916-599-8597 - 06:47 Dan Vicky Hammond bcc: Josh, Val, Steve, Cheryl, Larry, Patrick, Martin, Ursula, Robin, Sharon, Michelle Pauls, Gloria, Elle Jay, Glori (bcelis@sbcglobal.net), "LINDA WALL" , Doc Ok Dan, you asked for a longer reply... so sit back, here goes. (attached) I have a buncha pent up supply of thoughts for someone, like you, to listen to. I'm not a therapist, nor a PhD, so that cuts me outta of a lot of credibility, but I'm an EQ junkie, who's lived and breathed this stuff for over 20 years. Why? I strongly believe that a) EQ can/is gonna save/change the world, and b) somehow, I'm a dude that's supposed to help make that happen. so, yeah, it came out to over 10 pages, so I threw in some headings. Here's a quick TOC. - Intro - Examples - EQ Training & EQ Healing - Pasta-bilities - MCP, MCP - Now What?!? I'm excited to hear your thoughts on all this. Thanks for caring! - Matt (916) 599-8597 --- MFF eblast They May Never Pass This Way Again - Alloy Orchestra BRING ALLOY ORCHESTRA’S WALL OF JUNK SOUND EFFECTS & MUSIC TO THE MENDOCINO FILM FESTIVAL! The Mendocino Film Festival and Kickstarter [make this a live link using Kickstarter logo from their web site] - The world's largest funding platform for creative projects gives you an opportunity to help bring the world famous Alloy Orchestra to MFF. Kick in and become a community producing partner. Alloy Orchestra www.alloyorchestra.com Make live link has been hailed as one of the greatest interpreters of silent film accompaniment, receiving critical acclaim for its performances at The Telluride Film Festival, The Lincoln Center, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, The Louvre, and The San Francisco Silent Film Festival. Working with an outrageous assemblage of peculiar objects, they thrash and grind soulful music from unlikely sources. MFF has a rare opportunity to bring Alloy Orchestra to Mendocino for two performances. When the opportunity presented itself our budget was complete without any room to squeeze the orchestra in. Because the prospect of Alloy Orchestra at the Mendocino Film Festival is so special we decided to ask our audience of film lovers, friends and family to help us bring them to the coast. We know they may never pass our way again. We’ve turned to crowd funding— a way for everyone to be a Mendocino Film Festival Producing Partner all for the cost of a few espressos, or more! Please join us in bringing this outstanding 3-piece ensemble, with their "wall of junk" noisemakers and sound effects to the coast. It has been said on countless occasions that an evening (or afternoon) with Alloy Orchestra is a cinematic experience of a lifetime. To cover travel and performance fees our goal is to raise $5555. And it’s easy on www.Kickstarter.com [make this link live] The Joshua Grindle Inn http://www.joshgrin.com/ [make this link live] has kick started our campaign by donating 3- nights in their prime room to go with two all access film festival passes for the top reward (there is only one) of the Mendocino Film Festival weekend! Kick in what you are able. If we don’t meet our goal by May 10 at 7:13 PM we receive nothing. Kick in what you can to bring Alloy Orchestra to Mendocino. We know they may never pass our way again. Visit Kickstarter for your donation’s tax-deductible options. "I was fascinated by the power of silent film to draw me into a reverie state so deep it is like a waking dream. At Alloy's screening of THE LAST COMMAND." - Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun Times Add photo of Alloy Orchestra - visit www.alloyorchestra.com for more information --- 08:18 Links Shadow Act http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4Fv98jttYA&feature=youtu.be Subconscious Restructuring® Counseling Coaching Intervention http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/subconscious-restructuring-intervention Do we need emotional intelligence? By Julian Baggini and Antonia Macaro Managing our feelings is an important life skill but is it really a form of intelligence? http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/c5c85da8-486c-11e2-a1c0-00144feab49a.html#axzz2QWmo3Pri The Power of Talking to Your Baby http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/ Make better change by reducing choice; thinking why not how; and engineer happiness http://projectspeoplechange.blogspot.com/2013/04/make-better-change-by-reducing-choice.html Beyond EQ: Achieving Spiritual Intelligence http://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/2013/02/beyond-emotional-intelligence-achieving-spiritual-intelligence/ Stress is Killing Me! Time for Emotional Intelligence? http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/12/stress-health-emotional-intelligence/ Measuring Morale http://thetrustambassador.com/2013/04/13/measuring-morale/ intelligent life MUST be out there... http://www.faysalsulatch.com/2013/04/intelligent-life-must-be-out-there.html Sheena Iyengar: The art of choosing https://www.ted.com/talks/sheena_iyengar_on_the_art_of_choosing.html The Zen Leader Blog Leadership Advice: Why "Experiencing" is better than "Showing" http://blog.focusleadership.com/Zen-Leader-Blog/bid/283118/Leadership-Advice-Why-Experiencing-is-better-than-Showing How important a role can brain research play in transforming education? http://app.streamsend.com/s/1/BSAD/xcps51M/8k3nl Three Essential Facts About Feelings 90 sec video http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/10/three-essential-facts-about-feelings/ Changing Together http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/10/changing-together/ Kindness Makes You Happy… and Happiness Makes You Kind http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/kindness_makes_you_happy_and_happiness_makes_you_kind Five Things Mothers Want Dads To Know http://becomingdad.com.au/five-things-mothers-want-dads-to-know/ The Key to Your Career Advancement: An Emotional Intelligence Mentor http://www.businessinsider.com/the-key-to-your-career-advancement-an-emotional-intelligence-mentor-2013-4 How to make Glowing Celestial Mason jars (!) http://recycledawblog.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-make-glowing-celestial-mason-jars.html --- 08:25 to FB USPO back home to drop off 8 cases of boxes 09:16 off to SR 12:10 (< 3 hours, NICE!) Larkspur ferry --- DanW I have a manifesto! Feedback: Val ! Doc ! Josh, e to Dan LJ ! So, I printed your attachment…holy crap. You blew my mind. But, in a good way. - Well, that does indeed cover it, my friend. It's an epic. When I read it, I was really impressed, Matt. I don't want to review what I liked, I just saw something to maybe add (unless I missed it). In the section that you make the points that people don't make us angry, sad, or anything...it's what WE do internally to ourselves. I would add right there something like: We do indeed store up these feelings that bog us down, keep us stuck, interfere with our relationships, goals, etc. and THAT we can do something about. EQ works! So, what do you think of Dan. On track? Expensive? How do you think he can help. I looked at his website a bit. Pretty impressive, huh? Have you had a change to check him out? How did you hear about him? I didn't spend enough time on his site to see what he's done for other companies, recommendations, etc. His site is exciting and inviting. .v. - Matt, You have impressed me in a very good way. Your explanation of EQ, especially the areas in which you quote research, I loved. What it says to me is that you are really paying attention to the changes in this field. That you are educating yourself. I had a friend who is a professor at Fresno State. He said, "If you spend an hour a day, seven days a week studying a specific subject, within five years you would be an expert in that field." It would be the equivalent of having a degree in that field! He was a chemistry professor, but he was one of the top experts in solar heating in California. May I suggest to you that you organize your research in the manner that a professional might put at the end of their paper. This would give the author's name first, then the articles name, the source and the date. This would be very impressive to a professional who might read your paper. This would be one step to getting the recognition that you so rightly deserve. Minor question, your spelling of behaviours, is this in English spelling? I was going to go through and make some corrections, but then decided that I had better check with you. Doc - Hey there friend, So, I printed your attachment…holy crap. You blew my mind. But, in a good way. So… if you don’t mind, I am gonna add some thoughts, of course, in bubble form, just ideas about how and who we can target to start…part of the ideas I had the other day when I wanted to talk with you. I am not sure why the Universe has me where it does, but my cubicle has been nicknamed the “Center” because ALL of the work-study’s come and talk to me… they need this stuff so badly, but in a different way, and a different consistency…ya know? Anyway, let’s chat…. I have idears… and I want to help. Love you guys! Laurel Medlock | Veteran Certification Official Office of the Registrar Metropolitan State University of Denver Campus Box 84, P.O. Box 173362, Denver, CO 80217-3362 (303) 556-3975 Lmedloc1@msudenver.edu - Hi Dan - nice to meet you - Matt sent me to look @ your website - looks like you're doing a great job messaging. For several years we considered NOT talking so directly about "emotional intelligence" and just having that in the background, but we decided we need to stand out for what we stand for (the tagline of our branding partners - www.incitepartners.com) - so we lead foot-forward with EQ. And most orgs don't want it... but the ones that do, we serve. Here's the way we do this: http://www.6seconds.org/2012/01/27/structuring-transformational-learning/ Warmly, - Josh --- PP = 3102 -321 USPS -5 FB SB Gift for Cole Ikes -25 FB SB Gift for Robin -5 FB SB Gift for Maryam Webster -29.95 24hr. hmmm... +1 new sub (1B) --- Hi Shruti, I’d like to take a few days off around Memorial Day, please. Remember how my wife went up to Washington to help her sister’s husband after his cancer surgery? Well, he’s gotten worse, so we’re thinking he doesn’t have long… and we wanted be sure to see him one more time, while we can. He has some trees he wants to give us as a gift, to remember him by (he grafted them and has kept them for us for months now), and it seems really important that he give them to us, so we’re going to drive up rather than fly. Therefore, I’d like to take PTO on Thursday and Friday, May 23 and 24… Monday the 27th is Memorial Day holiday… then Tuesday and Wednesday May 28 and 29. I guess it also makes sense to WFH the days surrounding the PTO days. If this is ok with you, I’ll update the PTO tracker on Sharepoint. It’s going to be a long drive and an expensive trip, but we’re hoping it is worthwhile. I do not want to make that same trip, only for his funeral… it’s too late then. Thanks. - Matt --- We've got 1:30 tomorrow, inside table in my name. Supposed to be windy, otherwise the outdoors tables are quote lovely. See you there! --- PS: The Invisible War movie Saturday April 27th at Matheson Preforming Arts Center 10400 Ford Street, Mendocino 7 PM --- >> Come down a day early April 28 come to work early on Monday, the 29th leave early May 2, for pkp's birthday --- LI-EIN Links The art of receiving unexpected feedback http://learnaslead.com/2013/04/14/the-art-of-receiving-unexpected-feedback/ Video: 4 Weapons women use against each other http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgXc4lttJWk&feature=share 12 Ways to Hook an Audience in 30 Seconds http://www.openforum.com/articles/hook-presentation-audience-30-seconds/ 44,994s - Is any way to cure depression natural way? Dr Helen Mayberg inadvertently discovered it is the subconscious (thought processes) which affect the physiology of the brain and not the other way around as the pharmaceutical companies have led us to believe. You can see a video of her work here. http://www.burrisinstitute.com/counseling/depression By Kelly Burris, PhD --- Boston Massacre bombings happened today. 2 dead, 130+ injured yikes. I thot we were kinda done with all this bombing crap! not good, or fun --- Behavior vs. Behaviour whatever... it's a matt quirk! 6:10-6:50 meet with Jim re: IMM (very broken) 7:10-10:10 LF Seminar SR Fraser (season 5) chow, burger, torillas, PB --- 4.16 00:00 wash dishes 00:41 Is any way to cure depression natural way? I believe consciously using cognitive discipline to train your subconscious on positive thought processes until they become habits (cognitive therapy). Like any exercise as it has been pointed out, will take hard work and dedication. By Kendall White --- LI-EIN 44,996(!) --- pause --- 7 up (get it?) --- 07:31 Sounds good, Dan! I can do any morning at 10am your time, like we did last week. Send me a meeting request again, and off we go... thx. Rock on. - Matt p.s. - Hi Vicky! -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Guidance, please... From: "Dan Waldschmidt (202-630-6730)" Date: Tue, April 16, 2013 5:47 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Vicky Hammond Matt, I have digested your materials. I think instead of replying with a long email and a list of questions we should find time to get on the phone together. How is your schedule looking next week? Dan Waldschmidt 202-630-6730 --- Awe: "feeling we get when we come across something so strikingly vast in number, scope, or complexity that it alters the way we understand the world" - Dr. Christine Carter, Greater Good, Berkeley the key to raising resilient and well-adjusted children: emotion coaching. Emotionally literate children are better able to deal with challenging circumstances and are less impulsive at school. You'll also get strategies for boosting kids' self-motivation without using bribes, threats, or rewards. - Raising Happiness Homestudy The Full Raising Happiness Course Register now to get immediate access to all class materials 32-week class $499 raise happy kids + love your life We’ve re-launched the Raising Happiness online classes! The full 32-week class–formerly known as “The Big Kahuna”–is now a Homestudy course that you can start at any time. This new Raising Happiness Homestudy is designed for self-starters who: Want to give their kids every advantage, including the skills they need for school success. Are BUSY. Homestudy is great for dramatically improving parenting skills–and making parenting more joyful!–in a lot less time than attending a live class. Worry about the many stressors and threats to happiness that kids now face and want to teach kids the skills they need for emotional intelligence and resilience. Are interested in practicing one small happiness skill per week to feel happier and raise happier children immediately. This is what you get when you enroll in the Raising Happiness Homestudy program: 32 training videos and access to an online classroom where you can watch any video, anytime. value: $800 A copy of Raising Happiness. value: $15 Huge discounts on live coaching groups. value: $600 Three bonus trainings that address “ages and stages”: how to raise happiness if you’ve just had a baby, have a teen in the house, or if you are a grandparent. value: $87 Online access to Dr. Christine Carter: post a question online and she’ll respond within 48 hours. value: $325/hour A FREE 1-year membership to UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. value: $50 Access to a private Facebook group–a 24/7 community of like-minded parents. value: $99/month Value: more than $2,000. Actual cost: $499. These are the top 7 objections most people have to starting this Homestudy: They don’t have enough time to take a class They’re too stressed out or overwhelmed to take on something new They’re already happy, and their kids are, too They don’t really understand how an online class works They’ve already read Raising Happiness It’s a large financial investment — what if they sign up and it doesn’t work? Their children’s other parent isn’t interested, and wouldn’t participate. Here’s how I address these concerns: You can complete this course in less than an hour a week. Set aside 20 minutes a week of study (watch one training video) + a half hour a week of practice (one action that takes less than 5 minutes, six days a week). If that is still too much time for you, download the videos and listen to them while you commute, exercise, or do the dishes. This class is designed to reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm common to a lot of parents–right away. If adding the class to your life doesn’t help you feel more calm and in control, get your money back. Raising Happiness is about being happier–no matter where you start. It’s about building a foundation of skills and beliefs that will serve us, and our children, throughout our lives. Online classes are simple and timesaving. Watch this video to see how the Raising Happiness Homestudy works. If you’ve already read Raising Happiness, the Homestudy course is the next logical step. It covers more than twice the amount of information than the book, and its focus is on simple, fun practices to help you implement what you learned in both the book and the class. There’s no financial risk: Explore the Homestudy course for a full month, and if you’ve done the weekly practices and do not feel you are getting anything valuable out of them, we’ll happily refund your money. Why? Because we’re confident that if you practice what you learn in the Raising Happiness Homestudy, you and your family will be dramatically happier. The Raising Happiness Homestudy is your personal journey. In it, you will learn the skills you need to be happy. You’ll also take your parenting skills up a notch or two, making childhood happier for your kids. I’m ready to raise happiness! It is really easy to enroll! Don’t hesitate to contact us — questions@christinecarter.com — if you need help. Once you enroll, you’ll get a confirmation email with a username and password so that you can login to the classroom, and a call from our class administrator in case you have any questions about getting started. On the first Monday after you’ve signed up, you’ll get your first reminder email. “Words cannot convey how grateful I am to have discovered Dr. Carter. Her book and online classes have changed my life in so many meaningful and positive ways. Each class captivates me with interesting science based, practical tips. I have applied many at home and my family and I are so much happier and healthier because of it!” – Melanie, mother of two girls ages 9 and 7, Santa Monica, CA The Raising Happiness Home Study is perfect for you if… You appreciate Christine Carter’s science-based parenting advice and personal approach. You’re committed first and foremost to your own happiness. You’re ready and willing to do what it takes to be an extraordinary parent, and to find joy in the process. The Raising Happiness Home Study is NOT for you if… You’re not willing to commit an hour a week to study and practice. You’re not willing to make changes to your daily routines, or to cut out activities other people think you should be doing. Investing in this program would be a financial burden for you and your family. If this is the case for you, consider being a Spreading Happiness Ambassador or signing up through the Pay What You Can Plan. Are you ready? Enroll in an amazing journey that will provide tangible benefits for you, your family, and even your workplace — for the rest of your life! --- 07:50 FB-NDG Matt Perelstein Yeah, Terri, I was thinking about you guys yesterday, and had the same thot... it's been awhile waiting, and now the time is almost here, and Yikes! 2 more days. It'll go fine. Do you guys have a recovery plan for him? Are you gonna have to take some time offa work? Is there stuff we/others can do to help you, and him? WE LOVE YOU, hang in there! 5 minutes ago · Like - Matt Perelstein Hey Shannon, thanks for sharing, and reaching out! I'm sorry for all you're going thru with your fam. a. It's not you, it's them, so some of this is not your problem, it's theirs. b. I'm sure glad you have high EQ, so you can handle these situations better (I'm sure your witnessing first hand, what low EQ looks/feels like, ey?). c. I'm glad you know yourself so well, so you know what you need, and how to heal. You may also be an introvert who gets more energy while alone, so you can store up and be around others. Make some alone time. d. When you are alone, don't forget to let yourself cry, and maybe anger, too. You've gone thru a ton of emotion lately. e. You're a strong lady, and you'll get thru this! f. You are loved and supported. rock on... and let us know how it goes. - Matt Perelstein Hey Gay, good question (Say Hey to Doc for us, please). I agree with what's been said here, and it's cool to think that trust is outside of us, while acceptance is inside of us. Gives us more control. Good to know. For me, like Doc, I'll probably trust 3 or 4 times, then reality sets in and I have to 'accept' that they may want to keep their word, and they may intend 100% to keep their word, and they may even Promise to keep their word... but somehow they can't, or won't, or whatever (doesn't really matter why, I just try to give them the benefit of the doubt). As soon as he says, I'll be there to pick you up, I reply, 'sounds good' (which is true), but I'd have an alternate means to get home (or not go). Thanks for sharing. Let us know what you figure out. - Matt Perelstein Hi Megan... how'z your little family doing now?!? All ok? Glad to be a bit lighter? Nice to hold that little bundle?? --- Matt Perelstein Hi Megan... how'z your little family doing now?!? All ok? Glad to be a bit lighter? Nice to hold that little bundle?? What's his temperament like (he looks very peaceful in this pic, but we're all pretty peaceful while sleeping)... how'z he awake? Best wishes with it all! a few seconds ago · Edited · Like Matt Perelstein Grandma Lourie, how are you doing with all this?! --- Hannes Piek commented on Boston: My 12-y-old son asked, "Why would someone do something like this?" How do I answer? Bad stuff happens to good people too - a fact. Why? ... because it is the nature of badness. How do we deal with this in future, or prevent this from happening again, and again .... You cannot. However, you may re-interpret the statement into something more positive. Just as the person who built his house on the sand whilst another built it on the Rock. The storm came in any case because that is what storms do, and washed the house built on sand away, whilst the one built on rock withstood all. It is the nature of badness. I think that one has to be careful not to fall in the trap of being too humane/humanistic. We all have our dark side to our personality - try take something which a person values dearly and see what happens. I reckon you will regret your action(s). However, it is the way we are brought up which will allow the dark side to step forward. Maybe it was done out of retaliation because we did something which was experienced as bad to the recipient. We call this derailment, and we all have this dark side - take some of the Executives of Enron for instance. Some committed suicide for the evil they did and did not wish to spend time in jail whilst others went to jail, but ... their acts started the economic smelt down, after which others followed which created a critical mass! It seems to me, from the outside looking in, that there is an ostrich-syndrome prevalent. It takes courage to take head out of sand and look reality squarely in the eye and own up. From an EI-perspective, I cannot profess not to do evil if I now what evil is. I have to stick my own hand in own bosom and do the right thing for the correct reasons the first time. It is probably necessary to accept that good and evil are opposite sides of the same coin. If you feed the dark side, it will always prevail. The inverse is also true. less… --- OK, we're at 44,998!! Would anyone care to take April 16, as a remote possibility of hitting 45k?!? --- 08:32 go, to bus --- here thx to LK, Doc, Val --- today, lunch with Maryam tomorrow, dinner with Ursula thurs, home >> call with LJ >> call with DanW (next week) >> May 17, Giants game with Ursula - 1:30 lunch reservations(!) with Maryam Webster Plouf 40 Belden Place San Francisco, CA 94104 (415) 986-6491 (near subway that Youde and I went to, by old office) Very nice! --- Wheels for Wishes 866-376-3822 --- 12:12 Hey Dan, thanks for the meeting requests, but they're not going thru properly for me (see below).. but YES, I accept your invite. I'll call you tomorrow, Wednesday morning, 10am your time! - Matt --- 12:24 YES! Thanks for the encouragement, Val (I love that!). I like your addition too, and will add it. I realized I could continue to update this document indefinitely, but I had to get it out, too, even without being 'perfect'. (I've thot of 5+ things to add already) Dan's awesome (did you watch his video... it's really well done... and brave, esp. for the business market!). He mentioned something about possibly 'working together', so I'm not sure if we're talking about us 'hiring' him, or partnering, or what. We met on the LinkedIn EQ group... he posts cool stuff often, I've read some, went to his site and then just wrote to him... and it seems he's been following me, too. I got some other nice feedback on this document (from Doc, and Josh with 6 Sec, etc.), including from Dan, so we have an hour appt to talk tomorrow morning (Yeehaa!), so I'll let you know how it goes... Whether anything comes from a relationship with Dan or not, it was great to have him pictured in my head while writing that, so I could add my own Edgy-ness to it. There's so much more to do, but this feels like authentic "me" and it's a good start, getting everything down in one place. stay tuned for more! - Matt p.s. - at least working with me ain't dull, ey?!? --- beh*hav*iour Canadian, U.K. spelling of behavior synonym: performance(!) --- Euc Testimonial Thanks so much! A couple weeks ago I bought a combo pack and my Gliders went just crazy over the leaves and branches. At first I was slightly worried because of some spots on some of the leaves but your instructions that were included were comforting and I felt at ease giving them to my Gliders. Navigating your site and getting to know the history of Eucs and learning the benefits of the Eucs was great. The smell is fantastic! And my Gliders thank you. I look forward to future business. Melissa --- Woohoo! Way to go, Ian! Will you be able to get any feedback from the show? Do you think I'll should write a proposal to Mark, as well? Congrats. See you 'round. - Matt p.s. - FYI: my 'save the world with EQ' manifesto that I finished this weekend is attached. -------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: KQED Perspectives From: "Austin, Ian" Date: Tue, April 16, 2013 4:31 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Matt - My “oil palm perspective” is airing tomorrow morning on KQED Radio: (88.5 FM) Perspective Airs on KQED Public Radio every weekday morning at 6:06am, 7:35am and 11:30pm and weekends at 7:36am and 8:36am Ian __________________________ Ian Austin, PhD, PE Vice President, Marine Services Post Montgomery Center, One Montgomery Street, Suite 900 San Francisco, CA 94104-4538 Direct: 415-243-3786 From: Mark Trautwein [mailto:MTrautwein@KQED.org] Sent: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 1:02 PM To: Austin, Ian Subject: Perspectives Hi Ian Sorry I missed you this morning. I’m going to air the piece tomorrow, Wednesday, at the usual times with a weekend repeat the following Sunday at 7:37 am. Thanks very much. Mark Trautwein Editor, Perspectives, NPR 415.553.2108 --- Well I had the most amazing lunch with the fabulously emotionally intelligent Matt Perelstein in Belden Place, the most European allee in San San Francisco, and forgot to take a pic of us. Here's one of me, and one of the last you'll see of me with braces - they come off Thursday!!! That was great fun, Maryam? -- thanks for making this happen!! We have a LOT in common, and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing the many dif. ways we have for helping people heal. Take care and let's stay in touch... our paths are quite similar (and you are an awesome lady)! --- worked late on Access -> Excel report for Jim 7:05 out! walked to Trader Joe's then to car on Lucky Dr. accident on freeway about 1/2 hour to get home from Lucky Dr. talked to PR much of the way. 9:28 bandcamp! --- Maryam, good contact. follow up! 'do' something together --- lost a subscriber --- Is any way to cure depression natural way? I have some suggestions for a low mood. . .I recommend only professional medical treatment for a diagnosis of clinical depression. While taking a vitamin D3 supplement for another reason, I noticed a lift in my mood. Smaller and more frequent meals or snacks with protein to keep my blood sugar more level also seem to help. Things like intentionally moving or exposing myself to sunlight also help. Sometimes making sure that I am comfortably warm helps. Sometimes I eat lighter, nourishing foods and go to bed earlier. . .I guess that the cure has to fit the ailment. Sometimes if I am sad with no apparent reason, there is some underlying physical problem, like a vague headache or other pain or or a viral infection, or something like that. If I tend to what is physically dragging me down, I almost always feel markedly more happy. Physical ailments need physical cures. I practice intentional optimism, which helps. Conscious and specific gratitude, volunteering, and creative outlets are also great ways to reboot my mood. Sometimes I practice retail therapy, in which I visit establishments where people are paid to say nice things to me. Sometimes I watch a horror film, not my preferred genre, to cleanse my emotional palette. I have told that the mechanism for that is the release of ?endorphins?dopamine?seratonin? Silly movies also work. I try to resist the impulse to isolate when I feel low, making myself go to casual social events. Being in new places where my senses are stimulated with beautiful sights, sounds, tastes, and scents helps. Sometimes I let myself feel sad briefly, if something upsetting occurs, with the understanding that I will not let myself dwell on it the next day. I work to be a "what now?" person, instead of a "why me?" person. Then, I actively do the next "what now?". I welcome learning what works for others. --- ND Staff Thanks Linda, and HI all! I don't have anything brilliant to say, except Hi, and I'm looking forward to seeing ya'll in a month. We've got some good interest in this class, and I heard last night that Miles will be assisting (yay!). Of course, we all wish Patrick the best for his big surgery this week! Take care and let us know () how you're doing and if you need anything to make your job easier/better. - Matt --- Maryam FB-IM So, yeah, that was Great fun today... so sorry I had to run (grrr). Been thinking about our talk all day, and it sure seems like our skills complement each other... and I'll bet you're a heckuva good coach! I like how you had 'steps', specific instructions for healing/re-arranging/moving things around! Once people get over that Emotional/Personal Responsibility hurdle, the sky's the limit... maybe we come up with a 'program' together where people can do some serious healing in a very short time... combining our emotional processing, with your healing processes. Like a 30-day/90-day/6-month powerful program of coaching, journaling, in-person at the workshop, as well as online and by phone... to make huge strides in a short time... whatchathink? Do you remember the old Lifeville that coach T and Andrea were just getting started on? Andrea and I were in talks about me running it for them when Thomas suddenly died (so sad... he's still in my top 3 biggest mentors). I can STILL imagine that same concept working well... solution-based marketing... with a similar income model as Coachville's. 2GetHelp.com: Where People Go 2GetHelp with their Lives! here's my Big Plan to change the world with EQ. Let me know your thots, when you get a chance. ('thots', and 'behaviours': 2 more things I 'got' from Coach T) ~EQ_with_Matt_Perelstein.txt I wrote that document at the request of http://danwaldschmidt.com/?home=video. Check it out. I have an hour phone call scheduled with him in the morning tomorrow before work. I'm excited... I'll let you know how it goes! --- Members (45,003) (send via LI, Connect msg) Hi Debra, (Jones) I'm a moderator on The Emotional Intelligence Network, and YOU are the lucky winner today... member #45,000... Congrats! You will receive a copy of Joshua Freedman's book "At the Heart of Leadership". Congrats again, and welcome to the group! - Matt Perelstein --- Closure: LI-EIN is at 45,003!! --- 11:04 --- sounds good, Elena! I've been working outta town lately, so I cut and pack orders on Sundays, and ship on Mondays. Thanks for the order. (just to be sure, how did you calculate the $13.48?) I'll print out a page of labels (10x) and 10 of your instruction sheets... so we gotta get you at least 9 more sales!! Thanks again.. i will send them some beauties! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Euc Products customer order From: Elena Kern Date: Tue, April 16, 2013 7:51 pm To: Matt Perelstein Hey there, Got the order from my customer. Attached is the label you sent me with my info and the print out for the box. I sent the money Via Paypal to matt@2gethelp.com... $13.48... Order is for: 1/2-pound of Eucalyptus Chew Sticks 10-20 small sticks and few thicker sticks, with leaves. Gliders love to carry them around! Shipping to: R. newcomer 1233 4th Street La Salle, IL 61301 Thank You! --- >> Thursday at 7pm LF Series Call --- review D=R and incorporate into EQ4All ,sent to: Ian Austin Maryam Webster --- 11:30 snooz-ola Big day tomorrow (danW call)! alarm 0500 --- We cannot gain a sense of power in our lives while identifying ourselves as a victim. --- >> write to Josh about approving good articles! --- 4.17 05:30 up make bed find NPR to listen to Ian on Perspectives. 05:48 Sarah B. Hi sweetie! Haven't seen you for awhile, and just thot I'd say Hi... so Hi! Love you muchly! - OG --- Yes, I agree. I ride the ferry most days from Marin into the city, with 500 other people, sitting (or standing) about 1 foot apart, for half-an-hour, and you know how many conversations there are going on? Zero, zippo, nada! Not even a smile, a nod, or even eye contact... none. And these are folks from Marin... not BART, not homeless beggars, they/we are certainly not 'dangerous' in any way. It's bizarre (and sad). --- 05:59 Maryam Webster Oh wow, loads of great ideas! Can I just say what a *treat* it was meeting you Matt? You give me faith that there are other men out there with EQ just when I had begun to wonder. Really appreciate that! Building emotional healing coaching program - yes, VERY intriguing! And Lifeville, I'm fairly sure that's where I remember your name from. T and I were taking up where he left off with Tom Stone's energy work and coaching mashup after they'd had some sort of falling out. I taught my very first Energy Coaching class "Coaching The Invisible" at T's request, then just a few months later, he was gone. That"s how I ended up doing my own certification. Suggest if you can shoehorn the time we get together and give each other samples of what we each do, so we have a better idea of where the crossover exists. Nothing like the visceral experience, right? Good luck with your phone call to Dan, look forward to hearing about it - fingers crossed for you! Will read paper et. al. tomorrow, just turning in. So lovely to have made this longest of long tail delayed connections Matt. Here's to brilliant collaborations!! :) Great idea to give samples to each other -- let's make that happen! When are you coming back into the city?? You're a gem. (when do you get your braces off?! I wanna help you celebrate another physical milestone you have achieved!) --- NPR http://www.kqed.org/radio/listen/ --- Boston killed 3, 130 injured 8yo, Chinese man, asked to be anonymous, graduates --- Lisa Skrzypek Rosier HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Robin was braggin' on you last week (when we had lunch for my birthday!) and so I watched some of your videos the other day, and... damn... you're doing great. I'm super proud of you! You've made success outta nothing at all... and you made a Beautiful family outta nothing at all... and you rock, in general, so yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweetie. Enjoy your success (I know you already do, but wow.)! --- Denis Coleman, brain research Dan Waldschmidt, adding EQ to biz planning, doing --- 06:33 Christine Marcombe commented on * CONTEST TIME * Our wonderful group is now at 44,818 members. On what date do you think we will reach 45,000 members? Thank you! And Bravo! This was a really fun exercise, and I'm looking forward to reading that book. Thanks for the initiative, Matt. You rock! ;-) --- PKP Hi Honey, You might say that some people do have serious issues and some people go to class to have a better understanding of their conscious and unconscious beliefs and meanings. If we truely want to be at choice about feelings than we have to understand what programing is in play. Hope this helps love you PKP --- Ian Austin on NPR Perspectives back home a miliion acres jarring reminder environmental engineer conversations outrageous success --- DanW I like the "W" logo on tv, announcing apps for women Top 5 Apps Every Woman Needs are they your apps? personal video on EDGY, watched several times recently married? cleaned up, ties and that... what's up with that? I'm doing the opposite. I work in huge offices, interview for countless jobs, and I haven't worn a tie (exc. once to a team interview for the State for a $1million contract... which we won!). get some hair women would rule the world what do you do, really? how big is your company? how do you have time to write all those articles? is it working? NDW/testimonials NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/ Business Strategist article tells of a problem background, examples build the feeling up about that problem then your services are the solution. feelings awry 0700 DanW call NA, LM the dif. between success and failure marketing genuious balancing act comfortable move in this direction can't give it away for free I don't think it's gonna work haven't invested into look a nugget to hit who pay are invested what to do don't give away anything if you're looking for results bad move. could sell if you're going for people, 3 things solve a prob satisfy need stop a pain you can't make money attach EQ stop saying EQ can be good premise I'm sending you a life intentional those who get it, get it, those who don't, don't bipolar, John Randolph, cured himself of schizophrenia I'm being bipolar right now. implore that be some additional insights if selling to businesses, like 6 sec better managers are you a training company yes, EQ can help in every area of business if all to everybody, you're no sales training sales enablment, sales effectiveness thinking like a biz guy strategist sell higher learning passionate about it that extra spark, check that box EDGY extreme, disciplined, human after thousands of how brains work, we now know. see electrical impulses fire in the brain while they're happening. 3/10's of a second firing to feel if you feel better, you'll do better. part hype, but no scientific evidence games $10, control with your brain band around forehead, think a ball to move, and it moves it's not hypothesis, anymore if help businesses billion dollar co's focussed results Malcolm Gladwell, connects common sense/observational science with curtural patterns FedEx 25% higher retention, saved $M/yr 95% dif betw. good and bad leader has to be EQ books, experts, speakers which means that... by teaching our leaders how to better lead reduce empl turnover further incentivize sales growth eliminate waste of hiring and training new employees combine with what you're doing with what I'm doing get in their heads and shake them up connect it back to really valuable connect to business insights don't automatically figure it out. had to go thru a suicide attempt how to make what is Radical, and make it Relatable oh shit, you're right have you ever noticed... observational awareness jump into this... group, coming because offer some classes, training, workshops to your group lifestyle, self-sustaining sustainable package that is what we have, but it's all we have don't want to embarrass people maybe with other managers more than just talk about it make it personal for these guys ideas for doing that. make it personal coaching classes as followup after progress in classroom, retain it truenorth 50 people, $900 for 3 days savvy in delivering big message or it won't be successful marketing polarizes people polarize, becomes memorable fine line between kookie and wierd hard to tell someone how to do their business got a built-in community adapt this for business struggle Vicky, GM 4x to put together a curriculum for them stratgies, processes, tools, connections how to do it, don't just finish, they're part of a community wanna use their money harmony, betw. ups and downs of biz life and personal life communicating that in clear ways, is of value I tell execs, here's what you need to do. being late makes you panic, now thinking illogically needs to be the other way around. religion, Karl Marx, the opiate of the people Masters in seminary I live in the self, too. bless your heart, I'm ok and you're ok, as long as you go to church. give them value they deserve Business and Professional life silly proposition I see stupid people hateful, dark spot, won't understand each other people who are looking for help they're looking for a path Radical -> Relatable help, not anything else if you're not physically fit, emotionally fit, financially fit if you can't save, you won't be able to succeed. unplug from that system (that you made for yourself) and do something different we know that what counterbalances fear is activity hitting, cursing, running, exercise make better decisions, go running, to think clearly constantly connecting it back my craft is what I do, what I love mama bird, who regurgitates it to baby birds, to be nurtured by it take it all and make it Relatable hypocampus stores geospacial info about memories retrieve memories based on where you are. actively finds memories where they are. can train customers to hate you. if every time they come, they don't know why. food, lighting, sound, training them to feel better I like this! cookies, warm, nice colors did studies on blind people! tells them where they're at based on I like what you're doing, I'm willing to help book coming out happy to help you are 6 Seconds is brilliant, once you understand bundling it recovering from attempted suicide 25, had $50M, wife is leaving, you're never home never learned at being a good husband preg with someone else's baby more than a kick in the balls Washington, 'boy genius', part of life that's completely outta my control cry for hours assistant, come tell me about a meeting therapist, helping find/create me biz card, 3 steps to recovery triggered, for instance, when things outta control triggered, irrational take this biz care Recognizing that I am triggered I am feelings... 5-6 steps I was so broken, I wanted to be healed I was gonna kill myself, the only way to stop feeling pain was to shoot msyef I can help the pain go away. take card out, in a meeting, do steps in my head take 30 sec to be untriggered. touch my wallet untriggered “GPS for the Soul” 30 sec, then 15, 10, then 5, 2 34 now carried card for 8 years that story's not being told on 6 sec. conclusion, like I say in my book divorce, bad juju everywhere, sold business changed my perspective helped me make more money now made me a better athlete, as a runner ---------- mcp ------------ every moment I persist, I make a choice to persist wife, still together I became more Em. Int. she had had dark days of how she'd been treated never addressed and repressed. so that after 4 years of writing book still together not to bragg, or gloat. brings a tear to my eye. things are better, but still PTSD. days you feel like you're not healing I get it. encourage you, if you wanna help people what's the plan, the curriculum community online connect group, offer classess add value Heart Smarts can't explain EQ to everybody can't reach everyone so scale it so people can receive it rebrand it have core principles apply to everyday life HeartSmart not all wounds are visible apply core tenants find jobs college degrees College Guide to Heart Smarts HR guide to... Career planning on HS --- painful and tragic, learn from, next year, bigger and better Psych mind, conscious and unconscious reactions 15 seconds reminds of the fragility of life if terrorists don't get us, something will the idea of our own death predicable psychological reaction deny vulnerability find ways to discount big and small reasons why we are safe. Tuscon, last place leaders re-assert sense of control increase vigilence after linger it's of mortality COFF__ probability to answer more morbidly close to consciousness us vs. them defensive of belief systems more together talk belief systems polorized first closer, lasted a bit, then dispersed Boston is a reminder, death is coming, there's no way around it. Embrace it. seriously, after the DanW paper, I'm good to go. I love my kids, life, wife, family, home but I told them all. and proudly, showed them all! I have asserted my premise that EQ can/will change/save the world. ... and I'm good to go. (we'll see how deep my conviction is, when the time comes, right?) --- the kids say, "riiiight?! it's not really a question... a connection agreement somewhat a question an attitude --- 08:09 Ian BOOM. It's out there! I listened to the 0606 show. Well done. Clear, compelling, easy to listen to/understand. (can I have a copy?) I liked: 'back home...' exercise my power as a consumer a million acres, a Million acres... a jarring reminder well done, sir. well done. - Matt --- 08:54 out to 9:15 ferry nope made it on time 09:11 but couldnt'find a parking spot. drove round, against 2 1-ways I'm coming to grips with reality, and telling people now that i only ship on Mondays. sorry. can't be helped. but got 0 orders in last 3 days --- Dan W IQ + EQ = EDGY!! Some of it is IQ: knowledge, business side, technology, corporation some of it is EQ: heart, drive, connection, love If you're serious about this, then let's get serious about this. can't do it there, they gotta come here. we're just real people, not rich people, some not that successful. we don't dress up, we ask women not to wear makeup, and we get down, and get funky. you don't have to go into detail about what happened. Nobody needs to know the gory stuff... unless you wanna tell it... and it's oh so healing to tell it, to someone, sometime, safe, loving people, who genuinely care. We call it Instant Intimacy. our assistants who come back, some for 20+ years, are quick to intimacy... they know how to move their walls, and can let you in, to the max, quickly and painlessly... or not. We learn to open, and to close, our hearts (it's an Awesome skill to have!). Choose to push boundaries Choose to push yourself. Help people get to EDGY Combine your good business knowledge with the heart of being EDGY, and you'll have an unstoppable combination. We have the head going pretty well. but our heart is alone, reactionary and uneducated. There's a simple language that goes with adding emotions to conversations... and they're in English, and not diffiucult to remember... words like, "oh my" and wow and ouch and I hear you. and thanks. and love. yes, love... yes, in business. add Love to your business, and you're automatically attractive! --- carol and joe everything is shutting down forced coma, so much pain --- MFF Marcie, Ann Paul, Alex, Melissa no, yes include "The Invisible War" Sat. April 27 by 6:30 in eblast? use popcorn machine? --- You're not under review here, any more than anyone else, Anthea! Every posted is moderated by me or Josh, and if people say yucky stuff, or get personal, they get a warning... you've only posted one promo, and it was totally appropriate (and cool!), so you're good! post away. Thanks for joining us in spreading the good news about EQ! - Matt --- 12:24 to ferry --- >> check on Brian Dunbar's subscription (on PP?) not saved in subs --- PP = 3198 Hi Joni, Your check cleared today for your order for a fresh Euc Starter pack -- thanks! I'm outta town working this week, so I'll cut and pack your order at home on Sunday, and ship it out Monday. Any special requests? Thanks again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt www.EucProducts.com --- 6:11 out Pizza Orgazmica wow! massive amounts of food! -$26.26 giants lost to a walk-off HR 2 blocks around DT SR --- 9:17 Alex, No, I don't have a key to the locker, so I guess we'll need to meet there. Since it's right near my house, you choose the day/time... Friday or Saturday. Event is at 6:30 Sat. thx. - Matt 916-599-8597 --- 10:43 Peter McManus from LI-EIN Ha. just kidding. you thot I was a gonner, right? got 'cha! :) ...but seriously, I've been thinking about your objections to taking ND, and I do understand where you're coming from! It sounds like you and your family have pretty well got your act together, and have taken it on the road -- Congrats! As leader of your clan, you musta had some training, or really cool parents, or something, right? How'd you make that happen? It doesn't sound like you need the class. We put on a therapeutic workshop that takes folks to the depths of their soul, and it's not for everyone. We introduce people to their inner-child, as you've never 'felt' them before. The goal is to create a partnership, a friendship, a mentorship, where you can actually be there for each other. People report that they felt 'not alone', and 'complete', and The Anger work is partly about releasing pent-up anger from childhood... the stuck feelings can serve as glue to cement in negative belief systems and big, generatlized, negative meanings we put on ourselves (like "i'm not worthy" or "I don't fit in", or I am a victim / powerless. and such. Anger is the great equalizer. The Sadness is about letting go of things/events/resentments/people/regrets/ex-loves/ex-pets/mistakes from the past, that we'd like to put behind us. We've found that sadness and love are similar, as we tend to be saddest about lost loves. And then, of course, there's Fear. We are all afraid, all the time... of something(s)... whether we admit it or not. Since the attacks in Boston, people tend to be made painfully aware of their own mortality... and I don't know Anyone who isn't afraid of that one. But, facing our fears, head on, is one of the bravest, most liberating, freeing, empowering, self-esteem-generating, success-attaining things we can do, IMHO. It was/is for me. Fear is our friend, and can teach as plenty... but heading ALL the warnings our fears tell us (scream at us, sometimes) is still not always the best move. If you're like most, you've had gobs of left-brain training. So, now treat yourself to some right-brain... you will/experience/discover parts of you that you've never met. We are the most loving/accepting/non-judgmental/(fun!)/encouraging bunch ever -- at least that's our main objective and intention! If we fall short, it's not from lack of trying. Since we understand ourselves, we know we can OPEN our hearts to strangers (even strange strangers like yours truly), or not... we call it Instant Intimacy, and it's an awesome EQ skill! People are often so surprised when they realize how many Choices we actually have in life, esp. emotionally. Choices = Freedom, so knowing more right-brain EQ opens new worlds of what possible in relationships/family/friends, etc. have you checked out our testimonials page? I didn't write those, Peter... others did. They liked/loved what they experienced and are/were driven to Share it with the world. pretty cool, I think (and that page is one of the proudest accomplishments in my life, actually!). (we just made the 3 videos that are included there, and we're wanting to do another... and we're thinking about Filming part of this class (with people's permission, of course). I work in downtown San Francisco, and I see a lot of people in pain... either physically or emotionally. I'm sorry, but I can't do much for people's physical pains... not much at all. But I really can help people deal with their emotional pain. We're getting OLD dude, and if nothing else, we're starting to lose family members, even some close ones... and that's one something we're gonna have to learn to deal with more and more. Getting old ain't for wimps, ey? So, frankly, Peter, I don't know exactly what you and your wife can gain from this experience... only you can answer that. (oh, we have a money-back gaurantee too) But, hey, it's intense and all about those yucky feelings (and underlying belief systems - BS), the ones we've spent most of our lives trying NOT to feel, so it's understandable if you'd rather not 'go there'l Let me know your thoughts. My best to you, either way. (your new friend) - Matt --- 10:44 snooze... --- 4.18 06:52 slept in... almost 9 hours... wow. ------------ mcp ------------ “All of our behavior results from the thoughts that preceded it. So the thing to work on is not your behavior but the thing that caused your behavior, your thoughts.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer 'Tis no shame to follow the better precedent. - Ben Johnson -------- mcp -------- There is no one right path to awareness and each of us has our own path that is perfect for us. --- DV http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave.html MFF eblast, 3rd try --- Hi Honey, You might say that some people do have serious issues and some people go to class to have a better understanding of their conscious and unconscious beliefs and meanings. If we truely want to be at choice about feelings than we have to understand what programing is in play. Hope this helps love you PKP --- 07:49 Hey Josh, A few things... 1. I talked to Dan at length again yesterday, and he liked your site... but the first thing he asked, after perusing the site for awhile... was "why is it called '6 seconds'?" When I answered him, he said, "oh, that's great! I couldn't find it on the site... that should be prominent on the Home page". Something like "EQ only takes 6 Seconds", or "Wait 6 Seconds before you React.", or... I agreed, and told him I'd pass it on to you. 2. On the LI-EIN, we had discussed making a subgroup, and I wondering what you thought about making it for EQ 'Articles'... not sales stuff that go on the Promos page... but information/articles from Forbes and NPR, and DanGoleman, and Huffington Post and 6seconds (and FYI: if any 6 sec staff post, or if there's a reference to 6 sec, even if it has a link in it, I 'approve' it, rather than send it to Promotions). There are sooo many good/great ones that are posted, and I gotta shove them into Promotions where no one will see them. Just a thot... whatchathink? 3. Are you going to the Apr. 28 get-together in SF? I'm thinking of coming down a day early for work so I can attend. 4. I guess I kinda fizzled out with our CLO at work. I had asked for help/assistance/guidance for your folks who sell to businesses, but no responses, so I worded emails as best I could. I'd like to make at least one more attempt, but I'd like some guidance from someone with more experience 'pitchin' guys like him. 5. We're now at 45K!! Yay us! How do we award the contest winner with your book, as promised? Thanks! L8R. - Matt --- 07:55 out to ride 08:20 ferry, and maybe see Nick, after his trip to Thailand. home tonight... yay --- !! New Glasses !! hate 'em! but ok, I'll get used to them. "Growing old is not for wimps." "Growing old is a priveledge that not everyone gets!" - Shruti G. --- Josh's article on love. Trait #1. A generosity of spirit. Trait #2. A willingness to see what someone else needs. Trait #3. Doing what it takes to help. "Stress is on the rise. Empathy on the decline." - Josh Freedman --- >> Post EQ4All somewhere reword to take personal notes to Dan out , write to DanW - help with branding - deeper work with EDGY folks --- (Jim has a whole list of attributes to add to IMM!) Yay! wow, measures are a big deal! --- 2 parties today, Samson Lee is leaving IMS (sad, super nice guy and great IT support!) 3pm here, with cake and ice cream 5-7 at Murphy's bar! 7 LF group call (darn) --- 11:29 Yep! sounds good. I'll still need to return it, so I should borrow your keys after, ey? Also, can we/they use our popcorn, oil and bag, too? They can reimburse MFF for them. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Storage Locker From: Alex Fields Date: Thu, April 18, 2013 10:51 am To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, It looks like I will be at the storage locker around noon tomorrow to load in the new programs. Do you want to meet me there to get the popcorn machine? This saves you a trip! Let me know. Alex --- Nice site! http://www.dss.mo.gov/ big links up top in Header goodies in the middle, no Left NAV tons more links, organized in footer --- 2:11 Sent MFF eBlast This email will be sent to 2,295 list members. --- Cool trick (that I just figured out): (!) to get a list of all the URLs currently open, go to Startup -> Use Current, and it puts them all in a list, pipe-delimited. --- 5:58 Please send BIG prayers for Patrick Mccauley?'s surgery today! Terri?, please let us know how it went, and how he's doing, ok? We hope for the best!! --- 6:10 to Samson's going away party at Murphy's. met 4-5x Decision View folks nice --- 7:12 back here to work on LF call with Rebekah and Michael 7:26 out, to home. 8:10 ferry --- missed Trader Joe's. mgr's a grump. 9:49 FB-EIN The way to block terrorism: Use tragedy as a time for empathy, and transform their brutality into compassion. (Josh) Matt Perelstein I heard a psychologist speak on NPR yesterday saying that 911 really brought people together... for a few months... and then we scattered... trusting even less and fearing more. It's been interesting how the Boston investigation is so different in how Open it is. Ever seen the FBI ask for leads/help before?!? It's cool how people are jumping in to help out. I wonder if there's a way to have the fear bring us closer together, rather than farther apart. That would sure be EQ in action! Any thots? --- 10:07 Terri L McCauley My eyes are full of tears. It is nice to have a place where I can safely share my feelings. I am scared. The Surgeon was very thorough.he is going to remove Patrick's saliva gland and lymph noids on his left side. He will cut him from his earlobe almost to his chin. He will permanently loose feeling in his earlobe. He will be in the hospital for 2-3 days. There will be a drain tube for 5 days. They will do a biopsy on his lymph noids. Then decide if he needs radiation or chemotherapy.his surgery will be at Clovis community hospital. Waiting for surgery to be scheduled. I will keep you posted. 10 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1 Matt Perelstein yowzers, Terri... I'll bet you are scared! (I'm scared for you guys, too) Cutting his face open... omg. Good thing he's such a tough cookie, and you guys have super-high EQ, so you'll get thru this... scared or otherwise. wow. not sure what else to say except we'll sure keep a good thot and prayer for him, and you, and everyone effected. Please feel free to share as much, or whenever, you want, or need to, ok? Fear can push people apart... so I hope you guys are hangin' on to each other, now, more than ever. --- 4.19 04:05 Hey Dan, (and Josh) Good to chat with you the other day! You're awesome. So here's how I think we should followup after our conversation: 1. You're right, we need EQ to be branded better... or stronger. Many now know what 'EQ' means, but most still don't. I'd guess that 1/4 - 1/2 of folks have heard of Emotional Intelligence... so what do we call it? As I mentioned, we need a short, catchy tag line that's memorable, explains EQ a bit, and gives a feeling of power, all at once. I like Heart Smart -- "We learn how to be Head Smart in school (IQ), but we don't learn how be smart with our heart, to manage our emotions effectively, to create the relationships we want (and need), or to be as effective and successful as we can be." 2. I can envision working our ND emotional breakthrough work in with customers who are truly motivated to becoming EDGY! As you said, being EDGY is not just EQ... it's about melding IQ with EQ... and we can help in that department! We're super-good at getting people to bust thru the limits they've set on their emotions, and OPEN their heart to the bounds of happiness and joy. We could work in 6 Seconds' assessment and competencies, as well. How about offering your folks a complete personal & professional rejuvination program to open their mind, their heart, their business and their success to EDGY-ness?! FYI: see also #1 below, to/from Josh. Your thots? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Guidance, please... From: Joshua Freedman Date: Thu, April 18, 2013 9:16 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hi Matt! A few things... 1. I talked to Dan W again yesterday, and he liked your site... but the first thing he asked, after perusing the site for awhile... was "why is it called '6 seconds'?" When I answered him, he said, "oh, that's great! I couldn't find it on the site... that should be prominent on the Home page". Something like "EQ only takes 6 Seconds", or "Wait 6 Seconds before you React.", or... I agreed, and told him I'd pass it on to you. Thank you - good idea! We're working on some refresh of site. One of our consultants found out I'd been on TODAY and we've been in O Magazine and they couldn't believe those were not on the home page... :) 2. On the LI-EIN, we had discussed making a subgroup, and I wondering what you thought about making it for EQ 'Articles'... not sales stuff that go on the Promos page... but information/articles from Forbes and NPR, and DanGoleman, and Huffington Post and 6seconds (and FYI: if any 6 sec staff post, or if there's a reference to 6 sec, even if it has a link in it, I 'approve' it, rather than send it to Promotions). There are sooo many good/great ones that are posted, and I gotta shove them into Promotions where no one will see them. Just a thot... whatchathink? I love the idea - and: If people post to the main group, there is no way to "approve to subgroup" -- meaning, either we'd need to re-post in subgroup, or "train" people to post in subgroup. I asked LI if we could rename the "tabs" which would be super-smart... but no love. Anyway, I'm totally game to try it, but I'm not sure how well it will actually work. "Emotional Intelligence Library" ? 3. Are you going to the Apr. 28 get-together in SF? I'm thinking of coming down a day early for work so I can attend. Yes - I'm planning on it! 4. I guess I kinda fizzled out with our CLO at work. I had asked for help/assistance/guidance from your folks who sell to businesses, but no responses, so I worded emails as best I could. I'd like to make at least one more attempt, but I'd like some guidance from someone with more experience 'pitchin' guys like him. It's hard to keep their attention (C___'s) -- want to try this? "I reached out to the very top expert I know, and he said he'd be happy to talk with you directly. This is a guy who leads projects at places like FedEx and the UN -- he also said he'd be happy to send you a copy of one of his books. But he's off to Europe on May 4, so do you have time next week?" 5. We're now at 45K!! Yay us! How do we award the contest winner with your book, as promised? Wahoo! Do you know who won? We just need her/his name & address, and I can sign and ask Jenny to send. Thanks! Thank you Matt! You rock! :) L8R. - Matt --- 04:07 FANTASTIC -- I thot it was going to be months away! I won't be able to play until Friday (a week from today!), so Brandi (and others) we have a date, yes?!? Woohoo! --- "Accept your genius and say what you think." - Ralph Waldo Emerson he does not believe who does not live according to his belief. - NDW An important part of our culture, our elderly, are almost always undervalued and underutilized - for they have much to offer. Success demands a certain percentage of failure. When it happens, shrug it off, think of the positives and go forward. Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things. - Lawrence D. Bell --- Links Stress is Killing Me! Time for Emotional Intelligence? http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/12/stress-health-emotional-intelligence/ Emotional quotient eclipses intelligence quotient(!) http://www.deccanherald.com/content/326566/emotional-quotient-eclipses-intelligence-quotient.html Lessons from the “Eat Pray Love” Movie http://www.humanext.com/humanext-photos.html 13 Examples Of People Being Awesome After The Attack On The Boston Marathon http://www.businessinsider.com/inspiring-images-from-boston-2013-4 What’s Your EQ? How to Foster an Emotionally Intelligent Culture http://www.openforum.com/articles/fostering-an-emotionally-intelligent-culture/ How To Be Seen As A Leader - At Any Point In Your Career http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2012/11/14/how-to-be-seen-as-a-leader-at-any-point-in-your-career/ Language Learning and Empathy http://www.strategiesinlanguagelearning.com/language-learning-and-empathy/ Six Habits of Highly Empathic People http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1 Ian Austin's blog Borneo Oil Palm Plantations: Contributing to the Demise of Bio-diversity http://jeepneyprojects.org/2013/04/borneo-oil-palm-plantations-contributing-to-the-demise-of-bio-diversity/ SOMETIMES YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH TIME. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/04/attitude/sometimes-you-dont-get-enough-time Building Leadership Skills – A “Novel” Approach http://donmcalister.com/2013/04/17/building-leadership-skills-a-novel-approach/ THE CRITIC, THE MOUSEKETEER, AND THE IRON LADY: THREE GIANTS IN PERSONAL BRANDING http://www.fastcompany.com/3008071/critic-mouseketeer-and-iron-lady-three-giants-personal-branding The 6 Keys To Being Awesome At Everything http://www.businessinsider.com/the-6-keys-to-being-awesome-at-everything-2010-11?op=1 This is your brain on music http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/15/health/brain-music-research/index.html 2 People Described The Same Person To A Forensic Artist And This Is What Happened http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?c=ufb1 WHY YOU CAN’T CHANGE AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/04/business/why-you-cant-change-and-what-to-do-about-it The Most Loyal Fans in Basketball http://www.forbes.com/sites/marketshare/2013/04/16/19766/ Heat #1, Kings #28 How to Turn Fear to Your Advantage http://latinbusinesstoday.com/2013/04/how-to-turn-fear-to-your-advantage/ MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) Case Study 2 http://www.burrisinstitute.com/life-coach/studies-and-results/major-depressive-disorder-case-study-2 Can Awe Buy You More Time and Happiness? http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_awe_buy_you_more_time_and_happiness Boosting Emotional Intelligence and Self-Motivation http://www.raisinghappiness.com/class/online-class-theme-four/ (!)Raising Happiness Homestudy The Full Raising Happiness Course($99) http://www.raisinghappiness.com/class/raising-happiness-home-study/ (!)ROUTE 24 ? COMMUTE BUS ROUTE http://goldengatetransit.org/schedules/current/route_24.php NPR Perspectives http://www.kqed.org/radio/programs/perspectives/ (!)Success Stories Read / Listen / Watch ND grads talk about their experiences before, during and (especially) after the workshop! http:/// Pornography makes up 25% of all search engine requests, and is the fourth most common reason for going on the Internet. http://mashable.com/2013/02/20/addicted-to-porn/ Your brain in Love(!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDMwpVUhxAo Brain use, slow thinking and fast thinking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiTz2i4VHFw --- 04:48 out (finally....latest ever) oh well... it's ok. oh, and Racquetball NEXT Friday! --- 09:39 *2006# 11:30 --- 11:14 Heck yeah, Dan! Let's do our same call time at 10AM EST on Tuesday. Josh, can you join us, too? I have a conference line we can use. - Mattt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Guidance, please... From: "Dan Waldschmidt (202-630-6730)" Date: Fri, April 19, 2013 6:01 am To: Matt Perelstein Cc: Joshua Freedman , Vicky Hammond Let's do a call this coming wek to discuss possible answers to your questions. You have a few options that good for you. You just need some clear direction and an action plan. Say Tuesday morning? Dan Waldschmidt 202-630-6730 --- 11:21 Well, you can either do $1/mo. for 10,000 months (833.33 years) OR if you're willing to do it all up front, I can reduce that slightly for a 5-footer to: 20 bucks for the branch, and 20 bucks postage ---- $40. how'z that sound? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus Perches From: Yolanda Date: Fri, April 19, 2013 7:08 am To: matt@2gethelp.com On 4/18/2013 6:12 PM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: $10,000! (just kidding.) How thick, Yolanda? - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus Perches From: Yolanda Date: Thu, April 18, 2013 3:26 pm To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Hi, My birds have about demolished the eucalyptus perch I bought 10 years ago. I need a perch probably about 5 ft long. What would be teh cost? LOL!. Do You permit payments of $1.00 per month on the ten grand? :)) between About 1-1/2. Four would be fine too. Thanks! Yolanda --- IMS ---- 11:20-noon MFF locker to pickup popcorn machine and goodies and helped Alex unload 7,000 Take 8 catalogs. IMS --- 1:28 Interesting! Are you asking for you, Val? I'm hearing the need for some anger work here, and I know this other great class that 'specializes' in anger work! Are you averse to joining us (May 17)?? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: from Valerie Fwd: Landmark Forum From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Thu, April 18, 2013 1:39 pm To: matt@2GetHelp.com Hi, Matt. I had a few questions for Landmark (at the bottom). Her response is on top. Anger work too vague...and just can't see 80 to 200 people... .v. From: jandm@landmarkeducation.net To: cd33333@aol.com Sent: 4/18/2013 5:55:47 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time Subj: RE: Checking in with you Dear Valerie, Thank you for your interest in the Landmark Forum and Landmark Education. Courses are from 80 to 200 people and yes there is on Landmark Forum Leader. There is a team of assistants who are there to serve the participants. The interactions, however, are between the leader and the room, with sharing and interactions in front of the room. The power is in the design.....conversations where you can discover things for yourself. Anger per se is not a "topic." Nonetheless, what many people find is that years of resentment and withheld love drop away in the Landmark Forum. Let me know if you have other questions. Jump in! It is the best gift I ever gave myself. Best regards, Margot From: cd33333@aol.com [cd33333@aol.com] Sent: Thursday, April 11, 2013 3:13 PM To: jandm Subject: Re: Checking in with you Sounds like you have a really good program. I am familiar will several others which I think are similar going deeply--getting to core beliefs, etc. I have a few questions for you, if you be so kind. No rush to get back to me. I would like to know the average size of your classes. What is your maximum? And, if you have an assistant team, how many assistants are there or is there a ratio between students and assistants? I believe you have one instructor in the class, right? How deeply do you get into anger work? Thank you, Valerie Gemanis Los Osos CA --- 1:34 LI-EIN msg to Christine Marcombe re: CONTEST WINNER! Hi Christine. Congrats on winning our contest on LI-EIN! I don't know how the heck you knew the correct date... it's uncany, I tell ya! LOL! Anyway, we owe you a book... could I get your mailing address, please? Enjoy, and thanks for Playin' with us. EQRocks! - Matt You are no longer authorized to message this member. --- PP = 3203 --- 3:01 Josh over to ride --- LI-IM Got it -- thanks! It's not my book, it's Josh's, and it's excellent. I see you run your own company, so it should be perfect for you. Let us know how it goes. Take care! - Matt On 04/19/13 1:40 PM, Christine Marcombe wrote: -------------------- Hi Matt, I had initially picked the 15th, but I was around at the right moment when you asked for someone to pick the 16th. I deal a great deal with my intuition/emotion vibes in everyday life. And I'd be delighted to read your book. Thank you! Here is my address: Christine Marcombe 703-354, Gladstone Avenue Ottawa, Ontario K2P 0R4 Canada Love your group! Best wishes, Christine --- 3:24 LOL!!! I see (and I totally agree with you!) As you know, saving the world is one of my big interests, too! (I try to find better things to do, but I just keep coming back to this one nagging problem :) So, thanks for putting us so high on your list. I was thinking while I was driving back from SF this morning... what you think about you and I leading a class together?? You're mobile, and I'm mobile... let's go! whatchathink? thanks for joining in on our little 'project' (saving the world!) - Me -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: from Valerie Fwd: Landmark Forum From: CD33333@aol.com Date: Fri, April 19, 2013 3:10 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com The biggest lack in our mental health system is anger work. We are letting people down in our society by not figuring this piece out on a national level. Other than New Directions and possibly the program that UYO morphed into, there is not much else out there. I want to be on top of things and to be able to recommend what I think will work. Tops on my list best used in combo or one at a time: AA (any 12-step, using or not) New Directions Individual therapy The Family Nurturing Programs I firmly believe that if anyone will available themselves to these programs, they could improve EVERY area of their lives. The other things available, like Landmark, are better than nothing, but not as powerful as New Directions...to me, that is mainly because of lack of good anger work. Those that say, "We'll do that if the student says that's what they want," is bull. VERY FEW people want to do anger work when they don't even know what it is or that it can be totally safe. So, leaving it loosely up to participants doesn't cut it...at least not enough for me to actually recommend it. So, there's my interest...saving the world. .v. In a message dated 4/19/2013 1:26:30 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, matt@2gethelp.com writes: Interesting! Are you asking for you, Val? I'm hearing the need for some anger work here, and I know this other great class that 'specializes' in anger work! Are you averse to joining us (May 17)?? - Matt --- THE SIMPLE ABC’S OF BEING MORE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY PART OF LIFE. Accomplish more. Get things done. Stop starting and start finishing. Believe more. Know in your soul that you are strong enough to conquer the world. Communicate more. Stop assuming anyone understands you. Share what moves you. Delight more. Bring wonder and excitement to the world around. Be unexpected. Effect more. Help others realize for themselves the change they want to achieve. Focus more. Deliberately pause for moments of introspection and inspiration. Give more. Live to love others. Give like you would want to be given to. Help more. Lend a hand even when you need both hands for your own business. Innovate more. Be a creator, a puppet-master, and an artist. Design beauty. Join more. Bring people, ideas, and opportunities together. Be a connector. Kneel more. Humility will take you further than arrogance and blaming others. Learn more. Never be satisfied with what you think you know. Open your mind. Maximize more. Take the resources you have and stretch them to meet your needs. Nurture more. Turn good people into great relationships. Make “people” a priority. Organize more. Build a plan. Put the pieces of your dream together into steps. Pioneer more. Leave a trail. Venture into the unknown. Qualify more. Get better at saying “NO” to good things that aren’t great things for you. Repair more. Fix “people issues” in your life. Fix your finances and your health. Specialize more. Do one thing well instead of doing a dozen things halfway. Test more. Push all the buttons. Twist all the knobs. Come to your own conclusions. Uncover more. Stop looking for skin deep problems and jump into soul issues. Value more. Put a value on your time, your relationships, and your dreams. Win more. Stop losing. Start doing things that add up to quick wins. Xamine more. Be honest about your intentions and motivations. Yell more. Get loud about the things that matter most to you. Zag more. Do the opposite of what everyone else thinks you should be doing. - DanW --- 3:58 Some feedback from glider fans: "My Gliders went just crazy over the leaves and branches." "The smell is fantastic! And my Gliders thank you." "THANK YOU for everything my sugar gliders went nuts over it. " "My gliders loveeeeee it!! l place it so they can crawl under it.. they love to hide in it and play. :)" "Got my order today! Super fast and very generous with the leaves!!! Thanks so much." "We've ordered from you before and have ALWAYS been happy with what you have sent! You are always so generous with the leaves and sizes of the branches! Oh.. and our Gliders LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!! Thanks!! :)" see more... http://www.eucproducts.com/testimonials.html --- MFF Eblast Name Type Launch Date Sent Open Click Bounce Unsub Conv. Revenue They May Never Pass This Way Again Canvas Apr 18, 2013 2:14PM 2,295 27% 3% 0% 0% 0% 0.00 USD --- wash car with new sponge (yay!) 5-5:30 MFF: meet Ann @ the office in Mendo to interview Gaben and __ re: helping with MFF 6- Josh took us to their house in PR's truck PR home from work, shower go 7- Ukiah Home Depot, 3 new doors, only 2 would fit Crush: fancy restaurant for PR/Josh's 4th Anniversary their steak and salmon were excellent salad bar for me (not great) $134.61 PR and I slept whole way home in her back seat midnight home, uload --- 4.20(!) HBtoShawnea 07:55 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Shawnea!! Glad you're still (back) in our lives! You're awesome! --- (pic) 20% increase in stress, 75% decrease in empathy. As stress increases, we become more task focused and reactive. This increases our isolation, which increases our stress even more. Can we learn new ways of responding to exit from this vicious cycle. it's not the number of times you fall down that counts, it's the number of times you get up and keep on trying that counts. - Hilton Johnson Action is the antidote to despair. - Joan Baez (1941 -) The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing. - Michael E. Gerber --- 08:06 30 bucks for the branch and leaves 20 bucks postage (should be about the same) --- $50 Many happy parrot customers! PayPal away to matt@2gethelp.com k? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus Perches From: Yolanda Date: Fri, April 19, 2013 7:28 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com On 4/19/2013 12:20 PM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: Well, you can either do $1/mo. for 10,000 months (833.33 years) OR if you're willing to do it all up front, I can reduce that slightly for a 5-footer to: 20 bucks for the branch, and 20 bucks postage ---- $40. how'z that sound? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus Perches From: Yolanda Date: Fri, April 19, 2013 7:08 am To: matt@2gethelp.com On 4/18/2013 6:12 PM, matt@2gethelp.com wrote: $10,000! (just kidding.) How thick, Yolanda? - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Eucalyptus Perches From: Yolanda Date: Thu, April 18, 2013 3:26 pm To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Hi, My birds have about demolished the eucalyptus perch I bought 10 years ago. I need a perch probably about 5 ft long. What would be teh cost? LOL!. Do You permit payments of $1.00 per month on the ten grand? :)) between About 1-1/2. Four would be fine too. Thanks! Yolanda rofl! So, i want to buy a pound of chewable parts as well. Can parrots have the leaves? I would assume so, since cockatoos are form the land of OZ and they chew everything!. How much would that oincrease the price, and do you utilize paypal? --- Ads on FB FB Lead Search Power Editor now we can drill down and make our ad targets more specific download results of a keyword search, list of UIDs Create Audience, UIDs, choose file, create a campaign then, by Relationship, Interested in, Language, --- 08:38 Matt Perelstein 8:38 AM (0 minutes ago) to Ann Hi Ann... Nice meeting with you and Gaben (and friend) yesterday! Pretty impressive background, ey? So, how'd it go -- where'd you leave it with them? Hope they're in! (oh, and you're awesome!!) --- Google AdWords 4 clicks in only a week... $30/day budget... pretty good, ey?!? NOT!! Amanda added InSense (or whatever it's called, where they run ads on others' pages) a few days ago I just added 91 suggested keywords to try and help wow. LI 31,332, 14 clicks... ouch $28 --- Link Increasing emotional intelligence through leadership coaching: A COACHING SUCCESS STORY http://www.langleygroup.com.au/images/Casestudy_Coaching1.pdf --- , Orders after Elizabeth Julian... sotola on... ,Heather Chechak 843 McIntyre Street East North Bay, P1B 1G2 1l, MA ,Leann Bennett 308 4th Avenue Lewiston, ID 83501 S, MA ,(newbie) Shipping to: R. newcomer 1233 4th Street La Salle, IL 61301 1/2-pound of Eucalyptus Chew Sticks 10-20 small sticks and few thicker sticks, with leaves. Gliders love to carry them around! , see custom instructions and RA's ,Joni Lett Knarich 4811 Innisbrook St Unit 302 MYRTLE BEACH, SC 29579 (cleared check) S ,Debbie Chandler X ,Lynn Snyder 198 Richardson Drive Middlebury, CT 06762 1-2'x1", X - replacement, no spots ,Jessica Broughton S, X ,Yolanda Thompson 1300G El Paseo Rd. 189 Las Cruces, NM 88001 5'B, clean, 1L, x xErin Parker Canada S, X --- D-R (and 4 great pics!) Stress is Killing Me! Time for Emotional Intelligence? http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/12/stress-health-emotional-intelligence/ Six Seconds Add comments Apr 12 2013 The Good: We know how to solve this problem. The Bad: Stress kills, costs billions of dollars, reduces quality of life, drives economic meltdown and is even destroying the environment. The Ugly: It’s getting worse. “Stress” is a generalization. It’s shorthand for a sense of imbalance and impending chaos. Cycle times are accelerating. Financial systems are melting. Waters are rising. So we feel stress. It’s an emotional signal of danger, and it’s one reason emotional intelligence is more important than ever. If you’ve been to the doctor on a stress-related matter (and WebMD says three out of four US medical visits are stress related), then you’ve probably been treated by Dr. Herbert Benson. Not directly, of course – you might not have even heard his name, but his work has changed the way Western medicine handles stress. In 1975, Dr. Benson wrote a remarkable book called The Relaxation Response, articulating the biomedical antidote to stress. He later founded the Mind/Body Medical Institute, and became a professor at Harvard Medical School. He was one of the, if not the, pioneer researching and advocating treatment that works with the human mind and body. To Stress or Not To Stress Benson’s work is based one a simple, powerful idea: Just as we have a stress response, we have a relaxation response. In his words, we can learn to trigger this response and facilitate the human mind to bring for the emotions that open us to the positive influences in life. This is an example of being smarter with feelings, a growing field of science called “Emotional Intelligence.” Benson is one of the many remarkable experts speaking at the NexusEQ Conference in June 2013 at Harvard University. The conference focuses on the intersection of the science and practice of emotional intelligence. Just as Benson has pioneered an intelligent use of emotion for physical wellbeing, can we learn to use emotion effectively in business, education, and life? Global Implications When we “feel stressed” our brains and bodies trigger a series of adaptations to deal with threat. We are preparing to react to danger by fighting, running, or hiding. This biological system is highly effective for coping with certain threats, such as a tiger stalking you in the jungle. You don’t negotiate with tigers. You don’t innovate. If you want to survive, you run like heck, or hope you’ve got a big sharp stick handy. Adapted for these “survival threats,” our bodies respond to stress by shutting down many systems related to long-term thriving (such as immunity, reproduction, empathic response, even analytical thinking) and put all the body’s resources into core muscles. It means that when we feel stress, we are biologically programmed to be less creative, less compassionate, less visionary. Innovation versus Comfort I’ve written before about two competing systems in the brain: certainty versus learning. When we’re stressed, the brain pushes for safety. We do what we’ve done before. We get a shot of a chemical that is “natural heroin” when we follow the known, the predictable – and yes, it is addictive. Without carefully developing emotional intelligence, we fall into this million-year-old automatic reaction. Since few of us ever learn these skills in school or even at work, the results are predicable – one only has to look at daily news headlines to see that many people are derailed by this dynamic. While it may feel as if the tigers are lurking, today few of us face this kind of threat. Instead we face ongoing, persistent threats tied to complex relational issues such as doing more work with less, talent shortages, and economic uncertainly. At work, the “tigers” are often other people; according to the 2012 Workplace Issues study, over 70% of challenges in the workplace are people-related. Descending Spiral Kills Collaboration So we have a vicious spiral. We’ve got long-term problems that require innovation and bringing people together. In the face of uncertainty, we feel vulnerable, stress kicks in, and we become less creative and collaborative, and we focus on the short-term, urgent. This reaction could make us more isolated and overwhelmed, which pushes us toward more stress. This spiral makes it nearly impossible to solve the world’s biggest problems, such as global warming. These challenges require our most creative thinking and remarkable abilities to build coalition. Yet as soon as we start thinking about the realities of environmental devastation, stress kicks in, and we become less able to access either of those capabilities. Meanwhile, according the IBM annual study of CEOs, the primary need identified by top leaders: Collaboration. A whopping 75% of the respondents call it “Critical.” Consider: If the number one need for the future of business success is that people connect, wouldn’t is be essential to develop the skills to do so? Yet empathy – the skill that would actually let people meet that need, is going down. Dramatically. Research published in Scientific American found a 75% drop in empathy over 30 years. At the very same time, stress is increasing – a 2012 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology says it’s gone up around 20% over 25 years. So we’ve got an increasingly complex environment where the ability to connect is the number one need – and we’re losing it. In fact, as I’ll explain in a minute, we may be losing empathy BECAUSE of the increasing stress. But for now: The writing is on the wall: unless we develop better capabilities for managing these emotional complexities, the future is bleak. Your Brain At War One unfortunate effect of the increasing pace is further escalation of stress and deactivation of the very parts of the brain we most need to solve today’s challenges. Several brain-imaging studies have explored the interaction between our analytical and social brain functions; for example this study from the National Academy of Sciences proposes “anti-correlated functional networks.” That means when one set of brain functions (a network) is activated, others are suppressed. We call this “focus,” and it’s essential for coping with complexity. One of those functional brain networks processes analytical data: Emails. Spreadsheets. Reports. Another processes emotional data: Faces. Tone of voice. Friend or foe. Optimally, the social brain network and the analytical brain network are interlocked and work together. At the same time, we’re able to suppress one system in favor of the other. For example: We’re focused on getting through a hundred and sixty three emails, and someone comes to ask a question. We bark, “Just a MINUTE.” The task-focus required by analytical brain network suppresses the social brain functions that would allow us to connect appropriately with the other person. Ignore Emotions to Make Bad Decisions The same function occurs inside each of us. As we become more “focused,” we suppress signals such as discomfort. We ignore our own feelings so we can do the job. At the extreme, think of a warrior in a hostile environment. When bullets are flying, you’re supposed to be scared – but you have to suppress those feelings in order to function. If you become “too good” at disconnecting emotions, you turn off the regulatory function that would otherwise help you make more careful, humane, life-sustaining decisions. Substitute “warrior” with “executive.” Now teach that person to suppress feelings that are supposed to arise when we’re making unethical decisions. It’s easy to see how someone can decide it’s a “good idea” to ignore a report that their deepwater well is likely to cause unprecedented environmental destruction… or their hedge fund is actually undermining global solvency. Emotions serve as part of our regulatory system – when functioning appropriately they assist us to carefully evaluate impacts on ourselves and others. When they’re shut off, we make more dangerous choices. Emotions actually assist decision-making. Couple that insight with the fact that the demands for analytical focus keep increasing. IBM is excited to sell us services to handle the growing surge: “2.5 quintillion bytes of data — so much that 90% of the data in the world today has been created in the last two years alone.” We’ve built incredibly sophisticated IT systems to handle complexity. We invest in those readily. What about the “HT” – human technology – to actually use these systems in a way that creates a prosperous future? So we have increasing complexity driving us to focus narrowly. We have increasing stress pushing us toward short-term reactivity. Yet the problems we face require something different. The Antidote: Emotional Savvy One the one hand, we’re wired to react in a manner that probably won’t help. Yet as Benson and others have shown, we’re capable of learning alternate responses. This, perhaps, is the reason emotional intelligence is so important today: increasing complexity puts social and emotional skills at a premium. That’s probably why leaders with more emotional intelligence skills create stronger business value. Salespeople trained in these skills outsell others (in one study, 40% better). Many studies show that children trained in these emotional skills earn higher are more healthy, socially connected, and, at the same time, reach higher academic achievement. Peter Salovey (the incoming President of Yale University – who will also be part of the NexusEQ Conference at Harvard in June) and his colleague John Mayer were the first to define emotional intelligence with scientific rigor. Since that first paper in 1990, a plethora of research has emerged on the neurology of emotion and the links to learning, leadership, and life. Perhaps even more importantly, around the world these scientific discoveries are being used to make life better at work, at school, and in communities. People are learning the skills of emotional intelligence with demonstrable results, even in “hardcore” business environments. The Proof in Emotional Intelligence While the term “emotional intelligence” was once the purview of esoteric researchers, it’s become so widely recognized that a worldwide conference on the subject will convene at Harvard University in June. Perhaps even more compelling is the nature of the program: session after session, from all around the world, from every sector, we are seeing examples that emotional intelligence actually creates positive change. For children and families. For the environment. For health. For business. Returning to stress and health, one example is Dr. Sandeep Kelkar, a pediatrician in Mumbai, India. Over a decade ago, Kelkar noticed that different children responded to the same treatment in different ways, and began to observe the family interactions. As a result, Kelkar began to work with the staff in his clinic on how they could go beyond “treating disease” and focus on a larger goal: the wellbeing of children in their care. This led Kelkar to travel to California to learn about Six Seconds and the Self-Science process for social emotional learning. He began to experiment, then, with several colleagues created a foundation in Mumbai: EQuip kids – with a simple vision: What if every adult had the emotional intelligence skills to fully support children? Kelkar will be one of the speakers at NexusEQ, together with his colleague Sudha Srikanth, a preschool director. They’ll share the success story, and the practical ways they’ve used emotional intelligence as a “Psychological Vaccine” to create lasting wellbeing. This works. Yes, we have a perilous situation in the world. Yes, stress is increasing, conspiring against our better nature, making it even harder to resolve the crises we face. Yet an antidote is at hand. Dr. Kelkar’s conclusion: “Emotional intelligence is the missing ingredient in healthcare, as well as the education system.” - The Effects of Stress on Your Body: WebMD Mental Health Center http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/effects-of-stress-on-your-body Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response. The body reacts to these changes with physical, mental, and emotional responses. Stress is a normal part of life. Many events that happen to you and around you -- and many things that you do yourself -- put stress on your body. You can experience stress from your environment, your body, and your thoughts. The Stress Management Diet How Does Stress Affect Health? The human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert and ready to avoid danger. Stress becomes negative when a person faces continuous challenges without relief or relaxation between challenges. As a result, the person becomes overworked and stress-related tension builds. Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can lead to physical symptoms including headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases. Stress also becomes harmful when people use alcohol, tobacco, or drugs to try and relieve their stress. Unfortunately, instead of relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state, these substances tend to keep the body in a stressed state and cause more problems. Consider the following: (D-R) - Forty-three percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress. - Seventy-five percent to 90% of all doctor's office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. - Stress can play a part in problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and anxiety. - The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) declared stress a hazard of the workplace. Stress costs American industry more than $300 billion annually. - The lifetime prevalence of an emotional disorder is more than 50%, often due to chronic, untreated stress reactions. --- Here are SIX ways educators can use the power of EQ to talk with their students and help them deal with frightening and tragic events. http://www.6seconds.org/2013/04/19/how-should-educators-respond-to-tragic-events 1. CREATE a consistent time and space, such as a class meeting, for students to safely share with you and with each other their thoughts, feelings, and questions. Create time for regular check-ins where you can gauge students’ moods and hear their needs. Once these classroom practices become routine, students will seek out these opportunities to share feelings and thoughts about both these deeply disturbing events and the everyday joys and challenges of childhood. 2. ENHANCE EMOTIONAL LITERACY-–Encourage developmentally appropriate sharing of complex and difficult feelings and reactions. Help students explore the intensity and duration of their feelings, the many words to express their reactions, and the fact that each of them may have both the same and different feelings. Help them to accept feelings without judgement. 3. INCREASE EMPATHY —First we must put aside our own preconceptions and really listen to students’ feelings and thoughts, without forcing them to have a particular reaction or response, or expecting that they will. Encourage students to express empathy for the victims and families of a tragic events. Encourage them to have empathy for each others’ feelings. Have gratitude for their unique questions and contributions. 4. USE NAVIGATE EMOTIONS—to help students to validate, explore, and transform their feelings. Many students will want to do something to help. After 9/11, thousands of students sent paper messages to Saint Paul’s Chapel, next door to the World Trade Center site. Last year, on a visit to the World Trade Center memorial, I was fortunate to see these moving remembrances and examples of how students consciously wanted to use their emotions to contribute to the greater good. 5. INCREASE OPTIMISM–After the tragic shootings in Tucson, Arizona, in 2010, my graduate school counseling students here in Tucson, many of whom had connections to the shooting victims, discussed the importance of optimism in creating hope for the future. Educators can help students to remember, in the words of Mr. Rogers, in times of catastrophe, “always look for the helpers.” Encourage students to feel optimistic about the displays of heroism from ordinary individuals, such as those who ran towards the bombing to help others. Assist students to remember that however bleak, the adversity is in some ways temporary–they will go back to feeling ok again; it’s isolated–they still have much of their lives intact and friends and family to share it with; and effort is possible–even as children, they can work toward solutions. 6. PURSUE A NOBLE GOAL--Help students to feel empowered to take action to make a difference in this world. Events such as Newtown and the Boston Marathon bombings often inspire people, including children, to feel even more connected to each other and to work on projects to weave a more peaceful and sustainable world. --- >> Gwen: http://www.eucproducts.com/branches.html Branches are one of our best buys as you get magnificent structure for your critters to play on and with. The bark is intact and perfect for stripping and sap sucking. Chew sticks stem out from the branches and hold handfuls of beautiful fresh leaves. You really get the best of everything, and since it is all still in one piece it is some of the freshest product that we have to offer! Simply snip with a scissors or snippers if you want any of your chew sticks or leaves separate from your branch bundle! Our branches are available in a variety of sizes. The first number is the quantity you are ordering which is then followed by the length and thickness of the branches. Pick the length and width to suit your needs. Sizes & weights below are just for examples as we can do any size! If you do not see what you want or to order branches over 3' long. --- Three Essential Facts About Feelings 1. Feelings are messages 2. All emotions are valuable 3. Emotions are part of our bodies --- "The great accomplishments of man have resulted from the transmission of ideas, into enthusiasm, into actions." - Thomas J. Vilord "Successful people are successful because they form the habits of doing those things that failures don't like to do." - Albert Gray "Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." - Karen Kaiser Clark --- 12:51 I Accept! I found what the prob. is accepting these invites... My google account is actually mperelst@gmail.com, but I have my regular email: matt@2gethelp.com "attached" to my account (whatever that means). Google apparently allows the invitation but then won't accept the meeting request because it's to matt@2gethelp.com... so would you try inviting me atmperelst@gmail.com, please, let's see if that work better? (good to know, but sorry for the hassle). Also, the subject line says 10am (I assume EST) which is 7am PST... however the Start Time (below) say 6am. The subject line time is correct at 10am EST, right? Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Invitation: Call: Matt/Josh/Dan re: EQ rebranding @ Tue Apr 23, 2013 10am - 11am (Personal) From: Dan Waldschmidt Date: Sat, April 20, 2013 11:15 am To: "matt@2gethelp.com" , "josh@6seconds.org" , Vicky Hammond Meeting Request If you accept, this meeting will be added to your Calendar automatically. Meeting Name: Call: Matt/Josh/Dan re: EQ rebranding Location: Call: 202-599-9747 PIN: 17341 Start Time: Tue, Apr 23 2013 6:00 am End Time: Tue, Apr 23 2013 7:00 am Conflicts in the Next Year: None Description: Call: 202-599-9747 PIN: 17341 --- >> write to: - DanW - Alex, next weekend for popcorn - Brian __, euc ladder - Walt et. al. --- 2 windows up out back I was super-grumpy at first, but got better as we made progress. Carol called, Joe's doing better (a little) they stopper IV antibiotics, which tend to cause kidney failure so it's getting better crashed on couch (which Bella has been slowly chewing on, every pillow... just once... and now the couch cushion) 1st day of NBA playoffs --- 4.21 no 420 bizarre dream about an baby/thing inside of me, alive got bigger no one would help got it out kept growing woke up and Carmel was laying on my belly wild. --- 06:44 When I have listened to my mistakes, I have grown. Hugh Prather Sometimes the only way for me to find out what it is I want to do is go ahead and do something. Then the moment I start to act, my feelings become clear. - Hugh Prather (1938 -) --- 07:08 Hey Brian, I got an inquiry on our LinkedIn page for your ladder... how much do you want for one/them?!? Join us! www.Facebook.com/EucProducts - Matt --- 07:10 Alex Hey, minor mistake here... the movie I got the popcorn machine for is NEXT Saturday (!!). Soooo, I'll return your locker key tomorrow to the office, but I'll keep the machine for another week. Sometime thereafter, we'll get it back into the locker... ok? thx. - Matt --- Yeehaa!!! (send pics?!?) Enjoy! - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Payment received from wnlmail@cfl.rr.com From: Lynn and Will Date: Sat, April 20, 2013 6:03 pm To: Matt, (Euc testimonial) The branches arrived on Thursday. The girls are having a blast! Thanks again. Lynn --- 07:16 FB-NDG Big news: We choose to think Bigger news: We choose WHAT to think (we do it all day long at school and work) So, why not think optimistically?? --- Elle Jay no worries, mate! I'm guessing it's not a rush... but I'm also guessing it IS important! The work we do is soooo important. Still, STILL, no one is doing emotional processing like we do. I manage the biggest EQ group in the world, and I can tell you that NO ONE is doing what we do... still. Amazes me, but hey... it they ain't, we will, right?!? --- 07:31 made sure my card was off Tom's SR democrat subscription boom. saved $36/mo. --- (I don't save here many of my replies to Euc customers... orders, questions, complaints... but they do still take time) --- ----------- mcp ---------- "If it is to be, it's up to me!" --- Health Tip: Less Stress in 7 Steps http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/health-tip-less-stress-7-steps Deep breathing relaxes your body and mind. WebMD Feature Archive By Barry W. Wolcott, MD WebMD Feature Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD Feeling stressed? Here are seven simple steps for breathing your way out of stress: Sit in a comfortable, not-too-soft chair that lets you keep your back straight and your feet flat on the floor. Put your hands gently on your belly, right below your ribcage. Ready to take a breath? Expand your belly, drawing breath in through your nose. When you do this right, you'll feel your hands move slightly. Don't hold your breath. Open your mouth a little. Slowly let your belly contract, gently pushing your breath out your mouth. Repeat this for a few minutes. Try not to think of anything in particular. If thoughts wander into your mind, let them wander back out. Don't try to push the stress out of your body -- just let it go. Practice this for several minutes each day. Work up to about five or 10 minutes at a sitting. Do this once a day. If something is stressing you out, do a few minutes of this deep breathing until you feel calm. --- 07:53 FB-ND Big news: We choose to think Bigger news: We choose WHAT to think (we do it all day long at school and work) So, why not think positively?? (Having trouble being/staying positive? We can help!) Positive Attitude pic --- 08:01 Hey, actually I CAN be there at 7am tomorrow (Monday) to play! Anyone else (Walt doesn't do singles, so we'll need at least one more... please, please... I want to play sooo bad!). Who's in? - Matt --- In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. - John Gottman --- Shilpa Anna Webb Who are you? 9:21am Matt Perelstein Hi. I just saw that you liked my post on the ND EQ workshop page about feeling optimistically! ... and we're from Sacramento ...and you're a friend of Cary Parkins, one of my favorite people on the planet. So, I just thot I reach out and try to connect! Ok? --- 09:47 to Gwen Testimonials. (see below for 2013s) 1. Please put some of these on the main page http://www.eucproducts.com/testimonials.html, so they don't have to choose a year. 2. Can you also snag some of the cool pics I've posted on the FB page to include on the main testimonials page and the 2013 page? (they've all been approved by the owners) Click on a pic to open it separately, then right-click, save image as... if no luck, I'd be happy to send 'em to you as attachments. 3. (off subject), would you change the filename of the Gifts and Starter Packs page from gifts.html to starterpacks.html, and also change the menu button from "Gifts & Starter Packs" to "Starter Packs & Gifts", please (we get a LOT more sales of Starters than gifts). thx. http://www.eucproducts.com/gifts.html 2013 testimonials: (summarized, place on main page?) "My Gliders went just crazy over the leaves and branches." "The smell is fantastic! And my Gliders thank you." "THANK YOU for everything my sugar gliders went nuts over it. " "My gliders loveeeeee it!! l place it so they can crawl under it.. they love to hide in it and play. :)" "Got my order today! Super fast and very generous with the leaves!!! Thanks so much." "We've ordered from you before and have ALWAYS been happy with what you have sent! You are always so generous with the leaves and sizes of the branches! Oh.. and our Gliders LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!! Thanks!! :)" Eucalyptus is a MUST HAVE for suggies!!! (specific) Matt, I wanted to let you know I just received my order last night. THANK YOU for everything my sugar gliders went nuts over it. Thanks, Andrew F - Thanks so much! A couple weeks ago I bought a combo pack and my Gliders went just crazy over the leaves and branches. At first I was slightly worried because of some spots on some of the leaves but your instructions that were included were comforting and I felt at ease giving them to my Gliders. Navigating your site and getting to know the history of Eucs and learning the benefits of the Eucs was great. The smell is fantastic! And my Gliders thank you. I look forward to future business. Melissa - My gliders loveeeeee it!! l place it so they can crawl under it.. they love to hide in it and play. :) - Brenda L. Slosek Got my order today! Super fast and very generous with the leaves!!! Thanks so much... my gliders are going to be SO EXCITED when they wake up in a few hours!!! :) Brenda L. Slosek We just ordered our Euc branches yesterday! We've ordered from you before and have ALWAYS been happy with what you have sent! You are always so generous with the leaves and sizes of the branches! Oh.. and our Gliders LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!! Thanks!! :) - The branches arrived on Thursday. The girls are having a blast! Thanks again. - Thank You for the great service as usual! - wow. got the leaves/stalks today. thank you matt. your the best. nancy - My suggies love eucalyptus!!! - Your company has been great. - My boys LOVE your leaves! Thank you again! ~Morgan - Naomi & Shamrock were quite happy to see that we received a new supply of Eucalyptus! Thanks! - Leigh (sent 2 pics... Naomi.jpg and Photo1.jpg... attached ) - Thanks so much Matt! You've got a forever customer here. All the best, Erin - Euc Safe Wood Lists for birds http://www.plannedparrothood.com/plants.html http://www.mdvaden.com/bird_page.shtml - thank you so much for the big limbs the girls won't get it till they wake up Christmas morning to a cage full of leaves and limbs they absolute love this stuff and so do I keep up the great work :) thank you again - AHM my Eucalyptus leaves and chew sticks arrived yesterday. I rinsed them off and put a couple of leaves and a chew stick in Lily's (sugar glider) cage while she was sleeping. She woke up and came out to investigate and starting chewing right away! She dragged a leaf into her pouch and is quite content! ( a nice bonus is the wonderful, fresh fragrance in the house!!) - TA I received my order today... The babies LOVE it! They chew on the sticks and play like crazy in the leaves. Thank you! - SR - Hey Matt! Got the euc Wednesday!! Super fast shipping and as always you exceeded my expectations! Thank you so much my babies loved it! Heather - I just received my order, brought it home from the post office and opened the box and i was immediately happy. I started putting the branches in my gliders cage and he wakes up, pops out of his sack and starts playing and chewing on it all before i could even connect or lay the branches down. He loves them already! We all thank you so much for your great service and what you sent was beyond my expectations! And they already made our house smell amazing as well! I will definitely be making more purchases in the future and recommend you to everyone I know! Thank you again so much! Kristi - My birds are loving the product......need to order more.....call me! Gaye - Matt, I wanted to thank you again for the shipment of eucalyptus that you sent. Libby, my SugarGlider absolutely LOVES it!!! She just coos, chirps, and rolls around in it. You will be hearing from us again! Eucalyptus is a MUST HAVE for suggies!!! Thank You, Tammy and Libby Via - http://www.youtube.com/user/precarious333 Mantids and other insects - the big limbs the girls won't get it till they wake up Christmas morning to a cage full of leaves and limbs they absolute love this stuff and so do I keep up the great work :) thank you again maybe next time ill see about getting some seeds from you :p - This product is great! I put a few branches in the corners of one of my sugar glider cages last night. I came back the next morning to see two pouches filled with leaves and a branch hanging from one. They absolutely loved it and were excited to have part of their natural habit in their cage. I will definitely be ordering more! - Hayley - All the rescues that come through here get addicted to Euc so it's best to send them home with some to help with the transition a little. I'm looking forward to it! I swear I can see the gliders sticking their tongues out in anticipation for new eucalyptus too. =p - Just received my starter pack of Eucalyptus from Matt. Smells so good. - Got them today, they are going crazy, couldn't hardly get the first branch in the cage and they were grabbing and pulling :-) - VM in VA (I think there's more, but that's enuf for now!) (Thanks much for doing this!!!) - Matt --- 10 Weirdest Spiders http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=MeRcAFctoTo --- 10:14 order labels PP = 3344 - 11:06 Oh sorry Erin, but I cannot send you seeds! I have special approval from the Canadian Gov't to send cut Eucs across the border... but they asked me NOT to send seeds, ever... as that's "cultivation", and that's a whole different approval process. You can get seeds here (for only $2.50 for hundreds) http://www.sandmountainherbs.com/eucalyptus.html Sorry again. I'll be packing your order this afternoon. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt --- 11:25 Hey you... I'm sure you already know about this, but I just saw it and thought of you! http://earthsky.org/tonight/close-up-on-constellation-lyra-the-harp Enjoy. - Matt --- 11:29 work on DanW EQ doc changed name to ~EQ4ALL.txt >> send to: - Roger - Sandra - Ginger - Lonn - Dad - Abbie - S&C --- 11:42 I hope someday our US leaders can be as brave, enthusiastic and down-to-earth as New Zealand's! --- Val (ND Testimonial) The biggest lack in our mental health system is anger work. We are letting people down in our society by not figuring this piece out on a national level. Other than New Directions and possibly the program that UYO morphed into, there is not much else out there. I want to be on top of things and to be able to recommend what I think will work. Tops on my list best used in combo or one at a time: AA (any 12-step, using or not) New Directions Individual therapy The Family Nurturing Programs I firmly believe that if anyone will available themselves to these programs, they could improve EVERY area of their lives. The other things available, like Landmark, are better than nothing, but not as powerful as New Directions...to me, that is mainly because of lack of good anger work. Those that say, "We'll do that if the student says that's what they want," is bull. VERY FEW people want to do anger work when they don't even know what it is or that it can be totally safe. So, leaving it loosely up to participants doesn't cut it...at least not enough for me to actually recommend it. So, there's my interest...saving the world. --- 12:00 working on EQ4All good start! ... but stuff will always pull me away from my focus... I'm a distract-o-saurus! (full screen helps!) maximized EditPad, f6 --- >> look for a new keyboard. Mouse must cordless, but keyboard doesn't have to be. see? back to it, please... --- 12:06 FB-NDG Speaking of optimistic... Please hit "Like", if you like something here... just to be encouraging and positive and optimistic, and to let people know they're not alone. It works for both you AND the author (even if you don't know the person)! thx. --- off to play disc golf with PR, Josh and Josh, and Bella! very fun! Josh Lobue got 9 under par in 12 holes!! Incredible. I got 3 pars (which is my best) new disc and bag, then Josh Lobue gave me another driver, so nice. Subway after then Rossi's for 21 2x4's, and galvanized, 6x2.5" screws. then Safeway for dog and cat food, salads, mayo then home Josh-u-a and I did Eucs Josh rode his bike and PR worked on her sewing with PKP then Enchilada's for dinner (yum) then ESPN, NBA playoffs, (home teams 8-0, Heat won by 25ish, LeBron made 9-11, 81%, wow -- MVP again?!?) 9ish then crash --- 4.22 01:00 Buddy dog (Jimmie's) howling for Bella woke me up did Enjoy!'s (2 starters, shoebox, game box, 2' and 3') watched some ESPN, and the first part of Meet Joe Black, very good. made fire with old boxes and kitchen trash (still going) 03:53 "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure, nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." - William Butler Yeats --- Val Hey, DanW wrote back and wanted another meeting, Tuesday... re: re-Branding ND! will let you know how it goes... - Matt --- My computer is sooo slow now... I wonder if it needs more RAM --- (pics, but changed you to our) The best way 2 feel good is to2 do good -------- 4 other people - It is by standing up for the rights of girls and women that we truly measure up as men. - Desmond Tutu To achieve something we've never achieved, we must become someone we've never been. - Brian Tracy Wanting to be someone we are not is a waste of the person we are. Fear is a prison. Our mind is like a farm, if we don't plant good seeds... weeds start to grow... and eventually take over. - Hanna Noori I do get angry. I get stressed. I do worry. I get sad and disappointed too. What I am not though, is consumed by any of this. I owe it to myself not to torment my soul with my own sorrows. I strive to move forward. - Dodinsky (eopics) - “The authentic self is the soul made visible.“ - Sarah Ban Breathnach - it is only This Moment that counts, This Moment that matters. Dwelling on anything else is pointless. - NDW - When we see a photo of our earth from space, it is hard to feel ourselves as being separate from all others. - How may a man gain self-knowledge? By contemplation? Certainly not; but by action. Try to do your duty and you will find what you are fit for. But what is your duty? The demand of the hour. - Johann von Goethe (1749 - 1832) - ------------- mcp ------------ Some men succeed by what they know; some by what they do; and a few by what they are. - Elbert Hubbard --- EQ is you. EQ is me. EQ is us. EQ is we. EQ is US. EQ is all of us, in this life thing, together. EQ is knowing I am separate from us, yet the same, and together. EQ is strength. EQ is wisdom. EQ makes sense. EQ is sense. EQ is common sense. hopefully, someday, EQ will be common knowledge. --- 04:33 FB-RB We'll be there at 7 this morning. We could use one more... is it you? :) SarahB and Autumn Smith took a bunch of pics of themselves, showing dif. expressions. this is what high EQ girls look like! 04:51 NICE! Saw all your other pics, but this one is the best... good choice! 2 sweetie-peeties in a pod. luv you guys! 04:53 FB-Sandra Adair's pic (saved) You look happy and well... and that makes me happy... and well! --- I see a future I see the future. it looks bright, to me. I see hope I share hope. I try to give hope. hope beats hate. 05:- EQ4All I've been frustrated in not being able to sum up this stuff into a few, short, powerful words but I'm getting closer. when I get it... look out! --- (unused wording) (D-R) Many of our social problems today -- like suicide, crime, addictions, mental health, divorce, abuse, violence, even war -- are all based on people (mostly men) not knowing how to deal with their feelings and emotions! These are all man-made problems and they can be solved by man. How, by dealing with the unexpressed emotions stuffed into your body by you, as a child, that you have never released/felt/acknowledged/faced/conquered/mastered. I believe we can effect changes in suicides, mental health, addictions, obesity, divorce, crime, violence, even war. Tell me your thots on this one... I have a club going, called the 3.3 Million club. The premise is that, often we are unsatisfied, and get greedy, and stressed out trying to make As Much Money as possible... so I thot, what if there were a number that would be enuf/enough. I believe that if I amassed $3.3M, that that would be enough for me and my family to live on nicely. So, after I hit that number, I won't need any more ("one less thing" - Forrest Gump), so I plan to give the rest away. Our club will be about helping Each other all get our 3.3M, and then giving the rest away in cool ways. Interested? with Brig. Gen. Cornum: "I think we have shown that emphasis on physical fitness has resulted in that the Army's average percent body fat is lower than the civilian society, so we have reason to think that unequal emphasis on psychological fitness will result in our psychological fitness being higher than the civilian population in general." Just take any one pieces of these... like Teamwork... help people see their role on a team, how they help, and how/why they sabotage... how they fit in, or separate themselves, what commitment, and intention, and personal power, and group mindset all mean, and EVERY team functions better. One person with high EQ (and some naddlies) can rally an entire team, even a team of low EQers! Energy and Passion. These are two closely linked characteristics that seem to fuel one another in the great entrepreneurs and venture capitalists that I’ve met. Energy helps you discover and pursue your passion. Passion gives you more energy, which leads to more discoveries and pursuits. -William H. Draper, III The Startup Game http://drkfoundation.org/our-grants.html 9/11 made a foundational shift in our (America's) conscious, as we realized One of my goals is to be angry a bit more often... I think I'm too soft, and I kinda feel sorry for myself 'cause I gotta work 200 miles from home, 4 days a week... well, it's just a cop out. The ONLY reason I'm doing that, is so I can do EQ, soon. I need $10k/mo. to replace the income from my stupid-job, and start doing what I need to with EQ, take us worldwide! (I realize this sounds airy-fairy, I don't have the concrete particulars all worked out yet, but we're getting close!) 6 Seconds is kicking butt in the left-brain side of emotions... we're better at the right-brain side. I'm not arrogant, I'm experienced. I'm not pushy, I'm motivated (motorvated) I'm not cocky, I'm just sure this stuff works. with all the different time zones, we can get caregivers from around the world to provide support 24 hours/day(!) Most suicides are at night. Most addictions are at night. Most molests and rapes are at night. f. frankly, I'm not that great at business. I'd rather get funded, and then give it away... that's suit me just fine. I can envision corporate sponsorship, where they can be incredible 'good guys' by investing this monumental project to change/save the world with EQ. (I wrote most of this in about an hour. I've been thinking about it, and devising, for a long time, and now I think I'm finally ready to make it happen. RIGHT! That's a good thing... if we can be Selfish IN THE RIGHT WAYS, everybody wins!!). So, the free classes EQ-101: me, getting to know me The basics concepts, steps and skills of EQ EQ-201: We, Me and someone else Relationships, work, home, family, friends, you and someone else EQ-301: Us, the whole gang, teamwork At work, at home, at play, get things done, have some fun doing it EQ-401: The planet, leadership, mission, calling, making things happen, being awesome, making a difference From there, we can have a huge offering of classes, some fee/some free, that teach a whole range of EQ-related subjects. so we'd better LEARN about them, or we ain't really in control of our own lives! Giving without receiving anything - ? This is like a 'long sales letter', brochure-type sales site. I like 'em, 'cause you get the whole scoop. And, a marketer said the other day (in a long sales letter), "you know who reads long sales letters? People interested in buying!" Dan, no offense, but we take a very different approach than you do about giving... actually it's the opposite. On some of your videos, you say that we give and must not expect anything in return. I thing/say/submit to you that we get TONS from Giving, just the act itself, and that's really why we do it... and that's Ok... because it works... and because it's a win-win-win-win-win! I call it US or Ultimate Selfishness. We give and we help, and we're gonna change the world from the inside out... why? because it's fun, because it's helps us feel valuable, and connected, and loving, and powerful... and that's Ok. Win-lose doesn't feel good (usually). We give, and get, at the same time, so we keep doing it. Whatchathink? Here's a problem, I keep telling people that "you don't need us. in fact, you don't need anybody or any thing to heal your emotional pain. you just need courage. and commitment. and a good, positive attitude, and off you go! I don't have much of a strategy beyond that. I'd like to get funded, so I can get the rest done. WE HAVE TOTAL CONTROL over whether we handle stuff well, emotionally. or not. Heretofor, there weren't many choices besides drugs (prescription or otherwise) and years of therapy. Now there's help. We do indeed store up these feelings that bog us down, keep us stuck, interfere with our relationships, goals, etc. and THAT we can do something about. EQ works! We have 100% complete responsibility for our own Thoughts, our Feelings and (especially) our Behaviours! it's true. Our thoughts are ours, alone. No one can MAKE us think anything... we think it, period. our feelings are ours... we can do something about what we can control... us. that no one MAKES us angry... we really CAN control/effect/manage/succeed with our own self, our own feelings, are emotions, are thoughts, and especially our beheviours (everything we do, say or have), Then, and only then, do we truly have control over our lives! It's not their fault that they don't know... NObody knew this stuff 'til now... we're just learning about the profound effects our feelings can have (esp. unresolved negative feelings) on our body, mind and spirit). What we do know is that it's astonishingly simple, and more astonishingly effective. --- 05:39 FB-THAHBH So true, Yael?! I just found out that Daniel Goleman's game-changing book "Emotional Intelligence, Why it Can Matter More Than IQ" was selected as #5 in Time's 25 Most Influential Business Management Books, ever! However, it's about balance... not so much that EQ > IQ... but that IQ + EQ = LOL !! (laugh out loud AND lots of love) --- LI-EIN Is any way to cure depression natural way? It depends on the severity of the depression, type of depression and how diagnosis was attained (self-diagnosis versus professional diagnosis?). Some people get 'the blues' and call it depression, however, there is a stark difference between these feelings of sadness and clinical depression. With clinical depression sadness is prolonged and grows over time - the negative feelings being so overwhelming that they impair a person's ability to function. Clinical depression requires intervention by a medical professional to correct possible chemical imbalances in the brain, and/or cognitive behavioual therapy to challenge thinking patterns. Low blood pressure, certain illnesses and a deficiency of vital nutrients and minerals in the body have a tendency to mimic depressive symptoms - these need to be ruled out prior to being assessed for depression. Once known, establishing and treating the source of the depression is important for long-term effectiveness. Activities that the depressed person may find useful may be a combination of daily exercise (yoga has been known to help ease depression); getting sufficient sunlight (especially in the case of seasonal depression) and sleep; mixing with positive people (isolating the self from others exaccerbates the depressive state); limiting negative media hype intake and diet. Depression should never be ignored and should not be taken lightly. By Charmaine Stainton --- nappage --- Links Authenticity http://authenticity-marc.blogspot.com.es/2013/03/management-and-indifference.html Three Quick Tips for Saving the Earth http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/earth_day_2013 Cracking the Habit Code — Online Class, Christine Carter http://www.raisinghappiness.com/class/cracking-the-habit-code/ Empathic Education: A Call to Arms http://blog.wiziq.com/empathic-education-a-call-to-arms/ By before dawn on April 23, Lyrid peak will have passed http://earthsky.org/tonight/close-up-on-constellation-lyra-the-harp Guilty Until Proven Worthy http://www.faysalsulatch.com/2012/04/guilty-until-proven.html Information and Resources Health Tip: Less Stress in 7 Steps Deep breathing relaxes your body and mind. http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/health-tip-less-stress-7-steps NexusEQ - at the intersection of emotion, neuroscience, learning and leadership. http://www.nexuseq.com/members/herbertbenson/profile/ Ideas are a Dime a Dozen. People Who Implement Them are Priceless http://www.forbes.com/sites/amyanderson/2013/03/14/ideas-are-a-dime-a-dozen-people-who-implement-them-are-priceless/ APRIL EDGY PERSPECTIVES SHOW, DanW Topic: How To Make LinkedIn Make You Money. http://danwaldschmidt.com/dw-events/april-edgy-perspectives-show Our hearts go out to the families of the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings http://greatmomentsinparenting.com/topics/our-hearts/ Beautiful Sites! Gaben Chancellor, MFF http://www.contentx.com/ http://www.gabenchancellor.com/ http://thetrustambassador.com/2013/04/19/12-ways-to-improve-online-communication/ 12 Ways to Improve Online Communication Overarching consideration: Use the right mode of communication – often e-mail or texting are not the right ways to communicate a particular message. 1. Do not treat online notes like a conversation. In normal conversation we use the feedback of body language to modify our message, pace, tone, and emphasis in order to stay out of trouble. In e-mail or in texting, we do not have this real-time feedback. 2. Keep messages short. A good e-mail or text should take only 15-30 seconds to read (texts as little as 2-3 seconds) and absorb. Less is more in online communication. Try to have the entire message fit onto the first screen. When a messages goes “over the horizon,” the reader does not know how long it is, which creates a psychological block. 3. Establish the right tone upfront. Online messages have a momentum. If you start on the wrong foot, you will have a difficult time connecting. The “Subject” line and the first three words of a note establish the tone. 4. Remember the permanent nature of e-mails. Using e-mail to praise helps people remember the kind words. Using e-mail to be critical is usually a bad idea because people will re-read the note many times. 5. Keep your objective in mind. Establish a clear objective of how you want the reader to react to your note. For sensitive notes, write the objective down. When proofreading your note, check to see if your intended reaction is likely to happen. If not, reword the note. 6. Do not write notes when you are not yourself. This sounds simple, but it is really much more difficult than meets the eye. Learn the techniques to avoid this problem. 7. Avoid “online grenade” battles. Do not take the bait. Simply do not respond to edgy note in kind. Change the venue to be more effective. 8. Be careful with use of pronouns in notes. Pronouns establish the tone. The most dangerous pronoun in an online note is “you.” 9. Avoid using “absolutes.” Avoid words such as: never, always, impossible, or cannot. Soften the absolutes if you want to be more credible online. 10. Avoid sarcasm. Humor at the expense of another person will come back to haunt you. 11. Learn techniques to keep your e-mail inbox clean (down to zero notes each day) so you are highly responsive when needed. Adopting proper distribution rules in your organization will cut e-mail traffic by more than 30% instantly. 12. Understand the rules for writing challenging notes so you always get the result you want rather than create a need for damage control. Your organization has a sustainable competitive advantage if: • You live and work in an environment unhampered by the problems of poor online communication. This takes some education and a customized set of rules for your unique environment, but the effort is well worth it. • Employees are not consumed with trying to sort out important information from piles of garbage notes. • Your coworkers are not focused on one-upmanship and internal turf wars. • Leaders know how to use electronic communications to build rather than destroy trust. For leaders and managers, once you learn the essentials of e-body language, a whole new world of communication emerges. You will be more adept at decoding incoming messages and have a better sense of how your messages are interpreted by others. You will understand the secret code that is written “between the lines” of all messages and enhance the quality of online communications in your sphere of influence. Training in this skill area does not require months of struggling with hidden gremlins. While employees often push back on productivity improvement or OD training, they welcome this topic enthusiastically because it improves their quality of work life instantly. Four hours of training and a set of rules can change a lifetime of bad habits. --- 06:39 pack and go... --- 12:30 at SR Apt. --- >> Do Low Carbs, and eat less, in general. Yes: Meat Veggies, including Rutabeggas? Cheese Nuts Tuna Oatmeal? No: Bread Fruit Rolls Pizza Chips >> ask Kevin --- IMS --- 1:38 Sorry, I blew it again, Kim! What's your address, please? My bad... I don't usually screw up twice... and certainly not thrice! I'll send you extras... sorry again. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Oval Leaves From: Kym Sandak Date: Mon, April 22, 2013 11:00 am To: Eucs@2gethelp.com Hey matt Wondering and waiting for the Oval leaves i Ordered 2 Weeks ago we spoke ....?????????? kim from florida --- 1:44 Yes, Shauna, sorry... your special discount page is now ready! Feel free to share with them (but no one else, k?) http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ I'd be happy to talk to them before class... or Paula will, to, if they'd prefer a female. My cell: 916-599-8597 Paula @ home: 707-962-9006 ok?? --- Tom here, power off for a minute 1:50 to 2:15 ferry beautiful out nice nap on ferry (been up since 0100, plus racquetball!) --- Kevin Low Carbs new atkins, new you eggs bullion dissolved in hot water meat avocado lethargic first few days then high --- >> ?? Receipt for your debit card purchase Transaction ID: 1BM54184WA022373U Hello EucProducts of California, Amount $26.00 USD Merchant LUMENZ NETWORKS GmbH,Linz,AT, to: office@lumenznetworks.com Hi. Please cancel my subscription and refund the billing noted below. http://lumenznetworks.com/invoice-detail/20130423021500033-00001 Thank you! - Matt --- 5:14 Thanks. Looks correct! I will forward your invoice and you should have a check within a week or so. If not, let me know. Thanks again for everything. I'm hoping to schedule another segment with you in the next month or so. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: invoice From: Elizabeth Swenson Date: Mon, April 22, 2013 7:46 am To: Matt Perelstein Hi Matt, Here is invoice take covers final work on EQ101 #2 & 3 --- 7:51 FB-RB Right on! Yes, it was very, very cool to play again this morning! The 'Big Blue Wal(t)' was there to welcome us in... and so were Rusty, Richard? and Silver?... but I had to zip off to work in SF. There are a few things about the new club/rules/colors/water/towels/steps etc, that I was surprised/unhappy/concerned about... but I'll get over 'em... as long as we can play! Larry?, THANKS for re-opening the club for us! My biggest gripe is that sooo much money/time/effort was spent to beautify things AROUND the courts, but the broken walls in Court 1 are still broken... and this isn't just for looks... it alters/hinders the game significantly! Please let Tom? fix the front of Court 1. See ya'll Friday... --- 9:19 out 10:22 SR - Shauna Wright I didn't take a minute to check this out but maybe it might be interesting. If not, just delete. Test your social intelligence http://kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu The ability to read the emotions of others is linked to "social intelligence" which, in turn, is linked to performance on team-based problem solving tasks.. --- If done correctly, feeling sorry for ourself can be tremendously Healing... as k'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' (pause... in chair, neck back, hanging precariously) --- 4.23 oouwww.... 02:57 “Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.“ - Robert Louis Stevenson you are not your 'story.' Who You Are is so much bigger than that. It's okay to give up your past now. - NDW Being a parent never ends, it only transitions throughout our lives together assuming new and exciting roles. Not all those that wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien (1892 - 1973) --- 03:11 Maryam called mostly ok, but getting divorced being accussed of lying, stealing since middle school 0715 DanW call Actionable, not just Applicable every wonder your boss doesn't listen to you every wonder why you have the degrees, but never get promoted every wonder why you struggle with>> losing weight can't save money ... EQ is the answer you probably heard someone say, be logical, think about it we're not wired to be logical, it's emotional not logical, but it still happens, still lose Heart Smarts is cool Heart Smarts, added to Head Smarts Psychology, applicable to everyday life when you're looking for something, like your keys, your brain has heightened focus, and stimulates brain to be extra smart, dopemine, etc. power of focus, with out focus, brain runs slower like racing NASCAR in a street car science in 2013... not hypothesizing anymore. we're not kookie, we're powerful how being better at home helps you at work in HBR unresolved anxiety, fear, stress senior leadership wants to be seen doing man's work, not women's work. brass tacks what do you want to call this Name for New Directions hire someone? design? ugly design, assumes ugly content conf, events, bootcamps what is the strategy what are the words low carb eating food Being what are we selling? how do we present it? video of me. marketing strategy, advertise on LI-EIN timeline, by June 1 (6 weeks) planning, wording, June 1-15 update website, mock it up, get it ready June 15 share it personally for 2 weeks July 1 go live promos to Aug. 1 who builds it, us or them $5-7500/mo. $25k up front for strategy 6 weeks who to align us with partnerships who in our work strategic suit, or t-shirt there's a path to domination I'm a good fan asset under your nose, with the big group if only 1% of your group became clients, that's 450 clients even something simple like $1,000 online webinar series at $999, that's a half-million bucks have assets there, if not smart, and look elegant best time to launch is right after Labor Day slow play it slowly start changing your luck buyers make decisions in the 4th qtr. Ideas, partner? put some material together, share tons of content people who are looking for business people are reaching out for EQ bec. as they are not where they want to be, financially. for $99/mo. access to our 12-part workshop series. membership site providing value, upsell workshops think about it, it's your thing how pain and fear motivate and transfer that to marketing EDGY, that's something I can talk about substantive 2% conversion rate is not out of possible that's $1M 10% come to site Change your life Get a job Get promoted Get Happy EQ is how, now what? the What is a job, marriage, happiness, love solution=based. financial independence EDGY sell the dream! --- 08:09 go 08:30ish bus 24 snooze --- 12:09 submitted to Jim the biggest project I've done since I got here. awaiting feedback. - 12:36 do it again! --- 5:00 out 14 hours today! --- 7:40 FB-IM I didn't take a minute to check this out but maybe it might be interesting. If not, just delete. Test your social intelligence kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu ----------- mcp -------- The ability to read the emotions of others is linked to "social intelligence" which, in turn, is linked to performance on team-based problem solving tasks.. - Thanks, Shauna... as you know, I'm always on the lookout for good EQ stuff/info/research/tools. There's was nothing at that link, but I appreciate your sentence... social intelligence, ey? I like it. So Emotional Intelligence (EQ), enhances Intellectual Intelligence (IQ), which leads to Social Intelligence (which would be SQ). ----------- mcp -------- EQ --> IQ --> SQ --> World Peace. Ok, I can dig it! Did you check that page link (above)... is that what you need? You might also send your friends the link (below) to our videos and audios, so they can get to know us a bit. http:/// I think the one that explains the basics of EQ is EQ-101.1, The Basics (scroll down a bit). Do these guys have known baggage? --- EQ enhances IQ! EQ helps us Heal. EQ brings relief. EQ sends joy. EQ waves. EQ smiles EQ even dances sometimes Can you sing? will you? learn EQ. ND Brochure ----------------- Change your Life Feel better Feel better about yourself Learn to life you. Love wisely Listen with your heart. Find out how to heal. Release stress. Feel loved. Enjoy! Personal Power Success. happiness. Life. people 'get it' in one weekend. in fact, many 'get it' the first night! they get into it... and presto, Saturday morning, they/we are reporting Relief, Release, Energy, Smiles, love, hope, willingness, excitement... let's Do this! ... and we do... boom. Right-Brain Rally. Leave your protective Left-brain at the door. this weekend I feel the way I wanna feel. there's a crzy fire in my heart tonight - Under Mighty Wings across the sky Top Gun We'll hold space for you. We'll make it safe for you. we'll encourage you. we';ll stick with you. We'll hold you while you cry. We'll hold a pillow while you release... just let 'er rip. all the Crap you've been hanging on to all these years. the pain, the anger, the resentment, the abuse, the neglect the abandonment... even the violation, the horror, he attrotious things that you've had to endure. it's all pain, and it's all anger. there is a bottom to it. there is help. and you can do this. you Can let go. you can heal. you can release. and you can SOAR above the clouds!!! We hold on this crap, but we don't have to! our mind says to keep it, way deep down, out pain becomes a friend, a known, something you always have with you... so you're not truly alone. but it doesn't have to be that way. You can find new friends. Friends that actively love. Friends who live in Joy, not pain. friends like You. Become friends with you. Meet your inner child. Get to know her/him. walk a mile in their shoes for a weekend. remember, see, experience, understand. as painful as it may be, go back and visit for awhile. see the world from their POV. we do this cool visualization where we take you back to you, as a child... so you can see the world thru their eyes, once again. We take you into the house you grew up in, and ... well, I won't spoil the adventure of it all. let's just say it's one of the most Connecting times I've ever seen. We have you as an adult MEET you as a child... to start a relationship... probably the most important relationship you'll EVER have... between you, past and you, present. Who are you? What did you go thru? What did you decide about life as a result of your pain (that's STILL consciously, and unconsciously Running your life!). and get in touch with how much and how profoundly your present is still being influenced by your past. (heck, do it now. You don't NEED us for any of this. You/we don't need anything or any body to feel, and to heal!) Get to know you. Accept you. Befriend you. Encourage you. Enjoy you. then, Learn how to Motivate you. Learn what you need to function at your best and fullest. Learn how to love, and to feel loved, in powerful, effective ways. Learn how to deal with your sadness, pain and anger. Learn how to make you the healthiest, happiest, most powerful, most ALIVE you, you can! (or do you have something more important to do that weekend?) --- 6:13 bandcamp tonight... they're setting up now. --- 6:13 Yael So yes, we have the survey results and soon ( Saturday) we will have the winners. There was a tremendous level of participation ( 15%). I thought it was 20% at first but it turned out that someone submitted 14 times an empty survey. Anyway, we all did well. :-) There was an interesting suggested from a member- to give our services, for a short period of time, at discounted rates-if you agree, we will only offer it to those who participated in the survey. The decision based on two factors: 1.Think healthy wall is not meant for promoting businesses. 2. Posting any offer on the wall will be views by those who are not interested and it would be a bad marketing step. Therefore I will personally email the survey's participants. I would like to ask you what do you think about the idea? Sending love to you all! Yael <3 ...Today 5:57pmExpand Show ImagesYael Stark What I meant to ask was-would that be of any value to you? if not, it's cool, if yes-let's see how we can do it. Good night x ... 8:00pmExpand Show ImagesParu Claudia Richey Hi Yael, I would offer a 20% discount on full Ayurvedic consultations to survey participants. - Thanks for doing all this, Yael! You pulled it off with style and grace... well done. I'll go with Paru, and offer 20% off an hour's consultation... $50, down to $40. I could also offer as much as 50% off our weekend EQ workshops ($399, down to $199), at www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com... but it's in Fresno, California, so... Anyway, let us know how we can help. Thanks again. - Matt --- jolene P. commented on Why the urge for self-destruction? "I'm no angel and I certainly never fell from grace , some people self destruction is a behavior of guilt, hasn't got the capability to ... "more… "I'm no angel and I certainly never fell from grace , some people self destruction is a behavior of guilt, hasn't got the capability to handle certain circumstances , afraid , can see no way out , and can be a form of " crying out for help ", or simply no value of life anymore . I don't think that someone will go to these measures unless they could see no light at the end of the tunnel... I do not paint a " stereotype " as each individual are different as well as thoughts ... no 2 people will have the same destruction button , but may have familiar traits , diagnosis and medication . SELF - DESTRUCTION ... As I always say no offence it's just my personal opinion " --- Betsy, MFF There are two components of any great undertaking like Telluride: hard WORK and love. But only the love must show. - Chuck Jones --- Project Sanctuary is now not allowed to give out shampoos and such (which they always had plenty of), unless they're 'clients'. You won't be teaching again before you leave. Aug. 31. --- invite --- Doc Glenn Veenstra PhD Dept. Psychiatry, Associate Professor University of Kansas School of Medicine gveenstra@cox.net - what is the likelihood that the anticipated danger will actually happen. The amygdala identifies all the possible dangers that can happen and treats them as if they will certainly happen. It cannot make this decision for you. If you let it make it, the amygdala will tell you that the probability of danger occurring is 100%. To make a more accurate assessment you must use your higher-level brain to think about what the realities of the situation are actually likely to be Add some IQ to EQ Left brain is the Gatekeeper it can/must give the right-brain Permission to feel, vulnerable, real. so the left-brain needs to know it's safe, to have the confidence to that we will take into account all warnings, be aware, our left AND right-brains are fully alive, alert and activated, and due to the many times in the past that I've handled things well, I trust ME to handle it well, yet again. left-brain calms down. right-brain calms down. all is well. life is good. - , what would be so horrible if the danger did occur? more left brain, confidence building. could I handle it if this situation occurs? Since the amygdala is inclined to focus on danger it is inclined to make the outcome horrible DRPDA! if you only listen to the amygdala's appraisal you are likely to accept its response to run and completely avoid the situation. too much EQ, not enuf IQ Tolerance of anxiety is almost always required to overcome an anxiety disorder Know, ACCEPT, Express or Awareness, ACCEPTance, Action focus on outcomes that will be positive enough to outweigh any negatives that could occur. take control of your life, and make/create/allow the positives, rather than negatives, to occur Working With ANXIETY DISORDERS Therapeutic Summery There are four goals or safety signals that the clients to know to overcome their ANXIETY DISORDER: ? Security, cognitive understanding how the Amygdala works. o Avoidance: not Triggering the Alarm o Protection: Barriers Against Danger ? Safety, is based on an assessment that there is a low likelihood of the feared event occurring. ? Tolerability, is based on the appraisal that, though the feared outcome may occur and be uncomfortable, it would not be negative enough to offset the positive outcomes from approaching the situation. ? Mastery, is based on the judgment that a successful outcome can be achieved that will overcome the danger in the situation. As mastery grows, less safe risks and more difficult to tolerate outcomes can be approached. Glenn Veenstra PhD Dept. Psychiatry, Associate Professor University of Kansas School of Medicine gveenstra@cox.net Working With ANXIETY DISORDERS --- Fb-NDG Matt Perelstein Hey, who else is still working on their story? Can you get (evan a draft) done in the next week? it's not about perfect, or clever, or slick... or even spelled correctly... it's just about you, and me, sharing our journey, with those less fartune (and don't have ND to go to). --- 10:08 Lumanation got 2 new videos made. really good ones they're going big time! --- 10:11 Yes, let's talk, Cameron! (Google AdWords) how about tomorrow or Thursday morning at 10am EST? Look forward to it. Our ads are doing awful. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Google Support Ad Words From: "Cameron Hoag" Date: Tue, April 23, 2013 5:14 pm To: info@2gethelp.com Hello Matt, I'm following up on the voicemail I just left you. To recap, I'm an Online Marketing Specialist working on behalf of Google and I help companies like yours that are new to AdWords. I’m a part of an account management team that offers free support to new advertisers during their first few weeks using AdWords. I'd like to schedule some time with you to discuss your marketing plans and goals for 2 Get Help Workshops. I can also tell you about some opportunities available to you from Google. Please give me a call or email me at the contact information below. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Cameron Hoag Google AdWords Specialist 1-800-826-9988 Ext. 23650 --- 10:12 to bed --- 4.24 alarm at 04:20... snoozed 'tll 7 pkp work's horrible for her now. they're trying/ready to get rid of her, so Carol and Rachel are making it miserable. sorry. --- 07:14 Being able to understand and use emotions in an effective manner is a crucial attribute one needs for great leadership. - Josh Freedman “Change your thoughts and you change your world.“ - Norman Vincent Peale Experience has taught me that when starting a new business or business project, the first 90 days will be the most difficult to make real progress. It will take a year before you really get a handle on it. - HJ (HJ = Hilton Johnson, Biz Tip of the Day Knowing when to let somebody go and leave a relationship is a true act of self-love. - MT (MT = Madisyn Taylor, Daily OM) look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point. - Susan Sarandon A man of character finds a special attractiveness in difficulty, since it is only by coming to grips with difficulty that he can realise his potentialities. - Charles de Gaulle (1890 - 1970) --- 7:40pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Thanks, Shauna... as you know, I'm always on the lookout for good EQ stuff/info/research/tools. There's was nothing at that link, but I appreciate your sentence... social intelligence, ey? I like it. So Emotional Intelligence (EQ), enhances Intellectual Intelligence (IQ), which leads to Social Intelligence (which would be SQ). EQ --> IQ --> SQ --> World Peace. Ok, I can dig it! Did you check that page link (above)... is that what you need? You might also send your friends the link (below) to our videos and audios, so they can get to know us a bit. http:/// I think the one that explains the basics of EQ is EQ-101.1, The Basics (scroll down a bit). Do these guys have known baggage? --- ND Half-price ($199) http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ FB-IMs --- 07:40 Tom O Yo! Hey, remember when you came down yesterday and I was making that Half-price page for ND? Well, being as you're special (and as a thank you!), you may use that page too (but don't share it, please except for someone you invite). Next class is May 17 in Fresno... I hope that's not when you guys are playing at that wedding... is it? ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 07:50 Lourie Brown: Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you and your fam, and want to thank you for your continued love over the years! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 07:51 shower time nice. --- Melann Hey stinky! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you and your fam, and want to thank you for your continued love over the years! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:09 Linda Wall Hey stinky! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! I look forward to next class and working with you and our new 'team'! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:11 Terri McCauley Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Big prayers STILL going out to you and the Pat-meister. Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:12 Debby Rising Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Big prayers STILL going out to you and the Pat-meister. Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:14 Karen Mabry Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:15 Jennifer Stutzman Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you're feeling ok (or are getting better)! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:16 Christine Tate Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you're happy and well! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:18 Angie Boulware (Lewis) Hey sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you're happy and well! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:21 Tim Goulart Yo Tim! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you're happy and well, and married life is suiting you! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:22 Yvonne Hey Sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you're happy and well, and married life is suiting you! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:24 Julie B. Hi Sweetie! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you and the boys are happy and well! Luv ya. ND Half-price (not $399, but $199... review for $99, not $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 08:29 Melann, reply Ok.. will do... I do have one person in mind... Ty. ... oh no, Ty! You've been supportive of me/us/ND for years and years, and I want you to know it inspires me and keeps me rollin' on ND and EQ. yeehaa! --- 08:32 ... oh no, Ty! You've been supportive of me/us/ND for years and years, and I want you to know it inspires me and keeps me rollin' on ND and EQ. yeehaa! --- gotto go!! 09:03 bus (last one!) super pretty out >> take vids of trip, start early. --- twitter users now use the hashtag as a keyword, to make a point. and maybe to start a thing... --- well done, dude: - rather than dropping the price of the class... it's still $399. but made a half-price page and I'm sending it, in confidence, as a TY, with love, to special grads, one-at-a-time (1ataTime) nice. - IMS IMM project, big win yesterday, twice and, on the team call today, I had Jim describe the projects we just did! brilliant! my job is going waaay better. I got a measure assigned today, but, "if you have important projects to do for Jim, they are a priority." - SG --- Peter -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: New Subscriber - 7 Steps to Increase your EQ. (Free EQRocks Mini-Course) - 4/4/2013 From: "Peter McManus" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 8:31 am To: Greetings Matt: I have just re-read your e-mail and repeated the shaking of my head in amazement. I will also repeat myself by saying again, thank you for taking the time to respond so thoroughly. My first declaration I would like to make is that my focus in life, and I truly think always has been as far back as memory serves me, is about 60% in the present, 30% in the future, and only 10%, at the most, on the past. That doesn’t mean I don’t have memories, and that those memories are not important, it just isn’t where I place the focus in my life. As you eluded to in your e-mail, so many people seem to be so caught up in negative aspects of their past it gets in the way of enjoying today and planning for tomorrow. I have actually tried snapping some people out of that thinking, and it is a very tough nut to crack so I can see where your weekend would be very helpful to those that are hanging onto the challenging parts of their past. I am also blessed with being a positive person and look for opportunities even in adversity. Again, I wish I could teach people to be more like that (not that I want them to be like me) as I think it leads to a more positive existence. I also want to declare I don’t have it “all” together, so please don’t let me leave you with that impression. Like everyone, there are some things I’m good at, others that challenge me, and some of those I may avoid when that isn’t the best course of action. My past also contains a huge issue which I will reserve talking in detail about right now, but that when I finally was forced to deal with it, and dealing with it did require some professional help, the result was life changing. That would have been a great time to attend your New Directions weekend, but I have been challenged to enter the depths of self-analysis and it was a truly liberating experience. I believe everyone can benefit from some sort of professional, well executed therapy and it is too bad doing things for your mental health still carries such a negative stigma in many circles. Today, I can honestly say my current life is probably has more challenges and chaos than I have ever experienced, but with that statement I can also say I have never felt more emotionally and mentally alive and healthy in all my adult years. Go figure on that one! Having experienced what I describe above, I am totally intrigued about your weekend and it doesn’t scare me in the least. So maybe not this round, but when the dust settles I can still see me wanting to experience it. By the way, I appreciate my parents more than ever, and attribute much of my personality to both my mother and father, at least the good parts. As a family, we avoided any sort of confrontation almost to a fault, and one of the issues with my ex-wife was that she, and her family, almost welcomed confrontation. A silly example I use to illustrate this is in the area of gift giving and receiving. With my family, we would never dream of telling someone we didn’t like a gift. More so, we would never dream of exchanging or returning a gift, even one two sizes too small, and even if we could get away with it without the giver knowing it. We simply just didn’t even think that way. My ex-wife’s family, on the other hand, and this is no exaggeration, would be telling the recipient as they were opening the gift how they can return it if they don’t like it. And return they did, with no hesitation. These are two extremes to be sure, but I have worked on overcoming my avoidance of confrontation in my life, but being brought up that way left me with a sensitivity to others people’s thoughts and emotions that seems very EQ-like. I totally agree with what you write about fear, and you will probably identify some of that thinking in what I’ve already written. Admitting it seems to be a majority of the battle, and when we overcome our fears all those great verbs you used are so obvious. Since you are the same age as me, remember the book “I’m OK, You’re OK”? I never finished the book, but I remember one paragraph that has stuck with me all these years. The author talked about how many of us are so fearful of change, that we would rather be stuck in a negative situation than make the changes that could make our lives better. I also remember reading that an excuse people will often make is that if I admit I need to make a change, then haven’t the last five, ten, or twenty years I’ve been stuck in that situation been a waste. Those concepts seem to be much of what you are trying to overcome in people. I just took a break from this e-mail to read your testimonials, and you should be very proud of the work you are doing. That is awesome, Matt, on so many levels. I especially appreciated the places where validating people’s emotions is so important. This was another area from my past that I have improved on and your thoughts on death hit home as a related thought. There was a time that if someone had a death in their family, I tended to avoid them for an extended period of time. That is hard to admit as it seems so cold, but I have become much better in letting people grieve, whether it is a death or other crisis, and not saying those “fluff” statements that people like to say for lack of anything else, or for lack of a desire to really want to be there for that person. In summary, I am still very intrigued and still see the day I will attend the New Directions workshop as it would seem everyone could benefit from it. In the meantime, my dinner offer remains open whenever the opportunity presents itself. (mcp testimonial) Keep up the awesome work touching people’s lives like few do! Peter McManus --- LI-EIN Is any way to cure depression natural way? I believe that a cause of depression that often gets overlooked is unresolved guilt or anger. Therapy or meditation can help with this, but it often involves making amends or forgiveness. By John Stevens - Jan Johnson has sent you a message. Date: 4/24/2013 Subject: Emotional Intelligence Resources Are you using Emotional Intelligence in your practice today? If you or your colleagues are interested in expanding your awareness Emotional Intelligence resources, I invite you to visit our website at http://learninginaction.com We specialize in Emotional Intelligence. Our unique and powerful assessment instrument is being used by coaches and consultants throughout North America, Mexico, and Latin America. Our next on-site EQ Certification is June 6-7th in Seattle, WA. We also offer distance and private one-on-one certification. For further information contact me at jan@learninginaction.com - Is any way to cure depression natural way? There is a consistent subconscious process every human being must go through to bring about any emotional state. If one understands this process it can be interrupted, restructured and the emotional response reprogrammed. In other words it is not about what happens to you it is about how the mind processes the information. As long as we keep looking for external issues to solve an internal problem depression will continue to be a leading cause of disability. By Kelly Burris, PhD --- The 'text filters' in Access are waaay better than they used to be(!) we can drill down, and down, and down, even right from datasheet view. and select, unselect, one or many nice! (more like Panorama) --- Hello Hannes, in response to your post I want to say that I do not think that EI is 'a move away from transactional and analytical thinking' - rather it is a move towards incorporating the emotional component of 'human-ness' as a way of adding another dimension to a purely analytical way of being. I appreciate what you say about the level of politeness required in the society of which you are a part but I also recognise that here, in this cyber-society, it has become commonplace to 'storm in' with one's thoughts. For me, it feels fairly okay to be met with someone else's thoughts, without polite introductions, in a space such as this (just because online transactions tend towards happening in that way) but I am in agreement with you when it comes to the use of derogatory terminology. By Carin Laurie -------- mcp ----------- I do not think that EI is 'a move away from transactional and analytical thinking', rather it is a move towards incorporating the emotional component of 'human-ness' as a way of adding another dimension to a purely analytical way of being. - By Carin Laurie --- >> Tell half-pricers that it's half-price for them, too! --- You must work mostly with west-coasters, ey? How about Friday afternoon, between 6 and 9pm EST? thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Google Support Ad Words From: "Cameron Hoag" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 9:51 am To: matt@2gethelp.com Hello Matt, Thank you for your email. The earliest I am available is 12:00 EST, I am here until 9:00PM EST M-F is there a day that is most suitable for you? --- ND Fresno >> update txt file with all my new ND leads! - peter's out >> list half-pricers do more! and say it's for reviewers AND students! --- Hi Shabbir! Life has been VERY good to me, thanks! (... and I try to be good to it!) I would love to have you at our next class... May 17-19 in Fresno. -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Hey There! From: "Shabbir Latif XA" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 9:28 am To: "Matt Perelstein" Hello Matt, I hope life is treating you well. I keep forgetting to connect with you since our last conversation. I was planning to attend your workshop on 4/5-6; unfortunately, I signed up for a Speaker Workshop with Thrive Academy (happens x1/yr) and I didn't have any choice on the date. I would like to consider the next one if possible. Pls let me know. Peace & Joy! sml:-) "I accept the fact that cooperation beats competition and that compassion is more effective than coercion, and where love is the ultimate and purest form of desire, the multitudes of problems we rightfully fear will melt away as snow in the sunlight."--Gary Hendrick, San Clemente Green.org Shabbir M. Latif, M.S. Therapeutic Recreation. shabbir@xtra-assist.com; www.xtra-assist.com EQ Advance Practitioner with 6 Seconds Electrical Engineer, Ph.D. - Biography Shabbir’s Stress Management System My mission is to live my vision by being a catalyst for others to live their vision. I empower people to improve their leadership qualities by further developing their Emotional Intelligence Competencies (EIC) that, studies have shown, are necessary for success in life. I have provided several successful workshops at a professional conference, for staff in forensic mental health settings, and for senior executives of a large pharmaceutical corporation. I am a Certified EQ Advanced Practitioner with Six Seconds Emotional Intelligent Network (www.6seconds.org) and certified to administer Six Seconds EI instrument (SEI) to measure EI competencies. In 2004, I also got M.S. in Therapeutic Recreation, specializing in “Experiential Education” pedagogy. My workshops enable learning with rich, fun-filled, and engaging experiential activities, related to real life situations. My passion is evident by major career switch over eight years ago; before that, for over 25 years, I had a very successful career as a computer chip design engineer with a Ph. D. From 2007-2012, I helped clients in a very challenging environment—a maximum security prison—to overcome mental barriers and improve quality of their lives. I worked at Salinas Valley Psychiatric Program (SVPP) inside a maximum security state prison. In 2008 I was awarded, “The State of California Superior Accomplishment Award, in recognition of exceptionally meritorious service contributing to a marked improvement in the operations of the state government.” Besides working with the patients, I have worked to improve the climate of trust among staff at SVPP through workshops and facilitating a “Council to Improve Climate.” --- Euc Ladders how long / how thick for $10? I only saw one pic, of short sticks tied sideways along a long stick... is that the ladder? what's the other? Do you want me to take the money, then send it to you, or should they order directly from you? are you on Facebook... if so, join our group and answer them directly. http://www.facebook.com/EucProducts details, details. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus Seeds From: Brian Dunbar Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 2:02 pm To: "matt@2gethelp.com" Hmm...I honestly have no idea what a decent price is! What would you suggest? Perhaps $10 for the ladder and $15 if they would like the twine/plant vine?? Brian Dunbar Cell: 734.945.4880 --- 2-2:30 salad, on the steps, in the sun, with tunes, on Market, again. gave my rolls away 8 of 10 toward a free lunch ($6... chicken!). $4.95, nice lunch. --- Marcie E-Blasts Going Out Before Festival Begins and One After it Ends: Wednesday, May 1 • Kickstarter Reminder - add the Pacific Time ending • Tickets on sale now plus view the trailers • Sponsor Spotlight #2 The Madrones • Volunteer Sign Up Day and Volunteer Orientation • New Venues • Become a Member • 2nd Saturday at MFF Office Tuesday, May 14 • Kickstarter Results and Thank You to all who participated to bring Alloy Orchestra • Kickoff Event at MacCallum House • Anything additional that comes up • Become a Member Tuesday, May 21 • Kickoff Event at Mac House Reminder • Kanbar Charitable Trust Sponsor Spotlight #3 • Link to 2013 Festival sponsors on MFF site plus blurb Re: their importance with our gratitude • Become a Member • Festival is just around the corner, many films sell out, get your tix now Tuesday, June 11 • Thank you to all our sponsors, members, film lovers for another successful Festival • Link to sponsor pages on Web site and final thank you • Look forward to MFF 2014 - add dates - Hey Marcie, The eBlasts look good. In preparation for 4x more going out in the next few months, let's discuss to make this as painless as possible, k? - at this point, we're not changing the header graphic, right? sorry I didn't get it right. - let's be as thorough as possible with the wording. If we can get this in 1-2 attempts, that would be great. - It seems that this is just up to you, and me, right? Should I be sending drafts to anyone besides us? - I stink at picture captions - you pretty much always like the pics to be smaller than the width, with text can be wrapped around 'em, right? Knowing that, there can only be a few words wide on one side. do you like them staggered (one left, next right, next left, etc.)? - we're cool on the horizontal line between each 'story', right? - when you send the wording, put the link in parens following the link wording. ex: MFF (www.MendocinoFilmFestival.org) I know this means to make MFF a live link in the HTML version, and it should follow the wording in the Text version (which, surprisingly, people do still read). - what else? thx. - Matt --- Cool. Call me then. - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Google Support Ad Words From: "Cameron Hoag" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 12:36 pm To: matt@2gethelp.com Hello, Thank you for your email. Perfect, you're scheduled in for 7PM EST --- I've made it so no eyebrows raise when I type like a maniac. so I reply to emails here, then copy, paste, send real quick, and it looks like nothing happened. "go ahead and say it... 'oh, gpa, you're soooo clever!'" --- hesitant to pull (whatever that means... I was falling asleep and woke up and immediately wrote that. no clue what it means, now that I'm awake.) --- 6:04 Hi Shabbir! Life has been VERY good to me, thanks! (... and I try to be good to it!) I would love to have you at our next class... it's May 17-19 in Fresno. You can sign-up here www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/signup. In fact, there's $100 off if you signup by April 30! Any questions I can answer about class, where to stay, etc? Thanks. Looking forward to seeing you again! - Matt (enjoyed the quote at the bottom of your email, too!) --- What do you think of this new concept we came up with on the call tonight? You know how everyone acts like anger is a Bad thing? Well, what if there's GOOD ANGER and BAD ANGER? Blaming, resentment, revenge, hatred, cruelty, violence is all BAD ANGER... but... Drive, motivation, Personal Power, unwillingness to be a victim, demands that our boundaries aren't crossed, the anger that turns to courage and pushes us thru our fears... that's all GOOD ANGER! We usually try NOT to be angry, but personally, I'm trying to add more Good Anger to my diet, to positively off-set my wimpiness, and shame. Good Anger Rocks! Whatchathinkorfeel? --- 9:27 FB-EIN Anna Stevens I am interviewed on #WomenEntrepreneursRadio in a few seconds at 8:00 pm @DebBC @WSBTalkRadio @EntreLeadership http://www.blogtalkradio.com/coachdeb/2013/04/25/author-coach-anna-stevens Author & Coach Anna Stevens www.blogtalkradio.com Anna Stevens, J.D., B.B.A. is the founder of EQ for Success, LLC, an Atlanta-based company that provides consulting, training and coaching in Emotional Intelligence. Anna helps her private and corporate clients create permanent change and achieve lasting success. She provides support and guidance fo.... Unlike · ·Unfollow Post · Share · 4 hours ago near Atlanta, GA. You like this.. Matt Perelstein Hey gang, let's support each other when we step out, like Anna is doing, to try to spread EQ! Please LIKE when people post, or share, or try to impart more info and wisdom on us... even if you don't know them. It takes us less than 1 sec (nowhere near the 6 Six Seconds limit we have on reacting!) to encourage, support and spur each other on to great heights. We like, like, like when you like, Like, LIKE posts! --- Angie Yay, glad you're doing well, Ang!! We've been friends for a good, long time, ey?! Is Todd back in your life at all? How're the girls? How'z you? Note that reviewing is also half-price... not $199, but $99... so, you know you always have a place to come heal, where people love and support you. luv ya, muchly! --- Debby R. You're quite welcome, Debby! You've been very supportive, and a great student, since day 1! I'm super-proud of all the changes you've made, and how quickly, and completely you made them! From shame to fame (pride), fast. Actually, I just noticed this morning that your last name fits you're growth well -- you're Debby, a Rising star! See you May 17? Oh, and Reviewing for you is half-price, too... not $199, but $99! Take care. --- Lourie B. Yeehaa! Glad things are going well for you, and Megs, and Liam... and Brett and Nikki... and Mike and Sheila. I think I might need a 1000lb pumpkin too, someday. Everybody's getting 'em these days, ya know?!? Love you and your wonderful sense of humour, and ability to see good, and the bright side of things, and the good in people. Your spirit is so light, and clean, and beautiful! You're a role model for me. See you May 17? I don't know if you noticed, but Reviewing is half-price too... not $199, but $99. Rock on, sweetie... --- Doc Yay. I work tomorrow, but we can work around it. I get on the bus or ferry about 8, so any time before that would work. I can take lunch most any time and talk to you. Or I get off about 6, so any time thereafter... What's best for you? - Matt 916-599-8597 -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: Anxiety disorders concepts From: "Doc Downing" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 8:53 pm To: Matt, Are you going to be around tomorrow, Thursday? If you are when would be a good time for me to call? Doc --- Saundra Brucker 9:31pm Apr 24 I say Woohoo!!! to good anger. I definitely agree it is a drive or motivator. I was afraid of using anger up until a couple weeks ago on a phone call it triggered it is beneficial if it is good anger. So it is really bad anger I have a fear of. Original Post Matt Perelstein 9:18pm Apr 24 What do you think of this new concept we came up with on the call tonight? You know how everyone acts like anger is a Bad thing? Well, what if there's GOOD ANGER and BAD ANGER? Blaming, resentment, revenge, hatred, cruelty, violence is all BAD ANGER... but... Drive, motivation, Personal Power, unwillingness to be a victim, demands that our boundaries aren't crossed, the anger that turns to courage and pushes us thru our fears... that's all GOOD ANGER! We usually try NOT to be angry, but personally, I'm trying to add more Good Anger to my diet, to positively off-set my wimpiness, and shame. Good Anger Rocks! Whatchathinkorfeel? --- 11:01 Cary P. Hey Cary! As a thank you for being such a long-time NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). Actually, I happened to meet a neighbor friend of yours the other day on FB... Shilpa Webb. She said you were a great guy and we got to talking about class. She said she'd be interested in coming May 17, and her Mom, too. Would you want to invite her/them, and offer her your half-price 'deal'? I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you are doing well. How'z it going with Erika working there? Luv ya, dude. Oh, and I just became friends with Chris, too... (I always called him Christopher, but I guess he's all growed up now!). Good looking dude! ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 11:08 Ricci Hey Sweetie! As a thank you for being such a loyal NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you are doing well. Luv ya! ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 11:09 Rosemary Nightingdale Hey Sweetie! As a thank you for being such a loyal NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you are doing well. Luv ya! ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ - Conversation started July 31, 2012 4:45pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Miso soup with greens you collect from around your property. Isn't civilized life so much in the details. Wish we could all rove in tribes gathering all we need then resting. Of course then there's getting along too. Rooting for you. ...August 2, 2012 2:02amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Thanks for the ideas, Rosemary! I appreciate your kind thoughts... and I love your positive energy! You did great in class, and I hope it's working out for you. Please stay in touch with all thru the ND group, and let us know how your life and marriage are going. Take care. - Matt ...November 4, 2012 9:14pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Matt are you planning any other session up where you live in the future? ...November 5, 2012 4:54pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein in the future, yes! in the near future, not sure. we HAVE to get better at marketing / getting the word out! How'z you?? Why do you ask? Hopefully, I'll talk to you Wednesday. ...January 26 10:35pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Hi Matt, Forgive me for being confused and needing to deal with the $ issue. I was under the impression that ND reviewers like myself could return for near free. You and the workshop are worth every penny that you're asking. It's just that we're not in a position during winter months when we're not working to find big spare change. Big hugs anyway ... I'll see what I can find. Thanks. ...January 27 7:08amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Hi Rosemary. I think we're just have a difference in terminology here... 'Reviewing' is when you re-take the class, as a student, sitting down, where you're sure to get time and attention to whatever you need to work on... that costs... it's only half-price, but it costs. 'Assisting' is when grads come back to help the other new students... they stand (mostly), they're 'job' is to help others... they get specific time only if there's time, and it's up to you (mostly) to get what you need from the class... that's free... forever! Sooooo, the big question is... do you want to do some more specific work on yourself this class (which I would encourage, esp. since you're a 'rookie' and you had such amazing breakthroughs last class) or do you just want to help out (which you, personally, will always be welcome in my/our classroom, as you are super-loving, positive, wonderful person!). hmmm...? does that help clear things up? Call me if you wanna talk. - Matt 916-599-8597 ... 8:50amExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Thank you Matt for clarifying. It's a wonderful opportunity. Let me see. I hope to see you one way or another. Hugs! ... 9:19amExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein I hope you will join us, either way. but I hear you about the lacka-income... been there, done that. So, how about this... can you swing half of the half, or $99? I love how your focus is on helping people physically, and now emotionally, too, so we're on the same team that way, and I know you'll help us spread the good news about ND and EQ! Let's get you what you need now, and we'll join forces for our future. whatchathink? ... 9:29amExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Yes, I can do that! Thank you Matt. More hugs. ...January 28 12:04pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Sorry about that post ... it was not appropriate for ND. ... 12:37pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein no prob... I got the idea! People shouldn't 'live' there... but they DO need to go visit! ... 1:23pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Indeed. Thanks Matt. ...January 30 12:33pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Dearest dearest Matt, I am discouraged. We are going to handle a family need out of town on our ND weekend. I will miss this and you. I am still in the loop. Don't give up on me. Hugs! ... 12:36pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein oh darn!! what a shame. our next class will be Apr. 5 in San Rafael (bay area)... any chance of coming to that one?? ...January 31 3:45pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale I like that ... we have friends up there. Will check into it. Thank you for being there. You guys are the best! THE BEST! ... 3:48pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein You're too kind! Actually, April 5 is my birthday, and paula said, don't you want to celebrate your birthday... and I said, starting a class in the Bay area is the best birthday present I can think of!! ... 4:21pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale You bet ... with a bunch of ND'ers who love you. Cheers! This means a party and cake somewhere in the line-up! ...March 2 4:21pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Hi! How'z you?? ...March 2 8:32pmExpand Show ImagesRosemary Nightingale Hi Matt, We just got home from Alaska. First time to visit my brother and sister-in-law. It was -43 the night we got there and got warmer. A wild winter wonder land. I am good. Just picked up two new wwoofers (ag interns with the program 'world wide opportunities on organic farms') from France. Two young sisters. It's a dear DEAR program for me. Have hosted over 32 young people from all over the world at our little herb and lavender farm. Children of my heart. I've been reading your messages and processing a lot on the surface. I look forward to delving deeper. I cherish you guys. Much love to you both. ...Today 11:09pmExpand Show ImagesMatt Perelstein Hey Sweet lady! As a thank you for being such a loyal NDer and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you are doing well. Luv ya! ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ 11:10pm Matt Perelstein See ya May 17 in Fresno? Note that Reviewers are half-price, too... not $199, but $99! --- 11:17 Richard and Eric Ives G'day gents! As a thank you for being such loyal NDers and all you've done for and with us, I made a half-price sign-up page that you may now use. Feel free to send it to any potential students you invite (but please keep it private, otherwise, k?). I/we do appreciate you guys, and want to thank you for your continued love and support over the years! Hope you are doing well. Come back to class, please, even if things ain't perfect in your life! Luv ya! ND Half-price (not $399, but $199). http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- pause (in chair)................ --- 4.25 01:10 “Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.“ - Mary Kay Ash insights come to you and through you. Wisdom does not flow only one way. - NDW With each moment, we are given opportunities to create change using nothing more than our awareness. --- 01:17 PP = 3312 +7x yesterday(!) -30 Animoto for another year -17 MSC (not sure why) -50 Google AdWords, next 150 should be free -8 GoDaddy, __.com -10 GoDaddy, 2gethelp.org --- Emotional Fitness Training mantras is don't be a FAT head Feeling, Acting,. Thiniking. Be a STAR-Stop, Think, Act wisely, Reap Rewards. --- 01:46 I'm going to have to jump in here as a moderator of this group... Rafael, your last comment was pretty harsh and unnecessary. Of course, it's Hannes' choice on how he reacts to your statement and I'm sorry to see him go, but I would not have approved your comment, if I'd have seen it first. Please no personal attacks in this group, ever. We EQers are first and foremost loving and understanding, no matter how clever we think we are being. (You may be tempted to attack me here for this comment, but let me make a suggestion... don't.) ... and Carin, I loved your statement that "EI is 'a move away from transactional and analytical thinking' - rather it is a move towards incorporating the emotional component of 'human-ness' as a way of adding another dimension to to the purely analytical way of being." (please post that in the Quotes thread, our most popular one, or I will, with your permission). However, I do not agree with your statement 'anything goes as long as it's a true expression of self' type thing..." Let us never confuse brutality with honesty. Thanks guys... continue your debates... but keep it loving and gentle, please. always. --- Lily Chow, Ed.D. commented on What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? --------- mcp --------- "Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind." --- I've a membership to Animoto for the next year. ... and I now belong to 24 hour fitness. ... and what's Lumenz? I wrote to request $26 back I keep hoping to get some help with a video. maybe I just need to do it myself. I do wish I had someone to work with, tho. --- 02:14 FB-RB Matt Perelstein Friday morning?! 8ish or 9ish? - FB-RB = Facebook - Mendocino Coast Racquetball group --- Hi. Anyone wanna help me put an ND video together using Animoto?!? I've hired 3 dif. people to help, and they've all flaked for dif. reasons... so fine, we'll do it ourselves. I have gobs of stills and videos to work with, so let's build a 2-3 minute piece that shows some of the power, and love, of ND and EQ! Anyone care to help make this happen?? thx... it's important, and video is the #1 way to get a point, and a feeling, across to others. www.Animoto.com --- -------------- mcp ------------- Seek those who find your road agreeable, your personality and mind stimulating, your philosophy acceptable, and your experiences helpful. Let those who do not, seek their own kind. - Jean-Henri Fabre - 02:29 FB-ND "Seek those who find your road agreeable, your personality and mind stimulating, your philosophy acceptable, and your experiences helpful. Let those who do not, seek their own kind. " - Jean-Henri Fabre Want to find people of your own kind? If you're a kind, loving person, who just wants to live their life with the most joy and the least pain possible, then join us at class May 15-17! --- I wonder what Doc wants to talk about today... --- 3 outsiders requested info on ND... all no. darn. --- 02:45 What are some quotes that have motivated and inspired you? It all depends on Ultimate relationship (U R), how one is related to ones own self. If we speak you are ( U R), if we reverse this R U (are you). If the self is realized they are gods if not i am not sure what to be called demigods may be. just like we keep somebody in the chair and run the show let what ever be the god's name or religion try to dominate other humans. By davuloori bheemeswar --- pause 6:50 --- 07:18 Friday morning? 8ish or 9ish? Brandi --- N.B. I hate spam and will never rent or sell your details to anyone. All Neuro-Linguistic Change Work Sessions last 1-2 hours --- 07:48 Jonathon?, dude, please put your link back up! Just make it educational or discussable, not salesy. We are not your target market, we are fellow providers, all trying to provide the best EQ we can. Our industry is in it's infancy, so let's help each other present/show/explain/entertain/coerce/offer/give GREAT EQ! So, if you're doing something EQ-ish, let us know about it. Here's my angle, my passion, my unique way of presenting EQ to the world. Post away, and let's support each other's work! btw, Jonathon, again... in my opinion, NLP is one of the most powerful healing arts currenly known to man! NLP says, 'if you don't like the pictures/sounds/smells/tastes/touches in your head/heart/body/space, then you can bring up the scene, and then CHANGE IT, however you want. You imagined it in in the first place, you can re-imagine it now.' boom. done (sometimes!). try it. So, dude, post your link back here... you do NLP work, over the phone, one-on-one, in English (and ?), in 1-2 hours sessions ... and here's what you think is great about it, and here's what you're strugglin with. We're your compatriots, compadres, brothers and sisters in arms, around the globe, excited to help bring the MAGIC of EQ to the world, to create world peace!! :) --- and if I'm being an ass about class, use some of that good anger and tell me. you are allowed to have boundaries, and yoiu are allowed to have demands. --------------- mcp ---------- We don't need permission to be awesome? We can have needs and wants and we can make those happen in kind, loving, powerful ways, where everyone wins. because I know me, and I know you (well, at least your basic feelings). We all fear We all are angry from childhood, and from our teens, and from our twenties, and thirties... and so on. can you really go thru 10 whole years of your life and not have a single resentment, a 'damn it', a 'nah, that ain't right'? we all have current anger, about something that's not right, right now. We all have sadness, about loses in our life, stuff/people/pets/homes/cars/even cell phones we've loved, and lost. we let something become a part of us... probably without consciously deciding... we attach to it... and then we lose it. ... and we have to de-tach... that's called sadness. it's ok. it's not terminal, and it's not forever (unless you fight it... then it'll probably linger... sometimes forever... we had a 91yo lady in class, who was in a concetration camp in Germany... and her biggest feeling was core sadness... ouch... but in allowing it, she was able to release some/most/lots of it, in one weekend, in a rented rec room, in Fresno, CA. She claimed to feel a release and relief like she had never felt before... ever.) So yeah, we're all the same, feeling-wise. dif. stuff in dif. communities/races/countries/societies/religion makes us feel what we feel... but we all still Feel the same anger, fear and sadness. AFS? FAS? SAF? I'm testing this out in class, and it seems to work well... People don't come to class to 'deal with' their happiness and love. they come to class to GET RID of their pain, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, PTSD, aloneness, depression, suicidal ideas, voices in their heads, too many Shoulds, wimpiness, codependence, addictions, constipation (just kidding!), BECAUSE... we know/believe -------- mcp ------------- “If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” - Wayne W. Dyer --- 08:40 go (latest ever!) last bus 24 is at 09:03! in at 10. too late. --- This is How questions work and affect the subconscious Does your subconscious work on questions when you are not consciously involved? Yes! If you have ever asked yourself the question…What is that person’s name? You may not get an answer right away, but in an hour or two or maybe even the next day while you are doing something completely unrelated, the answer comes popping into your head as clear as day. Your subconscious will generate a response to absolutely every question you ask yourself even if it has to make one up. False memories are created by someone continually asking you for an answer to a question the subconscious does not have stored. This can be a tremendous benefit if you are the one who has control over the questions. If you do not have control over your internal dialogue especially your internal questions, anyone can use this process to take control of your subconscious which ultimately takes control of you. When I ask you a question you have to retrieve an answer from the subconscious. If I ask you a question about the questions you ask yourself, you have now gained access to the deepest level of the subconscious. This is the very beginning of the process that brings about an emotional state, which in turn determines your behavior. By Kelly Burris, PhD --- -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Order From: Julie Gulkis Date: Thu, April 25, 2013 9:54 am To: eucs@2gethelp.com Hi Matt, Got your message. I had placed the order over the phone with you and it was to be shipped to my fiancé (Andrew Peters). The address was: Andrew Peters, MD c/o West Bay Surgery Center 1401 West Bay Drive Largo, FL 33770. I believe we did 1 pound of branches. They were for my sugar gliders. I’ve attached a copy of my statement and have circled the charge. Thanks for your assistance. Julie Gulkis Controller Diagnostic Clinic (727) 584-6555 x 2003 (727) 586-6018 Fax E-Mail: jgulkis@dcmail.org - 12:10 So sorry for the mixup, Julie! I just started processing orders with my phone and haven't got the 'system' down yet. Most orders come via email, so I have a hard copy. my bad. So, I found your address in my notes. You ordered a pound of 3' branches... but I'm gonna send you 2 pounds, since I messed up. Do you want branches with the leaves left on, or clean, straight perches? (I suggest left on) I work outta town these days, so I fill orders on weekends. Your order will go out on Monday (promise!). Sorry again. Enjoy your Eucs! - Matt --- MFF >> new eblast, due Saturday Mendocino Film Festival Volunteer Sign-Up Day Come to the Mendocino Hotel's Conference Room, behind the Mendocino Hotel on Albion Street in Mendocino, Saturday, May 4, from 10 a.m. to Noon. We need ticket takers, popcorn makers, concessions folks, VIP list control, and more. Look for the signs. Volunteer Orientation is Thursday, May 23 at the Hill House of Mendocino at 6 p.m. The Festival takes place May 31 – June 2, with new venues, exciting events, as well as films to capture your imagination. Join us – we can’t do this without our volunteers! www.MendocinoFilmFestival.org --- 4:22 Julie B. link not working! http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- >> cut your darned finger nails! hair looks good, btw! --- 6pm out! to home --- 9:25 Oh darn... I/we will miss you. I assume Megs is going, too, right? How about Nikki and Brett? They both JUST got started and have (lots) more work to do, so... yeah. How'z it feel to be a Grandma?? I have been totally blessed to be a Grampa, 4x over, for over 18 years now! One of the happiest things in my life, in fact... love 'em all dearly (even tho' they're not blood, they are to me). What duties were you gonna help out with at class? We'll have to spread it out. It's ok. One of the things I love about class, like I was telling you last class... is that it takes almost NOTHING for people to get life-changing results!! Sure, we could be more professional and all that... and we will, when people start lining up to come (and they will)... but I like it that we can be so casual, and just love the heck outta people, and support their healing process, with no pretense or fan-fare. feels good, and honest, and real. --- http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- Hello Matt I did receive package today. Thanks again. Appreciate it. She is enjoying her gift. We will talking in future. Thanks Joni --- Links How Terror Hijacks the Brain http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/16/how-terror-hijacks-the-brain/ http://www.inner-power.co.uk/start-today-break-that-habit/ 9 Slightly Crazy Things That Might Make You Wildly Productive http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/9-crazy-things-to-make-you-more-productive.html 1. Smile at strangers. Step away from your stressful environment for a 20-minute walk. Smile at the people you meet along the way. You will more than make up for the time with your increased productivity levels when you return. 2. Bust a move. Put on some great dance music and have a little 5-minute party! That's right, just dance. You don't even need a partner! 3. Fire up the YouTube. Find a favorite funny video on YouTube and take a laughter break. Cute cat videos have been shown to help as well. (Not kidding.) 4. Talk to yourself. This sounds nuts, but take a cue from old-school motivational speakers and books: Pace around the room reciting empowering affirmations in a positive, confident tone of voice and great posture. 5. Belt it out. Sing to your animals or children--just be silly and let them in on the fun! 6. Get physical. Do a series of jumping jacks with a big smile on your face. (Bonus: 100 jumping jacks is said to burn 100 calories. Have a snack!) 7. Dial a friend. Pick up the phone and cheer up someone's day with an "I love you!" 8. Hoot and holler. Just let out a simple "woo-hoo!" and think about a goal or future event that really charges you up. 9. Do a Julie Andrews. Think of one or two things that you are deeply grateful for and allow the thoughts to bring a smile of gratitude to your face. (You should think of a few of your favorite things several times a day anyway!) --- Manifestation Intelligence http://www.manifestationintelligence.com/1/5.htm --- ---------- mcp ----------- Exaggerate Enthusiam - Dr. Tim Goulart --- Oh, I forgot to share the great news (for me)! Our gym in Fort Bragg opened back up this week (after being closed for almost a year!), so I get to play Racquetball again!!! I played first thing Monday morning, when they first opened (then drove to SF... droopin' hard), and I get to play again tomorrow morning-- sooo happy! Super fun, and maybe it will help with some of this bizarre swelling that's been going on around my mid-section! :) --- 10:20 Follow Julie How can you have a voice for others, when your own voice isn't loud enough? have you been in a position in which your message needed to be heard locally, nationally and globally, yet you realize with an overwhelming disparity you just don't have the political, medical or educational clout to make a positive impact for people and the economy? I would be interested in hearing your thoughts. Definitely, Julie! I feel frustrated daily that we are not reaching people well enough, or fast enough, to truly help. People are dying, quite literally, to know what we know about EQ! Any suggestions?? --- pause, some in chair, some in bad --- 4.26 02:44 We have to steer our true life's course. Whatever your calling is in life! The whole purpose of being here is to figure out what that is as soon as possible, so you go about the business of being on track, of not being owned by what your mother said, what society said, whatever people think a woman is supposed to be ... when you can exceed other people's expectations and be defined by your own! - Oprah Winfrey (1954 -) “Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.“ - Thomas Merton He who does not get fun and enjoyment out of every day ... needs to reorganize his life. - George Matthew Adams There is no real competition in business simply because most people are not really trying. - HJ Pain is pain and yours is not greater than or less than anybody else's pain and deserves to be acknowledged as such. --- 02:51 go... (home!) --- 07:24 bummer, Shabbir... I was looking forward to having you learn 'our way' to do EQ. You're the only one from 6 sec, who's expressed an interest, and I welcome the distinction. I'll let you know when our next class is scheduled. Was there something specific you wanted to get out of our workshop? Hey, are you going to the 6 Sec meetup on Sunday? I'm going. Let's talk there, ok? c-ya friend. - matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Hey There! From: "Shabbir Latif XA" Date: Wed, April 24, 2013 8:03 pm To: Sorry Matt, I'll have to take a rain check; my son and grand daughter are visiting that weekend. May is pretty booked for me. BTW, just thought of an event and community that you would love. Have you heard of Thrive Academy's Client Attraction Summit; used to be called "Rejuvenate your practice". This is one weekend and with a scholarship it is completely free. They use "Heart Selling System" that is the org that I am attending the Speaker's Mastery event. Let me know if you are interested. shabbir --- R-ball! Brandi Neal Richard Rusty Silver John yay! got kicked outta court 3 'cause they were doing spin class in court 2. not ok! RiteAid to see PR --- PP = 3420 --- FB-ND FB-EQR Short, but beautiful message a critical EQ skill (and something we have total, 100% control over) -- Optimism! --- Dear Volunteer, Come to the Mendocino Hotel's Conference Room, behind the Mendocino Hotel on Albion Street in Mendocino, Saturday, May 4, from 10 a.m. to Noon. We need ticket takers, popcorn makers, concessions folks, VIP list control, and more. Volunteer Orientation is Thursday, May 23 at the Hill House of Mendocino at 6 p.m. Look for the signs. The Festival takes place May 31 – June 2, with new venues, exciting events, as well as films to capture your imagination. Join us – we can’t do this without our volunteers! www.MendocinoFilmFestival.org (707) 621-1606 --- FB-FBM Did ya'll notice that gas is like 80+ cents cheaper in Willits and Ukiah?! AM/PM and Safeway both have ridiculously LOWER prices than anyone else -- $3.15 this morning in Willits (vs. $3.85-$4+ here in FB). Not sure what's up, but it's almost worth driving there to fill-up! Plan your next trip so you're near empty in Willits! (I never thot I'd be excited that gas was 'only' $3.15 -- whatever!) --- which keyword, which sales, and how much did it cost me $20, maybe 10%, to get a $200 sale either they don't bring 'em in, or they do, but they're too expensive --- Google AdWords Display Network is least effective, bec. people aren't actively looking (but 45 of 46 clicks) Conversion Tracking on Thank you page. tracks where and what keyword blanket strategy >> on homepage phone number / email what to do next --- 4pm Google turned Display search off! Keywords Status, if quality score < 7, pause Paused a bunch added more... like What is eq, and daniel goleman eq 1 week now Clicks: 45 Impr: 45,456 CTR: 0.09% Avg. CPC $1.33 Cost: $57.17 --- 4:46 Yes, $150 is acceptable. Thanks for adding the videos (can I do that in the future, or is it tricky?)! Are you wanting to do another Wordpress installation for MattPerelstein.com? Can 2+ sites run off the same WP install, or is it specific by URL? I'd like a blog setup there, and a way that people can leave comments, please... and I guess WordFence is needed, too, right? MattPerelstein.com is currently hosted on www.DotEasy.com mattp / 77777777 (8-7's) but I'd like it on GoDaddy with the rest of my sites, in the \mcp folder, please cool? Should we discuss any look and feel... what do you have in mind? Thanks! you rock. - Matt one more minor thing (but important) -- On NewDirectionsWorkshop.com, I made a copy of the signup page and made signup-discount (only given out to special folks). I don't want it to show in the menu (obviously), but I do want people who have the link to be able to find it... right now they're getting a 404 error (although it works fine for me... try it below). I set it to Private (nope), then to Draft (nope)... what am i doing wrong? THANKS (this is semi-urgent, as I sent this link out to 20+ people already and I look like a jerk offering a heart-felt discount and then page doesn't work!) http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount --- 4.27 09:15 LI-EIN Resilience + Change = Life + Business Survival Today! Marge C. commented on Is trust given or earned? Fascinating discussion. Trust is clearly a two-way proposition, as Carin so wisely captured. Offering trust does not, by itself, create a trusting relationship. The recipient must be inclined to trust as well in order for the mutual trust to be established. Think about what's happening in Congress right now. When one side extends a reasonable proposal, the other side is assuming bad intent. And then the beginnings of trust are shattered all over again. "How could they misjudge and reject my well-intentioned offer? I'm wounded." So starts the slow erosion of trust over time. I also don't believe the 'rules vs. trust' discussion is an either-or. No one (even teenagers) minds reasonable and flexible boundaries. In fact, without some of them, humans tend to get overwhelmed and unfocused. The Number 1 reason people seek out counselors and coaches is that they don't know how to deal with too many options and choices; the Number 2 reason is that they feel they have too few. But as Carin points out, in Number 2, it's more quickly resolved by leaving the situation. Trust and boundaries can comfortably live side-by-side, as long as there is room for discussion about where they're placed. - carlaa J. "The best kind of Relationship in the world is the 1 in which..a sorry and a smile can make everything back again."..Read more at http://ksoc.us/4y - Harvey Deutschendorf commented on Boston: My 12-y-old son asked, "Why would someone do something like this?" How do I answer? When we are children we have no filters. Everything that comes in from our parents, relatives, environment we take in and it becomes out belief system. This becomes our paradigm. Our paradigm are not only beliefs from our parents but from generations that came before...all making up our belief system. If we become aware enough as we grow older we can start to think for ourselves and change our paradigm. We have the capacity to think for ourselves and chose what we let into our paradigms Few people do this as it is difficult and uncomfortable to think beyond what we have been thought. It means creating a new world for ourselves and it takes tremendous strength, courage and resolve. The young men who planted the bombs were acting out from thoughts that had been implanted in their minds from a young age. It is unlikely that they every seriously thought about, or questioned what they were told. I remember that before the age of 10 my parents took us to church....which I did not enjoy. Even with my limited knowledge of the world at this point I realized that there were a number of different Christian churches in the area where we lived and wondered how the one my parents attended could be right...when they all believed they were right. At the time I wasn't even aware that there were numerous belief systems that were not Christian. It was beyond my understanding as to why everyone didn't ask the same questions that I did....how they could simply accept their belief as the right one. The desire to fit in, to belong is a very powerful human need. It explains why so many people stay in undesirable situations, relationships and groups that abuse them. I find it hard to understand how people and groups that preach hatred of others can on the other hand be kind and loving to each other. There has been some very thoughtful comments on this...and a lot of us are saying the say things in different ways. Thanks everyone for contributing to this seemingly endless question. Even though there seems to be no answer, I believe it is important that we keep asking it. - Wayne Hall commented on Do you allow yourself to be as enthusiastic as you are capable of being or do you hold back for fear of being judged or seen as less then... I have to play a tape and see what I do. For me its an inner joy and if you looked you would see a difference in body language and focused attention. I work in teams so there is a quick assessment of where other are at. I don't think about it and shift to match and then see what they are feeling. I then listen and see if I can bring them along one at a time. Often I will get the wisdom of their insight and make adjustments. If there is buy in I have someone to work with and if not I have someone I give space to. I imagine we have this inner social network guidance system that monitors and kind of intuitively guides us. Trust, power, distance, capabilities are all in our inner model and probably a lot more. Our emotional brain is amazing and does so much for us under the surface don't you think? --- Make choices based not on fear, but on what really gives a sense of fulfillment. - Pauline Rose Chance Make choices that take our fears into account, but that are not unconsciously swaying our decision-making. It's about making decisions that are unconsciously BASED on our fears, or knowing our fears, taking them into account, adding our IQ / rational thinking to it and THEN making the decision. takes about 6 seconds. If we don't know EQ, if we can't recognize, validate, understand, take into account our fears, anger, sadness, pain we're not making decisions on full and complete information. only IQ won't do it. only EQ makes you seem whacko. both together is the key! --- 0900 ish sliloh phone call, working on MP.com add 4 sites PP = 3404 --- ,orders saturday, text Josh Lobue to help (yep!) 22x but gotta find a dif. post office! after Jane T (I think, Monday morn) ,ELIZA MOE 1145 S CANYON MEADOW DR. #5 PROVO, UT 84606 1L, MA ,Jessica Meyer S, X ,Andrew Peters, MD c/o West Bay Surgery Center 1401 West Bay Drive Largo, FL 33770 1B >> make subscription semi-monthly m2miller@sccoast.net S --- 5:14 sliloh Hi. You'd better add the following (since it's by far my most profitable site): Fresh Eucalyptus cuttings for pet birds and sugar gliders: www.EucProducts.com and the social media I'd like a link to would include: Facebook Twitter LinkedIn YouTube Scoop.it Pinterest I can send the exact links to each tomorrow, if you need them. Thanks. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: RE: [FWD: Unlock email requested] From: Date: Sat, April 27, 2013 1:31 pm To: "sliloh" Websites to highlight: Breakthrough EQ Workshops: www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com Tip, tricks, lessons and sharing blog: www.EQ-101.com Non-profit bringing EQ to the world: www.2GetHelp.org How EQ can change the world: www.EQRocks.com Thanks! - Matt --- Hi Paul -- hope you're doing ok. Sorry I missed the meeting... work conflicts (I got an assignment right at 5, worked on it 'til 9:30... when the last ferry leaves... went back to my place and worked some more... napped 'til 3, then worked until 5pm... straight... but I got it!! on time and under budget -- yeehaa!) Anywayz, I've been controlling access to the Google mail list (after Michael), just because no one else knows how to do it! The mail list is managed by GoogleGroups.com. Go to http://groups.google.com Login to the MFF Google account (mendocinofilmfestival@gmail.com / mendo95460) Click My Groups choose film-fest-board@googlegroups.com Over on the right, choose Members Then Manage Then on the left: either: Invite members (and enter his email, write up an invite message and off it goes! or Direct Add members ... or I can do this all for you! To MOVE files between folder in Google Docs, choose the one(s) you want to move (click checkbox on left) then the third icon over (up top) is 'Move to'... choose and folder and and off it/they go! hope this helps. I've missed you and think of you often! I'd love to get together and chat some weekend, as I have value your opinion (and friendship)! take care. let me know if other questions. off to a showing by Project Sanctuary at Matheson (I'm the popcorn man...). Hi to Nancy. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Google Docs From: "Paul Kemp" Date: Thu, April 25, 2013 11:52 am To: "Matt Perelstein" Hi Matt, We missed you during the last meeting but we understood from your last minute meeting email. Regarding Google Docs, who controls access to it? We have a new BOD member now on board and one about to come on board. What is the Admin ID and password for it? How do we add members to it? And for me, how does one move stuff between folders in Google Docs? I’ve set up some folders but don’t know how to move documents from the main folder into the new folders. Many thanks Matt, PK --- 5:30 to house to change and grab some dinner 6:ish to Matheson for "The Invisible War" about MST = Military Sexual Trauma 20+% of women! often adjudicated by the perp, no civilian legal recourse popcorn, Adam, Michele, Dawn, etc. met new Rachel 10:30ish pause on couch --- 4.28 (sunday) 05:33 Say what you mean, mean what you say; but try not to say it mean." - Mom Cicchino Simplification Changes Everything How about we become informed about life instead of merely opinionated. - Sheila Brown Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets. - Clark Moustakas The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained. By the age of fifty you have made yourself what you are and, if it is good, it is better than your youth. - Marya Mannes (1904 -) I was reading somewhere that beliefs reach a tipping point when about 10% of the population is embracing them. By Wayne Hall --- 05:38 Melinda Janicki Hi... are we still on track for the end of the month? Please send the money to me via PayPal at matt@2get.com. thanks. Hope you're ok. - Matt --- >> re-post http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/signup-discount/ --- 05:57 Matt Perelstein Thanks for being there, Brandi! I had a great time, too... we kicked butt together (for a while). Went back and played AGAIN in the evening (with the big boys)... partnered with Roberto (the incredible octopus man) and played Nick and (super-powerful) Luis! Never got to play with Jack, but it was good seeing you bud... Jack was telling me that one of the club managers, Alan (i think) is ex-semi-pro racquetballer, and his wife was an amateur champ, too, so we may have some pull, afterall. Please keep reminding them that we need a net up between courts 2 & 3, so we don't get kicked off court 3 while they're using court 2. I'm off to SF again in a few, so I'll miss our cool Sunday morning games. darn. l8r folks... enjoy! --- Euc Ladders that sounds good, Brian, but here are some questions: What about postage? I'll have to ship branches to you, and you'll have to ship branches to them? Do you have boxes? Priority mail boxes are free, but a 1/2 lb in the US is about $6.50, 1-2 lbs is $11ish. Once the ladder is assembled, will it still fit well in a regular box, or will it need to be wider? Have you ever taken orders before? would I take the order or do they order directly from you? oh, and you'll need to pay (some) for the branches from me. I can send you a bunch of 14" branches at once, to keep the costs down. whatchathink? - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: Eucalyptus Seeds From: Brian Dunbar Date: Thu, April 25, 2013 11:24 am To: matt@2gethelp.com I can either make a ladder similar to the one in the picture, or i can make ladder with two 14" L x 1" thick branches. So, $10 for the single ladder in the picture, $15 for the same ladder plus the vine, and $15 for a 14" double branch ladder. which also resembles a "traditional" ladder. Does this work!? I'd rather get things squared away with you before communicating with customers! Best, Brian Dunbar, BM MM 3023 Woodland Hills Drive #10 Ann Arbor, MI 48108 734.945.4880 bddunbar@me.com --- 6:32 Exciting possibility... I'm off to SF in a few (a day early) to meet with Josh Freedman of 6 Seconds, the largest EQ trainers in the world (www.6Seconds.org)! They do EQ for businesses, govts and schools, and I'm trying to introduce our 'deeper and richer' personal EQ training where we "get to the heart of the matter" by actually Feelings our feelings (not just talk about them and analyze them from the left-brain point of view)! Wish me luck! --- PP = 3424 How to create a custom subscription button Recurring Billing "Edit your PayPal payment button" Create PayPal payment button Item Name: Euc Starter Pack - Semi-Monthly ID: EucSub-1/2lb-SemiMonthly Amount: 12.95 Every: 2 months https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R9RCRLJJ9ZXEG --- >> orders after Chris Mora Kym Sandak kymmie61@gmail.com 2346 Druid Rd. East Clearwater, FL 33764 my good friend in Floria, replacement (2-3x) 1L, Oval grays! Shivkumar Iyer 4375, N 145th Street Brookfield, WI 53005 1L, both (via paypal on phone) Jeannie Burchfield 108 Cypress Point Court Unit 306 Myrtle Beach, SC 29579 S* From: choimariey@yahoo.com Date: Tue, April 30, 2013 6:51 pm To: "Eucs@2gethelp.com" Dear Matt , I'd like to order 1/2 pound fresh cut eucalyptus ( mixed two different shapes ). I'll pay by PayPal for $20. Here is my. Address; Marie Choi 8000 Grand Teton Dr. Potomac, MD 20854 Tel:01-365-1352 --- links >> 10 Steps To The Perfect Portfolio Website http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/02/26/10-steps-to-the-perfect-portfolio-website/ Emotional intelligence trumps IQ in dentist-patient relationship, CWRU study finds http://www.sciencecodex.com/emotional_intelligence_trumps_iq_in_dentistpatient_relationship_cwru_study_finds-110877 Emotional intelligence: Why does it matter? http://www.langleygroup.com.au/articles/emotional-intelligence--why-does-it-matter-.html Essential Leadership Behaviors http://davidlsamuels.com/2013/04/27/essential-leadership-behaviors/ “Everyone pays lip service to the idea that leading an organization requires strength of character. Without…emotional fortitude, you can’t be honest with yourself, deal honestly with business and organizational realities, or give people forthright assessments. You can’t tolerate the diversity of viewpoints, mental architectures, and personal backgrounds that organizations need in order to avoid being in-grown. It takes emotional fortitude to be open to whatever information you need, whether its what you like to hear or not.” - Larry Bossidy & Ram Charan The Truth (movie) http://www.thetruthmovie.tv/ How to double your traffic on Pinterest http://igotowebinar.com/replay/pop/ --- 07:16 go... to SF for 6Sec meetup Maryam 10:56 Matt Perelstein Cool event, you guys, thanks! So good to hear about all the great EQ products, concepts, lessons, apps, statistics and successes you've had at Six Seconds -- ya'll are truly leading the way toward a more enlightened world! Joshua, I liked how you shared that the 90's were the Discovery of EQ, the 2000's were about evaluating and collecting 'proof', and now that we have the science, the 2010's are about how to Apply EQ in our daily work, school and personal lives. EQ is changing the world from the inside out, and it's so exciting to be on the ground-floor of an emerging industry... EQRocks and 6SecondsRocks!! --- 06:45 up sydney is pissed at Paula pkp is totally depressed and suicidal, again LI-EIN Quotes The 90's were the Discovery of EQ, the 2000's were about evaluating and collecting 'proof', and now that we have the science, the 2010's are about how to Apply EQ in our daily work, school and personal lives. - Joshua Freedman, COO of 6 Seconds ... and probably the leading teacher of EQ in the world! shower 08:12 go, to Post Office, then try to make last bus 24 drove in ($5 GGB Fastrak, $32 parking at 1 California) then gotta drive to LF tonight and home. 10:10 office (yuck) --- when people ask, on a group call, "Does everybody know...", or "Does everybody understand..." no one answers. Because we're asking 'everybody', but expecting 'somebody' to answer. --- pow wow --- my sweater finally shrunk enough that it fits right again. if I pull my sleeves up, even once, they stretch out and 'hang' loosely (it's a horrible thing, and it's surprising I can survive it!) --- 1:38 Hi again Mike, I have tried to pique your interest in educating yourself, and IMS, in one of the most significant advances in human potential to come along in years. In fact, I just found out that Daniel Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ" was listed as #5 on the Time's 25 Most Influential Business Management Books, ever! As you know, I have consulted with Joshua Freedman, the COO of 6 Seconds about your position, the size of IMS and your needs in this area, and he offered to speak with you by phone. May I have him give you a quick call so you two can discuss how EQ may be able to make a significant impact on IMS? Thanks for keeping an open mind... I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how inexpensive, yet profound, these skills can be to improve engagement and results in the workplace. - Matt --- call re: 0rders 414 573 7038 --- 5:48 What do you think? I added the vets site because there was an odd number. Or I could put those on the side and the bottom area next to it. http://mattperelstein.com/ (!) >> add to LI profile and remove Sue W. --- 6:00 out to LF move car? yes pkp, prob. 6x tonight sydney, katie stuff pr, grandgirls --- 11:16 here (SR) PP = 3564 new record(!) +400 Melinda Janicky refund -26 Gowan's tree farm - dried fruit for Josh Freedman -32 parking, today -20 parking, yesterday -41 1SC -18 76 gas ($3.80/gal, Chevron on Lombard) -7 Portico (salad #7 of 8) -225 USPS -25 GoDaddy ---- -0- + some orders --- talked to Susan Stillman via Skype thanks, send my contact info to lady, here's a link if she wants to know more http://bit.ly/EQSuccess = http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/testimonials Notes: EQ changes lives! Watch/read/listen as people share the significant impacts that EQ (emotional intelligence) has had on their awareness, success and personal satisfaction in life. --- 4.30 00:35 EQ changes lives! Watch/read/listen as people share the significant impacts that EQ (emotional intelligence) has had on their awareness, success and personal satisfaction in life. --- 00:49 to bed --- 06:28 Links (laptop is running sooo slow, trying to close some windows, and using Chrome for e) The Positive Side Of Pain: Re-defining Your Experience http://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers/2013/04/the-positive-side-of-pain-re-defining-your-experiences/ EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SPECIALISTS http://learninginaction.com/ How can we teach the World empathy? Bill Drayton says he knows how (!) http://myscienceacademy.org/2013/04/22/how-can-we-teach-the-world-empathy-bill-drayton-says-he-knows-how/ D-R If you go to Harvard Business School you will now find more people in the social enterprise group than in the marketing or finance group, which is wildly different from even ten years ago or five years ago. That’s very satisfying. We are at a different stage. The world really has to go through this transition from being organized around efficiency and repetition, think assembly line, to a world where the real value comes from contributing to change. That requires a different way of organizing—fluid, open teams of teams. And it requires a different set of skills—empathy, teamwork, a very different type of leadership and changemaking. Afshar EQ Therapy http://www.afshartherapy.co.uk/?sent=1&form=FreeBook_1 - A persons actions speaks louder then words. Proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance. --- Promos --- FB-NDG Yep, I think/hope I made you guys proud! I talked to (and hugged)the whole upper management of 6Seconds, shared how WE do EQ, (and even got some dried fruit for Josh and his fam from an apple farm on the coast). Josh called me over to sit next to him at the luncheon, and we chatted nicely about his world travels teaching. He introduced me as their #1 moderator of the 45,000 member LinkedIn group, and the 2,000 member FB group. Their Director of Education had someone request EQ success stories, so I skyped her last night and said we have lots of those (from you guys!) here (http://bit.ly/EQSuccess) and we're writing/willing to tell more (right?). ... and I'm writing back to each of them to suggest follow-on actions together. Overall, it went very well, and I (still) have high hopes for more. THANKS for ya'll's support... you'd be surprised how much power and confidence it gives me to go out into the world preaching Love... when I know/believe/can see from you guys that I AM loved!!! Woohoo -- yay us! :) --- 06:56 I agree, Tom! We need to balance our few small complaints with appreciation for all they've been thru, and the growing pains they're having, so we CAN play again. For me, I only have 2 requests... 1 big, 1 small. Put a net between courts 2 & 3, so we can play during spin class, and fix the front wall in court 1... that's it. The rest is fine, and us being big kids, we can work it all out. I can see how could we RBers could be a pain, as we have some special needs, like swimmers, and yoga folks, but let's all stay respectful and appreciative, too, ok? Thanks, Larry! Please talk to us here (or at the gym), so we know we're not being ignored, and we'll work thru this tricky start up time, together. --- 07:04 We all have the power to speak up - and out. A voice can get a party started, shout down opponents, or lead a country. - Anna Deavere Smith For every minute you remain angry you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) --------- mcp ---------- "Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can." - John Wesley sorrow makes us all children again. - NDW When we are feeling creatively blocked, it is usually our own fear that is creating that block. --- Sydney, call Paula pkp, think positive --- 07:36 Hey CK, I sent him an invite... when he replies, he'll be (magically) added to our group! How'd the volunteer mailing go? - Matt Dr. John... please join our Film Festival google group, so we can address an email to Film-fest-board@gmail.com and it will automatically forward to all us. THANKS for coming on board! I hear good things, and I'm looking forward to meeting you! - Matt Perelstein MFF Board --- 07:45 THANKS, Melinda (Janicki)! Very gracious of you. Best wishes for your continued health and success!! take care. - Matt got $400 refund last night --- 08:14 gotta go... (I hate the transition!) 08:39ish standup on bus 24 wrote good, tho! >> get emails out to 6 secs, and May, and DanW, and NDers, tonight --- feedback on MattPerelstein.com --- (!) the multi-line, tab indent thing works in an Outlook message, too! but only if the entire line is selected --- I copied Key Tyler's Utils to thumb drive. some great functions there! damn, he's good. ~mcp_Utils_KenTyler.txt --- PKP I am so angry that Dina has now made the Coast into a non-client friendly place by Rachel driving people away. I hear you... some of her decisions have been 'efficient', yet horrible for the clients. so, how about writing it up (you don't have much to lose) and send it to Dina and Rachel...make it professional, pro-business, and to their advantage. something like... Since we're a client-focused service organization, and I know you want to give the best service we possibly can, to as many as we can, I wanted to point out a few areas where I believe we could give better customer service. - We can no longer give out goodies to non-clients. We had never run out, it only took a second to be kind and it was a wonderful service we could offer. - I don't see clients anymore. No classes, no support groups, no client involvement... yet, I had received rave reviews and believe I have helped many, and believe I have unique skills and strengths that can benefit clients significantly. - etc. (just a thot) find good where you can! - da hub (trying to be supportive) --- 2:50 - 3:33ish lunch, on steps, outside (M&M), $6+. and change, but my frequent eater card is now full, so I get $6 off next time chicken! 3:09 WAKE UP!! (pause and erase) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (about 10x!) - so there's: - catch -n- release - feel -n- release - pause and erase(!) --- Ayman just got EmotionalLiteracy.com for $2,750.00 (!) CONGRATS, Ayman -- that's a Great name! 6 Seconds is having another 'get together' in May, as the one they had last weekend went very well. Hope to see you soon. - Matt -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Fwd: emotionalliteracy.com From: Ayman Sawaf Date: Tue, April 30, 2013 1:09 pm To: Joshua Freedman , "matt@2gethelp.com" Hi guys Love form Morocco Finally got the Emotionalliteracy.com URL i have been trying to get for so long I m so happy Will be n the US starting May 20 till Sept.. Hope to see you both Ayman --- 5:53 Wally Clark simplicity1257@gmail.com invited to Google Group, as well. (John accepted) --- ND testimonial I do know what you are talking about as far as wishing you were in a different place. I know everybody can relate to that. The feeling is total frustration with your own feelings and the inability to change what needs to be changed. Needing other people to help make you feel better is the reason we have friendships and connect with other people. It's why ND exists. We are all human and we need each other. --- 6:06 out! >> take 08:20 ferry tomorrow! mtg with Ken at 09:30 get list of Q's together first 6:20 ferry with Ian "Build a Foundation: the Engineering way" - Ian Austin --- 8:45 And this one is mine, although I actually said it to a colleague completely accidentally: "I sometimes need more days in my hours." - Chris Conn By Chris Conn Michelle Benning • "There is an advantage in every disadvantage, and a gift in every problem" - John Johnson If one simply walks around the base of the mountain, he’ll never attain to stand on the summit. Life is a long process of learning and endurance. Universal Processes vs. Individual Processes Chemical vs. Behavioural --- Scotto Amador Cty too late 2 steps down, and part time $25-31, for 50% raise highly qualified 8 years fleet experience how a fleet operates, how it's maintained dif. than a dealership repair everything all, right now, or not at all. us priorities, get vehicle back on the road as soon as possible. scheduled deadlines, to meet numbers 29th, notified 2 weeks in advance, in yard he got me a big beer from Apple Hill fresh, and it won't keep darn. --- Why Love + Kindness = Thinner Thighs http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-Compassion-Leads-to-Happiness-Martha-Becks-SALVE-Cure_1 --- PP = 3602 (!) new record -25 Trader Joe's -5 Facebook --- Making awesome easier --- 10:23 Do you allow yourself to be as enthusiastic as you are capable of being or do you hold back for fear of being judged or seen as less then professional? "Enthusiasm is the divine particle in the composition of self- trust that allows us to fashion our lives from all that is great, generous and true. Without it, we are constantly in danger of falling to our negative knees and squandering our precious life energy keeping our lives predictable and ourselves small-minded, closed-hearted, false and mean-spirited." SMV - Good points, Ann, but I'm torn about that 'gauging the crowd before I let 'er rip'. I was painfully shy when I was younger, and have habitually held myself back from showing up as the powerful, exuberant, optimistic person I am (esp. after years of doing healing work), so I'm trying to 'let 'er rip' a bit sooner, and more often. However, as Josh has mentioned before, sometimes my exuberance must be tempered (add some IQ to my EQ), in order to be taken seriously. I also believe that this all starts with what Susan said beautifully, "I think that once we 'cross the river' to taking full responsibility for authoring our own lives, the journey truly begins." -- Right on! I'm toying with the idea that our ability and willingness to take this 'full responsibility' actually starts with Emotional Responsibility... and EQ can teach us that! If we can take the leap to where we can honestly say, "my thoughts, my feelings, and especially my behaviours are 100% mine", that the first step to EQ, and emotional freedom! Exaggerate Enthusiasm! IQ + EQ = LOL !! --- Ashley P. commented on Welcome! Who are you... and why are you here? Please introduce yourself to the group on this thread. "Hello Group!!! My name is Ashley Priskie. I am originally from San Diego and just moved back after spending three really cold years in ... "more… "Hello Group!!! My name is Ashley Priskie. I am originally from San Diego and just moved back after spending three really cold years in Connecticut. My first introduction with EQ was through my previous employer (Reliance House). They valued EQ so much they made the training mandatory for all 200 employees! The training is what inspired me to look into life coaching and EQ certification (both of which I plan on pursuing this year!). I look forward to bringing more EQ into the SD non profits. --- Eminem Marshall Mathers 313 9th grade Respect fight 8 Mile dream of escaping series of broken homes constantly changing schools, 2-3x/yr got beat up a lot bathroom, hallway, shoved in locker you only get one shot rap battles one-on-one verbal attacks braggin' and boasting respect, usually only white guy feed off rebellious, youthful age. I am white boy 1990's rap-fire word play writes his own, likes to get words that rhyme bend the word, in the orange at face value, nothing ryh orange, porridge drive myself insane with it thinking about words always good at English all these words in my vocabulary stored, but scraps of words and phrases they're not lyrics, but ideas 'stacking ammo' all caps, scrolls early songs painfully public way of settling the score never met dad I don't think I want to I'd find my kids harmful hate is not hip felt I was being singled out I don't have a problem with nobody responsibility if you're the parent, be the parent no profanity around my house 80M albums hard to adjust mostly high vicadin, valium addictions 2 hours from OD 2.5 years sober new album Recovery 1st concert sober you've got be wow'd by seeing this many people and their faces Eminem fans, Thank you, man I'm not afraid, deeply personal softened everybody come take my hand we'll do it together. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLNel4t8I1w --- 31 BUSINESS LESSONS YOU USUALLY HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY. http://danwaldschmidt.com/2013/04/attitude/30-lessons-you-usually-have-to-learn-the-hard-way Sometimes your best effort isn’t good enough to land you the deal. You can’t learn if you aren’t willing to listen. The only way to get other people to care about you is to care about them first. You can’t find opportunities for success if you aren’t looking for them. Just because social media is free doesn’t mean it gets you results. You have to change the converesation before you can close the deal. The difference between success and failure is just a decision to keep trying. If you market like a “person” you have a better chance of getting people to buy. Just because all your competitors are doing it doesn’t mean you should too. You don’t have to build rapport to build trust. Chit-chat is overrated. Pretending like you never make mistakes doesn’t make it so. Working smarter is a result of hard work; not a replacement for it. Your big moment usually comes before you’re ready for it. “Apologies” and “Thank You’s” are the best way to create a conversation on your terms. You have to give a lot to get a lot. Spend less time networking and handing out business cards. Be amazing. People will find you. Once you provide the answer people stop listening. Leave clues instead. There is no easy way out for big problems; but there is always a way out. Negativity isn’t reality. Not for you. Not for your critics. You don’t need permission to start marketing to a prospect. Being “professional” is key to getting prospects to want to do business with you. Working smart will get you more applause. Working hard will get more done in the long run. Sometimes bad things happen to good people with great strategies. Just because it hasn’t worked out already doesn’t mean that it won’t ever. Anything that is easy to do isn’t going to lead to success. ------ mcp ------- Ironically, the quickest way to become an experts is to defy industry experts. ------ mcp ------- The number of people who believe in you doesn’t correlate to your chances of success. Being the smartest person in the room doesn’t necessarily make you rich or wise. You don’t have to be “up for the job” to finish the job. If you haven’t failed a lot, you probably aren’t going to win a lot. Experience is what you get just after you need it. - Dan Waldschmidt, DanW --- ------ mcp ------- Ironically, the quickest way to become an expert is to defy industry experts. I'm selling to be smart about yourself Self-Science you left-brainers, Right-brainers Unite! artists musicians deep feelers empaths channels singers dancers sportsmen ass-kickers great lovers good friends BFFs faith hope trust good. yes, there's bad... but there's sooo much more good. and we can use some of our good to get rid of more and more bad. we can do world peace. we can stop hunger and feel our population. we can be a country, a world, who cares. or we can be miserable, alone and defensive. foundation shift how? 1. Teach Love 2. Preach ER as Step 1 to Emotional Freedom Anger with Love Anger with hate we can be totally, completely, 100% ragin' angry, and not be hateful (I've done it, and I've seen it over and over). The hatred is locked inside the feelings of our inner child. Once those can be explored. You're gonna think I'm wacko, dreamer, it-can't-be-that-simple kinda talk. I hear you. I listen to myself sometimes and go, 'dude, you sound like an emotional fanatic... people don't take you seriously when you're over exuberant. you gotta put your business/professional face on. But, I say no. I don't want to be all business and professional... I want to be real... at all times! I spent most of my life NOT being real, so this is important to me. I dress slovenly. my hair is usually disheveled (and poorly cut). I'm overweight, can't touch my toes, and I'm scattered, and don't finish things. ... but I LOVE like crazy! I am one of the most loving people I know. --- pause 3 up, to bed 07:17 up, YIKES --- 07:30 Evening time is often overlooked in our busy lives, but is an important time of day for reflection on our day's actions. - The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi Susan - One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, writes that if you are not living in one of 3 states - acceptance, joy or enthusiasm - you are basically squandering your time on this planet. Enthusiasm can be contagious. But EI is important in understanding that people around you are not necessarily on the same page. It's important to temper enthusiasm as you bring people along the path with you - whether you are presenting a new idea, gathering support, etc. Remember that others are often at the beginning of your story. Put yourself in their "beginner minds" and take them on a journey to experience that enthusiasm for themselves. By Diane Chencharick --- 07:55 go. to ferry to work early (kinda) to meet with Ken to get my stuff done for Jim to keep my job to pay my bills to bring EQ to the world (that's why I'm leaving early... to bring EQ to the world) ---